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Man: This holiday season,
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00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,880
show your loved ones
that you really care
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00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:32,880
by getting them the gift
that they've always wanted.
4
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,880
Whoa, dad! Really?!
5
00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:37,466
Girl: Yes!
6
00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:39,259
Is there anything else?
Wow.
7
00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:41,811
Slim jenko!
This is just what I wanted!
8
00:00:41,846 --> 00:00:43,881
I want some!
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00:00:43,916 --> 00:00:45,743
We can all have some.
10
00:00:45,778 --> 00:00:48,191
Man: We here at slim jenko
pride ourselves
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00:00:48,226 --> 00:00:51,226
on delivering a rich,
flavorful malt beverage
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00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:52,778
for the entire family.
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00:00:52,812 --> 00:00:55,571
Make us part
of your holiday tradition.
14
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,881
Man #2: This Friday night
at midnight on channel 83.
15
00:00:57,916 --> 00:00:59,881
- Mommy!
- Lester.
16
00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:01,503
Lester, what are you doing?
17
00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:04,503
"Killed on Christmas:
The Lester lord stor..."
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00:01:09,365 --> 00:01:13,158
Woman: Including a regulation
busting 2,500 milligrams
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00:01:13,192 --> 00:01:14,744
of pure thc.
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00:01:14,779 --> 00:01:16,572
Man #3: Kunz Christmas
creampies,
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00:01:16,606 --> 00:01:19,365
an established cream pie
professional for over 50...
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00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:21,711
Man #4: The U.S. defense
department has spent over
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00:01:21,745 --> 00:01:24,607
a trillion dollars on the most
cutting edge robot technology,
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00:01:24,642 --> 00:01:27,745
deployed overseas for a swift
victory against america's
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00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:31,262
deadliest enemies, and now
sowell robotic products
26
00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:34,745
is here to make that technology
fun for the entire family.
27
00:01:36,849 --> 00:01:39,193
Ho. Ho. Ho.
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00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,884
Man #4:
Introducing robosanta plus
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00:01:40,919 --> 00:01:42,608
for the upcoming holiday season,
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00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:45,470
with a vocabulary
of over 90,000 words,
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00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:46,850
a full range of motion,
32
00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:48,815
and built with
military grade construction,
33
00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:51,781
robosanta plus fully replaces
your local degenerate
34
00:01:51,815 --> 00:01:54,781
mall Santa, keeping you
and your children safe.
35
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:58,194
Exclusively this weekend
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00:01:58,229 --> 00:02:03,644
at midland mall and gw bonkers.
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00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:13,299
♪♪
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00:02:16,954 --> 00:02:24,954
♪♪
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00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:32,369
♪ I am the yule tide cold
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00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:35,369
♪ leave the winter closed
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00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:39,335
♪ like hive of holy
42
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♪ well, I dream of you
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00:02:42,611 --> 00:02:46,232
♪ nothing is
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♪ and the slick
45
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,163
♪ to not peak at your
breast, love ♪
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♪ before the devil reigns
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Tori: Thanks for
coming in, guys.
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Thank you. Have a good one.
49
00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:04,854
Oh, shit!
50
00:03:04,888 --> 00:03:06,681
Hi.
51
00:03:06,716 --> 00:03:08,681
You look amazing.
52
00:03:08,716 --> 00:03:11,509
Hey, let me know if
you need anything.
53
00:03:11,543 --> 00:03:13,543
Tori: Hey, it's almost 7:00,
so I'm going to start
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00:03:13,578 --> 00:03:15,199
closing up out back.
You got it?
55
00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:17,268
- Yeah.
- Oh, can you put this away?
56
00:03:17,303 --> 00:03:18,958
- Sure.
- Thank you.
57
00:03:18,993 --> 00:03:20,199
- Hey!
- Oh, shit.
58
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,717
- Merry Christmas.
- Hi.
59
00:03:21,751 --> 00:03:23,382
It's about time you show
your fucking face around here.
60
00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:24,624
Yeah, I've been busy.
You guys are swamped.
61
00:03:24,648 --> 00:03:26,234
-I know, I know.
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00:03:26,268 --> 00:03:27,796
I thought you and lahna
were closing tonight.
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00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:30,303
Yeah, no, I told her I had to
run home because I, um...
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00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:31,579
Didn't get her gift.
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00:03:31,613 --> 00:03:33,165
- I did get her a gift.
- Oh, did you?
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00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:34,556
But I'm now second guessing it,
so now I'm going
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- to get some records.
- Oh, yeah, you should be
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00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:37,452
second guessing this.
She has both of these.
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00:03:37,476 --> 00:03:38,925
- She does.
- She does. Yeah.
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00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:40,683
Uh, follow me. Come on.
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00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:42,649
You guys been together
for, what, like a year?
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How are you this fucking dumb?
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No, I'm not... it's...
I can't tell the difference
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00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,442
between all these bands that
the logos all look the same.
75
00:03:48,476 --> 00:03:50,211
- They all look the fucking same?
- They all look the same.
76
00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:52,176
- All scratchy and weird.
- Yeah, they kind of do.
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00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,788
Uh, all right, so what I'm going
to show you now... yes.
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00:03:55,822 --> 00:03:58,167
We saw these guys open at
a festival this summer.
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She was fucking all over it.
They've got the psychedelic,
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00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,270
cosmic riff.
She'll fucking love it.
81
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,512
- Deathcrux?
- Yeah.
82
00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:05,926
Okay. And she does
not have this?
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00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,512
- She does not have this.
- Right on.
84
00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:08,867
- You're welcome.
- Yes. No, thank you, Tori.
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00:04:08,891 --> 00:04:10,753
Thank you.
You saved Christmas again.
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00:04:10,788 --> 00:04:14,651
Tori: By the way, I will come
and say merry Christmas
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00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:16,306
- to Lauren.
- Sounds good.
88
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,972
But just don't tell her
I showed up here, okay?
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00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,868
- What are you talking about?
- Don't do the whole thing you do
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00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,420
- when you're like...
- "Oh, my god, it's so good
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00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,375
- to see you.
- No, yeah, don't do that.
92
00:04:23,409 --> 00:04:24,513
- Okay, bye.
- Okay.
93
00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:25,858
- Robbie.
- Hey, bro.
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00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:27,454
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, man.
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00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:30,306
♪ Bloody Christmas,
bloody Christmas ♪
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00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:33,203
♪ bloody Christmas,
bloody Christmas ♪
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Robbie: Fuck yeah.
Almost 2 grand.
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00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,514
- Yeah, that's a big day.
- Does that mean a big boy bonus?
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00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,238
- Means a bonus, yeah.
- Fuck yeah, dawg!
100
00:04:44,272 --> 00:04:46,755
What are you going
to do with your big bonus?
101
00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:48,238
You got any plans?
102
00:04:48,272 --> 00:04:49,490
Well, the talent show
is at 8:00 P.M.
103
00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:51,204
- So, no, not really.
- Yeah.
104
00:04:51,239 --> 00:04:52,905
What are you going to do this
fine Christmas Eve?
105
00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:57,825
I was potentially going to go
meet up with a dude,
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00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,860
but I don't know.
107
00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,480
- A dude, a man.
- Yep.
108
00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:02,836
Okay, on Christmas Eve,
you're going to invite
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00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,584
a stranger to your house.
110
00:05:04,618 --> 00:05:05,836
Uh, a stranger to
Reggie's, yeah.
111
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,411
Okay, cool.
Fuck, they're still open.
112
00:05:07,446 --> 00:05:09,180
Did you meet him organically,
113
00:05:09,204 --> 00:05:10,699
or is this, like, a tinder
sort of scenario?
114
00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:13,619
- Tinder situation, yeah.
- Oh, tinder, okay.
115
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:14,895
- Yeah.
- Can I see him?
116
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,654
- Eh.
- Eh. He must be a fucking stud.
117
00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,240
What the fuck else
am I supposed to do?
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You want me to go home,
drink some whiskey,
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sit by the fire by my lonesome,
watch "a Christmas story"
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00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:27,550
like every other
fucking douchebag in america?
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00:05:27,585 --> 00:05:29,344
Yeah. Sounds kind of nice.
122
00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:32,344
Or you to go to
drink some whiskey with me.
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00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:33,631
Uh, that lahna's Christmas gift.
124
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- Is it?
- So you can put a fuckin'...
125
00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:36,872
- No longer.
- What the fuck are you doing?
126
00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,482
So, fuck no.
127
00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:39,793
I wanted to do that, too.
128
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,172
So hand me some cups,
and let's go.
129
00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,206
Are you gonna go see
your pops up north tomorrow?
130
00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:45,620
- Yeah.
- You should probably get
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- a head start late tonight.
- No. Fuck that.
132
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,621
One day, in and out, is my rule.
133
00:05:48,656 --> 00:05:50,207
I can't see anything
wrong in that.
134
00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,552
- Fair enough.
- Mazel tov.
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00:05:51,587 --> 00:05:55,414
Robbie: Mazel tov.
Cheers, motherfucker.
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00:05:55,449 --> 00:05:57,173
Only quit stalling.
Show me Tommy tinder.
137
00:05:57,207 --> 00:05:59,173
What the fuck is
your obsession with this?
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00:05:59,207 --> 00:06:00,632
- I want to see him.
- I don't want to
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00:06:00,656 --> 00:06:01,908
- show him to you.
- Is he big? Is he a big boy?
140
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:03,380
- Oh.
- Bbw.
141
00:06:03,414 --> 00:06:04,770
- That what you want to know?
- Yeah.
142
00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:07,760
In that case,
I'll fuckin' show you. Here.
143
00:06:10,346 --> 00:06:11,657
What?
144
00:06:11,691 --> 00:06:13,519
I didn't know you knew
Emmett eyeliner.
145
00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,588
Emmett eyeliner.
Why are you calling him that?
146
00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:16,978
- Do you know him?
- I know of him.
147
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,622
Did he tell you he got,
like, three kids?
148
00:06:18,657 --> 00:06:20,346
Wait four.
Someone's pregnant now, I think.
149
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,691
- Oh, fuck! He's got kids?
- Yeah.
150
00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:24,381
I don't fucking care.
151
00:06:24,415 --> 00:06:26,761
I just want a little
Christmas Eve schlong.
152
00:06:26,796 --> 00:06:29,382
Well, dude's a genic jackhammer.
153
00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:31,554
- Oh, Jesus.
- Little, uh, sperm canon,
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00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:33,347
all I'm saying.
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00:06:33,382 --> 00:06:35,565
Okay, I'm happy you told me
that, so I'll wear my dental dam
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00:06:35,589 --> 00:06:37,692
and get fucking sauced
before he shows up.
157
00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:39,623
Thank you.
That's so sweet of you.
158
00:06:39,658 --> 00:06:40,668
Robbie: Well,
I'll tell you what.
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00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,175
I can go to Reggie's with you
160
00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:44,520
because, um, I don't really
have shit to do.
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00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:46,762
Robbie, that's very,
very sweet of you,
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00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:47,969
but I want to get laid.
163
00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:49,728
Not wax poetic
with the regulars.
164
00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:52,624
Well, seeing as you didn't
buy me a Christmas present
165
00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:54,486
this year, I'm going
to take this.
166
00:06:54,521 --> 00:06:55,866
- Oh.
- Thank you.
167
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,693
And you can enjoy your,
what, two hours
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00:06:57,728 --> 00:07:01,900
of unbearable conversation,
your 7 seconds of lame sex.
169
00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:05,970
You go home, probably, you know,
get yourself off anyway.
170
00:07:06,005 --> 00:07:07,660
Or, I'm just throwing
this out there,
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00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:12,384
you can have two hours of
amazing, vivacious,
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00:07:12,418 --> 00:07:16,315
sort of hauntingly
erotic conversation.
173
00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:18,177
- Hauntingly erotic?
- Hauntingly erotic?
174
00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:19,901
And you can go home anyway.
175
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:22,694
You know, get yourself off,
like, flick your little bean.
176
00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,523
- Oh?
- Yeah.
177
00:07:24,557 --> 00:07:26,671
And you don't have to wake up
next to 30 seconds to Mars.
178
00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:28,902
All right, well, I've got
a proposition for you.
179
00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:30,764
How about you give me back
my fucking whiskey
180
00:07:30,799 --> 00:07:34,488
and stop talking about me
flicking at my fucking bean?
181
00:07:34,523 --> 00:07:35,626
- Okay.
- How about that?
182
00:07:35,661 --> 00:07:37,350
Have you confirmed with him?
183
00:07:37,385 --> 00:07:40,178
No, I have not given him a time.
184
00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:41,775
Poor guy. It's kind of sad.
He's probably at home
185
00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:44,765
scrolling through your
social media, fingers sweaty,
186
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,800
hand firmly on cock, just...
