All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S02E15.Thank.You.So.Much.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H265-SiGMA_track3_[eng]

PREVIOUSLY ON...
WHY DON'T I JUST MARRY YOU?

I'VE GOT
A FANTASTIC HEALTH PLAN.

YOU'D BE COVERED INSTANTLY.

(Mary Alice) SUSAN GOT AN OFFER
SHE COULDN'T AFFORD TO REFUSE.

YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
GIVE ME YOUR KEYS.

BREE REJECTED
A HELPING HAND.

I WANT TO HAVE A BABY
WITH YOU.

GABY GAVE CARLOS THE ANSWER
HE'D BEEN WAITING FOR.

YOU'RE MY SECOND A-B NEGATIVE
TODAY.

OH, WHO IS IT?
THAT GUY.

AND ZACH BEGAN TO PUT
"A" AND "B" TOGETHER.

SUSAN MAYER HAD ALWAYS BELIEVED

THE PUNISHMENT
SHOULD FIT THE CRIME.

SHE FIRST
CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION

WHEN SHE DISCOVERED
HER HUSBAND KARL

HAD BEEN UNFAITHFUL.

SINCE KARL HAD DESTROYED
THE LOVE SHE HAD GIVEN HIM...

SHE FELT
IT WAS APPROPRIATE

SHE DESTROY THE THINGS
HE LOVED IN RETURN...

ONE BY ONE.

(metal crunching)

BUT NOW, THREE YEARS
AFTER THEIR DIVORCE,

SUSAN WAS REUNITED WITH KARL
ONCE AGAIN...

SUSAN,
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

AS PARTNERS
IN A CRIME OF THEIR OWN.

THIS IS INSURANCE FRAUD.
WE COULD BOTH GO TO JAIL.

NOW WE CAN'T TELL ANYONE
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

I KNOW.
I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.

NOW THE PRENUP'S
ALL SET.

YOU CAN SIGN IT
AT THE COURTHOUSE.

11:30, WEDNESDAY MORNING.
RIGHT?

RIGHT. AND YOUR SURGERY'S
STILL ON FOR THURSDAY?

YEP.
GOOD. THE INSURANCE KICKS IN
THE MINUTE WE SAY "I DO."

YOU'RE SET TO GO.

I KNOW NO ONE'S ASKING ME,
BUT I THINK THIS WHOLE THING

IS A TRAGIC MISTAKE,

AND I JUST DON'T HAVE IT IN ME
TO SURVIVE ANOTHER UGLY DIVORCE.

DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

THIS TIME, IT IS STRICTLY
A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT.
IT BETTER BE,

'CAUSE IF I SEE SO MUCH
AS ONE LINGERING GAZE

BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU,
I SWEAR I'LL GO

TO THE INSURANCE COMPANY
AND TURN YOU IN.

SO WE SHOULDN'T EXPECT
A WEDDING GIFT, HUH?

OH, CAN YOU GRAB ME
YOUR WEDDING RING?

I WANNA GET IT CLEANED
BEFORE THE CEREMONY.

UH... IS THAT
REALLY NECESSARY?

I MEAN, DO WE HAVE TO DO
THE WHOLE RING THING?

OF COURSE WE DO.
IT'S GOTTA LOOK BELIEVABLE.

YEAH, OKAY.

WELL, I'LL JUST GRAB SOMETHING
OUT OF MY JEWELRY BOX.

SUSAN, THAT RING
WAS MY GRANDMOTHER'S.

ONE DAY IT'S GONNA BE JULIE'S.
WHERE IS IT?

I DON'T KNOW...

EXACTLY.

THAT WAS A FAMILY HEIRLOOM.
I TRUSTED YOU WITH IT.

WELL, I TRUSTED YOU NOT TO
CHEAT ON ME AND BREAK MY HEART.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
WHAT--WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?

I THREW IT OUT MY CAR WINDOW
SOMEWHERE ON ROUTE 7.

WHAT?! WHEN?

THE NIGHT
YOU ABANDONED ME.

SUZ--

KARL, YOU ARE SO NOT ALLOWED
TO GET ANGRY.

I MEAN, I MIGHT'VE BEEN THE ONE
TO THROW AWAY THE WEDDING RING,

BUT YOU THREW AWAY
THE WHOLE MARRIAGE.

THERE WAS PLENTY OF BAD BEHAVIOR
THAT WENT ON BACK THEN,

SO JUST GET OFF
YOUR HIGH HORSE.

WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE NOW,

SO WE SHOULD
JUST FOCUS ON THAT.

(beeping)

YES, SUSAN MAYER
BELIEVED THE PUNISHMENT

SHOULD FIT THE CRIME.

KARL, I THINK
THERE MIGHT BE SNAKES IN HERE.

WE'RE NOT LEAVING HERE
UNTIL YOU FIND THAT RING.

BUT FOR THAT MATTER,
SO DID KARL.

(singing opera in Italian)

IT WAS A TRADITION
AT LEONARDO'S BAR AND GRILL,

AN HOUR BEFORE CLOSING TIME,
A WAITER WOULD SING A SELECTION

OF RIDICULOUSLY DEPRESSING
ITALIAN ARIAS.

IT WAS ALSO A TRADITION

THAT THE ONLY CUSTOMERS
WHO WOULD ACTUALLY LISTEN

WERE THE ONES ALREADY DEPRESSED
TO BEGIN WITH.

(sniffles) TONY?

DO YOU HAVE TO RUSH OFF?

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD
JUST CHAT FOR A MINUTE.

SO I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
IN A WHILE.

WELL, I DIDN'T WANNA COME HERE
BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID

IT WOULD DRUDGE UP MEMORIES
OF MY HUSBAND.

YOU KNOW,
THIS WAS OUR PLACE.

REX PASSED AWAY RECENTLY.

