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1
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,233
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:15,567
YOUR SPLEEN HAS WANDERED
CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.
3
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,067
WE GOTTA TAKE IT OUT.
4
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,433
GET YOUR INSURANCE
FIGURED OUT BY THEN, HMM?
5
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,567
THERE WAS THE BAD NEWS...
THERE'S A COP
I WANT YOU TO TALK TO.
6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,600
HIS NAME IS SULLIVAN.
THE FILE
ON NOAH'S DAUGHTER.
7
00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:25,600
THE DISCOMFORTING NEWS...
8
00:00:25,633 --> 00:00:27,633
THANKS.
9
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:29,567
ARE YOU HIDING SOMEONE
IN YOUR HOUSE?
10
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,767
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.
I'LL UNDERSTAND.
OKAY.
11
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,700
AND THE NEWS
NO ONE SHOULD KNOW...
12
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,667
BUT YOU TELL ME
YOURS FIRST.
13
00:00:38,467 --> 00:00:39,833
(Mary Alice) ONCE A MONTH,
14
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,767
THE CRèME DE LA CRME
OF FAIRVIEW SOCIETY
15
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,467
WOULD ATTEND
A SEMIFORMAL LUNCHEON
16
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,700
AT THE HOME
OF MAXINE BENNETT.
17
00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:49,800
EVERYONE LOVED
THESE ELEGANT GET-TOGETHERS--
18
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:51,467
EVERYONE, THAT IS,
19
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,400
BUT A CERTAIN
REDHEADED HOUSEWIFE
20
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:56,800
WHO WAS CONVINCED
MAXINE WAS A LIAR.
21
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,733
YOU SEE,
MAXINE LIKED TO BRAG
22
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,200
THAT SHE DID
ALL HER OWN COOKING.
23
00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:05,400
AND BECAUSE EACH COURSE
WAS SERVED PROMPTLY...
24
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,700
PRESENTED WITH FLAIR...
25
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,633
(woman) IT'S DELICIOUS.
26
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:12,600
AND WAS
POSITIVELY MOUTHWATERING,
27
00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:15,433
BREE KNEW MAXINE HAD
HAD SOME HELP.
28
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:17,367
(laughing)
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
29
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,300
AND SADLY FOR MAXINE,
30
00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:22,367
BREE INTENDED TO PROVE IT.
31
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,600
MAXINE, ONCE AGAIN,
THIS ENTIRE LUNCH
32
00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:26,833
WAS JUST
OUT OF THIS WORLD.
(Maxine chuckles)
33
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,800
I JUST HAVE TO GET
THE NUMBER OF YOUR CATERER.
34
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,300
WHAT A NICE COMPLIMENT.
35
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:32,667
NO, I'M AFRAID
THIS IS ALL MY DOING.
36
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,633
IT WAS A TRIUMPH,
AN ABSOLUTE TRIUMPH.
37
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,533
OH, COME ON. DO YOU HONESTLY
EXPECT US TO BELIEVE
38
00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:40,400
THAT YOU HAD THE TIME TO PREPARE
A 6-COURSE MEAL FOR 10 WOMEN?
39
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,633
EVEN I COULDN'T MAKE THIS
40
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,733
AND HAVE TIME
TO GET READY FOR A PARTY.
41
00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:47,533
WELL, PERHAPS YOU'RE JUST NOT
AS ORGANIZED AS I AM.
42
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,067
(chuckles)
43
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:50,600
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
44
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,100
BREE!
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?
45
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,667
I HAVE THE SAME RECIPE
FOR ENGLISH PLUM PUDDING.
46
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,767
IT TAKES SIX HOURS
TO PREPARE.
47
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,700
HOW WOULD SHE HAVE TIME
TO MAKE ALL OF THIS
48
00:02:00,733 --> 00:02:02,500
AND EVERYTHING ELSE
THAT WE ATE TODAY?
49
00:02:02,533 --> 00:02:05,367
THIS IS NOT THE PUDDING
OF AN HONEST WOMAN.
50
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,333
(pounding on door)
(man) FBI! OPEN UP!
51
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:09,433
(Tish) WHAT ON EARTH?
52
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:12,300
(pounding continues)
53
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,400
(women murmuring)
54
00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:18,333
WE'RE LOOKING
FOR A MAXINE BENNETT.
55
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:21,167
I'M MAXINE.
WE HAVE A WARRANT TO SEARCH
THE PREMISES, MA'AM.
56
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,633
A WARRANT?
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LUNCHEON.
57
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,800
(man) OVER HERE.
58
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,067
FOUND HER.
59
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,267
(woman) WHAT?!
60
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,300
MAXINE BENNETT,
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
61
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,733
FOR INVOLUNTARY SERVITUDE.
62
00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:37,667
IS THIS THE WOMAN
WHO LOCKED YOU UP?
63
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,833
(speaking Chinese)
64
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:43,767
(shouting Chinese)
65
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,667
BREE, WHAT'S GOING ON?
66
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:55,267
WELL, I'M NOT SURE,
BUT I THINK MAXINE HAD A SLAVE.
67
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,667
(gasps) I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
68
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,300
BUT BREE COULD.
69
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:04,233
YOU SEE, FOR HER,
70
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,067
THE PROOF
WAS IN THE PUDDING.
71
00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:17,367
THE WORLD IS FILLED
WITH UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIPS,
72
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,200
ODD PAIRINGS,
THAT TO THE CASUAL OBSERVER,
73
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:25,100
MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE
AT ALL.
74
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,400
BUT IF WE LOOK CLOSER,
75
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:31,100
WE CAN SEE WHY
THESE ALLIANCES FORM.
76
00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,067
AFTER ALL, A SHARED PURPOSE
77
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:37,600
CAN GIVE EVEN MORTAL ENEMIES
COMMON GROUND.
78
00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,533
(Susan) BREE?
WE HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.
79
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,100
OH! WHAT IS IT?
80
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,067
WELL, WE WERE JUST
WONDERING--
81
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,200
ACTUALLY, WE WERE CURIOUS
ABOUT, UM...
82
00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:48,667
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON
WITH YOU AND BETTY APPLEWHITE?
YEAH, THAT.
83
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,067
EXCUSE ME?
84
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,833
WELL, FROM THE DAY
THAT DEAD BODY SHOWED UP,
85
00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:54,200
NOBODY WAS YELLING, "OH,
THE APPLEWHITES ARE INVOLVED!"
86
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,733
LOUDER THAN YOU.
87
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,367
AND THE NEXT THING
WE KNOW,
88
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,067
YOU'RE HAVING BETTY OVER
FOR POKER. WHAT GIVES?
89
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:02,733
SHE MAKES IT SOUND LIKE WE'RE
ANGRY, AND WE'RE NOT ANGRY.
I'M A LITTLE ANGRY.
90
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:05,533
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?
I-I HAVE ICE CREAM IN HERE.
91
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,833
BREE, COULD THIS FLIP-FLOP HAVE
SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT
92
00:04:07,867 --> 00:04:10,233
THAT DANIELLE
IS DATING MATTHEW?
93
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:12,133
(lowers voice)
I KNEW THAT WOULD GET HER.
94
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,100
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
95
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:17,133
MRS. McCLUSKY. SHE SAW THEM
MAKING OUT IN THE PARK.
EDIE!
96
00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,267
WHAT?
CAN'T YOU SUGARCOAT IT
A LITTLE?
97
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,267
I DID.
98
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,333
(lowers voice) HE HAD HIS HAND
DOWN HER SHIRT.
99
00:04:23,367 --> 00:04:25,533
(sighs) BREE, WE KNOW
THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON
100
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,467
FOR WANTING BETTY
TO HANG OUT WITH US.
101
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,467
WE JUST... WONDERED IF YOU
COULD CLUE US IN A LITTLE.
102
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,400
WHEN IT COMES
TO BETTY APPLEWHITE,
103
00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:33,767
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING,
104
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,267
AND YOU TWO ARE JUST
GONNA HAVE TO TRUST ME.
105
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,500
AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT,
106
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,833
THEN PERHAPS I'VE OVERESTIMATED
THE DEPTH OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
107
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:42,400
NOW,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...
108
00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:44,300
WHAT A BITCH.
