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00:00:20,469 --> 00:00:22,021
- Hey, Matt.
2
00:00:22,124 --> 00:00:23,124
Got your email
with the report.
3
00:00:23,227 --> 00:00:24,710
Thanks so much
for sending.
4
00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:27,089
Question:
did you CC John on that?
5
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,710
- Uh, yes.
I believe I did.
6
00:00:28,814 --> 00:00:30,296
- Oh, that's interesting,
'cause I'm looking
7
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,986
at that email right now,
and you didn't.
8
00:00:33,089 --> 00:00:33,952
- Oh.
9
00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:35,641
- You BCC'd me.
10
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,538
- Oh.
Uh...
11
00:00:37,641 --> 00:00:38,814
You still got the email then,
right?
12
00:00:38,917 --> 00:00:40,055
- I did.
- Look.
13
00:00:40,158 --> 00:00:41,296
I know you're new around here,
so I just want to
14
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,434
make sure that you understand
the email protocol.
15
00:00:43,538 --> 00:00:47,296
You always CC both John and I
on all work emails,
16
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,917
'cause if you BCC him,
then I can't check
17
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:52,055
to make sure
that you CC'd him, hmm?
18
00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,124
- Got it.
19
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,917
I made a mistake.
- Great.
20
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:58,400
Question: why did you
make that mistake?
21
00:00:58,503 --> 00:00:59,538
- Um...
22
00:00:59,641 --> 00:01:01,055
I guess I'm a little tired
this morning.
23
00:01:01,158 --> 00:01:02,193
- Aww, gosh.
- Uh-huh.
24
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,607
Why are you so tired?
25
00:01:04,710 --> 00:01:06,917
- I have anxiety that sometimes
keeps me up at night.
26
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:09,089
- What causes this anxiety?
27
00:01:09,193 --> 00:01:10,538
- I guess sometimes
I feel like this can be
28
00:01:10,641 --> 00:01:12,676
sort of a confrontational
work environment.
29
00:01:12,779 --> 00:01:14,331
- Hey, bud,
Hampton DeVille encourages
30
00:01:14,434 --> 00:01:16,158
aggressive
confrontational criticism.
31
00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:17,848
- Why don't you
like confrontation?
32
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:18,986
Defend your position.
33
00:01:19,089 --> 00:01:20,365
- Oh.
Uh...
34
00:01:20,469 --> 00:01:22,365
No, I mean, I think
confrontation is a good thing.
35
00:01:22,469 --> 00:01:23,607
It's just sometimes
confrontation
36
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,055
hurts my job performance
37
00:01:25,158 --> 00:01:27,193
and damages
my personal wellbeing.
38
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,365
- Uh-oh; well, if you can't
39
00:01:28,469 --> 00:01:30,089
manage your emotions, Matt,
40
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,331
what makes you think
you're qualified
41
00:01:31,434 --> 00:01:33,745
to manage people
at this company?
42
00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:34,917
- Honestly, I don't know.
43
00:01:35,021 --> 00:01:35,917
- Oh.
44
00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:37,848
- I never really
saw myself here.
45
00:01:37,952 --> 00:01:40,400
I mean, after college,
I volunteered for a program
46
00:01:40,503 --> 00:01:43,952
teaching underprivileged kids
because I wanted to help people,
47
00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:46,055
but then one of the students
stabbed me,
48
00:01:46,158 --> 00:01:48,021
and the school was pretty dirty
49
00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:50,331
and I just realized
I wasn't cut out for it.
50
00:01:50,434 --> 00:01:53,193
So I moved back in
with my parents,
51
00:01:53,296 --> 00:01:55,434
which, I'm pretty sure
led to them getting a divorce,
52
00:01:55,538 --> 00:01:58,400
because that's what
they told me happened.
53
00:01:58,503 --> 00:02:02,331
Then I worked a series of jobs
that eventually landed me here,
54
00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:03,572
where I'm just a cog
55
00:02:03,676 --> 00:02:05,814
in a soulless corporate machine,
and I'm not--
56
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,745
- Okay, well,
just make sure that you CC
57
00:02:07,848 --> 00:02:09,676
both John and I
on all work emails.
58
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:10,814
It's a simple mistake,
59
00:02:10,917 --> 00:02:12,158
but it's just important
to follow protocol.
60
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,124
- Yes.
61
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,331
Jake, question:
62
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:16,469
why do you think it's okay
63
00:02:16,572 --> 00:02:18,331
to come in to work
with your shirt untucked?
64
00:02:18,434 --> 00:02:21,227
- Because life is meaningless,
and nothing we do matters.
65
00:02:21,331 --> 00:02:22,469
- Okay, great.
