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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:07,054
Oh, my God, we have customers?
What's going on?
2
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:10,006
Why are there hipsters here?
Are we selling stupid hats...
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:13,386
...and telling them they're more talented
than they actually are?
4
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:17,308
No, that's already a store.
It's called Fedorable.
5
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,812
You've been working so hard
to get us customers in...
6
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:24,820
...I wanted to contribute by finding a way
to get in the neighborhood hipsters.
7
00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:26,574
So here's our new flyer.
8
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:29,486
You made up a new flyer
without talking to me about it?
9
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:32,525
I renamed all the cupcakes
after people from the '90s.
10
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:36,826
"Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
We've got all your Flavor Flavs."
11
00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:38,656
Hipsters love '90s nostalgia...
12
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,461
...more than they love pretending
not to love anything.
13
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,835
"Come in and lick a Beavis.
14
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,923
Eat a Butthead."
15
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,303
The Pistachio
is now called the Dennis Rodman...
16
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,718
...because it's such a dumbass flavor.
17
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:57,017
Cute. Wait, what's going on over there?
Why are all those cupcakes smashed?
18
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,482
Those are the Nancy Kerrigans.
19
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:03,101
I don't know if it's in good taste
to make fun of her tragedy.
20
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,611
-I sold eight of them.
-Screw her. You're a genius. Heh.
21
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,315
Ooh, ooh. Can I name one?
22
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:12,156
How about we call the day-olds
the Hugh Hefners?
23
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,325
That's not '90s.
24
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,502
He's in his 90s and he's stale and hard.
25
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,391
Can I get a Jonathan Taylor Thomas
to go and two of the Spice Girls?
26
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,562
Any one but Baby.
27
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,680
-Sure.
-Dude, you should come...
28
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,899
...to the '90s trivia contest
every Monday at the Bar Bar.
29
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,441
You could win, like, big money.
30
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,975
And then I could pay
for the lobotomy I'd need...
31
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,440
...to forget that I ever participated
in a hipster contest in a bar.
32
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,741
(CAROLINE CHUCKLING)
33
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,445
Cute hat. You're very talented.
34
00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,245
I'm putting this flyer
up in the window.
35
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,629
Oh. Look, there's a street performer
trying to get people to dance...
36
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,462
-...with his marionette outside our shop.
-Uh-oh.
37
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,708
Not cool. No hipster wants to crump
with a puppet.
38
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,128
See, he just chased them away.
39
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,470
We'll ask him to move
but we have to be nice.
40
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,967
Nice? Nice. Oh, yeah, that's the thing
you are to the welfare lady...
41
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,979
...while your mom's
in the bedroom hiding the new TV.
42
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,863
(ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
43
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,398
Hi, how are you?
We own this cupcake--
44
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:35,318
Shh. Not while he's dancing.
45
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,120
Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you like me to wait?
46
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,457
Oh, this dude's a serial killer.
47
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,913
Oh. Uh....
48
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,998
Do you want me to...?
49
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,260
Yup. Total serial killer.
50
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:38,383
It's just a matter of time till we're hung
on strings in his basement.
51
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,270
And I probably just got puppet herpes.
52
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,475
(MUSIC STOPS)
53
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:51,444
Well, I hope you enjoyed your kiss
with charming Pierre.
54
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,686
Now, if you wouldn't mind.
55
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,660
Oh, Pierre's a prostitute?
56
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:05,872
It's weird for him to do it in the open,
but if he can't afford a car, he can't.
57
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:11,003
Oh, you're one of those.
A woman without wonder.
58
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:16,008
Not true. In fact, I'm wondering
how you manage to pay rent.
59
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:20,133
Okay, could you two just move along?
I have another show in five minutes.
60
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:24,102
That was a show?
Look, you can't do your little skits here.
61
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,314
Heh. She doesn't mean to be negative.
62
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:30,555
She's right. I was planning to be all
positive till your doll raped her leg.
63
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:35,231
Pierre is not a doll, okay?
He's a marionette.
64
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:38,651
Hand-carved by me.
And I don't do skits.
65
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:42,951
Okay? I received a National Endowment
for my work.
