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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:33,724 This holiday season, 1 00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:35,758 show your loved ones that you really care 2 00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,758 by getting them the gift that they've always wanted. 3 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:41,758 Whoa, dad! Really?! 4 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:43,344 Yes! 5 00:00:43,379 --> 00:00:45,137 Is there anything else? Wow. 6 00:00:45,172 --> 00:00:47,689 Slim jenko! This is just what I wanted! 7 00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:49,758 I want some! 8 00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:51,620 We can all have some. 9 00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:54,068 We here at slim jenko pride ourselves 10 00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:57,103 on delivering a rich, flavorful malt beverage 11 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,655 for the entire family. 12 00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:01,448 Make us part of your holiday tradition. 13 00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,758 This Friday night at midnight on channel 83. 14 00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:05,758 - Mommy! - Lester. 15 00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:07,379 Lester, what are you doing? 16 00:01:07,413 --> 00:01:10,379 "Killed on Christmas: The Lester lord stor..." 17 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:19,034 Wolncluding a regulation busting 2,500 milligrams 18 00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,620 of pure thc. 19 00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:22,448 Kunz Christmas creampies, 20 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,241 an established cream pie professional for over 50... 21 00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,586 The U.S. defense department has spent over 22 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,482 a trillion dollars on the most cutting edge robot technology, 23 00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:33,620 deployed overseas for a swift victory against america's 24 00:01:33,655 --> 00:01:37,137 deadliest enemies, and now sowell robotic products 25 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:40,620 is here to make that technology fun for the entire family. 26 00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:45,068 Ho. Ho. Ho. 27 00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,758 Introducing robosanta plus 28 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:48,482 for the upcoming holiday season, 29 00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:51,344 with a vocabulary of over 90,000 words, 30 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,724 a full range of motion, 31 00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:54,689 and built with military grade construction, 32 00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:57,655 robosanta plus fully replaces your local degenerate 33 00:01:57,689 --> 00:02:00,655 mall Santa, keeping you and your children safe. 34 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:04,068 Exclusively this weekend 35 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:09,517 at midland mall and gw bonkers. 36 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,241 ♪ I am the yule tide cold 37 00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:41,241 ♪ leave the winter closed 38 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:45,206 ♪ like hive of holy 39 00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:48,448 ♪ well, I dream of you 40 00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:52,103 ♪ nothing is 41 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:55,206 ♪ and the slick 42 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:59,034 ♪ to not peak at your breast, love ♪ 43 00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:03,275 ♪ Before the devil reigns 44 00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:05,448 Thanks for coming in, guys. 45 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:08,344 Thank you. Have a good one. 46 00:03:08,379 --> 00:03:10,724 Oh, shit! 47 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,551 Hi. 48 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,551 You look amazing. 49 00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:17,379 Hey, let me know if you need anything. 50 00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:19,413 Hey, it's almost 7:00, so I'm going to start 51 00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:21,068 closing up out back. You got it? 52 00:03:21,103 --> 00:03:23,137 - Yeah. - Oh, can you put this away? 53 00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:24,827 - Sure. - Thank you. 54 00:03:24,862 --> 00:03:26,068 - Hey! - Oh, shit. 55 00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:27,586 - Merry Christmas. - Hi. 56 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,251 It's about time you show your fucking face around here. 57 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,493 Yeah, I've been busy. You guys are swamped. 58 00:03:30,517 --> 00:03:32,103 I know, I know. 59 00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:33,665 I thought you and lahna were closing tonight. 60 00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:36,172 Yeah, no, I told her I had to run home because I, um... 61 00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:37,448 Didn't get her gift. 62 00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,034 - I did get her a gift. - Oh, did you? 63 00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:40,424 But I'm now second guessing it, so now I'm going 64 00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,838 - to get some records. - Oh, yeah, you should be 65 00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:43,320 second guessing this. She has both of these. 66 00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:44,793 - She does. - She does. Yeah. 67 00:03:44,827 --> 00:03:46,551 Uh, follow me. Come on. 68 00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:48,517 You guys been together for, what, like a year? 69 00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:50,206 How are you this fucking dumb? 70 00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:52,044 No, I'm not... it's... I can't tell the difference 71 00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:54,310 between all these bands that the logos all look the same. 72 00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:56,079 - They all look the fucking same? - They all look the same. 73 00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,044 - All scratchy and weird. - Yeah, they kind of do. 74 00:03:58,068 --> 00:04:01,655 Uh, all right, so what I'm going to show you now... yes. 75 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:04,034 We saw these guys open at a festival this summer. 76 00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:07,517 She was fucking all over it. They've got the psychedelic, 77 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,137 cosmic riff. She'll fucking love it. 78 00:04:09,172 --> 00:04:10,379 - Deathcrux? - Yeah. 79 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:11,793 Okay. And she does not have this? 80 00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:13,379 - She does not have this. - Right on. 81 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:14,734 - You're welcome. - Yes. No, thank you, Tori. 82 00:04:14,758 --> 00:04:16,620 Thank you. You saved Christmas again. 83 00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:20,517 By the way, I will come and say merry Christmas 84 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,172 - to Lauren. - Sounds good. 85 00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:23,838 But just don't tell her I showed up here, okay? 86 00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:25,734 - What are you talking about? - Don't do the whole thing you do 87 00:04:25,758 --> 00:04:27,286 - when you're like... - "oh, my god, it's so good 88 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,241 - to see you. - No, yeah, don't do that. 89 00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:30,379 - Okay, bye. - Okay. 90 00:04:30,413 --> 00:04:31,724 - Robbie. - Hey, bro. 91 00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:33,320 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, man. 92 00:04:33,344 --> 00:04:36,172 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 93 00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:39,068 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 94 00:04:41,551 --> 00:04:44,068 Fuck yeah. Almost 2 grand. 95 00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:47,379 - Yeah, that's a big day. - Does that mean a big boy bonus? 96 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:50,103 - Means a bonus, yeah. - Fuck yeah, dawg! 97 00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:52,620 What are you going to do with your big bonus? 98 00:04:52,655 --> 00:04:54,103 You got any plans? 99 00:04:54,137 --> 00:04:55,355 Well, the talent show is at 8:00 P.M. 100 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,068 - So, no, not really. - Yeah. 101 00:04:57,103 --> 00:04:58,769 What are you going to do this fine Christmas Eve? 102 00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:03,689 I was potentially going to go meet up with a dude, 103 00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:05,724 but I don't know. 104 00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,344 - A dude, a man. - Yep. 105 00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:08,700 Okay, on Christmas Eve, you're going to invite 106 00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:10,448 a stranger to your house. 107 00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:11,700 Uh, a stranger to Reggie's, yeah. 108 00:05:11,724 --> 00:05:13,275 Okay, cool. Fuck, they're still open. 109 00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:15,044 Did you meet him organically, 110 00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:16,562 or is this, like, a tinder sort of scenario? 111 00:05:16,586 --> 00:05:19,482 - Tinder situation, yeah. - Oh, tinder, okay. 112 00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:20,758 - Yeah. - Can I see him? 113 00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:23,517 - Eh. - Eh. He must be a fucking stud. 114 00:05:23,551 --> 00:05:25,103 What the fuck else am I supposed to do? 115 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,551 You want me to go home, drink some whiskey, 116 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:30,482 sit by the fire by my lonesome, watch "a Christmas story" 117 00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:33,413 like every other fucking douchebag in america? 118 00:05:33,448 --> 00:05:35,206 Yeah. Sounds kind of nice. 119 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:38,206 Or you to go to drink some whiskey with me. 120 00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:39,493 Uh, that lahna's Christmas gift. 121 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,034 - Is it? - So you can put a fuckin'... 122 00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:42,734 - No longer. - What the fuck are you doing? 123 00:05:42,758 --> 00:05:44,344 So, fuck no. 124 00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:45,655 I wanted to do that, too. 125 00:05:45,689 --> 00:05:48,034 So hand me some cups, and let's go. 126 00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:50,068 Are you gonna go see your pops up north tomorrow? 127 00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:51,482 - Yeah. - You should probably get 128 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,148 - a head start late tonight. - No. Fuck that. 129 00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:54,482 One day, in and out, is my rule. 130 00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:56,068 I can't see anything wrong in that. 131 00:05:56,103 --> 00:05:57,413 - Fair enough. - Mazel tov. 132 00:05:57,448 --> 00:06:01,275 Mazel tov. Cheers, motherfucker. 133 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,034 Only quit stalling. Show me Tommy tinder. 134 00:06:03,068 --> 00:06:05,034 What the fuck is your obsession with this? 135 00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:06,493 - I want to see him. - I don't want to 136 00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:07,769 - show him to you. - Is he big? Is he a big boy? 137 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:09,241 - Oh. - Bbw. 138 00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:10,631 - That what you want to know? - Yeah. 139 00:06:10,655 --> 00:06:13,620 In that case, I'll fuckin' show you. Here. 140 00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,517 What? 141 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,379 I didn't know you knew Emmett eyeliner. 