All language subtitles for Orange.is.the.New.Black.S05E01.REPACK.720p.WEBRip.x264-STRiFE.HI

[cell door slams]

[theme song playing]

[cell door slams]

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

[inmates clamoring]

[inmate 1] Pull that trigger.

Shoot him in his head.

[Brandy] Come on! What the
fuck are you waiting for?

We are laying low and we're
staying out of trouble.

That's right. We see trouble, we
turn around and walk the other way.

- We are out of the business.
- Holy shit.

- Is this a real riot?
- [door opening]

This is a real riot.

If this is a real riot,

do you think this is a step
forward or backwards for equality?

I don't care. And we're
getting out of here now.

Come on.

Are you kidding me? Come on.

Fine.

I need it to be quiet.

Could everybody be quiet?

God damn it.

[inmates exclaiming]

Ah! Oh, shit. I got hit with
the casing. Am I bleeding?

You got a mark for sure.

Could everybody just shut
the fuck up so I can think?

Less think. More shoot!

You better shut your mouth before
she pops that balloon head of yours.

Yo, if she shoot this guy, we
gonna get guard brains all over us.

Ew. No, these are my good pants.

- That's what I'm saying.
- I had frogs when I was a kid.

We lived by a creek. We used
to scoop them up into buckets...

I don't wanna hear your
fuckin' story. Shut the fuck up.

[in Spanish] I brought some
to school once, and after that,

everyone called me Tommy the Toad-boy,

even though they were clearly frogs.

See, he doing that thing, trying to
make her see he a person and shit.

You know, I seen that shit on
Oprah back in the day.

I think it's time to get
the hell out of Dodge.

Uh-uh. I gotta see how this ends.

[in Spanish] My sister Dana
always got A's in biology.

I have two sisters.

- [Humphrey groaning]
- [inmates exclaiming]

- I don't fuckin' speak Spanish.
- [groans louder]

She told him [in Spanish]
to shut the fuck up.

- [breathing heavily]
- Okay, now we can go.

No, no, that... that was shots fired.

What?

It's Humps. [sighs]

How?

Uh, Dixon let him through with a piece.

I might have been there, too.

Dude, if he's pulling a
Columbine, that is so on you.

[stammers] He made some
very convincing arguments.

He's a freak, man.

Yeah. Right? [scoffs]

Jesus.

Fuck.

Jesus fuck! That was
definitely a gunshot.

Where are we gonna go?

I don't know. Maybe the dorms? Hide
under the covers until it's over.

'Cause prison blankets
are so bulletproof.

- [inmate 1] Fuck, yeah!
- [inmates continue clamoring]

[inmate 2] Fuck off!

[inmate 3 laughing] Whoa!

- [glass shatters]
- [inmate 4 cheers]

[grunts]

- [Josh] You went off book.
- [glass shatters]

Did you hear something?

The sound of you fucking up.

I did the right thing.

Oh, you're so sure about that, huh?

What, your vast PR experience
led you to that conclusion?

And you were ready to send
that kid to prison for...

Killing someone.

Shall we go over the facts again?

You should start
working on your résumé.

Yeah? You should...

go back to the tight suit
store. Mind your own business.

[scoffs] I rock this
suit, you schlepper.

[Stratman on radio] Anyone
got eyes on Humps?

- Humps, you there?
- You really did it.

- Yeah. I'm full of surprises.
- [Stratman] Dude, what's going on?

I need medical attention.

You need to shut your mouth.

- [groans]
- [inmates exclaiming]

I say finish him off.

- Dead men can't point fingers.
- [Brandy gasps]

[grunting]

[chuckles] Good. This feels good.

Right?

If you kill him, you probably
gonna have to kill her, too.

No, no, no. Please,
I don't know anything.

I didn't see anything.

Nah, man. They don't seem
to care about our lives,

so why we gotta give a
shit if they live or die?

I do. I do. I care so much.

[Maritza grunting]

Should I finish him off, or
you two gonna kick him to death?

[Maritza and Sankey grunting]

[Gloria] Daya!

She don't know what
the fuck she's doing.

I got blood on my cuff. Great.

[clicks tongue] Let's
go. We got business.

[Gloria] No! No! No!

No! Stop!

- [gasping]
- No!

Okay, it's not too late. Nobody's
dead. We can still pull this back.

Pull back? I shot a guard in the dick.

Almost. This shit got serious kickback.

Hell, Gloria, respect and all, but...

"too late" is way in the rearview, man.

We're taking this motherfucker.

[grunts]

Whoa! Whoa, Ramos, hold up.
He'll be way more valuable alive.

Who's in?

[inmates clamoring]

Yo, are those
noise-canceling headphones?

Is that Love's Baby Soft?

This does not end well.

Like it was going so good before? Huh?

Okay, we need a plan.

Yo, who's the one in charge here? You
with the mouth, or me with the gun?

Hey, you wanna be in
charge? It's fine by me.

