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1
00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:04,091
Max, did you pick up the tip
from table two?
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,631
No, but I'm pretty sure
I picked up a staph infection.
3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,301
So they literally gave me
their two cents worth.
4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,507
This is so embarrassing.
5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,136
Even Abe Lincoln won't make eye contact.
6
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,558
Girls, I need you to do something for me.
7
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,726
You know the rule.
8
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,436
Nothing for you, on you, near you,
or in us.
9
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,448
I'm going to restroom.
Keep an eye on the kitchen.
10
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,491
I have a four-minute egg
and a five-minute date with
11
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:34,124
the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
12
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,251
-Hey, do you see what I see?
-A fire?
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,880
No, our way out of this job.
14
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,958
Lord Jesus, there's a fire.
15
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,046
You two gonna do anything about that?
16
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,006
Because I'm not.
17
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,854
I don't mess with fire or Presbyterians.
18
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,560
Fire, fire! I smell fire!
19
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,772
Well, don't just stand there!
Do something!
20
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,810
We are.
21
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,109
S'mores!
22
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,113
You'd think you want this place
to burn to the ground.
23
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,355
You'd think that.
24
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,124
Caroline, do something.
25
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,740
I'm on it. Chocolate?
26
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:21,751
(GROANS)
27
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,961
Han, not too close.
28
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:27,052
You never get the smell of Korean BBQ
out of your clothes.
29
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,925
Either he put the fire out,
30
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,055
or that little robot just had an orgasm.
31
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,146
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
32
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,607
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
33
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,078
Welcome to The High dessert bar.
34
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,578
I'm the hostess slash quasi-manager.
35
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,672
First day in, got a huge promosh.
36
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,708
I hate to brag,
but the word dazzling was used.
37
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,712
Yeah, by you.
38
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,510
Little to no power
has really gone to your head.
39
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,297
It has.
40
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,465
She's like the Putin of pastry.
41
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,521
But doesn't it feel good to not
just be working at the diner?
42
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,400
I haven't slipped
on one used baby diaper all day.
43
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,531
Speaking of babies, look, there's Han.
44
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,660
That's, like, the third time
I caught him spying on us.
45
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:43,122
Why would he stalk
two of his worst employees?
46
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:46,794
I know. It's like Where's Waldo?
when you don't want to find Waldo.
47
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,296
Not seeing a hostess up in here.
48
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,093
She meant quasi-manager.
49
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,344
If Marty Scorsese walks in here,
do you want him to seat himself?
50
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,387
He'll be lost. Lost!
51
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,679
Sorry, Joe. I was just over there
giving Max instr--
52
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,555
Honey, I'll download an audiobook
53
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,943
if I want to hear a story.
54
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,765
I want you to meet someone.
55
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,614
Me too. And I'm sure I will
when the time is right
56
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,072
and I'm open to it.
57
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,029
Kind of focusing on me right now.
58
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,032
Stop.
59
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,120
Learn to read faces.
60
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,407
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about him.
61
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,583
(IRISH ACCENT) Hello, pleasure
to meet you. I'm Nashit.
62
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,415
Nashit's an Indian name,
63
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,551
and isn't that an Irish accent I detect?
64
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,298
Or have I just lost consciousness
from how white your teeth are?
65
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,545
Yes, it is.
66
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,929
My father's Indian. My mother's Irish.
67
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,813
He's Irish. He's Indian.
He's East meets West.
68
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,269
He's everything in a hot Irish
coffee-boy-band package.
69
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,521
I found him on the street,
next to a dirty chair.
70
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,994
Hi, I'm Caroline, the hostess
slash quasi-manager at The High.
71
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,619
Are you high? Because that was
a lot of talking.
72
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,279
Who is this, and where can I get one?
73
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,787
-This is Nashit, our new waiter.
-It's lovely to meet you.
74
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:10,132
Can you say magically delicious?
75
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,417
I really want Nashit to work out.
76
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,764
I like it when good-looking
people succeed.
77
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,052
Well, I guess that's good news for me.
