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Hey, Marla.
19
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My cleaning service flaked,
so I can't make it.
20
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Yeah, it's been a big ol' shit show.
21
00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:12,200
I had people checking in to units that weren't cleaned,
22
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and now I'm here with a vacuum.
23
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No, no, you stay.
I'm fine.
24
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:20,704
You know, I got my music.
It's -- It's kinda relaxing.
25
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:21,944
Okay, now, bye-bye.
31
00:02:59,717 --> 00:03:01,416
Hi.
Can I help you?
32
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:04,247
Yes, I'm having a little bit of car trouble.
33
00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:08,589
These steep mountain roads,
they got me stuck.
34
00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,592
Can I borrow your phone?
35
00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:13,396
My phone?
Don't you have a cellphone?
36
00:03:13,465 --> 00:03:15,264
It -- It died.
37
00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,500
Guess it just ain't
my day.
38
00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:19,868
Oh, this here's my son.
41
00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:25,640
Wait, what are you --
No, you can't --
42
00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:27,909
No, what are you --
You can't come in here!
49
00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:49,931
I lost my pretty face.
She'll see me!
50
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,837
Don't worry, baby.
I got your pretty face.
51
00:03:54,906 --> 00:03:57,706
Remember,
say nice things to her.
52
00:03:57,775 --> 00:04:00,742
Girls like to hear nice things.
57
00:04:26,971 --> 00:04:30,405
Did that feel good?
58
00:04:30,474 --> 00:04:32,941
Did you get your yuckies out?
60
00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:36,844
I guess she wasn't the one.
61
00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:40,349
You'll know when the right one comes along.
62
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Right one.
63
00:04:41,785 --> 00:04:44,419
Oh, baby,
you certainly made a mess,
64
00:04:44,488 --> 00:04:46,391
I'll tell you that.
65
00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:54,830
All these cleaning supplies sure do come in handy.
66
00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,668
Lucky for us.
67
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:02,137
What you doing there,
baby?
68
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Evidence.
69
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:05,306
Evidence!
70
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:06,509
Such a big word!
71
00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:09,779
You're such a smart man.
72
00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:12,517
You're destroying evidence.
73
00:05:15,687 --> 00:05:18,318
Evidence.
Yes.
74
00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:23,058
But we can't burn the body.
75
00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:26,394
No, bones don't burn.
76
00:05:26,463 --> 00:05:29,764
We're going to have to bury the body somewhere
77
00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:34,336
and then just bury the evidence with that.
78
00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,604
Like the digging game.
79
00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:39,909
You like the digging game?
80
00:05:39,978 --> 00:05:41,413
Huh?
81
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,649
Alright.
83
00:05:51,522 --> 00:05:56,659
Oh, crappus dappus, baby.
We need to hide.
84
00:05:56,728 --> 00:05:59,327
Grab the body.
Help me.
85
00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:02,798
Oh, oh, come on.
86
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,232
Good.
89
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:23,518
What'd I tell ya?
90
00:06:23,587 --> 00:06:24,619
Isn't this great?
91
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:25,721
Yeah.
It's great, right?
92
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,122
Really nice.
93
00:06:27,191 --> 00:06:29,692
My lungs are not used to all this clean air.
94
00:06:29,761 --> 00:06:31,692
At least we got our steps in.
95
00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:33,394
Do you think the cleaner came?
96
00:06:33,463 --> 00:06:37,465
Uh, she was supposed to be gone at 4:00, and it is after 4:00.
97
00:06:37,534 --> 00:06:39,601
There's still dust everywhere.
98
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:43,004
Well, babe, it's --
it's rustic, you know?
99
00:06:43,073 --> 00:06:44,873
I mean, supposedly parts of this house
100
00:06:44,942 --> 00:06:46,708
were built before the Civil War.
101
00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:48,043
So, uh,
I think we're probably
102
00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:50,345
just gonna have to get used to the dust.
103
00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:52,514
Did you leave the fireplace going?
104
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,816
Or was that the cleaning lady?
105
00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:56,617
Uh, no, that was --
that was me.
106
00:06:56,686 --> 00:06:58,287
I was filming and I think I forgot.
107
00:06:58,356 --> 00:06:59,654
Alex,
that's super dangerous.
108
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,157
You could've burned the house down.
109
00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:06,428
I mean, I didn't, so that's --
that's good news.
110
00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:07,629
Hey, you want some wine?
111
00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:10,233
God, yes.
But I gotta pee first.
112
00:07:10,302 --> 00:07:11,937
Cool.
115
00:07:28,419 --> 00:07:31,419
Hey, you want to, uh,
go chill out by the fire,
116
00:07:31,488 --> 00:07:33,717
and I'll -- I'll serve you.
117
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:34,622
Okay.
118
00:07:34,691 --> 00:07:35,957
Won't I mess up your shot?
119
00:07:36,026 --> 00:07:37,320
Alex: No, no, no, no,
you're good.
120
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,826
I'm actually pretty good with that.
121
00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:41,030
I just, um -- I usually just shoot for like an hour or two
122
00:07:41,099 --> 00:07:43,564
and then I find, like,
a little bit that I like,
123
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,601
and I loop it --
corkscrew.
125
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:51,540
Ah, found it.
126
00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:54,109
The cleaning lady did the hearth.
127
00:07:54,178 --> 00:07:55,911
It's still wet.
128
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:59,582
Oh, I was screwing with that corkscrew.
129
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:00,783
I didn't even need to.
131
00:08:06,991 --> 00:08:09,057
Mm.
Mm!
132
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:11,293
Oh, fancy!
134
00:08:13,898 --> 00:08:17,532
Did you know that screw tops
135
00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:19,435
are actually a lot better for the wine?
136
00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:20,635
Hmm.
137
00:08:20,704 --> 00:08:22,837
But wine makers keep using corks
138
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,206
because they think all of us just assume
139
00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:27,109
if something has a cork that it's, like, nicer.
140
00:08:27,178 --> 00:08:29,777
Mm. Big Cork suppressing the truth.
141
00:08:29,846 --> 00:08:31,880
I got your big cork right here, baby.
142
00:08:31,949 --> 00:08:34,449
Hope it's bigger than a cork.
143
00:08:34,518 --> 00:08:36,017
It's marginally bigger than a cork.
144
00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:38,119
I know.
Just a little bit.
146
00:08:39,056 --> 00:08:41,022
To, um...
147
00:08:41,091 --> 00:08:44,725
To us.
The coral reefs not dying.
148
00:08:44,794 --> 00:08:48,430
To us and the coral reefs not dying, yeah.
149
00:08:48,499 --> 00:08:50,932
I read something the other day,
they've got that, um,
150
00:08:51,001 --> 00:08:53,101
sunscreen that, like,
doesn't hurt the reefs?
151
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,170
Pretty cool. Yeah.
But they're still dying.
152
00:08:55,239 --> 00:08:58,139
There's a lot of things that are killing it.
153
00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:01,776
Yeah, like I said, it's,
you know, always something.
154
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:05,613
Would you like to join me on this luxurious rug?
155
00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:07,683
Okay, I know where this is going.
156
00:09:07,752 --> 00:09:09,819
What?
Is your camera still on?
157
00:09:09,887 --> 00:09:11,586
No. No.
I just wanted to...
158
00:09:11,655 --> 00:09:13,321
Mm-hmm.
...chill out on the rug.
159
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:15,657
Yeah? 'Cause that one time was a one-time deal.
160
00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:18,226
Oh, that one time was -- I'm not going to end up in your sexy yule log video.
161
00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:20,961
Hey! Hey! Hey!
No, no, no, you say that now
162
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:24,166
until that cash starts rollin' when we start that OnlyFans.
163
00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:26,767
Babe, I don't think that I want to sit on a dead bear.
164
00:09:26,836 --> 00:09:28,904
I mean,
do you think it's real?
165
00:09:28,973 --> 00:09:30,840
Do I think this is a fake bearskin rug?
166
00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:33,375
Is that even really a thing, babe?
167
00:09:33,444 --> 00:09:36,645
It's just --
I dunno. It's cruel.
168
00:09:36,714 --> 00:09:38,213
Oh, it's cruel,
it's cruel.
169
00:09:38,282 --> 00:09:40,381
Says the girl wearing leather boots.
170
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:43,251
Okay, first of all,
there's no face on my boots.
171
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,921
And it's just --
172
00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:48,323
I dunno.
It just feels weird, okay?
173
00:09:48,392 --> 00:09:50,420
Okay! And, yeah,
he's just sitting there
174
00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,160
staring at us pissed.
Sure.
175
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:54,096
I mean, I can --
I can move him.
176
00:09:54,165 --> 00:09:55,964
Why are you petting his head like that?
177
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:58,700
Because he's a friend now.
178
00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,736
You actually look really cute on it.
179
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:01,971
Yeah?
Yeah.
180
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,407
In a...
sexy caveman kind of way.
181
00:10:05,476 --> 00:10:07,179
Oh?
182
00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:13,515
Don't let the boy see.
183
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:15,350
Yeah.
184
00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:17,852
You look really good,
too, actually. Oh.
185
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:21,423
You got this, like,
sexy glow from the fireplace.
186
00:10:21,492 --> 00:10:23,325
You look like, um...
187
00:10:23,394 --> 00:10:24,993
Beyoncé? ...Beyoncé.
188
00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,695
Thank you.
189
00:10:26,764 --> 00:10:28,097
I love you.
I love you.
190
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:29,531
Yeah?
Yeah.
191
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,936
Mm.
192
00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:36,305
Would the lady like a snack?
193
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,405
Mmm, always.
194
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,441
Yeah? Yeah.
195
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:39,744
Okay.
196
00:10:54,158 --> 00:10:55,123
Okay.
197
00:10:55,192 --> 00:10:56,959
Ah, ah,
shit, shit shit!
198
00:10:57,028 --> 00:10:58,559
Mm! Damn it!
Hey, are you okay?
199
00:10:58,628 --> 00:11:00,395
Yeah, no,
I just got a --
200
00:11:00,464 --> 00:11:01,930
What's wrong? What's up?
I got a charley horse
or somethin'.
201
00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:03,698
It's not a big deal.
Oh, no, no, no.
202
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,167
I might have some Tylenol.
No, I just got to stretch it out.
203
00:11:05,236 --> 00:11:06,736
It's cool, it's cool,
it's cool. Listen.
204
00:11:06,805 --> 00:11:08,971
Listen, Zoe, Zoe.
205
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,471
This last year with you has been, like,
206
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:13,275
the most rad year of my life.
Good, babe.
207
00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,276
Yeah, and -- I've had a really good time, too.
208
00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:17,178
Where is my Tylenol?
Um, there's only really one thing
209
00:11:17,247 --> 00:11:19,013
that I think could make it better.
210
00:11:19,082 --> 00:11:22,484
Babe, where'd you put the Tylenol?
And that's if...
211
00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:25,754
you married me.
212
00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:29,424
Oh, my God!
213
00:11:29,493 --> 00:11:31,827
You said something was wrong with your leg, you asshole!
214
00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:34,296
Well, I said what I had to say!
215
00:11:34,365 --> 00:11:36,092
Oh, my God, Alex!
216
00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:37,767
It's so...
217
00:11:37,836 --> 00:11:39,668
It's so beautiful.
218
00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:40,836
Where'd you get it?
219
00:11:40,905 --> 00:11:42,804
It was Nana's.
220
00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:44,205
Kinda cheesy, I guess,
but, uh,
221
00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:47,242
I know you told me you didn't want me to, you know,
222
00:11:47,311 --> 00:11:48,711
do the whole blood diamond thing, so...
223
00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:51,146
And I love you for that.
224
00:11:51,215 --> 00:11:53,014
God, I --
225
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,783
I'm just --
I'm -- I'm in shock, babe.
226
00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,552
You're in shock?
Are you serious? Yes!
227
00:11:57,621 --> 00:12:00,055
I took you to this beautiful mountain retreat,
228
00:12:00,124 --> 00:12:01,256
and you're --
and you're surprised?
229
00:12:01,325 --> 00:12:02,990
I-I've just been working so much,
230
00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:06,729
I didn't even, weirdly,
think about it, I guess.
231
00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:08,931
Okay.
232
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,733
Oh, my God.
233
00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:14,570
Well, I mean...
234
00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:16,341
what do you say?
235
00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,041
Alex.
236
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,178
Babe, you know I love you.
237
00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,579
Hmm?
238
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:24,646
Hmm?
239
00:12:24,715 --> 00:12:26,047
Yeah. Yeah.
240
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,416
I mean, you're -- you're kinda scaring me right now.
242
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,223
Um...
243
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:35,691
Okay.
244
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,462
That's weird.
Uh...
245
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,696
Babe,
something is wrong.
246
00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:42,531
You don't know that.
248
00:12:45,603 --> 00:12:46,835
Hi.
249
00:12:46,904 --> 00:12:48,938
Sorry to bother y'all.
250
00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:51,339
Uh, we're just canvassing the area
251
00:12:51,408 --> 00:12:55,143
to see if you noticed anything unusual last night?
252
00:12:55,212 --> 00:12:57,673
Oh, uh, we weren't here last night.
253
00:12:57,742 --> 00:12:59,909
We got here today.
We're renting.
254
00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:01,483
Yeah, we checked in early and went for a hike
255
00:13:01,552 --> 00:13:03,285
so they could finish cleaning the place.
256
00:13:03,354 --> 00:13:05,921
Deputy: Did you hear or see anything unusual
257
00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:08,056
while you're staying here,
anything suspicious?
258
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:11,187
No. We didn't hear or see anything suspicious,
259
00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:12,188
did we, Alex?
260
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,298
Alex: No.
261
00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:17,265
Is something wrong?
262
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:21,737
Well, um, we don't wanna freak out the tourists.
263
00:13:21,806 --> 00:13:23,838
Tourists are our lifeblood.
264
00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:27,309
But we found a body on the other side of the mountain last night.
265
00:13:27,378 --> 00:13:28,847
Oh, my God.
266
00:13:30,815 --> 00:13:32,080
Is it a hiker or something?
267
00:13:32,149 --> 00:13:33,748
How -- How did they die?
268
00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,416
The coroner's doing a report.
269
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:36,985
That's all we can say right now.
270
00:13:37,054 --> 00:13:39,688
Deputy: But she didn't beat and strangle herself.
271
00:13:39,757 --> 00:13:40,889
Alex: Holy shit!
272
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,357
Oh, my God.
Babe.
273
00:13:42,426 --> 00:13:44,627
Wait a minute.
274
00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:46,795
May I come in?
275
00:13:46,864 --> 00:13:49,699
Uh...yeah, that's fine.
276
00:13:49,768 --> 00:13:51,436
Yeah, come on in.
279
00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:03,011
Where'd you get the log?
280
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,215
Uh, just down the road a little bit.
281
00:14:07,284 --> 00:14:10,218
From the tree with the rocks around it in a circle?
282
00:14:10,287 --> 00:14:12,387
Yeah. I think so.
Why?
283
00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,490
Is there something wrong?
284
00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,058
That's a hanging tree.
285
00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:19,395
They used to hang slaves on it.
286
00:14:19,464 --> 00:14:20,663
Ohh.
Oh, my God!
287
00:14:20,732 --> 00:14:21,897
I-I-I didn't know.
288
00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:23,999
I-I mean, how was I supposed to know?
289
00:14:24,068 --> 00:14:25,533
It just was a-a cool-looking log.
290
00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:27,068
And the branch I cut it off was dead, so...
291
00:14:27,137 --> 00:14:29,064
Didn't you see the plaque?
292
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:31,340
No, I didn't see the plaque.
Did you see a plaque?
293
00:14:31,409 --> 00:14:33,108
We -- We saw no plaques,
Sheriff.
294
00:14:33,177 --> 00:14:36,005
Oh, Diane took down that plaque, Sheriff.
295
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,913
Yeah, she rents that place out for weddings down there.
296
00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:39,782
They don't want to read about slavery.
297
00:14:39,851 --> 00:14:40,916
She took down the plaque?
298
00:14:40,985 --> 00:14:43,551
Yes.
'Cause of weddings.
299
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:47,055
Well, it's her land, but she shouldn't have done that.
300
00:14:47,124 --> 00:14:49,224
I'm going to have to talk to her about that.
301
00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:52,961
Did we do something wrong?
'Cause we had no idea.
302
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:55,763
That's also a very sacred tree
303
00:14:55,832 --> 00:14:58,366
to the tribe that used to live around these parts.
