Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:09,860
All right, Donna put your chair here.
I wanna get Steven's attention,
2
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:14,740
and with you next to me I'll look
like a tiny porcelain doll.
3
00:00:14,740 --> 00:00:18,580
Y'know Jackie, some people actually
find me to be of normal height.
4
00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:22,300
Sure if they're green and jolly.
- I can't take it.
5
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:27,180
Watching Donna lie out, knowing she's gonna
go to college and I have to stay here,
6
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,100
She's so, so...
7
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,940
Juicy.
8
00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:35,820
My Juicy.
9
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:39,660
Well I'm not gonna stay here locked in
the house just cause Jackie looks...
10
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:43,500
ridiculously hot in
that bathing suit.
11
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:48,220
- Later Forman.
- Bye bye juicy.
12
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:52,140
Ladies. Ladies bodies.
13
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:56,900
I wish someone would rub lotion on my
shoulders. Think they're getting a little red.
14
00:00:56,940 --> 00:01:02,940
Yeah, you should be careful.
Looks like you're starting to scab.
15
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:08,420
Oh, that's a burn about a burn.
That's a second degree burn!
16
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:11,300
Y'know Jackie,
I think maybe Hyde's moved on.
17
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:15,140
No, no, no. You don't just move
on from Jackie Burkhardt.
18
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:18,980
I'm like the bottle, you need a twelve
step program to break my spell.
19
00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:24,740
Okay ladies. All these sound waves
are interfering with my sunrays.
20
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:26,660
Let's tan.
21
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:28,580
Alright, I'm gonna need you to
lotion me up, darling,
22
00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:33,380
but only rub where you
can see. No roaming!
23
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:20,660
Hey, Mom, Dad,
I have something I wanna tell you.
24
00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:25,460
I've decided not to move away.
- What?
25
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:29,820
I'm gonna stay and put off
college for just a little while
26
00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:35,060
or at least until you're well enough to go back
to work. - My baby, my baby, my baby.
27
00:02:35,060 --> 00:02:40,740
Mom okay, this is actually kind of embarrassing.
You're actually really hurting me, yeah.
28
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:44,660
You mean I've been waiting eighteen years
for you to get your butt out of this house,
29
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:47,540
and now you're staying?
30
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:52,340
I signed over my pay check to you.
I want you to go buy yourself something pretty.
31
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:56,180
Or I don't know...
electricity.
32
00:02:56,180 --> 00:03:00,020
Oh honey, thank you.
33
00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:06,020
Red it wouldn't kill you to thank him.
- It might I just had a heart attack.
34
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:10,460
Speaking of which,
I just found this in the garbage.
35
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:14,380
Why would you throw away the list of all the food
the doctor said we couldn't have in the house?
36
00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:16,300
Kitty did you look at that list?
37
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,180
If I had known what I was coming
home to after my heart attack,
38
00:03:19,180 --> 00:03:23,980
I would've walked straight into that
bright light and never looked back.
39
00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:29,740
Oh come on,
it can't be that bad.
40
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:35,500
I'll do it with you. Cause what's good for
the goose, is good for the gander.
41
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:39,500
Actually, Mom,
Dad's the gander.
42
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:45,260
The male goose. So it would be what's good
for the gander is good for the goose.
43
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:52,740
Let's take a gander at what
you're giving up with the gander.
44
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,580
That's how you do that.
45
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:58,500
Potato chips, other salty snacks.
46
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,380
Good advice, that doctor obviously
knows what he's talking about.
47
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:05,180
Butter, heavy cream, cheese.
- Gone, makes a lot of sense.
48
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,860
Alcoholic beverages.
- Okay, that doctor's a quack.
49
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:18,580
God, it's gonna be so hard
going off to college without you.
50
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,540
But we'll see each other
on the weekends right?
51
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,460
Well you say that now,
but then there's that weekend
52
00:04:22,460 --> 00:04:24,380
when you call home and
say you have to study
53
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:29,180
but I here Moose, the place kicker in the background,
asking if you want another shot of tequila.
54
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:32,060
Eric, that would never happen.
55
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:36,460
I would never date a place kicker,
it's Quarterback or nothing for me.
56
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:43,580
The more I think about
leaving you, the sadder I get.
57
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,860
And the sadder I get,
the more I wanna be with you.
58
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:52,140
Right now.
- Now?
59
00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:54,140
Well yeah, I...
