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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,829
Previously on "Reginald
the Vampire"...
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,527
We can't just let
anyone join our ranks.
3
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:08,269
And that vampire you
made is an abomination.
4
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,768
Your assessment is
back on the books.
5
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,074
3 and 1/2 days until
our certain doom.
6
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,403
I'm a vampire.
7
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:15,015
How stupid do you
think that I am?
8
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,930
I'm being reassigned
to the Yukon?
9
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,237
It's everything you need to
know about your assessment.
10
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,978
Holy motherload.
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,705
Is that what I think
it is? Angel's blood.
12
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,547
If tonight is your
last night on Earth,
13
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,046
then you should probably
say goodbye to your friends.
14
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,332
What's in the bag? It's him.
15
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:29,986
It's Logan the Re-animator.
16
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,727
I thought you'd be fatter.
17
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:33,661
Reggie's special. He just
hasn't realized it yet.
18
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,426
I had no idea how amazing I was.
19
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,427
That's his superpower.
20
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,038
You're gonna die.
21
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,493
Reg, you've gotta
make me a vampire.
22
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,302
I think you're onto
something, Todd.
23
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,912
I could be your secret weapon.
24
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,599
I got a date with the
final puzzle piece.
25
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,662
- You're late.
- Sorry.
26
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:56,578
Um... here.
27
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,587
Look, I know
there's a difference
28
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,806
between forgiving
and forgetting.
29
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,289
Maybe I can't do one
without the other.
30
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:15,249
But I know why you
did what you did.
31
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:17,164
I know your history.
32
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:20,428
I think I can do that now...
33
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,431
Forgive, forget.
34
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,608
Thank you.
35
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,655
Hey.
36
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,311
You gonna be there tomorrow?
37
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,618
- No.
- Why not?
38
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,012
I don't want to watch you die.
39
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,158
I knew it was you
without even looking.
40
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,595
Sire bond.
41
00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,729
Wherever you are, I
know where you are.
42
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,818
And whatever you feel,
I can feel it, too.
43
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:05,037
Shouldn't that have
worn off by now?
44
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,779
Well, some bonds, they
last longer than others.
45
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,825
Okay.
46
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,392
Tell me what I feel.
47
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,181
They're here.
48
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,936
As duly appointed representative
49
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,068
of the Council of the Americas,
50
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,246
I, LeBron James, bring
with me a warrant
51
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,943
requiring your presence...
52
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:43,337
Wait, wait, wait. Your
name is LeBron James?
53
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:46,296
At a meeting of the
Council of the Americas
54
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,820
to determine your
suitability for inclusion
55
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,300
in the vampire population...
56
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,867
Because if I were
you, I'd probably go
57
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,347
by a nickname or something,
58
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:57,394
like Buddy or Sneaky
Pete, Cheekbones.
59
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,788
As measured by the
officially sanctioned
60
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:03,835
Council assessment, henceforth
referred to as The Assessment.
61
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,708
Or, you know, probably just
never use your last name.
62
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,536
Like, you know there's
63
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,703
a pretty famous basketball
player named LeBron James?
64
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,670
I mean, he was born
right here in Akron.
65
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:16,021
Said assessment to be
held on this morning
66
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:19,808
at a time and place ordered
by our glorious leader,
67
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,853
Logan the Impenetrable.
68
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,942
I knew a guy named Ted Cruz.
69
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,336
It made his life a living hell.
70
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:29,209
How droll.
71
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,908
Joke now. Die later.
72
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:36,041
Sorry. Performance anxiety.
73
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,130
Your spawn is very chatty.
74
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,220
But you have nothing
to say, Maurice?
75
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,222
I don't blame you.
76
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:45,660
If only you'd cooperated when
we came for you the first time
77
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,270
instead of making
your little scene
78
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:50,055
and siring this abomination.
79
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:53,624
But that is a very
different world
80
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:54,930
than the one we live in now.
81
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,845
Yeah.
82
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,803
Yeah, I'd rather
live in his world
83
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,023
than live without him in mine.
84
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,243
Sweet.
85
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,508
Come with us, Maurice. Blob.
86
00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,823
Want me to tell
you how you feel?
87
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,653
You're afraid you're not enough.
88
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,569
That's how you feel.
89
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:29,443
Not smart enough to
get us out of this mess
90
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,141
and not brave enough to face
the consequences if you do.
91
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:35,362
"Not enough" is a
feature, not a bug.
92
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:40,192
Then why do I believe
in you like I do?
93
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,195
Low standards disorder?
94
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,634
Do you think I can
really pull this off?
95
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,114
I think this is some
of the craziest shit
96
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,899
I've ever seen.
97
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,075
And I've been living the
vampire life for 50 years.
98
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,990
But do you think I can?
99
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,297
Yeah, Reggie.
100
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,255
I do.
101
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,865
Thank you.
102
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,609
My belief in you doesn't
require gratitude.
103
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,090
Not for that.
104
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,311
For saving my life.
105
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,532
Kinda turned you to an
undead creature of the night.
106
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,229
Point taken.
107
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,971
There's definitely
negatives to the lifestyle.
108
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,931
But... I don't know.
109
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:26,543
My life before
all of this was...
110
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,893
just a car with spinning wheels.
111
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,506
Maybe this was the life
I was supposed to lead.