304
00:14:58,435 --> 00:15:00,869
Yeah, they considered it a demon tree.
305
00:15:00,938 --> 00:15:02,772
They would never touch it.
306
00:15:02,841 --> 00:15:05,474
Supposedly it fed on fear
307
00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:08,311
and all the iron from all the blood spilling underneath it.
308
00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:09,706
Hollis.
309
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,346
I'm researching for a Ghost Walk.
310
00:15:11,415 --> 00:15:15,684
Well, these nice people don't need your ghost walk spiel.
311
00:15:15,753 --> 00:15:17,422
They're on vacation.
312
00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:21,393
Can I get a glass of water?
313
00:15:23,928 --> 00:15:26,498
Yeah, of course.
Of course.
316
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:39,708
Now, I'm not the superstitious type.
317
00:15:39,777 --> 00:15:41,676
Yeah.
318
00:15:41,745 --> 00:15:45,147
But I've heard enough of this weird crap around here.
319
00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:46,547
Some of these people think this mountain's
320
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:51,053
like some kinda hillbilly Bermuda Triangle.
321
00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:53,489
Yeah. Maybe it's from the tree.
322
00:15:53,558 --> 00:15:54,857
Maybe it's not.
323
00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:57,760
It is.
324
00:15:57,829 --> 00:15:59,498
Well, we won't do it again.
327
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,103
Okay.
Um...
328
00:16:08,172 --> 00:16:11,768
I wouldn't burn that log again.
329
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,643
Tomorrow I'd bury it respectfully.
330
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,278
Don't touch it.
331
00:16:16,347 --> 00:16:18,814
Use some cloth to carry it out.
332
00:16:18,883 --> 00:16:20,848
Maybe even say a prayer.
333
00:16:20,917 --> 00:16:23,017
That's what I'd recommend.
Yeah, okay, no, absolutely.
334
00:16:23,086 --> 00:16:25,448
We'll do whatever's necessary.
We're so sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
335
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,924
We'll -- We'll say our prayers and everything, yeah.
Yeah.
336
00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:30,292
Y'all two on vacation?
337
00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:32,393
Uh, we were, yes,
a very nice vacation
338
00:16:32,462 --> 00:16:33,761
until both of you guys showed up
339
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:37,799
talking about dead bodies and demon trees.
340
00:16:37,868 --> 00:16:40,068
Well, wait until he tells you about the aliens.
342
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:44,106
I-I'm sorry.
343
00:16:44,175 --> 00:16:47,108
Y-You two seem like a very nice couple.
344
00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:50,211
And I-I want you to enjoy yourselves.
345
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,749
But I just like to be cautious.
346
00:16:53,818 --> 00:16:55,346
The Sheriff's very cautious.
347
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,087
Sure.
348
00:16:58,156 --> 00:16:59,722
That's a nice camera.
349
00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,089
Uh, yeah, thank you.
350
00:17:01,158 --> 00:17:02,624
Yeah. What do you call this thing?
351
00:17:02,693 --> 00:17:04,893
Like a...
352
00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:06,161
DSLR?
353
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:08,130
Uh close.
354
00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:09,364
It's an AF100.
355
00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:11,499
It's probably overkill for my purposes,
356
00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:14,469
but, uh, you know,
I just like stuff to look nice.
357
00:17:14,538 --> 00:17:15,837
You know, like,
during the holidays
358
00:17:15,906 --> 00:17:18,034
where people that don't have a fireplace,
359
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,842
they like to put up a video of a fire?
360
00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:21,109
Yeah.
361
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:23,311
I make those.
I put them on YouTube.
362
00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:24,579
Oh, no kidding?
363
00:17:24,648 --> 00:17:26,181
Hey, we use that down at the station.
364
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,249
Yeah. It's got
Christmas music on.
365
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:30,586
Yeah, my daughter uses one, too, to study.
366
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:33,192
She's got ADHD.
367
00:17:34,358 --> 00:17:36,324
Well, uh, I did one last year in Bali.
368
00:17:36,393 --> 00:17:39,562
It was a, uh --
like a beach bonfire situation.
369
00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:41,029
Pretty cool.
370
00:17:41,098 --> 00:17:45,300
Huh. Is that like a job or just a hobby?
371
00:17:45,369 --> 00:17:48,070
Um, I make some money at it, yeah.
372
00:17:48,139 --> 00:17:51,406
He has at least a million views.
373
00:17:51,475 --> 00:17:53,675
I'm in the wrong business.
374
00:17:53,744 --> 00:17:58,380
Well, If you recorded that log,
I would definitely erase it.
375
00:17:58,449 --> 00:18:01,116
Anyway, we'll let you nice people
376
00:18:01,185 --> 00:18:03,146
get back to your vacation.
377
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:07,355
But if you need anything,
anything at all,
378
00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:09,892
here's my card.
379
00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:11,526
Absolutely.
380
00:18:11,595 --> 00:18:15,497
Yep, we will be in touch.
381
00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:18,333
Have a good night,
Sheriff.
382
00:18:18,402 --> 00:18:21,937
Deputy.
Ohh, watch your step.
383
00:18:22,006 --> 00:18:23,706
Appreciate all you guys do.
384
00:18:23,775 --> 00:18:24,739
Protecting and serving.
385
00:18:24,808 --> 00:18:27,009
Your tax dollars at work,
by the way.
386
00:18:27,078 --> 00:18:28,776
Like, what was that?
387
00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:31,446
Zoe: That is so disturbing.
Yeah, I know!
388
00:18:31,515 --> 00:18:33,582
It's like I hate it when these men in positions of power
389
00:18:33,651 --> 00:18:37,252
just believe all this,
like, superstitious shit.
390
00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:39,387
I'm talking about the killing.
391
00:18:39,456 --> 00:18:40,722
There's a killer on the loose, Alex!
392
00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:43,358
Right, yes, I know about,
yeah, that.
393
00:18:43,427 --> 00:18:44,659
But, you know, honestly,
394
00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:47,362
I wouldn't really worry about that, babe.
395
00:18:47,431 --> 00:18:50,332
I mean, most murders are family disputes,
396
00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:52,067
statistically speaking.
397
00:18:52,136 --> 00:18:54,069
Right?
398
00:18:54,138 --> 00:18:55,770
And if it is a serial killer,
399
00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:58,539
which, despite all the true-crime documentaries
400
00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:02,577
would have you believe,
is super, super rare,
401
00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:06,514
he's probably very far away from here.
402
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,483
Babe, it can't be that rare.
403
00:19:08,552 --> 00:19:10,452
There's many true-crime shows about them.
404
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:12,354
You really need to stop watching that shit before you go to bed
405
00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:13,588
with as anxious as you are.
406
00:19:13,657 --> 00:19:16,191
Ugh, God.
I have to be prepared, Alex.
407
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:17,693
Always be prepared,
right,
408
00:19:17,762 --> 00:19:20,028
my little --
my little Boy Scout.
409
00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:21,766
Come here.
410
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:30,706
What do you say I relight that log?
411
00:19:30,775 --> 00:19:32,273
Or -- Or --
412
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:35,271
Or pick a different one?
413
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,479
The sheriff said don't.
The sheriff said don't?
414
00:19:38,548 --> 00:19:41,377
The sheriff said don't, Alex.
Okay, alright, listen, I'm going to ask you something.
415
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,853
I'm going to ask you something.
Be honest with me.
416
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:48,757
Do you believe that that log is cursed?
417
00:19:48,826 --> 00:19:50,325
Hmm?
418
00:19:50,394 --> 00:19:52,260
I don't know what to believe.
Okay?
419
00:19:52,329 --> 00:19:54,795
I-I-I think the sheriff might be watching.
420
00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:57,599
He might see the smoke. Okay, alright.
Well, fuck me, then right?
421
00:19:57,668 --> 00:20:01,269
'Cause I just wanted to light a fire in a cabin
422
00:20:01,338 --> 00:20:04,640
with my girlfriend and propose to her on a bearskin rug.
423
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,411
Yeah.
424
00:20:12,516 --> 00:20:14,216
You never answered me,
by the way.
425
00:20:14,285 --> 00:20:15,955
Answered what?
426
00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:20,622
"Will you marry me?"
427
00:20:20,691 --> 00:20:22,524
Can we -- Can we just talk about that later?
428
00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:25,360
What does that mean?
What does that mean, Zo?
429
00:20:25,429 --> 00:20:26,961
I'm just --
I mean, like, do you want to?
430
00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:28,463
Do you not want to?
Do you want to think about it?
431
00:20:28,532 --> 00:20:30,265
Babe, I'm just freaked out right now!
432
00:20:30,334 --> 00:20:31,566
You're freaked out by who?
433
00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:34,035
By -- By Sheriff Bumfuck and Deputy Cletus?
434
00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:36,872
What? What? Are you --
A-Are you mad?
435
00:20:36,941 --> 00:20:40,041
No. No. No.
436
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,346
No.
437
00:20:43,214 --> 00:20:44,883
I'm not.
438
00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:50,452
Babe. Yeah?
439
00:20:50,521 --> 00:20:53,656
I love you and I want to marry you.
440
00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:55,891
I do, but I'm just scared.
441
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,359
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
442
00:20:57,428 --> 00:20:59,761
I'm -- I'm fucking scared right now.
Look, I-I'm scared, too!
443
00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:01,997
It's a huge step.
I know that.
444
00:21:02,066 --> 00:21:03,535
I-I-I know.
445
00:21:05,702 --> 00:21:07,836
Alex, no!
It's -- It's not that.
446
00:21:07,905 --> 00:21:10,939
Okay? You're -- You're always so just happy-go-lucky.
447
00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,540
And -- And I have my shit.
448
00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,675
What if it gets worse,
huh?
449
00:21:14,744 --> 00:21:17,077
What if it gets worse like my mom?
450
00:21:17,146 --> 00:21:19,648
What if I grind you down the way my mom did my dad?
Okay, you're not -- you're not like your mom.
451
00:21:19,717 --> 00:21:22,750
You're not like your mother!
You're nothing like your mother.
452
00:21:22,819 --> 00:21:25,220
You're not!
And I'm not your dad, Zoe.
453
00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:27,089
I'm not.
454
00:21:27,158 --> 00:21:28,652
Look at me.
455
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,691
Look at me.
456
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,730
You're not going to grind me down.
457
00:21:33,697 --> 00:21:37,066
You might -- You might polish me, huh?
458
00:21:37,135 --> 00:21:39,434
Polish each other.
459
00:21:39,503 --> 00:21:42,371
Like -- Like little diamonds.
460
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,671
Don't you --
Don't you just feel
461
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,541
like you should be with someone happier?
462
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:49,244
No. No. No. Wouldn't that make you happy,
to be with someone happier?
463
00:21:49,313 --> 00:21:52,014
Huh? I want -- I want you.
464
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:56,888
You big stupid, dumb,
dumb idiot.
465
00:21:59,357 --> 00:22:01,090
You always know the right things to say.
466
00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:02,786
But I -- But, but, but.
467
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,927
I feel cursed.
468
00:22:05,996 --> 00:22:08,396
Yes, like our friend the log in the fireplace.
469
00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:10,866
Don't joke.
Don't joke about that.
470
00:22:10,935 --> 00:22:12,935
Okay.
471
00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:15,670
It's -- It's like a --
It's like, um --
472
00:22:15,739 --> 00:22:17,072
It's like a sense of doom.
473
00:22:17,141 --> 00:22:19,541
Like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
474
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:20,675
You know, like --
like, what if --
475
00:22:20,744 --> 00:22:21,944
what if we're at a certain place
476
00:22:22,013 --> 00:22:23,378
at a certain location at a certain time
477
00:22:23,447 --> 00:22:25,981
and then a tree happens to fall on us
478
00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:27,249
and had you not been married to me,
479
00:22:27,318 --> 00:22:28,449
none of this would have happened.
480
00:22:28,518 --> 00:22:30,552
You would have never died, Alex.
481
00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:33,088
Zoe, that is so completely off the rails.
482
00:22:33,157 --> 00:22:35,089
I-I-I'm going to ask you something right now
483
00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:39,761
and I really, really don't want you to get angry at me.
484
00:22:39,830 --> 00:22:42,263
Can you promise to try?
I-I'm going to try.
485
00:22:42,332 --> 00:22:45,434
But you prefaced it really strongly.
Do you think...
486
00:22:45,503 --> 00:22:48,536
that maybe...
487
00:22:48,605 --> 00:22:50,542
we should up your medication?
490
00:23:05,989 --> 00:23:08,656
It's not about my meds, Alex!
Okay. Alright.
491
00:23:08,725 --> 00:23:09,858
It's not about my meds.
Okay.
492
00:23:09,927 --> 00:23:11,426
This --
This is who I am.
493
00:23:11,495 --> 00:23:12,960
Alright. Look, I'm sorry.
494
00:23:13,029 --> 00:23:14,730
A lot of fucked-up shit has happened to you
495
00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:16,464
in your life, babe.
496
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,333
And I-I-I just want you to be happy.
497
00:23:18,402 --> 00:23:20,072
Okay?
That's all I want.
498
00:23:23,273 --> 00:23:24,944
That's all I want.
499
00:23:30,348 --> 00:23:32,084
This isn't just Willow.
500
00:23:34,185 --> 00:23:35,078
Okay.
501
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:37,752
The planet is dying,
Alex.
502
00:23:37,821 --> 00:23:40,789
And I'm supposed to what?
Go pick out china patterns?
503
00:23:40,858 --> 00:23:42,757
"Oh, my God!
That's so pretty!
504
00:23:42,826 --> 00:23:45,965
Do you have it in lilac?
Do you have it in blue?"
505
00:23:48,232 --> 00:23:52,167
How am I supposed to raise a child in this hellhole?
506
00:23:52,236 --> 00:23:54,970
Okay.
Alright.
507
00:23:55,039 --> 00:23:57,004
How do you -- How do you even plan for the future
508
00:23:57,073 --> 00:23:58,606
when there is none?
Alright, listen, listen! Everything --
509
00:23:58,675 --> 00:24:00,609
How do you plan for the future when there isn't one?
510
00:24:00,678 --> 00:24:02,310
Every era of time --
Nothing matters!
511
00:24:02,379 --> 00:24:05,447
Every era of time seems shitty when you're in it, okay?
512
00:24:05,516 --> 00:24:06,914
That's just an objective point of fact.
513
00:24:06,983 --> 00:24:09,917
Everybody believes that about their era, right?
514
00:24:09,986 --> 00:24:12,287
Okay, just imagine, like,
living in World War I or II.
515
00:24:12,356 --> 00:24:14,088
Oh! Ooh!
Pick an era!
516
00:24:14,157 --> 00:24:16,291
As a black woman during the Civil War.
Oh! As a black woman, huh?
517
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,926
Don't -- Don't do that.
Don't do that! Okay.
518
00:24:17,995 --> 00:24:20,095
I'm making a very cogent point right now, okay.
519
00:24:20,164 --> 00:24:22,463
Ohh. Cogent.
520
00:24:22,532 --> 00:24:23,964
I just think that we are living
521
00:24:24,033 --> 00:24:27,469
at a pretty good little pocket of time in history.
522
00:24:27,538 --> 00:24:31,640
You know, uh,
comparatively speaking.
523
00:24:31,709 --> 00:24:35,377
I guess my point is that there's always going to be
524
00:24:35,446 --> 00:24:36,845
shitty aspects of life, babe.
525
00:24:36,914 --> 00:24:38,480
No matter what era you live in.
526
00:24:38,549 --> 00:24:41,549
And you just gotta --
you just gotta find the good.
527
00:24:41,618 --> 00:24:43,719
You know, you got to lean into the good.
528
00:24:43,788 --> 00:24:45,686
Babe, this time is different.
529
00:24:45,755 --> 00:24:50,358
The world is literally going to hell in a handbasket.
530
00:24:50,427 --> 00:24:52,097
I think you mean figuratively.
531
00:24:54,298 --> 00:24:58,167
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
532
00:24:58,236 --> 00:24:59,234
But you know what?
533
00:24:59,303 --> 00:25:01,169
If it going to hell in a handbasket,
534
00:25:01,238 --> 00:25:04,006
I want to be in that handbasket with you.
535
00:25:04,075 --> 00:25:05,641
Me and you. In a handbasket.
536
00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:07,309
Just -- Just two guys,
537
00:25:07,378 --> 00:25:11,046
plummeting to the depths of hell in a -- in a handbasket, right?
