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1
00:00:07,469 --> 00:00:08,952
- Okay, we're moving on
to item 129 A, Part 3.
2
00:00:09,055 --> 00:00:10,089
- 129 A, or
are we doing B first?
3
00:00:10,193 --> 00:00:11,641
We're going A. Okay.
4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,021
- You know, I feel like
because we had a little bit of
5
00:00:13,124 --> 00:00:14,469
a hard time discussing 128 F--
6
00:00:14,572 --> 00:00:16,262
- Yep, we did.
- Let's just discuss--
7
00:00:16,365 --> 00:00:17,469
- So we can table that?
- The protocol for discussing--
8
00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:18,917
- Why don't we just--
Okay. Cool.
9
00:00:19,021 --> 00:00:20,262
- 128.
- We'll discuss what we'll do.
10
00:00:20,365 --> 00:00:21,538
we'll table that. We'll discuss
how we discuss that.
11
00:00:26,124 --> 00:00:27,158
- ♪ I found a place
12
00:00:27,262 --> 00:00:28,848
♪ In a little old town
13
00:00:38,469 --> 00:00:39,814
- ♪ Living the American dream
14
00:00:45,814 --> 00:00:47,469
♪ Since I was 17
15
00:00:49,814 --> 00:00:51,124
♪ And this is where
16
00:00:51,227 --> 00:00:52,124
- I'll marry your ex-wife,
17
00:00:52,227 --> 00:00:53,193
and then I'll divorce her,
18
00:00:53,296 --> 00:00:54,641
and make you pay for
the alimony.
19
00:00:54,745 --> 00:00:56,193
Do you understand how mad
I am at you right now?
20
00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:57,917
Don't ever clean my house
poorly again.
21
00:00:58,021 --> 00:00:59,883
- ♪ Living the American dream
22
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,469
♪ It's the American dream
23
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,469
♪ Living the American dream
24
00:01:19,607 --> 00:01:22,055
♪ Living the American dream
25
00:01:22,158 --> 00:01:23,089
♪ The American dream!
26
00:01:23,193 --> 00:01:24,986
♪ Living the American dream
27
00:01:25,089 --> 00:01:26,986
♪ The American dream
28
00:01:27,089 --> 00:01:29,193
♪ Living the American dream
29
00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:30,710
♪ Oh, yeah
30
00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:31,676
♪ The American dream
31
00:01:31,779 --> 00:01:33,193
♪ Living the American dream
32
00:01:33,296 --> 00:01:34,193
♪ Ooh, yeah!
33
00:01:34,296 --> 00:01:36,607
♪ The American dream!
34
00:01:57,848 --> 00:02:01,158
God.
35
00:02:01,262 --> 00:02:03,262
Nothing feels as good
as an empty inbox.
36
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:05,089
- Really? Have you ever had sex?
37
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,745
Because
emptying your email inbox
38
00:02:06,848 --> 00:02:08,434
actually does
feel better than that.
39
00:02:08,538 --> 00:02:10,021
What are you doing this weekend?
40
00:02:10,124 --> 00:02:11,434
- Well, I'm going on a hike
41
00:02:11,538 --> 00:02:13,469
with some old college buddies
on Saturday.
42
00:02:13,572 --> 00:02:15,952
Then I have a Groupon for this
gourmet grilled cheese place.
43
00:02:16,055 --> 00:02:18,089
I have another Groupon
to get an oil change.
44
00:02:18,193 --> 00:02:21,021
Brunch with my stepsister,
uh, I have a Groupon for that.
45
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:22,538
And, oh,
46
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,227
I need to get a haircut
at some point.
47
00:02:24,331 --> 00:02:26,676
Basically, I'm trying to cram
my entire life into 48 hours,
48
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:27,952
and I won't enjoy
a second of it.
49
00:02:28,055 --> 00:02:29,331
What about you?
50
00:02:29,434 --> 00:02:30,400
- Oh, I'm gonna lie in bed
depressed all weekend.
51
00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:33,779
I've been looking forward
to it all week.
52
00:02:34,814 --> 00:02:37,021
Oh, I got Peddles
a new cardboard box.
53
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,434
She's gonna love it
so fucking much.
54
00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:39,779
It's gonna be so fucking cute.
55
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:41,607
I'll hardly be able
to fucking stand it.
56
00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:44,779
- I don't like the way
you talk about cats.
57
00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:46,021
- So...
58
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,089
you dips coming to
my house party Saturday night,
59
00:02:48,193 --> 00:02:49,331
or what?
I saw that you both opened,
60
00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:52,779
yet did not RSVP,
to my Paperless Post,
61
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:54,021
which is a real dick move.
62
00:02:54,124 --> 00:02:56,331
- Your only response options
were, "No, I hate fun,"
63
00:02:56,434 --> 00:02:57,262
or "Hells to the yeah."
64
00:02:57,365 --> 00:02:59,400
I'm an eternal maybe.
65
00:02:59,503 --> 00:03:01,193
I want the option to back out
of a party up until the moment
66
00:03:01,296 --> 00:03:02,124
I walk through the front door.
67
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:04,331
- Matt, you have to come.
