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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:09,009 me changement 2 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:15,310 spare some change kit 3 00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:23,550 excuse me sir I got nothing you want to 4 00:00:23,550 --> 00:00:24,869 tell me you got nothing 5 00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:26,759 take the jangling change out of your 6 00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:29,040 [ __ ] pocket first and the ones that 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,590 do stop to give you something they they 8 00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,809 all got that self-satisfied grin all 9 00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:36,090 over their smug faces like they've just 10 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:37,920 confirmed that they really are the most 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,629 impressive [ __ ] thing in the world 12 00:00:39,629 --> 00:00:41,760 and you just got to bow your head and 13 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,040 say god bless you as if there isn't an 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,860 actual exchange going on your bloated 15 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,350 sense of self-worth is equal to the hole 16 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,850 that's been ripped out of my dignity 17 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,700 through you jerks you don't choose to be 18 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,250 me you start off with dreams and 19 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:58,500 optimism and hard work and then you 20 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,780 realize that those qualities were 21 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:03,149 planted in you by the same force that's 22 00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:05,369 been conniving the space you apart with 23 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,890 a [ __ ] sledgehammer and then when 24 00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:09,750 you're lying on the floor begging that 25 00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:12,750 force for help you notice my god it's 26 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:15,090 laughing and that's when it hits you 27 00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:17,700 that this evil books has been laughing 28 00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,280 the entire [ __ ] time and the only way 29 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,140 you're going to shut it up is to laugh 30 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:25,140 right back in its face and twice as hard 31 00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:29,039 I sleep in that Columbus some [ __ ] 32 00:01:29,039 --> 00:01:30,630 doesn't sneak in there first 33 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,849 the last prick I got in there still 34 00:01:32,849 --> 00:01:34,920 picking the glass out of his face 35 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,289 there's a place to piss out here a place 36 00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:39,840 to share to place to [ __ ] and a place to 37 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,270 die and the only thing they got in 38 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:45,789 common is you wouldn't be caught dead 39 00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:47,890 but don't even think this [ __ ] can't 40 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,350 happen to you I wasn't born in a puddle 41 00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:53,409 I used to be an executive I started in 42 00:01:53,409 --> 00:01:56,020 the mailroom underground before I earned 43 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:59,229 19 raises and shot up 42 floors 44 00:01:59,229 --> 00:02:01,450 to have my own personal view of this 45 00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:05,799 whole [ __ ] cesspool I was also 46 00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:08,619 married to a wife a beautiful one in a 47 00:02:08,619 --> 00:02:09,310 dress 48 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:12,220 she smelled like my mother she kissed me 49 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,830 whenever I wanted and she cried when I 50 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:18,670 was said I even ran for mayor once a few 51 00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:21,489 years ago it wasn't my idea if it was up 52 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,500 to me I just tell everybody to go [ __ ] 53 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,190 themselves but this game the politicians 54 00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:29,230 insisted I was relatable before they 55 00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,299 filled me full of drugs and forced me 56 00:02:31,299 --> 00:02:38,260 onto their campaign he was in my cabinet 57 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,290 the angle was I knew the street so who 58 00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:43,780 better to clean him up I apparently was 59 00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:45,579 in the lead because the other guy had a 60 00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:48,670 harelip and I told it like it was but 61 00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:51,250 then the opposition invited me to this 62 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,889 sort of debutante dinner party where I 63 00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:56,319 was framed for fingering a bunch of 64 00:02:56,319 --> 00:03:00,069 animals the smear campaign was too much 65 00:03:00,069 --> 00:03:03,040 for my wife and she blew herself up at a 66 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,639 press conference 67 00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:18,140 with the pox there Oh what is this is 68 00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:20,300 this the part where you all jump out is 69 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,000 that your big [ __ ] plan 70 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,130 [ __ ] you [ __ ] you bastard you're dead 71 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,200 [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] 72 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,350 you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you back I 73 00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:32,630 still have a list of my policy for if I 74 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,510 did or ever do in mayor I'd start by 75 00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:37,430 tearing down every [ __ ] billboard in 76 00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:39,320 the country and the ones that are left 77 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,360 standing would say horrible horrible 78 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,430 [ __ ] that would just make you cute 79 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:46,760 then I'd shut down every TV station make 