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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:09,505 Hello, mate! Hello, Mummy! 2 00:00:09,505 --> 00:00:11,545 Oh, Ollie's going to be so relieved. 3 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,265 Thank you, Mother. 4 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,665 What happened? It was an affair. 5 00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:18,626 You had a lot to chat about, then? 6 00:00:18,626 --> 00:00:20,346 What did I say to you? 7 00:00:20,346 --> 00:00:22,826 You're just going to absolutely drive yourself mad. 8 00:00:22,826 --> 00:00:24,306 Who's that boy? 9 00:00:24,306 --> 00:00:25,546 And that girl... 10 00:00:25,546 --> 00:00:27,546 I would never, ever tell anyone. 11 00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:30,866 I think you're amazing, and I think I'm in love with you. 12 00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:42,707 I'm Sorry by Brenda Lee 13 00:00:45,707 --> 00:00:47,707 That's my coat. 14 00:00:47,707 --> 00:00:49,027 This one? 15 00:00:50,787 --> 00:00:53,027 I love you in this coat. 16 00:00:53,027 --> 00:00:56,027 I'm sorry... 17 00:00:56,027 --> 00:00:57,707 I know you... 18 00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,228 Yeah. 19 00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:01,468 You've got something that belongs to us. 20 00:01:01,468 --> 00:01:05,268 That I was such a fool... 21 00:01:06,348 --> 00:01:07,988 Mm-hm... 22 00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:10,028 I didn't know 23 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,668 Love could be so cruel... 24 00:01:12,668 --> 00:01:13,948 Hmm. 25 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:16,868 Do you know what I fantasise about the most? 26 00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,029 Doing a Sunday big shop with you. 27 00:01:19,029 --> 00:01:20,629 It's always been you. 28 00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:22,909 Come back to mine. We can have a bath together. 29 00:01:22,909 --> 00:01:24,589 I can see what you're doing. 30 00:01:24,589 --> 00:01:25,789 Hello? 31 00:01:25,789 --> 00:01:27,669 Say hello. 32 00:01:27,669 --> 00:01:29,109 Hello. 33 00:01:29,109 --> 00:01:30,629 Security? 34 00:01:33,229 --> 00:01:34,629 My coat. 35 00:01:36,469 --> 00:01:37,789 That's my coat. 36 00:01:38,790 --> 00:01:40,030 Dan. Mm? 37 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:42,030 You seen my coat? Fucking hell... No. 38 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,110 I didn't leave it at the village hall, did I? 39 00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:46,230 What...what you doing? Just go to sleep. 40 00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:48,550 Dan, you must have seen it somewhere. Oh, Nic! 41 00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,150 Oh, my God...! 42 00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:02,751 Fuck's sake...! 43 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:12,711 What's that smell? 44 00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:14,511 Christ! 45 00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:24,472 Mr Meowgi... 46 00:02:28,752 --> 00:02:30,832 Who the fuck are you, then? 47 00:02:43,153 --> 00:02:44,673 What? 48 00:02:44,673 --> 00:02:47,633 It's nice having Mr Meowgi back, though, isn't it? 49 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,113 Yeah. 50 00:02:49,113 --> 00:02:50,953 Really nice having him back. 51 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,393 Happy to have him back? 52 00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:54,313 Uh, Dad? 53 00:02:54,313 --> 00:02:56,793 Mum's being weird. Yeah, well, Mum's always weird. 54 00:02:56,793 --> 00:02:58,673 But you are happy to have him back? 55 00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:00,354 Jesus, Nic, it's nice having him back, 56 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,674 but you're talking about him like he's Nelson Mandela. 57 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:04,794 I mean, have you seen what the little bastard's done 58 00:03:04,794 --> 00:03:05,834 to the back door? 59 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,554 You little bastard! 60 00:03:10,394 --> 00:03:12,114 OK. 61 00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:16,154 Right, I'm off. 62 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,884 All right. What time you back? 63 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:20,235 What are you, time police? Six. 64 00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:22,875 OK, then. Love you. Love you. See you. 65 00:03:26,035 --> 00:03:28,555 OK, seriously, can you actually stop staring now? 66 00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:30,115 It's a bit creepy. 67 00:03:31,315 --> 00:03:34,955 Do you see things in black and white... 68 00:03:34,955 --> 00:03:36,875 ..or do you see things in colour? 69 00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,155 What? 70 00:03:38,156 --> 00:03:40,116 Mummy needs to know, OK? 71 00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:45,276 You're going absolutely insane, OK? 72 00:03:45,276 --> 00:03:47,196 That's my coat. What? 73 00:03:47,196 --> 00:03:48,956 That's my coat. Mum... 74 00:03:48,956 --> 00:03:50,476 Hey! 75 00:03:50,476 --> 00:03:52,996 That IS my coat! 76 00:03:52,996 --> 00:03:55,716 Mum! Oi, stop! That's my coat! 77 00:03:57,517 --> 00:03:59,917 Mum? Mum! 78 00:03:59,917 --> 00:04:01,957 Hey! Mum, what are you doing? 79 00:04:03,037 --> 00:04:06,677 Mum! Come back, you coat-stealing bastard! 80 00:04:06,677 --> 00:04:08,957 Mum... Mum, what you doing? 