Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,404
I'm sorry.
2
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:01,996
Where's Blanca?
3
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:07,085
They took her.
Also Karla and some of the Venezuelans.
4
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,296
-What? When?
-While you were in the shower.
5
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,382
They like to do it in the morning,
6
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,802
or in the middle of the night
while people are groggy.
7
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:16,845
Less resistance this way.
8
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,805
Where did they take her?
Is she coming back?
9
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,808
Probably.
10
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,857
Oh, God! What is that smell?
11
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,818
It's a combination
of naturally derived stain remover
12
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,988
and breast milk derived infant feces.
13
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,532
It's layered.
14
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,825
Looking a little rough there.
15
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,035
You and the office gals
hit up ladies' night or something?
16
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:45,498
I drank their entire bottle of tequila
and ate their cookie cake with my hands.
17
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,334
The cougars are gonna eat me alive today.
18
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:52,005
I wish there was a way
that I could call in sick.
19
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,048
I thought you were liking the new gig?
20
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,051
How could anyone like
standing in front of a scanner
21
00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:01,806
for eight hours a day,
trying not to throw out broken pens?
22
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,057
You wanna switch places with me?
23
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,518
'Cause Neri's got me assigned
this shit-scraping duty
24
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,312
while she visits her mom with the baby.
25
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:11,065
And then I have to launder these
at the world's worst laundromat ever,
26
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:14,652
where, the last time, I had to clean
broccoli florets out of the machine
27
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,653
before I could load in.
28
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,407
And then I'm trapped here waiting
for the fridge repairman to arrive
29
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,285
somewhere between the hours
of 11:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m.
30
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:26,998
I guess I love the little fucker,
but being a dad is a real life-ruiner.
31
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,249
So is going to prison.
32
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,794
Even after you serve your time,
they still find ways to punish you.
33
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,881
Okay, I'm calling time-out
on this whole misery Olympics.
34
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,634
We both win.
Maybe we need to start meditating.
35
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,093
What I need is a break.
36
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,931
I need a day off from all the rules.
Like a little personal snow day.
37
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,766
Man, I loved snow days.
38
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:48,019
Remember how we used to watch
Price Is Right marathons in our PJs,
39
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,687
even though I-- I slept naked?
40
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:53,107
And make grilled cheeses, and drink
Marshmallow Lovers' hot chocolate?
41
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,902
-Oh.
-Which is a disgusting combination.
42
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,820
Who knew it'd be all downhill from there?
43
00:03:58,446 --> 00:03:59,364
But does it have to be?
44
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,908
Just because we're adults
doesn't mean we can't have a snow day.
45
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,702
Except that it does,
because you're on parole,
46
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,747
I have an infant, and it's not snowing.
47
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,165
Ugh!
48
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,586
Oh, we've both been so good.
We deserve one day of hooky.
49
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:14,796
Uh...
50
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,507
Then we can go back to our shitty,
oppressive lives.
51
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:22,262
You write a note for the fridge guy,
and I'll figure out a way to get off work.
52
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,763
Well, that part's easy.
53
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,181
You just call the office phone,
54
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,767
leave a message on the machine
saying that your snot is green.
55
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,852
I used to do it all the time
when I had that job.
56
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,730
-So you're in?
-Mmm... I don't know.
57
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,734
Neri has been strictly hand jobs
since the baby.
58
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:40,321
I can't risk losing those.
Her hands are so soft.
59
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,825
Cal, come on. It's one day.
60
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,412
-I--
-It's one day, for our sanity.
61
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:52,125
When was the last time
that you and I had fun together?
62
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,213
I mean, a few skid marks
won't kill the kid,
63
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,506
-right?
-Ah!
64
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,591
Hair of the dog.
65
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,636
Yes!
66
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,098
Fuck the police.
67
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,396
You girls have fun.
68
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,733
Make sure to get yourself
something nice, too, Mama.
69
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:20,236
Maybe, uh, one of them leopard numbers
I like, you know?
70
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,117
Leopard ain't cheap.
71
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,078
Well, business is boomin'.
72
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,415
I mean, you can try some stuff on.
73
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:36,336
I can sit in one of those husband chairs,
and you can, like, model it for me?
74
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,213
Those chairs are for pussies and perverts.
75
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,298
All right.
76
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,927
That's a fair point. All right,
I'm gonna let you girls do your thing.
77
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,012
I'm gonna go to Sbarro
78
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,890
and get something to eat
and then head into the office.
79
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,435
Okay. Bye, guys. Have fun.
80
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:58,024
Sale rack only. Nothing too slutty.
81
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,568
Yeah, yeah.
Do as you say, not as you slut.
82
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,155
He's gonna figure out
you're stealing from him.
83
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,324
I'm not stealing. It's business.
84
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:09,535
Is that why your tampon box
is full of cash and no tampons?
85
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,789
Stay the fuck out of my tampon box.
I know exactly how much is in there.
86
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,499
Plus, I earned that money.
87
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,794
Here, go get yourself a shirt
that actually covers your tits.
88
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,380
Oh, so I have to wait till I'm old
to show them off like you do?
89
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:25,885
Hey! I am a young 37-year-old,
and you wish you had my tit gene.
90
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:29,806
You got those Gonzales tube sock boobs,
like your grandmother.
91
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,101
Hey, babe. We gotta go.
I parked in the handicap.
92
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,560
Hey. Who's this?
93
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,354
Angel. My boyfriend.
94
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,316
This is the guy you been seeing?
95
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,236
What is he, like, twice your age?
96
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,153
So?
97
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,323
So he's a fucking pedophile.
98
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,784
Damn. Your mom's a savage.
99
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,369
Hey! She's only 13.
100
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,578
You come near my daughter again,
101
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,706
I will rip your balls off
and shove 'em down your throat.
102
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,085
Now get the fuck out of here
before I violate my parole.
103
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,379
-Okay, mami.
-Yo, what'd you just call me?
104
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,090
-Go. I'll text you later. What the fuck?
-You ain't texting shit!
105
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,925
Hanging out with some
grown-ass drug dealer,
106
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,803
like you some jailbait gangbanger.
107
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,598
You will never see him again, you hear me?
108
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,434
It's none of your business who I see.
109
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,354
I know that you think you're grown
110
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,314
because you have
some short and curlies now,
111
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,025
but messing with some scumbag like that
112
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:27,071
will ruin your whole life for good
before you even get into high school.
113
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,491
-Believe me, 'cause I know.
-So, what? I can't even date?
114
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,828
I didn't say that. You wanna get felt up
in the back of a McDonald's?
115
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,330
Go right ahead.
But do it with someone your own age.
116
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,790
Guys my age are boring.
117
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,460
Older guys are boring, too. Trust me.
118
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,336
Whatever, yo.
119
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,673
Yo, where are you going?
120
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,550
Don't you walk away from me!
121
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:49,677
Eva!
122
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,555
See him over there?
123
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:58,478
You're gonna go over to him,
and smile and introduce yourself,
124
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:01,731
and then gonna ask him
if he wants to dance.
125
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,024
The Freddy Krueger-looking one?
126
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:06,652
It don't matter what he looks like.
He's a good tipper.
