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1
00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:06,150
So Fez thought he was
on a date with Suzy,
2
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:08,630
and he shot a rabbit
to impress her.
3
00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,910
Doesn't he know he could
have just bought her flowers?
4
00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:13,870
Oh, I would die if
you got me flowers.
5
00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:16,110
You'd be lucky to
get a dead rabbit.
6
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:20,230
Suzy, why would Fez think
you'd like a dead rabbit?
7
00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:23,390
Are you from the
south or something?
8
00:00:23,470 --> 00:00:25,750
No. I think he did
it because he knows
9
00:00:25,830 --> 00:00:28,230
that as a cop, I
like to spill blood.
10
00:00:28,310 --> 00:00:31,670
But I want to hurt
people, not animals.
11
00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:33,430
You know what? This is my fault.
12
00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,150
I never should have told Fez you
liked him when you liked me.
13
00:00:36,190 --> 00:00:37,270
If only there was something
14
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:38,910
I could do to make
him feel better.
15
00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:40,270
I have an idea.
16
00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:42,990
Oh, good. Kelso's gonna
make it worse now.
17
00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:45,430
No, look. Just let Fez
take you to dinner,
18
00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:48,310
and then for dessert,
do it with him.
19
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,150
No way.
20
00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:53,630
Okay, if you do me this
favor, I'll buy you a new gun.
21
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,630
That would make her a hooker.
22
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:59,830
No. Hookers do it for money.
This would be for a gun.
23
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:01,550
Hey, I have standards.
24
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,550
I mean, if it's
sleeping with a suspect
25
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,750
to extract some information, fine,
26
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,830
or posing as a
prostitute for a quickie
27
00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:11,510
in the back of a car to
snare some John, sure.
28
00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:14,870
But jeez, Michael, what kind
of girl do you think I am?
29
00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:18,830
Hello, Suzy.
30
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,030
I'd love to stand
here and stare at you
31
00:01:21,110 --> 00:01:22,710
until you get uncomfortable...
32
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,870
But I have a relationship to end.
33
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:30,310
Kelso, here's everything
you ever gave me.
34
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,070
I don't want it anymore.
35
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:34,710
Look, Fez, you don't
have to do this.
36
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:37,350
Yeah. Fez, when you
split up with someone,
37
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,790
you don't have to give stuff back.
38
00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,190
You wait until they
leave the house,
39
00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:42,590
take everything they care
about and break the rest.
40
00:01:43,630 --> 00:01:47,350
That way, they have nothing.
41
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:49,910
Lucky for me I
already have nothing.
42
00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:52,470
Oh, you can have less.
43
00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:57,030
The point is that I don't
want anything you gave me.
44
00:01:57,110 --> 00:01:59,830
I never gave you my yo-yo.
45
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,910
So I took it,
46
00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:05,910
and I tangled the string, too.
47
00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:09,310
Let's see you walk the dog
now, you son of a bitch.
48
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:19,670
Are those new birth-control pills?
49
00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:26,550
Let the doing it... commence.
50
00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:29,030
Do you have to do that every time?
51
00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:32,710
Donna, if I had the money, I'd
take out an ad in the paper.
52
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:36,110
Oh, no.
53
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,550
No, no, no, no, no, no.
54
00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:40,470
Never say, "oh, no"
55
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:42,630
when you're talking about
birth-control pills.
56
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:44,390
Anything's better than "oh, no."
57
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,390
I forgot to take one.
58
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,190
Except that. Oh, God. Oh, God.
59
00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:50,870
Oh, my God. One minute my
life's all light and breezy,
60
00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:54,230
and the next, I'm shackled
to you and some kid.
61
00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:57,230
Oh, my God.
62
00:02:57,390 --> 00:02:59,350
Oh, my God, my heart
is pounding so hard...
63
00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:00,790
Like in the cartoons,
64
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:01,990
when Daisy duck sees Donald duck,
65
00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:03,910
and her heart goes, "ba-bo!