All right, why don't you both
just calm down, all right? Just...

[Dixon on radio] Someone tell
me what the hell is going on.

[Humphrey panting]

- You. Answer it.
- What, seriously?

Yeah! Be her.

- What's her name again?
- [gasps]

You, tell her your name.

McCull... McCullough.

- Artesian McCullough.
- Artesian?

It's a town in South Dakota.

[clears throat]

McCullough here. Uh,
shots fired by Humps.

Guy's going nuts, full-on Sandy Hook.

Hide. Ahhh!

Shh. Shh.

[radio static]

Not bad, huh?

[alarm blaring loudly]

[inmates exclaiming]

Yo, seriously?

Are you not paying attention here?

Get your asses up off the floor
before this one shoots you.

Right? Right?

Yeah. Right.

Yo, go figure out how to shut
that off. I'm getting a head...

- [Flaca grunts]
- [all exclaiming]

Oh, shit. [breathing heavily]

Fuck. It's warm.

That's a lot of blood.

- [inmates clamoring]
- Oh, what a fucking mess.

- I think it's exciting.
- [scoffs] You would.

We should try to grab some
provisions while the grabbin' is good.

Might be nice for
later if we're holed up.

The jackboots will be
back soon, stomping.

I don't see this thing going long.

Mmm! Better to be prepared
for shit that don't happen

than to have shit happen
and not be prepared.

Seize your opportunities.

Grab for both of us, would you?

- Where are you going?
- To seize some opportunity.

That's a little vague.

No one's minding the store,
so I'm going exploring.

Deep dive.

I still don't know what the
hell you're talking about.

Oh, fuck it.

[Chang banging on door]
This is my turf, assholes.

Let me back in.

[Big Boo] Sorry, Chang.

Red dragon's out in this new economy.

Yeah, go, like, fly a big
kite that looks like a bird.

- What are those Chinese birds called?
- [chuckling] Phoenix?

Phoenix! Go fly a Phoenix kite
all the way to Arizona, Chang.

Not your strongest, but good effort.

[Chang] Can I at least get
Dr. Scholl's gel inserts,

calcium tabs, a radio,
four pencils and some honey?

Throw a dog a bone.

[Big Boo grunts] God's sake.

- [alarm continues blaring]
- [clamoring continues]

Yeah.

Here you go.

No funny stuff.

Fine.

Piece of shit.

You're welcome.

Hold up! Hold up.

[Pennsatucky] No, we're closed. Closed.

[speaking Spanish]

Yeah, well, I need padlocks,
all the locks you got,

and anything else that's
good for barricading.

Shit! It's really happening?

You think I'm starting
a lock collection?

- [sighs]
- Hey, you don't get any candy...

[stammers] It's just not gonna happen.

Because Boo taught me to
have a proper candy feast,

you gotta have salty and sweet,
or it's... it's vice versa. Right?

- Just true.
- It's true.

- Sweet and savory.
- Don't give her candy.

Classic.

Go with God.

Oh, and do you have any of
those, um, how do you call 'em?

Those... Islam head-cover thingies?

- A hijab?
- [Blanca] Hmm.

How the fuck do you
know the word "hijab"?

'Cause I learned it in church.

Hijab-wearing enemy of Christ.

Yeah, I like the way that sounds coming
out. It's bouncy. You know, hijab.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, I found 'em.

Hijabs right here.

[Big Boo chuckles]

Thank you. Thank you.

Take those. Whoa! Hey.

- [Blanca] What?
- [sniffing] You're still kind of ripe.

Hold up.

You know, if you're gonna,
like, go and take over,

you might wanna do it right.

[sighs] I guess.

Have fun storming the castle!

What... what castle?

[toilet flushes]

Ugh.

[inmates clamoring]

[shouting indistinctly]

[grunting]

Yeah! [whooping]

[Angie] You get the credit card, and
you swipe it through there, and then...

[Leanne] Drugs! Drugs!

Oh, shoot. Somebody
beat us to the punch.

No, look, they're not in the cage yet.

There's still opportunity here.

Uh, don't you wanna
try for something else?

We could go to electrical.
We could make a ham radio.

We could string up the holiday
lights, make it all atmospheric.

I'll let you tie me up
with an extension cord

if you ask real nice.

- No, you won't.
- You're right. I won't.

I'm still sorting
through some trust issues.

But listen...

I don't think you in
a room full of medicine

is such a swell idea for
your sobriety right now.

Are you hearing?

Yes. Yes, I hear you, and I
appreciate what you're saying, okay?

But this... this is a purely
practical, tactical move.

I mean, the weak-wristed, short-statured,
white-girl contingent that we represent,

we need a stronghold.

If I've learned anything from this
grand corporatocracy we call America,

Big Pharma rules, right?

So does Little Pharma, Medium
Pharma, and Pharma of all sizes.

Let them eat Prozac!

