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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:27,846 Man: This holiday season, 2 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,880 show your loved ones that you really care 3 00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:32,880 by getting them the gift that they've always wanted. 4 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,880 Whoa, dad! Really?! 5 00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:37,466 Girl: Yes! 6 00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:39,259 Is there anything else? Wow. 7 00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:41,811 Slim jenko! This is just what I wanted! 8 00:00:41,846 --> 00:00:43,881 I want some! 9 00:00:43,916 --> 00:00:45,743 We can all have some. 10 00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:48,191 Man: We here at slim jenko pride ourselves 11 00:00:48,226 --> 00:00:51,226 on delivering a rich, flavorful malt beverage 12 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:52,778 for the entire family. 13 00:00:52,812 --> 00:00:55,571 Make us part of your holiday tradition. 14 00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,881 Man #2: This Friday night at midnight on channel 83. 15 00:00:57,916 --> 00:00:59,881 - Mommy! - Lester. 16 00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:01,503 Lester, what are you doing? 17 00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:04,503 "Killed on Christmas: The Lester lord stor..." 18 00:01:09,365 --> 00:01:13,158 Woman: Including a regulation busting 2,500 milligrams 19 00:01:13,192 --> 00:01:14,744 of pure thc. 20 00:01:14,779 --> 00:01:16,572 Man #3: Kunz Christmas creampies, 21 00:01:16,606 --> 00:01:19,365 an established cream pie professional for over 50... 22 00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:21,711 Man #4: The U.S. defense department has spent over 23 00:01:21,745 --> 00:01:24,607 a trillion dollars on the most cutting edge robot technology, 24 00:01:24,642 --> 00:01:27,745 deployed overseas for a swift victory against america's 25 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:31,262 deadliest enemies, and now sowell robotic products 26 00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:34,745 is here to make that technology fun for the entire family. 27 00:01:36,849 --> 00:01:39,193 Ho. Ho. Ho. 28 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,884 Man #4: Introducing robosanta plus 29 00:01:40,919 --> 00:01:42,608 for the upcoming holiday season, 30 00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:45,470 with a vocabulary of over 90,000 words, 31 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:46,850 a full range of motion, 32 00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:48,815 and built with military grade construction, 33 00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:51,781 robosanta plus fully replaces your local degenerate 34 00:01:51,815 --> 00:01:54,781 mall Santa, keeping you and your children safe. 35 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:58,194 Exclusively this weekend 36 00:01:58,229 --> 00:02:03,644 at midland mall and gw bonkers. 37 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:13,299 ♪♪ 38 00:02:16,954 --> 00:02:24,954 ♪♪ 39 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:32,369 ♪ I am the yule tide cold 40 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:35,369 ♪ leave the winter closed 41 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,335 ♪ like hive of holy 42 00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:42,577 ♪ well, I dream of you 43 00:02:42,611 --> 00:02:46,232 ♪ nothing is 44 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:49,335 ♪ and the slick 45 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,163 ♪ to not peak at your breast, love ♪ 46 00:02:53,197 --> 00:02:57,405 ♪ before the devil reigns 47 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,578 Tori: Thanks for coming in, guys. 48 00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:02,474 Thank you. Have a good one. 49 00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:04,854 Oh, shit! 50 00:03:04,888 --> 00:03:06,681 Hi. 51 00:03:06,716 --> 00:03:08,681 You look amazing. 52 00:03:08,716 --> 00:03:11,509 Hey, let me know if you need anything. 53 00:03:11,543 --> 00:03:13,543 Tori: Hey, it's almost 7:00, so I'm going to start 54 00:03:13,578 --> 00:03:15,199 closing up out back. You got it? 55 00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:17,268 - Yeah. - Oh, can you put this away? 56 00:03:17,303 --> 00:03:18,958 - Sure. - Thank you. 57 00:03:18,993 --> 00:03:20,199 - Hey! - Oh, shit. 58 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,717 - Merry Christmas. - Hi. 59 00:03:21,751 --> 00:03:23,382 It's about time you show your fucking face around here. 60 00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:24,624 Yeah, I've been busy. You guys are swamped. 61 00:03:24,648 --> 00:03:26,234 -I know, I know. 62 00:03:26,268 --> 00:03:27,796 I thought you and lahna were closing tonight. 63 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:30,303 Yeah, no, I told her I had to run home because I, um... 64 00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:31,579 Didn't get her gift. 65 00:03:31,613 --> 00:03:33,165 - I did get her a gift. - Oh, did you? 66 00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:34,556 But I'm now second guessing it, so now I'm going 67 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:35,970 - to get some records. - Oh, yeah, you should be 68 00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:37,452 second guessing this. She has both of these. 69 00:03:37,476 --> 00:03:38,925 - She does. - She does. Yeah. 70 00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:40,683 Uh, follow me. Come on. 71 00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:42,649 You guys been together for, what, like a year? 72 00:03:42,683 --> 00:03:44,338 How are you this fucking dumb? 73 00:03:44,373 --> 00:03:46,176 No, I'm not... it's... I can't tell the difference 74 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,442 between all these bands that the logos all look the same. 75 00:03:48,476 --> 00:03:50,211 - They all look the fucking same? - They all look the same. 76 00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:52,176 - All scratchy and weird. - Yeah, they kind of do. 77 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,788 Uh, all right, so what I'm going to show you now... yes. 78 00:03:55,822 --> 00:03:58,167 We saw these guys open at a festival this summer. 79 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:01,650 She was fucking all over it. They've got the psychedelic, 80 00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,270 cosmic riff. She'll fucking love it. 81 00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,512 - Deathcrux? - Yeah. 82 00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:05,926 Okay. And she does not have this? 83 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,512 - She does not have this. - Right on. 84 00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:08,867 - You're welcome. - Yes. No, thank you, Tori. 85 00:04:08,891 --> 00:04:10,753 Thank you. You saved Christmas again. 86 00:04:10,788 --> 00:04:14,651 Tori: By the way, I will come and say merry Christmas 87 00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:16,306 - to Lauren. - Sounds good. 88 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,972 But just don't tell her I showed up here, okay? 89 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,868 - What are you talking about? - Don't do the whole thing you do 90 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,420 - when you're like... - "Oh, my god, it's so good 91 00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,375 - to see you. - No, yeah, don't do that. 92 00:04:23,409 --> 00:04:24,513 - Okay, bye. - Okay. 93 00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:25,858 - Robbie. - Hey, bro. 94 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:27,454 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, man. 95 00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:30,306 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 96 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:33,203 ♪ bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 97 00:04:35,686 --> 00:04:38,203 Robbie: Fuck yeah. Almost 2 grand. 98 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,514 - Yeah, that's a big day. - Does that mean a big boy bonus? 99 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,238 - Means a bonus, yeah. - Fuck yeah, dawg! 100 00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:46,755 What are you going to do with your big bonus? 101 00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:48,238 You got any plans? 102 00:04:48,272 --> 00:04:49,490 Well, the talent show is at 8:00 P.M. 103 00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:51,204 - So, no, not really. - Yeah. 104 00:04:51,239 --> 00:04:52,905 What are you going to do this fine Christmas Eve? 105 00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:57,825 I was potentially going to go meet up with a dude, 106 00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,860 but I don't know. 107 00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,480 - A dude, a man. - Yep. 108 00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:02,836 Okay, on Christmas Eve, you're going to invite 109 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,584 a stranger to your house. 110 00:05:04,618 --> 00:05:05,836 Uh, a stranger to Reggie's, yeah. 111 00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,411 Okay, cool. Fuck, they're still open. 112 00:05:07,446 --> 00:05:09,180 Did you meet him organically, 113 00:05:09,204 --> 00:05:10,699 or is this, like, a tinder sort of scenario? 114 00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:13,619 - Tinder situation, yeah. - Oh, tinder, okay. 115 00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:14,895 - Yeah. - Can I see him? 116 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,654 - Eh. - Eh. He must be a fucking stud. 117 00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,240 What the fuck else am I supposed to do? 118 00:05:19,274 --> 00:05:21,688 You want me to go home, drink some whiskey, 119 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:24,619 sit by the fire by my lonesome, watch "a Christmas story" 120 00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:27,550 like every other fucking douchebag in america? 121 00:05:27,585 --> 00:05:29,344 Yeah. Sounds kind of nice. 122 00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:32,344 Or you to go to drink some whiskey with me. 123 00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:33,631 Uh, that lahna's Christmas gift. 124 00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:35,172 - Is it? - So you can put a fuckin'... 125 00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:36,872 - No longer. - What the fuck are you doing? 126 00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,482 So, fuck no. 127 00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:39,793 I wanted to do that, too. 128 00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,172 So hand me some cups, and let's go. 129 00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,206 Are you gonna go see your pops up north tomorrow? 130 00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:45,620 - Yeah. - You should probably get 131 00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,286 - a head start late tonight. - No. Fuck that. 132 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,621 One day, in and out, is my rule. 133 00:05:48,656 --> 00:05:50,207 I can't see anything wrong in that. 134 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,552 - Fair enough. - Mazel tov. 135 00:05:51,587 --> 00:05:55,414 Robbie: Mazel tov. Cheers, motherfucker. 136 00:05:55,449 --> 00:05:57,173 Only quit stalling. Show me Tommy tinder. 137 00:05:57,207 --> 00:05:59,173 What the fuck is your obsession with this? 138 00:05:59,207 --> 00:06:00,632 - I want to see him. - I don't want to 139 00:06:00,656 --> 00:06:01,908 - show him to you. - Is he big? Is he a big boy? 140 00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:03,380 - Oh. - Bbw. 141 00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:04,770 - That what you want to know? - Yeah. 142 00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:07,760 In that case, I'll fuckin' show you. Here. 143 00:06:10,346 --> 00:06:11,657 What? 144 00:06:11,691 --> 00:06:13,519 I didn't know you knew Emmett eyeliner. 145 00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,588 Emmett eyeliner. Why are you calling him that? 146 00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:16,978 - Do you know him? - I know of him. 147 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,622 Did he tell you he got, like, three kids? 148 00:06:18,657 --> 00:06:20,346 Wait four. Someone's pregnant now, I think. 