Ba-boom!"
66
00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:06,110
But that was a happy
thing, and this is 'cause
67
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:08,190
you couldn't keep your
dirty hands off me!
68
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,590
Okay, come on, let's think.
69
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,390
Hey, there's only a
couple times a month
70
00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:13,270
something like this
can happen, right?
71
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,750
Maybe there's some kind
of time-related loophole.
72
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:16,710
Hey, did we spring
forward or fall back?
73
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,510
When we did it? I don't know.
74
00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:22,550
I don't know what you'd call it,
but it's the same every time.
75
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,670
Well, I can't be that bad, Donna.
I got you pregnant!
76
00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:59,470
Hello, Wisconsin!
77
00:04:06,350 --> 00:04:10,310
Eric, I can't believe you
knocked up a girl, too.
78
00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:12,310
I mean, you lose
points for not doing it
79
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:15,150
in a public place,
but hey, gimme five.
80
00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,470
Kelso, I don't really think
81
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:18,430
this is a gimme five moment, okay?
82
00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:20,310
I am really freaked out.
83
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:24,470
Well, right now I'm not so
much freaked out as starving.
84
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,110
I'm fascinated by your nose.
85
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:30,510
Yeah, it's perfect.
86
00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:33,910
You'd be amazed at what
I could fit up in there.
87
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,590
But the important thing is
88
00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:37,230
that you have
responsibilities now,
89
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:39,550
so you gotta step up like I did.
90
00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:42,510
Look, if you mean you
stepped up on a urinal
91
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,190
to climb out of a window
92
00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,150
to get away from the
girl you got pregnant,
93
00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:48,790
then yeah, you stepped up.
94
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,670
Still no Fez, huh?
95
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,990
Wow, kelso, you really
must have pissed him off.
96
00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,350
He hasn't stayed away this long
97
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:55,990
since he discovered bubble baths.
98
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:58,270
Yeah. Fez still
isn't talking to me,
99
00:04:58,350 --> 00:05:01,030
but I think he's calling,
'cause every once in awhile,
100
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,230
I pick up the phone, and
all I hear is breathing
101
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:06,230
and the crinkle of a
candy being unwrapped.
102
00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:08,110
Man, we are sitting in the circle
103
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:09,910
talking about relationships.
104
00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,910
What happened to us?
105
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:15,470
This stash must be
from California.
106
00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:22,910
Oh, hey, Donna. Any news?
107
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,550
Come on, that time of the month!
108
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:28,630
No. Nothing yet. Oh, God.
I'm gonna throw up.
109
00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:31,830
I told you we should
have gone to Denny's.
110
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,670
Oh, yeah, Donna, let's not talk
111
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,990
about throwing up in
front of the customers.
112
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:40,990
Ma'am, here's your creamed corn.
113
00:05:41,070 --> 00:05:42,950
I got no interest in
getting a lady pregnant.
114
00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:44,350
That's why I'm celibate.
115
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:48,110
I thought it was because no
one would do it with you.
116
00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:50,990
Hey, that's, like,
a secondary reason.
117
00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:54,510
Look, Donna, we're gonna
figure this out, okay?
118
00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:56,630
Hey, you know what?
We can ask my mom.
119
00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:58,550
She's a nurse.
She loves this stuff.
120
00:05:58,590 --> 00:06:01,750
At least once a week, she
gives a talk about her uterus.
121
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:04,470
Eric, I don't want
your mom to know.
122
00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:06,150
Donna's right. There's no reason
123
00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:08,230
to let too many
people know just yet.
124
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:10,590
Who have you told so far?
125
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,870
Well, just my friends
and this nice couple.
126
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:18,510
Okay, look, so I'll just tell
you what my mom says, okay?
127
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:20,430
Okay. Just make sure
she doesn't know
128
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:21,870
you're talking about us.
129
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:24,950
Tell her you have a
friend, a Canadian friend,
130
00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:27,390
who lives in an igloo,
so she can't call her.
