Original subtitles

Narrator: "S-a-t:"

Suck-ass test.

That's what that stands for.

Teacher: This is the s.A.T. One examination.

For the first section, you have 30 minutes.

Narrator: Last year, 2 million kids

took the suck-ass test in order to get into college.

Scores range from 500

if you're going to community college riding a bus,

to 1,600 if you're Ivy league driving a Porsche.

It's a standardized test.

"Standardized" meaning they see us all the same.

A kid...

Is a kid...

Is a kid.

Take this kid, for instance--Kyle.

He's a good guy

who knows where he wants to go in life.

But for now, the s.A.T.

Is standing in the way of Kyle's dream.

It's telling him "you're just..."

Time!

Narrator: Then there's Anna, the overachiever.

You know the type.

A future ph.D. With a nice a-s-s.

Good deeds.

Good grades.

But the s.A.T. Doesn't care about that.

You could be the class brain,

a kid in the middle,

or dumb as a post.

When you walk into this room,

it's not about who you are.

The s.A.T. Is about who you'll be.

It's a 1020, Mr. dooling.

Mr. dooling: Well, I've seen worse.

I need a 1430.

I've applied to Cornell.

Heh. Um...

And what are your fall-back schools?

I don't have any.

That's kind of risky, isn't it?

I mean, I'm looking at your file here,

and while your gpa is strong, your, um,

your p.S.A.T. Score wasn't so great.

Don't you think that 1430 is, uh, is a little bit, uh...

Mr. dooling, when I was 7,

I built a log cabin out of popsicle sticks.

Now, you can go in the halls right now

and 5 of the first 6 kids you talk to

are not gonna have a clue what they want to do

for the rest of their lives.

But, Mr. dooling...

I've known since I was 7.

I want to be an architect.

Now, as soon as I was old enough to realize

that there's one school that turns out

some of the greatest architects of our time...

I've wanted to go there.

Cornell university.

Cornell.

You know the guy who designed our bus barn?

He attended a community college

just down the street.

Dooling said you couldn't do it?

Narrator: That's Matty, Kyle's right-hand man.

They say misery loves company?

Well, it really loves Matty.

Dooling said the standardized testing

says I can't do it.

You're down to a 1020?

Jesus. That's almost as bad as me, man.

What'd you tell your parents?

Well, what do you think?

We've never been so proud, son.

Oh, hey.

Mmm, good.

Lookit. 143.

That's what I scored.

Remember, mom? Ha ha.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, look at the positives.

At least one of us is goin' to college.

Hello, Maryland.

Narrator: Matty's girlfriend Sandy

is a freshman at Maryland,

and he was now moments away

from hooking up with her in the fall.

Open the letter, Matty.

Yeah, you're right.

Why should the fact that you're screwed

ruin my big day, huh?

Oh, shit!

"S.A.T. Score insufficient."

This shit ain't fair.

Sandy's gonna be crushed.

Do you even know what "s.A.T." Stands for?

Suck-ass test?

Scholastic aptitude test.

Then they got rid of that altogether.

You know what it stands for now?

Huh?

S.A.T.

"S-a-t" stands for s.A.T. That's it.

That's fucked up.

Yeah, I know.

"Sever all ties" s.A.T.

I mean, I may as well

sever all ties with Sandy.

There's gotta be somebody we can talk to.

There's no one we can talk to?

Look, do you know how many kids want to go up to e.T.S.

And complain about their s.A.T.S?

I mean, if one goes up, they all go up.

What about her?

Unless your father owns the building.

So we'll take the test again.

The re-test is in 2 weeks.

There's no time to get ready.

And even if there was...

What's gonna change?

I'd better call Sandy.

She's gonna love this.

Man: Yeah, Sandy's room.

Some guy answered.

Roommate's boyfriend.

He said, "Sandy's room."

So?

So her roommate's Pam.

He'd say "Pam's room," not "Sandy's room."

Pam's room. Pam!

All right. All right, Matty.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The s.A.T. Did this.

The s.A.T. Is pimping out my girlfriend.

Damn it!

We gotta do something, man.

These people, they're messing

with the rest of our lives.

Matty, the college board

made millions and millions of dollars last year.

You think they give a shit about us?

Just--just hear me out, ok? 'Cause I'm not a dumb guy.

All right? I know things. Ask me--

ask me who's got the best pitching staff in baseball,

or ask me--ask me how to rebuild a carburetor

on a '71 buick. Ask me--

ask me what icing is, for Christ sakes.

The point is, where the hell's that on the test?

Because you learn the rest in college.

Look, I show up for a job interview,

there's a science geek, there's a math nerd.

Who's gonna get the job?

The guy who can throw down at the water cooler.

The guy who's heard the new ataris disc.

The guy--the guy who yakked

in the backseat of your cutlass

after the radiohead show.

Me. Me. That's me. I get the job.

I'm still seeing no point.

The point is that they are not playing fair.

Why should we?

I mean, we know where the answers are--e.T.S.

Maybe we should borrow them.

You want to steal the answers to the s.A.T.

I mean, you have a talent, Kyle.

What you can do with a pencil and paper,

I could never learn to do that.

But they have a test that you're never gonna pass.

Matty, a lot of kids struggle with the s.A.T.

That doesn't justify thievery.

No?

Did you see my dad's truck

in the driveway when you drove up?

It's the--it's the one with the large crapper

on top of it.

It doesn't say "Matthews septic" on it, Kyle.

It says, "Matthews and sons septic" on it.

Look, if I don't get into Maryland,

my life is shit. Literally.

And it's not even my own shit.

Kyle. Oh, dude, check this out.

