All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S02E21.I.Know.Things.Now.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H265-SiGMA_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,233 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:15,700 UNTIL THE ADOPTION IS LEGALLY FINALIZED, 3 00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:18,333 THE BIRTH MOTHER CAN STILL CHANGE HER MIND, 4 00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:20,800 AND SHE HAS. WARRANTS WERE ISSUED... 5 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:23,533 I'M GOING TO FIRE TOM. IF YOU JUST FIRE HIM, HE'LL SUE YOU, 6 00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:25,467 AND I'LL BACK HIM UP. YOU NEED CAUSE. 7 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:28,233 WELL, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO FIND CAUSE. DECISIONS WERE MADE... 8 00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:30,033 I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING SO AWFUL, 9 00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:32,533 IT IS GOING TO ROCK HER WORLD. 10 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:33,800 THREATS WERE SPOKEN... 11 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,300 SO WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO? 12 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,467 AND PLANS... 13 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,500 PHENOBARBITAL? 14 00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:43,133 IT'S TIME TO GIVE YOUR BROTHER THE PEACE HE DESERVES. 15 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:44,700 ...WERE PUT INTO ACTION. 16 00:00:46,533 --> 00:00:48,800 (Mary Alice) THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR 17 00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:52,300 IN FAIRVIEW WAS A MAN NAMED OLIVER WESTON. 18 00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:55,500 TRY THOUGH HE MIGHT, OLIVER COULDN'T REMEMBER 19 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,833 THE EXACT MOMENT HE STOPPED BELIEVING IN LOVE. 20 00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:01,367 WAS IT THE NIGHT HE CAUGHT AN EXECUTIVE 21 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,267 CHEATING WITH HIS SECRETARY? 22 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,100 (camera shutter clicks) 23 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,067 OR WAS IT THE DAY HE SAW A HOUSEWIFE 24 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,100 CHEATING WITH HER DELIVERY BOY? 25 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:11,167 (camera shutter clicks) 26 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,733 OR WAS IT THE TIME HE CAUGHT THE GIRL NEXT DOOR 27 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:16,167 CHEATING WITH THE COUPLE WHO LIVED ACROSS THE STREET? 28 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,133 (camera shutter clicks) 29 00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:19,667 WHENEVER THE MOMENT, 30 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,533 OLIVER WESTON WAS NOW OFFICIALLY A CYNIC 31 00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:27,233 WHO ONLY BELIEVED IN BETRAYAL AND SUSPICION. 32 00:01:27,267 --> 00:01:30,067 LUCKILY FOR OLIVER, THAT'S WHAT PAID HIS BILLS. 33 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:33,067 (Susan) OKAY, YOU FORGOT FIGHTING. 34 00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:34,833 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 35 00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:36,800 OH. SORRY, MAN. ARE THESE YOUR BUSHES? 36 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,367 I'LL CLEAN THAT ALL UP WHEN I'M DONE. 37 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,533 IT'LL BE LIKE I WAS NOT HERE. 38 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,800 YOU'RE DONE NOW. WHOA, EASY, BIG FELLA. 39 00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:45,800 I'M JUST A P.I. DOING A DOMESTIC SURVEILLANCE JOB. 40 00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:47,533 FOR WHO? 41 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,333 THE BLONDE LADY AT THE END OF THE STREET. 42 00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:50,800 EDIE BRITT? 43 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:52,400 YEAH. THAT'S HER FIANCé. 44 00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:54,667 APPARENTLY, HE DUMPED HER FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, 45 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:57,100 AND I JUST FIGURED OUT WHO. 46 00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:59,367 SUSAN? (chuckles) THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON THERE. 47 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,833 THEY USED TO BE MARRIED. SHE'S ONLY TALKING TO HIM 48 00:02:01,867 --> 00:02:04,733 BECAUSE THEY HAVE A KID TOGETHER. FROM WHAT I HEARD, THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY TO KID NUMBER TWO. 49 00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:08,233 WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. YEAH, AND YOU DON'T KNOW THESE SOCCER MOMS LIKE I DO. 50 00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:10,167 BY DAY, THEY BAKE COOKIES AND CARPOOL. 51 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,367 BUT DIM THE LIGHTS AND BAM-- THEY TURN INTO TOTAL PIGS. 52 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,600 (imitates pig squealing) 53 00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:16,233 SHE'S NOT LIKE THAT. 54 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:17,700 OH, PLEASE. LOOK AT HER. 55 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:21,133 THAT WOMAN CLEARLY KNOWS HER WAY AROUND A MATTRESS. 56 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:28,833 YES, OLIVER WESTON HAD BECOME A CYNIC, 57 00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:31,433 WHICH IS WHY HE COULDN'T RECOGNIZE 58 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:33,633 A MAN WHO WAS STILL IN LOVE. 59 00:02:41,267 --> 00:02:43,100 EVERY FAMILY HAS A WAY OF HIDING 60 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:46,067 WHAT IT DOESN'T WANT SEEN... 61 00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:47,800 WHETHER IT'S WITH A PICTURE 62 00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:51,700 THAT COVERS A STAIN ON THE WALL... 63 00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:57,167 OR WITH A CLOSET DOOR THAT CONCEALS THE CHAOS INSIDE... 64 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,100 OR WITH ARTIFICIAL SMILES 65 00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:03,267 THAT MASK YEARS OF PAIN AND HEARTACHE, 66 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,167 EVERY FAMILY GOES TO GREAT LENGTHS 67 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,633 TO HIDE UGLY TRUTHS. 68 00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:11,467 SOME, OF COURSE, GO FURTHER THAN OTHERS. 69 00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:21,567 SO ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS TONIGHT? 70 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,300 NO, THE ICE CREAM IS FOR TOMORROW. 71 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:28,133 I'M TAKING CALEB ON A PICNIC TO ROCKWATER LAKE. 72 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,333 I'M PREPARING ALL OF HIS FAVORITE FOODS. 73 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:34,067 SO WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU'RE JUST GONNA... 74 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,500 LEAVE HIM LYING THERE? 75 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,800 NO. 76 00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:44,133 I'LL CALL 9-1-1 ANONYMOUSLY, 77 00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:48,567 BUT I WILL BE WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE TO MAKE SURE 78 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,100 THAT... (voice breaking) THAT THEY PICK UP HIS BODY. 79 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,133 YOU KNOW, MOM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 80 00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:58,067 I WON'T LET HIM HURT ANOTHER GIRL, 81 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,433 AND I WILL NOT TURN HIM OVER 82 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:02,733 TO PEOPLE WHO WILL MOCK AND ABUSE HIM. 83 00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,233 I JUST WON'T. 84 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:11,400 HIS LAST DAY ON THIS EARTH 85 00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,700 IS GOING TO BE A PERFECT ONE. 86 00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:17,367 (crying softly) 87 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,800 OH, NO, THANKS, XIAO-MEI. 88 00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:24,333 THE POOR THING. SHE WAS SO ATTACHED TO LILY. 89 00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,100 WHERE'D ALL THIS FOOD COME FROM? 90 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,667 THE PEOPLE FROM CARLOS' CHURCH. 91 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:31,233 SO YOU THINK YOU AND CARLOS WILL TRY FOR ANOTHER ADOPTION? 