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1
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,215
Previously, on "Rick and Morty"...
2
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,259
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,342
Ohhh!
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,137
I did it!
I fixed portal travel!
5
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,180
Jack the Ripper,
at your service.
6
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,932
Cool!
This happened too?
7
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:16,933
I'm pregnant.
8
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,685
Honey, she's just like you!
9
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,645
It's raining meatballs!
Okay, something is...
10
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,231
Jerry Smith died
doing what he loved...
11
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,774
Getting stung by bees.
12
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,025
Off.
Off what?
13
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,153
Have some respect.
It's Dad's funeral.
14
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,988
I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr.
15
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,507
Thanks for solving
that murder, guys.
16
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,491
Here's a skateboard.
Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk!
17
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,010
- Morty, say you'll marry me!
- What?
-What?
18
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:36,244
Just say yes!
Yes?
19
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,621
Okay...
Rick,
do you promise to...
20
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,766
I do, and for our honeymoon
let's go to a sealed chamber
21
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,500
lined with
ionized deuterium!
Why?
22
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,753
Because the charge acts
as a narrative decelerant.
23
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,087
Morty, none of this is real.
24
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,065
We're in a "previously on"
spiral. Clear your head.
25
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,924
After all
that's happened?!
No.
26
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,552
I-I'm innocent!
I didn't release those bees!
27
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,553
I love Jerry!
28
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:55,221
What'd I just say?
When?
29
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,745
Okay, great execution.
Let's go back to the chamber.
30
00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:00,810
Now repeat after me, Morty...
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
31
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,479
Next time on "Rick and Morty"?
32
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,481
No. Previously,
on "Rick and Morty"...
33
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,983
Ignore it, Morty.
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
34
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,318
It counteracts his toxins.
35
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,236
Next time on "Rick and Morty."
Whose toxins?
36
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,654
Hey, stop it!
37
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,031
Previous Leon!
Grab him!
38
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,699
Hold on tight, Morty!
39
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,743
We got to get through
the opening titles!
40
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,286
Opening titles of what?
41
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,489
Whoa! We're in space!
Previous Leon: Let go of me! Ow!
42
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,251
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
43
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,005
What planet is this?
44
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,340
Cover your eyes on this part.
45
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,176
Oh, my god,
it's a giant squirrel!
46
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,053
Why are we dressed
like old-timey people?
47
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,347
What the hell's going on?
48
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,891
Why is my dad in a suit?
49
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,393
Best episode!
Why am I butter?
50
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,561
Okay, we're almost through.
51
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,188
Ohh!
Ohh!
52
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:47,774
Ow!
53
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,153
Ugh, and we're back!
54
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,237
Stop!
55
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,423
Let go of me!
What just happened?
56
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,825
Why was there music?
57
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,952
Because of this conceptual
little piece of shit!
58
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,370
Grab his feet!
59
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,765
If we have opening titles,
d-does that mean that we're a...
60
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,582
Let your body purge
the meta-venom, Morty.
61
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,835
Don't succumb to his pointless
self-aware bullshit.
62
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,920
It's not pointless, it's cool!
63
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:12,006
He's got a gun!
Eat lead, pussy!
64
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,217
No, no, no!
65
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,385
Fuck!
66
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,887
Oh!
67
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:18,971
Son of a...
68
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,223
Did he use a portal?
He wishes.
69
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,617
He wriggled back
to the meta layer
70
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,827
through a hole
in the fourth wall.
71
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,185
Put these on
and help me find it.
72
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,189
I-I don't like this, Rick.
73
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,153
Yeah, you shouldn't.
It's not a likable premise.
74
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,461
I mean it's funny
when I do a little nod
to the viewers, but...
75
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,487
What viewers?!
That's the right attitude,
Morty.
76
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,573
A few carefree verbal asides,
always by me.
77
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,992
None of this season-three
"Moonlighting" shit.
78
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,076
Okay, here it is.
79
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:41,387
You're going to... to patch it?
80
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,037
No, he subverted
actual reality, Morty.
81
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,082
He needs to be
put down like a rabid dog.
82
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,425
Ow! Fuck!
83
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,510
Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna
wear those over here.
84
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,388
Maybe he went down that road?
85
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,351
No, no, no. If he took that,
he'd end up a hero.
86
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,100
Damn it, Rick.
I don't like this.
87
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,343
I-Is this whole place just...
88
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:06,936
A bunch of
groan-inducing wordplay
89
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,897
for seven TV critics
that won't even enjoy it?
