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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,464 Geez, how late is fotoma open ? 2 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:34,435 ( Laughing ) 3 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,304 ( Male ) i do wanna thank you all for your Patience, 4 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:39,140 we are now obviously ready to go. 5 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,574 I'm Howard stringer, 6 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,111 and, as president of CBS entertainment, 7 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:46,614 it is my singular pleasure, and a great moment for us, 8 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,650 to be able to bring this great star to CBS, 9 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,419 David letterman ! 10 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,321 ( Applause ) 11 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,156 I never dated Amy Fisher ! 12 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,126 I fixed her car, i helped her with her homework, 13 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,129 and, that's all, alright, thank you. 14 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,164 Alright, I'll take some questions, 15 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,366 and, then, Colin Powell will be in here, 16 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,767 and update you on the bombing. 17 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,203 ( Laughing ) 18 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,406 I do wanna thank CBS for their support, 19 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,243 and, of course, for their generosity, 20 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,345 I mean, wow, this is a deal, 21 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,347 that would put a smile on Jack Benny's face, 22 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:23,384 and that's in the condition he's in right now ! 23 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,653 Does g.E. Make the best managers for a television network ? 24 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,355 ( Clears throat loudly ) 25 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,428 What was the question ? 26 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,697 Oh, yeah, no, you know, i don't know about that, 27 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:40,334 but, they make a darn fine toaster oven. 28 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:43,304 ( "Say hello say good-bye" instrumental ) 29 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,843 C'mon, Paul, we gotta do a show. 30 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,946 Dave, I have a terrible case of the hiccups. 31 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,715 You tried holding your breath ? everything. 32 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,417 I got an idea, hold on. 33 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:31,919 What are you doing ? 34 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,921 Just put that on your head there, 35 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,489 breathe normally, there, Paul. 36 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,458 Okay. 37 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,859 ( Hiccuping ) I'm breathin'. 38 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,796 ( Laughter ) 39 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,466 How was that, you feel any better ? 40 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,737 ( Hiccups ) 41 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,439 Oh, gosh. 42 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,774 Sorry... 43 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,909 Must've been something I ate. 44 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,745 ( Applause ) 45 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,514 ( Male ) it's bloody marvelous. 46 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,784 ( Male on t.V. ) The tonight show, Johnny's guest host tonight is, 47 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,253 Jay leno ! 48 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,454 Ladies and gentlemen, 49 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,322 Jay-y-y leno ! 50 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,891 ( Applause ) 51 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,464 Thank you ! 52 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,865 Thank you ! 53 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,533 Wonderful, wonderful, that's nice to hear, 54 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,968 now, did you all see in the paper, 55 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,936 there's a survey that says that you're safer, 56 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,573 and, now this is true, you're safer, 57 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,975 on an airplane than you are in your own bathroom. 58 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,511 Do you believe that ? do you think that's true ? 59 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,646 I don't know, I've never slipped on the toilet seat, 60 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,882 and fallen 35,000 feet ! 61 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,786 I mean, I never adjusted the shower rod, 62 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,755 and had a fire ball come out and incinerate me. 63 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:47,295 So, why can't we just throw money at one of them ? 64 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,829 What sort of offer do you have in mind ? 65 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,564 What does it matter ? 66 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,901 "Late night's" making $70 million a year for nbc. 67 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,569 Where's our bloody piece ? 68 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,405 That would have been Mr. sajak. 69 00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,274 Oh, Christ, what a disaster. 70 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,842 He's got a lock on every blue-haired old biddy, 71 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,043 who ever watched "wheel of fortune". 72 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,645 Do you know how many of our stations, 73 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,280 are canceling him for arsenio ? 74 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,549 It's like they're canceling him before we can. 75 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:12,720 Look at these fucking numbers when leno fills in for Carson. 76 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,388 And letterman. 77 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,757 Nbc has him signed through '93. 78 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,593 Well, what about leno ? 79 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,795 Nbc only has a one-year holding deal with Jay. 80 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,731 That's nothing, he could be ripe. 81 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,734 So let's steal him ! 82 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,037 We can give him a show now, for christssakes. 83 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:33,374 I'll push sajak over a cliff if we can get leno. 84 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,608 They might fight for him. 85 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,410 Let them. 86 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,946 They can't fight equally for leno and letterman. 87 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,316 They're not gonna offer both, Carson's spot when he retires. 88 00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,017 This is the best opportunity we've ever had, 89 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,688 to break nbc's strangle-hold on late night. 90 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,490 Okay, Howard. 91 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,058 Let's go stir something up. 92 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,993 And, you know, we can knock it out, 93 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,762 in one fell swoop. 94 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,097 Oh ! 95 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,501 Oh, bouncy up here ! 96 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,636 We gotta do a commercial here, boys and girls, 97 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,373 we'll be right back with more Sandra bernhard. 98 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,341 ( Cheers and applause ) 99 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,011 I'm havin' a blast, 100 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,680 thanks for havin' me back on Dave. 101 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,415 How you doin' ? 102 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,019 What do you want the number of my therapist ? 103 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,524 You should be thrilled with your life. 104 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,730 It wasn't that bad, Dave. 105 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,365 Okay, we had a little trouble with the first bit, 106 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,066 but Sandra was good, and you were good with her. 107 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,802 I sucked, morty, 108 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,004 and the whole show sucked because I sucked. 109 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,939 I don't belong on network television, 110 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,941 I belong in muncie, driving gravel. 111 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,443 You got great laughs. 112 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,378 Oh, bullshit, if that audience was any deader, 113 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:45,579 there'd be guys in lab coats, 114 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,948 going through harvesting organs. 115 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,884 Those dorks at nbc probably steered in the crowd, 116 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,820 waiting in line for donahue, by mistake. 117 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,121 It's their way of sending a message. 118 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,557 What message ? the message, 119 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,859 giving Jay the job as permanent guest host for Johnny. 120 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,093 They didn't make him guest host to mess with you. 121 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,029 They do everything to mess with me. 122 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:05,165 Renting out our studio in the morning, to Maury povich ?! 123 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,067 Laurie, I need some coffee. Great show. 124 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,636 Yeah. 125 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,472 I mean, when are we supposed to rehearse ? 126 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,474 Am I supposed to move my camera around a bunch of bald women, 127 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,175 with eating disorders ? 128 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,077 We won't let that happen, Dave. We'll do something about it. 129 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,480 Gosh, morty, I know, we could boycott the show. 130 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,782 They'll probably use that as an excuse to fire me. 131 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,684 ( Morty ) oh, come on, Dave. 132 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,885 I fucked up number six-- 133 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,554 no, you didn't. 134 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,155 It was the only decent joke in the whole fucking show-- 135 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,823 it was funny ! 136 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,025 It was funny, I wasn't. Let me see the tape. 137 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,427 Take a breather ! 138 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,695 Give me the fuckin' tape. 139 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,201 ( Dave ) oh, man, 140 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,004 oh, for chrissake's ! 141 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,006 Jesus, do I suck ! 142 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,576 Oh, that's good, 143 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,143 I should've jumped in right there ! 144 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,979 ( Loud crash ) 145 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,582 ( Female ) listen, you cheap, fuckin' bastard, 146 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,550 it's one lousy table, $10,000 ! 147 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,751 That's chump change ! 148 00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,687 ( Male ) that's extortion, Helen. 149 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,221 It's not extortion, it's charity, for god's sake. 150 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,223 It's for pediatric aids. 151 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,958 You selfish prick ! 152 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,495 ( Male ) don't flatter me ! put me down for two. 153 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,196 ( Female ) what ? two tables. 154 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,765 You are such a mensch ! 155 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,767 Yes, I still love you. 156 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,536 See, that didn't hurt very bad. 157 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:16,737 So, we can have dinner, honey. 158 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,238 I gotta go, 159 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,673 I gotta go, Jay's here. 160 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,208 Bye. 161 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,977 ( Laughing ) 162 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,913 How ya doin' ? here's your tickets. 163 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,581 Where am I going this time ? 164 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:30,217 Come, I'll walk you to the car. 165 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,085 That's mine. 166 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,487 I gotta know my future. 167 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,155 I know your future, follow me ! 168 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,958 ( Female ) you're playing "joe laffs" in green bay, Friday. 169 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,193 The nbc affiliate is w.L.U.K. 170 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,995 Good luck, huh ? 171 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,197 I'm getting you in just in time to do the noon news. 172 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,233 That's good, I'm sure there's a lot of people, 173 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,901 watching the noon news in green bay. 174 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,603 Don't give me shit. 175 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,204 Those local stations are gonna get you "the tonight show". 176 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,040 Here, I wanna show you somethin' look at this. 177 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,909 Not another goddamn motorcycle, i don't have the time. 178 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,177 Helen, hold on. 179 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,179 Take a second, look at this motorcycle. 180 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,114 "To j. L., 181 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,518 crank it on up and ride over to CBS forever." 182 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,654 It's a rare bike, do you what this cost them ? 183 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,221 No, I don't know what it cost, 184 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,723 but, I know what it means. 185 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,597 Hi. hello. 186 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,533 Table for two ? please. 187 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,769 Are you sure this is the place for a good corned beef sandwich ? 188 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:22,936 Yeah. 189 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,107 She wanted discreet. 190 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,910 I don't think anybody from nbc will be dropping-- 191 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,111 oh, Jesus. 192 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,713 What ? 193 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,147 Arnie kleiner from Paramount, 194 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,616 just walked in with some other guy. 195 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,253 Will they know Helen ? 196 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,022 Here she comes. 197 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,826 You said we'd have privacy here, 198 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,796 I just saw Arnie kleiner in the corner downing a thai beer. 199 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,831 Oh my god, Howard stringer. 200 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,933 A pleasure to meet you, Helen. 201 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,769 Rod said we'd just talk a little business over lunch, 202 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,337 this looks like a little more than lunch. 203 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,972 Of course it is, 204 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,642 we wouldn't wanna waste your valued time. 205 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,243 Alright... 206 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:06,246 Now, we think the world of Jay. 207 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,649 We've noticed what he's been doing filling in for Carson, 208 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:11,351 and we think he's ready to be a star, right now. 209 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:15,155 And, we have something no one else can offer him. 210 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,124 11:30, wide open. 211 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,293 Holy shit, 212 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,696 a deal memo, already ? 213 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,132 You guys are serious. 214 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,936 Here, you take this, i don't wanna hold on to this. 215 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,171 You can give Jay the details without the paper if you prefer. 216 00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:35,142 The show opens in September, he'll get six million to start. 217 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,810 How does that sound ? 218 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,345 Six million ? 219 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,814 Yeah, alright, I'm impressed. 220 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,850 But, uh, we may be rushing this a little bit. 221 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,619 Jay's a loyal puppy, he's got a thing for "the tonight show", 222 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,254 like every other comic in America. 