92 00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:33,800 I DON'T THINK I COULD GO THROUGH THAT PAIN AGAIN. HMM. 93 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:36,267 I DID FREEZE SOME OF MY EGGS, SO WE MIGHT 94 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,300 DO THE SURROGACY THING, BUT I DON'T KNOW. 95 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,200 HONEY, YOU'VE GOT TO EAT SOMETHING. I DON'T HAVE AN APPETITE. 96 00:04:41,233 --> 00:04:43,133 IN FACT, THIS IS ALL GONNA GO TO WASTE. 97 00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:45,567 YOU GUYS SHOULD TAKE SOMETHING. NO, NO, YOU SHOULD KEEP IT. 98 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,533 I'LL TAKE A COUPLE. 99 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:52,800 WHAT? KARL DUMPED ME, SO I'M ALONE. 100 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:55,233 FOOD FILLS THE VOID. 101 00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:57,533 (sobbing) 102 00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:59,500 XIAO-MEI, I APPRECIATE YOUR GRIEF, BUT, REALLY, 103 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,767 YOU'RE BRINGING EVERYBODY DOWN. WILL YOU PULL IT TOGETHER? 104 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,600 MRS. SOLIS... 105 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,800 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IT'S FROM THE GOVERNMENT. 106 00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:12,200 LET ME SEE. 107 00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:13,667 GABY, SHE'S BEING DEPORTED. 108 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,600 XIAO-MEI, IS THIS THE FIRST LETTER LIKE THIS 109 00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:16,567 YOU'VE RECEIVED? 110 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,633 (sighs) 111 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,367 (gasps) 112 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,667 (gasps) OH, MY... THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 113 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,800 I CAN'T GO HOME! 114 00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:29,700 MY UNCLE WILL SELL ME AGAIN. 115 00:05:29,733 --> 00:05:32,233 OH, NO, NO, XIAO-MEI, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 116 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:34,367 HEY, YOU'RE MUCH TOO IMPORTANT TO CARLOS AND ME. 117 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,467 WE'RE GONNA FIGHT THIS AND WE'RE GONNA WIN. 118 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,667 GABY, YOU CAN'T PROMISE HER THAT. 119 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,600 BREE, YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID. 120 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,700 I CAN'T LET THIS POOR KID GO BACK TO CHINA 121 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,633 AND BECOME SOMEONE'S SLAVE. 122 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:46,333 THANK YOU. 123 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:49,600 ALL RIGHT. LOOK, MY FRIENDS WANNA TAKE SOME OF THIS TO GO, 124 00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:53,067 SO PACK IT UP, AND WE'RE A LITTLE LOW ON COFFEE. 125 00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:55,367 (sighs) 126 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,400 (chuckles) 127 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,067 YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA LET ME EAT THIS? 128 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,733 WELL, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD, 129 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,833 OFF ON BUSINESS TRIPS ALL THE TIME. 130 00:06:04,867 --> 00:06:07,467 TONIGHT, WE THROW CAUTION AND CHOLESTEROL TO THE WIND. 131 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,567 (laughs) 132 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,533 YOU DESERVE A LITTLE COMFORT FOOD. 133 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,300 OH, NO, YOU'RE PREGNANT. 134 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,167 GOD, YOUR MIND GOES TO DARK PLACES. 135 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:21,233 HONEY, YOU JUST SERVED ME A PLATE OF FULL-FAT GOUDA. 136 00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:22,367 WHAT'S UP? 137 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,800 OKAY, WELL... 138 00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:29,133 REMEMBER I WAS HELPING ED SPARK UP HIS LOVE LIFE? 139 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:31,500 YEAH, YOU SENT HIS WIFE THOSE SEXY I.M.s. WHY? 140 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:34,433 WELL, FRAN FOUND OUT THAT ED DIDN'T SEND THEM, 141 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:36,367 AND SHE BLEW HER TOP. 142 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,633 SHE WANTS THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FIRED, 143 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:42,700 AND ED LIED AND TOLD HER... 144 00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:44,233 THAT YOU SENT THEM. 145 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:46,200 BUT--BUT IT WASN'T ME. IT WAS YOU. 146 00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,833 I KNOW. 147 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:49,767 OH, OH, BUT ED COULDN'T POSSIBLY LOSE YOU. 148 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,300 NO, NO, NO, I'M THE EXPENDABLE ONE. 149 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:54,533 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S RIDICULOUS, 150 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,667 BUT ED IS NOT A RATIONAL PERSON. 151 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,367 FRAN HAS HIM WHIPPED, 152 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,467 AND A WHIPPED HUSBAND IS SOMEONE WE MUST TAKE VERY SERIOUSLY. 153 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,233 OKAY. 154 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,667 HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS? 155 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,200 YOU'RE UNDER CONTRACT. 156 00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:11,800 ED CAN'T FIRE YOU UNLESS HE HAS JUST CAUSE. 157 00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:15,333 SO UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER, YOU HAVE TO BE A MODEL EMPLOYEE. 158 00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:19,200 SHOW UP ON TIME, NO MORE 3-MARTINI LUNCHES, 159 00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:21,167 AND ABOVE ALL, HAVE READY ALL YOUR PRESENTATIONS. 160 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,633 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BEING VICTIMIZED LIKE THIS. 161 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,267 WELL, HONEY, IN ALL FAIRNESS... 162 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,467 THOSE ARE ALL THINGS YOU SHOULD BE DOING ANYWAY. 163 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,733 FINE! 164 00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:43,700 ANDREW, I AM HAVING PETER OVER FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT, 165 00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:47,400 AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO INVITE JUSTIN? 166 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:50,333 YEAH. UM, THANKS. I'LL--I'LL CALL HIM TONIGHT. 167 00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:52,267 SINCE YOU TWO ARE HAVING YOUR BOYFRIENDS OVER, 168 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,667 CAN I INVITE MATTHEW? OUT OF THE QUESTION. 169 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,167 SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT-- YOU CAN DATE A LUSH, 170 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,100 AND HE CAN BRING OVER HIS GAY LOVER, 171 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,067 BUT GOD FORBID I DATE A HOT BLACK GUY. 172 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,400 UNTIL THEY LOCK CALEB UP, 173 00:08:02,433 --> 00:08:04,567 I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR THAT FAMILY. 174 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,500 HIS BROTHER TRIED TO RAPE YOU, 175 00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:08,833 AND HIS MOTHER KEEPS THE GUY LOCKED UP IN A BASEMENT. 176 00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:11,333 I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT, DANIELLE, EVEN YOU COULD DO BETTER. 177 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,567 SINCE WHEN DO YOU TAKE MOM'S SIDE OVER MINE? 178 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,633 YOUR BROTHER AND I HAD A TALK, 179 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:18,200 AND WE'VE COME TO A DéTENTE OF SORTS. 180 00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:21,400 REALLY? EVEN AFTER SHE SCREWED YOU OUT OF YOUR TRUST FUND? 181 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,700 WELL, HE DID FALSELY ACCUSE ME OF CHILD ABUSE. 182 00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:25,667 I WOULD SAY WE'RE EVEN. WOULDN'T YOU, ANDREW? 