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♪ Terrible Tudors,
gorgeous Georgians
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00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,200
♪ Slimy stewards, vile Victorians
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00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,840
♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights
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00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,760
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,480
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
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♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
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♪ Cavemen, savage, fierce and
toothless
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♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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♪ Gory stories, we do that
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♪ And your host, a talking rat
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♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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♪ Welcome to...
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♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
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Horrible Histories presents...
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Revolting Russian Revolution.
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00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,680
2017 is the 100th anniversary of the
Russian Revolution,
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00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,240
a roller-coaster ride of an event
that changed the world forever,
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00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:51,600
featuring unpopular emperors,
mad monks and wild revolutionaries,
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00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,680
and it all happened in a huge
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country that had been ruled by
the same
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Royal Family, the Romanovs,
for 300 years.
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Russia, a land of extreme size and
extreme weather,
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but we hardy Russians have survived
here for thousands of years.
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How?
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I'm Nicholas II, Tsar of Russia, and
I'm going to tell you how.
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Welcome to...
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X-Treme Survival, Imperial Russia.
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X-Treme Survival, tip one - food.
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Crops have failed. What's more,
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the landowner's taking half of
everything you have.
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You need to eat.
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Look around you. What do you see?
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Dead rat and rotten vegetables may
not be tasty,
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but they can save your life.
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But what I like to do is order in a
tonne of exotic food from abroad and
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have it shipped into Russia all year
round.
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Great spread, Greg.
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That's X-Treme Survival.
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X-Treme Survival, tip two - warmth.
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Winter is coming and in Russia,
that means a white,
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frozen hell from which many people
will never wake up.
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It's so cold that some people are
frozen solid overnight.
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He'll be fine.
You need to stay warm.
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Look around you. What do you see?
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Yes, cows produce yummy milk.
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However, did you know that by
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letting one in your house it can
also keep you warm?
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Sure, you'll be surrounded by
cowpats, but you'll be alive.
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But what I like to do is to hunker
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down for the winter in one of my
many warm palaces.
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Good times. And that's...
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X-Treme Survival.
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X-Treme Survival, tip three -
health.
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Fighting illness in such desolation
is tough.
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How can you find medicine when
things are so hard?
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Goose grass and pine oil are
natural Russian remedies that can
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help fight cold and infection.
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But what I like to do is hire a mad
monk called Rasputin who can
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apparently heal people with his
hypnotic stare.
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And that's...
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X-Treme Survival.
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I should probably do more to help
the peasants if I want to survive
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as ruler. But what I like to do
is...
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Pretend nothing's wrong and leave
Rasputin and my massively unpopular
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German wife in charge whilst I head
off to war instead.
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Guten Tag, peasant scum.
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Feel the power of my stare.
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Oh, Rasputin, you're so amazing.
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I think she's feeling better now.
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I'm Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and
this has been...
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X-Treme Survival: Imperial Russia.
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I can basically do anything I want.
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I mean, what's going to happen?
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A bunch of angry peasants are going
to rise up and take over a
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300-year-old monarchy and kill us
all?
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Dream onski!
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Argh!
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Greetings, comrade.
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I am Ratisov Ratisoyovich,
Russian cousin to Rattus.
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He would have been here himself, but
he was RUSSIAN about!
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RUSSIAN about!
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Eh? It's me in a big funny hat!
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Cor, no wonder the people in Russia
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weren't happy with a leader like
Nicholas II.
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And there was a gang of
revolutionary thinkers and fighters
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ready to take over, men whose names
would go down in history like Lenin,
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the bold leader,
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Stalin, meaning man of steel,
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and Trotsky, the general.
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But let's start with the man who
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gave them the idea in the first
place.
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His name was Karl Marx and he came
from Germany.
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He lived 50 years before the
revolution.
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The idea was called communism and it
laid out the belief that countries
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should be ruled by the people for
the people,
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with everyone being equal.
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Now, what could go wrong with that?