66
00:02:22,572 --> 00:02:24,158
- Have a great day, you two.
- Thanks, guys.
67
00:02:45,848 --> 00:02:48,572
- Hampton DeVille has emerged
as one of the largest,
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00:02:48,676 --> 00:02:51,572
most profitable corporations
in the world,
69
00:02:51,676 --> 00:02:54,607
with over 300,000 employees
internationally,
70
00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:57,503
their footprint
stretches across the globe.
71
00:02:57,607 --> 00:03:00,365
Under the leadership
of their CEO Christian DeVille,
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00:03:00,469 --> 00:03:02,572
they've become market leaders
in everything
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00:03:02,676 --> 00:03:05,779
from agricultural goods
to pharmaceuticals,
74
00:03:05,883 --> 00:03:09,503
from household appliances
to industrial weaponry.
75
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,365
You've probably
heard their slogan.
76
00:03:11,469 --> 00:03:14,538
Hampton DeVille:
we make everything.
77
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:17,572
But now they are attempting
to muscle their way
78
00:03:17,676 --> 00:03:20,814
up the highly competitive
tech industry.
79
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:23,641
Today marks the launch
of the Obelisk,
80
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,917
Hampton DeVille's
touch screen tablet
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00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:27,262
which boasts a screen
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00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:30,641
eight times the size
of the iPad.
83
00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,503
But that launch
may be in jeopardy
84
00:03:33,607 --> 00:03:35,607
after an insensitive tweet
was sent out
85
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:38,262
from Hampton DeVille's
twitter account earlier today.
86
00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:41,779
As Hurricane Letisha continues
to devastate the Gulf Coast,
87
00:03:41,883 --> 00:03:43,365
Hampton DeVille tweeted,
88
00:03:43,469 --> 00:03:46,296
"Was your house blown away
by Hurricane Letisha?
89
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,227
"Pick up the Obelisk
to follow hurricane news.
90
00:03:49,331 --> 00:03:51,641
You'll be blown away
by the size."
91
00:03:51,745 --> 00:03:53,676
In response
to the offensive tweet,
92
00:03:53,779 --> 00:03:57,262
the Internet is calling for
a boycott of the Obelisk.
93
00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:17,365
- Do you think we're gonna
get to eat anything today?
94
00:04:17,469 --> 00:04:18,434
- Don't count on it.
95
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:20,503
There's a rigid
food hierarchy here.
96
00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,676
Executives get first pick,
then junior executives,
97
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:24,503
then us, the junior executives
in training.
98
00:04:24,607 --> 00:04:26,400
- $500 billion corporation
99
00:04:26,503 --> 00:04:28,331
and they never have enough
bagels for everyone.
100
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,055
- Why didn't you eat breakfast
before work?
101
00:04:30,158 --> 00:04:31,262
- I didn't have time.
102
00:04:31,365 --> 00:04:33,400
I hit the snooze button
15 times this morning,
103
00:04:33,503 --> 00:04:36,469
which is a new record that
I'm actually kind of proud of.
104
00:04:36,572 --> 00:04:37,883
Did you eat anything?
105
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:38,779
- No.
106
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,089
I'm trying to
watch my figure.
107
00:04:40,193 --> 00:04:41,296
I want to have a hot body
108
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,193
'cause I'm tired of
developing my personality.
109
00:04:43,296 --> 00:04:44,538
- Yeah, I've been there.
110
00:04:44,641 --> 00:04:45,883
- Yum.
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00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,021
I love eclairs.
112
00:04:47,124 --> 00:04:49,296
- Oh, my god.
This is so good.
113
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,365
I'm gonna take two.
114
00:04:52,469 --> 00:04:53,814
- Aggressive.
115
00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:55,124
Confident.
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00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:58,262
I like that you're not afraid
to take what you want.
117
00:05:00,848 --> 00:05:02,952
- Damn it.
There's only two bagels left.
118
00:05:03,055 --> 00:05:04,745
- Whoa, have you seen this tweet
the company sent out?
119
00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:06,607
The Internet is freaking out
about it.
120
00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:08,745
- "You'll be blown away
by the size"?
121
00:05:08,848 --> 00:05:09,779
Jesus Christ.
122
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,572
We're living
inside of a nightmare.
123
00:05:16,124 --> 00:05:17,607
- Why in the fuck
124
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,883
is everyone
standing around eating bagels
125
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,296
while we are being crucified
on the Internet?
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00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,193
Spit out those bagels!
We have work to do!
127
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:30,883
- No!
128
00:05:30,986 --> 00:05:33,296
Sorry.
129
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,296
- Everyone in this room,
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00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,400
look to your left.