183 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,867 SURE, MOM. WE'RE EVEN. 184 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,833 (chuckles) 185 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:35,300 (lowers voice) YOU CAN STOP SMILING NOW. 186 00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,300 I KNOW YOUR FACE IS TIRED. WHAT? 187 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,567 I'M NOT STUPID. I KNOW YOU HATE HER NOW AS MUCH AS EVER. 188 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,167 MOM AND I ARE IN A GOOD PLACE RIGHT NOW. 189 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,567 WHY CAN'T YOU BELIEVE THAT? 190 00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:48,300 HI. I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. WHAT'S UP? 191 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,367 COME ON IN. 192 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,700 THIS IS OLIVER WESTON. 193 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,567 HE'S A P.I. EDIE HIRED. 194 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,733 EDIE HIRED A... P.I.? 195 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,533 YEAH. HE'S BEEN SPYING ON YOU AND KARL. 196 00:08:59,567 --> 00:09:01,267 HOW YOU DOING? 197 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,267 HE THINKS YOU TWO HAVE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR. 198 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,333 ME AND KARL? 199 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:08,067 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? 200 00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:12,100 (Karl) COME ON, SUZE. YOU KNOW WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. 201 00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,467 (Susan's voice) KARL, JUST STOP. 202 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,567 WELL... 203 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,100 THAT IS KARL BEING NOSTALGIC. 204 00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,500 (Karl) YOU SAID YOURSELF, 205 00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:22,533 THE SEX LAST WEEK WAS THE BEST YOU EVER HAD. 206 00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,067 (tape recorder stops) 207 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:27,167 OKAY, UM... 208 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,600 FIRST OF ALL, IT WAS NOT THE BEST SEX I EVER HAD. 209 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:31,500 I JUST SAID THAT TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER. 210 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:34,100 (whispers) OBVIOUSLY, YOU WERE THE BEST SEX I EVER HAD. 211 00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,800 THAT EXPLAINS THE PUNCH IN THE FACE. 212 00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:38,067 I'M GONNA HIT YOU AGAIN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP. 213 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,800 I KNOW THAT THIS LOOKS BAD-- 214 00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:42,067 YOU WERE ACTUALLY FOOLING AROUND WITH KARL BEHIND EDIE'S BACK. 215 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,833 NO, NO, NO! NO, KARL LIED TO ME. 216 00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:46,133 HE TOLD ME THAT HE AND EDIE HAD SPLIT UP BEFORE-- 217 00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:48,333 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN CARE. MIKE... 218 00:09:48,367 --> 00:09:50,500 (Oliver) ARE WE DONE HERE? (Mike) YEAH. 219 00:09:50,533 --> 00:09:53,200 GOOD NIGHT, SUSAN. 220 00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:56,100 OH... 221 00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:59,333 HEY! HEY, YOU, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. UM... 222 00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,133 OKAY, YOU CANNOT TELL EDIE ABOUT THIS. 223 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,600 WHATEVER SHE'S PAYING YOU, I'LL PAY YOU DOUBLE. 224 00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:06,267 SHE PAID A 2-GRAND RETAINER PLUS EXPENSES. 225 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,033 $2,000? 226 00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:10,800 JEEZ! I GOTTA GET INTO REAL ESTATE. 227 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:13,467 OKAY, I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF CASH. 228 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:17,267 WELL, THEN, I GUESS I TAKE THE TAPE TO MISS BRITT. 229 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,800 I HAVE A COPY! 230 00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,367 UGH! 231 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,100 (sighs) 232 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:31,200 OKAY, LET'S TRY THIS ANOTHER WAY. 233 00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:35,100 YOU ARE ABOUT TO UNLEASH A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. 234 00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:37,600 LIVES ARE GOING TO BE RUINED. 235 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:39,267 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 236 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,400 I'LL HOLD OFF TILL MONDAY TO REPORT TO MS. BRITT. 237 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,300 YES! THAT'LL GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO SCRAPE TOGETHER 238 00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,800 A LITTLE CASH. WHAT IF I CAN'T? 239 00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,267 (imitates explosion) 240 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,667 I'M SORRY, BUT XIAO-MEI MISSED ALL OF HER APPEAL DEADLINES. 241 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:05,233 SO THAT'S IT? YOU'RE JUST GONNA SEND HER BACK TO CHINA? 242 00:11:05,267 --> 00:11:06,633 MY HANDS ARE TIED. 243 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,633 IF YOUR MAID WERE MARRIED TO AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, 244 00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:12,167 OR HAD A CHILD WHO WAS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, 245 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,467 OR IF SHE WERE A WELL-KNOWN ENTERTAINER... 246 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:15,533 UH... 247 00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:19,200 WHAT IF SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH AN AMERICAN CITIZEN? 248 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,100 UH, XIAO-MEI? 249 00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:26,100 (chuckles) 250 00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,800 WE SPOKE TO HOMELAND SECURITY, 251 00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,300 AND WE HAVE GOOD NEWS! 252 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,500 I CAN STAY? 253 00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:32,500 MM-HMM! 254 00:11:32,533 --> 00:11:34,500 OH! (crying) THANK YOU! 255 00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,067 OH! OKAY. THANK YOU! 256 00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:39,100 UH... WELL, THERE'S JUST ONE LITTLE THING... 257 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,600 (chuckles) UM... 258 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,200 THE IMMIGRATION LAWS HAVE GOTTEN REALLY TOUGH IN THIS COUNTRY, 259 00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:45,500 SO WE'RE A LITTLE BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL GOING IN. 260 00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,533 BUT WE PLED YOUR CASE, 261 00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:51,400 AND WE FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL, AND THE LAW SAYS YOU CAN STAY... 262 00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:53,233 BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE OUR BABY. 263 00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:54,200 (chuckles) 264 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,700 WHAT? 265 00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:57,633 THE AGENT SAID THAT IF YOU WERE... 266 00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:00,733 PREGNANT WITH AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, 267 00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:02,200 THEN THEY COULDN'T DEPORT YOU. 268 00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:05,633 SO WE THOUGHT, YOU NEED A BABY IN YOUR BELLY, 269 00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,133 WE NEED A SURROGATE... 270 00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:08,800 WIN-WIN-WIN. 271 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:10,567 (chuckles) (squeals) 272 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,433 "SUR-RO-GATE"? 273 00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:15,067 OH, WELL, IT WOULD BE OUR BABY. 274 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,433 IT WOULD JUST BE GROWING INSIDE OF YOU. 275 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,167 I... 276 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,467 OKAY, UH... WELL... 277 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,267 UH... OH! OKAY, IT'S LIKE THIS... 278 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,433 THE THREE OF US ARE MAKING YOUR FAMOUS SZECHUAN DUMPLINGS, 279 00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:30,300 (chuckles) AND I'M THE DOUGH, 280 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,167 AND CARLOS IS THE PORK, 281 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,800 AND YOU'RE THE OVEN. 282 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,333 I HAVE BABY?! 283 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,267 OKAY, WE TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. 