68
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,124
I'm setting you up
with my friend Daphne.
69
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,745
She already photo-approved you.
70
00:03:07,848 --> 00:03:09,917
She said you look
just like her ex-boyfriend,
71
00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,124
but with worse hair.
72
00:03:11,227 --> 00:03:12,607
- Really?
That's sort of encouraging.
73
00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:14,089
- Jake,
I thought about setting you up,
74
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,124
but then I remembered,
I actually like my friends.
75
00:03:16,227 --> 00:03:18,124
- Oh. I totally get that.
76
00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:19,469
- Any plans for
the weekend, Kate?
77
00:03:19,572 --> 00:03:20,848
If you're not too busy,
maybe we could--
78
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,676
- I have a lot of work
to catch up on this weekend.
79
00:03:22,779 --> 00:03:24,296
I'll be lucky if I make
my Spinlates class.
80
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,779
Well, don't work too hard.
81
00:03:25,883 --> 00:03:27,434
You know, my therapist says
that the weekends
82
00:03:27,538 --> 00:03:29,296
are supposed to be
for relaxation.
83
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,641
That's why he can never
see me on Saturday.
84
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:32,883
Jake! Matt!
85
00:03:32,986 --> 00:03:34,434
So glad I caught you two.
- See you Monday!
86
00:03:34,538 --> 00:03:35,848
- Have a great weekend,
everyone!
87
00:03:35,952 --> 00:03:38,262
- Okay, take care, Kate.
Have a good one, Grace.
88
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:39,469
Will you two agree
to do a favor for me?
89
00:03:39,572 --> 00:03:43,089
- Oh, um, well, you know, we--
- Matt and I have
90
00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:45,021
very expensive plans that
can't be changed or refunded.
91
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,193
- No, no, no, no.
Come on, guys, of course not.
92
00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:48,952
I would never disrupt
your Friday night.
93
00:03:49,055 --> 00:03:50,814
I need your help on Saturday.
94
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:53,814
I got a new antique-style
grandfather clock,
95
00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:56,124
and I need some assistance
in moving it.
96
00:03:56,227 --> 00:03:59,848
both: Okay.
97
00:03:59,952 --> 00:04:02,400
- Great, it should really
only take a couple of hours.
98
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,400
I just emailed you
my private address.
99
00:04:04,503 --> 00:04:06,434
Don't share it.
100
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,400
And I'll see you guys tomorrow!
101
00:04:08,503 --> 00:04:09,538
Wear your dungarees!
102
00:04:09,641 --> 00:04:12,227
- What the hell are dungarees?
103
00:04:12,331 --> 00:04:14,676
- This is going to ruin
my next 24 hours.
104
00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:15,572
Fuck!
105
00:04:15,676 --> 00:04:17,331
- ♪ The American dream!
106
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:18,296
♪ Living the American dream
107
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,434
both: Fuck!
108
00:04:19,538 --> 00:04:21,296
- Aw, Pebbles.
109
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,262
- ♪ Living the American dream
110
00:04:22,365 --> 00:04:23,952
both: Fuck!
111
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:24,848
- ♪ The American dream
112
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:25,814
both: Fuck.
113
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,400
both: Fuck!
114
00:04:27,503 --> 00:04:30,503
♪ The American dream!
115
00:04:32,986 --> 00:04:34,710
- I always wondered
what kind of freaks lived in
116
00:04:34,814 --> 00:04:36,262
the apartments above
outdoor malls,
117
00:04:36,365 --> 00:04:38,365
and now I know. John.
118
00:04:38,469 --> 00:04:39,400
- Oh, look.
They have a sale on lotion
119
00:04:39,503 --> 00:04:41,883
at the Bath And Body
sweatshop factory.
120
00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:44,158
- Oh, we gotta get
a pretzel before we go.
121
00:04:44,262 --> 00:04:45,469
They have this new pretzel
122
00:04:45,572 --> 00:04:46,883
that's just a pile
of butter and salt,
123
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,021
but there's no pretzel,
124
00:04:49,124 --> 00:04:51,227
but it's the most delicious
pretzel I've ever had.
125
00:04:51,331 --> 00:04:53,055
- Where's the music coming from?
126
00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:54,676
The rocks.
127
00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:56,503
- ♪ Just paint it red
128
00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,676
♪ Make it dance to our tune,
shake it up ♪
129
00:04:58,779 --> 00:05:00,158
- Let's get this over with.
130
00:05:00,262 --> 00:05:01,710
I'd rather talk to someone about
131
00:05:01,814 --> 00:05:04,089
the meaning of their tattoo
than do this right now.
132
00:05:04,193 --> 00:05:05,952
- Hey, guys!
133
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:06,779
Come on in!
134
00:05:06,883 --> 00:05:07,952
Take your shoes off. Relax.
135
00:05:08,055 --> 00:05:09,883
No, seriously.
136
00:05:09,986 --> 00:05:10,779
Remove your shoes
and put them in
137
00:05:10,883 --> 00:05:13,124
the designated cubbies, please.
