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1
00:00:03,664 --> 00:00:06,389
Yet again we're seeing
record-high temperatures here in the Southland,
Mayor Bremer.
2
00:00:06,389 --> 00:00:09,563
Is it global warming
or God punishing Hollywood
3
00:00:09,596 --> 00:00:11,365
for its many sins?
4
00:00:11,399 --> 00:00:15,106
Andrea, this heat wave
is putting a lot of stress
5
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,743
on the electrical grid.
6
00:00:16,777 --> 00:00:18,446
We're all suffering.
7
00:00:18,479 --> 00:00:23,356
Uh, but we all--we all have
to do our, uh--our part,
8
00:00:23,389 --> 00:00:24,626
you know,
to conserve energy.
9
00:00:24,659 --> 00:00:28,701
Even--even here
at--at City Hall, we are--
10
00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:30,403
Jayden.
11
00:00:30,437 --> 00:00:34,646
Sorry. Well, we're turning
the AC off, uh...
12
00:00:34,679 --> 00:00:37,517
during peak hours
and rolling blackouts have--
13
00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:40,156
- It's too hot in there.
- The mayor is--
14
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:44,231
Yeah, rolling blackouts
have--have happened.
15
00:00:45,901 --> 00:00:48,473
Anyway, do your part.
Stay cool, L. A.
16
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,629
Thank you in advance
for your patience.
17
00:00:59,663 --> 00:01:03,169
The city's free cooling center
will be open soon.
18
00:01:03,202 --> 00:01:05,675
The website
said 10:00 to 6:00.
19
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,612
What I'm hearing
is the website works.
20
00:01:07,645 --> 00:01:10,417
But we did have a little
problem with our vendor.
21
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:12,588
The tent we ordered
is currently being used
22
00:01:12,622 --> 00:01:14,559
at a For Your Consideration event
23
00:01:14,592 --> 00:01:16,429
for "The Marvelous
Mrs. Maisel."
24
00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:18,399
I promise we will get it back
25
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:20,638
as soon as Tony Shalhoub
finishes the Q&A.
26
00:01:20,671 --> 00:01:21,807
Mr. Tomás?
27
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:26,717
Uh, we have lukewarm bags
of water that were once ice.
28
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:29,288
Bad news--Shalhoub is taking
questions about "Monk" now.
29
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:31,827
They did 125 episodes.
That could take all day.
30
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:33,697
We got to get some kind
of structure down here now.
31
00:01:33,731 --> 00:01:36,469
Okay, my guy's at the
warehouse, and he found a tent.
32
00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:37,839
It's from the last
"Real Housewives" reunion
33
00:01:37,872 --> 00:01:38,807
so it had some hair
and blood on it.
34
00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:40,678
- Hose it down, make it work.
- You got it.
35
00:01:40,711 --> 00:01:43,416
All right,
a solution is in the works.
36
00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:47,759
Mikaela, you've been online
dating for a very long time.
37
00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,428
I got to the end of Hinge.
38
00:01:49,461 --> 00:01:52,334
Well, I joined this
dating app, but--
39
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:53,837
You're getting
mixed messages?
40
00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:56,175
Like, you think you swiped on
a single guy, but it turns out
41
00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:57,745
it's a couple
looking for a third,
42
00:01:57,779 --> 00:01:59,716
and at first, you're like,
"No way," but then you're like,
43
00:01:59,749 --> 00:02:01,720
"I don't know, at least
everyone's being honest here."
44
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:04,291
No, actually,
it's been going great.
45
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,661
Awesome, me too.
46
00:02:05,695 --> 00:02:07,965
Yeah, I've been matched
with so many lovely ladies.
47
00:02:07,999 --> 00:02:10,370
Cool, cool,
being a man seems cool.
48
00:02:10,403 --> 00:02:12,642
But flirting online
is just so different.
49
00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:15,815
All this texting
instead of meeting in person.
50
00:02:15,848 --> 00:02:18,587
Yep, I prefer to meet women
the old-fashioned way.
51
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,457
Selling candy bars
while they're eating outside
52
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,361
at a restaurant and their
boyfriend's in the bathroom.
53
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,733
See, I'm trying to find
something real here,
54
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:27,537
but I can't get
out of the small-talk stage.
55
00:02:27,572 --> 00:02:30,510
All these women keep asking me
to tell them what street
56
00:02:30,544 --> 00:02:33,249
I grew up on
and my mother's maiden name,
57
00:02:33,282 --> 00:02:34,552
which seems a little weird,
58
00:02:34,586 --> 00:02:36,857
but I just don't know
what's normal anymore.