284 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:44,167 YOU KNOW, UH, HOSPITAL BILLS 285 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,400 AND MATERNITY CLOTHES AND LAMAZE CLASSES. 286 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,467 AND, OF COURSE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO ANY WORK. 287 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:51,300 (laughs) WELL, UH, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE LIGHT DUSTING. 288 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,467 NOTHING MAJOR. 289 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:54,900 NO! 290 00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:56,833 NO, XIAO-MEI, YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. 291 00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:58,533 IT'S EITHER THIS OR GO BACK TO CHINA. 292 00:12:58,567 --> 00:12:59,700 NO TO BABY! 293 00:12:59,733 --> 00:13:02,167 NO! (sobbing) 294 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,400 (exhales deeply, groans) 295 00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:09,067 HAD TO PUSH THE DUSTING, DIDN'T YOU? 296 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,533 (scoffs) 297 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:14,367 (sighs) PETER, I DON'T THINK I'M BEING UNREASONABLE HERE. 298 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,600 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA ADVERTISE MY ADDICTION HISTORY, 299 00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:19,600 but if your kids ask a direct question, 300 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,100 I'm not gonna lie to them. 301 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,500 RIGHT! UH-HUH. GOOD POINT. 302 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,300 (lowers voice) LISTEN, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO LIE 303 00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,167 ABOUT THE ALCOHOLISM. I MEAN, THEY KNOW THAT'S HOW WE MET. 304 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,067 IT'S JUST... YOU KNOW, THE OTHER THING. 305 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:36,767 OH! THE OTHER THING. THEY'RE JUST GETTING TO KNOW YOU, 306 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,667 AND SO I WANT THEM TO FOCUS ON YOUR GOOD QUALITIES. 307 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,600 I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW THEY'LL REACT 308 00:13:41,633 --> 00:13:43,700 IF THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE A SEX ADDICT. 309 00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,400 WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT? 310 00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:50,267 YOU KNOW HOW YOU WERE MAD AT MOM 311 00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,633 ABOUT NOT LETTING MATTHEW COME TO DINNER? 312 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:53,633 YEAH? 313 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,567 I JUST FIGURED OUT THE FUNNIEST WAY 314 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,567 FOR YOU TO GET BACK AT HER. 315 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,500 OKAY, WHAT'S ON THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY? 316 00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:04,100 I HAVE GOT THE BOSTON TOY PRESENTATION READY TO GO. 317 00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:06,633 ACTUALLY, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A FULL PITCH, 318 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,667 SO JUST GIVE ME THE GIST. 319 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,500 EXCUSE ME? 320 00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:13,667 YOU KNOW, BOIL IT DOWN. GIVE ME ONE LINE. 321 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,600 OKAY, BASICALLY, IT'S "TOYS ARE FUN." 322 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:22,433 I HATE IT. HOW CAN YOU HATE IT? I ONLY GAVE YOU THREE WORDS. 323 00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:24,267 IT'S THREE WORDS I HATE. 324 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,767 OKAY, I'M GONNA TAKE OVER THE BOSTON TOY COMPANY ACCOUNT. 325 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,667 NO, YOU CANNOT TAKE OVER-- IN THE MEANTIME, 326 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,667 YOU SHOULD ALL BE AWARE I DON'T LIKE THE WAY 327 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,833 YOU PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FILING YOUR EXPENSE REPORTS. 328 00:14:32,867 --> 00:14:35,600 THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF PADDING. 329 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:38,367 MEANWHILE, THIS COMPANY IS HEMORRHAGING MONEY. 330 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,300 I'M GONNA PUT A STOP TO IT, 331 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:42,267 SO I HAVE HIRED A FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT. 332 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,367 HE'S GONNA GO THROUGH THEM, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S KOSHER. 333 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,833 AND I FIND ONE RECEIPT, ONE BAR TAB THAT'S FISHY, 334 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:50,067 IT'S GROUNDS FOR DISMISSAL. 335 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,600 OH, SCAVO? 336 00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:56,667 HE'S GONNA START WITH YOU. 337 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,600 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SON OF A BITCH 338 00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:00,133 HIRED A FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT. 339 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,067 HE'S MORE WHIPPED THAN I THOUGHT. 340 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,833 WELL, HE'S TRAGICALLY UNDERESTIMATED US. 341 00:15:03,867 --> 00:15:05,767 THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF. 342 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,700 YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST QUIT. 343 00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:09,633 WHAT? YESTERDAY YOU WERE UP IN ARMS. 344 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,767 NOW YOU'RE READY TO CAVE? IF ED IS DETERMINED TO GET ME, SOONER OR LATER, 345 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,267 HE'S GONNA GET ME. IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME. 346 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,067 NO, NO! WE ARE NOT BACKING DOWN. 347 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,800 I'M GONNA WALK OVER TO ED'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW, 348 00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:21,233 AND I'M GONNA MAKE VERY CLEAR THAT IF YOU'RE OUT THE DOOR, 349 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,433 I'M RIGHT BEHIND YA. WE CAN'T BOTH BE UNEMPLOYED. 350 00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,367 OH, IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN. HE KNOWS THIS PLACE 351 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,267 WILL GO DOWN LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS WITHOUT ME. 352 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,600 HONEY, WAIT. JUST WAIT! 353 00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:31,167 WHAT, WHAT? 354 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,233 I'M NOT GONNA HIDE BEHIND MY WIFE'S SKIRT. 355 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,367 WE'RE A TEAM. I'M JUST LENDING SUPPORT. 356 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,267 THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT'S GONNA LOOK 357 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,067 TO EVERYBODY ELSE OUT THERE. 358 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,667 LOOK, LET ME TALK TO HIM, MAN TO MAN. 359 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:46,133 IF MY WAY DOESN'T WORK, THEN WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY. 360 00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:49,500 OKAY, GO GET HIM. 361 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,500 (sighs) 362 00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:03,067 (faintly) LYNETTE FILLED ME IN 363 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,200 ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU AND FRAN AND THE I.M., 364 00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:08,233 AND I GOTTA TELL YA, THIS ISN'T FAIR. THIS ISN'T RIGHT. 365 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,433 (gasps) 366 00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:17,200 (groaning) 367 00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,400 OH, MY GOD! 368 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,600 OH, MY GOD! 369 00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:22,067 TOM, WHAT HAPPENED? 370 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,100 I THINK I GAVE HIM JUST CAUSE. 371 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,067 UH... 372 00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:36,233 SUSAN KNEW SHE COULDN'T AFFORD TO KEEP THE P.I. 373 00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:38,833 FROM REVEALING HER AFFAIR WITH KARL, 374 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:42,333 AND SINCE EDIE WOULD LEARN THE TRUTH ANYWAY, 375 00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:46,600 SUSAN FELT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF IT CAME FROM HER... 376 00:16:46,633 --> 00:16:49,100 WHICH IS HOW SHE CAME TO WRITE A LETTER 377 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,533 BEGGING EDIE FOR FORGIVENESS. 