You are a very sneaky junkie person,
and you are playing with fire.

Well, come be the wet blanket
wrapped around my body.

I won't be your wet blanket.

Okay, so great. Huh? Moving forward.

No, wait. What? No.

Hey, fool! Fool follower!

- [pants] We got here first.
- Yeah! Buzz off!

You really think you're gonna be
able to chew through that steel

with your meth teeth?

Maybe. We believe in ourselves.

[grunting]

No, Ang, she's right. We need a key.

Like a skeleton key.

No. No way. Skeletons freak me out.

Well, maybe we could melt
it. You got a lighter?

No... Oh, but, once I saw this video

where all you'll need is
a lemon, and steel nails,

and copper pegs, and plain wire,
and coated wire, and steel wool,

and some kind of kindling to make
a fire. We could totally do that.

[panting] I don't know. Where
are we gonna find a lemon?

Come on. I got an idea.

When life gives you lemons...

[Zirconia] We need, like,
lots of CCs of medicine stat!

Is he still breathing?

You check. He puked on himself and
if I get too close, I get the pukes.

I'm like that.

Sophia! Sophia Burset.
Come on, wake the fuck up.

[stammers] We need help here.

What do we do for a
gunshot wound? Come on.

[Sophia] That's a lot of blood.

Looks like they hit a vein or something.
You need to stop the bleeding.

- No shit.
- Anyone got a tampon?

You can stick one in the
wound, then apply pressure.

Ain't nobody got tampons.

Those things are like wheat
pennies around here. Where you been?

She don't use tampons.
Don't be insensitive.

- I forgot.
- Can you get him out of there?

[Pidge] Come on.

[Humphrey groans]

Oh! I need a doctor.

Well, you got me. I
used to be a fireman.

I'm trained in emergency medicine.

No, I need a surgeon,
not a fucking fire-tranny.

Hey, I don't care if you bleed out.

I can get back to my magazine,

and you can die on the floor
and go straight to hell.

No, you got to. He can't die on us...

or that's a murder charge.

He can't die. Please. It's
not for him. It's for me.

Did you do this?

No, but...

Yo, his skin be going all gray
like he's cloudy and overcast.

[mouthing] Please.

For you. Not for him.

Find me some disinfectant
and something like gauze,

some tweezers.

And honestly, if you still
got drugs around here,

you might wanna give him a taste.

No way. That's more valuable than
wheat pennies and tampons put together.

Would bleach work as disinfectant?

No. No! No.

Thank you.

Let's see if he lives before
you go thanking me too much.

Looks like someone forgot to do laundry.

You wanna move it to
the side for me, cowboy?

It's in my way.

[indistinct chatter]

- What?
- I'm super mad at you.

Is this because I wouldn't let
you use my apricot facial scrub?

It was at the end of the tube,
I swear. You could check, even.

How could you go to a riot without
me? What happened to "Team Flaritza"?

I got called up for
van duty last minute.

And I thought we decided on Team Maraca.

No, we didn't.

We said that that sounded
like two rumba shakers,

not two unique individuals
sharing one nickname.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I came down a whole
other hallway from you.

You were supposed to be my riot buddy.

Did you see me push him?
And then kick him later?

Of course I did.

That was some excellent
pushing and kicking,

but I would've gotten in
some, you know, head shots.

I was getting to that.

Working the body first, and then
that was gonna be, like, my finale.

Boot right in his stupid, evil face.

Shit. I would've loved that.

[Maritza] Gloria came
and pooped my whole party.

And I'm sorry we couldn't
go together, but...

[Maria] Oh, I don't think so.

Girl, you wanna be the jefa
in charge, you can't be napping.

There's shit to do, shit
that might need a gun to do.

The Nazi chicks, they might need backup
while they're rounding up the guards.

I'm tired.

Don't matter if you're tired.

Whoa, I said I'm tired.

I'm gonna rest for a bit,

and then I'll go get
shit done, or whatever.

Sounds good to you?

Best plan ever.

I'm heading out.

You know, you could probably
leave your boxes packed.

Easier to clear out when
MCC calls and fires you.

Where the hell did you put my
radio and the goddamn phone cord?

I gotta shut this fucking alarm,
and I can't reach my people.

Where'd you put it?

I don't know. Didn't your
assistant pack everything up?

Right. Move outta the way.

Nothing. Label makers.

Empty goddamn Good & Plenty boxes.

Some organization you run.

Ran.

Oh, you got a problem with
how I do shit, pretty boy?

Taystee? What are you doing?

I'm telling the real story,
'cause you sure the hell didn't.

Where the fuck the cameras go?

They left to go home,

- which is what I'm gonna do.
- [sighs]

- So, excuse me.
- Oh, oh, wait. Excuse you?

I don't think so.

Hey, you ever been whacked in the
head full force with a chair leg?

Yeah, see, and this screw
right here looks pretty rusty.

I think you gonna need a
shot for tetanus if you live.