142 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,448 Emmett eyeliner. Why are you calling him that? 143 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,838 - Do you know him? - I know of him. 144 00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:24,482 Did he tell you he got, like, three kids? 145 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,206 Wait four. Someone's pregnant now, I think. 146 00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:28,551 - Oh, fuck! He's got kids? - Yeah. 147 00:06:28,586 --> 00:06:30,241 I don't fucking care. 148 00:06:30,275 --> 00:06:32,620 I just want a little Christmas Eve schlong. 149 00:06:32,655 --> 00:06:35,241 Well, dude's a genic jackhammer. 150 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:37,413 - Oh, Jesus. - Little, uh, sperm canon, 151 00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:39,206 all I'm saying. 152 00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:41,424 Okay, I'm happy you told me that, so I'll wear my dental dam 153 00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:43,551 and get fucking sauced before he shows up. 154 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:45,482 Thank you. That's so sweet of you. 155 00:06:45,517 --> 00:06:46,527 Well, I'll tell you what. 156 00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:48,034 I can go to Reggie's with you 157 00:06:48,068 --> 00:06:50,379 because, um, I don't really have shit to do. 158 00:06:50,413 --> 00:06:52,620 Robbie, that's very, very sweet of you, 159 00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:53,827 but I want to get laid. 160 00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,586 Not wax poetic with the regulars. 161 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:58,482 Well, seeing as you didn't buy me a Christmas present 162 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:00,344 this year, I'm going to take this. 163 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,724 - Oh. - Thank you. 164 00:07:01,758 --> 00:07:03,551 And you can enjoy your, what, two hours 165 00:07:03,586 --> 00:07:07,758 of unbearable conversation, your 7 seconds of lame sex. 166 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:11,827 You go home, probably, you know, get yourself off anyway. 167 00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,517 Or, I'm just throwing this out there, 168 00:07:13,551 --> 00:07:18,241 you can have two hours of amazing, vivacious, 169 00:07:18,275 --> 00:07:22,172 sort of hauntingly erotic conversation. 170 00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:24,034 - Hauntingly erotic? - Hauntingly erotic? 171 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:25,758 And you can go home anyway. 172 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,551 You know, get yourself off, like, flick your little bean. 173 00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:30,379 - Oh? - Yeah. 174 00:07:30,413 --> 00:07:32,527 And you don't have to wake up next to 30 seconds to Mars. 175 00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:34,758 All right, well, I've got a proposition for you. 176 00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:36,620 How about you give me back my fucking whiskey 177 00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:40,344 and stop talking about me flicking at my fucking bean? 178 00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:41,482 - Okay. - How about that? 179 00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:43,206 Have you confirmed with him? 180 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:46,034 No, I have not given him a time. 181 00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:47,631 Poor guy. It's kind of sad. He's probably at home 182 00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:50,620 scrolling through your social media, fingers sweaty, 183 00:07:50,655 --> 00:07:53,655 hand firmly on cock, just... 184 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,413 Beating that meat, waiting for your text 185 00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:57,724 to pop up at the top. 186 00:07:57,758 --> 00:07:59,482 Mm. I've blown off twice already, so. 187 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,034 - Third time's a charm. - Yeah. 188 00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:03,655 Come on, get a drink with your old pal Robbie. 189 00:08:03,689 --> 00:08:06,827 It's my long time employee Robbie. 190 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:09,241 - That's a little bit harsh. - It's true. I own you. 191 00:08:09,275 --> 00:08:10,700 - You own me? - You're on my payroll. Yeah. 192 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,689 Mama. Okay. Okay. Okay. 193 00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:15,827 I'm going to change your mind. Have you heard his music? 194 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,758 - I have not bothered, no. - Oh, that answers a lot. 195 00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:20,379 Why? What you got? 196 00:08:20,413 --> 00:08:21,734 I'll show you something something fun. 197 00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:23,172 Hmm. 198 00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:25,137 All right. Ready? 199 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,206 I'm losing interest already. Come on. 200 00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:28,551 Alright, you'll see. 201 00:08:28,586 --> 00:08:30,044 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 202 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:32,620 What? 203 00:08:33,862 --> 00:08:35,620 - Oh, my god. - Soothing. 204 00:08:35,655 --> 00:08:37,355 Shut the fuck up. Why is he whisper singing? 205 00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:38,803 Doesn't want to wake his parents, probably. 206 00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:40,206 What the fuck? Turn that off. 207 00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:41,758 Why are you showing that to me? Stop. 208 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,424 Well, you know, it's not like you're going to saddle up 209 00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:45,286 with the son of a bitch. I mean, you should probably 210 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:48,344 let the guy go back to his family and his kids. 211 00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:49,758 He's a daddy, after all. 212 00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:51,241 - Daddy? - Yeah. 213 00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:54,413 Little Tommy tinder. 214 00:08:54,448 --> 00:08:56,206 Well... 215 00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,665 All right. Let's go get shit faced. 216 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:01,413 But you're not getting anything either. 217 00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:03,079 So if you want to go flick your fucking bean, 218 00:09:03,103 --> 00:09:04,275 do what you need to do. 219 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,827 - Come on. - All right. 220 00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:07,458 - Turn off the music. - Well, considering you were 221 00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:08,838 gonna saddle up with old Emmett eyeliner, 222 00:09:08,862 --> 00:09:10,586 I'm not sure how I should feel about that. 223 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,458 Well, I don't work with them Emmett eyeliner, do I? 224 00:09:12,482 --> 00:09:14,113 Well, I am better looking in that douche, though, right? 225 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,482 Do you want to fucking die? 226 00:09:15,517 --> 00:09:17,217 Get your fucking grubby shoes off the counter. 227 00:09:17,241 --> 00:09:20,517 Kill the music before I change my mind. 228 00:09:20,551 --> 00:09:22,734 - Should I meet you there or? - No, we're going to walk. 229 00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:27,275 - Well, it's fucking snowing out. - Oh, my god. That's so scary! 230 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,241 Come on. Get those chicken legs out. 231 00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:31,344 Let's go for a walk. I got to bring this to lahna. 232 00:09:31,379 --> 00:09:33,320 Why? They close at 6:00. They're not going to be open. 233 00:09:33,344 --> 00:09:34,793 No, they'll still be there. 234 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:36,827 They're having a little Christmas Eve fuckfest. 235 00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:38,413 What the hell, why? 236 00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:40,148 You don't want to fuck in a toy store? 237 00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:42,310 No. Well, mm, maybe. I mean... 238 00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:43,838 Sounds like you don't want to fuck in a toy store. 239 00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,172 It's just kind of weird. Like, I feel sorry for the kid 240 00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:48,148 that's going to go in tomorrow, buy a Teddy bear covered 241 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,586 - in fucking cum. - Oh, my god. 242 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,344 We're going to scar him. That poor child. 243 00:09:51,379 --> 00:09:53,724 Come on. Lock up behind you. 244 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:02,068 Robbie: We could have taken my car. 245 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,413 Would have been a smart option. 246 00:10:03,448 --> 00:10:05,413 Do you want to keep keep complaining? 247 00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:07,103 Or do you want to just walk in silence? 248 00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:08,562 - What do you want to do? - You're the one who was 249 00:10:08,586 --> 00:10:10,586 complaining all day about fucking Christmas this, 250 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,044 Christmas that, oh, I fucking hate Christmas. 251 00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:13,689 Well, Christmas fucking sucks. 252 00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:16,241 Do you not agree that there's no good fucking Christmas music, 253 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:18,517 - no good Christmas movies. - Bad religion had 254 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,665 - a great Christmas album. - Just fucking get it over with. 255 00:10:20,689 --> 00:10:22,586 - Eh. - It was good. 256 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,482 There aren't many albums that give me that spirit 257 00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:26,827 of fucking Christmas. 258 00:10:26,862 --> 00:10:28,655 Well, bad fuckin' religion, ain't it, buddy. 259 00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:30,310 Give me that. 260 00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:36,137 I would go as far to say there's like fucking two... 261 00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:38,034 Two Christmas songs that are good, 262 00:10:38,068 --> 00:10:41,517 and that's if you don't count, if and only if, you don't count 263 00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:43,551 fucking crypt keeper "Christmas rap." 264 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,103 Okay, love "tales from the crypt." 265 00:10:45,137 --> 00:10:47,103 That song sucks the fucking shit out of my ass. 266 00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:50,689 This is coming from a guy who jizzes his fucking pants 267 00:10:50,724 --> 00:10:54,827 every single time he hears buster Poindexter's cover of 268 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,793 "zat you, Santa claus?" 269 00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,700 No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that cover. 270 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,310 I like the version with the commentary 271 00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:02,172 from beavis and butthead. 272 00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:04,344 - Okay. - Okay. 273 00:11:04,379 --> 00:11:06,068 "Merry Christmas", ramones, then. 274 00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:08,344 That's mine. What's your big fucking runner up? 275 00:11:08,379 --> 00:11:13,379 Uh, sorry to say, but "merry Christmas", ramones, 276 00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:15,172 that's a fucking runner up. 277 00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,344 - Yeah. - Fuck you. 278 00:11:16,379 --> 00:11:17,620 - First place... - Fuck you. 279 00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,275 First place is our lord and savior lemmy 280 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:21,517 with "run Rudolph run." Oh, it's magic! 