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1
00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:04,395
[Sleigh Rideplaying
on car radio]
2
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:10,793
♪
3
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,581
[Trudie]
I'M NOT CRAZY.
4
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,844
I'M A LONG WAY FROM CRAZY.
5
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,110
DOING ONE CRAZY THING
DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON CRAZY.
6
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,895
THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT
THIS ISN'T HOW I EXPECTED
7
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,158
TO BE SPENDING MY CHRISTMAS.
8
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,160
AND I'M SURE IT'S NOT HOW
DAVID MARTIN PLANNED
9
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,814
ON SPENDING HIS.
10
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:35,209
SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING
FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR?
11
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,428
AND YOU'VE GONE EXACTLY
12
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,604
1.8 MILES.
13
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,042
THE NEAREST GAS STATION
IS 20 MILES AWAY.
14
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,478
YOU DO THE MATH.
15
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:46,916
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
COME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
16
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,049
WE'LL MAKE SOME
HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY?
17
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,494
♪ OUR CHEEKS
ARE NICE AND ROSY ♪
18
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,235
ARE YOU OKAY?
19
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:03,976
NOTHING SMART TO SAY?
20
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,674
IS YOUR FACE FROZEN?
21
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,329
YOU...
22
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,766
ARE...
23
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,595
THE DEVIL.
24
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:14,857
♪ IT'S LOVELY WEATHER
25
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:18,121
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER
WITH YOU ♪
26
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:25,650
♪ DING A LING-A-LING
DING DONG DING ♪
27
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:28,740
[alarm beeping]
28
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,484
[silences alarm]
29
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,836
THE DAY STARTED OUT
LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY.
30
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:42,580
WHICH LATELY IS NOT
NECESSARILY A GOOD THING.
31
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:45,061
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
32
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,889
♪ SEEMS LIKE EVERYWHERE
YOU GO ♪
33
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:49,370
♪ PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR
AN EXPLANATION ♪
34
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,850
♪ NEED A REASON,
NEED A PLAN ♪
35
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,201
♪ ALWAYS HAVE TO KNOW
THE DESTINATION ♪
36
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,028
♪ ONE THING I KNOW
FOR SURE ♪
37
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:59,119
♪ GOTTA MAKE THE MOST
OF THE SITUATION ♪
38
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,772
♪ SETTLE DOWN
AND TAKE IT SLOW ♪
39
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:03,993
♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T CONTROL
WHERE THE FLOW IS GOING ♪
40
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,038
♪ YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
WHAT THEY SAY ♪
41
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,215
♪ LIFE'S NOT EASY
42
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:12,741
♪ THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO
IS CRAZY... ♪
43
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:15,831
[cell phone rings]
44
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,224
♪ AND REACH UP
TO THE SKY ♪
45
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,009
♪ BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING SPECIAL ♪
46
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,533
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
47
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,666
♪ THERE'S NO MOUNTAIN
YOU CAN'T CLIMB ♪
48
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:25,841
OH, CRAP!
49
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,495
TRUDIE, THAT WORD IS
SO TACKY.
50
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,496
[Trudie]
HI, MOM.
51
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:29,671
HI, HONEY.
52
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:30,715
WE'RE JUST GETTING
ORGANIZED HERE.
53
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:31,977
WE HAD TO BRING
EVERYTHING.
54
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,283
YOU NEVER KNOW
WITH A RENTAL.
55
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:34,893
SO YOU HAVE DIRECTIONS
AND EVERYTHING?
56
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634
I DO.
57
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,245
I'M GOING TO BE DOING SEATING
ARRANGEMENTS FOR DINNER.
58
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,072
SO I JUST WANTED
TO MAKE SURE
59
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,162
THAT NICK IS STILL
COMING WITH YOU.
60
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,076
OF COURSE HE IS.
61
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,166
COCKTAILS AT 6:00 SHARP.
62
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,820
I KNOW, MOM.
63
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,431
[muted ring]
64
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,563
WE ARE SO EXCITED
TO MEET HIM, HONEY.
65
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,217
IT'S GOING TO BE
A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS.
66
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,479
YOU THINK
HE COULD BE THE ONE?
67
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,525
I DON'T KNOW, MOM.
68
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,309
OH.
69
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,616
YEAH, MAYBE HE COULD.
70
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:02,834
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
71
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,401
I GOTTA GET READY
FOR THE INTERVIEW.
72
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,924
OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
73
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,361
WEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS DRESS.
74
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,014
IT'S A GREAT COLOR ON YOU,
75
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,060
AND THE STYLE REALLY
SLIMS YOUR HIPS.
76
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,194
MOM, NO,
I'M ALREADY DRESSED!
77
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,499
AND PLEASE, FOR CHRISTMAS
THIS YEAR,
78
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,197
NO MORE PINK SWEATERS,
PLEASE!
79
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,981
HONEY, PINK IS THE BEST
COLOR ON YOU
80
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,461
WITH YOUR BLUE EYES AND--
81
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,289
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT FITS ANYMORE.
82
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,594
I AM TELLING YOU YOU HAVE
TO DRESS FOR THE JOB...
83
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:26,380
OKAY...OKAY...OKAY!
84
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,685
HERE, HONEY,
TALK TO YOUR DAD.
85
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:28,817
NO, NO, NO, I DON'T
HAVE TIME TO TALK TO--
86
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,166
[Dad]
HEY, HEY!
HI, DAD.
87
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,037
LISTEN, YOU TOLD MR. PORTNOY
88
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,344
THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY
SALES EXPERIENCE, RIGHT?
89
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,389
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU SOLD HIM LEMONADE.
90
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,608
I SOLD HIM LEMONADE
WHEN I WAS TEN,
91
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:38,914
WHEN HE CALLED ME
"LITTLE POOTIE."
92
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,743
LISTEN, NEVER TAKE NO
FOR AN ANSWER.
93
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,701
AND DO NOT LEAVE THAT ROOM
UNTIL THE JOB IS YOURS, OKAY?
94
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,138
OKAY, WELL, WHAT DID YOU
TELL HIM I'VE BEEN DOING?
95
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,357
WELL, I DIDN'T.
96
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:48,793
I JUST SAID
YOU'RE A LATE BLOOMER,
97
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,621
BUT THAT YOU'RE READY
TO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.
98
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,536
SO YOU MAKE ME PROUD.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
99
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:53,755
LOVE YA, MWAH!
OKAY.
100
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:54,930
DRIVE SAFE, OKAY?
BYE.
101
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,888
LOVE YOU.
102
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,325
I CAN FEEL IT, HONEY.
103
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,327
I THINK THINGS ARE TURNING
AROUND FOR YOU.
104
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,938
OKAY.
BYE, MOM.
105
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,940
OH, HONEY, HONEY, BE SURE TO DO
SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR.
106
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,116
OH, MY GOD.
107
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,684
OH, NO!
108
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,468
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!
109
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:12,687
[screams]
110
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,298
[Trudie]
YEP, THE DAY STARTED OUT
LIKE ANY OTHER.
111
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,474
EXCEPT IT WAS
ALMOST CHRISTMAS.
112
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:20,303
AND THE CONSTANT PRESSURE
FROM MY PARENTS
113
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,740
TO GET A REAL JOB
AND A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND
114
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:24,307
WAS TAKING ITS TOLL.
115
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,266
IT WAS ENOUGH TO DRIVE
ANYONE NUTS.
116
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:29,834
BUT AREN'T MOST OF US JUST
A HAIR AWAY FROM CRAZY ANYWAY?
117
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,010
I THINK DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN SANITY AND INSANITY
118
00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:34,535
OFTEN COMES DOWN TO TIMING.
119
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:35,971
[tires squeal]
120
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,799
[glass shatters]
121
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:38,887
OH!
122
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,889
YOU BITCH!
123
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,456
[horn honks]
124
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,594
[elevator pings]
125
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,688
HI, TRUDIE CHANDLER.
I HAVE A--
YOU'RE LATE.
126
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,995
I KNOW, I'M SORRY.
HE CAN'T SEE YOU NOW.
127
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,779
OH, NO, NO, I KNOW
I'M A LITTLE LATE,
128
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,172
BUT YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND.
129
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,782
YOU SEE, MY PARENTS
AND MR. PORTNOY ARE NEIGHBORS.
130
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,349
SO MY DAD SET
THIS APPOINTMENT,
131
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,133
SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT I SEE HIM.
132
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:10,614
IF IT WAS SO IMPORTANT,
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON TIME.
133
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,877
HE'S IN WITH HIS
NEXT INTERVIEW.
134
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,488
NO.
135
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:15,532
NO, HE CAN'T BE.
136
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,839
NO, I CAN'T MISS
THIS INTERVIEW.
137
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,801
DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT.
138
00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,200
MR. PORTNOY, IT'S ME!
LITTLE POOTIE!
139
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,028
FROM THE CORNER!
COME ON!
140
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,508
COME ON, YOU KNOW
I CAN SELL.
141
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,510
I MADE MORE MONEY
142
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,728
THAN ANY OF THOSE OTHER GIRLS
ON THE STREET!
143
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,948
WE HAVE A CODE RED UP HERE.
144
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:43,734
[grunting]
145
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:47,172
BUT THINGS ARE FINALLY
TURNING AROUND FOR ME.
146
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,446
OH!
HOW'D IT GO?
147
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,839
I'M PRETTY SURE
I DIDN'T GET IT.
148
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,363
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
149
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,452
I DON'T PAY YOU TO CHITCHAT
WITH YOUR FRIEND, OKAY?
150
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,714
GET TO WORK OR YOU'LL BE
OUT IN THE GUTTER.
151
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,106
SHUT UP, TAJ.
152
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,370
YOU'RE GONNA FIRE ME
LIKE I'M GONNA SLEEP WITH YOU.
153
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,720
HE WOULD NOT KEEP HIS
GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S GUN HERE
154
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:16,680
IF HE KNEW HOW CLOSE I COME
TO KILLING HIM EVERY DAY.
155
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:19,509
OH, MY GOD.
UGH, I LEFT IT IN TOO LONG.
156
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,859
MY MOM'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING
THAT MY HAIR HANGS IN MY FACE.
157
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,688
OH, MY GOD.
158
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:27,735
IT'S MY CHRISTMAS DRESS.
MY MOM GOT IT FOR ME.
159
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,085
TAJ IS REALLY INTO
CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.
160
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,695
BUT HE'S HINDU.
161
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,131
PSSH.
162
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,396
HOW DO I LOOK?
163
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,485
OH, SWEETIE.
164
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,836
OH, LUCY, I COMPLETELY
BLEW THE INTERVIEW.
165
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:42,924
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO GO HOME TODAY.
166
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,491
THERE'S GONNA BE
NOWHERE TO HIDE.
167
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,493
I MEAN, MY MOM WANTED THIS
TO BE A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS,
168
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,843
SO SHE RENTED A CABIN
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
169
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,280
WE'RE GONNA BE TRAPPED
LIKE THE SHINING.
170
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,064
I'M SORRY.
171
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:54,718
I'D OFFER TO COME
WITH YOU,
172
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,024
BUT STEVE AND I ARE
HAVING OUR FIRST
173
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,634
CHRISTMAS ALONE TOGETHER.
174
00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:58,896
THAT'S OKAY.
175
00:06:59,070 --> 00:06:59,854
I STILL HAVE ONE MORE
CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL.
176
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:00,985
NICK'S COMING WITH ME.
177
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,552
TABLE TWO WANTS THEIR CHECK.
TABLE TWO.
178
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:03,727
WHAT?
179
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,425
THAT'S A LITTLE FAST,
ISN'T IT?
180
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:06,730
NO, IT'S BEEN
A COUPLE OF MONTHS.
181
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,471
BESIDES, I HAVE NOTHING
TO OFFER THESE PEOPLE.
182
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,081
NO HUSBAND.
NO GRANDCHILDREN.
183
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,692
MY DAD ALREADY THINKS
I'M A LESBIAN.
184
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,737
SO YOU'RE USING NICK TO GET
YOUR PARENTS OFF YOUR BACK.
185
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:15,130
YES--NO!
186
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,610
HE'S JUST GREAT
AT FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
187
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,438
MY PARENTS ARE GONNA
LOVE HIM.
188
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,309
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE
AGAINST HIM ANYWAY.
189
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,224
I GUESS ELITIST JACKASSES
AREN'T MY TYPE.
190
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:23,530
THEY'RE NOT YOURS EITHER.
191
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,227
LOOK, SO HIS FAMILY
OWNS BANKS.
192
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,142
WHAT'S WRONG WITH WEALTHY
AND SUCCESSFUL FOR A CHANGE?
193
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,926
IT'S EASY TO BE WEALTHY
AND SUCCESSFUL
194
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:31,059
IF YOU'RE BORN INTO WEALTH
AND HANDED SUCCESS.
195
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,582
WELL, HE'S COMING
TO PICK ME UP AT 2:00,
196
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:33,801
SO CAN YOU PLEASE
TRY TO CONTROL
197
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,150
THE CHRONIC BITCH-ITIS,
PLEASE?
198
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:38,762
CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
TABLE TWO, CHECK, HURRY UP!
199
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:44,246
I SAID I WANTED
HOT FUDGE, YOU CHOWDERHEAD.
200
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,987
NICE.
201
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,468
[Nick]
EXCUSE ME.
202
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,995
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA QUIT
THIS HEINOUS JOB?
203
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,475
OH, YOU'RE HERE, YES!
204
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:59,391
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
205
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,176
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
I WAS TRYING
206
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,351
NOT TO ATTRACT ATTENTION
FROM MY PARENTS.
207
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,614
YEAH, ABOUT THAT.
208
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:05,702
I THINK I'M GONNA PASS
209
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,312
ON THE WHOLE HOLIDAY
SONG AND DANCE.
210
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,357
WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
211
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,924
WELL, JUST MEETING
YOUR PARENTS
212
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,055
IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL,
213
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,187
AND I DON'T THINK
WE'RE THERE YET.
214
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,363
OH, UH-HUH,
OKAY, OKAY, UH-HUH.
215
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,886
WELL, DO YOU THINK
THAT MAYBE
216
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,975
IN LIKE THE NEXT TEN MINUTES
WE COULD GET TO THAT LEVEL?
217
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,150
BECAUSE MY PARENTS
ARE EXPECTING YOU
218
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,630
TO COME HOME WITH ME.
219
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,502
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER
GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART.
220
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:25,417
YOU CAN'T BAIL
ON ME NOW, NICK.
221
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,682
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00 SHARP!
222
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:29,857
I NEED YOU.
223
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:32,555
YEAH, THE NEEDY THING?
NOT A TURN ON.
224
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,514
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
225
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:35,863
THIS IS--THIS IS
NOT HAPPENING!
226
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,299
WHY DID YOU TELL ME
227
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,474
YOU WERE GONNA COME HOME
WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS
228
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:39,823
IF YOU WERE NEVER
GONNA DO IT?
229
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,000
BECAUSE I KNEW THAT THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR.
230
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:47,091
YOU KNOW, AND WE HADN'T
HAD SEX YET, SO...
231
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,572
HEH.
YEAH, SEE YOU LATER.
232
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:52,749
WAIT!
233
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,403
IF YOU WALK OUT
THAT DOOR NOW,
234
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,580
WE ARE SO OVER.
235
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,627
UH...YEAH.
236
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,106
OKAY.
237
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,852
[bell rings]
238
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,593
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD.
239
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:11,768
OH, MY GOD.
240
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,378
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
I'M WAITING FOR JESSICA.
241
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,380
RIGHT OVER THERE.
242
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,817
DUDE, OF COURSE
I'M SURE.
243
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,819
SO WISH ME LUCK, OKAY?
THANK YOU.
244
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,864
BYE.
245
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,001
HEY, HEY, HEY!
WAKE UP!
246
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,219
COME ON, HURRY UP.
CUSTOMER, TABLE TEN!
247
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,481
GO, GO, GO!
248
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,309
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
249
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,488
WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU?
250
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:40,275
UH, I'LL TAKE
A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES
251
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:44,148
AND A CAESAR SALAD, PLEASE.
DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
252
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,239
DO YOU NEED
TO WRITE IT DOWN?
253
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,895
[bell rings repeatedly]
254
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:02,427
[overlapping voices]
255
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,212
MM, THIS IS GOOD,
THIS IS GOOD!
256
00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,866
[Dad]
SAID YOU WERE A LATE BLOOMER.
257
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,389
[Trudie]
YOU CAN'T BAIL
ON ME NOW, NICK!
258
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:11,001
[Katherine]
COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00.
259
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,873
ACTUALLY IT WAS MY FATHER'S.
260
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:13,961
[Nick]
'CAUSE I KNEW THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANTED TO HEAR,
261
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:15,876
AND WE HADN'T HAD SEX YET.
262
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,618
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER
GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART.
263
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:22,404
YOU OKAY?
WHERE'S NICK?
264
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,188
OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
265
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,626
[cell phone ringing]
266
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,366
HEY, WHAT IS
THAT RINGING?
267
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:34,590
WHAT IS THAT?
268
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:35,765
HELLO, MOM.
269
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,811
TRUDIE?
I KNEW IT.
270
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,726
YOU HAVEN'T LEFT YET,
HAVE YOU?
I'M SORRY, MOM.
271
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:40,944
I SAID 6:00.
272
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,642
HONEY, WHAT PART OF THAT
273
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:43,643
DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
274
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,209
YOU KNOW, TRUDIE,
275
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,733
THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN MANAGE
TO BE ON TIME.
276
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,038
WHY CAN'T YOU DO
THIS ONE THING FOR ME?
277
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:51,128
ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN CHRISTMAS?
278
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,303
TRUDIE?
279
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,784
WE'RE LEAVING NOW.
280
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,003
NICK'S BRINGING
DINNER CLOTHES, RIGHT?
281
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:59,267
YEAH, HE'S WEARING
A BLUE BLAZER,
282
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:00,790
DRESS SHIRT, PINK TIE.
283
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,400
DID YOU PLAN
THE MATCHING PINK?
284
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,881
NO, WE DIDN'T PLAN IT.
GET IN THE CAR.
285
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,760
EXCUSE ME.
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
286
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:14,804
OH, THIS ISN'T
THE RESTROOM?
287
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,850
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
288
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,679
NO, I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
289
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,985
UH, LOOK, I'M NOT SURE
WHAT KIND OF
290
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,813
GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED
WORK PROGRAM
291
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,641
YOU'RE A PART OF, BUT I--
[gun cocks]
292
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,034
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
293
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,905
IT'S A GUN.
ARE YOU SURE?
294
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,037
YEAH, IT'S A GUN.
295
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,647
IT WAS USED
TO FIGHT THE BRITISH.
296
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:32,866
MAYBE YOU HEARD
OF A LITTLE THING
297
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,303
CALLED THE INDIAN WAR
OF INDEPENDENCE, 1857.
298
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,870
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
299
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,393
[grunting]
MOVE IT!
300
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,482
HEY, WATCH IT!
301
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,275
AAH--UNH!
302
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,497
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
303
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,896
WAKE UP.
WAKE UP!
304
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,901
[grunting]
305
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,120
YOU, BLITZEN.
306
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,600
EXCUSE YOU?
307
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,602
I'M LOOKING
FOR MY BOYFRIEND.