127
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,321
Why can't you go?
128
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,616
Because I'm not as young
and beautiful as you are.
129
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,205
But the last guy kept pinching me.
And his breath smelled like dog treats.
130
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:20,833
If he wants to pinch you,
let him pinch you.
131
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:26,380
But if he wants to do anything else,
you tell him it's more money, understand?
132
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:32,386
Hey, Aleida, look at me.
133
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,972
I know things are bad right now.
134
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,933
We only gotta hold out a little longer.
135
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,684
Your daddy's getting out soon.
136
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,604
And once he's out,
we won't have to do this no more.
137
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,523
We... ain't doing anything.
138
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,109
And the last time Daddy got out,
he gambled away everything we had
139
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,487
-and was back in jail three weeks later.
-So that's my fucking fault?
140
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,572
-No, but--
-I didn't think so.
141
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,243
Now, stop complaining
and get rid of the mopey face.
142
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,662
Gotta smile. Let me see.
143
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:02,542
Good. Now be a big girl
and go talk to him.
144
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,045
And be nice and laugh,
and blink your eyes a lot.
145
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,806
-Hey, there. What's your name?
-Aleida.
146
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,934
Aleida. That's a beautiful name.
147
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,019
You're very pretty, Aleida.
148
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,396
Yeah. You wanna dance or what?
149
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:53,301
Oh, shit! Oh, man. I'm sorry.
150
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:57,013
Flaca, Lorna, Nicky.
Help me clean this mess up.
151
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,431
But we're doing the salad.
152
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,349
Well, salad is a strong word
for what we're doing.
153
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,977
Well, I guess lunch
is gonna be late, then.
154
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,520
I'm sorry, but lunch can't be late.
155
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,939
When women don't eat, they get crazy.
It's a safety risk.
156
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:11,485
If you want lunch to be served on time,
then I'm gonna need extra help.
157
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,279
Have you eaten today?
Maybe you should have a snack.
158
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,823
Look, I'm telling you.
What's that other CO's name? Bell?
159
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,825
-She let detainees come and help.
-She did?
160
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,494
Yeah. And even then
we barely made it on time.
161
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,164
Okay, fine.
I'll, uh, get you a couple of volunteers.
162
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,498
-You happy?
-Yeah, thank you.
163
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,337
Uh, you should probably get
Maritza Ramos, uh, Blanca Flores,
164
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,963
because they used to work with me
down at the camp.
165
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:31,922
They know what they're doing.
166
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,966
Our lives would be a lot easier,
I promise.
167
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:38,262
All right. I'll see if I can find them.
And you should really eat something.
168
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,849
It's because you're distracted.
169
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,809
When you're distracted,
you have accidents.
170
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,519
It wasn't an accident.
I need to get them in here.
171
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,271
I need to talk to them. It's important.
172
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,939
More important than doing your job?
173
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:52,360
Have you been paying attention?
Ramos and Flores need help.
174
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,655
You feeling okay?
175
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:59,492
Yes, I'm fine. I'm not the one
throwing things on the floor.
176
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,413
Where is Flores?
177
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,539
I'm not sure, to be honest.
178
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,958
But this one says
she worked in Luxor as a chef.
179
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:11,295
Vinnie says that Caesars is still
the best hotel in Vegas.
180
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,713
Luxor is in Egypt.
181
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:17,218
Right. The pyramid with the big light.
Right next to Excalibur's?
182
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,680
I'm-- I'm sorry about my friend.
She's a little slow on the uptake.
183
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,724
Uh, it takes her two hours
to watch 60 Minutes.
184
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,102
Okay, back to work, ladies.
185
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:28,104
Okay.
186
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,107
-They took Blanca.
-Who did?
187
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,526
-The fucking terminators.
-Shh. Not here.
188
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:37,530
Uh, Ramos, Gonzales,
why don't you guys help me
189
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,032
take some stuff out from the freezer
while they clean up?
190
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,868
Uh, Red, why don't you
watch the stew for me?
191
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,412
Don't forget to add salt and pepper.
192
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,497
I know how to season a stew.
193
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,878
-What happened?
-She disappeared. This morning.
194
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,505
I got back from the bathroom,
and she was gone.
195
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,549
They Chris Angel-ed her ass
back to the DR?
196
00:11:56,632 --> 00:12:01,512
I don't know. My bunkie said
it means she was at her hearing
197
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,514
or got transferred or, yeah, deported.
198
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:08,561
But they haven't given away her bed yet,
which she said might mean the first one.
199
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:12,231
Oh, my God. I-- I got the feeling
that she was just trying to be nice.
200
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,774
Or maybe-- maybe it's true.
201
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:17,194
Even if it is, that means that she went
to the hearing without a lawyer.
202
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:20,197
- Fuck. What if that means I'm next?
- No--
203
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,407
No, I don't have a lawyer.
204
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,868
You will. I wanted to tell you.
I found this group online.
205
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:26,829
It's called Freedom for Immigrants,
and they wanna help people in here.
206
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,457
Yeah, and I called them
and I told them all about you.
207
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,041
How cute and fly you are,
208
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,960
and how you're basically like
the next Kylie Jenner,
209
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,796
and they have to save you.
So they have this number to call,
210
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,133
so you can get a lawyer,
a free lawyer, to come talk to you.
211
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,636
Okay, but it's not a 1-800 number, right?
'Cause those don't work here, trust.
212
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,682
No, no, no. Alls you do is hit pound
and put these four numbers in,
213
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,435
and that's it, it connects.
Just like a hotline.
214
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:53,355
"9-4-8-1."
Girl, that's Beyoncé's birthday!
215
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,024
Does that mean she's watching over me?
216
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,108
That's what I said.
217
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,486
Okay, but you have to be careful, though.
Okay?
218
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:02,406
Apparently, if they figure out
that you're using the hotline,
219
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,824
Big Brother shuts it down.
220
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,119
Don't worry,
I had a thing with a senator once.
221
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,331
I know how to be discreet.
You guys, thank you so much.
222
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,791
Which senator?
223
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,377
Bitch, like you know about senators.
224
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,182
Thanks, CO Dixon. Come in.
225
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,017
You can leave us.
226
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,686
I think I'll wait outside
in case she gets violent again.
227
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:33,854
Appreciate it.
228
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,441
Have a seat.
229
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:43,906
-Thank you for letting me talk to you.
-It's my job.
230
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,702
-Yeah, I know you're busy.
-Yeah, I am, actually.
231
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,956
So, what did you wanna talk about?
232
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:57,211
Well, I was looking at those pamphlets
that you had gave everybody.
233
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,796
And they really got me thinking.
234
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,215
-You wanna join one of the programs?
-Oh, no.
235
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,716
None of them really seem right for me.
236
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,845
But they got me thinking about
how I wanna spend my time here.
237
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:12,476
And I was thinking maybe I could do, like,
an independent study situation with you?
238
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,353
As your assistant?
239
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,189
My assistant?
240
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,733
Yeah, I used to do it for Mr. Caputo,
back when he was the warden.
241
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,695
I mean, I would, you know,
cover the phone,
242
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,947
file paperwork, give him reminders.