223 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,922 Of course. 224 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,223 But, isn't he still third in that line, 225 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,659 behind Carson and letterman ? 226 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,193 No, I wouldn't say that. 227 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,028 But, I would say that we have some reason, 228 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,631 to feel a little impatient with where we are. 229 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,667 And I'll admit it to you, Howard, 230 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,368 I love this offer. 231 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,370 I'm sure you do, Helen. 232 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,075 Compliments of Mr. kleiner. 233 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,166 This feels like the late night dmz. 234 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,202 Does that make me Nixon ? 235 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,137 I guess I'm kissinger. 236 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,740 With you negotiating, that war would've gone nuclear. 237 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:43,176 At least in this war we control all the weapons. 238 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,812 We hope. 239 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,313 Hey, mort, how ya doin' ? good to see ya. 240 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,883 ( Male ) hey, Warren, 241 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,085 we got Howard stringer humping leno's leg. 242 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,054 What are we gonna tell the g.E. Guys if we lose him ? 243 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,355 My dog ate my late night host ? 244 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,925 I may. 245 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,060 Helen needs a stroking. 246 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,698 Jay, 247 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:07,701 I hear Howard stringer wants to take you to Bermuda, for a romantic weekend. 248 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,739 Helen. hi, how are ya ? 249 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,473 Jay, honey, it's time to go get your makeup on, 250 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,108 your spot starts in 30 minutes. 251 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:18,178 Manger and network need to be alone, I can take a hint. 252 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,147 Brandon, watch your wallet. 253 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,418 Hey, David ! 254 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:26,954 Oh, hey, Jay, how ya doin' ? 255 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,155 How ya doin' ? 256 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,724 Good. what's goin' on ? 257 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,292 Listen, how's nbc treating you ? 258 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,294 Good, you know, i mean, okay, I guess. 259 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,264 Hey, I saw that show the other day with Sandra bernhard, 260 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,299 it was great, c'mon, it was great. 261 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,169 You don't know what you're talkin' about, it was so funny. 262 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,137 I know morty's down there, i wanna talk to morty. 263 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,139 Hey, are you guys gonna stay around ? 264 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,141 No, we gotta take the "red-eye" back. 265 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,376 I hate the "red-eye". 266 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,845 Listen, Jay, 267 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,281 we'll have morty call ya, we'll book you on the show. 268 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,784 When you're not filling in for Johnny. 269 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,185 You know me, I'm always ready, whatever, 270 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,519 as long as it's okay with Helen. 271 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,489 Ah, right, of course. 272 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,758 We'll have morty call Helen, and do it that way. 273 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,293 I'll talk to you later. 274 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,928 Alright, oh, listen, Jay, 275 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,129 call morty, alright ? 276 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,831 Yeah, tell him to call Helen. 277 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,232 Alrighty. 278 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,234 Good to see ya. 279 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,435 ( Helen ) i gotta tell ya, 280 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,871 I got a hell of an offer from CBS. 281 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,407 I don't know, I mean, Jay wants to stay, 282 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,342 and take over when Carson steps down, 283 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,411 but, Brandon, i need a commitment. 284 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,781 Helen, you're as subtle as a knee to the groin. 285 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,450 I didn't hear the words "tonight show" in there anywhere 286 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,119 what are you saying ? 287 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,054 You want us to bounce Johnny, now ? 288 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,357 You wanna deprive him of reaching his 30th anniversary ? 289 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,060 Just lookin' to protect my guy. 290 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:44,364 Look at her workin' Brandon, is she shameless or what ? 291 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:48,068 I don't see any reason, why you shouldn't say hello to Brandon. 292 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,336 Oh, for god's sake. 293 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,238 Now's your chance to let somebody know, 294 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,472 that you want "the tonight show". 295 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,007 Let's wave him over. 296 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:57,044 Jesus, you don't "wave" heads of networks, 297 00:12:57,077 --> 00:13:00,513 you wave waiters and hookers... 298 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,982 Brandon. 299 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,018 Good lord, 300 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,287 how can a television show be worth this much embarrassment ? 301 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,122 Hey, David ! hey Brandon. 302 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,058 David, I think I heard them call your category, 303 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,194 but don't worry, littlefield ran in to accept for you. 304 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,996 Johnny sends his regards, Brandon. 305 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,098 Oh, thank you, Peter, too bad he couldn't come, 306 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,267 then I could have been photographed with all our late night stars, 307 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,236 before they all start filing for free agency. 308 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,408 David... 309 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,043 I know you want the job as much as Jay. 310 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,378 Listen, Brandon, 311 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,413 I'm not campaigning for anything. 312 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,248 I'm not saying you are. 313 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:38,518 I just want you to know that we haven't forgotten you. 314 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,620 Well, that's uh, 315 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,122 that's good to hear, Brandon, thanks. 316 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,456 Sure. 317 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,359 I was in New York in July, 318 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,961 and I stopped by to see you, 319 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,330 but Laurie said you were in rehearsal-- 320 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,333 no, actually, I was locked in my office, sobbing. 321 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,935 I'm sorry about that. 322 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,171 I'll try not to be an anti-social jerk next time. 323 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,873 And, Brandon, listen, 324 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,975 I really do appreciate it. 325 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,844 Sure Dave, good luck ? 326 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,385 I feel like a daddy who's just gotten all his children to bed. 327 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,894 ( Helen ) Brandon, you shit. 328 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,630 We have to talk. 329 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,266 Helen, I'm running through a contract negotiation, 330 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,968 with the guys from "cheers". 331 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,137 Listen, I've had it with this runaround. 332 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,505 You don't get by with verbal assurances anymore. 333 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,008 See, I had a verbal commitment from Brandon a year ago, 334 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,509 now, he's gone to Paramount. 335 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,279 You I'm not so fond of, John, no offense, 336 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,614 you think you can pull the same manipulative shit with me, 337 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,483 you try on everybody else in this town. 338 00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,519 But you fuck with me and I'll fuck you back good. 339 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,455 I don't have a contract with you. 340 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,390 I can move Jay to CBS within a month. 341 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,426 That would leave you with Carson, and his retirement-home audience. 342 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,662 So let's cut the shit, shall we ? 343 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,364 Helen, this is just been a busy period. 344 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,565 These things take time. 345 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,667 You're not listening, asshole ! 346 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,170 I don't wanna hear about time, i want a piece of paper. 347 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,605 I don't know when Carson's gonna get the fucking message, and quit. 348 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,941 I want Jay signed. 349 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,576 Helen, I hear you. 350 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,078 Believe me. 351 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,246 Let me see what I can do, give me one week ? 352 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,282 A week's seven days, John. 353 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,084 Trust me, I can count. 354 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,551 Right. 355 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,041 Jesus Christ. 356 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,478 Oh, man. 357 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,983 Hey, morty. Have you seen this ? 358 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,221 Jesus Christ. What the hell is this ? 359 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:57,057 From what I can tell, there's no source for it. 360 00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,727 ( Dave ) what's this mean, now, morty ? 361 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,162 It means nothing, 362 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,596 it means Helen got on the phone. 363 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,332 This has to be Helen. 364 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,734 Yeah, but, would nbc treat Johnny this way ? 365 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,170 This is ridiculous. 366 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,339 I can't believe this would've happened if Brandon hadn't gone to Paramount, 367 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,107 he had some control. 368 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,209 Helen wouldn't dare pull this shit when Brandon was there. 369 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,412 Maybe this is all nbc, their way of dealing Jay in. 370 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,248 No, don't assume these assholes have a plan. 371 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,250 It's the New York post, for god's sake. 372 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:26,353 What's that mean ? it's not nbc's style. 373 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,021 Alright. 374 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:31,591 Let's see how these guys weasel out of this one. 375 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,126 ( Female ) we have to control the rumors. 376 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,295 "We have to control the rumors" ? 377 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,297 You have to control the rumors. 378 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,466 So, how do we word the release ? 379 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,469 Maybe we should just talk about the network's, huge debt to Johnny. 380 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,171 No words like, 381 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,605 "and we hope the king will reign, for many years to come ?" 382 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,040 No ! 383 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,478 Okay. 384 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,679 Helen's work, right ? 385 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,282 What do you think ? 386 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,417 ( Helen ) it probably came from the Carson people. 387 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,319 They know they're in trouble. 388 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,154 They're tryin' to screw you by leakin' a story, 389 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,689 they wanna make you look so fuckin' eager, 390 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,324 you'll do anything to get the job. 391 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,127 I guess that makes sense, 392 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,761 I'm just worried about Johnny. 393 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,730 What are you worried about him for, he doesn't worry about you. 394 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,365 I don't know, that's the problem, 395 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,733 I don't think he really likes me. 396 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,069 There you go with that "like" shit again, 397 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,105 what the hell difference does it make, whether Carson likes you or not ? 398 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,673 I mean, he's not pickin' his successor, nbc is. 399 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,609 Oh, you don't think they'll give him a vote ? 400 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,211 No, I don't ! 401 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,412 Would you leave the campaigning to me, 402 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,580 go, do your fuckin' jokes. 403 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,283 I wanna be able to swear to Johnny this didn't come from us. 404 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,319 So, go ahead and swear. 405 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,659 ( Johnny ) hello. 406 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,361 Johnny, hey, it's Jay. 407 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,463 Jay ? yeah, how ya doin' ? 408 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,366 Look, I just wanted to talk to you, 409 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,301 about this rotten article in the post, 410 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,503 I just wanted to tell you, to make it clear to you, 411 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:54,407 that it didn't come from us. 412 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:57,244 Actually, you've been the g.E. Employee of the week, 413 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,511 haven't you, there, Paul ? 414 00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:01,248 Gee, Dave, I guess i missed out on that one. 415 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,252 Well, it's quite an honor, Paul, 416 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,287 kids, why don't we find out, 417 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,124 who the g.E. Employee of the week is, this week. 418 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,593 Right here, on our show, 419 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:17,430 we can reveal the name of the g.E. Employee of the week. 420 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,831 Anton, can we have a-- 421 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,233 ( drum roll ) 422 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,734 There we go. 423 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,636 Let's see who it is this week, huh, Paul ? 424 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:26,606 Warren littlefield and John agoglia. 425 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,846 Well, this is the reason i went into television. 426 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,318 So my family can see me being insulted in front of 4 million people. 427 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,153 He's got the microphone, 428 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,388 and we're helpless. 429 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,490 Forget about it. 430 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,326 I've been looking through these rating charts you sent me. 431 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,162 ( Warren ) you know how well Jay is doing. 432 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,664 Yeah... 433 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:55,502 Prime time revenues are next to nothing. 434 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,571 I'm thinking about all the money we've got, riding on "late night". 435 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,773 The last thing we need is a problem there. 436 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,709 Well, we've already got one. 437 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,377 Helen kushnick, 438 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,246 the woman's forcing the issue. 