308
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,604
HANDSOME,
NICE DIMPLES.
309
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,259
HANDSOME, NICE DIMPLES.
DON'T SEE HIM.
310
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,783
MAYBE THIS IS HIS WAY
OF DUMPING YOU.
311
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,480
OH!
312
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:29,792
♪ YOU SAY I GOTTA
LEARN A LESSON TODAY ♪
313
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,446
♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY
314
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:34,231
♪ YOU SAY I NEED
A GOOD PUNCH IN THE FACE ♪
315
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:36,407
♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY
316
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,626
UNH.
317
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,846
HI.
HUH?
318
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,456
HI?
319
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,153
HOW'S YOUR HEAD?
320
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,807
HOW ABOUT I TAKE
THE BLINDFOLD OFF NOW?
321
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,287
HOW'D THAT BE?
322
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,422
HI.
323
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,859
HELLO.
324
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:57,211
[straining]
325
00:12:57,341 --> 00:13:00,083
LOOK, I'M NOT SURE
WHAT'S GOING ON
326
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,781
OR WHAT YOU WANT
FROM ME,
327
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:05,088
BUT THIS PLAN DOESN'T
SEEM VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT.
328
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,308
LET'S FACE IT.
I'M A GUY.
329
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,266
AND SOONER OR LATER,
I WILL OVERPOWER YOU.
330
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,354
YEAH, GOOD POINT.
331
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:13,140
UNLESS YOU KNOCK
YOURSELF OUT FIRST.
332
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,098
OR I SHOOT YOU.
[gun cocks]
333
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,799
YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GIRL.
334
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,497
PROBABLY NOTHING A LITTLE
LITHIUM COULDN'T FIX.
335
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,673
COME ON, YOU'RE NOT REALLY
336
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,327
GONNA SHOOT ME
WITH THAT THING.
337
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,458
[squeaking]
338
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,634
AAH!
339
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,376
AAH!
OH, MY GOD!
340
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,161
OH, MY GOD!
341
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,340
SORRY.
342
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:48,653
[soft rock
playing on car radio]
343
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:52,179
♪
344
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,745
[Trudie]
SO THIS IS THE DEAL.
345
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:54,964
YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME
TO SPEND CHRISTMAS
346
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,271
WITH MY FAMILY
AS MY BOYFRIEND NICK,
347
00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,838
WHO UNFORTUNATELY
COULDN'T MAKE IT.
348
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,405
I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING
LIKE THAT, LOONEY TUNES.
349
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,233
YOU DON'T EXACTLY
HAVE A CHOICE, DWAYNE.
350
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:07,498
IT'S DAVID, AND...
351
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,543
OH!
352
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,850
YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPED YOU.
353
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,852
NO, I TOLD YOU.
HE COULDN'T MAKE IT.
354
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,723
RIGHT.
355
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,638
YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE
HAIRY LADY
356
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,858
MAN-HATER TYPES
WHO'S BEEN REJECTED
357
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:19,902
TIME AFTER TIME,
358
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,861
AND NOW
YOU'RE TAKING IT OUT
359
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,210
ON AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
360
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,865
WHAT?
NO, I'M NOT!
361
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,140
[engine turns off]
362
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,011
GAS, GAS STATION.
363
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,970
GREEN AND WHITE SIGN,
GREEN AND WHITE.
364
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,016
HEY, YOU KNOW
THERE'S NO WAY
365
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,844
YOU'RE GONNA PULL
THIS OFF, RIGHT?
366
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,150
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,
367
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,673
HOLD THE GUN ON ME DURING
CHRISTMAS DINNER?
368
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,457
THE SECOND I GET TO YOUR HOUSE
AND TELL YOUR FAMILY
369
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,764
HOW DEMENTED YOU ARE--
HEY!
370
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,331
HEY, THAT'S GETTING
PERSONAL.
371
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,593
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
372
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,900
NO CELL PHONE?
373
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:04,077
IT'S IN MY COAT.
AT THE DINER.
374
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:07,950
WHERE I LEFT IT
BEFORE I WAS KIDNAPPED!
375
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,044
[straining]
376
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,220
MAN, WHAT IS THIS STUFF
MADE OF?
377
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,179
[bell rings]
378
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,484
OH, HELLO.
379
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,573
HI.
380
00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,185
[clerk chuckling]
381
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:32,540
UH, JUST $10 WORTH
AND THIS.
382
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,761
AH.
383
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,244
[cash register beeping]
384
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,593
THERE YOU GO.
385
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:45,901
I USUALLY PUMP THE GAS
FOR THE PRETTY LADIES.
386
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,469
OH, PLEASE,
THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
387
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,471
YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO DENY AN OLD MAN
388
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,821
ONE OF THE FEW PLEASURES
HE HAS LEFT.
389
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,040
OH, NO, REALLY!
390
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,084
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
391
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,129
I CAN HANDLE IT.
392
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,347
[clerk]
WHOA!
393
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:58,958
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,
SWEETHEART?
394
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,351
UH, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.
395
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:02,700
I'M SURPRISING HIM
WITH A WEEKEND IN THE WOODS.
396
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,920
YOU KNOW, THE WILD
KIND OF WEEKEND.
397
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,227
THE "TIE ME UP,
TIE ME DOWN" KIND.
398
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,837
YOU BETTER COME
WITH ME, YOUNG LADY.
399
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,448
I REALLY
DON'T HAVE TIME.
400
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:23,112
[pump ringing]
401
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,424
THESE ARE
ON THE HOUSE, HONEY.
402
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:34,080
OH!
OH, THANKS.
403
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,082
YEAH.
404
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:37,257
WELL, YOU BETTER
WATCH OUT,
405
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:38,736
OR I'LL COME BACK
FOR YOU NEXT.
406
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,825
[chuckling]
407
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:49,269
OKAY.
408
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,661
SO...THIS KIDNAPPING
409
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,403
JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT
MORE PROFESSIONAL.
410
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,839
[David]
YOU'RE KIDDING.
411
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,841
[straining]
412
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:04,110
AND MORE COMFY TOO,
RIGHT?
413
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,591
AND JUST SLIGHTLY
MORE HUMILIATING.
414
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,028
[engine starts]
415
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,768
LUCKY LITTLE BASTARD.
416
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:16,122
[chuckles]
417
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:22,911
[soft rock
playing on radio]
418
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,348
♪
419
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,916
LOOK, I'D LIKE
TO APOLOGIZE FOR EARLIER
420
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,788
FOR RAISING MY VOICE
AND FOR...
421
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:34,270
YOU KNOW, SHOOTING
NEAR YOUR...MANHOOD.
422
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,058
BEEF JERKY?
423
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,757
THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY KIND.
424
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,368
OKAY, SO I THINK
WE SHOULD SHARE
425
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,370
A FEW IMPORTANT FACTS
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
426
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,373
LET ME GUESS.
UM...
427
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,158
YOU'RE SOME SORT
OF A VICE PRESIDENT
428
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:55,291
OF A--A COMPANY
YOUR FATHER OWNS.
429
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,817
OKAY, THAT'S A YES.
430
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,080
UM...
431
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,430
YOUR PARENTS
BOUGHT YOUR FIRST HOUSE.
432
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,215
YOU SAIL AND GOLF.
433
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:09,305
I'M GUESSING
A 14 HANDICAP.
434
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,612
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY
SOME SORT OF
435
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,789
A ZETA BETA BETA
SCHMETA.
436
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:18,271
OKAY, YES, YES, AND YES.
437
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,490
I'M A TEN HANDICAP.
438
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:21,665
OH, HOW GREAT FOR YOU.
439
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,667
WELL, I THINK
IT'S SAFE TO SAY
440
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:25,756
I'VE LOST MY JOB
AT TAJ'S DINER DELUXE.
441
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,628
I LIVE IN A CRAPPY LOFT
DOWNTOWN.
442
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:28,933
I DON'T GOLF.
443
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,109
YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH
SUMS IT UP.
444
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,999
[engine turns off]
445
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,957
UGH.
446
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:56,135
OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
447
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:05,274
[Nutcracker Suiteplaying]
448
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:10,540
[front door opens
and closes]
449
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,152
[Katherine]
OOH, THERE SHE IS!
450
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:17,808
LOOK WHO'S HERE!
OH, MY BABY, OH!
451
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,158
MOM, DON'T CRY.
452
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,724
LET ME LOOK AT YOU--
OH, MY GOSH!
453
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,161
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO YOUR HAIR?
454
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,814
YOU LOOK LIKE
ONE OF THOSE ACTRESSES
455
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,033
IN A PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE.
456
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,556
I HAVE PORN STAR HAIR?
457
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,167
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHAT A PORN STAR LOOKS LIKE?
458
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,385
TRUDIE!
459
00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:30,821
OH, BUT LET ME LOOK
AT THE DRESS.
460
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,388
OH, IT LOOKS GORGEOUS.
461
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,216
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
RICHARD?
462
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,000
I THINK IT'S TOO TIGHT.
HI, DAD.
463
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:38,002
SO WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TODAY?
464
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,179
I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS LATE--
465
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,397
MR. PORTNOY DID THIS
AS A FAVOR.
466
00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:43,094
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S A REFLECTION ON ME.
467
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,835
I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY--
I'M SORRY.
468
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,097
COULD WE NOT TALK
ABOUT THIS NOW?
469
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:47,751
I DON'T WANT
TO RUIN CHRISTMAS
470
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,188
BY ALL THIS
NEGATIVE TALK.
471
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,189
WHERE'S NICK?
472
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:51,625
OH, HE'S IN THE CAR.
473
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,148
BUT I WANTED
TO TELL YOU GUYS.
474
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,367
YOU KNOW WHEN WE GO
TO A RESTAURANT
475
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,499
AND DAD TELLS JOKES
TO THE WAITRESSES
476
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:57,761
AND THEY'RE STUPID
AND EMBARRASSING
477
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:58,806
BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY?
MM-HMM.
478
00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:00,111
WELL, UM, SOMETIMES
479
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:03,376
WHEN NICK FEELS AWKWARD
IN A SOCIAL SITUATION
480
00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:04,986
HE DOES THIS WHOLE,
"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE,
481
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,206
I'VE BEEN
KIDNAPPED" THING.
482
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:08,772
KIND OF WEIRD,
BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY.
483
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:09,904
SO JUST LAUGH ALONG
484
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,732
SO IT DOESN'T MAKE HIM
FEEL BAD, OKAY?
485
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,171
OKAY.
486
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,434
WE'RE VERY EXCITED
TO MEET HIM.
487
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:19,957
OKAY, LOOK, DAD, PLEASE
488
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,220
TRY NOT
TO EMBARRASS HIM, OKAY?
489
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,700
YEAH, FINE.
490
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,926
OKAY, WE'RE ON.
491
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:33,754
NO, I'M NOT GOING.
492
00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:35,364
WELL, IT'S NICE AND WARM
IN THE HOUSE.
493
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,540
YOU'LL FREEZE TO DEATH
OUT HERE.
494
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,717
FINE, THIS CHARADE'S
ABOUT TO END RIGHT NOW.
495
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,031
[front door slams]
496
00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:51,728
AHEM.
497
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,773
WELCOME.
498
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:54,296
OH, THIS IS SO,
SO SPECIAL.
499
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:58,300
YOU ARE THE FIRST BOYFRIEND
TRUDIE'S EVER BROUGHT HOME.
500
00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,476
YEAH, WE THOUGHT MAYBE
SHE LIKED THE INNIES.
501
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:01,956
YOU KNOW,
NOT THE OUTIES.
502
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,785
OH, MY GOD, RICHARD!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
503
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,656
OKAY.
504
00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:08,179
LISTEN TO ME
VERY CAREFULLY.
505
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,269
SHE FORCED ME
TO COME HERE.
506
00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:13,097
THIS WOMAN
HELD ME AT GUNPOINT,
507
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:15,230
KIDNAPPED ME, AND BROUGHT ME
TO THIS HOUSE
508
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:18,886
AS HER HOSTAGE.
509
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,889
[laughter]
510
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,282
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
511
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:26,154
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?
DID YOU JUST HEAR ME?
512
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,156
YEAH.
MM-HMM.
513
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,810
YOUR DAUGHTER IS A CRAZY,
DANGEROUS, CRIMINAL.
514
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:32,291
YES, SHE IS!
OOH...
515
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:34,641
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME EGGNOG?
516
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,817
I HAVE A SECRET INGREDIENT
THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
517
00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:37,905
[whispering]
IT'S GROUND CLOVES.
518
00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:41,343
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
519
00:21:41,474 --> 00:21:42,431
ARE YOU ALL NUTS?
520
00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:43,867
ALL RIGHT, HONEY,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
521
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:45,826
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU HAVE YOURSELF A SEAT, NICK.
522
00:21:45,869 --> 00:21:47,044
MY NAME IS NOT NICK!
523
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,219
YEAH, HE DOES THAT TOO.
524
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,221
AND I WILL NOT HAVE A SEAT!
525
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,572
OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA GO
HELP MOM WITH THE EGGNOG.
526
00:21:56,489 --> 00:21:58,055
OH.
527
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:02,146
[laughing]
COME ON.
528
00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:04,932
NICK, HAVE A SEAT.
COME ON.
529
00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:06,673
MOM, I WAS WONDERING
530
00:22:06,803 --> 00:22:08,109
IF I COULD BE
KEY MASTER THIS YEAR.
531
00:22:08,239 --> 00:22:09,545
REALLY?
532
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:11,547
USUALLY YOU HATE
THE IDEA OF KEY MASTER.
533
00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:12,983
YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THE IDEA OF BEING
534
00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:14,071
FORCIBLY TRAPPED
AT THE HOLIDAYS
535
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,551
USED TO BOTHER ME,
BUT NOW I SEE
536
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:17,553
THE HIGHER
SOCIAL PURPOSE.
537
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:19,816
AH-HA, WELL, YOU SURE
YOU CAN HANDLE GRANDMA?
538
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,122
YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
539
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,732
AND THAT'S BEFORE
SHE DIPS INTO THE EGGNOG.
540
00:22:22,863 --> 00:22:24,473
SHE'S LIKE 75 YEARS OLD.
541
00:22:24,604 --> 00:22:27,215
YES, BUT SHE'S STILL
FREAKISHLY STRONG.
542
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,521
I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.
543
00:22:30,305 --> 00:22:32,089
I'M TRUSTING YOU.
544
00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:11,041
HELLO!
545
00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:17,961
HELLO!
IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
546
00:23:19,963 --> 00:23:22,096
[animal howls]
547
00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:25,578
[croaking]
HELP.
548
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,710
[shivering]
549
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:39,069
LOOK, SIR, I THINK
I CAN CLEAR UP
550
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,723
THIS SITUATION,
AND WE CAN FORGET
551
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:42,333
THE WHOLE THING
EVER HAPPENED.
552
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,597
I JUST NEED TO USE
THE PHONE.
553
00:23:44,727 --> 00:23:46,163
NO PHONES IN THE HOUSE.
554
00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:47,861
WHAT ABOUT A CELL PHONE?
555
00:23:47,991 --> 00:23:49,732
AH, THE KEY MASTER'S GOT
ALL THE CELL PHONES.
556
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:52,866
APPARENTLY IT INTERFERES
WITH OUR QUALITY FAMILY TIME.
557
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:55,651
[chuckles]
YEAH, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO?
558
00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:56,739
[front door opens]
559
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,001
[man]
OH, THIS PLACE IS GREAT!
560
00:23:58,045 --> 00:23:59,960
OH, WOW.
561
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:00,961
GANG'S ALL HERE!
562
00:24:01,091 --> 00:24:02,092
HEY!
HI, DAD!
563
00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:03,964
HOW DID MY KIDS
GET SO GOOD LOOKING?
564
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,661
MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
IN THE WORLD.
565
00:24:05,792 --> 00:24:06,793
[woman]
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
566
00:24:06,923 --> 00:24:07,837
I WANT TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT SCHOOL.
567
00:24:07,968 --> 00:24:10,449
HEY, HOW ARE YOU, STUD?
568
00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:13,190
I'M GOOD.
THAT'S MY BOY.
569
00:24:13,321 --> 00:24:15,454
GOSH, YOU LOOK STUNNING.
HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?
570
00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:17,151
NO. I CUT OUT
DAIRY THOUGH.
571
00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:19,283
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
THANKS, MOM.
572
00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:20,459
MOM, YOU LOOK GOOD.
HI!
573
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:21,590
WOW, MOM, YOU HAVE REALLY
574
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:23,026
MADE IT LOOK PERFECT
575
00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:24,332
AND CHRISTMASSY.
576
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,160
THANK YOU.
YEAH, SOME DIGS, MA.
577
00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:27,422
WHAT, DID YOU CASH IN
DAD'S 401K?
578
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:28,641
HEY!
579
00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:29,816
HEY, WHERE'S JAN?
580
00:24:29,946 --> 00:24:31,208
I THOUGHT SHE WAS COMING.
581
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:32,862
I TOLD YOU SHE HAD
TO STAY IN TOWN TO WORK.
582
00:24:32,993 --> 00:24:34,298
I'M LUCKY I COULD TAKE
THE TIME OFF.
583
00:24:34,429 --> 00:24:35,691
YOU WORK TOO HARD.
584
00:24:35,822 --> 00:24:36,866
WELL, MARKETS DON'T STOP
WHEN I'M NOT THERE, MA.
585
00:24:36,997 --> 00:24:39,086
HEY, NUMB NUTS,
COME HERE!
586
00:24:39,129 --> 00:24:40,566
LOOK AT THIS HAIR!
WHAT IS THAT?
587
00:24:40,696 --> 00:24:43,743
LOOK AT THAT!
JAKE, JAKE,
WE HAVE COMPANY.
588
00:24:43,873 --> 00:24:45,353
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET
TRUDIE'S BOYFRIEND, NICK.
589
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,397
HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU.
590
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,617
I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND!
591
00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:51,054
I MET HER TODAY WHEN
SHE POKED A MUSKET IN MY RIBS,
592
00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,665
TIED ME UP
WITH FURRY HANDCUFFS,
593
00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,580
AND DROVE ME TO WHEREVER
I AM RIGHT NOW.
594
00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:57,800
FURRY HANDCUFFS.
NOW I'M EMBARRASSED.
595
00:24:57,844 --> 00:25:00,934
[laughter]
596
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:03,458
HE'S--IT'S--
OH, IT'S A WHOLE THING.
597
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:04,851
ALL RIGHT,
COME HERE.
598
00:25:04,981 --> 00:25:06,417
LOOK, JAKE--IS IT JAKE?
YEAH.
599
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:08,289
YOU LOOK LIKE
A REASONABLE PERSON.
600
00:25:08,419 --> 00:25:09,856
LISTEN TO ME, MAN.
601
00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:11,161
YOU MAY THINK
YOUR SISTER IS NORMAL.
602
00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:13,860
BUT SHE'S NOT.
BELIEVE ME.
603
00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:15,601
SHE IS A PSYCHOPATH.
604
00:25:15,731 --> 00:25:17,646
TELL ME ABOUT IT!
605
00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:18,778
HUH?
HA HA!
606
00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:20,954
ALL RIGHT,
I WANT EGGNOG.
607
00:25:20,997 --> 00:25:22,956
COME ON, NICK.
608
00:25:23,086 --> 00:25:24,392
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
COME ON.
