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♪ Terrible Tudors, gorgeous
Georgians, slimy Stuarts
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00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,880
♪ Vile Victorians, woeful wars
3
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,000
♪ Ferocious fights, dingy
castles, daring knights
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,720
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,480
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,680
♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
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00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,560
♪ Cavemen, savage,
fierce and toothless
8
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,040
♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,760
♪ Gory stories, we do that
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00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,280
♪ And your host, a talking rat
11
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,360
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,520
♪ Welcome to...
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♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
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00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,200
Horrible Histories presents...
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00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,320
Since the dawn of time we humans
have been inventing things.
16
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,480
Many of which are still in
use today.
17
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,280
I'll have a bit of turnip on that.
18
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,840
Friends, I have an invention that
is going to change the world.
19
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,360
I call it...the wheel.
20
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,400
The wheel.
21
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,000
The wheel?
22
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,600
Yep. Because "wheel" all benefit
from it, so wheel.
23
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,960
That's a working title.
24
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,200
Probably change it. Anyway,
25
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:13,120
the point is it helps you move heavy
things with hardly any effort.
26
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,920
Don't work. No, see, you're doing
it wrong.
27
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,160
So, you stand it up like this.
28
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:24,160
Hold. And then, you put a stick
in there.
29
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,520
And then it moves.
30
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,200
See? Clever, isn't it?
31
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,520
Where do you put the turnips?
32
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,400
Yeah. Well, I'm coming to that.
33
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,280
I'll be honest with you,
I prefer my sack.
34
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:38,840
Friends, I too have an invention -
it's better than yours.
35
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,840
This should be good.
Yeah, it is, actually.
36
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,360
I present...
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..the other wheel.
Ooo. What do you mean, "ooo"?
38
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,520
He's copied me? No I haven't because
yours is rubbish.
39
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,280
Can't carry anything on that.
But with mine...
40
00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,760
..there you go.
41
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,760
Ooo. Nice. Two more on the other
end, a bit of a platform.
42
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,960
And we all benefit.
43
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,440
You could get the whole
family on that, but
44
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,640
at the same time, it's handy if you
are just nipping out for a turnip.
45
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:12,320
Hello? Original inventor here!
Does it come in granite?
46
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,040
Fine, I'm going to the next village.
47
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,680
Perhaps there they will
appreciate my genius.
48
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,080
Yeah, you know what would help
you there? Yes, I know!
49
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,520
Yeah, so humans have invented stuff
50
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,280
but what about the great
rat inventions?
51
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,480
Like, um, um...
52
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,040
Does the plague count?
53
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,600
No? Right, that's it,
54
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,280
I'm going to prove rats can
be great inventors, too.
55
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,000
It's tricky, though. So much
has already been invented.
56
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,240
And lots of it by the Romans,
the Greeks and the ancient Chinese.
57
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,960
But I wonder which one was best.
58
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,720
Yo, yo, it's going down right now.
59
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,080
So, like, all these ancient
Greeks, right,
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00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,040
man, them turn up, talk about how
we invented all this stuff.
61
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,160
Way more than you Romans, right,
and then the ancient Chinese guys,
62
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,960
they turn up and they like,
oh, we invented 'nuff stuff,
63
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,400
way more than you Greeks.
64
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,800
Now that is fighting talk, man.
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00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,000
You get me? Things about to get
real. Real fast.
66
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,120
It's going to be nasty.
67
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,720
All right, all right, I've got one.
68
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:14,000
Yo, I'm a master inventor,
the greatest in China
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,280
Wasting my time with these
Athenian whiners...
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00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,920
No. Not me.
71
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,920
We invented everything from
goldfish to bum wipers
72
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,560
We were inventing while Greeks
were still in diapers.
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00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,560
Yeah. That's all right,
that's all right, listen up.
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00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,240
Democracy, geometry,
and even physics
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00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,840
The marathon, the play
and even the Olympics
76
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,400
The alarm clock, the anchor
and central heating
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00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,360
The only way you're going to win
this is if you invented cheating.
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00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,560
Oh.
79
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,520
You want a list, we've got oodles
80
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,600
We invented noodles
81
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,320
While you were doing doodles
on the paper we invented for you.