281 00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:23,217 Okay. It's not like it's motorhead. 282 00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:24,665 It's lemmy with the fucking Foo Fighters. 283 00:11:24,689 --> 00:11:26,827 - Oh, r.I.P. - Oh, r.I.P. 284 00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:29,206 Also lemmy is fucking motorhead, you idiot. 285 00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,275 Yeah. 286 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:31,517 Hey! 287 00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:34,241 Lahna! 288 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:35,689 She knows you're coming, right? 289 00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:37,620 Yeah, of course she knows I'm fucking coming. 290 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,172 Oh. 291 00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:41,068 - Hey, bitch. - Hi! 292 00:11:41,103 --> 00:11:42,517 Mwah! You look so good. 293 00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:43,562 - Thank you. - Hey, gorgeous. 294 00:11:43,586 --> 00:11:45,275 - Mwah. - Mwah. 295 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:48,655 I brought you and Jay a little something, something. 296 00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,275 Ooh, I got you this. 297 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,527 Oh, my god. I love you so much. 298 00:11:51,551 --> 00:11:53,379 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 299 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,724 Where's Jay? 300 00:11:54,758 --> 00:11:56,758 He's in the back, freshening up. 301 00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:59,517 You know, he just gets a little musty. 302 00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:01,586 He gets a little musty? 303 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,182 - You got a lot going on. - Musty she says. 304 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:04,734 Yeah, you know all about that, right? 305 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,803 - No, I do. - You know all about that? 306 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:07,413 - Baby. - Yeah. 307 00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:08,631 You know all about a little musty must? 308 00:12:08,655 --> 00:12:10,310 I got a stinky dick. 309 00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,551 - That's so fucked up. - Cute, right? 310 00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:14,034 - Bitch. - Yeah? 311 00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,655 You already cracked this open. 312 00:12:15,689 --> 00:12:18,379 We may have had, like, like a couple of drinks. 313 00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:21,724 This is the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 314 00:12:21,758 --> 00:12:24,034 I know. I know. It's very nice. And listen. 315 00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:25,700 Because we love you. We didn't buy it for you. 316 00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:27,827 We're giving it to you. 317 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:30,413 - Well, merry fucking Christmas. - Merry fucking Christmas. 318 00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:33,310 - Baby! - On it. Jesus Christ! 319 00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:34,517 - Hey! - This motherfucker. 320 00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:35,758 I haven't seen you in so long. 321 00:12:35,793 --> 00:12:37,448 - How are you? - Oh, yeah. Right? 322 00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:39,103 - How are you? - Hey, bro. 323 00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:40,458 - Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 324 00:12:40,482 --> 00:12:42,068 - You look good. - Thank you. 325 00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:43,631 - Yeah, you do. - I've been doing nothing but 326 00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:46,275 selling toys and fucking living the clean life. 327 00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,034 Keep up. 328 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,172 Oh! Um, what's up with you two? What's going on here? 329 00:12:51,206 --> 00:12:53,148 - Uh, just grabbing a drink. - Just grabbing a drink. 330 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,631 I had to talk her out of some tinder trash. 331 00:12:54,655 --> 00:12:56,103 You didn't talk me out of anything. 332 00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,389 What was his name? Emmett... Emmett... 333 00:12:57,413 --> 00:12:58,734 - We don't have to talk... - Emmett! Oh, shit! 334 00:12:58,758 --> 00:13:00,275 No, I think we're ignoring that. 335 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,562 Motherfuckin' four-kid Emmett. Four kid Emmett? 336 00:13:01,586 --> 00:13:03,137 - No. - Nearly five kid Emmett. 337 00:13:03,172 --> 00:13:04,424 Four kid Emmett. Why does everybody know Emmett 338 00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:06,103 - except for me? - He's got four kids. 339 00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,034 - All right. Well, cheers. Yeah. - No, no, no. 340 00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:09,631 What was the song? What was the song? It was... 341 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:11,172 We don't need the song. 342 00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:14,034 ♪ And her heart whispers in my head ♪ 343 00:13:14,068 --> 00:13:15,596 - Alright, fuckers. - Go for it, tap on in. 344 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:16,827 ♪ Because she's half dead 345 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,689 - Tori! - No, no, no, no. 346 00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:20,413 Come back, come back, come back, come back. 347 00:13:20,448 --> 00:13:21,803 - Come back, come back. - Alright, you guys, I'm back. 348 00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,355 - It's a catchy song. - It's a good song. 349 00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:24,424 It's the feel good hit of the winter. 350 00:13:24,448 --> 00:13:25,551 - Okay, cheers. - Cheers. 351 00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:27,241 - To Christmas! - To Christmas! 352 00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:29,103 - Bah humbug. - Bah humbug. 353 00:13:29,137 --> 00:13:30,310 Ho, ho, ho. 354 00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:32,172 Come sit on Santa's lap 355 00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:34,517 and tell him what you want for Christmas. 356 00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:36,206 Ugh! 357 00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:39,517 - I fucking hate that. - No, they all get recalled. 358 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,620 Priest said that to me when I was a young boy. 359 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,724 Are you okay? You're not fucking okay. 360 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,482 - No, I'm not well. - It's so bad. 361 00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:48,379 Thank god they're taking it out on Friday. 362 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,458 Has he ever come to life while you guys were fucking? 363 00:13:50,482 --> 00:13:51,758 Oh, he joins. 364 00:13:51,793 --> 00:13:53,206 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 365 00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:54,758 - He's anatomical. - Oh, really? 366 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,586 - Big bad Santa. - Okay. 367 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,103 - Big Santa. - But I am hoping that they 368 00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:00,182 leave behind this aspect of it. 369 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,275 What? 370 00:14:02,586 --> 00:14:06,724 - Oh! - Oh, baby, it's so romantic! 371 00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:09,206 Okay, we're getting the fuck out of here. 372 00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:10,389 This is too much Christmas for me. 373 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:12,827 - Oh, no, no. - No, no, no, stay, stay. 374 00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:16,793 Stop! I fuckin'... that's a lot. That is a lot. 375 00:14:16,827 --> 00:14:19,620 It's really excessive. We're gonna have one drink and go. 376 00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:21,310 - All right. Yeah, fine. - Fine. 377 00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:23,068 We could just... You guys hang out. 378 00:14:23,103 --> 00:14:24,700 - We could have some more drinks. - We're not going to hang out. 379 00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:26,251 - The four of us. - We're not gonna hang out. 380 00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:27,803 - Santa, the anatomical Santa. - We're good. 381 00:14:27,827 --> 00:14:29,241 - Okay, alright. - Alright. 382 00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:30,620 - Easy, tiger. - Alright. 383 00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:32,206 - Cheers. - Cheers. 384 00:14:32,241 --> 00:14:34,517 Fuck. Merry Christmas to a fuckin' day off. 385 00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:36,379 - Little bit of flavor in there. - Yeah. 386 00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:38,551 - Mm. - Okay, I love you. 387 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,379 Get the fuck out. I want to fuck my husband. 388 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,689 - Mwah. - Merry Christmas. 389 00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:42,827 - Merry Christmas. - Bye. 390 00:14:42,862 --> 00:14:44,172 - See you. - See you. 391 00:14:44,206 --> 00:14:45,286 - See ya, bud. - All right. We're going. 392 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,206 - Goodbye. - See ya. 393 00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:49,793 ♪ Oh, she's whispering in my head ♪ 394 00:14:49,827 --> 00:14:51,758 Fucking hate you guys! 395 00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:53,689 ♪ I'm half deaf for you 396 00:14:53,724 --> 00:14:56,689 I'm stealing your candy. Thank you. 397 00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:58,689 - Come on, let's go. - Ugh! 398 00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:00,241 Let's fucking go. 399 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:01,655 - God! - Come on! 400 00:15:01,689 --> 00:15:03,758 Coming. I'm coming. 401 00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:08,103 Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. 402 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,620 Sowell robotic products' new animatronic 403 00:15:15,655 --> 00:15:17,655 state of the art Santa claus featured at our own 404 00:15:17,689 --> 00:15:19,803 t.w. Bonkers is now the subject of an international recall. 405 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:21,665 There have been reports that some of the Santa units 406 00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:24,034 are reverting to their old defense department firmware. 407 00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:26,689 Thus far, most of the reports have been of harmless pranks. 408 00:15:26,724 --> 00:15:29,482 Fuck no! 409 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,068 Larry, can you turn that shit off? 410 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:32,551 - That's so depressing. - Yeah. 411 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:34,034 You guys want one more 412 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,172 to close it out? 413 00:15:35,206 --> 00:15:36,689 Yeah, we will. 414 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,562 Can we get another round and a shot of whiskey, please? 415 00:15:38,586 --> 00:15:40,493 You're going to chase a shot of whiskey with more whiskey? 416 00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:42,482 I am. It's a holiday. That's what you do. 417 00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:44,379 - This is true. - Thank you. 418 00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:47,172 Is this, uh, together? Or separate? 419 00:15:47,206 --> 00:15:49,655 Togeth... together. 420 00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:51,137 It's on one bill. I got it. 421 00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:52,700 - Oh, la di da. - It's part of your bonus. 422 00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:55,344 Although I am a little disappointed. 423 00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:57,655 He didn't even offer to pay for the fuckin' last... 424 00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,310 Excuse me, this is not a date, remember? 