609
00:25:32,269 --> 00:25:33,880
OKAY, NICK,
YOU'LL BE IN HERE.
610
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:36,186
AND, TRUDIE--
MOM, I AM 27 YEARS OLD.
611
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:38,058
I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THE SAME
ROOM AS MY BOYFRIEND.
612
00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:40,321
END OF STORY.
613
00:25:40,451 --> 00:25:42,584
OH.
OKAY, DEAR.
614
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:47,807
YEAH, YOU BETTER GET
USED TO THESE BUNK BEDS.
615
00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:49,504
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA BE SHARING
616
00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:51,767
WITH YOU NEW JAIL BUDDIES,
MAD DOG AND ROZ.
617
00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:53,987
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
AND RELAX?
618
00:25:54,117 --> 00:25:56,816
OH, MAKE NO MISTAKE,
FREAK SHOW.
619
00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:58,861
I WILL FIND A WAY
OUT OF HERE.
620
00:25:58,992 --> 00:26:00,036
AND WHAT'S GONNA
KEEP ME GOING
621
00:26:00,167 --> 00:26:01,516
IS THE LOOK
ON YOUR TWISTED FACE
622
00:26:01,647 --> 00:26:04,171
AS THEY HAUL YOU OFF
TO THE SLAMMER.
623
00:26:04,214 --> 00:26:06,521
YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT AS WELL
SETTLE DOWN,
624
00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:08,001
BECAUSE THERE'S
NO WAY OUT OF HERE.
625
00:26:08,131 --> 00:26:09,742
SEE, AS THE KEY MASTER,
I HAVE CONTROL
626
00:26:09,785 --> 00:26:11,134
OF ALL THE CAR KEYS
AND CELL PHONES,
627
00:26:11,265 --> 00:26:13,572
WHICH I'VE HIDDEN QUITE WELL,
IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.
628
00:26:14,485 --> 00:26:16,705
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRY
AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
629
00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:17,750
BECAUSE WE HAVE A COUPLE
OF BIG DAYS
630
00:26:17,793 --> 00:26:18,925
AHEAD OF US, SHNOOKUMS.
631
00:26:29,457 --> 00:26:31,459
[snoring]
632
00:26:46,909 --> 00:26:50,913
BE THE KEY MASTER.
BE THE KEY MASTER.
633
00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,848
THERE'S GOTTA BE
A NEIGHBOR SOMEWHERE.
634
00:27:18,941 --> 00:27:20,726
♪ COME ON,
IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪
635
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:24,077
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE
TOGETHER WITH YOU ♪
636
00:27:24,207 --> 00:27:26,209
♪ OUTSIDE THE SNOW
IS FALLING ♪
637
00:27:26,253 --> 00:27:27,907
♪ AND FRIENDS
ARE CALLING YOO-HOO ♪
638
00:27:28,037 --> 00:27:31,214
♪ COME ON,
IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪
639
00:27:31,345 --> 00:27:33,216
♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE
TOGETHER WITH YOU... ♪
640
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:36,393
SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING
FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR?
641
00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:43,662
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
COME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
642
00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:45,881
WE'LL MAKE SOME
HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY?
643
00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:49,798
♪ OUR CHEEKS
ARE NICE AND ROSY ♪
644
00:27:49,929 --> 00:27:51,800
♪ AND COMFY AND COZY
ARE WE ♪
645
00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:54,629
[engine turns off]
646
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,675
NO HOT CHOCOLATE
FOR YOU THEN?
647
00:28:04,813 --> 00:28:07,816
[cell phone vibrating]
648
00:28:17,608 --> 00:28:19,088
HELLO.
649
00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:20,437
HEY, IT'S ME.
650
00:28:20,568 --> 00:28:21,700
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU YESTERDAY?
651
00:28:21,830 --> 00:28:23,005
YOU LOOKED KIND OF STRANGE.
652
00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:23,789
AND THEN I TURNED AROUND
AND YOU WERE GONE.
653
00:28:23,832 --> 00:28:24,790
ARE YOU OKAY?
654
00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,400
YEAH, I'M FINE.
655
00:28:26,530 --> 00:28:28,707
WELL, NOT EXACTLY FINE.
656
00:28:29,229 --> 00:28:31,448
I THINK I HAD A LITTLE BIT
OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
657
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:33,059
I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY CAME IN SIZES.
658
00:28:33,189 --> 00:28:34,930
YEAH, AND I--
659
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:36,410
I DID SOMETHING
KIND OF CRAZY.
660
00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:48,988
HEY, GOOD MORNING.
661
00:28:49,031 --> 00:28:49,902
MORNING.
662
00:28:50,032 --> 00:28:51,077
COME ON, SIT DOWN.
663
00:28:51,207 --> 00:28:52,339
I'LL MAKE YOU
A SPECIAL BREAKFAST.
664
00:28:52,556 --> 00:28:53,862
IT'S NOT THAT BIG
OF A DEAL.
665
00:28:53,993 --> 00:28:55,516
NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?
666
00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:58,562
YOU HAVE TO LET HIM GO
RIGHT NOW.
667
00:28:58,693 --> 00:28:59,912
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
AFTER THE HOLIDAYS?
668
00:29:00,042 --> 00:29:01,740
YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM.
HE'S NOT A PUPPY.
669
00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:02,958
I KNOW.
670
00:29:03,002 --> 00:29:03,785
LOOK, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
THAT FAR AHEAD,
671
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:04,786
BUT I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
672
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:06,179
I HOPE YOU LIKE
EGGS BENEDICT,
673
00:29:06,309 --> 00:29:07,833
AND I HOPE
YOU'RE HUNGRY.
674
00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:11,227
A LITTLE FRUIT SALAD.
675
00:29:11,358 --> 00:29:13,186
HERE YOU GO.
676
00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:15,449
THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.
677
00:29:18,669 --> 00:29:20,802
YOU DIDN'T SLEEP
IN THOSE CLOTHES, DID YOU?
678
00:29:20,846 --> 00:29:23,152
YEAH, I'M TRYING
TO TELL YOU THAT--
679
00:29:23,283 --> 00:29:25,807
OH, YOU KNOW IN ALL THE CHAOS,
WE FORGOT HIS SUITCASE.
680
00:29:26,590 --> 00:29:28,201
THAT'S RIGHT.
681
00:29:28,331 --> 00:29:29,985
I LEFT IT AT THE DINER.
682
00:29:30,116 --> 00:29:32,509
YOU KNOW I SHOULD REALLY
CALL ABOUT THAT, BUNNY.
683
00:29:32,553 --> 00:29:34,120
COULD I BORROW
YOUR PHONE, PLEASE?
684
00:29:34,250 --> 00:29:35,599
SORRY, I DIDN'T BRING
MY PHONE, SWEET PEA.
685
00:29:35,730 --> 00:29:37,993
YES, YOUR DID.
IT'S IN YOUR--
686
00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:41,127
OH!
TRUDIE!
687
00:29:41,257 --> 00:29:42,302
OHH.
688
00:29:42,432 --> 00:29:45,522
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO PUT THAT AWAY.
689
00:29:45,653 --> 00:29:46,828
RIGHT.
FORGOT.
690
00:29:46,959 --> 00:29:48,482
I'LL GO GET YOU
SOMETHING TO WEAR
691
00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:49,744
WHILE I WASH
YOUR CLOTHES.
692
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,485
RICHARD ALWAYS BRINGS
A FEW THINGS
693
00:29:51,615 --> 00:29:52,834
HE THINKS HE'LL BE ABLE
TO FIT INTO
694
00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:55,097
IF HE LOSES TEN POUNDS.
695
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,016
GIVE ME THE PHONE.
COME AND GET IT.
696
00:30:01,147 --> 00:30:02,757
GIVE IT!
NO!
697
00:30:08,502 --> 00:30:10,504
YOU KNOW, I RAN TRACK
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
698
00:30:10,634 --> 00:30:11,810
I PLAYED FOOTBALL,
AND MY NICKNAME WAS FLASH.
699
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,812
OOH, SCARY!
700
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:22,821
YOU KNOW, I WAS ALSO
REALLY GOOD AT HOME EC.
701
00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:25,606
OH, REALLY?
THAT'S USEFUL.
702
00:30:25,736 --> 00:30:26,955
RIGHT, IT IS.
703
00:30:27,129 --> 00:30:28,174
BECAUSE I WAS REALLY GOOD
AT MAKING ONE DISH.
704
00:30:28,304 --> 00:30:29,218
WHAT'S THAT?
705
00:30:29,349 --> 00:30:32,047
BEEF TENDERLOIN.
706
00:30:32,178 --> 00:30:34,310
EXTRA TENDER.
707
00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:37,183
DON'T DO IT.
DON'T DO IT!
708
00:30:42,928 --> 00:30:44,233
HERE YOU GO, NICK.
709
00:30:46,235 --> 00:30:49,151
THANK YOU.
710
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:58,247
[breathes deeply]
THIS SUCKS.
711
00:30:58,378 --> 00:31:01,033
SO THE SHEEP DOG SAYS,
"THE SHEEP DOG DON'T TALK."
712
00:31:01,163 --> 00:31:04,210
YOU GET IT?
713
00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,385
[Trudie]
NO.
714
00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:07,387
[laughter]
715
00:31:07,517 --> 00:31:08,867
OH, YOU DON'T GET IT?
716
00:31:08,997 --> 00:31:10,390
OH, NICE LOOK.
717
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,740
YEAH, REGANOMICS, HUH?
718
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:13,872
NO!
719
00:31:14,002 --> 00:31:15,438
[silverware clatters]
720
00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:16,831
[exhales]
721
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,573
I FORGOT THE EXTRA VIRGIN
OLIVE OIL.
722
00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:20,835
HOW COULD THAT
HAVE HAPPENED?
723
00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:31,280
I'D BE HAPPY TO GO
TO THE STORE FOR YOU.
724
00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:32,847
NO, MOM.
725
00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,632
I SHOULD GO.
IT'D BE RUDE TO SEND A GUEST.
726
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:37,199
IT IS A LONG DRIVE.
727
00:31:37,330 --> 00:31:39,767
NO, REALLY,
IT'D BE MY PLEASURE.
728
00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,421
WELL, NICK,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
729
00:31:41,551 --> 00:31:42,857
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
RICHARD WILL DRIVE.
730
00:31:42,988 --> 00:31:44,250
YOU GO WITH HIM.
MOM--
731
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:46,078
TRUDIE, TRUDIE, I'M GONNA
NEED YOUR HELP, HONEY.
732
00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:48,167
AND THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY
FOR THE MEN TO, YOU KNOW,
733
00:31:48,297 --> 00:31:49,646
HAVE SOME QUALITY TIME
TOGETHER.
734
00:31:49,777 --> 00:31:51,039
MOM!
GERTRUDE MARIE.
735
00:31:54,086 --> 00:31:57,567
WELL, COME ON, NICK.
RICHARD WILL DRIVE.
736
00:31:57,698 --> 00:32:00,440
YOU GO GET THE KEYS.
737
00:32:00,570 --> 00:32:01,658
THANK YOU!
738
00:32:08,361 --> 00:32:11,886
[Richard humming]
739
00:32:13,757 --> 00:32:15,672
THIS SHOULD UNDO
THE DAMAGE.
740
00:32:15,803 --> 00:32:17,500
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.
741
00:32:17,544 --> 00:32:19,938
WHO PERMS
THEIR HAIR ANYMORE?
742
00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:23,811
NO OFFENSE, BUT THIS
LOOK SAYS DESPERATE.
743
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,682
GUYS CAN TELL WHEN
YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD.
744
00:32:25,813 --> 00:32:27,684
SO YOU DATING ANYONE
AT LAW SCHOOL, KATIE?
745
00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,295
I'M DATING A FEW GUYS.
746
00:32:29,425 --> 00:32:30,383
KATIE!
747
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:32,820
I DIDN'T SAY I SLEPT
WITH THEM.
748
00:32:32,863 --> 00:32:34,691
I'M NOT A SLUT.
749
00:32:34,822 --> 00:32:36,519
I KNOW.
750
00:32:36,650 --> 00:32:39,696
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TRUDIE
HOOKED UP WITH NICK.
751
00:32:39,827 --> 00:32:41,611
HE IS SO HOT.
752
00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:44,136
OH, I JUST GAVE HIM
NO CHOICE...
753
00:32:44,266 --> 00:32:45,180
BUT TO LOVE ME.
754
00:32:45,311 --> 00:32:47,182
YEAH, WELL,
HE IS SOMETHING.
755
00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:48,662
HE'S WELL-SPOKEN.
HE'S SUCCESSFUL.
756
00:32:48,792 --> 00:32:49,663
HE'S HANDSOME.
757
00:32:49,793 --> 00:32:50,664
I THINK YOUR FATHER'S
758
00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:52,361
TAKEN A LIKING TO HIM.
759
00:32:52,492 --> 00:32:54,668
I'M SURE THEY'RE BONDING.
760
00:32:59,064 --> 00:33:00,891
[engine turns off]
761
00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:06,462
MISTER, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.
I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED.
762
00:33:06,593 --> 00:33:07,942
LET ME GUESS.
763
00:33:08,073 --> 00:33:10,989
BY A SEXY LADY
IN A PINK DRESS.
764
00:33:11,119 --> 00:33:13,165
YES, YES, YOU REMEMBER!
765
00:33:13,295 --> 00:33:15,515
AND SHE TIED YOU UP
AND BLINDFOLDED YOU.
766
00:33:15,645 --> 00:33:18,735
YES, YES, THAT'S RIGHT,
THAT'S RIGHT!
767
00:33:18,866 --> 00:33:21,695
AND SHE SPANKS YOU
AND DOES NAUGHTY THINGS.
768
00:33:22,130 --> 00:33:24,524
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
EW, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
769
00:33:24,654 --> 00:33:27,005
EXTRA VIRGIN
OLIVE OIL.
770
00:33:28,789 --> 00:33:30,573
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
771
00:33:30,704 --> 00:33:32,184
CAN YOU REALLY BE
AN EXTRA VIRGIN?
772
00:33:32,314 --> 00:33:33,837
[chuckling]
773
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:36,405
GOT A LITTLE WOMAN AT HOME
774
00:33:36,536 --> 00:33:39,713
LOVES TO HAVE EVERYTHING
LATHERED UP IN OIL.
775
00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:41,758
NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.
776
00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:43,804
THAT'S THE BEST THING
ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS.
777
00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:48,026
NO GUILT.
RIGHT, SON?
778
00:33:50,724 --> 00:33:51,681
OH.
779
00:33:55,816 --> 00:33:57,252
[pounding on door]
780
00:34:02,953 --> 00:34:05,086
WHERE IN GOD'S NAME
ARE WE?
781
00:34:05,217 --> 00:34:07,741
I'M FREEZING
MY TA-TAS OFF.
782
00:34:07,871 --> 00:34:09,612
WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS
TO YOU TOO, GRANDMA.
783
00:34:09,743 --> 00:34:11,092
OH, DON'T CALL ME THAT!
784
00:34:14,008 --> 00:34:16,532
UNH!
785
00:34:23,887 --> 00:34:25,367
ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN,
I'M NOT LEAVING HERE
786
00:34:25,498 --> 00:34:26,760
UNTIL YOU HELP ME!
787
00:34:27,021 --> 00:34:28,327
I'M COMING BACK THERE
AND I'M GONNA USE THAT PHONE.
788
00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,198
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY TROUBLE
789
00:34:30,329 --> 00:34:32,418
IN MY STORE,
SUPER FREAK.
790
00:34:32,548 --> 00:34:37,162
NOW BACK THAT ASS UP
NICE AND SLOW.
791
00:34:37,292 --> 00:34:39,947
[exhales]
792
00:34:51,045 --> 00:34:53,482
I'M GONNA TURN THE RADIO--
793
00:34:53,613 --> 00:34:57,443
[both screaming
and grunting]
794
00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:03,101
I'M BUSTING OUT OF HERE!
795
00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:05,755
CALM DOWN, SON!
796
00:35:05,799 --> 00:35:06,974
I JUST WANT
TO GO HOME!
797
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:08,628
OH, I KNOW.
798
00:35:08,758 --> 00:35:10,934
RELATIONSHIPS CAN SEEM
SUFFOCATING AT TIMES,
799
00:35:11,065 --> 00:35:12,762
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'LL PASS.
800
00:35:16,897 --> 00:35:19,900
NOW DON'T YOU WORRY.
THIS'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.
801
00:35:28,778 --> 00:35:30,476
THERE IT IS.
802
00:35:30,606 --> 00:35:31,999
[Jake]
SWEET.
803
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,479
DON'T TAKE THE PIECES
FROM MY SIDE, PLEASE.
804
00:35:33,609 --> 00:35:35,002
THERE'S PIECES
MISSING.
805
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,700
HI, HI.
HOW'D IT GO?
806
00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:39,049
[Richard]
EVERYTHING'S FINE,
HONEY.
807
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:40,790
YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
808
00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:42,052
[pants rip]
809
00:35:42,183 --> 00:35:43,706
[David grunts]
810
00:35:43,837 --> 00:35:45,404
[family chuckling]
UH-OH!
811
00:35:47,928 --> 00:35:50,452
OH, JUST LIKE
PAUL NEWMAN.
812
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:52,106
NICE, FIRM--
813
00:35:52,237 --> 00:35:53,107
GRANDMA!
814
00:35:53,238 --> 00:35:54,717
DOLORES GRANT.
815
00:35:54,848 --> 00:35:56,502
NICE TO MEET YOU.
816
00:35:56,632 --> 00:35:59,244
HEY, DUDE, I'VE GOT
SOME CLOTHES YOU CAN BORROW.
817
00:35:59,374 --> 00:36:00,636
COME ON.
818
00:36:00,767 --> 00:36:05,163
WHATEVER.
THANKS, MAN.
819
00:36:08,383 --> 00:36:09,471
[laughter]
820
00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:11,517
I DIDN'T LIKE THOSE PANTS
ANYWAY.
821
00:36:13,388 --> 00:36:16,174
HERE, TRY THOSE.
822
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,876
YOU HAVE A PHONE?
823
00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:26,096
YEAH.
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, THOUGH.
824
00:36:26,227 --> 00:36:27,924
YOU KNOW HOW MY MOM IS
ABOUT PHONES AT CHRISTMAS.
825
00:36:27,968 --> 00:36:29,883
HEH.
826
00:36:30,013 --> 00:36:32,494
UH, I NEED TO MAKE A CALL.
827
00:36:32,625 --> 00:36:34,409
COULD I BORROW IT
FOR A MINUTE?
828
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:36,542
SURE.
829
00:36:37,804 --> 00:36:38,848
THANKS.
830
00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:56,910
[knock]
I'LL BE OUT
IN A MINUTE!
831
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,391
LET'S GO IN THERE,
SUNSHINE.
832
00:36:59,521 --> 00:37:01,262
[Jessica's voice]
HI, YOU'VE REACHED
JESSICA'S VOICEMAIL.
833
00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:03,046
DAMN IT!
834
00:37:03,743 --> 00:37:07,181
[telephone ringing]
835
00:37:10,053 --> 00:37:13,405
MARIA.
836
00:37:13,535 --> 00:37:15,320
HELLO.
837
00:37:15,450 --> 00:37:17,017
MRS. BARBER, IT'S DAVID.