82
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,560
Oh, yeah. OK, sit down,
and pull up a chair
83
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,760
Like my steam engine
you're full of hot air
84
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,200
We invented mathematics,
we even invented pi
85
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,080
Oh, and by the way,
your mama says, hi.
86
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,080
What? Yeah.
87
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,240
I just saw her down at the shops,
with your dad.
88
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,960
Check it out. The Greeks may fill
pages with their books
89
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,880
But we invented fishing reels
for reeling in your hook
90
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,120
Acupuncture, silk,
cross bows and the bell
91
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,480
Our inventions are awesome,
while yours just smell.
92
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,440
No, I ain't beat.
93
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,560
Yo, yo, yo, yo yo, yo.
94
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,040
Did we invent the yo-yo?
95
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,600
OK, what about dominos?
96
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,200
That was us. Yeah all right, what
about the compass then, yeah?
97
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,320
Yeah, us. Give it up man,
the word is on the street
98
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,360
It was China versus Greece
and you got beat.
99
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,200
OK, let me do one, let me do one.
100
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,920
Yeah, it's true, you guys
invented a lot of cool stuff
101
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,360
And yeah, beating that
is gonna be tough
102
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,920
But I have something that
will have you all shushin'
103
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,320
I'm a mighty Roman
home of the whoopee cushion.
104
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,040
Literally what? What was that?
105
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,800
Ridiculous, man.
The whoopee cushion.
106
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,040
PFFFT!
Ha-ha, genius.
107
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,360
Of course, we Romans invented more
than just a whoopee cushion.
108
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,360
We wrote the book on inventions.
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00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,440
Well, kind of.
110
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,520
Time for your bedtime
story, Atticus.
111
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,600
Now where were we up to?
112
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,360
Mummy, can't we just read from
this instead?
113
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,320
Is called a codex, it's new.
114
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,160
At school they're calling them
books.
115
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,040
You cannot have a codex, Atticus.
116
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,720
I always read you a scroll
at bedtime.
117
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,440
Mummy, stopping being so Etruscan.
118
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,080
Scrolls are so not cool.
119
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,080
A book is really portable and also
you can find your place
120
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,400
without having to unravel
the whole thing.
121
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,480
I don't like those modern devices.
122
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,160
It will give you eyestrain
and your arms will get tired,
123
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,960
from all that page-turning.
124
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,400
Everyone at school has got one.
125
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,240
Just because your
friends have codexes...
126
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,920
It's codices actually, Mummy.
127
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,080
Nobody likes a smarty-pants.
128
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,920
Now then, uh, here we are.
129
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,760
"That morning the mighty warrior..."
130
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,440
I've already read that bit, Mummy.
131
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,000
Let's see, let's see.
132
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,200
Find it. Ah, here we go.
133
00:05:55,200 --> 00:06:00,000
"And then the great warrior
was stabbed to death."
134
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,000
Sorry, too far, spoiler alert.
135
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,520
Forget you heard that bit.
136
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,640
Um, not there, not there.
137
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,040
Back here. Maybe.
138
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,320
Read that, not there.
139
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,880
That's the bit where he pops.
140
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,200
Ah ha!
141
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,240
Here we go, Atticus.
142
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,840
Atticus?
143
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,920
Atticus?
144
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,760
Fine, you win.
145
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:30,800
We'll read your codex.
146
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:35,280
It's fun to get lost in the story,
isn't it, Mummy?
147
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,920
So that codex led to books.
148
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,520
All of which had to be
written out by hand
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00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,720
until one of the most important
inventions of all time
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00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,440
nearly 600 years ago.
151
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,040
And this one really did
change the world.
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00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,680
Yippee!
153
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,600
HE SPEAKS LATIN
154
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,280
Oh.
155
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,800
Holy Father, who art in Heaven,
156
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,760
I'm so sorry for ruining another
page of your blessed word.
157
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,640
Tired of writing the whole Bible
out by hand?
158
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,680
Is that you, God?
159
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,320
The next best thing.
160
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,760
I'm Johannes Gutenberg, and this
is my all-new printed Bible.
161
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,440
Ooo.
162
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,000
The world's first
mass-produced Bible.
163
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,920
180 copies from press to pew,
before you can say Jehoshaphat.
164
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,480
All your favourite stories, from
Adam and Eve, to the end of days.
165
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:38,880
Printed in clear, readable Latin
on paper or luxury cow skin.