439 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,581 So far we've been able to keep her in line, 440 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:09,882 with verbal assurances, 441 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,319 leno's in line for "the tonight show", 442 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,387 plus we've committed serious money, 443 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,922 if leno doesn't get the show, 444 00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,424 two, three million. 445 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,726 But she'll forfeit the money and go to CBS. 446 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,229 And that could be a disaster for us. 447 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,896 We've still got Carson and letterman. 448 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,766 A lot of people believe that leno, 449 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,868 is the hottest talent in television. 450 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,471 It would be a major mistake to lose Jay now, 451 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,908 especially, since Johnny doesn't have that long to go. 452 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,645 John has never said one word to me about quitting. 453 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,482 Well, it may get to the point, where we can't wait any longer. 454 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,252 You wanna get rid of Johnny Carson ? 455 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,487 His ratings are softening. 456 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,256 Arsenio's got the younger viewers. 457 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,525 That's where the money is. 458 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,228 We've gotta make sure the future is secure. 459 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,664 If we give Jay a firm deal now, 460 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,332 give him a contract, 461 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,768 that guarantees him the show whenever Johnny leaves, 462 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,903 I think he and Helen would go for it. 463 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,806 Yeah, but, where does that leave us with letterman ? 464 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,909 He can't go anywhere. We've got him for two more years. 465 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,846 And letterman's never once asked us to guarantee him the show, if Johnny quits. 466 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,682 Dave is still our 12:30 guy. 467 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,917 We'll make sure he stays there, all we need to do now, 468 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:22,322 is get Jay signed, keep him off CBS. 469 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,991 And, this should stay between us, 470 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,560 Helen and Jay. 471 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,797 Carson doesn't have to know, letterman doesn't have to know, 472 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:31,998 it never makes the papers. 473 00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,434 That is essential. 474 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,902 I don't want anybody writing 475 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,971 that nbc is pushing Johnny Carson out the door. 476 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,642 I want this handled very carefully. 477 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,283 John and I are friends. 478 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:53,286 But we've gotta have "late night" locked up. 479 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,055 If that means a deal for leno... 480 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,790 Let's do it. 481 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,998 ( Male ) Jay is the host, 482 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:09,502 the first week night after Carson's last show. 483 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,771 Helen is the executive producer. 484 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:15,442 Nbc productions owns the show, 485 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,877 now, of course, no word of this, 486 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,346 leaves this room. 487 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,981 No. 488 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,983 Oh... 489 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:29,389 Helen gets this fat check. 490 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,591 I think you could say this is the impossible dream, 491 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,494 coming true for two people, huh ? 492 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,829 I think, Helen, they've got us where they want us. 493 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:38,431 Well, you see, 494 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,333 I would've said it the other way around. 495 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,736 ( Laughing ) 496 00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:50,810 Let's give a big hand, 497 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:53,346 for the stars of our 1992 fall line-up. 498 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,348 ( Applause ) 499 00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:04,757 Well, you've seen... 500 00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:07,460 The new programs for our fall season, 501 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,928 and, I hope our affiliates, 502 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,063 and our friends in the advertising community agree, 503 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,965 we've put new life into prime time, 504 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:16,403 and, now the last surprise of the day, 505 00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:17,637 ladies and gentlemen, 506 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,539 the king of late night television, 507 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:23,610 soon to begin his 30th year at nbc, 508 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,379 heeeeeeeere's Johnny ! 509 00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,615 ( Applause ) 510 00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:43,796 Thank you. 511 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,665 That's very nice of you. 512 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,135 Gee, what a fast-paced afternoon. 513 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:51,671 You folks must be just short of coma. 514 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,441 ( Laughter ) 515 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,577 You know, I always get a little awestruck, 516 00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:01,848 to think of the great men who've graced this stage, 517 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,650 jascha heifitz, 518 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,151 Vladimir horowitz, 519 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,053 and today... 520 00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:08,788 Warren littlefield. 521 00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:11,858 ( Laughter ) 522 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,093 Kind of knocks the hell out of Darwin's theory, 523 00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:15,762 doesn't it ? 524 00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,597 ( Laughter ) 525 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:19,666 ( Johnny ) Jay leno, 526 00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,534 who's now the guest host on our show, 527 00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:24,537 is driving me nuts backstage, 528 00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:25,738 "how're you feeling ?" 529 00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,674 "Your thyroid okay ?" 530 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:31,210 You know, I like Jay, and he is very concerned about my health. 531 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:34,213 In fact, he suggested I take a run through central park, 532 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,749 about midnight tonight. 533 00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:41,888 Anyway, I know it's been a long afternoon, 534 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:45,157 I just wanna say, this is the last year, 535 00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:47,860 that I'm doing "the tonight show". 536 00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:49,962 What did he just say about this being the last year ? 537 00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:51,864 I don't know. 538 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:55,201 But, my last show is gonna be one year from now, 539 00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:58,671 may the 22nd, 1992. 540 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:03,643 I just wanna thank you, 541 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,011 I am very grateful... 542 00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:10,116 And, I bid you, good-bye. 543 00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:13,553 ( Applause ) 544 00:24:16,856 --> 00:24:18,090 This is real. 545 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,560 I just said it, the world heard me. 546 00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,495 It's real. 547 00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:24,130 Great tie, Bob, terrific. 548 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:27,934 Did you know about this, John ? 549 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,702 Mr. littlefield, can i just ask a question ? 550 00:24:29,736 --> 00:24:33,205 I would like to thank you, Johnny, 551 00:24:33,239 --> 00:24:35,542 and, thank you for coming, 552 00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:39,579 and the bathrooms are down the hall and to the right. 553 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,014 ( Crowd yelling ) 554 00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:44,617 Warren, what is going on ? 555 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:45,852 I had no goddamn idea-- 556 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,621 we have no release prepared, nothing. 557 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,122 Betty, why don't you-- 558 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,693 the press is going to fry us like bacon strips. 559 00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:56,195 ... the advertises and the world with our asses hanging out. 560 00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:57,597 He didn't say a word to me. 561 00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:00,066 Who gets "the tonight show" ? 562 00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:02,802 I'm not gonna answer any questions right now. 563 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,203 Is it leno or letterman ? 564 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:05,638 ( Yells ) 565 00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:07,540 Stay tuned, everybody, stay tuned. 566 00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:09,676 Thanks, bye. 567 00:25:12,579 --> 00:25:13,846 Mr. leno ? 568 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,548 There's a phone call for you, sir. 569 00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:16,749 I'd like to show you to the the courtesy phone. 570 00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:18,785 Oh, alright. 571 00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:21,621 Excuse me, aren't you the doritos guy ? 572 00:25:21,654 --> 00:25:23,790 Johnny announced he was quittin' today. 573 00:25:23,823 --> 00:25:25,124 What ? 574 00:25:25,157 --> 00:25:27,226 What are you talk-- i was just with him. 575 00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:29,228 He went on last, long after you'd gone. 576 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:31,097 He just dumped it on 'em, 577 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:33,065 he said he was doing the show one more year, and then out. 578 00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:35,835 Did they make any kind of announcement about us ? 579 00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,705 Nothin', they were too busy trying to pull up their pants. 580 00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:40,840 But, it'll come, the deal is set. 581 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,942 We got it, Jay, one more year ! 582 00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:46,879 His last show is may 22, our first is may 25, Memorial Day. 583 00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:49,115 God, I'm havin' a hard time gettin' my breath. 584 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:50,783 I hearing what my mother always said, 585 00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:52,685 "be careful what you wish for, you might get it." 586 00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:56,723 I know what you mean... It's still secret, right ? 587 00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:58,691 We can't, you know, say anything about it ? 588 00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:00,159 We've waited this long, 589 00:26:00,192 --> 00:26:02,662 what difference does another day or two make ? 590 00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:06,332 Yeah, I guess, they wanna, probably wanna tell Dave first. 591 00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:08,735 You're such a nice guy, Jay leno ! 592 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:10,770 Worrying about your old friend, Dave ? 593 00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:13,105 You wanna know the real difference between you and letterman ? 594 00:26:13,139 --> 00:26:15,341 You had me, enough ! 595 00:26:15,374 --> 00:26:18,177 Now, go do your show in Tahoe, have a good time. 596 00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:24,884 ( Tonight show theme music ) 597 00:26:32,158 --> 00:26:33,860 ( Dave ) yes, sparky ! 598 00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:39,398 Oh, yes, good boy ! 599 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,267 Alright, we're gonna be right back, 600 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,002 with a commercial. 601 00:26:43,035 --> 00:26:44,303 Paul, get us out. 602 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:45,938 ( Applause ) 603 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,209 Hey, Peter, how are ya ? 604 00:26:50,242 --> 00:26:52,979 Good to see ya. Is John here ? 605 00:26:53,012 --> 00:26:54,246 Yes, he's here and he's ready. 606 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,716 You're not gonna believe this. 607 00:26:56,749 --> 00:27:00,386 Johnny announced his retirement at the affiliates meeting in carnegie hall. 608 00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:02,855 What do you mean, when, when's he gonna retire ? 609 00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:04,390 A year from now. 610 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:05,792 One more year on the air, that's what he said. 611 00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:08,194 Holy shit. And did nbc-- 612 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:10,096 no, no. 613 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,899 No announcement from nbc. 614 00:27:12,932 --> 00:27:14,333 Okay, 20 seconds. 615 00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:20,406 Can you fucking believe this ? 616 00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:21,974 Isn't this amazing ? 617 00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:24,711 ( Male ) five, four, three, 618 00:27:24,744 --> 00:27:25,912 two... 619 00:27:25,945 --> 00:27:27,113 Ed couldn't make it, 620 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:29,081 I happened to be in the neighborhood, 621 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:31,684 so, I brought you a little something. 622 00:27:31,718 --> 00:27:33,285 What's this ? 623 00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:36,255 You're the winner of the million dollar sweepstakes. 624 00:27:38,424 --> 00:27:42,929 Morty, Johnny asked me to stay on until the show's done, 625 00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:44,697 and, I told him I would. 626 00:27:44,731 --> 00:27:46,265 After that, I'm all yours. 627 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:49,168 That's great, 'cause we both want you. 628 00:27:49,201 --> 00:27:51,437 No, I just happened to be in town, 629 00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:53,940 doing a something for the affiliates. 630 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:57,043 You quit, Johnny, you quit your job ! 631 00:27:57,076 --> 00:27:59,211 That's the business you came to-- 632 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:02,481 Jesus Christ, this guy is so good. 633 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,216 I cannot fucking believe, 634 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:07,019 we haven't heard from agoglia, Wright, or littlefield. 635 00:28:07,053 --> 00:28:09,021 None of 'em. 636 00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,990 Maybe they lost the number. 637 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:19,031 ( Male ) so, we can handle unpleasant Dave ? 638 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:21,367 Well, it's real simple, first we slap him, 639 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,335 and, then we kiss up. 640 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:26,205 There's only so much kissin' up I'm capable of. 641 00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:30,109 I got a signed contract with this guy's name on it. 642 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:32,411 Fuck him and his bruised ego. 643 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:36,248 My ass is bruised from sittin' on a goddamn plane. 644 00:28:36,282 --> 00:28:38,350 So, you want morty to sit behind the desk ? 645 00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:40,086 Alright, fine, i can do that. 646 00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:42,989 Okay, no, no, is this gonna work, Peter ? 647 00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:44,791 Hello. hello, gentlemen. 648 00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,893 Dave will be with you in just a few more minutes. 649 00:28:46,926 --> 00:28:48,260 Great, thanks. 650 00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:49,461 Can I get you some coffee while you wait ? 651 00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:50,863 Please, black ? 652 00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,331 Yeah, I'd love some, thanks. 653 00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:01,440 Oh, god, they're here. 654 00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:04,076 They look like such worms, I tell ya, 655 00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:06,245 it's littlefield. 656 00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:09,215 Yeah, agoglia's with him. 657 00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:10,482 Oh, great, thank you. 658 00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,284 You're welcome. 659 00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:16,122 The coffee is freezing. 660 00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:18,891 Yeah, yeah, yeah, i can do this. 661 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:21,961 Don't worry, alright, thanks, Peter. 662 00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:23,830 Morty, sit behind my desk. 663 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,431 You sit at the desk. 664 00:29:25,464 --> 00:29:27,834 I'm gonna sit right here. 665 00:29:27,867 --> 00:29:30,269 And, I'm gonna put them over there. 