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♪ Someone once told me
the grass is much greener ♪
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00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,170
♪ On the other side. ♪
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:09,800
♪ Well, I paid a visit ♪
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00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,260
♪ While it's possible
I missed it ♪
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00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:16,260
♪ It seemed different
yet exactly the same ♪
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00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,260
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
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00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,560
♪ Till further notice ♪
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00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,690
♪ I'm in between ♪
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00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,860
♪ From where I'm standing ♪
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00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:34,610
♪ My grass is green. ♪
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00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:41,290
♪ Someone once told me
the grass is much greener ♪
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00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,290
♪ On the other side. ♪
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00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:46,420
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,960
and NICKELODEON
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00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,750
(slurps):
Ew!
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00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,630
Not very lemony.
17
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:51,760
Keep juicing.
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00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,920
Maybe we should
just make instant.
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00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,430
I wouldn't dream of altering
20
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:58,510
our pre-county fair tradition
of making real lemonade...
21
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,050
to get us into the mood.
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00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,470
(slurps)
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00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,730
Because nothing
says country like
choking on a seed.
24
00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:06,810
Hey, do you
guys realize
we've been going
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,110
to the county fair
for eight years now?
26
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,440
At least.
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00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,440
Lost my first baby tooth
on a candy apple.
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00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,320
So I've taken the liberty of
updating our list for tomorrow.
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00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,490
I mean, we're way
past kiddie rides
and petting zoos.
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00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,490
I totally agree.
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00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,990
So I have
something new to...
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00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,490
Oh, good.
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00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,660
Now, I thought
we'd enjoy
34
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,790
the Amish
quilt exhibits.
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00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:28,210
Oh, and I wouldn't mind
trying my hand at spinning wool,
36
00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:29,500
if that doesn't offend
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00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:30,880
anyone's
feminist
sensibilities.
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00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,800
DODIE:
We can work
that in,
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00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,670
uh... between the
topiary demonstration
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00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,590
and the rabbit barn.
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00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:38,510
To another great,
unchanged, BFF tradition.
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00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:39,930
I invited Darren.
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00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,350
(spits)
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00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:43,310
Should have gone
with the instant.
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00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:45,140
He is my boyfriend.
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00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,440
But it's always just
been the three of us.
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00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,940
And it still will be...
plus Darren.
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00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,360
He really wants to go.
49
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:53,780
Oh, sure.
50
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:54,820
I never heard him say that.
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00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,280
Correct me
if I'm mistaken,
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00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,410
but didn't Darren use
to moo at us on fair day?
53
00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:03,200
Yeah, when he was, like, ten.
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00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,660
You just want to be stuck
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00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,040
on the Ferris wheel
with your boyfriend,
56
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:11,000
so you can make out
like they do in
every teen movie.
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00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,340
That's not why.
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00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,760
I want to share the day
with him.
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00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,510
And you guys.
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00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:21,890
It'll be just like always.
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00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:23,300
And if anything,
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00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,430
it'll be more fun
with Darren along.
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00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,350
Fine... but I'm not making
a new list.
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00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,400
Darren can just pet the angora
rabbits with the rest of us.
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00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,570
(Macie sneezes)
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00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:35,480
Sorry.
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00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,690
Mere mention.
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00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:40,280
HOODSEY:
Did you know they're milking
a camel at the fair,
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00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,740
and they're selling the milk,
like to drink?
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00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:44,830
I refuse
to be party
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00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,740
to more anti-cow propaganda.
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00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,000
First the soybean,
then the goat
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00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,000
and now a mean-
tempered dromedary?
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00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,920
What if it spits
while it's being milked?
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00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,250
Oh, we wouldn't want
to miss that.
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00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:58,010
Sour Explosion layer?
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00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,920
No lactating camels for us,
Hoods.
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00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:03,180
We have bigger freaks to fry.
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00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,510
I heard from Dwayne,
who heard from his
carny worker cousin,
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00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,640
that this year's fair
is showcasing
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00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,270
an exhibit of nature's oddities.
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00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:10,890
Wow!
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00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:13,060
I wonder what it'd be like
84
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:14,360
to have a carny worker
in the family.
