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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:30,370 One to 17. One 1017. 2 00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:32,579 Then the kissing scene in Paris. 3 00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:36,291 Repeat, one to 17, one to 17. 4 00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:39,200 Then the kissing scene in Paris. 5 00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:42,659 The one to 17, one to 17. 6 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,915 About ten seconds. 7 00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:46,915 Harris just before one. 8 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:50,200 One to 17. I'm nearly there. 9 00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,787 Hey, don't bother. I can walk. 10 00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:16,370 You'd be safer if I drive you. Excuse me. 11 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,079 One to 17 in one minute. 12 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,083 We're driving to 17. I don't want anything to happen to you. 13 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,536 For insurance reasons. 14 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,949 It's three yards, what could possibly happen? 15 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,451 Can you watch it with your damn baguettes, please? 16 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,500 -I just want you to be well. - I prefer to walk. 17 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:36,374 I can do this myself, thanks. 18 00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:38,374 Okay. Alone. 19 00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:41,079 I see. Okay, we'll do it like that. 20 00:01:42,292 --> 00:01:43,498 Alone... 21 00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:48,324 Harris here, on the way to 17. 22 00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,540 About 20 seconds. 23 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:55,326 And one still on the way to 17, another 10 seconds. 24 00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:58,700 One to 17, slight delay. 25 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,123 One keeps going. 26 00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:04,999 And we... 27 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,161 are there. 28 00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:14,159 Hey, I'm guessing he needs two minutes as usual. 29 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,166 Why so long? Rehearsal is running late. 30 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,574 No idea. What did he eat? 31 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,866 Chicken with broccoli, as usual. 32 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:25,865 Maybe he has an upset stomach. Then we'll have to go to the doctor. 33 00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:29,160 Plus, we're shooting 34 later, the love scene. 34 00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,745 What if he needs to puke then? 35 00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:34,784 It'll be a huge mess if he pukes on the actress. 36 00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,915 We'd need to clean that up. 37 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:39,165 You're right, I better go in. 38 00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:46,617 One ready for rehearsal. We're getting ready to shoot. 39 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,910 Guys, get ready to shoot. Let's go. 40 00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:24,499 LOVE THING 41 00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,783 -Marvin. -Marvin. 42 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,078 Well? 43 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,412 Hey, a quick, important question, tell me... 44 00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:00,749 Am I still a feminist 45 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,163 if I watch "Bang Bus" for masturbation purposes? 46 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:05,953 -"Bang Bus"? -Yes. 47 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:09,166 Okay, I look forward to the storyline. 48 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,494 Well... 49 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,162 There's a bus with horny guys, 50 00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:16,489 and it's going round the country, and the leader... 51 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,375 runs around outside, grabs a passer-by and bangs her. 52 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,166 Maybe you want a Neanderthal to drag you into his bus. 53 00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:25,995 -How long since you last had sex? -Oh. 54 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,000 I hope it doesn't grow over like pierced earlobes do. 55 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,332 You're so silly. 56 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,665 Maybe I'm just into buses. 57 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:36,825 Ever since we haven't been able to afford bus tickets. 58 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,990 How much is still in there? 59 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,535 Hey. 60 00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:10,665 What are you doing here? 61 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,323 Come on over here. 62 00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:14,498 Want a treat? 63 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:17,868 Here, look. Want to have a steak with me later? 64 00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,116 I have to work, then I have time. 65 00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:23,739 Abi, who are you talking to? I just called you. 66 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,742 -No one. -Here are your press clothes. 67 00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:29,454 Chatting with the dog? You're turning into a potato. 68 00:07:29,708 --> 00:07:32,200 He says he loves me and that I'm special. 69 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:36,323 How about a woman for a change? Those creatures who lie at your feet. 70 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,995 He has the wickedest life and wastes it. 71 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,909 I don't want a hookup who'll take nude pics of me in secret. 72 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,745 Oh God. Still traumatized by willy-gate? 73 00:07:44,917 --> 00:07:47,909 Your ugly nuts had two million clicks in five minutes. 74 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:51,364 - I hate you when you talk like that. -You don't have a girlfriend. 75 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:55,289 But I'm working my butt off. That's the difference, my friend. 76 00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,495 What about our sweet Sammy here? 77 00:07:57,667 --> 00:08:01,490 Whose last snog was in the 18th century. With fat Kevin from the kiosk. 78 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:06,076 -You bossed him around. -Was he lisping during the kiss? 79 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:09,368 I don't need a guy, okay? You two are enough of a pain. 80 00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:12,037 But it's okay too. None of us is having any luck. 81 00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:14,791 As superheroes, we'd be the "Unfuckables". 82 00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:16,369 You maybe. I'm having luck. 83 00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:19,993 The cousin of a friend, you don't know her, she's coming tonight. 84 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,578 And she's bringing a friend. 85 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,208 "Cousin" means he stalked someone on Instagram. 86 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:27,208 Can we put some more people on the guest list? 87 00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,286 You're "plus two" on the list. 88 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,950 -So now "plus three", or what? -Well... 89 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:33,957 Plus 30, more like. 90 00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:36,074 Same shit every time. 91 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,742 I might have talked about it in my neighborhood. 92 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:43,201 -I've got egg on my face if you deny me. -Come on, Sammy. 93 00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:46,083 Little Joe here has a reputation to lose. 94 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,832 Okay, I surrender. 95 00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:51,621 "Hakan plus 30 cousins." 96 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,365 -There you go. -Can we cancel Bamberger? 97 00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:58,284 She'll only ask me what my dream woman looks like. 98 00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,745 Okay, Abi, I get you. 99 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,705 But you made a film. Tonight's the premiere. 100 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:08,743 And they all want to know how great it is and how great you are. 101 00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:11,329 -Okay? -If only that were the case. 102 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,244 Hey. 103 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,332 Today is his birthday, by the way. 104 00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,491 Do you think of him? 105 00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,908 Yes, I do. 106 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,332 But what are we supposed to do? 107 00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,949 Stop beating yourself up. 108 00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:33,371 If I didn't know it's a German thing, I'd say you'll get depressed. 109 00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:37,323 I get depressed when I think of your sex life, okay? 110 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,207 Okay, off to the zoo. 111 00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:41,615 See you. 112 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,874 DREAM GUY 113 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,036 What? I'm starving. 114 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,494 Listen up, people. I'm Hakan. I'm Marvin's best friend. 115 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:08,160 And if some of you are lacking in the technology department, 116 00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,328 I run the sickest cell phone shop in Neukölln. 117 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,784 Hello, we spoke on the phone. I'm... 118 00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:15,783 -Hello, I'm... -Bettina Bamberger 119 00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:17,915 -"The Big Interview on Sunday". -Right. 120 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:22,115 If you ever want to interview the friend behind the stars, I'm in. 121 00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:25,250 You are a disgrace. We stick to the agreement, yes? 122 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,489 No private questions and he won't talk about the nude pics. 123 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:31,989 -Of course. Don't worry, it'll be tame. -Good. 124 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:35,080 -Hello, I'm Bettina's assistant. -Samira. 125 00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:40,240 Since you're free to shake hands I'm guessing my coffee is ready, Markus? 126 00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,579 -Coffee. -See you. 127 00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,408 -Hello. -Hi, Ferda from the distributor. 128 00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,705 Hi. This is Benni, Manuela, Milka, Sascha and Steffi. 129 00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:03,541 -Nice to meet you. -Oh, sorry. 130 00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:09,994 Hello, I'm Ulrike, or Ulki. We'll be doing the "Kinoboom" interview. 131 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,000 I have my team with me for the social media clips. 132 00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:16,080 -Franzi, Berti and Jamila. -Hi, hello. 133 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,332 -Can we take a picture? -Standing up, right? 134 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,241 Yes, sure. There's Robert. 135 00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:23,739 Not from below. I'll look like an exploded dumpling. 136 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,079 -Hello, dream guy. -Hello. 137 00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:29,409 Hey, may I ask you a tricky question beforehand? 138 00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:32,500 No questions that haven't been agreed on. 139 00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:35,250 A little bit of variety might be good, right? 140 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:39,911 Well, your new film "Dream Guy" starts in theaters on Thursday. 141 00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:44,121 What would your dream woman be like? 142 00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:48,074 Shall we talk about something else? 143 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,117 Our female viewers are interested in your love life. 144 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,458 It'd be interesting to talk about 145 00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:57,367 how the script came about or what the shoot was like, 146 00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:01,038 with colleagues, some of whom have acted on major theater stages. 