78
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,851
Is it?
79
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,807
Hi, honey. Have you met the new waiter?
80
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:30,024
I love him. He's my favorite.
81
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,820
If I did men,
he would've been done by now.
82
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,985
Oh... So you think you're pretty.
83
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,277
Well, I do too.
84
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,532
Okay, Nashit, pay attention.
85
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,827
These are the tables.
This is the dessert bar.
86
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,501
And these are my boobs.
87
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,504
Max, be professional.
88
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,254
These are my boobs, sir.
89
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,134
Please, I have to make him a waiter.
90
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:02,465
Fine, you make him a waiter,
and I'll just make him later.
91
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,100
Here you go.
92
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,976
This isn't yours, is it?
93
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,234
No, because they already
have dessert.
94
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,984
Damn it.
95
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,818
You asked for water,
like, an hour ago, didn't you?
96
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,201
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't you worry, those lips.
97
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:26,241
And what's an hour when we have
our whole lives ahead of us?
98
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,292
Max, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I stink as a waiter.
99
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,002
This is desperate.
100
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,132
Well, desperate times
call for us making out.
101
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,297
Hey, I have a question for you.
102
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,217
Your skin is so creamy and white.
103
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,890
You must have a little Irish in you.
104
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,852
I've had a lot of Irishes in me.
105
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,234
That's meant to be dirty, right?
106
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,558
Well, I just mean that I think you're
quite beautiful.
107
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:57,114
Oh, well, then I just mean we're doing it.
108
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,493
I did not think there was somebody
who had a prettier nose
109
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,529
or was worse than me waiting tables,
but here we are.
110
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,867
Nashit, there's not a fork
in the mix out there.
111
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,239
Now, get out there and fork those women.
112
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,075
Take it easy on him.
113
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,543
I don't want him to be forked out
114
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,212
by the time he gets to me.
115
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,705
I'm gonna have so much sex
on my bed with Nashit,
116
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,745
that I'm gonna need a new sheet.
117
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,798
-Aren't you too old for him?
-Yeah.
118
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,932
But that test said mentally I'm 14,
so we can totally do it.
119
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:31,312
Well, I'm off to Chinatown
to have someone put needles in me.
120
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,188
Oh, my God. I love your coat.
You look gorgeous.
121
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,439
I mean, the way it flows.
122
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:41,613
Okay, so I can see you're a kiss-ass,
so here's the thing.
123
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,652
As my quasi-manager,
124
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,607
or whatever nonsense
you're telling people,
125
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,655
I need you to tell Max and Nashit
to cool it.
126
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,582
There are no hookups here at The High.
127
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,661
Done, we can stop saying "quasi"
128
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,617
if we're both on board
with the manager thing.
129
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,082
We're not.
130
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,302
The High is about fine pastry,
not someone's sordid love life.
131
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,513
And in an ironic twist,
132
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,719
I need you to kick my girlfriend's hot
ass out of here
133
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,340
if she comes in.
134
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,675
Here's $100.
135
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,682
That's $100. Consider her hot ass
out the door.
136
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,309
We're in a fight.
137
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,984
She got drunk, stole my Black Card,
138
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,112
and bought 90 people soup
at Barney Greengrass,
139
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,019
and the soup isn't even good there.
140
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,450
Do not take this as a no
because I want the money.
141
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,369
But why can't you tell her yourself?
142
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:31,117
I can't tell her myself.
She's younger than me.
143
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,411
And everyone knows
the mommy thing just isn't sexy.
144
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,247
Make sure she eats something
and gets home safe.
145
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,125
Caroline, I have a question for you.
146
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,223
What do I do with the notes
the women give me?
147
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,720
-You've gotten notes?
-Just a few.
148
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,302
(GASPS)
149
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,431
How could women be this desperate?
150
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,062
Max, this one's from you.
151
00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,111
They're mostly all from me,
except the business card.
152
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:03,019
I don't need no damn card
to let him know I'm all business.
153
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,534
Max, Joe just told me there are no hookups
at The High.