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Hi! I'm Karl Marx, the great
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historical thinker and big grey
lion.
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It's September 1867
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and here's the history forecast,
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00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,760
my prediction of how the world will
develop over the next few years.
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00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,760
So looking back first across the
Middle Ages,
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we saw the kings and queens reigning
very severely all across Europe.
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Oh.
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Difficult conditions for most of us,
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00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,520
a heavy scattering of poor peasants
right up until the last couple of
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centuries, when a lot of these
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reigns suddenly ended and things
started to brighten, yeah!
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So as we look ahead to the next few
years,
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we're going to see poor people
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rising up and starting revolutions
against
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the people who control all the
factories and money.
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This will lead to scattered
outbreaks of violence,
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so don't forget the umbrella!
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There's a good chance of bloodshed
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as we move forward into the next
phase of history.
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00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,600
By the time we reach the early 20th
century,
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I predict the picture looks much
more settled,
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00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,600
with parts of Europe being ruled
fairly, not by businessmen or kings,
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00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,000
but by all of us, the people,
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00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,200
and my new communist system will be
sweeping across the planet,
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00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,480
bringing a 100% chance of sunshine
for everyone.
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At least, that's what I think.
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And when has the forecast ever been
wrong?
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Goodnight.
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00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,880
Caviar is probably Russia's most
famous dish.
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00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,200
It's yummy salted fish eggs.
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00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,240
Hang on, these aren't eggs.
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00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,080
They're mouse droppings!
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00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,320
Who's been using my bowl as a
toilet?
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00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,400
GIGGLING Honestly, you can't trust anyone.
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00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,760
Marx certainly didn't trust the
world's rulers.
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00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:49,120
His view of communism was that the
workers, not the rich,
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should run the country and the
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00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,200
people should take control through a
revolution.
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Marx's ideas became popular with a
group of Russians called
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the Bolsheviks.
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00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,800
They met in secret to discuss
replacing the Romanov Tsar with the
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00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,680
Bolshevik leader, Vladimir Lenin.
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00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,560
And to keep everything really,
really shtum,
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they would sometimes meet in rather
unusual places.
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Comrades, our trip to London has
been a great success.
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We have visited the British library,
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where Karl Marx wrote that all
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people should be equal and share
everything
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00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:29,440
fairly and I gave a fascinating
lecture about the revolution.
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00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,960
Then we visited Highgate Cemetery,
where Karl Marx is buried,
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and I gave another fascinating
lecture about the revolution.
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00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,000
But today, my comrade Maxim Gorky
informs me
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that you would like to do something
a little bit more... Less boring.
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Fun, I was going to say, but...
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00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:50,600
So I have brought you here to
London Zoo,
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where I will give a fascinating
lecture about the revolution.
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The Tsars of Russia are our sworn
enemy.
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To overcome these capitalist...
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Ostriches! No, pigs, we call them
capitalist pigs, Gorky.
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The working man deserves fairness,
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but all the rich people care about
is...
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00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,720
Penguins! No, not penguins!
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Money, money, they care about money.
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Under communism, everything is
shared out equally.
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We can save people from the horrors
of...
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Ice cream! Get your ice cream!
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No, no, no. No, no, no.
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Back, back, back.
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Communists do not want ice cream.
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Come on, Lenin, it's a hot day.
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Let us have a little treat.
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Fine, one lolly each.
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I would like a raspberry ripple.
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No, communism does not work that
way.
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If everything is shared out equally,
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you cannot choose a raspberry
ripple.
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So it's the will of the workers as
long as they do whatever you say?
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You've got it. Well done.
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Right, just for that, you get
blackcurrant.
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Oh, I hate blackcurrant!
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I wanted strawberry.
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Under communism...
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Right, you, stop it.
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Viktor, isn't it? Look, have you
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even listened to a word I've been
saying?
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00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,880
Yes, Lenin, I totally loved it.
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00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,240
You totally loved it?
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00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,400
OK, which was your favourite bit,
then?
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00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,040
Erm, the bit with all the communism.