138
00:05:13,227 --> 00:05:15,917
This place is probably
really aspiration for you guys,
139
00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,814
but if you work hard enough,
one day,
140
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,641
you too could have
a luxury pre-9/11 style
141
00:05:19,745 --> 00:05:23,055
condominium with optional,
built-in shelving.
142
00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:25,400
- Is that the clock?
- Yep, that's the one.
143
00:05:25,503 --> 00:05:27,572
But, uh, before we get to that,
144
00:05:27,676 --> 00:05:29,021
I would love to give
you two the tour.
145
00:05:29,124 --> 00:05:31,469
- Oh--
- No.
146
00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:33,710
- This is the bedroom.
147
00:05:33,814 --> 00:05:36,745
Pretty standard.
Uh, I like to kind of peek out
148
00:05:36,848 --> 00:05:39,089
the windows and spy on
my neighbors here a little bit.
149
00:05:39,193 --> 00:05:41,021
This controls the temperature
in the room for the most part.
150
00:05:41,124 --> 00:05:42,572
I'm sure you guys are familiar
with that technology.
151
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,710
Where's the bed?
152
00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:48,089
- Don't ask questions
you don't want the answer to.
153
00:05:48,193 --> 00:05:51,227
- And this is my bird room.
154
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:55,917
Hi.
155
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,917
Yes.
156
00:05:58,021 --> 00:05:59,641
I missed you, too.
157
00:06:01,641 --> 00:06:03,055
- Matt, please don't do that.
158
00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:06,021
You'll confuse them.
159
00:06:09,572 --> 00:06:13,124
And here is the reason
you're here.
160
00:06:13,227 --> 00:06:14,503
Isn't she a beaut?
161
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,434
Wait, it's a--
it's a grandfather clock
162
00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:18,365
so he's a beaut.
You know what, guys,
163
00:06:18,469 --> 00:06:19,538
let's not gender the clock.
164
00:06:19,641 --> 00:06:21,193
Okay?
It's a beaut.
165
00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:24,917
- So where are we moving
this genderless beaut?
166
00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:29,193
- On three--
one, two, lift.
167
00:06:29,296 --> 00:06:30,124
- Good.
168
00:06:30,227 --> 00:06:31,124
Lift with your knees, Matt.
169
00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:32,158
With your knees.
170
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:33,262
Lift with your knees, please.
171
00:06:33,365 --> 00:06:35,193
Please don't scratch
the leather.
172
00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:36,227
That is real.
173
00:06:36,331 --> 00:06:37,710
Okay. Thread that needle.
174
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,055
Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup,
175
00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:41,262
and yup.
176
00:06:41,365 --> 00:06:43,883
If you guys wanna
get out of the way for a second.
177
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:44,676
Ooh!
178
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,607
I don't know, it's a--
179
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:47,469
Slide back in for one second.
180
00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:50,124
I just wanna--here.
181
00:06:50,227 --> 00:06:51,365
Is that it?
182
00:06:51,469 --> 00:06:53,400
I'm watching TV.
183
00:06:53,503 --> 00:06:54,503
What time is it?
I'm not wearing my watch.
184
00:06:54,607 --> 00:06:56,124
Oh, it's 3:30.
185
00:06:56,227 --> 00:06:57,262
Uh, you know what,
186
00:06:57,365 --> 00:06:58,227
it's pretty helpful
to see it in context.
187
00:06:58,331 --> 00:06:59,814
Do, like, you're just--
188
00:06:59,917 --> 00:07:02,193
it's, like, a dinner party,
and you're a little tired,
189
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:05,779
and you're a vegetarian.
You guys are just chatting.
190
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:07,400
- It's nice being here
at this dinner party,
191
00:07:07,503 --> 00:07:09,365
but I guess I'm just
a little tired.
192
00:07:09,469 --> 00:07:10,676
- I can't eat any of
the meat stuff.
193
00:07:10,779 --> 00:07:12,158
- Mmm.
So you guys came over
194
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:13,572
to watch the game.
195
00:07:13,676 --> 00:07:14,779
Your team won, your team lost,
196
00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:17,158
but it's just sort of
something to talk about.
197
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,710
- Well, it's great news
that my team won the game.
198
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:20,641
- Well, my team lost so I'm mad.
199
00:07:20,745 --> 00:07:23,710
- Uh, I'm on the fence.
200
00:07:23,814 --> 00:07:25,538
Man, I'm pissed my team lost!
201
00:07:25,641 --> 00:07:26,503
- So you're at
a breakfast party,
202
00:07:26,607 --> 00:07:28,572
and you both want
the last biscuit.
203
00:07:28,676 --> 00:07:31,883
- Oh, I thought that I--
did you want it?
204
00:07:31,986 --> 00:07:33,779
- I mean, I've had a couple,
but I thought--
205
00:07:33,883 --> 00:07:35,400
- I haven't had
any biscuits thus far.
206
00:07:35,503 --> 00:07:38,572
- You've been waiting up
all night for him to come home.
207
00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:39,952
- It's 2:00 a.m.
and you smell like perfume.
208
00:07:40,055 --> 00:07:40,917
What the hell?
209
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:42,434
I got it!
210
00:07:42,538 --> 00:07:43,952
Okay, lift on three.