85
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,940
Beyond our wildest dreams,
but that's not the point.
86
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,320
Dwayne's cousin, who
goes by one name--
87
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,570
Raymo-- says that...
88
00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:22,320
Raymo.
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00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,120
Even sounds
like a carny worker.
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00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,790
Enviably so,
but again, not the point.
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00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:28,870
One of nature's
oddities is
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00:03:28,950 --> 00:03:32,040
a real, live,
two-headed horse.
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00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,370
No way!
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00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:37,460
With two noses and four eyes
and four ears and everything?
95
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,300
Yep.
96
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,380
(cracks lollipop)
97
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,090
Cracked through
to the jalapeño.
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00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:42,630
You finish.
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00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,970
I'm too excited to eat.
100
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,390
A two-headed horse.
101
00:03:47,470 --> 00:03:49,770
We got to see it, Carl!
102
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:52,140
This violates the best
friend/boyfriend pact,
103
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:53,690
and Ginger knows it.
104
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:54,810
It clearly states
that the best friend
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00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,320
must get prior
verbal approval
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00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,530
before invading
a "girls only" event
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00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:00,740
with said boyfriend,
108
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,900
or it's an
all-out conflict.
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00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:04,700
Um... could we not talk?
110
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,660
Because when you get
all military-like,
111
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,870
it's scary and confusing.
112
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,040
Oh, how can I expect
you to understand?
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00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,080
You don't even care
about the county fair.
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00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,750
For your info-tainment,
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00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:18,670
me and Carl are going
to the fair tomorrow.
116
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:23,090
What's the Gripling limo
doing in our neighborhood?
117
00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:24,840
Hi, Courtney.
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00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,260
How's it going?
119
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:27,550
Oh.
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00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,760
Not too close,
Dodie.
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00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:31,140
I've come down
with a dreadful
case of boredom,
122
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,480
and it might be
catching.
123
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,690
Huh?
124
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:36,560
Summer is almost over,
and I haven't had
125
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:37,860
that offbeat
summer experience,
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00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:40,820
which I will use
to enthrall
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00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,280
less-interesting
peers on school's
first day.
128
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,910
And don't suggest
I recycle one of
my old stories.
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00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:48,990
That may have
worked last year,
130
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:49,870
but not in high school.
131
00:04:49,950 --> 00:04:53,040
What's Ginger up to these days?
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00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,170
Oh, just violating
practically every BFF law
there ever was.
133
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:58,500
Tension in the ranks?
134
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,040
Oh.
135
00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:00,710
How un-boring.
136
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,260
Courtney...
137
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:07,010
I think I know just the offbeat
summer experience for you.
138
00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:08,800
Hmm...
139
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,810
Last night's chow mein...
140
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:11,680
rind of gouda.
141
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,270
Oh, we have a winner!
142
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,600
Week-old Tex-Mex casserole.
143
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,650
Mrs. F, I can't help but admire
144
00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:21,020
your confidence
in your leftovers.
145
00:05:21,110 --> 00:05:21,650
Comes with age, Macie.
146
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:22,900
You girls want eggs?
147
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,400
Sounds good,
but we can't.
148
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,410
We're saving our stomachs
for fair food.
149
00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:30,950
Well, my stomach can handle
Lois' special eggs
150
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,830
and a fried salami on a stick,
thank you very much.
151
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:33,870
LOIS:
That reminds me...
152
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,410
my Miracle Man Slicer-Dicer--
153
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,130
it's on the fritz ever since
you ruined the last one,
154
00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:39,920
cutting up
old boots.
155
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,670
Julie and old boots.
156
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,300
Whatever.
157
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:47,430
I need a replacement, and
they only sell them at the fair.
158
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:48,630
Ginger, take $20
159
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,100
and pick me up
a new one, would you?
160
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,430
Hey, all!
161
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,390
Or should
I just say moo?
162
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,520
Hi, Darren.
163
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,900
Want some of
my huevos especiale?
164
00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:01,190
Do I smell last week's
Tex-Mex casserole?
165
00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:01,770
Right on.
166
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,730
GINGER:
You can't.