425 00:15:59,344 --> 00:16:01,482 Yeah, no, I fuckin' remember now. 426 00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:03,034 Happy I didn't think otherwise. 427 00:16:03,068 --> 00:16:04,137 - Fun hangout - yeah. 428 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,586 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 429 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:08,103 You think would have picked up the tab for, uh, 430 00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:11,103 doctor fuckin' Emmett eyeliner. 431 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,689 Depends on how the night went. 432 00:16:12,724 --> 00:16:14,838 Probably would have forgotten his wallet or something. 433 00:16:14,862 --> 00:16:17,655 Mnh-mnh. Did this dude fuck your mom or something? 434 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:20,310 Why the fuck... every single time you talk about him, 435 00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:21,827 I'm like so close to forgetting him, 436 00:16:21,862 --> 00:16:23,275 and then you bring him up again. 437 00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:24,769 I'm just like, just like, it baffles me 438 00:16:24,793 --> 00:16:26,217 that you were going to let him, like, you know, 439 00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:27,665 - stick his penis just... - Taint me? 440 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:29,217 - Inside you. - He's gonna fuckin' taint me? 441 00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:30,596 - He was gonna taint you. - Yeah, I'm horny, 442 00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,380 and it's a holiday. What am I supposed to do? 443 00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:34,827 Do you want to go through... Larry, do you want to go through 444 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,517 Robbie's list of prize catches? 445 00:16:36,551 --> 00:16:38,068 - Not again. - 'Cause fuckin'... 446 00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,596 No, remember this? Remember rotten Rebecca? 447 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,079 The one that smelled like a fucking fish market. 448 00:16:41,103 --> 00:16:42,793 - Oh, god. - She was great. 449 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,355 Yeah, had to walk out of the room every time... 450 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,103 - Rotten Rebecca. - Every time she fucking 451 00:16:46,137 --> 00:16:47,172 walked in one. 452 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:48,517 Oh, my god. 453 00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:50,172 That honestly made me want to throw up. 454 00:16:50,206 --> 00:16:51,310 That was so gross. 455 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,482 Who else? Come on. 456 00:16:52,517 --> 00:16:54,103 Do you want to talk about Tina? 457 00:16:54,137 --> 00:16:56,620 - Tina? - Googly eyed Tina? 458 00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:58,355 Do you want me to keep going? That's my point. 459 00:16:58,379 --> 00:16:59,838 - That was a condition. - Do you want me to keep going? 460 00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:01,551 - She couldn't help it. - Okay. 461 00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:04,103 - She's a beautiful woman. - Can you shut the fuck up? 462 00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:05,320 Okay, babe, no, seriously. 463 00:17:05,344 --> 00:17:07,172 He's been her employee for years. 464 00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:09,103 One, I think it's illegal if they fuck. 465 00:17:09,137 --> 00:17:11,724 And two, he'll never close the deal. 466 00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:16,758 She had that glow in her eyes. 467 00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,734 Okay, okay, fine. No, she fucking might have. 468 00:17:18,758 --> 00:17:20,217 But he won't even come close to closing the deal. 469 00:17:20,241 --> 00:17:21,620 - What? - Not at all. 470 00:17:21,655 --> 00:17:24,482 1,000 percent they're fucking tonight. 471 00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:27,137 - Fuck that. - Unless Robbie's dick 472 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:30,517 gets chopped up, they're gonna fuck tonight. 473 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,827 What are you fuck... Fuck that. Okay. All right. 474 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,413 - You want him bet? - Yeah. 475 00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,241 Okay, great, great, great, great. 476 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:38,527 Alright, how much you fucking want to bet then? 477 00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:39,803 Are you ever going to settle down, 478 00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:41,517 you know, chill the fuck out. 479 00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:42,517 Are you? 480 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,137 - Yeah. - Yeah? 481 00:17:44,172 --> 00:17:45,793 - Hopefully. - Oh, okay, great. 482 00:17:45,827 --> 00:17:47,665 Well, maybe I'll fucking settle down when I can find a man 483 00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,241 that can keep up with me. 484 00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:51,206 Do you know how hard it is being in a world 485 00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:54,689 surrounded by so many boys that can't handle a woman 486 00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:57,034 who can out drink, out earn and out fuck them, 487 00:17:57,068 --> 00:17:58,275 for the love of god? 488 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:01,137 Do you know how many men cannot fuck? 489 00:18:01,172 --> 00:18:03,068 - There's a few. - No. 490 00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:04,482 - And some can. - None of them know 491 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,079 how to eat pussy. I'll tell you that right now. 492 00:18:06,103 --> 00:18:07,379 - See, I beg to differ. - No. 493 00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:09,206 In fact, I would argue there are one, 494 00:18:09,241 --> 00:18:11,068 maybe two people in this general vicinity 495 00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:13,724 who can do it with the ferocity of a fucking tyrannosaurus 496 00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:17,034 no, no. 497 00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:18,724 - Larry. - Larry. 498 00:18:18,758 --> 00:18:20,689 Can you please, for the love of god, 499 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,620 give me one more round. 500 00:18:22,655 --> 00:18:24,286 I'll be you 501 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:29,620 that if they fuck, I'll make you a steak dinner. 502 00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:31,275 - Really? - Yeah. 503 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,413 Wearing nothing but an apron. 504 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,137 If I lose? 505 00:18:39,172 --> 00:18:42,137 Oh, when you lose, 506 00:18:42,172 --> 00:18:44,793 you have to eat my ass out on this throne. 507 00:18:44,827 --> 00:18:47,172 Well, why wait? Why don't I eat it fuckin' right now? 508 00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:48,655 Daddy's hungry. 509 00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:51,034 Ah! Daddy! 510 00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:53,551 Oh! 511 00:18:53,586 --> 00:18:55,793 I can trace it back every fucking time. 512 00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:59,034 The second they cut their hair, they cut their worst record! 513 00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:02,103 Ah, it's just such an absurd claim. 514 00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:05,517 It isn't... it's a fucking absurdly correct claim. 515 00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,827 Is what it is. Okay? 516 00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:09,758 Do you remember that fucking study I showed you? 517 00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:12,379 - Oh, yeah. The scientist one. - Yes, the fuckin' scientist one. 518 00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:15,034 The second that they cut the hair of 519 00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:17,379 a native American person, they lost, like, 520 00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:19,172 - all sense of intuition. - Okay. 521 00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:20,631 - Like fucking all of it. - First off. 522 00:19:20,655 --> 00:19:22,482 - And it's really scary. - First off. 523 00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:25,310 Whatever bullshit fucking blog you pulled that study off... 524 00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:27,034 - A government study, dude. - Government. 525 00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:28,562 Has about as much merit as the fucking Reddit thread. 526 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:30,413 - Okay. - Second off, second off, 527 00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:32,827 that has absolutely zero fucking merit when it comes to 528 00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:35,344 talking about somebody's actual musical ability. 529 00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:37,344 Okay. I'm going to go through the fucking list. 530 00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:38,655 - Okay, do it. - Metallica. 531 00:19:38,689 --> 00:19:40,310 - Yeah? - Yeah. 532 00:19:40,344 --> 00:19:42,724 They cut their hair, the fuckers release "load." 533 00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:46,413 Yeah? Soundgarden. Cornell cuts his hair off. 534 00:19:46,448 --> 00:19:49,517 Opts for the Spencers gift tips with the frosted spikes, 535 00:19:49,551 --> 00:19:51,586 and then the motherfuckers release "superunknown"! 536 00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:54,551 - What is that?! - Boom! Boom right there, bitch! 537 00:19:54,586 --> 00:19:56,137 Voids your argument? Do you know why? 538 00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:59,827 - Why? Tell me why. - 'Cause "superunknown", 539 00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:01,482 - peak soundgarden. - Oh, fuckin'... 540 00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,665 - Are you kidding me? - Not one bad track on the album. 541 00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:05,389 Are you actually going to stop with the fucking 542 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,068 Jesus Christ pose right now? 543 00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,655 What the fuck?! Are you serious?! 544 00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,724 Are you fuckin'... 545 00:20:10,758 --> 00:20:13,103 Are you fucking kidding me? 546 00:20:13,137 --> 00:20:16,379 That's so fuckin' dumb, so fuckin' dumb. 547 00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:18,034 Let me guess. 548 00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:20,344 You prefer you prefer, uh, you prefer Van hagar? 549 00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:24,413 "Prefer" is a strong word. They lost zero appeal 550 00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:25,827 when diamond Dave ducked out. 551 00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,448 - Oh! Really? - Yes, really. 552 00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:31,137 Because it's around that time that they got 553 00:20:31,172 --> 00:20:33,758 rid of their guitar god, and then replaced him 554 00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:36,827 with a synth loving clone of said guitar god. 555 00:20:36,862 --> 00:20:39,137 Alright, get your ass off the bar, Robbie. 556 00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:40,793 - Oh. - Hate to break up the party. 557 00:20:40,827 --> 00:20:42,793 I got four little diaper pissers at home. 558 00:20:42,827 --> 00:20:44,665 They're going to wake me up in four hours. Let's... 559 00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:46,379 Yes, thank you. 560 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,517 I don't want to listen to this fucking guy anyway. 561 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,310 - Sweet baby. Jesus. - Mm, got my card. 562 00:20:50,344 --> 00:20:53,413 Slow your roll, Larry. Got two more coming my way. 563 00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:56,034 - I'll pour you one. - Hands behind your back. 564 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,482 - Hands behind my back? - You're lucky like you. 565 00:20:58,517 --> 00:21:00,620 Yeah, and you're lucky I don't have health inspector 566 00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:01,689 shut this shit hole down. 567 00:21:03,724 --> 00:21:04,793 He's right. 