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00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,280
Comrades, do you want to learn
about...
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00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,560
Comrades, there is a walrus in here
that looks exactly like Lenin.
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You guys have to see this!
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I knew we should have gone
roller-skating.
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Greetings, mortals.
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I am the adviser to the Tsarina of
Russia, the very popular Rasputin.
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Ouch!
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00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,480
Oh, right in the...
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00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,600
OK, so basically everyone hates me
and I was eventually murdered by
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00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,960
some of my many enemies.
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00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,200
But how was I killed?
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Was I...
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00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,560
The answer is...
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A, I was poisoned.
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00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,320
And actually B, shot.
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00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,000
And also C, drowned.
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00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,040
I told you I wasn't popular.
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00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,840
Oh! Oh! A-ha!
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00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,920
Joke's on you.
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00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,280
Mm, tangy.
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00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,600
It's either a pink lady or it's been
filled with deadly poison.
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00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,520
Definitely poison.
210
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,800
Yeah, there's loads of poison in
there,
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00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,400
you can't even taste the apple.
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00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,800
By now, Russia was fighting in the
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00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,320
First World War and things were
getting
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00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,560
much worse for everyone.
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00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,600
The people were at breaking point,
216
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,400
but luckily Tsar Nicholas's attempts
to cheer them up were wonderfully
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00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,440
helpful... Nyet!
218
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,720
Good news!
219
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,800
Tsar Nicholas II has come to boost
morale.
220
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,240
On your feet.
221
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,840
Hello! Hello, hello, hello, hello.
222
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,880
Jolly good to meet you.
223
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,680
So what do you guys do?
224
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,000
I am a soldier, Your Highness.
225
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:15,160
Fantastic! What a stroke of luck
because there's a war on, so...
226
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,160
There's a war on, yeah?
227
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,800
Yeah. Yeah! So what team do you
support?
228
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,640
What side are you on?
229
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,080
I am Russian.
230
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,280
Brilliant again!
231
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,080
Cos we wouldn't want any Germans in
here, would we?
232
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,160
Because they're the enemy.
233
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,840
Right?
234
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,240
Yeah. Yeah. If I may, Your Highness,
we need supplies.
235
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,360
We have no food. We are starving.
236
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,960
Right, yes. And boots.
237
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,320
We weren't issued with enough and
I have eaten one of mine.
238
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,000
Very good. And weapons.
239
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,360
And that's something you'd like,
is it?
240
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,880
It is kind of tricky to fight a war
without weapons.
241
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,440
OK, well, look, the good news is
I don't have any of those things,
242
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,880
but I do have a photograph of me.
243
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,840
That should boost morale a couple of
notchinios, hm?
244
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,680
A squiggle for you.
245
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,000
Brilliant.
246
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,840
You don't know any decent
restaurants around here, do you?
247
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,200
Restaurants... No.
248
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,920
No, no, you're the chap that ate the
boot.
249
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,560
Come on, Greg, let's roll.
250
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,520
I'm famished.
251
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,040
If we get out of this alive,
252
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,440
we have got to get rid of him.
253
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,880
Don't eat the photo.
254
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,480
We interrupt this broadcast with
some breaking news.
255
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,360
It's February 1917 and revolution
256
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,680
has broken out in the streets of
Russia.
257
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,880
We go live now to our reporter on
the scene.
258
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:50,520
I'm Katie Wool with news that Tsar
Nicholas II has given up his throne.
259
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,880
The people have had enough of his
rule and are taking control.
260
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,400
Sorry to interrupt, Katie, but
261
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,680
there's been some breaking breaking
news.
262
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,840
I'm Robin Persil. I'm here at
Finland Station,
263
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,600
which isn't in Finland,
264
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,960
it's in St Petersburg, which is now
called Petrograd.
265
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,200
Chances are I'm not called
Robin Persil any more!
266
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,400
Either way, I have news of
a surprise arrival.
267
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,080
Oh, and I think he's here now.