131
00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:31,870
Donna, I think I know
how to be subtle.
132
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:35,430
Mommy, mommy!
Donna might be pregnant!
133
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:40,030
Did she trap you?
We'll move you away.
134
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,870
We won't play her game.
135
00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:44,150
No. No, it's nothing like that.
136
00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:46,190
It's just...
I had to tell someone.
137
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:48,790
Hey, promise me you won't
say anything to dad.
138
00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:51,110
Fine. I promise.
Oh, this is all my fault.
139
00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,310
I should never have been
intimate with your father
140
00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:55,710
while you were in the
crib next to the bed.
141
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,150
Hey, Fez.
142
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:08,070
Well, I don't think
he wants to make up.
143
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:09,590
Well, try anyway.
144
00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:13,910
I got your back...
Your strong, muscular back.
145
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:19,550
Uh, Fez, look, I
got you some candy
146
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:23,030
and a "Playboy"
147
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,790
and a six-pack.
148
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:29,270
So you can use 'em in
whatever order you want.
149
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:32,390
Tell him what they're for.
150
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:34,310
In a tense standoff, you
need to make the perp
151
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:36,110
think you're on his side,
152
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,590
even if you're about to
put a bullet in his head.
153
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:41,270
Don't worry. We're not.
154
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,190
Uh...
155
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,790
They're a peace offering.
156
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:47,710
Well, look at the American
157
00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:51,190
trying to buy his
way out of trouble.
158
00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:53,590
Fez, give Michael a chance.
159
00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:56,470
You know what?
No, Simpson, forget it.
160
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:59,910
Fez, you're the one that
blew it with Suzy, okay?
161
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:02,630
I don't know you were going
to shoot a defenseless rabbit.
162
00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:07,350
Well, if you didn't know that,
then you never knew me at all!
163
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:09,270
Whatever!
164
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,230
You know what, I don't
care if you're mad at me,
165
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,590
'cause now I'm mad at you!
166
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:16,390
Fine! Well, you could
keep your stupid gifts,
167
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:18,670
because now I don't want them!
168
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:30,550
If you must know, it
will be this then this.
169
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,870
So you knocked up
the neighbour girl.
170
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,550
Oh, my God.
171
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,990
You should've been thinking
a little more about God
172
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:47,590
before you got into this mess.
173
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:50,390
He would've stopped
you at first base.
174
00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:53,470
Mom, you promised you
wouldn't say anything.
175
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,510
And I didn't. I wrote it down.
176
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:05,910
So you're pregnant.
177
00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:09,270
Okay, well, um, okay.
178
00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:10,270
We'll move the wedding
to next month,
179
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:11,830
and then nine months
later, we'll tell people
180
00:09:11,870 --> 00:09:15,030
the baby came early
because you smoked.
181
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:17,670
No. I don't want to
move the wedding up.
182
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,270
Don't we get a say in this?
183
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,070
Red, say something.
184
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:24,270
Oh.
185
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,950
Donna, he's not gonna help us.
186
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,870
Right now he's
trying to figure out
187
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,150
how to get both of his
feet in both of our asses
188
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:32,790
without leaving his chair.
189
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,390
Stop being weird.
190
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,950
We'll just have to
make the best of this.
191
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:41,190
Besides, with Donna for a mother,
192
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:45,670
there's a decent chance the
kid'll be good at sports.
193
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,710
Well, Donna, I think you're
too young to be a mother,
194
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,230
so here's what we do...
195
00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:52,270
Tell the kid you're his sister,
196
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:54,670
midge and I are the parents,
and when he turns 18,
197
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:57,070
tell him we lied.
198
00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:00,150
Probably get a good chuckle
out of the whole thing.
199
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,510
Eric, a little help?
200
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:06,150
Okay. You guys...
201
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,670
Okay. Whether we're
pregnant or not,
202
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:10,510
we can run our own lives, okay?
203
00:10:10,550 --> 00:10:11,710
Yeah.