109
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,333
EDIE, CAN YOU--
110
00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:48,067
I WAS SUGARCOATING IT.
111
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:54,367
(telephone rings)
112
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,733
(mumbling)
113
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:57,367
HEY.
114
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,233
(gasps) OH!
HI.
115
00:04:58,267 --> 00:05:01,067
(chuckles)
HEY, NONE OF THAT IN HERE.
116
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,233
COME ON. MAYBE IF WE REMIND ED
THAT I'M SHACKING UP
117
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:05,833
WITH THE SENIOR V.P., HE'LL STOP
KILLING ALL MY PITCHES.
118
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:07,800
YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE
A WEEK.
119
00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:10,700
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE YOURSELF
A BREAK?
HONEY, YOU KNOW
THE AD GAME.
120
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,267
I'VE ONLY GOT A CERTAIN AMOUNT
OF TIME TO MAKE MY MARK
121
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:15,200
BEFORE HE KICKS ME
TO THE CURB.
122
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,467
LOOK, I'M JUST ASKING YOU...
JUMP IN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
123
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,367
THROW ME SOME ROPE, YOU KNOW,
WHEN ED'S ON THE WARPATH.
I CAN'T PROTECT YOU.
124
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,167
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO CLICK WITH ED YOURSELF.
125
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,067
AND THEN THE PIG--HE RUBS HIS
STOMACH AND HE GOES... (snorts)
126
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,833
(Southern accent)
"FARM FRESH BACON
127
00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:30,233
WILL MAKE A PIGGY OUT OF YOU,
TOO."
128
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:33,067
(Lynette chuckles)
129
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,833
SO...
130
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,600
THE PIG ACTUALLY EATS
THE BACON?
131
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:42,433
UH-HUH, YEAH.
I DON'T SEE THE CLIENT
DOING A HAPPY DANCE
132
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,067
OVER THE WHOLE
CANNIBALISM THEME.
133
00:05:46,767 --> 00:05:49,200
WELL, TOM, WHY DON'T
YOU PITCH HIM THE OTHER IDEA
134
00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:52,533
YOU CAME UP WITH LAST NIGHT?
YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE
135
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:55,200
PEOPLE LOVE BACON SO MUCH
THEY WANNA KEEP IT A SECRET?
136
00:05:55,233 --> 00:05:57,067
WHAT, LIKE A SECRET UNDERGROUND
SOCIETY OF BACON EATERS?
137
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:59,067
MORE LIKE MY COLLEGE FRATERNITY,
WHERE, YOU KNOW,
138
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:02,200
EVERYBODY WANTED IN, BUT WE ONLY
TOOK THE COOLEST GUYS.
139
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,467
WAIT, YOU WERE GREEK?
140
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,567
YEAH, ALPHA TAU OMEGA.
141
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,300
I WAS PHI KAPP.
(laughs) YOU?
142
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:11,133
AND I DON'T REMEMBER YOU HAVING
TO BE THAT COOL TO PLEDGE A.T.O.
143
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:14,200
LOOK, IF I HAD A NICKEL
FOR EVERY PHI KAPP
144
00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:16,800
THAT I TIED NAKED
TO A FREEWAY SIGN...
145
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,433
SCAVO, IF YOU WERE MY PLEDGE,
I'D HAVE MADE YOU MY BITCH.
OH, YOU THINK SO?
146
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:22,800
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M LIKING
THIS WHOLE FRATERNITY ANGLE.
147
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:27,433
YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S TALK ABOUT IT OVER LUNCH.
148
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:29,700
YOU'RE BUYING.
149
00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:33,067
GO.
150
00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:37,433
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
151
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,067
(engine roars)
152
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:46,100
HELLO. WHAT'S GOING ON?
153
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:48,567
GABRIELLE,
I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.
154
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,467
THIS IS XIAO-MEI.
155
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,400
SHE'S THE YOUNG LADY
WHO WAS FORCED TO WORK
156
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,600
FOR MAXINE BENNETT.
OH, THE SLAVE.
157
00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:58,167
WOW. LOOKS WELL-FED.
158
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,133
THE CHURCH
IS MAKING ARRANGEMENTS
159
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:02,067
FOR HER TO RETURN TO CHINA.
160
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,100
BUT UNTIL THEN,
SHE NEEDS A PLACE TO STAY.
161
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:05,433
SO I OFFERED UP
OUR GUEST ROOM.
162
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,767
REALLY?
163
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,700
(chuckles) BABY, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
164
00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:13,133
AHEM.
165
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,600
ARE YOU NUTS?!
166
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,767
IT'S ONLY
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
OH, THIS TIME.
167
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,300
YOU ARE QUICKLY BECOMING
168
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,300
FATHER CROWLEY'S GO-TO GUY
FOR CHARITY CASES.
169
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:22,400
AND THAT'S A BAD THING?
WHEN HE TURNS OUR HOUSE
170
00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:24,567
INTO A CATHOLIC
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, YES!
171
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,467
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, GABY?
YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON
172
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,367
WHO WOULD'VE TURNED AWAY
MARY AND JOSEPH FROM THE INN.
173
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,733
WELL, THEY SHOULD'VE
CALLED AHEAD.
174
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,600
(car door opens)
175
00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:37,100
(engine starts)
176
00:07:40,433 --> 00:07:42,533
DON'T BRUSH YOUR HAIR
AT THE TABLE.
177
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:44,600
OH, YOU'RE TALKING TO ME?
178
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,533
DOES THIS MEAN
YOU'VE FINALLY FORGIVEN ME?
179
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,167
WHY SHOULD I?
180
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,100
YOU BETRAYED THIS FAMILY,
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN SORRY.
181
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,833
DON'T BE SUCH
A DRAMA QUEEN.
182
00:07:51,867 --> 00:07:53,500
IF THE APPLEWHITES
GO TO THE POLICE
183
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:57,100
AND TELL THEM THAT YOUR BROTHER
RAN OVER MRS. SOLIS,
184
00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:59,233
HE COULD GO TO PRISON.
185
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,167
HOW CAN YOU NOT
UNDERSTAND THAT?
186
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,500
THEY WON'T TALK
ABOUT ANDREW
187
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:05,100
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T GO
TO THE POLICE ABOUT CALEB.
188
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,067
WHAT DID THIS CALEB DO,
EXACTLY?
189
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,233
AND WHY ON EARTH
ARE THEY HIDING HIM?
190
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:11,167
WHY DON'T YOU GO
TO MRS. APPLEWHITE
191
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,133
AND TELL HER YOU REALLY NEED
TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?
192
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,533
I BET IF YOU WERE REALLY NICE,
SHE'D TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
193
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,067
IS THAT WHAT
YOU REALLY THINK, DANIELLE?
194
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:21,633
I SHOULD GO
TO MRS. APPLEWHITE, BE NICE,
195
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,767
AND THEN SHE'LL HAND OVER
ALL HER SECRETS?
196
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,567
YEAH.
197
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:31,367
WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MY STEPMOTHER
TOLD ME THAT I WAS VERY LUCKY.
198
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:36,367
I POSSESSED BEAUTY,
WIT, CUNNING AND INSIGHT.
199
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:41,067
THESE WERE WEAPONS ALL WOMEN
NEEDED TO SURVIVE IN THE WORLD.
200
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,767
SO?
201
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,400
SO TAKE GOOD CARE
OF YOUR LOOKS, DANIELLE.
202
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:47,767
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER WEAPONS
AT YOUR DISPOSAL.
203
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,800
(knocking continues)
204
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:57,567
HI. I NEED AN OPERATION
ON MY SPLEEN,
205
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,200
AND I JUST FOUND OUT
I DON'T HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE.
206
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,533
IS THERE ANYONE I CAN SUE?
207
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:05,467
AFTER THE EMBEZZLEMENT,
LONNY LET THE POLICY LAPSE.
208
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,833
AND NOW HE'S IN JAIL,
AND I'M GONNA DIE.
209
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:09,367
SUSIE,
YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE.
210
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,200
I'LL GET INTO IT
WITH THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
211
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:14,500
NO, THERE ISN'T TIME FOR YOU
TO DEAL WITH THE RED TAPE.
212
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:17,100
MY SPLEEN IS GOING CAREENING
INTO MY HEART.