81 00:04:10,757 --> 00:04:12,677 Speak to me. 82 00:04:12,677 --> 00:04:14,397 Just go in. 83 00:04:14,397 --> 00:04:16,637 And don't kill anyone. 84 00:04:16,637 --> 00:04:18,837 Well, I think it'll be fun, you'll enjoy it. 85 00:04:18,838 --> 00:04:21,678 I'm really not sure how I feel about you signing me up 86 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:22,918 without my permission. 87 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:43,439 Opa! 88 00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:48,319 Good luck! 89 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,760 Oi, babes. 90 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,160 You'll never guess what. 91 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,440 This bozo's signed us up for the mums netball team. 92 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,440 I knew it was you. Have you got one glove on? 93 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,840 Why have you got my coat on? You look like Michael Jackson! 94 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,320 The coat went missing from my house. Hey... Then I turn up here 95 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,520 and you're wearing my coat. No, no... Ladies. Ladies? 96 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,720 I bought this coat cos I saw Michelle Keegan wearing it 97 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,040 in Heat magazine. I cannot believe you've done this to me. 98 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,240 Well, you should believe... It's my coat. Ladies, ladies... 99 00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:20,841 I want my coat back. Oh, my God. Nic, calm down. 100 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,041 Give me my coat back. 101 00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:26,081 Hey. I want my coat back! It's not your coat! 102 00:05:26,081 --> 00:05:28,441 Let me look in the pocket, then! Nic, Nic, Nic. 103 00:05:28,441 --> 00:05:29,641 You cannot behave like this. 104 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:31,121 Bitch! Come on. 105 00:05:32,441 --> 00:05:33,881 What..? Get off me! 106 00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:36,121 Are you all right? Did she hurt you? No, no... 107 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,082 Goodness... 108 00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:28,404 Stop all the clocks 109 00:06:28,404 --> 00:06:31,484 Cut off the telephone 110 00:06:31,484 --> 00:06:35,004 Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone... 111 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,254 I can't remember the rest, so... 112 00:06:40,245 --> 00:06:42,325 The sentiment's there. 113 00:06:42,325 --> 00:06:45,925 You were a great cat 114 00:06:45,925 --> 00:06:48,565 You sat on the mat 115 00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:54,005 It's a shame you never... 116 00:06:54,005 --> 00:06:55,725 ..wore a hat? 117 00:06:57,165 --> 00:06:58,805 Amen. I mean... 118 00:07:25,687 --> 00:07:26,927 Fuck! 119 00:07:30,047 --> 00:07:32,047 Fuck...! Shit! 120 00:07:32,047 --> 00:07:33,607 Morning. 121 00:07:34,927 --> 00:07:36,607 Oh, hi, Malcolm. 122 00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:41,888 I think there's a package for you at ours. 123 00:07:41,888 --> 00:07:44,608 I don't know. If I took a guess, it's probably... 124 00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:46,648 ..reams of printer paper. Oh. 125 00:07:54,488 --> 00:07:57,408 I'm not picking up to, you psycho. Why are you ringing me? 126 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,729 Hey! 127 00:08:04,729 --> 00:08:06,329 Oh. Hi! 128 00:08:07,409 --> 00:08:08,809 What the fuck? 129 00:08:08,809 --> 00:08:11,369 Sorry. I was knocking for a while, but didn't get an answer. 130 00:08:11,369 --> 00:08:12,969 Ooh! You having a bonfire? 131 00:08:12,969 --> 00:08:14,569 I'm burning the cat. 132 00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:21,690 OK. Well, I-I didn't want to intrude. 133 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,570 I just had to make sure you were OK. 134 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,130 Yeah, I'm fine. 135 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,650 Really? Yeah. 136 00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:28,690 So, what happened at school earlier with Jen... 137 00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,530 Yeah, I lost my temper. I know. No, no, no, no. 138 00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:32,210 We all do sometimes. 139 00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:36,930 Look, for what it's worth... 140 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,890 ..I think you were totally justified. 141 00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:41,971 Really? Yeah. 142 00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,491 I mean, I don't know the details. 143 00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,811 I don't know her as well as you do, but... 144 00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,371 Ooh. Erm... What? 145 00:08:49,371 --> 00:08:51,011 Oh, I don't want to be unkind to her. 146 00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:53,171 You are going to be unkind, cos you just said, 147 00:08:53,171 --> 00:08:55,731 "I don't want to be unkind," which means that you're going 148 00:08:55,731 --> 00:08:58,171 to be unkind, so just be unkind. What were you going to say? 149 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:01,531 OK, the thing is, Nic, I just get this innate feeling... 