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1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,560
So get this, I got fired!
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,160
I'd never thought I'd say this but...
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,160
apparently I'm not good enough
for the dog food factory.
4
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,800
I thought you'd say that.
5
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:15,760
Honey, don't worry...
6
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,880
we'll get along fine without your paycheck.
7
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,400
Instead of going to the movies,
we'll watch TV.
8
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,720
Instead of eating popcorn, we'll lick salt.
9
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,040
It's like, why would Joanne fire me?
10
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,720
Bob she's your girlfriend,
did she say anything?
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,280
Eric, ixnay on oanne-jay.
12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,000
Donna, you know I don't
understand Pig Latin.
13
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,640
Bob, what is Joanne's problem?
14
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,080
Eric, ixnay means shut up.
15
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,120
It's okay, honey. I can talk about it.
16
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,880
Me and Joanne broke up.
17
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,120
And-- and I didn't see it coming.
18
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,320
Bob, what did I tell you last week?
19
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,720
Don't cry in your kitchen?
20
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,960
And I didn't mean just that day.
I meant always.
21
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,120
I better go then.
22
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,120
Nice going.
23
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,680
Ackass-jay
24
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,640
Ackass-jay?!
25
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,280
Oh...
26
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,520
Jackass!
27
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,520
Well, honey, I don't think you're a jackass.
I think you're a jack-angel.
28
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:21,880
Hey Mom, look, I know...
29
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,120
you're worried about money with
Dad not being able to work.
30
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,320
But I want you to know, I'm gonna go
right back out there and get a...
31
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,080
a better job, a high paying job.
32
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,400
Well sure, just go down to
the Bureau of High Paying Jobs.
33
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,000
You can't miss it, it's right next to the
Pie-in-the-Sky Office.
34
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,840
Jackass!
35
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,440
Oh really? Thank you.
36
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,200
Well the job search is going great.
37
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,120
I think I have a shot at
washing an old man's back...
38
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,760
on tuesdays and thursdays.
39
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,760
They were looking for a waiter
down at the restaurant.
40
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,960
Whoa, why'd you tell him,
I'm up for that job.
41
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,240
That's why I told him.
42
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:02,760
No, no, no.
43
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,160
Look, Eric,
I need this job way more than you do.
44
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,720
You don't have a baby on the way.
45
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,880
But I do have a family to support.
46
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,200
And-- if I don't keep the booze flowing,
they're going to get violent.
47
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,000
Well, look...
48
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,920
the only way Brooke's going to let
me be a part of my kid's life is if...
49
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,480
I prove to her that I'm responsible.
50
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,800
A promotion at the
restaurant would impress her.
51
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:23,920
And, I mean...
52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,920
busboy is a job but waiter is a career.
53
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,560
Okay. Well then, you know what.
We'll just both go down there, apply and...
54
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,040
may the best man win.
55
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,640
No, I want it.
56
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,000
Laurie! Well look what
the whore dragged in.
57
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,840
Herself.
58
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,080
Need I remind you that you are married.
59
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,520
Oh, that's okay.
The guy from last night was married too.
60
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,720
What is your problem?
61
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,520
Are you two at it again?
62
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,320
Your green card is on the way,
I thought this marriage was over.
63
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,560
Laurie, I gave you $50 last week to go
down to the court house...
64
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,440
and file for divorce. What happened?
65
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,440
Well I had to get a new
make up mirror and some wine.
66
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,120
Tomorrow we're going to the court house.
67
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,600
Hmm, the court house is across town.
I wonder if you can make it...
68
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,840
all the way there
without sleeping with someone.
69
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,200
I bet I can make it there
without sleeping with you.
70
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,080
Bitch!
71
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,200
Bob?
72
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,600
What are you doin' here, anyway?
73
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,840
Oh, it's just something I'm trying out.
74
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,080
How's it goin'?
75
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:33,640
It's a little uncomfortable.