838
00:37:17,147 --> 00:37:19,802
HELLO, DARLING.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
839
00:37:19,846 --> 00:37:21,021
[David]
I WAS LOOKING FOR JESSICA,
840
00:37:21,151 --> 00:37:23,110
BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THAT NOW.
841
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,285
LISTEN, I'VE BEEN
TAKEN HOSTAGE!
842
00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:27,723
MARIA, I CAN'T
REACH MY DRINK!
843
00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:29,943
MRS. BARBER,
ARE YOU THERE?
844
00:37:30,073 --> 00:37:31,771
LET ME GET JESSICA
FOR YOU, DARLING.
845
00:37:31,814 --> 00:37:32,946
JESSICA!
846
00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:34,774
NO, NO, NO, MRS. BARBER,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
847
00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:36,645
MARIA.
848
00:37:36,776 --> 00:37:38,560
MARIA--AAH!
849
00:37:38,691 --> 00:37:41,171
OH, NO, MRS. BARBER.
850
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:42,521
NOT AGAIN.
851
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:45,828
HEY, WHERE'S NICK?
852
00:37:45,872 --> 00:37:47,090
HE'S ON THE PHONE.
853
00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:48,309
PHONE?
WHAT PHONE?
854
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,093
MY PHONE.
855
00:37:50,224 --> 00:37:52,182
OH!
OH, MAN!
856
00:37:55,142 --> 00:38:00,626
[telephone ringing]
857
00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:02,367
HELLO.
858
00:38:02,497 --> 00:38:05,021
JESSICA!
WHO'S THIS?
859
00:38:05,152 --> 00:38:06,458
IT'S DAVID.
860
00:38:06,588 --> 00:38:07,676
I'VE GOT SOMETHING
REALLY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
861
00:38:07,807 --> 00:38:09,461
REALLY?
862
00:38:09,591 --> 00:38:11,071
BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT
YOU HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT
863
00:38:11,201 --> 00:38:13,378
TO SAY YESTERDAY,
AND THEN YOU STOOD ME UP.
864
00:38:14,944 --> 00:38:16,772
IS MY BOYFRIEND
IN THERE?
865
00:38:16,816 --> 00:38:19,601
DAISY MAE HAS BEEN IN THERE
PRIMPING FOR TEN MINUTES.
866
00:38:19,732 --> 00:38:21,211
OPEN THIS DOOR!
867
00:38:21,342 --> 00:38:22,822
[Jessica]
I SKIPPED
MY GAMMA PI DELTA
868
00:38:22,952 --> 00:38:23,866
ALUMNI LUNCHEON
TO MEET YOU.
869
00:38:23,997 --> 00:38:25,041
JESSICA, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.
870
00:38:25,172 --> 00:38:27,696
AND I AM SURE
THAT BETSY PALMER
871
00:38:27,827 --> 00:38:28,958
JUMPED AT THE CHANCE
872
00:38:29,089 --> 00:38:30,699
TO CAMPAIGN FOR MY SPOT
AS SOCIAL CHAIR.
873
00:38:30,830 --> 00:38:32,745
OPEN THIS DOOR!
874
00:38:32,788 --> 00:38:35,443
I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE.
875
00:38:35,574 --> 00:38:37,402
HEY!
876
00:38:37,532 --> 00:38:39,665
I WAS KIDNAPPED
FROM THE RESTAURANT YESTERDAY
877
00:38:39,795 --> 00:38:40,840
BY A WAITRESS.
878
00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:41,971
SHE'S ABOUT 5'2".
879
00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:44,060
SHE'S GOT CRAZY HAIR
AND CRAZY EYES.
880
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,891
IF THIS IS YOUR WAY
OF GETTING OUT
881
00:38:49,022 --> 00:38:50,110
OF CHRISTMAS EVE
WITH MY PARENTS--
882
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:51,241
[David]
LISTEN TO ME!
883
00:38:51,372 --> 00:38:53,418
I'M COUPLE HOURS
OUTSIDE THE CITY.
884
00:38:53,548 --> 00:38:55,028
NORTH, I THINK.
885
00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:58,248
IT'S A LOG CABIN.
SIX PLUS FOUR, RUSTIC CHARM.
886
00:38:58,379 --> 00:39:00,076
ARE YOU DRUNK?
887
00:39:00,207 --> 00:39:01,643
PLEASE, SWEETHEART,
I LOVE YOU.
888
00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:04,429
THE IMPORTANT THING
YESTERDAY?
889
00:39:04,559 --> 00:39:05,734
I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE.
890
00:39:05,865 --> 00:39:08,781
PROPOSE?
891
00:39:08,824 --> 00:39:12,872
GO TO THE POLICE AND
TELL THEM WHAT'S HAPPENED.
892
00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:14,830
JESSICA, ARE YOU THERE?!
893
00:39:14,874 --> 00:39:17,572
OH.
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
894
00:39:17,703 --> 00:39:19,400
YES!
895
00:39:20,836 --> 00:39:23,491
I HAVE TO GO.
896
00:39:34,415 --> 00:39:36,374
DID YOU TALK
TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE?
897
00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:38,898
NOPE, COULDN'T GET ANY
RECEPTION IN THE BATHROOM.
898
00:39:39,028 --> 00:39:41,379
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE.
899
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,382
OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I DID.
900
00:39:44,512 --> 00:39:46,906
AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIME NOW
901
00:39:47,036 --> 00:39:50,083
UNTIL I'M BROKEN OUT
OF THIS ASYLUM.
902
00:39:50,213 --> 00:39:52,607
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
903
00:39:52,738 --> 00:39:53,826
UNTIL THAT TIME,
904
00:39:53,956 --> 00:39:55,393
I'VE DECIDED
I'M GONNA HELP YOU.
905
00:39:56,568 --> 00:39:58,787
I'M GONNA BE THE BEST
BOYFRIEND EVER,
906
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:01,007
AND YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA
FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.
907
00:40:01,137 --> 00:40:03,662
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
908
00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:06,273
BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE
MORE SATISFYING FOR ME
909
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:08,797
WHEN YOUR FAMILY LEARNS
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU.
910
00:40:12,671 --> 00:40:14,673
[exhales]
911
00:40:19,721 --> 00:40:21,331
[David]
YOU HAVE TO SWING YOUR HIPS
912
00:40:21,462 --> 00:40:22,681
IN CONJUNCTION
WITH YOUR SHOULDERS.
913
00:40:22,811 --> 00:40:23,812
IF YOU WATCH TIGER,
IT'S ALL CONNECTED.
914
00:40:23,856 --> 00:40:26,336
ONE FLUID MOTION.
THERE YOU GO.
915
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:28,077
PLAYING THROUGH!
916
00:40:28,208 --> 00:40:29,383
[Richard]
OKAY.
917
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,386
SO WHAT IS IT
YOU DO, NICK?
918
00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:34,867
I WORK FOR A REAL ESTATE
DEVELOPMENT COMPANY.
919
00:40:34,997 --> 00:40:37,086
REALLY, WHICH ONE?
BARBER AND PARTNERS.
920
00:40:37,130 --> 00:40:39,611
I KNOW BARBER AND PARTNERS.
THAT'S A GOOD COMPANY.
921
00:40:39,741 --> 00:40:41,569
MY FIRM DID
SOME LEGAL WORK FOR YOU
922
00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,092
ON THE PINEHURST CONDOS.
OH, OKAY.
923
00:40:43,223 --> 00:40:44,398
WHAT DO YOU THERE?
924
00:40:44,529 --> 00:40:48,141
I'M A VICE PRESIDENT
OF NEW BUSINESS.
925
00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:49,490
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME
WE THOUGHT TRUDIE,
926
00:40:49,621 --> 00:40:51,231
WITH ALL HER CAUSES,
MIGHT GO TO LAW SCHOOL
927
00:40:51,361 --> 00:40:52,406
LIKE HER SISTER KATIE.
928
00:40:52,537 --> 00:40:56,018
BEING A DEMOCRAT IS NOT
A CAUSE, DAD.
929
00:40:56,149 --> 00:40:58,020
BUT SHE GOT HER DEGREE
IN LIBERAL ARTS.
930
00:40:58,151 --> 00:40:59,848
FINE ARTS, DAD.
931
00:40:59,979 --> 00:41:01,415
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
932
00:41:01,546 --> 00:41:03,156
IT'S AN EXPENSIVE
WAY TO SAY,
933
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:04,244
"DO YOU WANT FRIES
WITH THAT?"
934
00:41:04,374 --> 00:41:07,943
[chuckling]
935
00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:10,555
OH, HOMEMADE ORNAMENTS.
936
00:41:10,685 --> 00:41:13,209
YEAH, TRUDIE MADE THAT
WHEN SHE WAS FIVE.
937
00:41:13,340 --> 00:41:14,820
SHE WAS A LITTLE WITHDRAWN
AS A CHILD.
938
00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:15,995
OKAY, MOM.
939
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:17,562
YOU KNOW,
HER BROTHER AND SISTER
940
00:41:17,692 --> 00:41:19,259
ARE SO OUTGOING
AND HAD SO MANY FRIENDS.
941
00:41:19,302 --> 00:41:22,044
BUT TRUDIE WAS--I DON'T KNOW--
A LITTLE ANTISOCIAL.
942
00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:24,003
REALLY?
943
00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:25,395
WE EVEN PAID A LITTLE BOY
DOWN THE STREET
944
00:41:25,570 --> 00:41:27,223
TO BE HER FRIEND,
BUT HE GAVE US OUR MONEY BACK.
945
00:41:27,354 --> 00:41:30,139
ALL RIGHT!
946
00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:32,533
SO FROM THEN ON IT WAS
TRUDIE AND HER PROJECTS.
947
00:41:32,664 --> 00:41:34,666
AND OF COURSE BOBO BLONKERS.
948
00:41:34,796 --> 00:41:37,451
BOBO BLONKERS?
949
00:41:37,582 --> 00:41:38,974
HER IMAGINARY FRIEND.
950
00:41:39,105 --> 00:41:41,020
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS A LOT.
951
00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:42,238
WHAT?
WHAT WAS THAT?
952
00:41:42,456 --> 00:41:44,502
ARE YOU TALKING
TO BOBO BLONKERS RIGHT NOW?
953
00:41:44,632 --> 00:41:45,720
I HAVE AN IDEA.
954
00:41:45,851 --> 00:41:47,113
WHY DON'T WE LET NICK
955
00:41:47,243 --> 00:41:48,636
PUT THE ANGEL UP
ON THE TREE THIS YEAR?
956
00:41:48,767 --> 00:41:49,855
UM, MOM...
957
00:41:50,159 --> 00:41:52,814
I'VE BEEN DOING IT
SINCE I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD.
958
00:41:52,945 --> 00:41:54,250
REMEMBER WHEN DAD
USED TO HOLD ME UP
959
00:41:54,424 --> 00:41:56,383
TO THE TOP OF THE TREE
AND I WAS SO CUTE UP THERE?
960
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:57,819
I KNOW, HONEY.
DON'T BE SELFISH.
961
00:41:59,734 --> 00:42:01,083
DAD, IT'S MY THING.
962
00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:02,824
I MEAN, THIS IS MY MOMENT.
963
00:42:02,955 --> 00:42:03,999
YOU KNOW, IT'S TRADITION.
964
00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:05,523
DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT
THAT ANYMORE?
965
00:42:05,653 --> 00:42:07,525
TRUDIE, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH STARTING A NEW TRADITION?
966
00:42:07,655 --> 00:42:09,788
NICK, UP THE TREE.
967
00:42:09,918 --> 00:42:12,051
OH, THANKS.
ALL RIGHT.
968
00:42:12,834 --> 00:42:14,401
THANK YOU.
969
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:15,402
YEAH.
970
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:19,058
HEY, THERE SHE IS.
971
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:22,148
[all shouting
and laughing]
972
00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:40,949
WOO!
973
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,169
[all cheering]
974
00:42:51,264 --> 00:42:52,918
[David]
WOW, THIS IS REALLY
A GREAT PLACE.
975
00:42:53,048 --> 00:42:55,224
YOU KNOW, THERE'S
AN INCREDIBLE CRAFTSMANSHIP
976
00:42:55,355 --> 00:42:58,184
THAT GOES INTO A CABIN
LIKE THIS.
977
00:42:58,314 --> 00:43:00,578
I'D SAY THIS IS ADIRONDACK STYLE
WITH A CONTEMPORARY TWIST.
978
00:43:00,708 --> 00:43:02,710
YES, IN THE ADIRONDACKS,
979
00:43:02,841 --> 00:43:05,408
I STARRED
IN A REVIVAL OF MEDEA.
980
00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:07,062
YES, WE KNOW THAT,
MOTHER!
981
00:43:07,193 --> 00:43:08,716
YOU DON'T NEED
TO SHOUT, DEAR.
982
00:43:08,847 --> 00:43:10,326
I'M NOT DEAF.
983
00:43:13,025 --> 00:43:14,809
NICK, WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE?
984
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:15,941
SURE.
985
00:43:17,072 --> 00:43:19,335
TRUDIE, WOULD YOU GET HIM
ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE, PLEASE?
986
00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,773
WELL, HE KNOWS
WHERE THE KITCHEN IS.
987
00:43:22,861 --> 00:43:25,733
ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN CHRISTMAS?
988
00:43:27,779 --> 00:43:30,782
OH, THANK YOU,
BUNNYKINS!
989
00:43:30,825 --> 00:43:32,871
[chuckling]
990
00:43:33,001 --> 00:43:35,961
NICK, EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE,
991
00:43:36,091 --> 00:43:38,311
WE READ 'TWAS THE NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
992
00:43:38,441 --> 00:43:39,747
AND I WAS WONDERING
IF MAYBE
993
00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:41,444
YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO
THE HONORS.
994
00:43:41,575 --> 00:43:44,752
[family cheers
and applauds]
995
00:43:44,796 --> 00:43:46,798
REALLY?
OH, WOW.
996
00:43:47,581 --> 00:43:48,843
OKAY.
997
00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:52,412
THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
998
00:43:52,891 --> 00:43:54,632
WHOA.
999
00:43:58,287 --> 00:44:01,421
UH, I'M GONNA--YEAH.
1000
00:44:02,944 --> 00:44:05,555
YEAH, SMART.
1001
00:44:09,342 --> 00:44:11,039
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
1002
00:44:11,170 --> 00:44:12,214
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH ME?
1003
00:44:12,345 --> 00:44:13,346
THEY'RE FAWNING
ALL OVER YOU
1004
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:14,782
LIKE THE LAST PIECE
OF FILET MIGNON.
1005
00:44:14,913 --> 00:44:16,001
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED.
1006
00:44:16,131 --> 00:44:17,306
ISN'T THAT THE WHOLE
POINT OF ALL THIS?
1007
00:44:17,437 --> 00:44:19,178
YEAH, BUT--
BUT WHAT?
1008
00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:22,007
MY FAMILY LIKES YOU
1009
00:44:22,137 --> 00:44:24,836
MORE THAN...THEY LIKE ME.
1010
00:44:29,579 --> 00:44:31,016
WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT
TO READ THE STUPID STORY.
1011
00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:32,800
SO DON'T READ THE STORY.
1012
00:44:32,844 --> 00:44:34,584
I DON'T CARE
IF YOU READ THE STORY.
1013
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:36,021
WELL, THEN FINE.
1014
00:44:36,151 --> 00:44:38,414
THEN I'M GONNA READ
THE STORY.
1015
00:44:38,545 --> 00:44:39,415
FINE.
1016
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:42,070
FINE.
1017
00:44:42,201 --> 00:44:44,856
[moaning]
1018
00:44:44,986 --> 00:44:47,902
[Richard]
LOVE THIS PIE.
1019
00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:51,514
[moaning]
1020
00:44:51,645 --> 00:44:53,212
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
1021
00:44:53,342 --> 00:44:55,040
YEAH, IT'S FINE, MOM.
1022
00:44:55,170 --> 00:44:56,955
[David]
THANK YOU.
1023
00:44:57,085 --> 00:44:59,044
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
1024
00:44:59,174 --> 00:45:01,699
"TWAS THE NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
1025
00:45:01,829 --> 00:45:03,788
"WHEN ALL THROUGH
THE HOUSE
1026
00:45:03,918 --> 00:45:05,311
"NOT A CREATURE
WAS STIRRING,
1027
00:45:05,441 --> 00:45:07,008
"NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
1028
00:45:07,139 --> 00:45:10,708
"THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG
BY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE
1029
00:45:10,838 --> 00:45:15,408
"IN HOPES THAT ST. NICHOLAS
SOON WOULD BE THERE.
1030
00:45:15,538 --> 00:45:18,454
"THE CHILDREN WERE NESTLED
ALL SNUG IN THEIR BEDS
1031
00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:22,284
WHILE VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS
DANCED IN THEIR HEADS."
1032
00:45:22,415 --> 00:45:25,244
[sentimental music]
1033
00:45:25,374 --> 00:45:27,942
♪
1034
00:45:28,073 --> 00:45:30,031
[laughter and applause]
1035
00:45:30,075 --> 00:45:32,251
WELL DONE!
1036
00:45:36,255 --> 00:45:38,213
MOM, WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE
OREOS AND MILK
1037
00:45:38,344 --> 00:45:39,432
FOR SANTA THIS YEAR.
1038
00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:41,956
WHAT IF SANTA'S HUNGRY?
1039
00:45:42,087 --> 00:45:43,653
WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY?
MM-HMM.
1040
00:45:45,177 --> 00:45:47,440
MOM, COME ON,
WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE.
1041
00:45:47,570 --> 00:45:48,789
WE DON'T HAVE TO WRITE
LETTERS.
1042
00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:50,573
HOW IS SANTA GOING TO KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT?
1043
00:45:53,925 --> 00:45:55,709
GOOD NIGHT.
1044
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,711
GOOD NIGHT.
1045
00:45:57,842 --> 00:45:59,757
HMM.
1046
00:46:01,367 --> 00:46:03,325
YOU CAN'T EAT THOSE.
1047
00:46:03,456 --> 00:46:04,413
WHAT'S IT GONNA LOOK LIKE
1048
00:46:04,544 --> 00:46:07,155
IF SANTA DOESN'T EAT
HIS COOKIES?
1049
00:46:07,286 --> 00:46:09,462
FIGURES YOU'RE A DUNKER.
1050
00:46:09,592 --> 00:46:10,637
OF COURSE.
1051
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,204
WHAT ARE YOU,
A TWISTER?
1052
00:46:12,334 --> 00:46:14,815
THAT'S SO WRONG
IN SO MANY WAYS.
1053
00:46:14,946 --> 00:46:17,209
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
THIS OVER WITH.
1054
00:46:20,255 --> 00:46:21,517
OH, THIS SO DUMB.
1055
00:46:21,648 --> 00:46:24,216
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING
MUCH FROM SANTA.
1056
00:46:24,346 --> 00:46:25,826
A FEDERAL OFFENSE
PROBABLY PUTS YOU
1057
00:46:25,957 --> 00:46:28,698
ON THE NAUGHTY LIST
THIS YEAR.
1058
00:46:28,829 --> 00:46:30,831
LAUGH IT UP.
YOU'VE GOTTA DO ONE TOO.
1059
00:46:30,962 --> 00:46:32,224
HMM?