80 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,980 everyone live in the forest and every 81 00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:51,830 CEO of every corporate [ __ ] house would 82 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,600 have to cut their heads off in front of 83 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,180 everyone and we'd still have a long 84 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:59,570 [ __ ] way to go I mean look around and 85 00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,070 you think it's normal because it's all 86 00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,020 you ever see but TV didn't exist a 87 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,540 hundred years ago condoms didn't exist a 88 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:07,700 hundred years ago the [ __ ] smart bomb 89 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,430 didn't exist a hundred years ago but you 90 00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,950 just dive right in nose first into the 91 00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:15,080 muck and hide behind your stupid 92 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,390 ignorance as an excuse for abandoning 93 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,060 nature and abandoning God and if you 94 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,280 think I'm an [ __ ] just flip open to 95 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,500 any [ __ ] page of the Bible then look 96 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,540 up at the squalor you're boiling in and 97 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,610 you [ __ ] tell me we're not living in 98 00:04:28,610 --> 00:04:30,740 wrong and don't get me started on those 99 00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:33,170 [ __ ] handheld idiot boxes you're all 100 00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:34,610 walking around like a bunch of 101 00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:37,220 sleepwalking morons with your faces and 102 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:39,080 your phones and your phones down here so 103 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,340 really what you're looking at is the 104 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:43,190 ground man they got you living your 105 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:45,410 entire life staring into this this 106 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,570 little mirror where you just marvel at 107 00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,490 your own drooling reflection and your 108 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,830 ego bathes in itself and your whole 109 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,140 [ __ ] life goes by and a meaningless 110 00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,600 blip and even that slips it's shorter 111 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,250 now it's because of that [ __ ] phone 112 00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:02,120 because it's pumping toxic waves of DNA 113 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,910 mutating crap into your body and fill in 114 00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:07,280 your prostate you just did and your 115 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,530 brains which can 116 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,540 and it's doing it at all times around 117 00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:12,910 the [ __ ] clock even while you're 118 00:05:12,910 --> 00:05:15,640 asleep and why so you can delete your 119 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:25,030 [ __ ] email and don't even get me 120 00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:30,310 started on AIDS when I was 10 my uncle 121 00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,110 came to live with us to sleep on the 122 00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:35,140 couch and hide from some pursuers he 123 00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:38,530 wasn't allowed to talk about one night 124 00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:42,040 he was ranting about how some spooks had 125 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,380 replaced his normal hair with electronic 126 00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:47,800 recording strands but when he tried to 127 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,750 burn those strands out of his head his 128 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,790 whole body caught fire and spread to the 129 00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:54,370 house immediately since he'd riddled the 130 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:58,120 place with flammable booby traps my 131 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,250 parents were sleeping upstairs and died 132 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:03,850 in the blaze I was sleeping in my tree 133 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,980 house that night which was right outside 134 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:08,169 their windows so I was at the perfect 135 00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:14,140 angle to hear the screams I had earlier 136 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,570 been diagnosed with the same disorder as 137 00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:19,960 my uncle but my prescription burned up 138 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:28,870 in the fire so I forget I remember the 139 00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:31,990 pills were yellow and while they did 140 00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,300 lower the volume of everyone shouting 141 00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,669 they would also turn your teeth black 142 00:06:36,669 --> 00:06:38,560 and make your dreams tell you to break 143 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,919 things 144 00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:45,700 you know if Freud says about the nature 145 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,880 of [ __ ] he says it's when the home 146 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,530 becomes on home like one Heimlich and 147 00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:55,960 that's what this place has become this 148 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,840 whole [ __ ] time and country and 149 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,660 everything else its environment and I 150 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:04,570 want my life to mean something I want to 151 00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,220 change things around and make something 152 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:09,670 beautiful out of all this [ __ ] even now 153 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,770 when I sleep I have dreams that would 154 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:18,600 make you cry big colorful dreams where 155 00:07:26,669 --> 00:07:29,810 that's my daughter 156 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,150 you 11214

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