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1
00:00:02,892 --> 00:00:03,725
Here they come!
2
00:00:03,943 --> 00:00:05,977
Faster! They're gaining on us!
3
00:00:06,044 --> 00:00:07,412
Hyah! Giddyap!
4
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,014
Cue the tumbleweeds!
5
00:00:14,285 --> 00:00:16,219
Oh!
6
00:00:16,536 --> 00:00:18,437
Aah!
7
00:00:18,505 --> 00:00:22,209
Oh, mercy!
We are all going to die!
8
00:00:22,627 --> 00:00:24,461
Whoo!
You'll be safe, little missy,
9
00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:27,664
or my name ain't Annie Oakley!
10
00:00:27,732 --> 00:00:29,700
But there's thousands
of them.
11
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,967
And these warriors
are so terrifying.
12
00:00:32,035 --> 00:00:33,736
Cue the terrifying warriors!
13
00:00:36,306 --> 00:00:38,608
This place is lousy with redskins!
14
00:00:38,675 --> 00:00:41,143
Stop, stop. Boyd,
you can't say "redskins."
15
00:00:41,211 --> 00:00:42,878
I have a note.
16
00:00:42,946 --> 00:00:44,580
You have a note?
17
00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:45,881
Yeah. Why can't I just
be on top with Kyle?
18
00:00:45,949 --> 00:00:47,149
I have these
cute granny boots on.
19
00:00:47,217 --> 00:00:48,884
Nobody can see them.
Get back in the coach.
20
00:00:48,952 --> 00:00:51,954
Can I please just shoot her
and put her out of her misery?
21
00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:53,622
Are we stopping?
Yes, we are.
22
00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:55,423
I don't know how they walked
around in these leather pants.
23
00:00:55,491 --> 00:00:58,193
My junk is schvitzing.
24
00:00:58,261 --> 00:01:00,729
Listen, we talked about this
a week ago.
25
00:01:00,797 --> 00:01:02,564
You gotta take out all these
references in the script.
26
00:01:02,632 --> 00:01:03,965
It's just not gonna make it.
27
00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:06,167
It's based on Buffalo Bill's
Wild West show. What?
28
00:01:06,235 --> 00:01:07,969
I know. Come over here.
I can't have my grandson
29
00:01:08,036 --> 00:01:09,470
walking around
saying "redskin,"
30
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,072
"merciless savages,"
"injun," "wampum,"
31
00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:12,673
all that stuff.
32
00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:13,841
But it's authentic.
33
00:01:13,909 --> 00:01:15,777
It's what
Buffalo Bill's show was.
34
00:01:15,844 --> 00:01:17,779
Yeah, but protesters are
rarely interested in facts.
35
00:01:17,846 --> 00:01:21,314
And unfortunately, we don't get
picketed by angry historians.
36
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,983
- Boyd!
- Hey, Dad!
37
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:26,352
Did you see the injuns
coming after me?
38
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,720
"Injuns," Mike?
39
00:01:27,789 --> 00:01:30,356
- Son, they're called "Native Americans."
- Yes.
40
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,825
This is an ongoing
lecture series--
41
00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:34,127
"Why fun things are bad."
42
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,961
Listen,
everybody just take five!
43
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,097
Mike, I just stopped by
your house to pick up my son,
44
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,765
and he wasn't there.
45
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,001
Oh, how long did it
take you to figure that out?
46
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,403
Mike, today is my day
with Boyd,
47
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:46,872
and the last thing I want
is him celebrating violence.
48
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,774
We're not celebrating
violence, son.
49
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,742
We're celebrating
Buffalo Bill Cody's birthday.
50
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,344
Right. We just
added the violence
51
00:01:53,412 --> 00:01:55,413
- to give the show a little kick.
- Yeah.
52
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,216
It's my tribute to
a great hunter and outdoorsman.
53
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,985
And by having warriors
attack the stagecoach,
54
00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:02,753
we're just subliminally
convincing customers
55
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,323
to, you know,
buy more guns and ammo.
56
00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:07,457
Well, I don't want Boyd
exposed to any of this.
57
00:02:07,525 --> 00:02:08,491
Come on, buddy.
We're leaving.
58
00:02:08,559 --> 00:02:10,260
No, Dad, this is fun!
59
00:02:10,328 --> 00:02:12,595
Bam-bam-bam-bam-bam!
60
00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:15,065
- The kid's a natural. Come on.
- Nice, Mike.
61
00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:19,136
- That is totally inappropriate.
- Lighten up, Pocahontas.
62
00:02:19,204 --> 00:02:22,005
He's just learning a little bit
about history. That's it.
63
00:02:22,073 --> 00:02:23,505
All right. Well, then, let's
teach him the real history.