60
00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:57,020
Whoa, alright this is great, it'll be like
completely spontaneous, like I just...
61
00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:00,060
Why are you talking?
- I'm sorry, I...
62
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:11,260
So it turns out that going away sex
is even hotter than make up sex.
63
00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:15,220
It's like these chips, they say now
even crunchier, and you're thinking,
64
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:18,620
oh man there is no way,
but then you take a bite
65
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:22,860
and it is crunchier.
66
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:27,260
Dude if something's crunchy,
you should really have that looked at.
67
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:33,460
There's no time my friend, I have
a distraught neighbour girl to attend to.
68
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:37,260
Dry your eyes baby,
the lovin's on its way!
69
00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:46,780
Toe ring.
- Oh, Fez you like?
70
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:52,060
Yeah, got a toe ring.
- On the little piggy that went to the market.
71
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:59,260
Steven what do you think?
- Can't resist toe ring.
72
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,500
Whatever.
73
00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:07,980
I have all sorts of things now that
I didn't have when we were going out.
74
00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:13,660
Toe ring, tan lines, a tattoo.
- You don't have a tattoo, you're bluffing.
75
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:16,540
Do you have a tattoo?
76
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:20,340
Well we're not going out,
so I guess you'll never know.
77
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:26,060
I think I'm gonna stop wearing
them all together. See ya.
78
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:29,060
Look at you watching her,
you love her, man.
79
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:33,260
"Oh, baby, I love you so much."
80
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:43,260
Were you doing Jackie?
- Yes, yes.
81
00:06:48,260 --> 00:06:53,060
Why am I even thinking about her?
Man, she's like Tahiti.
82
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:56,820
It's warm and it's beautiful and you wanna go there,
but when you do you get bit by a mosquito
83
00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,620
and you get malaria and you're
sick for the rest of your life.
84
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:05,500
She's obviously not over you either. She's
practically putting on a show to get your attention.
85
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,060
Just imagine it.
86
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:55,660
I love to dance.
87
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,380
Okay the doctor wins.
88
00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:06,820
Eric and I boxed up all the liquor.
89
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:11,060
Man, look at all this,
it's like Dean Martin exploded.
90
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,580
There were bottles in the liquor
cabinet, the dining room hutch,
91
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:17,380
my Mom's nightstand.
92
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:22,060
Oh no, no, that's for polishing furniture.
- Mom, there's lipstick on it.
93
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:26,100
It's just your luck Forman.
You're about to turn eighteen
94
00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:29,820
and there's gonna be no
hooch left in the house to steal.
95
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:34,220
I mean avoid.
Do homework next to.
96
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:38,860
Pray near.
Come on!
97
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:46,140
Yeah, it's gonna be pretty boring around here.
You know what you should do? Go to college.
98
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:50,060
Mom would it be too much to ask for
Dad to be grateful that I'm staying?
99
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,940
Honey, we're all going
through hard times.
100
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:57,260
You're giving up your future,
I'm giving up my Schnapps.
101
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:04,460
Let's not compare our pain.
102
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:12,580
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Donna was really upset about leaving,
103
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:16,900
so I had to comfort her
in a bedular way.
104
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:22,340
It turns out if I get her sad, she gives it
away like goldfish at a freakin' carnival.
105
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:26,500
Eric, I think you may have found
a secret open sesame to sex.
106
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:30,260
Make the lady cry.
107
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:33,140
Perhaps I should try
that with my wife.
108
00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:36,580
"Laurie here's a dead cat,
now do me."
109
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:40,780
A little history Fez, I think
Laurie has a lot of open sesames.
110
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:46,060
Like, "Hi, Laurie".
That usually does it.
111
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:51,020
Actually I only ever got as far as 'Hi'.
112
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:54,620
Fez, I did it with your wife!
113
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,180
God I have so much power
over Donna now, it's like
114
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,900
I know how
Obi-Wan Kenobi feels.
115
00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,860
"These aren't the droidsyou're looking for."
116
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:09,500
Man, I wish I could do it with
Donna in a land speeder on.
117
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:11,740
That would be so awesome.
118
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:18,220
Hey, Steven, check out
my new super sexy tattoo.
119
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:22,300
Hard to keep your hands off, huh?
120
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:25,860
Steven!
121
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:29,540
Sorry, here's your tattoo back.
122
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:34,500
I'll take that.
- Steven, why are you being so difficult?