268
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,320
Way ahead of you, Robin, soz.
269
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,080
And he's with me now.
270
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,440
Communist leader Vladimir Lenin.
271
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,480
Out of the country for ten years,
272
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,360
you must be delighted with the
reception.
273
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,960
Comrades, it's great to be back in
Russia! Yes, it is!
274
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,040
With the Royal Family gone, everyone
now needs to do as I...
275
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,080
No, no, no, the people.
276
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,040
As the people command!
277
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,680
Sorry, Katie,
278
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:39,720
this news just breaking is breaking
news that's breaking now.
279
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,280
Forces who are sympathetic to the
280
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,640
Tsar are now fighting back against
the Communists.
281
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,520
I'm joined by Maria from the...
282
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,200
Women's Battalion of Death!
283
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,640
Oh, that's a cool name.
284
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,160
And Peter from the...
285
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,320
The Bicycle Battalion.
286
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,000
Yeah, not as good. Communists, die!
287
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,640
Hang on! I'm right behind you!
288
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,720
Hold that. Maria!
289
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,880
Is there a cycle lane?
290
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,480
Old news, Robin.
291
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,440
It's now October,
292
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,160
the second revolution is in full
293
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,160
swing and the communists are
on the rise.
294
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,440
You, old man, say words.
295
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:20,080
Comrade Lenin is fighting to create
a better world for working people.
296
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,760
And what about those who say that
297
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,160
Lenin makes other people do the
fighting
298
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,880
for him while he puts on a disguise
and hides?
299
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,560
Who said I...?
300
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,440
Such liars are enemies of the
people.
301
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,200
Quick tip - a beard isn't a great
302
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,840
disguise if you already have a
beard.
303
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,880
Sorry to interrupt, Katie, but one,
I'm not, and two,
304
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,680
I am inside the Winter Palace,
the Tsar's home,
305
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,400
which has been taken over by the
Communists.
306
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,120
I can now speak to two of the
307
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,720
leaders of the new October
Revolution,
308
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,160
Leon Trotsky and Joseph Stalin.
309
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,080
Guys, congratulations.
310
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,880
Da, it is a victory for all
working people,
311
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:05,480
but as the leader of the troops,
I am especially proud of...
312
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,840
Oh, it says in the paper here that
I was more of a leader than you.
313
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,280
Oh! You are the editor of the
newspaper. You wrote it yourself.
314
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,320
Only because it is true.
315
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,400
Do you think you're better than me?
316
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,280
Oh, no, you better did not!
317
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,080
Oh, no, you didn't! It's really
kicking off in here!
318
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,960
I have to interrupt your boring
report, Robin,
319
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,880
because I am once more with the main
man himself, Vladimir Lenin,
320
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,720
arriving at the Winter Palace.
321
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,560
Are the soldiers gone?
322
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,360
Yes, victory is yours.
323
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,200
How do you feel?
324
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,360
Once the revolution is complete
325
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,960
there will be no more inequality, no
war, no conflict.
326
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,480
Everybody will live in peace.
327
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,480
Hi, there, Robin Persil here,
reporting live.
328
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,400
I'm Katie... And I'm Robin...
329
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,760
Thank you, Robin, thank you, Katie.
330
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,520
We'll keep you up to date with any
further developments.
331
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:03,120
The revolution soon spread from
Russia to other countries around
332
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,240
its border and together they became
333
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,080
known as the Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics, or...
334
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,720
♪ So we won the day,
it's all changed here, a new country
335
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,800
♪ Russia now but a union
336
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,320
♪ Of Soviet Socialist Republics
337
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,080
♪ Don't exactly roll off the tongue
338
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,080
♪ So we say USSR
339
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,440
♪ Sounds great when played on
guitar, boy
340
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,200
♪ Yes, we're the USSR
341
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,880
♪ Marx said it couldn't work
342
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,480
♪ And Russia said it would
never stick, ha!