666 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,407 Hi ya', Warren, how ya doin' ? good to see ya. 667 00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,409 Thanks for coming. 668 00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:39,445 And, you are ? 669 00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:41,213 C'mon, Dave, John agoglia. 670 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:43,582 Oh, yeah, John, good to see ya, how ya doin' ? 671 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:45,484 Why don't you have a seat over here ? 672 00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,123 Dave, you know why we're here. 673 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:55,261 The network has been analyzing, the "late night" situation, 674 00:29:55,294 --> 00:30:00,432 and we've watched Jay, grow into the role of host. 675 00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:03,269 We have every reason to be proud of what you've accomplished, 676 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,204 but a choice had to be made. 677 00:30:05,237 --> 00:30:09,008 And tomorrow nbc will announce, that Jay leno has been named, 678 00:30:09,041 --> 00:30:14,446 the next host of "the tonight show". 679 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,450 And, I'm sure that Jay will do a fine job. 680 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:20,219 But, I must tell you, 681 00:30:20,252 --> 00:30:25,557 that we have done this show for 10 years. 682 00:30:25,591 --> 00:30:29,528 And, we know how to do this show. 683 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:31,864 Now, the best thing would've been for all of us here, 684 00:30:31,898 --> 00:30:35,501 to have gone on and done "the tonight show". 685 00:30:35,534 --> 00:30:38,237 That's what we always wanted to do. 686 00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:40,606 And, it's a real disappointment, 687 00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:42,474 that we're not. 688 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:43,976 But, 689 00:30:44,010 --> 00:30:47,513 if it is your final decision... 690 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:49,615 Then, you can contact my lawyer. 691 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:55,121 Gentlemen, this is completely unacceptable. 692 00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:58,057 I want you to release me from my contract. 693 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,231 ( Littlefield ) what is this ? 694 00:31:05,264 --> 00:31:09,301 I mean, where does this leave us, morty ? 695 00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:11,170 I mean, how can we make him happy ? 696 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:13,105 You wanna keep him happy ? 697 00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:14,974 Do as he asks. 698 00:31:15,007 --> 00:31:16,208 He wants "the tonight show". 699 00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:19,578 Well, short of that. 700 00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,613 We have a plan, 701 00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:25,451 for enhancing Dave's role on "late night". 702 00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:28,955 We want to make it a seamless two-hour block, 703 00:31:28,988 --> 00:31:30,389 right after Jay takes over the show. 704 00:31:30,422 --> 00:31:32,959 No, Johnny, you don't understand. 705 00:31:32,992 --> 00:31:34,426 Dave wants "the tonight show". 706 00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,162 Period. 707 00:31:36,195 --> 00:31:38,597 Well, I'm afraid, that just isn't possible. 708 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,400 Why isn't that possible ? 709 00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:44,170 Morty. 710 00:31:44,203 --> 00:31:47,106 You already have a deal with leno ? 711 00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:50,576 You do, don't ya ? 712 00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:52,411 Let's just say a decision has been made. 713 00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:54,146 "A decision has been made ?" 714 00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:56,415 It's over, so, if you wanna help us out, morty, 715 00:31:56,448 --> 00:32:01,187 you tell me how nbc can make Dave enthused, about the 12:30 show. 716 00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:06,558 Morty ! 717 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,127 He'll be back. 718 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,329 Hold my calls, Pam ? 719 00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:12,198 ( Female ) okay, Mr. Morton. 720 00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:14,100 Oh, morty, ah ! 721 00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:15,401 Not bad, huh ? 722 00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:17,136 No, I sucked. 723 00:32:17,169 --> 00:32:18,670 No, you didn't suck, Dave. 724 00:32:18,704 --> 00:32:21,673 There's something there, I've known those guys... 725 00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:23,976 Warren littlefield has never seen my like that-- 726 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:25,411 David, David-- 727 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,979 they thought I was George peppard or something. 728 00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:28,414 It didn't work... We don't know... 729 00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,382 Yes, we do know, they just told me, 730 00:32:30,416 --> 00:32:32,451 in their own charming fucking and immatable way. 731 00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:34,720 They're going with Jay. 732 00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:37,689 As far as nbc's concerned, you're 12:30. 733 00:32:40,159 --> 00:32:41,427 And, that's it ? 734 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,495 Yeah. 735 00:32:47,099 --> 00:32:48,600 That's it. 736 00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:52,738 Fuck. 737 00:32:58,177 --> 00:32:59,745 ( Peter ) David, I know you're depressed, 738 00:32:59,778 --> 00:33:01,713 but you have to keep fighting. 739 00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:03,249 Fighting for what ? 740 00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:06,185 I'm fucked, I'm finished, my time is up. 741 00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:08,254 It's the end of the road for TV boy. 742 00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:11,323 David, don't get into that. 743 00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:14,326 Do you want the tonight show ? 744 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,562 Why don't you ask me if I want to play 745 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:17,796 centerfield for the Yankees ? 746 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:19,631 Of course I want "the tonight show", 747 00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:25,237 since I was 10 years old, 748 00:33:25,271 --> 00:33:27,573 it's my only dream in my whole life. 749 00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:29,775 Alright, what are you gonna do about it ? 750 00:33:29,808 --> 00:33:32,411 You can't just want it, you have to do something. 751 00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:34,746 I have done a television program on their network, 752 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:36,215 for the last 10 years. 753 00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:37,783 What do you want me to do about it ? 754 00:33:37,816 --> 00:33:39,718 I put a penalty clause in my contract, 755 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:41,287 if they don't give me the tonight show. 756 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,090 How much ? 757 00:33:44,123 --> 00:33:45,391 A million dollars. 758 00:33:45,424 --> 00:33:47,559 Oh, David, that's tip money to those guys. 759 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:50,362 Alright, I'm a pin-head, Pete, i didn't know what I was doin', 760 00:33:50,396 --> 00:33:52,264 c'mon, now, what'll I do ? 761 00:33:52,298 --> 00:33:54,700 I just want that show. 762 00:33:54,733 --> 00:33:57,736 I'm only really happy that one hour a day, 763 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,471 when I'm doing my show. 764 00:33:59,505 --> 00:34:01,740 You will have a show. You're a t.V. Star. 765 00:34:01,773 --> 00:34:03,509 People will wanna hire you. 766 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:07,679 Yeah, who, CBS ? CBS just fired pat sajak, 767 00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:09,548 their gums are still bleedin', 768 00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:11,417 they don't wanna hear the words "late night" ever again. 769 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:12,684 Abc ? 770 00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:15,354 Abc's got Ted koppel on at 11:30. 771 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,656 He's the gold standard. 772 00:34:17,689 --> 00:34:20,159 I'm nickel-plating. 773 00:34:20,192 --> 00:34:21,693 So, what does that leave, syndication ? 774 00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:23,229 Oh, what a feeling, 775 00:34:23,262 --> 00:34:25,264 could you imagine being sold by a syndicator. 776 00:34:25,297 --> 00:34:27,233 "Uh, we got letterman, 777 00:34:27,266 --> 00:34:28,500 or studs", 778 00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:31,503 "you can either have studs" or letterman". 779 00:34:31,537 --> 00:34:33,439 I'm fucked, Pete. 780 00:34:33,472 --> 00:34:35,507 Listen, David, 781 00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:38,310 don't accept what nbc is doing to you. 782 00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:39,611 You simply can't. 783 00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:41,647 You must not follow Jay leno, 784 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,649 because you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life. 785 00:34:43,682 --> 00:34:45,151 It'll make you crazy. 786 00:34:45,184 --> 00:34:47,353 I've already lost the job to him. 787 00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:49,888 What else am I gonna do ? 788 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,490 How about getting an agent ? 789 00:34:51,523 --> 00:34:53,625 Now, don't reject the idea out of hand, 790 00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,494 I know how you feel of agents. 791 00:34:55,527 --> 00:34:57,829 But, we need somebody with some power in the business. 792 00:34:57,863 --> 00:34:59,898 Yeah, I know, but Jesus, an agent ? 793 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,268 I mean, an agent's what you pull off the bottom of your shoe, 794 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:03,569 after a baseball game. 795 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,571 They're just gonna book me in Tahoe, 796 00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,406 with Tony Orlando and dawn. 797 00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,542 Listen, David, i have an idea. 798 00:35:12,311 --> 00:35:14,546 David. Peter. 799 00:35:14,580 --> 00:35:16,182 Mike ovitz. 800 00:35:16,215 --> 00:35:18,484 Please come in, it's wonderful to have you here. 801 00:35:23,522 --> 00:35:25,457 David, I don't know if you remember this, 802 00:35:25,491 --> 00:35:27,426 but years ago, when you were with William Morris, 803 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,195 and I was still an agent there, 804 00:35:29,228 --> 00:35:31,263 we actually met very briefly. 805 00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:33,865 Geez, I can't believe you remembered that. 806 00:35:33,899 --> 00:35:35,367 What I remember is, 807 00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:37,336 you were the funniest guy in the room. 808 00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:41,207 In fact, I don't think we got much accomplished that day. 809 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,675 Michael, maybe we should tell you a little, 810 00:35:43,709 --> 00:35:45,211 about David's circumstances. 811 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,913 Peter, I know Dave's circumstances. 812 00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:50,816 And, so I know why you're here. 813 00:35:50,849 --> 00:35:53,352 Dave is a star of such compelling stature, 814 00:35:53,385 --> 00:35:55,487 that frankly, it makes me personally angry, 815 00:35:55,521 --> 00:35:58,190 he finds himself this abused. 816 00:35:58,224 --> 00:35:59,891 We pride ourselves here at c.A.A., 817 00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:01,860 in developing a career plan for our clients, 818 00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:05,397 that protects them as much as it enriches them. 819 00:36:05,431 --> 00:36:09,468 David has set such an incredibly high professional standard, 820 00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:13,239 and yet he is going disturbingly unrewarded. 821 00:36:13,272 --> 00:36:14,940 That just doesn't make sense. 822 00:36:14,973 --> 00:36:18,344 It's simply bad business practice. 823 00:36:18,377 --> 00:36:21,947 Obviously, we have an intense interest, 824 00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:23,882 in establishing a business relationship with you, Dave, 825 00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:25,684 and with you, Peter. 826 00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:29,721 Frankly, we have worked out a career plan for David, 827 00:36:29,755 --> 00:36:32,558 and it includes securing everything for Dave, 828 00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:34,426 that he wants. 829 00:36:34,460 --> 00:36:36,495 Everything. 830 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:40,499 Of course, that means an 11:30 television show. 831 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,601 Dave will be offered an 11:30 show, 832 00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:45,371 and he will be offered it by every network. 833 00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:48,340 The geometry of the deal will be far larger. 834 00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:49,575 The studios will be in, 835 00:36:49,608 --> 00:36:51,009 the syndicators, 836 00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:53,579 the full range of the entertainment industry. 837 00:36:53,612 --> 00:36:55,281 We shall frame a deal, 838 00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:57,449 that will make you one of the giants. 839 00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:02,654 And, if you give us the privilege, 840 00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:04,623 of working with you... 841 00:37:06,658 --> 00:37:10,629 C.a.a. will take care of everything your talents deserve, 842 00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:12,964 and your spirit desires. 843 00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:20,539 Water ? 844 00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:21,973 Huh ? 845 00:37:34,486 --> 00:37:36,755 Jesus, that was like, 846 00:37:36,788 --> 00:37:38,824 having a meeting with the... 847 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:40,392 The godfather. 848 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:45,997 ( Phone ringing ) 849 00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:47,399 Hello ? 850 00:37:47,433 --> 00:37:48,734 ( Helen ) hi Warren. 851 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:50,001 Good morning, 852 00:37:50,035 --> 00:37:51,803 Theresa told me I'd find you in the car. 853 00:37:51,837 --> 00:37:53,372 Good morning, Helen, how are things ? 854 00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:55,541 Well, I've had it with the Carson people, 855 00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:56,908 tryin' to get anything outta them, 856 00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:58,410 they wouldn't put Jay on the show, 857 00:37:58,444 --> 00:37:59,778 they wouldn't pass the Baton. 858 00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:01,313 Pass the what, Helen ? 859 00:38:01,347 --> 00:38:04,316 Pass the Baton, i had this great idea. 860 00:38:04,350 --> 00:38:06,685 I thought Johnny should say good-bye Friday, 861 00:38:06,718 --> 00:38:08,053 leave his desk, 862 00:38:08,086 --> 00:38:09,555 take his hand-held mic, 863 00:38:09,588 --> 00:38:10,889 walk over to our studio, 864 00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:12,424 and hand it over to Jay, 865 00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:13,892 right on the air... Pass the Baton. 866 00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:16,928 And you suggested this ? to whom ? 867 00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:19,831 Peter lassally, it was like I peed on his shoe. 868 00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:21,767 Well, you know, 869 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,902 I think they might wanna finish up on their own terms, Helen. 870 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:25,937 You'll have plenty of time for your own ideas. 871 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:27,839 We sure will, starting Monday. 872 00:38:27,873 --> 00:38:29,841 Now, I wanna talk about the ad again. 873 00:38:29,875 --> 00:38:31,677 We've been over this, Helen, 874 00:38:31,710 --> 00:38:33,912 and, we can't buy an ad for Jay in Friday's paper, 875 00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:36,081 because we've already bought a full-page ad there, 876 00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:37,583 to say good-bye to Johnny. 877 00:38:37,616 --> 00:38:39,418 Why can't nbc buy a full-page ad, 878 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:41,387 to welcome Jay to face Johnny's ad ? 879 00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:43,422 Because, as i told you before, 880 00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:45,791 the paper's doing it's own full page of stories, 881 00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:49,461 saluting Johnny on the page opposite the ad, 882 00:38:49,495 --> 00:38:51,797 and we're not gonna crowd that 883 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:54,099 with a "welcome Jay" ad, that's it, end of story, Helen. 884 00:38:54,132 --> 00:38:57,636 No, it's not end of story, that ad's goin' in Friday. 885 00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,605 If nbc won't buy the fucking thing, 886 00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,840 I'll pay for it myself, but that ad is going in. 887 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,576 No, it isn't going in, and it's not gonna be your money, 888 00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:07,045 and you're not doing it because I will not allow it. 889 00:39:07,078 --> 00:39:08,780 We've thought about it, 890 00:39:08,814 --> 00:39:10,482 we've listened, and we've made a decision, 891 00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:13,885 and that decision is final. 892 00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:16,788 I knew I could expect shit like this from a dickless 893 00:39:16,822 --> 00:39:19,157 wonder like you. Well, fuck you, Helen, 894 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,528 fuck you and the horse you rode in on ! 895 00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:24,630 We're not gonna do this, i will not allow it. 896 00:39:24,663 --> 00:39:26,932 You closed Jay's contract, didn't you ? 897 00:39:26,965 --> 00:39:29,601 You're out of your fucking mind ! 898 00:39:29,635 --> 00:39:31,169 But, I got the fucking show anyway. 899 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:33,905 I can see that this man is embraced by this-- 900 00:39:33,939 --> 00:39:36,608 it's your only natural talent Warren, fucking up ! 901 00:39:36,642 --> 00:39:39,010 Enough, it's over, done. 902 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:42,113 ( Chuckling ) 903 00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:43,882 ( Audience laughing ) 904 00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:47,052 ( Carson on TV ) so, this is it, huh ? 