Oh, hell no.

[groans]

Stay the fuck down, Captain America,
or you ain't never makin' babies.

Jesus Christ! Are you insane?

No, she's angry. We're all angry.

You done our girl wrong, Mr.
Caputo, and you gonna fix it.

Taystee... this is a
very delicate situ...

[grunts]

You gonna make this right.

- [inmates clamoring]
- [alarm continues blaring]

[grunts]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out,
time out. I come in peace.

And you go the same way.

Will you put that thing
down, please? Just... Come on.

[stammers] Can't we both be here?

- No.
- Come on.

Clearly we both have
a similar plan, huh?

- Maybe we can help each other.
- [scoffs]

- What did he take from you?
- My dignity, my humanity and my sleep.

Oh.

Well, he took my carved soaps.

What? He took your what?

It's my art. And I spent
a lot of time on them.

And they're beautiful.

And... and that piece of shit
Paul Bunyan confiscated them,

and I want them back.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Oh, I like that. Did
you come up with that?

No, it's Polish.

Oh, I mean, I'm not a huge fan of Poles.

No, me neither, but they
have some good maxims.

Oh, Jesus, this is heavy. [groans]

Go. Look for your soaps.

Anything I can keep
an eye out for for you?

Or is the point simply to just
vent through wanton destruction?

I'm looking for revenge.

[grunts] When spider webs
unite, they can tie up a lion.

That's African. I learned it on safari.

Bingo!

What did you find?

[sighs]

Oh! [sniffs] Aren't they nice?

Wonderful.

What else is in there? What's that book?

[scoffs] Jesus. What a
dork. You should use this.

It's petty.

I don't know. It's hella embarrassing.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

- We totally could have ditched him.
- And then what?

Then we could be off somewhere.

I don't know, we could be
fooling around. Maybe...

I'm just saying. I
always miss all the fun.

I missed the lake. I missed the riot.

The mass shooter roaming the halls?

Poor you. Lie there and ride it out.

[whispering] We're all going to die.

Thanks for that.

Why isn't this thing working?

They cut all the phones and TVs so
we couldn't hear the news and get mad.

And that's working great, huh?

What if there's actually an
emergency? Like a fire or something?

Listen to me. There ain't no fire.

There's a guard out there
going full-on San Bernardino.

This is where you want to be.

Until he bursts in and
we're all sitting ducks.

I'll keep you safe.

I'm so reassured.

[Stratman on radio] Anyone out there?

Hey, man. You hear about Humps?

That he's gone all Virginia Tech?

It's not good, dude. Where are you?

Well, I'd rather not
say over the walkie,

but I've got half a dozen
inmates on the ground.

We're holding tight. We gotta
get in control of this, man.

[clamoring continues]

Oh, shit. We gotta step it up.

Hey, inmates, on the ground now!

Everyone on the ground, now!

You think they're running from Humps?

I don't know. I mean, an
awful lot of them are smiling.

- [Sankey shrieks]
- Ah! What the fuck?

Oh, absolutely not.

[both grunting]

[groaning]

[groans]

[grunting]

- Hey. No, no, no.
- [shrieks]

Come here! No!

- Oh, fuck.
- [Helen grunts]

You should've shaved
it off like we told you.

Bet you're regretting it now.

I'm not a fucking Nazi skinhead.
I'm a white nationalist.

And you're on the fucking
ground, too, baldy.

We got three.

- [chuckles]
- Whoo! [laughs]

We got three!

I'm locked inside the ghetto
bubble. Everyone's gone crazy.

Is Humps out there really doing
a Charleston, South Carolina?

Where the hell is Caputo?

And when is someone gonna
turn off that daggum alarm?

- [Gina] Come on.
- [banging on door]

Luschek, come...

[Luschek] Go away!

Ugh! And they call me disgusting.

[panting] Let me the fuck in!

It's Aurora, Colorado, out here,
and we're all in the movie theater.

Come on, man, let me in! Help me!

Oh, fuck.

Okay, we have to cut the alarm.
It's making everyone nuts.

Are you hurt? Where are you hurt?

Oh. No, I'm fine. It's
period blood. Heavy flow.

[groans in disgust] Get
the fuck out of here, then.

You have to cut the alarm, Luschek.

You don't think I would if I could?

I have sensitive cochlea.
I'm dying in here.

But the only way is with a key, and
only Caputo and Piscatella have keys.

No, that can't be the only way.

Can't we, you know, cut
some wires or something?

We? Piss off, Bloody
Mary. I'm not helping you.

I'm making earplugs
out of pencil erasers.

You know, Flores is outside with a shiv,
and I'm closer to the door than you are.

- Flores? You out there?
- [loud banging]

[in Spanish] Where's a fucking
hammer when you need one?

You hear that?

She said she's ready to gut you
like a shark that's eaten a toddler.