HE WAS, UM, MURDERED
BY OUR PHARMACIST.

WOW.

I HOPE YOU CHANGED
PHARMACISTS.

I DIDN'T HAVE TO.
HE COMMITTED SUICIDE.

LOOK, YOU'VE HAD
A LITTLE TOO MUCH WINE TONIGHT.

HOW ABOUT
I CALL YOU A CAB?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M OKAY.

YOUR CAR WOULD BE SAFE
IN OUR LOT,

AND YOU CAN PICK IT UP
TOMORROW. PLEASE.

WELL, OKAY.

***

TONY?

HOW MANY MORE ARIAS
IS HE GONNA SING?

FIVE.

OH. IN THAT CASE,

WHY DON'T YOU BRING ME
ANOTHER BOTTLE

OF THE PINOT GRIGIO?

(sings off-key)

AND PLEASE HURRY.

(keys jingle)

BREE?

BREE. YOU OKAY?

(snoring)
UGH.

(doorbell rings)

YES?

HI. UH, DID YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER
IS ASLEEP ON THE LAWN?

(chuckles) OH, WOW.

YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T SEEM
TERRIBLY SHOCKED.

OH, IT'S, UM...
IT'S JUST, MOM DRINKS,

AND SOMETIMES SHE SLEEPS IT OFF
IN THE WEIRDEST PLACES.

CAN I HELP YOU WITH HER?

NO. NO, IT'S OKAY.

I, UH, I KNOW HOW
TO TAKE CARE OF HER.

WELL, GOOD LUCK
TO YOU THEN.

(screaming)

I WANNA PLAY "CHOPSTICKS."
ME TOO.

YOU OKAY?
(doorbell rings)

I'M COMING!

(boys playing on toy piano)

HI.
HI.

YOUR KIDS--

THEY HAVE ANY ALLERGIES
I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

UH, NOT THAT I KNOW OF. WHY?

'CAUSE
I'M WATCHING THEM.

TOM CALLED,
SAID YOU BOTH GOT PULLED

INTO WORK FOR THE WEEKEND,
ASKED ME TO BABY-SIT.
REALLY?

I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE
IF I GAVE 'EM BACK TO YOU ALIVE.

(laughs)
OH, HEY,
MRS. McCLUSKEY.

HI.
SORRY,
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

OH, THAT'S OKAY. UM...

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME JUST
FOR A SECOND? I HAVE A... THING.

SURE.
THANKS.

FOLLOW ME.
YOU'RE PART OF THE THING.

A MILLION TEENAGERS
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

AND YOU HIRE McCLUSKEY?
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

WELL, FOR STARTERS,
SHE'S ANCIENT!

(lowers voice) SHH!
THIS IS A THIN DOOR!

IT WAS NOT THAT LONG AGO
THAT SHE KEELED OVER

IN HER FRONT YARD. A DAY WITH
OUR KIDS WILL FINISH THE JOB.

IT'S ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS.

PLUS, PARKER'S ON A PLAY DATE
WITH THE FARRELLS,

SO IT'S JUST
THE TWINS AND PENNY.

JUST THE TWINS AND PENNY?

OKAY, THAT WAS STUPID.

LET ME TRY THAT ANOTHER WAY.

WE HAVE TO BE AT WORK
IN ONE HOUR.

THERE'S NO DAY CARE
ON THE WEEKENDS,

SO YOU CUT McCLUSKEY LOOSE,
WE'RE STUCK.

WE WILL FIND SOMEONE--

SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER
WHAT THEY WERE DOING

THE DAY LINCOLN WAS SHOT.

FINE.
LET'S GO BREAK THE NEWS.

MY WIFE HAS SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

UM, THERE WAS
A LITTLE MISCOMMUNICATION,

AND AS IT TURNS OUT,
WE DON'T NEED YA.

OKAY. FINE.
I'LL JUST GO BACK HOME.

OKAY. SORRY.

BY THE WAY,
YOUR HUSBAND WAS RIGHT.

IT'S A THIN DOOR.

CARLOS,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HELLO, GABRIELA.

OH.

HI, MOM.

I JUST TOLD CARLOS
I JUST HAD TO TAKE A SHOWER.

THE MAN NEXT TO ME ON THE PLANE
WEIGHED 300 POUNDS,

AND HE SWEATED ALL OVER ME.
UGH, IT WAS SO GROSS.

NO, I'M JUST SURPRISED
YOU'RE HERE.

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.

DON'T YOU AND MR. HEDGE FUND
HAVE PLANS?

I KNOW CARLOS AND I DO.

NO, I LEFT CHARLES.

WHAT?
MM-HMM.

HE WAS WORTH,
LIKE, $6 MILLION.

MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING,
GABRIELA.

FOR SOME PEOPLE,

BUT WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT YOU NOW, MOTHER.

YOU KNOW,
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I MEAN, I JUST WENT THROUGH
A TERRIBLE BREAKUP,

AND THE LEAST YOU COULD DO
IS PRETEND TO CARE.

WELL, OF COURSE WE FEEL AWFUL
ABOUT IT, DON'T WE, GABRIELLE?

YEAH, WE'RE JUST
SICK ABOUT IT.

WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
MM-HMM. I'LL BE OKAY.

IN FACT, I BOUGHT MYSELF
A LITTLE GIFT

TO TAKE MY MIND
OFF MY PROBLEMS.

REALLY?
WHAT DID YOU BUY?

(gasps) NEW BOOBS!

WHOA!

NO PEEKING, CARLOS.

OKAY, MOM,
PUT THESE AWAY!

MY PLASTIC SURGEON
GAVE ME A GREAT DEAL.

AREN'T THEY FUN?

(giggles)

BYE, CARLOS.

WHAT?
I THINK SHE'S CHARMING.

OKAY, YOU CAN THINK
SHE'S CHARMING.