187
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,558
Beating that meat,
waiting for your text
188
00:07:49,593 --> 00:07:51,869
to pop up at the top.
189
00:07:51,903 --> 00:07:53,627
Mm. I've blown off
twice already, so.
190
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:55,179
- Third time's a charm.
- Yeah.
191
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:57,800
Come on, get a drink
with your old pal Robbie.
192
00:07:57,834 --> 00:08:00,972
It's my long time
employee Robbie.
193
00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:03,387
- That's a little bit harsh.
- It's true. I own you.
194
00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:04,846
- You own me?
- You're on my payroll. Yeah.
195
00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,835
Mama. Okay. Okay. Okay.
196
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,973
I'm going to change your mind.
Have you heard his music?
197
00:08:10,008 --> 00:08:12,904
- I have not bothered, no.
- Oh, that answers a lot.
198
00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:14,525
Why? What you got?
199
00:08:14,559 --> 00:08:15,880
Robbie: I'll show you something
something fun.
200
00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:17,318
Tori: Hmm.
201
00:08:17,352 --> 00:08:19,283
All right. Ready?
202
00:08:19,318 --> 00:08:21,353
I'm losing interest already.
Come on.
203
00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:22,698
Alright, you'll see.
204
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,191
Hang on, hang on, hang on,
hang on, hang on.
205
00:08:24,215 --> 00:08:26,767
What?
206
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:29,767
- Oh, my god.
- Soothing.
207
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:31,502
Tori: Shut the fuck up.
Why is he whisper singing?
208
00:08:31,526 --> 00:08:32,950
Robbie: Doesn't want to
wake his parents, probably.
209
00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:34,353
What the fuck?
Turn that off.
210
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,905
Why are you showing
that to me? Stop.
211
00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:37,571
Well, you know, it's not like
you're going to saddle up
212
00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:39,433
with the son of a bitch.
I mean, you should probably
213
00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:42,492
let the guy go back
to his family and his kids.
214
00:08:42,527 --> 00:08:43,906
He's a daddy, after all.
215
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,389
- Daddy?
- Yeah.
216
00:08:45,423 --> 00:08:48,561
Little Tommy tinder.
217
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,354
Well...
218
00:08:52,527 --> 00:08:53,813
All right.
Let's go get shit faced.
219
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,561
But you're not getting
anything either.
220
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,227
So if you want to go flick
your fucking bean,
221
00:08:57,251 --> 00:08:58,423
do what you need to do.
222
00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,976
- Come on.
- All right.
223
00:09:00,011 --> 00:09:01,607
- Turn off the music.
- Well, considering you were
224
00:09:01,631 --> 00:09:02,987
gonna saddle up
with old Emmett eyeliner,
225
00:09:03,011 --> 00:09:04,735
I'm not sure
how I should feel about that.
226
00:09:04,769 --> 00:09:06,607
Well, I don't work with them
Emmett eyeliner, do I?
227
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,262
Well, I am better looking in
that douche, though, right?
228
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,631
Do you want to fucking die?
229
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,366
Get your fucking grubby shoes
off the counter.
230
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:14,666
Kill the music
before I change my mind.
231
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,883
- Should I meet you there or?
- No, we're going to walk.
232
00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:21,425
- Well, it's fucking snowing out.
- Oh, my god. That's so scary!
233
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,391
Come on.
Get those chicken legs out.
234
00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,494
Let's go for a walk.
I got to bring this to lahna.
235
00:09:25,529 --> 00:09:27,470
Robbie: Why? They close at 6:00.
They're not going to be open.
236
00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,943
No, they'll still be there.
237
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:30,977
They're having a little
Christmas Eve fuckfest.
238
00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:32,563
What the hell, why?
239
00:09:32,598 --> 00:09:34,298
Tori: You don't want to fuck
in a toy store?
240
00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:36,460
No. Well, mm, maybe. I mean...
241
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:37,989
Sounds like you don't want
to fuck in a toy store.
242
00:09:38,013 --> 00:09:40,323
It's just kind of weird.
Like, I feel sorry for the kid
243
00:09:40,357 --> 00:09:42,299
that's going to go in tomorrow,
buy a Teddy bear covered
244
00:09:42,323 --> 00:09:43,737
- in fucking cum.
- Oh, my god.
245
00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:45,495
We're going to scar him.
That poor child.
246
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,875
Come on. Lock up behind you.
247
00:09:54,771 --> 00:09:56,220
Robbie:
We could have taken my car.
248
00:09:56,255 --> 00:09:57,565
Would have been a smart option.
249
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,565
Do you want to keep
keep complaining?
250
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,255
Or do you want to just walk
in silence?
251
00:10:01,289 --> 00:10:02,714
- What do you want to do?
- You're the one who was
252
00:10:02,738 --> 00:10:04,738
complaining all day about
fucking Christmas this,
253
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,196
Christmas that, oh, I fucking
hate Christmas.
254
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,841
Well, Christmas fucking sucks.
255
00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:10,393
Do you not agree that there's
no good fucking Christmas music,
256
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:12,669
- no good Christmas movies.
- Bad religion had
257
00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:14,817
- a great Christmas album.
- Just fucking get it over with.
258
00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:16,739
- Eh.
- It was good.
259
00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:19,635
There aren't many albums
that give me that spirit
260
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:20,980
of fucking Christmas.
261
00:10:21,015 --> 00:10:22,808
Well, bad fuckin' religion,
ain't it, buddy.
262
00:10:22,842 --> 00:10:24,463
Give me that.
263
00:10:24,497 --> 00:10:30,290
I would go as far to say
there's like fucking two...
264
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,187
Two Christmas songs
that are good,
265
00:10:32,221 --> 00:10:35,671
and that's if you don't count,
if and only if, you don't count
266
00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:37,705
fucking crypt keeper
"Christmas rap."
267
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,257
Okay, love
"tales from the crypt."
268
00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:41,257
That song sucks the fucking shit
out of my ass.
269
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:44,843
This is coming from a guy
who jizzes his fucking pants
270
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:48,981
every single time he hears
buster Poindexter's cover of
271
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,947
"zat you, Santa claus?"
272
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,854
Robbie: No, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't like that cover.
273
00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:54,465
I like the version
with the commentary
274
00:10:54,499 --> 00:10:56,327
from beavis and butthead.
275
00:10:56,361 --> 00:10:58,499
- Okay.
- Okay.
276
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,223
"Merry Christmas", ramones,
then.
277
00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:02,499
That's mine. What's your big
fucking runner up?
278
00:11:02,534 --> 00:11:07,534
Uh, sorry to say,
but "merry Christmas", ramones,
279
00:11:07,568 --> 00:11:09,327
that's a fucking runner up.
280
00:11:09,361 --> 00:11:10,499
- Yeah.
- Fuck you.
281
00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:11,775
- First place...
- Fuck you.
282
00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,431
First place is our lord
and savior lemmy
283
00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:15,673
with "run Rudolph run."
Oh, it's magic!
284
00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:17,373
Robbie: Okay.
It's not like it's motorhead.
285
00:11:17,397 --> 00:11:18,821
It's lemmy with
the fucking Foo Fighters.
286
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,983
- Oh, r.I.P.
- Oh, r.I.P.
287
00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:23,362
Also lemmy is fucking motorhead,
you idiot.
288
00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:24,431
Yeah.
289
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,673
Hey!
290
00:11:25,707 --> 00:11:28,397
Lahna!
291
00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:29,845
She knows you're coming, right?
292
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,777
Yeah, of course
she knows I'm fucking coming.
293
00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:33,329
Oh.
294
00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:35,225
- Hey, bitch.
- Hi!
295
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,674
Mwah! You look so good.
296
00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:37,719
- Thank you.
- Hey, gorgeous.
297
00:11:37,743 --> 00:11:39,432
- Mwah.
- Mwah.
298
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,812
I brought you and Jay
a little something, something.
299
00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:44,432
Ooh, I got you this.
300
00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,684
Oh, my god. I love you so much.
301
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:47,536
- I missed you.
- I missed you, too.
302
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:48,881
Tori: Where's Jay?
303
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,916
He's in the back, freshening up.
304
00:11:50,951 --> 00:11:53,675
You know, he just gets
a little musty.
305
00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:55,744
He gets a little musty?
306
00:11:55,778 --> 00:11:57,340
- You got a lot going on.
- Musty she says.
307
00:11:57,364 --> 00:11:58,892
Lahna: Yeah, you know
all about that, right?
308
00:11:58,916 --> 00:11:59,961
- No, I do.
- You know all about that?
309
00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:01,571
- Baby.
- Yeah.
310
00:12:01,606 --> 00:12:02,789
You know all about
a little musty must?
311
00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:04,468
I got a stinky dick.
312
00:12:04,502 --> 00:12:06,709
- That's so fucked up.
- Cute, right?
313
00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:08,192
- Bitch.
- Yeah?
314
00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:09,813
You already cracked this open.
315
00:12:09,848 --> 00:12:12,538
We may have had, like,
like a couple of drinks.
316
00:12:12,572 --> 00:12:15,883
This is the nicest thing
anybody's ever done for me.
317
00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:18,193
I know. I know. It's very nice.
And listen.
318
00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:19,859
Because we love you.
We didn't buy it for you.
319
00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:21,986
We're giving it to you.
320
00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:24,572
- Well, merry fucking Christmas.
- Merry fucking Christmas.
321
00:12:24,607 --> 00:12:27,469
- Baby!
- On it. Jesus Christ!
322
00:12:27,503 --> 00:12:28,676
- Hey!
- This motherfucker.
323
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:29,918
I haven't seen you in so long.
324
00:12:29,953 --> 00:12:31,608
- How are you?
- Oh, yeah. Right?
325
00:12:31,642 --> 00:12:33,263
- How are you?
- Hey, bro.
326
00:12:33,297 --> 00:12:34,618
- Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
327
00:12:34,642 --> 00:12:36,228
- You look good.
- Thank you.
328
00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:37,791
- Yeah, you do.
- I've been doing nothing but
329
00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:40,435
selling toys and fucking
living the clean life.
330
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,194
Keep up.
331
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:45,332
Oh! Um, what's up with you two?
What's going on here?
332
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,308
- Uh, just grabbing a drink.
- Just grabbing a drink.
333
00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:48,792
I had to talk her out
of some tinder trash.
334
00:12:48,816 --> 00:12:50,264
You didn't talk me
out of anything.
335
00:12:50,298 --> 00:12:51,550
What was his name?
Emmett... Emmett...
336
00:12:51,574 --> 00:12:52,895
- We don't have to talk...
- Emmett! Oh, shit!
337
00:12:52,919 --> 00:12:54,436
Tori: No, I think
we're ignoring that.
338
00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:55,723
Motherfuckin' four-kid Emmett.
Four kid Emmett?
339
00:12:55,747 --> 00:12:57,298
- No.
- Nearly five kid Emmett.
340
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:58,585
Four kid Emmett. Why does
everybody know Emmett
341
00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,264
- except for me?
- He's got four kids.
342
00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:02,195
- All right. Well, cheers. Yeah.
- No, no, no.
343
00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:03,792
What was the song? What was
the song? It was...
344
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,333
We don't need the song.
345
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,196
♪ And her heart
whispers in my head ♪
346
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:09,758
- Alright, fuckers.
- Go for it, tap on in.
347
00:13:09,782 --> 00:13:10,989
♪ Because she's half dead
348
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,851
- Tori!
- No, no, no, no.
349
00:13:12,886 --> 00:13:14,575
Come back, come back,
come back, come back.
350
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:15,965
- Come back, come back.
- Alright, you guys, I'm back.
351
00:13:15,989 --> 00:13:17,517
- It's a catchy song.
- It's a good song.
352
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:18,586
It's the feel good hit
of the winter.
353
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:19,713
- Okay, cheers.
- Cheers.
354
00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,403
- To Christmas!
- To Christmas!
355
00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:23,265
- Bah humbug.
- Bah humbug.
356
00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:24,472
Santa: Ho, ho, ho.
357
00:13:24,506 --> 00:13:26,335
Come sit on Santa's lap
358
00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,680
and tell him what you
want for Christmas.
359
00:13:28,714 --> 00:13:30,369
Ugh!
360
00:13:30,404 --> 00:13:33,680
- I fucking hate that.
- No, they all get recalled.
361
00:13:33,714 --> 00:13:35,783
Priest said that to me
when I was a young boy.
362
00:13:35,818 --> 00:13:38,887
Are you okay?
You're not fucking okay.
363
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,645
- No, I'm not well.
- It's so bad.
364
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,542
Thank god they're taking it out
on Friday.
365
00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,621
Has he ever come to life
while you guys were fucking?
366
00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:45,922
Oh, he joins.
367
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:47,370
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
368
00:13:47,405 --> 00:13:48,922
- He's anatomical.
- Oh, really?