Listen. Listen. Ok? Ok? Watch this.

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Thank you, Princeton, New Jersey!

I did, uh, smoke on the water.

You hear that?

I'm worried about you, Kyle.

One of these days, you're gonna try

to regain this lost youth of yours

and you're gonna go headfirst into a shit pit.

Is that what you're doing,

living at home, jamming with the dryer?

I don't live at home, bro. I live above the garage.

It's a whole separate dwelling!

I've got my own phone line.

Hey, honey.

You want to help me grade assignments?

We're teaching the kids to bubble in.

Kyle: First graders?

Mom, most of these kids can't even read yet.

Well, I hate to say it,

but there's more money for the school in bubbling in

than reading these days.

Narrator: Now he gets it.

Just follow the money.

Standardized testing is taking over,

and it starts long before high school.

Test scores go up...

The schools get more cash.

In some cases, even the teachers get paid.

It's enough to piss you off. I mean,

when you get the feeling that everything's slipping away,

that you're gonna be left behind,

desperate times call for desperate measures.

Hey, Matty? If you wanted to borrow the answers,

how would you do it?

The girl at e.T.S.

The one the guard let pass...

You recognize her?

Francesca Curtis.

The web-page girl?

Narrator: Francesca Curtis.

Talk about your forbidden fruit.

Hey.

Do you guys know the name of that kid

with the Percocet addiction?

Um...

No?

No?

No, no, no?

Um... No.

Ok, um, if you have something for my page,

you have to write it down

and slip it in my locker.

I'll get back to you.

Oh, no, we're, um--

if you don't know where my locker is,

you're in way over your heads. Sorry.

Matty: Actually...

We had something else in mind.

So you guys are gonna

steal the s.A.T. Answers?

Well...

You should. You should.

I mean, it's-- it's anti-girl.

It's anti... A lot of shit.

But it definitely has girl issues.

I mean, it underscores us on the math and verbal.

On top of that, the college board

settled a complaint last year

that the p.S.A.T. Had a testicle bias

for national merit scholarships.

So you'll help us, then?

Um...No.

Why not?

Well, gosh, pacey, maybe I don't think

you and Dawson can pull it off.

Do you have a plan?

We're working on it.

Yeah, we're working on it.

Oh. Oh. Ok.

You're wasting my time.

Wait--wait.

But don't you find it ridiculous

that from day one they tell us to be unique?

They tell us to be individuals.

Then they give us a standardized test

that makes us all one faceless herd?

Crowd: Desmond rhodes, superstar!

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

$100 million a year.

Probably 60 million of that from girls alone. For what?

To pick up a few stones to throw at a bully

that doesn't fight fair anyway?

I mean, look around this place.

How many of these girls are gonna get screwed

by this test?

What's that gonna do to their self-esteem,

on top of everything else they have to deal with?

You think you may be kind of preaching

to the converted here?

Kyle: I know I am.

That's why we approached you.

We need your help.

What the hell.

It sounds like fun.

I told you.

Crowd: Desmond rhodes, superstar.

Narrator: Desmond rhodes, all-city...

But his grades are shitty.

What do you think?

I look good in red. I was thinking

more of a Philadelphia 76er-type red, though.

Is that why you haven't taken

the s.A.T.S yet? The pros?

Maybe.

May I speak honestly?

Mom: Please. I wish you would.

Des, I want you to come to St. John's

because the fact of the matter is,

your game is not ready.

If you come with me,

I'll do everything in my power

to get you to the nba.

But if god forbid you don't make it,

you're gonna have a degree in one hand,

and you're gonna be prepared for life

after basketball.

Now, you see, that's what I'm talking about.

So where do we go from here?

Well, that's up to you.

You know, your grade point average

is a little bit on the low end

for us at St. John's,

but we can work with that.

What you need

is you need 900 or better

on the s.A.T.S.

Hey, Matty, don't freak out, ok?

About what? Just don't.

I won't. What's up?

Matty: What are you doing?

You remember the photographer

at the basketball game?

The girl at the baseline?

You told Anna Ross?!

You said you wouldn't freak out.

That was before I knew you told the class brain.

Yeah, well... I'm sorry, Matty.

You ever think maybe we're not the only ones

in this boat?

What boat?!

It's Anna Ross! I know.

What do you-- what--what--what--

well, what'd she say, anyway?

You know, I don't even know you,

but even if I did...

What you're talking about is wrong.

It's--it's cheating.

It's a victimless crime.

Ok, hypothetical situation...

You're driving, it's late.

You get to a red light in the middle of nowhere.

Do you run the light?

You see? You don't.

You wait. Because a victimless crime

is still a crime.

It isn't worth it.

Maybe it is. Maybe I run it.

It depends.

On what?

Am I trying to get somewhere important?

So she's in. She said no.

Yeah, but she knows about it.

Oh, you like this girl?

Matt.

No, no, no, no. 'Cause I could see

if you're trying to get into her pants--

Matt, it wasn't like that.

I just got the feeling...

Something just tells me

she needs this as bad as we do.

Oh. Oh, ok, something tells you.

Something tells you just to walk up

to Anna Ross

and invite her to break into e.T.S.

And steal the answers to the s.A.T.?

What, some inner voice just signed off on this?

Yeah, it did, all right, Matt?

That is great, Kyle!

Guy in stall: Oh!

Narrator, Roy: Hey...That's me!

Just because they keep getting younger

doesn't mean you will.

Oh, here she is.

The game run late, honey?

Anna's the yearbook photographer.

Yeah. Yes. A little.

Anna, this is tom hackett,

an old friend, who might be able

to help us with brown.

Hi, Anna. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Hi.