[Blanca continues speaking Spanish]

[grunts]

[door opens]

If you're... if you're coming
in here to have sex or whatever,

you can do it, but I'm gonna be here

reading Rilke out loud in German.

Is there anybody else here with you?

No.

Not anymore.

[stammering] I chased
them away with my sadness.

[chuckles] And I'll chase you away, too.

No, well, sad doesn't scare me.

I am staying put until
the cavalry comes.

Train has gone way off
the tracks out there.

Oh, yeah, like it's chugging
along in here. [crying]

I... I can't stop crying.

You will.

In this lifetime, you will be amazed
by what you can get over, darling.

Babies get thrown in
dumpsters and survive.

Uh, teenagers crash their cars,

and break their hearts
and OD on coke. They live.

Adults get worn down
and compromise and fail,

and they're still keeping track of
their steps on their cell phones.

[sighs]

We are so fuckin' resilient. Even
when we really don't want to be.

Um... [sighs] I've already
tried to kill myself once.

And you are still here, right?

Not so easy to shake this mortal coil.

Until someone sits on you till you die.

Yes, well...

Yes, there is that.

[objects crashing]

- [alarm continues blaring]
- [inmates clamoring]

[Sankey] Come on,
you're hurting me! Stop!

[Helen] Get your fucking hands off!

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, I don't think so.

[grunts]

[Sankey] No! No, no, no, please.

[Helen] Motherfucker!

[inmates screaming]

- Uh, that's a lot of them.
- Yep.

- Yeah, we should, uh...
- [inmates clamoring]

We got four of them,
right? Huh? That's enough.

- Yeah, that's plenty.
- Yeah.

[inmate] Tough guy.

Fucking guards. What's up, bitches?

[chuckles] What you gonna do?

[chuckles nervously]

[sighs]

[sighs] Uh, what do we do now?

[inmates clamoring]

- We get his keys.
- But how?

[scoffs] Distraction.

Show him your tits and I'll
get the keys, and then we run.

Look at this fat guy.
He can't outrun us.

All right. [grunts]

Jesus!

Hey, what you doing on the
floor? Come on. We've taken over.

Yeah, for real. We got guard
hostages and everything.

It's bananas out there. It's
like a party, except terrifying.

Are people getting mass
shot by a mass shooter?

No, someone popped a guard
in the leg. That's it.

All of you, get back down on the floor.

Uh-uh! I'm in charge here.

[yelling]

[clamoring continues]

Nah, I like... I like
carpet. I always have.

Carpet I prefer because
it's soft, for one.

And two, if you drop
shit, it doesn't break.

And also, you don't get splinters.

- And you can munch it.
- Okay.

- [Big Boo laughs]
- Hey.

Oh, Jesus.

How you doing?

You didn't see me.

No, 'course not.

Do you want a snack or something?

Yeah, I'll take some
Twizzlers if you got.

Yeah, we have Twizzlers.

Thanks.

You forgot salty. Now he doesn't
have the magic combination.

Idiot.

[inmates clamoring and laughing]

This where you're keeping guards?
We got a big one here for you.

Hey, Daya, we need you
again. We gotta open the door.

Oh, what about Bang Bang?

No, that's the kid from Flintstones.
That's no good. [chuckles]

Oh... [chuckles]

What?

- [chuckles] Nothing.
- Mmm? [chuckles]

You talkin' about me?

We were trying to guess
what your nickname could be

- when you go to Max.
- Mmm.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. I mean, I think
you were totally brave.

You, like, fucked up your whole
life so that we could be free.

And I don't think no one is gonna
mess with you in Max when they hear.

You know how bitches gossip.
Everyone gonna know you a badass.

[gasps] Maybe they call you Badass.

No, a nickname can't be
with "bad" and "ass" in it.

- How about Sexy Ass?
- Uh...

But then no one's gonna
know how hard she is, yo.

- Cold Ass Diaz?
- Get off the ass track.

How about Dominator? The Dominator.

Too kinky.

You know, you can't keep shooting
things down without pitching.

[breathing heavily]

[alarm continues blaring]

Now, you gonna read the
words just like they written.

You hear me?

No one's gonna be able to
hear with the alarm going off.

- What?
- Exactly.

[inmates clamoring]

Can you stop with the cracking?

- Nope.
- Which wire am I supposed to cut?

Hmm... the blue one.

You're full of shit.

[inmates exclaiming]

- Shit.
- Told ya.

That was the main power.

Then how is this fucking
alarm still ringing?

It's got its own power source.

- [alarm stops]
- [sighs]

[chuckles] See? Blue.

You are such an asshole.

You really gotta learn to trust more.

- [clears throat]
- [Taystee] Okay, we're ready.

He looks shiny.

[clicks tongue] Man, this
ain't a beauty pageant.

Go.

Read.

- [Caputo sighs]
- You best be getting to work.

"Her name was Poussey Washington.

She was kind and loyal, smart...

- and our best librarian."
- [Black Cindy] Hmm.

