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Game.
Once again, the better team reigns victorious.
Next time, why don't you take Leslie for a partner,
give me Jane?
Then we'll see who reigns victorious.
Well, of course, dear,
if you really think it matters.
I don't know about the rest of you,
but I could really use a good shower.
Be a good girl and take my little jacket for me.
Thanks so much.
You don't really think teams have anything to do with it?
I mean, let's face it.
Lori's just a better player than the rest of us.
Of course Lori's better than the rest of us.
She's been playing longer.
Now, Kay, it's no more than a matter of touch,
pure and simple.
I'm inclined to agree with Lori.
As long as I've known you,
it's been your nature to agree with Lori.
Much to her credit.
Win or lose, I'm just glad to be playing.
What was that, honey?
I said it doesn't matter who wins or loses.
It's the game that counts.
How original.
I didn't think you had it in you to be so profound.
Yeah, mind if I laminate that for my wallet?
Now, girls, I know exactly what Leslie means,
and I agree with her 100%.
Thank you, Lori.
I'm glad you see things my way.
Ah yeah...
Feels so good.
I sure enjoyed that.
I'm sure you did, dear.
What are we doing tomorrow?
I haven't decided yet.
Yes, you have.
I beg your pardon.
Tomorrow's Wednesday.
So?
Kay's right, dear.
Last week, we decided to make Wednesday theater day.
Oh, yes, of course.
I forgot.
Why, Jane, how could you forget something
as wonderful as theater day?
I didn't forget.
Naturally.
Did you get the tickets?
Yeah, they're right here in my purse.
I'm protecting them with my life.
I'm sure you are, Leslie.
I'm sure you are.
The rest of us are grateful, aren't we, dears?
Of course we are.
That depends.
What are we going to see?
I hope it's comedy.
Of course it's a comedy, isn't it, dear?
I think so.
What do you mean, you think so?
Not sure.
What difference does it make?
A lot of difference.
We all like to laugh, don't we?
Jane's right, that's all there is to it.
What is the name of the play?
I'm not sure, I'll have to look.
Um.
Oh, here they are.
Eugene O'Neill's "the iceman cometh."
Oh, sounds dirty.
There, you see?
Nothing to worry about.
What?
Did you ever hear of a person named Eugene
that was capable of writing anything but a comedy?
Be serious.
I can't wait.
I love the theater.
Oh, really?
I wouldn't be in such a hurry to leave home.
What do you mean?
If I had a niece that looked like yours
and a husband as horny as yours,
I don't think I'd be so willing to leave the house.
You must be kidding.
I must.
Of course she's kidding.
Never mind, go back to whatever you're doing.
Outside, ball two, two and one to limozili.
Golly.
Mike lacost, just 23 years old.
Tall, thin right-hander.
He's 6'4", weighs 190.
Born in glendale, makes his home now in visalia, California.
The runner goes,
and it's hit in the air to left field.
Back goes George foster,
and foster makes the catch.
The mets did put the play on.
They played hit and run.
Limozili hit it hard,
but within the reach of the left-fielder foster.
One away, and the cleanup batter Richie hepner takes his turn
Bring it, Yankees.
Richie always looks
like he's enjoying his turn at bat,
even when the hits aren't falling.
Ball one.
It's usually after he swings
and misses at a pitch
that he'll pick up a clod,
and hit it like you were hitting a fungo.
Pitch out called by Johnny bench.
Two balls and no strikes to Richie hepner.
New York trailing one, nothing.
We're in the fourth inning.
Yeah, give him the ball.
Don't swing, don't...
Ah, you...
Came pretty close
to being a low throw.
Lori, is that you?
Yes, dear.
Are you coming in here, dear?
Yes, dear.
Um, are you sure you're coming in here?
Yes, dear.
I'm watching the ball game.
I'll be in in a minute, dear.
I'll be out in a minute, dear.
Yankee game's not on yet
Hi Burt!
What are you doing out here in the moonlight?
Come to think of it,
what am I out here doing in the moonlight?
Oh, that's right, I'm returning this cup
of sugar to Lori that she loaned me last week.