147 00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:05,122 Well, unknown theater actors aren't so interesting. 148 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,867 But is a well-known actor worth more? 149 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:10,207 This is getting philosophical. 150 00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,449 Let's talk about other people then. 151 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,536 Are the butter truffles still coming? 152 00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:16,790 Is there someone special in your life? 153 00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:20,614 Our female viewers haven't seen you with a woman in a long time. 154 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:24,083 What's going on with you and love? 155 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,369 Sorry. 156 00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,991 Do we want to continue at this level? 157 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,491 I have good news for you, Mr. Bosch. 158 00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:36,455 In terms of the level... I'm adaptable. 159 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,992 Up and down. Where would you like it? 160 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:42,493 - I think we'll take a break now. -Let's get off the beaten track. 161 00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,578 That makes it more interesting for me too. 162 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:45,990 -Okay. -Yes? 163 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,615 -Now I'm curious. -Fine. 164 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:50,742 One moment, please, Bettina. The sound is rustling. 165 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:54,285 -Stick with the shit we agreed on. -It's an interview. 166 00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:56,783 -Not open-heart surgery. -Okay. 167 00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:59,495 But there's nothing I can do once it's underway. 168 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:03,663 -Good news, the sound is back on. -Wonderful. 169 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,457 Are rumors to be believed 170 00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:09,700 that your film partner, the beautiful Saskia Dobrian... 171 00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,036 is an alcoholic? 172 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,533 Oh, that's nonsense, of course. 173 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,750 I thought I'd ask directly. You should know about this. 174 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:22,574 Yes, according to our latest research, your father was an alcoholic. 175 00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:27,539 You did extra research for that? You wanted to change the level. 176 00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:31,531 You come from Neukölln, a pretty tough area in Berlin. 177 00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:35,030 When you were nine years old, your mother died of cancer. 178 00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:37,199 I'm very sorry, Mr. Bosch. 179 00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,332 And what's the question? 180 00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:44,324 How was that for you? 181 00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:48,034 How was it when my mother died? Seriously? 182 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:51,701 What's it like to be all alone in the world, Mr. Bosch? 183 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,119 He wasn't alone. 184 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,037 He had us. We were his family, so to speak. 185 00:13:57,292 --> 00:14:00,284 You couldn't help her, and I would understand 186 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,120 you becoming a bit of a delinquent. 187 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:08,198 I admit, I didn't pay for my Snickers a few times. 188 00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:09,911 Guilty as charged. 189 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,747 And was it really just a Snickers? What else are you hiding? 190 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:18,081 Do you like taking on other roles so you can feel something? 191 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,742 -Ridiculous. -Would your mother be proud of you? 192 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,698 -That's enough, Ms. Bamberger. -What would she think of you today? 193 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,786 I need five minutes. 194 00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:42,665 -Oh my God. -Rad. Is that him? 195 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,494 -Is that him? -Yes. 196 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,533 Can we have a selfie? 197 00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,412 Listen, Marvin, my little birdie. 198 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,575 -This is very important now. -Okay. 199 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:42,199 When Child Protective Services call, don't tell them your dad drinks, okay? 200 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,787 Or they'll take you away when I'm gone. 201 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,743 Look at it this way, you get to tell a lie with my permission. 202 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,536 Cool, right? 203 00:15:57,292 --> 00:15:59,579 Maybe I'm bored in paradise, 204 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,082 then I'll come see you every now and then. 205 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,787 And I'll check if you're a good boy. 206 00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:07,078 But... 207 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:11,448 why do I need to be a good boy if it won't make you stay here? 208 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,581 Look. 209 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:20,325 This way, you're always with me. Come here. 210 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:31,035 Remember, only a man who has respect, 211 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:32,994 who doesn't let anyone down, 212 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:36,330 who never breaks the law, is a real man. 213 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,117 Will you be a real man, my little one? 214 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:42,907 Come here. 215 00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:49,041 But how will you come visit me? 216 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,957 What is all this shit? Marvin! 217 00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:02,372 Yes, but he must be somewhere, our girls' dream. 218 00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,583 Markus, start with the post. I need close-ups of Marvin's face. 219 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,583 Everything is going on there. The rage. The hurt. 220 00:17:09,708 --> 00:17:13,952 I know this kind of trash childhood. There's dirt to be dug up. 221 00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:18,489 What if we have a sold out show tonight? 222 00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,780 How many more times? With the rent increase, we can't do it. 223 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,290 Actually, we'll have to lay all of them off. 224 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:28,780 Either way, the lights will go out in three weeks at the latest. 225 00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:33,824 Cucumber or seasoning salt with butter? 226 00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:38,031 The organic cheese really is outrageously expensive right now. 227 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,741 -Rocco, a sandwich for you? -I'd love one. 228 00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:42,624 There's only light in my fridge now. 229 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:45,458 -Wiebke? -Not for me. I feel sick. 230 00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,287 -From the new damn antidepressants. -Hans? 231 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,161 Nope. I'm vegan again as of how. 232 00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,540 I watched some animal protection videos. 233 00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:56,910 -Zelda, don't give us any freebies. -It's just sandwiches. 234 00:17:57,167 --> 00:18:00,125 How else could I thank you girls? 235 00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:03,580 For me, there's only welfare or hell. Both are similar. 236 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,700 And you two, you're heaven. 237 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:09,369 Seasoning salt and butter. 238 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,375 I have one more surprise up my sleeve. 239 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,789 After the show, we'll have my magic mushroom tea. Already bottled. 240 00:18:17,042 --> 00:18:20,364 It will blast through your happiness synapses. 241 00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:25,040 But just half a cup each, I don't want you all to be too happy afterwards. 242 00:18:25,292 --> 00:18:26,999 Well, that... 243 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,705 is always my worry too, that I'm too happy. 244 00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:33,499 Oh God. 245 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,790 MARVIN, YOU'RE MY DREAM GUY 246 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,874 MR. BOSCH, MY HEART ONLY BEATS FOR YOU 247 00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:53,530 -Marvin! -Want an autograph? 248 00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,949 What for? To give it to my granny? 249 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,661 I'm waiting for Marvin. 250 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,536 Understandable. She'll keep going. 251 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,666 -We're waiting for tonight's star... -And here he is. 252 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,165 -...Marvin. -Jens, what's up, buddy? 253 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,371 -Rainer, we're waiting for Marvin. -For Marvin? 254 00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:17,623 -That's right. -Yeah. 255 00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,203 I love you! 256 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,992 WORLD PREMIERE - DREAM GUY 257 00:19:32,292 --> 00:19:34,750 Oh God, he's actually doing the pistols. 258 00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:38,450 - Can't watch. -Why doesn't anyone tell him? 259 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,909 -Oh God. -And now he's coming up. 260 00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:57,371 -Isn't that Marvin? -Isn't that Marvin? 261 00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,874 -Look. -No, it's not him. 262 00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:01,911 Yes, it is him. 263 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,957 Samira, Samira. 264 00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:10,865 Hey, you look like a million dollars. Amazing. My compliments. 265 00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:14,364 Do you think Marvin is up for doing my fitness app with me"? 266 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:17,000 -Nowadays, it's all apps. -Well, Rainer... 267 00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:20,080 If I can give you some advice, it's your app... 268 00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,328 You're the star. 269 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,956 You should do it on your own. 270 00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,036 Samira, thanks. 271 00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,123 You're a real darling. 272 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:32,541 I'd like to stay, but my fans are waiting. 273 00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,699 -So... -All right. Wow. 274 00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:38,370 Yo, homie. Is Marvin on his way? 275 00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:41,704 "Homie"? Seriously? 276 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,412 You know I'm a woman, right? 277 00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,368 Excuse me... 278 00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:48,658 We're not in a racist series 279 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:51,416 where Hakan and I do drug deals out of our kebab shop. 280 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,955 You go check if our actress isn't sloshed again, 281 00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:57,492 and I think I've got a handle on this here. 282 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,707 -Yo. -Yo. 283 00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:07,874 -Shut the door! -Hansjörg... 284 00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:11,580 -Ouch, my extensions. -Go on, shut that door! Sorry, honey... 285 00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:30,082 I'll be right there. I went for a walk. 286 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,655 -I'm just leaving. -All right. See you. 287 00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:35,493 Bye. 288 00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,448 CHRISTMAS PUSSY! 