167
00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:06,610
It's our tradition
to head straight
168
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:09,070
for the giant deep-fried
sticky bun booth.
169
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,160
(chuckles)
170
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,450
Darren...
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00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:14,660
might I suggest that
you allow Hoodsey and myself
172
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:17,000
to show you
the real county fair--
173
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,790
the dark, seamy underbelly
that the girls never see
174
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:22,460
as they stroll through
bunny barns and the like?
175
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,380
We're going
to the bunny barns?
176
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,800
I promise you'll have
the best day ever.
177
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,640
Maybe we'll even get stuck
on top of the Ferris wheel,
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00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,180
if you know what I mean.
179
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,510
Not really.
180
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,140
LOIS:
I know
what you mean.
181
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:38,480
Heck, that ploy was around when
Martha Washington was a girl.
182
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,560
And it does no good to bribe
the Ferris wheel operator,
183
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,650
believe me.
184
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:43,940
(car horn beeps)
185
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,530
CHAUFFEUR:
Good day, all.
186
00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:49,400
I'm here to shuttle everyone
to the county fair.
187
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,160
Good morning,
simple country folk.
188
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:56,490
Whoa.
189
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,120
It's Heidi meets
Ellie Mae meets a stylist.
190
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,710
Courtney, what are
you doing here?
191
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,040
Going to the fair with you,
of course.
192
00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:06,800
Our county fair?
193
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,210
The very same, Macie.
194
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:11,380
Why, I would never have even
known we lived in a county
195
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:13,260
if it weren't for Dodie.
196
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,690
It's everything I imagined--
197
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:30,860
the sights, the smells,
the lack of fashion.
198
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:31,570
So, uh, hey...
199
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,990
let's hit the rides,
have some food
200
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,660
and, uh... what,
split by 1:00?
201
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,870
One?
202
00:07:36,950 --> 00:07:38,240
We always stay until night.
203
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:39,540
You do?
204
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:40,620
I mean, we do?
205
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,330
COURTNEY:
Oh, Darren...
206
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,120
haven't you seen
Dodie's list?
207
00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:46,880
So much to do,
so little time.
208
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,630
Mmm... my thoughts exactly.
209
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,050
Come on, Hoods.
210
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,840
Meet back here at 8:00.
211
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:52,720
No prob.
212
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,090
Say, sis...
213
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,100
how about letting me
relieve your burden
214
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:58,930
of purchasing the momster
a new slicer-dicer?
215
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,890
Hold on.
216
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,900
You're going to
conveniently forget
217
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,270
and use the money
for junk.
218
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,520
Uh... how right you are
not to trust me.
219
00:08:07,610 --> 00:08:09,940
I was going to use it
for multiple viewings
220
00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,280
of the two-headed horse.
221
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,910
You are seriously disturbed.
222
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:14,990
Well, then,
I'm in the right place.
223
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:17,490
(both cackle)
224
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,920
You were right.
225
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,880
These things are great.
226
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,050
I know.
227
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:35,640
That's why I wanted to be
here for your first bite.
228
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,890
Do you people know
what you're doing?
229
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:41,770
Why, nursing seals have
less fat than these buns.
230
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:44,270
Yes, but the giant
deep-fried pickle
231
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:47,100
burns serious calories
just with the chewing,
232
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,650
so it balances out.
233
00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:52,030
Courtney, we don't want to
think about fat grams today.
234
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,700
We come here to feel young
and uncomplicated.
235
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,110
Really?
236
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,450
Oh, I've always wanted
to feel that way.
237
00:08:58,530 --> 00:08:59,780
Maybe later we can go
238
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,790
on one of those
nauseating rides,
239
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:03,960
and I'll toss my cookies
in a metal rubbish bin.
240
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,170
Cool with me.
241
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:08,000
Ew... Darren.
242
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:11,300
COURTNEY:
Are you telling me
243
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:14,630
these fuzzy, cuddly creatures
are real, live sheep?
244
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,840
MACIE:
Best in the county.
245
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:18,720
They're getting ready
for the show ring.
246
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,060
Competition, stylish outfits,
attentive servants.
247
00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:24,730
Sheep are so me.
248
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,690
Come on, we'll show you
our favorite.