166
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,960
It's a miracle.
167
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,880
No, monk. It's moveable type.
168
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,160
Simply arrange the letters
on the metal block
169
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,920
to create the word or phrase
you require and print.
170
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,360
And print.
171
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,120
And print again!
No more fiddly quills.
172
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,640
No more bad back.
173
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,000
No more careless spelling, please.
174
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,560
Thanks, Gutenberg!
Well not so fast, monk.
175
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:07,040
Don't thank me. Because with
the Gutenberg Bible,
176
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,520
you're out of work.
177
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,280
The new moveable type.
178
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,640
Taking the monkey business out of...
179
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,400
Hey. And again.
180
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,560
That's going to go in someone's eye.
181
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,160
Boo ya! Oh. Great, that got in my
eye, are you happy?
182
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,240
Jehoshaphat!
183
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,720
Those stairs are killing me.
184
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,960
There has got to be an easier way.
185
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,440
I can't make any sense of this book
you've written, Ishmael.
186
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,840
It's just a list of words.
187
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,440
That's because it's a dictionary.
188
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,080
What's a dictionary?
189
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,920
Look it up.
190
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,600
Oh, dictionary, a book that gives
the correct definition of words.
191
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,760
Oh, I see. Very original.
192
00:08:53,760 --> 00:09:00,520
Of course it's original - I, Ishmael
al Jawhari, am a great pioneer.
193
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,960
Pioneer, what's... Oh no,
don't tell me, look it up.
194
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,800
Ah, one who achieves or
discovers something
195
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,320
for the first time. Indeed.
196
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,960
Yesterday was the dictionary,
today I'm master human aviation.
197
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,160
Aviation?
198
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,240
Right, OK.
199
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,480
Just bear with me.
200
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,960
Aviation, the science of flight.
201
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,920
Give me another.
202
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,560
AHHHHHH!
203
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,720
Ahhhhhh? OK, that will be somewhere
near the beginning.
204
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:36,880
HE CONTINUES TO SCREAM
205
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,560
No, no, it's not here.
206
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,760
Splat. Right.
207
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,120
OK. Oh, yes, that's here.
208
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:51,000
The sound made by a soft object on
impact with a hard surface.
209
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,800
Oh. This book's great, Ishmael.
210
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,440
Ishmael?
211
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,400
It's true Ishmael al Jawhari
invented the Arabic dictionary
212
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,520
then died trying to invent
human flight.
213
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,800
It just shows how
important planning is.
214
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,600
That's why I've created blueprints
for my new invention.
215
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:16,160
Unfortunately, they're blue cheese
prints and they are delicious.
216
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,360
Oh, well, back to the drawing board.
217
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,200
Or the cheese board, more like!
218
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,400
Ha, ha, ha.
219
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,120
Maybe I can get some inspiration
from this next ingenious inventor -
220
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,200
he made lots of plans.
221
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,680
Bet they weren't as tasty as mine.
222
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,520
It's a new term and headteacher
Hannah Lawrence
223
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,960
has less than two weeks to turn
around the fortunes of a school
224
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,960
whose latest Ofsted rating
was IMHO, not GR8.
225
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,320
Welcome to Historical Educating.
226
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,000
It's Monday morning, and class 7F
227
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,440
have a new
design-and-technology teacher.
228
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,080
We needed a supply teacher and
Mr da Vinci had a very impressive
229
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:58,280
CV. Leonardo can teach art, music,
geography, hydraulic engineering -
230
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,640
not much call for that one here -
231
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,520
everything apart from
advanced physics.
232
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,480
Oh, and advanced physics.
233
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,800
Good morning, everyone.
234
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,720
ALL: Good morning Mr...
235
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,040
Ic Ni Vad?
236
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,520
It's close. Da Vinci.
237
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,360
But you can call me Leonardo.
238
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,280
Sir, why did you write your
name backwards?
239
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,400
Good question. It's called
mirror writing.
240
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,160
Optics.
241
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,520
You guys know how eyeballs
work, right?
242
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,520
Go on, dissect them.
243
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,360
Get to know them. Paint on them.
244
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,000
Use them as missiles.
245
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,440
Why not?
246
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,040
Who threw this? Ryan.
247
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,200
Ryan, you are a genius.