64
00:02:23,573 --> 00:02:24,874
The road West was paved
65
00:02:24,942 --> 00:02:26,909
with the blood
of the indigenous population.
66
00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,978
But it got paved.
67
00:02:29,046 --> 00:02:30,262
And when do we stop paying
68
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:32,498
for stuff we did
hundreds of years ago?
69
00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:33,933
Well, because America
just keeps on doing it--
70
00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:35,668
marching into countries,
slaughtering their people,
71
00:02:35,736 --> 00:02:36,903
stealing their resources.
72
00:02:36,971 --> 00:02:38,637
"Hey, Iraq,
sorry you didn't have
73
00:02:38,705 --> 00:02:39,805
"weapons of mass destruction.
74
00:02:39,872 --> 00:02:41,773
Now hand us all your oil,
please."
75
00:02:41,841 --> 00:02:43,274
I know. We should have been
more patient with Saddam
76
00:02:43,342 --> 00:02:47,412
until his more reasonable sons
Uday and Qusay took over.
77
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,114
Boyd, I'll pick you up
at home later.
78
00:02:49,181 --> 00:02:52,417
All right. I-I'm going to peel
myself out of these pants.
79
00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:55,252
If you need me, I'll be
airing out in the office.
80
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,520
Just knock before entering.
81
00:02:58,724 --> 00:03:02,459
Sync & corrections by Alice
82
00:03:06,297 --> 00:03:07,598
Thanks for
the ride home, Kyle.
83
00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:09,800
Yeah. Love your van.
84
00:03:09,868 --> 00:03:13,369
The gas fumes really explain
a lot about you.
85
00:03:21,277 --> 00:03:22,211
You wanna come in?
86
00:03:22,679 --> 00:03:24,213
No, I've gotta
head back to the store,
87
00:03:24,281 --> 00:03:26,482
put in a couple more hours.
88
00:03:26,550 --> 00:03:29,752
This cowboy costume your dad
sold me wasn't cheap.
89
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,855
Well, you probably have time
for a lemonade.
90
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,158
Why, you must be parched
after that gruelin' journey
91
00:03:36,225 --> 00:03:38,226
travelin' across the prairie.
92
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:45,599
No, I keep a jug
of water in my van...
93
00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:48,369
And an empty jug, just in case
I get stuck in traffic.
94
00:03:49,972 --> 00:03:51,572
All right.
95
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,340
Wait, Kyle...
96
00:03:56,211 --> 00:03:57,578
Is there an eyelash
in my eye?
97
00:04:02,349 --> 00:04:05,618
Well, I can't really see
if you keep your eyes closed.
98
00:04:06,687 --> 00:04:09,990
You're not really good at taking
subtle hints, are you, Kyle?
99
00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:12,926
I might be. Try me.
100
00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:16,361
I've been giving you one.
101
00:04:18,498 --> 00:04:19,799
I get it.
102
00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:22,134
I have an eyelash in my eye.
103
00:04:26,472 --> 00:04:28,140
Well, I'd better hit it.
104
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:29,709
It's always awkward
when I run into your sister,
105
00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:31,576
since we used to date
and all.
106
00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:34,345
Yeah, well, I'm--I'm pretty sure
Kristin's moved on, Kyle.
107
00:04:34,413 --> 00:04:37,481
Nice try, Mandy.
I saw her here yesterday.
108
00:04:51,395 --> 00:04:52,029
Hey.
109
00:04:52,097 --> 00:04:53,263
What are you lookin' at
out there?
110
00:04:53,331 --> 00:04:56,900
Oh. just... Kyle.
111
00:04:59,369 --> 00:05:01,438
He's emptying a jug.
112
00:05:04,973 --> 00:05:06,876
I hope it's the one
with the water.
113
00:05:06,944 --> 00:05:08,845
What?
114
00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:10,947
Um... I gotta go work
on a term paper.
115
00:05:11,014 --> 00:05:13,883
That's a thing, right?
Hmm.
116
00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:16,018
Uh, hey, hey, hey.
Hang on.
117
00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:17,386
Wait, wait, wait.
118
00:05:17,454 --> 00:05:19,888
Is there something going on
between you and Kyle?
119
00:05:22,424 --> 00:05:24,392
Yeah.
120
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:25,827
- Me and Kyle?
- Yeah.
121
00:05:25,895 --> 00:05:28,663
Mom, yeah. You wish.
122
00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:31,566
I don't. I really don't.
No.
123
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:33,969
It's just that he
walked you to the door,
124
00:05:34,036 --> 00:05:35,669
and where I come from,
125
00:05:35,737 --> 00:05:38,639
that means he's hot
for what you got.
126
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,775
Ew. Please never
say that again.
127
00:05:43,245 --> 00:05:45,813
Do you think that he's,
like... hot for what I've got?
128
00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:47,782
Nope. Still gross,
even when I say it.