Well, come on, honey, sit down.

Let me get that.

It's just her camera gear.

Ah.

Hey, sweetheart.

So...Great. Great.

What types of things are you interested in

besides photography?

Oh, tell him about the pledge drive

you coordinated. Yeah. Yeah.

We asked students to sign a pledge

to refrain from drug use--

yeah. It was very successful.

That's great.

Mom: She's also involved

in several other community-related

projects...

Hey, kiddo.

That went well.

Oh, I guess we won.

Yep, they did.

You know, your father and I

have noticed the effort

you've put into this re-test.

What if I mess it up again?

You won't.

You're gonna do great.

We're really proud of you, honey.

Hi, who's this?

Cleo.

I think I dialed the wrong number,

but y-you sound familiar.

What's your Thursday morning class?

M.E. Lecture. Mine, too.

Yeah.

Uh, well, listen, i won't keep you any longer,

but, um--oh--oh, hey, before you go,

my roommates and I are having this discussion.

Maybe you can help.

Yeah, what's the lowest s.A.T. Score

you've ever heard of anyone who's gotten into brown?

Thanks.

Francesca: E.T.S. Has the entire top floor.

Kyle: Can you get us up there?

Well, probably,

but...Then what?

I don't know,

but we're not talking about a big heist, ok?

It's as easy as getting in,

finding the answers, making a copy, and getting out.

We've just gotta think of the easiest way to do it.

Caw!

You've assembled a crack team, chief.

Well, what was i supposed to do, Matty?

He knows everything. He threatened to bust us.

So does Anna Ross, but she's not here.

You told Anna Ross?

Yeah. He had a feeling about her.

Hey, was the feeling anywhere near your crotch?

Hey, guys...

Roy: All right.

I have an idea.

The mail room services the entire building.

They hire a lot of guys straight out of high school.

They won't know you. Just...

Act like you own the place.

Yeah, easy for you to say. You do.

You want to know what we're up against or not?

You'll be fine.

Cornell still worth it?

Yeah. Sandy?

Yeah.

Good. Good.

'Cause we're in it now.

Can I help you?

These are the new mail room slaves.

Ha! You guys forgot your badges.

Losers!

Let's go. Pay attention!

Roy, what the hell are you doing here?

You mean other than bailing you out?

How did you get in here?

I'm the ghost, man.

By the way, just so you know,

mail pickup... Was this morning.

Mm. Unh!

Waiting till the last minute, huh?

Hey.

Take a look at that.

Nice. Thanks, eh?

You think you could help me with that?

Photography?

No. That.

No...I can't.

Come on, Anna.

For me?

You ever heard of the term

"stereotype vulnerability"?

It means that some students do badly on the s.A.T.

Only because they know they're expected to.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you something

about stereotype vulnerability.

If you mess up on the s.A.T. Test,

you gotta live with it. Your parents, maybe.

But if I do, i gotta read about it

in usa today--

"Desmond rhodes is a dumbass."

You know, just because i play ball...

Teachers been letting me slide through

since, like, forever.

I'm not trying to say it's their fault,

'cause it's not.

I did what I did.

If there was some way

I could just get around this one thing...

It all means more to me now.

That's all I'm trying to say.

Excuse me. Huh?

Who are you?

Uh...Who am I?

Who are you?

This is my office.

Ah. Oh, yeah.

I'm from the mail room.

Well, do you have something for me?

Um...Yeah.

Well, could you give it to me?

Yes, I can.

Oops.

My bad.

Let me get that for you.

Anything else i can do for you...

While I'm down here?

Huh?

Huh--yeeeeeah....

Man: Hey, hey, you.

Yeah, copy room, right?

Uh...Right. Right.

Great.

I need 2 copies of this on rush.

One comes back to me, one goes to Ann Clark,

and the master goes to 510 for filing. Got it?

Sure.

Great.

Hey! Whoa!

What are you doing?!

Casing the joint, right?

You...

Oh, thank you. Here.

No, no, no, no. If we take it, they might get suspicious.

They could change it by next Saturday.

Copy it. Copy it.

Say hello to your future, Matt.

Septic and toilets--s.A.T.

Come on, man, it was a good run.

What run?

There was no run.

Francesca: Yeah, well, whatever it was, it's over.

Roy, narrating: Francesca was right.

We were screwed.

Wow.

Well, at least she didn't bring the cops.

Roy: Or...Maybe not.

If I wanted to do what we talked about...

Will you need to know why?

No, but I don't think

that's gonna be possible now.

Oh.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Why'd you bail on your exam?

I didn't.

I saw your answer sheet.

It was practically blank.

I was doing fine at first,

then I came to a story question.

"A woman boards a train in New York at midnight."

"3 hours later, a man also boards."

For some reason, i couldn't get past it.

Where was this woman going? Why was she alone?

Proctor: Time!

I know it probably sounds crazy,

but it just hit home for me,

and I...I wanted to be on that train

and just be... Gone...Somewhere.

I guess I just froze.

When I got home, i realized

how disappointed my parents would be.

I--i need to do great on this test.

Yeah.

Well, like I said--

if it's money you want, we can pay you.

No, it's not money, it's--

we?

Yeah, there's someone else besides me.

Please, don't say no.

Yes!

No! Come on, Matt.

What in the hell is wrong with you?

It's one more person.

It's Desmond rhodes!

Besides, I heard he was going pro.

Nah, man.

He's not strong enough to be a 4,

not quick enough to be a 3.

Besides, he's got no left hand,

and his mid-range game needs work.

I don't see it.

I mean, Anna Ross, that's bad enough,

but do you know how high-profile

Well, he knows about it and he wants in.