248
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,720
I am? We're going to make a
full-size version,
249
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,840
strap it to your back and then throw
you from the roof of the school.
250
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,680
No. I might die.
251
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,520
Good point, I don't need
another corpse.
252
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,400
Mr da Vinci is well weird.
253
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,640
OK, time to learn about dissection.
254
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,840
Everybody grab a knife.
255
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,880
He's the best teacher I've ever had.
256
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,080
The headteacher has heard worrying
reports
257
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,400
about Mr da Vinci's
teaching methods.
258
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,560
Sir, there's not enough
space on the whiteboard.
259
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:24,160
OK, everybody, it's time to start
writing on the wall.
260
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,880
It's al fresco time.
261
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,960
So Mr da Vinci is called in to see
the headteacher.
262
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,840
Ciao, Maestra.
263
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:36,280
Mr da Vinci, I'm a little concerned
by some of the work
264
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,880
coming out of your class. I agree,
call that an intestine?
265
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,480
It looks like overcooked linguine.
266
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,760
And you tried to get Ryan Murray to
jump off the school roof?
267
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:49,000
Listen, I'm as disappointed as you
that he pulled out, but
268
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,400
I guess he didn't have the
stomach for it.
269
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,640
Ha-ha. You're fired.
270
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,200
What?
271
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,240
That reminds me...
272
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,800
..it's a three-barrelled cannon.
273
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,360
We made it in Year Seven.
274
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,520
The kids call it the
Big Bang theory.
275
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,320
Ha-ha. Please leave.
276
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,120
Ryan, help me.
277
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,920
Leonardo da Vinci really did design
a flying machine,
278
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,280
but he never got further than
drawing it.
279
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:25,000
It took two incredible brothers from
America to finally create the first
280
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,880
aeroplane. Good day.
281
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,720
BANG!
282
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,240
Needs some work.
283
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:37,520
Jiminy Cricket, Wilbur, I sure
as heck am excited.
284
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,360
Hoo wee. Sure, Orville, me, too.
285
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,080
All that painstaking, good
old-fashioned hard work.
286
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,120
Calculating in wind tunnels,
observing birds in flight,
287
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,160
all leading up to this one glorious
moment when the Wright brothers
288
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,600
accomplish the first manned flight
of an aircraft with an engine.
289
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,000
Am I right, or am I right?
290
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Yeah, well, you must be even
more excited
291
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,440
to be the first one to fly it.
292
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,960
Yea... Wait, what?
293
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,720
Yeah, I think you should fly
it first. Yeah.
294
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,200
I don't know though.
295
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,800
I'm not sure I would be so good.
296
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,440
Too darned excited. I might start
smiling too much,
297
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,160
lose control of the plane. Listen,
I would love to die...
298
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,000
Fly. But I just think you would be
so much better.
299
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:24,040
Well, sure is kind of you to
say, brother, but...
300
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,280
Say, I know what would be a
heap of fun.
301
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,960
Let's flip a coin.
Fine, that sounds fair.
302
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,400
Heads or tails? Tails.
303
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,000
Tails it is.
304
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,480
See, this is so much fun.
305
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:43,920
Best of three? Fine. Tails.
Tails twice in a row, you crazy...
306
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,200
Oh, come on! The coin is rigged.
Orville, that's your lucky coin.
307
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,560
Well, it's a shame I don't gots
my goggles.
308
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,960
Going to my room and getting
them now.
309
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,400
Orville. Yes. Get on the
plane. OK.
310
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,760
UNENTHUSIASTICALLY: Hoo wee!
311
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,200
This is the greatest feeling
in the world.
312
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,840
I don't know what I was so
afraid of.
313
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,840
I'm glad I decided against the
helmet...
314
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,560
No, I am going down.
315
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,000
Hoo wee.
316
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,680
Good evening.
317
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:45,040
I am Charles Babbage, the inventor
and computing pioneer.
318
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,240
And I am Ada Lovelace.
319
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,480
I'm also a computing pioneer
and I've carved out
320
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,280
my own impressive career.
321
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,680
I'm also the daughter of famous poet
and rogue Lord Byron,
322
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,040
but I don't like to talk about that.
323
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,560
Yeah, well... Well, maybe don't
mention it at all, then.
324
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:06,000
Together we helped create one of the
world's first-ever computers.