112
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,725
Is that weird?
113
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,380
I don't know.
114
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,208
Weird it is pretty
much your brand.
115
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,481
So Vampire Guard, am I right?
116
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,353
Yeah. Um...
117
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,243
Do you have to go to some
kind of Vampire Guard school
118
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,835
or an academy?
119
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:00,185
You ever hear of
the Yeoman Warders?
120
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,450
Yeah, right.
121
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:05,756
They guard the Tower
of London and, uh,
122
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,865
according to one theory,
they're called the Beefeaters
123
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,891
because they were allowed
to eat as much meat
124
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,172
as they wanted to when
they dined with the king.
125
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,024
Oh, right.
126
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,636
Okay, picking up the
pace. I totally get it.
127
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,464
I mean, I'm in no rush,
for obvious reasons.
128
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,728
But hey, wouldn't want to
be late for my own... oof.
129
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,078
Party.
130
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:29,606
It is my great and lasting honor
131
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:34,655
to announce the presence
of Logan the Unquenchable.
132
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,273
Whoa.
133
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,901
My good vampires,
regional directors,
134
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,034
the very best of our kind,
135
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,558
we are gathered here today
136
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,605
to evaluate and
assess the fitness
137
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:15,609
of the newborn vampire
you see before you.
138
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:19,787
The vampire known
as Reginald Andres.
139
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,925
Mere decades ago...
140
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:36,281
A blink of an eye in
the lives we lead,
141
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,545
even less for those
of us fortunate enough
142
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:41,809
to measure our
biography in centuries,
143
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,288
it was determined
144
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,987
that a kind of
culling was required,
145
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:49,599
a way to shape and
perfect our race.
146
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:52,776
And so the first
Assessment was held.
147
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,778
And subsequent to that,
148
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,042
every newborn vampire
participated in it
149
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,828
in order to
guarantee our future,
150
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:06,311
and to do so according to the
laws that bind and protect us.
151
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:08,531
On a personal note,
152
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:11,708
like many of you, I was made
153
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:15,625
long before The Assessment
came into being.
154
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,322
But I have seen the benefit,
155
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:23,198
seen how our species has
improved and evolved.
156
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:26,070
Once, we were a race
united by our thirst,
157
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,898
but only our thirst.
158
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:31,728
Now, in this modern age,
159
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:37,342
we are approaching a
kind of species divinity.
160
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,083
Hey, yo, Deacon?
161
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,530
Could we get this
show on the road?
162
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,652
I got dinner plans.
163
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:46,917
Fair warning.
164
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,572
The Assessment is of
great meaning for us.
165
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:54,359
It's as close to a holy
ritual as we maintain.
166
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:58,320
Scorn it, ridicule
it at your own peril,
167
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:02,367
if only because the amount
of pain and consequence
168
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,675
you suffer after you fail
169
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:08,373
is in direct proportion
170
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,115
to how much you piss me off
171
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,857
along the way!
172
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:16,773
Look, I'm not here to be
a party poop or anything,
173
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,123
but come on, man. We're
gonna be here all week
174
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,212
if you don't cut it
with the yakety-yak.
175
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,562
Oh.
176
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:29,699
Very well. It is my distinct
pleasure to announce
177
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:33,703
that the vampiric abilities
and potential assessment,
178
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,140
henceforth known
as The Assessment,
179
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,578
shall begin!
180
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,366
Let there be bells.
181
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,413
This dude puts the
D in douchebag.
182
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,209
Hey.
183
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,429
Hey.
184
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:06,127
Ready?
185
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:11,523
Visualize, actualize, achieve.
186
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,570
Defying Gravity.
187
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:18,052
Visualize, actualize, achieve.
188
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,290
Um, you have to defy gravity.
189
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,794
- I'm on it.
- Mm-hmm.
190
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:23,187
Okay.
191
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:26,321
Three, two, one.
192
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:32,153
5 inches.
193
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,503
Aw, wait, wait.
Come on, come on.
194
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,331
I can do this. Let
me do it again.
195
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,246
If you wish. A do-over.
196
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:42,729
Okay.
197
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,209
Really?
198
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,735
4 inches.
199
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:51,085
It's really pretty amazing
when you think about it.
200
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,913
Fail.
201
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,003
The Dubious Arm-Bender.
202
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,395
Fail.
203
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,136
Identifying the Cheese.
204
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,311
Fail.
205
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,885
Catch the Orb.
206
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,323
You must catch the orb
before it hits the ground.
207
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,847
I figured that
out all by myself,
208
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,389
thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
209
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,981
On my mark.
210
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:21,506
Three, two, one.
211
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,209
Wrong shoes.
212
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,734
Fail.
213
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,001
The Lonely Goatherd.
214
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,437
Fail.
215
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:40,961
Hell is Other People.
216
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,179
Fail!
217
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,138
They All Fall Down.
218
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,531
Ooh, ah. Little known fact...
219
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,185
There's a right
way and a wrong way
220
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,883
to knock down the bottles,
221
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,770
though the solution may
seem counterintuitive.
222
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:55,062
But that's the point, right?
That's why no one ever wins.
223
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,283
We assume the best
place to throw the ball
224
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,850
is right at the middle.