213
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:20,567
I NEED THAT OPERATION NOW.
YEAH, I'D LOAN YOU
THE MONEY MYSELF,
214
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,567
BUT EDIE AND I JUST
PLOPPED DOWN OUR SAVINGS
215
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,133
IN A SKI CONDO AND...
216
00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:27,433
I DON'T NEED A LOAN.
I NEED COVERAGE.
217
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,833
I MEAN, WHAT IF THERE
ARE COMPLICATIONS?
218
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,767
I DON'T HAVE
A SAFETY NET.
219
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,133
OH, MY GOD, PLEASE!
220
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:36,567
WHAT IN THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
221
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,200
I'M SAYING
A LITTLE PRAYER.
222
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:39,433
OH, FOR PUKE'S SAKE...
223
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:42,467
WELL, WHAT? I'M DESPERATE HERE.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS?
224
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,733
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO.
225
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:46,667
WHAT YOU NEED IS A HUSBAND.
226
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,233
(scoffs) WHAT?
227
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:50,433
THE ONLY WAY
TO GET A GOOD HEALTH PLAN
228
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,133
IS TO MARRY INTO ONE.
229
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:54,200
EDIE, COME ON.
230
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,133
NO, NO, I THINK
SHE'S ONTO SOMETHING.
231
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:59,100
YEAH. IF WE FIND A GUY
WITH THE RIGHT PLAN,
232
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,567
YOU COULD HAVE A SHAM WEDDING
ON A MONDAY NIGHT
233
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,533
AND BE FULLY COVERED
TUESDAY MORNING.
234
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:06,367
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
ACTUALLY CONSIDERING THIS.
235
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,533
THE SURGEON IS SLICING ME OPEN
A WEEK FROM TOMORROW.
236
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:11,133
WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE?
237
00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:14,300
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND A GUY
WHO'S WILLING TO MARRY YOU.
238
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,733
YOU KNOW,
COME TO THINK OF IT,
239
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:22,733
A LITTLE PRAYER MIGHT NOT BE
SUCH A BAD IDEA AFTER ALL.
240
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,700
PAT, WE'RE ALL HERE,
241
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:34,200
SO SEND THE CALL IN
AS SOON AS YOU GET IT.
242
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,333
200 BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN'T DO THAT
3 TIMES IN A ROW.
243
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:42,367
HUH?
244
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,567
YOU CATCH
THREE OF THOSE...
245
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,033
200 BUCKS.
246
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:47,833
WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE,
SCAVO?
247
00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:50,767
YOU'RE ON.
(chuckles)
248
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,633
HERE WE GO.
AH-AH-AH-AH!
249
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,333
THROWN BY ME.
250
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,267
I'M SORRY,
I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE
251
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,800
TO TALK ABOUT
THE FARM FRESH ROLLOUT?
252
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:02,333
THEY GOTTA BE CATCHABLE,
BIG GUY.
YOU JUST LET ME WORRY
ABOUT THE SHOOTING.
253
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,333
COME ON.
254
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,667
(chuckles)
THAT'S ONE.
255
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:08,667
GUYS...
256
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,833
OH!
257
00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:13,133
NICE MOVES.
258
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,100
ONE MORE, BIG GUY.
GUYS, PLEASE...
259
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,600
THAT'S--ALL RIGHT.
260
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,567
OW!
261
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,067
(woman) OH!
(laughter)
262
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,367
OW.
(Ed laughing)
263
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,067
THAT WASN'T EVEN CATCHABLE!
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE NOT.
264
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,533
BUT IT'S TOTALLY WORTH
THE 200 BUCKS.
AHH!
265
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:29,500
WHOO!
266
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:31,433
WELL, YOU GOT ME.
267
00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:33,367
YOU'RE A REGULAR
LITTLE MONKEY MAN!
268
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,333
OH, I LOVE THIS GUY.
269
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:44,100
OH. HI.
270
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,400
DO YOU HAVE TO SIT AROUND
ALL DAY?
271
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:50,333
I MEAN,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE OUT
272
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:51,533
EXPERIENCING
WESTERN CIVILIZATION
273
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:54,200
WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE?
(sighs)
274
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:56,533
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
275
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:57,600
I FIX.
276
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,267
NO, THIS IS COUTURE!
277
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,833
THIS RIP HAS TO BE FIXED
BY AN EXPERIENCED TAILOR.
278
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:03,400
YOU CAN'T JUST...
279
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,633
HOLY CRAP!
THIS STITCHING IS PERFECT!
280
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,600
HUNGRY?
281
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,067
DID YOU MAKE ALL OF THIS?
282
00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:18,433
OH!
283
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:21,633
FOR ME? OKAY.
284
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,100
OH, MY GOD!
285
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:28,667
YOU LIKE?
286
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,367
I LIKE A LOT.
287
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,667
(moaning)
288
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,600
YOU LIKE THAT?
289
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:47,800
(bored voice)
YEAH, THAT'S NICE.
290
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,133
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO
TO PEOPLE IN CHINA
291
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:52,067
WHO SPEAK OUT AGAINST
THE GOVERNMENT?
HMM?
292
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,833
THEY PUT THEM
IN FORCED LABOR CAMPS.
293
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,500
ISN'T THAT AWFUL?
294
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:56,633
MM-HMM.
295
00:12:56,667 --> 00:13:00,100
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S SUCH A REPRESSIVE REGIME.
296
00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:02,067
WE FORGET
HOW GOOD WE HAVE IT.
297
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:04,400
YES, WE DO.
298
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:06,200
DON'T YOU THINK XIAO-MEI
299
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,533
WOULD LIKE IT BETTER HERE
IN AMERICA?
300
00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,467
I MEAN,
WHERE SHE COULD LEARN
301
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,733
ABOUT FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY
AND STUFF?
302
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:15,667
DOES THIS HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO
303
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,667
WITH YOU MAKING XIAO-MEI
DO HOUSEWORK?
304
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:20,133
WHAT?
I CAME DOWNSTAIRS THIS MORNING
AND FOUND HER WAXING THE FLOOR.
305
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,767
SHE TOLD ME YOU ASKED HER
TO PUT ON TWO COATS.
306
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,533
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
THAT WAS HER IDEA.
307
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:27,467
SECOND OF ALL,
I CAN'T HAVE THIS CONVERSATION
308
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,267
UNTIL YOU'VE TASTED
HER CRAB PUFFS.
OH...
309
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,300
HMM.
MMM.
310
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,733
SHE JUST GOT DONE
BEING A SLAVE.
311
00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:39,733
I MEAN, SHE WANTS
TO GO BACK TO CHINA...
312
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,667
AND WE CAN'T FORCE HER
TO STAY HERE AND BE OUR MAID.
313
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,233
WELL, WHO'S FORCING HER?
314
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:45,167
WE'LL PAY HER
WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
315
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,600
AND THE BEST PART IS,
WITH HER RéSUMé,
316
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:49,533
ANY WAGE WILL LOOK GOOD.
317
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,233
NO WAY, BABY. MNH-MNH.
318
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:53,367
HMM.
319
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,600
WHAT?
320
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,067
WHAT?
321
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,233
WHAT, SO YOU DON'T GET
WHAT YOU WANT,
322
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:01,167
YOU JUST WALK OFF
AND POUT?
323
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,167
OH, THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.
THIS IS ABOUT OUR GREAT NATION.
324
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,567
AND I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF SEXUALLY SATISFYING A MAN
325
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,500
WHO ISN'T WILLING
TO STAND UP FOR
326
00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:10,433
AND HELP SPREAD
THE IDEALS AND VALUES
327
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:12,433
OF THE UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA.
328
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,700
AND SOMETIMES SHE IS
A LITTLE HARD TO STOMACH,
329
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,633
BUT SHE MEANS WELL.
WELL, THAT'S--
330
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,567
HI!
OH, HERE SHE IS.
331
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,067
I CAME AS SOON AS I GOT
YOUR MESSAGE. IS THIS...
332
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,733
THIS IS GARY GRANTHAM,
YOUR FUTURE EX-HUSBAND.
333
00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:28,167
WOW, NICE TO MEET YOU.
HI.
334
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,100
OKAY, LISTEN, UM,
I'VE GOT TO MEET A CLIENT.