538
00:25:11,115 --> 00:25:12,580
Assuming we can find one,
I guess,
539
00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:13,948
big enough for --
for two of us.
540
00:25:14,017 --> 00:25:15,117
Although if the world is in a handbasket,
541
00:25:15,186 --> 00:25:16,685
I guess we would also be...
542
00:25:16,754 --> 00:25:18,654
Do you want to go
in the hot tub?
544
00:25:21,592 --> 00:25:24,725
You were just terrified of a killer stalking in the woods,
545
00:25:24,794 --> 00:25:25,827
and now you want to go in a hot tub?
546
00:25:25,896 --> 00:25:27,895
I never said I was consistent.
548
00:25:31,603 --> 00:25:32,701
Do you hear that?
00:25:35,805 --> 00:25:37,339
Oh, my God, it's the killer.
551
00:25:37,408 --> 00:25:38,440
They have the code,
babe.
552
00:25:38,509 --> 00:25:40,612
Uh, just -- just relax.
553
00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:42,812
Whoa. Hello?
554
00:25:42,881 --> 00:25:45,448
-Hi.
-Hey.
555
00:25:45,517 --> 00:25:46,847
What can I do for you?
556
00:25:46,916 --> 00:25:49,451
Ben: We're renting the place?
Who are you guys?
557
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,286
Huh.
Um...
558
00:25:51,355 --> 00:25:53,622
I'm sorry, actually,
we're renting the place.
559
00:25:53,691 --> 00:25:55,991
The reservation's on my phone.
Hold on.
560
00:25:56,060 --> 00:25:57,760
Okay, well, I've got the reservation on mine.
561
00:25:57,829 --> 00:25:59,061
Did you guys go through Airbnb?
562
00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:00,556
No. Mountain Getaways.
563
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:01,762
Could I actually come in and pee?
564
00:26:01,831 --> 00:26:03,131
I've just been holding it for...
565
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,532
Yes! You can!
'Cause we rented the place.
566
00:26:04,601 --> 00:26:06,033
-Okay. Excuse me.
-No, no.
567
00:26:06,102 --> 00:26:08,069
-Yeah. Everyone in! Yeah.
-No! No, no, no, no. No, No.
568
00:26:08,138 --> 00:26:09,804
Can you guys just go -- just go back outside, please?
We rented the place.
569
00:26:09,873 --> 00:26:11,172
-Yeah, we did. See. Here.
-No, I'm so sorry.
570
00:26:11,241 --> 00:26:12,340
-Oh, crackers. Fuck it.
-Can I see yours?
571
00:26:12,409 --> 00:26:15,210
-Yeah, yeah.
-Okay.
572
00:26:15,279 --> 00:26:16,706
Hey, uh, babe.
573
00:26:16,775 --> 00:26:18,513
Do you think that we should have people inside
574
00:26:18,582 --> 00:26:20,449
while there's a killer on the loose?
575
00:26:20,518 --> 00:26:22,184
Holly: Killer?
Tell me more!
576
00:26:22,253 --> 00:26:24,185
Looks like we're double booked.
Yeah.
577
00:26:24,254 --> 00:26:25,686
We each booked on different websites
578
00:26:25,755 --> 00:26:27,390
and it didn't reconcile or something.
579
00:26:27,459 --> 00:26:29,524
Okay, um...
580
00:26:29,593 --> 00:26:30,792
Okay, I'll just call the owner.
581
00:26:30,861 --> 00:26:32,895
Oh, yeah, I'll call the owner, too.
582
00:26:32,964 --> 00:26:34,696
It's a race.
583
00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:36,632
We all took these edibles designed to hit
584
00:26:36,701 --> 00:26:38,033
as soon as we got here,
585
00:26:38,102 --> 00:26:41,206
so I don't see us driving anywhere tonight.
586
00:26:44,075 --> 00:26:45,975
Seriously?
Babe, it's gonna be fine.
587
00:26:46,044 --> 00:26:47,943
I'm sure they've got, like,
tons of properties.
589
00:26:49,848 --> 00:26:51,446
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
Like --
590
00:26:51,515 --> 00:26:53,649
Shh!
591
00:26:53,718 --> 00:26:55,951
You guy's hear that?
592
00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:59,287
It's a phone ringing.
593
00:26:59,356 --> 00:27:00,856
It's not mine.
595
00:27:03,861 --> 00:27:05,264
I hear it.
596
00:27:07,297 --> 00:27:08,667
Where is it?
597
00:27:14,338 --> 00:27:16,705
It's a cellphone underneath the couch.
598
00:27:16,774 --> 00:27:18,173
Babe, this is so fucked.
Huh.
599
00:27:18,242 --> 00:27:19,709
This has to be the landlady's phone.
600
00:27:19,778 --> 00:27:21,309
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
601
00:27:21,378 --> 00:27:25,441
Um, she probably just left it on accident when she was cleaning.
602
00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:26,782
Who leaves their cellphone behind?
603
00:27:26,851 --> 00:27:28,350
Babe,
I'm getting scared.
604
00:27:28,419 --> 00:27:30,580
I think that we should go ahead and call the sheriff.
605
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,688
You have his card.
Oh, fuck, that guy?
606
00:27:32,757 --> 00:27:35,223
He sucks.
607
00:27:35,292 --> 00:27:37,292
Alright, fine,
I'll just get the card.
608
00:27:37,361 --> 00:27:39,728
Holly: You just happen to have the sheriff's card?
609
00:27:39,797 --> 00:27:40,896
Yeah, that's suspect.
610
00:27:40,965 --> 00:27:42,463
Okay, it's not as weird as it sounds.
611
00:27:42,532 --> 00:27:43,698
He was up here earlier.
612
00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,935
He's investigating a murder or something.
613
00:27:46,004 --> 00:27:48,536
Whoa.
Wait, that's perfect.
614
00:27:48,605 --> 00:27:51,106
We do a murder podcast.
615
00:27:51,175 --> 00:27:54,944
Our podcast is called "There's a Podcast in the House"!
617
00:27:57,081 --> 00:27:59,649
Have you heard of our podcast?
618
00:27:59,718 --> 00:28:01,016
Have you heard of our podcast?
619
00:28:01,085 --> 00:28:03,118
I haven't heard of your podcast!
Okay.
620
00:28:03,187 --> 00:28:04,885
Beth: We're still trying to find our audience.
621
00:28:04,954 --> 00:28:06,654
But you should listen to some of the newer episodes,
622
00:28:06,723 --> 00:28:09,392
'cause some of the older ones,
like, aren't so good, but --
623
00:28:09,461 --> 00:28:10,486
Babe. Babe.
624
00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,627
Hey, this is a nice camera.
625
00:28:12,696 --> 00:28:15,596
What are you guys filming,
a porno or something?
626
00:28:15,665 --> 00:28:20,005
No. Alex shoots yule log videos as a side hustle.
627
00:28:20,872 --> 00:28:22,337
If I left my phone behind,
628
00:28:22,406 --> 00:28:25,240
I think that I would try and go and find it immediately.
629
00:28:25,309 --> 00:28:26,869
Why didn't...
630
00:28:26,938 --> 00:28:28,443
Why didn't the landlady go and try to get her phone?
631
00:28:28,512 --> 00:28:31,541
Yo, yo, do you do that for money or, like, as a hobby?
632
00:28:31,610 --> 00:28:33,516
Because that's a genius idea.
633
00:28:33,585 --> 00:28:35,216
So easy.
634
00:28:35,285 --> 00:28:37,085
God. That's so not important right now.
635
00:28:37,154 --> 00:28:38,720
Alex: Well, it started out as a hobby, actually,
636
00:28:38,789 --> 00:28:40,722
but then I, uh,
fell into monetizing it.
637
00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:41,990
Actually,
last year, I, uh,
638
00:28:42,059 --> 00:28:44,126
shot a bonfire on the beach in Bali.
639
00:28:44,195 --> 00:28:46,061
It's up to like 10 million views or something.
640
00:28:46,130 --> 00:28:48,096
Okay! That's really cool.
Bali, man.
641
00:28:48,165 --> 00:28:49,331
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
642
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,100
Could you please not do that right now?
643
00:28:51,169 --> 00:28:52,701
The sheriff said not to do that.
644
00:28:52,770 --> 00:28:54,135
Okay, whoa.
Okay.
645
00:28:54,204 --> 00:28:57,306
What, is it, like, illegal to burn logs or something?
647
00:29:00,872 --> 00:29:03,645
We accidentally got it from a cursed tree.
648
00:29:03,714 --> 00:29:05,581
So is that why it won't light?
649
00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:07,148
Oh!
Checks out.
650
00:29:07,217 --> 00:29:09,851
No, I-I totally feel the cursed energy coming from it.
651
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,220
You feel the edible hitting, Henry.
652
00:29:12,289 --> 00:29:14,590
It was used to hang enslaved people.
653
00:29:14,659 --> 00:29:16,225
Whoa.
We just --
654
00:29:16,294 --> 00:29:18,494
The hanging tree.
We just read about it.
655
00:29:18,563 --> 00:29:20,730
Totally!
656
00:29:20,799 --> 00:29:22,865
Is that --
Ah, fuck!
657
00:29:22,934 --> 00:29:24,266
Aw, babe!
658
00:29:24,335 --> 00:29:25,767
It's a splinter!
Did you hurt yourself?
659
00:29:25,836 --> 00:29:28,003
Aw, I'm so sorry.
Oof.
660
00:29:28,072 --> 00:29:29,938
We actually just did this episode recently
661
00:29:30,007 --> 00:29:32,174
about aliens in lynching photos.
662
00:29:32,243 --> 00:29:33,641
Yeah. You've seen
the famous photo, right?
663
00:29:33,710 --> 00:29:35,644
It was, like, essentially viral.
664
00:29:35,713 --> 00:29:38,313
No, I-I-I don't know what you're talking about.
665
00:29:38,382 --> 00:29:42,417
It's a super-famous photo of a lynching with a huge crowd.
666
00:29:42,486 --> 00:29:44,720
And there's one dude in the crowd that looks weird.
667
00:29:44,789 --> 00:29:46,955
He has a face mask on.
668
00:29:47,024 --> 00:29:48,851
He's an alien wearing a mask.
669
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,193
And it's got a chunky wristwatch, and -- Okay.
670
00:29:52,262 --> 00:29:54,129
Uh, wristwatches weren't invented back then!
671
00:29:54,198 --> 00:29:55,230
Alex: Yeah, no,
for sure, for sure.
672
00:29:55,299 --> 00:29:57,098
Like, totally plausible.
Yeah.
673
00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:58,734
Like, if I was an alien that had, like,
674
00:29:58,803 --> 00:30:00,302
super-advanced technology
675
00:30:00,371 --> 00:30:02,303
and could travel like millions of light-years to get to earth,
676
00:30:02,372 --> 00:30:05,407
I just wouldn't even bother with a convincing mask.
677
00:30:05,476 --> 00:30:08,010
Hey, Alex, you're supposed to be on the phone with the sheriff.
678
00:30:08,079 --> 00:30:09,211
I'm on hold, babe.
679
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,448
I will find a picture.
680
00:30:12,517 --> 00:30:13,616
Oh, there it is.
681
00:30:13,685 --> 00:30:15,785
Decide for yourself.
682
00:30:15,854 --> 00:30:17,819
Whoa. Right, it's freaky.
683
00:30:17,888 --> 00:30:20,389
Actually, yeah,
that's, uh -- yeah.
684
00:30:20,458 --> 00:30:21,423
Yeah, I take it back.
685
00:30:21,492 --> 00:30:22,924
This is actually a super-compelling photo.
686
00:30:22,993 --> 00:30:25,160
Babe, it's like this, uh,
really grainy photo
687
00:30:25,229 --> 00:30:27,162
of, uh, like, a blurry guy.
688
00:30:27,231 --> 00:30:29,665
Yeah. Um, maybe he just looks like a human
689
00:30:29,734 --> 00:30:31,900
that's a little bit deformed.
690
00:30:31,969 --> 00:30:34,235
So, good job, man.
Very, very sensitive.
691
00:30:34,304 --> 00:30:35,470
Honestly, the most fucked-up part of that photo
692
00:30:35,539 --> 00:30:37,005
is all the people just standing around
693
00:30:37,074 --> 00:30:38,206
yucking it up while somebody's --
694
00:30:38,275 --> 00:30:40,709
Hey, Sheriff.
Hi. This is Alex.
695
00:30:40,778 --> 00:30:41,877
Uh, you came by the cabin earlier.
696
00:30:41,946 --> 00:30:43,578
Did you want to see the photo?
697
00:30:43,647 --> 00:30:45,146
No, I don't want to see your photo.
698
00:30:45,215 --> 00:30:46,715
Just -- Just stop.
Okay.
699
00:30:46,784 --> 00:30:49,151
Okay. Well, you guys know that this mountain
700
00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:51,921
was the site of a string of alien abductions
701
00:30:51,990 --> 00:30:54,457
and lynchings in the 1950s, right?
702
00:30:54,526 --> 00:30:55,390
She doesn't care.
703
00:30:55,459 --> 00:30:57,125
Yeah, but, like,
Esther Dickens.
704
00:30:57,194 --> 00:30:59,294
The most famous case is Esther Dickens.
705
00:30:59,363 --> 00:31:00,729
Do you know who Esther Dickens is?
706
00:31:00,798 --> 00:31:02,097
Esther, man.
Esther Dickens!
707
00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:04,366
Like, I'm going to be interviewing her grandkids.
708
00:31:04,435 --> 00:31:06,969
Yeah, for the podcast.
For the podcast!
709
00:31:07,038 --> 00:31:10,806
Enough.
Enough about your podcast.
710
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:11,840
Whoa.
Okay.
711
00:31:11,909 --> 00:31:13,876
The landlady is missing!
712
00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,844
Well, that's a pretty anti-climactic
713
00:31:15,913 --> 00:31:17,345
phone call I just had.
714
00:31:17,414 --> 00:31:19,915
Babe, what did he say?
Uh, not a whole lot.
715
00:31:19,984 --> 00:31:22,617
He said to, uh,
call back tomorrow
716
00:31:22,686 --> 00:31:24,854
if she doesn't show up later for her phone.
717
00:31:24,923 --> 00:31:25,921
Tomorrow? Yeah.
718
00:31:25,990 --> 00:31:27,322
Tomorrow? Okay.
719
00:31:27,391 --> 00:31:28,890
What kind of half-ass shit is that?
720
00:31:28,959 --> 00:31:31,126
There is a killer on the loose.
Babe, I know.
721
00:31:31,195 --> 00:31:32,661
What -- What do you want me to say, man?
722
00:31:32,730 --> 00:31:35,230
This is -- This is small-town mountain village life.
723
00:31:35,299 --> 00:31:36,631
You know?
You know what I mean?
724
00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:38,566
This is what happens in these cities, right?
725
00:31:38,635 --> 00:31:40,768
All the smart, like,
upwardly mobile people,
726
00:31:40,837 --> 00:31:43,404
they move away because there's,
like, shitty jobs here,
727
00:31:43,473 --> 00:31:44,835
and the ones who stick around,
728
00:31:44,904 --> 00:31:46,441
they're all just superstitious idiots.
729
00:31:46,510 --> 00:31:48,343
They believe stuff like,
you know,
730
00:31:48,412 --> 00:31:50,212
the -- the weeping oak or whatever.
731
00:31:50,281 --> 00:31:51,446
Just all this superstitious shit.
732
00:31:51,515 --> 00:31:53,348
That sheriff was a fucking caricature.
733
00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:54,950
And -- And this is it.
You know what I mean?
734
00:31:55,019 --> 00:31:56,051
This is --
This is what happens.
735
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,921
Bang, bang.
736
00:31:58,990 --> 00:32:01,260
-Bang, bang, bang.
-Oh.
737
00:32:03,127 --> 00:32:04,527
Have fun, honey.
738
00:32:04,596 --> 00:32:11,596
♪♪
739
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,898
Rosa, that is some good cornbread!
740
00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,371
I'll tell you what,
some people say
741
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,135
you shouldn't serve cornbread with corn, but I like it.
742
00:32:19,204 --> 00:32:21,811
You could it with grits, too.
That's how much I like corn.
743
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,612
I know that about you,
Isaac.
744
00:32:23,681 --> 00:32:24,847
Mm-hmm.
745
00:32:24,916 --> 00:32:26,916
I'm glad you like my cornbread.
746
00:32:26,985 --> 00:32:28,351
Moist.