149 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,691 - Oh, fuck! He's got kids? - Yeah. 150 00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:24,381 I don't fucking care. 151 00:06:24,415 --> 00:06:26,761 I just want a little Christmas Eve schlong. 152 00:06:26,796 --> 00:06:29,382 Well, dude's a genic jackhammer. 153 00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:31,554 - Oh, Jesus. - Little, uh, sperm canon, 154 00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:33,347 all I'm saying. 155 00:06:33,382 --> 00:06:35,565 Okay, I'm happy you told me that, so I'll wear my dental dam 156 00:06:35,589 --> 00:06:37,692 and get fucking sauced before he shows up. 157 00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:39,623 Thank you. That's so sweet of you. 158 00:06:39,658 --> 00:06:40,668 Robbie: Well, I'll tell you what. 159 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,175 I can go to Reggie's with you 160 00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:44,520 because, um, I don't really have shit to do. 161 00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:46,762 Robbie, that's very, very sweet of you, 162 00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:47,969 but I want to get laid. 163 00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:49,728 Not wax poetic with the regulars. 164 00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:52,624 Well, seeing as you didn't buy me a Christmas present 165 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:54,486 this year, I'm going to take this. 166 00:06:54,521 --> 00:06:55,866 - Oh. - Thank you. 167 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,693 And you can enjoy your, what, two hours 168 00:06:57,728 --> 00:07:01,900 of unbearable conversation, your 7 seconds of lame sex. 169 00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:05,970 You go home, probably, you know, get yourself off anyway. 170 00:07:06,005 --> 00:07:07,660 Or, I'm just throwing this out there, 171 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:12,384 you can have two hours of amazing, vivacious, 172 00:07:12,418 --> 00:07:16,315 sort of hauntingly erotic conversation. 173 00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:18,177 - Hauntingly erotic? - Hauntingly erotic? 174 00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:19,901 And you can go home anyway. 175 00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:22,694 You know, get yourself off, like, flick your little bean. 176 00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,523 - Oh? - Yeah. 177 00:07:24,557 --> 00:07:26,671 And you don't have to wake up next to 30 seconds to Mars. 178 00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:28,902 All right, well, I've got a proposition for you. 179 00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:30,764 How about you give me back my fucking whiskey 180 00:07:30,799 --> 00:07:34,488 and stop talking about me flicking at my fucking bean? 181 00:07:34,523 --> 00:07:35,626 - Okay. - How about that? 182 00:07:35,661 --> 00:07:37,350 Have you confirmed with him? 183 00:07:37,385 --> 00:07:40,178 No, I have not given him a time. 184 00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:41,775 Poor guy. It's kind of sad. He's probably at home 185 00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:44,765 scrolling through your social media, fingers sweaty, 186 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,800 hand firmly on cock, just... 187 00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,558 Beating that meat, waiting for your text 188 00:07:49,593 --> 00:07:51,869 to pop up at the top. 189 00:07:51,903 --> 00:07:53,627 Mm. I've blown off twice already, so. 190 00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:55,179 - Third time's a charm. - Yeah. 191 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:57,800 Come on, get a drink with your old pal Robbie. 192 00:07:57,834 --> 00:08:00,972 It's my long time employee Robbie. 193 00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:03,387 - That's a little bit harsh. - It's true. I own you. 194 00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:04,846 - You own me? - You're on my payroll. Yeah. 195 00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,835 Mama. Okay. Okay. Okay. 196 00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,973 I'm going to change your mind. Have you heard his music? 197 00:08:10,008 --> 00:08:12,904 - I have not bothered, no. - Oh, that answers a lot. 198 00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:14,525 Why? What you got? 199 00:08:14,559 --> 00:08:15,880 Robbie: I'll show you something something fun. 200 00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:17,318 Tori: Hmm. 201 00:08:17,352 --> 00:08:19,283 All right. Ready? 202 00:08:19,318 --> 00:08:21,353 I'm losing interest already. Come on. 203 00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:22,698 Alright, you'll see. 204 00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,191 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 205 00:08:24,215 --> 00:08:26,767 What? 206 00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:29,767 - Oh, my god. - Soothing. 207 00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:31,502 Tori: Shut the fuck up. Why is he whisper singing? 208 00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:32,950 Robbie: Doesn't want to wake his parents, probably. 209 00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:34,353 What the fuck? Turn that off. 210 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,905 Why are you showing that to me? Stop. 211 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:37,571 Well, you know, it's not like you're going to saddle up 212 00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:39,433 with the son of a bitch. I mean, you should probably 213 00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:42,492 let the guy go back to his family and his kids. 214 00:08:42,527 --> 00:08:43,906 He's a daddy, after all. 215 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,389 - Daddy? - Yeah. 216 00:08:45,423 --> 00:08:48,561 Little Tommy tinder. 217 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,354 Well... 218 00:08:52,527 --> 00:08:53,813 All right. Let's go get shit faced. 219 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,561 But you're not getting anything either. 220 00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,227 So if you want to go flick your fucking bean, 221 00:08:57,251 --> 00:08:58,423 do what you need to do. 222 00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,976 - Come on. - All right. 223 00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:01,607 - Turn off the music. - Well, considering you were 224 00:09:01,631 --> 00:09:02,987 gonna saddle up with old Emmett eyeliner, 225 00:09:03,011 --> 00:09:04,735 I'm not sure how I should feel about that. 226 00:09:04,769 --> 00:09:06,607 Well, I don't work with them Emmett eyeliner, do I? 227 00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,262 Well, I am better looking in that douche, though, right? 228 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,631 Do you want to fucking die? 229 00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,366 Get your fucking grubby shoes off the counter. 230 00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:14,666 Kill the music before I change my mind. 231 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,883 - Should I meet you there or? - No, we're going to walk. 232 00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:21,425 - Well, it's fucking snowing out. - Oh, my god. That's so scary! 233 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,391 Come on. Get those chicken legs out. 234 00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,494 Let's go for a walk. I got to bring this to lahna. 235 00:09:25,529 --> 00:09:27,470 Robbie: Why? They close at 6:00. They're not going to be open. 236 00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,943 No, they'll still be there. 237 00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:30,977 They're having a little Christmas Eve fuckfest. 238 00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:32,563 What the hell, why? 239 00:09:32,598 --> 00:09:34,298 Tori: You don't want to fuck in a toy store? 240 00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:36,460 No. Well, mm, maybe. I mean... 241 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:37,989 Sounds like you don't want to fuck in a toy store. 242 00:09:38,013 --> 00:09:40,323 It's just kind of weird. Like, I feel sorry for the kid 243 00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:42,299 that's going to go in tomorrow, buy a Teddy bear covered 244 00:09:42,323 --> 00:09:43,737 - in fucking cum. - Oh, my god. 245 00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:45,495 We're going to scar him. That poor child. 246 00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,875 Come on. Lock up behind you. 247 00:09:54,771 --> 00:09:56,220 Robbie: We could have taken my car. 248 00:09:56,255 --> 00:09:57,565 Would have been a smart option. 249 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,565 Do you want to keep keep complaining? 250 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,255 Or do you want to just walk in silence? 251 00:10:01,289 --> 00:10:02,714 - What do you want to do? - You're the one who was 252 00:10:02,738 --> 00:10:04,738 complaining all day about fucking Christmas this, 253 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,196 Christmas that, oh, I fucking hate Christmas. 254 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,841 Well, Christmas fucking sucks. 255 00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:10,393 Do you not agree that there's no good fucking Christmas music, 256 00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:12,669 - no good Christmas movies. - Bad religion had 257 00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:14,817 - a great Christmas album. - Just fucking get it over with. 258 00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:16,739 - Eh. - It was good. 259 00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:19,635 There aren't many albums that give me that spirit 260 00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:20,980 of fucking Christmas. 261 00:10:21,015 --> 00:10:22,808 Well, bad fuckin' religion, ain't it, buddy. 262 00:10:22,842 --> 00:10:24,463 Give me that. 263 00:10:24,497 --> 00:10:30,290 I would go as far to say there's like fucking two... 264 00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,187 Two Christmas songs that are good, 265 00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:35,671 and that's if you don't count, if and only if, you don't count 266 00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:37,705 fucking crypt keeper "Christmas rap." 267 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,257 Okay, love "tales from the crypt." 268 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:41,257 That song sucks the fucking shit out of my ass. 269 00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:44,843 This is coming from a guy who jizzes his fucking pants 270 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:48,981 every single time he hears buster Poindexter's cover of 271 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,947 "zat you, Santa claus?" 272 00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,854 Robbie: No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that cover. 273 00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:54,465 I like the version with the commentary 274 00:10:54,499 --> 00:10:56,327 from beavis and butthead. 275 00:10:56,361 --> 00:10:58,499 - Okay. - Okay. 276 00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,223 "Merry Christmas", ramones, then. 277 00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:02,499 That's mine. What's your big fucking runner up? 278 00:11:02,534 --> 00:11:07,534 Uh, sorry to say, but "merry Christmas", ramones, 279 00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:09,327 that's a fucking runner up. 280 00:11:09,361 --> 00:11:10,499 - Yeah. - Fuck you. 281 00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:11,775 - First place... - Fuck you. 282 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,431 First place is our lord and savior lemmy 283 00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:15,673 with "run Rudolph run." Oh, it's magic! 284 00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:17,373 Robbie: Okay. It's not like it's motorhead. 285 00:11:17,397 --> 00:11:18,821 It's lemmy with the fucking Foo Fighters. 286 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,983 - Oh, r.I.P. - Oh, r.I.P. 287 00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:23,362 Also lemmy is fucking motorhead, you idiot. 288 00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:24,431 Yeah. 289 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,673 Hey! 290 00:11:25,707 --> 00:11:28,397 Lahna! 291 00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:29,845 She knows you're coming, right? 292 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,777 Yeah, of course she knows I'm fucking coming. 