249
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,940
Good luck, Mamie.
250
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,480
She won't be
showing this year.
251
00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,320
Mamie's just given birth.
252
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,650
There's
her lamb.
253
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,070
(bleats feebly)
254
00:09:37,150 --> 00:09:39,320
It's refusing to nurse.
255
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:44,160
Once it rejects its mother,
we have to take it away.
256
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,830
Wrench a newborn babe
257
00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:48,330
from this prize-winning,
snowy-white sow,
258
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,000
just because it's not thirsty
at the moment?
259
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,090
Barbaric!
260
00:09:53,170 --> 00:09:55,170
Ginger, hurry up.
261
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,470
Dodie Bishop can't hurry me...
262
00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,300
not on fair day...
263
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,050
not in the sheep barn.
264
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,930
Yeah, about that--
265
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,850
did you notice
it smells in here?
266
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:05,730
No, it doesn't.
267
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:08,350
Besides, it's part
of being around animals.
268
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,520
So what's say we go
be around some rides?
269
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,110
I hear the Screaming Squid
hangs you upside down for
a whole 30 seconds.
270
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:17,360
That's for later.
271
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,740
Can't you just enjoy
the sheep barn?
272
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,570
I don't have
to do that, do I?
273
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,030
Because these are new Kicks.
274
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,160
None of this silliness.
275
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,750
You can reject
your mother later
276
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:27,410
when you're a teenage lamb.
277
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,460
MACIE:
The lamb is
drinking.
278
00:10:30,540 --> 00:10:32,040
Farmer Don!
279
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,880
I can't believe it.
280
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,130
You've got a way
with animals, young lady.
281
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:40,050
Our very own sheep whisperer.
282
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:43,050
Now, I noticed
some icky stuff
on the lamb's head,
283
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,600
so you might want
to give her
284
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,470
a quick shampoo
and blow-dry.
285
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,890
Oh, the mama sheep
will take care of that.
286
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,230
It's just the afterbirth.
287
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,440
I'll meet you outside.
288
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,230
Darren!
289
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,190
Something wrong
with Darren?
290
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,150
Too much
sharing the day.
291
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,360
(hums smugly)
292
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:08,500
(carnival music playing)
293
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,120
That's got to be Raymo.
294
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:14,750
Name's Carl.
295
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,250
Your cousin Dwayne
told me to look you up.
296
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,800
Said you knew your way
around this place.
297
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,640
Don't remember having
a cousin Dwayne.
298
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,600
Yeah, well, Dwayne
said you wouldn't.
299
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,730
My friend and I are
on a scientific quest.
300
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:31,520
Perhaps you
could, uh...
301
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,310
Go behind the Tilt 'n' Spin
and veer right by the Funhouse.
302
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,190
Second tent down.
303
00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,110
Got the pony you're looking for.
304
00:11:39,190 --> 00:11:40,650
Let's go, Carl.
305
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:41,570
Thank you.
306
00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:43,780
Oh, I'd also like to thank you
307
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,490
for remaining
a true American icon,
308
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,870
the last of
a dying breed,
309
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,870
like the cowboy
and the big band leader.
310
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:51,710
Nice of someone to notice.
311
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,960
Don't tell
your friends.
312
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,380
Hush tickets.
313
00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:00,210
How deliciously corrupt.
314
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:03,510
You don't disappoint, Raymo.
315
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,140
Ooh, lookee, look.
316
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:08,890
A woman working out
317
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,680
on pioneer-era
exercise equipment.
318
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:14,150
Excuse me.
319
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,060
What's that
medieval-looking
contraption?
320
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:17,480
It's a loom.
321
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,780
I'm making cloth.
322
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:20,650
Have a seat.
323
00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,450
I'll give you
a weaving lesson.
324
00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,320
Mama always said
325
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,530
not to bother
to learn a trade,
326
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:27,410
but I guess one time
won't hurt.
327
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,740
Why is Courtney
stopping here?
328
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,750
Isn't she great?
329
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,000
She'll try anything.
330
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,500
And we've got
this nifty art
to prove it.