"She didn't deserve to be in here...

and she definitely didn't
deserve to die in here."

[Black Cindy] Mmm-hmm.

"She..."

I can't say that.

[sniffles]

[exhales heavily]

She was murdered.

CO Bayley murdered her.

And we want justice.

This bathroom is really nice.

It's got that pink soap
that smells like almonds.

[sighs] It's gonna be
dark soon. And no power.

So we need to find a place to hole up.

Ah, you said "hole."

Nice. I'm serious.

Things are gonna go from nuts to
insane around here in the dark.

And you know when this is all over,
there's gonna be a massive investigation.

There's a chance that
someone who's not an idiot

is gonna start asking questions
about that dead guard again.

Stop it. You're starting
to spin out again.

Stop yourself. Come
on. Smell my fingers.

They smell like marzipan.

"Smell my fingers" is
a weird come-on line.

Okay.

Mmm...

Come on my fingers, then?

They're so clean.

Why don't we go try to find a place
where we don't have to stay standing up.

[sighs]

Fine.

[cell phone vibrating]

- At least that fucking alarm went off.
- Mmm-hmm.

- [sighs] It's crazy-making.
- Mmm-hmm.

I'm still hearing a buzzing noise.

Wait.

No, I hear that, too.

Howdy, stranger.

Um... [chuckles nervously]

[inmates clamoring]

[grunts] It's too thick and it's bent.

This needle is for sewing in a hair
weave, not stitching up a gunshot wound.

[grunts]

This isn't gonna work.

Okay, so let's get him back on the
cart, and we'll roll him to medical.

[sighs] No.

You gotta pull it together right now.

Fake it. I don't care.
I can't let this guy die.

So get up, put one foot
in front of the other,

and help me load this sack of shit
back into the cart and roll now.

Bring it closer.

[inmates clamoring]

[Zirconia] It's like I got
all this energy, you know?

[Pidge] Will you slow down?
You got longer legs than me.

[Dwight] No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I have to get out of here!

[panting]

[groans]

[laughs] Shit.

[groaning]

I haven't finished
securing that side yet.

There. Now it's locked up good.

[continues groaning]

[Blanca] Wait.

[in Spanish] If you're
collecting guards,

there's that one from electrical
hiding out in the front office.

[in English] Guard hunt!

Will you slow down?

[Blanca sighs]

[grunting softly]

[clamoring continues]

We're back! Hey, who wants some drugs?

- Yum, yummy drugs.
- [Angie] I do.

No, Ang. We can't let 'em back here.

This is our turf, and
we were here first.

- Firsties keepsies!
- [groans]

- But I want drugs!
- Shh.

Okay, I got an idea, all right? Let's
all take a chill pill. Literally.

Now, I'm gonna come in there,
I'm gonna open the gate,

we're all gonna swallow
something wonderful.

And then, we're gonna have
a nice, civilized discussion.

You are not taking any pills.

I know. I know, okay? I won't.
Just... just follow my lead here.

- Okay, but I wanna hold the keys.
- [sighs]

[Leanne] What are you whispering about?

We're talking about
who's gonna hold the keys!

It's me.

[stuttering] I will hold the
keys, I will open the cage,

and I will select a medicine,
and you will all stand aside.

What am I getting?

The strongest benzo you can find.

Bento? Bento? That...
that's a Japanese food.

Okay, fuck it. New plan.

New plan! New plan!

I will hold the keys,
I will open the cage,

and then Nicky will
select something good

because she is very
good at drug selecting.

Oxy! Oxy! Oxy! Oxy!

No! No, no, no, no. I want that
pill that's like super heroin.

We got any of that? It's fentanyl.

Mmm, I can get the patch.

Or it could be an injectable.

Ooh! Should we inject stuff?

I bet there's, uh, needles in there.

Excellent idea! Let's all shoot up.

- Huh?
- [chuckles]

[Nicky] In you go, madame.

Hello! Is anybody here?

Just me. Everyone else
has fled. Talk of a riot.

[Sophia] The rumors are true.

We have a male, early 30s, gunshot
wound to the upper right thigh.

I think they hit a vein.

- How long has he been unconscious?
- He's been in and out.

- And he's lost a lot of blood.
- Thanks for bringing him in.

If you got this, I'm gonna
go check on Daya, okay?

[scoffs] You're gonna need some
help. I was a firema... firefighter.

Well, great. I'll take
all the help I can get.

[inmates clamoring]

Okay, you need to lose the shoes.

The... the deal was
for my bag and my phone,

and I think that that's more than fair.

These were not on sale, and your
feet look much bigger than mine.

You can keep your shoes.

Just hold them, so we can get
to the door faster and quieter.

- These floors look filthy.
- Mmm...

Okay, I'm done. Piper,
give her her shit back.

How did you even get a phone in here?