343
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,200
♪ But in 1922 and in other countries
too
344
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,840
♪ And in the future we became
even more big, big, gigantic
345
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,320
♪ Let me tell ya
346
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,400
♪ Revolution here has been
a great success
347
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,760
♪ Red's no longer under the bed
348
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,000
♪ Nicholas II everybody reckons
349
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,280
♪ Much better ruler now he's dead
350
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,080
♪ I'm back in USSR
351
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,080
♪ We said ta-ta to the tsar boy
352
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:23,400
♪ Back in USS,
back in USS, back in USSR! ♪
353
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,160
So now Lenin and his Bolsheviks were
354
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,760
in charge and that was the end of
the Russian royal family.
355
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,920
They came to a sticky end,
I'm afraid to say.
356
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,800
Communism spread to other countries
near Russia and together they became
357
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,160
the Soviet Union or
358
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,000
the USSR.
359
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,880
Lenin ruled for seven years and died
in 1924,
360
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,360
but just because he died doesn't
mean you can't still visit him...
361
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,840
Pryvet!
362
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,640
You know, a lot of people say to me,
"Comrade Lenin,
363
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,040
"how do you keep your skin looking
so young,
364
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,120
"given that you are dead and
everything?"
365
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,880
My secret - Lenin's Revolutionary
Embalming Process.
366
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,480
It's so easy - simply die,
367
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,040
lie back, and let Russia's finest
boffins do the work.
368
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,960
Here's the science bit.
369
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,640
First, they remove your brain and
all your organs.
370
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,120
Next, they fill you with
371
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:29,200
formaldehyde and gently apply a
cleansing bleach
372
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,600
to keep your skin looking young and
free of telltale fungus,
373
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,560
and in no time at all, you, too,
374
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,280
will be looking as good as the day
you died...
375
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,640
nearly 100 years ago.
376
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,320
Come see for yourself.
377
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,000
I'm still around today.
378
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,120
Red Square Moscow open ten to one,
Tuesday to Thursday.
379
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,920
No dogs allowed. Still got it!
380
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,320
Lenin's Revolutionary Embalming
Process,
381
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,200
because I am worth it, comrades,
nyet?
382
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,360
Now we have a new man in power and
he was
383
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,920
planning to stay there.
384
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,640
Whoa!
385
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,920
Joseph Stalin killed or imprisoned
anyone who spoke out against him.
386
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,440
It's no wonder we were all terrified
of him.
387
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,160
He even had the history books,
388
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,920
photos and newspapers changed to
make him look good.
389
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:25,440
And that wasn't all - they even
changed the children's stories.
390
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,120
Uncle Joe Stalin's Nursery Rhymes,
391
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:34,080
50 classic children's songs heavily
edited by our great leader to turn
392
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,400
every child into an obedient little
Stalinist,
393
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,600
including his favourite,
Old MacDonald.
394
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,600
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm
395
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,720
♪ That Stalin took away
396
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,360
♪ Now no farmers own their farms
397
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,560
♪ And that's A-OK
398
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,840
♪ With forced labour here and forced
labour there
399
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,720
♪ Here forced labour, there forced
labour
400
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,440
♪ Everywhere there's
forced labour. ♪
401
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,600
And this much improved version of
Clap Your Hands...
402
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:06,400
♪ If you're happy with Stalin
clap your hands
403
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,360
♪ If you're happy with Stalin
then you really need to show it
404
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,400
♪ If you're happy with Stalin
clap your hands. ♪
405
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,960
And don't stop for at least 11
minutes.
406
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,400
Otherwise, he will put you in labour
camp for ten years.
407
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,360
And who could forget I Knew An Old
Lady Who Swallowed A Fly?
408
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,240
♪ I knew an old lady who swallowed
a fly... ♪
409
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,680
And that was enough food for her.
410
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,520
She didn't overeat like
a capitalist pig.
411
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,120
STOMACH GURGLES
412
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,160
And many, many more.
413
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,920
Remember, it's never too early to
start brainwashing your kids.
