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1
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,506
I -- I can't hold them off,
Rick!
2
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:07,841
Th-There's too many!
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,262
Richard!
4
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,932
Your fortress is a salty
waste of coral and clam.
5
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,058
Relinquish it at once!
6
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,476
Aah!
7
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,899
Submit,
you continental cunt.
8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,943
Aah!
Got a better idea.
9
00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:30,238
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
10
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,740
Aah!
11
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,117
Aah!
12
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,910
Happy?
Of course I'm happy.
13
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,954
You're acting like you won,
14
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:39,622
but this is exactly
what I wanted!
15
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,624
I am Mr. Nimbus!
16
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,294
Ugh, whatever.
Come on, Morty.
17
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,754
Man, that was intense.
18
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,797
Yeah nice work,
buddy.
19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,799
Sorry I had to
blow up your bunker.
20
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,427
Not so fast, Sanchez.
21
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,555
It is I, Cookie Magneto.
22
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:56,473
What the fuck?
23
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,558
I'm -- I'm not engaging
this guy.
24
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,143
That's hardly
up to you, Rick.
25
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,937
I'm sorry, do you control things
that people agree are cookies?
26
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,690
Yes.
Okay, but cookies
aren't a substance.
27
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,400
They're more of a name
we -- we give to --
28
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,651
To the things I control.
29
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:09,903
Do you control cookie
ingredients?
30
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,738
Because, y'know,
t-that sounds dangerous.
31
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,323
Y'know,
everything has sugar in it.
32
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:13,948
Fight me and find --
33
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,326
Aah!
34
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,119
Jesus, Rick!
I'm sorry, Morty.
35
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,454
I know you're gonna say
it's punching down,
36
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,456
but I can't fight another
one of these '90s-style
37
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,749
goofball super villains.
38
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,000
I'm not
the fucking Tick.
39
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,461
I'm -- I'm exhausted.
Okay, but i-if you really
40
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,712
have a lot of these guys
gunning for you,
41
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,839
maybe you should look into
what you're doing to --
42
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,424
Oh, don't start that crap,
Morty.
43
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,010
I don't do anything for these
dipshits to seek me out.
44
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,137
I am Mr. Calypso!
45
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:41,518
Face me, you ugly, drunk,
ugly piece of shit.
46
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,020
Okay, I might look into it.
47
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,973
Why don't you have a seat?
'Cause this isn't
a therapy session.
48
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,224
I-I'm just asking you
what people in your racket
49
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,811
say about handling
this particular situation.
50
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,355
First, we'd want you
to define the situation.
51
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,065
I'm a walking target for a
never-ending sea of angry nerds
52
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,068
that think getting in a fight
with me is some kind of...
53
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,319
I don't know, platform?
54
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,654
I mean,
look at this guy.
55
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:35,989
He shows up and calls me
an "ugly drunk."
56
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,490
Because of course
that's the angle of attack
57
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,741
that's gonna undo me,
right?
58
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,161
You don't shoot Batman
in his fucking Batman logo.
59
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,247
And you think
locking this man in a chamber
60
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,250
and milking him of cosmic fluid
will somehow resolve this?
61
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,002
I think it's the best I can do
to profit from a situation
62
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:51,129
and maybe set an example.
63
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,047
But you've set this example
many times
64
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,591
and it's not changing
your situation.
65
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,010
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and now you're
gonna tell me to ignore them.
66
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,928
But guess what?
They want that too.
67
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,597
And why would they want
to be ignored?
68
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,390
You really believe if I let
a guy like this
69
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,893
do whatever he wants,
he gets bored and vanishes?
70
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,812
Rick, would you be interested
in proving me wrong?
71
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,814
Yes!
Then show me data.
72
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,107
Ignore them for a week
and see what happens.
73
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:14,611
You're on, bitch.
74
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,696
Is that man dead?
75
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,531
Is everything in here
confidential?
76
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:19,574
Everything but murder.
77
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,992
Then he's fine.