293 00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:33,329 Oh. 294 00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:35,225 - Hey, bitch. - Hi! 295 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,674 Mwah! You look so good. 296 00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:37,719 - Thank you. - Hey, gorgeous. 297 00:11:37,743 --> 00:11:39,432 - Mwah. - Mwah. 298 00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,812 I brought you and Jay a little something, something. 299 00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:44,432 Ooh, I got you this. 300 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,684 Oh, my god. I love you so much. 301 00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:47,536 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 302 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:48,881 Tori: Where's Jay? 303 00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,916 He's in the back, freshening up. 304 00:11:50,951 --> 00:11:53,675 You know, he just gets a little musty. 305 00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:55,744 He gets a little musty? 306 00:11:55,778 --> 00:11:57,340 - You got a lot going on. - Musty she says. 307 00:11:57,364 --> 00:11:58,892 Lahna: Yeah, you know all about that, right? 308 00:11:58,916 --> 00:11:59,961 - No, I do. - You know all about that? 309 00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:01,571 - Baby. - Yeah. 310 00:12:01,606 --> 00:12:02,789 You know all about a little musty must? 311 00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:04,468 I got a stinky dick. 312 00:12:04,502 --> 00:12:06,709 - That's so fucked up. - Cute, right? 313 00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:08,192 - Bitch. - Yeah? 314 00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:09,813 You already cracked this open. 315 00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:12,538 We may have had, like, like a couple of drinks. 316 00:12:12,572 --> 00:12:15,883 This is the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 317 00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:18,193 I know. I know. It's very nice. And listen. 318 00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:19,859 Because we love you. We didn't buy it for you. 319 00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:21,986 We're giving it to you. 320 00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:24,572 - Well, merry fucking Christmas. - Merry fucking Christmas. 321 00:12:24,607 --> 00:12:27,469 - Baby! - On it. Jesus Christ! 322 00:12:27,503 --> 00:12:28,676 - Hey! - This motherfucker. 323 00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,918 I haven't seen you in so long. 324 00:12:29,953 --> 00:12:31,608 - How are you? - Oh, yeah. Right? 325 00:12:31,642 --> 00:12:33,263 - How are you? - Hey, bro. 326 00:12:33,297 --> 00:12:34,618 - Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 327 00:12:34,642 --> 00:12:36,228 - You look good. - Thank you. 328 00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:37,791 - Yeah, you do. - I've been doing nothing but 329 00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:40,435 selling toys and fucking living the clean life. 330 00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,194 Keep up. 331 00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:45,332 Oh! Um, what's up with you two? What's going on here? 332 00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,308 - Uh, just grabbing a drink. - Just grabbing a drink. 333 00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:48,792 I had to talk her out of some tinder trash. 334 00:12:48,816 --> 00:12:50,264 You didn't talk me out of anything. 335 00:12:50,298 --> 00:12:51,550 What was his name? Emmett... Emmett... 336 00:12:51,574 --> 00:12:52,895 - We don't have to talk... - Emmett! Oh, shit! 337 00:12:52,919 --> 00:12:54,436 Tori: No, I think we're ignoring that. 338 00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:55,723 Motherfuckin' four-kid Emmett. Four kid Emmett? 339 00:12:55,747 --> 00:12:57,298 - No. - Nearly five kid Emmett. 340 00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:58,585 Four kid Emmett. Why does everybody know Emmett 341 00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,264 - except for me? - He's got four kids. 342 00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:02,195 - All right. Well, cheers. Yeah. - No, no, no. 343 00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:03,792 What was the song? What was the song? It was... 344 00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,333 We don't need the song. 345 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,196 ♪ And her heart whispers in my head ♪ 346 00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:09,758 - Alright, fuckers. - Go for it, tap on in. 347 00:13:09,782 --> 00:13:10,989 ♪ Because she's half dead 348 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,851 - Tori! - No, no, no, no. 349 00:13:12,886 --> 00:13:14,575 Come back, come back, come back, come back. 350 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:15,965 - Come back, come back. - Alright, you guys, I'm back. 351 00:13:15,989 --> 00:13:17,517 - It's a catchy song. - It's a good song. 352 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:18,586 It's the feel good hit of the winter. 353 00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,713 - Okay, cheers. - Cheers. 354 00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,403 - To Christmas! - To Christmas! 355 00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:23,265 - Bah humbug. - Bah humbug. 356 00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:24,472 Santa: Ho, ho, ho. 357 00:13:24,506 --> 00:13:26,335 Come sit on Santa's lap 358 00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,680 and tell him what you want for Christmas. 359 00:13:28,714 --> 00:13:30,369 Ugh! 360 00:13:30,404 --> 00:13:33,680 - I fucking hate that. - No, they all get recalled. 361 00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,783 Priest said that to me when I was a young boy. 362 00:13:35,818 --> 00:13:38,887 Are you okay? You're not fucking okay. 363 00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,645 - No, I'm not well. - It's so bad. 364 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,542 Thank god they're taking it out on Friday. 365 00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,621 Has he ever come to life while you guys were fucking? 366 00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:45,922 Oh, he joins. 367 00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:47,370 -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 368 00:13:47,405 --> 00:13:48,922 - He's anatomical. - Oh, really? 369 00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:50,750 - Big bad Santa. - Okay. 370 00:13:50,784 --> 00:13:53,267 - Big Santa. - But I am hoping that they 371 00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:54,346 leave behind this aspect of it. 372 00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,439 Tori: What? 373 00:13:56,750 --> 00:14:00,888 - Oh! - Oh, baby, it's so romantic! 374 00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:03,370 Okay, we're getting the fuck out of here. 375 00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:04,554 This is too much Christmas for me. 376 00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,992 - Oh, no, no. - No, no, no, stay, stay. 377 00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:10,958 Stop! I fuckin'... that's a lot. That is a lot. 378 00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:13,785 It's really excessive. We're gonna have one drink and go. 379 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,475 - All right. Yeah, fine. - Fine. 380 00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:17,233 Jay: We could just... You guys hang out. 381 00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:18,865 - We could have some more drinks. - We're not going to hang out. 382 00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:20,416 - The four of us. - We're not gonna hang out. 383 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,968 - Santa, the anatomical Santa. - We're good. 384 00:14:21,992 --> 00:14:23,406 - Okay, alright. - Alright. 385 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,786 - Easy, tiger. - Alright. 386 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:26,372 - Cheers. - Cheers. 387 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,683 Fuck. Merry Christmas to a fuckin' day off. 388 00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:30,545 - Little bit of flavor in there. - Yeah. 389 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,717 - Mm. - Okay, I love you. 390 00:14:32,752 --> 00:14:34,545 Get the fuck out. I want to fuck my husband. 391 00:14:34,579 --> 00:14:35,855 - Mwah. - Merry Christmas. 392 00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:36,993 - Merry Christmas. - Bye. 393 00:14:37,028 --> 00:14:38,338 - See you. - See you. 394 00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:39,452 - See ya, bud. - All right. We're going. 395 00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:40,372 - Goodbye. - See ya. 396 00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:43,960 ♪ Oh, she's whispering in my head ♪ 397 00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:45,925 Fucking hate you guys! 398 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,856 ♪ I'm half deaf for you 399 00:14:47,891 --> 00:14:50,856 I'm stealing your candy. Thank you. 400 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,856 - Come on, let's go. - Ugh! 401 00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,408 Let's fucking go. 402 00:14:54,442 --> 00:14:55,822 - God! - Come on! 403 00:14:55,856 --> 00:14:57,925 Coming. I'm coming. 404 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:02,271 Santa: Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. 405 00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:09,788 Sowell robotic products' new animatronic 406 00:15:09,823 --> 00:15:11,823 state of the art Santa claus featured at our own 407 00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:13,971 t.w. Bonkers is now the subject of an international recall. 408 00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:15,833 There have been reports that some of the Santa units 409 00:15:15,857 --> 00:15:18,202 are reverting to their old defense department firmware. 410 00:15:18,236 --> 00:15:20,857 Thus far, most of the reports have been of harmless pranks. 411 00:15:20,892 --> 00:15:23,651 Fuck no! 412 00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:25,237 Larry, can you turn that shit off? 413 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,720 - That's so depressing. - Yeah. 414 00:15:26,755 --> 00:15:28,203 You guys want one more 415 00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:29,341 to close it out? 416 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,858 Yeah, we will. 417 00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:32,731 Can we get another round and a shot of whiskey, please? 418 00:15:32,755 --> 00:15:34,662 You're going to chase a shot of whiskey with more whiskey? 419 00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,651 I am. It's a holiday. That's what you do. 420 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,548 - This is true. - Thank you. 421 00:15:38,582 --> 00:15:41,342 Is this, uh, together? Or separate? 422 00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,825 Togeth... together. 423 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,307 It's on one bill. I got it. 424 00:15:45,342 --> 00:15:46,870 - Oh, la di da. - It's part of your bonus. 425 00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:49,514 Although I am a little disappointed. 426 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,825 He didn't even offer to pay for the fuckin' last... 427 00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,480 Excuse me, this is not a date, remember? 428 00:15:53,514 --> 00:15:55,652 Yeah, no, I fuckin' remember now. 429 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,204 Happy I didn't think otherwise. 430 00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:58,307 -Fun hangout -yeah. 431 00:15:58,342 --> 00:15:59,757 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 432 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,274 You think would have picked up the tab for, uh, 433 00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:05,274 doctor fuckin' Emmett eyeliner. 434 00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:06,860 Depends on how the night went. 435 00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:09,009 Probably would have forgotten his wallet or something. 436 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:11,826 Mnh-mnh. Did this dude fuck your mom or something? 437 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:14,481 Why the fuck... every single time you talk about him, 438 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,998 I'm like so close to forgetting him, 439 00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,446 and then you bring him up again. 