123
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:39,300
Jackie, no amount of tattoos or toe rings, are
gonna fix the fact that you have a lot to apologise for.
124
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:43,140
You're the one who should apologise.
- Then I guess we're not getting back together.
125
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:47,940
I guess we're not. Oh, and by the way,
you don't deserve a real tattoo.
126
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:53,260
But if I were to get one, I'd show it
to Fez before I'd ever show it to you.
127
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:58,660
I hope she gets it on her hienie.
128
00:11:09,110 --> 00:11:13,110
Jackie, it really bugs me that you
and Hyde aren't back together,
129
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:17,510
so as the man who used
to pleasure you endlessly,
130
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:22,470
I feel it is my obligation
to step in and fix this,
131
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:28,150
cause when I'm a cop I'm gonna have to
deal with domestic cases like this all the time.
132
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:31,110
And the good news is,
he'll have guns.
133
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,990
Yeah, this is gonna be a piece of cake.
134
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,830
Y'know they should have put
me in charge of Vietnam,
135
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:39,910
I would have had those
people making out in a week.
136
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:45,750
Wow, Donna, that might be the last time
137
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:50,070
you'll ever get to see Kelso make
an even bigger mess of a problem.
138
00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:54,390
Yeah I'm gonna miss that.
139
00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,910
And I'm gonna miss you.
- Well I'm not gonna miss you two
140
00:11:56,990 --> 00:12:01,590
slobbering all over each other like
fat girls in a house with free meat.
141
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:09,390
And that might be the last time that
Jackie ever makes fun of us,
142
00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:13,310
fat girls, and meat.
143
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,790
Yeah...
144
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:24,710
What? - Nothing,
it just could be the last time
145
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:27,670
that you and I stand
beside the Vista Cruiser.
146
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:32,550
I just waxed her she's
all slippy slidy.
147
00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:41,110
Donna this might be the last time
I bring you your toothbrush.
148
00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,990
That's not my toothbrush.
149
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:48,950
Might be the last time...
I bring you the wrong toothbrush.
150
00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,350
Hello, darling.
151
00:12:58,430 --> 00:13:02,030
I see you are washing
your unmentionables.
152
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:05,870
Yeah, do you know what gets
out grass stains and Kailua?
153
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,950
Anyways...
154
00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:11,830
I was thinking how sad you must be
considering the mess you made of your life.
155
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:16,670
With all that sadness,
do you not also get needy?
156
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,750
Y'know, I sorta do.
- Ali Baba, the treasure is mine!
157
00:13:22,430 --> 00:13:26,430
I'm gonna go see
if Carlos is home.
158
00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:31,350
That Carlos is one lucky SOB
to have a wife like mine.
159
00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:39,630
Look, Hyde, I know you don't
wanna tell Jackie that you're sorry,
160
00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:43,430
but there's gotta some things that
you did, that you wish you hadn't done.
161
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:47,270
Like that time that you told me to eat that
stuff, and I didn't know what it was,
162
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:50,150
and then you licked your lips,
and you rubbed you stomach
163
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,990
and you were like
'Mmm it's really good Kelso'
164
00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:58,910
and then I ate it and then
I wished I hadn't of done that.
165
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:06,470
Yeah, well, maybe with Jackie I was
sort of impetuous and maybe a little rash.
166
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:09,350
Now see, that's something
that Jackie oughta know.
167
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:14,150
Hyde say's that he was sort of
infectious and he has a rash.
168
00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:18,230
What?
- I'm just telling you what he said.
169
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:22,750
All right, look, Michael, Steven's the one
who messed up the relationship.
170
00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:24,750
He thought you and I were together
but he was just wrong.
171
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:30,350
He fabricated the whole mess.
- Well somebody ought to make that clear.
172
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:35,310
Jackie wants you to know that there was a
mess 'cause she was wearing the wrong fabric.
173
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:42,150
That can't be what she said.
- It's word for word, man.
174
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,830
Kelso, would you get outta here?
- What, I'm helping.
175
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:47,710
You're making me wanna
kick your ass.
176
00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:50,950
That better be the rash talking.
177
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:11,670
Busted, mister.
- You're like a damn cat.
178
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:14,950
I'm gonna make you wear a bell.
179
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:18,390
Bad health in a can,
that's what that is.
180
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:21,270
The doctor said he wants nothing like
that around here, and I agree.
181
00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:25,190
All it takes is a little bit
of will power, Red.