905 00:39:47,085 --> 00:39:51,657 I am one of the lucky people in the world because, 906 00:39:51,690 --> 00:39:55,561 I got to do something, I've always wanted to do, 907 00:39:55,594 --> 00:39:58,464 and, I've enjoyed every minute of it... 908 00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:01,833 And, I can only tell you, 909 00:40:01,867 --> 00:40:03,769 it's been an honor, 910 00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:06,137 to come into your homes, 911 00:40:06,171 --> 00:40:09,608 and let me entertain you. 912 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:13,211 And, I hope when I do find something that I wanna do, 913 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:17,082 you will still invite me into your home, 914 00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:18,684 as you always have... 915 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:24,155 I bid you a very heartfelt good-bye. 916 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,759 ( Cheers and applause ) 917 00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:16,041 ( Leno ) is this where you want me to stand ? 918 00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,609 I always stand right here. 919 00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:19,611 Where the fuck is Billy crystal ? 920 00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:21,212 And why hasn't he arrived yet ? 921 00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:23,549 Stand up straight, for chrissake. 922 00:41:23,582 --> 00:41:25,617 You're the host of the tonight show ! 923 00:41:25,651 --> 00:41:27,218 So Jay, how's it goin' ? 924 00:41:27,252 --> 00:41:28,687 Hey, you know me. 925 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:30,188 Yeah, Mr. stress. 926 00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:31,790 You look like you're ready to take a nap. 927 00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:33,091 Maybe I will. 928 00:41:33,124 --> 00:41:34,926 I just want to get it over with. 929 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,295 You know, I think we should lose the second perot joke. 930 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:39,765 Don't you think it might be appropriate, 931 00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:42,100 to say something nice about Johnny ? 932 00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:43,301 Early in the show ? 933 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,170 That wasn't my decision. 934 00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:46,572 But still... 935 00:41:46,605 --> 00:41:47,906 ( Helen ) Bob Wright ? 936 00:41:47,939 --> 00:41:50,842 Him I guess i have to talk to. 937 00:41:50,876 --> 00:41:52,243 Hi, Bob ! 938 00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:54,045 So nice of you to check in today. 939 00:41:54,079 --> 00:41:56,748 Thanks, Helen. 940 00:41:56,782 --> 00:41:59,284 I just called to wish Jay well tonight. 941 00:41:59,317 --> 00:42:01,186 I'm sure he's gonna have a great show. 942 00:42:01,219 --> 00:42:04,322 Thanks, I'm doing all I can to make sure that happens. 943 00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:05,757 I'm sure you are. 944 00:42:05,791 --> 00:42:07,593 Listen, 945 00:42:07,626 --> 00:42:08,960 Helen. 946 00:42:08,994 --> 00:42:11,997 I did have one other thought. 947 00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:14,666 What's Jay gonna do to thank Johnny ? 948 00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:16,935 We're not gonna do anything. 949 00:42:16,968 --> 00:42:19,137 I'd like to hear why. You wanna know why ? 950 00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:20,872 Okay. 951 00:42:20,906 --> 00:42:23,208 The new show is going to be different from the old show. 952 00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:25,577 We don't want to look like we're beholden to Johnny's old audience. 953 00:42:25,611 --> 00:42:27,813 Get that outta here ! 954 00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:30,682 Every comic knows you salute the last guy to get more applause for yourself. 955 00:42:30,716 --> 00:42:32,984 That's kiss-up stuff, Jay doesn't do kiss-up. 956 00:42:33,018 --> 00:42:34,920 I think it's a terrible mistake, Helen. 957 00:42:36,287 --> 00:42:39,190 It boils down to simple politeness. 958 00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:40,992 I would really like for you to go down there 959 00:42:41,026 --> 00:42:42,961 and tell Jay to say something like-- 960 00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:45,030 "i wouldn't be here but for John." 961 00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:48,266 I'm not gonna go to Jay one hour before a live broadcast 962 00:42:48,299 --> 00:42:50,301 and tell him to insert some tribute to Johnny Carson. 963 00:42:50,335 --> 00:42:52,237 Absolutely not. 964 00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:55,006 I appreciate your good wishes, and I'll tell Jay you called. 965 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:56,574 ( Dial tone ) 966 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:05,651 ( Announcer ) from the nbc studios in Burbank, 967 00:43:05,684 --> 00:43:09,387 the tonight show, with Jay leno. 968 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:14,192 Featuring branford marsalis, and the tonight show band. 969 00:43:14,225 --> 00:43:19,297 Tonight, Jay welcomes comedian Billy crystal. 970 00:43:19,330 --> 00:43:24,002 And musical guest, garth Brooks. 971 00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:28,106 And now, Jay leno ! 972 00:43:41,019 --> 00:43:43,088 You're gonna love this. 973 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:46,057 I got official notice from c.A.A. 974 00:43:46,091 --> 00:43:48,426 "All future business activity for David letterman, 975 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:52,197 will be handled through Michael ovitz's office. 976 00:43:52,230 --> 00:43:53,899 What, is he trying to get sprung ? 977 00:43:53,932 --> 00:43:56,334 He'd have to hire god for that ! 978 00:43:56,367 --> 00:43:58,704 Well, let's think about this. 979 00:43:58,737 --> 00:44:00,939 Dave didn't hire Mike ovitz to get a five-year-deal out of us 980 00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:03,942 to stay at 12:30, that's not a big enough move for him. 981 00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:05,343 This only works, 982 00:44:05,376 --> 00:44:07,779 if he gets 11:30 for Dave. 983 00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:09,815 You're not listening, Warren. 984 00:44:09,848 --> 00:44:12,250 Dave can bring machiavelli back from the dead, 985 00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:14,119 it still does not do him any good. 986 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:15,754 I made this deal. 987 00:44:15,787 --> 00:44:18,223 We've got full protection, what is he gonna do ? 988 00:44:18,256 --> 00:44:19,725 Ovitz, huh ? 989 00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:22,293 Put him on television in Venezuela ?! 990 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:23,762 Come on ! 991 00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:28,700 ( Male ) this letterman contract has clauses in it 992 00:44:28,734 --> 00:44:30,335 a prisoner wouldn't have ! 993 00:44:30,368 --> 00:44:32,137 How the hell do we get him out of it ? 994 00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:35,941 Give me all the bad news. 995 00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:37,743 Whatever deal we make they have the right to match, 996 00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:40,411 and they can take a full year to match which means, 997 00:44:40,445 --> 00:44:42,714 they could keep him off the air if they want. 998 00:44:44,482 --> 00:44:46,217 That sounds like something you'd have in a deal 999 00:44:46,251 --> 00:44:49,020 for a sports announcer from some local radio station. 1000 00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:51,723 Gets worse, nbc has first negotiating position. 1001 00:44:51,757 --> 00:44:53,859 We can't even talk a deal with anybody but them, 1002 00:44:53,892 --> 00:44:57,095 for 18 months, no offers, nothing. 1003 00:44:57,128 --> 00:44:58,964 Okay, so we don't negotiate. 1004 00:44:58,997 --> 00:45:00,799 We can still talk to people, right ? 1005 00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:02,467 Sure, we can talk, what then ? 1006 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,335 Then we set up pitches. 1007 00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,171 We can't pitch letterman around, Mike, nbc would challenge it. 1008 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:08,874 No, we don't pitch David letterman to anybody. 1009 00:45:08,907 --> 00:45:12,310 They pitch themselves to us, we reverse the process. 1010 00:45:12,343 --> 00:45:14,913 And it's legal too ? 1011 00:45:14,946 --> 00:45:16,514 Yes ! 1012 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:19,951 We can't stop somebody from talking to us. 1013 00:45:21,887 --> 00:45:23,721 Pardon me. 1014 00:45:27,358 --> 00:45:28,526 Rod. 1015 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,495 Howard, oh, i beg your pardon. 1016 00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,864 I made the plane in 14 seconds ! 1017 00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:35,533 I'm glad, all the heavy weights are coming in. 1018 00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:37,969 I heard eisner's going to pitch Disney himself. 1019 00:45:38,003 --> 00:45:40,405 I wish they'd made it clearer earlier 1020 00:45:40,438 --> 00:45:42,407 that this was a true pitch. 1021 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,142 Morton called me yesterday 1022 00:45:44,175 --> 00:45:45,811 and told me they'd see me here. 1023 00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:47,212 That's the first time i knew I had to come. 1024 00:45:47,245 --> 00:45:49,047 All I had in the Hamptons was this old suit. 1025 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,448 And then I get on the plane, I realize 1026 00:45:50,481 --> 00:45:51,950 I have no bloody cuff links. 1027 00:45:51,983 --> 00:45:53,351 Paper clips. 1028 00:45:53,384 --> 00:45:55,086 I'm just afraid letterman will see them 1029 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:56,454 and conclude Larry Tisch is an even bigger tight-wad 1030 00:45:56,487 --> 00:45:58,890 than g.E., which isn't far wrong. 1031 00:46:01,326 --> 00:46:02,961 Hey, rod. 1032 00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,100 Hi, rod. 1033 00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:11,536 Gentlemen, I'm sorry, we're under a bit of a time constraint 1034 00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:13,805 so I just wanted to say we're here because 1035 00:46:13,839 --> 00:46:16,041 we wanna get acquainted with how you do business, 1036 00:46:16,074 --> 00:46:18,409 and to see how Dave might fit in with your plans. 1037 00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:21,947 I would like to reiterate this is not a negotiation. 1038 00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:24,215 It is, for want of a better word, a process. 1039 00:46:24,249 --> 00:46:26,818 Howard, would you like to speak for CBS ? 1040 00:46:26,852 --> 00:46:28,053 Terrific. 1041 00:46:29,587 --> 00:46:32,290 David, I know that you have an appreciation 1042 00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:34,893 for the history and tradition of broadcasting. 1043 00:46:34,926 --> 00:46:38,897 Much of that tradition has been written by CBS. 1044 00:46:38,930 --> 00:46:42,067 Even in england we knew Jack Benny, 1045 00:46:42,100 --> 00:46:45,270 and Lucy, and gleason. 1046 00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:49,474 Does David letterman fit that tradition ? 1047 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:51,109 Like a glove. 1048 00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:54,179 The point is, the CBS of the present, 1049 00:46:54,212 --> 00:46:57,015 can give you what you want, David-- 1050 00:46:57,048 --> 00:46:59,150 affiliate strength. 1051 00:46:59,184 --> 00:47:00,919 Strong management, 1052 00:47:00,952 --> 00:47:03,254 excellent promotion, 1053 00:47:03,288 --> 00:47:09,560 and yes, we have space available at 11:30 every weeknight. 1054 00:47:09,594 --> 00:47:12,197 And we're a network. 1055 00:47:12,230 --> 00:47:14,499 We're what you want, Dave. 1056 00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,401 We're a home. 1057 00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:20,605 Michael. 1058 00:47:20,638 --> 00:47:23,341 Thank you so much for coming. 1059 00:47:23,374 --> 00:47:25,443 You have a young audience, 1060 00:47:25,476 --> 00:47:27,312 we're the young network. 1061 00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:30,081 We're also the only ones capable of 1062 00:47:30,115 --> 00:47:33,451 offering you a start time of 11:00 pm. 1063 00:47:33,484 --> 00:47:36,421 That would give you the jump on Mr. leno. 1064 00:47:41,092 --> 00:47:42,293 Hi ya Robert, good to see you, 1065 00:47:42,327 --> 00:47:44,129 thank you so much for coming. 1066 00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:47,632 Abc has always been the network with young viewers. 1067 00:47:47,665 --> 00:47:51,903 We know how to reach that audience and deliver it to you. 1068 00:47:51,937 --> 00:47:54,205 I'm not gonna say here today 1069 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,243 what we're gonna do about nightline, but... 1070 00:47:58,276 --> 00:48:01,246 Hi al, thank you for coming, i appreciate it. 1071 00:48:01,279 --> 00:48:05,150 We'll build the entire syndication operation at Columbia 1072 00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:07,285 around David letterman and late night. 1073 00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:10,021 We expect we could launch nationally 1074 00:48:10,055 --> 00:48:11,589 with a lineup of stations 1075 00:48:11,622 --> 00:48:13,424 as strong as any network's. 1076 00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:16,027 ( Letterman ) ah, that sounds great, Bob, 1077 00:48:16,061 --> 00:48:17,328 uh, Alan... 1078 00:48:17,362 --> 00:48:18,964 Whatever. 1079 00:48:21,366 --> 00:48:23,201 Hi Brandon, i appreciate it. 1080 00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:24,602 Thank you. 1081 00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:26,437 At Paramount, we've proved with arsenio 1082 00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:27,705 we already know how to make late night work 1083 00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:29,574 in syndication. 1084 00:48:29,607 --> 00:48:31,142 I think it's a perfect match-- 1085 00:48:31,176 --> 00:48:35,513 arsenio followed by letterman. 1086 00:48:39,150 --> 00:48:42,053 I'd follow the example of their nominee... 1087 00:48:42,087 --> 00:48:44,956 ... don't inhale ! 1088 00:48:44,990 --> 00:48:46,591 Listen to this old fool. 1089 00:48:46,624 --> 00:48:49,560 On and on and on. 1090 00:48:59,337 --> 00:49:00,638 It's getting close to 11:00. 1091 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,573 The local news will start late. 1092 00:49:02,607 --> 00:49:04,642 Get Warren on the phone. 1093 00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:06,477 We reschedule our fucking lives 1094 00:49:06,511 --> 00:49:08,213 to do a live show so Jay can follow up 1095 00:49:08,246 --> 00:49:10,648 their ghastly convention coverage with some new jokes. 1096 00:49:10,681 --> 00:49:13,184 Then they won't let us on the goddamn air. 1097 00:49:13,218 --> 00:49:15,520 Motherfuckers in news fucking us again ! 1098 00:49:15,553 --> 00:49:16,988 Warren, 1099 00:49:17,022 --> 00:49:18,223 they're letting this go on. 1100 00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:19,657 He's not gonna finish by 11. 1101 00:49:19,690 --> 00:49:21,692 I swear to you I'm sending my audience home 1102 00:49:21,726 --> 00:49:24,195 if you don't get this over on time. 1103 00:49:24,229 --> 00:49:25,563 No, I'm not losing it, 1104 00:49:25,596 --> 00:49:27,465 you said you had this under control ! 1105 00:49:31,136 --> 00:49:32,503 Look, a pause, right there ! 1106 00:49:32,537 --> 00:49:34,039 They could've cut him off ! 1107 00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:36,641 Get me gartner in Houston, goddammit ! 1108 00:49:36,674 --> 00:49:39,310 It's 11 P.M. in the east right now ! 1109 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:41,179 Mr. gartner, phone for you. 1110 00:49:41,212 --> 00:49:44,082 Helen kushnick on the line. 1111 00:49:44,115 --> 00:49:45,650 Yeah, gartner here. 1112 00:49:45,683 --> 00:49:48,053 You promised me you'd be off by 11, you shit-head. 1113 00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:49,787 I'm goin' live tonight so we can get some pay-off 1114 00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:51,689 from your horseshit convention coverage. 1115 00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:55,093 I'm accommodating you by giving brokaw air time with Jay. 1116 00:49:55,126 --> 00:49:57,762 You get this gas bag Reagan off the air now 1117 00:49:57,795 --> 00:49:59,797 or I'm not using brokaw tonight. 1118 00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:02,367 I don't give a shit if you use brokaw tonight 1119 00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,302 or any other night, lady. 1120 00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:05,770 And let's get something straight. 1121 00:50:05,803 --> 00:50:08,139 I'm the president of nbc news. 1122 00:50:08,173 --> 00:50:10,041 You don't have anything to do with what I do. 1123 00:50:10,075 --> 00:50:11,442 I'm taking you off the air this time, 1124 00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,178 you pompous ass. 1125 00:50:13,211 --> 00:50:14,545 There's only one person who can take me off the air. 1126 00:50:14,579 --> 00:50:16,081 Bob Wright. 1127 00:50:16,114 --> 00:50:17,482 I'll give you his number, call him. 1128 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:20,251 I don't need to call Bob-fucking-Wright. 1129 00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:21,519 I'll send my audience home 1130 00:50:21,552 --> 00:50:23,554 and then you can call him 1131 00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:25,323 and explain why "the tonight show" wasn't on the fucking air. 1132 00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:26,757 Because the news asshole 1133 00:50:26,791 --> 00:50:29,694 couldn't get a horseshit speech off on time ! 1134 00:50:36,167 --> 00:50:38,269 Send 'em home ! get them the fuck out of here ! 1135 00:50:38,303 --> 00:50:40,771 Helen, is this a good idea ? can we do this ? 1136 00:50:40,805 --> 00:50:42,373 Who the fuck made you the executive producer ? 1137 00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,109 You do the fucking jokes. 1138 00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:45,710 I run the fucking show. I've made the decision. 1139 00:50:45,743 --> 00:50:48,179 They fucked us, so now they don't get a show. 1140 00:50:48,213 --> 00:50:50,515 Get these fucking people out of here now ! 1141 00:50:50,548 --> 00:50:54,319 There is no show for them to see ! 1142 00:50:54,352 --> 00:50:57,188 Ladies and gentlemen, we have, what you might call, 1143 00:50:57,222 --> 00:50:59,124 technical difficulties right now. 1144 00:50:59,157 --> 00:51:00,525 It's a heck of a thing. 1145 00:51:00,558 --> 00:51:02,327 Have you been watchin' the convention coverage ? 1146 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:03,528 I could've been a doctor ! 1147 00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:04,729 Yeah, that's not the point... 1148 00:51:04,762 --> 00:51:06,197 Oh, Rick. 1149 00:51:06,231 --> 00:51:07,532 We're running a little late, 1150 00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:08,799 but I think we're gonna be alright. 1151 00:51:08,833 --> 00:51:10,768 The show should start... I think around... 1152 00:51:10,801 --> 00:51:12,870 That's great Warren, but... 1153 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:15,106 Would you hold that thought ? 1154 00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:16,474 What, what... what ? 1155 00:51:16,507 --> 00:51:18,443 What the hell ? 1156 00:51:18,476 --> 00:51:20,545 That ship has sailed, there's nobody here. 1157 00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:21,779 Jesus Christ, 1158 00:51:21,812 --> 00:51:23,214 what, she sent the audience home ? 1159 00:51:23,248 --> 00:51:24,415 We don't have a tonight show ? 1160 00:51:24,449 --> 00:51:25,883 You know, 1161 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:27,552 I've already sold this thing to advertisers. 1162 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,354 Christ ! 1163 00:51:29,387 --> 00:51:31,522 She killed a scheduled show ! 