243
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,199
I would tell people, you know,
he was on a call,
244
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,536
maybe when he was beating his meat
or something. You know, office-y shit.
245
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,622
And then we had a really nice groove
towards the end.
246
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,418
-And he said that I was very helpful.
-Not gonna lie. I could use the help.
247
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,921
And I could use the money
and the mental stimulation,
248
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:45,926
and a break from
these squawking bitches in here.
249
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,388
It sounds nice and all,
250
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:54,018
but I can't have the COs thinking
I'm doing you any favors.
251
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:55,311
They already think that.
252
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,480
Ain't you the boss?
Since when you care what people think?
253
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,275
Where's this coming from, Taystee?
254
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:07,531
Last time I checked, you were all,
"Get out of my room, Mom."
255
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:11,243
I-- I thought about what you said,
and you were right.
256
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:15,331
I can't sit around being pissed off
for the rest of my life.
257
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:19,084
I gotta figure out
how I'm gonna make it easier in here.
258
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:24,548
I gotta figure out a way
to make it... livable.
259
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,136
Otherwise, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
260
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:33,265
Oh. I'm sorry. I see you're busy.
261
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:37,061
Officer Hopper, how do I make it clear
to you that you need to knock first?
262
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,647
I thought you'd like to know
that there's been another incident,
263
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,400
but I'd hate to interrupt your girl talk,
so I'll come back later.
264
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:47,905
Actually, why don't you go ahead and
schedule some time with my new assistant?
265
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:55,788
-Her?
-How does, uh, Tuesday work for you?
266
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,172
Slow down, Pipes.
You gotta save room for the main event.
267
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,632
This beer is delicious.
268
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,842
I think it's probably mostly
the getting-out-of-prison thing.
269
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,056
Oh, my God.
270
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,225
This is an entire meal in a drink.
271
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,144
Told you. Allow me to demonstrate.
272
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:20,521
Mmm?
273
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,194
Yep.
274
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,947
A lot's changed
since you've been away, Pipes.
275
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,031
Mmm!
276
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,742
People ride around
on bikes sponsored by banks.
277
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,120
The Internet's more important
than real life.
278
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,540
And Bloody Marys now come with Wagyu beef.
Welcome to the future.
279
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,834
The future is amazing.
280
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,796
-I'm so glad we did this.
-Me, too.
281
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,217
You know what would make this
even better, though?
282
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,012
I was saving these
for Neri's fire spinning show,
283
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,723
but it's not every day your ex-con sister
has a snow day with you.
284
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,269
- What are those?
- They're bloobs.
285
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,565
That's what you call chocolate-covered
blueberries when there's pot in them.
286
00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:05,816
What?
287
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:11,989
Oh, my God. What I wouldn't give
to get high like a normal person.
288
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,199
Cal, I've been dreaming about it.
289
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,118
Well, I'm offering you
that dream come true.
290
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,454
But I get pee tested.
291
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,665
Oh, please. This is not
my first drug test rodeo.
292
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:25,002
You squirt a little Visine into the cup.
It makes the test unreadable.
293
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,755
I used to do it all the time
when I worked in that cannery in Alaska.
294
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,256
That doesn't really work, does it?
295
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,759
Piper, I have
a very particular set of skills,
296
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,470
skills acquired over a lifetime
of smoking marijuana,
297
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:38,807
skills that make me an expert in masking
the presence of weed in my urine.
298
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,894
Do you promise that it won't show up?
299
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:43,771
I guarantee it.
300
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,982
Come on. You said no rules.
301
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,443
That was the whole point
of snow day, wasn't it?
302
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,340
What's wrong? No new followers?
303
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,674
Funny.
304
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,802
Social media can make you depressed,
you know.
305
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,762
It's called
the compare and despair effect.
306
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,848
Thanks for the tip, but I'm actually
trying to order something.
307
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,977
Believe it or not,
1-800-Flowers does not accept Green Dot.
308
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,731
-Got a credit card number I can borrow?
-Mine are all maxed.
309
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,025
Plus, you're a convicted felon.
310
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:34,196
What are you trying
to order flowers for, anyway?
311
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,323
Piper.
312
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,828
It's our finger-bang-iversary.
313
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,289
-Is that an actual thing?
-God, you are naive.
314
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:49,628
She's been a little down lately,
thanks in no small part to me.
315
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,506
I just want her to know
that I'm thinking about her.
316
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,386
Must be nice to be in a relationship
with a woman.
317
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,389
So much more consideration.
318
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,475
I mean, it cuts both ways.
More consideration, yes.
319
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:08,730
More passive-aggressive fighting
about unspoken emotions, also, yes.
320
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:15,112
It sounds like flowers won't cut it, then.
You should do something more personal.
321
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,115
I'll run to the nearest Color Me Mine
322
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,868
and paint her a mug
with an inspirational quote on it.
323
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,202
Maybe something like,
324
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,079
"Everything's a dildo
if you're brave enough."
325
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,749
I see what you mean
about the passive-aggressive thing.
326
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,127
Shit. Wait. Wait. Okay.
327
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,754
You're right.
328
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,465
I thought of something.
329
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:40,095
How do you feel about making
a long detour on your way home tonight?
330
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,688
I'd love to catch a wave on that.
331
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:53,442
A tiny little man
on a tiny little surfboard.
332
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,821
We should be able to do that.
Surf on snow.
333
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,617
Isn't that what snowboarding is?
334
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,744
Oh.
335
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,873
I'm gonna try
the goat cheese chili chocolate.
336
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:12,669
Hi. Excuse me.
Can I try the goat cheese chili chocolate?
337
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,046
You already tried that one.
338
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,714
I've forgotten how it tastes.
339
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,718
And I need to cross-reference it
with the bourbon cornflake.
340
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:34,983
-Cal?
-Hmm?
341
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,652
-Have you tried this?
-Uh-uh.
342
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,070
It's unreal.
343
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:40,948
Oh, yeah.
344
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,743
I'm high. I'm really high.
345
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:50,999
How does that Visine thing work again?
Like, physically?
346
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,168
Oh! It's super easy. Um...
347
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,798
You cup the Visine in your hand,
and then when you go to pee,
348
00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:02,511
you stick it under your dick, like so.
349
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,971
And then when you pee,
350
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:07,933
you squirt little squirts of Visine
into the cup.
351
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:12,980
It helps if you're a little chubbed,
so there's some resistance, you know.
352
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,779
But I don't have a cone.
353
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,573
Even better. Then you don't even need
the sleight of hand.
354
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,536
Just pre-load the bottle
and then Kegel it while you pee.
355
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,209
Are you doing it?
356
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,878
I am, yeah.
357
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:38,630
Yeah, I think I am.
358
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:47,139
It's a real shame you're not gonna
get to use your chef skills here.
359
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,808
It's not exactly the Four Seasons Cairo.
360
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,311
We don't have four seasons in Cairo.
Only two.
361
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:56,189
Ah. A Cairo comedienne who cooks.
362
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,567
All lies. I'm not from Cairo.
363
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,110
-I'm hit-and-miss funny.
-Mmm-hmm.
364
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,821
And I lied to the guard
about my cooking skills.