748
00:32:30,088 --> 00:32:35,357
Oh. Isaac, can I ask you for a favor?
749
00:32:35,426 --> 00:32:36,992
Of course, Rosa.
What is it?
750
00:32:37,061 --> 00:32:40,963
You're going to Luthor farm Saturday.
751
00:32:41,032 --> 00:32:42,498
Yes.
752
00:32:42,567 --> 00:32:43,999
I made a quilt.
753
00:32:44,068 --> 00:32:46,268
For William.
754
00:32:46,337 --> 00:32:47,802
It is getting cold.
755
00:32:47,871 --> 00:32:50,705
And it wasn't ready when he was sold to Mr. Luthor.
756
00:32:50,774 --> 00:32:53,341
But, um, you know,
he's scared of thunder.
757
00:32:53,410 --> 00:32:58,547
So now he can look at this and every day is blue skies.
758
00:32:58,616 --> 00:33:00,649
Yeah, he always was scared of thunder, that boy.
759
00:33:00,718 --> 00:33:03,151
Mm-hmm.
760
00:33:03,220 --> 00:33:04,852
That's a nice blanket,
Rosa.
761
00:33:04,921 --> 00:33:07,122
I'd like to touch it but I don't want to get corn on it.
762
00:33:07,191 --> 00:33:09,558
It looks soft.
763
00:33:09,627 --> 00:33:11,293
So will you take it to him?
764
00:33:11,362 --> 00:33:14,199
And while you're there,
can you see how he's doing?
765
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,801
Hey, uh, Rosa,
will you do me a favor?
766
00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:22,137
Will you come sit next to me here by the fire?
767
00:33:22,206 --> 00:33:24,476
Pull that chair up,
come sit next to me.
768
00:33:28,078 --> 00:33:29,748
What is it?
769
00:33:32,016 --> 00:33:34,583
Uh...
770
00:33:34,652 --> 00:33:35,650
Rosa, I --
771
00:33:35,719 --> 00:33:40,522
I couldn't sell William to Mr. Luthor.
772
00:33:40,591 --> 00:33:42,090
Yes, sir.
773
00:33:42,159 --> 00:33:44,225
Now, I know we agreed on Mr. Luthor.
774
00:33:44,294 --> 00:33:47,157
But when Daddy found out,
775
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:50,165
he said I needed to auction him to get the best price.
776
00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:52,868
He heard about it.
777
00:33:52,937 --> 00:33:54,169
Well, Mr. Luthor didn't --
778
00:33:54,238 --> 00:33:55,670
Nah. No, Mr., uh --
779
00:33:55,739 --> 00:33:58,707
Mr. Armfield ended up making a higher offer.
780
00:33:58,776 --> 00:34:00,042
Mr. Armfield?
781
00:34:00,111 --> 00:34:02,010
Now, Rosa,
I-I got assurances
782
00:34:02,079 --> 00:34:04,213
that William would be treated well.
783
00:34:04,282 --> 00:34:06,081
But Mr. Armfield,
he's a --
784
00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:07,782
Rosa, I-I got assurances, now.
785
00:34:07,851 --> 00:34:10,151
I looked him in the eye.
No, you gave me your word.
786
00:34:10,220 --> 00:34:12,420
You gave me your word he'd go to Mr. Luthor.
Rosa --
787
00:34:12,489 --> 00:34:14,456
Mr. Luthor, he's a nice man.
Now, now, if Daddy hadn't...
788
00:34:14,525 --> 00:34:15,856
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
789
00:34:15,925 --> 00:34:18,058
Thanks for letting us stay.
Oh, no problem.
790
00:34:18,127 --> 00:34:20,896
You don't have to thank them.
We're paying for it, too.
791
00:34:20,965 --> 00:34:22,163
We shouldn't have to pay anything
792
00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:23,564
'cause the host fucked up,
right?
793
00:34:23,633 --> 00:34:25,134
We're going to figure it out in the morning.
794
00:34:25,203 --> 00:34:27,068
So is there any room off limits?
795
00:34:27,137 --> 00:34:28,871
Actually, our room has our luggage in it,
796
00:34:28,940 --> 00:34:30,938
so it's pretty obvious.
797
00:34:31,007 --> 00:34:35,610
And there's a room upstairs.
And then there's this couch.
798
00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:37,579
Well, Beth and I will take the room upstairs.
799
00:34:37,648 --> 00:34:39,080
Uh, Henry, you cool with the couch?
800
00:34:39,149 --> 00:34:41,950
Huh? Sure. Wait.
What about the basement?
801
00:34:42,019 --> 00:34:43,385
Doesn't that have a bed?
802
00:34:43,454 --> 00:34:46,020
Uh, no, it's got rat traps and cobwebs.
803
00:34:46,089 --> 00:34:49,591
Ohh, I thought it had bunks and, like, a pool table.
804
00:34:49,660 --> 00:34:52,961
No, that was the other place.
This one has the hot tub.
805
00:34:53,030 --> 00:34:55,831
Speaking of which...
806
00:34:55,900 --> 00:34:57,600
let's hot tub!
807
00:34:57,669 --> 00:34:58,634
Okay!
808
00:34:58,703 --> 00:34:59,902
Whoo!
809
00:34:59,971 --> 00:35:01,403
Aw, yeah.
810
00:35:01,472 --> 00:35:02,804
You guys have fun.
811
00:35:02,873 --> 00:35:05,507
Um, excuse me?
You're not gonna come?
812
00:35:05,576 --> 00:35:08,443
Uh, no.
Hot tubs disgust me.
What?
813
00:35:08,512 --> 00:35:10,812
Okay. You don't know
what's been in there.
814
00:35:10,881 --> 00:35:13,715
I'm going to take a shower and wash off the road stank
815
00:35:13,784 --> 00:35:16,318
and Cheeto dust before the edible hits.
816
00:35:16,387 --> 00:35:17,987
You're such a grandma.
818
00:35:19,257 --> 00:35:21,222
Yeah, uh, don't smoke in the house.
819
00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:22,524
We don't want to fuck our deposit.
820
00:35:22,593 --> 00:35:25,127
Yeah. Don't smoke in our house.
821
00:35:25,196 --> 00:35:28,831
Do you two want to hot tub?
822
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:30,633
Uh, why not?
825
00:35:33,770 --> 00:35:37,072
Actually, Alex and I are going to go unpack.
826
00:35:37,141 --> 00:35:39,440
Okay, great.
827
00:35:39,509 --> 00:35:41,777
See you later. Yeah.
828
00:35:41,846 --> 00:35:43,648
Let's go unpack, Alex.
832
00:36:15,712 --> 00:36:19,214
God! I can't be the third wheel in this.
833
00:36:19,283 --> 00:36:21,683
Come on, Henry,
give us a "whoo"!
834
00:36:21,752 --> 00:36:23,919
Henry: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Come on. Whoo!
835
00:36:23,988 --> 00:36:26,116
Don't whoo shame me.
836
00:36:26,185 --> 00:36:27,655
Zoe: I just don't feel comfortable
837
00:36:27,724 --> 00:36:29,491
with them in the house, babe.
838
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,726
Well, I mean, I guess we could -- I don't know?
839
00:36:31,795 --> 00:36:35,197
Sleep in the car?
If you wanted to do that?
840
00:36:35,266 --> 00:36:39,301
C-Can we please just pump the brakes on the doom and gloom?
852
00:37:40,097 --> 00:37:42,663
Oh, my God. Yes, you do!
853
00:37:42,732 --> 00:37:45,735
I do -- I do not just date Asian guys.
854
00:37:45,804 --> 00:37:47,803
-Yes, you do!
-No, I swear!
855
00:37:47,872 --> 00:37:50,605
Oh, my God,
Ryan, Kevin, Park.
856
00:37:50,674 --> 00:37:52,741
Come on, you have total Asian fever.
857
00:37:52,810 --> 00:37:55,678
No, I just like smart, ambitious guys.
858
00:37:55,747 --> 00:37:57,246
It's not a race thing.
859
00:37:57,315 --> 00:38:00,215
Yeah, but I'm not smart or ambitious.
860
00:38:00,284 --> 00:38:01,349
Yes, you are.
861
00:38:01,418 --> 00:38:04,753
So we have a Trivial Pursuit
862
00:38:04,822 --> 00:38:06,555
that looks like it's from the '90s
863
00:38:06,624 --> 00:38:09,790
and...a deck of cards.
864
00:38:09,859 --> 00:38:14,162
Oh, no, I've been burned by rental cards before.
865
00:38:14,231 --> 00:38:16,598
They're always missing that card that I need.
866
00:38:16,667 --> 00:38:18,934
-Mm.
-Okay, you better count them.
867
00:38:19,003 --> 00:38:20,068
You count them.
869
00:38:22,740 --> 00:38:25,373
I'm way too stoned for this.
870
00:38:25,442 --> 00:38:26,811
I'll count them.
871
00:38:29,046 --> 00:38:30,979
Yo!
872
00:38:31,048 --> 00:38:32,982
How much do you make?
873
00:38:33,051 --> 00:38:34,016
What?
874
00:38:34,085 --> 00:38:35,951
You're not supposed to ask that, Henry!
875
00:38:36,020 --> 00:38:38,854
How much do you make doing the videos?
876
00:38:38,923 --> 00:38:41,156
Give me a range.
877
00:38:41,225 --> 00:38:42,857
Um...
878
00:38:42,926 --> 00:38:45,727
Well, it's not like top 10 YouTube influencer money,
879
00:38:45,796 --> 00:38:48,697
but, uh, you know,
I-I get by.
880
00:38:48,766 --> 00:38:50,098
I also work for an ad agency.
881
00:38:50,167 --> 00:38:52,668
Oh. Ooh, that must make a lot of money.
882
00:38:52,737 --> 00:38:54,003
You know, at the ad agency,
883
00:38:54,072 --> 00:38:56,237
I sort if feel like I'm doing pure evil.
884
00:38:56,306 --> 00:39:00,409
But then Zoe helps the coral reefs, so it sorta balances out.
885
00:39:00,478 --> 00:39:01,776
Well, in addition to the podcast,
886
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,512
I also do freelance photography.
887
00:39:03,581 --> 00:39:05,648
No, you don't.
888
00:39:05,717 --> 00:39:07,282
I shot Christy's wedding.
889
00:39:07,351 --> 00:39:08,951
Yeah, but she didn't pay you.
890
00:39:09,020 --> 00:39:11,820
And the podcast doesn't pay yet, either.
891
00:39:11,889 --> 00:39:13,722
He's mostly a drug dealer.
892
00:39:13,791 --> 00:39:15,558
I also went to optometry school.
893
00:39:15,627 --> 00:39:16,926
But you didn't finish.
894
00:39:16,995 --> 00:39:18,293
Yet.
895
00:39:18,362 --> 00:39:23,698
So this whole, like, alien podcast thing you guys do...
896
00:39:23,767 --> 00:39:25,667
Y'all believe that shit?
Like, for real?
897
00:39:25,736 --> 00:39:29,339
Or do y'all just, like,
interested in it ironically?
898
00:39:29,408 --> 00:39:30,739
70/30?
899
00:39:30,808 --> 00:39:33,303
The Esther Dickens thing is real.
900
00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:36,411
She was visited by aliens in 1956.
901
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,112
Here, on this mountain.
902
00:39:38,181 --> 00:39:41,311
They probed all up in her holes and just set her free.
903
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:42,717
A-And When she went to the doctor,
904
00:39:42,786 --> 00:39:44,586
she was like 10 pounds lighter.
905
00:39:44,655 --> 00:39:48,123
And the X-rays showed she was missing organs.
907
00:39:49,793 --> 00:39:52,194
So the aliens, they -- they --
they come all the way here
908
00:39:52,263 --> 00:39:55,030
to snatch a kidney?
909
00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:56,966
I mean, come on, man.
910
00:39:57,035 --> 00:39:58,901
You're like Neil deGrasse Tyson.
911
00:39:58,970 --> 00:40:00,736
Why? 'Cause I'm annoying?
912
00:40:00,805 --> 00:40:03,642
No! 'Cause you're smart.
913
00:40:06,877 --> 00:40:08,113
Hmm.
914
00:40:11,315 --> 00:40:13,616
Who lit the fire?
915
00:40:13,685 --> 00:40:15,984
Um, not us.
916
00:40:16,053 --> 00:40:17,552
Oh, yeah.
The fire's back.
917
00:40:17,621 --> 00:40:18,754
Hey, do you guys want an edible?
918
00:40:18,823 --> 00:40:20,689
-Absolutely.
-No.
919
00:40:20,758 --> 00:40:23,158
They're from Colorado.
They got official packaging.
920
00:40:23,227 --> 00:40:25,360
They're not poisonous.
921
00:40:25,429 --> 00:40:26,895
We're not the killer.
922
00:40:26,964 --> 00:40:29,935
Although that is what the killer would say.
923
00:40:32,436 --> 00:40:33,535
I'm going to bed.
924
00:40:33,604 --> 00:40:35,507
Alex: Okay, I'll be in in a bit.
925
00:40:37,876 --> 00:40:39,474
Is she okay?
926
00:40:39,543 --> 00:40:40,742
Yeah, she'll be fine.
927
00:40:40,811 --> 00:40:43,779
We're just going through some...stuff.
928
00:40:43,848 --> 00:40:46,849
These edibles are very chill.
929
00:40:46,918 --> 00:40:49,051
They might chill her out.
930
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,187
No, I appreciate the sentiment,
but probably not.
931
00:40:52,256 --> 00:40:54,656
She's had a lot of, like,
really fucked-up shit
932
00:40:54,725 --> 00:40:56,157
that's happened to her recently.
933
00:40:56,226 --> 00:40:57,626
Like what?
934
00:40:57,695 --> 00:40:59,662
You're not supposed to say that, Henry.
935
00:40:59,731 --> 00:41:02,365
It's -- It's -- It's fine.
936
00:41:02,434 --> 00:41:04,069
Um...
937
00:41:06,003 --> 00:41:09,972
You guys really can't say anything, okay?
938
00:41:10,041 --> 00:41:10,939
Okay.
939
00:41:11,008 --> 00:41:12,441
So she works for this nonprofit
940
00:41:12,510 --> 00:41:14,943
that helps the coral reefs,
right?
941
00:41:15,012 --> 00:41:16,777
That's cool.
Yeah, very cool.
942
00:41:16,846 --> 00:41:19,448
Wait, I thought the coral reefs were saved.
943
00:41:19,517 --> 00:41:21,050
I have, like,
the suntan lotion.
944
00:41:21,119 --> 00:41:23,522
It, like, says it's safe for the reefs.
946
00:41:28,492 --> 00:41:32,027
Hey! Heeeyyyy! Hey!
947
00:41:32,096 --> 00:41:34,028
Come here!
948
00:41:34,097 --> 00:41:36,898
One night, they're having this, like, uh, auction, right.
949
00:41:36,967 --> 00:41:39,935
Lots of rich people.
Lots of cash flowing.
950
00:41:40,004 --> 00:41:41,136
You know how rich people get.
951
00:41:41,205 --> 00:41:43,371
They just want to save something.
952
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,569
Anyways, part of Zoe's job is to, like, handle the money,
953
00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:49,478
take it to a bank after hours,
drop it off.
954
00:41:49,547 --> 00:41:51,446
So that day she had,
like, her period,
955
00:41:51,515 --> 00:41:53,981
and it was, like, apparently like a heavy-flow kind of day
956
00:41:54,050 --> 00:41:57,786
and it started bleeding through her dress a little bit,
957
00:41:57,855 --> 00:42:00,155
so she asked one of her co-workers,
958
00:42:00,224 --> 00:42:02,857
a girl named Willow,
if she could take the cash.
959
00:42:02,926 --> 00:42:06,461
So Willow does, and then,
like, on the way to the bank,
960
00:42:06,530 --> 00:42:09,498
she gets robbed and murdered.
961
00:42:09,567 --> 00:42:10,966
Oh, shit!
962
00:42:11,035 --> 00:42:13,402
What?
Yeah. Yeah.
963
00:42:13,471 --> 00:42:15,370
But -- Okay, but that's not her fault, though.
964
00:42:15,439 --> 00:42:18,306
Oh, I-I know. I know.
I-I think she knows.
965
00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:20,242
Like, intellectually.
966
00:42:20,311 --> 00:42:23,278
You know, but, like, good luck explaining that to her.