440 00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:18,941 I'm just like, just like, it baffles me 441 00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:20,389 that you were going to let him, like, you know, 442 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,837 - stick his penis just... - Taint me? 443 00:16:21,861 --> 00:16:23,389 - Inside you. - He's gonna fuckin' taint me? 444 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:24,768 - He was gonna taint you. - Yeah, I'm horny, 445 00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:26,552 and it's a holiday. What am I supposed to do? 446 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,999 Do you want to go through... Larry, do you want to go through 447 00:16:29,034 --> 00:16:30,689 Robbie's list of prize catches? 448 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,240 - Not again. - 'Cause fuckin'... 449 00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:33,768 No, remember this? Remember rotten Rebecca? 450 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,251 The one that smelled like a fucking fish market. 451 00:16:35,275 --> 00:16:36,965 - Oh, god. - She was great. 452 00:16:36,999 --> 00:16:38,528 Yeah, had to walk out of the room every time... 453 00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:40,276 - Rotten Rebecca. - Every time she fucking 454 00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:41,345 walked in one. 455 00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:42,690 Oh, my god. 456 00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,345 That honestly made me want to throw up. 457 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,483 That was so gross. 458 00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:46,655 Who else? Come on. 459 00:16:46,690 --> 00:16:48,276 Do you want to talk about Tina? 460 00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,793 - Tina? - Googly eyed Tina? 461 00:16:50,828 --> 00:16:52,528 Do you want me to keep going? That's my point. 462 00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:54,011 - That was a condition. - Do you want me to keep going? 463 00:16:54,035 --> 00:16:55,724 - She couldn't help it. - Okay. 464 00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:58,277 - She's a beautiful woman. - Can you shut the fuck up? 465 00:16:58,311 --> 00:16:59,494 Jay: Okay, babe, no, seriously. 466 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,346 He's been her employee for years. 467 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:03,277 One, I think it's illegal if they fuck. 468 00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:05,898 And two, he'll never close the deal. 469 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,932 Lahna: She had that glow in her eyes. 470 00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:12,908 Jay: Okay, okay, fine. No, she fucking might have. 471 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,391 But he won't even come close to closing the deal. 472 00:17:14,415 --> 00:17:15,795 - What? - Not at all. 473 00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:18,657 Lahna: 1,000 percent they're fucking tonight. 474 00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:21,312 - Fuck that. - Unless Robbie's dick 475 00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:24,692 gets chopped up, they're gonna fuck tonight. 476 00:17:24,726 --> 00:17:27,002 Jay: What are you fuck... Fuck that. Okay. All right. 477 00:17:27,037 --> 00:17:28,588 - You want him bet? - Yeah. 478 00:17:29,864 --> 00:17:31,416 Jay: Okay, great, great, great, great. 479 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:32,702 Alright, how much you fucking want to bet then? 480 00:17:32,726 --> 00:17:33,978 Are you ever going to settle down, 481 00:17:34,002 --> 00:17:35,693 you know, chill the fuck out. 482 00:17:35,727 --> 00:17:36,693 Are you? 483 00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:38,313 - Yeah. - Yeah? 484 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,969 - Hopefully. - Oh, okay, great. 485 00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:41,841 Well, maybe I'll fucking settle down when I can find a man 486 00:17:41,865 --> 00:17:43,417 that can keep up with me. 487 00:17:43,451 --> 00:17:45,382 Do you know how hard it is being in a world 488 00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:48,865 surrounded by so many boys that can't handle a woman 489 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,210 who can out drink, out earn and out fuck them, 490 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:52,451 for the love of god? 491 00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:55,314 Do you know how many men cannot fuck? 492 00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:57,245 - There's a few. - No. 493 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,659 - And some can. - None of them know 494 00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:00,256 how to eat pussy. I'll tell you that right now. 495 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,556 - See, I beg to differ. - No. 496 00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:03,383 In fact, I would argue there are one, 497 00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:05,245 maybe two people in this general vicinity 498 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,901 who can do it with the ferocity of a fucking tyrannosaurus 499 00:18:07,935 --> 00:18:11,211 no, no. 500 00:18:11,245 --> 00:18:12,901 - Larry. - Larry. 501 00:18:12,936 --> 00:18:14,867 Can you please, for the love of god, 502 00:18:14,902 --> 00:18:16,798 give me one more round. 503 00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,464 Lahna: I'll be you 504 00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:23,798 that if they fuck, I'll make you a steak dinner. 505 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,453 - Really? - Yeah. 506 00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:28,591 Wearing nothing but an apron. 507 00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:33,316 Jay: If I lose? 508 00:18:33,351 --> 00:18:36,316 Lahna: Oh, when you lose, 509 00:18:36,351 --> 00:18:38,972 you have to eat my ass out on this throne. 510 00:18:39,006 --> 00:18:41,351 Jay: Well, why wait? Why don't I eat it fuckin' right now? 511 00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:42,834 Daddy's hungry. 512 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,213 Ah! Daddy! 513 00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:47,730 Oh! 514 00:18:47,765 --> 00:18:49,972 I can trace it back every fucking time. 515 00:18:50,006 --> 00:18:53,214 The second they cut their hair, they cut their worst record! 516 00:18:53,248 --> 00:18:56,283 Ah, it's just such an absurd claim. 517 00:18:56,317 --> 00:18:59,697 It isn't... it's a fucking absurdly correct claim. 518 00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,007 Is what it is. Okay? 519 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,938 Do you remember that fucking study I showed you? 520 00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:06,559 - Oh, yeah. The scientist one. - Yes, the fuckin' scientist one. 521 00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:09,214 The second that they cut the hair of 522 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,560 a native American person, they lost, like, 523 00:19:11,594 --> 00:19:13,353 - all sense of intuition. - Okay. 524 00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:14,812 - Like fucking all of it. - First off. 525 00:19:14,836 --> 00:19:16,663 - And it's really scary. - First off. 526 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,491 Whatever bullshit fucking blog you pulled that study off... 527 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,215 - A government study, dude. - Government. 528 00:19:21,249 --> 00:19:22,743 Has about as much merit as the fucking Reddit thread. 529 00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:24,594 - Okay. - Second off, second off, 530 00:19:24,629 --> 00:19:27,008 that has absolutely zero fucking merit when it comes to 531 00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:29,526 talking about somebody's actual musical ability. 532 00:19:29,561 --> 00:19:31,526 Okay. I'm going to go through the fucking list. 533 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,837 - Okay, do it. - Metallica. 534 00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,492 - Yeah? - Yeah. 535 00:19:34,526 --> 00:19:36,906 They cut their hair, the fuckers release "load." 536 00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:40,595 Yeah? Soundgarden. Cornell cuts his hair off. 537 00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:43,699 Opts for the Spencers gift tips with the frosted spikes, 538 00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:45,768 and then the motherfuckers release "superunknown"! 539 00:19:45,802 --> 00:19:48,734 - What is that?! - Boom! Boom right there, bitch! 540 00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:50,320 Voids your argument? Do you know why? 541 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,010 - Why? Tell me why. - 'Cause "superunknown", 542 00:19:54,045 --> 00:19:55,665 - peak soundgarden. - Oh, fuckin'... 543 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,848 - Are you kidding me? - Not one bad track on the album. 544 00:19:57,872 --> 00:19:59,572 Tori: Are you actually going to stop with the fucking 545 00:19:59,596 --> 00:20:01,251 Jesus Christ pose right now? 546 00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:02,838 What the fuck?! Are you serious?! 547 00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:04,907 Are you fuckin'... 548 00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:07,286 Are you fucking kidding me? 549 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,563 That's so fuckin' dumb, so fuckin' dumb. 550 00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,218 Let me guess. 551 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,528 You prefer you prefer, uh, you prefer Van hagar? 552 00:20:14,563 --> 00:20:18,597 "Prefer" is a strong word. They lost zero appeal 553 00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:20,011 when diamond Dave ducked out. 554 00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:22,632 - Oh! Really? - Yes, really. 555 00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:25,321 Because it's around that time that they got 556 00:20:25,356 --> 00:20:27,943 rid of their guitar god, and then replaced him 557 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,012 with a synth loving clone of said guitar god. 558 00:20:31,047 --> 00:20:33,322 Alright, get your ass off the bar, Robbie. 559 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,978 - Oh. - Hate to break up the party. 560 00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:36,978 I got four little diaper pissers at home. 561 00:20:37,012 --> 00:20:38,850 They're going to wake me up in four hours. Let's... 562 00:20:38,874 --> 00:20:40,564 Yes, thank you. 563 00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:42,702 I don't want to listen to this fucking guy anyway. 564 00:20:42,736 --> 00:20:44,495 - Sweet baby. Jesus. - Mm, got my card. 565 00:20:44,529 --> 00:20:47,599 Slow your roll, Larry. Got two more coming my way. 566 00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:50,220 - I'll pour you one. - Hands behind your back. 567 00:20:50,254 --> 00:20:52,668 - Hands behind my back? - You're lucky like you. 568 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,806 Yeah, and you're lucky I don't have health inspector 569 00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:55,875 shut this shit hole down. 570 00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:58,979 He's right. 571 00:20:59,013 --> 00:21:00,599 Is he right? 572 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,634 - And pour Tori and her new Beau. - Oh, thanks, man. 573 00:21:04,668 --> 00:21:08,290 One and one for yourself, Larry. 574 00:21:08,324 --> 00:21:10,600 I didn't know you two were a thing. 575 00:21:10,635 --> 00:21:11,738 - We're not. - Yet. 576 00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:13,807 Get fucked. 577 00:21:17,773 --> 00:21:19,600 Lahna: Ah, yeah! 578 00:21:45,395 --> 00:21:48,223 Monroe: The wife's back is with her family. 579 00:21:52,257 --> 00:21:56,257 So that's why I'm spending Christmas alone. 580 00:21:56,292 --> 00:21:58,602 Unless you count that fucking mutt 581 00:21:58,637 --> 00:21:59,982 that won't keep its trap shut. 582 00:22:00,016 --> 00:22:01,706 Why do you have a fucking dog then, man? 583 00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:03,672 You think I wanted that thing? 584 00:22:03,707 --> 00:22:06,465 - That's all Donna. - Okay. 585 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,948 That little son of a whore is like an angel around her. 586 00:22:08,983 --> 00:22:12,017 But with me, just me, it won't shut the fuck up 587 00:22:12,052 --> 00:22:14,569 because I won't spoil him, like Donna does. 588 00:22:14,603 --> 00:22:16,258 Just like with her old man. 589 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,303 Yeah, I think... I think it sounds like the dog just 590 00:22:18,327 --> 00:22:20,707 probably needs, like, some lovin' from daddy Monroe. 