I put my phone in my underwear
and nail clippers in my pocket

so when I buzzed through
the metal detector,

I was all, "Oh, here,
just keep the clippers."

- And then I just walked right through.
- Oh, my God.

Isn't that clever? [gasps]

Hey, hold up. She a hostage?

Yeah. Yeah.

Then you should take her to C-Dorm.

They're collectin' all the hostages there.
Easier to manage in bulk, you know?

I'd do it myself, but this
one's a handful. Aren't you?

[grunts]

That's for throwing
the scissors at my head.

- You lucky I got a thick skull.
- [chuckles]

- That's me, lucky.
- Hey, can I have her jacket?

- Give her your jacket.
- What? No, it...

It goes with my dress. It's an outfit.

It makes you look boxy, so give it up.

It was really hiding your waist.

[Linda] Oh, um, I'm sorry.

I, uh... [chuckles]

Should we take the shoes, too?

Maybe to use the heels for
weapons, but not to wear.

They represent the patriarchy
and the oppression of women.

And they hurt like fuck.

The shoes, too.

We called them. We called the shoes.

Don't make me come over there.

Take them. Take the shoes.

'Kay. See ya.

But, uh...

[Pidge] We should have
grabbed that bag, too.

[Zirconia] Later.

[Taystee] Shit.

Man, it locked again.
How do you unlock it?

Okay! All right. All right. Uh...

The number six, lowercase
"p," capital "K,"

lowercase "a," "b," "s."

[Black Cindy] Six pack abs?

Ooh, I wanna see those.

All right, so... how do I post it?

Man, where do I post it?

I got an old Myspace
account. Still might work.

- [Taystee sighs]
- [Alison] Snapchat.

- I hear it's all about Snapchat now.
- [scoffs]

What? Why'd you make that snort noise?

Snapchat is a closed system,
and it only lasts a limited time.

But if you tweet with
a hashtag and a link,

it goes to Facebook,
Instagram, etcetera.

Really increases your
chance of going viral.

Hmm.

You're gonna want a
quick, catchy clickbait.

All right, something to
really grab the liberal market.

- That's who you want to appeal to.
- Why are you helping them?

Because their message
still exonerates MCC,

so what the hell do I care?

Bad apple guard. Sympathetic
victim. Justice will be served.

That's what I've been trying
to convey since the beginning.

He was a kid who was under-trained,

in over his head, who made
a grave and terrible mistake.

See, that's not good for MCC.

He was a kid who killed my friend.

My friend, who was a person,

and you didn't say her
name or nothing about her.

I know.

I know, and that was wrong,

but I was trying to prevent
one tragedy from becoming two.

Taystee, what's your endgame here?

How long do you think you can keep us?

They're gonna notice
you're missing during count.

They're gonna come looking for you.

[laughs] "Count." That's funny.

- There ain't no count.
- [Janae and Alison chuckle]

- We in charge now.
- Mmm-hmm.

What are you talking about?

Oh, shit. He don't know.

Why you think the alarm was going
off, and the lights and everything?

Riot.

Okay, upload this on the Twitter.

You need an account.

Do it on yours!

How long do you think this
riot of yours can last?

As long as it takes.

For what to happen, exactly?

- I don't know, for Bayley to get arrested.
- [Janae] Mmm-hmm.

- For the guards to get fired.
- [Janae and Alison] Mmm-hmm.

- For the food to get better.
- Mmm.

For classes and better jobs,
and maybe, like, basic dignity.

[Janae] Mmm-hmm.

We should write this shit down.

Not good for MCC.

Barring the arrest... I hope
you get everything you want.

I've never been able to
make a difference here.

Maybe you'll have better luck.

Maybe so.

[Caputo] But if you know anything
about the history of riots,

you know they don't end well.

- They never end well.
- [Janae] Uh-uh.

We, we're gonna get it done.

I hope you do.

Uh, I really have to pee.

Oh, I can help you with that.

See, just come up with a
catchy tweet, get our video out,

I give you my cup here.

You know, this was
delicious, by the way.

You know, a hint of cinnamon,
vanilla bean. Delightful!

Hey.

Uh, anyone mind if I
drink this one, too?

You've had enough caffeine.

[scoffing]

All right. Go to my bag, get my hotspot.

I'll upload for you.

Now, would somebody
please untie my hands

so that I can type and
hold my own dick?

[clicks tongue] Oh, come on. You no fun.

[inmates clamoring]

[sobbing]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

She's starting to lose it. [sighs]

You think we can break out of here?

I don't see how right now,

but... it's good that
they're falling apart.

That alarm was going off forever.

Someone'll come soon.
Max guards. Police, maybe.

- SWAT.
- Sure. Of course.

Are you scared?

I'm not not scared.

[grunts] Me, too.

Not not.

Don't do that.

- Hey! You!
- [bangs door]

You on that side. You on the other side.

Stay away from each other.

And I don't wanna hear
no talking between you.

You got that? Huh? You got it?