369
00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:50,750
- Big bad Santa.
- Okay.
370
00:13:50,784 --> 00:13:53,267
- Big Santa.
- But I am hoping that they
371
00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:54,346
leave behind this aspect of it.
372
00:13:54,370 --> 00:13:55,439
Tori: What?
373
00:13:56,750 --> 00:14:00,888
- Oh!
- Oh, baby, it's so romantic!
374
00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:03,370
Okay, we're getting the fuck
out of here.
375
00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:04,554
This is too much
Christmas for me.
376
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,992
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no, no, stay, stay.
377
00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:10,958
Stop! I fuckin'... that's a lot.
That is a lot.
378
00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:13,785
It's really excessive. We're
gonna have one drink and go.
379
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,475
- All right. Yeah, fine.
- Fine.
380
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:17,233
Jay: We could just...
You guys hang out.
381
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:18,865
- We could have some more drinks.
- We're not going to hang out.
382
00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:20,416
- The four of us.
- We're not gonna hang out.
383
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,968
- Santa, the anatomical Santa.
- We're good.
384
00:14:21,992 --> 00:14:23,406
- Okay, alright.
- Alright.
385
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,786
- Easy, tiger.
- Alright.
386
00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:26,372
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
387
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,683
Fuck. Merry Christmas
to a fuckin' day off.
388
00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:30,545
- Little bit of flavor in there.
- Yeah.
389
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,717
- Mm.
- Okay, I love you.
390
00:14:32,752 --> 00:14:34,545
Get the fuck out.
I want to fuck my husband.
391
00:14:34,579 --> 00:14:35,855
- Mwah.
- Merry Christmas.
392
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:36,993
- Merry Christmas.
- Bye.
393
00:14:37,028 --> 00:14:38,338
- See you.
- See you.
394
00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:39,452
- See ya, bud.
- All right. We're going.
395
00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:40,372
- Goodbye.
- See ya.
396
00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:43,960
♪ Oh, she's whispering
in my head ♪
397
00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:45,925
Fucking hate you guys!
398
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,856
♪ I'm half deaf for you
399
00:14:47,891 --> 00:14:50,856
I'm stealing your candy.
Thank you.
400
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,856
- Come on, let's go.
- Ugh!
401
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,408
Let's fucking go.
402
00:14:54,442 --> 00:14:55,822
- God!
- Come on!
403
00:14:55,856 --> 00:14:57,925
Coming. I'm coming.
404
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:02,271
Santa: Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas.
405
00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:09,788
Sowell robotic products'
new animatronic
406
00:15:09,823 --> 00:15:11,823
state of the art Santa claus
featured at our own
407
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:13,971
t.w. Bonkers is now the subject
of an international recall.
408
00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:15,833
There have been reports that
some of the Santa units
409
00:15:15,857 --> 00:15:18,202
are reverting to their old
defense department firmware.
410
00:15:18,236 --> 00:15:20,857
Thus far, most of the reports
have been of harmless pranks.
411
00:15:20,892 --> 00:15:23,651
Fuck no!
412
00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:25,237
Larry, can you turn
that shit off?
413
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,720
- That's so depressing.
- Yeah.
414
00:15:26,755 --> 00:15:28,203
You guys want one more
415
00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:29,341
to close it out?
416
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,858
Yeah, we will.
417
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:32,731
Can we get another round
and a shot of whiskey, please?
418
00:15:32,755 --> 00:15:34,662
You're going to chase a shot
of whiskey with more whiskey?
419
00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,651
I am. It's a holiday.
That's what you do.
420
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,548
- This is true.
- Thank you.
421
00:15:38,582 --> 00:15:41,342
Is this, uh, together?
Or separate?
422
00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,825
Togeth... together.
423
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,307
It's on one bill. I got it.
424
00:15:45,342 --> 00:15:46,870
- Oh, la di da.
- It's part of your bonus.
425
00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:49,514
Although I am a little
disappointed.
426
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,825
He didn't even offer
to pay for the fuckin' last...
427
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,480
Excuse me, this is not
a date, remember?
428
00:15:53,514 --> 00:15:55,652
Yeah, no, I fuckin'
remember now.
429
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,204
Happy I didn't think otherwise.
430
00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:58,307
-Fun hangout
-yeah.
431
00:15:58,342 --> 00:15:59,757
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
432
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,274
You think would have
picked up the tab for, uh,
433
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:05,274
doctor fuckin' Emmett eyeliner.
434
00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:06,860
Depends on how the night went.
435
00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:09,009
Probably would have forgotten
his wallet or something.
436
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:11,826
Mnh-mnh. Did this dude fuck
your mom or something?
437
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:14,481
Why the fuck... every single
time you talk about him,
438
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,998
I'm like so close
to forgetting him,
439
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,446
and then you bring him up again.
440
00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:18,941
I'm just like, just like,
it baffles me
441
00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:20,389
that you were going to let him,
like, you know,
442
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,837
- stick his penis just...
- Taint me?
443
00:16:21,861 --> 00:16:23,389
- Inside you.
- He's gonna fuckin' taint me?
444
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:24,768
- He was gonna taint you.
- Yeah, I'm horny,
445
00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:26,552
and it's a holiday.
What am I supposed to do?
446
00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,999
Do you want to go through...
Larry, do you want to go through
447
00:16:29,034 --> 00:16:30,689
Robbie's list of prize catches?
448
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,240
- Not again.
- 'Cause fuckin'...
449
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:33,768
No, remember this?
Remember rotten Rebecca?
450
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,251
The one that smelled like
a fucking fish market.
451
00:16:35,275 --> 00:16:36,965
- Oh, god.
- She was great.
452
00:16:36,999 --> 00:16:38,528
Yeah, had to walk out
of the room every time...
453
00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:40,276
- Rotten Rebecca.
- Every time she fucking
454
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:41,345
walked in one.
455
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:42,690
Oh, my god.
456
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,345
That honestly made me
want to throw up.
457
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,483
That was so gross.
458
00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:46,655
Who else? Come on.
459
00:16:46,690 --> 00:16:48,276
Do you want to talk about Tina?
460
00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,793
- Tina?
- Googly eyed Tina?
461
00:16:50,828 --> 00:16:52,528
Do you want me to keep going?
That's my point.
462
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:54,011
- That was a condition.
- Do you want me to keep going?
463
00:16:54,035 --> 00:16:55,724
- She couldn't help it.
- Okay.
464
00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:58,277
- She's a beautiful woman.
- Can you shut the fuck up?
465
00:16:58,311 --> 00:16:59,494
Jay: Okay, babe, no, seriously.
466
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,346
He's been her employee
for years.
467
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:03,277
One, I think
it's illegal if they fuck.
468
00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:05,898
And two, he'll never
close the deal.
469
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,932
Lahna: She had that glow
in her eyes.
470
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:12,908
Jay: Okay, okay, fine.
No, she fucking might have.
471
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,391
But he won't even come close to
closing the deal.
472
00:17:14,415 --> 00:17:15,795
- What?
- Not at all.
473
00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:18,657
Lahna: 1,000 percent
they're fucking tonight.
474
00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:21,312
- Fuck that.
- Unless Robbie's dick
475
00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:24,692
gets chopped up,
they're gonna fuck tonight.
476
00:17:24,726 --> 00:17:27,002
Jay: What are you fuck...
Fuck that. Okay. All right.
477
00:17:27,037 --> 00:17:28,588
- You want him bet?
- Yeah.
478
00:17:29,864 --> 00:17:31,416
Jay: Okay, great, great,
great, great.
479
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:32,702
Alright, how much you fucking
want to bet then?
480
00:17:32,726 --> 00:17:33,978
Are you ever going
to settle down,
481
00:17:34,002 --> 00:17:35,693
you know, chill the fuck out.
482
00:17:35,727 --> 00:17:36,693
Are you?
483
00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:38,313
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
484
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,969
- Hopefully.
- Oh, okay, great.
485
00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:41,841
Well, maybe I'll fucking settle
down when I can find a man
486
00:17:41,865 --> 00:17:43,417
that can keep up with me.
487
00:17:43,451 --> 00:17:45,382
Do you know how hard it
is being in a world
488
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:48,865
surrounded by so many boys
that can't handle a woman
489
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,210
who can out drink, out earn
and out fuck them,
490
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:52,451
for the love of god?
491
00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:55,314
Do you know
how many men cannot fuck?
492
00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:57,245
- There's a few.
- No.
493
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,659
- And some can.
- None of them know
494
00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:00,256
how to eat pussy.
I'll tell you that right now.
495
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,556
- See, I beg to differ.
- No.
496
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:03,383
In fact, I would argue
there are one,
497
00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:05,245
maybe two people
in this general vicinity
498
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,901
who can do it with the ferocity
of a fucking tyrannosaurus
499
00:18:07,935 --> 00:18:11,211
no, no.
500
00:18:11,245 --> 00:18:12,901
- Larry.
- Larry.
501
00:18:12,936 --> 00:18:14,867
Can you please,
for the love of god,
502
00:18:14,902 --> 00:18:16,798
give me one more round.
503
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,464
Lahna: I'll be you
504
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:23,798
that if they fuck,
I'll make you a steak dinner.
505
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,453
- Really?
- Yeah.
506
00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:28,591
Wearing nothing but an apron.
507
00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:33,316
Jay: If I lose?
508
00:18:33,351 --> 00:18:36,316
Lahna: Oh, when you lose,
509
00:18:36,351 --> 00:18:38,972
you have to eat my
ass out on this throne.
510
00:18:39,006 --> 00:18:41,351
Jay: Well, why wait? Why don't
I eat it fuckin' right now?
511
00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:42,834
Daddy's hungry.
512
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,213
Ah! Daddy!
513
00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:47,730
Oh!
514
00:18:47,765 --> 00:18:49,972
I can trace it back
every fucking time.
515
00:18:50,006 --> 00:18:53,214
The second they cut their hair,
they cut their worst record!
516
00:18:53,248 --> 00:18:56,283
Ah, it's just such
an absurd claim.
517
00:18:56,317 --> 00:18:59,697
It isn't... it's a fucking
absurdly correct claim.
518
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,007
Is what it is. Okay?
519
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,938
Do you remember that fucking
study I showed you?
520
00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:06,559
- Oh, yeah. The scientist one.
- Yes, the fuckin' scientist one.
521
00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:09,214
The second that they cut
the hair of
522
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,560
a native American person,
they lost, like,
523
00:19:11,594 --> 00:19:13,353
- all sense of intuition.
- Okay.
524
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:14,812
- Like fucking all of it.
- First off.
525
00:19:14,836 --> 00:19:16,663
- And it's really scary.
- First off.
526
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,491
Whatever bullshit fucking blog
you pulled that study off...
527
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,215
- A government study, dude.
- Government.
528
00:19:21,249 --> 00:19:22,743
Has about as much merit as
the fucking Reddit thread.
529
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:24,594
- Okay.
- Second off, second off,
530
00:19:24,629 --> 00:19:27,008
that has absolutely zero
fucking merit when it comes to
531
00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:29,526
talking about somebody's actual
musical ability.
532
00:19:29,561 --> 00:19:31,526
Okay. I'm going to go through
the fucking list.
533
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,837
- Okay, do it.
- Metallica.
534
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,492
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
535
00:19:34,526 --> 00:19:36,906
They cut their hair,
the fuckers release "load."
536
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:40,595
Yeah? Soundgarden.
Cornell cuts his hair off.
537
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:43,699
Opts for the Spencers gift tips
with the frosted spikes,
538
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:45,768
and then the motherfuckers
release "superunknown"!
539
00:19:45,802 --> 00:19:48,734
- What is that?!
- Boom! Boom right there, bitch!
540
00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:50,320
Voids your argument?
Do you know why?
541
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,010
- Why? Tell me why.
- 'Cause "superunknown",
542
00:19:54,045 --> 00:19:55,665
- peak soundgarden.
- Oh, fuckin'...
543
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,848
- Are you kidding me?
- Not one bad track on the album.
544
00:19:57,872 --> 00:19:59,572
Tori: Are you actually going to
stop with the fucking
545
00:19:59,596 --> 00:20:01,251
Jesus Christ pose right now?
546
00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:02,838
What the fuck?!
Are you serious?!
547
00:20:02,872 --> 00:20:04,907
Are you fuckin'...
548
00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:07,286
Are you fucking kidding me?
549
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,563
That's so fuckin' dumb,
so fuckin' dumb.
550
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,218
Let me guess.
551
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,528
You prefer you prefer, uh,
you prefer Van hagar?
552
00:20:14,563 --> 00:20:18,597
"Prefer" is a strong word.
They lost zero appeal
553
00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:20,011
when diamond Dave ducked out.
554
00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:22,632
- Oh! Really?
- Yes, really.
