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1
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,883
Why are we waiting in line
for food?
2
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,135
It's a pop-up.
3
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,612
It's a rare, pop-up
restaurant thing
4
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,555
that only enters
our solar system... Rick.
5
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,140
You're gonna
spoil your appetite.
6
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,784
That's a weird way to say
I'm gonna stop being hungry
7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,518
by eating food, but whatever.
8
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,061
Three crispy, uh, four wiggling.
9
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,164
You're probably not even hungry.
You just don't like lines
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,648
because they aren't about you.
11
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,292
Another weirdly aggressive way
to describe a friend
12
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,402
- respecting themselves.
- Eugh!
13
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,279
What a wonderful thing to say!
14
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:33,074
Ha ha! I was merely inspired by
the wonderful thing you said!
15
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,075
Sirs? Guys?
16
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,285
You dropped this.
17
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,911
Please, take it as a reward.
18
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,079
So courteous!
19
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,789
How nice it will be for you
to eat
20
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,584
what you were willing to stand
in line for so much sooner.
21
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:43,710
Oh, no, that's okay.
22
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,587
I came to stand in line
and then eat.
23
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,255
I-I wouldn't wanna do it
differently.
24
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:48,423
Hmm...
25
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,300
Dear fellow, I choose
this moment
26
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,219
to surrender my sword
so that you may succeed me
27
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,054
as the newest Knight of the Sun.
28
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,181
What? No.
29
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,891
I-I-I didn't even want
your sandwich.
30
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,017
I don't want your sword.
31
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,226
Oh, believe me, son.
32
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,020
You want it.
I don't understand.
33
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,063
You're knights?
With a "K"?
34
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,357
Of the Sun with a "U"
or... or an "O"?
35
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,651
Your alphabet
is of no concern here.
36
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,404
We are sworn defenders
of Helios,
37
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,323
the center of this system.
38
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,949
Okay,
so it's "Sun" with a "U."
39
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,285
Oh, God.
Morty, don't take the sword.
40
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,287
Oh, I'm shocked you're
against something, Rick.
41
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,705
You know these guys?
42
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,683
I know how they're dressed
and how boring this sounds.
43
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,626
You take that sword,
you're gonna get sucked
44
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,044
into a whole complicated...
45
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,754
Oh, shit!
46
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,297
Come on, take it.
47
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,800
Uh... I mean, if that kid's
not gonna take the sword...
48
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,051
He didn't offer it to you.
49
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:34,761
Sorry. Can I just ask
some stuff?
50
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,387
W-What does
a Knight of the Sun do?
51
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,972
He takes the sword,
for one thing.
52
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,724
You know what?
Maybe you made a bad call.
53
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,035
He... He doesn't want the sword.
54
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,143
I didn't say that.
55
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,496
Well, you sure aren't taking it.
56
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,854
Would you just take a random...
57
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,815
Obviously I would, yes!
And I did!
58
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,233
Best decision of my life!
59
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,484
And you're shitting on it!
60
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,277
Excuse me?
Is this just a free sword?
61
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,779
No!
I'm taking the sword.
62
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,156
Thank you, Dawnling.
What is your name?
63
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,157
Morty.
64
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,660
Now it is Sir Mortaniel.
65
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,620
I made it a little knightier.
66
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:01,830
Good day.
67
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,164
Wait, did he just...
68
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,999
God damn it, Morty!
You took the sword?
69
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,167
So boring!
70
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,752
Oh, like you're not
at this point?
71
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,587
You drunk cranky fuck!
72
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,634
Ouch.
73
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,094
You guys still
gonna stand in line?
74
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,887
Y-You're not gonna
take this food?
75
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,390
The pop-up pays us
to stand here.
76
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,473
To drive up business.
77
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,517
Knew it.
78
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:30,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
79
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,760
Everyone!
80
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,930
Sir Helios' successor,
Sir Mortaniel!
81
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,433
♪ Sir Mortaniel,
face so bright ♪
82
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,227
♪ Serves the Sun with strength
and might ♪
83
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,646
♪ Sir Mortaniel, come and see ♪
84
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,357
♪ Just what the Sun provides
for thee ♪
85
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,901
Wow, my... my own song!