1164 00:51:31,556 --> 00:51:33,758 My level of tolerance with Helen kushnick 1165 00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:35,193 is completely used up. 1166 00:51:35,226 --> 00:51:36,394 So is ours. 1167 00:51:36,427 --> 00:51:37,728 That woman canceled "the tonight show" 1168 00:51:37,762 --> 00:51:39,530 with no authorization whatsoever. 1169 00:51:39,564 --> 00:51:41,666 We had less than half an hour to get that repeat on 1170 00:51:41,699 --> 00:51:43,234 or we would have gone dark. 1171 00:51:43,268 --> 00:51:46,704 She is completely out of control. 1172 00:51:46,737 --> 00:51:49,640 That's become apparent to everybody now, Bob. 1173 00:51:49,674 --> 00:51:51,476 The problem is what do we do about it. 1174 00:51:51,509 --> 00:51:52,810 If we make a move on Helen now, 1175 00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:55,280 Jay could be injured, maybe irreparably. 1176 00:51:55,313 --> 00:51:57,148 The guy seems to be totally dependent on her. 1177 00:51:57,182 --> 00:51:59,350 That's his problem, not ours. 1178 00:51:59,384 --> 00:52:00,785 It's ours if Jay walks off the show. 1179 00:52:00,818 --> 00:52:02,587 And the ratings have been solid, 1180 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,556 I hate to tamper with the show. Maybe... 1181 00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:08,493 Maybe we should just limp along for the a while. 1182 00:52:08,526 --> 00:52:10,195 And wait for her to self-destruct. 1183 00:52:10,228 --> 00:52:13,164 She will, soon, the way she's going. 1184 00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:14,699 Then it won't be an issue with Jay... 1185 00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:16,401 And we won't have to pay her off. 1186 00:52:16,434 --> 00:52:18,436 I think it's more apparent than ever before, 1187 00:52:18,469 --> 00:52:20,405 that we should keep our options open with letterman. 1188 00:52:20,438 --> 00:52:24,709 If you two want to limp along with this situation, 1189 00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:26,477 that's your call. 1190 00:52:26,511 --> 00:52:27,678 But at some point, 1191 00:52:27,712 --> 00:52:30,348 and it's getting to be soon, 1192 00:52:30,381 --> 00:52:32,817 it's gonna be my call. 1193 00:52:34,552 --> 00:52:37,522 ( Door slamming ) 1194 00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:39,524 I'd just like to say thank you, 1195 00:52:39,557 --> 00:52:43,494 to all of you, for this wonderful tribute. 1196 00:52:43,528 --> 00:52:47,498 It has been one of the most memorable nights, 1197 00:52:47,532 --> 00:52:49,367 of my life. 1198 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,168 Thank you. 1199 00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:54,171 ( Applause ) 1200 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:03,548 Excuse me. 1201 00:53:17,828 --> 00:53:20,665 Maybe it's time for us to talk, Bob. 1202 00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:22,633 You heard about kushnick, huh ? 1203 00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:24,302 I'm not going to get in the middle of 1204 00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:26,737 whatever you need to do with kushnick. 1205 00:53:26,771 --> 00:53:28,373 But if you think it's time 1206 00:53:28,406 --> 00:53:30,308 to get serious about doing something with Dave, 1207 00:53:30,341 --> 00:53:32,610 I have a few suggestions. 1208 00:53:32,643 --> 00:53:34,445 I'd like to hear them. 1209 00:53:34,479 --> 00:53:36,581 I think it's... 1210 00:53:36,614 --> 00:53:38,449 Hey, how are you ? 1211 00:53:38,483 --> 00:53:40,785 Nice to see you. 1212 00:53:40,818 --> 00:53:43,288 I think it's important for nbc, 1213 00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:44,955 if you're really serious about keeping Dave, 1214 00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:47,392 to start creating some goodwill. 1215 00:53:47,425 --> 00:53:49,527 There's enough animosity in this relationship 1216 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,396 to start a small war. 1217 00:53:51,429 --> 00:53:56,367 In my mind it's all been stupid and unwarranted. 1218 00:53:56,401 --> 00:53:58,303 Thank you. 1219 00:53:58,336 --> 00:54:01,606 I'm all for goodwill. 1220 00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:03,441 What do you have in mind ? 1221 00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:06,411 We're prevented from pursuing offers for David 1222 00:54:06,444 --> 00:54:08,913 because we are required by nbc, 1223 00:54:08,946 --> 00:54:11,549 to negotiate with them first. 1224 00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:14,519 But that clause only serves to insure 1225 00:54:14,552 --> 00:54:16,587 that David is not going to listen to 1226 00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:18,489 any initial offers you might make, 1227 00:54:18,523 --> 00:54:20,658 generous as they may be, 1228 00:54:20,691 --> 00:54:24,429 because naturally he is going to want to test the waters elsewhere. 1229 00:54:24,462 --> 00:54:26,364 So we can all play this game, 1230 00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:29,700 or we could just loosen the chains a little bit. 1231 00:54:29,734 --> 00:54:33,371 How ? 1232 00:54:33,404 --> 00:54:37,575 You can allow us to solicit other offers openly. 1233 00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:40,745 After all, you still retain matching rights. 1234 00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:42,713 Seems like we're conceding a lot 1235 00:54:42,747 --> 00:54:45,783 for the sake of goodwill. 1236 00:54:45,816 --> 00:54:50,855 Maybe you could offer something in return ? 1237 00:54:53,624 --> 00:54:55,626 Our sales department has told me that 1238 00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:58,863 we've sold the letterman show to the end of June. 1239 00:54:58,896 --> 00:55:01,766 But, as you know, 1240 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,336 David's contract is up April 2nd. 1241 00:55:05,370 --> 00:55:08,873 So if we don't resign him, 1242 00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:12,009 we'll have to return that money. 1243 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:17,482 Unless... 1244 00:55:17,515 --> 00:55:20,685 Unless we give you a three month extension. 1245 00:55:22,620 --> 00:55:24,822 Okay, alright, so that's the deal. 1246 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:26,791 We give you three months, 1247 00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,859 you free us up to negotiate. 1248 00:55:28,893 --> 00:55:34,732 Do you think David would see that 1249 00:55:34,765 --> 00:55:37,034 as a gesture of goodwill ? 1250 00:55:37,067 --> 00:55:40,337 I believe I can assure you that he would. 1251 00:55:53,984 --> 00:55:55,152 Hello, Howard. 1252 00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:56,754 Mike ! 1253 00:55:56,787 --> 00:56:00,458 Listen, we're ready to talk seriously now. 1254 00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:02,026 ( Secretary ) Robert Morton on three. 1255 00:56:02,059 --> 00:56:03,961 Morty, how are things in New York ? 1256 00:56:03,994 --> 00:56:06,497 New York is great, it's great to talk to you too. 1257 00:56:06,531 --> 00:56:08,633 I'm sure you're quite busy with the show. 1258 00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:10,935 Yeah, I'm damn busy, so what's up ? 1259 00:56:10,968 --> 00:56:12,670 You've probably been too busy to realize 1260 00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:14,071 that you've double booked one of our guests. 1261 00:56:14,104 --> 00:56:15,506 Apparently you've got Roger daltry 1262 00:56:15,540 --> 00:56:17,074 the same week we've got him. 1263 00:56:17,107 --> 00:56:18,776 Now I'm sure this is just an oversight by your staff. 1264 00:56:18,809 --> 00:56:20,411 But, I thought I should call, 1265 00:56:20,445 --> 00:56:22,713 and just let you know the way we work things. 1266 00:56:22,747 --> 00:56:25,015 We always had this "gentlemen's agreement" with Johnny... 1267 00:56:25,049 --> 00:56:26,651 Hey morty, haven't you noticed, 1268 00:56:26,684 --> 00:56:28,519 I'm no gentleman ! 1269 00:56:28,553 --> 00:56:30,621 Well, Helen, it's just that the record company is telling us 1270 00:56:30,655 --> 00:56:31,989 you're trying to force daltry into 1271 00:56:32,022 --> 00:56:33,891 cancelling his appearance with us. 1272 00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,593 He's our guest, Helen. 1273 00:56:35,626 --> 00:56:38,195 He is ? well let me help you out here, morty. 1274 00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,965 You have no power with nbc to back you up with guests. 1275 00:56:40,998 --> 00:56:43,434 You really think nbc is gonna back your show, 1276 00:56:43,468 --> 00:56:44,835 over mine ? 1277 00:56:44,869 --> 00:56:46,203 Your guy was the loser, remember ? 1278 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:47,872 That's a cheap shot, Helen ! 1279 00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:50,775 Well, you can expect more where that came from ! 1280 00:56:50,808 --> 00:56:52,643 You have no fuckin' clue what's goin' on at the network, 1281 00:56:52,677 --> 00:56:54,445 you're helpless ! 1282 00:56:54,479 --> 00:56:56,213 You really ought have me do your next contract for ya', 1283 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:57,848 you're making bupkis next to me ! 1284 00:56:57,882 --> 00:56:59,817 You know, i thought we were friends. 1285 00:56:59,850 --> 00:57:01,085 But, you know, let me tell you something, 1286 00:57:01,118 --> 00:57:02,820 I will fight you on daltry 1287 00:57:02,853 --> 00:57:04,489 and I'll fight you on every guest you try to steal. 1288 00:57:04,522 --> 00:57:06,824 Ooh, good luck, mighty mouse ! 1289 00:57:08,893 --> 00:57:10,528 ( Secretary ) it's kushnick on one. 1290 00:57:10,561 --> 00:57:12,029 Helen ! 1291 00:57:12,062 --> 00:57:13,631 Kenny, I'll get right to the point. 1292 00:57:13,664 --> 00:57:14,999 We see Travis's billboards 1293 00:57:15,032 --> 00:57:16,801 all over town, we wanna to book him. 1294 00:57:16,834 --> 00:57:19,036 That's great, Helen, that's really nice. 1295 00:57:19,069 --> 00:57:20,738 When do... 1296 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,540 We want him this week. When he's here for the concert. 1297 00:57:22,573 --> 00:57:23,908 Gee I'm sorry, 1298 00:57:23,941 --> 00:57:26,210 he's on arsenio. Wednesday. Yeah, I know. 1299 00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:28,613 My bookers told me, so, cancel it. 1300 00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:30,815 Arsenio's over with, he's in the toilet. 1301 00:57:30,848 --> 00:57:32,717 He advertisers are desertin' him. 1302 00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:35,119 By the end of the year there won't even be an arsenio ! 1303 00:57:35,152 --> 00:57:37,555 Well, he's on the air now, and we're committed there. 1304 00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:38,756 I guess you're not hearing me. 1305 00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,024 Let me spell it out for you-- 1306 00:57:40,057 --> 00:57:42,860 if you want Travis on this show ever again, 1307 00:57:42,893 --> 00:57:45,029 you better break that date with arsenio. 1308 00:57:45,062 --> 00:57:47,698 I think you need to know something about me. 1309 00:57:47,732 --> 00:57:49,667 I don't respond well to threats. 1310 00:57:49,700 --> 00:57:52,136 Maybe I could offer you something else. 1311 00:57:52,169 --> 00:57:54,505 We have a movie of the week coming up we need to promote, 1312 00:57:54,539 --> 00:57:56,273 with Kenny Rogers, Travis 1313 00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:57,742 and Naomi judd. 1314 00:57:57,775 --> 00:57:59,944 What if I could get them all for the same... 1315 00:57:59,977 --> 00:58:01,979 Excuse me, this ain't merv Griffin. 1316 00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:03,514 We don't do fuckin' theme shows, 1317 00:58:03,548 --> 00:58:04,815 you dumb shit-kickin' hick. ! 1318 00:58:04,849 --> 00:58:06,150 Let me break the news to ya'. 1319 00:58:06,183 --> 00:58:07,952 Not only is Travis tritt 1320 00:58:07,985 --> 00:58:09,854 not gonna do "the tonight show" ever again, 1321 00:58:09,887 --> 00:58:12,022 but you and I are gonna be in this town for a long time. 1322 00:58:12,056 --> 00:58:13,558 We're gonna see each other, 1323 00:58:13,591 --> 00:58:14,959 and we're never gonna to talk again. 1324 00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:16,594 It's your fucking loss, 1325 00:58:16,627 --> 00:58:18,796 and the record company's. 1326 00:58:20,665 --> 00:58:24,168 Ken, the booking office from leno just called.. 1327 00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:26,571 Trisha yearwood's appearance has been canceled. 1328 00:58:26,604 --> 00:58:29,039 Trisha yearwood has been booked with leno for months. 1329 00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:31,275 How can Helen get away with this crap ? 1330 00:58:31,308 --> 00:58:33,010 I'm not going to take it ! 1331 00:58:33,043 --> 00:58:35,580 Get me Robert hilburn at the L.A. times. 1332 00:58:35,613 --> 00:58:36,981 Brace yourself, Warren. 1333 00:58:37,014 --> 00:58:38,849 Ken kragen has gone public about Helen. 1334 00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,317 Holy hell is breaking loose. 1335 00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:42,052 This is it ! 1336 00:58:42,086 --> 00:58:43,253 Even Jay can see, 1337 00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:45,723 she's totally out of control. 1338 00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:50,060 Independent verification. 1339 00:58:54,231 --> 00:58:56,000 Helen has one option. 1340 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,068 She accepts this redefinition of duties 1341 00:58:58,102 --> 00:59:00,137 or she's off the show. 1342 00:59:00,170 --> 00:59:02,607 ( Helen ) "can't book guests"... 1343 00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,842 I don't do that already, we have bookers for that. 1344 00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,711 "Can't cancel guests"... 1345 00:59:06,744 --> 00:59:08,278 I've never canceled a guest, 1346 00:59:08,312 --> 00:59:10,114 no matter what the fuckin' L.A. times says. 1347 00:59:10,147 --> 00:59:12,817 "Cannot talk to the media", well, that's a relief. 1348 00:59:12,850 --> 00:59:14,118 Who needs that ? 1349 00:59:14,151 --> 00:59:15,853 This is no redefinition of my duties. 1350 00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:17,655 It's what I've been doin' all along. 1351 00:59:17,688 --> 00:59:19,223 If you sign this, 1352 00:59:19,256 --> 00:59:22,059 we'll hold your feet to the flame on every issue. 1353 00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:24,595 When they put John sununu out of the white house, 1354 00:59:24,629 --> 00:59:27,097 everything fell apart. 1355 00:59:27,131 --> 00:59:31,168 ( Helen ) you guys want me to prove i can be a good little girl. 1356 00:59:31,201 --> 00:59:35,039 Would any of this be pulled with a male executive producer ? 1357 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,707 Bullshit ! 1358 00:59:36,741 --> 00:59:39,309 Well, okay, I can be a good little girl. 1359 00:59:39,343 --> 00:59:41,646 Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do ? 1360 00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:43,047 Try to control yourself, Helen. 1361 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,082 Stop fucking with me, Warren. 1362 00:59:45,115 --> 00:59:46,383 I know what you're up to. 1363 00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:48,085 You've made a mess of prime time. 1364 00:59:48,118 --> 00:59:50,287 You know you can't measure up to the job Brandon did ! 1365 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,790 So this is all you can do to try to save your own ass 1366 00:59:52,823 --> 00:59:54,191 is to come after me. 1367 00:59:54,224 --> 00:59:55,693 Hey Warren, did you know they're talking to 1368 00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:57,227 Don ohlmeyer for your job ? 1369 00:59:57,261 --> 00:59:58,963 And kerry mccluggage ? 1370 00:59:58,996 --> 01:00:00,798 So go fuck yourself, Warren. 1371 01:00:00,831 --> 01:00:04,969 I mean, you've had a lot of practice at that, right ? 1372 01:00:05,002 --> 01:00:07,371 Helen ! 1373 01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:12,843 She'll never make it as a diplomat. 1374 01:00:12,877 --> 01:00:14,311 If you love her, get her out of here. 1375 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,881 She needs help, Jay. We all need help, Warren. 1376 01:00:16,914 --> 01:00:18,849 The numbers are still good, isn't that what's important ? 1377 01:00:18,883 --> 01:00:20,417 It doesn't matter. 1378 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:21,919 You're approaching disaster. 1379 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:23,287 Helen has pushed too far. 1380 01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,756 The whole town is rising up against her. 1381 01:00:25,790 --> 01:00:27,324 It's not as easy as you think. 1382 01:00:27,357 --> 01:00:29,694 Helen made all this happen for me. 1383 01:00:29,727 --> 01:00:32,196 You know what I was doin' before I met Helen, 1384 01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:34,999 I was workin' in strip clubs ! 1385 01:00:35,032 --> 01:00:38,102 I wasn't gonna be on any television show. 1386 01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:41,005 An agent once told me i had a face 1387 01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:42,773 that would scare small children. 1388 01:00:42,807 --> 01:00:44,909 I'm the host of the tonight show. 1389 01:00:44,942 --> 01:00:47,211 Helen kushnick got it for me. 1390 01:00:47,244 --> 01:00:49,213 And she could lose it for you, too. 1391 01:00:49,246 --> 01:00:51,181 Great ! 1392 01:00:51,215 --> 01:00:56,253 17 years you know is an awful long... 1393 01:00:57,822 --> 01:01:00,958 Her son died of aids, you know. 1394 01:01:00,991 --> 01:01:03,894 The hospital gave him a bad transfusion, a 3-year-old baby ! 1395 01:01:03,928 --> 01:01:05,095 That was a terrible tragedy, Jay... 1396 01:01:05,129 --> 01:01:06,931 Her husband got colon cancer, 1397 01:01:06,964 --> 01:01:08,265 he died a year after that.. 1398 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:09,967 She had a mastectomy... 1399 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,368 Jerry kushnick on his deathbed, 1400 01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:12,903 on his deathbed, he asked me to take care of her. 1401 01:01:12,937 --> 01:01:14,371 I recognize you have intense feelings about this. 1402 01:01:14,404 --> 01:01:16,807 You have every reason to feel loyalty to Helen. 1403 01:01:16,841 --> 01:01:18,175 But we're past that. 1404 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:20,244 Now, I was a psychology major in college, 1405 01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:22,146 and what John and i are doing with you now, 1406 01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,048 we would have to call an intervention. 1407 01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:28,418 What you see as loyalty to a woman who has suffered deeply, 1408 01:01:28,452 --> 01:01:30,087 we see as a form of addition. 1409 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,490 She cannot continue to produce a television show 1410 01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:35,292 in this condition. 1411 01:01:35,325 --> 01:01:37,728 Helen is either gonna take you down, 1412 01:01:37,762 --> 01:01:39,263 or you are going to separate from her. 1413 01:01:39,296 --> 01:01:42,199 But she is not going to take me down. 1414 01:01:42,232 --> 01:01:45,836 She is fired. 1415 01:01:45,870 --> 01:01:48,806 If we have to we'll bar her from the lot. 1416 01:01:56,881 --> 01:01:59,016 What if I were to walk out with her ? 1417 01:02:01,852 --> 01:02:04,822 If you can't separate from Helen, that's a big mistake. 1418 01:02:04,855 --> 01:02:06,791 I regret it, but we have choices to make. 1419 01:02:06,824 --> 01:02:09,526 And the choice I have to make is to tell David letterman 1420 01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:12,096 that it's time to take over the tonight show. 1421 01:02:12,129 --> 01:02:15,866 I suspect Peter lassally and David, could be in Burbank 1422 01:02:15,900 --> 01:02:17,902 on 24 hours notice. 1423 01:02:17,935 --> 01:02:20,905 You guys would do that to me ? 1424 01:02:20,938 --> 01:02:24,408 I will absolutely do that, that's how strongly we feel. 1425 01:02:24,441 --> 01:02:27,211 I need a commitment from you Jay. 1426 01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:29,513 Will you be at work tomorrow ? 