131
00:05:39,331 --> 00:05:41,400
Now...
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00:05:41,503 --> 00:05:43,848
look to your right.
133
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,710
100% of those people
134
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:50,469
are ruining my fucking day.
135
00:05:50,572 --> 00:05:52,227
- Look, that one over there's
still good.
136
00:05:52,331 --> 00:05:53,572
I'm gonna get it
after the meeting.
137
00:05:53,676 --> 00:05:55,158
- Yeah,
but there's no cream cheese.
138
00:05:55,262 --> 00:05:57,331
On the wall over there.
139
00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:58,676
- Into developing the Obelisk,
140
00:05:58,779 --> 00:06:01,089
and now its success
is being threatened
141
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:02,952
by a fucking tweet.
142
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,676
Fuck you.
143
00:06:08,572 --> 00:06:10,469
- I wish I could be
more like Christian.
144
00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:12,365
- Why? He acts like
a complete psychopath
145
00:06:12,469 --> 00:06:13,814
and nobody stands up to him.
146
00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:14,676
- Exactly.
147
00:06:14,779 --> 00:06:15,676
He fought his way to the top,
148
00:06:15,779 --> 00:06:16,745
and now he gets to treat people
149
00:06:16,848 --> 00:06:18,641
like they're
his personal service dogs.
150
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:19,883
- If I ever get to the top,
I'm gonna at least
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00:06:19,986 --> 00:06:21,952
make sure everyone
gets a goddamn bagel.
152
00:06:22,055 --> 00:06:22,814
- Don't worry.
153
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:24,158
You'll be corrupted by power.
154
00:06:24,262 --> 00:06:25,365
That's part of growing up.
155
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,952
- I want to tell you a story.
156
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,779
It's about a shepherd.
157
00:06:29,883 --> 00:06:32,158
One day,
he lost his entire flock.
158
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:34,193
I mean, every single sheep
took off
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00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:36,021
except one.
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00:06:37,779 --> 00:06:38,952
So there he is,
out in the middle
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00:06:39,055 --> 00:06:41,262
of this open field
with just one sheep,
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00:06:41,365 --> 00:06:43,158
and what do you think he did?
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00:06:45,124 --> 00:06:48,538
He pulled out a gun,
and he blew its brains out.
164
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,503
Then he went out
and got himself a real job,
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00:06:51,607 --> 00:06:53,469
because being a shepherd
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00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:56,400
pays shit.
167
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,917
Well, people, that ain't me.
168
00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:01,434
Because we are
in cattle country,
169
00:07:01,538 --> 00:07:02,848
and I am Ben Cartwright,
170
00:07:02,952 --> 00:07:05,745
and this is fucking "Bonanza!"
171
00:07:13,779 --> 00:07:15,227
So how bad is this?
172
00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:17,538
- We ran the numbers,
and more people are outraged
173
00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:19,365
about the tweet than they are
about the hurricane.
174
00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:21,227
- Comparatively,
people like the hurricane
175
00:07:21,331 --> 00:07:22,883
more than they like
the tweet.
176
00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:24,055
- Jesus Christ.
177
00:07:24,158 --> 00:07:26,193
We have got to distract people
from this tweet.
178
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:27,572
So what are our options?
179
00:07:27,676 --> 00:07:29,124
Can we start
a different hurricane?
180
00:07:29,227 --> 00:07:31,365
Have we finished building
that hurricane machine yet?
181
00:07:31,469 --> 00:07:33,572
- Uh...
182
00:07:33,676 --> 00:07:34,814
- Sir, I--
183
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:37,917
I believe
I speak for everyone--
184
00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:39,469
Bruce?
185
00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,158
When I say
we thought you were joking
186
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,814
when you asked us to do that.
187
00:07:42,917 --> 00:07:46,021
- I would never joke
about hurricanes.
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00:07:46,124 --> 00:07:48,262
That's what got us
into this mess.
189
00:07:48,365 --> 00:07:49,503
- Does it ever bother you
190
00:07:49,607 --> 00:07:52,158
that the corporation we work for
is, like, evil?
191
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,469
- Every corporation is evil.
192
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:55,710
At least we get health benefits.
- Yeah.
193
00:07:55,814 --> 00:07:57,331
Wait.
You get health benefits?
194
00:07:57,434 --> 00:07:58,814
- Sir,
195
00:07:58,917 --> 00:08:01,710
they're turning you
into a meme on the Internet.
196
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:09,607
- We'll see
who has a small penis
197
00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:13,158
once I have
my hurricane machine.
198
00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:15,400
And you two need to find out who
wrote that tweet and fire them.