86
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,528
Now you know why Sir Helios
had to change your name
87
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,238
to something
with three syllables.
88
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,866
Welcome, Dawnling, to the Sun!
89
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,744
So it is the Sun,
like Earth's sun?
90
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,579
Ah-ha, he's heard of us!
91
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,706
How come I'm not, like,
burning to a crisp?
92
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,584
You are currently protected
by our powers,
93
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,419
but soon they will be yours.
94
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,588
Our flesh is indestructible!
95
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,799
Our lives are never-ending,
but not even in the dumb
96
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,843
vampire way where after a while
you hate it
97
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:39,928
and you can't die.
98
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,387
We can die whenever we want.
99
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,597
We just don't have to.
100
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,474
But you're not allowed
to leave, right?
101
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,976
L-Like, I'll... I'll...
I'll never see my family again?
102
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,269
We leave constantly!
103
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,687
I met you on an asteroid.
104
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,231
Oh, yeah. Between us,
that wasn't a deal breaker,
105
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:53,983
but it's even better
that there's options.
106
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,111
You'll have more freedom
than you've ever known.
107
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,279
Our king.
108
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,782
The Sun is the center
of the solar system.
109
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,617
It is the home
of the solar Scepter,
110
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,369
around which all worlds revolve.
111
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,456
The men who keep it safe are
admired by all and live as gods.
112
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,958
Any more questions?
113
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,210
Uh, yeah, where do I sign?
114
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,128
Huzzah.
115
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,380
Well, that does it.
116
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,298
Off to the parapet
to make this official.
117
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,925
Yeah, let's do this.
118
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,680
Now just cut off your penises
and throw them into the Sun.
119
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,975
Oooooooookey-do key.
120
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,060
I see Mortaniel wants
to go first.
121
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,144
Uh, not true.
122
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,854
Do I just leave the sword
wherever?
123
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,147
I-Is there a sword bin?
124
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,959
What are you saying?
You don't want to cut off...
125
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,359
Listen, guys, c-can we not...
126
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,069
It's a terrific
and painful sacrifice
127
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,696
we all make
for the most important
128
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,489
and powerful job
in the universe.
129
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,825
We've done it since
the dawn of dawns.
130
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,702
Yep.
There it is in stained glass.
131
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,329
It's official.
A-And I'm not judging it.
132
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,789
And I'm not doing it.
133
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,165
People really live here?
134
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,851
This is nuts.
I thought it was a metaphor.
135
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,335
We have to go.
136
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,671
Ah. Boy.
They're not messing around, huh?
137
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,047
How are you not burning?
138
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,173
Oh, it's just science,
139
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,484
which,
unless I'm misinterpreting,
140
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,010
is clearly not a priority here.
141
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,344
Okay, c'mon, lil' June bug.
142
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,822
I-I won't rub your face
in this one.
143
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,639
I-I'm guessing
you're feeling pretty stupid.
144
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,266
Yes. Thank you.
145
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,852
Sir Helios gave his life
with that sword.
146
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,145
Mortaniel took it.
147
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:15,189
He cannot leave unless
he bests me in combat.
148
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,191
Hmm.
Okay, uh, one sec.
149
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,044
I'm guessing these guys
are, like, pseudo-immortalish
150
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,005
since they live on the Sun,
so playing by their rules
151
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,423
might be the fastest way
out of this.
152
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,823
J-Just best him in combat.
153
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,408
What?
Here.
154
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,428
This sword uses A.I. to learn
from an opponent's attacks.
155
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,911
So I have to get attacked first?
156
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,723
No, no, no, the sword
has already seen "Blade."
157
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,291
And loved it.
You'll be fine.
158
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,796
- By golly!
- Ooh! Crikey!
159
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,761
Okay, so we're done here.
160
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,721
No. We're not done.
161
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,014
I am done.
162
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,682
You are now king of the Sun.
163
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,350
Protect the Scepter always.
164
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,019
No, no, no, no, I don't want to!
165
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,792
Well, how is
that supposed to work?
166
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,526
He's king, but he was never
even a knight.
167
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,795
I mean, that's stupid.
Uh, it's...