59
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,894
- Mm...
- Yeah, please.
60
00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:40,564
Oh, honey.
61
00:02:40,598 --> 00:02:41,767
Wait, we're allowed
to call him honey?
62
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:42,902
No. Absolutely not.
63
00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:44,773
Sorry, it's just--
it's a scam.
64
00:02:44,806 --> 00:02:46,910
These are bots--
you're flirting with robots
65
00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:48,479
that are trying to steal
your identity.
66
00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:49,883
Wait, there's nothing wrong
with robots, okay?
67
00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:51,820
I've had a thing for that
Star Tours droid for years.
68
00:02:51,853 --> 00:02:56,295
Oh, no. I'd like to see a bot
with a figure like this.
69
00:02:56,328 --> 00:02:58,533
That's probably just
a stolen image.
70
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:02,240
Yeah, that's the lady from the
sexy senior asthma commercials.
71
00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:08,921
Now I have enough breath
to blow a kiss.
72
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,662
Oh, Ventilify.
73
00:03:12,695 --> 00:03:14,531
I'm on that, but it's
to inhibit hair growth.
74
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:17,537
Oh, this profile's using
a pic of her, too.
75
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,709
No, no,
I've messaged with this gal.
76
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:22,414
She's a flight attendant.
- No, that's the same actress.
77
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:23,684
She also plays
a flight attendant
78
00:03:23,717 --> 00:03:25,420
in the Delta Air Lines
safety video.
79
00:03:25,453 --> 00:03:27,692
So buckle up for fun
80
00:03:27,725 --> 00:03:32,400
because fun is
as good as on time.
81
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,637
Wait, I Googled her.
82
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:35,574
Her name is Angelica Masters,
and she's
83
00:03:35,608 --> 00:03:38,714
on the Champagne Chestnut box
of L'Oréal hair dye.
84
00:03:38,747 --> 00:03:41,418
So many of these fake
accounts use her pictures.
85
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:42,955
I guess the algorithm
knows what it's doing.
86
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,293
She's basically
a Chico's supermodel.
87
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,630
This is unacceptable.
88
00:03:46,663 --> 00:03:48,634
They're toying
with people's feelings.
89
00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:50,470
I thought an actual woman
wanted to know
90
00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:51,973
the name of my first pet!
91
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:53,844
You know something?
92
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:56,583
I'm in a position
to do something about this.
93
00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:58,954
And someone has to let
Angelica Masters know.
94
00:03:58,987 --> 00:04:00,558
Are you sure, sir?
95
00:04:00,591 --> 00:04:01,860
We really should be dealing
with these blackouts.
96
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:02,862
- Hey, Kathy.
- What?
97
00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:04,966
Get--get Angelica Masters!
98
00:04:04,999 --> 00:04:06,469
That was intense.
99
00:04:06,502 --> 00:04:08,072
How'd you stay
so calm back there?
100
00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:09,676
Experience.
Faith in the process.
101
00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,445
I'm gonna duck into this
mini mart for a second.
102
00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:12,782
You want anything?
103
00:04:12,815 --> 00:04:14,418
I'll go with you.
104
00:04:14,451 --> 00:04:15,855
That's not what I asked.
Do you want anything?
105
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,594
I want to see the choices!
106
00:04:18,627 --> 00:04:21,332
Looks like they got some
cool stuff in the back there.
107
00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:23,737
I'm seeing corn nuts,
washer fluid,
108
00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:26,442
fake Academy Awards for people
with common Western names.
109
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,979
No, I just want a cold drink.
110
00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:29,816
Hey, Arpi.
111
00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:31,887
Four Ladybug Luck scratchers
coming up.
112
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,893
I think you're mistaking me
for another tiny Arpi.
113
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:37,999
Oh, you. I love that you
take time to joke.
114
00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:39,569
I think we'd be friends
115
00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:42,642
even if you didn't buy
lottery tickets every day.
116
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:45,614
Okay, fine.
Now you know my secret shame.
117
00:04:45,648 --> 00:04:47,585
An emotional affair with
a convenience store clerk?
118
00:04:47,618 --> 00:04:49,689
No.
It's the scratchers, okay?
119
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:53,029
They're my thing.
These will pay for those.
120
00:04:53,062 --> 00:04:54,566
Okay, see you tomorrow, Arpi!
121
00:04:54,599 --> 00:04:56,035
I know they're
a waste of money
122
00:04:56,068 --> 00:04:57,738
and a regressive tax
on the poor
123
00:04:57,772 --> 00:05:00,043
but after a hellish morning
like we just had,
124
00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:01,378
I need a little win...