150 00:09:01,532 --> 00:09:02,652 Yes? 151 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:04,132 ..that she's a massive slag. 152 00:09:06,492 --> 00:09:10,452 Wow... And the way she behaves around Mr Graham, I just... 153 00:09:10,452 --> 00:09:12,332 I'm not convinced that she's a woman's woman. 154 00:09:12,332 --> 00:09:13,972 Do you know what I mean? 155 00:09:13,972 --> 00:09:16,692 Uh, appreciate you coming over and, you know.... 156 00:09:16,692 --> 00:09:18,412 Yeah, OK. Well, uh... 157 00:09:18,412 --> 00:09:21,172 Oh, yes. Whilst I remember, erm... 158 00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:23,573 ..Alex's memorial's coming up, isn't it? 159 00:09:23,573 --> 00:09:26,093 Yeah. I know how incredibly difficult these things can be. 160 00:09:26,093 --> 00:09:28,413 So, if you need me to make a quiche, I... 161 00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:30,133 No. No-one likes quiche. 162 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,413 No? No. 163 00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:33,653 Not even people that frequent National Trust cafes. 164 00:09:33,653 --> 00:09:35,693 I don't... This is mad. 165 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,053 No. 166 00:09:37,053 --> 00:09:38,333 OK. 167 00:09:40,254 --> 00:09:44,534 Actually, while I've got you, can I just ask for one more tiny thing? 168 00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:47,734 I have now signed up to an open mic night in London 169 00:09:47,734 --> 00:09:50,254 to try out a bit of stand-up comedy. 170 00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:54,054 So, if I've got a bit of a supportive audience around, 171 00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:57,094 maybe I could try out a bit of my routine at the memorial 172 00:09:57,094 --> 00:09:58,734 and add some light relief? 173 00:09:58,734 --> 00:10:00,064 Are you joking? 174 00:10:00,055 --> 00:10:03,175 Well, it's up to you to decide what's appropriate for your family. 175 00:10:03,175 --> 00:10:05,575 I... I will get off, though. 176 00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:07,135 All right. 177 00:10:10,055 --> 00:10:13,615 Do you know, actually, physical comedy is my strength, 178 00:10:13,615 --> 00:10:16,135 so, erm... 179 00:10:16,135 --> 00:10:17,615 Beep! 180 00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:28,216 That was a lift. 181 00:10:28,216 --> 00:10:29,856 Go! 182 00:10:29,856 --> 00:10:31,216 Thank you. 183 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,856 Jesus wept. 184 00:10:42,857 --> 00:10:44,257 Oh, oh! 185 00:10:44,257 --> 00:10:45,817 Oh, my God! Jesus Christ! 186 00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:48,337 I'm so sorry. I haven't seen anything. 187 00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:50,257 It's OK, Viv. Can you just...? I'm sorry again. 188 00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:51,977 Can you just...? Yeah, leave. 189 00:10:51,977 --> 00:10:53,577 I don't why I'm standing here... 190 00:10:53,577 --> 00:10:55,977 Can you go, please?! I am. I'm leaving now, I'm leaving now. 191 00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:58,177 Bye! Yep. Oh... 192 00:10:58,177 --> 00:10:59,817 Jesus Christ! 193 00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:04,058 Viv, are you still here? 194 00:11:04,058 --> 00:11:05,778 Yeah, I'm still here. 195 00:11:05,778 --> 00:11:07,578 Viv, thank you. 196 00:11:07,578 --> 00:11:09,218 It's immaculate. 197 00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:11,258 It's all right. You don't have to thank me. 198 00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:13,858 Oh, even bleached the sink, as well. 199 00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:16,098 Yep. Oh, God! 200 00:11:16,098 --> 00:11:21,698 Oh. And I finally found the remote for the surround sound. 201 00:11:21,699 --> 00:11:24,699 Oh, brilliant. Thank you, Viv. Guess where it was? 202 00:11:24,699 --> 00:11:26,379 No idea. 203 00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:28,019 It was... Guess. 204 00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:29,659 Oh. Uh... 205 00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:31,859 Somewhere obvious. Behind the sofa? 206 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,099 No. 207 00:11:33,099 --> 00:11:35,579 By the TV? No. 208 00:11:35,579 --> 00:11:37,059 Guess again? Yeah. 209 00:11:37,059 --> 00:11:39,499 I don't know. Up my arse? No. 210 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,979 In a shoe. 211 00:11:40,980 --> 00:11:43,460 That is mad. 212 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,820 Yeah, mental. 213 00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:48,300 Oh, and also, I got your... 214 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,860 ..coat at the dry cleaners. 215 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:52,140 I think they've done a really good job at getting rid 216 00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:55,380 of the negative energy. I'm sure it was haunted. 217 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,540 Oh, no... Mm, yeah. 218 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,420 Oh, no...! 219 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,061 Fuck's sake...! 220 00:12:04,461 --> 00:12:06,341 Oh... 221 00:12:06,341 --> 00:12:08,381 I'm such a twat...! 222 00:12:08,381 --> 00:12:10,741 Oh, Nic. Is it still there? 223 00:12:10,741 --> 00:12:13,061 I'm... Listen. 224 00:12:13,061 --> 00:12:16,261 Just stop it, OK? 225 00:12:16,261 --> 00:12:18,701 Stop it now! 226 00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:21,221 Just cross over, all right? 