90
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,398
It's worse than you think,
Morty.
91
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:12,042
We're basting in
meta radiation right now.
92
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,027
Our credibility is
being permanently eroded.
93
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,320
Every second we spend here
94
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,155
is the equivalent
to 10 "Space Jam" cameos.
95
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,532
You should have thought
of that... previously!
96
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,617
Get him!
97
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,914
Ow! Ow!
98
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,123
Oh, no!
99
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,086
Bless me, Heavenly Father,
for you will save me.
100
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,210
Now I feel bad.
Let's just get out of here.
101
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,462
Because he prays?
102
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,672
You know Hitler was Catholic,
right?
103
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,798
I'm here, Leon.
104
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:36,966
Uhh...
Okay.
105
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,843
He apparently prays very well.
106
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,762
Time for you two
to meet the Lord.
107
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:41,888
That's okay, we're good.
108
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,306
Treat it like a bear attack.
109
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,391
Just walk backwards
and make yourself look big.
110
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,353
I love a good refusal
of the call.
111
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,188
Hello, Rick.
112
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,065
Hello...
Amish Juggler?
113
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,275
His name is Story Lord.
114
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,777
Story... Lord?
115
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,362
Listen, trust me,
take Amish Juggler.
116
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:58,905
You can have it.
Story Lord.
117
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,491
Rick, h-he's the villain from
that toy train I bought you.
118
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,825
Very good, Morty.
119
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,577
The fictional versions of you
trapped me
120
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,889
in a Bible show for children,
but I used make-believe Christ
121
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,999
to transcend fiction
and enter meta-reality.
122
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,502
Now I'm the one
doing the trapping.
123
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,087
Leon was the bait.
124
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,630
Bait?!
Jesus?
125
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,465
Aaah!
126
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,591
Aah!
127
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,719
Don't ever...!
Dumb mother...!
128
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,224
You're using Jesus
to beat us up?
129
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,642
Have you seen "South Park"?
130
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:28,851
Good call-out, Morty.
131
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,353
That's the kind of meta I like,
132
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,563
the kind that keeps us
creatively accountable.
133
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,109
Oh, God. Not the Bane.
Not the Bane!
134
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:40,405
He Baned me, Morty.
Oh, Jesus Baned me.
135
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,616
Y-You can't beat me up.
I-I'm... I'm... I'm technically
a Christian child!
136
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,618
And I'm your worst nightmare.
137
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,912
I'm the Jesus
from every Jesus joke.
138
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,122
The one without a God.
139
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,749
Morty!
Take this and get out!
140
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,543
Thank you.
141
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,753
Looks like Story Lord's story
is about to become...
142
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,380
based on real events.
143
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,589
What do you want with that?
144
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,341
I want what any character wants.
145
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,676
Motivation!
146
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:03,052
What?
That's dumb.
147
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,178
So lazy!
148
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:08,224
Forward your notes to my ass!
149
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,642
Wait, what?
He just left.
150
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,395
Kind of makes you want to be
our unlikely ally, huh?
151
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,478
Oh, I guess not.
152
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,401
Previously, on Jesus Christ...
153
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,028
Hey, I'm Jesus.
I'm Mary.
154
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,196
That's my mom's name!
Stop.
155
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,364
Dude, she's a hooker.
156
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,450
She's a better disciple
than you!
157
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,369
Ow! Aw!
Owww!
158
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,456
Oh, no.
159
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,790
I can't die.
160
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,376
I 'ave a proposition for you.
161
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,919
I work alone.
162
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,175
If I suck-a your blood,
I'll be invincible!
163
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,968
I think!
You'll never know.
164
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,261
Aah!
165
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,513
Billionaire immortal
entrepreneur Jesus Christ
166
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,224
has placed all his money into
what he's calling
167
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,101
a "second chance at love."
168
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,770
Hang on, Mary!
169
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,606
The data!
So beautiful!
170
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,358
Make me normal, witch.
171
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,695
Take it all!
172
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,781
Eat your pudding,
Mr. Christ.
173
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,865
What are you smiling at?
174
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,451
Your name.
175
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,413
What's happening, Rick?
176
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,183
Leon's venom makes you think
more and more of your life
177
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,169
is behind you as he feeds
on your released potential.
178
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,046
Leon, y-you saved our lives!
179
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,297
Oh, not yet he hasn't.
180
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,507
Jeez, Rick!
So mean!
181
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,300
He's meta, Morty.