365
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,907
I just wanted something to occupy my mind.
366
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,910
I've been moved around
to many of these detention centers.
367
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,912
They all start to look the same
after a while.
368
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:11,913
How long is a while?
369
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,459
-For me, it's been 18 months.
-Shit. How much longer you got?
370
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:18,545
It's not like prison.
They don't give you a set release date.
371
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,298
My case will either get approved
for asylum
372
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,300
or they send me back to Egypt.
373
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:25,218
I won't know until it's happening.
374
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,303
Yeesh.
375
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:31,183
Well, at least you're getting to see
the best parts of America,
376
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,811
from our fine cuisine
to our wonderful melting pot,
377
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,646
on deck to be deported.
378
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,399
-I only came to America for one thing.
-Yeah?
379
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:40,442
The Tater Tots.
380
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:44,154
Oh. Well, we are known for our tots.
381
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:50,744
I love how they are perfectly bite-sized
and way too salty.
382
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:55,415
Just like the testicles of a food god.
What's in them, anyway?
383
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:56,333
Pertaters.
384
00:22:56,416 --> 00:23:00,545
Ah. That's how you pronounce it?
Now, I understand the name.
385
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,384
Thanks. I really had to go.
386
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,761
I think there's a bug
going around or somethin'.
387
00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:09,179
I hope
you washed your hands afterwards.
388
00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,890
Otherwise, it's gonna be like
World War III in here tomorrow.
389
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,689
You guys, I called the number
and they put me in touch with a lawyer.
390
00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,192
She said I actually might have
a good case.
391
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,403
And she wants to meet with me
in a couple days.
392
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,447
-My God!
-See? Beyoncé's got you, girl!
393
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:30,534
-What about Blanca? She turn up yet?
-No, not yet.
394
00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:33,328
-Don't worry. Beyoncé will check up on it.
-Yes.
395
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,455
But we have to be patient like the song.
396
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,124
Okay, ladies, come and get it.
397
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,841
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh-uh.
398
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,717
Bless us, oh, Lord,
399
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:52,472
for this stew of despair
we made from expired ingredients.
400
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:57,894
We pray that it doesn't permanently alter
the species in our gut biome.
401
00:23:58,895 --> 00:23:59,729
Amen.
402
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,357
Ugh.
403
00:24:03,650 --> 00:24:06,945
Wow. You can really taste the despair.
404
00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:08,530
Mmm.
405
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:11,950
That's not despair, that's salt.
406
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,744
How much salt did you put in here, Red?
407
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,916
I put in the perfectly correct amount.
408
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:25,505
Maybe you had already salted it
before you told me to salt it.
409
00:24:26,089 --> 00:24:27,716
No, I don't think I did.
410
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:31,970
Your one responsibility was the stew.
411
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,557
If there's something wrong with it,
it's on you.
412
00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,688
Yeah, no, no. You're right.
413
00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:45,692
Um, I should be paying more attention,
you know.
414
00:24:45,775 --> 00:24:48,612
Today, I've had a million things
on my mind.
415
00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:52,032
It seems I'm the only one who remembers
that we have a job to do here.
416
00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:53,867
These women are suffering.
417
00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:57,621
The least we can do
is put all our bullshit aside for a minute
418
00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:00,290
and give them a decent meal,
for Christ's sake.
419
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:05,128
On the basis
of the foregoing,
420
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:08,715
it is charged that you are subject
to removal from the United States
421
00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:13,512
pursuant to Provision 212
of the Immigration and Nationality Act.
422
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,972
Based on the government's recommendation,
423
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:19,309
the court will designate Honduras
as the country of removal.
424
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:26,608
Please don't do this.
425
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:30,445
My whole life is here.
My family is here.
426
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:40,205
Am I missing something
or is our team batting zero up there?
427
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:43,917
I don't want any problems.
428
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:46,211
I think we already got problems.
429
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:49,005
The shackles and the crying
are usually a sign of that.
430
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,258
You think this is funny?
431
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,970
Maybe you're used to
this kind of treatment,
432
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:58,306
but it's because of criminals like you
that I'm even here right now.
433
00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,516
Mmm-hmm.
434
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:01,726
Right. Because criminals vote Republican.
435
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,314
It used to be that honest,
436
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:12,445
hard-working people like me
could lead productive lives in the States,
437
00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:17,784
minding their own business, contributing,
staying invisible.
438
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:22,581
But people like you gave them
an excuse to come after all of us.
439
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:24,749
You don't even know
what I did.
440
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,042
And I don't want to.
441
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,758
All I wanna know is where my kids are.
442
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:35,468
They took your kids?
443
00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:40,015
519. Córdova, Karla.
444
00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:49,733
To the respondent,
what is your true and complete name?
445
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:52,777
- Karla Diana Adilene Córdova.
- Thank you.
446
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,948
Ma'am, I have before me a document
called a "Notice to Appear."
447
00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,784
In this document, the Department
of Homeland Security alleges
448
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:02,912
that you are not a citizen
or national of the United States
449
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,498
and that you entered
the country illegally.
450
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,125
How do you plead to the allegations?
451
00:27:07,208 --> 00:27:09,377
I am denying the allegations.
452
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,839
And the basis for your denial?
Are you a US citizen?
453
00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:16,635
It is the government's burden
to prove what it says in that paper.
454
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,720
I am not saying anything.
455
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,140
Your Honor, we have an I-213
for the respondent,
456
00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:24,684
in which she admits
that she is a citizen of El Salvador.
457
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,186
I object to that document he has!
458
00:27:26,269 --> 00:27:29,564
I haven't seen it,
and I never admitted anything to anyone.
459
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:33,777
Never mind anything about El Salvador.
I know my rights.
460
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:38,323
If that is all he has to prove his case,
then you should throw my case out.
461
00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:40,909
Is the government prepared
to meet its burden of proof
462
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,286
in regard
to the defendant's citizenship today?
463
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,245
No, Your Honor.
464
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:50,835
Your Honor, it is my right to ask
that my case be moved to a later date
465
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:55,173
so that I might have time
to seek effective legal counsel.
466
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:03,223
Very well. I will set the matter over
to give you time to try to find a lawyer.
467
00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:05,892
Your new date will be issued to you
within a few days.
468
00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:09,062
-This matter is adjourned for today.
-Thank you, Your Honor.
469
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:24,035
813. Flores, Blanca.
470
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,715
To the respondent,
what is your true and complete name?
471
00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:38,216
I am denying everything.
472
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,635
You're denying your name?
473
00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:42,220
Oh.
474
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,390
Sorry. Blanca Raiza Flores.
475
00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:49,310
Your Honor,
I would like to reset my case, too,
476
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:51,813
until I find a lawyer.
477
00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:54,441
It is my right, Your Honor.
478
00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:58,987
Are you just saying that
because she said it?
479
00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:01,948
No. I was gonna say it first.
480
00:29:02,031 --> 00:29:02,907
Do you even know
481
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,160
what the government's charges
against you are?
482
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,745
You can say whatever you want.
483
00:29:07,328 --> 00:29:09,873
I'm not saying anything
until I have a lawyer.
484
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:13,835
All right, ma'am.