331
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,920
Ginger, it's one thing
to drag me through
the pie pavilion,
332
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
but this craft thing?
333
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,260
It's pushing it.
334
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,840
Just a few more
minutes, Darren.
335
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,840
I promise.
336
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,090
Why don't we just
go off by ourselves?
337
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,260
I-I can't.
338
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,600
Wait here a sec, okay?
339
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,770
Fine-- I'll go look
at that furniture.
340
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,480
Got to be more interesting
than a huckleberry pie.
341
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,520
(sighs)
342
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,030
Emergency meeting,
outside.
343
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,450
Dodie.
344
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:08,410
Courtney is ruining
our fair day.
345
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:09,530
What do you mean?
346
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,410
We're doing everything
on the list.
347
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:13,660
Well, she's slowing us down.
348
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:15,710
She has to
try everything,
349
00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:17,120
make comments, gush.
350
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:19,540
You never should have invited
her without consulting us.
351
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,670
Oh, and I suppose
you consulted us
352
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:25,470
when you invited lover man
on the Ferris wheel?
353
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:27,550
The boy
formerly known
as Darren.
354
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,640
Well,
that's different,
and you know it.
355
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,180
Darren's
my boyfriend,
and Courtney's...
356
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:33,180
Well, Courtney.
357
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,640
She doesn't belong here.
358
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,730
Tell that to
a grateful Farmer Don.
359
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:39,480
Um, not to mention
the hippie chick
with the loom.
360
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,820
Look-- Courtney's my friend,
but that doesn't mean
361
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,400
I want to share our
BFF traditions with her.
362
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,320
That's for the three
of us... plus Darren.
363
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,200
Plus Courtney.
364
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:49,780
Ginger,
365
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,620
I've waited
long enough.
366
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,700
I'm going to ride
the Screaming Squid
367
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:54,910
and get some pizza.
368
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:55,700
No... you can't.
369
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:56,790
Excuse me?
370
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:57,710
What I meant was...
371
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,290
She meant,
we don't do rides
372
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,380
until it gets dark,
and pizza is out,
373
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,750
because we eat giant
deep-fried pickles next.
374
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,920
Let me explain
something.
375
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:06,920
(anvil rings)
376
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:07,720
I don't care.
377
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,430
I'm tired
of being dragged
378
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:11,760
all over this place
doing your thing.
379
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,140
I came here to have fun...
380
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,850
with my girlfriend.
381
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,430
Catch you later.
382
00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:19,650
Darren, wait.
383
00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,110
Here we are.
384
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,190
Where'd Darren go?
385
00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:23,730
To the midway.
386
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,610
I'm going
after him.
387
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,240
Tradition's all
messed up anyway.
388
00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,700
It sure is.
389
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,620
Stay behind the ropes
at all times.
390
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,250
No feeding
the animals.
391
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:42,540
CARL:
World's largest mouse,
world's smallest dog,
392
00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:44,500
live, two-headed horse.
393
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:45,750
Gosh, Carl.
394
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,050
That horse looks
kind of small
395
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,430
in that picture.
396
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,390
That's because it's
a miniature horse, you ingrate.
397
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,390
And finish that caramel apple
outside the tent.
398
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:55,970
It keeps
getting better.
399
00:14:56,060 --> 00:15:00,810
The horse is already
a freak of nature
by being miniature,
400
00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:02,350
and it's got two heads.
401
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,150
Being small is nothing
to be ashamed of.
402
00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:07,150
I think they're
a special breed, Carl.
403
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:09,240
I'm just saying,
this horse may be
404
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,530
the singularly most
twisted thing I've ever seen.
405
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:14,330
And dude, I have seen a lot.
406
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,160
No flash
photography.
407
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,540
Go on in.
408
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,750
(people oohing and ahhing)
409
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:27,460
MAN (in background):
Well, that's something
you don't see every day.
410
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,260
(oohing and ahhing)
411
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,640
A capybara
from South America.
412
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,310
I mean, it's a member
of the rodentia family,
413
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:39,770
but they can't pawn it off
414
00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,440
as a common field mouse.
415
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,190
Yeah.
416
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:45,360
Who do they think
they're fooling?
417
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:50,570
Big deal.