BUT DON'T FORGET FOR ONE SECOND
THAT SHE IS A MONSTER.

(laughs)

DID YOU GET THE GUM OUT
FROM UNDER THE DIAMOND?

MOSTLY.

MORNING.

HI!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

DR. RON,
DID YOU SPEND THE NIGHT?

WELL, UH, YEAH, I GOT
KINDA TIRED AFTER THE MOVIE,

SO I ASKED--
IT'S OKAY. SHE KNOWS
THAT YOU MAKE HOUSE CALLS.

OH. UM, SO LISTEN,
I'VE GOT SURGERY TILL 6.

I'LL GET DRESSED AND I'LL PICK
YOU UP AT ABOUT 7.

WE HAVE RESERVATIONS
AT CHEZ NAOMI.
GREAT! I'LL HAVE
A LIGHT LUNCH.

AND ALSO, DR. CUNNINGHAM'S
SCHEDULE OPENED UP,

SO IF YOU'D LIKE, WE CAN MOVE UP
YOUR SURGERY TO WEDNESDAY.

OH, I HAVE A WEDDING
THAT DAY.
ON A WEDNESDAY?

UH... YEAH.

UM, WEDNESDAYS ARE BECOMING
VERY POPULAR WITH BRIDES.

IT'S LIKE THE NEW SATURDAY.
(chuckles)

OH. OKAY.

WELL...

I'LL SEE YA TONIGHT.
BYE.

YOUR MOTHER IS
A ROTTEN, SNEAKY PERSON.

LOOK, I'M NOT TOO CRAZY ABOUT
THIS WHOLE FAKE MARRIAGE THING,

BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE
THAT OPERATION, YOU COULD DIE.

SO DON'T BE SO HARD
ON YOURSELF.

YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON.

THANKS, HON.
THAT REALLY HELPS.

OKAY, NOW I WANT YOU
TO GO OVER

AND SLIP THIS RING
TO YOUR FATHER.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW,
IF EDIE CATCHES YOU,

I'M EXPECTING YOU
TO SWALLOW IT.

HOW'S THE HANGOVER?

I DO NOT HAVE A HANGOVER,
ANDREW, BECAUSE I WAS NOT DRUNK.

THEN, UH... HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE HAIR OF THE DOG?

IT'LL PERK YOU RIGHT UP.

LOOK, FOR THE RECORD,

I HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION
TO MY ANTIHISTAMINE MEDICATION,

SO I WOULD APPRECIATE
JUST A LITTLE BIT OF SYMPATHY.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DRINK ALONE
IN YOUR ROOM LIKE TAMMY'S MOM?

FOR GOD SAKES,
IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE.

I THOUGHT I COULD HAVE

JUST A LITTLE BIT OF WINE
WITH DINNER,

BUT, APPARENTLY,
MY BODY COULDN'T HANDLE IT.

FINE!

IF IT MAKES EVERYBODY HAPPY,
I WILL JUST SUFFER

THROUGH MY SNEEZING FITS
AND MY HIVES ON MY OWN.

(pills clatter)

THERE. IS THAT BETTER?

SO BASICALLY
YOU WOULD RATHER DRINK

THAN TO NOT HAVE
ALLERGIES?

(doorbell rings)

(sighs)

HI. IS NOW A BAD TIME?
I COULD REALLY USE A FAVOR.

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL,
WASN'T SHE?

YEAH.

COME ON, SIT DOWN.
YOUR BREAKFAST IS GETTING COLD.

WAS MY REAL MOTHER
BEAUTIFUL?

WELL, SHE WAS, UH,
ATTRACTIVE, AS I RECALL.

DO I LOOK LIKE HER?

I DON'T KNOW.
I-I ONLY MET HER ONCE.

OH. WELL, 'CAUSE IF
I DON'T LOOK LIKE HER,

THEN I MIGHT LOOK LIKE
MY REAL DAD.

I'M GETTING REAL TIRED
OF YOUR MORBID FASCINATION

WITH TWO STRANGERS WHO DIDN'T
LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU.

SO, PLEASE,
STOP ASKING ABOUT THEM.

IT'S ONLY NATURAL THAT I'D WANNA
TALK ABOUT MY BIRTH PARENTS.

WELL, IT MAY BE NATURAL,

BUT IT CERTAINLY
ISN'T POLITE.

(turns newspaper page)

(Sullivan) AND ONCE
YOUR DAUGHTER WAS DEAD,

THEY HAD TO GET RID
OF HER SOMEHOW.

THAT'S WHERE
THE TOY CHEST CAME IN.

FLASH FORWARD 15 YEARS,

THE CHEST WASHES UP
ON THE SHORE OF ROCKWATER LAKE.

ANY FORENSIC EVIDENCE
IS LONG GONE,

AND THE YOUNGS
GET AWAY WITH MURDER.

NOW, OF COURSE,
THE WIFE, MARY ALICE,

IS ALREADY DEAD, BUT...

PAUL YOUNG'S
A DIFFERENT MATTER.

IF YOU'D LIKE ME
TO DEAL WITH HIM,

JUST SAY THE WORD.

DELFINO'S BRINGING
MY GRANDSON HERE.

I WANNA
GET THE KID SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THOSE MP3 THINGS?

YEAH, THEY'RE REAL NICE.
I'D GO WITH THAT.

AH, HE'S PROBABLY
GOT ONE ALREADY.

PAUL YOUNG
HAS HAD 16 YEARS

TO GET MY GRANDKID
ANYTHING HE WANTS.

DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA?
YEAH.

SEE TO IT THAT PAUL YOUNG

HAS A TOY CHEST
OF HIS VERY OWN.

(football game playing on TV)
KARL!

(Karl) YEAH?
THIS PLACE
IS A FREAKIN' PIGSTY.