168
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,404
It's definitely a...
Sun first.
169
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,530
A king with a penis?
170
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
Well, what do you want from me?!
171
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,117
All hail King Mortaniel!
172
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,327
Uhhhhh, as your king,
173
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,080
I hereby declare a vacation,
for me.
174
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,791
I'll come visit you guys,
on, like, Sun Day...
175
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:15,958
Sundays.
176
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,418
If I forget, just wait a week.
177
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,254
Keep doing that,
keep the crown. Peace.
178
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,259
Hell yeah. See?
179
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,720
That's from when
he's fighting Deacon Frost.
180
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,847
I don't know. Um,
I-I thought it was cool.
181
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,140
Okay. So...
182
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,433
So? Oh.
183
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,102
So, you dragged me
to a fake restaurant,
184
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,496
yelled at me for not
doing what you wanted,
185
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,830
then did something
I told you not to,
186
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,356
and it almost cost you your pud,
187
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,417
but I saved your life,
and now you're waiting for me
188
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:41,752
to make you feel
like shit about it.
189
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,361
That's... Yeah, you nailed it.
190
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,322
Morty, I'm sorry I let your
opinion of me get this low.
191
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,532
All right, I get it.
192
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,158
There's nothing to get.
I'm for real.
193
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,993
Look, I'm a drunk,
I'm a psychopath,
194
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,286
I'm a murderer, but...
195
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,139
when you called me boring...
I shouldn't have.
196
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,706
...I needed to hear it.
197
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,768
And you took the stupid sword,
and I was like, "Holy crap,
198
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,127
this is who I am to this kid?
199
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,890
He just does the opposite
of my advice now.
200
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,421
I mean,
I-I gotta fix that."
201
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,340
So I'm gonna be, like, 22%
202
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:05,842
more agreeable
with you for, like,
203
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,885
maybe one episode,
or one adventure.
204
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,263
We'll see how it goes.
Is 22% a lot?
205
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,532
Well, I-I'm not gonna tell you
206
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,616
what percentage
of our time together
207
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:13,891
I'm usually mean to you
208
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,285
because it'll hurt
your stupid feelings,
209
00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:16,477
but 22% is substantial.
210
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,704
You're gonna feel
the difference.
211
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:21,107
Okay.
I mean, I-I appreciate it.
212
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,127
You should, because you made
a real mess with these guys.
213
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,152
Oh, man!
214
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,319
- Sire.
- You can't leave.
215
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,737
Go away!
216
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,740
My king, it is
our duty to follow you
217
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,742
till the sun sets on our watch.
218
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:35,538
I mean, it set yesterday,
so you're done. Bye.
219
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,666
Sire, the sun never sets
on the Sun.
220
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:39,834
Can you get rid of them?
221
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,836
You want me to...
Well...
222
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,671
You guys know
he can kill you, right?
223
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,840
I think he'd find that
quite difficult, sire,
224
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,341
but if it pleases you.
225
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,428
Can't I just tell you it
pleases me for you to go away?
226
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,637
No. Not really.
227
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,639
So you'd rather die
than leave me alone?
228
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:54,932
Yes.
229
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,101
♪ A pheasant plucked for
my good king ♪
230
00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,104
♪ A merry jig,
sweet songbirds sing ♪
231
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:04,400
These guys live on our sun?
I've never heard of them.
232
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,712
I don't see them doing a lot
to earn interplanetary fame.
233
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,070
I beg your pardon, wizard.
234
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,698
The Knights of the Sun
protect the solar Scepter...
235
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:13,034
around which even
this world turns.
236
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,912
You do mean that,
like, symbolically, right?
237
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,246
Oh, quite literally.
238
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,373
The Scepter is the center
of the solar system.
239
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,708
All planets orbit it.
240
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,210
We keep it on the Sun so that
241
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,545
Jupiter and Saturn
don't bump into each other.
242
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,507
Omigod. They don't even
know sixth grade science.
243
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,842
That's it!
244
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,427
Yeah, so there you have it.
245
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,678
Traditions suck ass,
246
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,906
and your
most foundational beliefs
247
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,097
are total bullshit.
248
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,741
We're supposed to take
your word for it?