78
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,703
I mean, I-I think
it's pretty big, you know?
79
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:25,246
Big step
for the big cheese.
80
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,581
Yeah, Dad, I'm impressed.
81
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:27,540
Can we not
make it a big deal?
82
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,500
It's worth celebrating,
Rick.
83
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,793
You accepted the concept
of therapy
84
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,755
without turning yourself
into a pickle or a housefly.
85
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,715
Jerry, for fuck's sake,
that was a regular fly
86
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:36,466
in her office that day.
87
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,385
What the hell?
Riiick!
88
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,678
How 'bout a little piss?
89
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,307
Rick, why is there a man
shooting piss on our front lawn?
90
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,308
I'm sure he'll tell you.
91
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,310
I am Pissmaster!
92
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:51,981
Here to flush the toilet
that is Rick Sanchez.
93
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,608
He's spraying
my lavender bush.
94
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,652
My bees
need that lavender!
95
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,986
Remember five seconds ago
96
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,488
when you guys were stoked
about me changing
97
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,239
because it made
you feel superior?
98
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,408
Ooh,
whole family's here.
99
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,952
Who's that redhead?
100
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,662
Wouldn't mind spraying her
with a golden shower.
101
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:06,663
-Oh, my God, what?
-Hey!
102
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,830
Okay, that's it!
103
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,123
Jerry, please
think about this.
104
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,833
If you fight this guy,
I'm either an asshole
105
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,710
for not helping
or an asshole for helping.
106
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,963
My daughter just got
spoken of in porno terms,
107
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,631
and I'll respond
how I choose!
108
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,257
-Wait, Dad, don't!
-Honey!
109
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,008
Hey.
110
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,635
You want a piece of piss?
111
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,679
If that's your stupid rude way
of saying
112
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,263
I have to fight you,
I will.
113
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,682
Take your shot, pussy.
114
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,684
Don't talk to me that way.
Go away!
115
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,227
Make me.
Go away!
116
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,772
Ow!
117
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,691
Careful, honey!
118
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:44,701
Just stay down.
119
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,536
I --
I don't even know you.
120
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,787
Yeah, you don't know me.
121
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:51,082
But I'm gonna know your whole
ass, you son of a gun.
122
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,630
Hey, none of that!
Break it up, guys!
123
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,381
Hey! Come on!
124
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,347
Come on, you dirty
motherfucker.
125
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:12,270
No! No, no, no, no no!
126
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,819
Stop! Aah!
127
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,905
Uncle! Mercy! Mercy!
128
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,240
Stop! I give up!
129
00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,409
Apologize to my daughter.
130
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,119
For what?
131
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,162
You know for what!
132
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,913
I'm sorry!
133
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,833
I'm sorry I sexualized you!
134
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,836
It came out wrong!
135
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,589
That's my dad.
That's my fucking dad!
136
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,384
Honey, I'm so proud of you.
137
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,261
Ow!
138
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,804
Oh, sorry.
139
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,263
Thank you, Rick.
140
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,935
Damn, hashtag
#FlamingoDad is everywhere!
141
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,353
Buzzfeed made
an odd numbered list
142
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,272
of other people's
observations about you,
143
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,441
and you're getting
a lot of hand clap emojis
144
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,027
on White Twitter's
impression of Black Twitter.
145
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,362
Jezebel's offering
a cash reward for evidence
146
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,530
that you're a bad person.
147
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,032
That is
their highest honor!
148
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,492
So this is what
it's like to trend.
149
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,659
Feels good.
Feels right.
150
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,912
Just keep in mind,
now a bunch more assholes
151
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,205
are gonna know they can get
a rise out of you.
152
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,207
Boooo!
Rick, let a dog
have one day.
153
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,793
I'm letting!
I'm letting!
154
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,671
Whoa.
Are those orbs?
155
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:21,923
This is
what I'm talking about.
156
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,174
Some asshole saw that fight
and, believe it not,
157
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:26,302
they were jealous
of Pissmaster.
158
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,224
I am
Blagnar the Eternal.