555
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:25,321
Because it's around that time
that they got
556
00:20:25,356 --> 00:20:27,943
rid of their guitar god,
and then replaced him
557
00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,012
with a synth loving clone
of said guitar god.
558
00:20:31,047 --> 00:20:33,322
Alright, get your ass
off the bar, Robbie.
559
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,978
- Oh.
- Hate to break up the party.
560
00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:36,978
I got four little
diaper pissers at home.
561
00:20:37,012 --> 00:20:38,850
They're going to wake me
up in four hours. Let's...
562
00:20:38,874 --> 00:20:40,564
Yes, thank you.
563
00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:42,702
I don't want to listen to this
fucking guy anyway.
564
00:20:42,736 --> 00:20:44,495
- Sweet baby. Jesus.
- Mm, got my card.
565
00:20:44,529 --> 00:20:47,599
Slow your roll, Larry.
Got two more coming my way.
566
00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:50,220
- I'll pour you one.
- Hands behind your back.
567
00:20:50,254 --> 00:20:52,668
- Hands behind my back?
- You're lucky like you.
568
00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,806
Yeah, and you're lucky I don't
have health inspector
569
00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:55,875
shut this shit hole down.
570
00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:58,979
He's right.
571
00:20:59,013 --> 00:21:00,599
Is he right?
572
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,634
- And pour Tori and her new Beau.
- Oh, thanks, man.
573
00:21:04,668 --> 00:21:08,290
One and one for yourself, Larry.
574
00:21:08,324 --> 00:21:10,600
I didn't know
you two were a thing.
575
00:21:10,635 --> 00:21:11,738
- We're not.
- Yet.
576
00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:13,807
Get fucked.
577
00:21:17,773 --> 00:21:19,600
Lahna: Ah, yeah!
578
00:21:45,395 --> 00:21:48,223
Monroe: The wife's back
is with her family.
579
00:21:52,257 --> 00:21:56,257
So that's why I'm spending
Christmas alone.
580
00:21:56,292 --> 00:21:58,602
Unless you count
that fucking mutt
581
00:21:58,637 --> 00:21:59,982
that won't keep its trap shut.
582
00:22:00,016 --> 00:22:01,706
Why do you have a fucking
dog then, man?
583
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:03,672
You think I wanted that thing?
584
00:22:03,707 --> 00:22:06,465
- That's all Donna.
- Okay.
585
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,948
That little son of a whore
is like an angel around her.
586
00:22:08,983 --> 00:22:12,017
But with me, just me,
it won't shut the fuck up
587
00:22:12,052 --> 00:22:14,569
because I won't spoil him,
like Donna does.
588
00:22:14,603 --> 00:22:16,258
Just like with her old man.
589
00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,303
Yeah, I think... I think it
sounds like the dog just
590
00:22:18,327 --> 00:22:20,707
probably needs, like, some
lovin' from daddy Monroe.
591
00:22:20,741 --> 00:22:22,673
- Like.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
592
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:25,639
I think the little bastard needs
his balls clipped.
593
00:22:25,673 --> 00:22:27,604
- Hey, man.
- Sure.
594
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,363
Donna had me get
my balls clipped
595
00:22:29,397 --> 00:22:33,294
- two days after Henry was born.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
596
00:22:33,328 --> 00:22:38,397
You're gonna wake up
a sleeping, junior.
597
00:22:38,432 --> 00:22:41,398
Well, uh, here,
let's have a toast.
598
00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:43,916
I think you've had enough
there, supercuts.
599
00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:45,640
Cheers.
600
00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:48,916
Cheers.
601
00:22:50,709 --> 00:22:54,398
Here, let me, uh, cover
what these kids are drinking.
602
00:22:54,433 --> 00:22:57,571
- Oh, no, no, that's...
- No, hey, hey, hey, hey.
603
00:22:57,605 --> 00:22:58,985
- You...
- Thank you, chief.
604
00:22:59,019 --> 00:23:02,675
- Keep the rest for yourself.
- Thank you.
605
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,951
Monroe: Watch yourself
with that one.
606
00:23:04,986 --> 00:23:06,434
Merry Christmas, sheriff.
607
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,675
Shit, that little punk
motherfucker,
608
00:23:08,710 --> 00:23:10,606
wipe that smirk off...
609
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,537
Mm. That sucked the
fucking Christmas early.
610
00:23:13,572 --> 00:23:16,261
Robbie: God damn, what a sad
fuckin' human being.
611
00:23:16,296 --> 00:23:19,400
Larry: You gonna be
good to drive?
612
00:23:19,435 --> 00:23:20,952
Uh, no.
613
00:23:20,987 --> 00:23:23,400
I drove with Robbie...
I fuckin' walked with Robbie.
614
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:24,849
If I drove you, you'd be fucked.
615
00:23:24,883 --> 00:23:26,652
So much for drinking
every guy under the table.
616
00:23:26,676 --> 00:23:30,711
Excuse me. You've got, like,
at least five pounds on me.
617
00:23:30,745 --> 00:23:32,297
Soaking wet maybe.
618
00:23:32,331 --> 00:23:33,583
Larry: Get her home safe.
Robbie.
619
00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:35,228
What the fuck's that's
supposed to mean?
620
00:23:35,262 --> 00:23:37,262
- It's a big world out there.
- You get home safe.
621
00:23:37,297 --> 00:23:39,401
Better watch for your children.
622
00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:42,712
- I'm just kidding.
- Sounded so threatening.
623
00:23:42,746 --> 00:23:45,195
- Good night.
- Thank you, Larry.
624
00:23:47,746 --> 00:23:50,022
- Ugh.
- Come on.
625
00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:54,505
Lahna: Yes!
626
00:23:55,746 --> 00:23:56,989
Jay: Oh, shit.
627
00:23:57,023 --> 00:23:58,747
Lahna: Not yet.
628
00:23:58,782 --> 00:24:00,299
Jay: It's coming early.
629
00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:01,299
Lahna: Hold it.
No, baby, hold it.
630
00:24:01,333 --> 00:24:03,333
Hold it! You better not!
631
00:24:03,368 --> 00:24:04,713
Fuck! You better not!
632
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,609
Ah!
633
00:24:08,264 --> 00:24:10,437
Like, what did
he arrest you for?
634
00:24:10,471 --> 00:24:12,678
It was fucking...
You were like...
635
00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:14,506
You were like pissing
on a playground.
636
00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,414
I didn't know the kid
was going to show up like that.
637
00:24:16,438 --> 00:24:18,231
Oh, fuck, and the kid
was his grandson.
638
00:24:18,265 --> 00:24:19,610
Yeah, I made him a man.
639
00:24:19,645 --> 00:24:21,241
That's fucked.
You took that away from him.
640
00:24:21,265 --> 00:24:22,817
- I know.
- You took it away him.
641
00:24:41,404 --> 00:24:44,508
Somebody help!
642
00:24:44,542 --> 00:24:45,863
Do you want to keep drinking,
or...?
643
00:24:45,887 --> 00:24:48,991
I mean, yeah.
What are you thinking?
644
00:24:49,025 --> 00:24:50,749
- What am I thinking?
- Yeah.
645
00:25:07,647 --> 00:25:10,405
You can come over
and kill that bottle with me.
646
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,785
- Really?
- Yeah.
647
00:25:11,819 --> 00:25:13,267
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
648
00:25:13,302 --> 00:25:15,234
Come kill the fucking bottle.
649
00:25:15,268 --> 00:25:17,510
I said come over for a drink,
not over for a fuck.
650
00:25:22,682 --> 00:25:25,162
Well, it sounds like someone's
hankering for a little bit of...
651
00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:30,820
- You hear that?
- Hear what?
652
00:25:41,063 --> 00:25:42,442
Yeah, dawg!
653
00:25:42,476 --> 00:25:44,683
Jay hitting that pipe.
654
00:25:44,718 --> 00:25:46,039
Yeah, he's hitting
that fucking pipe.
655
00:25:46,063 --> 00:25:47,476
Speaking of, have you seen it?
656
00:25:47,511 --> 00:25:49,338
Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck.
657
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:51,373
- It's fat.
- Oh, he be gaping that shit
658
00:25:51,407 --> 00:25:52,995
for sure.
659
00:26:05,581 --> 00:26:07,305
How old are you, fuckin' 12?
660
00:26:07,339 --> 00:26:08,798
I can see you smoking
that blunt from here!
661
00:26:08,822 --> 00:26:10,996
- I didn't fuckin' ask...
- I said give it to me!
662
00:26:11,030 --> 00:26:13,685
I need to salvage
this Lincoln log...
663
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,030
- No!
- Before you run it into
664
00:26:16,065 --> 00:26:17,582
the fuckin' ground.
665
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,306
Yeah, I want to fuckin'
salvage this thing.
666
00:26:23,340 --> 00:26:24,903
What are we watching when
we get to yours,
667
00:26:24,927 --> 00:26:26,616
"a Christmas story"?
668
00:26:26,651 --> 00:26:28,420
What is your fucking obsession
with "a Christmas story"?
669
00:26:28,444 --> 00:26:29,800
What's your issue
with "a Christmas story"?
670
00:26:29,824 --> 00:26:31,352
You're the one that
brought it up earlier.
671
00:26:31,376 --> 00:26:32,824
Everyone's obsessed with it.
672
00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:34,455
If you want to watch
a Bob Clark Christmas movie
673
00:26:34,479 --> 00:26:36,962
will watch
fucking "black Christmas."
674
00:26:36,997 --> 00:26:39,479
Oh, that...
That blumhouse joint?
675
00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,962
I'm just going to
drive myself home.
676
00:26:41,997 --> 00:26:43,800
No, no, no. You said we were
going to my car...
677
00:26:43,824 --> 00:26:45,962
If you want to go home
and fucking jerk off
678
00:26:45,997 --> 00:26:48,490
- to fucking blumhouse movies...
- Get your fuckin' ass over here.
679
00:26:48,514 --> 00:26:50,560
Okay, but are you done spewing
garbage out of your fuckin'
680
00:26:50,584 --> 00:26:51,929
- whore mouth?
- Oh, there it is.
681
00:26:51,963 --> 00:26:53,756
There's your fuckin'
Rhode Island accent.
682
00:26:53,791 --> 00:26:55,998
I maybe sound like
I'm from Rhode Island,
683
00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:58,722
but at least I don't have
shit taste in movies,
684
00:26:58,756 --> 00:27:03,273
shit opinions on everything,
and drive a fucking shit car.
685
00:27:03,308 --> 00:27:04,767
Robbie: Uh, excuse me,
this is basically
686
00:27:04,791 --> 00:27:06,239
the same as your fucking car.
687
00:27:06,273 --> 00:27:07,422
Don't say that about her.
She's beautiful.
688
00:27:07,446 --> 00:27:08,999
- Also...
- I get her first.
689
00:27:09,033 --> 00:27:10,699
Robbie: My lady. My lady.
You got to get in on this side.
690
00:27:10,723 --> 00:27:12,481
You haven't got
this fucking car fixed yet?
691
00:27:12,516 --> 00:27:13,861
Robbie: With what you pay me,
692
00:27:13,895 --> 00:27:16,378
you think I can afford
a fucking door?
693
00:27:16,412 --> 00:27:18,240
What are you doing
with your paychecks?
694
00:27:18,274 --> 00:27:19,733
- This is...
- My minimum, my minimum...
695
00:27:19,757 --> 00:27:21,240
That's embarrassing.
696
00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:22,595
Robbie: My minimum
fucking wage paycheck.
697
00:27:22,619 --> 00:27:24,009
Yeah, your minimum
fucking wage paycheck.
698
00:27:24,033 --> 00:27:25,309
- Get it.
- That should be
699
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,275
- a fucking priority.
- Please.
700
00:27:27,310 --> 00:27:28,758
- Wow.
- Lady.
701
00:27:28,793 --> 00:27:31,310
No, I changed my fucking mind.
I changed my mind.
702
00:27:31,344 --> 00:27:32,872
Hop in, hot shot.
We got fucking whiskey waiting.
703
00:27:32,896 --> 00:27:34,448
- Get in.
- Oh, whiskey you say?
704
00:27:34,482 --> 00:27:35,689
- Yes.
- Okay, in that case,
705
00:27:35,724 --> 00:27:37,551
- shut your fucking mouth.
- Oh, this mouth.
706
00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:39,793
This fucking whore mouth
and that devil's tongue, baby.
707
00:27:39,827 --> 00:27:43,517
- Ew, shut the... Robbie.
- Come on, what?
708
00:27:43,551 --> 00:27:44,976
- This is a...
- Get your fuckin' ass in.
709
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,035
Don't touch my fuckin' ass.
710
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,863
She got a bit of a fight in her.
All right.
711
00:27:48,897 --> 00:27:52,311
- Call fucking H.R.
- I'll give you space.
712
00:27:52,345 --> 00:27:53,863
No wonder you don't
get fuckin' laid.