199
00:08:15,503 --> 00:08:16,469
- We're on top of it, sir.
200
00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,193
- We will handle it
personally.
201
00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:19,365
You two need to find out
202
00:08:19,469 --> 00:08:20,917
who wrote that tweet
and fire them.
203
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,296
- Thought you guys said
you would do it.
204
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,021
- Telling you to do it
is doing it.
205
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:25,917
- Yeah, you guys
should be excited.
206
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:28,676
We want to use you as our tools
in this situation.
207
00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:30,400
- Yes, think of yourself
as tools.
208
00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:31,917
- You guys are tools.
209
00:08:33,503 --> 00:08:34,641
- I don't know
if I can fire someone.
210
00:08:34,745 --> 00:08:36,296
I hate confrontation.
211
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,641
When I first met
my brother-in-law,
212
00:08:37,745 --> 00:08:39,710
he thought my name was Mark,
and I never corrected him.
213
00:08:39,814 --> 00:08:41,676
So now I just don't go to
Thanksgiving anymore.
214
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,538
- Dude, you don't get it.
This is big.
215
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:44,848
Getting to fire someone
216
00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:46,848
is like when a mafia don
sends you on your first hit.
217
00:08:46,952 --> 00:08:48,503
It means we're in.
- What if I don't want to do it?
218
00:08:48,607 --> 00:08:49,641
- Then we get whacked.
219
00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:50,710
- I think if I was in the mafia,
220
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:51,814
I would just be the guy
221
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,089
who stayed home
and made spaghetti.
222
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:54,952
- This is the first time
in five years of working here
223
00:08:55,055 --> 00:08:56,883
that I've been given
any sort of power.
224
00:08:56,986 --> 00:08:59,193
And I'm going to abuse it
for all that it's worth.
225
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,055
- Can I tell you something else?
226
00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:06,469
The idea of firing someone
kind of turns me on.
227
00:09:06,572 --> 00:09:08,641
- Your sexuality worries me.
- Me too.
228
00:09:08,745 --> 00:09:10,296
I don't understand
the porn I'm into these days.
229
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,400
- Jake, please don't tell me
what kind of porn you watch.
230
00:09:12,503 --> 00:09:13,607
- Tentacle porn?
231
00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:15,055
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've watched that.
232
00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:16,917
But honestly, nowadays,
my ideal porn
233
00:09:17,021 --> 00:09:18,572
would just be
all of my ex-girlfriends
234
00:09:18,676 --> 00:09:20,227
saying sorry to me
at the same time.
235
00:09:20,331 --> 00:09:22,538
- That already exists.
It's called apology bukakke.
236
00:09:22,641 --> 00:09:23,710
Hey, Grace.
237
00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,365
- Hi, guys.
What's up?
238
00:09:25,469 --> 00:09:27,641
- We need to know who runs the
Hampton DeVille twitter account.
239
00:09:27,745 --> 00:09:28,952
- Okay.
240
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:30,883
Looks like that would be Baron.
241
00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:33,607
He's our social media "guru."
242
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,503
Wait.
Is this about that tweet?
243
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:38,158
- Yeah, John and Kate said we
have to fire whoever wrote it.
244
00:09:38,262 --> 00:09:40,365
- They're finally
letting you guys fire someone?
245
00:09:40,469 --> 00:09:42,434
Congratulations.
246
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:43,607
Who's gonna pull the trigger?
247
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:44,676
- I am.
248
00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:46,710
He's just gonna watch.
249
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,158
- Look at these people.
250
00:09:52,262 --> 00:09:54,814
Is everyone at this company
clinically depressed?
251
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,434
- Everyone here
is hanging by a thread.
252
00:09:56,538 --> 00:09:57,848
They could snap at any moment.
253
00:09:57,952 --> 00:09:59,572
- These were all children once.
254
00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:01,641
Happy, innocent children.
255
00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:03,952
And now look at them.
How did this happen?
256
00:10:04,055 --> 00:10:05,986
- They're all just trying
to fill the void.
257
00:10:06,089 --> 00:10:06,986
- The void?
258
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:08,158
- You know,
259
00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:10,848
the emptiness
that exists inside all of us.
260
00:10:10,952 --> 00:10:12,055
- Oh, right.
Of course.
261
00:10:13,607 --> 00:10:15,158
The void.
262
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:26,883
- Watch this.
263
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:28,848
I'm gonna
take this guy out.
264
00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:33,089
Hey, Baron.
265
00:10:33,193 --> 00:10:34,365
Listen up.
266
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:35,952
We know
you wrote that tweet.
267
00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:38,503
You're a bad employee,
an even worse person,
268
00:10:38,607 --> 00:10:39,952
and even bigger loser.