227 00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:23,262 Because we do not want you here. 228 00:12:25,742 --> 00:12:27,382 Who are you talking to? 229 00:12:27,382 --> 00:12:28,862 Oh... 230 00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:32,942 Well, he was a Roman, but now he's just an arsehole! 231 00:12:32,942 --> 00:12:34,542 OK. 232 00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:36,942 Yeah. I need to find Jen. Oh, Nic... 233 00:12:36,942 --> 00:12:39,702 Uh, Nic, also, can I have cash today? 234 00:12:39,702 --> 00:12:43,942 Why? Well, just cos, you know, the cheques, they're all... 235 00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:45,903 You don't want to pay tax? 236 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:47,423 Not really, no. 237 00:12:47,423 --> 00:12:49,383 OK. Fine. I mean... 238 00:12:49,383 --> 00:12:50,543 Who does? 239 00:12:52,223 --> 00:12:53,783 Oh... 240 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:56,183 Is, erm, Jen still here? 241 00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:57,823 "Oh, sorry I'm late, Ollie." 242 00:12:57,823 --> 00:12:59,143 Oh. Sorry I'm late, Ollie. 243 00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:01,663 Has she already picked up Harry? She picked him up ages ago. 244 00:13:01,664 --> 00:13:03,504 Oh, God, that's so annoying...! 245 00:13:03,504 --> 00:13:05,184 I just wanted to talk to her. 246 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,024 Come on. You and I need to have a chat. 247 00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:09,504 Uh, Denholm keeps asking if he can come round. 248 00:13:09,504 --> 00:13:11,904 I don't want him to, and I don't know what to say. 249 00:13:11,904 --> 00:13:14,344 Well, just say that the asbestos is growing back. 250 00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:16,424 Asbestos. Quickly, though. 251 00:13:16,424 --> 00:13:17,864 Yes, Mum. 252 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,624 Oh, my... 253 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,274 Nic. Hi. 254 00:13:21,265 --> 00:13:24,105 Lucy, please. I just can't deal with you right now. 255 00:13:24,105 --> 00:13:26,185 I want to get my norks done. 256 00:13:26,185 --> 00:13:28,145 I'm sorry, what...? What? 257 00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:29,785 My yabbos, my honkers. 258 00:13:29,785 --> 00:13:32,105 Cos men like big hooters, don't they? 259 00:13:32,105 --> 00:13:33,625 Well, David does, anyway. 260 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:36,025 I just...! I don't have time for this! 261 00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:37,985 I'm trying these out, OK? 262 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,865 What have you stuffed those with? Careful. Wait, wait, wait. 263 00:13:40,866 --> 00:13:42,666 Look, look. Just have a look. 264 00:13:42,666 --> 00:13:45,026 This is a bath bomb. Oh, my God. 265 00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:48,666 And that is a magic eight ball that I won at a raffle. 266 00:13:50,026 --> 00:13:51,826 Yeah? Hmm? 267 00:13:51,826 --> 00:13:53,706 Just be honest, tell me what do you think. 268 00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:55,986 Do you really want to know what I think? Go on. 269 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:58,746 I think they're both too low. Right... 270 00:13:58,746 --> 00:14:01,026 I think you're a bit nuts. 271 00:14:01,027 --> 00:14:03,627 And I also think you need to start loving yourself more, 272 00:14:03,627 --> 00:14:07,307 cos this vibe is strong. I mean... 273 00:14:08,627 --> 00:14:10,187 OK, yeah. 274 00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:11,907 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 275 00:14:11,907 --> 00:14:13,547 I've been struggling a bit. 276 00:14:13,547 --> 00:14:16,307 Erm, OK. So, you're saying just stick with the comedy, 277 00:14:16,307 --> 00:14:19,067 don't worry about any physical changes for now? 278 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,347 Do I have to choose between those two? 279 00:14:22,348 --> 00:14:23,668 Comedy, then. 280 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,748 Right, come on, quickly. 281 00:14:28,028 --> 00:14:29,988 Uh-uh. Do not look at Lucy, please. 282 00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:31,148 Whoa... 283 00:14:31,148 --> 00:14:33,748 Come on. Out! 284 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,308 Did you just look at them again?! 285 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,788 I'm not. I'm not! I swear. 286 00:14:45,109 --> 00:14:47,229 I found Mr Meowgi. 287 00:14:47,229 --> 00:14:49,629 Yeah, I know. 288 00:14:49,629 --> 00:14:51,349 Won't stop going on about it. 289 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,589 No. 290 00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:55,269 I mean, I found Mr Meowgi in the wardrobe, mate. 291 00:15:01,630 --> 00:15:04,590 So, I know that you know what I mean 292 00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:08,590 when I say I found Mr Meowgi. 293 00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,830 So you better start talking. 294 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,350 I found him in the tumble dryer. 295 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,230 What? What, when? 296 00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:22,710 Uh... 297 00:15:22,711 --> 00:15:25,031 Like, Sunday morning. 298 00:15:25,031 --> 00:15:27,231 Oh, my gosh... 299 00:15:27,231 --> 00:15:29,471 I think...I think he'd fallen asleep in there. 300 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,111 Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. 