154
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,662
And judging from this
very detailed picture you drew,
155
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,200
that's exactly what you're planning.
156
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,453
Oh, I was planning more.
I just ran out of paper.
157
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,826
We can't lose these jobs.
158
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,543
I have two $100 bills,
159
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,212
and I'm close to pulling the trigger
160
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,920
on an Amazon Prime account.
161
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,380
Amazon Prime? You have been driven
mad with power.
162
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,545
Fresh, flakey pastry.
163
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,393
And speaking of flakes,
there's Joe's flakey girlfriend.
164
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,556
Can someone help me get my chair
off my coat?
165
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,599
How did she get in here?
166
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,056
Probably floated in on a cloud of Valium.
167
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,936
It's go time, as in she's got to go.
168
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,445
You have a better chance
moving an actual train wreck,
169
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,778
but good luck.
170
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,619
-Allie, hi, you--
-Oh, shh...
171
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,576
(WHISPERS) Allie, hi. You need--
172
00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,713
Sorry. But I am hung-over,
and I have a headache.
173
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,961
Could I get a latte with a side of weed?
174
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,665
No, because this isn't Amsterdam
or Bill Maher's house.
175
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,338
Now, you need to leave.
You know Joe doesn't want you here.
176
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,304
Well, I'm not leaving.
177
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,764
My legs won't move because
my muscle relaxers just kicked in.
178
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,774
John, can you do me a favor?
Walk Allie outside.
179
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,980
And by that, I mean pick her up
and carry her outside.
180
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,317
I went to pastry school. I'm not Shrek.
181
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,570
Of course not. You're much more Fiona.
182
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,903
(GIGGLES) Girl, that's good.
183
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,489
I was gonna say the donkey
because I have a fine ass.
184
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,289
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay, fine.
185
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,081
Driver, two stops.
186
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,415
Barney's and Fro-Yo.
187
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,471
Earl, we're late again.
Did you keep us alive?
188
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,256
Max, I can barely keep myself alive.
189
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,563
This morning, I had to jump-start my heart
190
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,729
by putting my finger in the socket
Tom and Jerry style.
191
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:07,565
Oh, hello. So what did you girls do today?
192
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,529
I haven't seen you
since right here last night.
193
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,820
Oh, really, Han?
194
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:16,413
Because I swear I saw you lurking around
outside The High.
195
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,370
It was either you,
or Pikachu is visiting New York.
196
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,655
That one barely grazed me
197
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,419
because I'm Korean
and Pikachu is Japanese.
198
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,961
You don't know anything about Pokémon.
199
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,593
Han, you may not be Japanese,
200
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,716
but in the future, you're definitely
gonna be poked by a Mon.
201
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,056
And it was you.
202
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,270
-No, it was not.
-Yeah, it was.
203
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,691
-Wasn't.
-Was.
204
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,649
-Wasn't.
-Was. Wasn't!
205
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,148
English is my second language!
206
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:54,032
Admit it! You're jealous we're spending
time with another restaurant.
207
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,701
I am not jealous.
208
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,910
-Are so.
-Am not.
209
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,200
-Am not.
-Are so. Not!
210
00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,373
Oh, my God!
211
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,785
(SNIFFS)
212
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,910
Caroline, what the hell are you doing?
213
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,828
I'm smelling a $100 bill.
214
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:10,207
It's from my other restaurant.
It buys me nice things.
215
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,714
Jealous?
216
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,007
I took you in when you had no one!
217
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,429
Hi. Can you help me? I'm looking for Max.
218
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,852
Why, hello. Is it too late to be gay?
219
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,638
Nashit?
220
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,022
Oh, my God! He even looks good
here in morgue light.
221
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,689
We are so doing it.
222
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,817
Caroline, you left your phone
on the table at the restaurant.
223
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:41,079
I confess, I used it as an excuse
to come and see Max.
224
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,788
This isn't mine. It's Joe's girlfriend's.
225
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,000
I don't have an iPhone 6.
I have an iPhone sick.
226
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:53,380
D-O-I-N-G it!