289 00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:03,456 I have a question right away. Are you a woman men fall in love with? 290 00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:06,370 Yes? And you? Are you the marrying type? 291 00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,994 Maybe, I see. Nice. 292 00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:11,457 Congrats, because I'm not. 293 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,743 Yes, I'm the personal low point in the life of a man. 294 00:22:18,083 --> 00:22:21,656 Because I don't feel like having to explain to other people, 295 00:22:21,917 --> 00:22:26,662 to men who have managed to get a degree, 296 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:30,872 how the clitoris works, or an orgasm. 297 00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:33,958 What were those guys doing while I spent years 298 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:37,618 getting acquainted with a diversity of testicles? 299 00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,786 Yes, that's sad. 300 00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:45,539 That's why I invented something: the intercourse driver's license. 301 00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:47,665 Yes. Yes. 302 00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:54,369 I imagine it so. It has a theoretical and a practical test. 303 00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:57,000 Let's picture the following scenario. 304 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,204 The guy is at yours, or you're at his, 305 00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:02,083 and he opens his fly, so... 306 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,870 Meep. Question round. Where are my erogenous zones? 307 00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:08,083 Where is the G-spot and how long is the female cycle? 308 00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:14,161 Additional question for a blow job? Who or what is progesterone? 309 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:16,911 Yes. 310 00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:21,080 Theoretical test passed, let's go on with the practical part. 311 00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:25,872 The candidate in question is asked to go to a drugstore 312 00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:30,665 where he needs to buy a menstruation cup and a remedy for a yeast infection. 313 00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:32,744 Yes. 314 00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:35,500 Right, and if they do that without any mistakes, 315 00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:38,947 congrats, open your fly, you passed the test. 316 00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:43,656 And now have fun with The Tamponettes, choreographed by Jacky Schröder. 317 00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:27,331 ABSENT FROM HIS OWN PREMIERE. MELTDOWN DURING INTERVIEW. 318 00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:29,744 Fuck. 319 00:26:38,542 --> 00:26:41,614 -He ruined my vulva. -Isn't he that... 320 00:26:41,792 --> 00:26:44,864 That film guy. That... love thing. 321 00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,911 -Who? -My daughters are obsessed with him. 322 00:26:47,167 --> 00:26:50,455 -The one with the films. -Hey stranger, got the wrong pussy? 323 00:26:50,708 --> 00:26:52,369 Is that one of your exes? 324 00:26:52,542 --> 00:26:54,954 I'm not wearing my contact lenses. 325 00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:59,824 -Men all have similar faces. -The fog, like in a magic forest. 326 00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:02,199 Then I fell into this huge pussy. 327 00:27:02,375 --> 00:27:04,912 Yes. Right, but you're coming out of there, no? 328 00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:08,080 -You can't stay in there. -I can, it's cozy. 329 00:27:08,333 --> 00:27:10,495 -Come on in. -You come out. 330 00:27:11,208 --> 00:27:13,620 Don't worry, I'll stay with you forever. 331 00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:16,207 -My mother appeared to me. -He finished the bottle. 332 00:27:16,458 --> 00:27:19,746 -From now on, it's going to be okay. -It's always nutcases who are into you. 333 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,367 -Wicked. -Hey, plumber woman, hands off. 334 00:27:22,625 --> 00:27:25,333 -Hey! -It's a misunderstanding. 335 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,494 She's a metaphor for the woman. 336 00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:30,625 She is the blood. We became really good friends. 337 00:27:30,875 --> 00:27:32,331 He nearly choked me to death. 338 00:27:32,583 --> 00:27:36,406 -We'll take her to the premiere. -The premiere is over for you. 339 00:27:36,667 --> 00:27:41,241 It's a classic Me Too situation, right? I didn't do anything. Who's the nut job? 340 00:27:41,417 --> 00:27:43,203 Sorry, who are you anyway? 341 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:46,618 -Can we take a selfie? -No way. So... 342 00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:49,580 If he's such a star, you're insured, right? 343 00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:52,791 Because my vagina has a minimum value of 80 euros. 344 00:27:52,958 --> 00:27:56,656 Okay, I'll pay for that but I don't have any money on me. We need to go. 345 00:27:57,833 --> 00:28:00,746 You sound like all my ex-girlfriends combined. 346 00:28:01,792 --> 00:28:04,989 -Hansjörg, help me. -First, the money. 347 00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:07,283 -Then the psycho can go. -Good grief. 348 00:28:07,542 --> 00:28:10,204 This is a proper menstruation inferno here. 349 00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:19,030 If the big star isn't coming now, I'd need to know. 350 00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:23,160 Then I'd score a soccer player or a real estate agent. 351 00:28:23,792 --> 00:28:26,830 -Well... -Is Marvin your friend? He'd be here. 352 00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:40,740 It's bigger than my bed. Crazy. Loads of chips. 353 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,456 -Is someone calling? -Chips. 354 00:28:42,625 --> 00:28:44,616 Hey, girls, someone want a beer? 355 00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:47,333 -So much water. Who needs all that? -Shit. 356 00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,241 The gossip hounds are outside your door. 357 00:28:49,417 --> 00:28:51,749 Wild. If I press here, it goes backwards. 358 00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:54,824 -His head's hanging out the window. -Help! 359 00:28:56,917 --> 00:28:58,703 -Did I do that? -Pull him back in! 360 00:28:58,958 --> 00:28:59,993 -Shit. -Thank God. 361 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,870 How long have you been a real estate agent? 362 00:29:05,042 --> 00:29:06,624 It's been ten years already. 363 00:29:06,792 --> 00:29:08,374 -Ten years? -It's going well. 364 00:29:08,542 --> 00:29:10,749 -Wow. -It's so exciting. 365 00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,705 Are you looking for something? I can show you some stuff. 366 00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:15,957 Well, a loft wouldn't be half-bad. 367 00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:17,991 Here in the building, for instance? 368 00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:22,448 Okay, it might not be an exciting topic for you, but... 369 00:29:22,625 --> 00:29:26,368 -Can he die of that? -Not if he pukes in 30 minutes. 370 00:29:27,458 --> 00:29:30,746 -And if he doesn't? -Then an emergency room would be good. 371 00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:34,788 But don't worry. I only know two or three people who died of it. 372 00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:37,124 -And they took a lot of other stuff. -Okay. 373 00:29:40,958 --> 00:29:43,871 Are you serious? What are we going to do now? 374 00:29:44,042 --> 00:29:46,454 That son of a bitch is my entire childhood. 375 00:29:47,208 --> 00:29:50,200 -I'd do anything for him. -Put a finger down his throat. 376 00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,624 Are you nuts? I don't want to see his puke. 377 00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,365 Oh God. 378 00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:57,244 Watch out, Zelda. 379 00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,082 Hey, hello. Come. 380 00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,332 -Let's do something nice. -Like what? 381 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,706 Come on. 382 00:30:06,708 --> 00:30:09,780 -What are we doing? -I'll show you now. 383 00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:14,572 - I don't believe this. -She's not actually doing it, is she? 384 00:30:58,750 --> 00:31:00,616 I'll go get some money. 385 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,533 A magnificent girl. 386 00:31:02,708 --> 00:31:04,290 She's so feisty. 387 00:31:11,625 --> 00:31:14,413 Look, he's watching himself puke. 388 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:19,413 "Marvin Bosch's aggressive interview meltdown. 389 00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:22,409 The star was absent from his own premiere! 390 00:31:22,583 --> 00:31:24,494 Where is Marvin Bosch?" 391 00:31:24,667 --> 00:31:27,079 -Oh dear. -So what? 392 00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,331 Shit. 393 00:31:31,583 --> 00:31:33,039 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 394 00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:35,249 We need to go right now. 395 00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:42,324 -In here. -Wait. 396 00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:45,242 -Wait, I need to puke again. -Be my guest. Go in there. 397 00:31:45,417 --> 00:31:47,078 -Head. -Oh God. 398 00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:49,956 Come, quick. 399 00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,786 You did great. 400 00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:56,494 Now the biggest star in the country has barfed in our car. 401 00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,578 Dear Bettina... 402 00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:02,617 It's been three years now that... 403 00:32:02,792 --> 00:32:05,079 Bettina, darling... Bettin... 404 00:32:06,875 --> 00:32:09,242 Oh, champagne. 405 00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:11,787 This is like a cruise ship. 406 00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:15,416 Sweetie, get me my usual whiskey please? Thanks. 407 00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:17,907 Dear Bettina, 408 00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:21,872 the last three years I was allowed to enjoy your company... 409 00:32:22,042 --> 00:32:23,578 Why are you ranting? 410 00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:27,620 You're just a great woman, so... 411 00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:30,250 You're not easy. No one said that. 412 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,743 You always say what you think, regardless of the consequences. 413 00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:37,035 In bed, you are... well, unusual. 414 00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:40,291 At first, I was scared, but no hard feelings. 415 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,620 Let's drink to that, Bettina... 416 00:32:43,250 --> 00:32:46,697 although we know that alcohol always leads to a scandal. 417 00:32:46,875 --> 00:32:50,413 René, this is a nice evening. 418 00:32:50,583 --> 00:32:53,371 A dozen oysters and a thorough bad-mouthing. 419 00:32:53,542 --> 00:32:56,910 -Cheers, great. No, it's okay. -Moment, there's more. 420 00:32:57,083 --> 00:33:00,155 For me, you're like a highly sensitive, delicate seashell. 421 00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:02,825 -Yes? -With a beautiful pearl inside. 422 00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:08,369 I'm not even talking about the tough shell or the slimy part. 423 00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:10,124 The pearly part. 424 00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,033 Have you been smoking grass again? 425 00:33:12,208 --> 00:33:16,657 Fine, okay, I might have had one or two puffs for the excitement. 426 00:33:18,583 --> 00:33:22,702 Bettina, do you remember insulting me here at the bar three years ago? 427 00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:24,912 You called me a "lazy lover boy". 428 00:33:25,167 --> 00:33:26,783 -Yes. -Good. 429 00:33:26,958 --> 00:33:30,371 You're not totally wrong there, I'll be honest, but today... 430 00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:33,079 Today I would like you... 431 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,332 -Reception is crap here. -...and me... 432 00:33:35,583 --> 00:33:39,030 Will the effing cell phone mafia manage to get us reception for once? 433 00:33:39,292 --> 00:33:41,283 One moment. Thank you. 434 00:33:47,750 --> 00:33:49,991 What, you don't know where Marvin is? 435 00:33:50,167 --> 00:33:53,000 The cell phone photo was sent to the editors. 436 00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:55,161 But we don't know where he is now. 437 00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:58,200 -I wanted to go to a party. -That men have to talk so much... 438 00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:01,572 I don't care what you do in your miserable spare time, Markus. 439 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:05,493 Tell me what the puke looks like and speak up. You're mumbling. 440 00:34:06,708 --> 00:34:09,120 The puke looks... gross. 441 00:34:09,375 --> 00:34:13,073 -What does it taste and smell like? -You want me to taste it? 442 00:34:13,250 --> 00:34:16,322 I tasted Oasis" puke back in the day and got the high of my life. 443 00:34:16,583 --> 00:34:20,121 Collect it and send it to a lab. ! need the results in two hours. 