76
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,800
I thought it'll be better
than sitting home alone.
77
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,200
It's not.
78
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,200
Oh, my poor dad.
79
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,400
I wish there was something I can do
to make him feel better.
80
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,520
Well, once when I was sad,
when Michael was cheating on me...
81
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,320
I got flowers from a secret admirer,
and it cheered me right up.
82
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,160
I mean, sure I send them to myself.
But it's the thought that counts.
83
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,240
Those flowers were from you?
84
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,880
You let me go on and on
about how they were from me.
85
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:07,800
God, try a little honesty!
86
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,400
Wait. That's actually not a bad idea.
87
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,880
If my dad thought somebody else likes him,
he wouldn't be so bummed about Joanne.
88
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,200
But men don't really like flowers, do they?
89
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,960
No, they remind as of bees.
90
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,560
Oh, I'll send him fudge.
91
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,120
He loves fudge. I know
because one time he got some...
92
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,720
and I asked if I can have a piece,
and he quickly changed the subject.
93
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,880
Well, let me tell them
what to write in the card.
94
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,680
I'm good at that.
95
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,520
When I sent myself those flowers
and read how much I love me,
96
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,000
I felt so much better.
97
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,760
Hey, Roy, remember me? I'm Eric Forman.
98
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,920
- Oh hey, how are you?
- I'm here to apply for the waiter position.
99
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,080
- Okay.
- Roy...
100
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,400
that's the guy I was telling you about.
101
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,480
Ohh...
102
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,000
Well, I don't think we
can hire a waiter...
103
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,360
who's got a disease that
spreads through food.
104
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:04,120
Roy, he really doesn't like to
talk about his death-a-food-a-spreaditis.
105
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,480
Death-a-food-a-spread-a-what?
106
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,520
Who are you? Elmer Fudd?
107
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,640
All right fine, he doesn't have a disease.
108
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,600
I just-- I really want the job, Roy.
109
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,280
Well I wish I could give it to both of you.
I mean...
110
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,320
Eric's got that Zippy personality
and Kelso's old man.
111
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,400
I know what we should do.
We should make it a competition.
112
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,240
That way, there's the fun
of someone losing.
113
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,560
Okay, everybody, let's put
some smiles on those faces.
114
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,320
We're goin' to get divorced.
115
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,400
What the hell's this?
116
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,560
Looks like a box.
117
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,720
I know it's a box.
118
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,960
Hey, what's with the attitude?
I'm just making conversation...
119
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,280
looks like a box, it is a box.
This is how real people talk, man.
120
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,400
Oh, it's a present.
121
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,320
Ooh, it's a wedding present
from Aunt Martha!
122
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,200
You told her about the marriage?
123
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,120
We agreed never to speak
of this evil to anyone!
124
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,360
Well, I had to tell a few people...
125
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:20,040
because I never thought I'd be able to say
"Laurie got married"...
126
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,000
without adding
"and the baby came early".
127
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,600
Ooh, look at the paper sparkle!
128
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,760
I wonder what it is.
129
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,400
Well keep wondering 'cause
this package is going right back.
130
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,000
- But Daddy!
- But Daddy!
131
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,000
No, no, I-- I'm just curious...
132
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,640
Aunt Martha's well to do.
133
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,960
So you have to figure, it's
a pretty nice present.
134
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,080
Don't you want to just peek?
135
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,280
No, I want to go to the court house.
Now get moving.
136
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,720
Whatever's in this package
might make you happy for a day,
137
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,320
but a divorce is a gift
that lasts a lifetime.
138
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,080
Guess what girls?
139
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,600
I got fudge.
140
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,800
Fudge? What a surprise!
141
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,680
Who is it from?
142
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,520
It doesn't say.
But there's a poem.
143
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,520
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
144
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,320
Fudge is sweet
Here's some fudge."
145
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,040
Wha-- they rushed me.