225
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,026
But as the bottom
bottles are weighted,
226
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,767
that'll never knock them down.
227
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,335
So we need to rely on
accuracy more than power.
228
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,468
What you have to do is aim
between the two middle bottles
229
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,340
on the bottom row.
230
00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,045
I once won ten
oversized teddy bears
231
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,091
in one single night.
232
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:26,746
Pass.
233
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,880
Yeah. Yeah.
234
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:34,188
Yeah. Yeah.
235
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,842
Yeah.
236
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:41,021
A Fiendish Jumble. Pass.
237
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,371
Name That Room. Pass.
238
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:47,114
The Finger Trap of Sorrow.
239
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,550
Seriously?
240
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,421
Does anyone ever fail this?
241
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:53,947
I don't know why he says that
it's virtually impossible.
242
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,601
Pass.
243
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,604
The Golden Ratio.
244
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:04,566
I'm sorry, but the hairline
to the upper eyelid
245
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:08,135
should be 1.618 times the
length of the upper eyebrow
246
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,571
to the lower eyelid, but I mean,
247
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:10,964
I just don't even know.
248
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,096
Really? This is
just insulting.
249
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,142
Fail!
250
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,406
After a very long day
251
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:21,801
filled with failure
and some success,
252
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:25,456
two tests remain.
253
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:28,503
Death's Sharp Sting.
254
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,461
If he fails this test,
255
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:33,160
he'll be mathematically
eliminated...
256
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:36,250
And of course,
tortured and killed,
257
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:38,643
along with you.
258
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,036
I almost forgot.
259
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:46,086
You must carry the nest from
one podium to the other.
260
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:49,306
If you are stung, you fail.
261
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,095
Little known fact.
262
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:58,054
Bees... even hornets...
263
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,927
Are not evil, like
some monsters I know.
264
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,712
They defend their home when
they perceive a threat.
265
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,716
If you swat at them or do
some violent gesture to them,
266
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,544
they will read that as trouble,
267
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:12,808
and that encourages
them to sting.
268
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:17,465
Now, most insects get their
cues from smells in the air...
269
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,162
Your own breath.
270
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,338
That informs them
that you're near.
271
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:25,734
But if you were to hold your
breath for 10, 30, 50 seconds,
272
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,650
they will no longer detect you.
273
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,175
They will leave you in peace...
274
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:33,873
like so.
275
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,369
Pass.
276
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,204
Silence.
277
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:47,163
There is only one
test remaining.
278
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:50,471
It will decide whether
you live or you die.
279
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:54,257
And I am thinking that
you will die in the most
280
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:57,347
horrible...
- Bring it on, old man.
281
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:58,740
I'm ready to do this.
282
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:12,710
The Claw of Impossibility.
283
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,522
Hey.
284
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,002
I'm really sorry.
285
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:47,136
- I appreciate the support.
- Yeah.
286
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:51,227
The Claw of Impossibility.
287
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,795
Do you just like
hearing yourself talk?
288
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,753
You have 60 seconds.
289
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,541
Okay.
290
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,369
Uh, all right.
291
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,726
Just calmly... okay.
Yeah, right there.
292
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,252
Okay, cool. That was a...
293
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,906
That was just a
mistake, I feel like.
294
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,387
Keep going, okay.
295
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:21,562
Focus.
296
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,651
45 seconds.
297
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,222
Holy [mutters].
298
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,702
Okay, I got this
one. I got this one.
299
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:39,232
Ah. Hello, Mr. Horse.
300
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,408
I'm gonna get you a new home.
301
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,105
Sarah lives there.
302
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,368
She'll take great care of you...
303
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,327
lucky horse.
304
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,719
Okay.
305
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:52,375
25 seconds.
306
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,554
Ohh.
307
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:58,816
Okay.
308
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,167
You have 10 seconds.
309
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,821
Focus. Calm hands.
310
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,736
Oh, my God. I
got it. I got it!
311
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,264
This is it. Okay.
312
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,222
Okay, okay.
313
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,445
Spectators: Oh!
314
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,620
Fail!
315
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:20,925
God damn it.
316
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,668
Sorry you couldn't
get to meet Sarah.
317
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,496
She's the best
girl in the world.
318
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,891
This brings to an
end The Assessment.
319
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:33,677
The subject, Reginald
Andres, does not pass.
320
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,070
He is not worthy.
321
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,767
He is not one of us.
322
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:39,292
He is defective
323
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:42,947
and an insult to the purity
that binds us together.
324
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:46,647
Prepare the Chamber of the Sun.
325
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:57,266
Welcome to the penalty
phase of The Assessment.
326
00:18:57,353 --> 00:19:01,531
We will begin with a
little light torture...
327
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:04,665
As much or as
little as I command.
328
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,929
After this appetizing
spectacle concludes,
329
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:11,062
we will let the sunshine in
330
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:15,502
and be rid of this
pestilent aberration.
331
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,808
Oh, for...'s sake, bring it on.
332
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:20,463
Do not be impatient, blob.
333
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:24,902
The end of your eternal
life will come soon enough.
334
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:27,514
But it is not enough
for you to die.
335
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:31,082
Your entire bloodline,
your progeny,
336
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,823
must die with you.
337
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,176
Bring in the progeny.
338
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,876
I don't have any progeny.
He's not a vampire!