591 00:22:20,741 --> 00:22:22,673 - Like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 592 00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:25,639 I think the little bastard needs his balls clipped. 593 00:22:25,673 --> 00:22:27,604 - Hey, man. - Sure. 594 00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,363 Donna had me get my balls clipped 595 00:22:29,397 --> 00:22:33,294 - two days after Henry was born. - Jesus fucking Christ. 596 00:22:33,328 --> 00:22:38,397 You're gonna wake up a sleeping, junior. 597 00:22:38,432 --> 00:22:41,398 Well, uh, here, let's have a toast. 598 00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:43,916 I think you've had enough there, supercuts. 599 00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,640 Cheers. 600 00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:48,916 Cheers. 601 00:22:50,709 --> 00:22:54,398 Here, let me, uh, cover what these kids are drinking. 602 00:22:54,433 --> 00:22:57,571 - Oh, no, no, that's... - No, hey, hey, hey, hey. 603 00:22:57,605 --> 00:22:58,985 - You... - Thank you, chief. 604 00:22:59,019 --> 00:23:02,675 - Keep the rest for yourself. - Thank you. 605 00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,951 Monroe: Watch yourself with that one. 606 00:23:04,986 --> 00:23:06,434 Merry Christmas, sheriff. 607 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,675 Shit, that little punk motherfucker, 608 00:23:08,710 --> 00:23:10,606 wipe that smirk off... 609 00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,537 Mm. That sucked the fucking Christmas early. 610 00:23:13,572 --> 00:23:16,261 Robbie: God damn, what a sad fuckin' human being. 611 00:23:16,296 --> 00:23:19,400 Larry: You gonna be good to drive? 612 00:23:19,435 --> 00:23:20,952 Uh, no. 613 00:23:20,987 --> 00:23:23,400 I drove with Robbie... I fuckin' walked with Robbie. 614 00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:24,849 If I drove you, you'd be fucked. 615 00:23:24,883 --> 00:23:26,652 So much for drinking every guy under the table. 616 00:23:26,676 --> 00:23:30,711 Excuse me. You've got, like, at least five pounds on me. 617 00:23:30,745 --> 00:23:32,297 Soaking wet maybe. 618 00:23:32,331 --> 00:23:33,583 Larry: Get her home safe. Robbie. 619 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:35,228 What the fuck's that's supposed to mean? 620 00:23:35,262 --> 00:23:37,262 - It's a big world out there. - You get home safe. 621 00:23:37,297 --> 00:23:39,401 Better watch for your children. 622 00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:42,712 - I'm just kidding. - Sounded so threatening. 623 00:23:42,746 --> 00:23:45,195 - Good night. - Thank you, Larry. 624 00:23:47,746 --> 00:23:50,022 - Ugh. - Come on. 625 00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:54,505 Lahna: Yes! 626 00:23:55,746 --> 00:23:56,989 Jay: Oh, shit. 627 00:23:57,023 --> 00:23:58,747 Lahna: Not yet. 628 00:23:58,782 --> 00:24:00,299 Jay: It's coming early. 629 00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:01,299 Lahna: Hold it. No, baby, hold it. 630 00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:03,333 Hold it! You better not! 631 00:24:03,368 --> 00:24:04,713 Fuck! You better not! 632 00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,609 Ah! 633 00:24:08,264 --> 00:24:10,437 Like, what did he arrest you for? 634 00:24:10,471 --> 00:24:12,678 It was fucking... You were like... 635 00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:14,506 You were like pissing on a playground. 636 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,414 I didn't know the kid was going to show up like that. 637 00:24:16,438 --> 00:24:18,231 Oh, fuck, and the kid was his grandson. 638 00:24:18,265 --> 00:24:19,610 Yeah, I made him a man. 639 00:24:19,645 --> 00:24:21,241 That's fucked. You took that away from him. 640 00:24:21,265 --> 00:24:22,817 - I know. - You took it away him. 641 00:24:41,404 --> 00:24:44,508 Somebody help! 642 00:24:44,542 --> 00:24:45,863 Do you want to keep drinking, or...? 643 00:24:45,887 --> 00:24:48,991 I mean, yeah. What are you thinking? 644 00:24:49,025 --> 00:24:50,749 - What am I thinking? - Yeah. 645 00:25:07,647 --> 00:25:10,405 You can come over and kill that bottle with me. 646 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,785 - Really? - Yeah. 647 00:25:11,819 --> 00:25:13,267 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 648 00:25:13,302 --> 00:25:15,234 Come kill the fucking bottle. 649 00:25:15,268 --> 00:25:17,510 I said come over for a drink, not over for a fuck. 650 00:25:22,682 --> 00:25:25,162 Well, it sounds like someone's hankering for a little bit of... 651 00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:30,820 - You hear that? - Hear what? 652 00:25:41,063 --> 00:25:42,442 Yeah, dawg! 653 00:25:42,476 --> 00:25:44,683 Jay hitting that pipe. 654 00:25:44,718 --> 00:25:46,039 Yeah, he's hitting that fucking pipe. 655 00:25:46,063 --> 00:25:47,476 Speaking of, have you seen it? 656 00:25:47,511 --> 00:25:49,338 Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck. 657 00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:51,373 - It's fat. - Oh, he be gaping that shit 658 00:25:51,407 --> 00:25:52,995 for sure. 659 00:26:05,581 --> 00:26:07,305 How old are you, fuckin' 12? 660 00:26:07,339 --> 00:26:08,798 I can see you smoking that blunt from here! 661 00:26:08,822 --> 00:26:10,996 - I didn't fuckin' ask... - I said give it to me! 662 00:26:11,030 --> 00:26:13,685 I need to salvage this Lincoln log... 663 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,030 - No! - Before you run it into 664 00:26:16,065 --> 00:26:17,582 the fuckin' ground. 665 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,306 Yeah, I want to fuckin' salvage this thing. 666 00:26:23,340 --> 00:26:24,903 What are we watching when we get to yours, 667 00:26:24,927 --> 00:26:26,616 "a Christmas story"? 668 00:26:26,651 --> 00:26:28,420 What is your fucking obsession with "a Christmas story"? 669 00:26:28,444 --> 00:26:29,800 What's your issue with "a Christmas story"? 670 00:26:29,824 --> 00:26:31,352 You're the one that brought it up earlier. 671 00:26:31,376 --> 00:26:32,824 Everyone's obsessed with it. 672 00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:34,455 If you want to watch a Bob Clark Christmas movie 673 00:26:34,479 --> 00:26:36,962 will watch fucking "black Christmas." 674 00:26:36,997 --> 00:26:39,479 Oh, that... That blumhouse joint? 675 00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,962 I'm just going to drive myself home. 676 00:26:41,997 --> 00:26:43,800 No, no, no. You said we were going to my car... 677 00:26:43,824 --> 00:26:45,962 If you want to go home and fucking jerk off 678 00:26:45,997 --> 00:26:48,490 - to fucking blumhouse movies... - Get your fuckin' ass over here. 679 00:26:48,514 --> 00:26:50,560 Okay, but are you done spewing garbage out of your fuckin' 680 00:26:50,584 --> 00:26:51,929 - whore mouth? - Oh, there it is. 681 00:26:51,963 --> 00:26:53,756 There's your fuckin' Rhode Island accent. 682 00:26:53,791 --> 00:26:55,998 I maybe sound like I'm from Rhode Island, 683 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:58,722 but at least I don't have shit taste in movies, 684 00:26:58,756 --> 00:27:03,273 shit opinions on everything, and drive a fucking shit car. 685 00:27:03,308 --> 00:27:04,767 Robbie: Uh, excuse me, this is basically 686 00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,239 the same as your fucking car. 687 00:27:06,273 --> 00:27:07,422 Don't say that about her. She's beautiful. 688 00:27:07,446 --> 00:27:08,999 - Also... - I get her first. 689 00:27:09,033 --> 00:27:10,699 Robbie: My lady. My lady. You got to get in on this side. 690 00:27:10,723 --> 00:27:12,481 You haven't got this fucking car fixed yet? 691 00:27:12,516 --> 00:27:13,861 Robbie: With what you pay me, 692 00:27:13,895 --> 00:27:16,378 you think I can afford a fucking door? 693 00:27:16,412 --> 00:27:18,240 What are you doing with your paychecks? 694 00:27:18,274 --> 00:27:19,733 - This is... - My minimum, my minimum... 695 00:27:19,757 --> 00:27:21,240 That's embarrassing. 696 00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:22,595 Robbie: My minimum fucking wage paycheck. 697 00:27:22,619 --> 00:27:24,009 Yeah, your minimum fucking wage paycheck. 698 00:27:24,033 --> 00:27:25,309 - Get it. - That should be 699 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,275 - a fucking priority. - Please. 700 00:27:27,310 --> 00:27:28,758 - Wow. - Lady. 701 00:27:28,793 --> 00:27:31,310 No, I changed my fucking mind. I changed my mind. 702 00:27:31,344 --> 00:27:32,872 Hop in, hot shot. We got fucking whiskey waiting. 703 00:27:32,896 --> 00:27:34,448 - Get in. - Oh, whiskey you say? 704 00:27:34,482 --> 00:27:35,689 - Yes. - Okay, in that case, 705 00:27:35,724 --> 00:27:37,551 - shut your fucking mouth. - Oh, this mouth. 706 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:39,793 This fucking whore mouth and that devil's tongue, baby. 707 00:27:39,827 --> 00:27:43,517 - Ew, shut the... Robbie. - Come on, what? 708 00:27:43,551 --> 00:27:44,976 - This is a... - Get your fuckin' ass in. 709 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,035 Don't touch my fuckin' ass. 710 00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,863 She got a bit of a fight in her. All right. 711 00:27:48,897 --> 00:27:52,311 - Call fucking H.R. - I'll give you space. 712 00:27:52,345 --> 00:27:53,863 No wonder you don't get fuckin' laid. 713 00:27:55,621 --> 00:27:57,966 - Look at this. - What? 714 00:27:58,001 --> 00:27:59,552 No wonder you don't get fucking laid. 715 00:27:59,587 --> 00:28:01,690 - This is disgusting. - It adds to the flavor. 716 00:28:01,725 --> 00:28:04,966 Adds to the flavor of what? A fucking chicken Coop. 717 00:28:05,001 --> 00:28:07,691 This is fucked up. 718 00:28:07,726 --> 00:28:09,840 Some empty cans and bottles. That's Tori tooms' break? 719 00:28:09,864 --> 00:28:11,726 No, but it's the nail in the fucking coffin 720 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,484 because this is really bad. 721 00:28:13,519 --> 00:28:15,691 - Come on, baby. - How do you live like this? 722 00:28:15,726 --> 00:28:17,588 - Let's cowboy up. - Just take my car. 723 00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:20,346 Just take my fucking card. 724 00:28:20,381 --> 00:28:22,312 You just got to be patient with her. 725 00:28:22,346 --> 00:28:24,934 I'm gonna lose my buzz. 726 00:28:28,037 --> 00:28:29,830 - Hey! - Oh, god. 727 00:28:29,865 --> 00:28:32,761 - Jesus. - Feel that between my pants. 728 00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:34,875 We're going to have to roll this up the hill ourselves. 729 00:28:34,899 --> 00:28:37,485 - Alright. - Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ. 730 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,796 I don't feel safe. What are you... okay. 731 00:28:39,830 --> 00:28:41,727 She's road worthy. Don't even worry about it. 732 00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:45,004 Tori: Okay! Here we go. 733 00:29:08,798 --> 00:29:11,798 Oh, if this guy parks his fucking ranchero here 734 00:29:11,832 --> 00:29:13,556 one more time, I'm going to total it, 735 00:29:13,591 --> 00:29:15,556 smash out his fucking windows. 736 00:29:15,591 --> 00:29:17,418 Robbie: Little harsh to the griswolds. 737 00:29:17,453 --> 00:29:19,050 Tori: No, it's boozin' Benny down at the bottom of the hill. 738 00:29:19,074 --> 00:29:21,005 - He's a fucking alcoholic. - Boozin' Benny. 739 00:29:21,039 --> 00:29:22,695 Tori: Just pull up behind my sister's car. 740 00:29:22,730 --> 00:29:24,316 Robbie: Wait. Your sister is here? 741 00:29:24,350 --> 00:29:25,878 Tori: Do you not listen to a fucking thing I say? 742 00:29:25,902 --> 00:29:27,775 Robbie: Well, I mean, I listen, but I don't retain. 743 00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:29,799 Tori: Yeah, well, I don't want to retain the stink 744 00:29:29,833 --> 00:29:31,971 from this fucking chicken Coop, so get out. 745 00:29:32,006 --> 00:29:33,661 Come on, let's go drink. 746 00:29:33,695 --> 00:29:36,385 - Beautiful. - Oh, Jesus. 747 00:29:36,419 --> 00:29:38,592 - All right, my lady. - Listen, I really can't... 748 00:29:38,626 --> 00:29:40,799 Please exit your chariot. 749 00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,696 I honestly... i'm... whoa. 750 00:29:42,731 --> 00:29:44,662 I'm too drunk for this. Jesus. 751 00:29:44,696 --> 00:29:46,834 Walk carefully, please. Thank you. 752 00:29:46,869 --> 00:29:49,869 And treat her with respect and dignity. 753 00:29:55,696 --> 00:29:57,455 Uh, welcome to my humble abode. 754 00:29:57,489 --> 00:29:59,041 Yeah, it's cute. It's uh... 755 00:29:59,076 --> 00:30:01,525 Charming, classy, cute. I know. 756 00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:03,042 - Yeah, sure. - Extravagant. 