146
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,920
I wonder who it's from,
147
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,320
'cause it sounds like someone likes you.
148
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,080
I hope it's a lady.
149
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,720
Hello!
150
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,040
Oh, hi Joanne.
151
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,320
It's Joanne.
152
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,680
Really? Well...
153
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,480
I think it's a little late to talk
about getting back together...
154
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,080
it turns out, I'm very desirable.
155
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,560
So I think this is goodbye.
156
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,560
Oh, and I want my
Barry White albums back...
157
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,640
and my body paints.
158
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:04,840
Oh my God!
159
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,440
I know they painted each other! Ugh!
160
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,480
Eric, you're first.
161
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,800
I'm gonna test you on the skills
every waiter should have.
162
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,960
Roy, I want you to know that because
of my extensive background in crafts...
163
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,000
I can fold a napkin
into a rose, a swan...
164
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,360
and the rarely seen, X-wing Fighter.
165
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,960
- Cool!
- I know.
166
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,720
Okay, I'm gonna place a difficult order...
167
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,760
and you'll relay it to Steven
in the kitchen. Here it goes.
168
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,400
Surf and turf, no seafood.
Meat, nice and pink.
169
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,280
Mashed potatoes, not mashed.
Sliced into wedges and fried up.
170
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,440
Okay, so steak, medium rare
and french fries.
171
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,520
Okay I'm gonna need #4, still kickin',
hold the guppy and send it to France.
172
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:41,920
And that...
173
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,000
is how you do that.
174
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,920
Surf and turf, no seafood.
Meat, nice and pink.
175
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,560
Mashed potatoes, not mashed.
Sliced into wedges and fried up.
176
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,600
One cheese burger.
177
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,320
It's very important that a waiter
can deal with difficult costumers.
178
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,440
Steven and I are gonna play
a married couple.
179
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,200
I'm not so into this Roy.
180
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,840
Excuse me waiter, uh,
this wine is no good.
181
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,040
It's our anniversary and
I want everything to be perfect.
182
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,760
God knows it's hard enough just
to get him out of the house.
183
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,880
Well I'm very sorry madam...
184
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,360
if you'll allow me to bring you
a complimentary bottle of our finest wine...
185
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,720
I'd be most obliged.
186
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,960
Most obliged?
187
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,600
That's Shakespeare.
188
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,480
Waiter! Uh, it's our anniversary
and this wine is no good.
189
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,280
Yeah, you got a lot more
problems than the wine.
190
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,280
You are one ugly broad.
191
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,240
I do not appreciate your tone.
192
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,440
My tone?
Dude your wife's a bitch!
193
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,280
Okay. Work your way around the tables
with a tray full of dishes...
194
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,320
without spilling or dropping anything.
195
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,280
And for God's sake,
watch out for the baby.
196
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,480
Go!
197
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,720
Ten bucks says his skinny little wrist
snaps under the weight.
198
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,560
I'll take that bet.
He's scrawny, but strong.
199
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,440
Like the Vietcong.
200
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,280
So...
201
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,240
Like when does this test start?
202
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,200
All right.
Oh, what's this?
203
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,760
Roy, I think you might have left
a 20 dollar bill tucked in my sleeve.
204
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,640
I'm always losing stuff.
205
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,400
But-- No Roy, that was...
206
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,760
And, go!
207
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,480
Well Eric, you're hired.
208
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,440
Oh really?
Roy, this is like a dream. Uh...
209
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,280
A really mediocre dream.
210
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:02,010
All right everybody...
211
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,530
only twelve signatures
to the end of what I like to call...
212
00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,130
the shame.
213
00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:14,530
Still there...
214
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:16,010
and it calls to me.
215
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:20,890
Like a box with something
mysterious in it.
216
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:26,250
There's nothing like a present
wrapped in beautiful paper.
217
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:28,210
It's like...
218
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:31,730
Cary Grant in a tuxedo.
I just want to rip it off.