414
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,440
Buy it now.
415
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,600
I said now!
416
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,200
But Russia is a wonderful place,
too, and throughout history,
417
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,680
many powerful leaders have tried to
invade and conquer Russia,
418
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:53,960
but they all found out the hard way,
it's not as easy as it looks.
419
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,920
Hey, guys, Dave TDS here.
420
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,440
Now, loads of you have been
messaging in saying, "Dave,
421
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,240
"have you ever tried invading
Russia?"
422
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,200
"And I'm, like, 'No, I totally
haven't.'"
423
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,680
So in today's video, we're going to
give it a go.
424
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,400
It's 1707, and we're going to invade
425
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,360
Russia as King Charles XII of
Sweden.
426
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,040
We're on the Peter the Great level.
427
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,360
OK, my plan is to attack quickly
and...
428
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,280
Hey, they're running away! No way!
I haven't even started.
429
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,520
Let's chase them, grab some food and
power-ups.
430
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,280
This is too easy.
431
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,520
Uh-oh, what's Scorched Earth?
432
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,120
The Russians are setting fire to all
the food and power ups.
433
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,600
Peter the Great Big Cheat, more
like.
434
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,280
No! Russian Winter!
435
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,480
We've been totally iced.
436
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,160
Oh, game over for me and the entire
Swedish Empire.
437
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,200
OK, let's go again. This time
it's 1812 and I can't lose
438
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,840
as I'm fighting as the big man, the
great Napoleon.
439
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,160
Now, Napoleon can pretty much call
up all the French people to fight,
440
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,160
so my army is mega-huge.
441
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,720
Never mind a walk-through, this is
going to be a walkover.
442
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,440
Guys. Not this time, fellas.
443
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,480
There's ages till the Russian
winter.
444
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,280
All I have to do is get to Moscow.
445
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,000
Yeah, I've taken the city and...
446
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,760
They set it on fire!
447
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,560
It's your own city, guys!
448
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,720
Seriously? OK, got me a bit of time
before winter...
449
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,920
No! Beaten by the winter again.
450
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,880
OMG, disaster.
451
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,240
This time it's 1941 and I'm Hitler's
Operation Barbarossa invading the
452
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,640
USSR. I'm facing the end-of-level
453
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,280
boss Stalin and I am not messing
about this time.
454
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,960
I've got the biggest military force
ever assembled and Hitler's
455
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,840
special move.
456
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,760
Hey, they're running away!
457
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,480
It doesn't matter, guys, I'm ready
for them this time.
458
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,400
I can still catch them at
Stalingrad with
459
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,920
my tanks and... Wow.
460
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,280
This is new.
461
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,840
Stalin has used his Women And
Children special move.
462
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,960
His troops are fighting like mad to
protect them.
463
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,800
This guy's crazy.
464
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,200
I'm still stronger than him, so as
long as we can avoid winter...
465
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,600
No! No way, I've lost again!
466
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,200
So if this game teaches us anything,
467
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:58,720
the best tip for invading Russia is
don't even bother.
468
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,200
See you later! Bye!
469
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,480
It's not surprising that despite
helping win the Second World War,
470
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,600
Stalin now had rivals all around
the world,
471
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,560
even in other countries that were
now communist too.
472
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,240
Like Chairman Mao, the leader of
China.
473
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,360
Ah, Marshall Zuko,
474
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:23,640
this is an auspicious occasion for
the day we take action against the
475
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,080
Soviet Union's great rival...
476
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,920
Chairman Mao of China.
477
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,000
I shall mobilise our armed forces
immediately, Comrade Stalin.
478
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440
This will not be a military attack.
479
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,560
Espionage, then? We shall send our
best spies.
480
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Espionage is but a small part of it.
481
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,520
Assassination? No.
482
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,440
Propaganda? Warmer.
483
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,240
Do you want to just tell me?
I was enjoying that, but whatever.
484
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,160
I want you to steal the Chinese
leader's poo-poo.