444 00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:22,533 -You what? -Have them analyze the puke. 445 00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:24,954 It's liquid gold. 446 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:50,704 Well, I'm fit again. We can go. 447 00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:52,957 We need to deal with the premiere. 448 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,662 I'll do that. You need to disappear for three or four days. 449 00:34:56,292 --> 00:34:58,533 -You can sleep at ours. -What? 450 00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:00,749 Just because he fell into our cardboard pussy? 451 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,992 -It's a good idea. -No penises at breakfast. 452 00:35:04,250 --> 00:35:07,322 We would pay you for your troubles. 453 00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:11,243 I didn't subjugate myself to the patriarchy to serve a star. 454 00:35:11,875 --> 00:35:13,957 But it wouldn't be for nothing. 455 00:35:19,167 --> 00:35:22,785 Okay, we can listen to the proposal... no commitment. 456 00:35:23,042 --> 00:35:26,239 Come on, leave it, Sammy. Thanks, I'll be fine. 457 00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:30,490 -I prefer going to a hotel. -There are informants in the hotels. 458 00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:33,870 No one suspects you here. It's perfect. 459 00:35:34,542 --> 00:35:37,409 Stay the night or a few days. Then you'll see. 460 00:35:38,042 --> 00:35:40,955 - I have your gear in the car. -But I don't know them. 461 00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:45,198 They dressed up as tampons and dance fertility dances. 462 00:35:45,375 --> 00:35:48,288 Who knows what they'll do? They might be ax murderers. 463 00:35:48,458 --> 00:35:51,450 Nonsense. They are totally cute and innocent. 464 00:35:51,625 --> 00:35:53,992 Hey. You're cute too. 465 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,037 I can't say I'm innocent though. 466 00:35:57,292 --> 00:35:59,750 Darlings, just try. 467 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,662 Maybe you'd even like it at the theater. 468 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:04,323 Okay, why not? 469 00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:08,030 If they are crazy ax murderers, it'll be short and painless. 470 00:36:08,292 --> 00:36:11,364 I promise, we'll cut you up super gently. 471 00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:14,868 Okay, these are the nondisclosure stipulations. 472 00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:18,618 If one of you spills the beans that Marvin is here, 473 00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:21,079 there will be a contractual penalty of 50,000. 474 00:36:22,583 --> 00:36:25,325 I get 50,000 euros if I talk about him? 475 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,867 -That's fantastic. -Nope, Zelda. 476 00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:29,581 It's the other way round. 477 00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:32,741 -That's a pity. -Wait a second. 478 00:36:32,917 --> 00:36:34,749 People, hello! 479 00:36:34,917 --> 00:36:38,330 He acts in films with names like "Horny Dudes", 480 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:41,367 or "Man on the Side", or "Man-life Crisis". 481 00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:43,912 Well, if he doesn't contribute, 482 00:36:44,417 --> 00:36:46,658 I'm afraid we'll have to shut down the theater. 483 00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,540 What? We're broke? 484 00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:52,160 If in three weeks, we replace capitalism with another system of government, 485 00:36:52,417 --> 00:36:53,828 it won't be so bad. 486 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,413 Well, I've been waiting for that too, since 1973. 487 00:36:58,167 --> 00:37:00,249 Well, I'd say... 488 00:37:00,417 --> 00:37:02,704 -Welcome, superstar. -Thank you. 489 00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:09,656 You two live together and you're a lesbian. Does stuff happen sometimes? 490 00:37:09,833 --> 00:37:13,622 Oh my God, the cisgender guy has his sex knowledge from porn. 491 00:37:13,792 --> 00:37:16,250 And what's "cis" again? 492 00:37:16,417 --> 00:37:18,408 The opposite of "trans". 493 00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:22,998 Identification with the sex that was assigned to you at birth. 494 00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:26,614 Okay, Marvin, very good example. 495 00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:29,663 Marvin was born an unenlightened moron with a penis 496 00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:32,575 and will die a moron with a penis. 497 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:33,911 That's "cis". 498 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,909 You're not a transgender guy like Rocco, 499 00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:40,121 you're the born Joe Schmo from Schmotown. 500 00:37:40,375 --> 00:37:43,288 In my case, Joe Schmo is a 100% improvement. 501 00:37:43,542 --> 00:37:45,874 I used to be the low-life Turk. 502 00:37:46,042 --> 00:37:49,114 All those sex-deprived guys who make porn films, 503 00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,874 a cycle of cluelessness. 504 00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:54,163 No one ever finds out how the clitoris works... Beer? 505 00:37:54,875 --> 00:37:58,288 Excuse me, we both know how the clitoris works. 506 00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:00,909 I mean, we're not hicks. 507 00:38:01,875 --> 00:38:02,956 Or cis-hicks. 508 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:05,791 You act like I'm a Neanderthal who clubs a woman 509 00:38:06,042 --> 00:38:07,828 over the head and drags her into his cave. 510 00:38:08,083 --> 00:38:10,620 If there were a bus in play, Frieda would be interested. 511 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:16,492 -Shall we go out? -Oh yes. 512 00:38:17,167 --> 00:38:19,955 There's a party at "Scum" tonight. 513 00:38:20,792 --> 00:38:23,580 I need to disappear, have you forgotten? 514 00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:27,243 Here, you can take these. No one will recognize you in them. 515 00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,865 What is this? 516 00:38:33,625 --> 00:38:34,786 It's a flower. 517 00:38:35,042 --> 00:38:37,579 -I won't go as a flower. - I don't dig it either. 518 00:38:38,208 --> 00:38:41,451 So that, dear specialists, is a clitoris. 519 00:38:43,083 --> 00:38:46,405 And as a rough orientation, it is not located in the throat. 520 00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:49,366 I have heard that before. 521 00:38:49,792 --> 00:38:52,033 Why is the joint called "Scum"? 522 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,866 It's rad how nuts they all look. 523 00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:36,286 Awesome. 524 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,740 They're cool. 525 00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,491 -Can we have two beers? -Coming up, sweetie. 526 00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:43,332 Six euros. 527 00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:46,492 -You look great. -I know. I'm a clitoris. 528 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,915 When did we last really party? 529 00:39:55,083 --> 00:39:57,871 -This is sick here. -It's been ages. 530 00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:01,785 And why is hetero seen as the superior life form? 531 00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:03,448 Here, everyone dances with everyone. 532 00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:07,622 This is about love. Without all that nonsense about relationships. 533 00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:08,998 Yes. 534 00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:11,499 Shit, Jacky's ex-girlfriend Sabine is here. 535 00:40:11,750 --> 00:40:14,367 -Pretend we're having fun, okay? - I hate her. 536 00:40:14,542 --> 00:40:17,034 Nope, I love her. Shit, it's complicated. 537 00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:19,750 -Who? Where? -The angel back there. Don't look. 538 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,330 You think you love her. That's your problem, because you love drama. 539 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,787 -Yes, I know. I know. -What are we waiting for? 540 00:40:25,958 --> 00:40:27,448 Yes, let's go. 541 00:41:58,042 --> 00:42:00,875 What does she see in her? She looks cheap. 542 00:42:01,042 --> 00:42:05,161 I'm not omniscient just because I'm a clitoris now. I'll get drinks. 543 00:42:14,583 --> 00:42:16,745 Hey, can I have five beers, please? 544 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,911 Yes, Bettina, wait. 545 00:42:20,292 --> 00:42:22,203 Yes, I have the results. 546 00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:26,288 Marvin Bosch did actually take drugs. 547 00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:29,037 Psilocybin, that's a hallucinogen. 548 00:42:30,042 --> 00:42:31,407 I was shocked too. 549 00:42:31,667 --> 00:42:33,203 Markus, we need pictures. 550 00:42:33,458 --> 00:42:35,950 Our readers don't want to read, they want to look at pics. 551 00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:38,992 Does he shoot up or put a tampon up his butt? 552 00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:42,580 Then we'd have a great teaser, "Marvin's fungi booty". 553 00:42:42,833 --> 00:42:46,121 Or "Mushroom season with Marvin Bosch". 554 00:42:46,625 --> 00:42:49,242 Well, you can stick anything up your butt. 555 00:42:49,417 --> 00:42:52,205 Great. And we'll use the nude pic from back then. 556 00:42:52,375 --> 00:42:55,333 Oh yes, Marvin's nude pic. 557 00:42:55,583 --> 00:42:57,950 We all have it as our desktop wallpaper. 558 00:42:58,125 --> 00:42:59,786 Had it at the time. 559 00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:04,619 Hey, sweet little flower? 560 00:43:04,792 --> 00:43:07,329 You've been sneaking around for a while now. 561 00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,457 You forgot your beers. 562 00:43:14,167 --> 00:43:15,407 Mom. 563 00:43:17,417 --> 00:43:19,749 But today you'd be proud of me for a change. 564 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,618 What's so bad about that? So the gutter press writes about you. 565 00:43:26,792 --> 00:43:29,705 -In the real world, no one cares. -Oh yeah? 566 00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:33,492 This is my real world. I've been doing this since I was 18. 567 00:43:33,667 --> 00:43:36,864 Everyone is interested. The dirtier, the better. 568 00:43:37,042 --> 00:43:40,205 Do you know what it's like when every fart is published? 569 00:43:40,458 --> 00:43:43,951 When every relationship, every secret, becomes a sort of common knowledge. 570 00:43:44,125 --> 00:43:45,957 Amusement for the people. 571 00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:49,163 Nothing that happens in my life is mine. Not even my dick. 572 00:43:50,333 --> 00:43:52,370 One of my exes posted it while I was sleeping. 573 00:43:52,542 --> 00:43:54,158 After I told her I loved her. 574 00:43:54,333 --> 00:43:57,951 Dude, chill. You were puking on the street while high on shrooms. 575 00:43:58,125 --> 00:44:00,583 So? You don't go to prison for that. 576 00:44:00,750 --> 00:44:03,333 That would be a proper problem. That would be bad. 577 00:44:07,208 --> 00:44:08,664 What? 578 00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:10,665 Why are you leaving now? 579 00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:13,742 Were you in prison, or what? 580 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,447 -Huh? -It was a bad idea coming here. 581 00:44:18,250 --> 00:44:20,958 Are you nuts? Are you leaving? Is that how you always do it? 582 00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:24,948 Thanks for just celebrating the great hero saving the theater. 583 00:44:25,125 --> 00:44:27,833 But now you can't be bothered anymore. Yes. 584 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,992 How handy. I can't cause you any stress, I signed a contract. 585 00:44:31,250 --> 00:44:34,242 You know what? Why don't you go fuck yourself, superstar? 586 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,082 I'd like to apologize. 587 00:45:03,292 --> 00:45:05,579 Maybe I do take off when the going gets tough. 588 00:45:05,833 --> 00:45:06,994 I'm 589 00:45:08,208 --> 00:45:09,869 just not used to... 590 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:11,990 being so honest. 591 00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:16,416 I'm shocked. You're a real human with feelings. 592 00:45:16,958 --> 00:45:18,824 Are you staying now, or what? 593 00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:21,120 I thought I was supposed to fuck myself. 594 00:45:21,292 --> 00:45:22,703 Yes, briefly. 595 00:45:22,875 --> 00:45:25,082 After that, you can stay, for all I care. 596 00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:27,161 Maybe you'll even dare to go on stage. 597 00:45:36,458 --> 00:45:39,200 You think I don't dare go on stage? 598 00:45:39,375 --> 00:45:42,538 I'm an actor. That's my main job, so to speak. 599 00:45:45,667 --> 00:45:48,830 You were right, you weren't the only one who screwed up in life. 600 00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:51,244 How do you mean? 601 00:45:54,458 --> 00:45:57,905 I killed someone and my family won't talk to me anymore. 602 00:45:59,417 --> 00:46:01,078 Are you serious? 603 00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:07,743 I was 15, and there was a guy who was much older than me. 604 00:46:08,458 --> 00:46:11,496 I didn't want it and I was hoping that nothing would happen, 605 00:46:11,667 --> 00:46:13,704 but he had other plans, and then... 606 00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:18,747 I went to one of those abortion clinics and dealt with the matter. 