WOULD YOU GET DOWN HERE
AND HELP ME?

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON,
IT'S ALMOST HALFTIME.

BY THE WAY,
I MADE DINNER RESERVATIONS

AT CHEZ NAOMI TONIGHT,
IF THAT'S OKAY.

(sighs) IT'S GOTTA BE BETTER
THAN THAT RATHOLE

YOU TOOK ME TO
ON NEW YEAR'S.

AND DON'T EVEN THINK
OF GETTING ME CARNATIONS AGAIN.

THAT CRAP MIGHT HAVE FLOWN
FOR MAYER.

(lowers voice)
I ACTUALLY HAVE TASTE.

COME ON! MOVE IT!

(Karl)
ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING.

NO! NO, NO, NO.
SIT AND WATCH THE GAME.

I WAS JUST GIVING YOU
A HARD TIME.

YOU'D HAD A TOUGH WEEK.

***

BOYS...

CAN YOU JUST KEEP IT DOWN
JUST A LITTLE BIT?

BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY...

UH, SPECIAL TYPE
OF GROWN-UP HEADACHE.

WE NEED TO SEE MOMMY AND DADDY.
WE WANNA PLAY 'EM OUR SONG.

HONEY, YOU CAN'T.
THEY'RE AT WORK.

WELL, CAN WE PLAY IT
FOR YOU?

***

SURE. (sighs)

JUST--JUST A MOMENT,
OKAY?

(cries)
OHH.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
LET'S HAVE IT.

***

WHEN I HEARD THAT YOU TWO
WANTED TO TRY FOR ANOTHER CHILD,

I WAS DELIGHTED.

BUT I HAD SOME CAUSE
FOR CONCERN.

GABRIELLE, YOU SUFFERED
SOME EXTENSIVE INJURIES

DURING YOUR FALL
LAST MONTH,

AND THE TEST CONFIRMED
THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS.

YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS?

WELL, THE DOCTOR'S NOT
100% POSITIVE,

BUT IT'S VERY,
VERY IFFY.

CARLOS, I AM SO SORRY.

I KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU WANTED TO BE A DAD.

THANKS.

DON'T BE SO SUICIDAL.
WE CAN ALWAYS ADOPT.

I WANTED TO HAVE A CHILD
OF OUR OWN. YOU KNOW THAT.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER
WHOSE D.N.A. IT IS?

THE DIAPERS ARE STILL GONNA
SMELL THE SAME REGARDLESS.

I'D JUST PREFER
NOT TO ADOPT. OKAY?

FINE. WHAT ABOUT SURROGACY?
I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S PRICEY,

BUT AT LEAST THE BABY
WOULD LOOK LIKE US,

AND I WOULDN'T GET
STRETCH MARKS. IT'S A WIN-WIN.

GREAT. SO THEN WE HAVE
SOME STRANGER OFF THE STREET

GIVING BIRTH TO OUR CHILD.
IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

WHAT I WANT
IS FOR YOU TO LIGHTEN UP.

WE DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF OPTIONS,

AND YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PICK ONE.
I-I HAVE A THOUGHT. MM?

WELL, IT'S, UH,
A LITTLE BIT CONTROVERSIAL,

BUT, UH, GO WITH ME.

WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
LET ME TELL YOU,

THAT I AM IN THE BEST SHAPE
OF MY LIFE.

SO?

SO... WHAT IF I WAS
YOUR SURROGATE?

YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW
IT MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE CRAZY,

BUT I AM THE ONLY ONE
IN THE WORLD

THAT YOU CAN TRUST
TO PUT THE BABY'S NEEDS FIRST.

YOU KNOW, I'LL EXERCISE MORE,
I'LL EAT BETTER--

MOTHER, NO!

WHY?

OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD,
YOU'RE ON MEDICARE?

I AM ONLY FIFTY... ONE.

YOU KNOW, AND THERE'S THIS WOMAN
IN ENGLAND LAST YEAR.

SHE WAS 63 YEARS OLD,
AND SHE GAVE BIRTH

TO HER OWN GRANDCHILD.

LOOK, I DON'T CARE IF SHE SHOT
TRIPLETS OUT OF HER ASS.

IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

HOW'D THAT
ENGLAND BABY TURN OUT?

I MEAN, IT DIDN'T HAVE, LIKE,
A BIG HEAD OR ANYTHING, DID IT?

CARLOS, YOU ARE NOT
SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING THIS.

WELL,
THINK ABOUT IT, GABY.

THIS WAY, THE SURROGATE WOULDN'T
BE SOME IMPERSONAL INCUBATOR.

THERE'D BE A FAMILY TIE.
(scoffs)

I HAVE A MIGRAINE.
I'M GONNA GO LAY DOWN UPSTAIRS.

THEN WHEN I GET UP,

I HOPE WE CAN ALL TALK ABOUT
THIS LIKE RATIONAL HUMAN BEINGS.

CARLITOS, DON'T WORRY.

JUST GIVE HER TIME.
SHE'LL COME AROUND.

(Penny hums)

(horn honks)

BOYS?

BOYS?

OKAY, WE'RE DONE PLAYING
HIDE-AND-SEEK!

BOYS?!

PORTER! PRESTON!

THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

MRS. McCLUSKEY, HI.

HAVE YOU SEEN
THE SCAVO BOYS?

NO, CAN'T SAY
THAT I HAVE. WHY?

I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL THEM.

AH.

HAVE THEY SIGNED
THE CONTRACT?

'CAUSE IF NOT,
SOMEBODY SHOULD CALL BEDNARK

AND TELL THEM
TO ADJUST THE LANGUAGE.
(man) OKAY, I'LL HANDLE IT.

(cell phone rings)
OH. I'M SORRY. HANG ON.
HELLO?

(woman) Lynette Scavo?