301 00:15:32,111 --> 00:15:35,751 Someone must have shut the door on him. Oh, my gosh. 302 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:38,951 You have to talk to me about these things. 303 00:15:38,951 --> 00:15:41,511 You can't hide stuff like that. 304 00:15:41,512 --> 00:15:44,512 I didn't want to tell you cos...I know how much you like him. 305 00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:46,712 Oh... Oh, my God. 306 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,192 God! 307 00:15:49,192 --> 00:15:52,272 Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. 308 00:15:53,992 --> 00:15:56,152 I mean... 309 00:15:56,152 --> 00:15:59,152 ..being truthful, he was a bit of a shit cat. 310 00:15:59,152 --> 00:16:00,672 Yeah. 311 00:16:00,672 --> 00:16:03,312 Yeah, he was a shit cat. 312 00:16:03,313 --> 00:16:06,993 You quite liked saying the word "shit", then, don't you? 313 00:16:06,993 --> 00:16:09,673 Mm? Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, you did. 314 00:16:09,673 --> 00:16:12,233 I mean, don't make a habit of it, right? No. 315 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:14,193 We have we got for dinner tonight, Mum? 316 00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:18,273 Just hungry. I want my chicken nuggets. 317 00:16:18,273 --> 00:16:20,913 Have you just manipulated the death of Mr Meowgi 318 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,433 into you getting a McDonald's? 319 00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:24,514 Manipulate's a strong word... Oh, my gosh. 320 00:16:24,514 --> 00:16:26,154 I mean, clever. 321 00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:28,794 That's actually quite a good tool to have if you, you know, 322 00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:30,874 want to go into sales or start a cult. 323 00:16:30,874 --> 00:16:32,914 So, can we? Yes, we can. Yep, yep. 324 00:16:32,914 --> 00:16:34,434 Christ almighty. 325 00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,234 You're just like me, and that scares me. 326 00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:38,794 Yeah, me too. 327 00:16:38,794 --> 00:16:41,884 You know what, when Dad gets home, let's do something to cheer you up. 328 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,875 Think of something fun, your choice. All right. 329 00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:49,955 It's nice just doing this with you. 330 00:16:51,955 --> 00:16:53,835 I feel ridiculous. And cold. 331 00:16:53,835 --> 00:16:55,795 I must look stupid. You look great. 332 00:16:55,795 --> 00:16:57,715 I sort of fancy you a bit in that. 333 00:16:57,715 --> 00:16:59,115 Do you? Yeah. 334 00:16:59,115 --> 00:17:00,955 Right, get in position. All right. 335 00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:03,315 Yeah, hang on a second. We're just doing checks. 336 00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,556 Are you all right? No, cos... 337 00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:09,196 These tights are cutting off the circulation to my dick and balls. 338 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,036 Oh, God. Let's have a look. Well, careful, cos your hands are cold. 339 00:17:12,036 --> 00:17:13,716 I...! No... 340 00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,356 Well, no, no. Don't... Yes, I'm trying! 341 00:17:15,356 --> 00:17:17,596 Yeah, but I don't want it out. Well, just rip a hole in them. 342 00:17:17,596 --> 00:17:19,396 I don't want to, cos I want to keep it all tucked in 343 00:17:19,396 --> 00:17:21,196 cos I want to be method. Oh, for God's sake. Dad? 344 00:17:21,196 --> 00:17:23,556 I'm taking this serious. We're losing light! One minute, mate. 345 00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:25,757 Well, I don't get what I'm supposed to be. What are we doing? 346 00:17:25,757 --> 00:17:28,117 Well, we're just... You know, he's had a bit of a shock. 347 00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:30,757 Mr Meowgi scratched the shit out of him, and we're just trying 348 00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:31,957 to distract him. I need... 349 00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:33,717 What are you doing with your fingers? 350 00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:35,837 It's called being a director, Dad. Oh, right. 351 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,517 Did she call, by the way? 352 00:17:37,517 --> 00:17:38,997 Who, Jen? 353 00:17:38,997 --> 00:17:41,757 No. My mum about the memorial catering. 354 00:17:41,757 --> 00:17:43,437 Jen. You're obsessed. 355 00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,878 I told you I owe her a massive apology, and I haven't done it yet. 356 00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:50,078 I don't understand what your problem is with her. 357 00:17:50,078 --> 00:17:52,278 She's got...she's got a weird energy. She's got... 358 00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:53,958 It give me the heebie jeebies. 359 00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:56,678 Her hair looks like she's constantly wearing a helmet, as well. 360 00:17:56,678 --> 00:17:59,038 She looks like Lord Farquaad. Unbelievable. 361 00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:02,038 So, right, this has to be like a real ghost... 362 00:18:02,038 --> 00:18:04,518 You're all askwiff. ..so I get loads of hits. 363 00:18:04,519 --> 00:18:06,399 She fancies you. No, she doesn't! I can tell. 364 00:18:06,399 --> 00:18:08,799 I'm a bloke, I can tell these things. I know when a woman... 