159
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,643
We seek the earthling
who beat up Pissmaster.
160
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,394
That's my dad,
Jerry Smith!
161
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,771
Jerry Smith.
162
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,815
Our Galactic Orbship
thirsts for justice
163
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,316
and those who deliver it.
Wait, what?
164
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:44,153
Our great council would like
to offer you this silver orb
165
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,155
and with it
a place amongst us.
166
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,949
Whoa.
It -- It -- It's sticky.
167
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,118
Yeah, that means
it's found a pure heart
168
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,285
it wants to bond with.
169
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,829
Y-You guys saw
my son-in-law on the news,
170
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,163
now he gets a sticky orb.
171
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,165
What's the catch?
We're not rubes.
172
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,917
Yeah, your power is well
known in our jurisdiction,
173
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,293
Rick Sanchez, and it should
come as no surprise
174
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:02,421
that our orbs
are unsticky for you.
175
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,174
Oh, no, first I get banned
from the Nextdoor app,
176
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,467
now this.
177
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,636
I'd be honored to join
your organization.
178
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,180
S-So what do I do?
Rub the orb when I see crime?
179
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,974
Or -- Or eat the orb
like spinach?
180
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,560
The orb is raw power.
181
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,145
Trust your heart,
Jerry.
182
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,479
It will know what to do.
183
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,862
Did you turn on the microwave?
184
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,155
No? Maybe?
185
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,281
I -- I was trying to fly.
I --
186
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,325
What?
I mean, come on, Rick.
187
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,453
Orbs and goblets,
this is your thing.
188
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,955
Orbs and goblets.
189
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,832
I'm just saying, you're
the orb guy in the family.
190
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,333
Can you please help me?
191
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,961
Jerry, I give you raw power,
you'll end up miserable like me.
192
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,754
Trust me, I'm helping
by not helping.
193
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:44,839
-Wow.
-Seriously, Rick?
194
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,215
What the eff, Grandpa?
195
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,217
Some creep tried to pee
on my tits and you did nothing.
196
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,219
Now you're gonna sit there
and hold our dad back
197
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,095
from being a hero?
198
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,430
Are you seriously
that petty?
199
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:53,890
Okay, you know what?
Fine!
200
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,308
Here.
Here's your goddamn suit.
201
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,477
I hard-wired the orb's
infinite energy right into it.
202
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,979
This shooty-thing looks cool.
203
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,355
That "shooty thing"
is a nuclear disruptor
204
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,150
that can blow up planets.
Whoa.
205
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,318
So tight.
Kinda hot.
206
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,069
Okay, show me, uh...
207
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,989
acts of evil happening
around the galaxy.
208
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,490
Whoa, Space Hitlers?
209
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:15,077
"Space Hitlers are convening
on Zeplar Prime."
210
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,371
My God, each one of them
is their own type of Hitler.
211
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,248
Yeah,
th-that's a problem.
Oh, shit, do that one.
212
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,459
Aw, you guys.
That's my parents.
213
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,753
Wow.
214
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:24,712
Well, family,
215
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:25,922
looks like Jerry Smith
216
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,590
has his first orb mission.
217
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,300
Lawn Flaming-Ho!
218
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,055
Just a reminder,
you guys asked for this.
219
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,348
Soon,
our legion of Hitlers
220
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:38,392
will bring
about a new galactic order.
221
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,685
A reich, if you will.
222
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,270
Riddle Hitler me this --
223
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,190
I'm sorry, are we just
letting in all Hitlers now?
224
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,943
Auf wiedersehen, bad guys!
225
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,694
Exterminate him!
226
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,446
Ow! Shit!
Oh, Jesus.
227
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,864
One at a time!
228
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,450
Ah, oh, my God!
229
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:03,125
Uh, hope there weren't
other people on that planet.
230
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,543
And there were no other people
on the planet!
231
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,545
Only Hitlers!
232
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,798
Each one ready to start
their own holocaust,
233
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,925
meaning an estimated
30 billion lives
234
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,468
were saved
by a single blast.