335
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:32,067
I'VE GOT TO GO,
SO JUST TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES,
336
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,800
AND YOU TWO MAKE
A VERY HANDSOME COUPLE.
337
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,800
OH. (laughing)
338
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,700
YEAH.
339
00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:41,367
UH, HI.
(chuckles) HI.
340
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,300
SO DO YOU WANNA
GET MARRIED ON WEDNESDAY?
341
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,633
'CAUSE THURSDAY AND FRIDAY
I'M OUT OF TOWN.
342
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,567
OH! OH, YEAH. SURE, THAT'S--
WEDNESDAY'S GREAT.
343
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,767
I'M--I'M JUST CURIOUS...
344
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,300
HOW DID EDIE CONVINCE YOU
TO DO THIS SO QUICKLY?
345
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,133
WELL, SHE EXPLAINED
YOUR SITUATION TO ME.
346
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,800
I'M SORT OF IN NEED
OF A FAKE BRIDE MYSELF,
347
00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:58,733
SO I FIGURED,
WHAT THE HECK?
348
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,567
WHY WOULD YOU NEED
A FAKE BRIDE?
349
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,533
UH, I'M GAY, AND I'VE NEVER
COME OUT TO MY MOTHER.
350
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:04,600
REALLY?
351
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:07,133
YEAH. AT FIRST, I JUST
DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET HER.
352
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,467
THEN SHE GOT OLDER, SHE GOT
EMPHYSEMA AND DIVERTICULITIS,
353
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,067
AND I STARTED THINKING,
IF I JUST KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT,
354
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:13,800
THEN ONE DAY NATURE
WOULD TAKE ITS COURSE
355
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:17,600
AND WE COULD AVOID WHAT IS SURE
TO BE A VERY UGLY SCENE.
356
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,067
SO WHAT CHANGED?
357
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:21,767
SHE TOLD ME AT HER
81st BIRTHDAY PARTY LAST MONTH,
358
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,367
THE ONLY REASON SHE'S HANGING ON
IS TO SEE ME GET MARRIED.
359
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,300
OH. OH,
SO BY MARRYING ME...
360
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:31,167
YEAH, I'D GET MY INHERITANCE
THAT MUCH SOONER.
361
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,367
NO, BUT MOSTLY,
I WANNA MAKE SURE SHE'S HAPPY.
362
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,767
MM-HMM. (chuckles)
363
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:39,633
WELL, YOU SEEM
VERY NICE, SUSAN.
364
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:42,100
UH, IT WILL BE A PLEASURE
BEING MARRIED TO YOU.
365
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,167
UH, LIKEWISE.
(chuckles)
366
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,500
HERE, YOU CAN FINISH
THE REST OF THE FRIES.
367
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,133
HERE'S YOUR MAIL
AND YOUR PILLS.
368
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:59,800
UGH. MORE PILLS?
369
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,533
MISS TILLMAN?
370
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:09,567
HMM?
371
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,333
WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?
372
00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:15,333
I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS IN WITH YOUR OTHER MAIL.
373
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,133
GET ME THE PHONE.
374
00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:31,533
SULLIVAN, IT'S ME.
375
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:34,433
I JUST GOT SOME NEWS,
AND I NEED TO GET YOU INVOLVED.
376
00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:39,067
LOOKS LIKE DELFINO'S
BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME.
377
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:47,333
THE NEXT MORNING,
BREE CAME UP WITH A PLAN
378
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:50,067
TO GET TO THE TRUTH
SHE SO DESPERATELY NEEDED.
379
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,800
AS SHE WATCHED THE APPLEWHITES
LEAVE THEIR HOUSE,
380
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:55,100
SHE THOUGHT OF HOW MUCH
381
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,633
SHE HAD TRUSTED
THE PREVIOUS OWNERS
382
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,333
AND HOW MUCH THEY...
383
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:02,067
HAD TRUSTED HER.
384
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,733
(key turning in lock)
385
00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:21,800
(creak)
386
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,233
CALEB? IS THAT YOU?
387
00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:31,067
(exhales) HI.
388
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:34,567
I'M BREE.
I LIVE DOWN THE STREET.
389
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,733
I'M A FRIEND
OF YOUR MOTHER'S.
390
00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:38,633
SHE'S NOT HOME.
391
00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:41,200
I KNOW. UM...
392
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:43,133
I CAME TO SEE YOU.
393
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,067
ME?
394
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,800
YES. YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
ALL ABOUT YOU AND I THOUGHT IT--
395
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:52,433
IT MIGHT BE NICE IF, UM,
WE HAD A LITTLE VISIT.
396
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,667
I BROUGHT YOU
SOME HOMEMADE COBBLER.
397
00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:01,400
(cheering and clapping)
398
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,067
(Tom)
* OH, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA
399
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,533
RIGHT HERE.
FOLLOW THE DOUGHNUT, PEOPLE.
400
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,100
HERE WE GO. WE GOT SOME PEOPLE.
COME ON, COME ON.
401
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,667
HEY, HEY--
HUH?
402
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:10,800
WHAT'S GOING ON?
403
00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:13,233
WELL, UM, ED BET TOM THAT
HE WOULDN'T EAT A DOUGHNUT
404
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:15,167
OUT OF THE TOILET.
405
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,367
ISN'T IT DISGUSTING?
(giggles)
406
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,367
UNH-UNH!
407
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,333
HUH?
408
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,733
IT'S GOTTA
BE FULLY DUNKED.
409
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,167
NOW, I DON'T WANT THE GLAZE
TO REPEL THE WATER.
410
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,600
WHOA, SLIGHT DELAY, PEOPLE.
I'M REQUESTING A SCRUB DOWN.
411
00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:29,833
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE
THEY KEEP THE TOILET BRUSH?
412
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:32,733
JUST FOR ONE SECOND, OKAY?
JUST FOR ONE SECOND.
413
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:35,267
HEY, I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D HAVE TO ASK YOU THIS,
414
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:38,167
BUT ARE YOU ABOUT TO EAT
A DOUGHNUT OUT OF THE TOILET?
YEAH!
415
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,400
FOR THE GALVESTON JEWELERS
ACCOUNT.
416
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:42,433
I DON'T CARE!
YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THIS!
LOOK, LYNETTE,
417
00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:45,333
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME
TO FIND A WAY TO CLICK WITH ED.
418
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,467
WELL, NOW WE'VE GOT OUR THING,
AND IT'S PAYING OFF FOR ME!
419
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,500
THAT'S BECAUSE ED GETS OFF
ON HUMILIATING YOU.
420
00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:52,067
PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS!
421
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:54,267
WE'RE WAITING, SCAVO!
422
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,800
(crowd) TOM, TOM, TOM!
423
00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:58,333
(Ed) OKAY, OKAY, WHAT NOW?
424
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:00,067
THIS IS MY MOMENT.
425
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,833
(cheering and clapping)
426
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:07,800
SO, CALEB,
BESIDES YOUR MOTHER AND BROTHER,
427
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:11,200
DOES ANYBODY ELSE
KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE?
428
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,100
NO.
429
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:16,400
YOU'RE PRETTY.
430
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:18,067
(chuckles)
431
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,767
THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY SWEET.
432
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,333
SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING
THIS WHOLE TIME? UPSTAIRS?
433
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:26,167
NO.
434
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,833
I JUST MOVED UPSTAIRS.
435
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,400
MY ROOM'S DOWNSTAIRS.
436
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:30,633
DOWNSTAIRS?
437
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:33,767
IN THE BASEMENT.
438
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,767
YOU WANNA SEE IT?
439
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,067
CALEB, HAVE YOU BEEN DOWN HERE
ALL THESE MONTHS?
440
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,833
YEAH.
441
00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:08,300
DID YOUR MOTHER
MAKE YOU WEAR THOSE?
442
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,633
MOST OF THE TIME.
443
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:14,567
OH, MY GOD!
444
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,400
SWEETHEART,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
445
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:20,333
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD
YOUR MOTHER TREAT YOU THAT WAY?
446
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:24,500
I HURT A GIRL.
447
00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:26,333
A GIRL?
448
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,000
YEAH.
449
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:35,600
AND THEN SHE DIED.
450
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:37,600
OH.
451
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:41,767
HER NAME WAS MELANIE.