249
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,727
Anyone can draw circles
on a board and spout numbers.
250
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,521
Yes, this sounds like
a fun theory, sire,
251
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,666
but it would take more than this
for us to give up...
252
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,776
Okay, so how do you guys
think it works again?
253
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,111
Well, the Scepter...
Oh, you mean this old thing?
254
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,696
Gaaah!
You want it?
255
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,906
Here.
Take it back home.
256
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,658
It's a symbol.
It's your culture.
257
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,284
That's not the same as reality.
258
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,453
Does this mean
we cut off our penises
259
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,247
for absolutely no reason?
260
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,331
That's the bad news.
261
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,918
The good news is, you're free.
262
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,878
- Ooh, that stings.
- Fuck this knights shit.
263
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,338
A query?
264
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:10,549
I just used your "computer
phone" to search "despair."
265
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,760
Where can I get this heroin?
266
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,136
I'm not telling you that.
267
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,156
No matter. I'm seeing
from most of your song lyrics
268
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,682
that I can get it anywhere.
269
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,478
Um, you guys, someone just
used critical thinking
270
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,940
and basic physics to destroy
their first entire religion.
271
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,400
- Nice.
- Good job, Morty.
272
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,610
So no more sun-tour age?
Yep. All done.
273
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,113
Plus, Rick and I both learned
to support each other better.
274
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:34,073
So that's it.
We're done.
275
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,866
Feels early, but w-we're done.
276
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,619
What's happening?
277
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,705
Appliances are breaking
that I haven't touched.
278
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,710
Maybe the sun is...
celebrating?
279
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:49,588
Ha ha ha ha! The Sons of the
Moon are storming the walkway.
280
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,008
Doesn't matter. Their aggression
will be kept in check
281
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,552
by a host of interplanetary
treaties and alliances.
282
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,363
It's very complicated,
but as long as The Knights
283
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,347
of the Sun stand together,
the solar system
284
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,975
will always have
complete political stability.
285
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,286
Where are the Knights
of the Sun,
286
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,562
by the way?
I'm done pooping.
287
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,563
Hmm?
288
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,357
Did the, uh,
Knights of the Sun...
289
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,817
disband?
290
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,736
While I was pooping?
291
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,322
Sunnnn-kward.
292
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,745
How many planets in our
solar system have these clowns?
293
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,955
I guess if the sun can support
life, any planet can.
294
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,416
I mean, maybe we all descended
from a common ancestor.
295
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,543
Haven't you seen, like,
all of the universes?
296
00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:29,229
Exactly. So why would
I hang out on Pluto?
297
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,453
That's some Jerry-league shit.
298
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,275
If the Sons of
the Moon can attack the sun,
299
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,550
why should the Viscounts
300
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,094
of Venus continue sitting
in Saturn's shadow?
301
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,512
How's this for a reason?
302
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,307
We got all the rings
and all the balls.
303
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,850
- Oh, fuck you.
- Really?
304
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:46,062
If the Saturno Venusian détente
is no longer honored,
305
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:49,190
I declare you all
moons of Jupiter.
306
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,733
Because
that's what you are to us!
307
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,026
A bunch of moons!
308
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,944
Do the Knights of the Sun
plan to protect
309
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,613
Mercury from this chaos?
310
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,073
Because if we're on our own,
311
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,117
there's a new,
very tiny sun in town.
312
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,831
It's all you, pal.
313
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,957
Um, hello?
314
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,542
Don't I have, like, authority
315
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,503
over this
Sons of the Moon meeting?
316
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,630
That all depends.
Who the hell are you?
317
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,953
This guy's the king of the Sun.
318
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,716
- Holy shit.
- When did this happen?
319
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,219
Ha! Then tell your knights
to do their jobs.
320
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:22,098
Yes, Your Majesty. We all know
the Sun's power lives
321
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,557
and dies with your knights.
322
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:27,311
Who are you?
Who am... Who...
323
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,188
I am the Marquis of Mars!
324
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,399
And I declare war on all of you!
325
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,192
War on all of you!
326
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,278
Where are the Knights of the Sun
when we need them most?
327
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,488
Funny you should ask, uh...