378 00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:55,100 HER WORDS WERE SO SINCERE AND HEARTFELT, 379 00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,633 FROM THE MOMENT SHE MAILED IT, SUSAN KNEW... 380 00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,500 (horn honks) 381 00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:02,633 SHE WAS A DEAD WOMAN. 382 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,767 YOU KNOW, CALEB... 383 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,400 SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, 384 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:15,267 I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOU AS A BLESSING. 385 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,700 YOU DO KNOW THAT, RIGHT? 386 00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:21,067 I GUESS. 387 00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:25,133 HOW COME MATTY'S NOT HERE? 388 00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:29,067 BECAUSE THIS IS OUR SPECIAL DAY, 389 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,600 JUST YOU AND ME. 390 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,767 IS HE MAD AT ME? 391 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,333 'CAUSE OF DANIELLE? 392 00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:39,067 NO. HE KNOWS THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE HER. 393 00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:43,067 'CAUSE HE SAID IT WAS OKAY FOR ME TO KISS HER. 394 00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,700 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 395 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,667 HE SAID DANIELLE LIKED ME 396 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,500 AND THAT SHE WOULDN'T FIGHT ME IF I GAVE HER A KISS. 397 00:17:50,533 --> 00:17:52,133 YOUR BROTHER TOLD YOU THAT? 398 00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:55,367 MATTY SAID THAT SHE WAS WAITING FOR ME 399 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,400 AND THAT SHE WANTED A REALLY BIG KISS. 400 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:05,167 WHAT ELSE DID YOUR BROTHER TELL YOU? 401 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:08,767 XIAO-MEI? 402 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:13,167 I MADE YOU SOME HOT COCOA. 403 00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:18,500 I GUESS THE BABY THING DIDN'T REALLY APPEAL TO YOU, HUH? 404 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,400 I KNOW IT'S A LOT TO ASK, 405 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,167 IT'S JUST, CARLOS AND I THINK OF YOU AS FAMILY. 406 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,100 DON'T YOU THINK OF US AS FAMILY? 407 00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:28,800 OH, YES! 408 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,667 YOU ARE LIKE MOTHER TO ME. 409 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,167 MM-HMM. 410 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,567 WELL, IF WE ARE SO FRIGGIN' CLOSE, 411 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,133 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 412 00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:40,067 IT'S NINE MONTHS OUT OF YOUR LIFE. 413 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,800 I WILL BE RUINED. 414 00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:44,100 "RUINED"? 415 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:47,767 DOWN THERE. 416 00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:51,833 WAIT. 417 00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,267 ARE YOU A VIRGIN? 418 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,067 WOW! 419 00:18:56,100 --> 00:19:00,067 IF I HAVE BABY, I WILL BE SHAMED. 420 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,167 (laughing) ARE YOU KIDDING? 421 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,467 NO ONE CARES ABOUT VIRGINITY IN THIS COUNTRY. 422 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,400 IT WENT OUT OF STYLE IN THE '50s, 423 00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:09,433 AND TRUST ME, HONEY, IT AIN'T MAKING A COMEBACK. (laughs) 424 00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,367 SERIOUSLY, NO ONE CARES. 425 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,367 HUSBAND WOULD CARE. 426 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,500 NO MAN WANT ME IF I RUINED. 427 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:20,600 I WANT HUSBAND SO MUCH. 428 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,600 WELL, WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND DO YOU WANT? 429 00:19:24,633 --> 00:19:26,533 DO YOU WANT A RICH HUSBAND? 430 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,367 WELL, THEN, 431 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,300 RICH MEN DON'T MARRY VIRGINS FOR THE SAME REASONS 432 00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,633 THEY DON'T HIRE CHAUFFEURS WHO CAN'T DRIVE-- 433 00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:34,400 THEY VALUE EXPERIENCE. 434 00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:36,300 REALLY? 435 00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:40,300 WOULD I LIE TO FAMILY? 436 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,833 HERE ARE THE NUMBERS YOU WANTED. 437 00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:48,267 LYNETTE, WAIT. 438 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,700 HAVE YOU HEARD FROM TOM? HE'S NOT ANSWERING HIS CELL PHONE. 439 00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,500 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, OKAY? 440 00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,700 YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. HE'S OUT OF THE BUILDING. 441 00:19:54,733 --> 00:19:57,267 COME IN HERE AND CLOSE THE DOOR. 442 00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,200 YOU SURE? I MIGHT PUNCH YOU, TOO. 443 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:02,033 I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES. 444 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:06,333 IF THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY HUSBAND, 445 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,733 I'M NOT GONNA DO IT. 446 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:10,267 MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT YOU, BUT YOU PROVOKED HIM. 447 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,700 NOW WAIT A MINUTE-- NO! I'M SORRY, TOM GETS PUNISHED 448 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:16,100 BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR SCREWED-UP MARRIAGE. 449 00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,600 IT IS PATHETIC, ED. 450 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,700 IF YOU HAD STOOD UP TO YOUR WIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE, 451 00:20:19,733 --> 00:20:21,633 NONE OF THIS--WHAT? I LOVE IT. 452 00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:24,233 YOU'RE GIVING ME CRAP ABOUT MY MARRIAGE. 453 00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,433 YOU KNOW WHAT? HERE! 454 00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:29,333 OH, THE FORENSIC ACCOUNTANT FOUND SOME INTERESTING STUFF 455 00:20:29,367 --> 00:20:31,400 IN TOM'S EXPENSE REPORTS. 456 00:20:31,433 --> 00:20:33,333 YEAH, IT SEEMS ON HIS LAST THREE TRIPS EAST, 457 00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:35,267 HE CASHED IN HIS FIRST-CLASS TICKET 458 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,467 AND TOOK A DETOUR TO ATLANTIC CITY. WHAT? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. 459 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:41,733 WELL, IT'S ALL THERE-- HOTELS, BAR TABS. 460 00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:43,633 OH, AND ON THIS PAGE... 461 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,667 TWO TICKETS TO A SHOW. 462 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,700 AND FLOWERS. 463 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,267 THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 464 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:57,200 THERE'S GOTTA BE SOME KIND OF AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS. 465 00:20:57,233 --> 00:21:00,733 BEFORE YOU PASS JUDGMENT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S MARRIAGE, 466 00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:03,600 I'D CLEAN UP MY OWN HOUSE FIRST. 467 00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,067 SORRY, I DON'T KNOW 468 00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,067 WHAT'S TAKING DANIELLE SO LONG TO GET DRESSED. JUST GIVE HER A BREAK, MOM. 469 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,167 I'M SURE SHE'S JUST TRYING TO LOOK NICE FOR OUR COMPANY. 470 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,100 WELL, I HOPE SHE DOESN'T GET TOO DRESSED UP. 471 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:19,067 I LIKE PEOPLE TO BE COMFORTABLE. 472 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:20,733 OH, I'M COMFORTABLE. 