269
00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,296
Your only job is to tweet,
270
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,641
yet you still managed
to ruin the reputation
271
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:48,089
of the entire company,
so guess what.
272
00:10:48,193 --> 00:10:49,952
You're fired.
273
00:10:52,158 --> 00:10:53,158
What's your name?
274
00:10:53,262 --> 00:10:54,469
- Jake Levinson.
275
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:56,917
- You know what's cool about
the Internet, Jake Levinson?
276
00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:58,400
It keeps a record of
pretty much everything
277
00:10:58,503 --> 00:11:00,883
you ever say or do.
278
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:02,124
For example,
I just found this video
279
00:11:02,227 --> 00:11:03,952
of the punk band
you sang for in college.
280
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:05,193
- Oh, no.
281
00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:07,296
♪ Don't get a job,
fight the government ♪
282
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,365
♪ Steal from the rich,
punch the president ♪
283
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,745
- And what's your name?
284
00:11:11,848 --> 00:11:12,986
- I'm not going to tell you,
because I never figured out
285
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,193
how to deactivate my LiveJournal
from high school.
286
00:11:15,296 --> 00:11:17,400
- Listen up,
you spineless yuppies!
287
00:11:17,503 --> 00:11:19,365
I fucking
own the Internet.
288
00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:22,607
You remember that, uh,
Egyptian revolution in 2011?
289
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:24,676
I started that shit
with a single hashtag.
290
00:11:24,779 --> 00:11:26,296
I can't point Egypt out
on a map,
291
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,779
but I toppled a dictatorship
that ruled for decades
292
00:11:28,883 --> 00:11:30,779
because I was bored.
293
00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:31,917
So don't come in here
294
00:11:32,021 --> 00:11:34,779
pretending like
you're in control of me.
295
00:11:34,883 --> 00:11:35,883
- Fuck you, mom!
296
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:40,055
- I'm a social...media...guru.
297
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,538
And you will bow down before me.
298
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:44,572
Also I didn't tweet it.
299
00:11:44,676 --> 00:11:47,262
It was Richard.
300
00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:50,814
- I will not be a slave
to the corporate system.
301
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:53,641
- Hi, Richard, I'm Matt.
This is Jake.
302
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,331
We're junior executives
in training.
303
00:11:55,434 --> 00:11:56,331
- Whoa, executives?
304
00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:57,365
That's cool.
305
00:11:57,469 --> 00:11:58,607
- Yes, it is cool.
306
00:11:58,710 --> 00:11:59,814
So, Richard, we understand
you're in charge
307
00:11:59,917 --> 00:12:01,158
of the Hampton DeVille
twitter account.
308
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,779
- Yep.
I get paid to tweet all day.
309
00:12:02,883 --> 00:12:04,055
My job's awesome.
310
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,227
- So then you tweeted
the blown away tweet.
311
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:08,331
- Yeah, it seems like people
are really upset about it,
312
00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,779
but I think it's really clever,
'cause, see, like,
313
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:13,710
people were blown away
by Hurricane Letisha,
314
00:12:13,814 --> 00:12:16,779
and I said,
"blown away by the size."
315
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:17,710
It's a pun.
316
00:12:17,814 --> 00:12:18,745
People just don't get it.
317
00:12:18,848 --> 00:12:20,331
- No, I think everyone got it.
318
00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:21,469
- Speaking of getting it,
319
00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:22,676
you might want to bite down
on that fork,
320
00:12:22,779 --> 00:12:24,262
because what I'm
about to say is gonna hurt.
321
00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:25,434
- Hold on a second.
322
00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,158
Where are you getting
all of that cake from?
323
00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:30,917
- Oh, you guys want to see
something cool?
324
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,158
I don't know
if you're interested,
325
00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:33,848
but I keep track of
all the cakes in the building.
326
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:35,917
Today's a big one: 19 cakes.
327
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,021
We can hit 'em all,
but we gotta move fast.
328
00:12:39,572 --> 00:12:40,710
You guys hungry?
329
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,572
First, we'll hit
Ron's 53rd birthday, floor 67.
330
00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:47,848
Congrats!
Come on in.
331
00:12:47,952 --> 00:12:50,503
This is Jake and Matt.
We're here for some cake.
332
00:12:50,607 --> 00:12:52,262
- Mmm!
333
00:12:52,365 --> 00:12:55,089
- Then Tina's baby shower,
floor 84.
334
00:12:55,193 --> 00:12:57,193
- So who's the father?
Do you know who the father is?
335
00:12:57,296 --> 00:12:58,986
- Then Bill Peterson's
successful
336
00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:01,262
gastric bypass surgery,
floor 11.