607 00:46:24,833 --> 00:46:26,494 And your family found out? 608 00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:27,956 Yes. 609 00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:31,707 I'm no longer their daughter. 610 00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:36,405 Every now and then my sister calls on my birthday and then... 611 00:46:36,583 --> 00:46:38,244 we have a quick chat. 612 00:46:39,083 --> 00:46:42,201 I miss her too, because we were really close, but... 613 00:46:43,583 --> 00:46:47,577 I just got used to... not having a family anymore. 614 00:46:51,583 --> 00:46:52,789 Yes. 615 00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:57,990 I'm sorry. 616 00:47:02,292 --> 00:47:05,580 I'm sorry about the way I behaved. My life isn't your fault. 617 00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,241 I know, it's ridiculous. 618 00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:13,034 There really is no reason for me to complain. 619 00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:18,496 But maybe it doesn't make you happy. That's okay. 620 00:47:19,958 --> 00:47:24,327 Maybe if I coat my Porsche with gold or buy another polo pony. 621 00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:26,741 I think we're off-topic now. 622 00:47:26,917 --> 00:47:30,114 Another important question, where do I find your nude pics? 623 00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:35,040 Your family is really missing out. 624 00:47:36,208 --> 00:47:40,202 You might be one of the most lovable people I've met lately. 625 00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,490 Might be? 626 00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:44,955 It's the 2000s, everyone has an exit plan. 627 00:47:45,208 --> 00:47:48,405 Hm... are you one of those dysfunctional types 628 00:47:48,583 --> 00:47:51,450 who has a crush on me but can't admit it? 629 00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:52,740 It's possible. 630 00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,620 You're the first girl to put a finger down my throat. 631 00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:01,200 - I had hoped so. Was it good for you? -Unforgettable. 632 00:48:03,667 --> 00:48:05,533 I don't normally fall in love, 633 00:48:05,792 --> 00:48:09,786 because I personally think the classic relationship model is crap. 634 00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:11,699 Maybe you should know that. 635 00:48:12,917 --> 00:48:15,329 All right. Noted. 636 00:49:13,042 --> 00:49:14,953 EMASCULATION THE FINAL DAYS OF PATRIARCHY 637 00:49:45,250 --> 00:49:49,164 MUSHROOM SEASON FOR MARVIN BOSCH 638 00:49:49,417 --> 00:49:52,580 MOVIE STAR IS A DRUG ADDICT! 639 00:49:58,833 --> 00:50:01,825 "Does the popular actor have a dark past? 640 00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:04,745 Is this Marvin Bosch's final crash?" 641 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,206 Fuck. 642 00:50:08,333 --> 00:50:10,620 Shit! Fucking shit! 643 00:50:11,292 --> 00:50:12,748 Marv, my boy. 644 00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:15,916 If you are out there somewhere... 645 00:50:16,458 --> 00:50:19,075 I've been lost before too. 646 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:21,287 But I can promise you one thing. 647 00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,415 I know how you can get out of there. 648 00:50:23,583 --> 00:50:26,416 I can make you fit again against the drugs. 649 00:50:26,667 --> 00:50:29,079 I'm here for you. Your Rainer. 650 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:44,698 Yes? 651 00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:47,245 You know how I always say, we can do anything, 652 00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:49,579 I'll solve your every problem? 653 00:50:49,833 --> 00:50:51,494 -And destroy it? -Yes. 654 00:50:51,667 --> 00:50:54,409 Not this time. Have you seen the headlines? 655 00:50:55,083 --> 00:50:57,666 -Nope. -Okay, never mind. Listen. 656 00:50:57,833 --> 00:50:59,449 The Bamberger thing wasn't good. 657 00:50:59,625 --> 00:51:02,333 Your next films are postponed indefinitely. 658 00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:03,911 -What? -Or cancelled. 659 00:51:04,167 --> 00:51:07,580 They can't do that. We need to fight back or something. 660 00:51:07,750 --> 00:51:10,208 We can't fight back. That would make it worse. 661 00:51:10,833 --> 00:51:13,905 -You'd be waking sleeping dogs. -Then I'm unemployed for now. 662 00:51:14,083 --> 00:51:15,869 But it'll sort itself out again. 663 00:51:16,042 --> 00:51:18,454 And we have that lucrative car ad this year. 664 00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:22,451 Well, about that car ad and the free vehicles, 665 00:51:22,625 --> 00:51:24,992 that's suboptimal at the moment too. 666 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,867 Meaning? Don't use fancy words like that. 667 00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:31,448 What was that noise? 668 00:51:31,625 --> 00:51:33,366 I think it's time 669 00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:35,741 we said goodbye to a few things. 670 00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:39,910 I have good news too. Do you remember the people from the juice ad? 671 00:51:40,167 --> 00:51:41,657 They still want you. 672 00:51:42,375 --> 00:51:45,572 If you mix it with gin and tonic it doesn't taste so bad. 673 00:51:45,833 --> 00:51:48,621 The strange fruit bomb with the pug as a mascot? 674 00:51:48,792 --> 00:51:51,534 Yep. But you need to tell me now if you're in. 675 00:51:51,708 --> 00:51:54,416 -Or else they'll shoot without you. -Yes. 676 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,707 -Okay. -Yes? Okay. 677 00:51:58,125 --> 00:51:59,240 Sammy. 678 00:52:00,125 --> 00:52:02,241 What if what we did back then gets out? 679 00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:06,414 Marvin, don't worry. It won't come out. No one besides us knows. 680 00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,578 ! need to take care of this. 681 00:52:10,417 --> 00:52:11,623 Hello? 682 00:52:13,625 --> 00:52:18,119 Hey! That's mine. I bought that, the normal way. 683 00:52:18,375 --> 00:52:20,457 Do you want one of Jacky's weak coffees 684 00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,741 or cheap orange juice past its sell-by date? 685 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,207 Thanks, I don't need anything. 686 00:52:25,917 --> 00:52:29,706 Since we've seen each other naked and put things into our bodies, 687 00:52:29,958 --> 00:52:32,040 we can ride to rehearsal together, right? 688 00:52:32,208 --> 00:52:34,324 What? What do you want? 689 00:52:37,333 --> 00:52:40,576 Okay, so this is the morning after. I get it. I see. 690 00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:42,912 Thanks, it was nice talking to you. 691 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:50,041 Abi, don't worry. It won't come out. 692 00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:52,624 No one besides us knows. 693 00:52:52,792 --> 00:52:53,907 Let go. 694 00:53:17,417 --> 00:53:20,864 80% of all violent crimes in Germany are committed by men. 695 00:53:21,125 --> 00:53:23,116 In Europe, one woman in three 696 00:53:23,292 --> 00:53:25,499 has experienced physical or sexual violence. 697 00:53:25,667 --> 00:53:26,828 One in three. 698 00:53:27,083 --> 00:53:29,950 Last year alone, over 130 women 699 00:53:30,125 --> 00:53:32,833 were murdered by their partners or ex-partners. 700 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,035 That's bad. 701 00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:39,583 But before we're all stricken by great concern, let me tell you what's worse. 702 00:53:39,833 --> 00:53:42,450 Since Me Too, there are actually men 703 00:53:42,625 --> 00:53:45,583 who don't know how to pay a compliment to a woman. 704 00:53:46,250 --> 00:53:47,706 Yes, that's terrible, right? 705 00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:50,583 I mean, how is Ansgar from bookkeeping 706 00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:53,868 to tell his colleague that she's a hot number? 707 00:53:54,042 --> 00:53:56,875 That's the real tragedy of Me Too, actually. 708 00:53:57,125 --> 00:54:00,083 I had my first blind date the other day. Ever had one? 709 00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:04,239 It's amazing. A total thrill. Jumping in at the deep end. 710 00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:07,864 It's like opening the fridge in a shared apartment of five, 711 00:54:08,125 --> 00:54:10,492 taking out the milk and just drinking. 712 00:54:10,667 --> 00:54:11,998 Without smelling it first. 713 00:54:12,167 --> 00:54:15,831 Anything could be in there. Milk, curds, cigarette butts. 714 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,322 Yes, that's the thrill, that's life. I did that. 715 00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:23,448 I arrived at the date and the woman who was sitting there waiting for me... 716 00:54:23,625 --> 00:54:25,912 Wow, she was really super beautiful. 717 00:54:26,167 --> 00:54:30,206 She had huge eyes and somehow, she wasn't blinking. 718 00:54:30,458 --> 00:54:32,916 She was sitting there and it became clear to me 719 00:54:33,167 --> 00:54:35,374 that she was just surprised. 720 00:54:35,625 --> 00:54:39,289 I would be too, if I had a blind date with a guy named Hans 721 00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:40,869 and I showed up. 722 00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:45,239 But unlike my apartment viewings, 723 00:54:45,417 --> 00:54:49,240 I wasn't sent away straight away, I was allowed to stay and we talked. 724 00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:50,748 I quickly realized 725 00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:54,364 that she was just a little bit racist. 726 00:54:54,542 --> 00:54:57,455 Well, she wasn't an Eva Braun, but she was... 727 00:54:57,625 --> 00:54:59,787 BFF material for Alice Weidel, I'd say. 728 00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:03,871 Naturally, part of me wanted to leave straightaway. 729 00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:06,957 But on the other hand... 730 00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:09,742 she was really super sweet. 731 00:55:09,917 --> 00:55:13,160 That's why the other part of me somehow didn't want to go. 732 00:55:13,417 --> 00:55:17,331 And no, not that part. No, no, it was my brain. 733 00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:20,242 Because a week before, I had read a study 734 00:55:20,500 --> 00:55:25,290 that right-wing voters have a tendency to be sexually frustrated people. 735 00:55:26,333 --> 00:55:27,823 Understand what I was thinking? 736 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:32,039 I thought maybe I can give something back to society. 737 00:55:32,292 --> 00:55:36,490 Well, not in a macho kind of way, like "fucking the woman's brain out", 738 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:38,081 but the other way around. 739 00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:41,322 Maybe you can actually have the brain go in... 740 00:55:41,583 --> 00:55:47,033 That was my contribution to a better society. You're welcome. 741 00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:50,822 People don't like it when you actually come out of the closet. 742 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:56,040 Firstly, there are ugly words in play, like gay or lesbian. 743 00:55:56,292 --> 00:55:58,704 And secondly, there are lots of folks 744 00:55:58,875 --> 00:56:01,116 who think that people who come out of the closet 745 00:56:01,292 --> 00:56:04,250 are basically just attention-seekers. 746 00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:08,698 Because we don't just want to be queer, bi, lesbian, whatever, 747 00:56:08,875 --> 00:56:13,199 but we are also so bold as to express it publicly. 748 00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:17,452 Don't get me wrong, but all films except problem films... hetero. 749 00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:22,282 Worldwide broadcasts of aristocrat weddings... hetero. 750 00:56:22,542 --> 00:56:26,581 I'd hope for the future that at the next six-hour live broadcast 751 00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:30,323 of a European aristocrat wedding, there'd be five minutes of... 752 00:56:30,583 --> 00:56:31,914 royal outings. 753 00:56:32,167 --> 00:56:34,579 That's not asking for too much. 754 00:56:36,167 --> 00:56:38,204 What makes a real man? 755 00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:40,415 I've asked myself that a lot. 756 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,072 Okay, it could be because at my birth... 757 00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:46,992 there was a little equipment error. 758 00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:50,410 Not what you think, "Ha ha, penis too small." No, no. 759 00:56:51,042 --> 00:56:52,624 No penis at all. 760 00:56:53,250 --> 00:56:55,366 Nothing. Niente. 761 00:56:55,542 --> 00:56:58,250 Someone pressed the space key. Yes. 762 00:56:58,417 --> 00:57:01,079 I was put into the body of a woman. 763 00:57:01,792 --> 00:57:03,499 Shit happens. But fine. 764 00:57:03,667 --> 00:57:07,240 Adjust the crown, keep going. And that's what I did. 765 00:57:07,417 --> 00:57:09,749 I remember how happy I was 766 00:57:09,917 --> 00:57:11,908 when I was able to start with the hormones. 767 00:57:12,083 --> 00:57:13,915 Finally, testosterone. 768 00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:16,825 Yes, and then I was sitting there one day, 769 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,617 I lit my last vanilla-scented candle, 770 00:57:19,792 --> 00:57:21,783 embalmed with testosterone... 771 00:57:22,458 --> 00:57:24,495 and do you know what happened then? 772 00:57:26,417 --> 00:57:27,532 Nothing. 