His life doesn't matter.
182
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,677
Yours does.
That's why we need to get back.
183
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,722
Well, this doesn't feel
like a citadel.
184
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,851
Uh, maybe it's cooler
on the inside.
185
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,854
This isn't what it looks like.
186
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,315
This is a very special diet
for successful writers.
187
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,150
Why do you look like
my character?
188
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,029
I am your character!
And you are going to improve me.
189
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,864
But you're Story Lord.
You're great.
190
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,533
Great isn't good enough!
191
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,327
I've killed Rick
and made myself real!
192
00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:54,080
I'm better than
some shitty toy train.
193
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,915
Is this your office
or your apartment?
194
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,834
Why does it smell
like you sleep here?
195
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,002
You're my creator.
Why are you pathetic?
196
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,421
Because you failed!
And whose fault is that?
197
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:03,840
What the hell happened?
198
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,651
You want to know what happened?
Like, specifically?
199
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,177
Well, the Ricks wanted to do
a "Canterbury Tales" -type thing,
200
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,571
but none of them
have actually read
201
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,763
fucking "Canterbury Tales."
202
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,247
So then
they told me to make it like
203
00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:13,784
the poker-game episode
of the Batman cartoon
204
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,726
where the bad guys
tell stories about Batman.
205
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,854
Then they kept telling me
it "needed something."
206
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,689
Yeah, no shit,
it needed something!
207
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,859
It needed to never be pitched!
I did my job!
208
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,528
Goomby, the Ice Queen,
the Tickets Please guy.
209
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,821
They just bailed on it!
210
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,257
The website didn't even
fucking work!
211
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,074
And it was a shitty URL
to begin with,
212
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,202
"Story-dash-train"?
Who uses a dash?
213
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,371
They set me up to fail.
They fucked me!
214
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,291
They fucked me and you're lucky
I haven't blown my brains out!
215
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,210
Right. Just give me a
motivation, you hacky fart.
216
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,712
Okay, here's your motivation.
217
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:46,549
You're looking for motivation.
You want all the motivation.
218
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,010
That's lazy.
It got you this far.
219
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,428
Must be nice, by the way.
220
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,531
Wish I could afford to dress
like a bisexual acting coach
221
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,806
from the '70s.
222
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,934
My motivation...
is motivation.
223
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,352
Okay. Bye.
224
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:02,106
Oh, no, my bitter friend.
You're coming with me.
225
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,402
Yo! If you don't see me coming,
it's a bad fortress!
226
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,864
Where are we?
227
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,699
Headquarters of
the Self-Referential Six.
228
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:12,968
They're meta nerds
that found out
229
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,535
they could be
less bearable as a team.
230
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,870
They can help us?
231
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,306
No, but there's a prisoner here
that can.
232
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,456
Shh.
Don't tell them that.
233
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:19,790
Rick Sanchez.
234
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,043
I've been waiting for
this moment for years.
235
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,171
Oh, good.
Morty, this is Miss... Lead.
236
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,465
I should kill you
where you stand.
237
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,051
I brought you Previous Leon.
238
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,029
You'll want to lock him up
in your detention center.
239
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,804
It's a trick!
He wants your prisoner!
240
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,223
You dick.
Liar!
241
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,808
Talk about a mislead.
Anti-meta field.
242
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:38,976
Fancy device.
243
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,270
I think I can recall
the time you built it.
244
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,855
Don't try it, Flash Back!
245
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,235
You know, I-I'm excited about
the upcoming election.
246
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,946
This forcefield will be
impenetrable by meta-energy.
247
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,739
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
248
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,074
Hmmm.
249
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,284
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
250
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,287
A few barrels of petroleum
should dampen it.
251
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,665
Run, Morty!
252
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,291
Were those not there before?
253
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:06,337
Guess there's been
a... Connie TinuityError.
254
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,798
These people are the worst!
I told you!
Way overpowered!
255
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,051
Look out, Rick!
256
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,928
Forget him.
He's a nameless guard.
257
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,973
That's Protago Nick.
258
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,456
His beam has the power to make
any character the protagonist.
259
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,436
D-Duck!
260
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,146
Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man.
261
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,148
Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man.
262
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,150
Gah!
What are you doing, Marvin?!
263
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,444
Not dying,
that's what I'm doing.
264
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,030
Oh, what's going on?
What happened?
265
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,700
I did it again, Katie.
I ran out on another job.
266
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:39,704
Well, if you didn't do that,
you wouldn't be my man.