125
00:05:01,412 --> 00:05:03,482
or a loss--
it doesn't even matter.
126
00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:05,921
These keep me sane,
so stop judging me.
127
00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:08,760
I'm not judging anyone.
Some people need vices to cope.
128
00:05:08,794 --> 00:05:09,863
Oh, but you don't?
129
00:05:09,896 --> 00:05:12,033
What can I say? Some of us
are just well adjusted.
130
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,135
♪BuiltDifferent.
131
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:16,943
Free ticket!
132
00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:18,680
Are you at least
being smart about this?
133
00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:20,516
What does that mean?
Scratchers are random.
134
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:21,786
Well, I read this article
135
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:23,522
that there are ways
to game the system.
136
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,628
You know, buy in bulk,
chat up store owners to see
137
00:05:25,661 --> 00:05:28,734
which locations are due to hit,
choose new games over old.
138
00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:32,407
Well, shoot, I'm gonna have
to give those tricks a try.
139
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,679
- Ooh, is that cold?
- Yeah, I just got it.
140
00:05:39,956 --> 00:05:41,525
Coping mechanism.
141
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,064
Look, obviously, I get
why they use your picture.
142
00:05:44,097 --> 00:05:46,068
Well, it's been going on
for a while.
143
00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:48,840
I appeal
to sex-positive seniors,
144
00:05:48,874 --> 00:05:53,650
senior-curious millennials,
and meme-loving incels.
145
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:57,057
I just hate that my photo is
being used to catfish people
146
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,627
and that the name
147
00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:01,432
of my favorite fish
now means something so dark.
148
00:06:01,465 --> 00:06:03,469
Well, if you feel
that strongly,
149
00:06:03,502 --> 00:06:05,006
maybe we could team up.
150
00:06:05,039 --> 00:06:08,547
Well, I happen to be in town
shooting a commercial
151
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:10,049
for the new Depends thong.
152
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:13,991
I suppose I could record
something later this week.
153
00:06:14,024 --> 00:06:15,093
Oh, that's fantastic.
154
00:06:15,126 --> 00:06:16,730
Uh, I'll--I'll have
155
00:06:16,763 --> 00:06:19,569
my comms department
get in touch with your people.
156
00:06:19,602 --> 00:06:22,474
Well, there is just one issue.
157
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,111
How do I know
that you're not a bot?
158
00:06:24,144 --> 00:06:26,515
Maybe send me a bunch
of pictures
159
00:06:26,549 --> 00:06:28,720
and have me click
on all the stop signs.
160
00:06:28,754 --> 00:06:31,993
Or we could meet in person.
161
00:06:32,027 --> 00:06:34,699
Do you eat dinner?
162
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:38,139
Every night, except when
I fall asleep on the couch.
163
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:40,143
Great, I'll see you tonight.
164
00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:41,546
I must say, though
165
00:06:41,579 --> 00:06:45,854
while I'm not a robot,
I am a machine...
166
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,558
in bed.
167
00:06:59,749 --> 00:07:02,120
Morning.
[laughs]- Whoa, someone's
in a good mood.
168
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,924
It's me.
I had breakfast churros.
169
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:07,732
Why did I wait so long
to date women my own age?
170
00:07:07,765 --> 00:07:08,934
Oh, because you're rich, sir.
171
00:07:08,967 --> 00:07:12,641
I had a fantastic night
with Angelica.
172
00:07:12,675 --> 00:07:14,511
You know, when you're
with someone your own age,
173
00:07:14,545 --> 00:07:17,150
you connect
in such a different way.
174
00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:18,920
Like about wills and stuff?
175
00:07:18,954 --> 00:07:21,726
Like about our favorite
books and music
176
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,164
and how all other generations
are the worst.
177
00:07:24,197 --> 00:07:27,170
I'm telling you, I think this
could be something special.
178
00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:28,640
Okay, so, just to summarize,
179
00:07:28,674 --> 00:07:30,043
you've been on an app
for one week.
180
00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:32,180
You got catfished using
a picture of an actress,
181
00:07:32,213 --> 00:07:34,652
but then you just met
that actress and took her out.
182
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:36,155
Where do you even take
a commercial queen?
183
00:07:36,188 --> 00:07:38,059
I mean, she's already twirled
through a field of daisies.
184
00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:41,666
Actually, we never even left
the hotel room.
185
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,169
- Are you gonna be a dad?
- Okay.
186
00:07:43,202 --> 00:07:46,676
Gross/congratulations, sir,
but the office is not the place
187
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:47,978
to discuss
your one-night stand.