339
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,054
No. No!
340
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,276
You thought you could fool us?
341
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,018
Todd never hurt anybody.
342
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,064
It's my fault. I did this.
343
00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:59,546
Todd Sleater, aged 28
human years when turned.
344
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,070
Vampire, age of one day.
345
00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:04,638
Hereby sentenced to
death as tainted blood
346
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,379
in conjunction
with the sentencing
347
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:07,858
of Reginald Andres.
348
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,686
I would like to formally thank
349
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:13,386
the recently demoted director
of the Midwest region
350
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:16,040
for making this special
moment possible.
351
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:19,218
Your service is
greatly appreciated.
352
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,871
You... ing bitch.
353
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:23,657
I'm reminded, as his sire,
354
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,702
that you will shortly
join the roundish one
355
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,878
in death.
356
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,272
Interrupt the ceremony
a second time,
357
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,841
and you will die before him.
358
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,540
I'm sorry, Reg. I-I
tried to save you.
359
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,107
I tried to follow the plan.
360
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:42,023
She stopped me.
361
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:51,641
The death of your spawn
362
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,557
is not the only
penalty to be paid.
363
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:59,649
As is customary and necessary
to the survival of our kind,
364
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:02,826
any human that knows
your secret must die
365
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,829
on the day that you die.
366
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:08,571
It has come to my
attention... And again,
367
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:10,965
big shout-out to
the former director
368
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,662
of the Midwest region...
369
00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:15,578
That there are two such humans,
370
00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:19,887
and their names are
Sarah and Claire.
371
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:20,975
No.
372
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:23,412
Please, don't do this.
373
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:26,372
I deserve to die, but not them.
374
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,548
Please, I'll do anything.
375
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:31,290
You will only do one thing.
376
00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:33,422
You will die.
377
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,816
And they will die with you.
378
00:21:35,903 --> 00:21:36,904
You!
379
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,387
I haven't been a
vampire for very long,
380
00:21:41,474 --> 00:21:43,563
just a collection of
days... That's it.
381
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:45,956
But that's all I needed
to know about you.
382
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:49,569
You're empty.
383
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:52,180
You're vain. You're cruel.
384
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:55,662
The last creatures on
Earth deserving eternity.
385
00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,447
Life is a finger trap,
and you're too stupid
386
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:00,057
to see the beauty in it.
387
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:02,059
That's why you're really dead.
388
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,844
Dead and sentenced
389
00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:06,063
to an endless parade
of wasted years.
390
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,501
But forever's a long time.
391
00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:11,895
Eventually, time will
catch up with you,
392
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:15,334
because you are the past,
393
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,858
and I am the future.
394
00:22:22,036 --> 00:22:24,473
Torture him now!
395
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,607
Let the torture begin!
396
00:23:23,358 --> 00:23:25,404
Time to die, little girl.
397
00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:36,632
Holy shitballs.
398
00:23:36,719 --> 00:23:39,330
Just one cut...
399
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:42,682
A cut that heals, but painful.
400
00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,815
Then a second cut.
401
00:23:45,902 --> 00:23:49,166
Then a third, each cut healing.
402
00:23:49,253 --> 00:23:52,474
And as many cuts as I determine
403
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:55,695
before your torture is ended.
404
00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:59,133
You will die many deaths
before your true death,
405
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:02,179
a death that you
will welcome, if only
406
00:24:02,266 --> 00:24:04,399
to end all this pain.
407
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:11,493
But your final passing
will see your progeny burn
408
00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,452
as we let the sun shine in.
409
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,979
Cut him.
410
00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:38,651
Enough!
411
00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:40,740
Is that all? Cut me!
412
00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,352
Deeper. No mercy.
413
00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:49,879
Let the sun shine in.
414
00:24:55,798 --> 00:24:57,147
What is that?
415
00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,801
Oh, right.
416
00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,456
Sorry, I forgot
that was in there.
417
00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:19,953
Surprise, vampires!
418
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,259
I'm still a human.
419
00:25:22,346 --> 00:25:24,392
Burn, vampires, burn!
420
00:25:26,307 --> 00:25:27,961
Off with his head.
421
00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,968
Thank you.
422
00:25:35,838 --> 00:25:37,884
You're on your own now.
Good luck, vampire.
423
00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:45,935
You're gonna want to take
cover for this next part.
424
00:25:48,111 --> 00:25:49,286
Aah!
425
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:50,853
Angel's blood!
426
00:25:58,861 --> 00:26:00,820
Aah!
427
00:26:09,393 --> 00:26:11,657
Uh-oh, I'm out. Shit.
428
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:20,361
I am Logan, pure and powerful.
429
00:26:20,448 --> 00:26:22,493
Did you honestly think
430
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,974
that you could kill me...
431
00:26:33,635 --> 00:26:36,029
As is mandated by our custom,
432
00:26:36,116 --> 00:26:37,683
I claim deaconship
433
00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:39,902
of the Council of the
Americas henceforth.
434
00:26:39,989 --> 00:26:43,558
And as deacon, my
first official act
435
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:47,040
is to pardon the
prisoner Reginald Andres.
436
00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:48,476
Yeah, you do.
437
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,535
She killed the assassins.
438
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,189
They didn't even make it inside.