773 00:57:28,958 --> 00:57:33,247 For the first time in my life, I was able to sit for two hours in a row, 774 00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:36,455 stare into nothing and my thoughts revolved around nothing. 775 00:57:36,708 --> 00:57:39,496 Do you want to know what it looks like inside the head of a guy? 776 00:57:39,667 --> 00:57:43,456 Picture a shopping mall during a Covid lockdown. 777 00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,075 Speaking of man, here's our newcomer. 778 00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,992 Right, rookie. Show us what you've got. 779 00:57:54,167 --> 00:57:57,831 Yes, I... I thought I'd do something about rappers. 780 00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,616 What about... 781 00:58:06,792 --> 00:58:08,408 climate protection? 782 00:58:09,958 --> 00:58:11,699 Do something about yourself. 783 00:58:11,875 --> 00:58:14,333 Or maybe even... about dating. 784 00:58:14,583 --> 00:58:18,326 That's right, hundreds of willing women throw themselves at the star. 785 00:58:18,583 --> 00:58:21,166 -What? -Pardon? 786 00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:25,406 Hey, I don't care if you're in the midst of a self-discovery process, 787 00:58:25,583 --> 00:58:28,450 but... oh, you're wasting our time. 788 00:58:29,167 --> 00:58:32,580 I think the whole thing was a shit idea. It was a mistake. 789 00:58:34,708 --> 00:58:36,039 Yes, probably. 790 00:58:37,375 --> 00:58:39,787 You see? Men don't get along. 791 00:58:40,042 --> 00:58:42,158 Far too emotional. 792 00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:46,199 Thank you. That's enough. 793 00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:49,831 Here's to us. 794 00:58:52,750 --> 00:58:54,866 Mm, this is good. 795 00:58:55,958 --> 00:58:57,665 You weren't very easy to find. 796 00:58:57,833 --> 00:59:00,040 So many cell phone shops in Neukölln. 797 00:59:00,292 --> 00:59:03,830 It's an amazingly quaint area. You feel... at home right away. 798 00:59:04,083 --> 00:59:06,700 If you don't mind the stabbings, it's pretty cozy. 799 00:59:07,958 --> 00:59:11,121 Do you know that I come from a simple background too? 800 00:59:11,292 --> 00:59:12,282 You? 801 00:59:12,542 --> 00:59:14,374 And back then I swore to myself... 802 00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:17,074 Bettina, you will get out of there. 803 00:59:17,250 --> 00:59:19,207 So we have something in common. 804 00:59:19,458 --> 00:59:24,248 I come to you with a request, and friends are supposed to help each other. 805 00:59:24,417 --> 00:59:28,615 Both of us, your friend Marvin and I, and maybe... 806 00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:31,161 you. 807 00:59:38,792 --> 00:59:40,374 What is this for? 808 00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:44,456 Let's say, a deposit on another life, hm? 809 00:59:49,458 --> 00:59:53,281 And Marvin? I mean, you caused the mess with my friend. 810 00:59:54,292 --> 00:59:55,748 The bad headlines. 811 00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,992 His films are on the backburner because of you. 812 00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:02,458 He's losing everything right now. So, what is this? 813 01:00:02,708 --> 01:00:05,666 I can only write what I have about your friend. 814 01:00:05,833 --> 01:00:09,246 If I get something nice, I'll write something nice. 815 01:00:10,208 --> 01:00:12,370 I'd like to help you. Understood, Hakan? 816 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:15,993 I had people look for you. I don't do that for nothing. 817 01:00:17,958 --> 01:00:20,450 Do you think I'd betray my best friend? 818 01:00:20,958 --> 01:00:25,407 This isn't about betrayal. It's about loyalty and friendship. 819 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,583 My instinct tells me that there's a story. 820 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:32,573 And if you really want to help Marvin, then tell it to me. 821 01:00:32,750 --> 01:00:35,287 Let the people know who he really is. 822 01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:39,325 Believe me, Marvin needs you now. 823 01:00:42,292 --> 01:00:45,284 Get the fuck out of my shop, right now. 824 01:00:45,917 --> 01:00:47,282 I want you gone. 825 01:00:53,958 --> 01:00:56,950 This is the phone number of my editor. 826 01:00:57,833 --> 01:01:01,371 You need to be clear about one thing. It will be reported on anyway. 827 01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:03,829 You have a choice of who is the narrator. 828 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,365 The press? 829 01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:09,405 Or a good friend? Someone who really loves him. 830 01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:12,915 Think about it, okay? 831 01:01:22,292 --> 01:01:25,910 Your diva attitude is getting on my nerves. Will you come in? 832 01:01:26,167 --> 01:01:28,408 -Rocco will apologize. -I have a lot on my plate. 833 01:01:28,583 --> 01:01:31,655 -It's not an attitude, it's chaos. -So what? 834 01:01:34,292 --> 01:01:38,616 And it would be better if we kept what happened yesterday between us for now. 835 01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:40,789 People are writing too much as is. 836 01:01:41,542 --> 01:01:44,204 Because I've seen you naked? Everybody has. 837 01:01:44,458 --> 01:01:47,826 -What am I to tell? -Please don't be mad at me, okay? 838 01:01:48,792 --> 01:01:50,123 Are you serious? 839 01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:53,913 Know what? I wish the whole shit wouldn't have happened. 840 01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:59,157 Don't come back here and leave me alone. Your babysitter's here. You need to go. 841 01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:05,741 Take care. 842 01:02:05,917 --> 01:02:08,329 Still, it was nice to have met you. 843 01:02:10,625 --> 01:02:13,117 Hey, wait! What about the money? 844 01:02:18,292 --> 01:02:20,954 Tell me, did you screw him last night? 845 01:02:21,917 --> 01:02:24,705 Yes, but only because I was bored. It was really dull. 846 01:02:25,333 --> 01:02:26,744 Fuck. 847 01:02:36,083 --> 01:02:37,369 Are you not feeling well? 848 01:02:40,333 --> 01:02:42,449 There was a bit of stress. 849 01:02:42,625 --> 01:02:45,208 Wow... Hang on. You had it going on yesterday. 850 01:02:46,250 --> 01:02:48,116 It's over before it started, okay? 851 01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:52,697 We leave you alone with the feminists the one time... 852 01:02:52,958 --> 01:02:54,869 Who was it? 853 01:02:55,042 --> 01:02:58,239 But not that crazy lesbian, right? What was her name again? 854 01:02:58,875 --> 01:03:01,162 The crazy lesbian's name is Jacky. It wasn't her. 855 01:03:01,792 --> 01:03:02,782 Jacky. 856 01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,416 -Can we talk about something else? -Yes, sure. 857 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,241 Hakan, Marvin is now a clitoris. 858 01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:11,708 That's fine. Then at least I can find it. 859 01:03:12,833 --> 01:03:15,495 -By the way, it's female feminists. -Oh God. 860 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,159 Let him be a feminist. It's the only thing he still has. 861 01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:22,281 -His life is going down the drain. -Thanks. Now I feel better. 862 01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:25,780 You're trying to explain feminists to me now or what? 863 01:03:26,708 --> 01:03:28,995 Guys, listen up. I'm a woman. 864 01:03:29,250 --> 01:03:32,322 I have a job. I negotiate his contracts alone. 865 01:03:32,583 --> 01:03:36,121 I run the show. And now you want to teach me about feminism. 866 01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:38,491 Who's been toiling non-stop for years here? 867 01:03:38,750 --> 01:03:40,707 Hey, I'm happy to take a break. 868 01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:44,451 -You wouldn't even make it to set. -Guys, that's enough. 869 01:03:44,625 --> 01:03:48,289 We once promised to be honest to each other. Right? 870 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,490 So, let's talk. 871 01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:57,328 Here's work for you. 872 01:03:58,125 --> 01:04:00,492 You need to sign the autograph cards. 873 01:04:02,875 --> 01:04:05,162 I hate autograph cards. 874 01:04:06,417 --> 01:04:08,454 Man, damn it! 875 01:04:08,708 --> 01:04:12,281 Abi. Take what we do here seriously again. 876 01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:14,786 I'm working my butt off for you. 877 01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:18,366 For me or for you? 878 01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,583 I'm all about us and what we've become, but... 879 01:04:22,833 --> 01:04:24,915 it's always about cash and success! 880 01:04:27,333 --> 01:04:28,323 Wow. 881 01:04:29,292 --> 01:04:32,000 Can you tell me why we never went to see him? 882 01:04:35,833 --> 01:04:37,915 Because we're too cowardly. 883 01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:40,831 Yes. 884 01:04:45,458 --> 01:04:47,574 Yes, because we're too cowardly. 885 01:05:02,042 --> 01:05:04,659 -I don't believe this. -What is it? 886 01:05:04,833 --> 01:05:06,540 It's the stray from the hotel. 887 01:05:06,708 --> 01:05:08,915 Hello, my friend. 888 01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:11,916 What are you doing here? Yes. 889 01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:14,996 -Throw the cat out. -I'm afraid I have to work. Come. 890 01:05:17,333 --> 01:05:19,700 Okay. Right, little one. 891 01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:21,866 You wait here for me, okay? 892 01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:25,450 -Hi. -Hello. Bibo's my name. 893 01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:28,868 Nice to meet you, hello. Our star, Marvin. Hi. 894 01:05:29,042 --> 01:05:32,740 You can go straight to makeup. We're having problems with Gunther. 895 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:36,288 -Gunther? -The fructigalactic pug. The mascot. 896 01:05:36,458 --> 01:05:39,655 Right, it's important not to address Gunther. 897 01:05:39,833 --> 01:05:41,824 If he looks at you, tilt your head, 898 01:05:42,083 --> 01:05:44,165 don't make him nervous, he doesn't like it. 899 01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,530 Will someone have mercy and get us coffee? Our second star is here! 900 01:05:47,708 --> 01:05:49,574 -Wait, why second star? -That's right. 901 01:05:49,833 --> 01:05:51,699 I'm really nervous. It's going to be awesome. 902 01:05:51,958 --> 01:05:54,916 -Hello, sweetie. I'm doing you today. -Can we do this faster? 903 01:05:55,167 --> 01:05:56,783 Do I have to do everything on my own? 904 01:05:57,042 --> 01:05:58,749 First you, then the pug. Please. 905 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:00,582 -Gunther is getting made up? -Yes. 906 01:06:00,833 --> 01:06:03,951 The pug is difficult. I've shot children's series with him. 907 01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,991 -But you can do it. -Hello. Gigi. 908 01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:09,037 Our assistants have spoken to yours. 909 01:06:09,208 --> 01:06:11,996 Hi, nice to meet you. Listen, it's going to be awesome. 910 01:06:12,167 --> 01:06:14,659 You're basically flying through the air shouting 911 01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:17,495 "I feel fructigalactic!" All in the air. 912 01:06:17,750 --> 01:06:19,616 Cool or cool? 913 01:06:19,792 --> 01:06:22,534 -Cool. -I heard "second star"? That's... 914 01:06:22,792 --> 01:06:26,160 This is rad. Can someone fix my receding hairline? 915 01:06:26,333 --> 01:06:28,244 Pronto. Great. Thanks. 916 01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:33,208 Marvelous Marvin Bosch is in da house. 917 01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:35,950 -Yo. Finally, we're shooting together. -Hey. Yes. 918 01:06:36,125 --> 01:06:37,456 This will be bam. 919 01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,207 -What is he doing here? -That wasn't the deal. 920 01:06:42,458 --> 01:06:43,573 He's your partner. 921 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:46,996 The client's spontaneous idea. It's not a problem, is it? 922 01:06:47,708 --> 01:06:50,075 No problem. I'll do my job, as always. 923 01:06:50,708 --> 01:06:53,245 -Good. -This will be awesome. Awesome. 924 01:06:55,333 --> 01:06:57,415 And... action. 925 01:06:58,125 --> 01:07:01,413 Do you know what eight kinds of fruit feel like? 926 01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:03,707 -Fruchti... Shit! -Cut! 927 01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,290 -Damn. -You feel fructigalactic. 928 01:07:06,458 --> 01:07:08,290 "Fructigalactic” is our word. 929 01:07:08,542 --> 01:07:10,579 -Fructigalactic. -That's it. 930 01:07:10,750 --> 01:07:12,957 -It says it here too. -Yes. 931 01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:15,116 -I'll do it on the next one. -It's all good. 932 01:07:15,375 --> 01:07:17,707 Back in L.A., I used to do all my own stunts. 933 01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,616 It's part of the job for me. 934 01:07:19,875 --> 01:07:22,742 You had a bit part in L. A. 20 years ago. 935 01:07:22,917 --> 01:07:24,373 Take it down a notch, okay? 936 01:07:24,625 --> 01:07:26,832 -I think Marvin's exhausted. -All ready? 937 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:29,241 I want to punch the guy in the face. 938 01:07:29,417 --> 01:07:30,782 -Same here. -And Marvin? 939 01:07:31,042 --> 01:07:32,703 -Yes? -With emotion, please. 940 01:07:32,958 --> 01:07:36,371 - I need to feel the fructigalactic. -Okay. 941 01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:41,953 I learned that in L.A. doing method acting in my bit part. 942 01:07:42,125 --> 01:07:44,332 -Shut up, Rainer. -You shut up, juice boy. 943 01:07:44,583 --> 01:07:46,540 And action. 944 01:07:47,917 --> 01:07:51,114 Do you know what eight kinds of fruit feel like? 945 01:07:53,333 --> 01:07:56,200 -I feel fructicool... -Cut. 946 01:07:56,917 --> 01:07:59,079 -Fucktigalactic, man. -Sorry. 947 01:07:59,250 --> 01:08:01,617 -And you say it in the air! -It's not that easy, sorry. 