Anna says he needs it and we can trust him.

Anna says he needs it.

What are we,

a frickin' soup kitchen?!

Which brings me to point number 2.

Last I heard, we had no way of doing this.

I've been thinking about that.

Hey. Hey.

Was your father suspicious?

Oh, no. To be suspicious

he'd have to be interested.

Um, there are security codes, too.

They gotta supply the building owner

with a copy in case of an emergency.

Yeah, I can get 'em.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

I will see you Tuesday.

Ok, I'll see you Tuesday.

Francesca.

Yeah?

That bad, huh?

My father?

No. Whatever.

I mean, you know.

Poor little rich girl thing's

a little played out, don't you think?

It's, like, the oldest story in the world, isn't it?

Not the true story.

All right. I'll see you on Tuesday.

I will see you Tuesday.

Bye.

Roy: And sometimes it's that easy.

Shit happens. People join the cause.

And you find yourself moving towards something

you didn't plan on approaching.

I mean, by the time we were aware of it,

the plans of one had become the plans of 6.

And the plans of 6 become one.

Hey.

We're eating.

Yeah.

Boy, what's up! Ha ha!

Who is this?

It's Roy. From the s.A.T. Thing.

How did you get this number?

I'm the ghost, man.

Give it to me.

Who's calling, please?

What?

Oh. It's, um...Roy.

Well, Roy, this is our dinner time.

We don't interrupt your dinner time, do we?

Well, I don't have dinner time.

Well, that's a shame.

Now, do you have some business with my son?

Uh, well...

I am, at this time,

assisting him

in his s.A.T. Exam preparations.

And I was wondering

if he could possibly

pick me up this evening,

as I am currently

without transportation.

Oh, s.A.T.

Well, there's hope for you yet, Roy.

Um, why don't you give me that address?

I appreciate that, ma'am.

And, uh...Uh... May I say

that you have an attractive voice.

It's, uh, very pleasant.

Uh, young sounding.

Mm-hmm. The address, please.

4207 triumph street.

With a "t."

Triumph. All right. He'll be there.

Thank you, Roy.

Oh, god.

Be on time.

Francesca, Tiffany.

Tiffany, my daughter Francesca.

Hi.

Hmm. Peace.

Peace.

Oh, no.

P-i-e-c-e. You.

No. She's just kidding.

Roy: Dawg, cool.

All right. Oh, my socks.

Ya-hoo!

Aw, sweet!

What school gave you this?

It's my uncle's ride, man.

Then what school gave it to your uncle?

Why in the hell you call yourself the ghost?

At school, man.

I hear things and I see things,

but nobody hears or sees me.

You think.

Well, I got your cell number, didn't I?

So?

You got mine?

Ah.

This fool is crazy.

Don't touch my shit.

8:00.

So you're absolutely positive

your brother's not gonna be there, right?

Don't worry, Matty.

We got the place to ourselves.

He promised.

You sure? Yeah.

Oh, shit!

Oh, that's my brother. Hey.

What's going on? Salud. Salud.

Oh, sorry, bro. Hope it comes out.

What's up?

Larry, what the hell is this?

You said we could have the place tonight.

Was that supposed to be tonight?

'Cause tonight is wine tasting--

wine-tasting Tuesday.

Roy: Aha! What's up?!

Man: Oh, yeah!

Wow. What's this?

Wine-tasting Tuesday.

Nice.

Whoa. Whoa.

Look, Larry. Larry.

Hmm? You promised.

Yeah, I know.

But maybe we can do it next Tuesday.

All right, this is e.T.S.

This is so cute, this whole thing you're going through.

I'm sorry.

There was a misunderstanding.

Man, what the hell is she typing?

I'm just taking notes.

All right. This is e.T.S.

Francesca: Who took that photo?

Uh, Anna took it.

Oh.

I'm...Not sure I'm comfortable with this.

Oh, you look comfortable

in your Old Navy cotton pullover.

You gotta get this look.

Did I do something?

Yeah, you did something. You got a 4.0 gpa.

Francesca, just stop it, all right?

Do you know what the fatal flaw is

for most heists? Hmm?

It's trusting the team.

So excuse me for being a bitch,

but I'd like to know why the valedictorian is here.

I'm not the valedictorian.

I'm...Second.

Oh, that explains everything.

Everyone has their reasons for being here.

We don't need to know them.

Really? I think we do.

It'll be like that scene

in the breakfast club where they all get stoned

and make confessions to each other.

Ah, sweet.

Maybe we should.

Maybe we should all say

exactly why we're here.

Kyle said we wouldn't have to, so--

well, I think we do, so, I'll start.

I'm here to make new friends.

And for the wine, of course.

How about you, superstar?

I'm here 'cause the s.A.T. Is racist.

Well, that didn't take long, now, did it?

Oh, you don't think so?

Who created the test? Rich white guys.

Who scores the highest on the test?

Roy: Asian chicks.

Middle-class Asian girls

who watch less than an hour of television a day.

They can't drive,

but they can take the shit out of the s.A.T., huh?

Desmond: Whatever. Why are you here?

Uh, 'cause I'm not smart enough

to get the score that I need,

as opposed to being this genius

who's being screwed by the man.

Matty--

it is, you know.

It's unfair to certain groups.

It is. Like kiss-ass valedictorians.

I'm not the valedictorian.

Oh, right. You're second.

All right! Enough, ok?

This is the floor plan for the tower

that houses the regional e.T.S. Office, ok?

This is the hardware schedule

that tells the specs of security cameras

that are here,

here, here, and here.

It's pretty, and yet--pret-Ty--

Roy!