439
00:27:15,329 --> 00:27:17,548
Welcome to the Slushy
Shack. How may I help you?
440
00:27:20,987 --> 00:27:22,466
You're still you.
441
00:27:22,553 --> 00:27:24,904
- Is that a problem?
- I don't think so.
442
00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,302
You did it.
443
00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,087
Not me.
444
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,438
He did.
445
00:27:37,525 --> 00:27:38,981
I got a thing with the
final puzzle piece.
446
00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:41,224
Where? Wait, what
is it? Reggie!
447
00:27:45,272 --> 00:27:46,577
Hey, Angie.
448
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,667
Can I come in?
449
00:27:48,754 --> 00:27:51,234
I think it's time we
have a little talk.
450
00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:57,501
So how will they know
I'm not still human?
451
00:27:57,588 --> 00:28:01,070
Because for all they know,
you're a newly-turned vampire,
452
00:28:01,157 --> 00:28:04,334
and newly-turned vampires
still have human blood in them.
453
00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:07,686
So all you have to
do is deliver him.
454
00:28:07,773 --> 00:28:11,211
And all you have to do
is sob like you mean it.
455
00:28:11,298 --> 00:28:13,039
And you'll have to
make Logan angry...
456
00:28:13,126 --> 00:28:14,823
Like, really angry.
457
00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:18,653
Because the angrier he
gets, the worse the torture.
458
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,350
The deeper the cuts.
459
00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:21,700
I can do that.
460
00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:32,232
Do you think I'm gonna need
a little more Angel's blood?
461
00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:34,079
I'm a first time shooter,
long-time pacifist.
462
00:28:34,147 --> 00:28:35,801
No, that's enough.
463
00:28:35,888 --> 00:28:38,107
Okay, you've got one
target and one target only,
464
00:28:38,194 --> 00:28:40,457
and that's Logan the Cockroach.
465
00:28:51,555 --> 00:28:52,818
Reggie, this is gonna hurt.
466
00:28:52,905 --> 00:28:54,515
- Don't worry.
- You sure, man?
467
00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:01,087
I was made for this.
468
00:29:13,142 --> 00:29:15,318
Well, that was a hoot.
469
00:29:15,405 --> 00:29:16,842
Logan is dust.
470
00:29:16,929 --> 00:29:19,583
Reginald won the day.
471
00:29:19,670 --> 00:29:22,238
Maurice is the new deacon of
the Council of the Americas.
472
00:29:22,325 --> 00:29:25,285
And I am what I was before...
473
00:29:25,372 --> 00:29:29,637
Reinstated, the director
of the Midwest region,
474
00:29:29,724 --> 00:29:32,858
and not to mention,
your worst nightmare.
475
00:29:32,945 --> 00:29:34,424
I don't know what
I was thinking.
476
00:29:34,511 --> 00:29:36,775
It was a momentary
lapse of reason,
477
00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:38,777
some sort of witchcraft.
478
00:29:38,864 --> 00:29:41,388
- Let us live.
- Forgive us.
479
00:29:41,475 --> 00:29:43,433
- Please.
- Please.
480
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,001
Well, I suppose the
company is preferable
481
00:29:46,088 --> 00:29:47,960
to me wandering around
this big old house
482
00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:49,570
like a ghost.
483
00:29:49,657 --> 00:29:51,180
And you do have your uses,
484
00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:53,139
despite your
traitorous instincts.
485
00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:54,531
Thank you.
486
00:29:54,618 --> 00:29:56,969
We will do anything.
487
00:29:57,056 --> 00:29:59,928
Fair enough. If
that bitch survived,
488
00:30:00,015 --> 00:30:03,062
find Eve and bring her to me.
489
00:30:03,149 --> 00:30:06,500
And then I'll rip out her
heart and feed it to her.
490
00:30:11,984 --> 00:30:14,421
♪ The beautiful corner... ♪
491
00:30:14,508 --> 00:30:16,553
Big day.
492
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,294
The best.
493
00:30:18,381 --> 00:30:21,645
Were you 100% sure your
plan was gonna work?
494
00:30:21,732 --> 00:30:23,430
Nope.
495
00:30:23,517 --> 00:30:25,171
Okay, now you tell me.
496
00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:27,869
But I had a pretty good idea.
497
00:30:27,956 --> 00:30:29,740
It turns out believing
in your friends
498
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,047
is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
499
00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:35,485
- I'm your friend.
- Right?
500
00:30:35,572 --> 00:30:37,618
- Oh...
- How weird is that?
501
00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,665
I mean, a lot of crazy
shit has happened recently,
502
00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:43,015
but that's just... whoa.
503
00:30:43,102 --> 00:30:44,538
I'm glad we're friends, too.
504
00:30:46,322 --> 00:30:47,933
Thanks, man.
505
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:49,238
Yeah, buddy.
506
00:30:49,325 --> 00:30:52,459
♪ The candle-lit table ♪
507
00:30:52,546 --> 00:30:54,330
♪ As we cut loose... ♪
508
00:30:54,417 --> 00:30:56,115
- Turn me.
- I'm sorry, what?
509
00:30:56,202 --> 00:30:58,421
- Make me like you.
- Todd, we've been over this.
510
00:30:58,508 --> 00:31:00,423
Come on, man. I put my
life on the line for you.