YES.

I BELIEVE I HAVE SOMETHING
THAT BELONGS TO YOU.

(hair dryer whirring)

HI. EXCUSE ME.

HI. YOU CALLED
AND YOU SAID MY KIDS ARE HERE?
(boys) HI, MOMMY!

OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
DAD!

JUST WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,
TAKING OFF LIKE THAT?

(Lynette) HONEY,
I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

(Tom) GET YOUR STUFF.
GET YOUR STUFF RIGHT OVER HERE.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
STAY RIGHT HERE.

I'M JUST GLAD I FOUND 'EM
AND NOT SOME WEIRDO FREAK.

OH, YES.
OH, YEAH, ME TOO. THANK YOU.

BECAUSE THERE ARE ALL SORTS
OF CRAZY PEOPLE OUT THERE--

DRUNKS, PERVERTS, MOLESTERS.

YES! YEAH, NO, I KNOW.

NO! YOU GOT REALLY LUCKY.

I MEAN, A DIFFERENT PERSON
MIGHT HAVE CALLED THE COPS

OR CHILD WELFARE.

WELL, UH, OKAY,
I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS,

BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU,

I LEFT THEM WITH
A VERY RELIABLE BABY-SITTER.

OH, YEAH.
YOU PICKED A REAL WINNER.

ARE YOU JUDGING ME?
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE,

YOU COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING--
LYNETTE, LYNETTE!

WHAT?!
LET IT GO.

THE KIDS WALKED
FOR 3 MILES TO GET HERE.

WE DON'T HAVE
A LEG TO STAND ON.

WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

(Tom) HERE WE GO.

HEY...
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I AM TIRED OF ALL
THE TENSION AROUND HERE,

SO I WAS THINKING WE COULD
GO SHOPPING, HAVE SOME FUN.

THEN MAYBE LATER WE CAN TALK
ABOUT THE SURROGACY THING,

SEE IF WE CAN
MAKE IT WORK.

OH, GABRIELA!

OH, YOU'LL SEE...

THIS IS THE BEST THING
FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.

SO WHERE'S THE BOUTIQUE?

OH, IT'S IN
THE HOTEL LOBBY.

SO GO AHEAD,
I'M RIGHT BEHIND YA.

OKAY.

(doors lock, engine starts)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GOING HOME.

WHAT?

I THOUGHT
WE WERE GONNA TALK ABOUT

HOW THE SURROGACY WILL WORK.

HERE'S HOW IT'S GONNA WORK--
YOU'RE GONNA CHECK YOURSELF

INTO THE HOTEL,
AND THEN TOMORROW,

YOU'RE GONNA PLANT YOUR
CHILDBEARING HIPS ON A PLANE,

AND YOU'RE GONNA
LEAVE OUR LIVES FOREVER.

I'M PULLING OUT.
WATCH YOUR BOOBS.

(sighs)

(Lynette) COME ON OUT.

OH, THANK GOD! I'M SO SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

I WAS IN THE KITCHEN CLEANING UP
AFTER MAKING COOKIES,

AND I LOOKED IN THE LIVING ROOM,
AND THEY WERE GONE.

WE TRIED TO TELL HER WE WERE
GOING, BUT SHE WAS ASLEEP.

YOU WERE SLEEPING?

I MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT.
YES, YOU WERE.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, THAT LIE
JUST LOST YOU ANOTHER WEEK

OF TV AND VIDEO GAME
PRIVILEGES.

THAT'S TWO. YOU WANNA
KEEP TALKING AND LOSE MORE?

THEN APOLOGIZE
TO MRS. VAN DE KAMP.

SORRY.

ALL RIGHT, GO BACK IN.
NO--NO HARM DONE.

I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.

UGH!

(sighs)

WELL, IF YOU ASK ME, IT'S
A PRETTY CRAPPY THING TO DO.

DID YOU EVEN SLOW THE CAR DOWN
BEFORE YOU PUSHED HER OUT?

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
NO ONE ASKED YOU.

AND THE ONLY REASON YOU CARE
ABOUT MY MOTHER IS BECAUSE

OF THAT RIDICULOUS SUGGESTION
SHE OFFERED.
I THINK HER OFFER

TO BE OUR SURROGATE
WAS VERY GENEROUS.
GENEROUS? DON'T YOU SEE
THE STRINGS ATTACHED?

WHAT STRINGS?
THE ONLY REASON

SHE OFFERED UP HER DUSTY WOMB
IS BECAUSE SHE'S SCREWED.

HER LATEST SUGAR DADDY
GAVE HER THE BOOT,

SO MOM NEEDS A PLACE TO STAY
AND MONEY. SO TRUST ME,

IF SHE CARRIED OUR CHILD, WE'D
BE FOOTING THE BILL FOR YEARS.

I THINK YOUR HATRED FOR HER
IS CLOUDING YOUR JUDGMENT.

MAYBE, BUT YOU DON'T
KNOW HER LIKE I DO.

OKAY.

YOU RAN AWAY FROM HOME
15 YEARS AGO.

DID YOU EVER THINK
TO TALK TO HER

ABOUT THE STUFF THAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR STEPDAD?

IT WOULDN'T HAVE DONE
ANY GOOD.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE...

SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT
WAS GOING ON WITH ALEJANDRO,

AND SHE CHOSE
TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

BUT YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE HER
A CHANCE TO STEP UP.

YOU JUST RAN AWAY
FROM HOME.

BECAUSE IF I DID,
THEN SHE W--

(crying) BECAUSE...

THERE WAS A CHANCE
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED ME,

AND... AND THAT
WOULD'VE HURT A LOT WORSE

THAN ANYTHING
HE EVER DID TO ME.

SHE'S YOUR MOTHER,
AND SHE LOVES YOU.