227
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,335
Max, why is Nashit here?
228
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,136
Because God owes me.
229
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,809
You can't seriously be into him.
He looks like someone in a boy band.
230
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,892
Yeah, and he's going one direction.
231
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,685
Down there.
232
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,737
But if you sleep with him,
then Nashit is gonna hit the fan.
233
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,412
How do you know you even like him?
234
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,080
You know what I like?
235
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,701
That we're doing it.
236
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,615
Hey, everybody!
237
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,462
I just got hit by a cab.
238
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,673
And, boy, am I in the mood for crab legs.
239
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,630
The thing about you, baby,
240
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:43,506
you bounce back from a good
pounding... every single night.
241
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,850
Wait a minute.
242
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,189
That's my booth.
243
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,774
It's lovely to meet you.
244
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,453
What?
245
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,119
What the hell kind of accent is that?
246
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,160
I'm from Ireland.
247
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,449
What?
248
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,713
Max, you are not doing it.
249
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,169
-Are. Are.
-Not. Not.
250
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,920
-Not.
-Please, I went to Wharton.
251
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,336
Look, we should go to your place
when we do it
252
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,505
so that Caroline won't be there
while we're doing it.
253
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:25,051
Lovely, but I just came to America
two days ago.
254
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,314
I have no place to go.
255
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,975
In fact, I've been sleeping
on that dirty chair Joe spoke of.
256
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,520
What?
257
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,777
Is he singing?
258
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,988
Oh, my God. He's gorgeous and homeless?
259
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,905
-That's your dream guy.
-We are so doing it!
260
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,883
Oh! This is impossible.
261
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,384
I feel like I'm putting
an Oscar dress on Precious.
262
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,720
I'm making up the couch for Nashit.
263
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,006
That is so nice of you.
264
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,179
He's gonna need a place to crash
after we have sex.
265
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,558
No, that's off the table.
266
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,484
I can't believe you invited him
to stay here.
267
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:20,113
And I can't believe you refused to sleep
at Starbucks tonight to give us privacy.
268
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,275
I mean, you like Nora Jones.
269
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,990
(WHISTLES)
270
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,331
Max likey.
271
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,001
-Max, listen.
-No, you listen.
272
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,094
I can't afford candy,
so he has got to be it.
273
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,219
Thanks for the shower.
274
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,216
Oh, no, his muscles point to his penis.
275
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,604
(KNOCKING)
276
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,977
CAROLINE: Max, stop with the banging.
277
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,308
I'm not letting you out
while you're still in heat.
278
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,980
MAX: It's not me.
279
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,735
I'm making a list of ways to kill you!
280
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:10,121
I feel like I'm being a bother,
and I think I'm sleeping on a bong.
281
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,911
(KNOCKING)
282
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,455
Open up. I know what's going on in there.
283
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,383
My God. That's Joe.
284
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,748
She must've found out
about you and Max hooking up.
285
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,546
-Oh, no.
-Max, Joe is here.
286
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,590
You need to do that thing you do
to scare people out of the hallway.
287
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,134
What do we think, guard dog
288
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,887
or little old lady with poor eyesight
and loaded gun?
289
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,063
(MAX BARKING)
290
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,015
Fine, I'm going. This is why I never
leave Manhattan.
291
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,441
Hey, you need to get
in the girls' apartment?
292
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,860
I have a key.
293
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:44,113
Find it here in my big bag.
I know it's in here somewhere.
294
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:47,783
Well, I got the lip balm. I got...
295
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,284
Look, I got the Holy Bible.
296
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,486
I got...
297
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,961
Look, the DirecTV remote.
298
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,126
My God, I'm losing estrogen.
299
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,919
Max, you and Nashit go hide in your room.
300
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,253
But no sex.
301
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,672
You heard her, no sex. So everything but.
302
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,378
And I mean everything, and I mean but.
303
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,011
Here it is. It's right...
304
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,636
It was right under the cold cuts
the whole time.
305
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,182
(KEY JINGLES IN DOOR)
306
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,229
-JOE: Caroline.