511
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:02,164
True. But that's
all the more reason
512
00:31:02,251 --> 00:31:03,731
for me to protect it.
513
00:31:03,818 --> 00:31:05,230
Dude, I would make
an awesome vampire.
514
00:31:05,254 --> 00:31:06,777
You know it.
515
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:09,432
- Okay, probably also true.
- Right?
516
00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:11,957
But...[sighs] dude,
517
00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:13,924
th-that's something I
can't deal with right now.
518
00:31:13,959 --> 00:31:16,048
The responsibility of it.
- Turn me.
519
00:31:16,135 --> 00:31:18,180
Asking me over and over
520
00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:20,922
is not gonna increase your
chances of me changing my mind.
521
00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:25,361
Although it is
nice to be reminded
522
00:31:25,448 --> 00:31:27,886
of how I used to ask
my mom for a new bike.
523
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:33,152
♪ Make me feel so high... ♪
524
00:31:33,239 --> 00:31:35,894
Maybe I will go
see her sometime.
525
00:31:40,637 --> 00:31:43,118
So you're the top dog
now, deacon or something?
526
00:31:43,205 --> 00:31:44,598
Yeah.
527
00:31:44,685 --> 00:31:47,731
Kill the deacon, take
his or her chair.
528
00:31:47,818 --> 00:31:49,472
Kinda how it works.
529
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,431
Very impressive. Do
you get a special hat?
530
00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:53,955
Not that I know of.
531
00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:55,696
You should have a special hat.
532
00:31:55,783 --> 00:31:57,611
It'll make you stand
out in the crowd.
533
00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:03,443
Hey, you mind if I
ask you something?
534
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:05,445
No.
535
00:32:05,532 --> 00:32:07,403
Reginald stashed you
at the tanning salon,
536
00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:09,144
put you there for
your own safety
537
00:32:09,231 --> 00:32:11,755
because the UV rays
would protect you.
538
00:32:11,842 --> 00:32:14,410
Logan sent assassins after
you like he sent them here.
539
00:32:14,497 --> 00:32:16,151
Well, how close did
they get to you?
540
00:32:18,414 --> 00:32:20,503
Pretty close.
541
00:32:20,590 --> 00:32:23,071
Claire, talk to me.
542
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:27,249
They turned off the power.
543
00:32:27,336 --> 00:32:29,077
So no more tanning bed.
544
00:32:29,164 --> 00:32:31,558
- They found me.
- But how did you...
545
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:36,780
Okay, um...
546
00:32:36,867 --> 00:32:38,478
How long have you
been able to do that?
547
00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:41,046
It's sort of been
coming on for a while.
548
00:32:41,133 --> 00:32:42,438
Now it's here.
549
00:32:42,525 --> 00:32:45,093
Okay. Hey, you know what?
550
00:32:45,180 --> 00:32:48,662
Maybe, uh, you and I should
have a talk about that.
551
00:32:48,749 --> 00:32:50,577
Yeah?
- Okay.
552
00:32:50,664 --> 00:32:52,057
Okay.
553
00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:56,670
How old are you?
554
00:32:56,757 --> 00:32:58,411
Does it matter?
555
00:32:58,498 --> 00:33:01,805
Genuinely curious is all.
556
00:33:01,892 --> 00:33:03,851
I was born on the day
Mount Fuji erupted
557
00:33:03,938 --> 00:33:06,332
and blew fire and smoke
into the bluest of skies.
558
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,203
1707?
559
00:33:10,901 --> 00:33:12,294
- How old are you?
- I was born
560
00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:14,340
on the day they broke ground
561
00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:17,560
for the largest shopping
mall in America.
562
00:33:17,647 --> 00:33:20,476
It's in Minnesota,
where I was born.
563
00:33:20,563 --> 00:33:23,175
Can I ask you a series
of probing questions?
564
00:33:23,262 --> 00:33:25,655
Why aren't you afraid of me?
565
00:33:25,742 --> 00:33:28,093
Why would I be
afraid of a friend?
566
00:33:31,487 --> 00:33:33,098
Ask me anything.
567
00:33:33,185 --> 00:33:34,969
- Are werewolves real?
- No.
568
00:33:35,056 --> 00:33:36,318
- Can vampires fly?
- I wish.
569
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:37,972
So you don't turn into a bat?
570
00:33:38,059 --> 00:33:39,800
Why would anyone want
to turn into a bat?
571
00:33:39,887 --> 00:33:41,323
- Point taken.
- Hmm.
572
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,934
Holy water... Turns
out, can't hurt you.
573
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,936
I once drank the blood
of a priest in Florence.
574
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,200
- Garlic?
- Delicious if used correctly
575
00:33:48,287 --> 00:33:49,723
in many of my favorite meals.
576
00:33:49,810 --> 00:33:50,917
Are you sure
werewolves aren't real?
577
00:33:50,941 --> 00:33:52,291
Because I've got a feeling.
578
00:33:52,378 --> 00:33:54,206
- Can I ask a question?
- Sure.
579
00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:56,314
Do you want to go for a long
walk in the dark with me?
580
00:33:56,338 --> 00:33:58,558
Oh, yes I do.
581
00:34:10,439 --> 00:34:12,441
Go on, it's awesome.