1060
00:46:34,052 --> 00:46:35,793
THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE.
1061
00:46:43,757 --> 00:46:47,021
I'M GONNA ASK FOR A NEW
FULLY LOADED S.U.V.
1062
00:46:47,152 --> 00:46:48,675
HMM, INTERESTING.
1063
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,809
I'M GONNA ASK FOR AN END
TO GLOBAL WARMING.
1064
00:46:52,026 --> 00:46:53,593
WHAT, YOU THINK MY LIST
IS SUPERFICIAL?
1065
00:46:53,723 --> 00:46:54,812
I DON'T KNOW.
LET ME SEE IT.
1066
00:46:54,942 --> 00:46:56,378
NO.
1067
00:46:56,509 --> 00:46:58,293
YOU WANT A PASTA MACHINE?
1068
00:46:58,424 --> 00:46:59,947
I LIKE TO COOK.
1069
00:47:00,078 --> 00:47:03,081
DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING
MORE, YOU KNOW, MEANINGFUL?
1070
00:47:03,211 --> 00:47:05,518
I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT.
1071
00:47:05,648 --> 00:47:07,955
GREAT JOB.
BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND.
1072
00:47:13,918 --> 00:47:15,484
LET ME SEE YOURS.
1073
00:47:15,615 --> 00:47:19,053
"TIKI LIGHTS.
CHINESE TEA POT.
1074
00:47:19,184 --> 00:47:23,188
STOP DISAPPOINTING
MY PARENTS."
1075
00:47:25,190 --> 00:47:27,453
COME ON, I'M SURE
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
1076
00:47:27,583 --> 00:47:29,847
BELIEVE ME, IT'S TRUE.
1077
00:47:29,977 --> 00:47:31,718
LOOK, YOUR PARENTS
ARE GOOD PEOPLE.
1078
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:33,546
AND THEY LOVE YOU.
1079
00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:37,942
I JUST WISH FOR ONCE
THEY'D LOOK AT ME...
1080
00:47:38,551 --> 00:47:40,596
YOU KNOW, THE WAY
THEY LOOK AT YOU.
1081
00:47:41,075 --> 00:47:42,642
THEY DO.
1082
00:47:42,772 --> 00:47:43,861
THEY DON'T.
1083
00:47:46,559 --> 00:47:48,604
THE BEST CHRISTMAS
I EVER HAD, I WAS TEN.
1084
00:47:48,735 --> 00:47:50,563
I WAS TAKING
FIGURE SKATING LESSONS,
1085
00:47:50,693 --> 00:47:51,999
AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THIS BIG RECITAL
1086
00:47:52,130 --> 00:47:53,044
ON CHRISTMAS EVE.
1087
00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:54,915
THERE WAS
THIS HUGE SNOWSTORM
1088
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:55,916
AND THEY CANCELLED IT.
1089
00:47:56,047 --> 00:47:58,876
OH, I WAS SO UPSET.
1090
00:47:59,006 --> 00:48:00,965
BUT OUR HOUSE HAD
THIS PATIO IN THE BACK,
1091
00:48:01,095 --> 00:48:02,227
AND MY DAD SHOVELED IT
1092
00:48:02,357 --> 00:48:05,099
AND RAN THE HOSE OVER IT
AND MADE ICE.
1093
00:48:05,230 --> 00:48:08,059
AND MY MOM PUT LIGHTS IN ALL
THE TREES IN THE BACKYARD.
1094
00:48:08,189 --> 00:48:11,149
OH, THE GLOW WAS
SO BEAUTIFUL.
1095
00:48:12,454 --> 00:48:14,369
AND IT WAS SO QUIET.
1096
00:48:15,718 --> 00:48:18,025
AND THAT CHRISTMAS EVE,
I SKATED MY LITTLE ROUTINE
1097
00:48:18,156 --> 00:48:19,897
WITH MY PARENTS WATCHING.
1098
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,292
IT WAS LIKE I WAS THE ONLY
PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
1099
00:48:24,423 --> 00:48:26,555
THEY WERE SO PROUD OF ME.
1100
00:48:27,948 --> 00:48:30,211
BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY
THINGS CHANGED,
1101
00:48:31,952 --> 00:48:34,912
AND I JUST...WISH
THEY STILL FELT THAT WAY
1102
00:48:35,042 --> 00:48:37,349
ABOUT ME, YOU KNOW?
1103
00:48:41,135 --> 00:48:43,050
YOU KNOW,
I THINK PARENTS
1104
00:48:43,181 --> 00:48:45,270
WANT THE BEST
FOR THEIR KIDS.
1105
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,100
BUT SOMETIMES THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
1106
00:48:53,582 --> 00:48:55,845
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
HIDE THE EVIDENCE.
1107
00:49:08,249 --> 00:49:11,513
[Christmas rock music
playing]
1108
00:49:11,644 --> 00:49:13,863
[laughter and chattering]
1109
00:49:13,994 --> 00:49:16,475
HELLO!
1110
00:49:16,605 --> 00:49:17,867
HELLO?
1111
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,739
HELLO!
1112
00:49:19,869 --> 00:49:22,524
EXCUSE ME, THERE'S
A CONCERNED CITIZEN HERE
1113
00:49:22,655 --> 00:49:25,310
WHO NEEDS HELP
FROM HER CIVIL SERVANTS.
1114
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,834
YOO-HOO!
HEY!
1115
00:49:27,877 --> 00:49:29,749
[chattering stops]
1116
00:49:29,879 --> 00:49:32,056
SOMEBODY BETTER
PAY ATTENTION TO ME.
1117
00:49:32,186 --> 00:49:34,493
SHE'S ALL YOURS, PAL.
1118
00:49:36,886 --> 00:49:39,498
LET ME GUESS.
DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE?
1119
00:49:40,803 --> 00:49:43,806
NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1120
00:49:43,937 --> 00:49:46,113
I'M HERE TO REPORT
A KIDNAPPING.
1121
00:49:47,723 --> 00:49:50,857
♪ DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
1122
00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:53,381
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH ♪
1123
00:49:53,512 --> 00:49:56,210
[family chattering]
1124
00:49:57,777 --> 00:49:59,735
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1125
00:49:59,866 --> 00:50:02,042
MOTHER, ISN'T IT
A LITTLE EARLY?
1126
00:50:02,173 --> 00:50:04,436
EARLY FOR WHO,
SUGAR BRITCHES?
1127
00:50:04,566 --> 00:50:06,307
I HAVE TO SPEND
ANOTHER ENTIRE DAY
1128
00:50:06,438 --> 00:50:07,787
TRAPPED WITH
YOU YAHOOS.
1129
00:50:07,830 --> 00:50:10,398
MAMA'S GONNA NEED
A LITTLE HELP.
1130
00:50:11,312 --> 00:50:12,922
OKAY.
1131
00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:15,186
EVERYBODY, HERE'S
THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY.
1132
00:50:15,316 --> 00:50:16,709
JAKE AND KATIE, YOU'LL BE
ON KITCHEN DUTY WITH ME.
1133
00:50:16,839 --> 00:50:18,493
RICHARD,
YOU'RE CHOPPING FIREWOOD.
1134
00:50:18,624 --> 00:50:21,105
MOTHER--
HMM?
1135
00:50:21,148 --> 00:50:23,020
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
1136
00:50:23,150 --> 00:50:26,588
TRUDIE, YOU AND NICK
GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME FUN.
1137
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:28,286
I'VE LEFT SOME WARM JACKETS
AND STUFF BY THE BACK DOOR.
1138
00:50:28,416 --> 00:50:31,506
PRESENTS ARE AT 4:00.
DINNER WILL BE AT 7:00.
1139
00:50:31,637 --> 00:50:33,030
THAT'S IT!
1140
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,684
YOU KNOW, ABOUT LAST NIGHT,
1141
00:50:35,815 --> 00:50:38,600
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET
PERSONAL, AND, YOU KNOW--
1142
00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:43,910
WHAT?
1143
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,999
OH, MY GOD.
NEVER MIND.
1144
00:50:46,782 --> 00:50:47,827
WHAT?
1145
00:50:49,263 --> 00:50:50,482
THAT'S GREAT.
1146
00:50:50,612 --> 00:50:52,005
YOU'RE JUST
CHECKING OUT MY SISTER.
1147
00:50:52,136 --> 00:50:53,833
I MEAN, WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE?
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
1148
00:50:53,876 --> 00:50:55,487
SHE'S GORGEOUS
AND GRACEFUL AND--
1149
00:50:55,617 --> 00:50:57,619
YOUR SISTER IS
VERY LIMBER.
1150
00:50:57,750 --> 00:50:59,621
UGH.
1151
00:50:59,752 --> 00:51:01,188
YOU'RE JEALOUS.
1152
00:51:01,319 --> 00:51:02,972
I AM NOT!
ARE TOO.
1153
00:51:03,016 --> 00:51:04,496
AM NOT!
ARE TOO!
1154
00:51:04,626 --> 00:51:05,584
AM NOT!
1155
00:51:07,455 --> 00:51:08,369
DO RICH KIDS
EVEN PLAY HOCKEY?
1156
00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:10,241
I PLAYED MY FAIR SHARE.
1157
00:51:10,371 --> 00:51:11,546
WELL, I'VE BEEN PLAYING
WITH MY BROTHER
1158
00:51:11,677 --> 00:51:12,808
SINCE I COULD WALK,
SO LET'S GO.
1159
00:51:12,852 --> 00:51:15,985
[soft rock music]
1160
00:51:16,116 --> 00:51:17,813
[laughing]
YES!
1161
00:51:17,944 --> 00:51:19,076
OH.
1162
00:51:19,206 --> 00:51:20,686
I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY.
1163
00:51:23,689 --> 00:51:25,212
UNH!
OH!
1164
00:51:25,343 --> 00:51:26,692
YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
1165
00:51:26,822 --> 00:51:28,563
YEAH, COME ON.
1166
00:51:31,697 --> 00:51:33,394
UNH! UNH!
1167
00:51:37,572 --> 00:51:38,878
[David]
SORRY.
1168
00:51:39,008 --> 00:51:40,793
YOU KNOW, I GOTTA
GIVE IT TO YOU.
1169
00:51:40,836 --> 00:51:42,447
YOU'RE PRETTY SCRAPPY.
1170
00:51:42,577 --> 00:51:43,752
UM, I THINK YOU'VE HAD
ENOUGH FOR NOW.
1171
00:51:43,796 --> 00:51:45,189
[chuckling]
1172
00:51:46,799 --> 00:51:48,453
SO WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR FUN?
1173
00:51:48,583 --> 00:51:49,628
FOR FUN?
1174
00:51:49,758 --> 00:51:52,109
YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE YOU
INTERESTED IN?
1175
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:53,936
I PAINT.
REALLY?
1176
00:51:54,067 --> 00:51:55,808
WHAT KIND OF PAINTINGS?
1177
00:51:55,938 --> 00:51:57,592
PORTRAITS MOSTLY.
1178
00:51:57,723 --> 00:52:00,117
YOU KNOW, LIKE
POST-IMPRESSIONIST STUFF.
1179
00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:01,901
IT'S A FOCUS ON COLOR
OVER LINE--
1180
00:52:02,031 --> 00:52:03,511
I KNOW WHAT
POST-IMPRESSIONISM IS.
1181
00:52:03,642 --> 00:52:06,427
LIKE CEZANNE, OR MORE
LIKE ALICE NEEL?
1182
00:52:06,558 --> 00:52:09,082
I LOVE ALICE NEEL.
YOU KNOW ALICE NEEL?
1183
00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:12,259
YOU SHOULDN'T JUMP
TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT PEOPLE.
1184
00:52:12,390 --> 00:52:14,435
SO WHAT DO YOU BESIDES
BUILD COOKIE CUTTER
1185
00:52:14,566 --> 00:52:15,915
CONDOMINIUMS
FOR THE MASSES?
1186
00:52:16,872 --> 00:52:19,658
I DIDN'T START OUT
TO DO THAT.
1187
00:52:19,788 --> 00:52:21,790
I ACTUALLY STUDIED
ARCHITECTURE.
1188
00:52:21,834 --> 00:52:24,271
FOR A WHILE THERE I THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA GO OUT ON MY OWN.
1189
00:52:24,402 --> 00:52:25,968
WHY DIDN'T YOU?
1190
00:52:26,012 --> 00:52:27,883
WELL, IT'S RISKY,
AND THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT
1191
00:52:28,014 --> 00:52:29,146
UNLESS YOU'RE ESTABLISHED.
1192
00:52:29,276 --> 00:52:30,712
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR PARENTS?
1193
00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:32,584
WOULDN'T THEY HAVE
HELPED YOU GET STARTED?
1194
00:52:32,714 --> 00:52:33,846
YEAH, THEY WOULD'VE
1195
00:52:33,889 --> 00:52:35,326
IF THEY HAD TWO NICKELS
TO RUB TOGETHER.
1196
00:52:35,456 --> 00:52:37,719
THEY WERE BOTH
SCHOOL TEACHERS.
1197
00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:40,374
THEY DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT
WHEN I WAS NINE.
1198
00:52:40,505 --> 00:52:43,899
OH...I'M SO SORRY.
1199
00:52:44,030 --> 00:52:46,424
BUT YOU SAID
YOU GREW UP WELL OFF.
1200
00:52:46,554 --> 00:52:48,077
NO, YOU DID.
1201
00:52:48,208 --> 00:52:49,514
I LIVED WITH MY GRANDFATHER
1202
00:52:49,644 --> 00:52:52,343
IN A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT
UNTIL I WAS 18.
1203
00:52:52,473 --> 00:52:55,650
I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
MOWING LAWNS FOR THE CITY.
1204
00:52:55,781 --> 00:52:57,478
THAT MUST'VE BEEN TOUGH.
1205
00:52:57,609 --> 00:53:00,351
YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY
HELPED ME IN CERTAIN WAYS.
1206
00:53:00,481 --> 00:53:02,875
I LEARNED AT ANY EARLY AGE
THAT WE'RE ALL ON OUR OWN.
1207
00:53:16,323 --> 00:53:18,020
WOULD YOU GO, PLEASE?
1208
00:53:18,151 --> 00:53:19,761
DON'T RUSH ME.
1209
00:53:27,943 --> 00:53:29,597
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
1210
00:53:29,728 --> 00:53:31,686
HA!
1211
00:53:33,949 --> 00:53:35,299
HA.
1212
00:53:35,429 --> 00:53:37,214
AW, THAT'S TOO BAD.
1213
00:53:37,344 --> 00:53:39,825
MAKING A MOVE LIKE THAT
MUST BE KILLING YOU.
1214
00:53:39,868 --> 00:53:41,653
HEY!
1215
00:53:41,783 --> 00:53:43,872
WHY DO YOU KEEP
HITTING YOURSELF?
[giggling]
1216
00:53:44,003 --> 00:53:45,222
SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
1217
00:53:45,352 --> 00:53:46,962
TRUDIE, I'M STARTING
TO WORRY ABOUT YOU NOW.
1218
00:53:47,093 --> 00:53:48,225
OH, MY GOSH, YOU HAVE
TO STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.
1219
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:49,748
STOP!
1220
00:53:49,791 --> 00:53:51,228
GIVE IT BACK.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT.
1221
00:53:51,358 --> 00:53:52,707
BUT YOU DID IT.
IT'S DONE.
1222
00:53:52,838 --> 00:53:53,839
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
1223
00:53:53,969 --> 00:53:55,101
YOU CAN'T TAKE
SOMETHING BACK
1224
00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:58,322
ONCE IT'S
ALREADY DONE.
1225
00:53:58,452 --> 00:54:00,802
EVEN IF YOU REALIZE
RIGHT AWAY
1226
00:54:00,933 --> 00:54:03,631
IT WAS WRONG
AND...YOU'RE SORRY?
1227
00:54:07,635 --> 00:54:08,897
FINE.
1228
00:54:09,855 --> 00:54:12,466
BUT KNOW
THAT YOU'RE A CHEATER.
1229
00:54:16,557 --> 00:54:17,950
SUCH A CHEATER.
1230
00:54:22,171 --> 00:54:24,173
I'M GONNA GO GET
SOME MILK FOR THESE.
1231
00:54:26,698 --> 00:54:28,743
IT'S COVERED IN STONES--
1232
00:54:28,874 --> 00:54:30,354
OH, OH!
1233
00:54:32,791 --> 00:54:35,837
OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT INTO
PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION.
1234
00:54:35,968 --> 00:54:37,099
RIGHT.
1235
00:54:37,230 --> 00:54:38,492
COME ON, DON'T BE
SUCH A PRUDE.
1236
00:54:38,623 --> 00:54:39,754
YEAH, SORRY.
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
1237
00:54:39,798 --> 00:54:41,452
IT'S MISTLETOE.
1238
00:54:48,285 --> 00:54:50,374
[humming Wedding March]
1239
00:54:50,504 --> 00:54:52,289
MOM!
1240
00:54:52,419 --> 00:54:55,292
I'LL GET THE MILK.
1241
00:54:55,422 --> 00:54:58,817
OH, THIS IS IT.
THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
1242
00:54:58,947 --> 00:55:02,299
AREN'T YOU GONNA
DRAW YOUR GUNS?
1243
00:55:02,429 --> 00:55:04,344
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
1244
00:55:04,475 --> 00:55:05,824
WELCOME TO TAJ'S
DINER DELUXE.
1245
00:55:05,867 --> 00:55:09,393
WE HAVE A DELICIOUS
HO-HO HOT DOG SPECIAL TODAY.
1246
00:55:09,523 --> 00:55:11,133
WE'RE NOT HERE TO EAT.
1247
00:55:11,264 --> 00:55:12,613
WE'RE HERE
BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND
1248
00:55:12,657 --> 00:55:15,747
WAS KIDNAPPED BY ONE
OF YOUR WAITRESSES YESTERDAY.
1249
00:55:15,790 --> 00:55:17,966
YEAH, FEMALE, 5'2",
1250
00:55:18,097 --> 00:55:20,012
CRAZY HAIR, CRAZY EYES.
1251
00:55:20,142 --> 00:55:22,710
YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO FITS
THAT DESCRIPTION?
1252
00:55:22,841 --> 00:55:23,972
APPARENTLY HE WAS TAKEN
AT GUNPOINT.
1253
00:55:24,146 --> 00:55:26,671
DO YOU KNOW WHERE
SHE MAY HAVE GOTTEN A GUN?
1254
00:55:26,801 --> 00:55:29,108
OH, UH, NO, NO.
1255
00:55:29,238 --> 00:55:30,892
NO, I DON'T KNOW--
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
1256
00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:40,772
MOM, ISN'T IT TIME
FOR PRESENTS?
1257
00:55:40,815 --> 00:55:41,816
OH, IS IT?
1258
00:55:41,860 --> 00:55:43,514
IT'S 4:00 P.M.
HMM.
1259
00:55:43,644 --> 00:55:44,863
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1260
00:55:44,993 --> 00:55:46,647
OH, I'M FOLDING
YOUR FATHER'S JOCKEY SHORTS.
1261
00:55:46,778 --> 00:55:49,433
SOMETIMES I HAVE DREAMS
1262
00:55:49,563 --> 00:55:52,305
THAT HUNDREDS OF PAIRS
OF UNDERWEAR ENVELOPE ME.