188
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:50,183
I think you mean
first-night stand.
189
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:51,953
If this were a one-night stand,
190
00:07:51,986 --> 00:07:54,859
would we have been texting
all morning?
191
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:58,099
Ah, I don't really see
a we texting here.
192
00:07:58,132 --> 00:07:59,969
I see you triple-texting
193
00:08:00,002 --> 00:08:02,808
in exchange
for a thumbs-up reaction?
194
00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:05,213
Yeah, so?
What's better than a thumbs-up?
195
00:08:05,246 --> 00:08:06,683
Right, Jayden?
196
00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:10,223
Oh my God, thank you, sir!
197
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,597
1,000 buckaroos.
198
00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:14,932
Last night,
I followed your advice,
199
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,569
and I hit it big on scratchers.
200
00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:17,705
Oh, that's great.
201
00:08:17,738 --> 00:08:18,907
You'd think so.
202
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,911
But around 4:00 a. m.,
I was still awake,
203
00:08:20,944 --> 00:08:23,750
and I realized the truth--
you ruined me.
204
00:08:23,784 --> 00:08:25,754
Mm, you know, I really
thought I was safe
205
00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:27,591
from ever having
this conversation with a woman.
206
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:29,227
Turns out the best part
of playing scratchers
207
00:08:29,261 --> 00:08:31,031
isn't the money.
208
00:08:31,065 --> 00:08:33,670
It's the--
Wa-cha!--
209
00:08:33,703 --> 00:08:36,075
the unpredictability,
and you took that away.
210
00:08:36,108 --> 00:08:37,778
Okay.
211
00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:40,651
I guess I'm sorry that I helped
you win a bunch of money?
212
00:08:40,684 --> 00:08:42,588
Your apology is like
the Super Bowl.
213
00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:45,794
Just because it's happening
doesn't mean I care about it.
214
00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:49,101
What kind of sorcery is this?
215
00:08:49,134 --> 00:08:52,207
Why--why am I mad
you gave me $1,000?
216
00:08:53,643 --> 00:08:55,881
Hey, Mikaela,
are we coordinating
217
00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:57,718
with the Beverly Hills
Mayor's Office
218
00:08:57,752 --> 00:08:59,187
about these power outages?
219
00:08:59,221 --> 00:09:01,158
Yes, sir. They're encouraging
residents to evacuate
220
00:09:01,191 --> 00:09:03,730
to the nearest Mercedes
S-, E-, or C-Class.
221
00:09:03,764 --> 00:09:06,201
Anything about cell towers
being down?
222
00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:09,241
I'm hearing a lot of talk about
texts not getting through.
223
00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:11,880
Oh, please don't tell me
this is what I think it is.
224
00:09:11,913 --> 00:09:13,884
Well, just look at this, though.
225
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:17,190
I mean, yesterday Angelica
responded right away.
226
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,131
See? Look, question mark,
"Okay," "Can't talk right now,"
227
00:09:21,165 --> 00:09:24,806
"Driving" and then an emoji
with no mouth.
228
00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:26,843
But today look at that. Nothing.
229
00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:28,145
Sir, she's ghosting you.
230
00:09:28,179 --> 00:09:29,281
Ghosting me?
231
00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:30,818
Don't listen to Mikaela, sir.
232
00:09:30,851 --> 00:09:32,153
This is standard
cat-and-mouse stuff.
233
00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:34,124
I go years without hearing
from women.
234
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,163
Okay, maybe we can save this.
What have you texted her today?
235
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:38,432
- Whoa.
- Oh, God.
236
00:09:38,466 --> 00:09:41,305
Did you copy and paste all the
lyrics to a Joni Mitchell song?
237
00:09:41,338 --> 00:09:44,144
No.
No, I-I typed them out.
238
00:09:44,177 --> 00:09:45,781
And a voice memo?
239
00:09:45,814 --> 00:09:47,183
It does voice memos?
240
00:09:47,217 --> 00:09:51,759
Siri, search Angelica Masters
control-top pantyhose.
241
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:54,899
And you sent her a red heart?
242
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,903
Sir, the progression
243
00:09:56,936 --> 00:09:59,140
is green heart, yellow heart,
purple heart, pink heart,
244
00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:00,944
double-pink heart,
then red heart.
245
00:10:00,978 --> 00:10:02,781
A red heart is what you send
to your mom
246
00:10:02,815 --> 00:10:04,184
on, like, Mothers' Day
or to your dad
247
00:10:04,217 --> 00:10:05,988
when he sends you
a picture of fish he caught
248
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,791
and you don't know
how else to connect.