452
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,667
SHE WAS PRETTY.
453
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,600
JUST LIKE YOU.
454
00:20:57,767 --> 00:20:59,433
HI.
455
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,167
I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW,
I'M GETTING MARRIED.
456
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,667
TO THE DOCTOR?
457
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,067
NO! NO. HA!
458
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:14,067
NO, TO--TO A GAY GUY.
459
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,433
HOW DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE DOCTOR?
460
00:21:16,467 --> 00:21:19,667
PEOPLE TALK. SO YOU--
YOU'RE MARRYING A GAY GUY?
461
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:20,733
I NEED HEALTH INSURANCE,
462
00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:23,067
UM, 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
THIS WANDERING SPLEEN AND...
463
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:24,500
(chuckles)
THAT SOUNDS FUNNY,
464
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,367
"SPLEEN WANDERING," BUT...
465
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,267
ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT FUNNY 'CAUSE
IT CAN BANG INTO THINGS...
466
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:32,267
SO I NEED HEALTH INSURANCE,
SO I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
467
00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:34,200
AND YOU PROBABLY THINK
I'M CRAZY, RIGHT?
468
00:21:34,233 --> 00:21:37,067
WELL... CAN IT WAIT?
469
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,167
UM, THE SURGERY?
470
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,700
NO. IT CAN'T WAIT.
471
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:42,533
(car approaches)
472
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,767
I GUESS IT'S REALLY
NOT THAT CRAZY.
473
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,167
(car door slams)
474
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,600
HOW YOU DOIN', MA'AM?
475
00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:51,100
SUSAN, CAN YOU JUST
GIVE ME A MINUTE?
476
00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:52,300
OH, YEAH.
NO, I'M SORRY.
477
00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:54,400
I--THAT WAS REALLY... IT.
478
00:21:57,133 --> 00:21:58,300
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
479
00:21:58,333 --> 00:21:59,833
IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT,
DELFINO.
480
00:21:59,867 --> 00:22:02,067
IT'S WHAT
NOAH TAYLOR WANTS.
481
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:04,467
WHERE'S HIS GRANDKID?
482
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,400
YOU KNOW,
LET'S SKIP THE PART
483
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:08,333
WHERE YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING.
484
00:22:08,367 --> 00:22:10,067
MR. TAYLOR WANTS TO CHAT.
485
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,467
WHAT IF I SAY NO?
486
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,400
THEN I'VE GOTTA
FIND THE KID MYSELF,
487
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:19,200
AND MY GUESS IS, HE OR SHE IS
SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE CLOSE.
488
00:22:19,233 --> 00:22:21,600
YOUR OLD GIRLFRIEND--
489
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,500
SHE'S GOT A DAUGHTER,
RIGHT?
490
00:22:23,533 --> 00:22:27,133
MAYBE I SHOULD START
BY PAYING HER A VISIT...
491
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:29,667
HER DAUGHTER'S NOT THE ONE.
492
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,600
YEAH, WELL,
GIVEN YOUR TRACK RECORD,
493
00:22:31,633 --> 00:22:34,500
I MIGHT WANNA CHECK THAT OUT
FOR MYSELF.
494
00:22:34,533 --> 00:22:37,067
TELL HIM I'LL BE THERE
IN THE MORNING.
495
00:22:43,533 --> 00:22:46,467
OH!
496
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:48,100
SO PRETTY.
497
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:50,767
YOU LIKE NICE THINGS?
498
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,800
(chuckles)
499
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:54,733
(chuckles) THAT'S WHY
I THINK YOU'RE STUPID,
500
00:22:54,767 --> 00:22:56,733
FOR NOT WANTING
TO STAY HERE.
501
00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:59,567
YOU COULD BE AROUND
MY NICE THINGS ALL THE TIME,
502
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,667
TAKING CARE OF THEM...
503
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:04,300
HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE?
504
00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:07,567
WELL, I'M SURE IT'S A LOT
MORE FUN THAN YOU'D HAVE
505
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,367
IN THAT TINY,
GODFORSAKEN VILLAGE OF YOURS.
506
00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:16,433
YOU KNOW,
WE'RE PROBABLY MORE ALIKE
507
00:23:16,467 --> 00:23:18,633
THAN PEOPLE WOULD GUESS.
508
00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:21,500
I'M FROM A SMALL TOWN, TOO.
MY FOLKS HAD NOTHING.
509
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:25,800
THAT'S WHY I LOVE AMERICA.
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
510
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,433
OH...
511
00:23:33,467 --> 00:23:35,200
HMM, YOU LIKE THAT?
512
00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:37,567
NO.
513
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,433
AN OLD, FAT STOCKBROKER
GAVE THIS TO ME.
514
00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:43,633
IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING.
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
515
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,500
OH... (chuckles)
516
00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:48,767
OH! (gasps)
517
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,433
(speaking Chinese)
518
00:23:51,467 --> 00:23:52,800
OH! (chuckles)
519
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:55,800
IT'S OKAY.
GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
520
00:23:57,733 --> 00:24:00,067
YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR.
521
00:24:00,067 --> 00:24:01,533
OH!
522
00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:11,667
(door bells jingle)
523
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,767
(woman) I LOVED IT!
(man) IT WAS NICE.
524
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,833
HI.
525
00:24:14,867 --> 00:24:17,300
HI. HI.
526
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:20,267
UH, THIS IS THE BEST
I COULD DO ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
527
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:23,067
OKAY.
528
00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,100
OKAY.
529
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:25,567
(door bells jingle)
530
00:24:26,767 --> 00:24:29,667
(both chuckle)
531
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:32,567
OH, UH, SUSAN, THIS IS, UH,
MY BEST MAN, STEVEN.
532
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,600
HE'S ALSO MY LIFE PARTNER.
533
00:24:33,633 --> 00:24:36,433
OH, HI.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
534
00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:40,367
BABY, BE--BE NICE.
COME ON.
535
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,700
I'M SORRY YOU HAVE CANCER.
536
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,367
CANCER?
537
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,133
ISN'T THAT THE POINT
OF THIS WHOLE CHARADE?
538
00:24:49,167 --> 00:24:51,133
GARY SAID
YOU NEEDED INSURANCE.
539
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:52,767
OH, YES. NO, NO,
I DO NEED INSURANCE.
540
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,133
I JUST DON'T HAVE CANCER.
I HAVE A... WANDERING SPLEEN.
541
00:24:59,233 --> 00:25:01,500
I SAID
IT WAS LIKE CANCER.
542
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:03,467
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
543
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,300
NO.
NO, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
544
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:07,767
UH, LET'S JUST GO TO THE CHAPEL.
SHALL WE?
545
00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:13,233
I MADE A WEDDING CAKE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
546
00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:15,167
OH! UH...
547
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:22,067
(man) SO... ARE WE READY
TO GET STARTED?
548
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:24,433
OH, DO YOU HAVE
A THING TO PLAY MUSIC?
549
00:25:24,467 --> 00:25:26,367
I HAD STEVEN BURN A LITTLE
WEDDING MIX FOR US,
550
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,333
FOR AMBIENCE.
551
00:25:27,367 --> 00:25:30,633
SURE, JUST, UM, GIVE ME A SEC.
552
00:25:30,667 --> 00:25:32,600
(chuckles nervously)
553
00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:36,367
DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
554
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,200
YOU SAID SHE WAS SICK.
555
00:25:38,233 --> 00:25:41,200
SHE IS.
SHE HAS A WANDERING SPLEEN.
556
00:25:41,233 --> 00:25:44,233
IT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE CANCER.
IT DOESN'T EVEN SOUND REAL.
557
00:25:44,267 --> 00:25:47,067
WELL, IT IS.
I-I COULD DIE.
YOU LOOK FINE TO ME, HONEY.
558
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:48,600
DON'T DO THIS.
559
00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:50,533
I HAVE ASKED YOU SIX TIMES
560
00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:52,567
TO FLY WITH ME TO HOLLAND
TO GET MARRIED,
561
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,300
AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE
SOME LAME EXCUSE.
562
00:25:54,333 --> 00:25:57,533
BUT THE SECOND SOME CHICK WITH
A SILLY DISEASE COMES ALONG,
563
00:25:57,567 --> 00:26:00,367
WELL, YOU DROP EVERYTHING
AND HEAD FOR A CHAPEL.