1263
00:55:52,436 --> 00:55:55,090
DO YOU EVER HAVE
DREAMS LIKE THAT?
1264
00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:57,354
NO.
MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
1265
00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:01,140
DO YOU KNOW THAT
YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY MAN
1266
00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:03,447
I HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH?
1267
00:56:03,577 --> 00:56:06,101
HAVE YOU SLEPT
WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN?
1268
00:56:06,232 --> 00:56:08,539
[exhales]
NO.
1269
00:56:08,669 --> 00:56:09,844
OF COURSE YOU HAVE.
1270
00:56:09,975 --> 00:56:11,063
IT'S THE WAY
OF THE MODERN WORLD.
1271
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,761
YOU BOINK A WHOLE LOT
OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
1272
00:56:13,805 --> 00:56:16,982
YOU DON'T JUST PICK ONE
AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.
1273
00:56:18,331 --> 00:56:21,203
WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S TIME FOR PRESENTS.
1274
00:56:21,334 --> 00:56:22,509
COME ON.
1275
00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:27,035
OH, HONEY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
1276
00:56:27,166 --> 00:56:29,821
YES, OKAY,
LET'S GO, GO, GO.
1277
00:56:29,864 --> 00:56:32,867
[clock ticking]
1278
00:56:57,370 --> 00:56:59,677
NICK, TIME FOR PRESENTS!
1279
00:56:59,807 --> 00:57:02,984
GRANDMA.
JAKE.
1280
00:57:03,115 --> 00:57:04,638
THANK YOU.
1281
00:57:04,769 --> 00:57:07,293
HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING
STRANGE ABOUT MOM?
1282
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:09,251
LIKE MORE THAN USUAL?
1283
00:57:09,382 --> 00:57:10,644
YEAH, I JUST HAD A WEIRD
CONVERSATION WITH HER,
1284
00:57:10,775 --> 00:57:14,300
AND I THINK SHE MIGHT NOT
BE SO HAPPY WITH DAD.
1285
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,520
WHAT?
THAT'S CRAZY.
1286
00:57:16,563 --> 00:57:17,564
SHE USED THE WORD "BOINK."
1287
00:57:17,695 --> 00:57:19,436
EW.
YEAH.
1288
00:57:19,566 --> 00:57:25,050
NICK, FOR YOU.
TRUDIE, FOR YOU.
1289
00:57:25,180 --> 00:57:27,052
CAN I?
1290
00:57:27,182 --> 00:57:29,228
MM-HMM.
NICK'S GONNA--
1291
00:57:29,358 --> 00:57:30,882
[Richard]
IT'S A BACK SCRUBBER!
1292
00:57:31,012 --> 00:57:33,232
[Katherine]
EXFOLIATION IS
THE KEY TO GOOD SKIN.
1293
00:57:33,362 --> 00:57:34,799
YEAH, COOL.
1294
00:57:34,842 --> 00:57:35,974
[Trudie]
WOW, GOOD JOB, MOM.
1295
00:57:36,104 --> 00:57:37,976
THANK YOU.
1296
00:57:43,764 --> 00:57:45,505
IT JUST LIGHTS UP YOUR FACE.
1297
00:57:45,636 --> 00:57:46,637
PINK.
1298
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,813
SMILE!
[Christmas rock music]
1299
00:57:48,856 --> 00:57:49,814
OH, BEAUTIFUL.
1300
00:57:49,857 --> 00:57:52,164
ALL RIGHT.
1301
00:57:52,294 --> 00:57:53,295
[Richard]
GOTTA LOOK THE PART, SON.
1302
00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:54,819
GREED IS GOOD.
1303
00:57:54,862 --> 00:57:56,516
WOW.
1304
00:57:56,647 --> 00:57:58,126
[Katherine]
YOUR DAD FOUND THAT.
1305
00:57:58,170 --> 00:58:00,128
IT LISTS EVERY LAW FIRM
IN AMERICA.
1306
00:58:00,259 --> 00:58:01,478
OKAY.
1307
00:58:01,608 --> 00:58:03,088
[Katherine]
WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING
1308
00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:04,393
YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
UNDERWEAR.
1309
00:58:04,524 --> 00:58:07,353
OH, MY GOSH.
THIS IS REALLY HEAVY.
1310
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:10,791
OH, GREAT
FOR TIGHTENING SCREWS.
1311
00:58:14,229 --> 00:58:15,535
EWW...
1312
00:58:15,666 --> 00:58:17,842
[Katie]
I PICKED THAT OUT.
1313
00:58:17,972 --> 00:58:20,409
OH, TRUDIE, ONE MORE GIFT.
IT'S FOR YOU.
1314
00:58:33,466 --> 00:58:35,250
WELL, WE JUST THOUGHT THAT--
1315
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:37,644
YEAH.
1316
00:58:37,775 --> 00:58:38,906
[Richard]
HEY, LOOK, TRUDIE,
1317
00:58:38,950 --> 00:58:40,168
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY
1318
00:58:40,212 --> 00:58:42,170
WITH MR. PORTNOY, BUT...
1319
00:58:42,301 --> 00:58:44,869
[exhales]
I THINK IT'S TIME TO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS.
1320
00:58:44,999 --> 00:58:46,697
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1321
00:58:46,827 --> 00:58:48,612
YOU NEED TO GROW UP
AND GET FOCUSED
1322
00:58:48,742 --> 00:58:50,918
ON A LEGITIMATE CAREER.
1323
00:58:51,049 --> 00:58:52,267
YOU'RE UNSETTLED.
YOU'RE UNFOCUSED.
1324
00:58:52,398 --> 00:58:53,965
YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING
TO DO REALLY WELL.
1325
00:58:54,095 --> 00:58:56,837
BUT I HAVE, I DO.
IT'S PAINTING.
1326
00:58:56,968 --> 00:58:58,273
I MEAN, IT'S THE ONLY THING
I CARE ABOUT.
1327
00:58:58,404 --> 00:58:59,971
IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ME.
1328
00:59:00,101 --> 00:59:02,626
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
1329
00:59:02,756 --> 00:59:04,192
RIGHT NOW.
1330
00:59:04,323 --> 00:59:05,890
YOU CAN PAINT,
OR DRAW, OR COLOR
1331
00:59:06,020 --> 00:59:07,326
IN YOUR SPARE TIME.
1332
00:59:07,456 --> 00:59:08,762
I AM TALKING ABOUT
YOUR LIFE HERE.
1333
00:59:08,806 --> 00:59:10,503
SO AM I!
1334
00:59:10,634 --> 00:59:12,418
DON'T YOU WANT TO DO
SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE?
1335
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:13,854
YES, BUT--
1336
00:59:13,985 --> 00:59:15,639
HONEY, WE JUST--WE WERE
JUST TRYING TO HELP.
1337
00:59:23,298 --> 00:59:25,910
UM, MR. CHANDLER,
1338
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,695
IF YOU DON'T MIND ME
SAYING, SIR,
1339
00:59:28,826 --> 00:59:31,393
I'VE SEEN TRUDIE'S PAINTING.
1340
00:59:31,524 --> 00:59:32,656
AND, WELL,
1341
00:59:32,786 --> 00:59:36,137
THEY'RE RAW
AND EXPRESSIVE.
1342
00:59:36,268 --> 00:59:40,577
COMPLEX AND, WELL,
A LITTLE STRANGE.
1343
00:59:40,707 --> 00:59:44,189
BUT...REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
1344
00:59:48,802 --> 00:59:50,935
AND...
1345
00:59:51,065 --> 00:59:53,241
I HAVE ONE MORE
GIFT FOR HER.
1346
00:59:59,552 --> 01:00:01,162
GERTRUDE CHANDLER...
1347
01:00:01,293 --> 01:00:02,163
OH!
1348
01:00:02,294 --> 01:00:03,730
OH!
1349
01:00:03,774 --> 01:00:05,036
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
1350
01:00:10,911 --> 01:00:12,521
YES.
1351
01:00:17,309 --> 01:00:19,050
OH, MY!
1352
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:21,661
OH, MY!
1353
01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:23,228
OH, MY GOSH!
1354
01:00:23,358 --> 01:00:25,534
THIS IS
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT
1355
01:00:25,665 --> 01:00:28,059
YOU COULD EVER GIVE ME!
1356
01:00:28,189 --> 01:00:30,627
I'M SO EXCITED!
1357
01:00:30,757 --> 01:00:32,716
OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO START
PLANNING THE WEDDING!
1358
01:00:32,846 --> 01:00:34,369
SON.
1359
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:36,545
CONGRATULATIONS.
1360
01:00:36,676 --> 01:00:39,244
OKAY, UM, NEXT ON THE AGENDA
IS DINNER IN THREE HOURS.
1361
01:00:39,374 --> 01:00:40,941
SO, UM...
[laughter]
1362
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:42,769
I'M SORRY.
1363
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:44,292
EVERYBODY JUST GET CHANGED
AND DO WHATEVER.
1364
01:00:44,423 --> 01:00:47,948
AND WE'LL MEET BACK
IN THE DINNING ROOM AT 7:00.
1365
01:00:49,602 --> 01:00:51,038
THAT'S IT!
1366
01:00:58,263 --> 01:01:02,180
I DON'T--
THAT WAS...SOMETHING.
1367
01:01:02,310 --> 01:01:03,703
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED
1368
01:01:03,834 --> 01:01:05,705
WE MAY AS WELL GIVE THEM
ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.
1369
01:01:05,836 --> 01:01:07,576
AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE
MORE HOURS, RIGHT?
1370
01:01:07,707 --> 01:01:08,926
THANK YOU.
1371
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,061
I ASSUME YOU MADE UP
THE PART ABOUT THE PAINTINGS.
1372
01:01:14,192 --> 01:01:15,976
I SAW YOUR ALBUM.
1373
01:01:16,107 --> 01:01:17,935
IT WAS STICKING OUT
OF YOUR PURSE.
1374
01:01:18,065 --> 01:01:20,589
OH, YOU WERE LOOKING
IN MY BAG?
1375
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:22,374
WELL, THE KEYS
AREN'T THERE.
1376
01:01:22,504 --> 01:01:24,550
NO, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
RELAX.
1377
01:01:25,899 --> 01:01:27,509
SO DO YOU JUST CARRY
AN ENGAGEMENT RING
1378
01:01:27,553 --> 01:01:29,163
IN YOUR POCKET
ALL THE TIME?
1379
01:01:29,294 --> 01:01:30,687
YEAH.
1380
01:01:31,035 --> 01:01:32,036
RIGHT.
1381
01:01:34,342 --> 01:01:37,737
WELL, LOOK, I JUST
WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY
1382
01:01:37,781 --> 01:01:40,566
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
1383
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,177
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
1384
01:01:43,308 --> 01:01:46,528
IT HASN'T BEEN THAT BAD.
1385
01:01:46,659 --> 01:01:48,095
WELL, IF YOU CAN JUST
HANG IN THERE
1386
01:01:48,226 --> 01:01:49,793
THROUGH CHRISTMAS DINNER,
I PROMISE I'LL TAKE YOU
1387
01:01:49,923 --> 01:01:52,230
WHEREVER YOU WANT
TO GO TOMORROW.
1388
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:53,927
HEH!
1389
01:01:59,846 --> 01:02:02,240
HEY, MOM, CAN I HELP YOU
WITH ANYTHING?
1390
01:02:02,370 --> 01:02:03,589
OH, YEAH.
1391
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:04,851
YOU CAN BUNDLE UP
AND TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE.
1392
01:02:04,982 --> 01:02:06,679
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
HONEY.
1393
01:02:12,685 --> 01:02:13,773
HEY.
1394
01:02:13,817 --> 01:02:15,688
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT HERE?
1395
01:02:15,819 --> 01:02:17,603
I'M JUST ENJOYING
A LITTLE DOWN TIME.
1396
01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:20,562
HMM, WELL...
1397
01:02:20,693 --> 01:02:21,955
[cans and glass rattle]
1398
01:02:22,086 --> 01:02:24,218
THAT SOUNDS GOOD
TO ME.
1399
01:02:25,002 --> 01:02:27,221
HEY.
WANT ONE?
1400
01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:28,745
YEAH.
1401
01:02:31,356 --> 01:02:33,924
SO YOU'RE ENGAGED.
1402
01:02:34,054 --> 01:02:35,360
MAN.
1403
01:02:36,317 --> 01:02:37,884
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU,
TRUD.
1404
01:02:38,015 --> 01:02:39,016
THANK YOU.
1405
01:02:42,236 --> 01:02:43,150
YOU KNOW--
1406
01:02:43,542 --> 01:02:45,022
I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS
FOR ME SOMEDAY.
1407
01:02:45,152 --> 01:02:46,806
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IT HAS HAPPENED FOR YOU.
1408
01:02:46,850 --> 01:02:47,807
JEN'S GREAT.
1409
01:02:47,938 --> 01:02:49,766
YEAH, ABOUT THAT.
1410
01:02:49,809 --> 01:02:51,245
UM...
1411
01:02:51,376 --> 01:02:54,248
JEN AND I BROKE UP
LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO.
1412
01:02:54,553 --> 01:02:55,641
SHUT UP.
1413
01:02:56,468 --> 01:02:58,470
AND I'VE STARTED SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE.
1414
01:02:58,600 --> 01:02:59,776
SHUT UP!
1415
01:03:01,386 --> 01:03:03,780
AND HIS NAME IS RYAN.
1416
01:03:03,910 --> 01:03:05,782
OH, MY GOSH.
1417
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:09,786
WELL, YOU KNOW...
1418
01:03:10,874 --> 01:03:12,789
I THINK MAYBE I KNEW.
1419
01:03:12,919 --> 01:03:14,791
YEAH, I KNEW.
1420
01:03:14,921 --> 01:03:16,880
WHAT?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
1421
01:03:17,010 --> 01:03:18,533
COME ON,
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
1422
01:03:18,664 --> 01:03:20,971
I MEAN, I GUESS
I KIND OF KNEW, BUT--
1423
01:03:21,101 --> 01:03:22,494
WELL, DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW?
1424
01:03:22,624 --> 01:03:25,236
[exhales]
1425
01:03:25,366 --> 01:03:27,107
I THOUGHT I'D TELL
EVERYONE AT DINNER.
1426
01:03:28,065 --> 01:03:30,850
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
1427
01:03:30,894 --> 01:03:32,460
[laughter]
1428
01:03:49,695 --> 01:03:51,828
DOLORES!
1429
01:03:58,225 --> 01:04:00,227
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1430
01:04:00,358 --> 01:04:02,577
I'M GOING TO BACK
TO THE CITY
1431
01:04:02,708 --> 01:04:05,015
TO GET A DECENT STEAK
AND A COGNAC.
1432
01:04:05,145 --> 01:04:06,668
YOU CAN'T DRIVE.
GIVE ME THE KEYS.
1433
01:04:06,799 --> 01:04:09,715
YOU WANT TO COME ALONG
FOR THE RIDE, ROSEBUD?
1434
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:13,632
COME ON, LET'S BLOW THIS
RINKY DINK LOG CABIN.
1435
01:04:13,675 --> 01:04:16,113
[engine starts]
DOLORES!
1436
01:04:16,243 --> 01:04:18,332
[screaming]
1437
01:04:22,293 --> 01:04:24,861
[loud crash]
1438
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,821
OH, MY GOD.
1439
01:04:28,952 --> 01:04:31,606
GRAMS?
1440
01:04:31,737 --> 01:04:35,001
OH, MY GOSH.
ARE YOU OKAY, GRANDMA?
1441
01:04:35,132 --> 01:04:38,048
DON'T TOUCH ME
AND DON'T CALL ME THAT.
1442
01:04:38,178 --> 01:04:39,701
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1443
01:04:39,832 --> 01:04:41,268
YEAH.
1444
01:04:41,399 --> 01:04:43,880
WHAT HAPPENED TO "I'M NOT
TRYING TO ESCAPE ANYMORE?"
1445
01:04:44,010 --> 01:04:47,100
I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE
SHE DIDN'T HURT HERSELF.
1446
01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:49,320
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY.
1447
01:04:51,844 --> 01:04:54,064
[rock music
playing in background]
1448
01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:56,631
I SWEAR TO GOD,
MARY HAD BETTER BE GIVING BIRTH
1449
01:04:56,675 --> 01:04:58,720
TO BABY JESUS
OUTSIDE THE--
1450
01:04:58,851 --> 01:05:01,593
OH, JUST AS GOOD.
POLICE OFFICERS--
1451
01:05:01,723 --> 01:05:03,290
[Steve]
COME ON, MRS. CLAUS.
1452
01:05:03,421 --> 01:05:05,031
IT'S TIME FOR STEVIE-WEVIE
TO OPEN ANOTHER PRESENT.
1453
01:05:05,162 --> 01:05:08,992
CUT IT OUT, STEVE!
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
1454
01:05:09,122 --> 01:05:11,646
THE OWNER SAID THAT
YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND.
1455
01:05:12,517 --> 01:05:14,258
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE THEY WENT.
1456
01:05:14,388 --> 01:05:15,476
SHE JUST TOOK OFF.
1457
01:05:15,607 --> 01:05:17,652
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE CATCH HER,
1458
01:05:17,783 --> 01:05:19,524
YOU'LL BE PUT AWAY TOO
1459
01:05:19,654 --> 01:05:21,656
FOR ACCESSORY
TO KIDNAPPING,
1460
01:05:21,787 --> 01:05:22,962
OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE.
1461
01:05:23,093 --> 01:05:26,313
IT'S--
IT'S NOT HER FAULT.
1462
01:05:26,444 --> 01:05:27,836
IT'S MEN.
1463
01:05:31,188 --> 01:05:33,581
THEY DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY.
1464
01:05:47,769 --> 01:05:50,859
OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S OKAY.
1465
01:05:50,990 --> 01:05:53,601
I, UM, JUST...
1466
01:05:53,732 --> 01:05:56,648
NEEDED THE, UH, THE...
1467
01:05:56,778 --> 01:05:59,042
TOOTHPASTE.
1468
01:06:00,608 --> 01:06:01,958
UH...
1469
01:06:04,438 --> 01:06:05,700
HERE YOU GO.
1470
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:07,789
DO YOU--DO YOU NEED
TO TAKE A SHOWER?
1471
01:06:07,833 --> 01:06:10,705
NO, I'LL WAIT TILL
YOU'RE DRY.
1472
01:06:10,836 --> 01:06:13,621
DRESSED.
DONE.
1473
01:06:15,188 --> 01:06:18,017
WHEW!
OKAY.
1474
01:06:19,888 --> 01:06:22,935
WELL, I SHOULD
PROBABLY GO NOW.
1475
01:06:25,024 --> 01:06:26,808
PROBABLY.
1476
01:06:35,165 --> 01:06:36,470
[exhales]
1477
01:06:39,430 --> 01:06:41,606
[exhales]
1478
01:06:54,314 --> 01:06:56,142
[knock on door]
1479
01:06:59,798 --> 01:07:02,453
I DIDN'T, UH, MEAN
TO SCARE YOU OFF BACK THERE.
1480
01:07:02,583 --> 01:07:04,629
YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME OFF.
1481
01:07:04,759 --> 01:07:07,284
YOU LOOK GREAT.
1482
01:07:09,808 --> 01:07:10,983
SO DO YOU.