-Hey. Hi, Joe.
307
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,185
Oh...
308
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,898
Yeah!
309
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,579
Yeah, the shorter hair makes sense now.
310
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:35,866
Yeah.
311
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,408
Good for you, Caroline.
312
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,499
I hope you like long, boring stories.
313
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,131
Okay, where's Allie? I know she's here.
314
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,625
I put a spy app on her phone.
315
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,177
And I'm not proud of it,
but I'm a jealous woman.
316
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,309
Oh, her phone. I have it.
317
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,680
She left it at The High
when I threw her ass out today
318
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,978
per your instructions.
319
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,649
I don't know how I thought this thing
was gonna work out to begin with.
320
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,231
We met at Coachella.
321
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:09,696
We were both on Molly,
this intensely hot Filipino girl.
322
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,663
(MAX AND NASHIT GIGGLE)
323
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,241
I'm hearing sexual sounds.
324
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,616
And hints of secret shame
coming from the bedroom.
325
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,460
Allie is here.
326
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,543
No, no one's here. That's just our white
noise machine.
327
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,916
I'm shocked. You're not even her type.
328
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,255
Your lips are like two flair-pen marks.
329
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,387
That's hot.
330
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,272
Please don't fire Nashit!
331
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,613
The Dr. Seuss hats were my idea.
332
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,980
We were playing Hop on Pop.
333
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,896
I was Pop.
334
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,913
I didn't even know
there was a boy in there.
335
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,159
I only saw you.
336
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,905
Okay, since there are no hookups
at The High...
337
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,289
if you don't stop sleeping with him
immediately...
338
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,629
my new manager... (CLICKS TEETH)
339
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:08,381
Caroline here is going to have to
kick his beautiful butt to the curb.
340
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,335
But I was mid-doing-it!
341
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,384
(EXHALES)
342
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,928
Honey, there's a real funky smell here.
343
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,680
I got to get out of here.
344
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,232
PS, this is where you live?
345
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562
Take another $100.
346
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,992
Earl, hi. What kind of mood is Max in?
347
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,572
Pretty good.
348
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,236
On the Max scale,
she's below slightly drunk.
349
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,406
But above, punching a customer out.
350
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,791
Good. I was worried she'd be mad at me
351
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,003
because I had to get rid of her boy toy.
352
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,375
Caroline, I'd put my hearing aids back in
if I wanted to hear a story.
353
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,339
Guess what I have for you in my purse?
354
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,344
The tampon I asked for last week?
355
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,009
No, and again, so sorry about that.
Really dropped that ball.
356
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,636
Gummy worms!
357
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,977
Yes, I took away your man candy,
but I got you these.
358
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,521
The hot ones that you like
359
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,935
from the good candy store
with the sneeze guards.
360
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,983
(GASPS) Fancy!
361
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,902
And don't worry about Nashit.
I got him another job.
362
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,616
Hot worm!
363
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,240
Clean glasses coming through.
364
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,870
Nice rack.
365
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,833
Now I know why guys
like saying that to me.
366
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,420
There he is! There's the new employee.
367
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,962
Han, I can't believe you'd hire someone
just because Max asked you to.
368
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,969
This has nothing to do with Max or you.
369
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,220
The boy here said something
to me that you two couldn't understand.
370
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,715
What's that, sir?
That I was a hard worker?
371
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,927
That's it! Yes! Manna from heaven!
372
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:49,769
I actually have an employee who works!
Jealous?
373
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,362
Now, this job, I can do.
374
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,572
You know, growing up,
I had five brothers and sisters.
375
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,913
And since I was the least attractive,
I had to clean all the dishes.
376
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,040
-Meet you in the dish room, Nashit.
-Max, what are you doing?
377
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:05,248
There may not be hookups at The High,
378
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,869
but there are hookups here
at our lowest low.
379
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,788
And we are doing it.
380
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,706
Caroline likey.
381
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,514
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
382
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,064
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
383
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,946
(English US - SDH)
384
00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:49,546
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