713
00:27:55,621 --> 00:27:57,966
- Look at this.
- What?
714
00:27:58,001 --> 00:27:59,552
No wonder you don't
get fucking laid.
715
00:27:59,587 --> 00:28:01,690
- This is disgusting.
- It adds to the flavor.
716
00:28:01,725 --> 00:28:04,966
Adds to the flavor of what?
A fucking chicken Coop.
717
00:28:05,001 --> 00:28:07,691
This is fucked up.
718
00:28:07,726 --> 00:28:09,840
Some empty cans and bottles.
That's Tori tooms' break?
719
00:28:09,864 --> 00:28:11,726
No, but it's the nail
in the fucking coffin
720
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,484
because this is really bad.
721
00:28:13,519 --> 00:28:15,691
- Come on, baby.
- How do you live like this?
722
00:28:15,726 --> 00:28:17,588
- Let's cowboy up.
- Just take my car.
723
00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:20,346
Just take my fucking card.
724
00:28:20,381 --> 00:28:22,312
You just got to be patient
with her.
725
00:28:22,346 --> 00:28:24,934
I'm gonna lose my buzz.
726
00:28:28,037 --> 00:28:29,830
- Hey!
- Oh, god.
727
00:28:29,865 --> 00:28:32,761
- Jesus.
- Feel that between my pants.
728
00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:34,875
We're going to have to roll this
up the hill ourselves.
729
00:28:34,899 --> 00:28:37,485
- Alright.
- Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ.
730
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,796
I don't feel safe.
What are you... okay.
731
00:28:39,830 --> 00:28:41,727
She's road worthy.
Don't even worry about it.
732
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:45,004
Tori: Okay! Here we go.
733
00:29:08,798 --> 00:29:11,798
Oh, if this guy parks his
fucking ranchero here
734
00:29:11,832 --> 00:29:13,556
one more time,
I'm going to total it,
735
00:29:13,591 --> 00:29:15,556
smash out his fucking windows.
736
00:29:15,591 --> 00:29:17,418
Robbie: Little harsh
to the griswolds.
737
00:29:17,453 --> 00:29:19,050
Tori: No, it's boozin' Benny
down at the bottom of the hill.
738
00:29:19,074 --> 00:29:21,005
- He's a fucking alcoholic.
- Boozin' Benny.
739
00:29:21,039 --> 00:29:22,695
Tori: Just pull up behind
my sister's car.
740
00:29:22,730 --> 00:29:24,316
Robbie: Wait.
Your sister is here?
741
00:29:24,350 --> 00:29:25,878
Tori: Do you not listen
to a fucking thing I say?
742
00:29:25,902 --> 00:29:27,775
Robbie: Well, I mean, I listen,
but I don't retain.
743
00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:29,799
Tori: Yeah, well, I don't want
to retain the stink
744
00:29:29,833 --> 00:29:31,971
from this fucking chicken Coop,
so get out.
745
00:29:32,006 --> 00:29:33,661
Come on, let's go drink.
746
00:29:33,695 --> 00:29:36,385
- Beautiful.
- Oh, Jesus.
747
00:29:36,419 --> 00:29:38,592
- All right, my lady.
- Listen, I really can't...
748
00:29:38,626 --> 00:29:40,799
Please exit your chariot.
749
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,696
I honestly... i'm... whoa.
750
00:29:42,731 --> 00:29:44,662
I'm too drunk for this. Jesus.
751
00:29:44,696 --> 00:29:46,834
Walk carefully, please.
Thank you.
752
00:29:46,869 --> 00:29:49,869
And treat her
with respect and dignity.
753
00:29:55,696 --> 00:29:57,455
Uh, welcome to my humble abode.
754
00:29:57,489 --> 00:29:59,041
Yeah, it's cute. It's uh...
755
00:29:59,076 --> 00:30:01,525
Charming, classy, cute.
I know.
756
00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:03,042
- Yeah, sure.
- Extravagant.
757
00:30:03,077 --> 00:30:04,663
- Rustic.
- Yeah.
758
00:30:04,697 --> 00:30:07,249
Humble. Barn-like.
759
00:30:07,283 --> 00:30:09,732
I really hope we don't take
my sister out because
760
00:30:09,766 --> 00:30:12,594
I don't want to have
to awkwardly introduce you.
761
00:30:12,628 --> 00:30:15,697
Wait, so are we drinking
alone tonight, or what?
762
00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,697
Robbie, do not fucking
listen to me?
763
00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:19,008
They're out cold.
764
00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:20,733
Out cold already?
It's not even midnight.
765
00:30:20,767 --> 00:30:22,985
Plus, my lame ass brother in law
doesn't even drink, so...
766
00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:26,767
Oh, that fucking cunt Mike.
Yeah?
767
00:30:26,802 --> 00:30:29,422
Mr. Hollywood? Yeah.
768
00:30:33,043 --> 00:30:37,353
These goddamn neighbors and
their fucking obnoxious lights.
769
00:30:37,388 --> 00:30:39,837
Hey, Tori.
770
00:30:39,872 --> 00:30:42,837
How much music was there
in "unsolved mysteries"?
771
00:30:42,872 --> 00:30:44,768
- What?
- I mean, like, I don't...
772
00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,537
I don't want to...
I don't want to scare you,
773
00:30:46,561 --> 00:30:49,423
like, in your own home,
but there's like six hours
774
00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:51,055
worth of the
"unsolved mysteries" soundtrack?
775
00:30:51,079 --> 00:30:54,251
What the fuck is your problem
with "unsolved mysteries"?
776
00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:56,354
I mean, like, 30 second intro,
and then, like,
777
00:30:56,389 --> 00:30:57,838
do you need six hours?
778
00:30:57,873 --> 00:30:59,666
Tori: Have you heard it?
779
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:02,804
No, not the entire fucking
expanse of isolated soundtrack.
780
00:31:02,838 --> 00:31:05,700
Oh, well, it is the fucking
creepiest goddamn synth pads
781
00:31:05,735 --> 00:31:08,321
you will ever hear
in your fucking life.
782
00:31:08,355 --> 00:31:10,252
- Mm-hmm. Right.
- They're amazing. Put it on.
783
00:31:10,286 --> 00:31:12,262
Yeah, okay. No, I've already got
something queued up.
784
00:31:12,286 --> 00:31:13,814
No, put it on. I want you to get
like soaked up and like
785
00:31:13,838 --> 00:31:15,021
- immersed in it.
- No, no, no, I'm good.
786
00:31:15,045 --> 00:31:16,805
- I'm good.
- It's so good. Please.
787
00:31:16,839 --> 00:31:18,643
Robbie. All right, fine. At
least I know it won't be "load."
788
00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:21,563
- Oh, I know. I already looked.
- Oh, did you?
789
00:31:21,598 --> 00:31:25,253
Of course.
Oh, come on, Robbie.
790
00:31:25,287 --> 00:31:28,322
"Rhythms from a cosmic sky" is,
like, at least four times...
791
00:31:28,356 --> 00:31:29,908
Oh, you're the worst
fuckin' opinion.
792
00:31:29,943 --> 00:31:31,953
No, everybody knows that.
What are you talking about?
793
00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:33,770
Uh, it's in your collection.
794
00:31:33,805 --> 00:31:34,953
Yeah, because I'm a completist.
Thank you.
795
00:31:34,977 --> 00:31:37,357
- Not for metallica.
- Shut up.
796
00:31:37,392 --> 00:31:40,840
Follow... get that
fucking thing away from me.
797
00:31:40,875 --> 00:31:43,564
Okay.
798
00:31:43,599 --> 00:31:45,909
I'm weirdly turned on by this.
799
00:31:45,944 --> 00:31:48,013
- Really?
- But I need you to stop.
800
00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:08,565
Man: Hey, Freddy.
Buddy, let's not open gifts.
801
00:32:10,324 --> 00:32:11,738
There's absolutely
no fucking way
802
00:32:11,772 --> 00:32:13,024
that you actually think
that "pet sematary 2"
803
00:32:13,048 --> 00:32:14,739
is better than
the fucking first one!
804
00:32:14,773 --> 00:32:17,394
It's twice is good, if not
fucking three times, okay?
805
00:32:17,428 --> 00:32:20,877
It's good. Not better.
Not better. No.
806
00:32:20,911 --> 00:32:23,704
Edward furlong,
Clancy fucking brown.
807
00:32:23,739 --> 00:32:26,635
Who, by the way, chews up
scenery like it's a piece of
808
00:32:26,670 --> 00:32:28,946
fucking gum,
and that soundtrack.
809
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:31,463
They've got 12 tracks
of female fronted
810
00:32:31,497 --> 00:32:35,291
fucking aggressive as hell,
early '90s grunge!
811
00:32:35,326 --> 00:32:37,061
Traci lords has three goddamn
songs on the album,
812
00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:38,809
and they're fucking good,
they're so good.
813
00:32:38,843 --> 00:32:41,291
So, you think it's better
because Traci lords, porn star,
814
00:32:41,326 --> 00:32:45,360
fucking superstar, big titty
Traci lords has, what, like,
815
00:32:45,395 --> 00:32:47,395
fuckin' two tracks on the album.
816
00:32:47,429 --> 00:32:50,602
No, three, by the way,
and better story.
817
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:53,603
Better music, obviously.
Better kills.
818
00:32:53,637 --> 00:32:57,844
Better makeup,
better fucking cast and...
819
00:32:57,879 --> 00:33:01,775
Lord Gwynn aside,
I will say, you got me there.
820
00:33:01,810 --> 00:33:04,361
But Mary lambert, she was
finally given free reign.
821
00:33:04,396 --> 00:33:05,924
- Yeah, that was a mistake.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
822
00:33:05,948 --> 00:33:07,741
- What the fuck are you doing?
- What?
823
00:33:07,775 --> 00:33:10,637
What fucking neanderthal puts
salsa on nachos
824
00:33:10,672 --> 00:33:12,604
- before they cook them?
- Me.
825
00:33:12,638 --> 00:33:15,431
Man: Freddy, put it away
and get to bed.
826
00:33:20,673 --> 00:33:22,742
- "Elm street."
- Part 6, "Freddy's dead."
827
00:33:22,776 --> 00:33:24,673
- Come the fuck on.
- Yeah.
828
00:33:24,707 --> 00:33:26,880
Whoa! Hellraiser?
829
00:33:26,914 --> 00:33:28,569
- "Hell on earth."
- Child's play?
830
00:33:28,604 --> 00:33:30,294
- 2.
- Alien?
831
00:33:30,329 --> 00:33:33,432
- "Covenant."
- oh, no, no, no.
832
00:33:33,467 --> 00:33:35,846
- Yes.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
833
00:33:35,881 --> 00:33:39,777
- okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Okay.
834
00:33:39,812 --> 00:33:41,053
Blair witch?
835
00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:43,570
-Book of motherfucking
shadows", bitch?
836
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,650
It's a fucking classic,
and you're going to watch it,
837
00:33:45,674 --> 00:33:48,777
and you'll... stop.
You'll get it. I promise.
838
00:33:48,812 --> 00:33:50,606
Do you use your little
fucking fingers, like,
839
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,030
typing on the keyboard,
and you're like,
840
00:33:52,054 --> 00:33:53,468
"oh, like Reddit,
Reddit thread."
841
00:33:53,502 --> 00:33:54,951
-Shut the fuck up.
No, no, I am like,
842
00:33:54,985 --> 00:33:56,847
I am a gal with fucking
strong opinions.
843
00:33:56,882 --> 00:33:58,468
And now we're going to take
a shot to
844
00:33:58,502 --> 00:33:59,651
"book of"
motherfuckin' "shadows"
845
00:33:59,675 --> 00:34:01,606
because it's so good.
846
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,537
Ah.
847
00:34:33,332 --> 00:34:34,849
Oh, fuck.
848
00:34:45,918 --> 00:34:47,471
Jesus.
849
00:34:57,540 --> 00:34:59,367
Man: Freddy, that better
not be you.
850
00:34:59,402 --> 00:35:02,023
If you're opening those gifts,
I swear to god.
851
00:35:05,712 --> 00:35:08,575
Hey, you know what happens
if I come down there.
852
00:35:17,299 --> 00:35:18,713
Oh!
853
00:35:18,748 --> 00:35:20,541
Oh, my god.
854
00:35:20,575 --> 00:35:22,679
Robbie: Sorry, sorry.
855
00:35:23,506 --> 00:35:25,818
Fuck it.
856
00:35:27,335 --> 00:35:31,507
Man: Freddy?
Freddy, is that you, buddy?
857
00:35:31,542 --> 00:35:33,990
Said we weren't gonna open
or touch any of these gifts
858
00:35:34,025 --> 00:35:35,783
till Santa got...