568 00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:06,413 Is he right? 569 00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:10,448 - And pour Tori and her new Beau. - Oh, thanks, man. 570 00:21:10,482 --> 00:21:14,103 One and one for yourself, Larry. 571 00:21:14,137 --> 00:21:16,413 I didn't know you two were a thing. 572 00:21:16,448 --> 00:21:17,551 - We're not. - Yet. 573 00:21:17,586 --> 00:21:19,620 Get fucked. 574 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,413 Ah, yeah! 575 00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:54,034 The wife's back is with her family. 576 00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:02,068 So that's why I'm spending Christmas alone. 577 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:04,413 Unless you count that fucking mutt 578 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,793 that won't keep its trap shut. 579 00:22:05,827 --> 00:22:07,517 Why do you have a fucking dog then, man? 580 00:22:07,551 --> 00:22:09,482 You think I wanted that thing? 581 00:22:09,517 --> 00:22:12,275 - That's all Donna. - Okay. 582 00:22:12,310 --> 00:22:14,758 That little son of a whore is like an angel around her. 583 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,827 But with me, just me, it won't shut the fuck up 584 00:22:17,862 --> 00:22:20,379 because I won't spoil him, like Donna does. 585 00:22:20,413 --> 00:22:22,068 Just like with her old man. 586 00:22:22,103 --> 00:22:24,113 Yeah, I think... I think it sounds like the dog just 587 00:22:24,137 --> 00:22:26,517 probably needs, like, some lovin' from daddy Monroe. 588 00:22:26,551 --> 00:22:28,482 - Like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 589 00:22:28,517 --> 00:22:31,448 I think the little bastard needs his balls clipped. 590 00:22:31,482 --> 00:22:33,413 - Hey, man. - Sure. 591 00:22:33,448 --> 00:22:35,172 Donna had me get my balls clipped 592 00:22:35,206 --> 00:22:39,103 - two days after Henry was born. - Jesus fucking Christ. 593 00:22:39,137 --> 00:22:44,206 You're gonna wake up a sleeping, junior. 594 00:22:44,241 --> 00:22:47,206 Well, uh, here, let's have a toast. 595 00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,724 I think you've had enough there, supercuts. 596 00:22:49,758 --> 00:22:51,448 Cheers. 597 00:22:51,482 --> 00:22:54,724 Cheers. 598 00:22:56,517 --> 00:23:00,206 Here, let me, uh, cover what these kids are drinking. 599 00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:03,379 - Oh, no, no, that's... - No, hey, hey, hey, hey. 600 00:23:03,413 --> 00:23:04,793 - You... - Thank you, chief. 601 00:23:04,827 --> 00:23:08,482 - Keep the rest for yourself. - Thank you. 602 00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:10,758 Watch yourself with that one. 603 00:23:10,793 --> 00:23:12,241 Merry Christmas, sheriff. 604 00:23:12,275 --> 00:23:14,482 Shit, that little punk motherfucker, 605 00:23:14,517 --> 00:23:16,413 wipe that smirk off... 606 00:23:16,448 --> 00:23:19,344 Mm. That sucked the fucking Christmas early. 607 00:23:19,379 --> 00:23:22,068 God damn, what a sad fuckin' human being. 608 00:23:22,103 --> 00:23:25,206 You gonna be good to drive? 609 00:23:25,241 --> 00:23:26,758 Uh, no. 610 00:23:26,793 --> 00:23:29,206 I drove with Robbie... I fuckin' walked with Robbie. 611 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,655 If I drove you, you'd be fucked. 612 00:23:30,689 --> 00:23:32,458 So much for drinking every guy under the table. 613 00:23:32,482 --> 00:23:36,517 Excuse me. You've got, like, at least five pounds on me. 614 00:23:36,551 --> 00:23:38,103 Soaking wet maybe. 615 00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:39,389 Get her home safe. Robbie. 616 00:23:39,413 --> 00:23:41,034 What the fuck's that's supposed to mean? 617 00:23:41,068 --> 00:23:43,068 - It's a big world out there. - You get home safe. 618 00:23:43,103 --> 00:23:45,206 Better watch for your children. 619 00:23:46,655 --> 00:23:48,517 - I'm just kidding. - Sounded so threatening. 620 00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:51,000 - Good night. - Thank you, Larry. 621 00:23:53,551 --> 00:23:55,827 - Ugh. - Come on. 622 00:23:58,862 --> 00:24:00,310 Yes! 623 00:24:01,551 --> 00:24:02,793 Oh, shit. 624 00:24:02,827 --> 00:24:04,551 Not yet. 625 00:24:04,586 --> 00:24:06,103 It's coming early. 626 00:24:06,137 --> 00:24:07,103 Hold it. No, baby, hold it. 627 00:24:07,137 --> 00:24:09,137 Hold it! You better not! 628 00:24:09,172 --> 00:24:10,517 Fuck! You better not! 629 00:24:10,551 --> 00:24:12,413 Ah! 630 00:24:14,068 --> 00:24:16,241 Like, what did he arrest you for? 631 00:24:16,275 --> 00:24:18,482 It was fucking... You were like... 632 00:24:18,517 --> 00:24:20,310 You were like pissing on a playground. 633 00:24:20,344 --> 00:24:22,217 I didn't know the kid was going to show up like that. 634 00:24:22,241 --> 00:24:24,034 Oh, fuck, and the kid was his grandson. 635 00:24:24,068 --> 00:24:25,413 Yeah, I made him a man. 636 00:24:25,448 --> 00:24:27,044 That's fucked. You took that away from him. 637 00:24:27,068 --> 00:24:28,620 - I know. - You took it away him. 638 00:24:47,206 --> 00:24:50,310 Somebody help! 639 00:24:50,344 --> 00:24:51,665 Do you want to keep drinking, or...? 640 00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:54,793 I mean, yeah. What are you thinking? 641 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,551 - What am I thinking? - Yeah. 642 00:25:13,448 --> 00:25:16,206 You can come over and kill that bottle with me. 643 00:25:16,241 --> 00:25:17,586 - Really? - Yeah. 644 00:25:17,620 --> 00:25:19,068 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 645 00:25:19,103 --> 00:25:21,034 Come kill the fucking bottle. 646 00:25:21,068 --> 00:25:23,310 I said come over for a drink, not over for a fuck. 647 00:25:28,482 --> 00:25:30,962 Well, it sounds like someone's hankering for a little bit of... 648 00:25:34,551 --> 00:25:36,620 - You hear that? - Hear what? 649 00:25:46,862 --> 00:25:48,241 Yeah, dawg! 650 00:25:48,275 --> 00:25:50,482 Jay hitting that pipe. 651 00:25:50,517 --> 00:25:51,838 Yeah, he's hitting that fucking pipe. 652 00:25:51,862 --> 00:25:53,275 Speaking of, have you seen it? 653 00:25:53,310 --> 00:25:55,137 Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck. 654 00:25:55,172 --> 00:25:57,172 - It's fat. - Oh, he be gaping that shit 655 00:25:57,206 --> 00:25:58,793 for sure. 656 00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:13,103 How old are you, fuckin' 12? 657 00:26:13,137 --> 00:26:14,596 I can see you smoking that blunt from here! 658 00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:16,793 - I didn't fuckin' ask... - I said give it to me! 659 00:26:16,827 --> 00:26:19,482 I need to salvage this Lincoln log... 660 00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:21,827 - No! - Before you run it into 661 00:26:21,862 --> 00:26:23,379 the fuckin' ground. 662 00:26:26,517 --> 00:26:29,103 Yeah, I want to fuckin' salvage this thing. 663 00:26:29,137 --> 00:26:30,700 What are we watching when we get to yours, 664 00:26:30,724 --> 00:26:32,413 "a Christmas story"? 665 00:26:32,448 --> 00:26:34,217 What is your fucking obsession with "a Christmas story"? 666 00:26:34,241 --> 00:26:35,596 What's your issue with "a Christmas story"? 667 00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:37,148 You're the one that brought it up earlier. 668 00:26:37,172 --> 00:26:38,620 Everyone's obsessed with it. 669 00:26:38,655 --> 00:26:40,251 If you want to watch a Bob Clark Christmas movie 670 00:26:40,275 --> 00:26:42,758 will watch fucking "black Christmas." 671 00:26:42,793 --> 00:26:45,275 Oh, that... That blumhouse joint? 672 00:26:45,310 --> 00:26:47,758 I'm just going to drive myself home. 673 00:26:47,793 --> 00:26:49,596 No, no, no. You said we were going to my car... 674 00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:51,758 If you want to go home and fucking jerk off 675 00:26:51,793 --> 00:26:54,286 - to fucking blumhouse movies... - Get your fuckin' ass over here. 676 00:26:54,310 --> 00:26:56,355 Okay, but are you done spewing garbage out of your fuckin' 677 00:26:56,379 --> 00:26:57,724 - whore mouth? - Oh, there it is. 678 00:26:57,758 --> 00:26:59,551 There's your fuckin' Rhode Island accent. 679 00:26:59,586 --> 00:27:01,793 I maybe sound like I'm from Rhode Island, 680 00:27:01,827 --> 00:27:04,517 but at least I don't have shit taste in movies, 681 00:27:04,551 --> 00:27:09,068 shit opinions on everything, and drive a fucking shit car. 682 00:27:09,103 --> 00:27:10,562 Uh, excuse me, this is basically 683 00:27:10,586 --> 00:27:12,034 the same as your fucking car. 684 00:27:12,068 --> 00:27:13,217 Don't say that about her. She's beautiful. 685 00:27:13,241 --> 00:27:14,793 - Also... - I get her first. 686 00:27:14,827 --> 00:27:16,493 My lady. My lady. You got to get in on this side. 687 00:27:16,517 --> 00:27:18,275 You haven't got this fucking car fixed yet? 688 00:27:18,310 --> 00:27:19,655 With what you pay me, 689 00:27:19,689 --> 00:27:22,172 you think I can afford a fucking door? 690 00:27:22,206 --> 00:27:24,034 What are you doing with your paychecks? 691 00:27:24,068 --> 00:27:25,527 - This is... - My minimum, my minimum... 692 00:27:25,551 --> 00:27:27,034 That's embarrassing. 693 00:27:27,068 --> 00:27:28,389 My minimum fucking wage paycheck. 694 00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:29,803 Yeah, your minimum fucking wage paycheck. 695 00:27:29,827 --> 00:27:31,103 - Get it. - That should be 696 00:27:31,137 --> 00:27:33,068 - a fucking priority. - Please. 697 00:27:33,103 --> 00:27:34,551 - Wow. - Lady. 698 00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:37,103 No, I changed my fucking mind. I changed my mind. 699 00:27:37,137 --> 00:27:38,665 Hop in, hot shot. We got fucking whiskey waiting. 700 00:27:38,689 --> 00:27:40,241 - Get in. - Oh, whiskey you say? 701 00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:41,482 - Yes. - Okay, in that case, 702 00:27:41,517 --> 00:27:43,344 - shut your fucking mouth. - Oh, this mouth. 703 00:27:43,379 --> 00:27:45,586 This fucking whore mouth and that devil's tongue, baby. 704 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:49,310 - Ew, shut the... Robbie. - Come on, what? 705 00:27:49,344 --> 00:27:50,769 - This is a... - Get your fuckin' ass in. 706 00:27:50,793 --> 00:27:52,827 Don't touch my fuckin' ass. 707 00:27:52,862 --> 00:27:54,655 She got a bit of a fight in her. All right. 708 00:27:54,689 --> 00:27:58,103 - Call fucking H.R. - I'll give you space. 709 00:27:58,137 --> 00:27:59,655 No wonder you don't get fuckin' laid. 710 00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:03,758 - Look at this. - What? 711 00:28:03,793 --> 00:28:05,344 No wonder you don't get fucking laid. 712 00:28:05,379 --> 00:28:07,482 - This is disgusting. - It adds to the flavor. 713 00:28:07,517 --> 00:28:10,758 Adds to the flavor of what? A fucking chicken Coop. 714 00:28:10,793 --> 00:28:13,482 This is fucked up. 715 00:28:13,517 --> 00:28:15,631 Some empty cans and bottles. That's Tori tooms' break? 716 00:28:15,655 --> 00:28:17,517 No, but it's the nail in the fucking coffin 717 00:28:17,551 --> 00:28:19,275 because this is really bad. 718 00:28:19,310 --> 00:28:21,482 - Come on, baby. - How do you live like this? 719 00:28:21,517 --> 00:28:23,379 - Let's cowboy up. - Just take my car. 720 00:28:23,413 --> 00:28:26,137 Just take my fucking card. 721 00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:28,103 You just got to be patient with her. 722 00:28:28,137 --> 00:28:30,724 I'm gonna lose my buzz. 723 00:28:33,827 --> 00:28:35,620 - Hey! - Oh, god. 724 00:28:35,655 --> 00:28:38,551 - Jesus. - Feel that between my pants. 725 00:28:38,586 --> 00:28:40,665 We're going to have to roll this up the hill ourselves. 726 00:28:40,689 --> 00:28:43,275 - Alright. - Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ. 727 00:28:43,310 --> 00:28:45,586 I don't feel safe. What are you... okay. 728 00:28:45,620 --> 00:28:47,517 She's road worthy. Don't even worry about it. 729 00:28:47,551 --> 00:28:50,793 Okay! Here we go. 730 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,586 Oh, if this guy parks his fucking ranchero here 731 00:29:17,620 --> 00:29:19,344 one more time, I'm going to total it, 732 00:29:19,379 --> 00:29:21,344 smash out his fucking windows. 733 00:29:21,379 --> 00:29:23,206 Little harsh to the griswolds. 734 00:29:23,241 --> 00:29:24,838 No, it's boozin' Benny down at the bottom of the hill. 735 00:29:24,862 --> 00:29:26,793 - He's a fucking alcoholic. - Boozin' Benny. 736 00:29:26,827 --> 00:29:28,482 Just pull up behind my sister's car. 737 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,103 Wait. Your sister is here? 738 00:29:30,137 --> 00:29:31,665 Do you not listen to a fucking thing I say? 739 00:29:31,689 --> 00:29:33,562 Well, I mean, I listen, but I don't retain. 740 00:29:33,586 --> 00:29:35,586 Yeah, well, I don't want to retain the stink 741 00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:37,758 from this fucking chicken Coop, so get out. 742 00:29:37,793 --> 00:29:39,448 Come on, let's go drink. 