473 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,467 HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 474 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,567 YOU GOT ME THIS FOR CHRISTMAS. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 475 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,333 YES, I JUST--I'M WORRIED YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE COLD. 476 00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:31,567 OH, I THINK IT'S PLENTY WARM IN HERE. 477 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,133 DON'T YOU, MR. McMILLAN? 478 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,133 UH... 479 00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:37,667 SURE. 480 00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:41,667 WELL, UH, WE SHOULD PROBABLY START EATING. 481 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,400 WE DON'T WANT OUR FRITTATAS TO GET COLD. 482 00:21:43,433 --> 00:21:47,067 RIGHT. GOOD. UM, SORRY. EVERYBODY, DIG IN. 483 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:50,100 (coughs) 484 00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:51,233 WOW! 485 00:21:51,267 --> 00:21:54,833 DOES ANYBODY ELSE THINK THIS SALSA'S A LITTLE TOO SPICY? 486 00:21:54,867 --> 00:21:57,533 I ALWAYS SAY, "THE HOTTER, THE BETTER." 487 00:22:00,867 --> 00:22:05,167 SO, MR. McMILLAN, I HEAR YOU WENT TO PERKINS COLLEGE. 488 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,200 I'M THINKING ABOUT GOING THERE AFTER I GRADUATE. 489 00:22:07,233 --> 00:22:10,067 UH, PERKINS, HUH? 490 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,567 I WAS THERE. YEAH, I MADE IT TO EVERY PARTY, 491 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,067 AND I WENT TO CLASSES IN MY SPARE TIME. 492 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:17,233 (laughter) 493 00:22:17,267 --> 00:22:20,333 NO, ACTUALLY, IT'S A GREAT COLLEGE. I THINK YOU'D LIKE IT. 494 00:22:20,367 --> 00:22:21,700 ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL? 495 00:22:21,733 --> 00:22:25,067 GOOD FOOD, PLEASANT CONVERSATION... 496 00:22:25,067 --> 00:22:27,533 THIS REALLY IS A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT. 497 00:22:28,733 --> 00:22:31,200 I FEEL THE SAME WAY. 498 00:22:35,733 --> 00:22:37,567 SO, PETER, IS IT GROWING? 499 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,500 WHAT? 500 00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:44,667 UH, THE CAMPUS. HAS IT GROWN AT ALL SINCE YOU'VE BEEN THERE? 501 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,500 UH... 502 00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,567 YEAH, IT'S, UH... 503 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,800 IT'S GROWN... CON-CONSIDERABLY. 504 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:55,767 I WOULD JUST LOVE TO GET MY HANDS ON A BROCHURE. 505 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,467 THE ALUMNI ASSOCIATION 506 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,100 IS ALWAYS SENDING ME STUFF, YOU KNOW. 507 00:23:01,133 --> 00:23:03,067 I'LL--I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING! 508 00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:05,467 OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY? 509 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,700 I JUST REMEMBERED, YOU KNOW, THIS GUY I'M SPONSORING-- 510 00:23:09,733 --> 00:23:12,600 HE SAID HE NEEDED TO SEE ME TONIGHT, SO I SHOULD GO TO HIM. 511 00:23:12,633 --> 00:23:15,067 WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IMPORTANT, SO-- 512 00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:18,100 YEAH, SO I SHOULD GO. NO NEED TO SHOW ME OUT. 513 00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:20,667 (front door opens, closes) 514 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:21,700 (sighs) 515 00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:24,533 WHAT A SHAME. 516 00:23:24,567 --> 00:23:26,467 I REALLY WANTED HIM TO HAVE A CHANCE 517 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,667 TO GET TO KNOW YOU GUYS. 518 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,433 DON'T WORRY, I... I THINK WE MADE AN IMPRESSION. 519 00:23:38,067 --> 00:23:39,500 HEY. HEY! 520 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,800 I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WERE COMING BACK. 521 00:23:42,833 --> 00:23:46,200 (sighs) I WAITED UNTIL THE PARKING LOT CLEARED. 522 00:23:46,233 --> 00:23:48,233 SO, UM... 523 00:23:48,267 --> 00:23:49,433 WHAT HAPPENED? 524 00:23:49,467 --> 00:23:52,300 YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST GONNA GO IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM. 525 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:53,667 I KNOW, I KNOW. 526 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,600 I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT HIM. (chuckles) 527 00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:57,800 BUT... WHAT'S DONE IS DONE. 528 00:24:00,067 --> 00:24:01,467 ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON? 529 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:02,833 LIKE WHAT? 530 00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:04,767 I DON'T KNOW. 531 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,067 ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT? 532 00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:09,533 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING YOU COULDN'T TELL ME. 533 00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:11,700 I WOULD UNDERSTAND. NO, I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS. 534 00:24:11,733 --> 00:24:14,433 IT'S OKAY, 'CAUSE I DIDN'T FIT IN AROUND HERE ANYWAY. 535 00:24:14,467 --> 00:24:17,300 I'M GONNA GET ANOTHER JOB SOMEPLACE ELSE. 536 00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:18,633 EVERYTHING'S GOOD. 537 00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:20,433 AND YOU, I LOVE. 538 00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:22,233 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 539 00:24:25,467 --> 00:24:27,300 YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? 540 00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,800 NO, WHAT? 541 00:24:29,833 --> 00:24:32,700 IN ALL THE YEARS WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED, 542 00:24:32,733 --> 00:24:36,833 I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LEAD WITH YOUR FISTS. (elevator dings) 543 00:24:36,867 --> 00:24:39,433 WELL... 544 00:24:39,467 --> 00:24:43,433 MAYBE I STILL GOT SOME SURPRISES IN ME. 545 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:46,433 MAYBE YOU DO. 546 00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,067 IS IT DONE? 547 00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:55,667 MM-HMM. 548 00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:57,600 WOW. 549 00:24:57,633 --> 00:24:59,567 WE CAN MOURN YOUR BROTHER LATER. 550 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,433 RIGHT NOW THERE ARE THINGS THAT STILL NEED TO BE DONE. 551 00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:06,067 WE NEED TO GET RID OF EVERYTHING... 552 00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:08,500 MATTRESS, CLOTHES, ALL OF IT. 553 00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:14,633 (locks sliding shut) 554 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,500 MOM, THE--THE DOOR'S LOCKED. 555 00:25:21,533 --> 00:25:23,333 I KNOW. 556 00:25:24,533 --> 00:25:29,300 MOM, YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW! 557 00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:31,433 (pounding on door) 558 00:25:31,467 --> 00:25:33,500 MOM! 559 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,600 HONEY, WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED YET? 560 00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,133 WE HAVE TO BE AT THE FERTILITY CLINIC 561 00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:58,367 IN 40 MINUTES! AW, SHOOT! IS THAT TODAY? 562 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,567 AND, UH, GIVE XIAO-MEI A KICK IN THE PANTS. 563 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,600 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER ALL MORNING. 564 00:26:04,667 --> 00:26:06,267 (sighs) 565 00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:08,067 HEY. 566 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,467 TODAY'S THE, UH, BIG DAY. 567 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,800 YOU READY TO, UH, MAKE A BABY? 568 00:26:15,533 --> 00:26:17,133 READY. 569 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,800 PLEASE... 570 00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:32,333 BE GENTLE. 571 00:26:39,067 --> 00:26:41,667 HONEY, COME ON. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE. 572 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,333 HMM, UH... 573 00:26:47,367 --> 00:26:48,533 I THINK SHE'S CONFUSED 574 00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:52,067 AS TO HOW WE'RE GONNA MAKE THIS BABY HAPPEN. 575 00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:55,200 OH. AND WERE YOU PLANNING ON SETTING HER STRAIGHT? 576 00:26:57,167 --> 00:27:00,300 NEXT THING OUT OF MY MOUTH. 577 00:27:02,233 --> 00:27:04,467 COME ON! THE GUY'S READY TO EXPLODE. 578 00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:07,100 I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH MOM'S BOYFRIEND. 579 00:27:07,133 --> 00:27:09,100 YOU CAN'T BACK OUT NOW. YOU WERE GREAT THE OTHER NIGHT. 