418
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,570
You see those
on TV commercials.
419
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,610
We want the real thing.
420
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,120
WOMAN:
Get out of there.
421
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,030
Out of my way.
422
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,120
HOODSEY:
Step back.
423
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,330
CARL:
Coming through.
424
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,700
Look at those people.
425
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,330
They're displaying
the worst of humanity.
426
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,630
Hey, back off,
you horse harassers!
427
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,340
Let's get out of here, Carl.
428
00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:10,300
Maybe some things are best
left to the imagination.
429
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,720
No, Hoods.
430
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,680
Maybe I was once like
this unfeeling mob--
431
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,010
interested only
in the exploitation
432
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,930
of a tiny, two-headed
beast of burden.
433
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,060
But now,
434
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:24,270
now I'm interested
in something else entirely.
435
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:27,690
You mean...?
436
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:29,480
That's right.
437
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:29,980
Liberation!
438
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,240
(horse whinnies)
439
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,490
Yee-ha!
440
00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,160
Carl, you don't even
know how to ride.
441
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,300
Hello, ladies.
442
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,260
Run, boy.
443
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,930
I mean, boys.
444
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,890
Run like the wind!
445
00:16:56,970 --> 00:17:01,430
Ginger, do you
care that your
only sibling
446
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,060
is on what appears
to be a two-headed,
runaway pony?
447
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:05,600
Of course she doesn't,
Macie.
448
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:06,730
She's having
a boyfriend crisis.
449
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,650
Ginger, what was
the fight about?
450
00:17:08,730 --> 00:17:11,320
I-It wasn't
really a fight.
451
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,360
I guess Darren
just got bored.
452
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,070
Bored? Here?
453
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:16,070
I don't understand.
454
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,700
He never really
wanted to come.
455
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:18,780
I talked him into it.
456
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:20,410
I just thought
Darren and I...
457
00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:20,950
Picture T-shirts.
458
00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:23,040
Oh, we have to do this!
459
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,210
...would have
the best day ever.
460
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,580
COURTNEY:
Ginger!
461
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,130
Guys, I don't
really feel
462
00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:31,800
like having my
picture taken.
463
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,300
And we need
to find Darren
464
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:35,300
so someone will stop
being mad at me.
465
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,300
You don't want
to go there, Dodie.
466
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:37,930
Fine-- take
Ginger's side.
467
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,010
COURTNEY:
I should say not.
468
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,890
It's about creating
lasting memories.
469
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,100
Never pass up
an opportunity
470
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,060
to have your
image preserved,
471
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,350
even if it is blurry
472
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,270
and will probably
fade with washing.
473
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,270
Now, remember--
teeth, not gums.
474
00:17:57,650 --> 00:18:00,660
Not how I want
to remember our day.
475
00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:02,120
Again, please.
476
00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:09,170
Come on.
477
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,170
Drink up, boys.
478
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,710
Long journey ahead.
479
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,920
(gasps)
480
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:15,880
No!
481
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,670
I ran you too hard!
482
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,680
Your liberation
was your downfall.
483
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,180
HOODSEY:
Oh, Carl.
484
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,260
Carl, you should
have seen it.
485
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,680
That mean carny dude
was screaming,
486
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,390
and people were all,
"I want my money back!"
487
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,310
And someone let loose
the giant mouse and...
488
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,650
Agh!
489
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:35,190
I'm scarred!
490
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,570
Scarred for life!
491
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,280
I should have left
well enough alone.
492
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,870
Sure these two fine heads
were ridiculed
493
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,200
by fellow horses
and people alike,
494
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,370
but at least
they were together.
495
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:47,250
(sniffling)
496
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:49,920
Uh...
497
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,210
Carl.
498
00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:52,380
That smells funny...
499
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:55,710
like when I used to wash
my toys in the toilet.
500
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,920
Hey.
501
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,840
It's a stuffed animal.
502
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,340
Look at those glass eyes,
that synthetic mane.
503
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,930
So you were in
on this scheme, too?
504
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,180
Boy, were
we suckered!
505
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:12,310
Guess there's no
one true thing
at this place.
506
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,310
Maybe.