564
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,833
OH, NO,
IT'S A SERIOUS ILLNESS.
565
00:26:01,867 --> 00:26:05,700
SEE, IT JUST SOUNDS SILLY
'CAUSE OF THE WORD "SPLEEN."
566
00:26:05,733 --> 00:26:08,067
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I WANT YOU TO WORRY
ABOUT MY FEELINGS
567
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,233
HALF AS MUCH AS YOU WORRY
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER'S!
568
00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,800
WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?
569
00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:15,567
NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE WEDDING?
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE ASKING?
570
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,500
OH, OH! NO, NO,
STOP RIGHT THERE.
571
00:26:17,533 --> 00:26:20,367
OKAY, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
YOU TWO CRAZY KIDS GET HITCHED
572
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,067
IN HOLLAND MORE THAN ANYONE,
WITH THE TULIPS AND THE CLOGS,
573
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:25,800
IN FRONT OF A WINDMILL,
THE WHOLE SHEBANG.
574
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,700
BUT UNLESS I GET THIS SURGERY,
MY SPLEEN IS GOING TO SLAM
575
00:26:28,733 --> 00:26:30,633
STRAIGHT INTO MY HEART
AND EXPLODE.
576
00:26:30,667 --> 00:26:32,567
SO, YOU KNOW, SEEING
AS I AM JUST A NICE PERSON
577
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,467
AND I ALWAYS SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS,
LET'S JUST DO THIS.
578
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:38,367
AND THEN I'LL HAVE
A HUSBAND AND INSURANCE.
579
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,333
NOBODY GETS HURT.
580
00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:47,833
STEVEN, WHY...
STEVEN!
581
00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:49,200
(sighs) IT'S JUST...
582
00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:51,067
YEAH.
583
00:26:52,467 --> 00:26:55,300
I'M SO SORRY.
MY HANDS ARE TIED.
584
00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:57,500
I'M REALLY SORRY.
585
00:27:00,467 --> 00:27:02,100
STEVEN, WAIT. STEVEN...
586
00:27:02,133 --> 00:27:04,067
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
587
00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:06,200
(Tina Turner over stereo)
* OH, OH, OH
588
00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:09,167
* WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO,
GOT TO DO WITH IT? *
589
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,500
AH, FINALLY GOT
THE SOUND SYSTEM WORKING.
590
00:27:11,533 --> 00:27:13,367
* WHAT'S LOVE
BUT A SECONDHAND EMOTION? *
591
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,300
WHERE'S THE GROOM?
592
00:27:15,333 --> 00:27:18,367
* WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO,
GOT TO DO WITH IT? *
593
00:27:26,633 --> 00:27:29,667
HEY, SUSIE Q.
594
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:30,867
WHAT'S WRONG?
595
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,067
FOR A NEWLYWED, YOU DON'T HAVE
MUCH SPRING IN YOUR STEP.
596
00:27:34,100 --> 00:27:36,267
I DIDN'T GET MARRIED.
597
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:37,700
REALLY?
598
00:27:37,733 --> 00:27:38,767
WE GOT TO THE ALTAR,
599
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,067
BUT THE WHOLE FAKE WEDDING THING
SORT OF IMPLODED.
600
00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:47,367
WOW. I'M SORRY.
601
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,733
I STILL DON'T HAVE
INSURANCE.
602
00:27:49,767 --> 00:27:51,667
I NEED TO GET
THAT OPERATION.
603
00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:53,100
I'M...
604
00:27:55,233 --> 00:27:57,067
I'M REALLY SCREWED.
605
00:27:59,233 --> 00:28:00,733
(exhales) WELL...
606
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:06,833
WHY DON'T I JUST
MARRY YOU?
607
00:28:06,867 --> 00:28:09,133
WHAT?
I'VE GOT
A FANTASTIC HEALTH PLAN.
608
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:10,633
YOU'D BE COVERED
INSTANTLY.
609
00:28:10,667 --> 00:28:14,767
BUT... WE WERE
ACTUALLY MARRIED.
610
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,567
LOOK, SUSIE,
I'VE ALWAYS FELT AWFUL
611
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,833
ABOUT WALKING OUT ON YOU
THE WAY I DID.
612
00:28:19,867 --> 00:28:21,767
AND I FIGURE,
IF WE DO THIS,
613
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,067
I'D BASICALLY
BE SAVING YOUR LIFE.
614
00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:29,167
I FIGURE I OWE YOU ONE.
615
00:28:31,233 --> 00:28:32,500
KARL...
616
00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:36,500
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
617
00:28:36,533 --> 00:28:39,633
WILL YOU MARRY ME,
SUSAN MAYER? (laughs)
618
00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:41,333
AGAIN?
619
00:28:44,067 --> 00:28:45,833
WHAT THE HELL?
(laughs)
620
00:28:45,867 --> 00:28:47,067
COOL!
621
00:28:47,067 --> 00:28:49,367
(both laughing)
622
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,533
WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO ABOUT EDIE?
623
00:28:56,567 --> 00:28:59,433
WE CAN'T TELL HER.
SHE'D KILL US BOTH.
624
00:28:59,467 --> 00:29:01,400
YEAH, IT'LL BE
OUR LITTLE SECRET.
625
00:29:02,633 --> 00:29:04,533
WE'VE REALLY ENJOYED
HAVING YOU AS A GUEST.
626
00:29:04,567 --> 00:29:05,500
RIGHT, GABY?
627
00:29:05,533 --> 00:29:07,367
ABSOLUTELY.
628
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,133
XIAO-MEI,
YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL GIRL,
629
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:13,167
SO...
SO YOU TAKE CARE, OKAY?
630
00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:15,800
OH!
631
00:29:20,533 --> 00:29:22,567
(Father Crowley) THANKS FOR
ALL YOUR HELP, CARLOS.
632
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,433
(Carlos) MY PLEASURE,
FATHER.
633
00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:32,067
BYE-BYE. LADIES?
(door shuts)
634
00:29:32,100 --> 00:29:33,833
PLEASE DON'T
TELL ME YOU'RE CRYING
635
00:29:33,867 --> 00:29:36,267
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
HAVE THE MAID YOU WANT.
636
00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:38,600
CARLOS, SHE WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN JUST A MAID.
637
00:29:38,633 --> 00:29:40,767
SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN
THE BEST DAMN MAID EVER.
638
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,167
GOD, YOU'RE PATHETIC.
639
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,433
SHUT UP.
640
00:29:44,467 --> 00:29:46,633
(women shouting in Chinese
in distance)
641
00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:48,300
HEY, SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
642
00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:52,167
(arguing in Chinese)
643
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,067
FATHER CROWLEY...
644
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:57,367
(woman) XIAO-MEI, XIAO-MEI...
(speaking Chinese)
645
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:58,733
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
646
00:29:58,767 --> 00:30:01,400
WELL, XIAO-MEI DOESN'T WANT
TO GO BACK TO CHINA.
647
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:03,600
SHE WANTS TO STAY HERE
AND WORK FOR YOU.
648
00:30:03,633 --> 00:30:05,233
WHAT? WHY?
649
00:30:05,267 --> 00:30:09,500
(speaking Chinese)
650
00:30:11,733 --> 00:30:14,700
SHE SAYS MRS. SOLIS
TREATED HER WITH MORE KINDNESS
651
00:30:14,733 --> 00:30:16,500
THAN SHE'S EVER KNOWN.
652
00:30:16,533 --> 00:30:19,200
SHE NOW THINKS OF YOU TWO
AS FAMILY.
653
00:30:19,233 --> 00:30:21,533
OH, REALLY?
654
00:30:21,567 --> 00:30:24,433
OH, OF COURSE
YOU CAN STAY!
655
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:28,600
OH! (chuckles)
656
00:30:28,633 --> 00:30:29,633
GABY...
657
00:30:29,667 --> 00:30:33,467
CARLOS,
SHE THINKS OF US AS FAMILY.
658
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:40,700
I'M READY TO HEAR
THOSE FARM FRESH CONCEPTS.
659
00:30:40,733 --> 00:30:42,133
CONFERENCE ROOM IN FIVE...