1483
01:07:11,114 --> 01:07:13,812
COME ON, I WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
1484
01:07:17,816 --> 01:07:19,774
I'M NOT GIVING YOU
A REMATCH RIGHT NOW.
1485
01:07:19,818 --> 01:07:22,821
HOLD ON
JUST ONE SECOND.
1486
01:07:22,864 --> 01:07:24,040
HUH?
1487
01:07:25,867 --> 01:07:27,565
OKAY, PUT THESE ON, PLEASE.
1488
01:07:27,695 --> 01:07:28,827
IT'S ALMOST DINNERTIME,
1489
01:07:28,957 --> 01:07:29,915
AND I'M IN A DRESS,
YOU MORON.
1490
01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:31,917
PLEASE SHUT UP.
SHUT UP?
1491
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:33,832
JUST PUT THESE ON.
1492
01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,225
FINE.
1493
01:07:45,844 --> 01:07:47,933
WHOA.
1494
01:07:58,030 --> 01:08:00,119
OH, MY GOSH.
1495
01:08:00,250 --> 01:08:03,340
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID ALL THIS.
1496
01:08:06,169 --> 01:08:09,694
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
1497
01:08:09,824 --> 01:08:12,479
YOU'RE WELCOME.
1498
01:08:12,610 --> 01:08:14,786
BUT YOU OWE ME
SOMETHING IN RETURN.
1499
01:08:14,829 --> 01:08:15,874
WHAT?
1500
01:08:16,004 --> 01:08:17,397
A SHOW.
1501
01:08:17,528 --> 01:08:19,573
NO WAY.
COME ON.
1502
01:08:19,704 --> 01:08:21,358
I WANT TO SEE
THIS INFAMOUS ROUTINE.
1503
01:08:21,488 --> 01:08:23,447
REALLY?
1504
01:08:23,490 --> 01:08:25,188
OKAY, BUT IF YOU LAUGH...
1505
01:08:27,929 --> 01:08:30,323
[heartfelt music]
1506
01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:38,418
♪
1507
01:09:08,274 --> 01:09:10,885
[O Tannenbaum
playing in background]
1508
01:09:11,016 --> 01:09:12,278
THANK YOU.
1509
01:09:12,409 --> 01:09:14,759
[family chattering]
1510
01:09:14,802 --> 01:09:17,675
WARM BREAD.
1511
01:09:17,805 --> 01:09:18,850
YOUR TIE'S CROOKED.
1512
01:09:18,980 --> 01:09:19,851
YOU TIED IT.
1513
01:09:19,981 --> 01:09:21,635
IT'S STILL CROOKED.
1514
01:09:24,638 --> 01:09:26,466
OH!
1515
01:09:31,036 --> 01:09:32,690
MOM?
HMM?
1516
01:09:32,820 --> 01:09:34,170
AREN'T YOU GONNA MAKE
YOUR ANNUAL TOAST?
1517
01:09:36,563 --> 01:09:38,739
OH, I'M HUNGRY.
LET'S JUST EAT.
1518
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,223
UM, EXCUSE ME.
1519
01:09:44,354 --> 01:09:46,356
I, UH,
I HAVE SOMETHING
1520
01:09:46,399 --> 01:09:48,096
I'D LIKE TO SHARE
WITH EVERYONE.
1521
01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:50,708
ACTUALLY...
1522
01:09:50,838 --> 01:09:53,101
I HAVE SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO SAY FIRST.
1523
01:09:53,232 --> 01:09:54,973
IT'S ABOUT SCHOOL.
1524
01:09:55,103 --> 01:09:56,192
OH.
1525
01:09:56,322 --> 01:09:58,324
I'M NOT GOING
TO LAW SCHOOL.
1526
01:10:00,457 --> 01:10:01,371
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
1527
01:10:02,763 --> 01:10:04,852
IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME.
1528
01:10:04,983 --> 01:10:06,680
I DROPPED OUT
LAST SEMESTER.
1529
01:10:06,811 --> 01:10:07,899
LAST SEMESTER?
1530
01:10:08,029 --> 01:10:10,380
WELL, WHAT HAVE
YOU BEEN DOING
1531
01:10:10,510 --> 01:10:12,556
WITH ALL THE TUITION
THAT I'VE BEEN SENDING?
1532
01:10:12,686 --> 01:10:14,688
I USED IT
AS A DOWN PAYMENT.
1533
01:10:14,819 --> 01:10:16,951
DOWN PAYMENT.
ON WHAT?
1534
01:10:17,082 --> 01:10:19,693
ON A PILATES STUDIO
IN CALIFORNIA.
1535
01:10:19,824 --> 01:10:21,129
PILATES?
1536
01:10:21,260 --> 01:10:23,131
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
1537
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:24,350
SOMEBODY TRANSLATE THAT.
1538
01:10:24,481 --> 01:10:27,310
DAD, IT'S GREAT.
1539
01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:29,703
IT'S A TYPE OF EXERCISE
MIXING BALLET TECHNIQUES
1540
01:10:29,747 --> 01:10:32,010
WITH YOGA, USED TO STRETCH
AND LENGTHEN THE MUSCLES.
1541
01:10:32,967 --> 01:10:35,535
MOVING TO THE LAND
OF FRUITS AND NUTS.
1542
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:36,754
GONNA LAY AROUND ALL DAY
AND STRETCH.
1543
01:10:36,797 --> 01:10:39,104
[Katherine laughing]
1544
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,455
I THINK IT'S VERY CREATIVE.
1545
01:10:42,586 --> 01:10:43,804
KUDOS, KATIE.
1546
01:10:43,935 --> 01:10:45,415
THANKS, MOM.
1547
01:10:45,545 --> 01:10:47,678
WHAT--WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1548
01:10:47,808 --> 01:10:49,897
OUR DAUGHTER'S JUST MADE
A FOOL OUT OF US.
1549
01:10:50,028 --> 01:10:52,900
YEAH, YOU DID PUT ONE OVER
ON US, DIDN'T YOU?
1550
01:10:53,031 --> 01:10:54,511
[Richard laughing
nervously]
1551
01:10:54,641 --> 01:10:56,295
NO, YOU'RE NOT DROPPING
OUT OF SCHOOL.
1552
01:10:56,426 --> 01:10:57,949
NO, THAT'S NOT
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
1553
01:10:58,079 --> 01:10:59,211
I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
1554
01:10:59,342 --> 01:11:00,343
YOU'RE GONNA GET
THE MONEY BACK.
1555
01:11:00,473 --> 01:11:02,954
AND YOU'RE GONNA RE-ENROLL.
1556
01:11:03,084 --> 01:11:05,435
OH, LIGHTEN UP, DICK.
1557
01:11:15,009 --> 01:11:16,272
UM, AHEM.
1558
01:11:16,402 --> 01:11:20,928
EVERYONE, I, UH, I WANT
TO SAY SOMETHING TOO.
1559
01:11:22,321 --> 01:11:24,149
I'M GAY.
1560
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,803
[spitting]
1561
01:11:25,846 --> 01:11:27,587
[laughter]
1562
01:11:27,718 --> 01:11:28,980
OH, HONEY, I KNOW!
1563
01:11:43,037 --> 01:11:45,475
FOR GOD'S SAKE, KATHERINE,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
1564
01:11:45,605 --> 01:11:47,477
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
1565
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:48,913
HUH?
LET ME THINK.
1566
01:11:49,130 --> 01:11:52,090
UM, I HATE THE WAY YOU MOAN
WHEN YOU CHEW YOUR FOOD.
1567
01:11:52,133 --> 01:11:53,744
WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1568
01:11:53,787 --> 01:11:56,486
[imitating Richard moaning]
1569
01:11:56,616 --> 01:11:57,530
IT'S DISGUSTING!
1570
01:11:57,661 --> 01:11:58,618
IT MAKES ME WANT
TO THROW UP.
1571
01:11:58,749 --> 01:12:00,925
AND ALSO I HATE
THAT WE NEVER
1572
01:12:01,055 --> 01:12:03,493
TALK ABOUT
ANYTHING IMPORTANT!
1573
01:12:03,623 --> 01:12:07,235
MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE WE ALL
LIVE IN YOUR WORLD, KATHERINE.
1574
01:12:07,366 --> 01:12:09,325
A WORLD WHERE NOBODY CAN SAY
ANYTHING HONEST
1575
01:12:09,455 --> 01:12:12,371
BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE
UPSETTING!
1576
01:12:12,502 --> 01:12:15,418
YOU ARE THE PUPPET MASTER
AND I AM YOUR LITTLE CLOWN!
1577
01:12:15,548 --> 01:12:16,810
BOO!
1578
01:12:16,854 --> 01:12:19,117
STOP IT!
GOD, YOU TWO!
1579
01:12:19,247 --> 01:12:20,727
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
1580
01:12:20,858 --> 01:12:22,338
YOU THINK I'M CONTROLLING?
1581
01:12:22,468 --> 01:12:24,818
YOU ARE THE ASS WHO IS
FORCING YOUR CHILDREN
1582
01:12:24,949 --> 01:12:26,516
TO BECOME MINI VERSIONS
OF YOURSELF!
1583
01:12:26,646 --> 01:12:27,691
THIS ISN'T MY WORLD.
1584
01:12:27,821 --> 01:12:29,127
BECAUSE IF THIS WAS MY WORLD,
1585
01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:30,824
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PICTURE
CLINT EASTWOOD
1586
01:12:30,868 --> 01:12:33,392
JUST TO GET THROUGH
OUR ANNUAL BIRTHDAY SEX!
1587
01:12:33,740 --> 01:12:34,698
OH!
1588
01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:52,063
AREN'T YOU GLAD
YOU'RE GAY?
1589
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:55,675
EVERYBODY FREEZE!
1590
01:12:55,806 --> 01:12:57,590
[family shouting]
1591
01:12:57,721 --> 01:12:59,375
FREEZE!
CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY.
1592
01:12:59,505 --> 01:13:00,985
JUST RELAX.
1593
01:13:01,115 --> 01:13:02,378
WAIT.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
1594
01:13:02,595 --> 01:13:04,728
REASON TO BELIEVE THAT WOMAN
IS GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING.
1595
01:13:04,858 --> 01:13:05,990
THAT CAN'T BE.
THAT'S ABSURD.
1596
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:08,209
KIDNAPPING?
WHO?
1597
01:13:08,340 --> 01:13:09,646
DAVID MARTIN.
1598
01:13:09,776 --> 01:13:11,038
WHO'S DAVID MARTIN?
1599
01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:17,784
NO, THAT'S
HER BOYFRIEND, NICK.
1600
01:13:17,828 --> 01:13:21,135
NO, MOM.
IT'S NOT.
1601
01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:27,011
I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND.
1602
01:13:29,492 --> 01:13:31,624
[Jake]
THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.
1603
01:13:31,755 --> 01:13:34,801
I DON'T KNOW
WHO BROUGHT HOME THE BACON,
1604
01:13:34,845 --> 01:13:36,324
BUT I'M GONNA
FRY IT UP IN A PAN!
1605
01:13:36,455 --> 01:13:38,936
MOTHER, NO!
1606
01:13:39,066 --> 01:13:40,198
SOMEBODY HAS TO PROTECT
THIS FAMILY,
1607
01:13:40,328 --> 01:13:41,808
AND IT LOOKS AS THOUGH
IT'S GOT TO BE ME!
1608
01:13:41,852 --> 01:13:43,070
MA'AM, PUT THE GUN DOWN.
1609
01:13:43,201 --> 01:13:44,507
SHE HAVING A CIVIL WAR
FLASHBACK?
1610
01:13:44,637 --> 01:13:46,422
SHE'S JUST HAD A LITTLE
TOO MUCH EGGNOG.
1611
01:13:46,552 --> 01:13:48,380
UM, SHE'S AN ACTRESS.
1612
01:13:48,511 --> 01:13:50,426
AND THE GUN IS PROBABLY
JUST A PROP.
1613
01:13:50,556 --> 01:13:53,211
YOU TAKE THE BIG ONE.
1614
01:13:53,341 --> 01:13:55,039
DOLORES.
1615
01:13:56,823 --> 01:13:59,347
OH.
1616
01:13:59,478 --> 01:14:01,393
OH...
1617
01:14:03,395 --> 01:14:07,399
I-I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE.
1618
01:14:09,793 --> 01:14:11,882
I KNOW.
[sobbing]
1619
01:14:16,626 --> 01:14:18,279
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1620
01:14:21,369 --> 01:14:24,242
[blues-rock music
playing]
1621
01:14:24,372 --> 01:14:27,811
♪
1622
01:14:29,029 --> 01:14:32,293
♪ YOU WERE THE PRESENT
1623
01:14:32,424 --> 01:14:36,602
♪ UNDER MY TREE...
1624
01:14:37,037 --> 01:14:38,865
MOM--
1625
01:14:38,996 --> 01:14:41,477
KIDNAPPING?
1626
01:14:41,607 --> 01:14:43,130
KIDNAPPING?!
1627
01:14:43,261 --> 01:14:44,218
MOM, LOOK AT ME.
1628
01:14:44,349 --> 01:14:47,178
WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
1629
01:14:47,308 --> 01:14:48,484
WAS I NOT GOOD MOTHER?
1630
01:14:48,614 --> 01:14:49,789
YEAH, OF COURSE YOU WERE.
1631
01:14:49,833 --> 01:14:50,790
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
1632
01:14:50,921 --> 01:14:53,140
NO, WE WON'T TALK
ABOUT IT.
1633
01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:54,402
DAD--
1634
01:14:54,533 --> 01:14:56,796
NOT NOW, TRUDIE.
1635
01:15:00,321 --> 01:15:02,846
POOR SCHMUCK DIDN'T
PRESS CHARGES.
1636
01:15:02,976 --> 01:15:05,849
[door buzzer]
1637
01:15:05,979 --> 01:15:07,067
YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
1638
01:15:07,198 --> 01:15:08,721
[Dolores]
THANK GOD.
1639
01:15:15,075 --> 01:15:16,599
[Katie]
BYE.
1640
01:15:22,474 --> 01:15:25,564
UH, NOT YOU, GRAMBO.
1641
01:15:25,695 --> 01:15:27,566
WHY, OFFICER!
1642
01:15:28,175 --> 01:15:29,742
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
1643
01:15:31,309 --> 01:15:33,746
[female officer]
ONE CHANGE PURSE.
1644
01:15:33,790 --> 01:15:35,618
ONE CAN OPENER/KEYCHAIN.
1645
01:15:35,748 --> 01:15:38,229
COMES IN HANDIER
THAN YOU THINK.
1646
01:15:38,359 --> 01:15:42,581
ONE--HOLY CRAP!
LOOK AT THAT ROCK.
1647
01:15:42,712 --> 01:15:44,975
GIRL, YOU HOLD ON
TO THAT MAN.
1648
01:15:48,456 --> 01:15:50,633
YEAH.
1649
01:15:50,763 --> 01:15:54,462
♪ ONE DAY I'LL WALK IN
1650
01:15:54,593 --> 01:15:57,988
♪ HAND IN HAND
1651
01:15:58,118 --> 01:16:02,340
♪ IN THE SUN AND
1652
01:16:02,383 --> 01:16:08,433
♪ YOU AND I ARE TALKING
1653
01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:11,262
♪ REALIZE
1654
01:16:11,392 --> 01:16:17,703
♪ WE'VE BEGUN...
1655
01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:19,009
HI.
1656
01:16:19,139 --> 01:16:20,619
HEY.
1657
01:16:20,750 --> 01:16:23,796
JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS
FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES.
1658
01:16:25,406 --> 01:16:28,845
I CAN'T SAY I EVER IMAGINED
SAYING THAT IN A SENTENCE.
1659
01:16:28,975 --> 01:16:31,891
HEH.
IS--IS EVERYONE OKAY?
1660
01:16:32,022 --> 01:16:33,197
YEAH, THEY'RE FINE.
1661
01:16:33,327 --> 01:16:36,156
THEY'RE NOT TOO HAPPY
WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
1662
01:16:36,287 --> 01:16:39,638
I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME.
1663
01:16:39,769 --> 01:16:41,379
I WANTED TO GIVE THIS
BACK TO YOU.
1664
01:16:41,509 --> 01:16:43,903
THANKS.
1665
01:16:43,947 --> 01:16:46,166
LISTEN...
1666
01:16:46,297 --> 01:16:49,996
THIS WHOLE SITUATION
IS SORT OF CONFUSING.
1667
01:16:50,127 --> 01:16:51,084
BUT I WANTED TO SAY--
1668
01:16:51,302 --> 01:16:53,173
DAVID, LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE, HONEY.
1669
01:16:53,304 --> 01:16:55,698
UH, GIVE ME
ONE MINUTE, OKAY?
1670
01:16:55,828 --> 01:16:57,700
WHO'S THIS?
1671
01:16:57,830 --> 01:17:00,833
IS THIS HER?
1672
01:17:00,964 --> 01:17:02,182
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE.
1673
01:17:02,313 --> 01:17:03,836
LOOK, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
1674
01:17:03,967 --> 01:17:05,577
AGAIN TO BOTH OF YOU--
SAVE IT.
1675
01:17:05,708 --> 01:17:06,883
YOU AND YOUR BAND
OF HOOLIGANS
1676
01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:08,885
WOULD STILL BE IN JAIL
IF IT WERE UP TO ME.
1677
01:17:09,712 --> 01:17:11,191
LET'S GO.
1678
01:17:14,804 --> 01:17:16,327
I, UH--
1679
01:17:16,457 --> 01:17:17,633
DAVID.
1680
01:17:22,376 --> 01:17:23,639
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
1681
01:17:23,769 --> 01:17:26,642
YEAH, YOU TOO.
1682
01:17:34,998 --> 01:17:39,132
♪ I AM NOT CRAZY
1683
01:17:39,263 --> 01:17:41,787
♪ AND I
1684
01:17:41,831 --> 01:17:45,486
♪ I KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE KNOWN... ♪
1685
01:17:50,013 --> 01:17:53,712
SURE YOU DON'T WANT
YOUR OLD JOB BACK?
1686
01:17:53,843 --> 01:17:55,714
YOU WANT LUNCH?
1687
01:17:55,845 --> 01:17:56,759
SURE.
1688
01:17:56,802 --> 01:17:59,762
HERE.
1689
01:17:59,805 --> 01:18:00,893
WHAT ABOUT TAJ?
1690
01:18:01,024 --> 01:18:02,286
OH, PLEASE.
1691
01:18:02,416 --> 01:18:04,418
YOU KNOW, HE'S A SOFTY
UNDER ALL THAT BLUSTER.
1692
01:18:04,549 --> 01:18:06,159
BESIDES, WE'VE REACHED
A NEW STAGE
1693
01:18:06,203 --> 01:18:07,117
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.
1694
01:18:07,247 --> 01:18:08,771
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
PARTNERS.
1695
01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:09,946
THAT'S GREAT!
1696
01:18:10,076 --> 01:18:12,426
THANK YOU, YEAH.
1697
01:18:12,557 --> 01:18:14,951
SO HOW'S THE REAL JOB
SEARCH GOING?
1698
01:18:15,081 --> 01:18:16,648
NOT SO GREAT.
1699
01:18:16,779 --> 01:18:18,432
APPARENTLY I HAVE
NO REAL SKILLS.