204
00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,950
And you know what?
It would have been great
205
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,710
if Donna could have had a
career, but things change.
206
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,070
So, you know, fine,
207
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:21,990
so you'll stay home with the baby.
208
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:24,350
Whoa. What?
209
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:26,150
So I don't get a career?
210
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:28,470
Well, you know...
211
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:30,990
You could sell
tupperware or something.
212
00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:34,950
Okay, you can just get bent.
213
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:37,030
What? Oh, come on. What did I say?
214
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,550
That wasn't so bad, was it?
215
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:41,750
No. I would love a tupperware
lady in the family.
216
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:51,510
Oh, hey, Jackie, have you
seen Donna? Is she okay?
217
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:53,350
Well, she wanted me
to tell you a secret.
218
00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:56,150
Okay. Ow!
219
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:59,110
Hey, guys. Ooh, what
stinks out here?
220
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:02,990
It must be this big,
girl-stealing turd.
221
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,150
All right. That's it.
222
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,270
Let's go.
223
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,950
Oh, I will slap you silly.
224
00:11:07,990 --> 00:11:09,510
Oh, stop!
225
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,430
Hey, look, Jackie's
right, all right?
226
00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:13,350
If you guys want to
fight, let's go inside
227
00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:15,470
where there's more stuff
to hit your head on.
228
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:18,390
Come on, you guys,
lots of couples fight,
229
00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:19,990
but there's an easy
way to fix this.
230
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,790
Just decide which one
of you is the woman,
231
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:25,510
and the other one just apologize.
232
00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:28,950
No. I don't want to
make up with kelso.
233
00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:31,150
I want to make fun of kelso.
234
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,350
Hey, guys, what's up with kelso?
235
00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:34,910
Stupid.
236
00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:39,590
Hey, guys, what's up with Fez?
237
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:41,110
Foreign.
238
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:46,230
Okay, you guys, this I
s getting pretty lame.
239
00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:47,310
Let's split into two groups.
240
00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:49,070
Good idea... boys and girls.
241
00:11:49,110 --> 00:11:50,430
Let's go, Jackie.
242
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,870
What?
243
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:58,350
How you doing, kitten?
244
00:11:58,390 --> 00:12:00,110
Fine.
245
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,510
I don't know.
246
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,430
I'm scared.
247
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,670
Just know that whether
you're pregnant or not,
248
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:12,150
you're still my little girl.
249
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,550
I support you.
250
00:12:13,590 --> 00:12:15,310
Thanks, dad.
251
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:18,190
But if you are pregnant,
don't let red touch the baby.
252
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:23,510
He thinks he's tickling,
but he just pokes.
253
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,350
Trust me, I know from experience.
254
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:30,030
Well, dad, maybe red wasn't
trying to tickle you.
255
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:32,590
Maybe he was trying to poke you.
256
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:34,350
Why would red poke me?
257
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:36,230
Why would he tickle you?
258
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:41,390
Fez, since you're mad at Michael,
259
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:43,310
shouldn't you be
cutting his head out
260
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:46,750
of those pictures
instead of your head?
261
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:48,430
Oh, I can't do that.
262
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:51,310
Have you seen how
well he photographs?
263
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:54,350
Fez, I can't believe you're
gonna let it end this way.
264
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:57,390
I always thought you and
Michael would make it.
265
00:12:57,430 --> 00:13:00,150
Well, we look good in public,
266
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:03,470
but you weren't there
for the bad times...
267
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:07,830
Like he never noticed
when I got a new outfit.
268
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,310
Fez, just do what I did
to get over Michael.
269
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,390
Make out with Hyde?
270
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:16,110
No. Just stop thinking about him.
271
00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:19,230
I can't.
272
00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:24,270
Even the hub reminds me of him.
273
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:26,190
I remember this one day.
274
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:30,830
It was the only day the
hub ever had tater tots...
275
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,590
And there was this
really big tater tot,
276
00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:35,830
and I'll never forget
what kelso said.