Sorry, it's cute.
Moonlight.
You know, my husband Raymond and I,
when we were first married,
I used to sing to him in the moonlight.
Oh?
Yes.
J moon river
j wider than a mile
j I'm crossing you in style today
I know the words.
J wherever you're going, I'm going your way
You should've seen the look
on Kay's face when Lori and I won the game.
It was priceless, absolutely priceless.
Yes, dear.
She's such a poor loser.
I'm sure that she is.
Jealousy, I suppose.
And that Leslie, she is such a schmuck,
so helpless, no class.
She wouldn't know a Rembrandt from a paint by number.
I don't know why Lori insists
on taking her with us to public places.
Neither do I.
Can't think for the life of me...
Quiet, I'm trying to watch the show.
Sorry, dear.
Intellectually stimulating.
Not tonight, Harry.
I'm not in the mood.
You're never in the mood.
What's gotten into you?
I guess you could say I'm that Cosmopolitan girl.
Did you have a nice day today, honey?
Not especially.
What's on the agenda for tomorrow?
Why do you ask?
It's just that every day seems to be something different.
If it's not racquetball, it's mahjong.
If it's not mahjong, it's bridge.
Why don't you just stay home once in a while?
Why should 1?
No reason, no reason.
Don't forget to turn off the light when you go to bed.
Don't worry, dear.
Everything's fine.
Don't worry.
Good night.
Life in the brothel
was not always so hectic.
On Sundays, for instance, the mayor forbid us
to open our doors to the public.
And we were forced to amuse ourselves
in various and sundry ways
that were much to my liking.
I particularly remember one hot,
sticky summer Sunday in July
when it was my turn to rule the roost.
Kay, what is it?
It's nothing.
I was just having a nightmare.
Go back to sleep.
A nightmare?
I hope it wasn't too unpleasant.
Well, it wasn't a picnic, but I'll survive.
Go back to sleep.
Jerry, I said go back to sleep.
That's better.
I don't know why you do it.
Do what?
Hang around with those three women.
Why, Raymond, those are the best friends
a girl could ever ask for.
Sure they are.
Well, what would it look like
if I didn't associate with the wives of your friends?
We ride the train together, that's all.
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm trying on this new cold cream
that Lori told me all about.
Sabotage.
What?
Lori told you about it, it must be sabotage.
It probably eats away skin.
Oh, don't be silly.
And besides, couldn't you wait
until later to put it on?
Oh, Raymond, whatever do you mean?
It doesn't do much for me... sexually.
That bathrobe, couldn't you wear something nicer to bed?
Or better yet, nothing at all?
Why, Raymond, you know we had this conversation before,
and we're not ready for any more children.
Not yet, anyway.
I forgot.
Oh well, you're excused.
Are you all right in there?
Of course I'm all right.
What do you think I am, a two-year-old?
I was concerned.
It's been so quiet in there.
There, is that better?
Just knowing that you're all right makes it better.
Oh, Raymond, do you remember
when I used to sing you to sleep
when we first got married?
Do you remember that song?
J good night, my love
j pleasant dreams, sleep tight, my love
good night, Leslie.
Oh.
Nighty-night, dear.
J sister midnight
Hello slave.
Comfortable?
No
No? What do you mean, no?
What do you say? What do you mean?
Let me out of this.
You want out of it?
Yes.
That's no way for a slave to talk to his mistress.
Don't you think so?
Hmm?
Slave!
You comfortable slave?
No..
Not comfortable? What's a matter?
You cold slave?
Don't feel well?
What's the matter? Nobody take care of you?
Ugh..
Looks like somebody's been here before I have..
I think you best tell me you're comfortable
don't you slave?
Hey! Answer me!
What?!
I'm comfortable
comfortable what?
You miserable dog..
You're not a very good slave
there's not much to do with you either.
Doubt if you could even untie yourself
you know what I mean?
Course there's not much to do with something like you.
Just get rid of you.
Maybe just leave you here and never feed you.
Just starve with the rats...
Yeah, I can see the cock roaches on your balls.