967
00:42:23,347 --> 00:42:25,146
You know, I mean, she still feels like it was her fault.
968
00:42:25,215 --> 00:42:27,843
Like it was supposed to be her,
right?
969
00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:30,752
She, like, bought a gun and she,
like, keeps it in her purse.
970
00:42:30,821 --> 00:42:34,189
I mean, it's like in there right now.
971
00:42:34,258 --> 00:42:35,590
I really shouldn't be telling you this.
972
00:42:35,659 --> 00:42:37,493
Man, I really,
really shouldn't.
973
00:42:37,562 --> 00:42:39,027
We won't say shit.
974
00:42:39,096 --> 00:42:41,831
Alright, so, like,
not too long ago,
975
00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:44,934
she, like, took too many sleeping pills
976
00:42:45,003 --> 00:42:46,735
before she went to bed.
977
00:42:46,804 --> 00:42:48,070
Oh, shit. Yeah, I know.
978
00:42:48,139 --> 00:42:49,404
And she told me that it was an accident,
979
00:42:49,473 --> 00:42:50,705
and I, like, believed her.
980
00:42:50,774 --> 00:42:51,807
I believed her.
That's my girlfriend.
981
00:42:51,876 --> 00:42:53,108
I love her.
Yeah.
982
00:42:53,177 --> 00:42:54,509
But she, like,
went to treatment,
983
00:42:54,578 --> 00:42:55,977
and that was like about a year ago.
984
00:42:56,046 --> 00:42:57,407
She's doing better.
She says she's doing better.
985
00:42:57,476 --> 00:42:58,747
But I don't -- I don't know.
986
00:42:58,816 --> 00:43:00,415
Little man: Come here!
988
00:43:02,887 --> 00:43:06,116
Come here, you little scamp.
989
00:43:06,185 --> 00:43:08,724
Come on over here.
990
00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:12,293
I got something to show ya.
991
00:43:12,362 --> 00:43:14,630
Oh, get on over here.
992
00:43:14,699 --> 00:43:16,135
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
993
00:43:22,807 --> 00:43:25,340
Nicely done, son!
994
00:43:25,409 --> 00:43:27,542
A lot of people have trouble with that.
995
00:43:27,611 --> 00:43:30,011
They burn themselves or whatnot.
996
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,284
But you got right in here.
997
00:43:43,928 --> 00:43:47,029
This is like that meme.
998
00:43:47,098 --> 00:43:47,897
What?
999
00:43:47,966 --> 00:43:50,532
That meme with the dog.
1000
00:43:50,601 --> 00:43:55,031
Where he says,
"This is fine."
1002
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,607
"This is fine."
1003
00:43:58,676 --> 00:44:00,310
You know that?
1004
00:44:00,379 --> 00:44:01,777
Y-Yes.
1005
00:44:01,846 --> 00:44:03,845
But don't you worry.
1006
00:44:03,914 --> 00:44:06,415
This is fine.
1007
00:44:06,484 --> 00:44:08,153
You want a soda?
1008
00:44:10,088 --> 00:44:13,358
I'll take a Dr Pepper.
1012
00:44:29,140 --> 00:44:32,374
Don't you worry about them,
my man.
1013
00:44:32,443 --> 00:44:37,313
They have their path,
and you have yours.
1014
00:44:37,382 --> 00:44:39,648
Hmm.
1015
00:44:39,717 --> 00:44:42,217
No Dr Pepper,
1016
00:44:42,286 --> 00:44:46,822
but I got a Nurse Nutmeg.
1017
00:44:46,891 --> 00:44:49,725
You ever had a Nurse Nutmeg?
1018
00:44:49,794 --> 00:44:51,293
No.
Ah!
1019
00:44:51,362 --> 00:44:54,329
Even better than a Dr Pepper.
1020
00:44:54,398 --> 00:44:56,831
Goes down easier.
1021
00:44:56,900 --> 00:44:58,734
Sorta like it's easier to get an appointment
1022
00:44:58,803 --> 00:45:00,636
with a nurse than a doctor.
1024
00:45:14,017 --> 00:45:16,718
Just pretend to drink it.
It might be poison.
1025
00:45:16,787 --> 00:45:18,587
It's not poison.
1026
00:45:18,656 --> 00:45:20,188
But I get it.
1027
00:45:20,257 --> 00:45:22,690
Just thought you were thirsty.
1028
00:45:22,759 --> 00:45:25,127
Drink it or don't drink it.
1029
00:45:25,196 --> 00:45:32,196
Anyway, that is not what I wanted to show you.
1038
00:46:22,787 --> 00:46:25,090
Goes into the future, too.
1040
00:46:31,896 --> 00:46:34,330
Pretty neat, huh?
1041
00:46:34,399 --> 00:46:35,331
Yeah.
1042
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:36,565
Really?
1043
00:46:36,634 --> 00:46:38,233
You think so?
1044
00:46:38,302 --> 00:46:41,270
Oh, it's so hard to surprise people these days.
1045
00:46:41,339 --> 00:46:43,472
What with the Internet, all the content.
1046
00:46:43,541 --> 00:46:45,174
Special effects.
1047
00:46:45,243 --> 00:46:48,276
Everybody's seen everything.
1048
00:46:48,345 --> 00:46:54,083
So I hear you're the screw-up of the family.
1049
00:46:54,152 --> 00:46:55,150
Nah.
1050
00:46:55,219 --> 00:46:57,886
Hmm...
That's what I just heard.
1051
00:46:57,955 --> 00:47:00,916
Sisters are two doctors.
One's a surgeon?
1052
00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:04,292
Yeah. But, um, my parents just want me to be happy.
1053
00:47:04,361 --> 00:47:06,828
So they're happy you're a drug dealer?
1054
00:47:06,897 --> 00:47:09,499
Well, they don't know that.
1055
00:47:09,568 --> 00:47:11,227
I'm also a podcaster.
1056
00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:13,602
Podcaster!
1057
00:47:13,671 --> 00:47:14,974
Good for you.
1058
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:21,544
What if I told you I could wipe all the failures from your life?
1059
00:47:21,613 --> 00:47:23,048
Wipe it clean?
1060
00:47:25,016 --> 00:47:26,515
Sounds like a trap.
1062
00:47:28,286 --> 00:47:30,753
Ah, you kids don't miss a thing.
1063
00:47:30,822 --> 00:47:33,749
Real street smart,
you kids.
1064
00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:36,692
Your generation are no suckers.
1065
00:47:36,761 --> 00:47:39,789
I'll tell you that.
1066
00:47:39,858 --> 00:47:42,534
Do you recognize that woman there?
1067
00:47:45,770 --> 00:47:47,803
Mom? That's right.
1068
00:47:47,872 --> 00:47:50,338
Any guesses who she's pregnant with?
1069
00:47:50,407 --> 00:47:53,041
Probably me.
Or one of my sisters.
1070
00:47:53,110 --> 00:47:54,910
You is the correct answer.
1071
00:47:54,979 --> 00:47:56,812
She is pregnant with you.
1072
00:47:56,881 --> 00:47:58,813
8 months.
1073
00:47:58,882 --> 00:48:04,489
And I have a way of making your life less disappointing.
1074
00:48:06,691 --> 00:48:08,958
This is a magic marker.
1075
00:48:09,027 --> 00:48:12,360
Or, in this case,
a magic magic marker.
1076
00:48:12,429 --> 00:48:13,828
You go through that fireplace.
1077
00:48:13,897 --> 00:48:18,066
And you see that piece of paper on the coffee table?
1078
00:48:18,135 --> 00:48:20,602
Yeah. You write A++
1079
00:48:20,671 --> 00:48:24,106
on that piece of paper and you put it on the fridge.
1080
00:48:24,175 --> 00:48:26,542
Real quiet now.
Don't wake your mom up.
1081
00:48:26,611 --> 00:48:28,543
You write A++,
1082
00:48:28,612 --> 00:48:33,616
and that baby in her belly will be a success.
1083
00:48:33,685 --> 00:48:35,851
Wh-What if she wakes up?
1084
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,553
That'll terrify her.
1085
00:48:37,622 --> 00:48:39,454
You gotta be quiet.
1086
00:48:39,523 --> 00:48:41,522
I can't make it all easy for you.
1087
00:48:41,591 --> 00:48:44,959
Success requires some risk, son.
1088
00:48:45,028 --> 00:48:49,898
You know, I'm starting to think that is part of your problem.
1089
00:48:49,967 --> 00:48:53,203
No, I'll -- I'll --
I'll do it.
1090
00:48:53,272 --> 00:48:54,974
A++.
1091
00:48:58,943 --> 00:49:00,479
Okay.
1101
00:50:16,387 --> 00:50:18,686
Nicely done, son.
1102
00:50:18,755 --> 00:50:22,390
Your days of failure are behind you now.
1103
00:50:22,459 --> 00:50:24,860
I did exactly what you said.
1104
00:50:24,929 --> 00:50:26,328
A++.
1105
00:50:26,397 --> 00:50:28,330
Right on her stomach.
1106
00:50:28,399 --> 00:50:30,269
What did you say?
1107
00:50:32,871 --> 00:50:34,802
On the refrigerator,
I mean.
1108
00:50:34,871 --> 00:50:38,941
I don't think you followed my instructions.
1109
00:50:39,010 --> 00:50:41,777
Uh, I-I don't know.
1110
00:50:41,846 --> 00:50:43,311
I --
1111
00:50:43,380 --> 00:50:45,713
I think I did.
A++.
1112
00:50:45,782 --> 00:50:48,845
On her stomach.
No, on the refrigerator.
1113
00:50:48,914 --> 00:50:51,053
Were you high when you did it?
1114
00:50:51,122 --> 00:50:53,255
It was a magic marker.
1115
00:50:53,324 --> 00:50:56,328
That, son,
is a kitchen knife.
1116
00:50:58,162 --> 00:51:00,332
It was a magic marker.
1117
00:51:02,862 --> 00:51:04,532
I'd love to argue with you
1118
00:51:04,601 --> 00:51:08,540
but I don't debate with people that don't exist.
1121
00:51:19,283 --> 00:51:22,417
Oh. Well, uh, I think Zoe's pretty lucky
1122
00:51:22,486 --> 00:51:24,720
to have a boyfriend like you.
1123
00:51:24,789 --> 00:51:27,017
Thank you.
1124
00:51:27,086 --> 00:51:28,623
And I'm pretty lucky to have you, too!
1125
00:51:28,692 --> 00:51:32,761
Aw. I'm lucky to have you, babe.
1126
00:51:32,830 --> 00:51:35,064
Ben's lucky to have you.
1127
00:51:35,133 --> 00:51:37,565
Where is Ben?
Is he still showering?
1128
00:51:37,634 --> 00:51:39,168
Maybe he's masturbating.
1129
00:51:39,237 --> 00:51:40,602
Actually, I-I'm gonna go see
1130
00:51:40,671 --> 00:51:43,575
if he got sucked down the drain or something.
1131
00:51:46,639 --> 00:51:47,776
Ben is gross.
1132
00:51:47,845 --> 00:51:48,978
A little bit.
1135
00:51:57,488 --> 00:52:00,055
-What's going on?
-Oh, my God, no!
1136
00:52:00,124 --> 00:52:01,490
Beth?
Hey, what's going on?
1137
00:52:01,559 --> 00:52:02,757
Fuck!
1138
00:52:02,826 --> 00:52:05,661
Shit. D-Don't touch anything.
No, fuck!
1139
00:52:05,730 --> 00:52:06,962
It's evidence.
1140
00:52:07,031 --> 00:52:08,196
Should we move him?
1141
00:52:08,265 --> 00:52:09,397
Should we give him mouth to mouth?
1142
00:52:09,466 --> 00:52:11,600
He doesn't even have a fucking mouth!
1143
00:52:11,669 --> 00:52:13,601
Okay, okay, okay.
Where's the sheriff's card?
1144
00:52:13,670 --> 00:52:14,703
I'm going to call the sheriff.
1145
00:52:14,772 --> 00:52:17,842
No, fuck that.
I'm calling 911.
1146
00:52:18,575 --> 00:52:21,242
It's the curse.
You shouldn't have lit the fire!
1147
00:52:21,311 --> 00:52:23,245
Nobody lit a fucking fire!
1148
00:52:23,314 --> 00:52:25,047
Where were you when we were in the hot tub?
1149
00:52:25,116 --> 00:52:27,216
What, you think I did that shit?
Somebody did.
1150
00:52:27,285 --> 00:52:28,983
Just go away. Go over there.
Fuck you.
1151
00:52:29,052 --> 00:52:31,253
911. What's your emergency?
You need to come now.
1152
00:52:31,322 --> 00:52:32,888
My boyfriend,
he's dead in the shower,
1153
00:52:32,957 --> 00:52:34,655
and his skull is bashed in.
1154
00:52:34,724 --> 00:52:36,425
You say bashed in.
Is he still breathing?
1155
00:52:36,494 --> 00:52:39,761
Of course he's not breathing.
His skull is bashed in --
1157
00:52:44,202 --> 00:52:45,500
Alex: What the fuck!
1158
00:52:45,569 --> 00:52:48,103
Alex, it's the log!
It's the fucking log!
1159
00:52:48,172 --> 00:52:49,471
No, no, no, no, no,
somebody --
1160
00:52:49,540 --> 00:52:50,771
somebody threw it and they're still here.
1161
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,640
It wasn't thrown.
I saw it. It just flew.
1162
00:52:52,709 --> 00:52:54,477
No, no, no, no, no, baby.
No, that's impossible, okay.
1163
00:52:54,546 --> 00:52:56,044
That is impossible.
1164
00:52:56,113 --> 00:52:58,413
It wasn't thrown, Alex!
1165
00:52:58,482 --> 00:53:00,783
Either way, this log's going to burn the house down.
1169
00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:16,401
Ah, fuck!
1170
00:53:19,203 --> 00:53:20,564
No!
1172
00:53:27,677 --> 00:53:29,644
911. What's your emergency?
1173
00:53:29,713 --> 00:53:30,980
Hey, we need your help.
People are murdered!
1174
00:53:31,049 --> 00:53:32,914
Don't say it's a flying log.
They won't come.
1175
00:53:32,983 --> 00:53:34,683
Do you have an address?
I-I-I don't know.
1176
00:53:34,752 --> 00:53:37,553
It's an Airbnb.
It's -- It's Booth Mountain.
1177
00:53:37,622 --> 00:53:39,115
Booth Mountain, uh...
1178
00:53:39,184 --> 00:53:40,922
Please. There's --
There's a log.
1179
00:53:40,991 --> 00:53:42,890
It's pounding on the door!
Alright. Stay calm.
1180
00:53:42,959 --> 00:53:44,692
Can you pull up the address on an app?
1181
00:53:44,761 --> 00:53:46,495
Do you have an e-mail with the address?
1182
00:53:46,564 --> 00:53:48,062
Can't you track it?
1183
00:53:48,131 --> 00:53:50,264
Baby, hey, I forwarded you that e-mail confirmation yesterday.
1184
00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,467
Just -- Just check your e-mail.
I can't pull up the address for you
1185
00:53:52,536 --> 00:53:53,735
'cause I'm on the phone right now!
1186
00:53:53,804 --> 00:53:55,804
Please, there is a log at the door!
1187
00:53:55,873 --> 00:53:58,173
Okay, you say someone is pounding a log on your door?
1188
00:53:58,242 --> 00:53:59,707
No, no one is pounding the log!
1189
00:53:59,776 --> 00:54:02,544
The log is fucking flying by itself!
1190
00:54:02,613 --> 00:54:05,180
Oh, God.
1191
00:54:05,249 --> 00:54:06,782
It stopped.
1192
00:54:06,851 --> 00:54:08,217
Maybe it's gone.
1193
00:54:08,286 --> 00:54:09,484
Wait, wait. Okay.
1194
00:54:09,553 --> 00:54:11,119
The sheriff came by the house today.
1195
00:54:11,188 --> 00:54:13,788
And he warned us about the log.
We got in trouble for it.
1196
00:54:13,857 --> 00:54:15,190
Yeah, the sheriff will know where we are!
1197
00:54:15,259 --> 00:54:16,591
You mean a police officer?
1198
00:54:16,660 --> 00:54:18,994
No, no, no, no, the sheriff and his deputy.
1199
00:54:19,063 --> 00:54:20,529
We don't have a sheriff.
1200
00:54:20,598 --> 00:54:22,530
We have a chief of police.
Her name is Chief Mackies.