325
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:10,600
Yes, but inventing can be a
dangerous business.
326
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,600
What was I inventing when I
nearly drowned?
327
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,400
Was it...
328
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,520
The answer is A.
329
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,000
A pair of shoes that could walk
on water.
330
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,920
Except, of course, they couldn't
walk on water, could they?
331
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,200
I also invented a cow catcher to go
on the front of trains.
332
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,280
Moo. Moooo-ve.
333
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,720
Very funny.
334
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,520
Those darned Germans are
pushing us hard.
335
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,760
We need something new to take
the fight back to the Nazis.
336
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,680
Well, this young chap here has come
up with some
337
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,760
new kind of missile technology.
338
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,720
Could be just what we need.
339
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,920
Show us what you've got, son.
340
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,680
Thank you. So my associate and I
have developed a technique
341
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,280
to prevent the enemy from jamming
the radio signals on our torpedoes.
342
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,520
You know who you look like?
343
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,720
I'm sorry. That famous Hollywood
actress - what's her name?
344
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,600
Hedy Lamarr. Yeah. Yes, I am she.
345
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,720
No way!
346
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,760
Oh, man! He likes you.
347
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,440
No, I don't! Yes, you do,
don't be shy.
348
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,800
I like you. Me, too.
349
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,120
Most flattering.
Anyway, back to my invention.
350
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,000
The problem with the
existing torpedoes...
351
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah, why are
you doing that accent?
352
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,600
I was born in Austria.
353
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,360
But I'm here because I have invented
something that might help us
354
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,760
win the war.
Are we in a movie right now?
355
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,880
No. Unless you would like to be in a
movie called How We Lost The War,
356
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,800
I recommend you listen.
357
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,280
The frequency-hopping secret
communication system I propose...
358
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,920
I think I might propose in a minute.
359
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,480
Me, too.
360
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,920
Will you please listen?
361
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,240
The frequency of the signal
constantly changes so that...
362
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,960
It's incredible, I almost believe
you actually know
363
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,520
what you're talking about.
I do know what I'm talking about.
364
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,920
Diva alert!
365
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,320
Gentleman, you are imbeciles.
366
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,720
Good day. Miss Lamarr.
367
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,680
Do you think I could be an actor?
368
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,960
That's a yes. Great exit.
369
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,360
It's true Hedy Lamarr really was a
famous movie star
370
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:39,240
and inventor and her plans
eventually led to the creation
371
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:44,040
of Wi-Fi which of course we all use
today. Top work, Hedy.
372
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,000
And look, I've managed to redraw
the blueprints.
373
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,880
I ran out of blue cheese,
I've had to use Swiss.
374
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,480
Mustn't eat it. Mustn't eat it.
375
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,520
You know, there's another famous
invention we all eat,
376
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,440
and it came about in a rather
unexpected way.
377
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,400
Oh, who am I kidding?
378
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,080
Good evening.
George Crumb, the chef,
379
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:10,360
I hope everything was satisfactory.
380
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,720
Oh, the fish was divine.
381
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,160
And this cherry pie was to die for.
382
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,920
It was perfect. Thank you.
383
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,880
Thank you.
384
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,400
If I can make one
teeny-weeny suggestion?
385
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:22,800
What?
386
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:29,040
I was wondering whether you could
make your French fries
387
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,280
a little thinner?
388
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,880
These were a little bit thick
for my liking.
389
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,600
Thick? A tiny bit.
390
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,480
Yeah, sure.
391
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,440
I mean, they are gargantuan,
aren't they?
392
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,440
They're so big, I wonder how you
could fit them in your mouth
393
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,000
without your head falling open.
394
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,240
Look, you can barely see it
from one side to the other.
395
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:53,160
It's way too big to fit in your tiny
little mouse mouth!
396
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,040
Well, I was just wondering if you
could cut them a little thinner,
397
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,360
that's all. Oh, his Lordship,
the king of Saratoga Lake,
398
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,600
wants them thinner, then?
399
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,840
I'll give you thinner!
400
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,960
What? I just...
401
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,640
There, is that thin enough for you?
402
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,720
Now you are just being silly.
403
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,960
No, nothing is too much for the
potato police.
404
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,600
I told you not to mention
the French fries.
405
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,920
I was very restrained.