757 00:30:03,077 --> 00:30:04,663 - Rustic. - Yeah. 758 00:30:04,697 --> 00:30:07,249 Humble. Barn-like. 759 00:30:07,283 --> 00:30:09,732 I really hope we don't take my sister out because 760 00:30:09,766 --> 00:30:12,594 I don't want to have to awkwardly introduce you. 761 00:30:12,628 --> 00:30:15,697 Wait, so are we drinking alone tonight, or what? 762 00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,697 Robbie, do not fucking listen to me? 763 00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:19,008 They're out cold. 764 00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:20,733 Out cold already? It's not even midnight. 765 00:30:20,767 --> 00:30:22,985 Plus, my lame ass brother in law doesn't even drink, so... 766 00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:26,767 Oh, that fucking cunt Mike. Yeah? 767 00:30:26,802 --> 00:30:29,422 Mr. Hollywood? Yeah. 768 00:30:33,043 --> 00:30:37,353 These goddamn neighbors and their fucking obnoxious lights. 769 00:30:37,388 --> 00:30:39,837 Hey, Tori. 770 00:30:39,872 --> 00:30:42,837 How much music was there in "unsolved mysteries"? 771 00:30:42,872 --> 00:30:44,768 - What? - I mean, like, I don't... 772 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,537 I don't want to... I don't want to scare you, 773 00:30:46,561 --> 00:30:49,423 like, in your own home, but there's like six hours 774 00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:51,055 worth of the "unsolved mysteries" soundtrack? 775 00:30:51,079 --> 00:30:54,251 What the fuck is your problem with "unsolved mysteries"? 776 00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:56,354 I mean, like, 30 second intro, and then, like, 777 00:30:56,389 --> 00:30:57,838 do you need six hours? 778 00:30:57,873 --> 00:30:59,666 Tori: Have you heard it? 779 00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:02,804 No, not the entire fucking expanse of isolated soundtrack. 780 00:31:02,838 --> 00:31:05,700 Oh, well, it is the fucking creepiest goddamn synth pads 781 00:31:05,735 --> 00:31:08,321 you will ever hear in your fucking life. 782 00:31:08,355 --> 00:31:10,252 - Mm-hmm. Right. - They're amazing. Put it on. 783 00:31:10,286 --> 00:31:12,262 Yeah, okay. No, I've already got something queued up. 784 00:31:12,286 --> 00:31:13,814 No, put it on. I want you to get like soaked up and like 785 00:31:13,838 --> 00:31:15,021 - immersed in it. - No, no, no, I'm good. 786 00:31:15,045 --> 00:31:16,805 - I'm good. - It's so good. Please. 787 00:31:16,839 --> 00:31:18,643 Robbie. All right, fine. At least I know it won't be "load." 788 00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:21,563 - Oh, I know. I already looked. - Oh, did you? 789 00:31:21,598 --> 00:31:25,253 Of course. Oh, come on, Robbie. 790 00:31:25,287 --> 00:31:28,322 "Rhythms from a cosmic sky" is, like, at least four times... 791 00:31:28,356 --> 00:31:29,908 Oh, you're the worst fuckin' opinion. 792 00:31:29,943 --> 00:31:31,953 No, everybody knows that. What are you talking about? 793 00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:33,770 Uh, it's in your collection. 794 00:31:33,805 --> 00:31:34,953 Yeah, because I'm a completist. Thank you. 795 00:31:34,977 --> 00:31:37,357 - Not for metallica. - Shut up. 796 00:31:37,392 --> 00:31:40,840 Follow... get that fucking thing away from me. 797 00:31:40,875 --> 00:31:43,564 Okay. 798 00:31:43,599 --> 00:31:45,909 I'm weirdly turned on by this. 799 00:31:45,944 --> 00:31:48,013 - Really? - But I need you to stop. 800 00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:08,565 Man: Hey, Freddy. Buddy, let's not open gifts. 801 00:32:10,324 --> 00:32:11,738 There's absolutely no fucking way 802 00:32:11,772 --> 00:32:13,024 that you actually think that "pet sematary 2" 803 00:32:13,048 --> 00:32:14,739 is better than the fucking first one! 804 00:32:14,773 --> 00:32:17,394 It's twice is good, if not fucking three times, okay? 805 00:32:17,428 --> 00:32:20,877 It's good. Not better. Not better. No. 806 00:32:20,911 --> 00:32:23,704 Edward furlong, Clancy fucking brown. 807 00:32:23,739 --> 00:32:26,635 Who, by the way, chews up scenery like it's a piece of 808 00:32:26,670 --> 00:32:28,946 fucking gum, and that soundtrack. 809 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:31,463 They've got 12 tracks of female fronted 810 00:32:31,497 --> 00:32:35,291 fucking aggressive as hell, early '90s grunge! 811 00:32:35,326 --> 00:32:37,061 Traci lords has three goddamn songs on the album, 812 00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:38,809 and they're fucking good, they're so good. 813 00:32:38,843 --> 00:32:41,291 So, you think it's better because Traci lords, porn star, 814 00:32:41,326 --> 00:32:45,360 fucking superstar, big titty Traci lords has, what, like, 815 00:32:45,395 --> 00:32:47,395 fuckin' two tracks on the album. 816 00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,602 No, three, by the way, and better story. 817 00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:53,603 Better music, obviously. Better kills. 818 00:32:53,637 --> 00:32:57,844 Better makeup, better fucking cast and... 819 00:32:57,879 --> 00:33:01,775 Lord Gwynn aside, I will say, you got me there. 820 00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:04,361 But Mary lambert, she was finally given free reign. 821 00:33:04,396 --> 00:33:05,924 - Yeah, that was a mistake. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 822 00:33:05,948 --> 00:33:07,741 - What the fuck are you doing? - What? 823 00:33:07,775 --> 00:33:10,637 What fucking neanderthal puts salsa on nachos 824 00:33:10,672 --> 00:33:12,604 - before they cook them? - Me. 825 00:33:12,638 --> 00:33:15,431 Man: Freddy, put it away and get to bed. 826 00:33:20,673 --> 00:33:22,742 - "Elm street." - Part 6, "Freddy's dead." 827 00:33:22,776 --> 00:33:24,673 - Come the fuck on. - Yeah. 828 00:33:24,707 --> 00:33:26,880 Whoa! Hellraiser? 829 00:33:26,914 --> 00:33:28,569 - "Hell on earth." - Child's play? 830 00:33:28,604 --> 00:33:30,294 - 2. - Alien? 831 00:33:30,329 --> 00:33:33,432 - "Covenant." - oh, no, no, no. 832 00:33:33,467 --> 00:33:35,846 - Yes. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, 833 00:33:35,881 --> 00:33:39,777 - okay, okay, okay, okay. - Okay. 834 00:33:39,812 --> 00:33:41,053 Blair witch? 835 00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:43,570 -Book of motherfucking shadows", bitch? 836 00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,650 It's a fucking classic, and you're going to watch it, 837 00:33:45,674 --> 00:33:48,777 and you'll... stop. You'll get it. I promise. 838 00:33:48,812 --> 00:33:50,606 Do you use your little fucking fingers, like, 839 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,030 typing on the keyboard, and you're like, 840 00:33:52,054 --> 00:33:53,468 "oh, like Reddit, Reddit thread." 841 00:33:53,502 --> 00:33:54,951 -Shut the fuck up. No, no, I am like, 842 00:33:54,985 --> 00:33:56,847 I am a gal with fucking strong opinions. 843 00:33:56,882 --> 00:33:58,468 And now we're going to take a shot to 844 00:33:58,502 --> 00:33:59,651 "book of" motherfuckin' "shadows" 845 00:33:59,675 --> 00:34:01,606 because it's so good. 846 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,537 Ah. 847 00:34:33,332 --> 00:34:34,849 Oh, fuck. 848 00:34:45,918 --> 00:34:47,471 Jesus. 849 00:34:57,540 --> 00:34:59,367 Man: Freddy, that better not be you. 850 00:34:59,402 --> 00:35:02,023 If you're opening those gifts, I swear to god. 851 00:35:05,712 --> 00:35:08,575 Hey, you know what happens if I come down there. 852 00:35:17,299 --> 00:35:18,713 Oh! 853 00:35:18,748 --> 00:35:20,541 Oh, my god. 854 00:35:20,575 --> 00:35:22,679 Robbie: Sorry, sorry. 855 00:35:23,506 --> 00:35:25,818 Fuck it. 856 00:35:27,335 --> 00:35:31,507 Man: Freddy? Freddy, is that you, buddy? 857 00:35:31,542 --> 00:35:33,990 Said we weren't gonna open or touch any of these gifts 858 00:35:34,025 --> 00:35:35,783 till Santa got... 859 00:35:40,335 --> 00:35:43,438 Get the fuck out of my house. I'm calling the cops right now. 860 00:35:43,473 --> 00:35:45,370 Oh, shit! 861 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:56,715 Wait. 862 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,440 Oh, king shit. 863 00:38:20,585 --> 00:38:22,551 Frankie, what was... 864 00:38:33,827 --> 00:38:35,034 Frankie! 865 00:38:39,897 --> 00:38:42,483 Oh, what the fuck? 866 00:38:44,379 --> 00:38:45,517 That was... 867 00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,483 Unexpected. 868 00:38:49,517 --> 00:38:51,862 Too bad find out about that earlier. 869 00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:54,242 Yeah, it's too bad. 870 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,725 This thing is usda approved organic prime man meat. 871 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,829 Sorry, are you asking me to peg you? 872 00:39:12,863 --> 00:39:16,002 I'm not asking. I'm inviting. 873 00:39:16,037 --> 00:39:18,485 Please, sir, may I have a hit? 874 00:39:25,347 --> 00:39:27,554 No! Pl... aah! 875 00:39:28,761 --> 00:39:31,416 Tori: I'm gonna get some more whiskey, flip the record. 876 00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:33,865 Come back up. Don't fucking move. 877 00:39:41,831 --> 00:39:44,555 Boy: Mom? 878 00:39:47,107 --> 00:39:48,865 Mommy? 879 00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,865 You okay? 880 00:39:57,901 --> 00:40:00,004 Santa? 881 00:40:00,039 --> 00:40:01,832 Where's mommy? 882 00:40:06,314 --> 00:40:09,349 Did you bring me any good presents? 883 00:40:09,383 --> 00:40:11,004 You did! 884 00:40:50,524 --> 00:40:52,800 Oh. Fuck, fuck! 885 00:40:52,835 --> 00:40:54,973 Fuck me. 886 00:40:55,007 --> 00:40:56,766 Damn it. 887 00:40:58,421 --> 00:41:00,042 Jesus. 888 00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:04,731 That's fucked. 889 00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,801 Not stupid clothes again. 890 00:41:29,630 --> 00:41:31,664 Why are you so bloody? 891 00:41:32,802 --> 00:41:34,733 Mommy? 892 00:41:38,078 --> 00:41:40,285 Mom! 893 00:41:47,631 --> 00:41:49,665 - Oh, fuck! - What? 894 00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:51,045 - This guy... - Tori! 895 00:41:51,079 --> 00:41:53,355 I think he maybe just killed the kid next door. 896 00:41:53,389 --> 00:41:54,941 What the hell are you talking about? 897 00:41:54,976 --> 00:41:57,596 Oh, fuck. 898 00:42:03,010 --> 00:42:05,355 Oh, fuck! 899 00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:07,563 Call the fucking cops now. Come on. 900 00:42:07,597 --> 00:42:10,494 Fuck. Have you seen my phone? Fuck! Get my phone! 901 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:13,046 - It's upstairs. - Shit. Is your phone down here? 902 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,735 Robbie, go! Find a phone! 903 00:42:27,426 --> 00:42:29,840 Robbie? He's gone. 904 00:42:29,874 --> 00:42:31,047 Robbie: What? 905 00:42:31,081 --> 00:42:32,736 Robbie, he's fucking gone. 906 00:42:32,771 --> 00:42:34,736 He saw us. The fucker's gonna come over here. 907 00:42:34,771 --> 00:42:36,023 Find a phone and get the fuck out. 908 00:42:36,047 --> 00:42:37,805 I have to get my sister. 909 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,564 Liddy, Mike, wake the fuck up. Get your asses out of bed. 910 00:42:40,598 --> 00:42:42,322 There's no time to explain. Come on, we... 911 00:42:42,357 --> 00:42:43,816 - Come on. We have to go. - What is going on? 912 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,461 Uh, uh, where's your phone? 913 00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,565 It's up there. There weren't any outlets. 914 00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:49,323 Okay. Get out of bed. Put your shoes on. 915 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,841 Put your shoes on now. Come on. 916 00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:52,737 Mike, get the fuck up. I'm trying to help you. 917 00:42:52,772 --> 00:42:54,403 - Alright, alright. - Does it look like I'm joking? 918 00:42:54,427 --> 00:42:56,392 You fucking idiot! Get out of bed! 919 00:42:58,737 --> 00:42:59,989 All right, come on, move it. You should go. 920 00:43:00,013 --> 00:43:02,289 No, you go. Mike, get the fuck out. 921 00:43:02,323 --> 00:43:03,358 - Alright. - Go! 922 00:43:03,392 --> 00:43:05,600 Fuck you, go. 923 00:43:05,635 --> 00:43:06,990 Robbie: I have no idea what the fuck my phone is. 924 00:43:07,014 --> 00:43:08,807 Shut up. Shut the fuck up. 925 00:43:14,083 --> 00:43:16,359 Where are you keys? 926 00:43:16,393 --> 00:43:17,842 I don't know. 927 00:43:17,876 --> 00:43:19,680 I must have left them in the truck or something. 928 00:43:19,704 --> 00:43:21,438 Well, if they're not in the fucking truck, where are they? 929 00:43:21,462 --> 00:43:22,981 I don't fucking know, do I? 930 00:43:23,015 --> 00:43:25,026 Liddy, do you have your keys? Your fucking keys, liddy? 931 00:43:25,050 --> 00:43:27,084 - Where are they? - Get the keys. 932 00:43:27,119 --> 00:43:28,853 The keys? What do you want with the fuckin'... 933 00:43:28,877 --> 00:43:30,463 Shut the fuck up, you cunt. 934 00:43:30,498 --> 00:43:32,325 Okay. Do you want me to get the keys or not? 935 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,474 - Yes. - Fine. I'll get the keys. 936 00:43:33,498 --> 00:43:35,050 Jesus. 937 00:43:39,636 --> 00:43:41,844 Did anybody see where he went? 938 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,982 Okay. 939 00:43:47,016 --> 00:43:49,499 Okay, okay, okay. 940 00:43:49,533 --> 00:43:51,326 We're going to go to the basement. 