219
00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:36,610
Don't touch it!
220
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,410
I'm not...
221
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:39,610
I'm smelling it.
222
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,570
What does it smell like?
223
00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,090
A box.
224
00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:54,650
- I hope it's a sewing machine.
- I hope it's a TV.
225
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:55,530
I hope it's a...
226
00:12:55,570 --> 00:12:57,530
a chocolate TV.
227
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,770
There could be perishables in there.
228
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,450
Oh my God!
What if it's a puppy?
229
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:09,970
We have to open it.
230
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:12,490
I don't care if Eric's in there.
231
00:13:13,730 --> 00:13:14,890
It's going back.
232
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:17,290
Now, let's get this signed.
233
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,730
- Look right here, paper's ripped.
- Oh my gosh, you're right.
234
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:25,210
Hmm. I see part of a word, moore...
235
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,530
and under that, something cro...
236
00:13:28,330 --> 00:13:30,530
Moore... Cro...
Moore... Cro...
237
00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:35,050
It's a Kenmoore Microwave!
I win! I win!
238
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,530
Hey. Hyde, where's table seven's fish?
239
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,570
Oh, I got that for you Eric.
240
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,730
Here is your Fillet of Sole.
241
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:49,410
Ohh... Burn!
242
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,370
All right Eric, here's the
pea soup you ordered.
243
00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,850
You peed in this soup, didn't you?
244
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,250
No. I'm done trying to screw you over.
245
00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:05,770
All right bud. It's not
your fault you got the job...
246
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,450
some people are busboy,
and some people are waiters. And...
247
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:12,570
guess I'm... just an... extremely...
248
00:14:13,570 --> 00:14:15,930
handsome busboy.
249
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,370
Roy...
250
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:24,370
that extremely handsome busboy
just broke my heart.
251
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,850
I really don't think
he'd peed in the soup, Eric.
252
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,410
Look, couldn't you find
another waiter job for him?
253
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,850
He needs a break,
he's got a baby on the way.
254
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:36,410
Well, there might be a job opening up...
255
00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:39,450
'cause Jeannie said she'd quit
if I don't stop asking her out.
256
00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:44,250
Come on, I'm not gonna stop
asking her out.
257
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,050
So...
258
00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,050
if I really work hard with Kelso...
259
00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:50,690
will you give him another tryout?
260
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:51,890
Sure.
261
00:14:52,770 --> 00:14:55,370
But I really don't think he can handle it...
262
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:58,130
and my standards for
food service are really low.
263
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,730
I haven't washed my hands in four days.
264
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:12,170
- Dad--
- Too late, I finished it.
265
00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:17,050
So, I was trying to figure out
who sent me the fudge...
266
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,890
and I thought, it could be
the lady at the pharmacy.
267
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,490
Which is nice because
she's seen my prescriptions...
268
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,890
so we can skip that
awkward conversation.
269
00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:30,450
Or it could be the mail lady.
270
00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:32,850
Dad, I have to tell you something.
271
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,090
Jackie and I sent you the fudge.
272
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:38,010
What?
273
00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:40,890
Well you seemed so sad that
we wanted to cheer you up.
274
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:44,490
But then we screwed your chance of
getting back together with Joanne, so...
275
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:46,570
So nobody likes me.
276
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,650
We like you!
277
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:53,290
Eh...
278
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,450
We're really sorry, Dad.
279
00:15:57,810 --> 00:15:59,890
I guess it's not so bad. I mean...
280
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,890
I haven't thought about Joanne all day.
281
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,770
Well if you want we can
all do something today.
282
00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:06,050
I could take you to the
model train shop.
283
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:09,650
Some of the tiny trees in Pinciotti Town
are looking pretty ratty.
284
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,890
Nah, I'm gonna go down and
talk to the girl at the pharmacy.
285
00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:18,050
She's got a better
keister than the mail lady.
286
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:21,170
You'd think with all that walkin'...