365 00:18:08,799 --> 00:18:11,199 Oh, my God! That is such a typical bloke. 366 00:18:11,199 --> 00:18:13,719 Jen's been bloody good to me. But because two women 367 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:16,119 enjoy each other's company... What are you talking about? 368 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,879 ..you immediately assume that we're diving on each other's muffs. 369 00:18:18,879 --> 00:18:21,159 I'm sorry, but Kubrick did not have to put up with this. 370 00:18:21,159 --> 00:18:22,919 Well, she's not into blokes, I know that. 371 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,640 And if she is into blokes, it's just cos she wants to get to the wife, 372 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,080 and the wife's titties and fanny. 373 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,200 Oh, God. That does remind me... This is ridiculous. 374 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,680 ..I do have to shave my fanny. Yeah, you... I'm sorry about it. 375 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,160 It's just been a very long winter. 376 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,720 You're like Leo Sayer down there. All right. Oh, my God! 377 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,560 Why do you think I've not been visiting? 378 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,880 Right. 379 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,400 Behind the stone, yeah? Yeah. 380 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,880 Oh, by the way, have you called Suze about the memorial invites? 381 00:18:44,881 --> 00:18:47,081 No, I've been a bit busy, so I will call Suze. 382 00:18:47,081 --> 00:18:49,361 Well, call her. I will. Do, though. You won't. 383 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,081 Just do it. I will. I'll call her. 384 00:18:51,081 --> 00:18:52,841 OK, and turning. 385 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,601 Ready? 386 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,361 Action! 387 00:18:56,361 --> 00:18:57,681 What? 388 00:18:57,681 --> 00:18:59,401 Up. Now you're meant to get up. 389 00:18:59,401 --> 00:19:02,201 How long's this going to take, mate? Uh... 390 00:19:02,201 --> 00:19:04,361 No more than one or two hours, I would've thought. 391 00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:06,642 Actually, can we just, like, release the balls, then? 392 00:19:06,642 --> 00:19:09,042 Cos it... Oh, fine. Release the balls! 393 00:19:09,042 --> 00:19:11,482 Release the balls. I did say. 394 00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:22,682 This is fun. 395 00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:32,403 One word. Yeah. 396 00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:33,763 OK? 397 00:19:33,763 --> 00:19:34,923 Chin. 398 00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:38,003 What, is it a film, book? 399 00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:39,763 Nanny. Nanny? 400 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,323 Oh, what, your nan? 401 00:19:41,323 --> 00:19:43,043 What are you doing? Mary Poppins. 402 00:19:43,044 --> 00:19:45,204 You all right, Mum? She's having a turn. 403 00:19:45,204 --> 00:19:46,564 Erm... Oh, what is...? 404 00:19:46,564 --> 00:19:48,004 Are you actually playing the game? 405 00:19:48,004 --> 00:19:50,204 Or are you trying to genuinely tell us something? 406 00:19:50,204 --> 00:19:51,764 What are you doing? What is that? 407 00:19:51,764 --> 00:19:53,564 Uh, what other films...? I can't... 408 00:19:53,564 --> 00:19:55,564 Shrek...! How is that Shrek? 409 00:19:55,564 --> 00:19:58,204 Why aren't you getting that? That didn't even look like Shrek. 410 00:19:58,204 --> 00:20:00,084 It's not my fault she's bad at acting. 411 00:20:08,445 --> 00:20:10,045 I thought you liked Shrek. 412 00:20:11,165 --> 00:20:13,285 I thought it was just Mum, to be honest. 413 00:20:13,285 --> 00:20:15,765 I'm, uh...just going to pop out and get some wine, 414 00:20:15,765 --> 00:20:17,605 and see if Jen's in. 415 00:20:17,605 --> 00:20:19,325 Really? Want anything? 416 00:20:19,325 --> 00:20:21,365 Uh, wine. Wine's good, yeah. 417 00:20:21,365 --> 00:20:24,045 You don't have to apologise to her, you know? 418 00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:53,847 Listen, Lauren, I was a bad way because I'd just come back from 419 00:20:53,847 --> 00:20:55,407 football, and I was jet-lagged. 420 00:20:55,407 --> 00:20:58,327 Then Darren said that Dean that the only reason Dean came to see me 421 00:20:58,327 --> 00:21:00,927 is cos Dad's got BT Sport at our house. 422 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,087 Why doesn't he just get a Fire Stick? 423 00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,687 They're only, like, 20 quid. 424 00:21:04,688 --> 00:21:07,528 You owe me £1.15 for those Dunkers, Lauren. What?! 425 00:21:07,528 --> 00:21:09,408 But I don't have £1.15! 426 00:21:09,408 --> 00:21:11,488 That's not my problem, Lauren. 427 00:21:11,488 --> 00:21:12,648 Right. 428 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,248 Find your cat yet? 429 00:21:15,248 --> 00:21:17,608 Oh, yeah. You can take that poster down. 430 00:21:17,608 --> 00:21:19,208 Know what, I... Can I...? 431 00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:20,928 I shouldn't have to fucking stand for this. 432 00:21:20,928 --> 00:21:23,128 Did Darren say whether Dean said anything last night? 433 00:21:23,128 --> 00:21:24,728 About what? 434 00:21:24,729 --> 00:21:25,929 Hello? About me. 435 00:21:25,929 --> 00:21:27,489 Well, I don't know. Ahem! 436 00:21:27,489 --> 00:21:30,009 Well, can you message Darren and ask? OK. 437 00:21:30,009 --> 00:21:31,929 Hello! 