235
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:15,554
And the galaxy owes
it all to Jerry Smith.
236
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,265
Hashtag #FlamingoDad.
237
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,266
You gotta be
fucking kidding me.
238
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,559
Up next --
Oh, actually nothing.
239
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,395
I guess we're just gonna talk
about Jerry Smith some more.
240
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,024
I dunno, therapy is starting
to feel hopeless.
241
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,277
I've got so many issues!
242
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,069
Aah!
243
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,153
We need to talk.
244
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,405
Hey. No.
245
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,074
I will not speak with you
if you refuse to treat me
246
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,951
and my patients
with respect.
247
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,496
Oh, Lord.
I was a fly!
248
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:44,041
So unburdened,
so free of shame!
249
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,835
Welp,
I'm officially cured!
250
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:46,961
Here.
Here's your data.
251
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,587
Hard proof
that God hates me.
252
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,548
I ignored a troll,
and Jerry beat the guy's ass.
253
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,591
Now he's got this orb
and he's using the power
254
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,136
which I gave him to annihilate
planets of Hitlers,
255
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,846
and everyone's
popping champagne.
256
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,515
Rick, you came here because
you wanted things to change,
257
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:00,516
and they're changing.
258
00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:01,851
It's working.
259
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,436
Oh, so if my bumbling
moron of a son-in-law
260
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,187
beats up people,
it's "working."
261
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,522
But if I do it,
it's a cosmic abuse of power?
262
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,774
Rick,
listen to yourself.
263
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,860
You're complaining about
how you have to be careful
264
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,278
with your immense power
265
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,863
and that Hitlers are dead.
266
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,907
Everything you're describing
is positive.
267
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,868
Oh, shit.
Not reacting.
268
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,328
That really
is the kill move?
269
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,704
I don't know if you need
to think about it
270
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,874
in terms of murder,
but, yes, just stay the course.
271
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,958
Okay, good -- good talk.
272
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,044
Well, what you're describing
is therapy,
273
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,628
and if you'd like
to keep receiving it,
274
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:32,548
start scheduling your visits
with Judy up front.
275
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,426
Thank you, thank you,
Flamingo Fam.
276
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,886
Uh, you know, when they asked me
if I wanted
277
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,513
to be the first human to drive
a Mitsubishi Space Lancer,
278
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,183
I thought, "Well, I don't know.
279
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,644
I got this cool orb suit
that goes really fast."
280
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,396
But you know what sold me?
281
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,607
The Council said I could pick
my own bridge crew.
282
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,567
Morty, Summer, Beth,
what do you say?
283
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,444
What?
Are you serious?
284
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:56,322
Oh, shit, yeah,
I love Mitsubishi!
285
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,199
Me too!
I-I've heard of them!
This is so exciting!
286
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,825
Oh, my God!
This is so cool!
287
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,535
Alright gang, orbs away!
288
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,170
O me o' my, can it be?
289
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,588
A giant piece of shit
I see?
290
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,635
I am Mr. Stringbean!
291
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,678
No one resists
my rhyming scheme!
292
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,598
Hey, douchebag,
why don't you chill out?
293
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,724
Who's this asshole?
294
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,226
I am Doctor Buckles!
295
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,686
Here to tighten the belt
on your opinions!
296
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,689
Oh, you wanna see
the Bean get mean?
297
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:31,649
Aah!
298
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,611
I'll be damned.
I'm out.
299
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,115
I'm out.
300
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,411
I'm -- I'm out.
301
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,704
Oh, my God, this Piss Guy
is getting wailed on.
302
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,582
Oh! Look at him, he tried
to crawl under the car!
303
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,877
What a loser.
Hey you watching
the Pissmaster video?
304
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,464
Yeah.
He has to be the biggest piece
of shit in the galaxy, right?
305
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,882
Oh-ho,
without a doubt.
306
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,634
Who could relate, being that
much of a piece of shit?
307
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,589
God damn it.