580 00:27:09,133 --> 00:27:11,833 YOU GOT PETER ON THE HOOK. HE'S PRIMED. I WAS JUST MESSING WITH HIS HEAD 581 00:27:11,867 --> 00:27:13,433 TO GET BACK AT MOM. THAT'S ALL. 582 00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:16,133 YEAH, BUT WHY STOP THERE? SHE'S KEEPING YOU FROM MATTHEW. 583 00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:18,067 NOW, COME ON, SHE DESERVES THIS. 584 00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:20,067 I'M NOT THAT STUPID. GO GRIND YOUR OWN AX. 585 00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:22,733 (doorbell rings) THAT'S HIM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP. 586 00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:25,767 NOW STRIP DOWN TO YOUR BRA AND PANTIES NOW. GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU PSYCHO! 587 00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:31,767 UM, MY MOM WON'T BE BACK FOR A WHILE, 588 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,400 SO YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA WAIT AROUND. WELL, THAT'S OKAY. 589 00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:36,600 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU GOT THE PERKINS CATALOG. 590 00:27:36,633 --> 00:27:39,400 UH, YOUR MOM TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE GOING ON A TOUR THERE TOMORROW. 591 00:27:39,433 --> 00:27:41,367 YEAH. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 592 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,067 THE CAMPUS IS BEAUTIFUL, THE TEACHERS ARE AMAZING, 593 00:27:44,067 --> 00:27:46,400 AND THE STUDENT BODY IS SUCH A GREAT MIX. 594 00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:49,067 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ALL ABOUT DIVERSITY. 595 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,233 WHATEVER. 596 00:27:50,267 --> 00:27:52,533 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'LL LET MY MOM KNOW YOU STOPPED BY. 597 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:54,267 OKAY. 598 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,200 ANDREW... (clears throat) I ALSO WANTED TO APOLOGIZE 599 00:28:00,233 --> 00:28:02,200 FOR LEAVING SO FAST THE OTHER NIGHT. 600 00:28:02,233 --> 00:28:03,333 I... (chuckles) 601 00:28:03,367 --> 00:28:05,267 I STARTED TO GET THE FEELING 602 00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:07,200 THAT YOUR SISTER WAS COMING ON TO ME, 603 00:28:07,233 --> 00:28:08,800 WHICH WAS UPSETTING BECAUSE-- 604 00:28:08,833 --> 00:28:10,467 YOU'RE A SEX ADDICT? 605 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,733 YOUR MOM TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT? 606 00:28:12,767 --> 00:28:16,067 LET'S JUST SAY THE WORD'S OUT. 607 00:28:16,067 --> 00:28:17,767 BUT, UM, I'M CURIOUS. 608 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,467 BACK IN THE DAY, WHAT KIND OF STUFF WERE YOU INTO? 609 00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,567 I DON'T KNOW THAT I WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT. 610 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,500 WELL, I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE 611 00:28:25,533 --> 00:28:27,167 YOU'RE NOT INTO ANYTHING TOO FREAKY. 612 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,667 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 613 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:31,467 YOU ARE DATING MY MOM, AND I'M KINDA PROTECTIVE OF HER. 614 00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:32,833 WELL, YOU CAN RELAX. 615 00:28:32,867 --> 00:28:35,333 I MEAN, I WASN'T SOME SORT OF PERVERT, YOU KNOW. 616 00:28:35,367 --> 00:28:37,667 ALL I CAN SAY IS... I WENT THROUGH A DARK PERIOD, 617 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:40,133 AND I SLEPT WITH A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. 618 00:28:41,567 --> 00:28:42,667 PEOPLE? 619 00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:44,633 WHAT'S WRONG? 620 00:28:44,667 --> 00:28:48,633 NO, IT'S JUST THAT WHEN MOST GUYS DISCUSS THEIR CONQUESTS, 621 00:28:48,667 --> 00:28:51,133 THEY DON'T SAY "PEOPLE." 622 00:28:51,167 --> 00:28:54,333 (laughs) OH, WELL... 623 00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:56,533 NO, IT'S OKAY. 624 00:28:56,567 --> 00:28:59,667 I APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU VALUE... 625 00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,433 DIVERSITY. 626 00:29:08,367 --> 00:29:10,367 (Susan) WHO IS IT? MIKE. 627 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,200 SUSAN? 628 00:29:15,233 --> 00:29:16,533 HI. SORRY. 629 00:29:16,567 --> 00:29:18,467 I'M JUST ON THE LOOKOUT FOR EDIE. 630 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,800 OH, WELL, YOU CAN RELAX. EDIE WON'T BE COMING AFTER YOU. 631 00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:24,733 WHY? I TALKED TO THE P.I., AND HE'S NOT GONNA TELL HER ANYTHING. 632 00:29:24,767 --> 00:29:27,067 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 633 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:29,767 I PAID HIM OFF, SO IT'S OVER. 634 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,067 I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. 635 00:29:32,067 --> 00:29:34,400 WELL, WAIT. 636 00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:35,700 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 637 00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:38,733 PEOPLE WILL JUST GET HURT IF IT GETS OUT. 638 00:29:38,767 --> 00:29:40,767 I DIDN'T SEE THE POINT. 639 00:29:55,233 --> 00:29:58,067 UH... OH... 640 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,233 (sighs) 641 00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:08,633 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 642 00:30:13,667 --> 00:30:16,467 HEY THERE. YOU LOOK THIRSTY. 643 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,167 THIS IS REALLY NICE OF YOU, MRS. MAYER. 644 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,100 TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I WASN'T EVEN SURE THAT YOU LIKED ME. 645 00:30:22,133 --> 00:30:24,033 AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE ALL SO BUSY 646 00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:28,100 AND DETACHED FROM EACH OTHER. YOU'RE AT MY HOUSE EVERY DAY, 647 00:30:28,133 --> 00:30:30,100 AND SURE, WE WAVE AND WE SAY HELLO, 648 00:30:30,133 --> 00:30:32,367 BUT WE BARELY EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER. 649 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,100 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DELIVERING MY MAIL, 650 00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:36,767 FOR GOD'S SAKE? THREE AND A HALF WEEKS. 651 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,267 REALLY? 652 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:41,200 IT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER. (chuckles) 653 00:30:41,233 --> 00:30:42,533 LET ME TOP YOU OFF. 654 00:30:42,567 --> 00:30:44,800 OH, NO, I COULDN'T. THIS IS MY THIRD GLASS. I... 655 00:30:44,833 --> 00:30:46,367 SERIOUSLY, I'M SLOSHIN'. 656 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:47,467 (both laugh) 657 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,333 WELL, YOU PROBABLY WANNA USE THE BATHROOM 658 00:30:49,367 --> 00:30:50,567 BEFORE YOU LEAVE, HUH? 659 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,667 NO, I'M GOOD. ARE YOU SURE? 660 00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:54,567 UH, I MEAN, YOU HAVE SUCH A LONG ROUTE, 661 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,767 AND THAT ICE TEA'S GONNA GO RIGHT THROUGH YA. 662 00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,700 IT'S BETTER HERE THAN MRS. McCLUSKEY'S HYDRANGEAS. 663 00:31:00,733 --> 00:31:04,300 WELL, YOU KNOW, UH... MAYBE I WILL USE YOUR BATHROOM. 664 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:06,500 GREAT! OH, THE ONE DOWN HERE IS BROKEN. 665 00:31:06,533 --> 00:31:08,433 WHY DON'T YOU USE THE ONE UPSTAIRS? 666 00:31:08,467 --> 00:31:10,300 IT'S RIGHT OFF MY BEDROOM. 667 00:31:10,333 --> 00:31:12,533 YEAH. 668 00:31:12,567 --> 00:31:14,400 OKAY. 669 00:31:14,433 --> 00:31:16,200 GOT IT. (pounds table) 670 00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:28,667 (sighs) 671 00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:36,700 (sighs) 672 00:31:42,467 --> 00:31:44,367 (lowered voice) I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 673 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,700 I MEAN, WHY WOULD XIAO-MEI 674 00:31:45,733 --> 00:31:48,067 JUST OFFER HERSELF UP TO ME LIKE THAT? 675 00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:49,833 (whispering) WELL, HONEY, SHE'S A VIRGIN. 676 00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:51,633 WHO KNOWS WHY VIRGINS DO ANYTHING? 677 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:54,400 SHE'S A VIRGIN? 678 00:31:54,433 --> 00:31:55,700 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 679 00:31:55,733 --> 00:31:59,433 YEAH. I WOULDN'T JUST SLAM HER FOR NO REASON. 680 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,600 MR. SOLIS? 681 00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:04,333 IT'S TIME TO COLLECT YOUR D.N.A. 682 00:32:04,367 --> 00:32:08,067 OH! OKAY, HONEY, ONLY GOOD SWIMMERS NOW. 683 00:32:08,067 --> 00:32:09,100 (chuckles) 684 00:32:11,467 --> 00:32:12,800 IF YOU LIKE, 685 00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:16,400 WE HAVE A VARIETY OF MAGAZINES AND VIDEOS AVAILABLE. 686 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,600 MM... I THINK I'M GOOD. 687 00:32:28,167 --> 00:32:31,533 GUS? ARE YOU OKAY UP THERE? 