941 00:43:51,361 --> 00:43:53,096 - What if it's in the basement? - Then we don't have 942 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,361 anywhere to go, do we? 943 00:43:56,395 --> 00:43:57,775 Okay, hang on. 944 00:44:01,431 --> 00:44:02,510 Mike: All right, I got the keys. 945 00:44:02,534 --> 00:44:03,914 - Shh! - Look, I didn't even 946 00:44:03,948 --> 00:44:05,396 want to come here in the first... 947 00:44:05,431 --> 00:44:07,052 Shut the fuck up, Mike. Shut the fuck up. 948 00:45:20,711 --> 00:45:22,607 Get up! 949 00:45:24,090 --> 00:45:26,090 Run! 950 00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,745 Get out! 951 00:45:34,711 --> 00:45:38,022 Tori: Go! Fucking! Go! 952 00:45:40,574 --> 00:45:42,022 Liddy! 953 00:45:42,057 --> 00:45:45,815 Get... fuck! Shit! 954 00:45:46,815 --> 00:45:47,988 No! 955 00:45:48,022 --> 00:45:50,677 No! Please! 956 00:45:50,712 --> 00:45:53,264 No! Please! No! 957 00:46:00,989 --> 00:46:02,851 Hey, hey, you got to get in, you got to get in, 958 00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,999 you got to get in, you got to get in, 959 00:46:04,023 --> 00:46:05,644 hey, she's not coming? Okay. 960 00:46:05,678 --> 00:46:07,413 - I need my sister... - Listen to me. Listen to me. 961 00:46:07,437 --> 00:46:09,309 Listen to me, listen. Okay, she's not coming, okay? 962 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,068 You've got to get in the car. Okay? For me. Please. 963 00:46:11,092 --> 00:46:12,989 Please, please, please, please, please. 964 00:46:13,023 --> 00:46:14,783 Yeah, okay, come on. Yeah. 965 00:46:14,817 --> 00:46:17,507 Get up, come on. Just get in there. 966 00:46:17,541 --> 00:46:19,024 Yeah, okay, get in there. 967 00:46:19,059 --> 00:46:20,931 I need liddy here right now. 968 00:46:20,955 --> 00:46:22,059 - I need liddy here. - Hey. 969 00:46:22,093 --> 00:46:25,610 - Come on, Robbie! - Come on! 970 00:46:25,645 --> 00:46:28,645 Fuck you! Fuck! 971 00:46:30,990 --> 00:46:33,887 Go, Robbie, come on. 972 00:46:39,508 --> 00:46:41,784 Robbie! Robbie! 973 00:46:44,646 --> 00:46:48,577 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 974 00:46:48,611 --> 00:46:49,853 Are you all right? 975 00:46:49,887 --> 00:46:51,646 - Yeah. - Okay. Well, we got to... 976 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,795 We got to go. We got to go because he's gonna come back. 977 00:46:53,819 --> 00:46:55,578 Come on! 978 00:46:55,612 --> 00:46:58,474 - Fuck! It's stuck. - Try going forward. 979 00:46:58,509 --> 00:46:59,923 Man: What the fuck?! 980 00:46:59,957 --> 00:47:02,371 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 981 00:47:02,405 --> 00:47:04,061 Totaled by fuckin' ranchero! 982 00:47:04,095 --> 00:47:05,543 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 983 00:47:06,612 --> 00:47:07,716 - Come on. - Fuck! 984 00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:09,371 You fucking cocksuckers! 985 00:47:09,405 --> 00:47:11,302 - Hey. - B, hey, hey. 986 00:47:11,336 --> 00:47:12,889 Get the fuck out of the car. 987 00:47:12,924 --> 00:47:15,003 Tori: I can't get out of the fucking car. Listen to me. 988 00:47:15,027 --> 00:47:17,682 What is with this door? Hey, you two bit fuckin' scumbag, 989 00:47:17,717 --> 00:47:20,303 get the fuck out of the car. Come on. 990 00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:21,855 - Oh, what the fuck? - Fuck! 991 00:47:21,889 --> 00:47:23,406 Get out of the fucking car! 992 00:47:23,441 --> 00:47:25,038 Oh, look, the paint's all fucked up, man! 993 00:47:25,062 --> 00:47:27,337 I just got this detailed! 994 00:47:27,372 --> 00:47:30,406 I'm calling the fuckin' cops on your ass, Tori. 995 00:47:30,441 --> 00:47:31,752 - Hello? - Go now. 996 00:47:31,787 --> 00:47:33,442 - 246... - Fuck. He's coming. 997 00:47:33,476 --> 00:47:34,659 He's right there! Hey! 998 00:47:34,683 --> 00:47:36,476 He can't fucking hear you because... 999 00:47:36,511 --> 00:47:38,821 - Hey, behind you! - Hey, behind you! 1000 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:41,545 - Behind you! - No, no, no, no! 1001 00:47:41,580 --> 00:47:42,890 No! 1002 00:47:42,925 --> 00:47:45,063 Stop fucking honking! 1003 00:47:45,097 --> 00:47:46,649 Oh! 1004 00:47:48,580 --> 00:47:49,994 Okay, go. 1005 00:47:50,028 --> 00:47:52,477 Go, come on, let's go! 1006 00:47:52,512 --> 00:47:55,719 Robbie: I'm trying! 1007 00:47:56,857 --> 00:47:58,512 Oh, oh! 1008 00:48:01,995 --> 00:48:04,271 Okay, okay! Fucking drive! 1009 00:48:21,409 --> 00:48:23,375 No! No! No! 1010 00:48:24,065 --> 00:48:25,892 No! 1011 00:48:25,927 --> 00:48:29,100 Fucker! Robbie! No, fuck off! 1012 00:48:29,135 --> 00:48:30,859 Robbie! 1013 00:48:30,893 --> 00:48:34,376 No! No! Robbie! No! 1014 00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:37,031 Oh, fuck! 1015 00:48:37,066 --> 00:48:39,686 No, Robbie. You got to get up. 1016 00:48:39,721 --> 00:48:42,410 You got to get up right now. Get up right now, come on! 1017 00:48:42,445 --> 00:48:45,307 Get your ass... get your ass up, come on! 1018 00:48:45,341 --> 00:48:47,549 Get the fuck up, Robbie! 1019 00:48:47,584 --> 00:48:49,929 Somebody help us! 1020 00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:51,894 Where the fuck is everyone? 1021 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,515 No! Robbie, Robbie, he's coming back. 1022 00:48:54,549 --> 00:48:56,077 Come on, get up, get up. 1023 00:48:56,101 --> 00:48:58,032 Get it here, Robbie! 1024 00:48:58,067 --> 00:49:00,101 No! Behind you! 1025 00:49:00,136 --> 00:49:02,067 Behind you! 1026 00:49:02,101 --> 00:49:03,860 No! 1027 00:49:03,894 --> 00:49:06,826 Robbie! 1028 00:49:11,481 --> 00:49:13,619 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 1029 00:49:13,654 --> 00:49:15,481 Hide! 1030 00:49:15,516 --> 00:49:16,895 Drop the weapon! 1031 00:49:16,930 --> 00:49:18,757 Now! 1032 00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:19,964 Hey! 1033 00:49:19,999 --> 00:49:21,481 Don't come any closer! 1034 00:49:21,516 --> 00:49:22,688 Kill this motherfucker! 1035 00:49:22,723 --> 00:49:25,965 Drop the weapon now! 1036 00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,724 This is officer Danny Davis. 1037 00:49:36,758 --> 00:49:39,000 I got at least three people down at 246 Chestnut. 1038 00:49:39,034 --> 00:49:42,689 Send back up and an ambulance immediately. 1039 00:49:47,587 --> 00:49:49,483 It's gonna be okay. 1040 00:49:49,518 --> 00:49:50,794 Don't touch me. Don't touch me! 1041 00:49:50,828 --> 00:49:54,690 It's okay. Help is on the way. 1042 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:56,449 Help is on the way, okay? 1043 00:49:56,483 --> 00:49:59,414 - Are you sure he's dead? - Yes. He's dead. 1044 00:49:59,449 --> 00:50:01,587 He's dead. 1045 00:50:01,621 --> 00:50:03,552 He's not getting up. 1046 00:50:05,346 --> 00:50:06,967 I got you. 1047 00:50:09,795 --> 00:50:11,484 Oh, Robbie. 1048 00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:13,588 - I got you. - Oh, Robbie. Robbie! 1049 00:50:13,622 --> 00:50:15,667 It's okay, it's okay. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. 1050 00:50:15,691 --> 00:50:19,760 Okay, stay calm. Help is on the way, alright? 1051 00:50:23,072 --> 00:50:26,761 It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fi... watch your head. 1052 00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:43,521 Can you tell me what happened? 1053 00:50:43,555 --> 00:50:45,624 - You need to check the store. - What? 1054 00:50:45,659 --> 00:50:47,521 The toy store. You need to check the toy store. 1055 00:50:47,555 --> 00:50:49,348 Why? 1056 00:50:49,383 --> 00:50:52,452 Because that thing looks exactly like the Santa from the store. 1057 00:50:52,486 --> 00:50:54,590 You mean the t.W. Bonkers thing? 1058 00:50:54,624 --> 00:50:56,452 Yeah. 1059 00:50:56,486 --> 00:50:59,038 That fucking guy looks exactly like the thing from the store. 1060 00:50:59,073 --> 00:51:00,866 I can assure it's not on the same Santa. 1061 00:51:00,900 --> 00:51:03,005 No, no, that's... I'm saying that maybe he took 1062 00:51:03,039 --> 00:51:04,798 the fucking suit or something. 1063 00:51:04,832 --> 00:51:07,867 And my friends, my friends were staying the night there, 1064 00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:10,039 and... and maybe that fucker killed them and then took 1065 00:51:10,074 --> 00:51:11,532 the fucking suit. That's what I'm saying. 1066 00:51:11,556 --> 00:51:13,384 He didn't get that thing anywhere. 1067 00:51:13,418 --> 00:51:14,832 You need to fucking check! Okay? 1068 00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:16,532 - There's only a few of us, okay? - I don't fucking care. 1069 00:51:16,556 --> 00:51:18,798 Listen to me. No one's been fucking listening to me. 1070 00:51:18,832 --> 00:51:20,074 There's only a few of us! 1071 00:51:20,108 --> 00:51:22,075 You need to do a fucking drive by! 1072 00:51:22,109 --> 00:51:23,947 - More people are gonna die! - Once everything... 1073 00:51:23,971 --> 00:51:25,947 Once everything is all right, I can go back and do a check. 1074 00:51:25,971 --> 00:51:27,799 More people are gonna fucking die! 1075 00:51:27,833 --> 00:51:30,385 Calm down. 1076 00:51:31,419 --> 00:51:33,764 Shoot him! Fucking shoot him! 1077 00:51:42,903 --> 00:51:47,731 Blow his fucking head off, Davies, now! 1078 00:51:49,662 --> 00:51:50,869 He's done for! 1079 00:51:50,903 --> 00:51:52,834 Ah! 1080 00:51:52,869 --> 00:51:55,076 Davies? 1081 00:51:59,077 --> 00:52:02,801 Davies? Davies, get the fuck up! 1082 00:52:02,835 --> 00:52:06,732 Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot! Come on! 1083 00:52:06,766 --> 00:52:08,628 Get up! 1084 00:52:08,663 --> 00:52:10,525 Behind you! 1085 00:52:10,559 --> 00:52:13,490 No, no, no, no, no! 1086 00:52:44,768 --> 00:52:46,354 Ho, ho, ho! 1087 00:52:46,389 --> 00:52:48,458 Merry Christmas. 1088 00:52:56,114 --> 00:52:57,907 Okay, okay. 1089 00:52:57,942 --> 00:52:59,355 Okay, okay, okay. 1090 00:53:02,355 --> 00:53:04,907 Hello? Officer Davis was killed, okay? 1091 00:53:04,942 --> 00:53:06,700 He's fucking dead. Is anyone there? 1092 00:53:07,976 --> 00:53:09,355 Listen to me. 1093 00:53:09,390 --> 00:53:11,976 The officers going to 246 Chestnut 1094 00:53:12,011 --> 00:53:14,011 need to be fucking careful because the killer is 1095 00:53:14,045 --> 00:53:16,667 still there, and he looks like fucking Santa, okay? 1096 00:53:16,701 --> 00:53:17,874 He's in a Santa costume. 1097 00:53:17,908 --> 00:53:20,081 Fuck! 1098 00:53:20,115 --> 00:53:22,805 Oh, fuck. 1099 00:53:22,839 --> 00:53:26,012 Yes, go! 1100 00:53:27,736 --> 00:53:30,839 Hey! Hey! 1101 00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:33,529 Hey! 1102 00:53:33,563 --> 00:53:35,806 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1103 00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,506 - Get on the ground! - No, I've been calling you! 1104 00:53:37,530 --> 00:53:39,806 Don't fuckin' move! On the ground! 1105 00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,875 - Get on the ground! - Get your hands on your head! 1106 00:53:41,909 --> 00:53:43,402 - I need your help! - Hands on your head. 1107 00:53:43,426 --> 00:53:44,885 - I need your... - Get your fucking hands 1108 00:53:44,909 --> 00:53:46,506 - on your head! - Fine, I'm fucking sorry! 1109 00:53:46,530 --> 00:53:47,989 Officer: Get your hands on your fucking head! 1110 00:53:48,013 --> 00:53:49,575 - No, no, no, I need your help. - Where's Davies? 1111 00:53:49,599 --> 00:53:51,702 I need your help. I need your fucking help, man. 1112 00:53:51,737 --> 00:53:54,462 Where is Davies? Get your hands behind your back. 1113 00:53:54,496 --> 00:53:56,117 He's dead, he's dead, he's dead. 1114 00:53:56,152 --> 00:53:58,024 - What did you just say? - He's dead. He's fuckin' dead. 1115 00:53:58,048 --> 00:53:59,472 They're all fucking dead. 1116 00:53:59,496 --> 00:54:00,714 - Bullshit! Where is he! - He's dead! 1117 00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:02,876 I've been trying to fucking tell you! 1118 00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:04,772 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything? 1119 00:54:04,807 --> 00:54:06,358 -I didn't do anything -what did you do? 1120 00:54:06,393 --> 00:54:09,462 I need your fuckin' help! I need your fuckin' help! 1121 00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:12,428 - Get up, sweetheart. Get up! - I need... ah! 1122 00:54:12,463 --> 00:54:14,739 He's still there! 1123 00:54:14,773 --> 00:54:16,463 You need help, you need help. 1124 00:54:16,497 --> 00:54:18,773 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I call the shots! 1125 00:54:18,808 --> 00:54:20,842 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Weston, you get down 1126 00:54:20,877 --> 00:54:23,325 to Chestnut. I'm taking her... I'm taking you in. 1127 00:54:23,359 --> 00:54:24,715 You can't alone. You're gonna fuckin' die. 1128 00:54:24,739 --> 00:54:26,359 - Listen. - You need to call in some... 1129 00:54:26,394 --> 00:54:28,084 - Hey! - You got to fuckin listen to me. 1130 00:54:28,118 --> 00:54:30,084 You're gonna fucking die. He killed everybody. 