308
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:39,341
Fuck, shit, come on, man.
309
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,302
Fuck, come on, where is it?
310
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,678
Shit, shit.
311
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,515
Ugh!
Fuck!
312
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:49,643
Come on, Pissmaster, come on.
313
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,647
Aah!
314
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,027
Damn it.
315
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,369
It's me.
316
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,788
Please, please just open up.
Dad?
317
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,833
Mom told me you weren't
responding to her calls
318
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,502
and I'm worried, okay?
319
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,629
I know I said terrible things
about you on my podcast.
320
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,672
It's just...I've been
so frustrated with you.
321
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,342
Look, if you
were to ever do something,
322
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,052
I'd never stop blaming myself.
323
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,720
Just, please.
Please let me know you're okay.
324
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,556
God damn it.
325
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,143
I'm okay, honey.
We're good.
326
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,603
I thought something
happened to you.
327
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,022
I can tell you for sure --
if anything happens to me,
328
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,482
it's 100% not on you.
329
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,317
It's my own choice.
330
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,529
You still sound like
you're gonna do something bad.
331
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,365
Just promise you won't,
okay?
332
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,741
Okay, yeah.
333
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,742
Promise.
334
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:47,743
Love you, Dad.
335
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,415
Fuck.
336
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,425
Well, this is it.
337
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,345
I'm killing myself
because of Jerry Smith.
338
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,721
The Earth man.
FlamingoDad.
339
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,933
Seeing them all cheer
as I got my ass whipped
340
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,603
made me realize --
people just wanna see me fail.
341
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:18,732
All I've ever wanted to do
is prove them wrong.
342
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,458
Help!
343
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,421
Wait! Who are you?
344
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,964
Pissmaster.
345
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,799
M-Make, make sure you tell
everybody Pissmaster saved you.
346
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:46,510
Those were heat-seeking pissiles
by the way.
347
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,553
Not just missiles.
348
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,346
Oh, ugh, okay.
349
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,348
Y'all ready for piss?
350
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,808
Yo! Pissmaster!
351
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:53,892
You saving that cat to make
people forget you suck?
352
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,937
Nope, just saving it
to save it.
353
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:57,980
Okay, we got nothing.
354
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:05,821
Piss
355
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:07,740
Pee
356
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,491
Urine
357
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,868
Number one
358
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:11,744
Pee pee
359
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,496
Piss
360
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,333
-Pee
-Look, it's Pissmaster!
361
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,253
Dr. Wong, what's up?
362
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,504
Rick, you're late
for your session.
363
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,007
Cancel it. Bill me.
I'm good.
You're good?
364
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,134
Yeah, see, I put on
the suit of my enemy
365
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,510
and I fucking love it.
366
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,679
Now I'm gonna make a giant
bomb, plant it in a city,
367
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,181
and then have his suit
auto-pilot the bomb into space.
368
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,850
Boom. Everyone will think
Pissmaster sacrificed himself.
369
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,770
He dies a hero,
I get a win I'd otherwise
370
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,356
never get myself,
nice wet bow on top.
371
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,191
I'm tempted to
second guess a lot of that,
372
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,776
but I think
you might be nailing it.
373
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:47,279
What?
If it's free and fun,
do it.
374
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,530
It sounds healthy.
375
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,657
Oh, that wasn't my goal,
376
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,699
but good to know.
377
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,867
Shit, gotta go.
378
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,879
No, exactly.
And the slave planet thing,
379
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:07,841
I hear he broke their chains
with pure urine, so...
380
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:12,888
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late,
lot of traffic on the orbway.
381
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,348
Take a seat, Jerry.
382
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:17,643
We were just discussing
Pissmaster's honorable rise.
383
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,769
I mean, who cares, right?
384
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,521
Uh, people are talking
about him.
385
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,063
He's becoming likable.
386
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:21,814
Good, even.
387
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,400
But...
he's Pissmaster.
388
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,693
People change,
Jerry.
389
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,695
Everyone loves
a comeback story.