485
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:53,680
I'm hoping that's the name of his
panda.
486
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:58,040
Nope. Our gadget maker Q-ovich has
come up with this.
487
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,600
A toilet?
488
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,080
A toilet that will take away
Chairman Mao's poo-poo.
489
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,480
But don't all toilets...?
490
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,520
Take away his poo-poo and store it,
Marshall,
491
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,920
so that you can collect it.
492
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,320
It'll be a big job, but I think you
can handle it.
493
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,760
What we find in this toilet, we will
use against him.
494
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,680
What are you going to do?
495
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,480
Throw it at him? No, Marshall, the
information,
496
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,880
we will use the information against
him. What he eats, what he drinks,
497
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:32,560
what makes him ill. The poo is like
a little brown crystal ball.
498
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,720
So, Marshall, what do you think of
my plan?
499
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,320
Erm, Comrade Stalin, are you sure
about this?
500
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:45,240
I mean, what's better than
conventional espionage?
501
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,520
Es-poo-onage, that's what!
502
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,720
Don't forget to wash your hands.
503
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,880
It's true, Stalin really was so
suspicious of Chairman Mao that he
504
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,480
was looking into his business.
505
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,280
He was his number two priority,
ha-ha-ha!
506
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,760
But Mao wasn't his only rival.
507
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,160
In the years after the Second World
War,
508
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,160
a different kind of war developed.
509
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,240
A subtle, secret war of spies,
threats, propaganda,
510
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:20,320
assassinations and nuclear weapons.
511
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,680
The two main enemies were the USA
and the USSR.
512
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,000
They never actually went into
physical battle against each other.
513
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
This war was called
514
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,440
the Cold War.
515
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,280
The Soviet Union has declared war
with the west.
516
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,240
I'm Katie Wool here with
517
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,400
former British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill.
518
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240
Winston, what's happening?
519
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,800
Absolutely nothing.
520
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,440
It's a Cold War.
521
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,400
Right, a Cold War, what's that?
522
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,600
Do the soldiers sneeze on each
other?
523
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,320
No. From Stettin in the north to
524
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:59,240
Trieste in the south, an Iron
Curtain
525
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,840
here has descended across Europe,
separating East from West.
526
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,080
I wouldn't want to iron that
curtain.
527
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,920
No, it's not an actual curtain.
528
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,600
It's a metaphor to illustrate
a point.
529
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,520
Sorry, Sophie, your curtain might
not be real, but this wall is.
530
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,200
It's the Berlin Wall.
531
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,560
It's 1961 and all around the western
half of Berlin,
532
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,440
which is in the middle of
Russian-controlled East Germany,
533
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,400
a wall is being built to stop people
escaping.
534
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,600
I'm joined now by east German leader
Walter Ulbricht.
535
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,360
Now, Walter, how long will the wall
be when it's finished?
536
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,040
About 91 miles.
537
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,080
OK, and wouldn't it be a lot cheaper
to use a curtain like they have in
538
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,200
Russia? It's not a real curtain!
539
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,080
And that's an exclusive.
540
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,520
I'm going to have to interrupt you
there, Robin,
541
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,880
as I am with someone much more
important than you.
542
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,360
Leader of the USSR Nikita
Khrushchev,
543
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,560
is this a real war or not?
544
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,520
Well, Katie, there's plenty of
fighting going on
545
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,120
here, here, here and, erm, here.
546
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:03,280
But if your enemy is the West, why
not just fight America and Britain?
547
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,080
That is a good question.
548
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,880
Come with me. That is why we have
this red button here.
549
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,080
Don't worry, I just touch it for
demonstration purposes.
550
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:18,560
You see, this button would unleash a
huge nuclear attack against all the
551
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,640
countries of the west. Yes, they
have one too, aimed at us,
552
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,640
so nobody dares to push it otherwise
the whole world goes -
553
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,440
how you say in English - KABOOM!
554
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,160
But that's mad.
555
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,640
Yes, MAD. Mutually assured
destruction.