277
00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,670
He said...
278
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:42,950
That's not a tater tot.
That's a tater giant."
279
00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:49,870
Oh, how we laughed.
280
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:53,510
Oh, Fez, Michael took
me for granted, too.
281
00:13:53,550 --> 00:13:56,270
But I found someone
better, and so will you.
282
00:13:56,310 --> 00:14:00,110
Yeah, don't end it all now.
You have so much to live for.
283
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:03,390
That's what we say when 're
trying to talk down a jumper.
284
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,270
I guess it doesn't
really apply here.
285
00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:13,190
You know, I'm glad Fez
is out of my life.
286
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,590
Always with the mood swings,
287
00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:18,470
and I'd ask what's wrong,
and all I'd hear was,
288
00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:20,230
"nothing."
289
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:21,630
And then the minute I want
290
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:24,590
to watch a game, suddenly it's
time to talk about our feelings.
291
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,750
Women.
292
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,590
Actually, we're
talking about a man.
293
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:30,630
Boy, you guys are progressive.
294
00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:33,230
The thing is, I know I
didn't do anything wrong,
295
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:36,230
but where am I gonna find
another friend like Fez?
296
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,230
Look, man, there are plenty of
other fish in the sea, okay?
297
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,310
It's like when you
and Jackie broke up.
298
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,350
It was for the best,
and after awhile,
299
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:44,510
she found someone better... me.
300
00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:48,310
And since then, I've enjoyed
throwing that in your face
301
00:14:48,390 --> 00:14:50,310
as often as possible.
302
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,510
What was your question again?
303
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,590
Oh, my God. Great news...
Donna's not pregnant.
304
00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:59,150
She's not talking to me,
305
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:00,430
and she kind of hung up on me,
306
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,510
but that click and dead silence
307
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:05,230
was the most beautiful
sound I ever heard.
308
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:08,510
Well, what a relief,
309
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,230
but you and I are still having
310
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,270
a good, long talk
about the uterus.
311
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,790
Man, dodged a bullet there, huh?
312
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:22,830
Almost had a little dumb-ass
running around here, huh?
313
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:27,830
I'm gonna go throw up now.
314
00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,870
You know, you have
been awfully calm
315
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:32,310
about this whole thing.
316
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,870
You haven't threatened
317
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:37,110
to put a foot in
anyone's rear all day.
318
00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:39,270
Well, I...
319
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:41,870
I guess I was kind of looking
forward to having a grandkid.
320
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:44,430
I mean, since my heart attack,
321
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,910
I've realized at life is short,
322
00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:48,230
and it would be nice
323
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,270
to know my grandkids before I go.
324
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,350
Oh, that's so sweet.
325
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:56,270
Well, you know, if you're
really disappointed,
326
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,030
we could always ask Laurie.
327
00:15:58,110 --> 00:16:00,510
She might have a few
kids we don't know about.
328
00:16:08,870 --> 00:16:10,150
Simpson, I'm here.
329
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:12,510
Where's the cat on the trampoline?
330
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:16,350
Sorry, Michael. There is no cat.
331
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:18,750
Is there at least a trampoline?
332
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:21,190
Please have a seat.
333
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:23,310
Tater tots.
334
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,910
You know, the last time
335
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,390
the hub had tater tots was when...
336
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:32,470
Suzy, I got your message.
Where's the bouncing kitty?
337
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:37,070
What's he doing here?
338
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:39,710
Okay, I've called you here
339
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,230
because it's time you
two talked things over,
340
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,550
and I've used tater
tots to recreate
341
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,670
one of your happiest
times together.
342
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:49,110
Oh, look!
343
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:52,590
There's a really big one.
344
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:56,950
That's not a tater tot.
That's a tater giant.
345
00:16:58,070 --> 00:17:01,110
I look at your jumbo
tot, and I feel nothing.
346
00:17:03,070 --> 00:17:06,830
I, too, resist your tot.