211
00:07:44,055 --> 00:07:45,434
One, two, lift.
212
00:07:45,538 --> 00:07:46,434
Yup, come on this way.
213
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:47,434
Jake, with your knees, buddy.
214
00:07:47,538 --> 00:07:48,814
Turn it, turn it, turn it.
215
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:49,952
Keep going--please be careful,
Matt, for God's sake.
216
00:07:50,055 --> 00:07:52,055
Yeah.
217
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,331
Perfect.
218
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,158
Sometimes, you gotta go
all the way around the world
219
00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:58,434
to realize that home...
220
00:07:58,538 --> 00:07:59,572
Is the only place you wanna be.
221
00:07:59,676 --> 00:08:01,400
- I got a splinter.
222
00:08:01,503 --> 00:08:02,331
- Thank you guys so much.
- Ow!
223
00:08:02,434 --> 00:08:03,814
- I really appreciate it.
- God.
224
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,158
- Thank you for helping me out.
As a thank you,
225
00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:07,193
you have to let me take you
to dinner.
226
00:08:07,296 --> 00:08:08,917
- Oh, that's really nice
of you to offer,
227
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:09,883
but I'm not really
much of an eater.
228
00:08:09,986 --> 00:08:10,952
- Yeah,
I just don't eat. Don't eat.
229
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,917
- Okay,
I am taking you guys to dinner
230
00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:14,469
and I will not take no
for an answer.
231
00:08:14,572 --> 00:08:15,814
Plus, you gotta get
232
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:17,124
your parking validated.
233
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:18,158
Not cheap.
234
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:19,193
I'll grab your shoes
from the cubbies.
235
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:24,434
both: Fuck!
236
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,607
- By the way, this restaurant
237
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:29,917
is owned by Hampton DeVille,
238
00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:31,538
so if you guys brought
your employee IDs,
239
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,193
we'll get some free apps.
240
00:08:33,296 --> 00:08:34,434
All righty. Here we go!
241
00:08:34,538 --> 00:08:35,538
Don't sue me.
242
00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:36,538
Hey, Katherine!
243
00:08:37,986 --> 00:08:39,365
- I'll be right back
to get your order.
244
00:08:39,469 --> 00:08:40,469
Giddy up!
245
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:42,538
Giddy up.
246
00:08:42,641 --> 00:08:44,331
Isn't this place fun, you guys?
247
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:48,124
It's depressing
248
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:50,021
that all these employees
have to work on the weekend.
249
00:08:50,124 --> 00:08:51,400
- We're working right now.
At least they're getting paid.
250
00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:55,365
- This place looks like somebody
held a gun to it and said,
251
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:56,779
"Have fun or else."
252
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:58,676
- I can't believe these people
haven't killed themselves yet.
253
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,365
Their will to live
is astounding.
254
00:09:00,469 --> 00:09:01,400
- Everyone in here looks like
255
00:09:01,503 --> 00:09:03,538
they just went through
a divorce.
256
00:09:03,641 --> 00:09:05,089
- Oh, my God! Look.
257
00:09:05,193 --> 00:09:08,296
It's Kate, and
a sexy, male companion friend.
258
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,400
Hey!
259
00:09:09,503 --> 00:09:10,952
- Fuck.
260
00:09:11,055 --> 00:09:12,503
Matt, Jake, John.
261
00:09:12,607 --> 00:09:15,331
Why are you all here together?
262
00:09:15,434 --> 00:09:17,331
Are you working on
the Jenson project without me?
263
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:19,572
- No, no, no, no.
Jake and Matt offered to help me
264
00:09:19,676 --> 00:09:20,710
move my grandfather clock,
265
00:09:20,814 --> 00:09:22,883
and then we just kind of
mutually decided
266
00:09:22,986 --> 00:09:24,745
to go to dinner together.
267
00:09:24,848 --> 00:09:26,917
Kate, who's your companion?
268
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,917
- Oh, uh, um,
269
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:30,262
that's Sonnet.
270
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:32,400
- Hi, I'm Sonnet!
- Sonnet, shh!
271
00:09:32,503 --> 00:09:33,607
- Well, golly.
272
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,400
Looks like you partners
all know each other.
273
00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:38,883
What do you say we hitch
these wagon wheels together?
274
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:48,986
- Well, Sonnet, I'm honored
to meet the man in Kate's life.
275
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,779
You must be
a very special person.
276
00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:51,952
- Oh! No.
277
00:09:52,055 --> 00:09:53,641
She ordered me through Summen.
278
00:09:53,745 --> 00:09:55,607
It's an online companion service
for executive ladies who just--
279
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,952
- Sonnet! Shh! Shh!
280
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,676
Shh.
281
00:09:59,779 --> 00:10:02,710
We met at church.
- Oh!
282
00:10:02,814 --> 00:10:03,710
- Okay. No appetizers.
283
00:10:03,814 --> 00:10:05,434
No desserts. Just entrees.
284
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,538
And maybe I'll still have time
to get a haircut before
285
00:10:06,641 --> 00:10:08,434
we go to Grace's party.