Pay attention. Please.

Now, Francesca has the codes to all the locks inside e.T.S.,

and we know where the test answers are filed,

so if you guys think that we can somehow--

yeah.

Yo. Is this thing hemp?

This is never gonna work.

It'll be ok.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're gonna be great.

I mean, all-state's phone is ringing off the hook here,

and Roy--

Roy's trying to smoke Larry's comforter.

Hey, Roy! Roy!

I'm serious. You're about out of here.

Francesca: Shit.

Shit.

You need some help with that?

Mm...No, not unless you can encode visual basic.

Here.

There.

What did you do?

I don't know.

Some shit with the dynamic variables.

So we gonna do this or what?

Now, would you turn your phone off and start paying attention?

You got a problem with me?

No, I got a problem with anybody who puts us at risk.

So you think it's me?

Fine. I don't need this shit no way.

Anna, you down with this?

Uh...

You guys see Desmond on TV this weekend?

Playing for St. John's?

Took 25 and 10 off north Carolina.

Matty, you saw it, right?

You were at your apartment with Sandy in Maryland.

I missed it. I had a date.

But my roommate at brown is a big sports fan

and she said it was pretty great.

You know what? It was.

I saw the whole thing from my Cornell dorm room.

Roy, you had money on it.

Well, I hope you covered the spread.

We can do this. Ok?

We can all get where each one of us wants to go.

But we have got to trust each other.

You talk a good game,

but I think your mom's gonna come in with snacks.

This is serious.

Some of us got a lot to lose.

Uh...I think that we all have a lot to lose.

All right, fair enough.

Just hear me out.

Anyone who doesn't like the plan can walk.

Ok.

All right.

Friday afternoon, Francesca will enter through the lobby.

The same as any other Friday.

Then, she'll make appointments for me and Matty

with her dad's partner.

Well, what if he recognizes you?

He won't recognize me.

Oh, he might.

Hands up!

He won't recognize me.

All right, once I'm up and in,

Matty's gonna sign in and join us

in Francesca's father's office.

Where am I gonna be?

You're waiting in the woods nearby.

With that big-ass crow?

Aah!

Alone?

No, with Desmond and Anna.

Ah.

Oh, Roy!

Yeah, baby!

Huh? Ha!

Oh, give it to me, Roy.

Who's your daddy now? Come on!

Maybe we should all go together.

No, we need you guys outside on the perimeter

for when the night guard makes his rounds.

Now, their rotation isn't really precise,

and we're gonna be using flashlights inside.

So we'll watch out for the guards

to make sure you cut 'em off.

Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Now, inside, Francesca's gonna ask the night security guard

to disconnect the alarm on the rear stairwell door,

saying she has boxes to unload from her car--

something she's done in the past.

Guard: Hold it right there.

Aah! Ohh!

Kyle: Matty and I have about 20 seconds

to get inside the stairwell

before the guard returns to the front desk

and his security bank of monitors.

We'll take the stairs to the roof

and wait for Francesca's key card.

From here we're almost home.

We get in, we get the answers,

and we get out.

Shortly after midnight,

this is me...

25 minutes into Saturday morning,

and a whole lot closer to the rest of our life.

Who's gonna join me?

All right.

You smoke?

Makes kissing kind of nasty.

Then we won't be kissing, huh?

I...I know. I was just, um...

Why are you here?

I need the answers.

To join Sandy at Maryland.

What's so great about her,

I mean, aside from being smoke-free?

You wouldn't get it.

Hmm. Try me.

I mean, it's, like... I don't get the best grades.

I'm not really great at... Anything.

But here was something that I was finally great at.

I was great at being with Sandy.

I could make her laugh.

I could--i could... Guess what she was thinking.

And it was just...

Great. It was-- it was great.

And?

And I just can't wait to be great again.

We're here for the bank's money,

not your money. Your money's insured

by the federal government.

You're not gonna lose a dime.

Think of your families. Don't risk your life.

Don't try and be a hero.

Right now I want you to sit on the floor

and put your hands on your head.

Roy: And so the day arrived.

We had packed it,

rolled it,

smoked it.

Now it was time to ride the buzz.

Yeah? Hey, it's me.

Set your phone to vibrate, call me back, ok?

All right. From here on out, we're gonna use redial.

Tell Roy the same thing, ok?

I got you.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

I forgot the bolt cutters.

Huh?

Just kidding.

That's funny.

Here we go. Masks.

Did you bring your floaties?

It's all I could find.

All right. We're here.

Answers are here. Keep your mask on

till we get past the security cameras,

just in case.

Ow. Ow!

You walk much?

My mask is fogged.

All right, there's a security camera

around the corner on the right.

So stay low and tight to the wall.

What do we do if it sees us?

About 3 to 6 months and a lot of community service.

It's not like I'm gonna look at your underwear.

Who says I'm wearing any?

Ooh! Matty, you ok?

I can't see--

I can't see through this stupid mask!

Just--just come forward. Come forward.

Ok.

No, 2 o'clock. 2 o'clock.

2 o'clock. Ohh!

Kyle: This way. This way.

Grab my hand. Grab my hand!

Thanks.

This way.

Nature calls.

Yeah, it's something, isn't it?

No. Nature calls.

Can I ask you a question?

Why do you smoke pot?

Something to do?

Why do you bite your fingernails?

All right.

This is it.

Francesca?

Ok.

Ok, ok, ok.

Ladies and gentlemen, i present you with...

A serious waste of time.

Why would you lock the door to this?

This was it.

Matty, i swear this was it.

The answers went to 510 for filing.

"went to" doesn't help us, now, does it?

I had the answers in my hands.