948 01:08:01,792 --> 01:08:03,282 When we pull you up, man! 949 01:08:03,542 --> 01:08:05,658 -Let's do another one. -Action. 950 01:08:06,292 --> 01:08:09,739 - I feel fructiganothing... -Fructigalactic would be super. 951 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:11,616 I feel fructicra... 952 01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:13,582 -Try again. Maybe you'll get it. -Yes. 953 01:08:13,833 --> 01:08:16,450 Fruchtigala... Fuck. Fuck. 954 01:08:16,708 --> 01:08:19,325 Fructigalactic. With "c". 955 01:08:19,583 --> 01:08:22,575 -Fructi... fucking fruit! -Cut. Break. 956 01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:27,664 -Bam. -Oh my. 957 01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,073 ...galactic. 958 01:08:30,125 --> 01:08:32,036 I just had it. Now I have it. 959 01:08:32,292 --> 01:08:35,580 -No. -Let's just do it again right away. 960 01:08:42,667 --> 01:08:44,203 There you go. 961 01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:47,286 To us, my Bambi. 962 01:08:47,542 --> 01:08:50,739 You remember my elegy of you and the pearly seashell? 963 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,332 An elegy is a lament, René. 964 01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:55,328 Right, I'm sorry. 965 01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:59,076 I was going to serve... no emphasize the ambivalent, emotional... 966 01:08:59,250 --> 01:09:02,083 -You're a woman with so many faces. -Yes. 967 01:09:02,625 --> 01:09:05,242 Although, the irritated one often prevails... 968 01:09:05,417 --> 01:09:07,078 Are we starting with that again? 969 01:09:07,250 --> 01:09:09,241 Sorry, that was poorly expressed. 970 01:09:09,417 --> 01:09:11,249 I meant to say you're exciting... 971 01:09:11,417 --> 01:09:13,579 I see, why am I exciting? What's exciting? 972 01:09:14,333 --> 01:09:17,451 -That you're uncomfortable and quick. -Yes. 973 01:09:18,667 --> 01:09:20,829 Quick-tempered and dominant. 974 01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:30,864 You comparing me to that housewife porn is the pits. 975 01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:35,411 Probably not quite fitting, but I want to ask you once and for all... 976 01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:37,165 Bettina. We've got it. 977 01:09:37,417 --> 01:09:39,579 It was like you said. We're going live. 978 01:09:40,208 --> 01:09:43,280 Markus. Markus, I love you. 979 01:09:44,208 --> 01:09:46,700 -Okay. -What are you doing down there? 980 01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:49,207 You're supposed to look after your slipped disc. 981 01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:50,865 The... Bettina... 982 01:09:58,542 --> 01:10:00,203 See you. Come on, Markus. 983 01:10:00,458 --> 01:10:01,664 Yes. 984 01:10:06,542 --> 01:10:07,748 Thanks. 985 01:10:08,417 --> 01:10:11,205 The biggest crap I've ever taken part in. 986 01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:16,036 Not the pants, they're from L.A. 987 01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:18,158 Hey, no. 988 01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:20,411 No, no violence. 989 01:10:22,208 --> 01:10:23,824 I won't sit on any more apples with you. 990 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:25,866 Shut your fructigalactic trap. 991 01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:28,162 -Oh, suddenly he can say it! -That's enough. 992 01:10:28,417 --> 01:10:32,581 Hey, Marvin, we used you despite your drug excesses, right? 993 01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,707 We were the only ones. You're finished. 994 01:10:34,958 --> 01:10:37,074 And by the way... fired. 995 01:10:37,333 --> 01:10:41,497 Okay, now... Can't we talk about this in private? Okay. All right. 996 01:10:41,750 --> 01:10:43,161 Don't touch me. 997 01:10:57,208 --> 01:11:00,121 MARVIN BOSCH - THE WHOLE TRUTH LIVE ON BAMBERGERSHOW.DE 998 01:11:15,667 --> 01:11:19,080 In the past weeks, one name has dominated the headlines. 999 01:11:19,250 --> 01:11:21,161 And that's Marvin Bosch. 1000 01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:24,125 We're all wondering who he really is. 1001 01:11:25,042 --> 01:11:28,615 Today's studio guest has the shocking truth for us. 1002 01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:31,993 Please welcome Marvin's childhood friend, Hakan Celik. 1003 01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:34,207 Hello, I'm here... 1004 01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:36,119 to help my pal Marvin. 1005 01:11:37,208 --> 01:11:40,576 All those headlines and reports, they... 1006 01:11:41,208 --> 01:11:43,119 they don't do justice to my friend. 1007 01:11:43,708 --> 01:11:45,494 He's really a good guy who... 1008 01:11:45,667 --> 01:11:48,375 just made a mistake, one time. 1009 01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:51,583 Tell us what happened back then. 1010 01:11:52,250 --> 01:11:53,786 It was... 1011 01:11:54,417 --> 01:11:56,829 a long time ago, many, many years. 1012 01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:03,453 There were four of us. 1013 01:12:03,625 --> 01:12:06,117 Marvin, Sammy, me and... 1014 01:12:07,542 --> 01:12:08,703 our friend Milan. 1015 01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:12,371 Let me pre-empt. You were close friends. 1016 01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:15,743 Yes, we... We were like family. 1017 01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:20,414 With our actual families, the situation was difficult for each of us. 1018 01:12:20,583 --> 01:12:22,665 Particularly for Marvin. 1019 01:12:22,833 --> 01:12:25,541 That's why you mustn't judge him. 1020 01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,870 You became a delinquent. 1021 01:12:28,042 --> 01:12:30,249 And then you had a very stupid idea. 1022 01:12:30,417 --> 01:12:32,704 Yes, it was my idea, not Marvin's. 1023 01:12:34,083 --> 01:12:35,573 You know... 1024 01:12:38,375 --> 01:12:40,286 I'm just an idiot. 1025 01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:43,457 I mean, we never had any money. 1026 01:12:44,875 --> 01:12:48,664 I thought if we rob a gas station, that's easy money. 1027 01:12:48,833 --> 01:12:50,039 Wow. 1028 01:12:57,125 --> 01:12:59,492 -Give me the money, come on. -Open the register. 1029 01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,115 -Go on! -Don't do anything stupid. 1030 01:13:01,375 --> 01:13:04,493 When he opened the register, it was the beginning of the end. 1031 01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:07,458 -Gun down. -I don't want to shoot anyone. 1032 01:13:08,333 --> 01:13:09,823 Let go! 1033 01:13:13,083 --> 01:13:15,541 Our friend Milan caught the shot. 1034 01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:19,745 And we... we were scared shitless. 1035 01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:22,788 Marvin wanted to stay, he wanted to help him. 1036 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,491 But I pulled him away. 1037 01:13:28,417 --> 01:13:30,078 What kind of assholes were we? 1038 01:13:30,333 --> 01:13:32,665 Leaving our friend lying there like that. 1039 01:13:33,417 --> 01:13:35,328 What happened then? 1040 01:13:36,208 --> 01:13:38,370 Of course, they caught us all. 1041 01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:40,869 And that was it for us. 1042 01:13:43,792 --> 01:13:45,783 But not for our friend. 1043 01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:47,744 What happened with your friend? 1044 01:13:48,333 --> 01:13:50,495 He was in the hospital for months. 1045 01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:53,115 All alone. 1046 01:13:53,750 --> 01:13:57,368 We... we got a few months of juvey. 1047 01:13:57,542 --> 01:14:01,331 But even when we were back out, we never went to visit him. 1048 01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:03,332 We were just too cowardly. 1049 01:14:04,875 --> 01:14:07,116 Only Marvin kept asking after him. 1050 01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:10,574 He's a good person. 1051 01:14:12,667 --> 01:14:14,078 Unlike me. 1052 01:14:17,250 --> 01:14:19,912 The shocking truth about Marvin Bosch. 1053 01:14:20,083 --> 01:14:21,539 Who'd have thought 1054 01:14:21,708 --> 01:14:24,416 that the man our underage daughters adore, 1055 01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:28,201 who dominates German movie screens, ls in reality a convicted criminal? 1056 01:15:18,542 --> 01:15:22,285 Hey, Marvin, it's me, Hakan. I'm sorry. 1057 01:15:22,542 --> 01:15:24,874 I don't know how [ could have been so naive. 1058 01:15:25,792 --> 01:15:27,453 Please, let's talk. 1059 01:15:28,083 --> 01:15:29,494 Get in touch. 1060 01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:23,495 TONIGHT! LAST SHOW 1061 01:16:40,833 --> 01:16:42,198 How do you know where I live? 1062 01:16:42,375 --> 01:16:45,413 This place was on TV more often than your sexual characteristics. 1063 01:16:45,583 --> 01:16:47,415 And that's saying something. 1064 01:16:47,583 --> 01:16:51,156 Don't worry, I don't want sex. I don't find you attractive at all. 1065 01:16:51,333 --> 01:16:54,451 Thanks. Sorry, it's a bit untidy at the moment. 1066 01:16:54,625 --> 01:16:56,115 What's this? 1067 01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:58,699 What? Oh, art. 1068 01:17:00,542 --> 01:17:03,500 -Do you want a beer too? -"Do you want a beer too?" 1069 01:17:03,750 --> 01:17:06,708 Do you think I'm here because I want a stupid beer? 1070 01:17:08,917 --> 01:17:11,124 -Hey, have you lost it? -"Hey, have you lost it?" 1071 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,992 Just so it's clear, I'm doing you a friendly turn. 1072 01:17:15,250 --> 01:17:16,615 Go on, stand up. 1073 01:17:16,792 --> 01:17:20,365 If this is about theater or about Frieda, she's not into me. 1074 01:17:20,542 --> 01:17:23,864 - I was there. -The gentleman paid a visit. 1075 01:17:24,042 --> 01:17:26,579 Well, I hope it wasn't too exhausting. 1076 01:17:26,833 --> 01:17:31,122 You have no idea what real problems are. 1077 01:17:32,292 --> 01:17:35,535 Do you know how long a gender transition takes? 1078 01:17:35,708 --> 01:17:39,121 Rocco had to endure 15 surgeries. 1079 01:17:39,375 --> 01:17:41,241 Lots of pain, lots of fear. 1080 01:17:41,417 --> 01:17:45,331 Until he was the person he should have been from the start. 1081 01:17:46,542 --> 01:17:49,000 And then he's also a really good father. 1082 01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:52,538 Or Wiebke. She's been on psychotropic drugs for 20 years. 1083 01:17:52,708 --> 01:17:54,870 Which sometimes work better, sometimes less so, 1084 01:17:55,042 --> 01:17:57,534 just to stop her from jumping off the nearest bridge. 1085 01:17:57,708 --> 01:18:00,291 So fuck you, Marvin Bosch. 1086 01:18:00,542 --> 01:18:02,203 You, love thingie. 1087 01:18:05,750 --> 01:18:08,913 I have to say, you theater guys often tell people to go fuck themselves. 1088 01:18:09,167 --> 01:18:12,364 People like Rocco, my dear. They are fighters with dignity. 1089 01:18:12,625 --> 01:18:14,741 They aren't idiots like you are. 1090 01:18:14,917 --> 01:18:18,035 It's our last show today. Then we'll close down. 1091 01:18:18,292 --> 01:18:22,160 So go take a fucking shower and get dressed. 1092 01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:26,698 Right. 1093 01:18:26,875 --> 01:18:28,536 Now I'd like that beer. 1094 01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:35,447 All right, but first I have to take care of something. 1095 01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:38,416 You don't know what I feel. I have to see him every day. 1096 01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:42,201 -You have no idea what love is. -Hey, I'm a love pro. 1097 01:18:42,458 --> 01:18:44,415 How do you think I got two kids? 1098 01:18:44,667 --> 01:18:47,534 -Go clean that up. -As long as we all stay narrowminded. 1099 01:18:47,708 --> 01:18:51,155 You don't care that my heart's breaking and my life's over, do you? 1100 01:18:51,417 --> 01:18:53,658 She said, without Marvin, her life makes no sense. 1101 01:18:53,917 --> 01:18:56,158 She'll drop out of school and become a housewife. 1102 01:18:56,333 --> 01:18:57,949 You won't drop out of school. 1103 01:18:58,125 --> 01:19:01,538 You'll study math and then there'll be another star or a TikToker. 1104 01:19:01,792 --> 01:19:04,250 -There's only one Marvin. -How do you know? 1105 01:19:04,500 --> 01:19:07,208 I don't have time to listen to your mansplaining. 1106 01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:10,743 -I need to get a rag. -Bring the math textbook, okay? 1107 01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:13,869 Are you an alcoholic now? 1108 01:19:14,042 --> 01:19:15,749 No, I want to relax, 1109 01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:19,285 because my kids have a crush on a stupid film star. 1110 01:19:19,458 --> 01:19:22,871 -Alcohol kills brain cells. -Which brain cells? 1111 01:19:23,125 --> 01:19:25,617 I'm cleaning, like I was commanded to. 1112 01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:26,910 Thank you. 1113 01:19:27,625 --> 01:19:30,538 You wanted to tell me one of your strange stories. 1114 01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:31,914 Okay. 1115 01:19:33,292 --> 01:19:36,830 Once upon a time, Snow White 2.0 was alive and well. 1116 01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:40,618 -She was the nicest and smartest of all. -Was she the prettiest? 1117 01:19:40,792 --> 01:19:44,581 -Did she marry a star? -You're totally brainwashed. No. 1118 01:19:44,833 --> 01:19:48,155 She was the nicest and got the best grade in... 1119 01:19:48,333 --> 01:19:50,074 payroll accounting. 1120 01:19:50,250 --> 01:19:51,581 Just like her father. 1121 01:19:52,208 --> 01:19:54,916 Coincidentally, the seven dwarves founded a company... 