660
00:30:42,167 --> 00:30:44,300
TOILET BOY! (laughing)
661
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,400
YOU ARE SO NOT ALLOWED
TO COMPLAIN TO ME.
662
00:30:49,433 --> 00:30:51,633
I KNOW. YOU WERE RIGHT, OKAY?
SO NOW I'M KNOWN THROUGHOUT
663
00:30:51,667 --> 00:30:53,567
THE ADVERTISING WORLD
AS "TOILET BOY."
664
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,800
TELL HIM YOU'RE DONE
WITH THE GAMES.
665
00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,733
YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY
ANYMORE.
666
00:30:57,767 --> 00:31:00,367
NO, NO, NO, I CAN'T.
I CAN'T. IF I BACK DOWN NOW,
667
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,233
HE'LL SEE IT
AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS.
668
00:31:02,267 --> 00:31:04,400
LOOK, THIS IS THE WAY
THAT GUYS DO BUSINESS.
BUT--
669
00:31:04,433 --> 00:31:07,533
SO YOU CALLED IT. HE MADE ME
HIS BITCH. COME ON.
670
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,700
HERE YOU GO.
OH.
671
00:31:13,733 --> 00:31:15,633
YOU KNOW, ED,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
672
00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:18,133
WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN AND GAMES
AROUND HERE LATELY,
673
00:31:18,167 --> 00:31:19,500
BUT MAYBE IT'S TIME
674
00:31:19,533 --> 00:31:22,100
TO SET A SLIGHTLY MORE
PROFESSIONAL TONE IN THE OFFICE.
675
00:31:22,133 --> 00:31:23,467
OH, I GET IT.
676
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:25,433
SOMEBODY WENT RUNNING
TO MOMMY, DIDN'T HE? HUH?
677
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:27,500
WHAT?
TOM LOSES A FEW BETS,
678
00:31:27,533 --> 00:31:30,400
SO HE TRIES TO GET HIS WIFE
TO MAKE ME BACK OFF?
679
00:31:30,433 --> 00:31:32,400
OH, THIS IS SO ALPHA TAU.
680
00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:34,800
I AM GONNA MAKE HIM PAY.
681
00:31:34,833 --> 00:31:38,633
NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MAKE HIM PAY.
682
00:31:38,667 --> 00:31:40,333
YOU ARE GONNA
STOP THIS NOW.
683
00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:41,833
THIS IS MY COMPANY.
684
00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:45,200
IF PEOPLE WANNA WORK HERE,
THEY PLAY BY MY RULES.
685
00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:51,800
ED!
WHAT?
686
00:31:53,633 --> 00:31:54,600
I'M CALLING YOU OUT.
687
00:31:54,633 --> 00:31:56,367
HUH?
YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.
688
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,533
THIS IS YOUR COMPANY,
SO I'LL PLAY BY YOUR RULES.
689
00:31:58,567 --> 00:32:02,167
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU
TO STOP THIS FRAT BOY CRAP?
690
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,067
SHAVE MY EYEBROWS?
COME TO WORK NAKED?
691
00:32:04,100 --> 00:32:05,567
NAME YOUR STAKES.
692
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,067
(scoffs) I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
AW, WHAT'S WRONG, ED?
693
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:12,500
YOU AFRAID A PHI KAPP'S
GONNA GET BEATEN BY A GIRL?
694
00:32:12,533 --> 00:32:14,267
COME ON, BIG MAN...
695
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,233
IT'S JUST A LITTLE BET.
696
00:32:20,633 --> 00:32:24,067
AS YOU KNOW, I THINK
THAT MAKING THE WORKPLACE FUN
697
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:25,400
IS GOOD FOR MORALE.
698
00:32:25,433 --> 00:32:28,600
BUT LYNETTE HERE THINKS
THAT OUR SHENANIGANS
699
00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:29,767
HAVE GOTTEN
A LITTLE OUT OF HAND.
700
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,433
(booing)
OH, HOLD ON.
701
00:32:32,467 --> 00:32:34,767
HOLD ON. I RESPECT
LYNETTE'S WORK ETHIC.
702
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,233
SO WE'VE DECIDED
TO SETTLE THE MATTER
703
00:32:37,267 --> 00:32:41,667
WITH A LITTLE TEST
OF INTESTINAL FORTITUDE.
704
00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:44,833
IF SHE CAN EAT 1 POUND
705
00:32:44,867 --> 00:32:49,667
OF OUR CLIENT'S FINE,
FARM-FRESH PORK PRODUCT, RAW...
706
00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:51,800
(laughter)
707
00:32:51,833 --> 00:32:55,067
THERE'LL BE A MORATORIUM
ON WAGERING IN THE OFFICE.
708
00:32:55,067 --> 00:32:56,733
(man) OH, OH!
709
00:32:56,767 --> 00:32:58,500
I KNOW
YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR ME.
710
00:32:58,533 --> 00:33:00,700
YOU DON'T
NEED TO DO THIS.
711
00:33:00,733 --> 00:33:03,233
I DON'T NEED YOU
FIGHTING MY FIGHTS.
I AM NOT FIGHTING
YOUR FIGHTS.
712
00:33:03,267 --> 00:33:05,167
THIS IS MY FIGHT.
(clears throat)
713
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,100
THIS IS HOW GUYS
DO BUSINESS, RIGHT?
714
00:33:07,133 --> 00:33:08,567
(man) I GOTTA SEE THIS.
715
00:33:12,733 --> 00:33:15,200
(staff murmuring)
716
00:33:15,233 --> 00:33:17,233
(man)
THIS IS SO DISGUSTING.
717
00:33:17,267 --> 00:33:19,067
(woman)
WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU.
718
00:33:21,433 --> 00:33:23,600
WHILE WE'RE YOUNG.
719
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,200
(all groan)
720
00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:31,133
(breathing heavily)
721
00:33:31,167 --> 00:33:34,167
(imitates retching)
(clears throat)
722
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,800
NO SHAME IN DEFEAT,
LYNETTE.
723
00:33:36,833 --> 00:33:38,667
NO SHAME AT ALL.
724
00:33:41,067 --> 00:33:42,567
(staff groaning)
725
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,400
(coughs)
726
00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:53,700
(woman) OH, SHE'S GONNA DO IT.
727
00:33:58,067 --> 00:33:59,767
(woman) OHH!
728
00:34:01,733 --> 00:34:03,667
(woman) OH, YES!
729
00:34:06,667 --> 00:34:08,467
(woman) OH!
730
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:21,067
(woman) OH, THIS IS TOO MUCH.
731
00:34:23,167 --> 00:34:24,300
(stomach rumbles)
732
00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:26,067
(man) OH!
733
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:27,100
(groans)
734
00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:31,667
WHAT? SHE TOOK THE BET.
735
00:34:31,700 --> 00:34:34,733
WHAT? THIS IS FUN, PEOPLE.
736
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,200
(woman) SHE'S GOT ONE MORE.
737
00:34:38,233 --> 00:34:39,533
(sighs)
738
00:34:43,167 --> 00:34:44,500
(coughs)
739
00:34:44,533 --> 00:34:47,500
(staff groans)
740
00:34:50,367 --> 00:34:52,300
(coughs)
741
00:34:57,633 --> 00:35:03,300
SO... CAN THIS BE A PLACE
OF BUSINESS AGAIN, ED?
742
00:35:03,333 --> 00:35:05,133
NO MORE GAMES?
743
00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:06,133
SURE.
744
00:35:07,067 --> 00:35:09,533
YOU SUCKED ALL THE FUN
OUT OF IT ANYWAY.
745
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,767
(man) LYNETTE...
746
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,067
(woman) I GOTTA GO
BACK TO WORK.
747
00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:22,567
(sighs)
THAT WAS REALLY SOMETHING.
748
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,800
THANKS.
749
00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:27,600
COULD YOU SCROUNGE ME UP
A BUCKET?
750
00:35:37,100 --> 00:35:38,633
CALEB SAID
A NICE, RED-HAIRED LADY
751
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:40,167
CAME TO VISIT HIM.
752
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,700
COME ON IN, BETTY.
753
00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:48,100
GET YOU A DRINK?
754
00:35:48,133 --> 00:35:50,067
THIS IS NOT
A SOCIAL CALL, BREE!