249
00:10:07,825 --> 00:10:10,129
God, what's wrong with me?
250
00:10:10,163 --> 00:10:12,000
I'm being a total doofus.
251
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,435
And it's because of this thing.
252
00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:16,776
I'm gonna go talk
to her face-to-face.
253
00:10:16,809 --> 00:10:18,312
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
254
00:10:18,345 --> 00:10:19,347
Sir, I am gonna tell you
255
00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:21,218
what I would tell
any friend of mine.
256
00:10:21,251 --> 00:10:23,222
Do not contact Angelica
for one year.
257
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:24,692
You're being hyperbolic.
258
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,328
You need her to forget
what you did.
259
00:10:26,361 --> 00:10:27,932
Come on.
260
00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:29,969
I am being as serious
as Nicole Kidman in a drama
261
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,873
where she cannot be Australian.
262
00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:34,044
One year, minimum.
263
00:10:34,077 --> 00:10:36,114
I'll set a one-year timer
on your phone, sir.
264
00:10:36,148 --> 00:10:38,352
Is the old car horn
ringtone okay?
265
00:10:38,385 --> 00:10:40,189
No, no, no.
266
00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:47,370
Ms. Shaw,
did you see my memo?
267
00:10:47,403 --> 00:10:49,374
Uh, yeah, you're mad at Tommy
268
00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:51,846
because he made you
too good at scratchers?
269
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,819
Yes. You may have noticed
the erasers
270
00:10:54,852 --> 00:10:56,990
have been gnawed off
all the office pencils.
271
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:59,996
It was my doing.
I-I'm a little on edge.
272
00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:02,233
Arpi, there's a Salvatore
for you on line one.
273
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,705
I will call him back,
Véronica!
274
00:11:06,108 --> 00:11:08,312
This is the time of day
I'd normally be scratching.
275
00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,016
Yeah. Hey, I get it.
276
00:11:10,049 --> 00:11:12,387
You know, when I'm overwhelmed,
I just take a Buzzfeed quiz.
277
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:13,823
Show me.
278
00:11:13,857 --> 00:11:16,796
Omelet.
"Despicable Me." Boxer briefs.
279
00:11:16,829 --> 00:11:20,169
Tomato soup. A sunset.
The blue dress.
280
00:11:20,202 --> 00:11:22,841
The light-blue dress.
The strapless blue dress.
281
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:26,014
Boxer briefs.
Butter pecan. Simba.
282
00:11:26,048 --> 00:11:29,855
Done.
And your ideal roommate is...
283
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,329
Olivia Rodrigo! Ooh, fun.
284
00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:34,999
This does not float my barge.
285
00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:36,803
Okay. Well, let's just
take another one quiz.
286
00:11:36,836 --> 00:11:39,140
Which "Sex and the City"
character are you?
287
00:11:39,174 --> 00:11:40,209
Easy. Magda.
288
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:40,877
- Oh.
- Yeah.
289
00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:42,881
Yeah, this job is a killer.
290
00:11:42,915 --> 00:11:44,017
I used to stress-eat,
291
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:46,221
but I've gotten a handle on it
through daily meditation.
292
00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:48,259
I was just gonna do my app
if you want to do it with me?
293
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,196
I guess we could find
a private--
294
00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:52,267
Oh, right here.
295
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:55,106
Hi, I'm Coyote Dewitt.
296
00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:57,277
Welcome to
"The Mindful Minute."
297
00:11:57,310 --> 00:12:01,886
Let's begin, as always,
by focusing on our "braadth."
298
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:04,224
Breathing in,
stopping to notice
299
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,196
where the "braadth" goes in
and the "braadth" goes out.
300
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,034
Why does she say "breath"
so weird?
301
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:10,469
That's supposed
to be "breath"?
302
00:12:10,503 --> 00:12:13,242
I thought Braadth was some new
god I was supposed to pray to.
303
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:15,046
3:00, everybody.
304
00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:19,054
Oh. Oh, thank God.
305
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,962
No, no, no!
306
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,270
It's a brownout.
307
00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:29,474
No!
308
00:12:29,507 --> 00:12:31,345
I'm going
to the break-room fridge,
309
00:12:31,378 --> 00:12:33,817
and I'm gonna eat all the food
before it melts!
310
00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:36,923
Oh, yeah.
That'll get you there.
311
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,327
The stakes here
may be too high.
312
00:12:39,361 --> 00:12:41,498
I bit into this
thinking it was a lemon scone,
313
00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:43,837
and it is very much
a tuna melt.