1427 01:02:38,856 --> 01:02:42,192 Is what you're saying is that if I don't come to work, 1428 01:02:42,226 --> 01:02:44,461 I'm gonna be fired. 1429 01:02:44,494 --> 01:02:47,064 I'm not saying that exactly. 1430 01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:48,866 But is that what you mean, 1431 01:02:48,899 --> 01:02:50,968 I'm gonna be fired if i don't show up for work ? 1432 01:02:54,071 --> 01:02:58,142 Jay, are you looking for some legal justification 1433 01:02:58,175 --> 01:03:00,044 for breaking with Helen ? 1434 01:03:00,077 --> 01:03:02,312 It's a simple question just tell me. 1435 01:03:02,346 --> 01:03:04,181 If I don't come to work tomorrow, 1436 01:03:04,214 --> 01:03:06,951 are you gonna fire me ? 1437 01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:12,189 Yes, I guess we're saying that. 1438 01:03:22,132 --> 01:03:25,069 You guys can let yourselves out. 1439 01:03:44,121 --> 01:03:47,024 Agoglia handed this to me when I came in. 1440 01:03:47,057 --> 01:03:48,492 They're firing me. 1441 01:03:48,525 --> 01:03:50,194 I told him you'd never stand for this. 1442 01:03:50,227 --> 01:03:51,528 What do you want me to do about it, Helen ? 1443 01:03:51,561 --> 01:03:52,997 Issue a statement backing me. 1444 01:03:53,030 --> 01:03:54,198 Then we just go on with the show. 1445 01:03:54,231 --> 01:03:56,033 Just like that ? 1446 01:03:56,066 --> 01:03:58,002 Aren't you still fired ? not if you don't accept it. 1447 01:03:58,035 --> 01:03:59,403 They'll never let you go. 1448 01:03:59,436 --> 01:04:01,038 All you have to do is threaten to quit. 1449 01:04:01,071 --> 01:04:03,373 They'll cave, they've got no balls. 1450 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:05,142 You know what they told me ? 1451 01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:07,377 They told me they were gonna fire me and bring in David. 1452 01:04:07,411 --> 01:04:09,013 Bullshit ! 1453 01:04:09,046 --> 01:04:11,248 These guys hate letterman. 1454 01:04:11,281 --> 01:04:14,051 All we gotta do is stay strong, honey. 1455 01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:16,253 Everything is all out of control now. 1456 01:04:16,286 --> 01:04:20,057 Hold it, don't you give me this shit too. Not you. 1457 01:04:20,090 --> 01:04:23,227 Who do you think pulled you out of those shit-hole clubs ? 1458 01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:26,296 Who got you on television, on letterman ? 1459 01:04:26,330 --> 01:04:28,065 I remember. 1460 01:04:28,098 --> 01:04:30,667 You, who wasn't blonde, who wasn't from the midwest. 1461 01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,637 15 years ago, this town, the Carson people, 1462 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:35,505 they wouldn't let you play on their field ! 1463 01:04:35,539 --> 01:04:37,174 So I had to move the game. 1464 01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:39,309 Sorry, assholes, the game's over here now. 1465 01:04:39,343 --> 01:04:40,644 I moved the game ! 1466 01:04:40,677 --> 01:04:42,980 Who the hell do you think forced Carson out 1467 01:04:43,013 --> 01:04:45,049 so you could get the best fucking job in comedy ? 1468 01:04:45,082 --> 01:04:47,284 Forced Carson out, Johnny quit ! 1469 01:04:47,317 --> 01:04:49,386 Sure he quit ! because he couldn't take the heat anymore. 1470 01:04:49,419 --> 01:04:51,288 I got the affiliates on your side. 1471 01:04:51,321 --> 01:04:53,090 I got the network to kiss your Italian ass. 1472 01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:55,492 I got page one of the fucking New York post 1473 01:04:55,525 --> 01:04:58,195 to bury that fossil Carson, all for you ! 1474 01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:00,164 What do you mean you got page one of the post ? 1475 01:05:00,197 --> 01:05:01,999 You told me we didn't have anything to do with that story. 1476 01:05:02,032 --> 01:05:04,401 For chrissake, grow up. 1477 01:05:04,434 --> 01:05:06,370 You lied to me ? 1478 01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:09,273 We've always played the same game. 1479 01:05:09,306 --> 01:05:11,241 You never want to know what I'm doing for you, 1480 01:05:11,275 --> 01:05:12,709 so you can be Mr. nice guy. 1481 01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,678 "Booking war, what do I know ? 1482 01:05:14,711 --> 01:05:16,413 Helen handles that, i do the jokes." 1483 01:05:16,446 --> 01:05:18,548 You just want me to keep servin' you the steaks, 1484 01:05:18,582 --> 01:05:21,485 you never wanna know how I'm slaughtering the cow. 1485 01:05:21,518 --> 01:05:23,720 I can't believe you lied to me. 1486 01:05:23,753 --> 01:05:25,422 We needed the story, it helped us. 1487 01:05:25,455 --> 01:05:26,623 I did it for you ! 1488 01:05:26,656 --> 01:05:28,192 I called Johnny. 1489 01:05:28,225 --> 01:05:29,726 And I told him it didn't come from us. 1490 01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:32,596 Because you told me that it didn't come from us. 1491 01:05:32,629 --> 01:05:35,599 I can't believe you had me lie to Johnny Carson. 1492 01:05:35,632 --> 01:05:38,668 Big fucking deal, so go to fucking confession ! 1493 01:05:38,702 --> 01:05:41,405 I got a show to do, Helen. 1494 01:05:44,074 --> 01:05:46,943 ( Helen ) godammit ! 1495 01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:54,051 What are you doin' ? 1496 01:05:54,084 --> 01:05:56,153 Jay, honey, let's get this ironed out. 1497 01:05:56,186 --> 01:05:58,322 We can work something out with nbc. 1498 01:05:58,355 --> 01:06:01,458 No Helen, they want you out. So do I. 1499 01:06:01,491 --> 01:06:04,061 What about taking care of me and my kid ? 1500 01:06:04,094 --> 01:06:05,629 You sat there on Jerry's deathbed, 1501 01:06:05,662 --> 01:06:07,497 you said, "I'll take care of your wife and daughter." 1502 01:06:07,531 --> 01:06:09,233 I heard you say that ! 1503 01:06:09,266 --> 01:06:11,101 I did say that, and I meant it then. 1504 01:06:11,135 --> 01:06:13,537 But now, Helen, you almost cost me this job. 1505 01:06:13,570 --> 01:06:16,306 You don't need this job, I've been on the phone. 1506 01:06:16,340 --> 01:06:18,575 I guarantee us a job, 25 million. 1507 01:06:18,608 --> 01:06:20,044 We can walk out of here. 1508 01:06:20,077 --> 01:06:21,745 Good-bye, Helen. 1509 01:06:21,778 --> 01:06:24,614 Don't you leave me, you two-faced bastard ! 1510 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:28,052 What do you want to do ? 1511 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:32,322 You wanna break this ? you wanna break this !! 1512 01:06:32,356 --> 01:06:34,391 It's broken. 1513 01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:42,799 ( Female ) Warren littlefield's office. 1514 01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:44,368 Yeah it's Jay, is he in ? 1515 01:06:44,401 --> 01:06:45,802 Sure. 1516 01:06:45,835 --> 01:06:47,271 Yeah Warren, 1517 01:06:47,304 --> 01:06:48,505 you gotta help me through this. 1518 01:06:48,538 --> 01:06:50,074 Absolutely. 1519 01:06:50,107 --> 01:06:51,675 You gotta help me, I'm moving forward with you. 1520 01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,310 I'm doin' the show. 1521 01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:55,379 She's no longer the executive producer. 1522 01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:58,582 I'm no longer in business with Helen kushnick. 1523 01:07:10,827 --> 01:07:13,063 I had a wonderful time ! 1524 01:07:16,466 --> 01:07:19,636 ( Applause and cheers ) 1525 01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:31,281 ( Jay ) can you guys come in here please ? 1526 01:07:31,315 --> 01:07:33,617 Hey everybody, come on in here. 1527 01:07:33,650 --> 01:07:35,719 I just have a few things i wanna say to everybody. 1528 01:07:35,752 --> 01:07:37,621 It'll just take a few minutes, okay ? 1529 01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:40,190 Great show tonight... 1530 01:07:40,224 --> 01:07:44,794 So I wanted to take a few minutes to, 1531 01:07:44,828 --> 01:07:47,731 apologize for all the craziness that's been goin' on 1532 01:07:47,764 --> 01:07:49,733 around here, the past few months. 1533 01:07:49,766 --> 01:07:53,203 I listened to Helen and it was a mistake, 1534 01:07:53,237 --> 01:07:54,504 and I shouldn't have done it, 1535 01:07:54,538 --> 01:07:55,739 and I'm sorry for it. 1536 01:07:55,772 --> 01:07:58,142 So please stay with me, 1537 01:07:58,175 --> 01:08:00,444 I'm gonna try and make it up to each and every one of you, 1538 01:08:00,477 --> 01:08:02,812 and let's just keep doin' the best shows that we can do ! 1539 01:08:02,846 --> 01:08:06,550 So to you, i thank you very much. 1540 01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:08,352 Thank you so much. 1541 01:08:08,385 --> 01:08:10,220 Way to go, Jay ! 1542 01:08:10,254 --> 01:08:12,156 We're behind you ! 1543 01:08:29,606 --> 01:08:31,341 ( Letterman ) what a place ! 1544 01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:32,876 Oh my god, there's more fruit in here ! 1545 01:08:32,909 --> 01:08:35,779 Is it scurvy, Mike, can you see it on my skin ?! 1546 01:08:35,812 --> 01:08:38,515 Pete, have a seat and take that silly rug off ! 1547 01:08:38,548 --> 01:08:40,350 Morty, for god's sakes, straighten your tie, 1548 01:08:40,384 --> 01:08:41,551 this isn't a tractor pull ! 1549 01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:43,853 Alright, here we go ! 1550 01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:48,525 ( Mike ) these are summaries of all the offers David has on the table. 1551 01:08:48,558 --> 01:08:51,295 They're all in the same range-- 12 to 14 million a year, 1552 01:08:51,328 --> 01:08:53,230 depending on how well you do. 1553 01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:55,832 We also have a couple of those oversized syndication offers, 1554 01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:57,401 like the 50 million from viacom... 1555 01:08:57,434 --> 01:09:00,370 Syndication gives me the willies ! 1556 01:09:00,404 --> 01:09:04,841 He wants a network. 1557 01:09:04,874 --> 01:09:09,246 Abc passed because we wouldn't accept midnight after "nightline". 1558 01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:10,847 Fox is... 1559 01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:14,618 Fox is fox, 3/4 of a network, at best. 1560 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:17,954 So, that leaves us with CBS. 1561 01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:21,825 Suddenly our options are narrowed. 1562 01:09:21,858 --> 01:09:25,495 The good news, David, is that CBS really has stepped up. 1563 01:09:25,529 --> 01:09:27,531 They're offering you 12.5, 1564 01:09:27,564 --> 01:09:30,534 but that will escalate as your demographics improve. 1565 01:09:30,567 --> 01:09:32,836 What did they say about the clearance issue ? 1566 01:09:32,869 --> 01:09:34,971 Nbc's is putting the tonight show, on what, 1567 01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:36,840 99% of affiliates... 1568 01:09:36,873 --> 01:09:40,410 We're only get about 65% of the affiliates in year one. 1569 01:09:40,444 --> 01:09:43,347 Howard stringer promises they'll get it up to 90% 1570 01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:46,316 by the end of year three, at the very, very latest. 1571 01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:48,818 In spite of these limitations, Dave, 1572 01:09:48,852 --> 01:09:52,322 I think that stringer is an extremely competent executive. 1573 01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:54,424 And if you go to CBS, there is no doubt, 1574 01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:56,993 you will become their number one signature star. 1575 01:09:57,026 --> 01:09:59,263 I can't put a price tag on that. 1576 01:09:59,296 --> 01:10:03,567 There is one problem that we now have to deal with. 1577 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,470 And that is that nbc still has the right, 1578 01:10:06,503 --> 01:10:08,372 to match this offer within 30 days. 1579 01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:12,476 So nbc matches the offer, I'm stuck at 12:30, 1580 01:10:12,509 --> 01:10:13,743 for the rest of my life ! 1581 01:10:13,777 --> 01:10:14,978 Not necessarily... 1582 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:19,616 We've come up with something extra. 1583 01:10:19,649 --> 01:10:22,819 The CBS deal has a penalty clause. 1584 01:10:22,852 --> 01:10:25,455 CBS agrees to give you a show, 1585 01:10:25,489 --> 01:10:27,457 that airs before midnight eastern time, 1586 01:10:27,491 --> 01:10:29,693 or they owe you 50 million. 1587 01:10:29,726 --> 01:10:33,963 50 million ! 1588 01:10:33,997 --> 01:10:37,334 That's no penalty, that's capital punishment. 1589 01:10:37,367 --> 01:10:39,403 It's not even gonna faze CBS 1590 01:10:39,436 --> 01:10:41,305 because they're giving you 11:30 anyway. 1591 01:10:41,338 --> 01:10:43,640 But it's going to make nbc choke. 1592 01:10:43,673 --> 01:10:45,542 Cool ! 1593 01:10:48,011 --> 01:10:50,347 It's c.A.A.'S formal recommendation 1594 01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:54,584 that you accept the CBS offer, and so inform nbc. 1595 01:10:56,753 --> 01:10:59,689 Congratulations, Dave. 1596 01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,495 Taxi ! where are you goin' ? 1597 01:11:05,529 --> 01:11:06,730 I got a date downtown. 1598 01:11:06,763 --> 01:11:09,032 Really, another one, who's left ? 1599 01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:14,070 David. 1600 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:17,974 You know there's still one promise ovitz hasn't kept. 1601 01:11:18,007 --> 01:11:20,477 Maybe nbc's happy with what they got. 1602 01:11:20,510 --> 01:11:23,079 If nbc were to offer you the tonight show, 1603 01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:24,781 would you still accept it ? 1604 01:11:24,814 --> 01:11:26,983 We've had this conversation, of course I would, 1605 01:11:27,016 --> 01:11:28,518 I want that show, 1606 01:11:28,552 --> 01:11:32,288 I just wanted to hear you say it again. 1607 01:11:33,490 --> 01:11:35,058 Where are you goin' ? 1608 01:11:35,091 --> 01:11:37,361 Pete ? 1609 01:11:39,028 --> 01:11:40,464 David. 1610 01:11:40,497 --> 01:11:42,432 Bob Wright is here to see you. 1611 01:11:42,466 --> 01:11:43,633 Here ? um-hmm. 1612 01:11:43,667 --> 01:11:44,834 Hello, David ! 1613 01:11:44,868 --> 01:11:46,703 Hey Bob, how are ya' ? 1614 01:11:46,736 --> 01:11:48,071 It's good to see ya', thanks for comin' down. 1615 01:11:48,104 --> 01:11:49,606 Pete, why don't you come on... 1616 01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,441 I'm sorry, I have things to do down the hall. 1617 01:11:51,475 --> 01:11:53,777 Thanks, Peter. You bet, Bob. 1618 01:11:55,845 --> 01:11:58,848 Hey Bob, thanks for comin' down. 1619 01:11:58,882 --> 01:12:00,049 Thank you for having me. 1620 01:12:00,083 --> 01:12:01,818 Make yourself at home. 1621 01:12:01,851 --> 01:12:03,753 You like that ? 1622 01:12:03,787 --> 01:12:05,489 You want one, there you go. 1623 01:12:05,522 --> 01:12:08,458 Thank you. You own it. 1624 01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:10,594 David... 1625 01:12:12,496 --> 01:12:16,666 I really don't want you 1626 01:12:16,700 --> 01:12:19,469 to leave your family here, at nbc. 1627 01:12:19,503 --> 01:12:24,408 I'm here because I want desperately to prevent that. 1628 01:12:24,441 --> 01:12:27,577 I wanna offer anything I can. 1629 01:12:27,611 --> 01:12:31,548 Is there anything I can offer to get you to stay ? 1630 01:12:31,581 --> 01:12:34,918 Those are warm sentiments, Bob. 1631 01:12:34,951 --> 01:12:37,020 Thank you. 1632 01:12:37,053 --> 01:12:39,889 Well, of course you know I would stay. 1633 01:12:39,923 --> 01:12:42,459 But you've already filled your 11:30 slot. 1634 01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:46,162 I can offer almost anything else. 1635 01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:48,565 Prime-time, specials... 1636 01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:50,099 I know, Bob... 1637 01:12:50,133 --> 01:12:53,670 It's just, prime-time, 1638 01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:56,039 I'm a creature of late night. 1639 01:12:56,072 --> 01:13:00,009 I always have been and that's who my audience is. 1640 01:13:00,043 --> 01:13:02,145 The guys on the west coast say 1641 01:13:02,178 --> 01:13:04,981 you may have trouble adjusting to 11:30. 1642 01:13:05,014 --> 01:13:07,584 Alright, listen, 1643 01:13:07,617 --> 01:13:10,587 those guys are entitled to their opinion, but, 1644 01:13:10,620 --> 01:13:12,188 I'm tellin' you I think that they're wrong. 1645 01:13:12,221 --> 01:13:13,990 I think that i am ready, 1646 01:13:14,023 --> 01:13:15,925 and I've given a lot of thought 1647 01:13:15,959 --> 01:13:18,962 to what it will take to shift to an 11:30 position. 1648 01:13:18,995 --> 01:13:21,598 I know it's a different audience. 1649 01:13:21,631 --> 01:13:25,802 And if that means booking different types of guests, 1650 01:13:25,835 --> 01:13:28,037 or country music mixed in with the rock. 1651 01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:29,539 Whatever it takes. 1652 01:13:29,573 --> 01:13:32,008 And I can also temper my own act. 1653 01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:34,778 I'm a professional, i know how to do that. 1654 01:13:34,811 --> 01:13:37,013 I have no doubt that you can. 1655 01:13:37,046 --> 01:13:39,916 And I see that you have given this a lot of thought. 1656 01:13:39,949 --> 01:13:43,119 I have, but, all the same, 1657 01:13:43,152 --> 01:13:47,190 I just have to tell ya', that it's time. 1658 01:13:49,225 --> 01:13:51,895 I gotta move up. 1659 01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:55,164 And if I don't do it now, 1660 01:13:55,198 --> 01:13:57,767 I'm not ever gonna do it. 1661 01:13:59,969 --> 01:14:02,005 It's time to move. 1662 01:14:05,141 --> 01:14:06,943 John, 1663 01:14:06,976 --> 01:14:09,145 have you heard anything new from ovitz ? 1664 01:14:09,178 --> 01:14:11,014 Nothing new, nothing old, 1665 01:14:11,047 --> 01:14:13,049 lots of nothing. 1666 01:14:17,687 --> 01:14:19,088 What's Wright saying ? 1667 01:14:19,122 --> 01:14:21,791 He says he's waitin' to hear from ovitz. 1668 01:14:21,825 --> 01:14:23,259 He's leaning towards letterman. 1669 01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:25,662 I told Jay, west coast is behind him, 1670 01:14:25,695 --> 01:14:27,063 but I can't speak for New York. 1671 01:14:27,096 --> 01:14:29,098 You're worried about boca ? 1672 01:14:29,132 --> 01:14:30,834 Once again, Jay and Dave 1673 01:14:30,867 --> 01:14:32,736 are in competition with one another. 1674 01:14:32,769 --> 01:14:35,739 New York likes Dave so much they don't wanna let him go. 1675 01:14:35,772 --> 01:14:38,708 I like Dave, he's my friend, 1676 01:14:38,742 --> 01:14:39,943 I love this show, 1677 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,178 I'm not asking them to not like Dave ! 1678 01:14:42,211 --> 01:14:43,880 Why does it have to be either or ? 1679 01:14:43,913 --> 01:14:45,982 These network guys, they can't make up their mind. 1680 01:14:46,015 --> 01:14:48,585 They think they can just flip a coin, 1681 01:14:48,618 --> 01:14:50,687 Dave or Jay, Jay or Dave, it doesn't matter to them. 1682 01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,055 Do you think that's what the meeting's about ? 1683 01:14:52,088 --> 01:14:53,590 Choosing between you and Dave ? 1684 01:14:53,623 --> 01:14:55,792 I don't care what the meeting's about, 1685 01:14:55,825 --> 01:14:57,994 I've given them everything they've asked for. 1686 01:14:58,027 --> 01:14:59,763 I've given them the demo's, I've given them the numbers... 1687 01:14:59,796 --> 01:15:01,064 If I'm the one goin' down, 1688 01:15:01,097 --> 01:15:04,233 I'm goin' down swingin ! 1689 01:15:04,267 --> 01:15:06,202 Hey, where's Rick ludwin ? 1690 01:15:06,235 --> 01:15:07,904 He left to be in on that conference call from boca. 1691 01:15:07,937 --> 01:15:10,607 Guess what that's gonna be about ? 1692 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:14,911 Hey, everybody, I'm gonna cut the post-mortem short tonight. 1693 01:15:14,944 --> 01:15:17,180 It was a great show, really. 1694 01:15:17,213 --> 01:15:21,050 I'll talk to you tomorrow. 1695 01:15:21,084 --> 01:15:23,252 And I'll see you at the house later. 1696 01:15:23,286 --> 01:15:25,789 Alright ? okay, thanks. 1697 01:15:55,018 --> 01:15:56,820 ( Voices ) are you reading us okay, can you hear us ? 1698 01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:58,822 Yeah, I hear you all fine. 1699 01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:02,892 You settled in ? 1700 01:16:02,926 --> 01:16:05,294 You order the pizza yet ? 