328
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,865
They're gone!
329
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,076
They've abandoned their duties.
330
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,744
I see it in the bones.
331
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,371
Damn, the bones nailed it.
332
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,790
Okay, so you have space ships
and magic ladies?
333
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,267
Look, I'm not gonna read
all the books.
334
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,584
What will it take to let this
335
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,420
Sons of the Moon fiasco
resolve itself?
336
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,631
Excuse me. How did you become
king of the Sun?
337
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,216
You look like an Earthling.
338
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,843
Santa?
Santa?
339
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,177
What the hell is that?
340
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,138
I'm the Earl of Earth,
god damn it.
341
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,973
I agree with Earth
on one thing...
342
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,017
Venus questions the legitimacy
of this king's authority.
343
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,520
My people say I say aye.
344
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,813
I'm the king.
345
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,481
I've got the Scepter right here.
346
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,858
What the fuck?
347
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,168
Yeah, yeah, I know
you're freaking out
348
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,402
because it's not on the sun.
349
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,446
No, because whoever has it
350
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,281
rules the solar system!
351
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,615
It's up for grabs!
Get it!
352
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,410
After it! Ahhhh!
353
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,036
Yes, yes.
I have the Scepter.
354
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,956
Soon Jupiter will be the center
of our solar system's
355
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,000
newest dark ages.
Fuck that.
356
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,211
Mercury will now be
the shining beacon of...
357
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,714
Time to throw it
all against the wall.
358
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,507
I think you crushed it.
359
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,968
I mean, not just anybody
can start Solar War One.
360
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,137
Stop supporting me.
Can do.
361
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:49,059
♪ Goodbye, blue sky ♪
362
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,313
♪ Goodbye, blue sky ♪
363
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,898
♪ Goodbye ♪
364
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,194
♪ Goodbye ♪
365
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:06,285
♪ Did, did, did, did you see
the frightened ones? ♪
366
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:10,247
♪ Did, did, did, did you hear
the falling bombs? ♪
367
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,459
♪ Did, did, did, did you
ever wonder why ♪
368
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,170
♪ We had to run for shelter
when the promise ♪
369
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:21,425
♪ Of a brave new world unfurled
beneath a clear blue sky? ♪
370
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:29,808
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
371
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:37,983
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
372
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:45,824
♪ Did, did, did, did you see
the frightened ones? ♪
373
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:50,037
♪ Did, did, did, did you hear
the falling bombs? ♪
374
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:55,584
♪ The flames are all long gone,
but the pain lingers on ♪
375
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:03,551
♪ Goodbye, blue sky ♪
376
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,263
♪ Goodbye, blue sky ♪
377
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,973
♪ Goodbye ♪
378
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,269
♪ Goodbye ♪
379
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,625
Damn, who would have thought
giving the Amish nukes
380
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,067
would threaten the solar system?
381
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,902
Maybe we should just
jump universes.
382
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,672
I don't know, buddy.
Feels like we're kind of more
383
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,906
about trying out
commitment now, ya know?
384
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,241
Let's put our heads together.
385
00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,552
Maybe there's something
we haven't tried yet.
386
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:29,994
Oh, here's an idea.
Fuck you!
387
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,537
Hey!
Rick, I can't take it.
388
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,831
I admit I'm wrong, I screwed up.
You're killing me here
389
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:35,082
yes-and'ing me to death.
390
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,209
What is this,
"Vat of Acid" again?
391
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,312
Look, man, I'm sorry I've been
such a dick in the past
392
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:40,838
that you think
I'm doing a thing here.
393
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,591
I'm honestly just trying
to do better by you.
394
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:44,842
Are you a robot?
395
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,260
Morty!
A clone?
396
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,321
Morty, this family's got enough
clones and robots in it.
397
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,073
Come on, Morty, stop asking
what you're asking
398
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,765
and let's just get back
to our crisis.
399
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,643
I'm sorry. It's just been
a hard road with you, Rick.
400
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,204
Morty, I get that,
but you can trust me
401
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,439
when I say I'm just trying
to do right by you.
402
00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:01,233
Okay, Rick.
You're right. Maybe...
403
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,527
maybe I just need
to round up some Knights.