314
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:45,439
This always makes me
feel fantastic
315
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,310
for, like, 18 to 20 minutes
316
00:12:47,343 --> 00:12:50,249
and then very,
very sleepy and sad.
317
00:12:50,282 --> 00:12:52,921
Hey, Arpi,
I need a quick word.
318
00:12:52,955 --> 00:12:54,491
Are you eating
Valerie's birthday cake?
319
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,130
You know that her birthday was,
like, before Thanksgiving.
320
00:12:57,163 --> 00:12:58,900
Yeah,
we're stress-eating, sir.
321
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:01,171
Oh. First, thank you.
You were right.
322
00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:04,077
I'm much happier dating
a woman my own age.
323
00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,479
When did I ever say
that to you?
324
00:13:05,513 --> 00:13:08,519
I may have imagined
you yelling it at me, I guess.
325
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:09,989
I don't know.
326
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:11,959
Anyway, look,
the youngsters are telling me
327
00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:15,433
that I can't call
a certain special lady
328
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:17,170
for a year.
329
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,174
Now, those aren't
Boomer rules, right?
330
00:13:19,207 --> 00:13:20,543
Boomers don't have
a year to waste.
331
00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:23,515
Don't lump me in with
your "Big Chill" generation.
332
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:25,519
I'm technically
a Gen X preemie.
333
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,056
I think I should call her.
334
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,525
What? What?
335
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,129
I never called
Salvatore back.
336
00:13:30,162 --> 00:13:31,966
Arpi, have you talked
to Salvatore today?
337
00:13:31,999 --> 00:13:33,903
Apparently there's a problem
with the cooling center.
338
00:13:33,937 --> 00:13:36,041
This is what happens
when I'm off my game!
339
00:13:38,512 --> 00:13:40,884
Hey, now.
340
00:13:40,917 --> 00:13:42,420
Oh.
341
00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:45,560
Uh, look-it, if Arpi calls, uh,
tell her that I had to go, uh,
342
00:13:45,594 --> 00:13:47,530
deal with the heat at the--
you know, the place.
343
00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:49,033
Hey, Dan. Get the car.
344
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,937
Oh, Braadth!
345
00:13:50,971 --> 00:13:53,175
Why have you forsaken me?
346
00:14:00,222 --> 00:14:01,926
Salvatore, what the crap
is this? - Okay, hear me out.
347
00:14:01,926 --> 00:14:04,030
The cooling tent that I brought
yesterday was a backup.
348
00:14:04,064 --> 00:14:05,533
And they already booked it
for today
349
00:14:05,567 --> 00:14:07,203
for the roof of Soho House
because sometimes
350
00:14:07,236 --> 00:14:09,174
the guests complain
that the pool is too heated.
351
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:11,913
So you put senior citizens
inside a damn clown?
352
00:14:11,946 --> 00:14:13,515
Okay, continue
hearing me out.
353
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,119
I called you earlier and said,
354
00:14:15,152 --> 00:14:17,223
"Would you be okay
with a high-end bouncy house?"
355
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:19,060
And when I didn't hear
from you, I followed my gut.
356
00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:20,529
I've been working
on not overthinking things.
357
00:14:20,564 --> 00:14:22,366
This is my fault
because I was distracted.
358
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,703
How fast can we
get rid of this?
359
00:14:23,736 --> 00:14:25,473
Well, do we want no injuries
or some injuries?
360
00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:27,611
'Cause those are two
very different timelines.
361
00:14:27,644 --> 00:14:30,216
Ay, la madre!
362
00:14:30,249 --> 00:14:32,019
Get your head
in the game, Arpi!
363
00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:34,224
Why does that one old guy
keep jumping?
364
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:35,426
He's popcorning everybody.
365
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:37,063
What do you want me
to do, Arpi?
366
00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,935
I can't decide!
Tommy, break my fingers.
367
00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:42,073
I've read that extreme pain
can focus the mind.
368
00:14:42,106 --> 00:14:44,077
Go for the pinky.
369
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,947
Look, do you remember
when I told you
370
00:14:45,981 --> 00:14:48,018
I don't have
a secret coping mechanism?
371
00:14:48,051 --> 00:14:50,957
I lied, I do, and somehow you
have made me feel guilty enough
372
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,260
that I want to let you
in on it.
373
00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:53,630
I'll do anything
at this point
374
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:55,266
except therapy or Peloton.
375
00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:57,270
Meet me at the corner
of Tujunga and Ventura
376
00:14:57,303 --> 00:14:58,539
at 6:40 a. m. tomorrow.
377
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:01,244
Don't wear anything baggy
or with zippers.
378
00:15:08,258 --> 00:15:10,062
Can I help you?