485
00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:16,713
Since you seem determined
to waste the court's time,
486
00:29:16,796 --> 00:29:18,757
I will set the matter over
to a later date,
487
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:23,052
give you an opportunity to find a lawyer.
Make sure you are prepared next time.
488
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,013
Thank you, Your Honor.
489
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:28,183
Yes, well, you can thank your friend.
Adjourned.
490
00:29:38,818 --> 00:29:41,279
It smells like ass in this place.
Why'd you make me come here?
491
00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:42,906
To show you what happens to little girls
492
00:29:42,989 --> 00:29:45,617
who think they're grown
and don't listen to their mother. Sit.
493
00:29:46,826 --> 00:29:50,205
Keep acting up, you're gonna be
smelling that ass smell every day.
494
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:59,506
Is that Eva? Girl, you grew up so fast.
What grade you in? Seventh grade?
495
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:02,383
-Eighth.
-Eighth grade. Wow.
496
00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:04,052
Boys must be all over you.
497
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:06,346
Yeah, and she's all over them, too.
498
00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:11,059
Wow. I'm so happy you came
to see me, baby. I missed you.
499
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:13,520
I think about you every day in here.
You know that, right?
500
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,439
Tell her how much it sucks
to be in prison.
501
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,149
How everybody's a lesbian
502
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:21,986
and how they make you eat that brown,
mushy stuff that taste like dog shit.
503
00:30:22,695 --> 00:30:24,739
And how the guards
are always trying to fuck you. Tell her.
504
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:26,741
Why don't you tell her?
505
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:28,660
It ain't funny.
506
00:30:30,453 --> 00:30:32,372
She's banging a drug dealer twice her age.
507
00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:34,165
Cesar?
508
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:36,251
No.
509
00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:42,382
Some punk-ass trapper
who likes little girls.
510
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:44,175
Tell her if she doesn't smarten up,
511
00:30:44,259 --> 00:30:46,553
then she's gonna fuck up her life
and end up in here.
512
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,056
Oh, I see.
513
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:51,850
So, I'm supposed to be
some kind of example
514
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:53,643
of someone who fucks their life up?
515
00:30:53,726 --> 00:30:55,478
God forbid she should
turn out like me, right?
516
00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:56,646
Is that why you here?
517
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:58,106
And to visit you.
518
00:30:58,189 --> 00:31:00,275
Yo, you're hilarious.
519
00:31:01,442 --> 00:31:05,321
Yo, Eva, why don't you ask Aleida
what she's doing to put food on the table?
520
00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:08,825
Huh? You think she gets all that money
from the milkshake she sells?
521
00:31:08,908 --> 00:31:10,827
-What is she talking about?
-Nothing.
522
00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:12,161
Go ahead, tell her.
523
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:14,539
-Tell her how you're selling dope...
-Daya!
524
00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:17,542
...so she could have a nice life,
instead of the fucked-up one I got.
525
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:19,836
To be honest, though,
I am better off anyway.
526
00:31:19,919 --> 00:31:21,504
I fucking run this place.
527
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:24,757
All I needed was to stay
as far as fucking possible away
528
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,552
from you and your lessons.
529
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:52,493
Yo, you get the beer?
530
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:53,786
Beer's for pussies.
531
00:31:54,829 --> 00:31:56,456
- Oh, shit! Is that vodka?
- Yeah.
532
00:31:56,539 --> 00:31:57,999
What, did you steal this
from a hobo or something?
533
00:31:58,082 --> 00:32:00,168
Nah! I hit up that store on Broadway.
534
00:32:00,251 --> 00:32:03,212
Grandpa owner's so blind,
I got a bottle and two mixers up my shirt,
535
00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:05,798
and he was all, "Oh, sweetie,
when's the baby due?"
536
00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:09,385
I think you're my hero.
537
00:32:11,971 --> 00:32:14,307
All right. Don't take all of it.
538
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:15,892
Sorry.
539
00:32:17,393 --> 00:32:19,354
-All right. Okay.
-Mmm-hmm.
540
00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:21,439
Cheers.
541
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:27,612
That shit is strong.
542
00:32:29,155 --> 00:32:30,365
But it's good, though.
543
00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:33,785
Yeah, it is. So much better
than the bullshit my mom used to drink.
544
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:35,787
Useless bitch
didn't even know good liquor.
545
00:32:36,412 --> 00:32:38,498
Best thing I ever did
was ditch her sloppy ass.
546
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:41,376
This one's to you, Valeria,
wherever the fuck you are.
547
00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:43,211
Somebody else's problem now.
548
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,462
Cheers to that.
549
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:46,506
Mmm.
550
00:32:47,256 --> 00:32:49,258
We should get tequila next time.
551
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:53,346
I've always wanted to try it. And rum!
Maybe we'll be having twins!
552
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:55,890
Nah, this is my drink.
553
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:57,141
What do you mean, "your drink"?
554
00:32:58,101 --> 00:32:59,852
You know, my drink.
555
00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:01,729
You gotta have a drink,
so when you order at the bar,
556
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,189
people know you're classy.
557
00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:04,941
But you can't have vodka orange soda,
that's mine.
558
00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:06,567
Damn.
559
00:33:08,194 --> 00:33:09,696
- Look! Mr. Chill-man! Come on, come on.
- Wait.
560
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,365
-Oh, my gosh. Girl! No!
-Last one there pays.
561
00:33:14,117 --> 00:33:15,201
Aleida!
562
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:17,662
Move your...
563
00:33:19,122 --> 00:33:20,373
You're gonna pay!
564
00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,962
- Suck it.
- Hello, girls.
565
00:33:26,045 --> 00:33:30,591
Uh, yeah, let me get a vanilla cone
with chocolate sprinkles.
566
00:33:31,175 --> 00:33:34,429
Uh, yeah, can I have a chocolate cone
with chocolate dip?
567
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:35,596
Coming right up.
568
00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:38,766
Your, uh, mother know
you're skipping school today?
569
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:41,811
I don't got a mother.
570
00:33:41,894 --> 00:33:44,230
- Your father, then?
- He's gone.
571
00:33:44,313 --> 00:33:45,440
So, who do you live with?
572
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,191
With a friend.
573
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:49,902
And this friend, uh...
574
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:51,863
he pays for your ice cream?
575
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:54,824
I pay for my own ice cream.
I don't need nobody.
576
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,702
Oh.
577
00:33:58,411 --> 00:34:00,121
So, you make your own money, huh?
578
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,333
I got my ways.
579
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,380
Yeah? Well, I got 30 bucks.
580
00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:16,596
Fifty. And, uh, free ice cream for life.
581
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:20,433
Hold this.
And don't lick it, 'cause I'll know.
582
00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:28,900
Yeah?
583
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:31,277
-I have your four o'clock.
-Bring 'em in.
584
00:34:41,704 --> 00:34:44,624
I wasn't expecting you back so soon.
Won the Mega Millions?
585
00:34:44,707 --> 00:34:48,377
I'll do you one better.
I got a job... with the warden.
586
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:51,964
-I'm her new assistant.
-So?
587
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:55,718
So? I did it for you.
You need ears on the inside.