406
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,760
Every time we go anywhere.
407
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,000
There, there you go.
408
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,040
There you go.
409
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,120
Tuck in!
410
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,760
Is this thin enough for you?
411
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,600
Oh, dear, you can't
see through that?
412
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,520
Maybe I should shave a little off
the top for Count Skinny Chip.
413
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,120
These extra-thin French fries
are delicious.
414
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,480
They're so...
415
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,920
so crisp.
416
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,200
You should patent these.
You could make some money.
417
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,480
Sure, I'll get down to the patent
office right away.
418
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,320
I'm sure I'll make a fortune out of
some deep-fried slivers of potato
419
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,280
crisps. That will catch on!
420
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,120
It's a good job we didn't tell him
the soup wasn't very hot.
421
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,720
Why, I oughta ...
422
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:10,760
DISHES SMASHING
423
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,920
Hey, I'm Alexander
Graham Bell.
424
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,760
And I want you to meet myPhone.
425
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,920
myPhone is a new device that lets
you talk to someone
426
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,640
even when they are not in
the same room.
427
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,440
As long as they are in the
room next door.
428
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:29,400
Mr Watson, get in here,
want to speak to you!
429
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,040
What? myPhone is the most powerful,
430
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,040
compact lightweight phone
ever invented.
431
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,720
Because it's the only
phone ever invented.
432
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,960
I wish you never had invented that
stupid thing.
433
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,960
What's that? It's not just
for calls -
434
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,680
use myPhone to find out what the
weather is doing.
435
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,600
Hey, what is the weather doing,
then?
436
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,320
I don't know.
437
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,400
Enjoy the latest music.
438
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,560
Be quiet!
439
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,080
Play online games.
440
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,880
Queen to King four. Check.
441
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,720
I am trying to work!
442
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,240
It's great in an emergency.
443
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,040
Watson, my house is on fire!
444
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,960
I wish it was, stop calling me.
445
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,640
And that's not all myPhone can do.
446
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,960
Actually, no, that is pretty much
all it can do.
447
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,640
I thought of something else it does.
448
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:26,680
Yeah?
449
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,840
New myPhone - now it's mobile, too!
450
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,280
It's 1926 and all over,
451
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,800
people are settling down in front of
a brand-new invention that has just
452
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,160
arrived in everyone's living room.
453
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,640
What are we watching here?
454
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,040
I don't know, I've never seen
anything like it.
455
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,560
I like it. I can see my
reflection in it.
456
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,640
Does it do anything else?
457
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,680
This year, viewers got to see
the very first television set.
458
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,480
I don't see the point of it, mate.
459
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,960
I think you're meant to
flick that switch.
460
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,680
Oh. Oh.
461
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,360
Look, there's a picture coming up
on the glass bit.
462
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,160
One of the first things to
be shown on television
463
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,000
was a creepy ventriloquist
dummy called Stooky Bill.
464
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,640
It's like a weird ugly face.
465
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,000
You sure that's not still
your reflection?
466
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,640
Television was the brainchild of a
Scottish engineer
467
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,120
called John Logie Baird.
468
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:35,360
I have got lots of other
inventions, too.
469
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,840
The socks that go under your socks.
470
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,800
My pneumatic shoes are pretty great.
471
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,320
That brung him down a peg or two.
472
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,880
Yeah. And of course,
artificial diamonds.
473
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,600
I love diamonds, man.
474
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,480
They are pretty energy intensive.
475
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,960
Turn up the generator.
476
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,000
Higher.
477
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,520
Glad that has happened.
Rubbish, this television.
478
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:05,080
See if you can get it working
again, pet.
479
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,520
From the wheel, to the printing
press, to television -
480
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,720
you humans have come up with some
pretty incredible inventions,
481
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,840
and all it has taken is hard work
and ingenuity.
482
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,080
And that is why I have come up
with this...
483
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,880
A sofa.
484
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,360
Because all that inventing sounds
like too much hard work
485
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:31,640
and ingenuity, and I am going to
need to sit down.
486
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,320
So many inventions, it's exhausting.
487
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,800
Sorry. I hit him in the face.
I'm glad that that's not...
488
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,600
That's happened.
489
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,160
LAUGHTER
490
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,800
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
491
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:08,640
♪ Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories. ♪
492
00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:13,240
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