337
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,503
- I love your hair.
You look fantastic.
338
00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:09,262
- Oh, my god, this is the best
thing I've ever tasted.
339
00:13:09,365 --> 00:13:10,745
- Just a few more parties,
then we have to fire him.
340
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,607
- Colin, Michael, Jessica, Erin.
341
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,124
- Jessica, Erin, Colleen--
342
00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:18,365
You're not Colleen, obviously.
You're a man.
343
00:13:23,814 --> 00:13:25,986
Happy fucking birthday!
344
00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:27,434
Whoo!
- Richard's great.
345
00:13:27,538 --> 00:13:29,331
This company would be better
if more people were like him.
346
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,952
- He's just filling his void
with sugar.
347
00:13:31,055 --> 00:13:32,434
He clearly
has an eating disorder.
348
00:13:32,538 --> 00:13:33,745
- Let's do shots.
349
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:48,676
- I love you, Richard.
350
00:13:48,779 --> 00:13:49,779
- I love this guy.
351
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:52,883
I know we work
for a big corporation,
352
00:13:52,986 --> 00:13:54,089
but it's not that bad.
353
00:13:54,193 --> 00:13:55,469
The people here are great.
354
00:13:55,572 --> 00:13:56,745
Feels like a family.
355
00:13:56,848 --> 00:13:58,572
And we got health benefits.
- Yeah.
356
00:13:58,676 --> 00:14:00,641
Wait, you get health benefits?
357
00:14:00,745 --> 00:14:02,158
- So where are we
going next?
358
00:14:02,262 --> 00:14:03,710
- Next we're gonna
go to the bathroom,
359
00:14:03,814 --> 00:14:04,986
because I have to
throw up.
360
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:11,952
- God, I feel like garbage.
361
00:14:12,055 --> 00:14:13,986
I can't party the way I used to.
362
00:14:14,089 --> 00:14:16,089
- Matt.
Jake.
363
00:14:16,193 --> 00:14:18,193
The fact that you're sitting
around covered in cake frosting
364
00:14:18,296 --> 00:14:19,434
means you must have
found the person
365
00:14:19,538 --> 00:14:21,641
responsible for that tweet
and fired them.
366
00:14:21,745 --> 00:14:23,124
- So, who was it?
367
00:14:23,227 --> 00:14:25,434
- Well, uh,
we have some great news.
368
00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:27,124
We found the guy
responsible for the tweet,
369
00:14:27,227 --> 00:14:28,779
and he's a great guy.
370
00:14:28,883 --> 00:14:30,055
We totally lectured him about
371
00:14:30,158 --> 00:14:31,641
how it's bad that he did that,
372
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,262
so now he knows
not to do it again.
373
00:14:33,365 --> 00:14:36,745
And anyway, we like him a lot,
and we think he's a total pro.
374
00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:38,917
- Phew!
Let me tell you something.
375
00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:40,469
Best thing about cake,
376
00:14:40,572 --> 00:14:42,676
it tastes just as good
coming back up.
377
00:14:42,779 --> 00:14:45,676
Oh, I should tweet that.
378
00:14:45,779 --> 00:14:47,124
Oh!
Hi, I'm Richard.
379
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:48,710
- Hey, Richard.
We're executives.
380
00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:50,538
- Wow.
More executives.
381
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:51,503
This is cool.
382
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:52,883
- Yes, it is cool.
383
00:14:52,986 --> 00:14:55,952
Question: did you write that
blown away tweet?
384
00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:57,469
- Yeah.
That was me.
385
00:14:57,572 --> 00:14:58,814
- Whoops.
- Okay, great.
386
00:14:58,917 --> 00:14:59,986
You're fired.
387
00:15:00,089 --> 00:15:01,814
Please report to HR
immediately.
388
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:02,917
- What?
389
00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:04,848
- And you two, question.
390
00:15:04,952 --> 00:15:06,296
How could you do this to us?
391
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,331
- We used you as our tools,
392
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:10,262
and this is how you repay us?
393
00:15:10,365 --> 00:15:11,469
- We'll deal with you later.
394
00:15:11,572 --> 00:15:12,607
But in the meantime,
395
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,158
I suggest you start
working on your résumés.
396
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,055
- This is
company property.
397
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,952
- Well, that's it.
We're dead.
398
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:22,952
- So, wait.
399
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:24,193
You guys knew
I was getting fired,
400
00:15:24,296 --> 00:15:25,710
and you used me to get cake?
401
00:15:25,814 --> 00:15:27,296
- No, Richard,
it's not like that.