267
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,178
I was almost tempted
to just let it go.
268
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,139
That's how much I hate it here.
269
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,682
Smash cut!
270
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,100
Remember me, Rick?
271
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,183
Who's this guy, now?
272
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,520
I am Mr. Twist.
273
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:07,148
The fifth member of
the Self-Referential Six.
274
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,232
Who's the sixth?
275
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,526
That's the twist, Morty.
It's you.
276
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:11,694
What?
Ignore him, Morty.
277
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,195
The twist is
there's no sixth member
278
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,381
and he tells that to everybody.
279
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,906
In any case, you're ours now.
280
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,618
You can't free yourself without
a twist, and I control them.
281
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,370
You don't control every twist,
Mr. Twist.
282
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,040
I've got a twist for you.
Impossible!
What is it?
283
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,167
Aah!
Aha!
Nice try!
284
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,169
Like I didn't see that coming.
285
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,589
Fuck me.
286
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,342
Great work, Morty!
I'm adapting!
287
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,718
Here's our ticket out of here.
288
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,279
They got him in a cell
made out of sports
289
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,804
because it's
the opposite of story.
290
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,181
Do I want to ask who he is?
291
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,891
His name is Brett Caan.
292
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,518
He has the power to make things
always have been other things.
293
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,895
I think
that's called retconning.
294
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,396
B-But his name's Brett Caan?
295
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,940
I mean, Rhett's a name too.
His name could be Rhett Caan.
296
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,902
It is.
And always has been... now.
297
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,403
Whoa.
Careful, Morty.
298
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,946
Stay clear of his retcon range.
299
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,110
Until he agrees to help us.
300
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,450
Rick, you've always trusted me.
301
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,535
Nice try.
Here's how it's gonna work.
302
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,638
You're gonna make it so Morty
and I never came here.
303
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,581
Once that's always been
the case,
304
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:06,892
I'll free you remotely
with this.
305
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,709
What is my purpose?
306
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,586
To wait until I tell you
to pull that lever.
307
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:11,837
You are fucking kidding me.
308
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381
If you don't free me
right now, Rick,
309
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,508
I can make very, very bad things
310
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,259
always have been
the case for you.
311
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,427
Is that a threat, you fuck?
312
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,263
Y-Y-You can rot in there.
Rick.
313
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,824
You know what, Rhett?
Forget what I said.
314
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,266
We've always been friends.
315
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,726
Good one.
316
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,936
Whoa, easy, Rhett.
317
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,397
Don't forget that coffee mug
I gave you.
318
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,650
You always were able to be
killed with coffee.
319
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,027
Aaah!
320
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,946
New plan. Run.
Again.
321
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,115
The twist being...
322
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,742
You were born without bones.
323
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,285
See ya never!
324
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,540
There's never been anything
outside this fortress.
325
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,833
God damn it!
326
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:53,629
And this fortress
has always been an orange!
327
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,299
Pluh!
Great plan, Rick!
328
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,860
Yeah, I'm not pushing back
on that, Morty,
329
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,344
I have royally fucked us.
330
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,556
Ugh!
It hurts.
331
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,266
We've been past the fourth wall
too long.
332
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,059
We won't be real much longer.
333
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,811
You killed us, Rick.
334
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,772
You just had to hate
meta storytelling.
335
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:12,982
In my defense, Morty,
336
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,276
I think you can agree
my hate was justified.
337
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,402
Ohh!
338
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:21,824
Least... earned... death...
ever...
339
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,913
Death is a threshold.
340
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,628
Ugh!
What... What happened?
341
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,713
You atoned.
342
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,173
Who... Who are you?
343
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,467
I'm Joseph Campbell.
Soup?
344
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,636
I almost considered not making
it because my name is Campbell,
345
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,222
but then I thought,
stay in the moment, Joe.
346
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,390
Follow your bliss.
347
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,558
How are you here?
348
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,041
R-Rhett Caan said
there was nothing.
349
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,103
Some things never change
about mythology.
350
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,397
There's always an old man
with soup.
351
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,691
Name one story
that doesn't have one.
352
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,235
Uh,
Jack and the Beanstalk.
"Basketball Diaries."
353
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,695
Every "Matrix."
Every movie ever.
354
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,590
Alright, I don't have to defend
myself to you people.
355
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,282
Where's my soup?
356
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,284
Rick:
Previous Fuckin' Leon.
357
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,203
Why is that prick here?
358
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,787
No more a prick
than you, friend.