I KNOW IT'S BEEN
A VERY LONG TIME,

BUT MAYBE YOU CAN
TALK TO HER ABOUT IT NOW.

I'M GETTING HER LUGGAGE
BACK TO HER,

AND THAT'S THE BEST
I CAN DO.

(knock on door)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

IT'S IMPORTANT.
THERE'S NOTHING FOR US
TO TALK ABOUT.

SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

DIERDRE'S FATHER,
NOAH TAYLOR,

SOMEHOW FOUND OUT ABOUT ZACH,
AND HE WANTS TO MEET HIM.

"SOMEHOW FOUND OUT"?
LIKE, MAYBE YOU TOLD HIM?

NOAH IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.

BUT HE'S VERY RICH AND POWERFUL,
AND HE'S TERMINAL,

AND HE WANTS TO MEET
HIS GRANDSON BEFORE HE DIES.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

WELL, YOU'LL BE SURPRISED,
BUT I AGREE WITH YOU.

NOAH DESTROYS
EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES,

AND THE LAST THING
EITHER OF US WANTS

IS FOR THIS GUY
TO GET HIS HOOKS INTO ZACH.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

YOU AND ZACH NEED TO VANISH.
JUST STAY OUT OF SIGHT

UNTIL NATURE
TAKES ITS COURSE WITH NOAH.

IF WE LEAVE,
WE WON'T BE COMING BACK.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE
YOUR BOY AGAIN.

I KNOW.

WELL, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY,
MY DARLING.

ISN'T THAT
YOUR EX-HUSBAND?

OH, YEAH.

(both laughing)

OH, APPARENTLY,
THEY'LL LET ANYONE IN HERE.

HI. HMM.

YOUR CHOCOLATE SOUFFLéS
WILL BE OUT MOMENTARILY.

OH, WE DIDN'T
ORDER SOUFFLé.

I ORDERED
AS SOON AS WE GOT HERE.

IT TAKES AN HOUR
TO PREPARE.
OH, I REALLY CAN'T.
I'M STUFFED.

NO, NO, NO,
THIS YOU'LL WANNA TRY.

IT'S THEIR SPECIALTY.

I GUESS
I'LL HAVE THE SOUFFLé.

CAN YOU EXCUSE ME
FOR A SECOND?

I, UM... I JUST
HAVE TO POWDER MY NOSE.

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

YOUR MAKEUP IS ALL SMUDGED.
COME WITH ME. I'LL FIX IT.

WHAT?
COME ON, GET UP.

SORRY.

MY MAKEUP IS SMUDGED?

(Edie) GET IN HERE.

I HAVE SOME NEWS THAT'S
PROBABLY GONNA DEVASTATE YOU.

BUT I WANTED TO BE
THE FIRST ONE TO TELL YOU.

OKAY.

KARL IS ABOUT
TO POP THE QUESTION.

YOU MEAN, LIKE, MARRIAGE?
MM-HMM!

OH, I HOPE I HAVEN'T RUINED
YOUR VALENTINE'S DAY.

DO YOU WANT A TISSUE?
NO, NO. I'M OKAY.

I-I'M JUST... SURPRISED.
UH, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

UM, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
HE'S GONNA PROPOSE?

WELL, I, UM,

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH
HIS BRIEFCASE THIS AFTERNOON,

AND I FOUND THIS RING.

AND SO TONIGHT HE KEEPS PUSHING
THIS "SPECIAL DESSERT" ON ME,

SO OBVIOUSLY,
HE'S HIDDEN THE RING INSIDE.

A RING! (chuckles)

WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

18-KARAT WHITE GOLD,
10 DIAMONDS, ENGRAVED ACCENTS.

I JUST GOT A QUICK PEEK.

OH, UM...
I THINK I KNOW THAT RING.

THAT'S HIS GRANDMOTHER'S RING.
IT'S A FAMILY HEIRLOOM.

AND, YOU KNOW,

HE MIGHT JUST BE HAVING IT
CLEANED OR SOMETHING.

EXCEPT FOR ONE THING--

LYING RIGHT NEXT TO IT...

WAS A PRENUP!

OH.
WELL, KARL IS A LAWYER,

AND IT COULD JUST BE A PRENUP
FOR ANOTHER CLIENT.

BOY, JEALOUSY IS
ONE UGLY THING UP CLOSE.

OH, NO, EDIE--
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA TAKE
THE HIGH ROAD AND...

AND I'M GONNA IGNORE
YOUR NASTINESS.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING BACK TO MY TABLE

AND GETTING ENGAGED.

OHH!

(whispers) OH, HI. UM,
DO YOU SEE THAT MAN OVER THERE?

DARK HAIR, HANDSOME.

I NEED YOU TO SLIP THIS TO HIM
WITHOUT ANYBODY NOTICING.

GOD, YOU NEVER STOP.

I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT DIVORCING MY WIFE.

I'M IN THIS FOR THE SEX,

AND IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT IT,
THEN GO TO HELL.

(sighs)

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THIS DESSERT WAS SPECIAL.

WHEN YOU PUT IT
IN YOUR MOUTH AND EAT IT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WELL...

NOTHING.

CARLOS, WHAT A SURPRISE.

COME ON IN.
I THOUGHT
YOU COULD USE YOUR BAGS.

OH, YES.
THE PERFECT TIMING.

I JUST TOOK A SHOWER AND NEEDED
SOMETHING TO CHANGE INTO.

HERE, LEAVE IT HERE.
THIS IS FINE. THANK YOU.

LISTEN,
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

UM, BECAUSE I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

HMM, YEAH, SURE. SIT DOWN.
TALK AS I DRESS. (giggles)

I'LL LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN
SO I CAN HEAR.

LOOK, I WAS, UH, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT YOUR SURROGACY IDEA.

MM-HMM?

AND I THINK
IT COULD BE THE ANSWER

TO ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS.