438 00:21:33,689 --> 00:21:35,809 Hello? 439 00:21:35,809 --> 00:21:38,169 What are you saying? Just asking him if Dean said anything 440 00:21:38,169 --> 00:21:39,649 about you last night. Hello! 441 00:21:39,649 --> 00:21:41,969 No, don't say it like that. Can I just pay for these? 442 00:21:41,969 --> 00:21:44,569 Say, like, "How was Dean last night?" OK. 443 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,210 Oh, my God. 444 00:21:46,210 --> 00:21:47,730 Ahem! 445 00:21:47,730 --> 00:21:49,890 Sorry, I've just got some wine and vodka, and then... 446 00:21:49,890 --> 00:21:52,730 What did you say? "How was Dean last night?" 447 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:54,530 No, nothing. 448 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,890 Oh...! 449 00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:57,130 What did he say? 450 00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:58,890 He said he wasn't with Dean last night. 451 00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:00,930 Ahem. Sorry. Hello? Has he been on Instagram? 452 00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:02,570 Can I get a bag for these, please? 453 00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:03,970 He was active 13 minutes ago. 454 00:22:03,971 --> 00:22:05,211 Has he posted anything new? 455 00:22:05,211 --> 00:22:07,491 Not since he shared the Ladbible video... What's the point? 456 00:22:07,491 --> 00:22:09,851 ..the man who put the firework rocket between his arse cheeks. 457 00:22:09,851 --> 00:22:11,971 Who's liked it? Everyone. Just putting them in. 458 00:22:11,971 --> 00:22:14,291 Just stealing things, by the way. Trevor. Who else? 459 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,811 Rob. Who else? I'm not even going to bother paying for them. 460 00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:18,891 Who else? Trina Johnson. 461 00:22:18,891 --> 00:22:20,291 Christ. 462 00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:22,651 Wait, no, that's OK. That's his mum. Who else? 463 00:22:22,651 --> 00:22:24,291 Sarah. Sarah. 464 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:26,612 Uh, Dean's definitely shagging Sarah. 465 00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:28,612 Fucking Sarah. 466 00:22:28,612 --> 00:22:31,212 And your shop's on fire! 467 00:22:31,212 --> 00:22:33,572 No, you know what, like... 468 00:22:33,572 --> 00:22:37,532 Just take a photo of me, like, as if I'm having a good time, OK? 469 00:22:37,532 --> 00:22:39,012 OK. Just... 470 00:22:40,372 --> 00:22:42,372 Smile, Kelly. 471 00:22:47,053 --> 00:22:50,973 Jen, I know I've been a massive wanker... 472 00:22:50,973 --> 00:22:52,773 I've brought some vodka... 473 00:22:55,493 --> 00:22:57,813 Jen, I'm sorry. I've been a massive wanker... 474 00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,973 Was that a hawk? 475 00:23:07,534 --> 00:23:09,934 Jen? 476 00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:12,134 Jesus Christ. 477 00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:14,974 Jen, are you all right? 478 00:23:16,654 --> 00:23:18,094 Hi, can we come in? 479 00:23:18,094 --> 00:23:20,694 Nic's not in. That's all right, we can wait for Nic. That's fine. 480 00:23:20,694 --> 00:23:22,694 Hi, Jen. Hi, Ollie. Hi, Harry, you all right? 481 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:24,984 Do you want to play with Harry upstairs? Yeah? 482 00:23:24,975 --> 00:23:27,855 Dan, why don't you take the kids up and I'll wait down here? 483 00:23:27,855 --> 00:23:29,175 I know my way around. 484 00:23:32,335 --> 00:23:33,855 Jen? 485 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:38,695 Uh, I know I've been a massive wanker, 486 00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:43,615 but I got some vodka from the shop and a Take A Break magazine, 487 00:23:43,615 --> 00:23:48,655 cos it's got a story in there about a half man-half prawn. 488 00:23:48,656 --> 00:23:50,896 Oh, fuck! 489 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,136 Oh... 490 00:23:52,136 --> 00:23:53,936 I'm so sorry. 491 00:23:55,376 --> 00:23:57,016 Yeah. 492 00:23:58,016 --> 00:24:00,856 What the fuck is going on...? 493 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:02,296 Silly old bit... 494 00:24:02,296 --> 00:24:04,336 Oh! God! 495 00:24:04,336 --> 00:24:06,136 My goodness! 496 00:24:06,137 --> 00:24:07,977 You must be Jen's mum. 497 00:24:07,977 --> 00:24:10,217 Who? Jen who lives here. 498 00:24:10,217 --> 00:24:12,497 No. I live here, 499 00:24:12,497 --> 00:24:14,737 and I have done for 38 years. 500 00:24:14,737 --> 00:24:17,177 Ever since our big move from Barnstable. 501 00:24:17,177 --> 00:24:21,097 I'm sorry, I... Derek changed jobs, I'd just had Alice. 502 00:24:21,097 --> 00:24:22,897 Could I just stop you here? I-I... 503 00:24:22,897 --> 00:24:25,697 Jen, I've seen... She lives... I've seen her here. 504 00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:27,418 Who's Jen? 505 00:24:27,418 --> 00:24:29,738 Erm... Jen? This is Jen. 506 00:24:29,738 --> 00:24:31,738 That's not Jen. 507 00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:33,378 That's Katya! 508 00:24:33,378 --> 00:24:34,618 Oh... 509 00:24:34,618 --> 00:24:38,578 She is an absolute fruitcake. 510 00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:43,258 And by the looks of things, I can safely assume you are too. 511 00:24:43,258 --> 00:24:46,218 Half prawn, did you say? 512 00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:48,019 I'll have that. 513 00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:49,619 The fuck? 514 00:24:49,619 --> 00:24:51,299 Who's Katya? 