Daya, look.

You can't let these
guards see you like this.

You either gotta pull your shit
together, or give me the gun.

Okay, give me the gun.

Come on.

It's time.

Get the fuck away from me!

Everybody get the fuck away from me!

The fuck is happening here?

Fuck.

[both snoring]

[Lorna] So what now?

Now we hold tight, yeah?

The day is done. The
battle is won. [sniffles]

Speaking of holding tight.

Hey, back off, eyeballs.

What?

[gasps] Oh!

I'm talking about the keys to the cage.

Oh, wait, so you thought I was
talking about something else?

[chuckles]

You see... you... you have a
mental picture in your head, right?

Of me holding you tight.

And close.

Oh, it was about the keys?

- The keys?
- Mmm-hmm.

Which, by the way, you
are never going to get.

Oh, yeah?

Even if you have to hide
them some place very private?

And warm. [sighs] And wet.

Oh, shit.

Where are you going?

Well, now I have to find some
other place to hide them, don't I?

[monitor beeping]

[Adarsh] Is that really necessary?

He brought a gun into the prison.

We could have been looking at a Fort
Hood situation if he had not been disarmed

and shot.

I see.

I think we did good work.

I agree.

[breathes deeply]

"She didn't deserve to be in here...

and she definitely didn't
deserve to die in here."

I can't say that.

[exhales heavily]

She was murdered.

CO Bayley murdered her.

- [sighs]
- And we want justice.

- [indistinct chatter]
- [cell phone chimes]

"Her name was Poussey Washington.

- She was kind and loyal..."
- [scoffs]

- "...smart..."
- I knew it.

- "...and our best librarian."
- I knew it.

[inmates clamoring]

Oh, my God. Will you stop following us?

We tried. You're on your own.

Please. Please, I was
only in for a meeting.

Please, I don't want to be a
hostage or somebody's bitch.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Please help me. Please.

She's gonna be someone's bitch so fast.

- [crying]
- Maybe we should help her.

What?

What happened to staying out
of trouble and laying low?

You have, what, three months left?

And God forbid my face ends up
on TV when this thing gets bigger.

We need to hide and ride it out.

- There is a puddle of blood on the floor.
- But she's so pathetic.

- [sighs]
- She reminds me of me.

How I was, but more annoying.

And I never wore suits or
worked for a big corporation.

And she's older. Look, Al,
I don't want to not lay low,

but I also don't want
to lose my humanity.

Again.

I'm in an amends for bad behavior phase.

Fine.

But the minute she gets risky
for us, we are ditching her ass.

- Okay.
- Get changed.

Welcome to Litchfield, inmate... [sighs]

Ibrahim?

No, you need to make
up a different name.

Amelia Von Barlow.

You had that ready to go.

I once wrote a novella.

Get your pants on, Von Barlow,

and find some boots.

And yes, you will definitely
be getting athlete's foot.

[sniffs] Is this vomit?

Um...

[sniffs] No.

Prison slop. Yesterday's
dinner, I'm guessing.

It's an easy mistake to make, though.

Hmm. Okay.

- Captain?
- [inmates clamoring]

[inmate 1] You suck! Fuck that bullshit!

[inmate 2] You coming
out, or we coming in?

[inmate 3] Get out
here and suck my dick!

- [inmates clamoring]
- [inmate 4] Get out, motherfucker.

Put him with the others.

- Move, motherfucker!
- [straining]

- Piece of shit.
- Line him up!

You pat him down?

A lot.

All the doors to the outside are secure.

Whoa, I need to lie down.

Wake me up if there's shit happening.

[sighs] Nice shoes.

- We got any more COs out there?
- I got people looking.

I bet they all ran away before
Blanca got the doors done.

[feedback over radio]

Maybe not.

[Stratman on radio] Anybody out there?

Dixon? McCullough? Do you copy?

Caputo?

Hello? Isn't it, like, time
for dinner or something?

I'm hungry.

Anybody?

Nothing.

[sighs] I don't know
what the fuck's going on.

They're all out there
plotting your deaths.

Shut the fuck up!

[Red chuckles]
Competitive table setting?

[Ginsberg] Tablescape.
It's called tablescape.

[both chuckling]

- Hey.
- [Ginsberg] Oh, hello.

[Red] We're in here.

You know if the phone works?

- [grunts] Oh!
- [chuckles]

Merry Christmas.

It does. You need to leave now.

We're kind of in the
middle of something, huh?

- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [chuckling]

We can do this later. Do you
mind if we take this with us?

And... and these?

Do whatever you want. Just get out now.

- [Ginsberg] Getting... getting out.
- [Red grunting]

[Ginsberg] Okay, going. Thank you.

- [line ringing]
- Come on, Ma.

- [phone beeps]
- Pick up. Ma?

[Aleida] Hello, you've reached
Aleida's phone, bitches.

- Leave a message.
- [grunts]

[upbeat music playing]

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