THAT IS,
IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED.

YES! I MEAN, UH, I AM.
(giggles)

BUT I-I JUST THINK THAT
GABY WILL NEVER LET IT HAPPEN.

NO, NO. NO, SHE CAN
BE CONVINCED. I KNOW IT.

CAN YOU PLEASE, UH,
ZIP ME UP?
HUH?

MY ZIPPER! IT'S STUCK.

AHEM.

(giggles)
YOU DID THAT SO FAST.

I KNOW SOMEONE
WHO WORKS OUT.

AS I WAS SAYING, I THINK
THE SURROGACY IDEA COULD WORK.

UM...

BUT YOU AND GABY ARE GONNA
HAVE TO MEND SOME FENCES.

AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME,
WHAT IS THE POINT?

LUCIA, PLEASE, HEAR ME OUT.

THERE WAS A LOT OF STUFF
THAT GABY WENT THROUGH

WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER--

A LOT OF STUFF
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

AND I THINK THAT IF YOU WENT
TO HER AND ASKED HER ABOUT IT,

THEN THE TWO OF YOU
COULD FINALLY GET PAST IT.

WHAT STUFF ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, CARLOS?

(sighs) YOUR SECOND HUSBAND,
ALEJANDRO?

WHEN GABY WAS 15,
HE ASSAULTED HER SEXUALLY.

IS THAT WHAT SHE TOLD YOU?

LOOK, I KNOW THAT
IT COMES AS A SHOCK FOR YOU

TO BE HEARING IT FROM ME--

CARLOS, PLEASE,
I AM AWARE THEY HAD SEX.

BUT IT WAS GABRIELA
WHO SEDUCED HIM.

EXCUSE ME?

SHE WAS ALWAYS JEALOUS OF ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES
I CAUGHT HER WEARING MY SHOES,

TRYING ON MY JEWELRY...

AND I'D SCREAM AT HER TO LEAVE
MY THINGS ALONE, BUT NO,

SHE WANTED WHATEVER I HAD.

THEN ONE NIGHT,
SHE SET HER SIGHTS ON ALEJANDRO.

BELIEVE ME,
NO ONE GOT RAPED.

LUCIA,
SHE WAS ONLY 15 YEARS OLD.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF MEN
HAVE LEFT ME OVER THE YEARS,

AND I NEVER KNEW THE REASON.

BUT WHEN ALEJANDRO LEFT, I KNEW
EXACTLY WHY IT HAPPENED.

GABRIELA MADE HIM
FALL IN LOVE WITH HER.

OH, IT TOOK ME SO MANY YEARS
TO FORGIVE HER.

YOUFORGAVE HER?

BUT OF COURSE.

I COULDN'T HAVE OFFERED
TO CARRY HER BABY UNLESS I HAD.

(whispering) KARL. KARL!

COME HERE!

WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER
YOUR DAMN CELL PHONE?

I TURNED IT OFF.
WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHERE'S EDIE?
SHE'S UPSTAIRS.

SHE'S BEEN IN A PISSY MOOD EVER
SINCE WE LEFT THE RESTAURANT.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER.
SHE FOUND THE RING
AND THE PRENUP

IN YOUR BRIEFCASE.
SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA

POP THE QUESTION TONIGHT.
OH, NO.

OH, YES. YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE
FAKE MARRIAGE THING WAS OKAY

WHEN NOBODY
WAS GETTING HURT.

WHAT ARE WE DOING? IT'S A LIE!
I LOST MIKE OVER A LIE,

AND NOW I'M DOING
THE SAME THING TO DR. RON,

AND--AND LOOK AT EDIE.
SHE WAS DEVASTATED.

I DON'T THINK
I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
YOU CAN'T
CALL OFF THE WEDDING.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA PAY
FOR YOUR SURGERY?
I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I'LL JUST...
I'LL SELL THE CAR.

SUSIE, THIS IS YOUR HEALTH
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.
KARL--

NO. DR. RON
WOULD BE THE FIRST TO SAY

THAT YOU'RE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.

I'LL FIGURE OUT SOME WAY
TO HANDLE EDIE.

HOW? HOW ARE YOU
GONNA HANDLE EDIE?

THAT POOR WOMAN'S DREAMS
EXPLODED IN HER FACE TONIGHT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU CAN JUST GO OUT

AND BUY HER FLOWERS,
AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER.

THEN I'LL PROPOSE TO HER.

WELL,
THAT'S A LITTLE EXTREME.

NOT REALLY. I WAS PROBABLY
GONNA DO IT EVENTUALLY ANYHOW.

OBVIOUSLY WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO GET A DIVORCE

BEFORE I CAN ACTUALLY
MARRY HER.

BUT, UH... WHAT?

NOTHING. I JUST...

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
YOU LOVED HER LIKE THAT.

SHE'S A GREAT KID.
TOTAL PACKAGE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, SUSIE Q?
JEALOUS?

(chuckles)
NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, OKAY,
THIS IS GOOD BECAUSE...

YOU KNOW, IF THIS EXPERIENCE
HELPED YOU TO REALIZE

YOUR TRUE FEELINGS,
THEN, UH...

THEN WE DID SOMETHING
GOOD HERE.

YEAH. I THINK WE HAVE.

COME HERE. (chuckles)

(laughs) I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU THOUGHT I WAS JEALOUS.

IT'S NOT LIKE I STILL HAVE
FEELINGS FOR YOU ANYMORE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
I-I WAS JUST FOOLING AROUND.

SO? HOW DID IT GO?

FINE. I JUST DROPPED OFF
THE LUGGAGE AND LEFT.

OH.

MMM.

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

NO REASON.

HEY, I WAS THINKING...

WE SHOULD
LOOK INTO ADOPTION.