515 00:24:55,139 --> 00:24:57,619 Thought you looked like you could use a drink. 516 00:24:59,099 --> 00:25:02,419 I don't know if Nic likes red wine, but I know you do. 517 00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:03,699 Ha. 518 00:25:03,699 --> 00:25:06,739 It's not funny, Dan. I know it's not funny. 519 00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:12,220 Erm... Look, I want to talk to you about Nic. 520 00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:16,420 She was really upset at school earlier, and I don't know what's 521 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:19,300 going on with that, and I've tried calling and I tried texting, 522 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,900 and she's not answering me. 523 00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,620 So, I want to know what's going on. 524 00:25:23,620 --> 00:25:27,900 Do you know what's wrong with her? She annoyed at me, or something? 525 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,181 Yes. 526 00:25:31,741 --> 00:25:33,701 OK. 527 00:25:33,701 --> 00:25:36,061 And why... Why would that be? 528 00:25:36,061 --> 00:25:38,061 Do you know why? 529 00:25:38,061 --> 00:25:40,901 Well, I mean, yeah. We've spoken. 530 00:25:45,102 --> 00:25:47,062 What have you said? 531 00:25:47,062 --> 00:25:48,102 Uh... 532 00:25:50,222 --> 00:25:52,502 That's between me and my wife, innit? No, tell me. 533 00:25:52,502 --> 00:25:55,142 Tell me what you said. 534 00:25:55,142 --> 00:25:57,822 I mean, is this really the way you want to play it, Dan? 535 00:26:00,862 --> 00:26:04,142 All they had was that prosecco that tastes like fizzy piss. Just... 536 00:26:04,142 --> 00:26:08,062 But I'll drink... Nic, there's someone here to see you. 537 00:26:08,063 --> 00:26:10,703 Please don't refer to your knob in the third person, Dan. 538 00:26:10,703 --> 00:26:12,423 It's vile. 539 00:26:14,143 --> 00:26:15,463 Hi. 540 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,623 What are you doing here? 541 00:26:21,743 --> 00:26:24,023 I felt really shit about earlier, 542 00:26:24,023 --> 00:26:28,583 and I don't want to fall out with you over a coat, Nic. 543 00:26:28,584 --> 00:26:32,544 Seems silly. Hey, are you OK? Is everything all right, Nic? 544 00:26:32,544 --> 00:26:35,544 Yeah. Can you just give us a minute, Dan? 545 00:26:35,544 --> 00:26:38,144 Yeah. 546 00:26:38,144 --> 00:26:41,024 OK. Shall I go upstairs with the boys and play VR? 547 00:26:41,024 --> 00:26:42,584 Sure. 548 00:26:42,584 --> 00:26:45,754 Too much raging oestrogen down here... Read the room, Dan. 549 00:26:45,745 --> 00:26:47,865 Yeah. 550 00:26:47,865 --> 00:26:49,745 Look, I didn't take it. 551 00:26:49,745 --> 00:26:52,185 I've bought the receipt round, if you want to see. 552 00:26:52,185 --> 00:26:55,745 I went to your house earlier, and not only were you not there, 553 00:26:55,745 --> 00:26:57,905 you don't even live there, do you? 554 00:26:57,905 --> 00:26:59,105 What? 555 00:26:59,105 --> 00:27:02,385 Well, regardless of how mad all this is, yeah? 556 00:27:02,385 --> 00:27:05,105 Cos this is mental! 557 00:27:05,105 --> 00:27:07,345 Who is Katya? I don't... I don't know what you're... 558 00:27:07,346 --> 00:27:09,626 Who's Katya? Just answer me that. 559 00:27:09,626 --> 00:27:12,066 I-I can't... Who the fuck are you, Jen? 560 00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:13,706 Or should I even call you Jen? 561 00:27:13,706 --> 00:27:16,346 I don't know why you're doing this... Do you know what, I'm upset 562 00:27:16,346 --> 00:27:19,266 because I actually consider you one of my close friends. 563 00:27:19,266 --> 00:27:20,866 I know I don't have many friends. 564 00:27:20,866 --> 00:27:23,226 But you have come into my inner circle, yeah? 565 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,706 And I've told you shit that I've never told anyone else. 566 00:27:25,707 --> 00:27:27,787 And I know fuck all about you... That's... 567 00:27:27,787 --> 00:27:29,867 ..other than the fact that you hate Kings Of Leon. 568 00:27:29,867 --> 00:27:31,107 I do hate Kings Of Leon. 569 00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:32,987 Who are you?! 570 00:27:32,987 --> 00:27:34,987 Do you know what, I went round to your house 571 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,627 to fucking apologise to you. 572 00:27:36,627 --> 00:27:38,547 Is that...? 573 00:27:38,547 --> 00:27:40,027 Sorry, is that your phone ringing? 574 00:27:40,027 --> 00:27:41,747 Yeah. 575 00:27:41,747 --> 00:27:44,427 Is that Blazin' Squad? 576 00:27:44,427 --> 00:27:45,787 Yeah. 577 00:27:45,788 --> 00:27:48,108 Is that Love On The Line by Blazin' Squad? Yeah. 578 00:27:48,108 --> 00:27:50,628 You're not going to answer that. I have to. 579 00:27:50,628 --> 00:27:52,588 Hello? Oh, my God! 580 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,068 OK. 581 00:27:54,068 --> 00:27:57,188 Are you kidding me? OK. Yeah? 582 00:27:57,188 --> 00:28:00,028 OK, I'm going to leave now. I'm on my way, OK? 583 00:28:00,028 --> 00:28:01,468 I, erm... 584 00:28:01,468 --> 00:28:03,988 I need you to look after Harry for me for a couple of hours. 585 00:28:03,988 --> 00:28:05,588 Are you kidding? I'll be... 586 00:28:05,588 --> 00:28:07,668 You're not going. I'll be as quick as I can... 587 00:28:07,669 --> 00:28:09,629 Jen! Where are you going? Are you still there? 588 00:28:09,629 --> 00:28:11,949 Jen! Just stay on the phone, OK? Just stay on the phone. 589 00:28:11,949 --> 00:28:14,829 I'll be as quick as I can, OK? Jen! Jen! Just stay where you are, OK? 590 00:28:14,829 --> 00:28:16,269 Jen! 591 00:28:16,319 --> 00:28:20,869 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42086

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