286
00:10:08,538 --> 00:10:09,641
- You folks ready to order?
287
00:10:09,745 --> 00:10:10,986
- Slow down there, Sheriff.
288
00:10:11,089 --> 00:10:12,124
I think we need at least
15 minutes to figure out
289
00:10:12,227 --> 00:10:14,676
our appetizer strategy,
but in the meantime,
290
00:10:14,779 --> 00:10:17,296
let's do a jug of milk
for the table.
291
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,848
- Absolutely.
292
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,365
- A little on the warmer side,
too, please.
293
00:10:20,469 --> 00:10:21,365
- Hot milk.
294
00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:28,055
- Mm-mmm!
- This is pure protein goodness.
295
00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:29,641
Isn't this place great, Kate?
- No.
296
00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:32,055
And the fact
that you suggested it
297
00:10:32,158 --> 00:10:34,089
is gonna deduct two stars
from your rating.
298
00:10:34,193 --> 00:10:35,883
The best you can do now
is a three.
299
00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:38,400
- Oh, man. Not my rating.
300
00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:39,641
- Who wants to make it better
with cheddar?
301
00:10:39,745 --> 00:10:41,055
- Yeah, I'll do that.
302
00:10:41,158 --> 00:10:43,745
- Isn't your dinner
cheesy enough?
303
00:10:43,848 --> 00:10:45,400
- I'm sorry you have to do this.
304
00:10:45,503 --> 00:10:46,745
- Spur my side, cowboy!
305
00:10:46,848 --> 00:10:48,158
It's my pleasure.
306
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:49,676
- You don't have to talk
like that for our sake.
307
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:50,745
Yes, I do.
308
00:10:50,848 --> 00:10:52,745
They make us wear body cams.
309
00:10:55,848 --> 00:10:58,331
Everything's better with
a little more cheddar!
310
00:10:58,434 --> 00:11:00,089
- You can tell this is
311
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,055
a Hampton DeVille restaurant
because all the waiters act like
312
00:11:02,158 --> 00:11:03,469
they're in a hostage situation.
313
00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:05,814
- Mmm!
314
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:07,021
Best part about
this restaurant?
315
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,986
- Mm-hmm?
- Unlimited milk refills.
316
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:10,469
- John, I think milk
is supposed to be for kids.
317
00:11:10,572 --> 00:11:13,296
- Milk boy!
318
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,055
- Jesus Christ.
319
00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:15,572
Look at this poor fuck.
320
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:17,952
- Slow down, partner.
321
00:11:18,055 --> 00:11:21,158
This is your fourth refill.
322
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,021
Is it just me,
or is the milk boy
323
00:11:26,124 --> 00:11:28,055
a little mouthy tonight?
324
00:11:28,158 --> 00:11:30,296
I know my limits, pal. Thanks.
325
00:11:35,055 --> 00:11:37,400
- We need to leave.
How are we still here?
326
00:11:37,503 --> 00:11:38,986
- Because both of us have
an underlying cowardice
327
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:39,986
that guides every decision
of our lives.
328
00:11:40,089 --> 00:11:42,952
- Oh. Yeah.
- Great news, everybody!
329
00:11:43,055 --> 00:11:46,021
All you partners just consumed
more than 3,000 calories!
330
00:11:46,124 --> 00:11:47,538
- Why would you tell us that?
331
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:48,503
- It's part of
an FDA settlement.
332
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:51,503
Whoa-oh!
333
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:53,779
That cow only moves when there's
a birthday in the barn!
334
00:11:53,883 --> 00:11:54,641
- Oh, no,
there must be some mistake--
335
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:56,538
- It's my birthday!
336
00:11:56,641 --> 00:11:58,848
- Hell yeah!
Birthday! I love it!
337
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,400
Whoop!
338
00:12:00,503 --> 00:12:02,814
Well, thank you, Sheriff.
339
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:05,296
- Oh, that's why
John is acting so weird.
340
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,641
It's his birthday.
341
00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:09,745
- Watch.
342
00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:11,745
- ♪ When the moon rises high
343
00:12:11,848 --> 00:12:13,779
♪ Way up there in the sky
344
00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:15,365
♪ It's your birthday!
345
00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:16,676
- ♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
346
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:17,986
- ♪ It's your birthday!
347
00:12:18,089 --> 00:12:19,745
- ♪ When the cows start
to prance ♪
348
00:12:19,848 --> 00:12:21,365
♪ And the horses start
to dance ♪
349
00:12:21,469 --> 00:12:23,365
♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
350
00:12:23,469 --> 00:12:25,296
- ♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
351
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,814
- ♪ Help yourself to a platter
352
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:29,572
♪ Because
nothing you do matters ♪
353
00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:31,193
♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
354
00:12:31,296 --> 00:12:33,158
- ♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
355
00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:35,021
- ♪ You're haunted by regrets
356
00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:37,089
♪ Whatcha doing with
your life? ♪
357
00:12:37,193 --> 00:12:38,745
♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
358
00:12:38,848 --> 00:12:40,745
- ♪ It's your birthday!
- ♪ It's your birthday!
359
00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,607
- ♪ Another year gone by
360
00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:46,572
♪ And you managed not to die
361
00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:47,848
♪ It's your birthday!