582
00:34:12,528 --> 00:34:14,182
I've never had a slushy before.
583
00:34:14,269 --> 00:34:16,069
Oh. Well, there's a first
time for everything.
584
00:34:17,794 --> 00:34:19,144
Cheers.
585
00:34:26,629 --> 00:34:28,544
Eh? Like I said, right?
586
00:34:29,415 --> 00:34:32,331
It's... awful.
587
00:34:32,418 --> 00:34:35,464
Ugh.
- Oh. Um...
588
00:34:35,551 --> 00:34:37,423
Crap. Well, let me get
you another flavor.
589
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:40,034
No. No, no. I'm good, thanks.
590
00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:41,427
Okay.
591
00:34:45,213 --> 00:34:47,650
Mm.
592
00:34:50,305 --> 00:34:53,526
So... you're a vampire.
593
00:34:53,613 --> 00:34:55,963
You're not.
594
00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:57,660
Yeah.
595
00:34:57,747 --> 00:35:00,185
Well, I keep telling
people I should be.
596
00:35:01,664 --> 00:35:03,666
- "People"?
- Yeah, Reginald, Maurice.
597
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:05,451
They don't listen to me.
598
00:35:05,538 --> 00:35:08,845
I mean, again, to repeat:
I'm in great shape.
599
00:35:08,932 --> 00:35:11,065
I'm easy on the eyes.
600
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,415
I pretty much meet every
existing vampire standard.
601
00:35:13,502 --> 00:35:15,635
Reginald and Maurice
might have something
602
00:35:15,722 --> 00:35:17,115
to say about those standards.
603
00:35:17,202 --> 00:35:18,377
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, totally.
604
00:35:18,464 --> 00:35:19,856
Of course.
605
00:35:19,943 --> 00:35:22,032
And I support them
in their efforts.
606
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,731
But, uh, you get my drift.
607
00:35:24,818 --> 00:35:26,646
I get your drift.
608
00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:32,565
Please make me a
vampire like you.
609
00:35:32,652 --> 00:35:35,089
I promise I will
honor every day,
610
00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:38,527
every moment of my eternal life.
611
00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:42,009
Okay.
612
00:35:42,096 --> 00:35:44,359
- Sorry, what'd you say?
- I said, "Okay."
613
00:35:44,446 --> 00:35:46,840
I just asked if you'd
turn me into a vampire,
614
00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:48,885
and you are cool with it?
615
00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:50,583
Not tonight.
616
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:52,411
Not tomorrow.
617
00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:55,501
Let's take it slow,
see what happens.
618
00:36:04,858 --> 00:36:07,034
Uh...
619
00:36:07,121 --> 00:36:08,688
I'm... I'm really sorry.
620
00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:10,080
I don't know what
happened there.
621
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,257
Did you glamour me to do that?
622
00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:14,433
No, no. That
doesn't make sense.
623
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,305
Uh, just, uh, I think I got
caught up in the moment.
624
00:36:17,392 --> 00:36:19,873
There was like a connection,
a vibe, you know?
625
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,633
You were like, "Oh,
I'll make you vampire."
626
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:23,572
I'm like, "Oh, of course."
627
00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:25,487
I don't know what I
was thinking, man.
628
00:36:25,574 --> 00:36:27,315
No worries, Todd.
629
00:36:27,402 --> 00:36:29,056
You've got a lot to learn.
630
00:36:48,902 --> 00:36:50,425
Who are you?
631
00:36:50,512 --> 00:36:53,994
I'm Uriel, one of seven.
632
00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:56,039
And we are your makers.
633
00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:00,435
You're Angels.
634
00:37:00,522 --> 00:37:04,396
You are emissaries
of the golden divine.
635
00:37:04,483 --> 00:37:06,572
I kneel before you.
636
00:37:06,659 --> 00:37:09,879
I welcome you.
637
00:37:09,966 --> 00:37:11,881
You're here to save us.
638
00:37:11,968 --> 00:37:13,622
No.
639
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:16,321
We are here to eradicate
a grievous mistake we made
640
00:37:16,408 --> 00:37:18,845
and must now correct.
641
00:37:18,932 --> 00:37:20,325
Mistake?
642
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:32,337
It's a start.
643
00:37:40,170 --> 00:37:41,998
Look at them.
644
00:37:42,085 --> 00:37:44,566
I got a rule about
friends and family.
645
00:37:44,653 --> 00:37:46,307
Pssh... I don't know.
646
00:37:46,394 --> 00:37:48,744
It feels like you got both now.
647
00:37:48,831 --> 00:37:50,703
It feels like it.
648
00:37:50,790 --> 00:37:52,531
- We're gonna be busy.
- Yeah.
649
00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:55,403
What do you got in mind?
- Change.
650
00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:58,406
We can make a brand-new
world for vampires.
651
00:37:58,493 --> 00:38:00,278
- It won't be easy.
- It never is.
652
00:38:03,324 --> 00:38:05,021
Well, where do
you want to start?
653
00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:09,983
Um, vampires can no
longer limit themselves
654
00:38:10,070 --> 00:38:12,768
by shunning those who
are different than them,
655
00:38:12,855 --> 00:38:16,555
especially when it comes to
shapes and sizes and colors
656
00:38:16,642 --> 00:38:18,470
and points of view.