755
00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:52,700
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT BREAK
INTO MY HOME AND TALK TO MY SON?
756
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:56,167
CALEB AND I HAD, UH,
A VERY LOVELY CHAT. YES.
757
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,333
(lowers voice) IF YOU EVER
COME NEAR HIM AGAIN,
758
00:35:58,367 --> 00:36:00,300
THERE WILL BE HELL
TO PAY.
759
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:01,700
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
760
00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:06,100
AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?
761
00:36:06,133 --> 00:36:08,400
THE NAME, UM...
762
00:36:08,433 --> 00:36:11,067
MELANIE FOSTER CAME UP.
763
00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:16,067
I'M GONNA POUR YOU
A DRINK NOW, BETTY,
764
00:36:16,067 --> 00:36:18,833
BECAUSE WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE
A VERY HONEST DISCUSSION,
765
00:36:18,867 --> 00:36:21,500
AND I THINK YOU'RE GONNA
NEED A LITTLE HELP
766
00:36:21,533 --> 00:36:23,367
GETTING THROUGH IT.
767
00:36:26,333 --> 00:36:29,600
(Mike) HIS NAME'S ZACH YOUNG.
HE LIVES WITH HIS FATHER.
768
00:36:29,633 --> 00:36:32,067
MOTHER COMMITTED SUICIDE
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
769
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:34,067
HOW DID HE END UP
WITH THESE PEOPLE?
770
00:36:34,067 --> 00:36:35,433
HOW DO YOU THINK?
771
00:36:35,467 --> 00:36:38,333
DIERDRE WAS STRUNG OUT, NOAH.
SHE GAVE HIM UP.
772
00:36:38,367 --> 00:36:40,633
I WANNA SEE THIS BOY.
773
00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:42,567
WELL, HE'S GOT
A NEW FAMILY NOW.
774
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,500
I CAN'T JUST SNAP MY FINGERS
AND GET HIM IN HERE.
775
00:36:44,533 --> 00:36:46,433
MAYBE NOT,
BUT I CAN SNAP MY FINGERS,
776
00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:49,267
AND DETECTIVE SULLIVAN
CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.
YOU DON'T WANNA DO THAT.
777
00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,167
NO?
IS THAT REALLY
THE WAY YOU WANNA MEET HIM--
778
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,100
HAVE THAT THUG DRAG HIM IN HERE
SO GRANDPA CAN GIVE HIM A HUG?
779
00:36:55,133 --> 00:36:57,800
FINE. YOU BRING HIM.
I'LL GIVE YOU TWO DAYS.
780
00:36:57,833 --> 00:37:00,700
As you know, I'm on a bit
of a clock here.
781
00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:09,067
WHEN CALEB WAS BORN,
782
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:13,067
AND THE DOCTORS DISCOVERED
THAT HE WAS DIFFERENT,
783
00:37:13,067 --> 00:37:14,567
I DIDN'T EVEN CRY.
784
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:22,400
IT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL MOMENT
OF MY LIFE.
785
00:37:22,433 --> 00:37:24,667
I DIDN'T SHED A SINGLE TEAR.
786
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:28,267
I JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
WHAT'S THE POINT?
787
00:37:28,300 --> 00:37:34,833
HE IS MY SON, AND I HAVE
TO RAISE HIM AS BEST I CAN.
788
00:37:34,867 --> 00:37:37,067
NOW THAT'S MY JOB.
789
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,233
IN A LOT OF WAYS,
I FEEL SO BLESSED.
790
00:37:41,267 --> 00:37:46,467
CALEB IS CHALLENGED,
BUT HE HAS SUCH A SWEET NATURE.
791
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:49,667
I'M SURE YOU NOTICED THAT
WHEN YOU CAME TO VISIT.
792
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:51,333
YES, I DID.
793
00:37:52,833 --> 00:37:56,467
I ALSO NOTICED THAT YOU HAD HIM
CHAINED IN THE BASEMENT.
794
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:01,733
THAT'S BECAUSE
OF MELANIE FOSTER.
795
00:38:04,167 --> 00:38:09,067
MELANIE WAS A GIRL
THAT MATTHEW DATED.
796
00:38:09,067 --> 00:38:11,767
SHE WAS A DEBUTANTE.
797
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,833
AND LIKE
TYPICAL TEENAGERS,
798
00:38:13,867 --> 00:38:16,700
THEIR RELATIONSHIP
WAS FULL OF DRAMA.
799
00:38:16,733 --> 00:38:19,467
THEY WERE ALWAYS BREAKING UP
AND GETTING BACK TOGETHER
800
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:20,633
AND BREAKING UP.
801
00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:24,267
ONE NIGHT, AFTER ONE
OF THEIR BIG BLOW-UPS,
802
00:38:24,300 --> 00:38:26,267
CALEB SOMEHOW
CONVINCED MELANIE
803
00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:29,133
TO MEET HIM DOWN
AT OUR LOCAL LUMBERYARD.
804
00:38:29,167 --> 00:38:32,100
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT
SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BRINGING
805
00:38:32,133 --> 00:38:36,733
SOME KIND OF APOLOGY
FROM MATTHEW, BUT HE WASN'T.
806
00:38:36,767 --> 00:38:40,800
CALEB TOLD MELANIE
HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER,
807
00:38:40,833 --> 00:38:43,833
AND THAT
IF HE WAS HER BOYFRIEND,
808
00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:47,633
HE WOULD NEVER
BREAK UP WITH HER...
809
00:38:47,667 --> 00:38:50,267
AND SHE LAUGHED
IN HIS FACE.
810
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:55,500
HE TRIED TO SHOW HER
HE WAS SERIOUS BY KISSING HER...
811
00:38:55,533 --> 00:38:58,733
AND SHE HIT HIM.
812
00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:04,200
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER A LOT
OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT,
813
00:39:04,233 --> 00:39:08,633
BUT HE--HE DOES KNOW THAT
HE GOT VERY, VERY ANGRY, AND...
814
00:39:08,667 --> 00:39:12,067
AND THAT THERE WAS AN AX
LYING ON THE GROUND NEARBY HIM.
815
00:39:16,233 --> 00:39:21,133
YES, MY CALEB KILLED MELANIE,
816
00:39:21,167 --> 00:39:24,733
BUT I COULDN'T
LET HIM GO TO JAIL...
817
00:39:24,767 --> 00:39:28,600
OR WORSE, BE PUT DOWN,
818
00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:31,600
FOR WHAT WAS REALLY
MY CRIME.
819
00:39:31,633 --> 00:39:33,467
YOUR CRIME?
820
00:39:36,367 --> 00:39:39,500
IT WAS MY RESPONSIBILITY.
821
00:39:39,533 --> 00:39:42,267
I WAS SUPPOSED
TO PROTECT HIM FROM HIMSELF.
822
00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:45,167
I AM HIS MOTHER.
823
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,333
THAT WAS MY JOB.
824
00:39:58,867 --> 00:40:04,533
THE WORLD IS FILLED
WITH UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIPS.
825
00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:07,067
HOW DO THEY BEGIN?
826
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:09,800
WITH ONE PERSON
DESPERATELY IN NEED,
827
00:40:09,833 --> 00:40:14,667
AND ANOTHER WILLING TO LEND
A HELPING HAND.
828
00:40:14,700 --> 00:40:17,100
WHEN SUCH KINDNESS
IS OFFERED...
(Edie) WHOO!
829
00:40:17,133 --> 00:40:19,167
WE'RE FINALLY ABLE
TO SEE THE WORTH
830
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:24,333
OF THOSE
WE HAD PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN OFF.
831
00:40:24,367 --> 00:40:26,500
AND BEFORE WE KNOW IT...
832
00:40:26,533 --> 00:40:29,200
A BOND HAS FORMED,
833
00:40:29,233 --> 00:40:34,200
REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OTHERS
CAN UNDERSTAND IT.
834
00:40:34,233 --> 00:40:38,667
YES, UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIPS
START UP EVERY DAY.
835
00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:41,100
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS
836
00:40:41,133 --> 00:40:44,067
MORE THAN THE LONELY.
837
00:40:45,467 --> 00:40:47,300
IN FACT,
838
00:40:47,333 --> 00:40:49,233
IT'S WHAT THEY COUNT ON.
60499
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