359
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,207
Meta characters erode reality.
360
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,375
But all characters are meta,
Rick.
361
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,295
All of us are nourished
and consumed by chaos,
362
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,756
like newborns at the breast
of a meth addict
363
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,466
in a lifeboat filled with forks.
364
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,259
I know what you have
to do, Rick.
365
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,886
Scrub Campbell's
browser history?
366
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,971
Just trust Previous Leon.
367
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,057
Could you
previously us a way home?
368
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,352
Uh, well,
I'll sure enjoy trying.
369
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,478
Yeah, I bet you would.
370
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,313
Rick can't change, Morty.
371
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,899
Change is what you might
call his Kryptonite.
372
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,567
Except instead of being super,
373
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,487
he's, you know, kind of a pussy.
374
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,696
Let's do it.
375
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,200
Previously, on Rick...
376
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,969
Get him off!
Get him off!
377
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:48,869
Oh, boy.
378
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,246
He almost killed you!
379
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,248
Okay, well, I feel bad,
380
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,083
I kind of pressured
you into trying that.
381
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,043
You called me a pussy.
I said I feel bad!
382
00:13:56,126 --> 00:14:00,422
This is a map to a region rich
in narrative ore.
383
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,258
I wish you the best of luck.
384
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,427
Faster, Morty!
I'd help, but I can't blister
my inventing hands.
385
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,845
How long will it take?
Years.
386
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,347
You can live in my wood shed.
387
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,808
Just don't open the door
after dark.
Why not?
388
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,977
Get out here,
you Communist Jews!
389
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,770
Dude.
Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
390
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:18,065
I know, right?
You fucking
"Back to the Future" rip-offs!
391
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,483
It's ready.
392
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,484
Rick, I should stay.
393
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,944
Why?
I'm pregnant.
394
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,280
What are you doing?
It wasn't him, Rick!
Then who?!
395
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,115
Me!
I never left.
396
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,450
But you had to think all this
happened to make that.
397
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,160
And I can get this
through the titles?
398
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,537
If you hang on tight.
399
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,455
What about my beard
and unborn child?
400
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,499
Let them go.
Thank you, Leon.
401
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,667
When you get home, Rick,
402
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,294
do some classic adventures.
403
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,504
Like season one...
I'm so sick of that
fucking note.
404
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,549
What the fuck does it even mean?
405
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,388
Ohh!
406
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,141
Now, one last time.
407
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,268
What's my motivation?
Motivation.
408
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,313
This machine will siphon it
from everyone in the universe.
409
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,815
Perfect. Greenlit.
Launch it.
410
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,361
Oh, I think it's working!
411
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,779
Yes, I can feel it!
412
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,657
Something I did
is actually affecting someone!
413
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,579
I don't want to work anymore.
414
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:17,666
I do, but only as an excuse
to not practice guitar.
415
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,923
Why don't we just write any
number down on the score sheet?
416
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,300
Oh, why even do that?
417
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,139
Wait, you have to register?
418
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,350
Yes!
I can feel it!
419
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,019
I'm so motivated!
420
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,772
I want... a lot!
421
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,691
Story time's over.
422
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,360
Ha!
Hardly your decision.
423
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,863
Did you seriously double down on
motivation as your motivation?
424
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,073
It's a good idea!
425
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,199
There's no such thing!
426
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,700
There's joyful
and there's joyless,
427
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,035
and we've had our fill of one.
428
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,828
Morty, make that sweaty writer
stop working
429
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,789
while I kill off his character.
430
00:15:56,872 --> 00:16:00,751
I have never been more driven
to destroy someone.
431
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,395
Yeah, well, I'm driven
to lower my blood sugar
432
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:05,047
but guess who's getting tacos
after he kicks your ass?
433
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,300
So you're jacked.
Who cares?
434
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,802
Cum gutters.
435
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,221
I don't like that phrase.
I don't take notes.
436
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,852
You can't beat me, Rick.
437
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,438
I have one million times
your motivation!
438
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,900
So do those guys with the
cellphone kiosks at the mall.
439
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,218
The hair is wrong.
440
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,137
Like you'd be picky
about licensing.
441
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,931
Actually, I would.
I happen to believe that...
442
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,105
You can do that?
443
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,481
You got to want it.
444
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,942
Come on, just stop.
I-I don't want to fight you.
445
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,695
Kid, I'm a writer that wrote
something successful.
446
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,280
So if you want me to give it up,
447
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,449
you're gonna need a black belt
or a big pair of tits.