66
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:45,657
What? The government pays
for stuff like this...
67
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:49,077
-...and I can't get my back tooth fixed?
-Heh.
68
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,537
Well, I, for one, really appreciate
the art of puppetry.
69
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:57,299
-I can tell you do. And so can Pierre.
-Oh....
70
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,633
You know he doesn't just approach
anybody.
71
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,550
I'm Caroline. This is Max.
And you are?
72
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,851
My stage name is J. Petto. Heh-heh.
73
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:11,346
Oh, so cute.
Geppetto, like Pinocchio's father.
74
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,439
No, it's J-period-Petto.
75
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,284
Disney owns the rights
to the name Geppetto...
76
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,612
...so once again the poor starving artist
gets screwed.
77
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:26,035
So sad. Can you move?
78
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,621
See, this is our cupcake shop
and you're blocking the entrance.
79
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,708
Uh, this is a public space
and I know my rights.
80
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,714
Showtime.
81
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,295
(HUMMING)
82
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,758
I was trying to be nice, but you are
the rudest puppeteer I've ever met.
83
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,257
I'm including Shari Lewis...
84
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:49,478
...who told my father to shove it
on my fifth birthday. Let's go, Max.
85
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,728
Hey, doll man.
86
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,516
You don't wanna mess with us.
87
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,489
I make one call to the cops,
they do a background check...
88
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:04,031
...and I'm pretty sure you'd go
from J. Petto to J. Petto-phile.
89
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,156
Miss, I dropped my David Hasselhoff.
90
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,157
Well, it's not the first time
he's been on the floor.
91
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,631
Hey, you can't talk to me like that.
92
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,801
I studied puppetry in Paris
at the Palais-- Aah!
93
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,841
(CAROLINE & MAX GASPING)
94
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,628
Oh, my God.
He slipped on David Hasselhoff.
95
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,680
-Are you okay?
-Yeah. God, I'm fine, I'm fine.
96
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:28,305
I'm just a little embarrassed.
97
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:33,274
Oh, no. No. I landed on Pierre.
98
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,475
Pierre!
99
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,111
Here, have a seat.
100
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:40,151
Would either of you like a coffee
or a free cupcake?
101
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,027
No, I'm just gonna pack up and go.
Thank you.
102
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:48,116
-Come back any time for a free cupcake.
-But no need to bring your dolls.
103
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:52,746
They're not dolls. I'm a man!
104
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,259
It's crazy how many hipsters came
into our shop today from our new flyers.
105
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,222
We ran completely out
of all the Butterfinger Buttafuocos...
106
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,474
...the Joeys and even the Mary Jo's,
which I did not think would sell.
107
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:15,305
I reworked the smashed Nancy Kerrigans
and called it the Mary Jo.
108
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:19,186
Oh, girls, I'm so happy for you.
109
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:23,235
You know, I remember when
my business first started to take off.
110
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,531
The first thing I did was to buy
the little village that I grew up in...
111
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,737
...and then burn it to the ground.
112
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:36,576
I was just so angry
they wouldn't let me be a cheerleader.
113
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:41,747
No, baby, that was the movie Carrie.
You fell asleep watching it last night.
114
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,296
Oh.
115
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,223
Yeah, I gotta stop watching movies
late at night.
116
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:50,722
Once, for a whole year,
I thought I framed Roger Rabbit.
117
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,807
(BELL DINGS)
118
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,734
I'm looking for the owners
of Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
119
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,106
Oh. That's me.
Wow, word is really spreading.
120
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,784
-How can I help you?
-You've been served.
121
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,404
Max, I just got served.
122
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,911
Did he go after your bangs?
Because that's where I'd start.
123
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:15,164
This is a lawsuit. It says, "Max's
Homemade Cupcakes is being sued...
124
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:19,959
...for injuries sustained in our shop
by Myron Shales a.k.a. J. Petto."
125
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,335
-Max, it's that puppet guy.
-He's suing us?
126
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,842
We should be suing him for gross....
127
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,625
I don't know what the legal words are,
but just for being gross.
128
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,390
Can't afford to be sued.
We can't afford the lawyer...
129
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:36,523
...on those bus ads who has a gavel
in one hand and a chicken in the other.