404
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,237
If I disillusioned the old ones,
405
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,947
I'll just have
to re-illusion them.
406
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,824
It shouldn't be that hard,
right?
407
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,500
Cousins, we need to return
to the walkway at once.
408
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,047
Why are you laughing?
Did I say something funny?
409
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,423
Oh, Mortaniel.
410
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,634
The only person we bend
the knee to these days
411
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,177
is that sweet Black Betty.
412
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,804
Yeah, man, all hail
Mr. Brownstone.
413
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,432
And his doctor.
Feelgood, that is.
414
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,809
They're talking about heroin,
Morty. They like it.
415
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,478
Obviously.
Obviously?!
416
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,730
Apparently living on the Sun
has turned our veins
417
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,482
into triple-bonded carbon,
418
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:43,984
so try this tale on for size,
Mortaniel...
419
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,319
we can't OD!
420
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,862
C'mon, you guys are a mess.
421
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,864
Well, they actually
seem kinda awesome, Morty.
422
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,157
Lemme be your king.
423
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,950
I admit, I wanted what you
once had...
424
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,495
Brotherhood, tradition,
stability, purpose.
425
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,039
I just... didn't want to cut
my dick off for it.
426
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,457
Yeah, that's the point.
427
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,292
We were quick to follow
this boy before,
428
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,003
without even forcing him
to commit to our traditions.
429
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:06,340
And all he did was break
our faith and our walkway.
430
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,926
And now this random fucking guy
431
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:11,220
is here again
to tell us what to do?
432
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,514
No fucking way!
433
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:16,308
What if I cut off my dick?
434
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,644
But you'd be cutting it off
for no reason.
435
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,354
Yeah, that's the point
of tradition...
436
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,980
Doing things for no reason,
437
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,234
but it'd be reason enough
doing it for you guys.
438
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,737
Well, you do that,
that would compete with heroin.
439
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,699
Cool, cool. Can
I maybe get a minute?
440
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,034
Buddy, what's up?
441
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,412
Reaching some sad conclusions
about your situation?
442
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,372
Yes, but that walkway needs
those knights,
443
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:41,250
those knights need a king,
and that king needs no dick.
444
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,711
Damn, Morty, you really
are stepping up.
445
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,379
Now do you want me to help you
446
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,773
not have to cut
your dick off, though?
447
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,716
Yes, please.
Then I got you.
448
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,050
Uh, you really mean it, Rick?
449
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,052
Of course, buddy.
I'll give you a fake dick
450
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,554
with three layers of fail-safes.
451
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,055
They'll never know
the difference.
452
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,640
Shh, Morty.
453
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,309
We're gonna make your dick
so fake, buddy.
454
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,361
The signal! Sir, the Knights
of the Sun are once more.
455
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,529
Hold fire.
456
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,406
If this return to the Old Ways
is true,
457
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:16,076
I'd be willing to return home
and put an end to the bloodshed.
458
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,426
Sir? Shall we hold off on the
antimatter hydrogen bombing?
459
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:35,095
Those crusty
knights won't do the Sun
460
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,430
much good without their...
461
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,931
Hoo!
462
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,683
Let's hear them out.
463
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,730
I, Lithdor, son of Thrifdor,
personally oversee
464
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,940
the stumping of thy king's stem.
465
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,942
If his stem burns true,
466
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,278
peace will be restored
between the spheres.
467
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,156
Yay!
468
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:58,452
Present the Shears of Stumping!
469
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,371
- Morty the Brave!
- You got this, my king!
470
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,752
First things first.
Step through this machine
471
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,587
which checks for
nanotechnological
472
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,130
hologram dicks.
What?!
473
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,342
War opened our eyes to
the wonders of new technologies.
474
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,719
Please, step through, my liege.
475
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,435
Whew!
476
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,038
Sorry, my lord,
but we're gonna need you
477
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,772
to step through
this second machine,
478
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:29,316
which checks
for emergency clone dicks.
479
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,984
Oh, wow, you guys
really embraced
480
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,320
a lot of specific new tech, huh?
481
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,322
Whoa, a sunspot!
What? Where?