Dog.
You turn my stomach again.
What slave?
Come back!
Please. Come back!
Leslie.
Yes, dear?
Can I ask you something?
Yes, dear.
Haven't you ever wanted to...
Yes, Raymond?
Haven't you ever wanted to...
Yes, Raymond?
To do something dirty.
Oh, Raymond, you're such a kidder.
Look, can you make sure
your throw-up's all the way flushed
before you come back to bed?
Nighty-night.
Oh, by the way, I was thinking
about, every theater day now is on Wednesday.
We're all going to the theater this week.
I don't quite recall what we're going to see.
It was something about a guy named Eugene, and he cometh.
I don't have a sister, but if I had a sister...
But if you had a sister, would you fuck her?
Well, I would fuck everybody else.
Why wouldn't I fuck my sister?
I'd certainly fuck your sister.
I know you would.
Or your sister-in-law for that matter.
All right, all right.
Will you relax?
Yeah, take it easy.
Harry's right, ray.
Sit down.
Enjoy the view.
See what I mean?
How'd you like to spend a few days with that?
I never indulge in fantasies.
They drain the life fluids.
They do what?
They drain the life fluids.
What life fluids?
You know, the fluids important to life.
Is he kidding?
I'm not kidding.
I don't think he's kidding.
You're kidding, right, Raymond?
Wrong, Harold, I'm 100% serious.
Butch, I'm a married woman.
Just fill up my tank and stop eyeing me that way.
Then he had the nerve to say...
Will there be anything else, ladies?
He says to me, I'd be glad to fill up your tank anytime.
Can you imagine the nerve?
What do you want?
Well there be anything else?
Well, I'd like a...
No, no, thank you, just be on your merry way.
Yes, ma'am.
Impertinent bastard.
Take it easy.
He's just doing his job.
I think he's kinda cute.
You would.
These glasses should've been chilled.
Why didn't they chill these glasses?
Calm down.
What difference does it make?
No, Jane is absolutely right.
They're much better chilled, aren't they, Leslie?
I guess so.
There, you see?
Oh, I give up.
You should give up.
Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
Whatever you think it's supposed to mean.
Girls, girls.
No, tell me.
What did you mean by that remark?
What remark?
I've forgotten already.
Then I'll remind you.
You were telling me I should...
Girls, girls, look,
we've come into the city to have a good time.
Let's not ruin it before the day has started.
Shut up, Leslie.
No, no, Leslie's right.
I must've forgotten myself for a moment.
I accept your apology.
I didn't say anything about an apology.
Then I'm still waiting for one.
Wait all you'd like, dear.
What time is it, Jane?
Almost 1:30.
We'd better be on our way.
We wouldn't want to be late for the theater.
Uh oh.
What do you mean, uh oh?
I'm afraid there's been an accident.
What kind of accident?
I seem to have forgotten the tickets.
What?
Now, now, girls, let's not be too hasty.
It's probably somewhere mislaid
at the bottom of your purse.
I have a confession to make.
What is it?
I seem to have brought the wrong purse.
You what?
Why, you little idiot.
I'm sorry.
Take a walk, Leslie.
What?
I said take a walk.
You no longer amuse me.
Amuse you?
You heard what I said.
Now take a walk.
Well, maybe I could...
Goodbye, Leslie,
and don't get lost on the way home.
She had it coming.
Now what are we going to do?
Waiter, more Perrier.
And then to the spa.
Jesus Christ, Lori,
don't we get enough exercise playing racquetball?
There's no such thing as too much exercise, right, Lori?
Right.
Like I said, a healthy body promotes a healthy mind.
Yes, sir, like I said,
a healthy body promotes a healthy mind.
Truer words never spoken.
Look girls, it's early.
Why don't you two stop in for a drink?
Oh, well, I think I'l take advantage of the hour,
make a nice, quiet dinner for my husband.
Kay, I can't believe it's you talking.
Whatever's gotten into you?
Yeah, are you crazy or something?
Well, maybe just for a minute.
It's too hot to cook anyway.
I knew you'd see things my way.
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