130
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:41,725
I hope everything was satisfactory.
Can I get you ladies anything else?
131
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,317
Like a strong work ethic.
132
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,992
Han, it's not funny. We're being sued.
133
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,702
Okay. Let me see those.
134
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,201
I studied law in Korea,
but I never made it through graduation.
135
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,695
I realized it wasn't my passion
and I pulled out.
136
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,793
Did they know it was in?
137
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,210
Let's see. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
138
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,509
Yeah, you're being sued.
139
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:11,683
What law school did you go to?
Cal State The Obvious?
140
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,102
Did you graduate magna come rarely?
141
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,847
I told you, I pulled out.
142
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:24,556
But don't worry, accidents
like this happen in stores all the time.
143
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,980
That's why all businesses
have insurance.
144
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,902
Well, not all businesses.
145
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,451
How could you not have insurance?
146
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:38,245
You need to get protection
and I'm not talking about condoms.
147
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,458
We're not idiots, Han.
148
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:43,421
We had the discussion.
I was like, "We need insurance."
149
00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,382
She was like, "We have money?" "No."
150
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,713
She was like,
"Chances something will happen?"
151
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,669
"A million to one."
She was like, "Let's get gummy bears."
152
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,471
I was like, "Okay.
We'll talk about this another time."
153
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,854
And here we are talking about it now.
154
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:02,729
Remember, we have no choice.
We have to get him to drop this lawsuit.
155
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,814
Okay, 3B.
Here, this is the puppet guy's apartment.
156
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,520
You say puppet guy, I say serial killer.
157
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:12,362
You say apartment, I say the brightest
dot on the Megan's Law website.
158
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,988
Max, that is not charming.
159
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,325
Stay on message.
We're charming, we're sorry--
160
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:21,500
We're drunk. Well, I am. How else do you
think I'm going to pull off charming?
161
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:26,133
Let's get in and out. That puppet creeped
me out. I don't wanna see it again.
162
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,800
Oh, I am not drunk enough for this.
163
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,216
I've never been drunk enough for this.
164
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,005
Is J. Petto home?
165
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,437
I'm kind of surprised.
I did not think he'd have a girlfriend.
166
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,654
Hello. Well, I hope you enjoyed
meeting Yvette.
167
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,782
She plays the lute, you know?
168
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,041
-Oh, yes, she was very charming.
-And small.
169
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,333
She must make your penis look huge.
170
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,714
I'm sorry?
171
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,455
Charming, Max. Charming.
172
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,919
-Hi, we stopped by to bring cupcakes.
-Hi.
173
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,550
We feel so bad about what happened.
Can we come in for a minute?
174
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:21,514
Um.... Well, I wasn't expecting company,
but come in.
175
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,181
We're all just hanging out.
176
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,352
CAROLINE.
Oh. Oh.
177
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,609
This isn't weird. This isn't weird at all.
178
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,652
It's like we're in a dead body car wash.
179
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,649
I had a nightmare
that I had a nightmare like this once.
180
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:41,527
Just so you know, I'm not allowed
to talk about the lawsuit.
181
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,501
Well, I'm not allowed to talk
about how I really feel right now.
182
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:49,253
Ha. Speaking of the lawsuit, you seem well,
you know, physically.
183
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:53,418
Which is great because the suit said you
had a shattered arm and a broken hip.
184
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:58,679
Oh. Yeah, I'm not suing you
for my shattered arm and hip. It's....
185
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,974
It's for Pierre's.
186
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:10,524
I crushed his little body when I fell.
187
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:14,818
He must have thrown himself
under my body to protect my fall.
188
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,818
-Dexter, party of one.
-Shh.
189
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,698
I have to rotate his arm...
190
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,198
...and hold it every 15 minutes
to get his full range of motion back.
191
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:30,330
That's what the sling's about.
I know he's not alive.
192
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,460
-Do you?
-Heh.
193
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,972
We're very sorry for his injury,
but this is absurd.
194
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,183
You can't sue us
because your puppet broke.
195
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:44,762
Yes, I can. This puppet is my livelihood
and he's heavily insured.