402
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,296
If it were up to us,
you'd get to keep your job.
403
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,917
- Yeah, but it's not up to you.
404
00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,262
You guys are just tools.
405
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,676
- Exactly.
We're tools.
406
00:15:34,779 --> 00:15:36,296
- So fuck you!
407
00:15:37,641 --> 00:15:39,848
Fuck all of you!
408
00:15:39,952 --> 00:15:42,883
You're all just
corporate drones!
409
00:15:42,986 --> 00:15:45,434
Fuck Hampton DeVille!
410
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:47,469
Fuck the Internet!
411
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,572
And fuck birthdays!
412
00:15:52,538 --> 00:15:54,193
Fuck your meeting!
413
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:57,193
Fuck you, Angela!
414
00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:02,814
- Do you think
Richard's okay?
415
00:16:02,917 --> 00:16:05,848
- How can you think about other
people at a time like this?
416
00:16:15,089 --> 00:16:16,710
Maybe getting fired
is a good thing.
417
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:17,917
I could finally pursue my dream
418
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:19,710
of starting
my own craft brewery.
419
00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:21,158
Or just go to law school.
420
00:16:21,262 --> 00:16:22,400
- Applying to law school
in your late 20s
421
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,296
is a major sign of depression.
422
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,503
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
423
00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:29,296
Working here was my plan B,
and now I'm getting fired,
424
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,055
so I guess it's time for plan C.
425
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,158
- Suicide?
426
00:16:33,262 --> 00:16:34,641
- Yes.
You already knew.
427
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:35,745
That's why we're friends.
428
00:16:35,848 --> 00:16:37,952
- Hey, guys,
did you fire Richard?
429
00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:39,814
'Cause he never
showed up to HR.
430
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,158
- There is an Internet campaign
431
00:16:43,262 --> 00:16:45,021
to boycott
all Hampton DeVille products
432
00:16:45,124 --> 00:16:47,676
unless you apologize
for the tweet.
433
00:16:47,779 --> 00:16:49,021
Will you apologize?
434
00:16:49,124 --> 00:16:52,089
- Look, I refuse to negotiate
with the Internet.
435
00:16:52,193 --> 00:16:54,641
That tweet was the act
of one rogue employee.
436
00:16:54,745 --> 00:16:56,469
And I would like to state
for the record
437
00:16:56,572 --> 00:17:00,055
that I love
hurricane victims,
438
00:17:00,158 --> 00:17:01,503
and anyone
who knows me can verify--
439
00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:03,814
- Excuse me, Christian, I'm
gonna have to interrupt you.
440
00:17:03,917 --> 00:17:05,779
We're getting
a breaking tweet.
441
00:17:07,469 --> 00:17:09,607
A new tweet has been issued
from Hampton DeVille--
442
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,124
- Ugh, Richard's not here.
443
00:17:11,227 --> 00:17:12,503
- "My name is Richard.
444
00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:15,262
"I wrote the blown away tweet,
got fired,
445
00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,365
"and now I'm going to
kill myself
446
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,745
by being blown away
off of a building."
447
00:17:19,848 --> 00:17:21,641
- Oh, my god,
Richard's gonna kill himself.
448
00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:23,262
- He stole my idea.
449
00:17:23,365 --> 00:17:24,607
- Jake, we have to help him.
450
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,227
- Ugh.
Fine.
451
00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:29,710
- Richard, question.
452
00:17:29,814 --> 00:17:32,021
Why are you doing this?
453
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:34,262
- Because I don't have
any friends!
454
00:17:34,365 --> 00:17:37,296
So I go to birthday parties of
people I don't even know
455
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,400
and binge eat to try to fill
456
00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:43,503
the bottomless void
of loneliness inside me.
457
00:17:43,607 --> 00:17:44,883
- Okay!
458
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:45,814
Great.
459
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,365
Thanks.
460
00:17:47,469 --> 00:17:48,607
- Thanks for
agreeing to help us, Baron.
461
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,365
- I'm not doing this for you,
assholes.
462
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,779
I'm doing this for Richard,
463
00:17:51,883 --> 00:17:52,917
because he gives me cake.
464
00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:54,262
So really
I'm doing it for me.
465
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,400
- So here's what I think
you should tweet.
466
00:17:55,503 --> 00:17:56,814
- Stop.
467
00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:59,089
You wouldn't tell Shakespeare
how to write a sonnet,
468
00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,607
and you don't tell
a social media guru
469
00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:03,779
how to get a hashtag trending,
okay?
470
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,779
So step back.
471
00:18:24,676 --> 00:18:26,262
It's beautiful.
472
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:40,365
- It's in the Internet's hands
now.