743 00:29:39,482 --> 00:29:42,172 - Beautiful. - Oh, Jesus. 744 00:29:42,206 --> 00:29:44,379 - All right, my lady. - Listen, I really can't... 745 00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,586 Please exit your chariot. 746 00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,482 I honestly... I'm... whoa. 747 00:29:48,517 --> 00:29:50,448 I'm too drunk for this. Jesus. 748 00:29:50,482 --> 00:29:52,620 Walk carefully, please. Thank you. 749 00:29:52,655 --> 00:29:55,655 And treat her with respect and dignity. 750 00:30:01,482 --> 00:30:03,241 Uh, welcome to my humble abode. 751 00:30:03,275 --> 00:30:04,827 Yeah, it's cute. It's uh... 752 00:30:04,862 --> 00:30:07,310 Charming, classy, cute. I know. 753 00:30:07,344 --> 00:30:08,827 - Yeah, sure. - Extravagant. 754 00:30:08,862 --> 00:30:10,448 - Rustic. - Yeah. 755 00:30:10,482 --> 00:30:13,034 Humble. Barn-like. 756 00:30:13,068 --> 00:30:15,517 I really hope we don't take my sister out because 757 00:30:15,551 --> 00:30:18,379 I don't want to have to awkwardly introduce you. 758 00:30:18,413 --> 00:30:21,482 Wait, so are we drinking alone tonight, or what? 759 00:30:21,517 --> 00:30:23,482 Robbie, do not fucking listen to me? 760 00:30:23,517 --> 00:30:24,793 They're out cold. 761 00:30:24,827 --> 00:30:26,517 Out cold already? It's not even midnight. 762 00:30:26,551 --> 00:30:28,769 Plus, my lame ass brother in law doesn't even drink, so... 763 00:30:28,793 --> 00:30:32,551 Oh, that fucking cunt Mike. Yeah? 764 00:30:32,586 --> 00:30:35,206 Mr. Hollywood? Yeah. 765 00:30:38,827 --> 00:30:43,137 These goddamn neighbors and their fucking obnoxious lights. 766 00:30:43,172 --> 00:30:45,620 Hey, Tori. 767 00:30:45,655 --> 00:30:48,620 How much music was there in "unsolved mysteries"? 768 00:30:48,655 --> 00:30:50,551 - What? - I mean, like, I don't... 769 00:30:50,586 --> 00:30:52,320 I don't want to... I don't want to scare you, 770 00:30:52,344 --> 00:30:55,206 like, in your own home, but there's like six hours 771 00:30:55,241 --> 00:30:56,838 worth of the "unsolved mysteries" soundtrack? 772 00:30:56,862 --> 00:31:00,034 What the fuck is your problem with "unsolved mysteries"? 773 00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:02,137 I mean, like, 30 second intro, and then, like, 774 00:31:02,172 --> 00:31:03,620 do you need six hours? 775 00:31:03,655 --> 00:31:05,448 Have you heard it? 776 00:31:05,482 --> 00:31:08,586 No, not the entire fucking expanse of isolated soundtrack. 777 00:31:08,620 --> 00:31:11,482 Oh, well, it is the fucking creepiest goddamn synth pads 778 00:31:11,517 --> 00:31:14,103 you will ever hear in your fucking life. 779 00:31:14,137 --> 00:31:16,034 - Mm-hmm. Right. - They're amazing. Put it on. 780 00:31:16,068 --> 00:31:18,044 Yeah, okay. No, I've already got something queued up. 781 00:31:18,068 --> 00:31:19,596 No, put it on. I want you to get like soaked up and like 782 00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:20,803 - immersed in it. - No, no, no, I'm good. 783 00:31:20,827 --> 00:31:22,586 - I'm good. - It's so good. Please. 784 00:31:22,620 --> 00:31:24,424 Robbie. All right, fine. At least I know it won't be "load." 785 00:31:24,448 --> 00:31:27,344 - Oh, I know. I already looked. - Oh, did you? 786 00:31:27,379 --> 00:31:31,034 Of course. Oh, come on, Robbie. 787 00:31:31,068 --> 00:31:34,103 "Rhythms from a cosmic sky" is, like, at least four times... 788 00:31:34,137 --> 00:31:35,689 Oh, you're the worst fuckin' opinion. 789 00:31:35,724 --> 00:31:37,734 No, everybody knows that. What are you talking about? 790 00:31:37,758 --> 00:31:39,551 Uh, it's in your collection. 791 00:31:39,586 --> 00:31:40,734 Yeah, because I'm a completist. Thank you. 792 00:31:40,758 --> 00:31:43,137 - Not for metallica. - Shut up. 793 00:31:43,172 --> 00:31:46,620 Follow... get that fucking thing away from me. 794 00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:49,344 Okay. 795 00:31:49,379 --> 00:31:51,689 I'm weirdly turned on by this. 796 00:31:51,724 --> 00:31:53,793 - Really? - But I need you to stop. 797 00:32:11,103 --> 00:32:14,344 Hey, Freddy. Buddy, let's not open gifts. 798 00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:17,517 There's absolutely no fucking way 799 00:32:17,551 --> 00:32:18,803 that you actually think that "pet sematary 2" 800 00:32:18,827 --> 00:32:20,517 is better than the fucking first one! 801 00:32:20,551 --> 00:32:23,172 It's twice is good, if not fucking three times, okay? 802 00:32:23,206 --> 00:32:26,655 It's good. Not better. Not better. No. 803 00:32:26,689 --> 00:32:29,482 Edward furlong, Clancy fucking brown. 804 00:32:29,517 --> 00:32:32,413 Who, by the way, chews up scenery like it's a piece of 805 00:32:32,448 --> 00:32:34,724 fucking gum, and that soundtrack. 806 00:32:34,758 --> 00:32:37,241 They've got 12 tracks of female fronted 807 00:32:37,275 --> 00:32:41,068 fucking aggressive as hell, early '90s grunge! 808 00:32:41,103 --> 00:32:42,838 Traci lords has three goddamn songs on the album, 809 00:32:42,862 --> 00:32:44,586 and they're fucking good, they're so good. 810 00:32:44,620 --> 00:32:47,068 So, you think it's better because Traci lords, porn star, 811 00:32:47,103 --> 00:32:51,137 fucking superstar, big titty Traci lords has, what, like, 812 00:32:51,172 --> 00:32:53,172 fuckin' two tracks on the album. 813 00:32:53,206 --> 00:32:56,379 No, three, by the way, and better story. 814 00:32:56,413 --> 00:32:59,379 Better music, obviously. Better kills. 815 00:32:59,413 --> 00:33:03,620 Better makeup, better fucking cast and... 816 00:33:03,655 --> 00:33:07,551 Lord Gwynn aside, I will say, you got me there. 817 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:10,137 But Mary lambert, she was finally given free reign. 818 00:33:10,172 --> 00:33:11,700 - Yeah, that was a mistake. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 819 00:33:11,724 --> 00:33:13,517 - What the fuck are you doing? - What? 820 00:33:13,551 --> 00:33:16,413 What fucking neanderthal puts salsa on nachos 821 00:33:16,448 --> 00:33:18,379 - before they cook them? - Me. 822 00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:21,206 Freddy, put it away and get to bed. 823 00:33:26,448 --> 00:33:28,517 - "Elm street." - Part 6, "Freddy's dead." 824 00:33:28,551 --> 00:33:30,448 - Come the fuck on. - Yeah. 825 00:33:30,482 --> 00:33:32,655 Whoa! Hellraiser? 826 00:33:32,689 --> 00:33:34,344 - "Hell on earth." - Child's play? 827 00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:36,068 - 2. - Alien? 828 00:33:36,103 --> 00:33:39,206 - "Covenant." - oh, no, no, no. 829 00:33:39,241 --> 00:33:41,620 - Yes. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, 830 00:33:41,655 --> 00:33:45,551 - okay, okay, okay, okay. - Okay. 831 00:33:45,586 --> 00:33:46,827 Blair witch? 832 00:33:46,862 --> 00:33:49,344 Book of motherfucking shadows", bitch? 833 00:33:49,379 --> 00:33:51,424 It's a fucking classic, and you're going to watch it, 834 00:33:51,448 --> 00:33:54,551 and you'll... stop. You'll get it. I promise. 835 00:33:54,586 --> 00:33:56,379 Do you use your little fucking fingers, like, 836 00:33:56,413 --> 00:33:57,803 typing on the keyboard, and you're like, 837 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,241 "oh, like Reddit, Reddit thread." 838 00:33:59,275 --> 00:34:00,734 Shut the fuck up. No, no, I am like, 839 00:34:00,758 --> 00:34:02,620 I am a gal with fucking strong opinions. 840 00:34:02,655 --> 00:34:04,241 And now we're going to take a shot to 841 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:05,424 "book of" motherfuckin' "shadows" 842 00:34:05,448 --> 00:34:07,379 because it's so good. 843 00:34:07,413 --> 00:34:09,310 Ah. 844 00:34:39,103 --> 00:34:40,620 Oh, fuck. 845 00:34:51,689 --> 00:34:53,241 Jesus. 846 00:35:03,310 --> 00:35:05,137 Freddy, that better not be you. 847 00:35:05,172 --> 00:35:07,793 If you're opening those gifts, I swear to god. 848 00:35:11,482 --> 00:35:14,344 Hey, you know what happens if I come down there. 849 00:35:23,068 --> 00:35:24,482 Oh! 850 00:35:24,517 --> 00:35:26,310 Oh, my god. 851 00:35:26,344 --> 00:35:28,448 Sorry, sorry. 852 00:35:29,275 --> 00:35:31,586 Fuck it. 853 00:35:33,103 --> 00:35:37,275 Freddy? Freddy, is that you, buddy? 854 00:35:37,310 --> 00:35:39,758 Said we weren't gonna open or touch any of these gifts 855 00:35:39,793 --> 00:35:41,551 till Santa got... 856 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:49,206 Get the fuck out of my house. I'm calling the cops right now. 857 00:35:49,241 --> 00:35:51,137 Oh, shit! 858 00:36:00,620 --> 00:36:02,482 Wait. 859 00:36:17,206 --> 00:36:19,206 Oh, king shit. 860 00:38:26,344 --> 00:38:28,310 Frankie, what was... 861 00:38:39,586 --> 00:38:40,793 Frankie! 862 00:38:45,655 --> 00:38:48,241 Oh, what the fuck? 863 00:38:50,137 --> 00:38:51,275 That was... 864 00:38:53,517 --> 00:38:55,241 Unexpected. 865 00:38:55,275 --> 00:38:57,620 Too bad find out about that earlier. 866 00:38:57,655 --> 00:39:00,000 Yeah, it's too bad. 867 00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:16,482 This thing is usda approved organic prime man meat. 868 00:39:16,517 --> 00:39:18,586 Sorry, are you asking me to peg you? 869 00:39:18,620 --> 00:39:21,758 I'm not asking. I'm inviting. 870 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:24,241 Please, sir, may I have a hit? 871 00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:33,310 No! Pl... aah! 872 00:39:34,517 --> 00:39:37,172 I'm gonna get some more whiskey, flip the record. 873 00:39:37,206 --> 00:39:39,620 Come back up. Don't fucking move. 874 00:39:47,586 --> 00:39:50,310 Mom? 875 00:39:52,862 --> 00:39:54,620 Mommy? 876 00:39:54,655 --> 00:39:56,620 You okay? 877 00:40:03,655 --> 00:40:05,758 Santa? 878 00:40:05,793 --> 00:40:07,586 Where's mommy? 879 00:40:12,068 --> 00:40:15,103 Did you bring me any good presents? 880 00:40:15,137 --> 00:40:16,758 You did! 881 00:40:56,275 --> 00:40:58,551 Oh. Fuck, fuck! 882 00:40:58,586 --> 00:41:00,724 Fuck me. 883 00:41:00,758 --> 00:41:02,517 Damn it. 884 00:41:04,172 --> 00:41:05,793 Jesus. 885 00:41:08,689 --> 00:41:10,482 That's fucked. 886 00:41:26,103 --> 00:41:29,551 Not stupid clothes again. 887 00:41:35,379 --> 00:41:37,413 Why are you so bloody? 888 00:41:38,551 --> 00:41:40,482 Mommy? 889 00:41:43,827 --> 00:41:46,034 Mom! 890 00:41:53,379 --> 00:41:55,413 - Oh, fuck! - What? 891 00:41:55,448 --> 00:41:56,793 - This guy... - Tori! 892 00:41:56,827 --> 00:41:59,103 I think he maybe just killed the kid next door. 893 00:41:59,137 --> 00:42:00,689 What the hell are you talking about? 894 00:42:00,724 --> 00:42:03,344 Oh, fuck. 895 00:42:08,758 --> 00:42:11,103 Oh, fuck! 896 00:42:11,137 --> 00:42:13,310 Call the fucking cops now. Come on. 897 00:42:13,344 --> 00:42:16,241 Fuck. Have you seen my phone? Fuck! Get my phone! 898 00:42:16,275 --> 00:42:18,793 - It's upstairs. - Shit. Is your phone down here? 899 00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:21,482 Robbie, go! Find a phone! 900 00:42:33,172 --> 00:42:35,586 Robbie? He's gone. 901 00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:36,793 What? 902 00:42:36,827 --> 00:42:38,482 Robbie, he's fucking gone. 903 00:42:38,517 --> 00:42:40,482 He saw us. The fucker's gonna come over here. 904 00:42:40,517 --> 00:42:41,769 Find a phone and get the fuck out. 905 00:42:41,793 --> 00:42:43,551 I have to get my sister. 906 00:42:43,586 --> 00:42:46,310 Liddy, Mike, wake the fuck up. Get your asses out of bed. 907 00:42:46,344 --> 00:42:48,068 There's no time to explain. Come on, we... 908 00:42:48,103 --> 00:42:49,562 - Come on. We have to go. - What is going on? 909 00:42:49,586 --> 00:42:51,206 Uh, uh, where's your phone? 910 00:42:51,241 --> 00:42:53,310 It's up there. There weren't any outlets. 911 00:42:53,344 --> 00:42:55,068 Okay. Get out of bed. Put your shoes on. 912 00:42:55,103 --> 00:42:56,586 Put your shoes on now. Come on. 913 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:58,482 Mike, get the fuck up. I'm trying to help you. 914 00:42:58,517 --> 00:43:00,148 - Alright, alright. - Does it look like I'm joking? 915 00:43:00,172 --> 00:43:02,137 You fucking idiot! Get out of bed! 916 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:05,734 All right, come on, move it. You should go. 917 00:43:05,758 --> 00:43:08,034 No, you go. Mike, get the fuck out. 918 00:43:08,068 --> 00:43:09,103 - Alright. - Go! 919 00:43:09,137 --> 00:43:11,344 Fuck you, go. 920 00:43:11,379 --> 00:43:12,734 I have no idea what the fuck my phone is. 921 00:43:12,758 --> 00:43:14,551 Shut up. Shut the fuck up. 922 00:43:19,827 --> 00:43:22,103 Where are you keys? 923 00:43:22,137 --> 00:43:23,586 I don't know. 924 00:43:23,620 --> 00:43:25,424 I must have left them in the truck or something. 925 00:43:25,448 --> 00:43:27,182 Well, if they're not in the fucking truck, where are they? 926 00:43:27,206 --> 00:43:28,724 I don't fucking know, do I? 927 00:43:28,758 --> 00:43:30,769 Liddy, do you have your keys? Your fucking keys, liddy? 928 00:43:30,793 --> 00:43:32,827 - Where are they? - Get the keys. 929 00:43:32,862 --> 00:43:34,596 The keys? What do you want with the fuckin'... 