859
00:35:40,335 --> 00:35:43,438
Get the fuck out of my house.
I'm calling the cops right now.
860
00:35:43,473 --> 00:35:45,370
Oh, shit!
861
00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:56,715
Wait.
862
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,440
Oh, king shit.
863
00:38:20,585 --> 00:38:22,551
Frankie, what was...
864
00:38:33,827 --> 00:38:35,034
Frankie!
865
00:38:39,897 --> 00:38:42,483
Oh, what the fuck?
866
00:38:44,379 --> 00:38:45,517
That was...
867
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,483
Unexpected.
868
00:38:49,517 --> 00:38:51,862
Too bad find out
about that earlier.
869
00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:54,242
Yeah, it's too bad.
870
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,725
This thing is usda approved
organic prime man meat.
871
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,829
Sorry, are you asking me
to peg you?
872
00:39:12,863 --> 00:39:16,002
I'm not asking.
I'm inviting.
873
00:39:16,037 --> 00:39:18,485
Please, sir, may I have a hit?
874
00:39:25,347 --> 00:39:27,554
No! Pl... aah!
875
00:39:28,761 --> 00:39:31,416
Tori: I'm gonna get some more
whiskey, flip the record.
876
00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:33,865
Come back up.
Don't fucking move.
877
00:39:41,831 --> 00:39:44,555
Boy: Mom?
878
00:39:47,107 --> 00:39:48,865
Mommy?
879
00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,865
You okay?
880
00:39:57,901 --> 00:40:00,004
Santa?
881
00:40:00,039 --> 00:40:01,832
Where's mommy?
882
00:40:06,314 --> 00:40:09,349
Did you bring me
any good presents?
883
00:40:09,383 --> 00:40:11,004
You did!
884
00:40:50,524 --> 00:40:52,800
Oh. Fuck, fuck!
885
00:40:52,835 --> 00:40:54,973
Fuck me.
886
00:40:55,007 --> 00:40:56,766
Damn it.
887
00:40:58,421 --> 00:41:00,042
Jesus.
888
00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:04,731
That's fucked.
889
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,801
Not stupid clothes again.
890
00:41:29,630 --> 00:41:31,664
Why are you so bloody?
891
00:41:32,802 --> 00:41:34,733
Mommy?
892
00:41:38,078 --> 00:41:40,285
Mom!
893
00:41:47,631 --> 00:41:49,665
- Oh, fuck!
- What?
894
00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:51,045
- This guy...
- Tori!
895
00:41:51,079 --> 00:41:53,355
I think he maybe
just killed the kid next door.
896
00:41:53,389 --> 00:41:54,941
What the hell are you
talking about?
897
00:41:54,976 --> 00:41:57,596
Oh, fuck.
898
00:42:03,010 --> 00:42:05,355
Oh, fuck!
899
00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:07,563
Call the fucking cops now.
Come on.
900
00:42:07,597 --> 00:42:10,494
Fuck. Have you seen my phone?
Fuck! Get my phone!
901
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:13,046
- It's upstairs.
- Shit. Is your phone down here?
902
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,735
Robbie, go! Find a phone!
903
00:42:27,426 --> 00:42:29,840
Robbie? He's gone.
904
00:42:29,874 --> 00:42:31,047
Robbie: What?
905
00:42:31,081 --> 00:42:32,736
Robbie, he's fucking gone.
906
00:42:32,771 --> 00:42:34,736
He saw us. The fucker's gonna
come over here.
907
00:42:34,771 --> 00:42:36,023
Find a phone
and get the fuck out.
908
00:42:36,047 --> 00:42:37,805
I have to get my sister.
909
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,564
Liddy, Mike, wake the fuck up.
Get your asses out of bed.
910
00:42:40,598 --> 00:42:42,322
There's no time to explain.
Come on, we...
911
00:42:42,357 --> 00:42:43,816
- Come on. We have to go.
- What is going on?
912
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,461
Uh, uh, where's your phone?
913
00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,565
It's up there.
There weren't any outlets.
914
00:42:47,599 --> 00:42:49,323
Okay. Get out of bed.
Put your shoes on.
915
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,841
Put your shoes on now.
Come on.
916
00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:52,737
Mike, get the fuck up.
I'm trying to help you.
917
00:42:52,772 --> 00:42:54,403
- Alright, alright.
- Does it look like I'm joking?
918
00:42:54,427 --> 00:42:56,392
You fucking idiot!
Get out of bed!
919
00:42:58,737 --> 00:42:59,989
All right, come on, move it.
You should go.
920
00:43:00,013 --> 00:43:02,289
No, you go.
Mike, get the fuck out.
921
00:43:02,323 --> 00:43:03,358
- Alright.
- Go!
922
00:43:03,392 --> 00:43:05,600
Fuck you, go.
923
00:43:05,635 --> 00:43:06,990
Robbie: I have no idea
what the fuck my phone is.
924
00:43:07,014 --> 00:43:08,807
Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
925
00:43:14,083 --> 00:43:16,359
Where are you keys?
926
00:43:16,393 --> 00:43:17,842
I don't know.
927
00:43:17,876 --> 00:43:19,680
I must have left them
in the truck or something.
928
00:43:19,704 --> 00:43:21,438
Well, if they're not in the
fucking truck, where are they?
929
00:43:21,462 --> 00:43:22,981
I don't fucking know, do I?
930
00:43:23,015 --> 00:43:25,026
Liddy, do you have your keys?
Your fucking keys, liddy?
931
00:43:25,050 --> 00:43:27,084
- Where are they?
- Get the keys.
932
00:43:27,119 --> 00:43:28,853
The keys? What do you
want with the fuckin'...
933
00:43:28,877 --> 00:43:30,463
Shut the fuck up, you cunt.
934
00:43:30,498 --> 00:43:32,325
Okay. Do you want me
to get the keys or not?
935
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,474
- Yes.
- Fine. I'll get the keys.
936
00:43:33,498 --> 00:43:35,050
Jesus.
937
00:43:39,636 --> 00:43:41,844
Did anybody see where he went?
938
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,982
Okay.
939
00:43:47,016 --> 00:43:49,499
Okay, okay, okay.
940
00:43:49,533 --> 00:43:51,326
We're going to go
to the basement.
941
00:43:51,361 --> 00:43:53,096
- What if it's in the basement?
- Then we don't have
942
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,361
anywhere to go, do we?
943
00:43:56,395 --> 00:43:57,775
Okay, hang on.
944
00:44:01,431 --> 00:44:02,510
Mike: All right, I got the keys.
945
00:44:02,534 --> 00:44:03,914
- Shh!
- Look, I didn't even
946
00:44:03,948 --> 00:44:05,396
want to come here
in the first...
947
00:44:05,431 --> 00:44:07,052
Shut the fuck up, Mike.
Shut the fuck up.
948
00:45:20,711 --> 00:45:22,607
Get up!
949
00:45:24,090 --> 00:45:26,090
Run!
950
00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,745
Get out!
951
00:45:34,711 --> 00:45:38,022
Tori: Go! Fucking! Go!
952
00:45:40,574 --> 00:45:42,022
Liddy!
953
00:45:42,057 --> 00:45:45,815
Get... fuck! Shit!
954
00:45:46,815 --> 00:45:47,988
No!
955
00:45:48,022 --> 00:45:50,677
No! Please!
956
00:45:50,712 --> 00:45:53,264
No! Please! No!
957
00:46:00,989 --> 00:46:02,851
Hey, hey, you got to get in,
you got to get in,
958
00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,999
you got to get in,
you got to get in,
959
00:46:04,023 --> 00:46:05,644
hey, she's not coming?
Okay.
960
00:46:05,678 --> 00:46:07,413
- I need my sister...
- Listen to me. Listen to me.
961
00:46:07,437 --> 00:46:09,309
Listen to me, listen.
Okay, she's not coming, okay?
962
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,068
You've got to get in the car.
Okay? For me. Please.
963
00:46:11,092 --> 00:46:12,989
Please, please, please,
please, please.
964
00:46:13,023 --> 00:46:14,783
Yeah, okay, come on. Yeah.
965
00:46:14,817 --> 00:46:17,507
Get up, come on.
Just get in there.
966
00:46:17,541 --> 00:46:19,024
Yeah, okay, get in there.
967
00:46:19,059 --> 00:46:20,931
I need liddy here right now.
968
00:46:20,955 --> 00:46:22,059
- I need liddy here.
- Hey.
969
00:46:22,093 --> 00:46:25,610
- Come on, Robbie!
- Come on!
970
00:46:25,645 --> 00:46:28,645
Fuck you! Fuck!
971
00:46:30,990 --> 00:46:33,887
Go, Robbie, come on.
972
00:46:39,508 --> 00:46:41,784
Robbie! Robbie!
973
00:46:44,646 --> 00:46:48,577
- Fuck.
- Oh, fuck!
974
00:46:48,611 --> 00:46:49,853
Are you all right?
975
00:46:49,887 --> 00:46:51,646
- Yeah.
- Okay. Well, we got to...
976
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,795
We got to go. We got to go
because he's gonna come back.
977
00:46:53,819 --> 00:46:55,578
Come on!
978
00:46:55,612 --> 00:46:58,474
- Fuck! It's stuck.
- Try going forward.
979
00:46:58,509 --> 00:46:59,923
Man: What the fuck?!
980
00:46:59,957 --> 00:47:02,371
- Fuck.
- Oh, fuck!
981
00:47:02,405 --> 00:47:04,061
Totaled by fuckin' ranchero!
982
00:47:04,095 --> 00:47:05,543
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
983
00:47:06,612 --> 00:47:07,716
- Come on.
- Fuck!
984
00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:09,371
You fucking cocksuckers!
985
00:47:09,405 --> 00:47:11,302
- Hey.
- B, hey, hey.
986
00:47:11,336 --> 00:47:12,889
Get the fuck out of the car.
987
00:47:12,924 --> 00:47:15,003
Tori: I can't get out of the
fucking car. Listen to me.
988
00:47:15,027 --> 00:47:17,682
What is with this door? Hey,
you two bit fuckin' scumbag,
989
00:47:17,717 --> 00:47:20,303
get the fuck out of the car.
Come on.
990
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:21,855
- Oh, what the fuck?
- Fuck!
991
00:47:21,889 --> 00:47:23,406
Get out of the fucking car!
992
00:47:23,441 --> 00:47:25,038
Oh, look, the paint's
all fucked up, man!
993
00:47:25,062 --> 00:47:27,337
I just got this detailed!
994
00:47:27,372 --> 00:47:30,406
I'm calling the fuckin' cops on
your ass, Tori.
995
00:47:30,441 --> 00:47:31,752
- Hello?
- Go now.
996
00:47:31,787 --> 00:47:33,442
- 246...
- Fuck. He's coming.
997
00:47:33,476 --> 00:47:34,659
He's right there! Hey!
998
00:47:34,683 --> 00:47:36,476
He can't fucking
hear you because...
999
00:47:36,511 --> 00:47:38,821
- Hey, behind you!
- Hey, behind you!
1000
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:41,545
- Behind you!
- No, no, no, no!
1001
00:47:41,580 --> 00:47:42,890
No!
1002
00:47:42,925 --> 00:47:45,063
Stop fucking honking!
1003
00:47:45,097 --> 00:47:46,649
Oh!
1004
00:47:48,580 --> 00:47:49,994
Okay, go.
1005
00:47:50,028 --> 00:47:52,477
Go, come on, let's go!
1006
00:47:52,512 --> 00:47:55,719
Robbie: I'm trying!
1007
00:47:56,857 --> 00:47:58,512
Oh, oh!
1008
00:48:01,995 --> 00:48:04,271
Okay, okay! Fucking drive!
1009
00:48:21,409 --> 00:48:23,375
No! No! No!
1010
00:48:24,065 --> 00:48:25,892
No!
1011
00:48:25,927 --> 00:48:29,100
Fucker! Robbie!
No, fuck off!
1012
00:48:29,135 --> 00:48:30,859
Robbie!
1013
00:48:30,893 --> 00:48:34,376
No! No! Robbie! No!
1014
00:48:34,410 --> 00:48:37,031
Oh, fuck!
1015
00:48:37,066 --> 00:48:39,686
No, Robbie. You got to get up.
1016
00:48:39,721 --> 00:48:42,410
You got to get up right now.
Get up right now, come on!
1017
00:48:42,445 --> 00:48:45,307
Get your ass... get your ass up,
come on!
1018
00:48:45,341 --> 00:48:47,549
Get the fuck up, Robbie!
1019
00:48:47,584 --> 00:48:49,929
Somebody help us!
1020
00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:51,894
Where the fuck is everyone?
1021
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,515
No! Robbie, Robbie,
he's coming back.
1022
00:48:54,549 --> 00:48:56,077
Come on, get up, get up.
1023
00:48:56,101 --> 00:48:58,032
Get it here, Robbie!