"One comes back to me."

Kyle, what--Kyle.

Shit!

What are you doing?!

Shh! Shh! Stop!

Eew.

Who the hell was that?

That was Bernie. He's the night lobby guard.

He hits on everybody.

Well, he's early.

Matty: Where were you going?

"One comes back to me."

The guy who sent me to copy the answers

said, "the master goes to 510 for filing,

and one comes back to me."

Francesca: So what do you want to do, call him at home?

I want to find his office.

545.

Roy, what time do you have?

About that time.

Yeah, can you see the far side

of the building from here?

I'm gonna go see if i can get a better view.

Holy shit.

My phone.

My phone.

Oh!

Aah! Aah, shit.

Roy! Roy, the guard!

There's a problem with my phone.

What problem?

Phone!

Yeah.

Shut off the lights. Shut off the lights.

Shut off the lights.

Yes?

Roy: Sorry. All clear.

Tell Roy I'm kicking his ass.

Hey, hey, I got it.

It's office 545.

Hey.

Maybe it's in here.

You know what this means.

Hello.

It's for you.

Is it a chick?

Hello.

Roy, we need your help.

Who is this?

It's Kyle, Roy.

Oh.

Clyde's.

Uh, Dave, it's Matty.

Hey, Matty. What's up, man?

Um, I need some flowers delivered.

Tell him roses.

Uh, make it roses.

And do you think you could hook me up

with a bottle of champagne?

Uh...Yeah, man. I think I could do that.

All right, nice.

And, um... I need a card signed,

um...From--

"from your secret admirer."

"From your secret admirer."

Uh, here's the name and address.

Anna: If you could do anything with your life

and money was no object,

what would you do?

Roy: Anything at all?

When I was a kid,

I used to play this video game for hours.

Street fighter 2.

And I remember thinking,

you know, people get paid to do this,

to think up the game and to create the characters.

Like there's this one character...Blanca.

He's, like, half human and half lizard...

Who eats his opponents.

Well, I mean, you know,

he either zaps 'em with lightning

or he... Bites their faces off.

It's pretty cool, huh?

So you'd design video games?

Naw. I'd kinda like to be blanca.

I was thinking someday i might want to be an actor.

Hmm. As opposed to solving world hunger

or curing a terminal disease?

See what I mean?

I would run a no-kill animal shelter...Or...

I'd just be a mom...

Not just a mother.

I would be a real mom.

You know, one who cared more about the title of parent

than the one on her business card.

Or porn.

Hey, guys, he's here. Dave's here.

All right, Roy, when she opens up the door, you haul ass.

What do I do?

You wait here with me.

They only need Roy.

All right, flash, you ready?

Roy, you need to get off that bong.

Ok, I'm here.

Kyle: Ok, wait. Not yet.

Wait me for me.

Are you sure they just need Roy?

Maybe we should go, too.

Just Roy, Anna.

All right, Roy, get ready.

You Bernie?

Yeah.

Delivery. Hmm?

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go!

Aw, hell, dawg!

Uh! Ah! Oh, shit! Ooh!

Come on! Come on!

Whoo!

Is he in?

What the hell was that?!

Kyle: Francesca, is he in?

Oh, yeah, he's in, plus 2.

What?

Oh, man, not steps!

we think the answers are in this computer,

but there's a password.

Is this the guy?

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, um, um...

You're a filthy man, Arnie.

Uh, what do they call this thing?

Verification master.

"Mercer county s.A.T. Exam to be administered

fall 2004."

This is getting rich.

Shh! Print one and let's get out of here.

Um, you need 3 other passwords

and 3 other people to print.

So can't you figure it out?

Uh, sure, just give me 6 months in the c.I.A. Mainframe.

Francesca: Well, that was fun.

Guys, the exam's right here.

Yeah, you just need the answers.

Exactly.

Oh, I get it.

Come on, team. Makes perfect sense.

We'll take the test now

so we can steal our own answers,

and then we'll take the real test

with the stolen answers we were afraid would be wrong

in the first place.

It's nice. It's really nice.

Who wants pancakes?

Wait. No, no, no. Guys, guys, guys.

The exam's right here.

Now, maybe we thought this was bigger than us

one-on-one, but there's no way

it's gonna beat all 6 of us together.

Oh, come on, man.

Matty, just try this, ok?

"If it takes 15 people 8 hours

"to make 100 items,

"how many hours will it take

"6 people working at the same rate

to make half as many items?"

Uh... Anna: 10?

10 hours?

"D." 10.

She's second in the class.

All right, all right. Let's see.

"A 10-quart mixture

"consists by volume of one part juice

to 9 parts water..."

Jesus, what lightweight's making this drink?

Ahem.

"If x quarts of juice and y quarts of water

"are added to this mixture to make a 27-quart mixture

"that consists by volume of one part juice

"to 2 parts water,

what is the value of x?"

Anna: 9.

"C" is 9.

No. It says, "if x quarts of juice are added,

what is the value of x?"

We already have one part juice,

so 9 minus one equals x.

Matty: 8! Yeah.

"D" is 8.

He's right. Sorry.

No, guys, don't be sorry.

That's 2 down.

Now, we could walk away right now,

but what are we really walking away to?

I say we trust each other's talent

and take a shot as a group.

I say he's right. We can do this.

Yeah, unless we run out of time.

Right. So we split it up.

Roy, can you access this from another computer?

Yeah, as long as it's in his office.

Done. All right? Someone's gotta

take a crack at verbal. Francesca?

No, no. Me and words are not so goodly.

Ok. Anna, you and i will do verbal.

Someone's gotta do math.

I'll do it.