507
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,440
Maybe not.
508
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,400
How'd you
find me, anyway?
509
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,360
Duh.
510
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,610
I knew you'd go
for the bunny barn.
511
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:23,160
Hoods, it's like
sometimes you're
my second head.
512
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,780
I know what you mean, brother.
513
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:27,330
(goofy laughter)
514
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:29,750
(bell rings
)
515
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,160
Ooh, I did it,
I did it!
516
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:34,630
And it only
took 50 tries
at a dollar each.
517
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:37,250
I love this game.
518
00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:39,090
We've looked everywhere
for Darren.
519
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,090
COURTNEY:
Stack them up
again, boys.
520
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,550
I still can't believe it.
521
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:45,930
I never expected
Courtney Gripling
to be so into the fair
522
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,140
and Darren to be
so not into it.
523
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,140
I would've guessed
524
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,680
she'd make fun
of everything
525
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:52,060
and make us miserable.
526
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:53,480
I'm so sorry,
Ginger.
527
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,270
I invited her to get back
at you for inviting Darren.
528
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,980
I guess I was just
afraid that you'd
have a better time
529
00:19:59,070 --> 00:19:59,900
at the fair
with your boyfriend
530
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,070
than you ever did with us.
531
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,700
Maybe I wanted
that, Dodie.
532
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:05,740
A little.
533
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,910
I'm sorry, too.
534
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:09,490
Candy apples, anyone?
535
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,460
I think my permanent teeth
are all in.
536
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,130
(laughing)
537
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:21,300
How do you get out
of this thing?
538
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,300
Help!
539
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:23,340
Macie!
540
00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,300
Must get out.
541
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,300
Must get out.
542
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,470
Oh...
543
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,350
You're on your own, girls.
544
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,270
I'm completely unattractive
and disproportionate...
545
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,440
yet I can't look away.
546
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,030
(laughing)
547
00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:48,950
Look at
your hair!
548
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:58,340
GINGER:
Courtney, you've been great.
549
00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:00,380
I can't wait to do
this next year.
550
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,380
Next year?
551
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,010
You plan on coming back?
552
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,340
OTHERS:
Yes.
553
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:05,430
Girls...
554
00:21:05,510 --> 00:21:06,430
Once is an experience.
555
00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:10,890
More than that is, well...
borderline pathetic.
556
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,640
I mean, this is fodder
for the cappuccino card,
557
00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:17,690
but it's a bit coarse
for a Gripling.
558
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:19,730
Here we go.
559
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,820
(laughing)
560
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,150
I'd like to get off now.
561
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,490
You!
562
00:21:25,570 --> 00:21:26,320
Worker man with ponytail.
563
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,740
I insist you stop
this thing at once.
564
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:31,080
GINGER:
It's no use.
565
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:31,790
Just enjoy
the ride.
566
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:36,040
I think I-I'm going to be...
567
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,870
(girls screaming)
568
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,210
(screaming and yelling)
569
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:44,210
MACIE:
Oh, for the love of Mary!
570
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:46,380
(crying)
571
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,060
GINGER:
Darren!
572
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:54,470
Darren!
573
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,350
Hey, Ginger.
574
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,730
Be right down.
575
00:21:59,810 --> 00:22:01,730
Buy me a slice?
576
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,950
GINGER:Even though we all enjoyed the
tractor pull, I'm pretty sure
577
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:11,910
Darren and Courtney were glad
the day was almost over.
578
00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:13,450
And to be honest, so was I.
579
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:18,580
It's exhausting trying to mix
old traditions with new,
580
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,420
old friends with new.
581
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:24,380
But when Darren gave me
the Miracle Man Slicer-Dicer,
582
00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:27,170
which I totally forgot
to buy for Mom,
583
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:30,930
I realized that while it wasn't
the best day ever, Darren was.
584
00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:32,680
And that's what counts.
585
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,140
Hey, check it out.
586
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:38,060
It makes perfect
French fries,
julienne.
587
00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,480
Got a potato?
588
00:22:45,530 --> 00:23:27,940
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
589
00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:29,320
HOODSEY:
I'm scarred!
590
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,440
Scarred for life!
40305
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