930 00:43:34,620 --> 00:43:36,206 Shut the fuck up, you cunt. 931 00:43:36,241 --> 00:43:38,068 Okay. Do you want me to get the keys or not? 932 00:43:38,103 --> 00:43:39,217 - Yes. - Fine. I'll get the keys. 933 00:43:39,241 --> 00:43:40,793 Jesus. 934 00:43:45,379 --> 00:43:47,586 Did anybody see where he went? 935 00:43:50,862 --> 00:43:52,724 Okay. 936 00:43:52,758 --> 00:43:55,241 Okay, okay, okay. 937 00:43:55,275 --> 00:43:57,068 We're going to go to the basement. 938 00:43:57,103 --> 00:43:58,838 - What if it's in the basement? - Then we don't have 939 00:43:58,862 --> 00:44:02,103 anywhere to go, do we? 940 00:44:02,137 --> 00:44:03,517 Okay, hang on. 941 00:44:07,172 --> 00:44:08,251 All right, I got the keys. 942 00:44:08,275 --> 00:44:09,655 - Shh! - Look, I didn't even 943 00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:11,137 want to come here in the first... 944 00:44:11,172 --> 00:44:12,793 Shut the fuck up, Mike. Shut the fuck up. 945 00:45:26,448 --> 00:45:28,344 Get up! 946 00:45:29,827 --> 00:45:31,827 Run! 947 00:45:31,862 --> 00:45:34,482 Get out! 948 00:45:40,448 --> 00:45:43,758 Go! Fucking! Go! 949 00:45:46,310 --> 00:45:47,758 Liddy! 950 00:45:47,793 --> 00:45:51,551 Get... fuck! Shit! 951 00:45:52,551 --> 00:45:53,724 No! 952 00:45:53,758 --> 00:45:56,413 No! Please! 953 00:45:56,448 --> 00:45:59,000 No! Please! No! 954 00:46:06,724 --> 00:46:08,586 Hey, hey, you got to get in, you got to get in, 955 00:46:08,620 --> 00:46:09,734 you got to get in, you got to get in, 956 00:46:09,758 --> 00:46:11,379 hey, she's not coming? Okay. 957 00:46:11,413 --> 00:46:13,148 - I need my sister... - Listen to me. Listen to me. 958 00:46:13,172 --> 00:46:15,044 Listen to me, listen. Okay, she's not coming, okay? 959 00:46:15,068 --> 00:46:16,803 You've got to get in the car. Okay? For me. Please. 960 00:46:16,827 --> 00:46:18,724 Please, please, please, please, please. 961 00:46:18,758 --> 00:46:20,517 Yeah, okay, come on. Yeah. 962 00:46:20,551 --> 00:46:23,241 Get up, come on. Just get in there. 963 00:46:23,275 --> 00:46:24,758 Yeah, okay, get in there. 964 00:46:24,793 --> 00:46:26,665 I need liddy here right now. 965 00:46:26,689 --> 00:46:27,793 - I need liddy here. - Hey. 966 00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:31,344 - Come on, Robbie! - Come on! 967 00:46:31,379 --> 00:46:34,379 Fuck you! Fuck! 968 00:46:36,724 --> 00:46:39,620 Go, Robbie, come on. 969 00:46:45,241 --> 00:46:47,517 Robbie! Robbie! 970 00:46:50,379 --> 00:46:54,310 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 971 00:46:54,344 --> 00:46:55,586 Are you all right? 972 00:46:55,620 --> 00:46:57,379 - Yeah. - Okay. Well, we got to... 973 00:46:57,413 --> 00:46:59,527 We got to go. We got to go because he's gonna come back. 974 00:46:59,551 --> 00:47:01,310 Come on! 975 00:47:01,344 --> 00:47:04,206 - Fuck! It's stuck. - Try going forward. 976 00:47:04,241 --> 00:47:05,655 What the fuck?! 977 00:47:05,689 --> 00:47:08,103 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 978 00:47:08,137 --> 00:47:09,793 Totaled by fuckin' ranchero! 979 00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:11,275 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 980 00:47:12,344 --> 00:47:13,448 - Come on. - Fuck! 981 00:47:13,482 --> 00:47:15,103 You fucking cocksuckers! 982 00:47:15,137 --> 00:47:17,034 - Hey. - B, hey, hey. 983 00:47:17,068 --> 00:47:18,620 Get the fuck out of the car. 984 00:47:18,655 --> 00:47:20,734 I can't get out of the fucking car. Listen to me. 985 00:47:20,758 --> 00:47:23,413 What is with this door? Hey, you two bit fuckin' scumbag, 986 00:47:23,448 --> 00:47:26,034 get the fuck out of the car. Come on. 987 00:47:26,068 --> 00:47:27,586 - Oh, what the fuck? - Fuck! 988 00:47:27,620 --> 00:47:29,137 Get out of the fucking car! 989 00:47:29,172 --> 00:47:30,769 Oh, look, the paint's all fucked up, man! 990 00:47:30,793 --> 00:47:33,068 I just got this detailed! 991 00:47:33,103 --> 00:47:36,137 I'm calling the fuckin' cops on your ass, Tori. 992 00:47:36,172 --> 00:47:37,482 - Hello? - Go now. 993 00:47:37,517 --> 00:47:39,172 - 246... - Fuck. He's coming. 994 00:47:39,206 --> 00:47:40,389 He's right there! Hey! 995 00:47:40,413 --> 00:47:42,206 He can't fucking hear you because... 996 00:47:42,241 --> 00:47:44,551 - Hey, behind you! - Hey, behind you! 997 00:47:44,586 --> 00:47:47,275 - Behind you! - No, no, no, no! 998 00:47:47,310 --> 00:47:48,620 No! 999 00:47:48,655 --> 00:47:50,793 Stop fucking honking! 1000 00:47:50,827 --> 00:47:52,379 Oh! 1001 00:47:54,310 --> 00:47:55,724 Okay, go. 1002 00:47:55,758 --> 00:47:58,206 Go, come on, let's go! 1003 00:47:58,241 --> 00:48:01,448 I'm trying! 1004 00:48:02,586 --> 00:48:04,241 Oh, oh! 1005 00:48:07,724 --> 00:48:10,000 Okay, okay! Fucking drive! 1006 00:48:27,137 --> 00:48:29,103 No! No! No! 1007 00:48:29,793 --> 00:48:31,620 No! 1008 00:48:31,655 --> 00:48:34,827 Fucker! Robbie! No, fuck off! 1009 00:48:34,862 --> 00:48:36,586 Robbie! 1010 00:48:36,620 --> 00:48:40,103 No! No! Robbie! No! 1011 00:48:40,137 --> 00:48:42,758 Oh, fuck! 1012 00:48:42,793 --> 00:48:45,413 No, Robbie. You got to get up. 1013 00:48:45,448 --> 00:48:48,137 You got to get up right now. Get up right now, come on! 1014 00:48:48,172 --> 00:48:51,034 Get your ass... get your ass up, come on! 1015 00:48:51,068 --> 00:48:53,275 Get the fuck up, Robbie! 1016 00:48:53,310 --> 00:48:55,655 Somebody help us! 1017 00:48:55,689 --> 00:48:57,620 Where the fuck is everyone? 1018 00:48:57,655 --> 00:49:00,241 No! Robbie, Robbie, he's coming back. 1019 00:49:00,275 --> 00:49:01,803 Come on, get up, get up. 1020 00:49:01,827 --> 00:49:03,758 Get it here, Robbie! 1021 00:49:03,793 --> 00:49:05,827 No! Behind you! 1022 00:49:05,862 --> 00:49:07,793 Behind you! 1023 00:49:07,827 --> 00:49:09,586 No! 1024 00:49:09,620 --> 00:49:12,551 Robbie! 1025 00:49:17,206 --> 00:49:19,344 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 1026 00:49:19,379 --> 00:49:21,206 Hide! 1027 00:49:21,241 --> 00:49:22,620 Drop the weapon! 1028 00:49:22,655 --> 00:49:24,482 Now! 1029 00:49:24,517 --> 00:49:25,689 Hey! 1030 00:49:25,724 --> 00:49:27,206 Don't come any closer! 1031 00:49:27,241 --> 00:49:28,413 Kill this motherfucker! 1032 00:49:28,448 --> 00:49:31,689 Drop the weapon now! 1033 00:49:40,724 --> 00:49:42,448 This is officer Danny Davis. 1034 00:49:42,482 --> 00:49:44,724 I got at least three people down at 246 Chestnut. 1035 00:49:44,758 --> 00:49:48,413 Send back up and an ambulance immediately. 1036 00:49:53,310 --> 00:49:55,206 It's gonna be okay. 1037 00:49:55,241 --> 00:49:56,517 Don't touch me. Don't touch me! 1038 00:49:56,551 --> 00:50:00,413 It's okay. Help is on the way. 1039 00:50:00,448 --> 00:50:02,172 Help is on the way, okay? 1040 00:50:02,206 --> 00:50:05,137 - Are you sure he's dead? - Yes. He's dead. 1041 00:50:05,172 --> 00:50:07,310 He's dead. 1042 00:50:07,344 --> 00:50:09,275 He's not getting up. 1043 00:50:11,068 --> 00:50:12,689 I got you. 1044 00:50:15,517 --> 00:50:17,206 Oh, Robbie. 1045 00:50:17,241 --> 00:50:19,310 - I got you. - Oh, Robbie. Robbie! 1046 00:50:19,344 --> 00:50:21,389 It's okay, it's okay. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. 1047 00:50:21,413 --> 00:50:25,482 Okay, stay calm. Help is on the way, alright? 1048 00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:32,482 It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fi... watch your head. 1049 00:50:47,551 --> 00:50:49,241 Can you tell me what happened? 1050 00:50:49,275 --> 00:50:51,344 - You need to check the store. - What? 1051 00:50:51,379 --> 00:50:53,241 The toy store. You need to check the toy store. 1052 00:50:53,275 --> 00:50:55,068 Why? 1053 00:50:55,103 --> 00:50:58,172 Because that thing looks exactly like the Santa from the store. 1054 00:50:58,206 --> 00:51:00,310 You mean the t.W. Bonkers thing? 1055 00:51:00,344 --> 00:51:02,172 Yeah. 1056 00:51:02,206 --> 00:51:04,758 That fucking guy looks exactly like the thing from the store. 1057 00:51:04,793 --> 00:51:06,586 I can assure it's not on the same Santa. 1058 00:51:06,620 --> 00:51:08,724 No, no, that's... I'm saying that maybe he took 1059 00:51:08,758 --> 00:51:10,517 the fucking suit or something. 1060 00:51:10,551 --> 00:51:13,586 And my friends, my friends were staying the night there, 1061 00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:15,758 and... and maybe that fucker killed them and then took 1062 00:51:15,793 --> 00:51:17,251 the fucking suit. That's what I'm saying. 1063 00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:19,103 He didn't get that thing anywhere. 1064 00:51:19,137 --> 00:51:20,551 You need to fucking check! Okay? 1065 00:51:20,586 --> 00:51:22,251 - There's only a few of us, okay? - I don't fucking care. 1066 00:51:22,275 --> 00:51:24,517 Listen to me. No one's been fucking listening to me. 1067 00:51:24,551 --> 00:51:25,793 There's only a few of us! 1068 00:51:25,827 --> 00:51:27,793 You need to do a fucking drive by! 1069 00:51:27,827 --> 00:51:29,665 - More people are gonna die! - Once everything... 1070 00:51:29,689 --> 00:51:31,665 Once everything is all right, I can go back and do a check. 1071 00:51:31,689 --> 00:51:33,517 More people are gonna fucking die! 1072 00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:36,103 Calm down. 1073 00:51:37,137 --> 00:51:39,482 Shoot him! Fucking shoot him! 1074 00:51:48,620 --> 00:51:53,448 Blow his fucking head off, Davies, now! 1075 00:51:55,379 --> 00:51:56,586 He's done for! 1076 00:51:56,620 --> 00:51:58,551 Ah! 1077 00:51:58,586 --> 00:52:00,793 Davies? 1078 00:52:04,793 --> 00:52:08,517 Davies? Davies, get the fuck up! 1079 00:52:08,551 --> 00:52:12,448 Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot! Come on! 1080 00:52:12,482 --> 00:52:14,344 Get up! 1081 00:52:14,379 --> 00:52:16,241 Behind you! 1082 00:52:16,275 --> 00:52:19,206 No, no, no, no, no! 1083 00:52:50,482 --> 00:52:52,068 Ho, ho, ho! 1084 00:52:52,103 --> 00:52:54,172 Merry Christmas. 1085 00:53:01,827 --> 00:53:03,620 Okay, okay. 1086 00:53:03,655 --> 00:53:05,068 Okay, okay, okay. 1087 00:53:08,068 --> 00:53:10,620 Hello? Officer Davis was killed, okay? 1088 00:53:10,655 --> 00:53:12,413 He's fucking dead. Is anyone there? 1089 00:53:13,689 --> 00:53:15,068 Listen to me. 1090 00:53:15,103 --> 00:53:17,689 The officers going to 246 Chestnut 1091 00:53:17,724 --> 00:53:19,724 need to be fucking careful because the killer is 1092 00:53:19,758 --> 00:53:22,379 still there, and he looks like fucking Santa, okay? 1093 00:53:22,413 --> 00:53:23,586 He's in a Santa costume. 1094 00:53:23,620 --> 00:53:25,793 Fuck! 1095 00:53:25,827 --> 00:53:28,517 Oh, fuck. 1096 00:53:28,551 --> 00:53:31,724 Yes, go! 1097 00:53:33,448 --> 00:53:36,551 Hey! Hey! 1098 00:53:36,586 --> 00:53:39,241 Hey! 1099 00:53:39,275 --> 00:53:41,517 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1100 00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:43,217 - Get on the ground! - No, I've been calling you! 1101 00:53:43,241 --> 00:53:45,517 Don't fuckin' move! On the ground! 1102 00:53:45,551 --> 00:53:47,586 - Get on the ground! - Get your hands on your head! 1103 00:53:47,620 --> 00:53:49,113 - I need your help! - Hands on your head. 1104 00:53:49,137 --> 00:53:50,596 - I need your... - Get your fucking hands 1105 00:53:50,620 --> 00:53:52,217 - on your head! - Fine, I'm fucking sorry! 1106 00:53:52,241 --> 00:53:53,700 Officer: Get your hands on your fucking head! 1107 00:53:53,724 --> 00:53:55,286 - No, no, no, I need your help. - Where's Davies? 1108 00:53:55,310 --> 00:53:57,413 I need your help. I need your fucking help, man. 1109 00:53:57,448 --> 00:54:00,172 Where is Davies? Get your hands behind your back. 1110 00:54:00,206 --> 00:54:01,827 He's dead, he's dead, he's dead. 1111 00:54:01,862 --> 00:54:03,734 - What did you just say? - He's dead. He's fuckin' dead. 1112 00:54:03,758 --> 00:54:05,182 They're all fucking dead. 1113 00:54:05,206 --> 00:54:06,424 - Bullshit! Where is he! - He's dead! 1114 00:54:06,448 --> 00:54:08,586 I've been trying to fucking tell you! 1115 00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:10,482 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything? 1116 00:54:10,517 --> 00:54:12,077 - I didn't do anything - what did you do? 1117 00:54:12,103 --> 00:54:15,172 I need your fuckin' help! I need your fuckin' help! 1118 00:54:15,206 --> 00:54:18,137 - Get up, sweetheart. Get up! - I need... ah! 1119 00:54:18,172 --> 00:54:20,448 He's still there! 1120 00:54:20,482 --> 00:54:22,172 You need help, you need help. 1121 00:54:22,206 --> 00:54:24,482 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I call the shots! 1122 00:54:24,517 --> 00:54:26,551 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Weston, you get down 1123 00:54:26,586 --> 00:54:29,034 to Chestnut. I'm taking her... I'm taking you in. 1124 00:54:29,068 --> 00:54:30,424 You can't alone. You're gonna fuckin' die. 1125 00:54:30,448 --> 00:54:32,068 - Listen. - You need to call in some... 1126 00:54:32,103 --> 00:54:33,793 - Hey! - You got to fuckin listen to me. 1127 00:54:33,827 --> 00:54:35,793 You're gonna fucking die. He killed everybody. 