588
00:34:56,135 --> 00:34:57,887
I'll be the first to know
what she's planning.
589
00:34:57,970 --> 00:35:00,431
Transfers, guard changes, drug sweeps--
590
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:03,935
Bitch, do you think I'm brand new?
I got the head guard on my team.
591
00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:07,146
If there's a sweep, he can raid the locker
where they stash the shit.
592
00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:09,023
-That's right. You talking about Hopper?
-Mmm-hmm.
593
00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:13,152
Yeah, Tamika's number one enemy?
The one she's looking to fire?
594
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:14,570
What? They got beef?
595
00:35:15,154 --> 00:35:17,657
See? You think you know shit,
but you don't know
596
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:20,118
until you sit next
to the warden's office all day.
597
00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:22,912
I can be useful to you.
And more than just this intel shit,
598
00:35:22,995 --> 00:35:25,456
you need somebody to make a move
or whatever, I'll be there.
599
00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:28,584
So, you think if you do this for me,
then I'll give you what you asked for?
600
00:35:29,752 --> 00:35:30,878
Will you?
601
00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:35,758
Ain't she an old friend of yours?
602
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:39,262
You must be real serious
if you willing to do her dirty like this.
603
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:43,558
I am serious.
604
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,309
So then, why you talking to me?
605
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:48,312
Why don't you do it yourself
like the old-fashioned way?
606
00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:51,190
Hmm?
607
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:55,528
I tried.
608
00:35:59,365 --> 00:36:04,787
It's too hard the other way, okay?
Instincts kick in, and this is the way.
609
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:10,835
It's a shame you didn't get the chair.
610
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:14,255
Why?
So I could sit on death row for 15 years?
611
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:15,798
Yeah. No, thank you.
612
00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:17,550
Shit, at least you get a last meal.
613
00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:22,013
If it were up to me, I would live it up.
614
00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:27,476
I don't know, I'll get like a never-ending
pasta bowl from Olive Garden,
615
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,312
'cause it's never-ending, you know?
616
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,565
Plus, a Crave Case from White Castle.
617
00:36:32,648 --> 00:36:37,153
Fuck White Castle
and they tiny-ass burgers, dawg.
618
00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:43,659
What you need is a Storky's Supreme Meal
and a cheese with a gravy bundle.
619
00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:47,121
-A gravy bundle? What is that?
-Exactly.
620
00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:50,249
Listen, see what you can dig up.
621
00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:52,585
You bring me back something useful,
622
00:36:52,668 --> 00:36:54,629
and then maybe
I could come through for you.
623
00:36:59,175 --> 00:37:01,219
How do I know
you're not gonna string me along?
624
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,303
You don't.
625
00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:07,558
I only know if something's useful
if I see it.
626
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:11,020
Otherwise, it's gonna be a G,
like we talked about.
627
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,523
Right.
628
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:23,532
And I know you have your plate full
with Blue Ivy and the twins,
629
00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:25,243
and keeping an eye on Jay,
630
00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:29,080
but I'm begging you, please, please,
please help my friend Blanca.
631
00:37:29,163 --> 00:37:33,125
She might seem scary and mean,
but she's just Dominican.
632
00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:35,002
- She's--
- Psst.
633
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:38,464
Hot Girl. Sorry about before
in the bathroom.
634
00:37:38,547 --> 00:37:40,049
I got a sensitive system.
635
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,468
I can't eat too much salt
636
00:37:42,551 --> 00:37:47,431
or butter or dairy
or anything cooked in oil, only lard.
637
00:37:48,557 --> 00:37:49,809
What do you want?
638
00:37:49,892 --> 00:37:51,435
I heard you at the phones before.
639
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:53,229
Sounded like you got in touch
with a lawyer?
640
00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:55,398
You were listening to me?
641
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:07,118
I want the number,
the one that you called.
642
00:38:07,201 --> 00:38:10,538
I been trying to get a lawyer,
but I can't afford it,
643
00:38:10,621 --> 00:38:13,666
and all the free ones I tried,
they have at least a five-month wait.
644
00:38:13,749 --> 00:38:18,337
Please. I'm begging you.
My kids are out there, all alone.
645
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:20,673
They don't even know I'm in here.
646
00:38:20,756 --> 00:38:23,301
I gotta get out of this place
before I lose them.
647
00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:30,975
Fine. I'll give it to you,
but you have to be very careful.
648
00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:31,934
I will.
649
00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:38,983
If the guards see you using this,
they're gonna shut it down.
650
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:51,245
Thank you so much. God bless you.
651
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:49,011
This is for a lawyer.
652
00:39:49,595 --> 00:39:51,430
Thank you. Thank you.
653
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,396
Call this number. It's for a lawyer, okay?
654
00:39:58,479 --> 00:39:59,939
Okay. Thank you.
655
00:40:01,273 --> 00:40:03,526
You guys, this is for a lawyer.
656
00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:11,826
- You seeing this?
- Yes, I am.
657
00:40:12,451 --> 00:40:14,787
Why do the hot ones
always gotta cause trouble?
658
00:40:16,122 --> 00:40:17,832
Because they think
they can get away with it.
659
00:41:46,962 --> 00:41:48,130
Something's funky here.
660
00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:50,257
I had a poppy seed bagel for breakfast.
661
00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:53,093
I hear that poppy seeds
can alter the test results.
662
00:41:58,349 --> 00:41:59,391
Urban legend.
663
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:02,728
That might've been true in the '80s,
but these things are super accurate now.
664
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:07,107
And this is coming back invalid,
which means you probably tampered with it.
665
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:09,151
Did you tamper with it?
666
00:42:09,735 --> 00:42:10,736
No.
667
00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:21,789
Look, I understand
if you had a little weed.
668
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:26,126
I'm not gonna bust you for that,
but you need to come clean,
669
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:29,255
'cause I'm gonna send this sample
to Albany for lab testing,
670
00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:33,467
in which case it will be on the record
and I will have to bust you.
671
00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:36,679
I had a bloob.
672
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:38,931
-A what?
-A bloob.
673
00:42:39,014 --> 00:42:41,016
It's a blueberry mixed with...
674
00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:44,937
-Never mind, I had some pot.
-Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm.
675
00:42:45,020 --> 00:42:47,690
It was a split-second decision
and I regret it immensely,
676
00:42:48,107 --> 00:42:49,817
and it will never happen again.
677
00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:53,237
And I am so...
678
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:56,115
so thankful...
679
00:42:57,449 --> 00:42:58,993
for your understanding.
680
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:03,581
Yeah, I'm not being understanding.
681
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,417
That was a trick. I tricked you.
682
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,128
What are you doing out here?
683
00:43:09,211 --> 00:43:11,714
What, you trying to fuck up
your second chance at life?
684
00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:14,341
Do you have any idea how lucky you are?
685
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:20,848
I got women coming in here, four kids,
no support, working three jobs,
686
00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:25,227
doing everything they can to stay out,
and you running around eating weed fruits!
687
00:43:25,894 --> 00:43:27,605
What, you think this is some kind of joke?
688
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:31,066
I don't. You're right.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
689
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:33,193
I just...
690
00:43:35,821 --> 00:43:38,741
Things have been so hard.