1201
00:54:22,599 --> 00:54:25,200
God damn it!
It's a sheriff.
1203
00:54:27,271 --> 00:54:28,637
Hello?
1204
00:54:28,706 --> 00:54:29,909
Hello?
1205
00:54:32,777 --> 00:54:33,845
Zoe!
1206
00:54:34,513 --> 00:54:36,378
Log: Arson!
1207
00:54:36,447 --> 00:54:38,248
Arson!
1208
00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:39,815
Arson!
1209
00:54:39,884 --> 00:54:41,083
Go, go, go!
1210
00:54:41,152 --> 00:54:42,818
Go, go, go.
1212
00:54:44,389 --> 00:54:45,787
No, no.
1213
00:54:45,856 --> 00:54:48,556
-What?
-Trust me. Come on.
1214
00:54:48,625 --> 00:54:51,496
Come on. Come on.
Come, come.
1215
00:54:53,765 --> 00:54:54,929
Okay.
1216
00:54:54,998 --> 00:54:56,831
Why did you bring us in here?
We are trapped!
1217
00:54:56,900 --> 00:54:59,501
No, no, no, no, no, hey, hey,
this is the best place.
1218
00:54:59,570 --> 00:55:01,331
There's no windows, look!
1219
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,606
What about Holly?
1220
00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:05,640
It's going to get Holly.
1221
00:55:05,709 --> 00:55:07,642
Holly --
Holly will be fine.
1222
00:55:07,711 --> 00:55:09,612
She ran outside.
She's probably at the car.
1224
00:55:11,916 --> 00:55:14,049
It's okay.
No, no, no, it's okay.
1225
00:55:14,118 --> 00:55:15,717
We're going to be fine.
We're going to be fine.
1226
00:55:15,786 --> 00:55:17,485
No, we're not.
Shhh!
1227
00:55:17,554 --> 00:55:19,520
Keep your voice down, okay,
please.
1228
00:55:19,589 --> 00:55:21,857
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
1229
00:55:21,926 --> 00:55:23,724
Do you still have your phone?
1230
00:55:23,793 --> 00:55:26,661
No, it died when I was on the phone with 911.
1231
00:55:26,730 --> 00:55:28,730
Okay, that's good.
Okay, that's good, that's good.
1232
00:55:28,799 --> 00:55:30,899
No! They're not coming, Alex.
1233
00:55:30,968 --> 00:55:32,701
Of course they're coming.
You hung up on them.
1234
00:55:32,770 --> 00:55:34,269
They don't know where we are.
1235
00:55:34,338 --> 00:55:35,537
Did you not hear the log?
1236
00:55:35,606 --> 00:55:38,207
It was crying!
It's from hell.
1237
00:55:38,276 --> 00:55:39,674
It's not from hell,
okay!
1238
00:55:39,743 --> 00:55:42,678
Some psychopath in the woods is fucking with us.
1239
00:55:42,747 --> 00:55:45,013
That's all.
That's all!
1240
00:55:45,082 --> 00:55:49,245
The -- The -- The crying is prerecorded or something.
1241
00:55:49,314 --> 00:55:50,952
A-And -- And there's a drone in the wood.
1242
00:55:51,021 --> 00:55:52,654
That's how it can fly around.
What?
1243
00:55:52,723 --> 00:55:55,623
No drone can do that, okay?
It's a cursed log.
1244
00:55:55,692 --> 00:55:57,059
This is not some Scooby-Doo shit, okay?
1245
00:55:57,128 --> 00:55:58,560
We're gonna be safe in here for the night, okay.
1246
00:55:58,629 --> 00:56:00,963
We're gonna hide and be safe.
1247
00:56:01,032 --> 00:56:03,131
That thing's not gonna be active during the day.
1248
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,599
You don't know that.
1249
00:56:04,668 --> 00:56:07,668
We had that fire going all day long and nothing happened.
1250
00:56:07,737 --> 00:56:09,838
Hmm? Nothing happened till the sun went down.
1251
00:56:09,907 --> 00:56:11,306
But did you hear what it was yelling?
1252
00:56:11,375 --> 00:56:12,808
It was yelling,
"Arson, arson."
1253
00:56:12,877 --> 00:56:15,010
It's going to burn us alive.
1254
00:56:15,079 --> 00:56:17,779
Alex. Okay, okay.
1255
00:56:17,848 --> 00:56:21,817
Okay, listen, first sign of smoke comes under that door,
1256
00:56:21,886 --> 00:56:23,886
we'll make a break for it, okay?
1257
00:56:23,955 --> 00:56:25,720
Th-There --
Th-There's an axe --
1258
00:56:25,789 --> 00:56:26,956
There's an axe on the front porch.
1259
00:56:27,025 --> 00:56:30,258
We get the axe,
we get to my car,
1260
00:56:30,327 --> 00:56:33,461
we get off this mountain.
1261
00:56:33,530 --> 00:56:35,063
The sheriff was a fake sheriff.
1262
00:56:35,132 --> 00:56:37,465
When he came in, he sprinkled something on the log.
1263
00:56:37,534 --> 00:56:38,867
I-I didn't think anything of it.
1264
00:56:38,936 --> 00:56:40,568
What are you talking about?
What are you --
1265
00:56:40,637 --> 00:56:42,504
I didn't think anything of it.
1266
00:56:42,573 --> 00:56:44,072
He must be, like, in on it or something.
1267
00:56:44,141 --> 00:56:46,408
I'm sure he cast, like,
an evil spell.
1268
00:56:46,477 --> 00:56:49,711
Zoe, come on.
1269
00:56:49,780 --> 00:56:51,712
You still don't believe it's a curse.
1270
00:56:51,781 --> 00:56:53,748
With all due respect, babe,
no, I don't.
1271
00:56:53,817 --> 00:56:56,618
If -- If brutality against Blacks and Native Americans
1272
00:56:56,687 --> 00:56:58,887
in this country caused curses,
1273
00:56:58,956 --> 00:57:01,891
then murderous logs would be as common as fuckin' Starbucks.
1274
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,925
And they aren't.
They just aren't.
1275
00:57:03,994 --> 00:57:07,496
A tiny drone cannot lift a guy.
1276
00:57:07,565 --> 00:57:10,499
Fine. You know what?
I hope it is a curse.
1277
00:57:10,568 --> 00:57:12,400
I do.
We'll write a book.
1278
00:57:12,469 --> 00:57:14,236
A best seller.
We'll be fuckin' rich.
1279
00:57:14,305 --> 00:57:15,504
Oh, my God, Alex.
1280
00:57:15,573 --> 00:57:16,672
If we survive.
1281
00:57:16,741 --> 00:57:19,441
We are going to survive.
1282
00:57:19,510 --> 00:57:21,777
This is a heavy door, babe.
1283
00:57:21,846 --> 00:57:24,079
No windows.
It can't get in.
1284
00:57:24,148 --> 00:57:28,650
We're in the best place to be right now.
1285
00:57:28,719 --> 00:57:31,686
Oh, my God, my camera.
1286
00:57:31,755 --> 00:57:34,323
My camera's still downstairs.
It's rolling!
1287
00:57:34,392 --> 00:57:37,359
We're gonna have evidence of this, everything that happened!
1288
00:57:37,428 --> 00:57:38,660
We'll sell it.
1289
00:57:38,729 --> 00:57:40,161
They'll make a movie out of this.
1290
00:57:40,230 --> 00:57:41,964
Who do you want to play you?
We're going to die, Alex.
1291
00:57:42,033 --> 00:57:43,799
We are not going to die.
We are not going to die.
1292
00:57:43,868 --> 00:57:46,068
Look at me.
Look at me.
1293
00:57:46,137 --> 00:57:47,403
I love you.
1294
00:57:47,472 --> 00:57:49,871
Do you love me?
1295
00:57:49,940 --> 00:57:51,541
I'm gonna need a vocal confirmation on that, babe.
1296
00:57:51,610 --> 00:57:52,674
Yeah? Yeah?
Yes.
1297
00:57:52,743 --> 00:57:53,776
Okay, good.
I love you, too.
1298
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,545
Do you trust me?
Yes.
1299
00:57:55,614 --> 00:57:56,879
I trust you, too.
1300
00:57:56,948 --> 00:57:58,614
You're the fiercest woman
I know.
1302
00:58:04,021 --> 00:58:06,020
I kinda think Chris Pratt should play me.
1303
00:58:06,089 --> 00:58:08,451
We need butts in seats, babe.
We're gonna need a name.
1304
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,759
Alright? This is gonna be a blockbuster.
1305
00:58:11,828 --> 00:58:14,829
So you think this is gonna be a theatrical movie?
1306
00:58:14,898 --> 00:58:18,633
Not some, like --
like, straight to Netflix --
1307
00:58:18,702 --> 00:58:20,469
Babe, of course this is theatrical release.
1308
00:58:20,538 --> 00:58:21,603
Look -- Look around you!
1309
00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,571
This is not straight-to-DVD shit
1310
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:24,974
that's happening to us in this house right now!
1311
00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:26,541
It's bad.
Yeah, it's really bad.
1312
00:58:26,610 --> 00:58:28,576
It's awful. It's like the first proven example
1313
00:58:28,645 --> 00:58:30,711
of real supernatural shit.
1314
00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:34,649
This is gonna be, like,
Marvel movie big.
1315
00:58:34,718 --> 00:58:37,019
Now, who do you want to play you?
1318
00:58:40,657 --> 00:58:43,358
Arson!
1319
00:58:43,427 --> 00:58:44,560
Go, go, go!
1321
00:58:46,029 --> 00:58:49,465
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on!
1328
00:59:10,955 --> 00:59:13,522
No.
1331
00:59:18,161 --> 00:59:22,164
Remember, now, say nice things to 'em.
1332
00:59:22,233 --> 00:59:24,766
Girls, they like to be complimented.
1333
00:59:24,835 --> 00:59:26,401
Zoe! Nice things.
1335
00:59:29,073 --> 00:59:30,472
Zoe!
1336
00:59:30,541 --> 00:59:31,973
Zoe!
1337
00:59:32,042 --> 00:59:33,841
Zoe!
1338
00:59:33,910 --> 00:59:38,308
I would not get in the way of my son and his date.
1339
00:59:38,377 --> 00:59:40,981
You don't wanna do that.
Nope.
1340
00:59:41,050 --> 00:59:43,951
It's like getting in the way of a lion and his food.
1341
00:59:44,020 --> 00:59:48,223
Listen, um, we are all in a lot of danger.
1342
00:59:48,292 --> 00:59:52,088
This -- This house is,
uh -- It's cursed.
1343
00:59:52,157 --> 00:59:53,228
I swear to God.
1344
00:59:53,297 --> 00:59:56,135
Did you see all the fucking bodies outside?!
1345
00:59:57,262 --> 00:59:58,667
We all in danger.
1347
01:00:01,873 --> 01:00:03,706
Every day is danger.
1348
01:00:03,775 --> 01:00:06,474
You been out there?
1349
01:00:06,543 --> 01:00:09,178
People batshit crazy.
1350
01:00:09,247 --> 01:00:14,349
Eenie, meenie...
1351
01:00:14,418 --> 01:00:20,556
eenie, meenie...
1352
01:00:20,625 --> 01:00:22,624
eenie...
1353
01:00:22,693 --> 01:00:25,428
Pick her. She's -- She's prettier than me!
...meenie...
1354
01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,862
P-Pick her.
1355
01:00:26,931 --> 01:00:29,064
She's prettier.
1356
01:00:29,133 --> 01:00:32,695
Don't pick me.
No. Eenie, meenie...
1357
01:00:32,764 --> 01:00:36,171
eenie, meenie...
Don't pick me, no. No.
1358
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,875
...eenie, moe.
Please, no! No!
1359
01:00:39,944 --> 01:00:42,378
No! No!
1360
01:00:42,447 --> 01:00:44,313
No! No!
1361
01:00:44,382 --> 01:00:45,180
Meenie!
1362
01:00:45,249 --> 01:00:46,749
No, no, no,
no, no, no!
1364
01:00:47,952 --> 01:00:49,619
No, no!
God, no!
1365
01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:52,688
No! No! No!
1368
01:01:00,665 --> 01:01:02,434
What's your name?
1369
01:01:05,597 --> 01:01:07,803
You can call me Mother,
honey.
1370
01:01:07,872 --> 01:01:11,807
Mother?
Okay.
1371
01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:13,574
It's nice to meet you,
Mother.
1372
01:01:13,643 --> 01:01:15,944
My name's Alex.
Oh.
1373
01:01:16,013 --> 01:01:20,014
You're doing that thing where you befriend me.
1374
01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:24,653
So I see you as a human being instead of a victim
1375
01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:26,121
so I won't harm you.
1377
01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:31,392
Oh, well, you such a smart one.
1378
01:01:31,461 --> 01:01:33,161
No, no, no. It doesn't have to be like that, okay?
1379
01:01:33,230 --> 01:01:35,063
We can get out of here.
You can let me go.
1380
01:01:35,132 --> 01:01:36,865
I can -- I can give you money.
1381
01:01:36,934 --> 01:01:38,800
I-I-I have an engagement ring, right?
1382
01:01:38,869 --> 01:01:41,102
What -- What -- What is it that you want?
1383
01:01:41,171 --> 01:01:42,805
What do you want, Mother?
What do you want?
1384
01:01:42,874 --> 01:01:46,008
Well, what do I want?
1385
01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:48,476
Hoo-wee!
1386
01:01:48,545 --> 01:01:50,282
What don't I want?
1387
01:01:53,718 --> 01:01:55,017
Mind my manners.
1388
01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:59,858
Now, do you want here some of this pimento cheese?
1389
01:02:00,719 --> 01:02:03,195
I've been hogging it all.
Come on.
1390
01:02:04,896 --> 01:02:06,862
Come on. Now...
1392
01:02:09,366 --> 01:02:12,300
You too high class for pimento cheese?
1393
01:02:12,369 --> 01:02:14,637
You wish it was foie gras?
1394
01:02:14,706 --> 01:02:16,304
Aah!
1395
01:02:16,373 --> 01:02:17,740
Oh, you vegan?
1396
01:02:17,809 --> 01:02:22,177
Just try pimento...
cheese.
1398
01:02:28,719 --> 01:02:30,318
It's pretty good pimento cheese
1399
01:02:30,387 --> 01:02:32,821
for store-bought pimento cheese.
1401
01:02:38,930 --> 01:02:41,833
Anyway, what do I want?
1402
01:02:45,403 --> 01:02:47,669
I want a grandbaby.
1403
01:02:47,738 --> 01:02:51,543
I want my son to give me a grandbaby.
1404
01:02:52,809 --> 01:02:54,810
But you can't get a woman pregnant
1405
01:02:54,879 --> 01:02:58,714
when you keep murdering them, you know?!
1406
01:02:58,783 --> 01:03:00,781
It don't make no sense.
1407
01:03:00,850 --> 01:03:03,151
If he can just click with one of 'em,
1408
01:03:03,220 --> 01:03:05,488
we can keep her in the basement.
1409
01:03:05,557 --> 01:03:07,823
We got a nice basement.
1410
01:03:07,892 --> 01:03:10,893
Have a basement family,
huh?
1411
01:03:10,962 --> 01:03:13,362
All safe, all warm.
1412
01:03:13,431 --> 01:03:16,969
If he could just click with one of 'em.
1413
01:03:19,603 --> 01:03:23,004
It's enough to make me want to adopt a Chinese baby.
1414
01:03:23,073 --> 01:03:25,911
How'd that look in church?
1415
01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:32,948
Maybe my son is gonna marry your girlfriend, huh?
1417
01:03:34,985 --> 01:03:37,653
'Cause right about now,
it don't sound like
1418
01:03:37,722 --> 01:03:39,422
she wants to marry you.
1420
01:03:42,561 --> 01:03:45,927
Oh, we was listening.
1421
01:03:45,996 --> 01:03:49,298
That's how come we learned...
1422
01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:51,934
she has a little gun.
1423
01:03:52,003 --> 01:03:53,702
She got a little gun.
1425
01:04:00,745 --> 01:04:05,213
Well...mm, you know,
1426
01:04:05,282 --> 01:04:06,815
there's so many different ways
1427
01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:08,517
to meet women these days.
1428
01:04:08,586 --> 01:04:10,585
Mm-hmm.
1429
01:04:10,654 --> 01:04:13,522
I think he can meet a really nice girl.
1430
01:04:13,591 --> 01:04:16,225
A girl that likes him for him, you know?