379
00:15:10,095 --> 00:15:12,400
You're the guy who does
those E. D. commercials.
380
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,370
Gorgialis.
381
00:15:14,404 --> 00:15:16,374
It's always nice to meet a fan.
382
00:15:16,408 --> 00:15:18,980
What? No, no, no.
I'm the mayor.
383
00:15:19,013 --> 00:15:20,249
What are you doing here?
384
00:15:20,282 --> 00:15:23,990
Me? What's the boner-pill guy
doing here?
385
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:27,396
I'm also an adjunct professor
of acting and pretend fighting
386
00:15:27,430 --> 00:15:29,267
at Santa Monica
Community College,
387
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,770
but sure, dude.
388
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,242
Brett and I are old friends.
389
00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:37,517
We hit it off on a commercial
for a bathtub you stand up in
390
00:15:37,551 --> 00:15:39,989
and reconnected
after my divorce.
391
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,293
But, Angelica, you texted me.
392
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:44,698
And you didn't text me back.
393
00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:48,005
So I texted the Trivago guy
and then Brett.
394
00:15:48,038 --> 00:15:50,442
Hey, man,
"Trivago Guy passed"
395
00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:51,579
are my three favorite words.
396
00:15:51,612 --> 00:15:55,319
Brett, do you mind if I have
a moment alone with Neil?
397
00:15:56,756 --> 00:16:00,029
Why didn't you text me back
before coming over here?
398
00:16:00,062 --> 00:16:03,168
I didn't realize
you were seeing other people.
399
00:16:03,202 --> 00:16:06,208
Oh, honey, haven't you
ever heard the term "trampage"?
400
00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,145
Why do people
keep calling me "honey"?
401
00:16:08,178 --> 00:16:09,582
And of course not.
402
00:16:09,615 --> 00:16:11,552
I'm newly single.
403
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:14,157
And career-wise,
I'm having a moment.
404
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,694
I want to meet people.
405
00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:18,165
I want to expand my horizons.
406
00:16:18,198 --> 00:16:20,436
A "trampage"
is a rite of passage
407
00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:22,808
for a sexy divorcée like me.
408
00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:25,346
Oh, my God, I just don't get
how this works anymore.
409
00:16:25,379 --> 00:16:28,352
I mean, did you know about
the different color hearts?
410
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:31,324
Only because I took
a great computer course
411
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,594
at the Learning Annex.
412
00:16:32,628 --> 00:16:36,368
Turns out you can print
from your cell phone!
413
00:16:36,401 --> 00:16:38,071
What?
414
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:42,313
Listen, I'm sorry
if you felt misled.
415
00:16:42,346 --> 00:16:44,117
For what it's worth,
416
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:47,624
this is also
a big disappointment for me.
417
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:51,298
I really wanted to do
some weird stuff with you
418
00:16:51,331 --> 00:16:54,370
that Brett just doesn't have
the height for.
419
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,640
Thank you.
420
00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:58,746
That actually means a lot.
- Okay, bye-bye.
421
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,827
What is this,
some kind of fight club?
422
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,496
If you don't know
what this is,
423
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:08,766
you shouldn't be here, fish.
424
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,570
Okay, easy, Gretchen.
She's with me.
425
00:17:10,604 --> 00:17:12,239
Yeah, Gretchen.
426
00:17:12,273 --> 00:17:13,876
I'm digging
the "Lord of the Flies" vibe,
427
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:16,281
but what specifically
are we doing?
428
00:17:16,314 --> 00:17:19,287
Everyone here collects
a special kind of pottery--
429
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,590
Rae Dunn ceramics.
430
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,093
It comes out
in limited editions.
431
00:17:22,126 --> 00:17:23,763
Five minutes after these
doors open, it'll be gone.
432
00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:25,734
Yeah,
'cause I'll have it all.
433
00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:27,370
Oh, you wish!
434
00:17:27,403 --> 00:17:29,374
You usually get
your first taste by accident.
435
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:31,244
Someone gives you a mug
that says "drink."
436
00:17:31,278 --> 00:17:33,115
Pretty soon you want a plate
that says "plate."
437
00:17:33,148 --> 00:17:34,551
Then you discover
the desktop accessories,
438
00:17:34,585 --> 00:17:36,154
and then they've got you.
439
00:17:36,187 --> 00:17:37,724
On Tuesday and Friday mornings,
440
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:39,260
that manager puts out
the new stock
441
00:17:39,294 --> 00:17:42,801
and then I fight these Karens
to the death for it.
442
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:44,270
Look, just follow
my lead, okay?