1700
01:18:18,563 --> 01:18:19,782
MM-HMM.
1701
01:18:19,825 --> 01:18:22,132
I DON'T KNOW.
MY PARENTS ARE RIGHT.
1702
01:18:22,262 --> 01:18:23,829
I HAVE TO BE REALISTIC.
1703
01:18:23,960 --> 01:18:25,875
I CAN'T JUST WISH
FOR SOMETHING
1704
01:18:26,005 --> 01:18:27,267
THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
1705
01:18:27,398 --> 01:18:30,009
THERE IS NO PERFECT JOB,
PERFECT FAMILY...
1706
01:18:30,140 --> 01:18:31,141
PERFECT GUY.
1707
01:18:31,271 --> 01:18:32,795
SO YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD FROM HIM THEN?
1708
01:18:32,838 --> 01:18:34,144
NO.
1709
01:18:34,274 --> 01:18:35,798
SEE, THIS IS WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
1710
01:18:35,928 --> 01:18:37,408
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY
THOUGHT I HAD FEELINGS
1711
01:18:37,538 --> 01:18:38,931
FOR SOME GUY I KIDNAPPED.
1712
01:18:39,062 --> 01:18:41,238
I MEAN, WHAT DID I THINK
WAS GONNA HAPPEN?
1713
01:18:47,679 --> 01:18:49,072
[gasps]
1714
01:19:02,825 --> 01:19:04,174
I LIKE
THE NUPTIAL SCRIPT.
1715
01:19:04,304 --> 01:19:06,785
ALL RIGHT, DONE.
1716
01:19:06,829 --> 01:19:09,788
WHERE IS MARIA
WITH THE NEXT DRESS?
1717
01:19:09,832 --> 01:19:12,704
MARIA, WE HAVE
THREE MORE DRESSES TO GO!
1718
01:19:12,835 --> 01:19:14,445
WHERE ARE YOU?
1719
01:19:26,544 --> 01:19:28,024
DO YOU LIKE
THAT FONT?
1720
01:19:29,112 --> 01:19:30,374
DAVID!
1721
01:19:31,679 --> 01:19:33,246
THE FONT.
1722
01:19:33,377 --> 01:19:35,509
UH, AHEM.
1723
01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:36,815
I'M SORRY.
1724
01:19:36,946 --> 01:19:39,165
I-I NEED SOME AIR.
1725
01:19:39,296 --> 01:19:40,906
OH.
1726
01:19:51,047 --> 01:19:52,918
HEY.
1727
01:19:53,049 --> 01:19:54,833
HEY.
1728
01:19:54,877 --> 01:19:56,922
IT CAN BE A BIT
OVERWHELMING IN THERE.
1729
01:19:57,053 --> 01:19:58,315
YOU DON'T SAY.
1730
01:19:58,445 --> 01:19:59,664
[Jessica]
YOU ALL RIGHT?
1731
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:02,362
YEAH.
YEAH, I'M FINE.
1732
01:20:02,493 --> 01:20:04,538
WELL, WE NEED YOU INSIDE.
1733
01:20:04,669 --> 01:20:06,279
OKAY.
1734
01:20:10,153 --> 01:20:13,286
UH, JESS, UM...
1735
01:20:13,330 --> 01:20:14,810
DO YOU, UH...
1736
01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:16,942
EVER HAVE
ANY DOUBTS ABOUT US?
1737
01:20:17,551 --> 01:20:18,422
WHAT?
1738
01:20:19,118 --> 01:20:21,686
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT
1739
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:23,993
YOU COULD BE
WITH ANY NUMBER OF GUYS.
1740
01:20:24,123 --> 01:20:26,256
WHY ME?
1741
01:20:26,386 --> 01:20:29,041
BECAUSE WE MAKE SENSE.
1742
01:20:29,172 --> 01:20:31,696
AND WE'RE GONNA LEAD A LIFE
THAT MOST PEOPLE DREAM OF.
1743
01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:33,567
ALL RIGHT, YOU AND I
1744
01:20:33,698 --> 01:20:35,352
ARE GONNA HAVE
A FAIRY TALE WEDDING
1745
01:20:35,482 --> 01:20:37,789
AND A FAIRY TALE LIFE.
1746
01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:44,840
[Mrs. Barber]
MARIA!
1747
01:20:44,883 --> 01:20:47,581
I HATE MY LIFE.
1748
01:21:11,736 --> 01:21:15,348
[cell phone rings]
1749
01:21:15,479 --> 01:21:16,567
HELLO.
1750
01:21:16,697 --> 01:21:18,003
TRUD, HEY, IT'S ME.
1751
01:21:18,134 --> 01:21:19,439
HEY.
1752
01:21:19,570 --> 01:21:20,527
HOW'S IT GOING?
1753
01:21:20,658 --> 01:21:21,572
OH, I'VE BEEN BETTER.
1754
01:21:21,746 --> 01:21:23,617
DID YOU TALK
TO MOM AND DAD YET?
1755
01:21:23,748 --> 01:21:26,272
NO, I'VE BEEN
AVOIDING THEM.
1756
01:21:26,403 --> 01:21:28,057
TRUD, YOU SHOULD CALL THEM.
1757
01:21:29,014 --> 01:21:30,407
OH, MY GOD, JAKE.
1758
01:21:30,537 --> 01:21:32,496
I'M JUST SAYING,
YOU KNOW,
1759
01:21:32,626 --> 01:21:33,889
BE THE BIGGER PERSON--
1760
01:21:34,019 --> 01:21:35,368
NO, NO, NO.
1761
01:21:35,412 --> 01:21:37,022
I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO A SHOW
AT GALLERY 717.
1762
01:21:37,153 --> 01:21:38,284
WOW, THAT'S GREAT.
1763
01:21:38,415 --> 01:21:39,677
IT'S A NEW ARTIST EXHIBIT.
1764
01:21:39,807 --> 01:21:40,721
THEY WANT A PIECE FROM ME.
1765
01:21:40,852 --> 01:21:42,898
TRUD, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
1766
01:21:43,028 --> 01:21:44,421
WHEN IS IT?
1767
01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,336
A WEEK FROM SATURDAY.
WILL YOU COME WITH ME, PLEASE?
1768
01:21:46,466 --> 01:21:47,859
YES, OF COURSE I WILL.
1769
01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:50,296
ARE YOU GONNA TELL
MOM AND DAD?
1770
01:21:50,427 --> 01:21:52,472
NO, NO, I DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT WITH THEM.
1771
01:21:52,603 --> 01:21:54,822
I JUST WANT THIS TO BE
MY NIGHT, YOU KNOW?
1772
01:22:11,752 --> 01:22:13,015
[exhales]
1773
01:22:19,021 --> 01:22:21,110
[Jake]
TRUD?
1774
01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:22,850
I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
1775
01:22:22,981 --> 01:22:24,461
I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.
1776
01:22:24,591 --> 01:22:26,463
SO, UM, THIS IS RYAN.
1777
01:22:26,593 --> 01:22:28,204
HI.
1778
01:22:28,334 --> 01:22:29,945
JAKE, YOU DIDN'T DO
HER JUSTICE.
1779
01:22:30,075 --> 01:22:31,947
IT'S SO NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
1780
01:22:32,077 --> 01:22:33,513
SO LISTEN,
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
1781
01:22:33,644 --> 01:22:34,993
I DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE
ARE SAYING ABOUT THE PIECE,
1782
01:22:35,124 --> 01:22:36,081
SO GO OVER
AND EAVESDROP FOR ME.
1783
01:22:36,212 --> 01:22:38,431
OKAY, OKAY.
1784
01:22:38,562 --> 01:22:40,999
BUT LISTEN, UM...
THERE IS ONE OTHER THING.
1785
01:22:41,130 --> 01:22:42,305
WHAT?
1786
01:22:42,435 --> 01:22:43,567
NOW DON'T FREAK OUT,
1787
01:22:43,828 --> 01:22:46,744
BUT I, UH, I BROUGHT
A FEW MORE PEOPLE WITH ME.
1788
01:22:52,054 --> 01:22:56,667
I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T
WANT THEM HERE.
1789
01:22:56,797 --> 01:22:59,017
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO DO THIS TONIGHT, OKAY?
1790
01:22:59,061 --> 01:23:00,105
I WON'T DO THIS.
1791
01:23:00,236 --> 01:23:01,498
JUST FOR ONE NIGHT
1792
01:23:01,628 --> 01:23:02,934
I DON'T WANT TO FEEL
LIKE THE BLACK SHEEP,
1793
01:23:03,065 --> 01:23:04,240
THE WEIRD ONE,
THE WRONG ONE, OKAY?
1794
01:23:04,370 --> 01:23:06,807
OKAY.
WE HEAR YOU.
1795
01:23:06,938 --> 01:23:07,983
WHAT?
1796
01:23:08,113 --> 01:23:09,941
YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE FOUND
1797
01:23:10,072 --> 01:23:12,030
THAT KEEPING OPEN LINES
OF HONEST COMMUNICATION
1798
01:23:12,161 --> 01:23:14,206
IS THE ONLY WAY TO RESTORE
A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
1799
01:23:14,337 --> 01:23:15,903
WHAT?
1800
01:23:16,034 --> 01:23:17,427
THEY'VE BEEN IN THERAPY.
1801
01:23:19,603 --> 01:23:21,474
IT REALLY IS WORKING.
1802
01:23:21,605 --> 01:23:25,130
SO...WHAT ELSE, HONEY?
JUST LET IT OUT.
1803
01:23:25,261 --> 01:23:26,784
I'M TIRED OF TRYING
1804
01:23:26,827 --> 01:23:29,004
TO LIVE UP TO YOUR IDEALS,
YOU KNOW?
1805
01:23:29,134 --> 01:23:30,831
AND I WON'T LIVE MY LIFE
TO PLEASE YOU.
1806
01:23:30,875 --> 01:23:32,790
I MEAN, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM.
1807
01:23:32,833 --> 01:23:33,834
MM-HMM.
1808
01:23:33,965 --> 01:23:35,488
I'M A SLOB.
1809
01:23:35,619 --> 01:23:37,534
I MEAN, SOMETIMES IF I LEAVE
A DISH IN THE SINK TOO LONG
1810
01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:38,709
I JUST THROW IT AWAY
1811
01:23:38,839 --> 01:23:39,840
INSTEAD OF WASHING IT.
1812
01:23:39,884 --> 01:23:40,841
AND, MOM, I HATE PINK.
I HATE IT.
1813
01:23:40,972 --> 01:23:42,321
AND I DON'T WANT A JOB
1814
01:23:42,452 --> 01:23:43,670
IN COMPUTER SALES, DAD.
1815
01:23:43,801 --> 01:23:45,629
YOU KNOW, I'M AN ARTIST.
THAT'S WHO I AM.
1816
01:23:45,759 --> 01:23:47,457
AND I LOVE YOU GUYS,
1817
01:23:47,587 --> 01:23:49,241
BUT IF YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE
BETWEEN ME AND YOU,
1818
01:23:49,372 --> 01:23:50,460
I CHOOSE ME.
1819
01:23:50,590 --> 01:23:53,506
OKAY!
1820
01:23:53,637 --> 01:23:55,682
OKAY?
1821
01:23:55,813 --> 01:23:58,511
YES, OKAY.
1822
01:23:58,642 --> 01:24:00,252
WE HEAR YOU.
1823
01:24:00,383 --> 01:24:01,514
OKAY.
1824
01:24:03,560 --> 01:24:06,780
YOU KNOW, WE WORRY
ABOUT YOU, KIDDO.
1825
01:24:06,824 --> 01:24:07,781
WE DON'T WANT YOU
TO GET HURT.
1826
01:24:07,825 --> 01:24:09,000
WE WANT YOU
TO BE SAFE.
1827
01:24:09,131 --> 01:24:10,045
I MEAN, IF I COULD,
I'D HAVE YOU LIVE
1828
01:24:10,175 --> 01:24:11,568
INSIDE OF
A PLASTIC BUBBLE.
1829
01:24:11,698 --> 01:24:12,960
BUT I WAS TOLD THAT'S
A LITTLE TOO IMPRACTICAL.
1830
01:24:13,091 --> 01:24:14,745
AND WE NEVER MEANT
TO MAKE YOU FEEL
1831
01:24:14,875 --> 01:24:17,095
WEIRD OR WRONG.
1832
01:24:18,183 --> 01:24:19,663
WE LOVE YOU.
1833
01:24:22,231 --> 01:24:25,886
AND WHATEVER YOU WANT,
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT FOR YOU.
1834
01:24:32,110 --> 01:24:33,329
THANKS, DAD.
1835
01:24:33,459 --> 01:24:35,374
OH, COME HERE.
1836
01:24:37,507 --> 01:24:38,595
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
1837
01:24:38,725 --> 01:24:39,683
I LOVE YOU TOO, MOM.
1838
01:24:42,642 --> 01:24:44,427
LITTLE SIS.
1839
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:53,566
I LOVE YOUR PAINTINGS.
I LOVE--
1840
01:24:53,697 --> 01:24:56,395
THE COMPOSITIONS
ARE AMAZING.
1841
01:24:56,526 --> 01:25:00,312
[patrons chattering]
1842
01:25:00,443 --> 01:25:02,706
I'LL BE BACK,
I'LL BE BACK.
1843
01:25:02,749 --> 01:25:03,924
IT'S GREAT
TO MEET YOU.
1844
01:25:07,841 --> 01:25:10,017
YOU OKAY, SWEETHEART?
1845
01:25:10,148 --> 01:25:11,758
SOMEONE BOUGHT IT.
1846
01:25:11,802 --> 01:25:13,934
I KNOW.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
1847
01:25:16,154 --> 01:25:17,677
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
1848
01:25:17,808 --> 01:25:20,724
JUST FEELS DIFFERENT
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
1849
01:25:20,854 --> 01:25:22,247
OH, HOW?
1850
01:25:22,378 --> 01:25:24,293
I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S JUST--
1851
01:25:24,423 --> 01:25:26,121
NICK?
1852
01:25:26,251 --> 01:25:28,993
NO, NOT NICK.
WELL, MAYBE.
1853
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:30,603
WELL, NO, I MEAN,
IT'S NOT NICK, IT'S DAVID.
1854
01:25:30,734 --> 01:25:33,345
IT'S STUPID IS WHAT IT IS.
1855
01:25:33,476 --> 01:25:34,781
IT IS NOT STUPID.
1856
01:25:38,916 --> 01:25:40,874
IF THERE'S
ONE THING I KNOW,
1857
01:25:41,005 --> 01:25:43,094
IT'S THE CORROSIVE
NATURE OF SILENCE
1858
01:25:43,225 --> 01:25:44,617
LEADS TO REGRET.
1859
01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:46,837
AND IT'LL EAT AWAY
AT YOU BIT BY BIT.
1860
01:25:46,967 --> 01:25:49,274
LOOK AT YOUR DAD AND ME.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.
1861
01:25:50,884 --> 01:25:52,843
ACTUALLY, IT IS.
1862
01:25:53,757 --> 01:25:55,672
HE GOT MARRIED TODAY.
1863
01:25:58,675 --> 01:25:59,980
CHEERS.
1864
01:26:15,474 --> 01:26:17,128
HEY, HEY!
1865
01:26:17,259 --> 01:26:18,260
[struggling]
1866
01:26:18,477 --> 01:26:20,349
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I HAVE A BLACK BELT,
1867
01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:22,786
AND MY HANDS ARE CONSIDERED
LETHAL WEAPONS.
1868
01:26:22,829 --> 01:26:24,091
[David]
OOH, SCARY.
1869
01:26:24,222 --> 01:26:26,659
[Trudie]
DAVID?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
1870
01:26:26,703 --> 01:26:29,053
PAYBACK.
IT'S A BITCH.
1871
01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:31,838
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE
ON YOUR HONEYMOON OR SOMETHING?
1872
01:26:31,969 --> 01:26:34,406
OKAY, HOW ABOUT I TAKE
THAT BLINDFOLD OFF NOW?
1873
01:26:34,537 --> 01:26:37,017
HUH?
HOW'D THAT BE?
1874
01:26:38,932 --> 01:26:42,153
WOW.
WHERE ARE WE?
1875
01:26:44,503 --> 01:26:47,898
TRUDIE, YOU ARE...
1876
01:26:48,028 --> 01:26:50,596
UNORGANIZED, AND PUSHY,
1877
01:26:50,727 --> 01:26:52,598
AND CRAZY.
1878
01:26:52,729 --> 01:26:54,121
I KNOW, AND I'M WORKING
ON THOSE THINGS.
1879
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:55,253
AND IF YOU'LL JUST
LISTEN TO ME--
1880
01:26:55,384 --> 01:26:57,037
AND YOU TALK TOO MUCH.
OKAY.
1881
01:26:59,692 --> 01:27:01,781
I LOST A LOT
BECAUSE OF YOU.
1882
01:27:03,043 --> 01:27:04,219
BUT I'VE REALIZED
1883
01:27:04,349 --> 01:27:05,394
THAT I DON'T WANT
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
1884
01:27:06,699 --> 01:27:09,224
WAIT.
YOU DON'T?
1885
01:27:11,661 --> 01:27:14,707
EVERYTHING I WANT...
IS RIGHT HERE.
1886
01:27:17,188 --> 01:27:20,539
MARTIN ART
AND ARCHITECTURE.
1887
01:27:20,670 --> 01:27:23,412
A GALLERY AND A STUDIO.
1888
01:27:24,064 --> 01:27:27,285
WOW.
IT'S AMAZING.
1889
01:27:27,416 --> 01:27:30,288
AND I'VE JUST
ACQUIRED MY FIRST PIECE.
1890
01:27:38,601 --> 01:27:40,167
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
1891
01:27:40,298 --> 01:27:42,082
THAT'S A FIRST.
1892
01:27:47,174 --> 01:27:49,438
I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE
STRIVING FOR THINGS
1893
01:27:49,481 --> 01:27:50,961
THAT I DIDN'T EVEN WANT,
1894
01:27:51,091 --> 01:27:52,919
BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S
WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.
1895
01:27:53,050 --> 01:27:55,966
I THOUGHT I HAD
SOMETHING TO PROVE.
1896
01:27:56,096 --> 01:27:59,665
BUT I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE
ANYTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE.
1897
01:27:59,796 --> 01:28:01,580
YOU DON'T?
1898
01:28:02,842 --> 01:28:04,714
WELL...
1899
01:28:05,889 --> 01:28:07,804
MAYBE ONE MORE THING.
1900
01:28:25,038 --> 01:28:28,085
CAN YOU TAKE THESE
OFF ME NOW?
1901
01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:40,489
[Trudie]
THERE MAY BE NO SUCH THING
AS A PERFECT JOB,
1902
01:28:40,619 --> 01:28:43,143
A PERFECT FAMILY,
OR A PERFECT LIFE.
1903
01:28:43,274 --> 01:28:45,929
BUT THERE IS SUCH A THING
AS A PERFECT MOMENT.
1904
01:28:46,059 --> 01:28:48,148
SO I TAKE BACK
WHAT I SAID.
1905
01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:51,717
DOING ONE CRAZY THING
PROBABLY DOES MAKE YOU CRAZY,
1906
01:28:51,848 --> 01:28:54,372
BUT IT CAN ALSO
MAKE YOU HAPPY.
128820
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