287
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,770
Hey, guess you either got it or you don't.
288
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:30,330
Guys, give it up.
I'm not gonna be able to do this.
289
00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:31,970
Hey!
290
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,490
That's not the Kelso I know.
291
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:36,690
A lot of people said couldn't fit
73 cherry bombs into a toilet...
292
00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:38,290
and who proved them wrong?
293
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,410
I did.
294
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:42,690
That's right!
295
00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:45,250
And a lot of people said you couldn't
make out with both of the Ziegler twins...
296
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,330
on the same night and
who proved them wrong?
297
00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:49,730
I did!
298
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:54,330
Oh, and I also brushed your mom's boob
at a bake sale...
299
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:55,490
so actually it was a three-fer.
300
00:16:56,450 --> 00:17:00,370
Exactly! You are Michael Kelso. Right?
You make the impossible happen.
301
00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:02,370
Now come on.
Let's do this!
302
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,050
Okay. Ready.
303
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:05,890
Get set.
304
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,170
Kelso!
305
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:11,330
What?!
306
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,530
Good luck.
307
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:21,250
Ah! What a beautiful morning!
The birds are singing.
308
00:17:21,410 --> 00:17:23,930
The flowers are blooming.
Divorce is in the air.
309
00:17:26,090 --> 00:17:28,170
Now, let's finish this.
310
00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:30,730
Red, no one wants to get divorced
on an empty stomach.
311
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,890
Ooh, and that's breakfast!
312
00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:39,130
You used the microwave!
313
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:43,850
Red Forman, I firmly believe that God wants
me to bake a potato in four minutes.
314
00:17:45,450 --> 00:17:48,410
No, God wants these two divorced...
315
00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:51,650
and all evidence of their
unholy union out of this house.
316
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:53,930
We got another present.
317
00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:56,810
No, no! Don't open it 'cause
we're not keeping it.
318
00:17:57,970 --> 00:17:59,090
Whoa.
319
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:03,530
Look at that saw!
320
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,530
It's from Billy Schneider
down at the hardware store.
321
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:11,210
He's had a crush on me since I went
ladder shopping in that miniskirt.
322
00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:17,330
Okay, just to make it clear.
If you're buying me a gift...
323
00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:19,050
I want candy.
324
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:23,210
For my birthday, christmas,
daylight savings-- candy.
325
00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,250
Candy!
326
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:29,130
Now, you can have the saw, Red.
327
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:31,570
No. I...
328
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,930
that would be, uh...
329
00:18:34,370 --> 00:18:35,610
wrong.
330
00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:37,210
Well.
331
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:40,330
It would be wrong
if they were divorced.
332
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:44,890
But if they stayed married,
sending the gifts back would be rude.
333
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:50,130
You make a good point!
334
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,010
But I want a divorce.
335
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,010
I'll tell you what, honey.
We'll wait a month.
336
00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:58,690
If a riding mower hasn't
shown up by then, we'll talk.
337
00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:04,410
Okay, remember, buddy.
The tray is like a lady.
338
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:06,290
Dance with her.
339
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:10,290
And, go!
340
00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:44,770
I did it!
341
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,610
Congratulations!
You got the job.
342
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:49,610
- Oh. I can't wait to tell Brooke!
- Hey.
343
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:52,810
Welcome to the exclusive ranks of waiter
at a crappy hotel restaurant.
344
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:56,730
I can't believe that I did it.
345
00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:57,690
Yeah.
346
00:19:58,410 --> 00:19:59,650
I can't believe the glue held.
347
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:05,770
Yeah.
Super Glue kicks ass!
348
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,970
You know what Kelso.
Your first shift is not gonna go well.
349
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:12,010
Oh, it's gonna be a disaster!
350
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,350
"Warning: Never put
metal in the microwave"
351
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:24,910
This isn't metal, it is soup.
352
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,390
Miss Kitty!
Eric broke the microwave!
26746
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