1131 00:54:30,118 --> 00:54:34,809 - You need back up! - Get in the fuckin' car! 1132 00:54:34,843 --> 00:54:37,636 - You need back up! - Fuck! Shut the fuck up. 1133 00:54:37,671 --> 00:54:39,130 What do you want to do with Davies' car? 1134 00:54:39,154 --> 00:54:41,360 Nothing. Don't touch it. 1135 00:54:41,395 --> 00:54:42,878 Fucking crime scene. 1136 00:54:42,912 --> 00:54:44,809 I'll call and have it towed into the station. 1137 00:54:44,843 --> 00:54:46,981 Alright. Be safe. 1138 00:54:47,016 --> 00:54:49,464 Tori: I need your fucking help. 1139 00:54:49,498 --> 00:54:53,844 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you fucking job. 1140 00:54:53,879 --> 00:54:57,844 Shut the fuck up! 1141 00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:03,361 You can't send him there alone. 1142 00:55:03,396 --> 00:55:06,120 I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do. 1143 00:55:06,155 --> 00:55:07,751 You know, you're in a world of hurt, lady. 1144 00:55:07,775 --> 00:55:09,499 - No fucking... - You're in a world 1145 00:55:09,534 --> 00:55:11,018 - of fucking shit. - No fucking idea! 1146 00:55:11,052 --> 00:55:12,787 We caught you covered in blood and a missing cop... 1147 00:55:12,811 --> 00:55:15,845 Man: Unit 17, Smith, you there? 1148 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,500 Yeah. This is unit 17. This is Smith. Go ahead. 1149 00:55:18,535 --> 00:55:21,983 Man: This is Lenny. We just got here. 1150 00:55:22,018 --> 00:55:24,845 It's a massacre, and we haven't even been inside yet. 1151 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,890 Alright, copy that. Look, don't make a move, alright? 1152 00:55:26,914 --> 00:55:30,501 Just hang back. Weston's on his way down there. 1153 00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,053 Any word from renn county? 1154 00:55:32,088 --> 00:55:35,605 Man: Just us right now, sir. 1155 00:55:35,639 --> 00:55:39,605 Any sign of Davies? 1156 00:55:39,639 --> 00:55:41,674 Man: He's dead, sir. 1157 00:55:41,708 --> 00:55:46,467 Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker! 1158 00:55:48,847 --> 00:55:51,571 I just saw you at Reggie's three goddamn hours ago. 1159 00:55:51,606 --> 00:55:52,847 I don't understand. 1160 00:55:52,882 --> 00:55:54,778 What is there to fucking understand? 1161 00:55:54,813 --> 00:55:57,364 What I don't understand is the lax fucking attitude 1162 00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:58,778 when people are fucking dead. 1163 00:55:58,813 --> 00:56:00,640 Look, Tori, we know you didn't murder anyone, 1164 00:56:00,675 --> 00:56:03,709 but we're having a hard time believing what you're saying. 1165 00:56:03,744 --> 00:56:06,123 I'm having a hard time fucking believing it. Okay? 1166 00:56:06,158 --> 00:56:09,055 But I saw it. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. 1167 00:56:09,090 --> 00:56:11,021 And my fucking eyes don't lie. Okay, Monroe? 1168 00:56:11,055 --> 00:56:13,090 Listen, I can smell the weed and whiskey on you 1169 00:56:13,124 --> 00:56:14,952 - from a mile away. - Yeah. So fucking what? 1170 00:56:14,986 --> 00:56:17,434 I smoked some weed. I had some fucking whiskey. 1171 00:56:17,469 --> 00:56:18,755 But that does not make you hallucinate. 1172 00:56:18,779 --> 00:56:20,434 I promise you. I promise you. 1173 00:56:20,469 --> 00:56:22,710 After what I saw, I'm sober. I'm sober as a fucking... 1174 00:56:22,745 --> 00:56:24,962 Oh, that's good you're sober. Well, I hate to break it to you, 1175 00:56:24,986 --> 00:56:26,642 Ms. Tooms, but it is still illegal. 1176 00:56:26,677 --> 00:56:29,470 Can you shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up! 1177 00:56:29,504 --> 00:56:31,780 My sister is dead! 1178 00:56:31,815 --> 00:56:33,435 Okay? My fucking friends are dead. 1179 00:56:33,470 --> 00:56:34,791 Not that you give a fuck about him. 1180 00:56:34,815 --> 00:56:36,067 But what are you going to do about it? 1181 00:56:36,091 --> 00:56:37,608 - What do you... - Hey! Hey! 1182 00:56:37,642 --> 00:56:39,608 The best goddamn officer in this precinct is dead. 1183 00:56:39,642 --> 00:56:41,067 Now, if you want to be the one to tell his widow. 1184 00:56:41,091 --> 00:56:42,929 Oh, fuck. Debbie. Someone's got to tell Debbie. 1185 00:56:42,953 --> 00:56:44,780 Hey, hey, hey, Bobby. 1186 00:56:44,815 --> 00:56:46,343 We're all getting a little emotional here. 1187 00:56:46,367 --> 00:56:48,988 Just cut it. Both of yous. You, sit down. 1188 00:56:50,816 --> 00:56:53,850 Get this fucking off your fucking desk. 1189 00:56:58,781 --> 00:57:00,954 Have you heard from the boys down at the scene yet? 1190 00:57:00,988 --> 00:57:02,574 Not since renn county showed up. 1191 00:57:02,609 --> 00:57:04,886 They're still down there counting bodies. 1192 00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,782 Nothing about a killer Santa claus either. 1193 00:57:07,817 --> 00:57:09,575 Monroe: Well, why don't you give him a call? 1194 00:57:09,610 --> 00:57:12,817 It's been a little while now. See if they need any help. 1195 00:57:12,851 --> 00:57:14,368 I think they got it under control. 1196 00:57:14,403 --> 00:57:16,024 Double check. 1197 00:57:22,437 --> 00:57:24,645 Fuck! 1198 00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,852 You need to keep that asshole away from me, Monroe. 1199 00:57:27,887 --> 00:57:30,576 He's worked with Davies for over 15 years now. 1200 00:57:30,611 --> 00:57:32,852 We're tight staff. Look around. 1201 00:57:32,887 --> 00:57:35,369 It's been a rough night for all of us. 1202 00:57:35,404 --> 00:57:36,852 Bear with us. 1203 00:57:36,887 --> 00:57:39,025 We'll do the same. 1204 00:57:39,059 --> 00:57:41,094 Just breathe. 1205 00:57:48,612 --> 00:57:52,508 Okay, I'm going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 1206 00:57:52,543 --> 00:57:53,922 There's a bathroom down the hall 1207 00:57:53,957 --> 00:57:56,302 if you want to clean yourself up some. 1208 00:58:57,891 --> 00:58:59,823 Smith: There is no fucking back up, man. 1209 00:58:59,857 --> 00:59:02,340 Monroe: Just hold on a second. Just hold on a second. 1210 00:59:02,374 --> 00:59:03,961 We got to think this out. 1211 00:59:03,995 --> 00:59:05,374 Tori: Oh, shit. 1212 00:59:05,409 --> 00:59:06,616 Have tried the guys from renn? 1213 00:59:06,650 --> 00:59:10,823 Yep, renn, paramedics, Weston. 1214 00:59:10,857 --> 00:59:11,961 Nothing. 1215 00:59:11,995 --> 00:59:13,719 Chp? Anything? 1216 00:59:13,754 --> 00:59:15,340 - Nope. - Hey. Hey. Hey. 1217 00:59:15,374 --> 00:59:16,937 - What's going on? - You coming with me or not? 1218 00:59:16,961 --> 00:59:19,444 Tori: Something happen? You guys can't go back to my house. 1219 00:59:19,479 --> 00:59:21,100 - I told you. - We're police, Tori. 1220 00:59:21,134 --> 00:59:22,893 - That's what we do. - Well, no. 1221 00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:24,627 You need to call the fucking national guard or something. 1222 00:59:24,651 --> 00:59:26,893 He wiped everybody out. He's going to wipe you out! 1223 00:59:26,927 --> 00:59:28,869 Hey, you know, Monroe, maybe you should stay here. 1224 00:59:28,893 --> 00:59:30,513 You can, baby sit the little girl. 1225 00:59:30,548 --> 00:59:31,834 Okay, you know what? If you don't want to fucking 1226 00:59:31,858 --> 00:59:33,444 listen to me, you go out there and die. 1227 00:59:33,479 --> 00:59:34,903 Because, quite frankly, I don't fucking care. 1228 00:59:34,927 --> 00:59:37,583 Tori, we're going to go, we're gonna lock the door. 1229 00:59:37,618 --> 00:59:39,825 - No, no. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1230 00:59:39,859 --> 00:59:41,687 What is that? 1231 00:59:41,721 --> 00:59:43,652 Yeah. What the fuck is that? 1232 00:59:47,032 --> 00:59:48,652 That an ambulance? 1233 00:59:48,687 --> 00:59:51,514 Oh, fuck. It's him. 1234 00:59:51,549 --> 00:59:53,032 Oh, Santa claus? 1235 00:59:53,066 --> 00:59:54,663 - Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus. - Fuckin' Santa claus! 1236 00:59:54,687 --> 00:59:57,377 It's the motherfucker that killed everybody. 1237 00:59:57,412 --> 00:59:58,964 Okay, okay, uh... 1238 00:59:58,998 --> 01:00:00,757 - Oh, fuck. - He's not stopping. 1239 01:00:00,791 --> 01:00:02,619 Fuck! 1240 01:00:14,136 --> 01:00:17,344 Fuck! Ah! 1241 01:00:17,378 --> 01:00:19,413 Monroe: Is everyone all right? 1242 01:00:19,447 --> 01:00:21,344 Yeah, I think I'm fine. 1243 01:00:21,378 --> 01:00:25,103 - Tori? - Uh, yeah. 1244 01:00:28,378 --> 01:00:32,447 Jesus Christ. What the fuck was that? 1245 01:00:32,482 --> 01:00:36,138 Hey, Tori, take these, go to the holding room, 1246 01:00:36,173 --> 01:00:37,655 lock yourself in. 1247 01:00:37,690 --> 01:00:39,690 No, no, no! There's fucking people dead. 1248 01:00:39,724 --> 01:00:41,976 You need to give me a gun. You need to give me a fucking gun. 1249 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,804 - Where the driver? - You're 38. Give her your 38. 1250 01:00:43,828 --> 01:00:45,483 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1251 01:00:45,517 --> 01:00:47,557 - Give me your fucking gun. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1252 01:00:47,586 --> 01:00:49,114 Hey, do you even know how to use that thing? 1253 01:00:49,138 --> 01:00:50,942 Tori: Yeah. You aim is and pull the fucking trigger. 1254 01:00:50,966 --> 01:00:52,483 Yeah? 1255 01:00:52,517 --> 01:00:54,105 Let's go. 1256 01:01:07,415 --> 01:01:08,898 Cover me. 1257 01:01:18,450 --> 01:01:19,657 Okay. I'm clear. 1258 01:01:19,692 --> 01:01:21,381 Tori, get in there! 1259 01:01:21,416 --> 01:01:23,692 Stay away from the fucking car! He's in there! 1260 01:01:23,726 --> 01:01:25,726 Do you see anything? 1261 01:01:30,795 --> 01:01:33,831 Something's not right. Something's not right! 1262 01:01:33,865 --> 01:01:36,107 Yeah, he's not fucking human. That's what's not right. 1263 01:01:36,141 --> 01:01:37,727 Do you see anything? 1264 01:01:39,624 --> 01:01:42,624 Monroe! Monroe! 1265 01:01:44,693 --> 01:01:46,451 Oh, fuck! 1266 01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:49,520 Where are you, motherfucker?! 1267 01:01:49,555 --> 01:01:51,383 Show yourself! 1268 01:01:51,418 --> 01:01:53,694 Get out of here now! 1269 01:01:53,728 --> 01:01:57,935 Come on, motherfucker! Let me see your face. 1270 01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,383 Hey! 1271 01:02:02,487 --> 01:02:04,004 Come on, fuck you! 1272 01:02:05,970 --> 01:02:08,108 Oh, no, wait! 1273 01:02:08,142 --> 01:02:09,659 No! No! 1274 01:02:09,694 --> 01:02:10,660 Aah! 1275 01:02:10,695 --> 01:02:13,798 Oh, fuck! 1276 01:02:38,696 --> 01:02:41,075 Oh, god. Okay. 1277 01:03:04,766 --> 01:03:07,629 Hello? Oh, fuck! 1278 01:03:07,663 --> 01:03:09,008 Fuck. 1279 01:03:25,629 --> 01:03:29,320 Okay, okay, okay. 1280 01:03:29,906 --> 01:03:30,940 Uh... 1281 01:03:31,906 --> 01:03:33,354 Hello? 1282 01:03:33,733 --> 01:03:35,009 Hello? 1283 01:03:35,044 --> 01:03:37,078 Fuck! 1284 01:03:55,527 --> 01:03:57,872 Hello? Hello, is anyone there? 1285 01:03:57,907 --> 01:03:59,400 Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin' police station. 1286 01:03:59,424 --> 01:04:00,976 I need your help. 1287 01:04:01,010 --> 01:04:02,941 Hello? Someone fuckin' answer me, please. 1288 01:04:02,976 --> 01:04:04,735 Fuck! 1289 01:07:06,399 --> 01:07:08,537 Fuck you! 1290 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,710 No! No! No! 1291 01:07:13,744 --> 01:07:17,435 No! No! 1292 01:07:17,469 --> 01:07:20,573 No, no! No! 1293 01:07:42,470 --> 01:07:44,884 Fucking cocksucker! 1294 01:08:07,851 --> 01:08:10,127 Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? 1295 01:08:10,161 --> 01:08:12,885 Everybody's fucking dead! Please, someone, please! 1296 01:08:17,059 --> 01:08:19,059 Fuck! Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 1297 01:08:19,093 --> 01:08:21,679 Yes, come on! Come on! 1298 01:08:25,507 --> 01:08:27,403 Yes! Yes! 1299 01:08:27,438 --> 01:08:28,921 Ah! 1300 01:08:52,681 --> 01:08:54,992 Oh, fuck! 1301 01:08:55,026 --> 01:08:56,440 Fuck! 1302 01:08:57,509 --> 01:08:59,130 Fuck you! No! 1303 01:09:14,613 --> 01:09:15,924 Fuck you! 1304 01:09:19,855 --> 01:09:22,096 No! No! 1305 01:09:22,131 --> 01:09:23,889 No! 1306 01:09:25,475 --> 01:09:27,510 What the fuck?! Fuck! 1307 01:09:29,683 --> 01:09:31,476 Fuck you! 1308 01:12:28,451 --> 01:12:29,727 Fuck! 1309 01:12:44,762 --> 01:12:46,004 Fuck! 1310 01:12:46,969 --> 01:12:49,142 Fuck! 1311 01:15:02,045 --> 01:15:04,114 What the fuck?! 1312 01:17:54,123 --> 01:17:55,813 Okay. 1313 01:18:06,469 --> 01:18:09,021 No, no, no, no! 1314 01:18:09,055 --> 01:18:10,607 No! 1315 01:18:42,815 --> 01:18:45,126 Oh, fuck. 1316 01:18:48,574 --> 01:18:50,161 Fuck! 1317 01:18:50,195 --> 01:18:53,436 Come on. Come on. 1318 01:18:56,195 --> 01:18:58,609 Come on! No, no, no! 1319 01:18:58,643 --> 01:19:00,574 Come on! 1320 01:19:00,609 --> 01:19:02,540 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, come on! 1321 01:19:02,574 --> 01:19:07,610 Come on! Fuck you! 1322 01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:13,541 Oh, fuck! 1323 01:19:58,474 --> 01:19:59,991 Oh, fuck! 1324 01:21:03,512 --> 01:21:05,892 No! 1325 01:21:09,202 --> 01:21:11,857 Fuck! No! 1326 01:21:40,583 --> 01:21:42,928 No! No! 1327 01:21:43,790 --> 01:21:46,894 No! No! No! 1328 01:21:46,928 --> 01:21:48,963 Fuck! Fuck! 1329 01:21:51,756 --> 01:21:53,652 Ah! Fuck! 93274

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