657
00:38:18,557 --> 00:38:20,428
We can do that, right?
658
00:38:20,515 --> 00:38:23,692
Reggie, I'm the deacon of the
Americas, man, not the planet.
659
00:38:23,779 --> 00:38:26,608
Then we'll lead the
rest of them by example.
660
00:38:26,695 --> 00:38:28,586
We have a chance to rebuild
the vampire community
661
00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:29,959
from the ground up...
662
00:38:30,046 --> 00:38:31,918
Or crypt up, I guess.
663
00:38:32,005 --> 00:38:33,789
Is that actually a thing?
664
00:38:33,876 --> 00:38:36,444
Reggie, that's a tall order.
665
00:38:36,531 --> 00:38:37,682
Look, the world we're
trying to build...
666
00:38:37,706 --> 00:38:38,968
It won't be built overnight.
667
00:38:39,055 --> 00:38:40,361
Well, we got time.
668
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,886
Good night, man.
669
00:38:43,973 --> 00:38:46,019
Where are you
going? It's a party.
670
00:38:46,106 --> 00:38:48,282
Yeah. No, I know.
671
00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:50,284
I just got a lot to think about.
672
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:51,807
I think better when I walk.
673
00:39:03,210 --> 00:39:05,299
Maurice?
674
00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:07,388
Question.
675
00:39:07,475 --> 00:39:09,259
Okay.
676
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:13,089
How many years, or
decades, or centuries
677
00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:16,136
does it take for one to forgive?
678
00:39:18,007 --> 00:39:20,053
I don't know.
679
00:39:20,140 --> 00:39:22,534
But it's come to mind lately.
680
00:39:22,621 --> 00:39:25,232
Me and forgiveness.
681
00:39:25,319 --> 00:39:28,366
So you're in charge now.
682
00:39:28,453 --> 00:39:31,151
Yeah, looks like it.
683
00:39:31,238 --> 00:39:33,240
You gonna break those mother...?
684
00:39:35,764 --> 00:39:38,245
What we have here
is already broken.
685
00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:39,725
I'm gonna fix it.
686
00:39:39,812 --> 00:39:41,335
Ah, justice.
687
00:39:43,642 --> 00:39:45,165
Turns out I missed it.
688
00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:48,995
What about you, Angela?
689
00:39:49,082 --> 00:39:51,389
No. I just love the game.
690
00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:53,956
You know I'm coming
for you, right?
691
00:39:54,043 --> 00:39:56,219
Sooner or later.
692
00:39:56,306 --> 00:39:57,917
Yeah.
693
00:39:58,004 --> 00:39:59,875
Yep.
694
00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:01,790
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
695
00:40:05,011 --> 00:40:08,754
I prayed for a different
life in this exact spot.
696
00:40:10,495 --> 00:40:11,974
I prayed here, too.
697
00:40:13,498 --> 00:40:14,629
Really?
698
00:40:16,979 --> 00:40:18,503
What did you pray for?
699
00:40:21,462 --> 00:40:24,639
I'll tell you about
it someday... promise.
700
00:40:26,902 --> 00:40:28,774
You know, in theory,
this should be
701
00:40:28,861 --> 00:40:30,993
the best day of my life.
702
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:32,995
You sound like it's not.
703
00:40:35,737 --> 00:40:40,263
The best day of my life
was the day we first met.
704
00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:42,875
Oh, Reginald.
705
00:40:42,962 --> 00:40:45,443
If there's anything I
can do to get us back
706
00:40:45,530 --> 00:40:48,271
to where we were, I'll do it.
707
00:40:48,358 --> 00:40:50,317
Like, if there's some
sequence of words
708
00:40:50,404 --> 00:40:55,453
that act like a magic
spell, I will do that, too.
709
00:40:55,540 --> 00:40:58,107
I mean, it'll take me a
while to write it up, but...
710
00:41:02,242 --> 00:41:04,462
Nothing matters if I lost you.
711
00:41:06,812 --> 00:41:09,118
Pretty much my baseline.
712
00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:11,469
But I'm human, and you're not.
713
00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:13,558
True. Ha.
714
00:41:13,645 --> 00:41:19,477
You touched my heart,
and then you broke it.
715
00:41:20,521 --> 00:41:22,523
True.
716
00:41:22,610 --> 00:41:27,397
I accept the first and
forgive the second.
717
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,704
That's great news.
718
00:41:29,791 --> 00:41:31,358
But...
719
00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:33,534
There's always a "but,"
in my experience.
720
00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:35,275
Go on.
721
00:41:38,887 --> 00:41:42,935
I don't know what
to do now or next.
722
00:41:45,241 --> 00:41:47,679
There's a lot that I
need to figure out.
723
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:51,509
And that's about you,
724
00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:55,164
but it's about other stuff, too.
725
00:41:57,645 --> 00:42:01,997
And for that, I'll
just need time.
726
00:42:02,084 --> 00:42:06,524
Say I have a chance,
and I'll wait forever.
727
00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:09,701
Because as you know, I...
728
00:42:09,788 --> 00:42:11,964
I'm entirely
capable of doing so.
729
00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:14,793
We have a chance.
730
00:42:38,425 --> 00:42:40,949
Welcome to the Slushy
Shack. How may I help you?
50383
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