688 00:32:34,867 --> 00:32:38,333 (gasps) GUS! 689 00:32:38,367 --> 00:32:41,500 UH, DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP THE HAT ON? 690 00:32:41,533 --> 00:32:44,600 I KNOW IT'S A FANTASY FOR SOME WOMEN. 691 00:32:44,633 --> 00:32:46,400 UH... 692 00:32:46,433 --> 00:32:47,633 (chuckles) 693 00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:50,800 MOM? 694 00:32:54,433 --> 00:32:56,133 IS THE MAILMAN HERE? 695 00:32:58,733 --> 00:33:01,600 THAT'S MY DAUGHTER. GET DRESSED! 696 00:33:01,633 --> 00:33:03,100 (Julie) MOM? 697 00:33:03,133 --> 00:33:06,433 YES, HONEY! GUS THE MAILMAN IS HERE! 698 00:33:06,467 --> 00:33:09,700 HE'S USING THE BATHROOM. HE'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE. 699 00:33:09,733 --> 00:33:11,667 OH! (chuckles) DARN IT. 700 00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:14,400 GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE A RAIN CHECK, HUH? 701 00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:16,233 I CAN COME BACK ON TUESDAY. 702 00:33:16,267 --> 00:33:18,333 (laughs) TU-TUESDAY? 703 00:33:18,367 --> 00:33:20,067 NO, NO, TUESDAY'S NOT GOOD, 704 00:33:20,067 --> 00:33:22,800 'CAUSE TUESDAY'S THE DAY I, UM... 705 00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:24,067 BECOME A LESBIAN. 706 00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:25,167 (laughs) 707 00:33:41,067 --> 00:33:42,500 ANDREW? 708 00:33:42,533 --> 00:33:44,833 HONEY, WHERE ARE YOU? I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. 709 00:33:44,867 --> 00:33:47,700 WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? 710 00:33:47,733 --> 00:33:50,233 ANDREW? 711 00:33:50,267 --> 00:33:52,167 ANDREW? 712 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,600 ANDREW? 713 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:58,067 HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED? 714 00:33:58,100 --> 00:34:00,367 HAVE YOU SEEN MY PANTS? I CAN'T-- 715 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:09,133 NOW WE'RE EVEN. 716 00:34:14,267 --> 00:34:15,467 DID YOU FORGET THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE 717 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:17,400 THAT TOUR OF PERKINS COLLEGE TODAY? 718 00:34:17,433 --> 00:34:20,467 SERIOUSLY? 719 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:23,067 AFTER LAST NIGHT, I DIDN'T EXACTLY THINK YOU'D BE TOO KEEN 720 00:34:23,067 --> 00:34:25,367 ON SITTING NEXT TO ME IN A CAR FOR THREE HOURS. 721 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,200 CONSIDER ME A CHEERLEADER FOR ANYTHING THAT EXPEDITES ME 722 00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:30,400 GETTING YOU OUT FROM UNDER MY ROOF. 723 00:34:32,767 --> 00:34:34,733 GLAD WE CAN COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING. 724 00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:58,467 WHY'D WE STOP HERE? WE HAVE HALF A TANK LEFT. 725 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:02,433 THERE'S SO MANY THINGS I WANNA SAY TO YOU, ANDREW. 726 00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:06,433 BUT MOSTLY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW SORRY I AM. 727 00:35:06,467 --> 00:35:08,067 SORRY FOR WHAT? 728 00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:12,700 EVERY CHILD DESERVES TO BE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY, 729 00:35:12,733 --> 00:35:18,233 AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE KIND OF LOVE THAT I HAD FOR YOU. 730 00:35:18,267 --> 00:35:21,233 MAYBE IF I HAD, IT WOULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT. 731 00:35:21,267 --> 00:35:24,333 (chuckles) WHY DO I SUDDENLY GET THE FEELING 732 00:35:24,367 --> 00:35:27,100 WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT OUT TO PERKINS COLLEGE TODAY? 733 00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:36,333 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 734 00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:38,333 I PACKED UP SOME OF YOUR THINGS. 735 00:35:38,367 --> 00:35:40,833 THERE'S ALSO, UM, AN ENVELOPE IN HERE WITH SOME MONEY, 736 00:35:40,867 --> 00:35:43,767 AND THAT SHOULD TIDE YOU OVER UNTIL YOU GET A JOB. 737 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:48,333 WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE? 738 00:35:48,367 --> 00:35:52,433 I NOTICED A BUS STOP ABOUT A MILE BACK. 739 00:35:54,233 --> 00:35:56,067 YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. 740 00:35:56,067 --> 00:35:59,200 MAMA, MOM, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. 741 00:35:59,233 --> 00:36:01,367 I HAVE TO. 742 00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:07,267 I CAN'T BE AROUND YOU ANYMORE. I'M JUST NOT STRONG ENOUGH. 743 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,767 YOU KNOW WHAT THE GOOD NEWS IS? 744 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,167 I WIN. 745 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,067 YOU WIN? 746 00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:24,367 I REMEMBER THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES WHEN I TOLD YOU I WAS GAY, 747 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:28,800 AND I KNEW THAT ONE DAY, YOU WOULD STOP LOVING ME. 748 00:36:31,533 --> 00:36:33,800 SO HERE WE ARE. 749 00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,767 I WAS RIGHT, 750 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,067 AND I... I WIN. 751 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:43,533 WELL, GOOD FOR YOU. 752 00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:34,200 HI. I MADE YOU A THANK-YOU PIE, 753 00:37:34,233 --> 00:37:37,267 AND BY "MADE," I MEAN "BOUGHT." (chuckles) 754 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,133 SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU THANKING ME FOR? 755 00:38:19,167 --> 00:38:21,667 FOR KEEPING EDIE FROM SMASHING MY FACE IN. 756 00:38:23,533 --> 00:38:25,667 THAT'S THE NICEST THING ANYBODY EVER DID FOR ME. 757 00:38:25,700 --> 00:38:28,567 JUST... TRYING TO KEEP PEACE ON THE LANE. 758 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,667 WELL, YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. 759 00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:34,100 I KNOW WHY YOU REALLY PAID THAT GUY OFF. 760 00:38:35,633 --> 00:38:37,567 YOU STILL CARE ABOUT ME. 761 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,400 WHAT? 762 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,333 YOU'RE ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT JULIE AND ME, 763 00:38:43,367 --> 00:38:46,400 AND YOU BEAT UP MY NEW BOYFRIEND. 764 00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:47,267 (chuckles) 765 00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:50,267 AND NOW YOU'RE PROTECTING ME FROM EDIE. 766 00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:53,167 DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THAT MEANS? 767 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,733 THAT YOU'RE HIGH MAINTENANCE? 768 00:38:55,767 --> 00:38:58,667 (laughing) 769 00:38:58,700 --> 00:39:02,400 ALL RIGHT, YOU GO AHEAD AND BE COY. FINE. 770 00:39:02,433 --> 00:39:04,400 I'LL BE THE ONE TO BREAK THE ICE. 771 00:39:05,733 --> 00:39:08,667 I'VE NEVER STOPPED CARING ABOUT YOU. 772 00:39:10,567 --> 00:39:13,100 IS THAT WHY YOU JUMPED IN BED WITH KARL? 773 00:39:13,133 --> 00:39:15,067 I WOULD'VE NEVER EVEN GONE THERE 774 00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:18,233 IF I HAD THOUGHT THERE WAS A CHANCE WITH US. 775 00:39:18,267 --> 00:39:21,233 YOU JUST CLOSED THE DOOR SO COMPLETELY, I... 776 00:39:22,733 --> 00:39:25,500 UGH, CAN WE JUST NOT TALK ABOUT HIM? 777 00:39:26,767 --> 00:39:28,533 HAVE SOME MORE PIE. 778 00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:30,567 I KNOW YOU LIKE PIE. 779 00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:35,067 I KNOW YOU LIKE ME. 780 00:39:37,467 --> 00:39:40,667 LISTEN... 781 00:39:40,700 --> 00:39:43,767 I'M NOT ASKING FOR US TO GET BACK TOGETHER. 782 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,067 I JUST WANT US TO BE FRIENDS. 783 00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:48,433 SUSAN? 784 00:39:48,467 --> 00:39:50,300 YES? 785 00:39:50,333 --> 00:39:52,633 YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE. 786 00:39:52,667 --> 00:39:55,533 (gasps) 787 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,533 MY WHOLE HOUSE IS... ON FIRE! 788 00:40:00,567 --> 00:40:04,833 WHEN THE TRUTH IS UGLY, PEOPLE TRY TO KEEP IT HIDDEN, 789 00:40:04,867 --> 00:40:07,500 BECAUSE THEY KNOW IF REVEALED, 790 00:40:07,533 --> 00:40:10,633 THE DAMAGE IT WILL DO. 791 00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:14,200 SO THEY CONCEAL IT WITHIN STURDY WALLS... 792 00:40:15,267 --> 00:40:18,500 OR THEY PLACE IT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS... 793 00:40:20,067 --> 00:40:24,467 OR THEY OBSCURE IT WITH CLEVER DISGUISES... 794 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:28,667 BUT TRUTH, NO MATTER HOW UGLY, ALWAYS EMERGES... 795 00:40:28,700 --> 00:40:31,700 (siren wailing, horn honking) 796 00:40:34,867 --> 00:40:36,767 AND SOMEONE WE CARE ABOUT 797 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,633 ALWAYS ENDS UP GETTING HURT... 798 00:40:39,667 --> 00:40:43,267 (men shouting indistinctly) 799 00:40:46,133 --> 00:40:50,100 AND SOMEONE ELSE WILL REVEL IN THEIR PAIN, 800 00:40:50,133 --> 00:40:53,133 AND THAT'S THE UGLIEST TRUTH OF ALL. 58263

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