1701 01:16:08,197 --> 01:16:10,266 Thanks for joining us, Rick. 1702 01:16:10,299 --> 01:16:17,140 We're here to discuss and figure out everybody's opinion 1703 01:16:17,173 --> 01:16:20,343 on what we should do about late night. 1704 01:16:20,376 --> 01:16:23,112 I think this should have been settled long before now. 1705 01:16:23,146 --> 01:16:27,083 Jay has the job, he's doing great he has a great attitude. 1706 01:16:27,116 --> 01:16:28,818 Whoa, wait a minute. 1707 01:16:28,852 --> 01:16:31,187 I thought we were talk this thing out. 1708 01:16:31,220 --> 01:16:33,990 Not do self-serving commercials. 1709 01:16:34,023 --> 01:16:37,093 If you want the executive producer job that bad, Rick, 1710 01:16:37,126 --> 01:16:38,895 kiss Jay's ass in private, okay ?. 1711 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:42,065 We all see the job Jay is doing. 1712 01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:44,968 His selection of musical acts, 1713 01:16:45,001 --> 01:16:47,170 unoriginal comedy past the monologue. 1714 01:16:47,203 --> 01:16:49,038 And his piss-poor interviewing. 1715 01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:50,373 Which, by the way, 1716 01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:52,275 looks like it will never get any better . 1717 01:16:52,308 --> 01:16:55,144 Let's talk about what we think it would really cost us, 1718 01:16:55,178 --> 01:16:58,147 to match CBS's offer, for letterman. 1719 01:16:58,181 --> 01:16:59,415 And on the other hand, 1720 01:16:59,448 --> 01:17:02,686 and if leno quits to go to CBS, 1721 01:17:02,719 --> 01:17:04,888 are we out from under the 10 million we owe him 1722 01:17:04,921 --> 01:17:06,322 if we fired him ? 1723 01:17:06,355 --> 01:17:08,658 Warren, I've got some seris concerns here, 1724 01:17:08,692 --> 01:17:10,994 and I don't think you can just throw off Jay... 1725 01:17:11,027 --> 01:17:14,898 Jack, it's very good of you to come so late. 1726 01:17:14,931 --> 01:17:16,165 Please sit. 1727 01:17:16,199 --> 01:17:17,834 And keep talking, everybody. 1728 01:17:17,867 --> 01:17:19,402 I'm just here to listen. 1729 01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:21,871 Sorry it's so warm, the air conditioning went out. 1730 01:17:21,905 --> 01:17:25,108 Warren, why don't you continue. 1731 01:17:25,141 --> 01:17:29,178 My fear is that letterman won't cooperate. 1732 01:17:29,212 --> 01:17:31,380 It's not in his personality, he'll stiff us. 1733 01:17:31,414 --> 01:17:34,784 Remember, this is the guy who kicks nbc executives 1734 01:17:34,818 --> 01:17:36,119 out of his anniversary parties. 1735 01:17:36,152 --> 01:17:39,222 Excuse me for a minute... 1736 01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:41,691 There's still a serious question that his act 1737 01:17:41,725 --> 01:17:42,926 can play an hour earlier. 1738 01:17:42,959 --> 01:17:44,127 A lot of us think it won't. 1739 01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:45,361 And don't forget. 1740 01:17:45,394 --> 01:17:47,230 With leno, we own the show again. 1741 01:17:47,263 --> 01:17:49,999 Letterman wants to own his show. 1742 01:17:50,033 --> 01:17:52,969 Then he has all the ancillary profits. 1743 01:17:53,002 --> 01:17:54,403 May I say something here ? 1744 01:17:54,437 --> 01:17:56,105 Jack, please, of course. 1745 01:17:56,139 --> 01:17:58,241 I'm not a regular late night viewer, 1746 01:17:58,274 --> 01:17:59,776 so I would never presume to make a call 1747 01:17:59,809 --> 01:18:01,410 about who's the best comedian. 1748 01:18:01,444 --> 01:18:03,179 All I want to say is this-- 1749 01:18:03,212 --> 01:18:06,349 as always I'm for whatever is the best business deal. 1750 01:18:06,382 --> 01:18:09,452 That's for you Bob and your people to determine. 1751 01:18:09,485 --> 01:18:14,390 However, if the decision comes down to a tie on all angles, 1752 01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:17,794 I'd cast my vote for loyalty. 1753 01:18:20,964 --> 01:18:22,398 Goodnight. 1754 01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:26,736 Goodnight Jack, thanks very much for dropping by. 1755 01:18:26,770 --> 01:18:29,205 We'll meet again tomorrow... 1756 01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,989 Hey Warren, it's Jay. 1757 01:18:46,022 --> 01:18:47,356 How ya' doin' ? 1758 01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:50,226 Hey, I know you're probably all tired 1759 01:18:50,259 --> 01:18:52,261 from sittin' through those boring g.E. Meetings all morning. 1760 01:18:52,295 --> 01:18:54,130 I bet I caught you just as you were about to sit down, 1761 01:18:54,163 --> 01:18:55,398 on the toilet. 1762 01:18:55,431 --> 01:18:59,368 That was quite a meeting you had last night. 1763 01:18:59,402 --> 01:19:01,771 I hope g.E. Protects it's nuclear secrets better 1764 01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:04,407 than they protect their late night secrets ! 1765 01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:07,476 I thought it was too bad to hear that dick ebersol 1766 01:19:07,510 --> 01:19:09,145 was no Jay leno fan. 1767 01:19:09,178 --> 01:19:10,513 Although it was good to know that 1768 01:19:10,546 --> 01:19:13,082 Jack Welch was is in favor of loyalty. 1769 01:19:13,116 --> 01:19:15,351 As long as it came down to a "tie on all angles" 1770 01:19:15,384 --> 01:19:16,920 holy shit, Jay ! 1771 01:19:16,953 --> 01:19:18,487 How the hell do you get your information ? 1772 01:19:18,521 --> 01:19:20,790 Well, I may look stupid, but you know, I'm Italian. 1773 01:19:20,824 --> 01:19:22,225 I know how to find information. 1774 01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:24,794 Listen Jay, don't tell anybody about this. 1775 01:19:24,828 --> 01:19:26,129 Warren, you don't have to worry, 1776 01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:27,864 your secrets are safe with me. 1777 01:19:27,897 --> 01:19:29,799 I won't break the g.E. Code. 1778 01:19:29,833 --> 01:19:33,837 Have a wonderful time in beautiful sunny Florida ! 1779 01:19:48,584 --> 01:19:50,319 Betty, 1780 01:19:50,353 --> 01:19:53,022 we have a security leak of enormous proportions. 1781 01:19:53,056 --> 01:19:55,992 Paul schaffer, ladies and gentlemen. 1782 01:19:56,025 --> 01:19:57,360 Well, that sucked ! 1783 01:19:57,393 --> 01:19:59,528 Let's see how bad we can write tomorrow's. 1784 01:19:59,562 --> 01:20:01,564 John, you have some top ten... 1785 01:20:01,597 --> 01:20:05,134 The top ten reasons sinead o'Connor hates the pope. 1786 01:20:05,168 --> 01:20:06,970 No, no, no can do. 1787 01:20:07,003 --> 01:20:08,437 We got a memo from nbc. 1788 01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,506 Standards and practices is rip-shit over tearing 1789 01:20:10,539 --> 01:20:12,275 the pope in half on Saturday night live. 1790 01:20:12,308 --> 01:20:13,609 I don't care... 1791 01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,611 No sinead o'Connor jokes, Dave ! 1792 01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:18,114 And now nbc's telling us what jokes we can and can't do ?! 1793 01:20:18,147 --> 01:20:22,285 Something in that survey "tasty hot meal" on my desk ?! 1794 01:20:24,053 --> 01:20:25,621 Ah fuck. 1795 01:20:25,654 --> 01:20:28,892 Alright, the top ten jokes that nbc won't let us do. 1796 01:20:28,925 --> 01:20:30,259 Peter liked it, Peter liked that joke. 1797 01:20:30,293 --> 01:20:31,861 Laurie, you like that joke ? 1798 01:20:31,895 --> 01:20:33,196 Yeah. 1799 01:20:33,229 --> 01:20:35,398 Mike ovitz is on line one. 1800 01:20:35,431 --> 01:20:37,466 Alright, fellas, let's go, i gotta take this call. 1801 01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:40,236 Come on, it's adult swim, get outta here. 1802 01:20:40,269 --> 01:20:42,471 Don't come back until it's funny. 1803 01:20:42,505 --> 01:20:44,307 You guys wanna hear this ? 1804 01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:45,909 Oh yeah. 1805 01:20:45,942 --> 01:20:47,911 Alright, you ready ? 1806 01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:50,313 Hi ya' Mike, how are ya' ? 1807 01:20:50,346 --> 01:20:53,282 Dave, one hour ago Bob Wright conveyed to us an offer 1808 01:20:53,316 --> 01:20:55,351 for you to host the tonight show. 1809 01:20:57,987 --> 01:20:59,488 Don't jump to any conclusions. 1810 01:20:59,522 --> 01:21:01,090 Let me lay all this out. 1811 01:21:01,124 --> 01:21:03,993 The deal is for three years with an option. 1812 01:21:04,027 --> 01:21:06,996 The salary range is 7 to 12 million. 1813 01:21:07,030 --> 01:21:08,531 Here's the wrinkle-- 1814 01:21:08,564 --> 01:21:11,634 the deal does not commence until may of 1994. 1815 01:21:11,667 --> 01:21:14,037 18 months from now. 1816 01:21:14,070 --> 01:21:16,339 What's all that about ? 1817 01:21:16,372 --> 01:21:19,008 It's rather transparently nbc's attempt 1818 01:21:19,042 --> 01:21:21,644 to keep both you and leno, at least for a while. 1819 01:21:21,677 --> 01:21:23,312 The may date, as I understand it, 1820 01:21:23,346 --> 01:21:25,414 coincides with the end of leno's contract 1821 01:21:25,448 --> 01:21:27,083 as the host of the tonight show. 1822 01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:30,987 But I get the show ? yes. 1823 01:21:31,020 --> 01:21:33,456 I just don't get it now ? no. 1824 01:21:33,489 --> 01:21:36,159 I get it a year from may ? yes. 1825 01:21:36,192 --> 01:21:39,963 And they don't force Jay out ? 1826 01:21:39,996 --> 01:21:43,032 No, unless he quits, which I assume he might. 1827 01:21:43,066 --> 01:21:44,333 Maybe that's what they want him to do. 1828 01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:46,169 Jay's gonna quit ? 1829 01:21:46,202 --> 01:21:48,271 Not a chance ! 1830 01:21:48,304 --> 01:21:50,673 Jesus, can you believe this ? 1831 01:21:50,706 --> 01:21:53,476 Let me point out a few more things-- 1832 01:21:53,509 --> 01:21:56,612 CBS is offering more salary, 1833 01:21:56,645 --> 01:21:59,015 CBS is offering ownership. 1834 01:21:59,048 --> 01:22:02,518 CBS is also offering for the show to start in the fall, 1835 01:22:02,551 --> 01:22:06,189 nbc the following spring... maybe. 1836 01:22:06,222 --> 01:22:09,125 What's that, what's maybe ? 1837 01:22:09,158 --> 01:22:12,361 I mean that the deal is obviously very smoky in many details. 1838 01:22:12,395 --> 01:22:13,596 But I get the show, right ? 1839 01:22:13,629 --> 01:22:15,498 No, not necessarily, David. 1840 01:22:15,531 --> 01:22:19,335 The waiting period gives Jay 18 months to make the show a hit. 1841 01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:24,440 If he does, nbc will find a way to weasel out of the deal. 1842 01:22:24,473 --> 01:22:28,077 Honestly, c.A.A. Sees no reason to change it's recommendation. 1843 01:22:28,111 --> 01:22:29,278 Mike, listen. 1844 01:22:29,312 --> 01:22:30,980 You don't understand, 1845 01:22:31,014 --> 01:22:34,317 it's every driver's dream to drive a Ferrari. 1846 01:22:34,350 --> 01:22:36,152 You're asking me to give that up. 1847 01:22:36,185 --> 01:22:38,487 I can probably buy some time. 1848 01:22:38,521 --> 01:22:40,423 The nbc deadline is Monday. 1849 01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:42,658 I could get agoglia in here on Saturday and Sunday 1850 01:22:42,691 --> 01:22:44,093 and have him start drawing up papers. 1851 01:22:44,127 --> 01:22:46,162 Yes, get agoglia in there ! 1852 01:22:46,195 --> 01:22:47,530 I'm not gonna be the only guy 1853 01:22:47,563 --> 01:22:49,165 who's weekend is ruined by this. 1854 01:22:49,198 --> 01:22:52,035 Have agoglia drag his tired ass to c.A.A., 1855 01:22:52,068 --> 01:22:53,702 while I'm up in Connecticut in hell 1856 01:22:53,736 --> 01:22:57,073 trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life ! 1857 01:22:58,507 --> 01:23:00,643 Dave ? 1858 01:23:00,676 --> 01:23:02,478 Dave ! what ?! 1859 01:23:02,511 --> 01:23:04,080 Hello, David. 1860 01:23:04,113 --> 01:23:05,481 Hi ya, Pete ! 1861 01:23:05,514 --> 01:23:09,585 Welcome to my weekend in hell ! 1862 01:23:09,618 --> 01:23:12,155 No movement since Friday ? 1863 01:23:12,188 --> 01:23:15,058 And agoglia's not puttin' anything in writing. 1864 01:23:17,226 --> 01:23:20,363 Ovitz says nbc can't take the risk 1865 01:23:20,396 --> 01:23:22,098 that it would leak. 1866 01:23:22,131 --> 01:23:25,401 And Jay would figure out they've offered his job to me. 1867 01:23:25,434 --> 01:23:29,172 Can you imagine if the press heard about this ? 1868 01:23:34,077 --> 01:23:35,511 Do you think Jay knows ? 1869 01:23:35,544 --> 01:23:38,214 No, how can he ? 1870 01:23:38,247 --> 01:23:41,084 But it's worth thinking what it will mean to Jay 1871 01:23:41,117 --> 01:23:42,385 if you take this. 1872 01:23:42,418 --> 01:23:45,288 It means you'll be denounced in the press 1873 01:23:45,321 --> 01:23:47,323 for shoving an old friend under a train. 1874 01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:52,361 Jeez, that's horrible. 1875 01:23:52,395 --> 01:23:54,397 I can't worry about that. 1876 01:23:54,430 --> 01:23:56,199 Have you talked to anyone else ? 1877 01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:57,466 Yeah, I've talked to everybody. 1878 01:23:57,500 --> 01:23:59,568 I've talked to hal, morty, Rob, Jude... 1879 01:23:59,602 --> 01:24:01,204 And what do they say ? 1880 01:24:01,237 --> 01:24:04,207 They all said the same thing, it's a shitty deal. 1881 01:24:04,240 --> 01:24:07,176 CBS offered a better one. 1882 01:24:08,711 --> 01:24:11,814 I tell ya', Pete, 1883 01:24:11,847 --> 01:24:13,649 I'm still thinking of taking it. 1884 01:24:13,682 --> 01:24:15,618 I want that show. What show ? 1885 01:24:15,651 --> 01:24:17,653 I deserve that show ! Johnny's show ? 1886 01:24:17,686 --> 01:24:19,755 Don't you get it, David ? 1887 01:24:19,788 --> 01:24:22,791 They're not offering you the "Johnny Carson tonight show". 1888 01:24:22,825 --> 01:24:24,793 That is gone forever. 1889 01:24:24,827 --> 01:24:26,795 They're offering you damaged goods. 1890 01:24:26,829 --> 01:24:29,565 They're offering you the Jay leno show. 1891 01:24:29,598 --> 01:24:31,367 And they're not even offering it now. 1892 01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:32,768 They're making you wait. 1893 01:24:32,801 --> 01:24:34,703 I lost that show once, I'm not gonna do it again. 1894 01:24:34,737 --> 01:24:36,805 I just can't say no. 1895 01:24:36,839 --> 01:24:39,775 Then don't say yes yet, make one more call. 1896 01:24:39,808 --> 01:24:42,345 Why are you doing this to me ? 1897 01:24:42,378 --> 01:24:44,747 Don't you understand, i don't care ! 1898 01:24:44,780 --> 01:24:47,616 I cannot lose the tonight show twice. 1899 01:24:47,650 --> 01:24:49,418 Once to Jay leno... 1900 01:24:49,452 --> 01:24:51,887 And once because I was too dumb to take a second chance. 1901 01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,789 They're offering me a second chance, Pete ! 1902 01:24:53,822 --> 01:24:55,524 David, you don't understand. 1903 01:24:55,558 --> 01:24:57,760 I am the guy that moved heaven and earth 1904 01:24:57,793 --> 01:24:59,662 to get you that second chance. 1905 01:24:59,695 --> 01:25:02,565 And I'm tellin' you, it's not right. 1906 01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,134 It's left-overs, it's shoddy. 1907 01:25:05,168 --> 01:25:08,204 Call the one guy in all the world 1908 01:25:08,237 --> 01:25:11,707 who can help you figure this out. 1909 01:25:11,740 --> 01:25:14,277 ( Phone ringing ) 1910 01:25:22,318 --> 01:25:23,619 Hello. 1911 01:25:23,652 --> 01:25:25,321 Uh, Johnny, it's Dave. 1912 01:25:25,354 --> 01:25:30,359 I hate to bother you on a Sunday, like this but... 1913 01:25:30,393 --> 01:25:31,894 I know why you're calling, Dave. 1914 01:25:31,927 --> 01:25:34,463 Peter filled me in on the nbc offer. 1915 01:25:34,497 --> 01:25:38,767 Listen, I just hate to put you on the spot like this. 1916 01:25:38,801 --> 01:25:42,338 But you may be the only guy 1917 01:25:42,371 --> 01:25:44,840 who really understands this sort of thing. 1918 01:25:44,873 --> 01:25:46,609 What do you think ? 1919 01:25:46,642 --> 01:25:48,944 I think you gotta do what's best for your career. 1920 01:25:48,977 --> 01:25:51,480 I mean, do what's in your heart. 1921 01:25:51,514 --> 01:25:54,517 Johnny, it's just those two things 1922 01:25:54,550 --> 01:25:57,553 seem to be in direct conflict. 1923 01:25:57,586 --> 01:25:59,855 It's just so tough ! 1924 01:26:03,692 --> 01:26:06,962 I just have to ask you straight out, Johnny. 1925 01:26:06,995 --> 01:26:08,764 What would you do ? 1926 01:26:08,797 --> 01:26:10,666 Well, Dave, I would probably walk. 1927 01:26:10,699 --> 01:26:12,568 Now, I'm not telling you to do that. 1928 01:26:12,601 --> 01:26:15,238 But if you're asking me what I would do 1929 01:26:15,271 --> 01:26:17,740 if I was treated like this, yeah, 1930 01:26:17,773 --> 01:26:21,244 I would probably walk. 1931 01:26:21,277 --> 01:26:24,247 Yeah, I imagine you would, Johnny. 1932 01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:27,350 Listen, I really appreciate this. 1933 01:26:27,383 --> 01:26:29,952 It's just awfully nice of you. 1934 01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:33,856 Thanks. 1935 01:26:33,889 --> 01:26:36,325 Good luck, Dave. 1936 01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:46,835 Everyone here wants to know what's going on in late night. 1937 01:26:46,869 --> 01:26:48,771 And the answer is-- 1938 01:26:48,804 --> 01:26:54,577 the host of the tonight show will continue to be Jay leno ! 1939 01:26:54,610 --> 01:26:57,580 ( Applause ) 1940 01:26:57,613 --> 01:26:59,515 ( Motorcycle starts ) 1941 01:27:02,585 --> 01:27:03,886 How ya'll doin' ? 1942 01:27:03,919 --> 01:27:06,489 Don't let these nbc guys out of your sight ! 1943 01:27:06,522 --> 01:27:08,424 Oh, hi ya', Warren. 1944 01:27:08,457 --> 01:27:09,992 Welcome to nbc, 1945 01:27:10,025 --> 01:27:12,895 which stands for-- never believe your contract ! 1946 01:27:12,928 --> 01:27:14,763 ( Laughter ) 1947 01:27:14,797 --> 01:27:19,034 They say we're living in a time of lowered expectations. 1948 01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:21,970 They must be right, because look at this. 1949 01:27:22,004 --> 01:27:25,408 You're all here and I have the job. 1950 01:27:25,441 --> 01:27:28,477 What we're celebrating is that I haven't been fired ! 1951 01:27:28,511 --> 01:27:32,881 Okay, let's go. 1952 01:27:32,915 --> 01:27:35,684 It's our turn, now. 1953 01:28:27,102 --> 01:28:28,804 ( Honking ) 1954 01:28:36,745 --> 01:28:39,014 Hold it. 1955 01:28:39,047 --> 01:28:44,319 Gentlemen, we're just going from one bizarre circumstance to the next. 1956 01:28:47,556 --> 01:28:49,925 ( Dave ) i never dated Amy Fisher ! 1957 01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:53,862 I helped her with her homework i fixed her car, 1958 01:28:53,896 --> 01:28:56,131 and that's it ! thank you, and goodnight. 1959 01:28:56,164 --> 01:28:58,000 What about Paul shaffer, is he coming along ? 1960 01:28:58,033 --> 01:28:59,602 Paul who ? 1961 01:28:59,635 --> 01:29:00,903 Oh, Paul shaffer ! 1962 01:29:00,936 --> 01:29:04,473 Oh no, god, we forgot about Paul ! 1963 01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:06,375 Howard, is there just 1964 01:29:06,409 --> 01:29:08,777 a little bit left over for Paul shaffer ? 1965 01:29:08,811 --> 01:29:12,381 Dave, are you gonna kick Jay leno's ass ? 1966 01:29:12,415 --> 01:29:14,417 I'm gonna kick your ass, buddy ! 1967 01:29:14,450 --> 01:29:15,851 ( Female ) is your comedy too "hip" for 11:30 ? 1968 01:29:15,884 --> 01:29:18,554 Well, you people seem to be keeping up. 1969 01:29:18,587 --> 01:29:21,690 Do you realize what we've got riding on Jay leno ? 1970 01:29:21,724 --> 01:29:24,893 A whole lotta money and my ass. 1971 01:29:24,927 --> 01:29:27,663 Dave's really good. 1972 01:29:29,532 --> 01:29:32,401 I hope we haven't made a mistake. 1973 01:29:42,878 --> 01:29:48,651 * there's no business like show business * 1974 01:29:48,684 --> 01:29:53,856 * like no business i know * 1975 01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:59,728 * all made up and soon you'll be appearing * 1976 01:29:59,762 --> 01:30:04,633 * every bit of nervousness is gone * 1977 01:30:04,667 --> 01:30:09,037 * and the sound that's music to your hearing * 1978 01:30:09,071 --> 01:30:13,909 * to hear them cheering when you come on * 1979 01:30:13,942 --> 01:30:18,714 * there's no people like show people * 1980 01:30:18,747 --> 01:30:22,718 * they smile when they are low * 1981 01:30:22,751 --> 01:30:26,589 * how I wish the folks at home could only see * 1982 01:30:26,622 --> 01:30:31,059 * what's come to Annie, how proud they'd be * 1983 01:30:31,093 --> 01:30:34,763 * gettin' paid for doin' what comes naturally * 1984 01:30:34,797 --> 01:30:40,002 * lets' go on with the... * 1985 01:30:40,035 --> 01:30:45,207 * show 1986 01:30:48,243 --> 01:30:51,680 ( "say hello say good-bye" instrumental ) 148104

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