1431
01:04:16,294 --> 01:04:19,060
Um, yeah, he can use an app.
I can show him.
1432
01:04:19,129 --> 01:04:21,297
I met Zoe on Bumble.
1433
01:04:21,366 --> 01:04:23,332
Bumble?
1434
01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:24,934
That would be about right for him.
1435
01:04:25,003 --> 01:04:27,803
He's always bumbling.
1436
01:04:27,872 --> 01:04:30,705
Now...
1437
01:04:30,774 --> 01:04:33,976
sometimes, Alex,
your kids will disappoint you.
1438
01:04:34,045 --> 01:04:36,111
Now, his daddy...
1439
01:04:36,180 --> 01:04:39,915
Well, his Daddy was an insulation salesman.
1440
01:04:39,984 --> 01:04:43,419
He could sell dumbbells to a drowning man.
1441
01:04:43,488 --> 01:04:45,120
Hmm.
1442
01:04:45,189 --> 01:04:48,323
My son can't sell shit on account of he's dumb.
1443
01:04:48,392 --> 01:04:50,592
No, no, no, no, there's a shortage in the trades.
1444
01:04:50,661 --> 01:04:53,495
Mm-hmm. There's a lack of good tradesman.
1445
01:04:53,564 --> 01:04:55,030
You know, heating and air,
plumbing, garbagemen.
1446
01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,531
You know?
1447
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:58,400
You look at guys like that,
they're all over 50.
1448
01:04:58,469 --> 01:05:00,135
Right?
They're all over 50!
1449
01:05:00,204 --> 01:05:02,671
'Cause kids don't want to do it anymore.
1450
01:05:02,740 --> 01:05:03,939
But it's good work!
1451
01:05:04,008 --> 01:05:05,340
It's really,
really good work.
1452
01:05:05,409 --> 01:05:06,975
It pays 100 grand a year.
He could do that.
1453
01:05:07,044 --> 01:05:08,877
He can get a girl and a house.
1454
01:05:08,946 --> 01:05:11,380
It's possible!
1455
01:05:11,449 --> 01:05:13,415
Would that it were so, Alex.
1456
01:05:13,484 --> 01:05:16,051
You paint a pretty picture.
100 grand.
1457
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:17,886
It's possible,
it's possible!
1458
01:05:17,955 --> 01:05:19,883
I can show you.
1459
01:05:19,952 --> 01:05:21,557
I can show you both a different way.
1460
01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:24,392
You know, you're right.
1461
01:05:24,461 --> 01:05:27,129
You're so right.
I'm so glad we talking.
1462
01:05:27,198 --> 01:05:30,135
Let me --
Let me cut these ropes.
1463
01:05:31,369 --> 01:05:35,404
Let me go tell my son to stop his mess.
1464
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:38,139
Oh, my God, God bless you,
Mother.
1465
01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:41,146
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
1466
01:05:50,221 --> 01:05:53,917
You must think I'm really stupid.
1467
01:05:53,986 --> 01:05:58,293
"Oh, I bet she's just a stupid bitch," huh?
1468
01:05:58,362 --> 01:06:01,196
"your son could be a plumber!"
1470
01:06:02,534 --> 01:06:03,598
Zoe!
1471
01:06:03,667 --> 01:06:06,205
Come on, hang on, baby!
We're gonna be fine!
1474
01:06:20,017 --> 01:06:22,585
I like your boobies.
Mnh-mnh.
1477
01:06:28,827 --> 01:06:30,562
You wanna see my body?
1478
01:06:32,763 --> 01:06:33,762
I'm strong!
1479
01:06:33,831 --> 01:06:35,564
No! Please! No!
1480
01:06:35,633 --> 01:06:36,966
No!
1483
01:06:42,674 --> 01:06:44,840
No, no. No.
1484
01:06:44,909 --> 01:06:46,875
No! No! No! No!
No! No!
1485
01:06:46,944 --> 01:06:49,645
No!! No! No! No!
1486
01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:51,146
No, no.
1487
01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,650
No. No. No!
1489
01:06:57,621 --> 01:07:00,625
Do you want to see my ding dong?
1494
01:07:27,518 --> 01:07:29,118
Mr. Luthor,
he's a nice man!
1495
01:07:29,187 --> 01:07:30,585
Now, if daddy hadn't loaned me that money,
1496
01:07:30,654 --> 01:07:32,554
I'd have lost this place and then you all be scattered.
1497
01:07:32,623 --> 01:07:35,024
Everybody!
You promised.
1498
01:07:35,093 --> 01:07:37,158
How could I justify to Daddy
1499
01:07:37,227 --> 01:07:38,593
selling your boy for less money?
1500
01:07:38,662 --> 01:07:41,696
Wha- what would I say?
"I'm -- I'm fond of him"?
1501
01:07:41,765 --> 01:07:43,766
I mean, what would that sound like, Rosa?
1502
01:07:43,835 --> 01:07:45,700
Mr. Armfield is a devil.
1503
01:07:45,769 --> 01:07:47,635
And he's a businessman,
too, now.
1504
01:07:47,704 --> 01:07:49,637
He's cuttin' ears off,
he's cuttin' toes off.
1505
01:07:49,706 --> 01:07:51,840
Oh, my baby! My baby!
Just the bad ones, Rosa!
1506
01:07:51,909 --> 01:07:53,108
It's just the bad ones!
1507
01:07:53,177 --> 01:07:54,642
If he kept doing that to all his slaves,
1508
01:07:54,711 --> 01:07:56,445
he wouldn't have much of a business now, would he?
1509
01:07:56,514 --> 01:07:59,281
You gave me your word and now all you're giving me
1510
01:07:59,350 --> 01:08:00,849
is excuses!
Rosa! Shh! Shh!
1511
01:08:00,918 --> 01:08:03,584
People will hear you!
Mrs. Booth is in the other room.
1512
01:08:03,653 --> 01:08:06,989
Now, take this to the cookhouse.
1513
01:08:07,058 --> 01:08:08,827
Alright?
I'm -- I'm finished.
1514
01:08:10,661 --> 01:08:13,062
I wish I could done Mr. Luthor.
1515
01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,930
Would that it were so.
1516
01:08:14,999 --> 01:08:16,999
But your son is a good boy.
1517
01:08:17,068 --> 01:08:18,366
Your son is a good worker.
1518
01:08:18,435 --> 01:08:20,636
He's our son!
1519
01:08:20,705 --> 01:08:21,769
He's our son!
1520
01:08:21,838 --> 01:08:24,539
Our son! Our son!
Our son! Our son!
1521
01:08:24,608 --> 01:08:27,843
Our son! Our son!
Our son! Our son!
1522
01:08:27,912 --> 01:08:30,613
Log: Our son! Our son!
1523
01:08:30,682 --> 01:08:36,485
♪♪
1524
01:08:36,554 --> 01:08:40,325
Mommy, no!
You're hurting me!
1525
01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:44,329
No son of mine is gonna...
1526
01:08:45,396 --> 01:08:48,531
I have nowhere to go!
1529
01:08:58,342 --> 01:09:00,643
You never loved me!
1534
01:09:17,461 --> 01:09:20,128
I'm not a sodomite!
1537
01:09:30,607 --> 01:09:34,509
Pardon my old-lady,
pimento-cheese breath.
1538
01:09:34,578 --> 01:09:37,946
But then you have pimento-cheese breath, too.
1539
01:09:38,015 --> 01:09:40,382
Don't fuckin' touch me!
Don't fuckin' -- Mnh!
1541
01:09:45,322 --> 01:09:48,656
Hey! Police!
Help! Help!
1542
01:09:48,725 --> 01:09:50,959
We're in here!
1543
01:09:51,028 --> 01:09:53,128
We called the police!
1544
01:09:53,197 --> 01:09:55,430
Oh, you stupid fucking bitch!
1545
01:09:55,499 --> 01:09:58,629
You and Pleatherface are fucked!
1546
01:09:58,698 --> 01:10:01,536
Help! Help!
1547
01:10:01,605 --> 01:10:03,838
Help! We're in here!
The killers are in here!
1548
01:10:03,907 --> 01:10:06,511
Does that look like a police car to you?
1549
01:10:09,513 --> 01:10:12,147
Arvid, we got company!
1551
01:10:17,354 --> 01:10:20,525
Oh.
1552
01:10:23,527 --> 01:10:25,695
You don't belong here.
1554
01:10:31,636 --> 01:10:33,001
Arvid!
1558
01:10:51,055 --> 01:10:52,587
Hey, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1559
01:10:52,656 --> 01:10:56,491
I'm not with her.
My name is Alex.
1560
01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:58,460
If you have faster-than-light travel,
1561
01:10:58,529 --> 01:11:00,761
then I know that you're an advanced race
1562
01:11:00,830 --> 01:11:04,365
and you can probably understand me, okay?
1563
01:11:04,434 --> 01:11:05,934
If you have faster-than-light travel,
1564
01:11:06,003 --> 01:11:07,870
then you're --
then you're civilized!
1565
01:11:07,939 --> 01:11:10,266
Um, please just --
just release me.
1566
01:11:10,335 --> 01:11:11,806
If you have faster-than-light travel,
1567
01:11:11,875 --> 01:11:13,941
then you have empathy.
You have empathy, right?
1568
01:11:14,010 --> 01:11:16,945
I-I don't want to be here.
Please! Please!
1569
01:11:17,014 --> 01:11:18,681
You have faster-than-light tra--
1570
01:11:18,750 --> 01:11:21,183
Aaaaah!
1571
01:11:21,252 --> 01:11:23,751
You're hurting me!
1572
01:11:23,820 --> 01:11:27,022
Oh, my God. That's a silver alien.
1573
01:11:27,091 --> 01:11:28,224
They're the worst ones.
1574
01:11:28,293 --> 01:11:29,786
Fuck!
1575
01:11:29,855 --> 01:11:33,128
Alex!
1576
01:11:33,197 --> 01:11:34,329
Alex!
1577
01:11:34,398 --> 01:11:36,693
Shut the fuck up.
1578
01:11:36,762 --> 01:11:38,971
Play dead.
1581
01:11:51,482 --> 01:11:54,983
No, no, no! No.
1582
01:11:55,052 --> 01:11:57,285
No. Fuck! No.
1584
01:11:59,456 --> 01:12:02,091
No, no. No, fuck!
1586
01:12:04,094 --> 01:12:06,731
No! Please! No!
1587
01:12:07,966 --> 01:12:10,933
No. No.
1590
01:12:16,074 --> 01:12:17,940
Isaac?
1591
01:12:18,009 --> 01:12:19,474
Isaac?!
1592
01:12:19,543 --> 01:12:22,844
No! Rosa, what in -- No!
1593
01:12:22,913 --> 01:12:25,548
Mourner: Such a shame.
She was so young.
1594
01:12:25,617 --> 01:12:26,982
She would've been so pretty
1595
01:12:27,051 --> 01:12:28,583
if she just kept that weight off.
1596
01:12:28,652 --> 01:12:30,685
I promise.
It's not what it looks like!
1597
01:12:30,754 --> 01:12:32,954
I'm not a sodomite.
I'm not a sodomite!
1598
01:12:33,023 --> 01:12:35,457
I'm not -- I'm not off!
1599
01:12:35,526 --> 01:12:37,493
Fuck! Oh!
1602
01:12:47,166 --> 01:12:49,199
Bang, bang.
I got you!
1603
01:12:49,268 --> 01:12:51,735
Only in my shoulder.
Bang! Bang!
1605
01:12:56,347 --> 01:12:58,213
What is it?
1606
01:12:58,282 --> 01:12:59,482
An old knife.
1607
01:12:59,551 --> 01:13:00,816
It's rusted.
1608
01:13:00,885 --> 01:13:04,753
Ooh,
I bet that's blood.
1609
01:13:04,822 --> 01:13:07,355
I bet Indians used it to scalp a woman.
1610
01:13:07,424 --> 01:13:09,458
Indians didn't have knives,
ya dope.
1611
01:13:09,527 --> 01:13:11,660
A cowboy might've used it to kill an Indian.
1612
01:13:11,729 --> 01:13:13,495
A whole mess of Indians.
1613
01:13:13,564 --> 01:13:15,030
What did I tell you boys
1614
01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:17,132
about roughhousing in the family room?
1615
01:13:17,201 --> 01:13:18,829
Sorry, Mom!
1616
01:13:18,898 --> 01:13:20,369
Go play outside.
1621
01:13:38,089 --> 01:13:40,088
Please.
1625
01:13:55,106 --> 01:13:56,372
You love me.
1627
01:13:59,010 --> 01:14:01,344
You will now touch me under.
1628
01:14:01,413 --> 01:14:04,016
Aaaah!
1629
01:14:07,385 --> 01:14:09,952
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
1634
01:14:34,912 --> 01:14:36,979
Alex! Oh, my God, baby!
1635
01:14:37,048 --> 01:14:39,447
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
1636
01:14:39,516 --> 01:14:40,983
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on.
1637
01:14:41,052 --> 01:14:42,818
Come on.
Do you hear me?
1638
01:14:42,887 --> 01:14:45,653
Zoe?
Yeah. Yeah, baby, it's me.
1639
01:14:45,722 --> 01:14:47,656
We're getting the fuck out of here, you understand?
1640
01:14:47,725 --> 01:14:50,092
Everything's gonna be okay.
Kill me.
1641
01:14:50,161 --> 01:14:51,726
No, no, no, no, no,
do not say that.
1642
01:14:51,795 --> 01:14:53,262
I know you're still in there, baby, okay?
1643
01:14:53,331 --> 01:14:54,663
Kill me.
You're just in shock.
1644
01:14:54,732 --> 01:14:56,159
You're just in shock,
it's okay.
1645
01:14:56,228 --> 01:14:58,834
Just let me sleep.
Aah!
1646
01:14:58,903 --> 01:15:01,103
Get up!
Get up, get up, come on!
1647
01:15:01,172 --> 01:15:02,471
Get the fuck up, Alex!
1648
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,005
Come on.
1650
01:15:06,044 --> 01:15:09,444
Just stay with me, okay?
Yeah?
1651
01:15:09,513 --> 01:15:11,947
Let's get
to the fucking car.
1652
01:15:12,016 --> 01:15:13,014
My camera.
1653
01:15:13,083 --> 01:15:14,987
Fuck your camera, babe,
come on.
1654
01:15:16,353 --> 01:15:19,654
Fuck! Fuck!
1655
01:15:19,723 --> 01:15:21,892
I'm sorry I told him to pick you.
1656
01:15:22,859 --> 01:15:25,561
I'm gonna get us out of here, Willow.
1657
01:15:25,630 --> 01:15:28,331
My name is Holly.
1658
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:31,200
Little Man: Hey!
1659
01:15:31,269 --> 01:15:34,002
Hey!
1660
01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:37,606
Come here, girl.
1661
01:15:37,675 --> 01:15:39,341
Come on!
1662
01:15:39,410 --> 01:15:41,180
I won't bite.
1663
01:15:45,316 --> 01:15:47,019
Come on, girl.
1664
01:15:49,653 --> 01:15:52,288
Little farther.
Mm-hmm.
1667
01:16:06,470 --> 01:16:08,604
You want something to eat?
1668
01:16:08,673 --> 01:16:10,973
You must be hungry.
1669
01:16:11,042 --> 01:16:14,342
Something to drink?
I got sodas.
1670
01:16:14,411 --> 01:16:16,946
A towel to freshen up?
1671
01:16:17,015 --> 01:16:21,617
Does the number 100 million
1672
01:16:21,686 --> 01:16:23,586
mean anything to you?
1673
01:16:23,655 --> 01:16:26,121
100 million.
1674
01:16:26,190 --> 01:16:28,724
It means something to all of us.
1675
01:16:28,793 --> 01:16:31,694
Any guesses?
1676
01:16:31,763 --> 01:16:33,665
I can't move my arms.
1677
01:16:35,599 --> 01:16:38,533
That's the number of sperms
1678
01:16:38,602 --> 01:16:40,703
in the average ejaculate.
1679
01:16:40,772 --> 01:16:42,970
Crazy, huh?
1680
01:16:43,039 --> 01:16:46,374
So when you were conceived,
your sperm had to beat out
1681
01:16:46,443 --> 01:16:49,078
99 million and change.
1682
01:16:49,147 --> 01:16:51,246
99 million.
1683
01:16:51,315 --> 01:16:52,414
Some odds, huh?