448
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,772
Yeah, well, I don't have those.
449
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,035
Campbell: In the mythical sense,
I have both.
450
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,162
Joseph Campbell?
451
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,788
Yeah, nice try.
He died in the '80s.
452
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,207
Only you can see and hear me,
Morty.
453
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,393
Just repeat what I tell you.
454
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,461
Okay.
455
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,255
Sir, you're only proud of
your creation's success
456
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,965
because you want to be creative,
457
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,092
but creation doesn't happen
through gimmicks,
458
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,635
technology, and distribution.
459
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,387
It doesn't even happen
through work.
460
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,640
Creativity is frankly adjacent
to mental illness and overlaps
461
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,892
with it substantially.
462
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,535
A lot of talented people
kill themselves
463
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,978
and all of them are miserable.
464
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:45,481
The real gift is to be ungifted,
465
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,983
and from what I saw
in your Green Arrow spec script,
466
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,526
that's the gift you were given.
467
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,195
You couldn't have seen that.
468
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,238
I'm Joseph Campbell.
I saw it.
469
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,507
The villain was a placeholder.
470
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,783
I said I saw it, Jan.
471
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,618
I didn't say
I could get past page five.
472
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,328
Y-Your villains
aren't the problem.
473
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,164
The problem is, when you write,
you're a villain.
474
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,792
If you want to be a hero,
just stop.
475
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,510
You know what?
Maybe I will register.
476
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:18,222
Say it! Tell me
I'm the new Mr. Nimbus!
477
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,017
Oh, looks like your writer
took a hiatus.
478
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,393
Oh, fuck.
479
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,145
You're less motivated
to fight now,
480
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,731
so this is literally punching
down, but you've got it coming.
481
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,069
Please, let me live.
482
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,529
I promise to be cooler.
483
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:37,032
I'll be less inside baseball.
Maybe I change my name?
484
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,115
Ow!
485
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,119
You failed me.
486
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,081
No, I failed you.
487
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:49,002
All good things
must come to an end-
488
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,964
All bad things too, though,
so don't flatter yourself.
489
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,257
Jan, Joseph Campbell says
490
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,883
you have to be the one
to put him down.
491
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,094
Wait, wait, wait,
Joseph Campbell also says
492
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,305
you have to use this brand-new
limited edition Rick plush,
493
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,058
available only on
rick-plush.biz.
494
00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,560
Supplies are limited.
Act now.
495
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,894
He did?
496
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,652
Shhh.
497
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,158
Jesus, that's the last time
I buy a toy from a Rick.
498
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,828
Ooh, the plushies
are obviously well made.
499
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,710
Thanks for getting us
back alive, Rick.
500
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,588
Well, I am a master
of both worlds, Morty.
501
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,175
Joseph Campbell told me
to stop writing.
502
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,844
Because it should be effortless.
503
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,155
And when it happens organically,
that's when it's meant to be.
504
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,890
You know, like, um, like me.
505
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,309
I'm a writer, here's a pencil.
Writers use pencils.
506
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,995
Okay, so, like, what if, like,
a pencil used me?
507
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,896
Like, um... okay!
Yeah!
508
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,772
Okay, so it's like
a magic pencil
509
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,441
that writes the writer's life...
510
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,111
Holy shit, it's a movie
about a writer!
511
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,363
I am back!
512
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,272
Yeah, I'm Tag-Man!
513
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,816
I-I-I-I live in the tag!
514
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,652
I-I-I am the tag!
515
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:37,736
I'm Tag-Man!
516
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,154
Tag...
Tag of the episode... man!
517
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,656
"Did you get any of that?"
518
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,592
When the... yeah, when
an episode's over, look out,
519
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,868
because, yaaaah,
here comes Tag-Man!
520
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,496
And I'm... I'm crazy!
Tag-Man!
521
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,499
Yeah!
I'm... I'mma tag your ass!
522
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,792
Tag that ass.
523
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,210
Tag-Ass-Man!
524
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,087
I'm an Ass-Man now!
525
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,421
I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man!
526
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,340
Here's what you get.
Here's your tag!
527
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,050
Yeah, you want some more?
528
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,111
You want... you want some more
tag you sick piece of shit?!
529
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:05,138
I'm... because I'm Tag-Man!
530
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,640
I miss my wife.
531
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,517
Too bad.
This is it!
532
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,394
Tag-Man, yeah!
533
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,480
Did you get any of that?
38498
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