482
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:41,286
Boy, is... is that a
third detector I see, as well?
483
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,205
You'll find out after
the second one.
484
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,748
We don't like to reveal them
485
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,209
until the previous detecting
threshold has been crossed.
486
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,837
Right.
487
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,257
The third detector is going
to scan for a prosthetic dick.
488
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,842
Oh. Ha ha. Good.
489
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,206
Okay, well, go on through,
and, of course, by "prosthetic"
490
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,513
we mean witchcraft dick.
491
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,682
- Shit.
- I sense one.
492
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,393
The bones say
he's still packin'.
493
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,563
Ha ha, can't get nothin'
494
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,939
past the chicken bone lady.
495
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,858
J-Just testing her.
496
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:14,194
Stump. Thy. Stem.
497
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,947
Morty?
Morty, don't answer out loud.
498
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,658
Can you hear me? It's Rick. I'm
talking to you with my mind.
499
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:20,868
Yeah, I can hear you.
500
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,262
You said that out loud.
Don't speak.
501
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,537
Sorry.
Sorry.
502
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,289
I up linked a telepathic
nano satellite
503
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,766
so we could hear
each other's thoughts.
504
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,542
Carefully do everything
I tell you
505
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,711
in the exact order
I tell you to do it.
506
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,713
Okay.
Grab the scissors.
507
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,965
Okay.
Got the scissors.
508
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,216
Now... run!
509
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,300
Oh, shit, shit!
510
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,802
Guards, seize them!
511
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,512
Run? You
couldn't have just said that?!
512
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,306
You don't have to use
telepathy anymore.
513
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,284
You can just ask your
rhetorical questions out loud.
514
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,642
I don't understand, Rick.
515
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,537
Here's something that's easy
to understand, buddy...
516
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,147
I'm proud of you for trying
to solve your own shit.
517
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,708
Ugh, I didn't want
to have to do this.
518
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,943
It's okay this time.
We don't have any choice.
519
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,111
I love you, Rick.
520
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,155
Love you, too, buddy.
521
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,659
Whoooooaaa!
522
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,620
And that's when
King Morty and Rick
523
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,414
were left with no choice
but to leap into the Sun.
524
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,584
Such shame he felt for what
he'd done to our society,
525
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,502
sacrificing his dick
wasn't enough...
526
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:16,173
He gave his entire body
and wizard servant, as well.
527
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,550
And after a while,
their sun-proof bones
528
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,010
floated up to the top.
529
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:21,762
We even checked with
a royal ladle
530
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,221
to ensure it was real sun,
531
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,141
not just them hiding beneath
in a vat of fake sun.
532
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:27,935
Such a violent death.
533
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,479
And finally when our grief
could bear no more,
534
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:34,274
we decided to abolish our
medieval act of stem stumping.
535
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,526
And we have
King Morty the Molten
536
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,945
to thank for that.
537
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,237
Morty the Molten!
538
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,948
King Morty the Molten!
539
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,699
See, Morty?
Worked like a charm.
540
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,868
Aren't we risking it
all coming back here?
541
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,578
Morty, we had to know.
Plus the heat...
542
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,289
- It's good for my joints.
- King Mortaniel?!
543
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,415
You're alive?!
544
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,708
Yeah, go tell everybody.
545
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,252
Your reward's gonna be
cutting off your own dick.
546
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,088
Right.
Point taken.
547
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,924
R.I.P. and cheerio.
548
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,343
Whew!
549
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:35,210
One crispy, one wriggling.
550
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,293
Coming right up.
551
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,337
Three loozums.
552
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,839
How 'bout ten years?
553
00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:39,922
In jail.
554
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,758
Huh?
Special Agent Mongo Bongo.
555
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,886
You're under arrest for
illegal hot dog trafficking.
556
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,388
Oh!
557
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:01,778
Be free, my little babies.
558
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,697
Ahh!
559
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,241
Huh.
Surprised they actually made it.
560
00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:08,702
Kinda thought maybe some birds
would swoop down...
561
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,203
Aaahhhhh! Aah!
562
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,664
I jinxed it. Aah!
563
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,792
Did you get any of that?
563
00:22:16,305 --> 00:23:16,699
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