362
00:12:47,952 --> 00:12:55,676
- ♪ So have a glass of milk!
363
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,193
- He got milked!
364
00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:02,262
- ♪ It's your birthday!
365
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,538
- Whoo! Hoo-hoo!
366
00:13:04,641 --> 00:13:06,607
Whoop!
367
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:07,883
Make room, make room.
368
00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:10,469
You wanna move that?
Sorry. Yup. Thanks, Sonnet.
369
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,917
How great was that song,
by the way?
370
00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:14,434
It's so beautiful,
yet so frantic.
371
00:13:14,538 --> 00:13:16,469
- John, happy birthday.
This is crazy.
372
00:13:16,572 --> 00:13:17,710
Oh. It's not actually
my birthday.
373
00:13:17,814 --> 00:13:19,227
Don't be silly.
374
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,193
The Texas sized banana split
boat is my favorite thing,
375
00:13:21,296 --> 00:13:22,538
and that's the only way
to get it.
376
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:23,676
I do this all the time.
377
00:13:23,779 --> 00:13:24,710
- Wait, so they know
it's not your birthday?
378
00:13:24,814 --> 00:13:25,952
- Mm-hmm!
379
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,607
But they have to do it
if someone asks.
380
00:13:27,710 --> 00:13:28,952
It's company policy.
381
00:13:29,055 --> 00:13:30,710
- Jesus Christ.
382
00:13:30,814 --> 00:13:31,848
- Get in there!
383
00:13:31,952 --> 00:13:33,193
- Mm, mm, bananas.
- Oh, yeah.
384
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:34,331
Whoa, hold up, hold up.
385
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:35,745
Okay.
386
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,607
- I went to fucking Julliard.
387
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:44,469
- So, what do you say
we keep this party going?
388
00:13:44,572 --> 00:13:47,089
There is an awesome bar
right next to the Sephora.
389
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,331
- No, thanks.
I think we're just gonna
390
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:49,434
call it our own night.
- Oh.
391
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,434
- Oh, my God,
I used to work at Sephora.
392
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,917
- So you two are
definitely coming.
393
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,503
And I know...
394
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,193
- We have to get to Grace's
party before Daphne leaves.
395
00:13:55,296 --> 00:13:56,400
- Let's just say thanks
and good night
396
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,124
and obviously do not mention
Grace's party.
397
00:13:58,227 --> 00:13:59,641
- Got it.
I'll make up an excuse.
398
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:01,676
I did improv in college.
- Stop bringing that up.
399
00:14:01,779 --> 00:14:03,572
- You guys in?
- Yeah, we would love to come,
400
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,710
it's just that
we have to get going to...
401
00:14:05,814 --> 00:14:08,883
Um...
uh...
402
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:11,434
Uh...
Think of something.
403
00:14:11,538 --> 00:14:13,124
What could I be going to?
A party.
404
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,917
Oh, Grace's party!
No, don't say Grace's party.
405
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,883
Use your brain to think
of something--Grace's party.
406
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,296
No, not that.
Grace's party.
407
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,779
Grace's party.
408
00:14:20,883 --> 00:14:22,572
Grace's party.
409
00:14:32,469 --> 00:14:35,193
- Fuck.
I mean, hi.
410
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,193
- Mm-hmm.
Yum-yum.
411
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,296
There she is.
412
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,227
Good.
Food is up!
413
00:14:41,331 --> 00:14:43,262
So, everyone dig in, okay,
414
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,883
before the cheese congeals.
415
00:14:44,986 --> 00:14:47,434
- Why the fuck would you
bring John and Kate to my house?
416
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,227
Did you find out about
that thing I did to you
417
00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:50,365
and now you're getting revenge?
418
00:14:50,469 --> 00:14:51,434
- This is totally Matt's fault.
419
00:14:51,538 --> 00:14:52,607
Now, if you'll excuse me,
420
00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,848
I'm gonna go have
a terrible time.
421
00:14:54,952 --> 00:14:57,814
- I am so, so sorry.
422
00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,124
Anyway, is Daphne still here?
423
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,296
- Yes.
424
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,986
You should go talk to her.
425
00:15:05,089 --> 00:15:06,607
But...
426
00:15:07,848 --> 00:15:08,883
Mm.
427
00:15:08,986 --> 00:15:10,883
- Yeah, well,
I don't know it that's--okay.
428
00:15:10,986 --> 00:15:13,676
- Okay, never mind,
your hair just sucks.
429
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,676
Just please be normal.
430
00:15:15,779 --> 00:15:17,262
- Got it.
431
00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:18,262
- Please.
- Hiya, Grace.
432
00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:20,503
Listen,
I hope you don't feel awkward
433
00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:22,089
about not inviting me
to your party.
434
00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:24,434
- I don't.
- Seriously, I...I get it.
435
00:15:24,538 --> 00:15:27,469
Office John would not be
a lot of fun at a party.
436
00:15:27,572 --> 00:15:31,745
But this...is weekend John.
437
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:39,055
- Would weekend John like
a drink?