182
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,430
Even though you used to do
something without thinking,
183
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:31,510
you just have to grab a hold
of those thoughts.
184
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:37,830
Can I get you a refill there?
185
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:48,110
Well there's a lesson for you.
186
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:50,950
You're welcome.
187
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:57,150
Oh hey, listen, son.
188
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:04,550
It means a lot to your mother, you
staying here and helping out the family.
189
00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:08,350
And as for me I...
190
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:19,350
There. Doctor said I should
write down my feelings.
191
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:25,550
Are you actually thanking me?
192
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:29,950
This is a list of yard work.
193
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:36,710
Yeah, the lawn thanks you for all
that mowing you're gonna do.
194
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,870
You're welcome, Dad.
- Yeah, well.
195
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:44,630
All right, we're both men here.
196
00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:51,430
Oh, God.
- What's wrong?
197
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:55,510
Nothing it's just this could
be the last time that...
198
00:16:58,190 --> 00:17:02,830
you and I watch Gilligan get hit
on the head by the Skipper.
199
00:17:02,990 --> 00:17:05,790
Eric, the more we talk about me
going away, the sadder you get.
200
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:08,670
And being with you so much
lately has been great, but
201
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:13,950
afterwards� well you always used
to look a little bit ashamed
202
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:17,310
and I mean now you
just seem depressed.
203
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:22,950
Oh no, no, I'm not depressed,
Donna, you are depressed.
204
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:31,710
Okay, let's do this.
205
00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:36,430
All this last time stuff, have you
been saying that just for sex?
206
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:39,790
What? Have I... what?
207
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:48,550
This is not the one
you're angry with.
208
00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:54,150
You're disgusting.
209
00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:59,750
That might be the last time we fight over
you trying to get me to have sex with you.
210
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:07,190
Y'know Fez, this whole thing with
Hyde and Jackie is stupid.
211
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:09,190
They both wanna be together,
and they would in a second
212
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:12,470
f they just thought that other
one had said I'm sorry.
213
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,830
Eureka, Fez, Eureka!
214
00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:18,990
I'm one step ahead of you my friend.
- Yeah I'll just lie to both of them,
215
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:24,270
and tell them the other one said I'm sorry.
- I thought we were going to pan for gold.
216
00:18:28,350 --> 00:18:32,350
Okay, here we go,
let's make up.
217
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,070
All right, look, Steven,
I heard what you said.
218
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:38,750
Yeah, I heard what... wait a minute,
you heard what I said?
219
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:42,670
Yeah, Michael told me,
and just so you know I'm sorry too.
220
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,590
Too?
221
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:49,270
No, you're not sorry too,
you're sorry one, I'm sorry too.
222
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,950
Wait, what, no Michael said that...
- Yeah, he said that...
223
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:58,830
I did my work, you two gotta
clean this mess up yourselves.
224
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:01,830
So nothing's changed then?
- Guess no.
225
00:19:01,910 --> 00:19:03,750
Forget this.
- Okay, enough.
226
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:06,630
Look, you guys, who
cares who apologised first?
227
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:10,310
Jackie obviously wants to be with you,
and you're here which means
228
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,390
that you wanna be with
her and I don't blame you,
229
00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,670
cause with that rash you ain't
got a whole lotta choices.
230
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:21,190
All right, look, Steven,
do you wanna be with me?
231
00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:26,790
No, no a shrug's not gonna cut it.
Steven, I need you to say something.
232
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:29,750
All right, look, I'll even go first.
233
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:34,390
Steven I wanna be with you.
And you...
234
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:36,390
I...
235
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:39,190
Can you hang on a second?
236
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:42,030
Would you get outta here?
237
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:46,550
If you want me to leave, all you have
to do is say please. - Fine, please.
238
00:19:46,990 --> 00:19:50,190
That's better.
239
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,590
Jackie, I do wanna be with you.
240
00:19:54,670 --> 00:19:59,350
Because you love...
- Don't push it.
241
00:20:04,090 --> 00:20:08,690
Okay, Steven, where's your beer?
- What? Me, beer?
242
00:20:08,890 --> 00:20:11,770
Kitty threw away all my beer,
the Packers are down by 11,
243
00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:16,450
you're 18, I know you have beer,
so where's your beer?
244
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,290
I don't want used beer.
245
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:23,650
Well, I might have a couple
of fresh ones in the shower.
246
00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:30,050
Yeah, I'm running low,
I should probably hit the store.
22043
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.