390
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,405
All in favor of
391
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,074
offering orbship
to Eugene Michael Piss,
392
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,742
aka Pissmaster?
393
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,077
Orb-yes.
394
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,120
All those opposed?
395
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,746
Obviously orb-no.
396
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,373
The orbship has spoken.
397
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,836
You know what, Jerry? I think
this is a good test for you.
398
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,254
If you can't let go of your
pettiness enough
399
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,925
to recruit Pissmaster, maybe you
don't deserve your orb.
400
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:50,801
And, Jerry...
401
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,263
don't come back without him.
402
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,681
Absolute chaos!
403
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,266
No one knows who planted
the bomb,
404
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,600
but one thing is clear:
405
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,062
Orphan Island, a city
populated entirely by orphans,
406
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,397
now sits on the brink of doom.
407
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,483
The Orphan Island bomb squad
is trying to dismantle
408
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,777
it as we speak.
409
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,779
I can't stress enough,
I'm eight years old,
410
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,781
I have no idea
what I'm doing!
411
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,867
Look!
It's Pissmaster!
412
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:15,951
Oh, no! There's no time
to dismantle it!
413
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,454
Come on, it's not safe here.
414
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,288
Whoa, oh, oh!
Whoo-hoo!
415
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,082
Pisspop? Pisspop?
Pisspop?
416
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,918
Pissmaster.
Jerry,
what are you doing here?
417
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,879
Eugene Michael Piss,
418
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,715
by decree of
the Andromeda strain,
419
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,717
our great council presents
you with this orb,
420
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,218
which you have to take.
421
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,804
Fuck off, Jerry, I'm in
the middle of something.
Excuse me?
422
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,973
Hey, this is the greatest honor
you could ever be given.
423
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,601
I don't want it!
Well, you have to take it.
424
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,311
Jesus Christ,
get the fuck out of here!
425
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,022
He's flying it into space!
426
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,982
He's gonna sacrifice himself!
427
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,570
Get back here,
you ungrateful shit!
428
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,072
What is your problem?! You're
screwing up my hero death!
Good!
429
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,076
FlamingoDad
wants us to blow up?!
430
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,077
When did he become a shitheel?
431
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,662
Life comes at you fast.
432
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,498
Jesus, Dad!
People are filming!
433
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:03,916
Yeah, maybe dial it back?
434
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,841
Rick?
435
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,301
PissSuit!
Auto-pilot the payload!
436
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,344
Confirmed.
437
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,275
That's my
fucking dad.
438
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,865
Jerry?!
Dad?! Are you okay?
439
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,785
Your father is
the fucking Pissmaster!
440
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,745
Um...
Grandpa?
What the hell?
441
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,665
Jerry, what is this?
442
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,208
People are saying
you turned shitheel?
443
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,877
Well, apparently my
father-in-law is Pissmaster,
444
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,128
so why don't
you ask him?
445
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:53,507
What the...?
Rick Sanchez the Pissmaster?
446
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,842
Okay,
this is not a good look.
447
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,552
This family, man.
448
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,220
Look, I don't know
what kinda weird shit
449
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,013
you two are pulling, but
it's completely unstickworthy.
450
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,225
We're done here.
But I didn't know!
451
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:06,728
I-I'm a good guy,.
I -- I made you all famous!
452
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,188
I'm 1,000 years old.
453
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,149
You know how many
"Flamingo Dads" I've seen?
454
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,609
Don't orb us.
455
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,737
I don't get it.
456
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,073
You -- You were
Pissmaster the whole time?
457
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,241
Obviously not, Jerry.
458
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,076
I put the suit on once
Pissmaster kill--
459
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:24,037
Uh, when --
when you made him...
460
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:27,040
Uh, yeah.
I-I've always been Pissmaster.
461
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,043
But that would mean you let
my dad beat you up
462
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,213
just so he could,
like, feel more confident?
463
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,506
Wow.
Damn, Rick.
464
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,091
Yeah, that's amazing.