438
00:15:39,158 --> 00:15:41,158
- Yes, please,
I will take a milk.
439
00:15:41,262 --> 00:15:43,365
- I curate
an emerging artists series,
440
00:15:43,469 --> 00:15:45,434
which is basically
a fancy way of saying
441
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:47,089
"garbage my arty friends make."
442
00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:48,538
But...
443
00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:50,296
- What about you? I know
you work at Hampton-DeVille.
444
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,710
- Yeah, I'm a junior executive
in training,
445
00:15:52,814 --> 00:15:53,917
which is just
a fancy way of saying
446
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,400
that I don't know what
I'm doing with my life.
447
00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:58,538
Come on.
448
00:15:58,641 --> 00:15:59,986
I bet it's more interesting than
449
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,296
you're giving yourself
credit for.
450
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,538
Walk me through your day,
like, step by step.
451
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:05,262
- Okay...
452
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,607
I get to work at, like, 9:00.
453
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,503
And from 9:00 to 11:00,
I answer emails.
454
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:12,434
And then I go to a meeting,
455
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:16,193
where...I talk about emails.
456
00:16:16,296 --> 00:16:18,986
And then I have lunch,
457
00:16:19,089 --> 00:16:23,227
where I typically eat at my desk
and answer emails.
458
00:16:23,331 --> 00:16:26,124
- Emails.
459
00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:27,193
Emails. Emails.
460
00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:28,676
Your entire life
is answering emails.
461
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:29,883
BCC. Emails. CC.
Answer the email!
462
00:16:29,986 --> 00:16:31,538
Answer the emails.
Answer it! Reply all!
463
00:16:31,641 --> 00:16:32,814
Emails.
- You're a little boy
464
00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:34,124
inside of a man
who answers emails
465
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,572
for a living.
Answer the email!
466
00:16:35,676 --> 00:16:37,227
- I mean, there's all
different types of emails,
467
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:40,089
and I, you know, put 'em in
different boxes to organize 'em
468
00:16:40,193 --> 00:16:41,124
so that I can keep track--
- Yeah.
469
00:16:41,227 --> 00:16:42,469
- The thing is,
it's a good job for me.
470
00:16:42,572 --> 00:16:43,848
- Right, yeah.
- For me, right now,
471
00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:44,848
it's a good job, and then
at the end of the day...
472
00:16:44,952 --> 00:16:47,917
- Mm-hmm.
- I...
473
00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:50,055
answer emails.
- Right.
474
00:16:50,158 --> 00:16:52,262
That's quite a day.
475
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:54,469
Why are you wearing sweatpants?
476
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,089
- I don't want to talk about it.
477
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,055
- Oh, hey, Kate.
How are you doing?
478
00:17:00,158 --> 00:17:03,331
- Well, I'm an adult executive
479
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,296
at what appears to be
a college party.
480
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,365
- Where's your date?
481
00:17:06,469 --> 00:17:07,365
- I fired him.
482
00:17:07,469 --> 00:17:08,745
- Oh, I'm sorry.
483
00:17:08,848 --> 00:17:10,641
- Don't be--I had a Groupon
for him, anyways.
484
00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:13,538
I'm actually out here
hiding from John.
485
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,055
I've never seen a grown-up
consume so much dairy.
486
00:17:16,158 --> 00:17:18,296
- He has the diet of a
five-year-old with osteoporosis.
487
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,503
- It's ridiculous.
488
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,193
- You want to hit this?
- Kate, you smoke weed?
489
00:17:24,296 --> 00:17:25,089
- Oh, don't be so surprised.
490
00:17:25,193 --> 00:17:27,262
It's the weekend.
491
00:17:27,365 --> 00:17:28,365
And I'm a human being.
492
00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:30,021
- Aw, shit.
493
00:17:31,089 --> 00:17:32,055
- ♪ Smoke weed
494
00:17:32,158 --> 00:17:34,021
♪ Get crazy
495
00:17:34,124 --> 00:17:35,365
♪ Gettin' crazy
496
00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:36,848
♪ Smoke weed
497
00:17:40,089 --> 00:17:41,503
- Well, I feel a little better.
498
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:44,158
- It's slightly more tolerable
to be at this party right now.
499
00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:45,538
- And here's my bedroom.
- Wow.
500
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,779
- As you can see, there's
nothing notable about it.
501
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:49,538
- Huh.
- Okay, that's it, tour's over.
502
00:17:49,641 --> 00:17:52,124
- Wow.
Great, concise tour, Grace.
503
00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,676
- I learned a lot.
504
00:17:53,779 --> 00:17:55,710
You know, since we're getting
to know each other
505
00:17:55,814 --> 00:17:57,296
a bit out of the office,
here's a little personal tidbit
506
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,883
about me:
my second week at Yale,
507
00:18:00,986 --> 00:18:05,365
my roommate hanged himself
with my bed sheets.
508
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:09,331
And to this day,
I do not sleep in a bed.
509
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:13,193
- Wow, that's quite a tidbit.
510
00:18:13,296 --> 00:18:14,124
- Doug Feldman.
511
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,365
- ♪ We were...
512
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:18,124
- Do you know what I love
about dancing?