347
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:10,430
Oh, come on, Michael,
348
00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,470
Fez is a great guy.
349
00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:16,670
He's... he's loyal and
sweet and innocent.
350
00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:19,630
And, Fez, Michael's great, too.
351
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:23,790
He's pure and strong and...
352
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:27,390
More man than I've ever
seen in one pair of pants.
353
00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:29,270
Hey, he's not so pure.
354
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:31,470
He's expecting a baby
with another woman.
355
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,550
What?!
356
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:37,590
Well, he's not so innocent.
He's married.
357
00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:42,510
What? Oh, my God.
You're both disgusting!
358
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,510
I don't want either one of you,
359
00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:46,110
and you really missed out,
360
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,030
because I spent a
semester in France,
361
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,830
and I do stuff American
girls think is gross.
362
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:01,270
Whoa. What was that about?
363
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,790
Yeah. She's flipping out
'cause someone she likes
364
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,990
is married or having
an illegitimate child.
365
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:09,270
What's she gonna do when
there's real trouble?
366
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:11,270
Yeah, we're better
off without her.
367
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:12,550
Yeah.
368
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,470
Wait. "We"?
369
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:17,630
Ah, I guess I've missed you.
370
00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,830
Really? Man, 'cause
I missed you, too,
371
00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,670
and, well, I wasn't
trying to steal her.
372
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,430
I wanted her to be with you.
373
00:18:23,510 --> 00:18:27,310
That's okay. I'd rather
have my friend back anyway.
374
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,510
Do you wanna...
375
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:37,590
I do if you do.
376
00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:40,310
I do.
377
00:18:44,609 --> 00:18:46,971
(Peaches and Herb)
Reunited
378
00:18:47,171 --> 00:18:49,392
And it feels so good
379
00:18:50,624 --> 00:18:52,918
Reunited
380
00:18:53,118 --> 00:18:55,088
'cause we understood
381
00:18:55,288 --> 00:18:57,822
there's one perfect fit
382
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,466
and, sugar,
this one is it
383
00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:04,534
we both are so excited
384
00:19:04,734 --> 00:19:07,344
'cause we're reunited
385
00:19:07,544 --> 00:19:09,892
hey, hey
386
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:12,590
We are so lucky.
387
00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:14,870
I mean, it's obvious we're
not ready to be parents.
388
00:19:14,950 --> 00:19:16,310
What would we do?
389
00:19:16,390 --> 00:19:18,670
Hey, anything you want.
390
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:20,390
And by the way,
391
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:23,150
when I said you could
sell tupperware,
392
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,750
that was just, like, code
393
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:28,190
for you could be president
of the United States.
394
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,630
I don't believe you,
395
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,550
but I'm too relieved to be mad.
396
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:32,990
I'll probably bring it up
397
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,350
when we're having a fight
about something else.
398
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:38,190
Listen, Donna, all I know is,
399
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:40,910
we can never make
this mistake again.
400
00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:43,390
Yeah, don't worry.
I think we learned our lesson.
401
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,230
Hurry up, Donna.
402
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:50,030
You're, uh, you're cutting
into your foreplay time.
403
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,630
One second.
404
00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:58,990
Oh, no!
405
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,470
What?! What?!
406
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,910
Just kidding.
407
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:07,030
That's not funny, Donna.
408
00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:09,270
I can't even do it now.
409
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,750
Yes, I can.
410
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:21,450
What would a French girl do
411
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,330
that an American girl
would think is gross?
412
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:27,090
It could be anything.
They eat snails.
413
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:29,490
Maybe it's foot stuff.
414
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:31,170
Foot stuff?
415
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,810
What would you do to a foot?
416
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:35,650
I don't know, like...
417
00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,250
Lick it or something.
418
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:39,090
What is wrong with you?
419
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:41,730
What are you, some
kind of foot licker?
420
00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:45,170
No. I wouldn't lick.
I would get licked.
421
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:46,690
Oh God! Why did I say that?
30799
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