Hold on, Wh--
465
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:38,218
Everyone's
just accepting this?
466
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,220
Wait.
Wasn't Pissmaster an alien?
467
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,014
He obviously
avatar'd it.
Probably a robot.
468
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,099
But why? Why would Rick even
prop me up like that?
469
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:46,101
Jesus, Jerry. Rick did
something nice for once, okay?
470
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:49,146
He's obviously
trying to change.
471
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,026
You are no
longer worthy of Mitsubishi.
472
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,321
Proud of you, Dad.
473
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,823
Or should I say: Pissmaster.
474
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,992
Yeah, Grandpa, sorry
I yelled at you.
475
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,786
And I guess I'm sorry
for trying to stop you
476
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,580
from killing yourself
with a nuclear bomb.
477
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,416
I just...
really liked having an orb.
478
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:10,709
Eh.
Don't sweat it, Jer.
479
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,002
Piss under the bridge.
480
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,588
Man, I guess
the therapy worked, huh?
481
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,466
Opening up, doing all that
just to make my dad feel good.
482
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,884
That's pretty great
of you, Rick.
483
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,594
Yeah...
that's right, Morty.
484
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:21,637
That's right.
Wait, Morty.
485
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,221
You have to promise
not to tell anyone,
486
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,222
but your dad made Pissmaster
kill himself.
487
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,767
Oh, man, what?!
Yeah, I mean,
488
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,268
I found him dead
and I -- I put on his suit,
489
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,145
but look at this --
he literally blames your dad.
490
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:34,399
Holy shit.
Wait, you kept the suicide note?
491
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,653
That's so messed up!
I know, I mean,
I had to tell someone, Morty.
492
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,571
I couldn't just
sit on that.
And you expect me to?
493
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,156
Morty, no!
What are you doing?!
494
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,909
Aah! What the hell?!
He killed himself?
495
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,911
Jesus, Dad,
you should've told us!
496
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:46,995
Especially
if Jerry murdered him!
497
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,622
Wait, don't say that, I --
I didn't murder!
498
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,415
Hey, I -- I thought
it was pretty cool
499
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,542
that I withheld
that information.
But you didn't withhold it!
500
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,252
You're walking around
with the note!
Yeah, Grandpa,
501
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,254
you gotta, like, keep it in your
heart as a great sacrifice.
502
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,590
That's the cool move.
I mean,
how am I the bad guy?
503
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,010
He sprayed piss on us!
You -- You all cheered me on!
Don't drag us into this.
504
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,595
A man is dead, Dad.
Again,
wasn't gonna say it,
505
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:04,805
but I told you
this would happen.
506
00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:06,014
Get off your high horse.
Boooo!
507
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,307
Dr. Wong would be so proud.
Go ahead and boo.
508
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,767
I was breathing piss,
you think I care?
509
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:09,935
Is this
what it's like to trend?
510
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,144
This is a nightmare!
511
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,605
I should've just let him
pee on my daughter!
512
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,357
Ew!
What the hell, Dad?
513
00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:50,642
How about Jack Miller,
aka CarJack?
514
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:51,935
He lifted a car
off a stranger.
515
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:53,395
-Eh.
-I guess.
516
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,646
-Next.
-Orb-no.
517
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,023
We're fresh off a dad
and a piss guy.
518
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,315
Maybe we add someone
that's already powerful?
519
00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,193
We have to be realistic
about who we can get.
520
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:03,155
I have a pitch.
We're not gonna add
Scarlett Johansson.
521
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:07,826
Next up: Mr. Nimbus,
lord of the oceans.
522
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,578
Oh, I hear he controls
the police.
523
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:10,579
-Wow.
-The police?
524
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:11,872
-Orb-yes.
-Ohhh.
525
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:12,998
Guys, I already checked.
526
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,042
His reps say
he's really busy right now.
527
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:15,917
-He just doesn't wanna do it.
-Everyone says that.
528
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,086
Oh, and we're not busy?
529
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:20,964
Did you get any of that?
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