513
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,055
- What?
- It makes you feel like
514
00:18:19,158 --> 00:18:21,331
you're experiencing something,
515
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,055
even though
it's totally pointless.
516
00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:24,538
- Yeah, my body feels like
it's having a good time
517
00:18:24,641 --> 00:18:26,848
right now, even though
I'm absolutely not.
518
00:18:26,952 --> 00:18:28,952
- Oh, no way!
519
00:18:29,055 --> 00:18:31,227
Is this a virtual reality
thingamajig?
520
00:18:31,331 --> 00:18:33,503
- Yeah, you should try it.
521
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:36,124
You can leave this party behind
and enter a new reality.
522
00:18:36,227 --> 00:18:38,365
I think we'd all
like to see that.
523
00:18:38,469 --> 00:18:39,745
- Could you hold my milk?
524
00:18:41,986 --> 00:18:44,469
Ooh.
Oh, baby!
525
00:18:44,572 --> 00:18:45,710
Whoa!
526
00:18:45,814 --> 00:18:47,538
What?
527
00:18:47,641 --> 00:18:48,883
Oh, my God, that's my arm.
528
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,021
Grace, is this my arm?
529
00:18:50,124 --> 00:18:51,021
- Think I'm gonna get
a restraining order
530
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:53,503
against weekend John.
531
00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:54,641
- Get out of here.
What is that, a bee?
532
00:18:54,745 --> 00:18:56,124
Or like a bee--
533
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:57,193
That's like a full beehive
or something like that.
534
00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:59,158
- How'd it go with Daphne?
535
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:04,607
Should have gotten that haircut.
536
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,365
Or developed a more
dynamic personality
537
00:19:07,469 --> 00:19:08,745
over the last 29 years.
538
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,296
- Help me, please.
I-I'm on a cliff right now.
539
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,710
G-Grace?
Grace, I'm on a cliff!
540
00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:21,917
- Well, at least he didn't puke
in my virtual reality headset.
541
00:19:24,676 --> 00:19:26,952
- Okay, party's over.
Everyone out!
542
00:19:32,365 --> 00:19:33,572
- So, I actually had fun
543
00:19:33,676 --> 00:19:35,365
not having fun with you
at this party.
544
00:19:35,469 --> 00:19:36,572
- Yeah, me too.
545
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,641
Do you want to share an Uber?
546
00:19:37,745 --> 00:19:40,089
- Oh, no, thanks.
I've got a ride.
547
00:19:43,227 --> 00:19:44,469
Don't even tell me your name.
548
00:19:44,572 --> 00:19:47,089
You, in the back.
I'm driving.
549
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:49,848
- How do I get that job?
550
00:19:49,952 --> 00:19:51,883
This was a total waste
of a Saturday.
551
00:19:51,986 --> 00:19:53,814
I'm gonna have to really
make up for this on Sunday.
552
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,607
- Not a chance.
Sundays are worthless.
553
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:57,193
Spend the entire day
dreading Monday.
554
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:58,883
You'll be back at work
before you even know...
555
00:19:58,986 --> 00:20:00,089
What happened with John
the other night?
556
00:20:00,193 --> 00:20:01,676
- He passed out,
and I couldn't get him
557
00:20:01,779 --> 00:20:03,055
out of my house
till Sunday afternoon.
558
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,538
Now he wants to take me
to some place called Milk Barn
559
00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:07,158
for a thank-you dinner
this weekend.
560
00:20:07,262 --> 00:20:09,607
- Oh, God, Grace, no.
561
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,021
- Don't worry.
I handled it.
562
00:20:11,124 --> 00:20:13,676
If anybody asks,
I'm doing Habitat for Humanity
563
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:17,986
every Saturday and Sunday
until either John or I dies.
564
00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:21,158
- Hey, guys.
Great weekend, huh?
565
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,676
Too bad it's Monday again.
566
00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:23,952
- Yeah,
guess now that we're friends,
567
00:20:24,055 --> 00:20:26,296
you can't boss us around
anymore, huh?
568
00:20:30,365 --> 00:20:31,848
- Matt.
569
00:20:31,952 --> 00:20:35,296
It seems like you think
you're talking to weekend John.
570
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,883
But this is office John.
571
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:42,952
And he is not
your fucking friend.
572
00:20:45,952 --> 00:20:47,848
- Hey, Kate, how's it going?
- Nothing has changed
573
00:20:47,952 --> 00:20:49,710
between us.
- That's cool.
574
00:20:49,814 --> 00:20:51,469
And it doesn't hurt my feelings.
575
00:21:04,917 --> 00:21:08,296
- ♪ The American dream
576
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:12,469
- ♪ I love you Charles
577
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,779
♪ I love you Rick
578
00:21:14,883 --> 00:21:16,676
♪ I love you Daniel
579
00:21:16,779 --> 00:21:18,331
♪ I'm feeling sick
580
00:21:18,434 --> 00:21:19,572
♪ Sick with love
581
00:21:19,676 --> 00:21:21,503
♪ For my fri--
582
00:21:21,607 --> 00:21:23,641
Charles, I'm singing.
41728
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