443
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,141
Keep your elbows up
and don't be afraid
444
00:17:46,174 --> 00:17:48,345
to snatch out
some clip-in weaves!
445
00:17:48,378 --> 00:17:49,715
Go, go, go!
446
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:52,440
[indistinct chatter,
computer beeping] - That was...
447
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:53,743
satisfying.
448
00:18:53,776 --> 00:18:55,312
Yeah.
449
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:58,418
I appreciate you letting me
see your secret joy.
450
00:18:58,452 --> 00:19:01,224
Makes me feel less alone
in my weirdness.
451
00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:03,295
So see you next week?
452
00:19:03,328 --> 00:19:04,832
Nah.
453
00:19:04,865 --> 00:19:06,969
I can't physically
destroy ladies
454
00:19:07,002 --> 00:19:08,740
with sassy haircuts.
455
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,342
Feels like cannibalism.
456
00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:15,219
But I have enjoyed
this reasonably priced dance
457
00:19:15,252 --> 00:19:17,991
with chaos
and his sister, danger.
458
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,362
I just need to find
my own dirty hotel room
459
00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:22,768
for our next ménage à trois.
460
00:19:22,801 --> 00:19:24,470
Cool. Good luck with that.
461
00:19:26,274 --> 00:19:28,345
Sir, can you explain to me
why the city's
462
00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:30,282
Official Mayor's Office
Twitter account
463
00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:32,453
has been trolling
the Gorgialis account?
464
00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:34,792
A medication I'm also on
but for wake apnea.
465
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,862
You were right, Mikaela.
466
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,966
Angelica's on a trampage.
467
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,504
Oh, I love that for her.
468
00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:45,379
Yeah, she was just using me.
And I humiliated myself.
469
00:19:45,412 --> 00:19:47,551
Well, at least it was
with Angelica Masters.
470
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,522
My last date was with
an improviser who robbed me.
471
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,393
I don't know. I might text him.
472
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:55,466
I wasn't excited about her
because she's Internet famous.
473
00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:58,673
I was excited because
we had so much to talk about.
474
00:19:58,706 --> 00:20:01,746
I didn't have to pretend to
know who The Chainsmokers were.
475
00:20:01,779 --> 00:20:03,248
Well, there's probably
476
00:20:03,281 --> 00:20:04,852
a lot of women
that you can do that with.
477
00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,354
You just need to find one
478
00:20:06,387 --> 00:20:08,358
who sees you
as more than a jump-off.
479
00:20:08,391 --> 00:20:10,529
Huh. Yeah.
480
00:20:10,563 --> 00:20:13,770
Yeah, maybe it took a one-night
stand with Angelica Masters
481
00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:16,675
to realize
that I really am ready
482
00:20:16,709 --> 00:20:18,813
for a mature relationship.
483
00:20:18,846 --> 00:20:20,550
When do you
want to meet my aunt?
484
00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:22,988
Her name's Patricia,
and she is mean.
485
00:20:26,361 --> 00:20:27,998
Arpi, it's getting dark.
486
00:20:28,031 --> 00:20:30,570
I paid for the hour,
Salvatore, and I need this.
487
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:33,609
Keep popcorning, Griffin.
488
00:20:33,643 --> 00:20:36,514
Are you an older adult
who thinks he or she
489
00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:39,287
is in an online relationship
with me?
490
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,790
You're probably not.
491
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,428
Hi, I'm Angelica Masters,
492
00:20:43,462 --> 00:20:46,635
and I'm not looking
for anything serious right now,
493
00:20:46,669 --> 00:20:49,540
nor do I need
your social security number
494
00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:52,079
or any other
personal information.
495
00:20:52,112 --> 00:20:55,987
Take it from me,
Angelica Masters will never ask
496
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,726
for your email
or bank account password,
497
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:02,634
your bank routing number,
the name of your first pet,
498
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,470
pictures of your passport,
499
00:21:04,504 --> 00:21:07,744
or any other
personal information.
500
00:21:07,777 --> 00:21:09,815
She is not interested.
501
00:21:09,848 --> 00:21:12,086
And if Angelica Masters asks
502
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,860
for photos of your genitalia...
503
00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:18,733
better send those--
that could be me.
504
00:21:18,766 --> 00:21:20,603
There is nothing is sexier
505
00:21:20,637 --> 00:21:23,609
than protecting
your personal information
506
00:21:23,643 --> 00:21:25,613
from online scammers.
507
00:21:25,647 --> 00:21:29,520
So keep it sexy, L. A.
508
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:31,559
- Good night, everybody!
- Good night!
38746
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