1684
01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:56,351
And when life is too hard for some people,
1685
01:16:56,420 --> 01:16:58,386
like yourself...
1686
01:16:58,455 --> 01:17:02,723
makes you wonder if that other 99 million and change
1687
01:17:02,792 --> 01:17:04,726
might have had a better go of it.
1688
01:17:04,795 --> 01:17:06,394
You know?
1689
01:17:06,463 --> 01:17:08,400
Come here, I wanna show you something.
1693
01:17:36,426 --> 01:17:41,061
So...here is your parents' house.
1694
01:17:41,130 --> 01:17:45,370
And this is the night you get conceived, you see?
1695
01:17:46,136 --> 01:17:48,731
In a little bit,
your parents will come home,
1696
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:53,308
stumble up those stairs,
have sex and make you!
1697
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,047
Isn't that something?
1698
01:17:56,875 --> 01:18:02,283
Just put this baseball on the third stair.
1699
01:18:02,352 --> 01:18:05,253
It's dark and your dad will stumble.
1700
01:18:05,322 --> 01:18:08,490
Be enough to get his balls a-jostling,
1701
01:18:08,559 --> 01:18:10,825
mix up that sperm a little.
1702
01:18:10,894 --> 01:18:13,262
Give another sperm a chance to be born.
1703
01:18:13,331 --> 01:18:15,130
You see?
1704
01:18:15,199 --> 01:18:17,466
Another sperm means another person.
1705
01:18:17,535 --> 01:18:19,667
And events will change.
1706
01:18:19,736 --> 01:18:23,171
That other person will probably have a different job,
1707
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,741
causing your co-worker Willow to live.
1708
01:18:26,810 --> 01:18:29,144
And with another person,
your boyfriend
1709
01:18:29,213 --> 01:18:31,880
will have a chance to find a better partner,
1710
01:18:31,949 --> 01:18:36,751
and you won't have to suffer with anxiety anymore.
1711
01:18:36,820 --> 01:18:40,155
Ahh! It's a win-win.
Don't you see?
1712
01:18:40,224 --> 01:18:44,429
Now, does that sound like a plan?
1713
01:18:46,297 --> 01:18:50,002
Does that sound like a plan?
1714
01:18:51,163 --> 01:18:53,502
No.
1715
01:18:53,571 --> 01:18:55,140
No what?
1716
01:18:57,508 --> 01:19:00,610
I...want...to...
1717
01:19:00,679 --> 01:19:03,273
I want to live...
1718
01:19:03,342 --> 01:19:05,380
You want to live?
1719
01:19:05,449 --> 01:19:06,548
You have lived!
1720
01:19:06,617 --> 01:19:09,084
Been there, done that.
Didn't care for it.
1721
01:19:09,153 --> 01:19:12,087
Don't you think it's time for a do-over?
1722
01:19:12,156 --> 01:19:14,384
Hmm?
1723
01:19:14,453 --> 01:19:17,997
You...are...
from...Hell!
1724
01:19:21,733 --> 01:19:24,199
Now, that hurts.
1725
01:19:24,268 --> 01:19:26,734
I'm not from Hell.
I'm from here.
1726
01:19:26,803 --> 01:19:29,141
Just a different time is all.
1727
01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:31,740
You know, you think you're a good person.
1728
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:35,009
But in the future,
they say you're not!
1729
01:19:35,078 --> 01:19:38,413
Don't you think I wish I was born when you were?
1730
01:19:38,482 --> 01:19:41,984
With progressive views,
your cushy job.
1731
01:19:42,053 --> 01:19:44,720
In your fancy, light-filled,
big-city office.
1732
01:19:44,789 --> 01:19:47,988
With air conditioning.
1733
01:19:48,057 --> 01:19:50,059
Just typing on your little keyboard all day.
1734
01:19:50,128 --> 01:19:51,494
Type, type, type.
1735
01:19:51,563 --> 01:19:54,462
With your avocado toast.
1736
01:19:54,531 --> 01:19:56,902
I've never even had an avocado.
1737
01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:02,303
Yeah,
you have privilege, hmm?
1738
01:20:02,372 --> 01:20:07,479
But nobody ever talks about time privilege.
1739
01:20:08,245 --> 01:20:11,914
What will they say about you in the future, Zoe, hmm?
1740
01:20:11,983 --> 01:20:13,609
Burning your gas,
1741
01:20:13,678 --> 01:20:15,751
contributing to global warming.
1742
01:20:15,820 --> 01:20:17,719
Eating your bacon!
1743
01:20:17,788 --> 01:20:19,891
Poor little piggies.
1744
01:20:21,158 --> 01:20:25,193
Stepping over the homeless people.
1745
01:20:25,262 --> 01:20:27,562
They'll say,
"Why didn't she
1746
01:20:27,631 --> 01:20:31,033
let the homeless people sleep on her couch?"
1747
01:20:31,102 --> 01:20:33,001
And then you want a do-over,
1748
01:20:33,070 --> 01:20:36,038
which I am trying to give you!
1749
01:20:36,107 --> 01:20:38,007
I'd love a do-over.
1750
01:20:38,076 --> 01:20:41,043
But I'm stuck here in this fucking fire.
1751
01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:43,245
Oh, Zoe,
you found my knife.
1752
01:20:43,314 --> 01:20:45,981
I've been looking for that forever.
1753
01:20:46,050 --> 01:20:47,916
Thank you!
1754
01:20:47,985 --> 01:20:51,887
Now, do what needs to be done.
1755
01:20:51,956 --> 01:20:56,492
Put the Goddamn baseball on the stair.
1756
01:20:56,561 --> 01:20:58,994
Oh!
1757
01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:00,396
Come back here!
1759
01:21:07,038 --> 01:21:09,237
Thank you, Alex.
Thank you, baby!
1760
01:21:09,306 --> 01:21:10,906
Oh, my God.
I just want to sleep, babe.
1761
01:21:10,975 --> 01:21:12,975
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Stay with me!
1762
01:21:13,044 --> 01:21:15,243
Stay with me, yeah?
Let's get out of here.
1763
01:21:15,312 --> 01:21:17,880
Come on, come on.
1766
01:21:34,299 --> 01:21:35,498
Alex.
1767
01:21:35,567 --> 01:21:38,601
Alex, keys.
1768
01:21:38,670 --> 01:21:39,768
The kitchen.
1769
01:21:39,837 --> 01:21:42,537
Fuck!
1770
01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:44,105
I'm not going back in that fuckin' house.
1771
01:21:44,174 --> 01:21:46,678
I'll run in the woods if I have to.
1773
01:21:58,856 --> 01:21:59,988
Fat-ass bitch.
1775
01:22:01,959 --> 01:22:04,426
Get your hands off of me.
1776
01:22:04,495 --> 01:22:06,061
Stop it!
1777
01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:07,362
I don't feel right.
1778
01:22:07,431 --> 01:22:10,065
-Nothing I do makes you...
-I hate you!
1779
01:22:10,134 --> 01:22:11,634
-I hate you!
-This isn't working.
1780
01:22:11,703 --> 01:22:13,034
Get the fuck out!
1781
01:22:13,103 --> 01:22:16,171
I'll give you something to cry about.
1784
01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:38,427
Time to Paul Bunyan your ass,
motherfucker!
1787
01:22:51,141 --> 01:22:53,376
Holy fuck. We did it!
1795
01:23:24,108 --> 01:23:26,542
No! No!
1801
01:23:51,235 --> 01:23:54,469
No, no. No, you --
You don't understand!
1802
01:23:54,538 --> 01:23:56,506
It's that fake fucking sheriff!
1803
01:23:56,575 --> 01:23:59,841
You can't leave!
1804
01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:02,410
You're important here.
1805
01:24:02,479 --> 01:24:05,481
This is the dawn of a new age of --
1806
01:24:05,550 --> 01:24:07,783
Fuck you!
1807
01:24:07,852 --> 01:24:11,323
I can and I will!
1808
01:24:14,058 --> 01:24:15,824
Don't stop.
1809
01:24:15,893 --> 01:24:18,260
I'm not.
1810
01:24:18,329 --> 01:24:20,696
I'm not stopping until the tank is empty.
1818
01:25:06,310 --> 01:25:08,243
I love you.
1819
01:25:08,312 --> 01:25:10,579
I love you, too, baby.
1820
01:25:10,648 --> 01:25:12,681
No matter what happens next.
1823
01:25:23,294 --> 01:25:26,365
I think we should make the logo a tad bit bigger.
1824
01:25:27,331 --> 01:25:30,032
You want the logo bigger?
1825
01:25:30,101 --> 01:25:32,337
I'm kidding.
I'm imitating our client.
1826
01:25:34,038 --> 01:25:35,503
I love it.
1827
01:25:35,572 --> 01:25:37,239
Hey, it's your concept and your copy.
1828
01:25:37,308 --> 01:25:40,609
I just laid it out.
1829
01:25:40,678 --> 01:25:43,078
Send it. To the client?
1830
01:25:43,147 --> 01:25:45,380
Yes to the client!
1831
01:25:45,449 --> 01:25:47,650
It's early enough,
we might hear back today.
1832
01:25:47,719 --> 01:25:49,084
I hope not.
1833
01:25:49,153 --> 01:25:50,851
I just love that glorious moment
1834
01:25:50,920 --> 01:25:53,722
when you send something off and before you get the notes.
1835
01:25:53,791 --> 01:25:55,557
It's such a freeing feeling.
1836
01:25:55,626 --> 01:25:57,458
We're not getting notes.
It's fucking perfect.
1837
01:25:57,527 --> 01:26:00,799
Well, just in case, maybe we should knock off early.
1838
01:26:02,333 --> 01:26:04,132
What would the boss say?
I don't know.
1839
01:26:04,201 --> 01:26:06,301
Maybe you should ask the boss.
1840
01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:08,636
What do you say, boss?
1841
01:26:08,705 --> 01:26:12,641
I say we should knock off early.
1842
01:26:12,710 --> 01:26:14,379
Alright.
1843
01:26:17,948 --> 01:26:20,315
So you wanna grab a drink at the Highlander?
1844
01:26:20,384 --> 01:26:22,151
You sure we have time?
You know William
1845
01:26:22,220 --> 01:26:23,751
loves to get to the Braves game early.
1846
01:26:23,820 --> 01:26:25,954
Oh, that's right!
Uh, I guess
1847
01:26:26,023 --> 01:26:28,156
we'll just have to grab our celebratory drink there then.
1848
01:26:28,225 --> 01:26:30,558
Hmm. Yeah.
1849
01:26:30,627 --> 01:26:32,159
It should be feeling cooler.
1850
01:26:32,228 --> 01:26:36,665
A.C.'s pretty old, but I think I beat it into submission.
1851
01:26:36,734 --> 01:26:39,201
I feel a difference already.
1852
01:26:39,270 --> 01:26:41,436
Thanks, Arvid.
No problem.
1853
01:26:41,505 --> 01:26:43,438
Traffic is gonna be hell.
1854
01:26:43,507 --> 01:26:46,041
I wish we could just teleport ourselves there.
1855
01:26:46,110 --> 01:26:48,276
Would that it were so..
1856
01:26:48,345 --> 01:26:50,711
I think I beat it into submission.
1857
01:26:50,780 --> 01:26:52,680
We're taking William to the...
Would that it were so.
1858
01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:54,515
I think I beat it into submission.
1859
01:26:54,584 --> 01:26:55,917
We're taking William to the...
1860
01:26:55,986 --> 01:26:57,052
Would that it were so.
1861
01:26:57,121 --> 01:26:59,087
I think I beat it into submission.
1862
01:26:59,156 --> 01:27:01,356
We're taking William to the...
1863
01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:02,523
Would that it were so.
1864
01:27:02,592 --> 01:27:04,793
I think I beat it into submission.
1865
01:27:04,862 --> 01:27:08,096
We're taking William to the...
1866
01:27:08,165 --> 01:27:09,330
Would that it were so.
1867
01:27:09,399 --> 01:27:11,332
We're taking William to the...
1868
01:27:11,401 --> 01:27:13,401
I'm sorry, Rosa.
1869
01:27:13,470 --> 01:27:16,071
I'm sorry for what I did.
1870
01:27:16,140 --> 01:27:17,807
I'm sorry for everything.
1871
01:27:17,876 --> 01:27:19,770
I love you, Rosa.
1872
01:27:19,839 --> 01:27:21,343
Forgive me, Rosa.
1873
01:27:21,412 --> 01:27:22,878
I'm sorry for everything.
1874
01:27:22,947 --> 01:27:26,115
I love you, Rosa.
I'm sorry for what I did.
1875
01:27:26,184 --> 01:27:27,350
Sorry for all the --
1880
01:27:39,496 --> 01:27:44,165
♪ So you've got trauma ♪
1881
01:27:44,234 --> 01:27:48,070
♪ Go tell your mama ♪
1882
01:27:48,139 --> 01:27:51,607
♪ You've got pain ♪
1883
01:27:51,676 --> 01:27:55,543
♪ Go tell the rain ♪
1884
01:27:55,612 --> 01:27:59,381
♪ What you have desired ♪
1885
01:27:59,450 --> 01:28:03,652
♪ Go tell the fire ♪
1886
01:28:03,721 --> 01:28:07,690
♪ Go tell the fire ♪
1887
01:28:07,759 --> 01:28:11,126
♪ Go tell the fire ♪
1888
01:28:11,195 --> 01:28:15,230
♪♪
1889
01:28:15,299 --> 01:28:19,400
♪ I loved someone ♪
1890
01:28:19,469 --> 01:28:23,405
♪ They made me whole ♪
1891
01:28:23,474 --> 01:28:27,542
♪ I broke their heart ♪
1892
01:28:27,611 --> 01:28:31,981
♪ I broke their soul ♪
1893
01:28:32,050 --> 01:28:35,416
♪ Oh ♪
1894
01:28:35,485 --> 01:28:39,721
♪ It turned to coal ♪
1895
01:28:39,790 --> 01:28:43,291
♪ It turned to coal ♪
1896
01:28:43,360 --> 01:28:47,763
♪ It turned to coal ♪
1897
01:28:47,832 --> 01:28:54,832
♪♪
1898
01:28:56,007 --> 01:29:03,007
♪♪
1899
01:29:03,647 --> 01:29:07,650
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1900
01:29:07,719 --> 01:29:11,486
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1901
01:29:11,555 --> 01:29:15,557
♪ Smoke gets in your face ♪
1902
01:29:15,626 --> 01:29:18,626
♪ Gone without a trace ♪
1903
01:29:18,695 --> 01:29:24,500
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1906
01:29:36,014 --> 01:29:39,649
♪ If Lady Luck ♪
1907
01:29:39,718 --> 01:29:43,484
♪ Gives a fuck ♪
1908
01:29:43,553 --> 01:29:47,489
♪ And you have fight ♪
1909
01:29:47,558 --> 01:29:51,492
♪ Then you just might ♪
1910
01:29:51,561 --> 01:29:55,530
♪ Win all your hopes ♪
1911
01:29:55,599 --> 01:29:59,534
♪ On slippery slopes ♪
1912
01:29:59,603 --> 01:30:03,066
♪ But just as well ♪
1913
01:30:03,135 --> 01:30:07,810
♪ It goes to hell ♪
1914
01:30:07,879 --> 01:30:11,312
♪ And all your dreams ♪
1915
01:30:11,381 --> 01:30:15,283
♪ Supporting dreams ♪
1916
01:30:15,352 --> 01:30:19,487
♪ Come crashing down ♪
1917
01:30:19,556 --> 01:30:23,225
♪ Come crashing down ♪
1918
01:30:23,294 --> 01:30:27,462
♪ Straight to the ground ♪
1919
01:30:27,531 --> 01:30:32,167
♪ Come crashing down ♪
1922
01:30:43,914 --> 01:30:47,917
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1923
01:30:47,986 --> 01:30:51,920
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1924
01:30:51,989 --> 01:30:55,758
♪ Smoke gets in your face ♪
1925
01:30:55,827 --> 01:30:58,994
♪ Gone without a trace ♪
1926
01:30:59,063 --> 01:31:03,532
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1927
01:31:03,601 --> 01:31:07,836
♪ Add it to the fireplace ♪
1928
01:31:07,905 --> 01:31:11,840
♪ Smoke gets in your face ♪
1929
01:31:11,909 --> 01:31:14,844
♪ Gone without a trace ♪
1930
01:31:14,913 --> 01:31:21,216
♪ Gone without a trace ♪114202
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