691
00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:42,161
And I guess I just...
692
00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:44,830
I guess I just wanted a little break.
693
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:48,000
And I really miss my wife.
694
00:43:55,674 --> 00:43:59,970
I've seen it before, people stuck
to their lives on the inside.
695
00:44:00,054 --> 00:44:02,598
But you gotta cut that shit out!
696
00:44:02,681 --> 00:44:04,725
You gotta focus on being here,
697
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:07,686
or you're gonna end up
right back in there with her.
698
00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:22,618
I'm gonna have you go to ten NA meetings
at this halfway house.
699
00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:27,539
I need you to take this form,
700
00:44:29,124 --> 00:44:33,754
get it signed by the administrator there
after each meeting,
701
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:36,048
and bring it back to me
when you're all done.
702
00:44:37,424 --> 00:44:42,221
While you're there, take a look around,
and think about how good you got it.
703
00:44:44,973 --> 00:44:47,017
-I will.
-Yeah.
704
00:44:47,976 --> 00:44:49,311
-Thank you.
-Mmm-hmm.
705
00:44:49,395 --> 00:44:53,273
"Bloob." That's a silly word.
706
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:07,871
Where's Ramos?
707
00:45:10,624 --> 00:45:12,251
What do you mean she's gone?
708
00:45:12,334 --> 00:45:14,837
I'm guessing they took her
to her hearing like me.
709
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,297
So, that means that she's gonna
come back like you did, right?
710
00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:20,592
I wouldn't count on it.
It's like a Pack and Ship over there.
711
00:45:20,676 --> 00:45:23,887
I got lucky I could copy
the Salvadoran hater who went ahead of me.
712
00:45:24,513 --> 00:45:26,724
I learned that even though
they don't give you a lawyer,
713
00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:29,768
you have the right to ask for more time
till you find one yourself.
714
00:45:29,852 --> 00:45:31,770
They can't deport Maritza!
715
00:45:31,854 --> 00:45:35,607
-Yo, she's never even been to Colombia!
-Hey. Stay positive.
716
00:45:35,691 --> 00:45:36,942
Maybe she's not at the hearing.
717
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:40,738
Maybe her lawyer came early,
and she's sitting with her right now.
718
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:42,322
She got a lawyer?
719
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:52,499
It must be hell being trapped in here,
720
00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:56,044
the way people keep disappearing
like we're under Soviet occupation.
721
00:45:56,128 --> 00:45:59,214
Hey, maybe that's why Red's been
so on edge lately.
722
00:45:59,506 --> 00:46:00,924
You can't even imagine.
723
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:04,845
On the bright side, though,
I got you something.
724
00:46:10,017 --> 00:46:11,643
You didn't.
725
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:13,937
True blue American 'tater chips.
726
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:16,648
Now, they're no salty god balls,
727
00:46:16,732 --> 00:46:18,859
but the ratio of sodium
to helpful nutrients
728
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:19,985
is about the same as a tot.
729
00:46:20,068 --> 00:46:23,405
You're sweet... and salty.
730
00:46:26,450 --> 00:46:30,162
And now, he's out of the NICU,
so he can take a bottle.
731
00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:34,792
And he has a big appetite,
which means big, healthy poops.
732
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:37,377
And Vinnie and I have
a special name for him.
733
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:38,378
We have a few.
734
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:42,674
One is Sterling Pooper,
another is Poopington Bear,
735
00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:45,427
or Jabba the Butt, uh...
736
00:46:45,886 --> 00:46:50,057
Stinky McTurdlet and Mr. Ca-poo-to.
737
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:53,894
What are those for?
738
00:46:55,187 --> 00:46:57,815
For the casserole.
Did you forget to put them in?
739
00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:00,818
No, of course not.
740
00:47:01,401 --> 00:47:02,861
They must be left over.
741
00:47:04,738 --> 00:47:07,241
Go and get the beans
so we can start soaking them for tomorrow.
742
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,590
You come again?
743
00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:09,094
-You eat oysters or something?
-Nah.
744
00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:11,597
I needed that.
745
00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:15,601
These kids got me stressed the fuck out.
746
00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:19,646
I've been thinking...
747
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,317
I've been thinking maybe we should
take a trip.
748
00:48:24,026 --> 00:48:25,027
You know?
749
00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:29,323
Just the two of us.
Get away from all the bullshit.
750
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:31,283
Soon, baby.
751
00:48:31,366 --> 00:48:33,827
I almost got enough saved
to leave Mr. Clean,
752
00:48:34,411 --> 00:48:37,998
and then we can go somewhere expensive
and eat oysters,
753
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:40,626
-and drink drinks with fruit in 'em. Ooh.
-Hmm.
754
00:48:41,126 --> 00:48:43,211
I'll even let you do that thing
with the beads.
755
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,255
All right. I can get with that.
756
00:48:48,216 --> 00:48:50,093
Stop, stupid.
757
00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:52,387
I could get with that.
758
00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:55,140
Damn.
759
00:48:55,223 --> 00:48:56,350
Shh.
760
00:48:58,977 --> 00:49:01,313
Fuck. Again with these kids.
761
00:49:01,396 --> 00:49:02,564
What the fuck, man?
762
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:03,649
Hello.
763
00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:08,445
So, then eat something.
764
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,157
So, where's Eva?
765
00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,118
She what?
766
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,458
What does that even taste like?
767
00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:26,213
Like pleasure mixed with toothpaste.
Wanna try?
768
00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:28,215
Nah.
769
00:49:28,966 --> 00:49:29,925
All right.
770
00:49:33,011 --> 00:49:34,179
-Yo, what the fuck?
-Oh, shit!
771
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,180
You think you're fucking slick?
772
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,516
Like I wouldn't find out you're
at your crackhead boyfriend's house?
773
00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:40,268
So, he's a crackhead because he deals,
but it's okay when you do it?
774
00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:42,521
-Get in the fucking car.
-Fuck you.
775
00:49:44,231 --> 00:49:46,483
-What did you just say to me?
-I don't gotta listen to you.
776
00:49:46,566 --> 00:49:48,527
Yes, you do. I'm your mother.
777
00:49:48,610 --> 00:49:49,820
Yeah, when you're not in prison!
778
00:49:49,903 --> 00:49:52,656
Stop pretending like
you give a shit about me! Fuck you!
779
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,201
- Get the fuck out of here!
- Oh, shit!
780
00:49:57,661 --> 00:49:59,496
Let go of me, you crazy bitch!
781
00:49:59,579 --> 00:50:00,914
Get off her. You're hurting her.
782
00:50:02,207 --> 00:50:04,960
Mom! Stop it! What are you doing?
783
00:50:05,043 --> 00:50:06,628
Mom!
784
00:50:07,587 --> 00:50:11,925
-Mom!
-You like messing with little girls? Huh?
785
00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,635
Fucking pervert!
786
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:15,887
- Mom!
- Get off of me!
787
00:50:15,971 --> 00:50:18,932
Let go of him! Mom!
788
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,475
Mom!
789
00:50:21,643 --> 00:50:22,477
Mom!
790
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:29,901
Open up, you little bitch!