SERIOUSLY?
MM-HMM.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
A KID WITH YOUR OWN D.N.A.?

BLOOD ISN'T EVERYTHING.

MMM.

HEY!

I HEARD YA LOST
YOUR KIDS YESTERDAY.

YEAH.
(garbage can lid clanks)

IT WAS CLEARED UP.
IT WAS JUST A LITTLE CONFUSION.

UH, HELP ME OUT HERE
WITH SOMETHING.

WHAT EXACTLY IS IT
YOU LOOK FOR IN A BABY-SITTER?

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, I MAY BE ANCIENT,
LIKE YOU SAY,

BUT I'VE NEVER GOTTEN DRUNK
AND LOST TRACK OF THREE KIDS.

WHAT?

I SMELLED WINE
ON BREE VAN DE KAMP

WHEN SHE WAS LOOKING
FOR YOUR BOYS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IS IT?

YESTERDAY I FOUND HER PASSED OUT
ON HER FRONT LAWN,

DRUNK AS A SKUNK.
I'VE KNOWN BREE
FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

THERE'S NO WAY SHE WAS DRINKING
WHILE BABY-SITTING MY KIDS.

SO... JUST GO SPREAD YOUR POISON
SOMEWHERE ELSE. OKAY?
(metal clanks)

I JUST THOUGHT I'D DO YOU
A FAVOR AND LET YOU KNOW,

THAT'S ALL.

OKAY, WELL, THANKS.

HI.

YOU, UM, YOU RECOVERED FROM
ALL OF YESTERDAY'S EXCITEMENT?

OH, TRUTHFULLY, I HAVEN'T BEEN
ABLE TO GET MY MIND OFF IT.

WHAT A SCARE, HUH?

YEAH, ALTHOUGH
I-I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT

HOW MY BOYS
MANAGED TO SNEAK PAST YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW BOYS ARE AT THE AGE.

THEY'RE ESCAPE ARTISTS.

THEY'RE LIKE LIGHTNING.

IT'S JUST, PENNY...

PENNY?

WELL, I MEAN,
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

HOW PORTER AND PRESTON MANAGED
TO WRANGLE HER INTO THE STROLLER

AND THEN MAKE IT OUT
YOUR FRONT DOOR

WITHOUT
YOU EVEN NOTICING.

(bottles clanking)

I GUESS
IF YOU'D FALLEN ASLEEP...

IT COULD'VE HAPPENED
LIKE THAT, I-I GUESS.

YOU KNOW, I THINK, UM,

I MUST HAVE BEEN CLEANING
THE KITCHEN,

AND I-I JUST
DIDN'T HEAR THEM

BECAUSE OF THE NOISE
FROM THE DISHWASHER.

LOOK, I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE
FOR HOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND,

BUT I HAVE TO ASK. IT'S JUST
GONNA EAT AWAY AT ME.

WERE YOU DRINKING
WHILE BABY-SITTING MY KIDS?

NO!

OH...

YOU KNOW, I MAY HAVE HAD

JUST THE TINIEST LITTLE BIT
OF CHARDONNAY.

OH, GOSH, YOU GOT DRUNK,
AND YOU PASSED OUT.

LYNETTE, IF I CLOSE MY EYES
EVEN FOR A MOMENT,

IT'S BECAUSE OF THESE
ANTIHISTAMINES I'VE BEEN TAKING.

REALLY?

IS THAT WHY YOU PASSED OUT
ON YOUR FRONT LAWN

YESTERDAY MORNING?

NOW THAT YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME
IN A FAIRLY ACCUSATORY TONE,

MAY I REMIND YOU THAT
I WAS DOING YOU A FAVOR?

YOU PUT MY KIDS IN DANGER,
AND THEN YOU LIED ABOUT IT.

DO YOU NOT GET
HOW BIG THAT IS?

DO YOU HAVE SOME
KIND OF PROBLEM WITH ALCOHOL?

NO! THE ONLY PROBLEM I HAVE
IS WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

THEY'RE INCORRIGIBLE
BECAUSE YOU LET THEM RUN AMOK.

AND IF I HADN'T
DRIFTED OFF,

THEY WOULD HAVE WAITED
UNTIL I WAS IN THE BATHROOM

OR STUCK ON THE PHONE
OR UPSTAIRS DOING LAUNDRY.

ON ANY GIVEN DAY,

HOW MANY GLASSES OF WINE
DO YOU PUT AWAY?

I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO
LIKE THAT.

I JUST WON'T.

(sighs)

(bottles clanking)

NOW AND THEN,
WE ALLNEED A LITTLE HELP...

SO WE ASK FOR SMALL FAVORS.

THANKS. I OWE YOU ONE.

BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEST

TO BE WARY OF THOSE EAGER
TO COME TO OUR RESCUE.

WELL, GO ON.
KISS THE BRIDE.

(chuckles)

BECAUSE EVEN THE SMALLEST
OF FAVORS...

SURE THING, TOM. I'D BE HAPPY
TO BABY-SIT FOR YOU.

MY, HAVE YOU NOTICED
HOW CLOGGED MY RAIN GUTTERS ARE?

...CARRIES A PRICE TAG.

YES, EVERYONE HAS AN AGENDA.

I HEARD ABOUT YOUR OPERATION,
AUNT INEZ,

AND I'M JUMPING
ON A PLANE RIGHT NOW

TO COME AND HELP YOU OUT.

NO MATTER WHAT
THEY MAY TELL US.

NO, I'M HAPPY TO,

AND I'M PREPARED TO STAY
AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

AND IN THOSE RARE INSTANCES

WHERE THERE IS
NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE,

WE'RE SO TAKEN ABACK

THAT WE MAY FAIL
TO RECOGNIZE THE TRUTH...

THAT A LOVING FRIEND HAS JUST
DONE US AN ENORMOUS FAVOR.