1128 00:54:35,827 --> 00:54:40,517 - You need back up! - Get in the fuckin' car! 1129 00:54:40,551 --> 00:54:43,344 - You need back up! - Fuck! Shut the fuck up. 1130 00:54:43,379 --> 00:54:44,838 What do you want to do with Davies' car? 1131 00:54:44,862 --> 00:54:47,068 Nothing. Don't touch it. 1132 00:54:47,103 --> 00:54:48,586 Fucking crime scene. 1133 00:54:48,620 --> 00:54:50,517 I'll call and have it towed into the station. 1134 00:54:50,551 --> 00:54:52,689 Alright. Be safe. 1135 00:54:52,724 --> 00:54:55,172 I need your fucking help. 1136 00:54:55,206 --> 00:54:59,551 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you fucking job. 1137 00:54:59,586 --> 00:55:03,551 Shut the fuck up! 1138 00:55:04,827 --> 00:55:09,068 You can't send him there alone. 1139 00:55:09,103 --> 00:55:11,827 I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do. 1140 00:55:11,862 --> 00:55:13,458 You know, you're in a world of hurt, lady. 1141 00:55:13,482 --> 00:55:15,206 - No fucking... - You're in a world 1142 00:55:15,241 --> 00:55:16,724 - of fucking shit. - No fucking idea! 1143 00:55:16,758 --> 00:55:18,493 We caught you covered in blood and a missing cop... 1144 00:55:18,517 --> 00:55:21,551 Unit 17, Smith, you there? 1145 00:55:21,586 --> 00:55:24,206 Yeah. This is unit 17. This is Smith. Go ahead. 1146 00:55:24,241 --> 00:55:27,689 This is Lenny. We just got here. 1147 00:55:27,724 --> 00:55:30,551 It's a massacre, and we haven't even been inside yet. 1148 00:55:30,586 --> 00:55:32,596 Alright, copy that. Look, don't make a move, alright? 1149 00:55:32,620 --> 00:55:36,206 Just hang back. Weston's on his way down there. 1150 00:55:36,241 --> 00:55:37,758 Any word from renn county? 1151 00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:41,310 Just us right now, sir. 1152 00:55:41,344 --> 00:55:45,310 Any sign of Davies? 1153 00:55:45,344 --> 00:55:47,379 He's dead, sir. 1154 00:55:47,413 --> 00:55:52,172 Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker! 1155 00:55:54,551 --> 00:55:57,275 I just saw you at Reggie's three goddamn hours ago. 1156 00:55:57,310 --> 00:55:58,551 I don't understand. 1157 00:55:58,586 --> 00:56:00,482 What is there to fucking understand? 1158 00:56:00,517 --> 00:56:03,068 What I don't understand is the lax fucking attitude 1159 00:56:03,103 --> 00:56:04,482 when people are fucking dead. 1160 00:56:04,517 --> 00:56:06,344 Look, Tori, we know you didn't murder anyone, 1161 00:56:06,379 --> 00:56:09,413 but we're having a hard time believing what you're saying. 1162 00:56:09,448 --> 00:56:11,827 I'm having a hard time fucking believing it. Okay? 1163 00:56:11,862 --> 00:56:14,758 But I saw it. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. 1164 00:56:14,793 --> 00:56:16,724 And my fucking eyes don't lie. Okay, Monroe? 1165 00:56:16,758 --> 00:56:18,793 Listen, I can smell the weed and whiskey on you 1166 00:56:18,827 --> 00:56:20,655 - from a mile away. - Yeah. So fucking what? 1167 00:56:20,689 --> 00:56:23,137 I smoked some weed. I had some fucking whiskey. 1168 00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,458 But that does not make you hallucinate. 1169 00:56:24,482 --> 00:56:26,137 I promise you. I promise you. 1170 00:56:26,172 --> 00:56:28,413 After what I saw, I'm sober. I'm sober as a fucking... 1171 00:56:28,448 --> 00:56:30,665 Oh, that's good you're sober. Well, I hate to break it to you, 1172 00:56:30,689 --> 00:56:32,344 Ms. Tooms, but it is still illegal. 1173 00:56:32,379 --> 00:56:35,172 Can you shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up! 1174 00:56:35,206 --> 00:56:37,482 My sister is dead! 1175 00:56:37,517 --> 00:56:39,137 Okay? My fucking friends are dead. 1176 00:56:39,172 --> 00:56:40,493 Not that you give a fuck about him. 1177 00:56:40,517 --> 00:56:41,769 But what are you going to do about it? 1178 00:56:41,793 --> 00:56:43,310 - What do you... - Hey! Hey! 1179 00:56:43,344 --> 00:56:45,310 The best goddamn officer in this precinct is dead. 1180 00:56:45,344 --> 00:56:46,769 Now, if you want to be the one to tell his widow. 1181 00:56:46,793 --> 00:56:48,631 Oh, fuck. Debbie. Someone's got to tell Debbie. 1182 00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,482 Hey, hey, hey, Bobby. 1183 00:56:50,517 --> 00:56:52,044 We're all getting a little emotional here. 1184 00:56:52,068 --> 00:56:54,689 Just cut it. Both of yous. You, sit down. 1185 00:56:56,517 --> 00:56:59,551 Get this fucking off your fucking desk. 1186 00:57:04,482 --> 00:57:06,655 Have you heard from the boys down at the scene yet? 1187 00:57:06,689 --> 00:57:08,275 Not since renn county showed up. 1188 00:57:08,310 --> 00:57:10,586 They're still down there counting bodies. 1189 00:57:10,620 --> 00:57:13,482 Nothing about a killer Santa claus either. 1190 00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:15,275 Well, why don't you give him a call? 1191 00:57:15,310 --> 00:57:18,517 It's been a little while now. See if they need any help. 1192 00:57:18,551 --> 00:57:20,068 I think they got it under control. 1193 00:57:20,103 --> 00:57:21,724 Double check. 1194 00:57:28,137 --> 00:57:30,344 Fuck! 1195 00:57:30,379 --> 00:57:33,551 You need to keep that asshole away from me, Monroe. 1196 00:57:33,586 --> 00:57:36,275 He's worked with Davies for over 15 years now. 1197 00:57:36,310 --> 00:57:38,551 We're tight staff. Look around. 1198 00:57:38,586 --> 00:57:41,068 It's been a rough night for all of us. 1199 00:57:41,103 --> 00:57:42,551 Bear with us. 1200 00:57:42,586 --> 00:57:44,724 We'll do the same. 1201 00:57:44,758 --> 00:57:46,793 Just breathe. 1202 00:57:54,310 --> 00:57:58,206 Okay, I'm going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 1203 00:57:58,241 --> 00:57:59,620 There's a bathroom down the hall 1204 00:57:59,655 --> 00:58:02,000 if you want to clean yourself up some. 1205 00:59:03,586 --> 00:59:05,517 Smith: There is no fucking back up, man. 1206 00:59:05,551 --> 00:59:08,034 Just hold on a second. Just hold on a second. 1207 00:59:08,068 --> 00:59:09,655 We got to think this out. 1208 00:59:09,689 --> 00:59:11,068 Oh, shit. 1209 00:59:11,103 --> 00:59:12,310 Have tried the guys from renn? 1210 00:59:12,344 --> 00:59:16,517 Yep, renn, paramedics, Weston. 1211 00:59:16,551 --> 00:59:17,655 Nothing. 1212 00:59:17,689 --> 00:59:19,413 Chp? Anything? 1213 00:59:19,448 --> 00:59:21,034 - Nope. - Hey. Hey. Hey. 1214 00:59:21,068 --> 00:59:22,631 - What's going on? - You coming with me or not? 1215 00:59:22,655 --> 00:59:25,137 Something happen? You guys can't go back to my house. 1216 00:59:25,172 --> 00:59:26,793 - I told you. - We're police, Tori. 1217 00:59:26,827 --> 00:59:28,586 - That's what we do. - Well, no. 1218 00:59:28,620 --> 00:59:30,320 You need to call the fucking national guard or something. 1219 00:59:30,344 --> 00:59:32,586 He wiped everybody out. He's going to wipe you out! 1220 00:59:32,620 --> 00:59:34,562 Hey, you know, Monroe, maybe you should stay here. 1221 00:59:34,586 --> 00:59:36,206 You can, baby sit the little girl. 1222 00:59:36,241 --> 00:59:37,527 Okay, you know what? If you don't want to fucking 1223 00:59:37,551 --> 00:59:39,137 listen to me, you go out there and die. 1224 00:59:39,172 --> 00:59:40,596 Because, quite frankly, I don't fucking care. 1225 00:59:40,620 --> 00:59:43,275 Tori, we're going to go, we're gonna lock the door. 1226 00:59:43,310 --> 00:59:45,517 - No, no. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1227 00:59:45,551 --> 00:59:47,379 What is that? 1228 00:59:47,413 --> 00:59:49,344 Yeah. What the fuck is that? 1229 00:59:52,724 --> 00:59:54,344 That an ambulance? 1230 00:59:54,379 --> 00:59:57,206 Oh, fuck. It's him. 1231 00:59:57,241 --> 00:59:58,724 Oh, Santa claus? 1232 00:59:58,758 --> 01:00:00,355 - Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus. - Fuckin' Santa claus! 1233 01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:03,068 It's the motherfucker that killed everybody. 1234 01:00:03,103 --> 01:00:04,655 Okay, okay, uh... 1235 01:00:04,689 --> 01:00:06,448 - Oh, fuck. - He's not stopping. 1236 01:00:06,482 --> 01:00:08,310 Fuck! 1237 01:00:19,827 --> 01:00:23,034 Fuck! Ah! 1238 01:00:23,068 --> 01:00:25,103 Is everyone all right? 1239 01:00:25,137 --> 01:00:27,034 Yeah, I think I'm fine. 1240 01:00:27,068 --> 01:00:30,793 - Tori? - Uh, yeah. 1241 01:00:34,068 --> 01:00:38,137 Jesus Christ. What the fuck was that? 1242 01:00:38,172 --> 01:00:41,827 Hey, Tori, take these, go to the holding room, 1243 01:00:41,862 --> 01:00:43,344 lock yourself in. 1244 01:00:43,379 --> 01:00:45,379 No, no, no! There's fucking people dead. 1245 01:00:45,413 --> 01:00:47,665 You need to give me a gun. You need to give me a fucking gun. 1246 01:00:47,689 --> 01:00:49,493 - Where the driver? - You're 38. Give her your 38. 1247 01:00:49,517 --> 01:00:51,172 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1248 01:00:51,206 --> 01:00:53,246 - Give me your fucking gun. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1249 01:00:53,275 --> 01:00:54,803 Hey, do you even know how to use that thing? 1250 01:00:54,827 --> 01:00:56,631 Yeah. You aim is and pull the fucking trigger. 1251 01:00:56,655 --> 01:00:58,172 Yeah? 1252 01:00:58,206 --> 01:00:59,793 Let's go. 1253 01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,586 Cover me. 1254 01:01:24,137 --> 01:01:25,344 Okay. I'm clear. 1255 01:01:25,379 --> 01:01:27,068 Tori, get in there! 1256 01:01:27,103 --> 01:01:29,379 Stay away from the fucking car! He's in there! 1257 01:01:29,413 --> 01:01:31,413 Do you see anything? 1258 01:01:36,482 --> 01:01:39,517 Something's not right. Something's not right! 1259 01:01:39,551 --> 01:01:41,793 Yeah, he's not fucking human. That's what's not right. 1260 01:01:41,827 --> 01:01:43,413 Do you see anything? 1261 01:01:45,310 --> 01:01:48,310 Monroe! Monroe! 1262 01:01:50,379 --> 01:01:52,137 Oh, fuck! 1263 01:01:53,103 --> 01:01:55,206 Where are you, motherfucker?! 1264 01:01:55,241 --> 01:01:57,068 Show yourself! 1265 01:01:57,103 --> 01:01:59,379 Get out of here now! 1266 01:01:59,413 --> 01:02:03,620 Come on, motherfucker! Let me see your face. 1267 01:02:03,655 --> 01:02:05,068 Hey! 1268 01:02:08,172 --> 01:02:09,689 Come on, fuck you! 1269 01:02:11,655 --> 01:02:13,793 Oh, no, wait! 1270 01:02:13,827 --> 01:02:15,344 No! No! 1271 01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:16,344 Aah! 1272 01:02:16,379 --> 01:02:19,482 Oh, fuck! 1273 01:02:44,379 --> 01:02:46,758 Oh, god. Okay. 1274 01:03:10,448 --> 01:03:13,310 Hello? Oh, fuck! 1275 01:03:13,344 --> 01:03:14,689 Fuck. 1276 01:03:31,310 --> 01:03:35,000 Okay, okay, okay. 1277 01:03:35,586 --> 01:03:36,620 Uh... 1278 01:03:37,586 --> 01:03:39,034 Hello? 1279 01:03:39,413 --> 01:03:40,689 Hello? 1280 01:03:40,724 --> 01:03:42,758 Fuck! 1281 01:04:01,206 --> 01:04:03,551 Hello? Hello, is anyone there? 1282 01:04:03,586 --> 01:04:05,079 Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin' police station. 1283 01:04:05,103 --> 01:04:06,655 I need your help. 1284 01:04:06,689 --> 01:04:08,620 Hello? Someone fuckin' answer me, please. 1285 01:04:08,655 --> 01:04:10,413 Fuck! 1286 01:07:12,068 --> 01:07:14,206 Fuck you! 1287 01:07:15,862 --> 01:07:19,379 No! No! No! 1288 01:07:19,413 --> 01:07:23,103 No! No! 1289 01:07:23,137 --> 01:07:26,241 No, no! No! 1290 01:07:48,137 --> 01:07:50,551 Fucking cocksucker! 1291 01:08:13,517 --> 01:08:15,793 Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? 1292 01:08:15,827 --> 01:08:18,551 Everybody's fucking dead! Please, someone, please! 1293 01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:24,724 Fuck! Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 1294 01:08:24,758 --> 01:08:27,344 Yes, come on! Come on! 1295 01:08:31,172 --> 01:08:33,068 Yes! Yes! 1296 01:08:33,103 --> 01:08:34,586 Ah! 1297 01:08:58,344 --> 01:09:00,655 Oh, fuck! 1298 01:09:00,689 --> 01:09:02,103 Fuck! 1299 01:09:03,172 --> 01:09:04,793 Fuck you! No! 1300 01:09:20,275 --> 01:09:21,586 Fuck you! 1301 01:09:25,517 --> 01:09:27,758 No! No! 1302 01:09:27,793 --> 01:09:29,551 No! 1303 01:09:31,137 --> 01:09:33,172 What the fuck?! Fuck! 1304 01:09:35,344 --> 01:09:37,137 Fuck you! 1305 01:12:34,103 --> 01:12:35,379 Fuck! 1306 01:12:50,413 --> 01:12:51,655 Fuck! 1307 01:12:52,620 --> 01:12:54,793 Fuck! 1308 01:15:07,689 --> 01:15:09,758 What the fuck?! 1309 01:17:59,758 --> 01:18:01,448 Okay. 1310 01:18:12,103 --> 01:18:14,655 No, no, no, no! 1311 01:18:14,689 --> 01:18:16,241 No! 1312 01:18:48,448 --> 01:18:50,758 Oh, fuck. 1313 01:18:54,206 --> 01:18:55,793 Fuck! 1314 01:18:55,827 --> 01:18:59,068 Come on. Come on. 1315 01:19:01,827 --> 01:19:04,241 Come on! No, no, no! 1316 01:19:04,275 --> 01:19:06,206 Come on! 1317 01:19:06,241 --> 01:19:08,172 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, come on! 1318 01:19:08,206 --> 01:19:13,241 Come on! Fuck you! 1319 01:19:16,758 --> 01:19:19,172 Oh, fuck! 1320 01:20:04,103 --> 01:20:05,620 Oh, fuck! 1321 01:21:09,137 --> 01:21:11,517 No! 1322 01:21:14,827 --> 01:21:17,482 Fuck! No! 1323 01:21:46,206 --> 01:21:48,551 No! No! 1324 01:21:49,413 --> 01:21:52,517 No! No! No! 1325 01:21:52,551 --> 01:21:54,586 Fuck! Fuck! 1326 01:21:57,379 --> 01:21:59,275 Ah! Fuck! 97900