196
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,771
Great, the puppet has insurance
and we don't.
197
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:50,353
-Max.
-What? You don't have insurance?
198
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,769
You have a business,
but no insurance?
199
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,398
Look, we can't go to court.
It would wreck us.
200
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,857
Can we leave the lawyers out
and come up with a creative solution?
201
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:04,159
I mean, you're clearly creative.
Look, you even made a skeleton king.
202
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:08,786
That's not a skeleton king.
That's Pazuzu, Prince of Darkness.
203
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,461
Let me just put this out there...
204
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:15,335
...because we should really move things
along and also, I'm afraid.
205
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,014
How much is it gonna take
to make this go away?
206
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,553
You wanna take a second
to consult your roommates?
207
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,046
I think I saw a lawyer doll.
208
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:29,270
He is not a lawyer. He is a maître d'.
And a damn good one.
209
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,230
You women just don't get it.
210
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:37,074
This is why I broke up with my
Toronto-based girlfriend over Skype.
211
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,992
Right?
212
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:44,065
Thousand dollars by Monday.
But if she makes another comment...
213
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,410
...about my intricate hand-carved
marionettes being dolls...
214
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,577
(WHISTLES)
215
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,785
...it goes up.
216
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,540
Fine. A thousand dollars.
And no strings.
217
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,960
-Except for the ones on all--
-Max, don't say it. Heh.
218
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,471
Valley of the Dolls ,
Chucky, Bride of Chucky...
219
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,256
...Hello, Dolly!, Dollywood
and the Dolly Lama. Oh....
220
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,690
Those are the things I was holding in.
Oh, wait.
221
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,694
Doll and Oates.
222
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:23,275
Now what? How are we gonna get
a thousand extra dollars by Monday?
223
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,696
Wait, Max, we can go to that bar
and exploit your special gifts.
224
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,575
If I have to strip, I have to strip.
225
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:33,407
Not that kind of bar.
The hipster trivia bar.
226
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,961
Can't I just strip?
At least I'd still have my dignity.
227
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:45,718
It's all here. A thousand dollars.
So that's it. No more lawsuit.
228
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:49,434
Actually, that's not it. As it turns out,
we're gonna need 500 more. Heh.
229
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,517
For what? Did your dues
for the serial killers' union...
230
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,023
...and the pedophile guild come up
at the same time this year?
231
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,977
Pierre is in crisis.
232
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:03,029
But his psychiatrist
could tell you more about that.
233
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:06,163
If there's a psychiatrist
who hasn't locked him up...
234
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,162
...I don't trust his opinion.
235
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:13,081
(IN DEEP VOICE)
I'm Dr. Pangloss.
236
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,455
Pierre broke more than his hip
in your cupcake shop.
237
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,665
He broke his spirit.
238
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,424
He lost his dream.
239
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,548
He no longer wants to perform.
240
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:35,429
This is where he cuts us in half
and sews my top to your bottom.
241
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,061
On the plus side, we'll look amazing.
242
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,689
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Yeah, well, you heard it.
243
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:44,235
Pierre is ready to give up his art
and he needs a little more money.
244
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,822
Forget it, puppet nuts.
We don't have 500 dollars.
245
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,818
We don't have 500 anything.
246
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,160
Well, think about it.
247
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,365
(KETTLE WHISTLING)
248
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,043
That's my tea kettle. Yvette?
249
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,373
Ugh. I'll do it.
250
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,713
I'm not so sure the hostility
is quite working...
251
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,205
...so you wait in the hall
and I'll try to talk some sense into him.
252
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,249
You are the only person in the world...
253
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,342
...who would insist on being alone
with this man, but okay.
254
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,971
Please, just listen. We are broke.
255
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,056
To get more money,
we'd have to strip.
256
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,352
Well, Gigi and Lana
started off as strippers...
257
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:20,978
...and now they're in the Folies Bergère.
So....
258
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,397
You know, even for a middle-aged
puppeteer, you're a freak.
259
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,700
See you in court!
260
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,663
Nothing. He's gonna sue us and we have
no other tricks up our sleeve.
261
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:36,616
Well, maybe not my sleeve,
but how about my coat?
262
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,788
-Pierre?