1122 01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:57,415 Seriously? Your job in a fairy tale? 1123 01:19:57,667 --> 01:19:59,908 -You are so uncreative. -He has no idea of life. 1124 01:20:00,167 --> 01:20:02,329 And even less of love. 1125 01:20:04,208 --> 01:20:07,496 Would one of my daughters relent and open the door? 1126 01:20:12,917 --> 01:20:14,032 Hi. 1127 01:20:17,792 --> 01:20:19,282 Okay, okay. 1128 01:20:20,333 --> 01:20:23,701 Hello, I'm Marvin. I'm a friend of your father's. Is he in? 1129 01:20:23,875 --> 01:20:26,492 You're a friend of our father's? 1130 01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:29,457 May we come in? 1131 01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:32,124 Yes. Sure. 1132 01:20:45,167 --> 01:20:47,283 Nice to see you. 1133 01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:51,122 -What are you doing here? -We're here to apologize. 1134 01:20:53,083 --> 01:20:56,155 Just like that, after 20 years? 1135 01:20:58,167 --> 01:20:59,202 Yes. 1136 01:21:05,375 --> 01:21:08,413 Will you come in or do you want to stay in the hallway? 1137 01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:18,497 -Anyone else want tea? -If it's no trouble. 1138 01:21:18,667 --> 01:21:21,284 Nonsense, we always do a lot around the house. 1139 01:21:21,542 --> 01:21:24,455 -Dad, you too? -Nope, not right now. Thanks. 1140 01:21:24,708 --> 01:21:28,281 Do you want to get some cookies out and maybe clean your rooms? 1141 01:21:28,458 --> 01:21:31,450 -We always do. -We love tidying up. 1142 01:21:33,125 --> 01:21:35,537 You really have very nice kids. 1143 01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:38,159 A pity you won't meet their mother. 1144 01:21:38,417 --> 01:21:41,455 -Why? Is your wife... -Did she die? 1145 01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:44,208 What? No. She's at work. 1146 01:21:45,083 --> 01:21:47,290 She's great, but don't get your hopes up. 1147 01:21:47,458 --> 01:21:49,825 She's not into ugly guys like you. 1148 01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:04,241 We wanted to apologize to you 1149 01:22:05,333 --> 01:22:06,744 for letting you down. 1150 01:22:07,375 --> 01:22:08,865 Yes. It's... 1151 01:22:09,583 --> 01:22:11,665 been torturing us for a long time. 1152 01:22:13,083 --> 01:22:14,949 Hey, I'm not doing too badly. 1153 01:22:15,958 --> 01:22:17,574 I have a nice life. 1154 01:22:18,792 --> 01:22:21,284 I went to a great foster family back then. 1155 01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:23,290 It was all much better afterwards. 1156 01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,661 I met my wife. 1157 01:22:25,917 --> 01:22:28,500 We had our first child almost immediately. 1158 01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:31,450 It was the best decision of my life. 1159 01:22:32,583 --> 01:22:35,371 I'm sorry. I meant to get in touch with you too. 1160 01:22:35,542 --> 01:22:38,830 I heard that you ended up in juvey for a few months back then. 1161 01:22:39,458 --> 01:22:41,699 You wanted to get in touch with us? Really? 1162 01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:43,365 Yes, of course. 1163 01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:47,744 I often think of you. And there's no getting past you, anyway. 1164 01:22:47,917 --> 01:22:51,239 For some stupid reason, my kids are into you. 1165 01:22:56,292 --> 01:22:58,875 Dude, that's a load off my mind. 1166 01:22:59,042 --> 01:23:00,953 We're such idiots. 1167 01:23:01,125 --> 01:23:04,197 This is totally rad. You were doing well the whole time. 1168 01:23:05,542 --> 01:23:07,408 Everything was good. 1169 01:23:12,458 --> 01:23:14,995 You wouldn't believe how happy I am to hear that, 1170 01:23:16,167 --> 01:23:18,374 how glad I am you have such a beautiful family. 1171 01:23:18,542 --> 01:23:20,658 That really makes me happy. 1172 01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:24,616 I think it's great that you came. 1173 01:23:26,375 --> 01:23:27,865 I really do. 1174 01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:39,497 -Can I step out for a minute? -Sure. At the end of the corridor. 1175 01:23:56,875 --> 01:24:00,038 I fixed up my old wig. Melli Maultäschle. 1176 01:24:00,208 --> 01:24:01,289 Bambi. 1177 01:24:01,958 --> 01:24:05,076 Actually, I'm Hansjörg, and this is Saskia. 1178 01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,619 Thank you. 1179 01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:08,998 Thank you. Thanks. 1180 01:24:09,250 --> 01:24:11,912 Yes, that's it from me. 1181 01:24:12,083 --> 01:24:14,370 And now one last time, please... 1182 01:24:14,542 --> 01:24:17,580 Give it up for Zelda de Winter. 1183 01:24:22,208 --> 01:24:23,915 Good evening, my dears. 1184 01:24:28,917 --> 01:24:30,032 Bravo! 1185 01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:35,999 We've been packing boxes until now. 1186 01:24:37,750 --> 01:24:40,993 I had no idea penis hats could be so bulky. 1187 01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:49,825 Here you are. Oh. 1188 01:24:54,875 --> 01:24:56,866 -Cool room. -Thanks. 1189 01:24:57,042 --> 01:24:59,374 -He stopped crying. -Good. 1190 01:24:59,542 --> 01:25:01,203 Get a grip, dude. 1191 01:25:01,375 --> 01:25:04,743 He's such an embarrassment, always been so sentimental. 1192 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:07,832 Will you come over more often now? 1193 01:25:08,500 --> 01:25:10,286 I think so. 1194 01:25:10,917 --> 01:25:13,875 Do you at least know some good stories about love? 1195 01:25:16,167 --> 01:25:17,828 I can try, but... 1196 01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:21,165 I'm afraid I'm a total beginner. 1197 01:25:23,833 --> 01:25:26,370 I used to be a cool, independent woman. 1198 01:25:27,667 --> 01:25:31,410 But lately I've become the most pathetic life form. 1199 01:25:31,583 --> 01:25:35,201 Lately I've become a woman who turned down a guy several times 1200 01:25:35,375 --> 01:25:38,822 and who asks herself every night if that was a good idea. 1201 01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:41,241 Or if she's more afraid of a relationship 1202 01:25:41,417 --> 01:25:43,909 than Berlusconi and Trump are of good hair dye. 1203 01:25:44,167 --> 01:25:46,750 -Shall we pull her off the stage? -My thinking is... 1204 01:25:47,000 --> 01:25:49,207 It's pathetic, but she's honest. 1205 01:25:49,458 --> 01:25:52,746 ...either I wait the usual four years like all psychopaths 1206 01:25:52,917 --> 01:25:55,454 before I have a clarifying chat at 3 am, 1207 01:25:55,625 --> 01:25:58,083 with two per mill and hallucinations of love. 1208 01:25:58,333 --> 01:26:01,200 Or I'll just make it more direct. More personal. 1209 01:26:01,458 --> 01:26:04,905 If I see the guy again, I'll break his legs, and he can't leave. 1210 01:26:05,083 --> 01:26:06,869 Problem solved. 1211 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:10,208 She is too depressed even for the depressed. 1212 01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:11,865 Sometimes I miss the star. 1213 01:26:12,125 --> 01:26:15,698 I think those stupid films with happy endings should be banned. 1214 01:26:16,917 --> 01:26:20,035 Instead, they should show realistic films 1215 01:26:20,292 --> 01:26:22,829 with rent increases and stupid shit. 1216 01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,707 That might be better. 1217 01:26:44,542 --> 01:26:46,954 Well, I don't want to interfere, but... 1218 01:26:47,125 --> 01:26:51,995 if I promise not to take off, would you refrain from breaking my legs? 1219 01:26:53,167 --> 01:26:54,657 It wasn't about you at all. 1220 01:26:54,833 --> 01:26:57,450 Did you think it was about you? It wasn't. 1221 01:26:57,625 --> 01:26:59,957 -Okay. - It really wasn't about you. 1222 01:27:01,458 --> 01:27:04,041 I just wanted to reapply. 1223 01:27:04,292 --> 01:27:06,533 I think I deserve a fair chance. 1224 01:27:06,708 --> 01:27:08,540 So, theater fever has gripped you? 1225 01:27:08,792 --> 01:27:11,625 I would overwhelm you as a dancing tampon. 1226 01:27:15,125 --> 01:27:18,083 What's so kitsch about happy endings, by the way? 1227 01:27:19,458 --> 01:27:21,916 They are just totally unrealistic. 1228 01:27:22,083 --> 01:27:25,326 It doesn't happen every day that a superstar falls into your vulva 1229 01:27:25,500 --> 01:27:28,162 and becomes obsessed with you, it doesn't happen. 1230 01:27:28,333 --> 01:27:31,041 I happen to know someone who that happened to. 1231 01:27:31,792 --> 01:27:33,157 -Holy shit. -Yes. 1232 01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:34,994 And how do you get rid of him? 1233 01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:39,331 You don't. 1234 01:28:28,083 --> 01:28:30,575 NEW THEATER 3000 1235 01:28:49,083 --> 01:28:50,289 Thanks. 1236 01:28:59,167 --> 01:29:00,874 Thank you. 1237 01:29:01,042 --> 01:29:03,079 Thank you. Very nice. 1238 01:29:06,458 --> 01:29:09,166 Yes, you might wonder what I'm doing here. 1239 01:29:09,333 --> 01:29:13,748 Normally, waning stars prefer to try their luck in the jungle. 1240 01:29:15,292 --> 01:29:17,659 But I prefer eating chicken with broccoli 1241 01:29:17,833 --> 01:29:20,074 to steamed crocodile testicles on ice. 1242 01:29:21,542 --> 01:29:24,250 I haven't tried them, I'm following my intuition. 1243 01:29:26,500 --> 01:29:29,367 Yes, you're laughing, but it's not so easy 1244 01:29:29,542 --> 01:29:32,455 to find meaning once you've been spat out of the film bubble 1245 01:29:32,625 --> 01:29:35,367 and suddenly land back in reality. 1246 01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:39,500 Then my friend and tax adviser told me to put my last money 1247 01:29:39,750 --> 01:29:42,583 into a ruined theater. 1248 01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:49,746 That's no good. It's a totally crappy idea. 1249 01:29:50,625 --> 01:29:54,414 Well, normally, but it's not a normal theater, but... 1250 01:29:54,958 --> 01:29:56,574 a feminist theater. 1251 01:30:04,125 --> 01:30:07,868 Yes, and what are strong, independent women into most of all? 1252 01:30:08,042 --> 01:30:10,955 Sure, into celeb cis men who wave their money around. 1253 01:30:14,167 --> 01:30:18,035 So, there were a variety of strategies to put the thing into practice. 1254 01:30:18,208 --> 01:30:20,324 A really good suggestion was 1255 01:30:20,500 --> 01:30:24,243 for me to hand over the money in order to pay the debt of patriarchy, 1256 01:30:24,417 --> 01:30:26,909 and to offer to work for free, 1257 01:30:27,083 --> 01:30:30,826 as a symbol for the worldwide exploitation of female workers. 1258 01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:32,206 Wow. 1259 01:30:35,333 --> 01:30:38,325 Sounds a bit bulky, you notice that yourselves, right? 1260 01:30:39,333 --> 01:30:43,622 So we agreed on "unpaid sex slave" and moreover... 1261 01:30:44,250 --> 01:30:48,369 moreover, we founded a foundation to support theaters. 1262 01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:53,288 So no one paid anyone. The result was the same. 1263 01:30:53,542 --> 01:30:56,079 It's the best investment of my life. 1264 01:30:56,250 --> 01:30:57,832 Yes. 1265 01:31:02,458 --> 01:31:05,075 All right, I had to make a few concessions. 1266 01:31:05,250 --> 01:31:08,288 On the way to work, it's not fans following me now 1267 01:31:08,542 --> 01:31:10,783 but the railway's ticket inspectors. 1268 01:31:11,667 --> 01:31:13,749 Not even my best friend's daughters want a selfie. 1269 01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:17,914 They thought I was cooler before, because now I'm a real person. 1270 01:31:18,167 --> 01:31:19,703 It's a fact. 1271 01:31:21,083 --> 01:31:23,791 Sounds like an insult, "real person”. 1272 01:31:25,458 --> 01:31:26,994 But somehow, it's true. 1273 01:31:28,208 --> 01:31:29,994 Before that, I was an empty shell. 1274 01:31:31,167 --> 01:31:33,750 In a pre-life crisis, so to speak. 1275 01:31:35,083 --> 01:31:38,246 The life phase with a full bank account and an empty heart. You know it. 1276 01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:39,706 Right, full bank account. 1277 01:31:39,958 --> 01:31:41,744 Not familiar to anyone? 1278 01:31:41,917 --> 01:31:43,783 Yes, I noticed that too. 1279 01:31:44,042 --> 01:31:47,785 No one gets less sympathy than the guy who cries in a Porsche. 1280 01:31:49,042 --> 01:31:50,032 Yes. 1281 01:31:51,083 --> 01:31:54,496 And it really isn't so easy. 1282 01:31:54,667 --> 01:31:58,535 All the red carpets, the fans, the clothes thrown at you... 1283 01:31:58,792 --> 01:32:01,454 The wishes being read from my eyes... 1284 01:32:01,708 --> 01:32:03,915 I mean... yes. 1285 01:32:04,542 --> 01:32:06,078 Okay, you're right. 1286 01:32:06,250 --> 01:32:09,413 I miss one thing: news about me in the yellow press. 1287 01:32:10,417 --> 01:32:13,739 For example, my secret wedding happened 25 times. 1288 01:32:13,917 --> 01:32:15,499 25 times. 1289 01:32:17,375 --> 01:32:19,742 Fun fact: a wedding isn't a secret 1290 01:32:19,917 --> 01:32:22,329 just because I didn't invite the yellow press. 1291 01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:26,243 I'm not secretly going to the toilet just because I haven't tweeted about it. 1292 01:32:27,667 --> 01:32:30,500 One of the weddings took place with my best friend Hakan. 1293 01:32:30,750 --> 01:32:33,208 And the other one with my best friend Sammy. 1294 01:32:33,875 --> 01:32:35,115 Me! 1295 01:32:37,458 --> 01:32:40,871 In real life, those two would immediately file for divorce. 1296 01:32:45,292 --> 01:32:48,205 Go on, gangster, come on. Hey, hey. 1297 01:32:48,375 --> 01:32:50,332 Hello, Mr. Bosch. 1298 01:32:50,500 --> 01:32:53,413 -What are you doing here? - I liked it a lot. 1299 01:32:54,375 --> 01:32:57,447 -Congrats on the theater. -Thank you. 1300 01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:01,538 -I'm doing well now. -I wanted to ask you something. 1301 01:33:01,708 --> 01:33:05,201 Admittedly, the whole circus has become very boring without you. 1302 01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:09,281 May I write something about you and the theater? Something nice. 1303 01:33:09,542 --> 01:33:12,455 Thanks, but don't. I'm very happy just the way it is. 1304 01:33:15,458 --> 01:33:17,040 At some point, you all come back. 1305 01:33:17,792 --> 01:33:20,250 Here you are. I've been looking for you. 1306 01:33:21,458 --> 01:33:23,074 -Hello. -Hello. 1307 01:33:24,042 --> 01:33:26,079 Come on, let's go home, yeah? 1308 01:33:26,917 --> 01:33:28,499 -Bye. -Bye. 1309 01:33:47,250 --> 01:33:48,240 Oh well. 1310 01:39:17,292 --> 01:39:20,705 No Limits Media 2021 Subtitles: S. Geiges, A. Rajabali et al. 97591

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