Are you sure? I mean, it could be a little...

Have you ever heard of the term

"kiss my ass"?

Math doesn't scare me.

You just take care of the verbal.

Ok, um, who's helping des?

Well, I guess I can,

but only with quadratic equations,

coordinate geometry,

and algebraic visualizations.

Well, if you want.

All: Yeah.

Hey!

Well, Hasselhoff, it looks like you and me.

We'll watch the lobby.

You know, you don't have to wait there.

The guard's not due for a couple hours.

You know, Sandy liked this blue color...

"Trueberry blue."

Not anymore.

You said "liked."

You said, "Sandy liked."

Likes. Whatever.

What's wrong? She doesn't call anymore?

No, she calls.

She calls.

Yeah, but... Not like before.

She's busy.

Matty, it's over.

It's never gonna be like the way it was.

Don't...

Look, you don't know anything about it, ok?

Well, I know it's not healthy.

Oh, yeah, right, and folding yourself up

into a web page 'cause daddy doesn't love you enough is, huh?

Uh...I'm--I'm--I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

Then why'd you say it?

'Cause she doesn't call anymore.

Remember when you said

that you were great at being Sandy's boyfriend?

Well, you weren't.

That's nice, Francesca.

Why don't you just rub it in a little--

you weren't great at being

some girl's boyfriend, Matty.

You just found someone

who let you be ok with yourself.

"X is to y..."

As this shit is to boring.

What score do you need on the test, anyway?

A 900.

And you're taking the math for us?

I was afraid of the verbal, Roy.

I could Ace the math and still not get a 900.

So when do you go pro?

You don't know my moms, man.

She all about college degrees.

She worked 3 jobs.

If I blow my knee out in college,

all I got is credits.

If I blow my knee out in the nba,

I got a 4-year guaranteed contract.

Millions.

So what does she say when you tell her that?

I can't.

You just don't know my moms, man.

So all this 'cause you can't talk to your mom?

Can you talk to yours?

My mom's dead...

But if she wasn't...

Yeah.

I think i could talk to her.

Let me get in there, huh?

Whoa. Do your thing. Hoo!

You know, a lot of people

think these questions are difficult.

Not me.

No?

No.

These questions all have answers.

We good?

Yeah.

All right, let's get outta here.

Roy, what's in your bag?

Um, nothing.

Uh! Oh, I needed some school supplies.

Roy, you can't take this stuff!

Why not?

Because if anything's missing,

Francesca's gonna get busted.

So?

Why did you take the guy's photo?

The wife is hot. Look.

Come on. I'll help you take it back.

We'll wait here.

Anna and I will be on the roof.

Uhh!

Anna: I can't believe it! This is so awesome!

You got your answers.

Yeah, that, too,

you know, but...

It's all of it.

We did it. Aow!

Shh! We haven't done anything yet.

What's going on with you?

I don't know. I'm having fun, I guess.

I mean, I know how people see me...

Like one of those perfect girls

that everything always works out for.

I just always wanted to punch one of 'em in the face.

I'm not a robot, you know?

I just haven't done very much. Yet.

Well, if it helps,

there's a lot of stuff i haven't done, too.

Yeah, but I've never really done anything.

I mean, I've never broken curfew,

and I've never cut class,

and I've never...

Made out on a rooftop.

Oh, shit! Shit!

What happened?

Someone's here.

Come on.

Roy! Grab my hand.

We'll pull you up.

Wait, wait, wait! Francesca first. Hold on.

Kyle: What's wrong?

Francesca's not gonna make it.

We gotta go. We gotta go right now, man.

Come on, man, this is wrong.

You're not gonna leave her like this.

We don't have a choice. Come on, let's go!

Hell, no.

Oh, I'll go!

Rhodes, if your ass

doesn't get through this skylight,

the rest of us are gonna get screwed.

Now, Francesca knew the risks and so did you.

Come on, man.

He's right, des. Come on!

Come on!

This shit is messed up.

Come on.

Come on, Roy. Come on.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

Aaay! Aaah!

Matty.

Kyle: Matt, come on.

Matty! Good.

What?! Matt, come on!

Give me your hand.

I'm good, Kyle. Matt!

What about Sandy?

What about her?

This one's on me.

Hey! Hold it right there.

Get your hands up.

Kyle...

We gotta go.

I can't do this.

Guys, I can't do this--

Kyle, Kyle.

It's done.

We're gonna use the key card to get out the back door.

Desmond and Roy go right,

we're gonna go left. Meet at the car.

I'll bring copies of this in the morning. Come on.

So how'd it go?

Don't you sleep?

Not tonight.

What happened to you, kid?

What happened to me?

What happened to you, Larry?

You were supposed to be my big brother.

What am I now, the walking dead?

Well, yeah, pretty much.

I mean...

How do you think mom and dad feel?

I don't know.

How do you think they feel?

Well, I don't know, Larry.

Not good, probably.

Well, let me ask you a question.

You're a parent. Which do you prefer--

the son who lives above the garage

or the son who cheats his way into college?

Next time you pull off a heist,

don't leave your plans on my bed, idiot.

Matty got arrested.

So what do you think, fair trade?

I think that's a shitty thing to ask.

At least you're starting to sound

like my little brother.

Maybe he's actually in there somewhere.

Is there anything you don't know, Larry?

Ha ha ha!

There is plenty i don't know.

But I will tell you something

that you don't know.

Did you know

that every Christmas after you go to bed,

dad, mom, and I, we sit up,

and we talk about how proud we are of you?

How great it is to see this kid, right?

His whole future in front of him.

And how he deserves that...

'Cause he's a good guy and he does the right thing.