1024
00:48:58,067 --> 00:49:00,101
No! Behind you!
1025
00:49:00,136 --> 00:49:02,067
Behind you!
1026
00:49:02,101 --> 00:49:03,860
No!
1027
00:49:03,894 --> 00:49:06,826
Robbie!
1028
00:49:11,481 --> 00:49:13,619
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
1029
00:49:13,654 --> 00:49:15,481
Hide!
1030
00:49:15,516 --> 00:49:16,895
Drop the weapon!
1031
00:49:16,930 --> 00:49:18,757
Now!
1032
00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:19,964
Hey!
1033
00:49:19,999 --> 00:49:21,481
Don't come any closer!
1034
00:49:21,516 --> 00:49:22,688
Kill this motherfucker!
1035
00:49:22,723 --> 00:49:25,965
Drop the weapon now!
1036
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,724
This is officer Danny Davis.
1037
00:49:36,758 --> 00:49:39,000
I got at least three people
down at 246 Chestnut.
1038
00:49:39,034 --> 00:49:42,689
Send back up
and an ambulance immediately.
1039
00:49:47,587 --> 00:49:49,483
It's gonna be okay.
1040
00:49:49,518 --> 00:49:50,794
Don't touch me. Don't touch me!
1041
00:49:50,828 --> 00:49:54,690
It's okay. Help is on the way.
1042
00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:56,449
Help is on the way, okay?
1043
00:49:56,483 --> 00:49:59,414
- Are you sure he's dead?
- Yes. He's dead.
1044
00:49:59,449 --> 00:50:01,587
He's dead.
1045
00:50:01,621 --> 00:50:03,552
He's not getting up.
1046
00:50:05,346 --> 00:50:06,967
I got you.
1047
00:50:09,795 --> 00:50:11,484
Oh, Robbie.
1048
00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:13,588
- I got you.
- Oh, Robbie. Robbie!
1049
00:50:13,622 --> 00:50:15,667
It's okay, it's okay. Don't
look at him. Don't look at him.
1050
00:50:15,691 --> 00:50:19,760
Okay, stay calm.
Help is on the way, alright?
1051
00:50:23,072 --> 00:50:26,761
It's gonna be okay. It's gonna
be fi... watch your head.
1052
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:43,521
Can you tell me what happened?
1053
00:50:43,555 --> 00:50:45,624
- You need to check the store.
- What?
1054
00:50:45,659 --> 00:50:47,521
The toy store.
You need to check the toy store.
1055
00:50:47,555 --> 00:50:49,348
Why?
1056
00:50:49,383 --> 00:50:52,452
Because that thing looks exactly
like the Santa from the store.
1057
00:50:52,486 --> 00:50:54,590
You mean the t.W. Bonkers thing?
1058
00:50:54,624 --> 00:50:56,452
Yeah.
1059
00:50:56,486 --> 00:50:59,038
That fucking guy looks exactly
like the thing from the store.
1060
00:50:59,073 --> 00:51:00,866
I can assure it's not
on the same Santa.
1061
00:51:00,900 --> 00:51:03,005
No, no, that's... I'm saying
that maybe he took
1062
00:51:03,039 --> 00:51:04,798
the fucking suit or something.
1063
00:51:04,832 --> 00:51:07,867
And my friends, my friends were
staying the night there,
1064
00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:10,039
and... and maybe that fucker
killed them and then took
1065
00:51:10,074 --> 00:51:11,532
the fucking suit.
That's what I'm saying.
1066
00:51:11,556 --> 00:51:13,384
He didn't get that
thing anywhere.
1067
00:51:13,418 --> 00:51:14,832
You need to fucking check!
Okay?
1068
00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:16,532
- There's only a few of us, okay?
- I don't fucking care.
1069
00:51:16,556 --> 00:51:18,798
Listen to me. No one's been
fucking listening to me.
1070
00:51:18,832 --> 00:51:20,074
There's only a few of us!
1071
00:51:20,108 --> 00:51:22,075
You need to do
a fucking drive by!
1072
00:51:22,109 --> 00:51:23,947
- More people are gonna die!
- Once everything...
1073
00:51:23,971 --> 00:51:25,947
Once everything is all right,
I can go back and do a check.
1074
00:51:25,971 --> 00:51:27,799
More people are gonna
fucking die!
1075
00:51:27,833 --> 00:51:30,385
Calm down.
1076
00:51:31,419 --> 00:51:33,764
Shoot him! Fucking shoot him!
1077
00:51:42,903 --> 00:51:47,731
Blow his fucking head off,
Davies, now!
1078
00:51:49,662 --> 00:51:50,869
He's done for!
1079
00:51:50,903 --> 00:51:52,834
Ah!
1080
00:51:52,869 --> 00:51:55,076
Davies?
1081
00:51:59,077 --> 00:52:02,801
Davies? Davies, get the fuck up!
1082
00:52:02,835 --> 00:52:06,732
Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot!
Come on!
1083
00:52:06,766 --> 00:52:08,628
Get up!
1084
00:52:08,663 --> 00:52:10,525
Behind you!
1085
00:52:10,559 --> 00:52:13,490
No, no, no, no, no!
1086
00:52:44,768 --> 00:52:46,354
Ho, ho, ho!
1087
00:52:46,389 --> 00:52:48,458
Merry Christmas.
1088
00:52:56,114 --> 00:52:57,907
Okay, okay.
1089
00:52:57,942 --> 00:52:59,355
Okay, okay, okay.
1090
00:53:02,355 --> 00:53:04,907
Hello?
Officer Davis was killed, okay?
1091
00:53:04,942 --> 00:53:06,700
He's fucking dead.
Is anyone there?
1092
00:53:07,976 --> 00:53:09,355
Listen to me.
1093
00:53:09,390 --> 00:53:11,976
The officers going to
246 Chestnut
1094
00:53:12,011 --> 00:53:14,011
need to be fucking careful
because the killer is
1095
00:53:14,045 --> 00:53:16,667
still there, and he looks like
fucking Santa, okay?
1096
00:53:16,701 --> 00:53:17,874
He's in a Santa costume.
1097
00:53:17,908 --> 00:53:20,081
Fuck!
1098
00:53:20,115 --> 00:53:22,805
Oh, fuck.
1099
00:53:22,839 --> 00:53:26,012
Yes, go!
1100
00:53:27,736 --> 00:53:30,839
Hey! Hey!
1101
00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:33,529
Hey!
1102
00:53:33,563 --> 00:53:35,806
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1103
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,506
- Get on the ground!
- No, I've been calling you!
1104
00:53:37,530 --> 00:53:39,806
Don't fuckin' move!
On the ground!
1105
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,875
- Get on the ground!
- Get your hands on your head!
1106
00:53:41,909 --> 00:53:43,402
- I need your help!
- Hands on your head.
1107
00:53:43,426 --> 00:53:44,885
- I need your...
- Get your fucking hands
1108
00:53:44,909 --> 00:53:46,506
- on your head!
- Fine, I'm fucking sorry!
1109
00:53:46,530 --> 00:53:47,989
Officer: Get your hands on
your fucking head!
1110
00:53:48,013 --> 00:53:49,575
- No, no, no, I need your help.
- Where's Davies?
1111
00:53:49,599 --> 00:53:51,702
I need your help.
I need your fucking help, man.
1112
00:53:51,737 --> 00:53:54,462
Where is Davies?
Get your hands behind your back.
1113
00:53:54,496 --> 00:53:56,117
He's dead, he's dead, he's dead.
1114
00:53:56,152 --> 00:53:58,024
- What did you just say?
- He's dead. He's fuckin' dead.
1115
00:53:58,048 --> 00:53:59,472
They're all fucking dead.
1116
00:53:59,496 --> 00:54:00,714
- Bullshit! Where is he!
- He's dead!
1117
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:02,876
I've been trying to
fucking tell you!
1118
00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:04,772
- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything?
1119
00:54:04,807 --> 00:54:06,358
-I didn't do anything
-what did you do?
1120
00:54:06,393 --> 00:54:09,462
I need your fuckin' help!
I need your fuckin' help!
1121
00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:12,428
- Get up, sweetheart. Get up!
- I need... ah!
1122
00:54:12,463 --> 00:54:14,739
He's still there!
1123
00:54:14,773 --> 00:54:16,463
You need help, you need help.
1124
00:54:16,497 --> 00:54:18,773
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
I call the shots!
1125
00:54:18,808 --> 00:54:20,842
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Weston, you get down
1126
00:54:20,877 --> 00:54:23,325
to Chestnut. I'm taking her...
I'm taking you in.
1127
00:54:23,359 --> 00:54:24,715
You can't alone.
You're gonna fuckin' die.
1128
00:54:24,739 --> 00:54:26,359
- Listen.
- You need to call in some...
1129
00:54:26,394 --> 00:54:28,084
- Hey!
- You got to fuckin listen to me.
1130
00:54:28,118 --> 00:54:30,084
You're gonna fucking die.
He killed everybody.
1131
00:54:30,118 --> 00:54:34,809
- You need back up!
- Get in the fuckin' car!
1132
00:54:34,843 --> 00:54:37,636
- You need back up!
- Fuck! Shut the fuck up.
1133
00:54:37,671 --> 00:54:39,130
What do you want to do
with Davies' car?
1134
00:54:39,154 --> 00:54:41,360
Nothing. Don't touch it.
1135
00:54:41,395 --> 00:54:42,878
Fucking crime scene.
1136
00:54:42,912 --> 00:54:44,809
I'll call and have it
towed into the station.
1137
00:54:44,843 --> 00:54:46,981
Alright. Be safe.
1138
00:54:47,016 --> 00:54:49,464
Tori: I need your fucking help.
1139
00:54:49,498 --> 00:54:53,844
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do you fucking job.
1140
00:54:53,879 --> 00:54:57,844
Shut the fuck up!
1141
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:03,361
You can't send him there alone.
1142
00:55:03,396 --> 00:55:06,120
I don't think you're in any
position to tell me what to do.
1143
00:55:06,155 --> 00:55:07,751
You know, you're in a world
of hurt, lady.
1144
00:55:07,775 --> 00:55:09,499
- No fucking...
- You're in a world
1145
00:55:09,534 --> 00:55:11,018
- of fucking shit.
- No fucking idea!
1146
00:55:11,052 --> 00:55:12,787
We caught you covered in blood
and a missing cop...
1147
00:55:12,811 --> 00:55:15,845
Man: Unit 17, Smith, you there?
1148
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,500
Yeah. This is unit 17.
This is Smith. Go ahead.
1149
00:55:18,535 --> 00:55:21,983
Man: This is Lenny.
We just got here.
1150
00:55:22,018 --> 00:55:24,845
It's a massacre, and we haven't
even been inside yet.
1151
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,890
Alright, copy that. Look, don't
make a move, alright?
1152
00:55:26,914 --> 00:55:30,501
Just hang back.
Weston's on his way down there.
1153
00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,053
Any word from renn county?
1154
00:55:32,088 --> 00:55:35,605
Man: Just us right now, sir.
1155
00:55:35,639 --> 00:55:39,605
Any sign of Davies?
1156
00:55:39,639 --> 00:55:41,674
Man: He's dead, sir.
1157
00:55:41,708 --> 00:55:46,467
Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker!
1158
00:55:48,847 --> 00:55:51,571
I just saw you at Reggie's
three goddamn hours ago.
1159
00:55:51,606 --> 00:55:52,847
I don't understand.
1160
00:55:52,882 --> 00:55:54,778
What is there
to fucking understand?
1161
00:55:54,813 --> 00:55:57,364
What I don't understand
is the lax fucking attitude
1162
00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:58,778
when people are fucking dead.
1163
00:55:58,813 --> 00:56:00,640
Look, Tori, we know you didn't
murder anyone,
1164
00:56:00,675 --> 00:56:03,709
but we're having a hard time
believing what you're saying.
1165
00:56:03,744 --> 00:56:06,123
I'm having a hard time
fucking believing it. Okay?
1166
00:56:06,158 --> 00:56:09,055
But I saw it. I saw it
with my own goddamn eyes.
1167
00:56:09,090 --> 00:56:11,021
And my fucking eyes don't lie.
Okay, Monroe?
1168
00:56:11,055 --> 00:56:13,090
Listen, I can smell the weed
and whiskey on you
1169
00:56:13,124 --> 00:56:14,952
- from a mile away.
- Yeah. So fucking what?
1170
00:56:14,986 --> 00:56:17,434
I smoked some weed.
I had some fucking whiskey.
1171
00:56:17,469 --> 00:56:18,755
But that does not
make you hallucinate.
1172
00:56:18,779 --> 00:56:20,434
I promise you. I promise you.
1173
00:56:20,469 --> 00:56:22,710
After what I saw, I'm sober.
I'm sober as a fucking...