No one fucks with my kids!
791
00:50:30,485 --> 00:50:32,404
Mom!
792
00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:36,825
What are you doing?
793
00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:41,913
Mom? No, Mom, stop it!
794
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:43,749
What are you doing?
That's not even his car!
795
00:50:46,334 --> 00:50:50,130
About time we busted the fuck outta here.
This one felt like forever.
796
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:53,300
Yeah, all these stank-ass bitches
are starting to get on my nerves.
797
00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:54,384
Like this one.
798
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:56,970
-Fuck you, Aleida.
-Bye, girl. Love you.
799
00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:58,180
Keep it moving, ladies.
800
00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:00,891
I can't say goodbye to my friends?
Fucking friend police over here.
801
00:51:00,974 --> 00:51:03,018
Yeah, you can't talk to us
like that anymore,
802
00:51:03,101 --> 00:51:04,811
'cause we're free, bitch!
803
00:51:06,563 --> 00:51:08,065
Ugh. You mean you're free.
804
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,317
I'm getting released back
to the evil drunk I came from.
805
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,652
-I'm surprised she even showed up.
-Why don't you just ditch her ass
806
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:13,987
and come live with me
and my brother, Ricky?
807
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,405
What? Sling dope?
808
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,491
Nah, you don't gotta sling nothing.
Just package.
809
00:51:17,574 --> 00:51:19,743
Ricky slings. Trust me,
it is much better than tricking.
810
00:51:19,826 --> 00:51:20,827
And the money's better, too.
811
00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:23,080
Your brother, he cute?
812
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:24,164
Ew!
813
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:26,625
Yeah.
814
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:38,053
Can't believe I had to come
all the way out here for this shit.
815
00:51:38,136 --> 00:51:40,472
Yeah, I'm sure you had
a real productive day planned.
816
00:51:40,555 --> 00:51:42,099
You little brat.
817
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:45,102
You're lucky your father's
back in the pen.
818
00:51:45,185 --> 00:51:48,522
Otherwise, he would beat your stupid ass,
the way you talk to me.
819
00:51:48,897 --> 00:51:50,524
Oh, yeah? What he do this time?
820
00:51:50,607 --> 00:51:52,317
None of your business what he did.
821
00:51:52,859 --> 00:51:54,111
What up, sluts?
822
00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:56,113
Who the fuck is this?
823
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:57,781
You must be the deadbeat mom.
824
00:51:57,864 --> 00:52:00,992
Now I see what you mean.
Aleida, this is my brother, Ricky.
825
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:03,787
- Oh, damn. He is cute.
- Ew!
826
00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:06,039
-You want a ride?
-She ain't goin' nowhere with you.
827
00:52:06,498 --> 00:52:08,875
Aleida, where you goin?
Aleida, open the door.
828
00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:11,962
Aleida! Aleida! Aleida, get back here!
829
00:52:12,587 --> 00:52:14,798
Aleida! Aleida!
830
00:52:20,053 --> 00:52:24,057
Oh. Looks like the casserole
did not go over very well.
831
00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:25,600
Perhaps it's a hunger strike.
832
00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:29,187
-Yeah, more like a will to live.
-Oh, for fuck's sake!
833
00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,024
Jeez, relax, Red!
They can't all be home runs.
834
00:52:34,943 --> 00:52:38,071
You think you're so funny,
don't you, Nicky?
835
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:39,990
Making fun of the work I'm doing,
836
00:52:40,073 --> 00:52:43,910
while you're over here joking around
with your new flavor of the week.
837
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:46,454
Who knew you were so into caramel?
838
00:52:47,122 --> 00:52:48,123
Seriously?
839
00:52:48,206 --> 00:52:52,711
Okay, everybody, relax.
It was just a little screw up, right, Red?
840
00:52:53,503 --> 00:52:56,006
That's right, Gloria.
And maybe if I had a kitchen staff
841
00:52:56,089 --> 00:52:58,258
that was actually helpful
instead of distracted,
842
00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:00,385
we wouldn't be serving food
that's inedible.
843
00:53:05,056 --> 00:53:06,683
Did she forget to cook the pasta?
844
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:14,441
Maybe these ladies
aren't into American food.
845
00:53:15,108 --> 00:53:17,861
I'm gonna take over the stove,
make some Latin dishes.
846
00:53:17,944 --> 00:53:20,071
That way you could take a break.
847
00:53:20,488 --> 00:53:22,073
I don't need a break!
848
00:53:22,157 --> 00:53:24,075
I need a competent kitchen staff
849
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:27,078
that isn't having
a goddamn telenovela in the corner.
850
00:53:29,539 --> 00:53:31,458
I'm just trying to help you, Red.
851
00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:35,003
Leave it alone, Gloria.
I'm not in the mood.
852
00:53:46,973 --> 00:53:50,644
Wow. You really cleaned up in here.
Did you get the phones working yet?
853
00:53:50,727 --> 00:53:52,771
Yep, and I'm almost done
with the receipts.
854
00:53:52,854 --> 00:53:55,815
You wanna know how much
the last warden spent on coffee?
855
00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:59,236
-No. No, I don't.
-It was a lot.
856
00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:01,363
Now, you said that you wanted to make
857
00:54:01,446 --> 00:54:03,573
an appearance in each block every day.
858
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:06,451
This might be a good time
to do your face-show,
859
00:54:06,534 --> 00:54:08,286
because you don't have
anything until 3:00,
860
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:12,165
and I know that you get bummed
when you don't have your lunch.
861
00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,376
Look at you with the time management.
862
00:54:14,459 --> 00:54:16,253
Come on, man, don't be surprised.
863
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:19,422
I was always the organized one
and you brought the fun.
864
00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,841
I don't think
I'm very much fun these days.
865
00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:24,594
Well, I can schedule it in for you,
if you need me to.
866
00:55:10,098 --> 00:55:11,016
Fuck.
867
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:36,833
The guy said
he called you three times.
868
00:55:36,916 --> 00:55:39,753
Do you have any idea
how much breast milk you wasted?
869
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:41,504
That was date night, Cal.
870
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:44,674
That was a chance for me to go work
at the forge for a few hours.
871
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:47,260
That was my freedom in that freezer!
872
00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:49,763
It's only a little warm.
It will refreeze.
873
00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:52,390
No, Cal. You can't refreeze it.
874
00:55:52,474 --> 00:55:55,810
And it only lasts 24 hours after it thaws,
so you know what?
875
00:55:55,894 --> 00:55:58,855
You're gonna drink
this breast milk smoothie right now.
876
00:55:58,938 --> 00:56:03,109
I worked too damn hard milking myself
to watch it all thrown down the drain.
877
00:56:07,113 --> 00:56:08,406
I hope you're thirsty, Piper.
878
00:56:08,490 --> 00:56:10,492
I am so sorry, Neri.
879
00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:13,286
Drink up. It's got tons of antibodies.
880
00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:05,547
Hey. Hey.
881
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,299
Who are you?
882
00:57:10,009 --> 00:57:11,803
Where is Maritza Ramos?
This is her bunk.
883
00:57:11,886 --> 00:57:13,680
Did she come here with you?
71148
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.