Every Christmas for how long?

I don't know. 10 years or something.

You don't think i would've liked

to sit up with my family on Christmas?

Heh. Yeah, but you'd just stress us out.

Good night, little brother.

Ah, word of advice...

Why not?

Never take advice from anyone

who lives above a garage.

How long since your mother passed, baby?

Hmm?

Um...

9 years ago.

I was 8.

Hmm.

That's a shame.

My son tells me

you encouraged him to talk to me.

You're a smart boy, Roy,

so why are you doing a stupid thing

like drugs, hmm?

Um...

Something to do?

Something to do.

You know how they say,

"thank the lord my mother's not alive to see this"?

No.

Well, somebody's mother is, Roy,

and I am not happy with this.

I'm sor--sorry?

You get yourself a shower and some clean clothes.

We'll wait.

Fix you some breakfast before the exam.

Ok?

Uh, i-I've been thinking about that.

Mrs...

Uh, Desmond's mom.

Mm-hmm.

I'm not taking that exam.

I mean, you know,

let's face it,

I'm not going to college.

See, and even if I did,

I'd just be taking the place

of someone that really wanted to be there

more than me.

Oh. You're a smart boy, Roy...

But, baby, there's a whole lotta dumb

dribbling out of your mouth right now.

Now, did you hear what I said

about a shower and clean clothes?

Uh...Yes.

Yes, ma'am.

You'll find I don't like to repeat myself.

Yes, ma'am.

Get your ass up!

Um, yes, ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

Fool.

Damn.

You know, not everybody can pull it off,

but the dashing criminal thing

looks pretty good on you.

Yeah? Wait till you smell it.

You know what I was thinking in there?

Hmm?

I need to work on being alone.

Radio:

Or not.

Did anyone ever tell you you're a hell of a kisser?

Yeah.

Not as good as my cell mate Ramon.

But it's not bad.

What about the exam?

Here's the thing--

once you've spent the night in jail

with the worst version of who you could be someday...

The s.A.T. Ain't nothin'.

How about you? You gonna be all right?

Yeah.

I think it's gonna be a nice day.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Sick and twisted. S.A.T. Ha.

Secretly a tease.

I completely have lost touch

with who you are!

Unacceptable, Anna. Unacceptable.

You're out all night doing god knows what,

with god knows whom.

You're jeopardizing everything that we have worked for

on the Eve of the biggest day

of your life.

This is the real world. You remember that.

You feel pressured, you deal with it.

You feel stressed, you deal with it.

You do not stay out all night.

Do you hear me?

This is your last chance to get into brown.

Oh, you know what?

That reminds me,

I'm not going to brown.

Now you deal with it.

Wow.

Check you out.

I just told my mom I'm not going to brown.

The guys at brown are gonna be disappointed.

Hell, the girls at brown are gonna be disappointed.

So if not brown, where you gonna go?

I don't know.

Europe, maybe, then college.

What's up?

Nah.

Really?

I already nailed the math,

and plus, you don't know my mom.

Roy?

Aw, shit, man, you don't know d's mom.

I wanted to go back and get you, but...

Kyle said screw y'all.

Oh, yeah?

You look like a slut.

I like it.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, man.

Ah, shut up. Don't be.

Besides...

It's not that bad.

Ha ha ha.

No, i don't need 'em.

Come on, man, take them.

I'm serious. Take them.

No, I'm not takin' 'em.

I already took the test. I'm not takin' it again.

Matt, you got arrested.

Hey...

Unbelievable.

Francesca?

No.

All right, guys, what is this?

What? I wasn't in it for the answers.

Besides, I got a 1460 last semester.

You didn't tell us that.

You didn't ask.

All right, wait.

Does this mean you're out, too, now?

Do I look like i need the answers?

You look like you need a pimp.

Kyle: Wait, wait.

Are you tellin' me that after all of this,

nobody's gonna even use these answers?

You are, aren't you?

No.

Kyle, this is your dream, man.

Kyle: Yeah, it is, but...

If they want to put a number on that,

then to hell with them.

I know who I am.

Matty: Yeah?

Yeah.

When did you have this little moment of clarity?

About the same time

my jackass best friend got arrested.

So all this was for nothin'?

I wouldn't call this nothin'.

Man...

Screw this!

Proctor: You have 30 minutes.

Roy: Ok, so I didn't cheat on the test,

but no way was I gonna let those answers go to waste.

Next year at Harvard,

s.A.T. Stands for "stoned and toasted."

Speaking of college, Desmond kicked ass on the re-test

and decided to play ball at St. John's university.

His mom was happy,

and, trust me, you want d's mom happy.

Matty survived probation

and some serious community service.

He once told me that he might like to be an actor.

If not, then just happy.

He's workin' on both.

Francesca sold her first novel.

It's about 6 kids who conspire to steal the s.A.T. Answers.

If they make a movie out of it,

I wonder who'll play me?

He better be hung like a horse.

Kyle did fine on his exam.

Anna crushed him.

He's at Syracuse now

where his dream of becoming an architect is still alive.

Anna went off to Europe

and eventually found her way to college on her own terms.

Now, every other weekend in New York

when a woman boards a train at midnight

and a man boards that same train,

now we know what happens.

Life happens--

romance, adventure...

The stuff you won't find on a test.

I had the highest test score in the county.

But that didn't exactly offset my 0.0 gpa.

Eventually, I was forced-- i mean encouraged--

to get my g.E.D.

I still spend most of my time

at home on video games.

In fact, the number-one selling game last year

was created by me.

Aah...

Ha ha! That's right, baby.

Standardize this!

Fixed & Synced by MoUsTaFa ZaKi