1174
00:56:22,745 --> 00:56:24,962
Oh, that's good you're sober.
Well, I hate to break it to you,
1175
00:56:24,986 --> 00:56:26,642
Ms. Tooms,
but it is still illegal.
1176
00:56:26,677 --> 00:56:29,470
Can you shut the fuck up?
Shut the fuck up!
1177
00:56:29,504 --> 00:56:31,780
My sister is dead!
1178
00:56:31,815 --> 00:56:33,435
Okay? My fucking friends
are dead.
1179
00:56:33,470 --> 00:56:34,791
Not that you give
a fuck about him.
1180
00:56:34,815 --> 00:56:36,067
But what are you going
to do about it?
1181
00:56:36,091 --> 00:56:37,608
- What do you...
- Hey! Hey!
1182
00:56:37,642 --> 00:56:39,608
The best goddamn officer
in this precinct is dead.
1183
00:56:39,642 --> 00:56:41,067
Now, if you want to be the one
to tell his widow.
1184
00:56:41,091 --> 00:56:42,929
Oh, fuck. Debbie.
Someone's got to tell Debbie.
1185
00:56:42,953 --> 00:56:44,780
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby.
1186
00:56:44,815 --> 00:56:46,343
We're all getting
a little emotional here.
1187
00:56:46,367 --> 00:56:48,988
Just cut it. Both of yous.
You, sit down.
1188
00:56:50,816 --> 00:56:53,850
Get this fucking
off your fucking desk.
1189
00:56:58,781 --> 00:57:00,954
Have you heard from the boys
down at the scene yet?
1190
00:57:00,988 --> 00:57:02,574
Not since renn county showed up.
1191
00:57:02,609 --> 00:57:04,886
They're still down
there counting bodies.
1192
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,782
Nothing about a killer
Santa claus either.
1193
00:57:07,817 --> 00:57:09,575
Monroe: Well, why don't you
give him a call?
1194
00:57:09,610 --> 00:57:12,817
It's been a little while now.
See if they need any help.
1195
00:57:12,851 --> 00:57:14,368
I think they got it
under control.
1196
00:57:14,403 --> 00:57:16,024
Double check.
1197
00:57:22,437 --> 00:57:24,645
Fuck!
1198
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,852
You need to keep that asshole
away from me, Monroe.
1199
00:57:27,887 --> 00:57:30,576
He's worked with Davies
for over 15 years now.
1200
00:57:30,611 --> 00:57:32,852
We're tight staff. Look around.
1201
00:57:32,887 --> 00:57:35,369
It's been a rough night
for all of us.
1202
00:57:35,404 --> 00:57:36,852
Bear with us.
1203
00:57:36,887 --> 00:57:39,025
We'll do the same.
1204
00:57:39,059 --> 00:57:41,094
Just breathe.
1205
00:57:48,612 --> 00:57:52,508
Okay, I'm going to brew
a fresh pot of coffee.
1206
00:57:52,543 --> 00:57:53,922
There's a bathroom down the hall
1207
00:57:53,957 --> 00:57:56,302
if you want to
clean yourself up some.
1208
00:58:57,891 --> 00:58:59,823
Smith: There is no
fucking back up, man.
1209
00:58:59,857 --> 00:59:02,340
Monroe: Just hold on a second.
Just hold on a second.
1210
00:59:02,374 --> 00:59:03,961
We got to think this out.
1211
00:59:03,995 --> 00:59:05,374
Tori: Oh, shit.
1212
00:59:05,409 --> 00:59:06,616
Have tried the guys from renn?
1213
00:59:06,650 --> 00:59:10,823
Yep, renn, paramedics, Weston.
1214
00:59:10,857 --> 00:59:11,961
Nothing.
1215
00:59:11,995 --> 00:59:13,719
Chp? Anything?
1216
00:59:13,754 --> 00:59:15,340
- Nope.
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
1217
00:59:15,374 --> 00:59:16,937
- What's going on?
- You coming with me or not?
1218
00:59:16,961 --> 00:59:19,444
Tori: Something happen? You guys
can't go back to my house.
1219
00:59:19,479 --> 00:59:21,100
- I told you.
- We're police, Tori.
1220
00:59:21,134 --> 00:59:22,893
- That's what we do.
- Well, no.
1221
00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:24,627
You need to call the fucking
national guard or something.
1222
00:59:24,651 --> 00:59:26,893
He wiped everybody out.
He's going to wipe you out!
1223
00:59:26,927 --> 00:59:28,869
Hey, you know, Monroe,
maybe you should stay here.
1224
00:59:28,893 --> 00:59:30,513
You can, baby sit
the little girl.
1225
00:59:30,548 --> 00:59:31,834
Okay, you know what?
If you don't want to fucking
1226
00:59:31,858 --> 00:59:33,444
listen to me,
you go out there and die.
1227
00:59:33,479 --> 00:59:34,903
Because, quite frankly,
I don't fucking care.
1228
00:59:34,927 --> 00:59:37,583
Tori, we're going to go,
we're gonna lock the door.
1229
00:59:37,618 --> 00:59:39,825
- No, no.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
1230
00:59:39,859 --> 00:59:41,687
What is that?
1231
00:59:41,721 --> 00:59:43,652
Yeah. What the fuck is that?
1232
00:59:47,032 --> 00:59:48,652
That an ambulance?
1233
00:59:48,687 --> 00:59:51,514
Oh, fuck. It's him.
1234
00:59:51,549 --> 00:59:53,032
Oh, Santa claus?
1235
00:59:53,066 --> 00:59:54,663
- Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus.
- Fuckin' Santa claus!
1236
00:59:54,687 --> 00:59:57,377
It's the motherfucker
that killed everybody.
1237
00:59:57,412 --> 00:59:58,964
Okay, okay, uh...
1238
00:59:58,998 --> 01:00:00,757
- Oh, fuck.
- He's not stopping.
1239
01:00:00,791 --> 01:00:02,619
Fuck!
1240
01:00:14,136 --> 01:00:17,344
Fuck! Ah!
1241
01:00:17,378 --> 01:00:19,413
Monroe: Is everyone all right?
1242
01:00:19,447 --> 01:00:21,344
Yeah, I think I'm fine.
1243
01:00:21,378 --> 01:00:25,103
- Tori?
- Uh, yeah.
1244
01:00:28,378 --> 01:00:32,447
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck was that?
1245
01:00:32,482 --> 01:00:36,138
Hey, Tori, take these,
go to the holding room,
1246
01:00:36,173 --> 01:00:37,655
lock yourself in.
1247
01:00:37,690 --> 01:00:39,690
No, no, no!
There's fucking people dead.
1248
01:00:39,724 --> 01:00:41,976
You need to give me a gun. You
need to give me a fucking gun.
1249
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:43,804
- Where the driver?
- You're 38. Give her your 38.
1250
01:00:43,828 --> 01:00:45,483
Are you out
of your fucking mind?
1251
01:00:45,517 --> 01:00:47,557
- Give me your fucking gun.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1252
01:00:47,586 --> 01:00:49,114
Hey, do you even know
how to use that thing?
1253
01:00:49,138 --> 01:00:50,942
Tori: Yeah. You aim is and pull
the fucking trigger.
1254
01:00:50,966 --> 01:00:52,483
Yeah?
1255
01:00:52,517 --> 01:00:54,105
Let's go.
1256
01:01:07,415 --> 01:01:08,898
Cover me.
1257
01:01:18,450 --> 01:01:19,657
Okay. I'm clear.
1258
01:01:19,692 --> 01:01:21,381
Tori, get in there!
1259
01:01:21,416 --> 01:01:23,692
Stay away from the fucking car!
He's in there!
1260
01:01:23,726 --> 01:01:25,726
Do you see anything?
1261
01:01:30,795 --> 01:01:33,831
Something's not right.
Something's not right!
1262
01:01:33,865 --> 01:01:36,107
Yeah, he's not fucking human.
That's what's not right.
1263
01:01:36,141 --> 01:01:37,727
Do you see anything?
1264
01:01:39,624 --> 01:01:42,624
Monroe! Monroe!
1265
01:01:44,693 --> 01:01:46,451
Oh, fuck!
1266
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:49,520
Where are you, motherfucker?!
1267
01:01:49,555 --> 01:01:51,383
Show yourself!
1268
01:01:51,418 --> 01:01:53,694
Get out of here now!
1269
01:01:53,728 --> 01:01:57,935
Come on, motherfucker!
Let me see your face.
1270
01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,383
Hey!
1271
01:02:02,487 --> 01:02:04,004
Come on, fuck you!
1272
01:02:05,970 --> 01:02:08,108
Oh, no, wait!
1273
01:02:08,142 --> 01:02:09,659
No! No!
1274
01:02:09,694 --> 01:02:10,660
Aah!
1275
01:02:10,695 --> 01:02:13,798
Oh, fuck!
1276
01:02:38,696 --> 01:02:41,075
Oh, god. Okay.
1277
01:03:04,766 --> 01:03:07,629
Hello? Oh, fuck!
1278
01:03:07,663 --> 01:03:09,008
Fuck.
1279
01:03:25,629 --> 01:03:29,320
Okay, okay, okay.
1280
01:03:29,906 --> 01:03:30,940
Uh...
1281
01:03:31,906 --> 01:03:33,354
Hello?
1282
01:03:33,733 --> 01:03:35,009
Hello?
1283
01:03:35,044 --> 01:03:37,078
Fuck!
1284
01:03:55,527 --> 01:03:57,872
Hello? Hello, is anyone there?
1285
01:03:57,907 --> 01:03:59,400
Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin'
police station.
1286
01:03:59,424 --> 01:04:00,976
I need your help.
1287
01:04:01,010 --> 01:04:02,941
Hello? Someone fuckin' answer
me, please.
1288
01:04:02,976 --> 01:04:04,735
Fuck!
1289
01:07:06,399 --> 01:07:08,537
Fuck you!
1290
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,710
No! No! No!
1291
01:07:13,744 --> 01:07:17,435
No! No!
1292
01:07:17,469 --> 01:07:20,573
No, no! No!
1293
01:07:42,470 --> 01:07:44,884
Fucking cocksucker!
1294
01:08:07,851 --> 01:08:10,127
Hello? Hello?
Can anybody hear me?
1295
01:08:10,161 --> 01:08:12,885
Everybody's fucking dead!
Please, someone, please!
1296
01:08:17,059 --> 01:08:19,059
Fuck! Okay.
Come on, come on, come on.
1297
01:08:19,093 --> 01:08:21,679
Yes, come on! Come on!
1298
01:08:25,507 --> 01:08:27,403
Yes! Yes!
1299
01:08:27,438 --> 01:08:28,921
Ah!
1300
01:08:52,681 --> 01:08:54,992
Oh, fuck!
1301
01:08:55,026 --> 01:08:56,440
Fuck!
1302
01:08:57,509 --> 01:08:59,130
Fuck you! No!
1303
01:09:14,613 --> 01:09:15,924
Fuck you!
1304
01:09:19,855 --> 01:09:22,096
No! No!
1305
01:09:22,131 --> 01:09:23,889
No!
1306
01:09:25,475 --> 01:09:27,510
What the fuck?! Fuck!
1307
01:09:29,683 --> 01:09:31,476
Fuck you!
1308
01:12:28,451 --> 01:12:29,727
Fuck!
1309
01:12:44,762 --> 01:12:46,004
Fuck!
1310
01:12:46,969 --> 01:12:49,142
Fuck!
1311
01:15:02,045 --> 01:15:04,114
What the fuck?!
1312
01:17:54,123 --> 01:17:55,813
Okay.
1313
01:18:06,469 --> 01:18:09,021
No, no, no, no!
1314
01:18:09,055 --> 01:18:10,607
No!
1315
01:18:42,815 --> 01:18:45,126
Oh, fuck.
1316
01:18:48,574 --> 01:18:50,161
Fuck!
1317
01:18:50,195 --> 01:18:53,436
Come on. Come on.
1318
01:18:56,195 --> 01:18:58,609
Come on! No, no, no!
1319
01:18:58,643 --> 01:19:00,574
Come on!
1320
01:19:00,609 --> 01:19:02,540
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
come on!
1321
01:19:02,574 --> 01:19:07,610
Come on! Fuck you!
1322
01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:13,541
Oh, fuck!
1323
01:19:58,474 --> 01:19:59,991
Oh, fuck!
1324
01:21:03,512 --> 01:21:05,892
No!
1325
01:21:09,202 --> 01:21:11,857
Fuck! No!
1326
01:21:40,583 --> 01:21:42,928
No! No!
1327
01:21:43,790 --> 01:21:46,894
No! No! No!
1328
01:21:46,928 --> 01:21:48,963
Fuck! Fuck!
1329
01:21:51,756 --> 01:21:53,652
Ah! Fuck!
93274
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