556
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,080
Exactly. Oh, thank you.
557
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,480
No! Don't worry, I'm just putting my
coffee cup down.
558
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,400
He's very anxious, I apologise about
him.
559
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,480
This is not a cappuccino!
560
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,920
This is a latte! What you do?!
561
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,560
Please! Hey, don't worry about it,
I just got a little bit angry.
562
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,560
So very nervous.
563
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,440
Stop looking at... You don't want me
to touch it?
564
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,400
Oh! Oh, I nearly touch!
565
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,920
Stop, please! I going to...? Oh!
566
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,120
No, please, please!
567
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,760
Oh! I'm all right.
568
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,680
Oh, well, so much for the big
Cossack dance dancing finish.
569
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,680
In the end, after a long, painful
Cold War,
570
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,240
people got fed up with the way
571
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,880
communism tried to control their
lives,
572
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,120
just like they got fed up with the
Tsars,
573
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:28,880
even though the idea was everyone
should be equal,
574
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,480
people were still being oppressed by
the government.
575
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,600
Communism fell apart across Europe,
576
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,400
the walls between the two sides came
down,
577
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,520
like the Berlin Wall in 1989,
578
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,760
and two years later, the Soviet
Union itself
579
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,640
collapsed and went back to being 15
separate countries.
580
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,600
I wonder what Lenin,
581
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,560
Stalin and all those revolutionaries
from 100 years ago would
582
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,120
have thought about that...
583
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,000
♪ We used to rule the universe
584
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,320
♪ Think we're bad? We thought the
tsars much worse
585
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,880
♪ In '61 the Soviets split Berlin
586
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,840
♪ Built a wall to keep you out
And their people locked in
587
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,400
♪ In 1917 we fought the Tsar
588
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,880
♪ The empire strikes back but can't
beat our star
589
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,200
♪ Our comradeship said all men are
equal
590
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,120
♪ Except when it's more equal in our
Tsar Wars sequel
591
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,880
♪ Back in the day for the workers
we fight
592
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:33,800
♪ Against the capitalists
but I'm outta sight
593
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,200
♪ Unlike China who still have their
wall
594
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,920
♪ This was a wall that was doomed to
fall
595
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,160
♪ Country after country they've had
enough
596
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,720
♪ To the Soviet Union they said get
stuffed
597
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,440
♪ Like Wizard of Oz they don't lead
us ruthless
598
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:55,000
♪ Pulled back iron curtain to leave
us toothless
599
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,520
♪ By 1989 the masses revolted... ♪
600
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,480
Hey, Joe! Remind you of anything?
601
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,200
♪ Want revolution? Now in Berlin you
got one
602
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:10,080
♪ Turns out tsar not the only
problem
603
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,440
♪ Weren't trying to build an empire
but hey
604
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,200
♪ Just seemed to kind of end up
that way
605
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:25,560
♪ Back then our people told the
tsars to go
606
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,560
♪ Only this time we were
the hated foe
607
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,280
♪ The people gave the Berlin wall
some welly
608
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,480
♪ First revolution to be watched on
telly
609
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:40,080
♪ Hated state cops were called the
Stasi
610
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,280
♪ Now so scared, locked themselves
in the khazi
611
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,800
♪ Country after country they've had
enough
612
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,280
♪ To the Soviet Union they said get
stuffed
613
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,680
♪ Like Wizard of Oz they don't lead
us ruthless
614
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,640
♪ Pulled back iron curtain to leave
us toothless
615
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,720
♪ Berlin reunited without firing
a shot
616
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:04,280
♪ The locals got rid of our
communist bomb
617
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,640
♪ Our hopes and dreams took a turn
for the worst
618
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,440
♪ And we no longer ruled the
universe. ♪
619
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,880
Oh! Almost!
620
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,080
A-ha!
621
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,080
What's that line...
622
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,920
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
623
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,440
♪ Hope you enjoyed
624
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,680
♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
625
00:31:33,730 --> 00:31:38,280
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