-Right there.
263
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,759
I'm sorry, we're not open today.
264
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,057
I know you took him.
Give me back Pierre.
265
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,557
We're not open.
We've had a terrible tragedy.
266
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:02,186
Well, not us but a new friend of ours
had a gruesome accident...
267
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,475
...and we are just devastated.
268
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,028
You wouldn't be that cruel.
269
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,322
Relax. I could never be that cruel.
But Max could.
270
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,905
Well, well, well.
271
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:20,213
Look who it is, Pierre.
Your lover, J. Petto.
272
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,253
He's not gay.
273
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,551
He had a girlfriend named Lulu.
274
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,261
She was a courtesan
in the court of a French king.
275
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:32,303
They broke up over a brief flirtation
she had with Yvette.
276
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,846
And I know they're not alive!
277
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:39,853
Now, what do you say we stick
to the original no-strings deal?
278
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:44,478
Because if you don't, Max will show you
what no strings really means.
279
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,146
Do it. Go. Bring it.
280
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:51,487
I can always restring him.
I'm a master of my craft.
281
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:56,033
Yes, we thought you'd say that.
So you leave us no choice. Max.
282
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,541
PETTO:
What?
283
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:03,417
I'm not changing my mind.
And I'm coming back with the police.
284
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,245
Oh, I wouldn't get the cops involved.
285
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:13,010
Now that your boy here
is in a compromising situation.
286
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,548
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
287
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,568
How dare you!
288
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,986
And she does not like the feel
of a condom!
289
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:42,785
-You two are sick!
-Hey. We don't judge.
290
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:49,205
We think whatever two consenting dolls
or maybe three consenting dolls do....
291
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:53,586
And it's gonna be bad
because he's a grower, not a shower.
292
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:02,853
And once a few of these pics
are posted online...
293
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,767
...there goes
your children's party business.
294
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,316
Now, call it quits
and you can delete these pics.
295
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,031
Fine. Yes. Okay, you win.
You win. You win.
296
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,862
Oh, we're not falling
for your word again.
297
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:20,738
-If you want your doll back--
-For the last time, he is not a doll!
298
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:24,410
Bring us a notarized letter saying you
release Max's Homemade Cupcakes...
299
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,250
...of all further legal action. We'll give
you back Pierre perfectly intact.
300
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,957
Minus his virginity, of course.
301
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:35,471
But don't worry, you'll still have yours.
302
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:39,597
Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can. Ugh.
303
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,601
Thirty years in the cutthroat world
of puppets...
304
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:47,185
...and I'm undone
by two crazy cupcake bitches.
305
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,857
Did you hear that? Thirty years.
306
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:58,278
Thirty years of following his dream
and he's still broke?
307
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:02,038
Is that gonna be us, Max?
Is our dream just as stupid as puppets?
308
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,331
Sorry, Pierre, I forgot you were here.
309
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:08,084
He's sound asleep.
Three-ways really take it out of you.
310
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:12,455
Here, dress her. She has to get a cab.
She'd rather sleep in her own bed.
311
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,799
And do you know
why we're not gonna turn into him?
312
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,387
Because 30 years ago, when J. Petto
said, "I'm gonna be a puppeteer"...
313
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,434
...he didn't have a friend to tell him:
314
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,807
"You shouldn't do that.
It's a stupid idea."
315
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,854
Unlike him, you have me
to tell you when it's a stupid idea.
316
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,109
I have you to tell me
not to Mace myself...
317
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,781
...no matter how bad I wanna know
how it feels.
318
00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:36,647
So the cupcake shop
isn't a stupid idea?
319
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,988
No, and it's actually starting
to take off.
320
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,784
Because no one embraces a stupid idea
like a hipster.
321
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,286
But, Max, we do need insurance.
322
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,411
-But do we have the money?
-No.
323
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:49,208
-Chances someone else is gonna fall?
-A million to one.
324
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,584
I like those odds.
325
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:56,880
-You know, this is a really cute dress.
-Forget the dress. Look at his cute pants.
326
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,678
We really should give them to Han.
327
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,037
English - US - SDH
328
00:21:30,087 --> 00:21:34,637
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