473
00:18:42,607 --> 00:18:45,124
- Richard, I know
where you're coming from.
474
00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:47,262
I was wait-listed at Yale.
475
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,710
But then I got in.
476
00:18:48,814 --> 00:18:50,641
- We have a plan.
Let us talk to Richard.
477
00:18:50,745 --> 00:18:53,296
- Give us a chance to prove
that we can be your tools.
478
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,814
- That's actually
a really good idea.
479
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:57,331
- When he jumps,
we'll just pin the blame on you.
480
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,262
- Richard, don't do this.
481
00:19:01,365 --> 00:19:03,400
- Yeah, Richard,
don't jump or whatever.
482
00:19:03,503 --> 00:19:04,952
- Just stay back!
483
00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:06,365
I'm gonna kill myself.
484
00:19:06,469 --> 00:19:08,641
- Richard, we all want to
kill ourselves.
485
00:19:08,745 --> 00:19:09,641
- But you can't.
486
00:19:09,745 --> 00:19:11,572
Because the Internet
cares about you.
487
00:19:11,676 --> 00:19:13,296
The top trending hashtag
on twitter right now
488
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,503
is "Save Richard."
489
00:19:15,607 --> 00:19:18,262
- Really?
490
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,055
- It's actually second
under hashtag
491
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:20,986
"You know you're single when."
492
00:19:21,089 --> 00:19:21,952
- Shut up.
493
00:19:22,055 --> 00:19:23,572
Richard,
all across the world,
494
00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:26,331
millions of faceless,
nameless strangers
495
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:29,021
who will forget about you
tomorrow want you to live.
496
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,089
They care about you,
Richard.
497
00:19:31,193 --> 00:19:33,331
Also we brought cake.
498
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:34,572
- What kind of cake?
499
00:19:34,676 --> 00:19:37,227
- Richard,
shut up and come down!
500
00:19:37,331 --> 00:19:38,710
- Okay!
501
00:19:38,814 --> 00:19:40,055
I'm coming down!
502
00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:41,193
- Holy shit.
503
00:19:41,296 --> 00:19:42,641
Someone finally listened to me.
504
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:45,227
- And then I personally
stepped in
505
00:19:45,331 --> 00:19:48,055
and saved one of our most
valued employees, Richard,
506
00:19:48,158 --> 00:19:50,917
who I'm happy to welcome back
to the Hampton DeVille family.
507
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:53,400
And as a gesture of sympathy
for the victims
508
00:19:53,503 --> 00:19:56,434
of Hurricane Letisha,
who we love dearly,
509
00:19:56,538 --> 00:19:58,503
we will be offering
10% off the Obelisk
510
00:19:58,607 --> 00:20:00,400
to anyone who can prove
511
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:03,124
their home was destroyed
in the hurricane.
512
00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:04,296
- Good news.
513
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,089
We just got word
that this controversy
514
00:20:06,193 --> 00:20:07,641
increased brand awareness
515
00:20:07,745 --> 00:20:10,296
and boosted sales
of the Obelisk by 4%.
516
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,917
- Great job, you two.
517
00:20:14,262 --> 00:20:16,365
- Well, Matt, you did it.
You saved Richard.
518
00:20:16,469 --> 00:20:17,503
- I didn't save him.
519
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,124
All I did
was tell Baron to do it.
520
00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:22,055
- Matt, telling Baron to do it
was doing it.
521
00:20:22,158 --> 00:20:23,365
- Oh, my god.
522
00:20:23,469 --> 00:20:25,676
You're right.
523
00:20:25,779 --> 00:20:27,607
We saved Richard.
524
00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:32,227
- Wait about a week
for this to blow over
525
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:33,710
and fire Richard again.
526
00:20:33,814 --> 00:20:37,469
I don't want that cake feaster
working here.
527
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,538
- I'm sorry.
528
00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:46,331
It's my fault we broke up,
not yours.
529
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:48,227
- You're a great guy.
530
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:50,089
- Everyone likes you.
531
00:20:50,193 --> 00:20:52,262
- I made a mistake
by leaving you.
532
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,917
- I'm sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
533
00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:00,193
- Oh, I'm sorry.
534
00:21:10,814 --> 00:21:12,089
- Can you give us a sense of
what the people
535
00:21:12,193 --> 00:21:13,814
in the path of the hurricane
are feeling right now?
536
00:21:13,917 --> 00:21:17,262
- Karen, it is absolute mayhem
down here.
537
00:21:17,365 --> 00:21:20,641
Everyone is really upset about
Hampton DeVille's tweet.
538
00:21:20,745 --> 00:21:23,089
It's all anyone can talk about.
38943
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