129
00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:50,251
Honey, you know what?
Before this goes any further,
130
00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:51,685
you--you really need
to consider
131
00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:53,620
- how this is gonna affect our family.
- I know.
132
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,689
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm gonna talk to Kristin.
133
00:05:55,757 --> 00:05:58,992
That's not the family member
I'm worried about.
134
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,694
I have to talk to Dad?
135
00:06:00,762 --> 00:06:02,128
Hell, no.
136
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,830
Oh, thank God.
137
00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:05,565
- No, do not talk to your father.
- Okay.
138
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,500
Unless, of course, this thing
with Kyle gets serious,
139
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,968
and then we'll... we'll pull him
aside at the church
140
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,704
and tell him who
the groom's gonna be.
141
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,810
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
142
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,211
Where's Boyd?
143
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,280
Well, he's supposed
to be with me,
144
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,715
but instead,
he's with your dad,
145
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:26,284
re-enacting the grim slaughter
of the Native Americans.
146
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,753
Well, as long as
he's having fun.
147
00:06:29,521 --> 00:06:31,956
I need you to sign something.
My lawyer drew it up.
148
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:33,958
- You have a lawyer?
- Yeah.
149
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:36,761
- Wow. - I've got a buddy
whose sister's a lawyer.
150
00:06:37,129 --> 00:06:40,531
Of course, he's in jail,
so she's not a very good one.
151
00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:43,901
Anyway, it says you need to let
me have Boyd two days a week,
152
00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:45,669
and one weekend every month.
153
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:48,206
But that's what we already do.
Why do we need a contract?
154
00:06:48,273 --> 00:06:51,442
So I'm legally protected in that
one-in-a-million scenario
155
00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:54,278
where your dad doesn't give
a crap what we agreed to.
156
00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:56,412
Ryan, this isn't
necessary, okay?
157
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,415
I'll talk to Dad. He won't take
Boyd on one of your days again.
158
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:00,917
- Oh, you're gonna talk to him?
- Yeah.
159
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,953
Oh, well, then, why didn't
you just say so? Problem solved.
160
00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:05,588
Sign here, initial there, there, and there.
161
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:08,992
Why is this suddenly
so important to you?
162
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:11,061
Daddy, I took out an Indian!
163
00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:14,463
Oh.
164
00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:15,831
That's why.
Come on, buddy.
165
00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:17,299
Actually, he just winged him.
166
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:20,302
I said it was a kill shot
to build his self-esteem.
167
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:23,072
Dad, if it's Ryan's day,
you have to check with him
168
00:07:23,139 --> 00:07:25,574
before you take Boyd
on one of your adventures.
169
00:07:25,641 --> 00:07:26,909
I'm not asking
chief featherbrain
170
00:07:26,977 --> 00:07:29,610
permission to take
my grandson out.
171
00:07:29,678 --> 00:07:31,712
He's not a featherbrain,
Dad.
172
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:33,948
He's not a chief, either.
173
00:07:34,016 --> 00:07:37,051
But it paints a picture.
174
00:07:37,119 --> 00:07:38,686
Hey, Eve, great rehearsal today.
175
00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:41,990
But tomorrow, instead of
pistol-pistol-rifle-rifle-knife,
176
00:07:42,057 --> 00:07:44,925
I wanna go to pistol-pistol-
rifle-hatchet-knife.
177
00:07:45,993 --> 00:07:48,661
Dad, listen, I don't wanna be
Annie Oakley anymore.
178
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:50,998
That's okay. Well stick with
pistol-pistol-rifle-rifle-knife.
179
00:07:51,065 --> 00:07:52,766
I'm sorry. I just don't want
to participate
180
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:54,434
in a barbaric celebration of genocide.
181
00:07:54,502 --> 00:07:55,936
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
182
00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:58,438
You've been talking
to chief featherbrain, right?
183
00:07:58,506 --> 00:08:00,339
How do you know
it was Ryan?
184
00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:02,808
How did you know
who I meant by "featherbrain"?
185
00:08:10,917 --> 00:08:13,419
Okay. Got some new pages
for everybody.
186
00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:18,156
See if I can't make this script
a little less offensive.
187
00:08:18,224 --> 00:08:21,092
I was up all last night
learning my line.
188
00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:23,545
Relax. We've left in
"Hyah!" and "Giddyap!"
189
00:08:23,613 --> 00:08:26,181
But every reference to "injun,"
190
00:08:26,249 --> 00:08:28,484
"merciless savages,"
or "redskin"
191
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:32,988
is now gonna be referred to
as just... "People."
192
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,858
Mike, they're being chased
by a horde of angry indians.
193
00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:38,092
You can't say,
"people are after us."
194
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:40,327
It sounds like
it's the I.R.S.
195
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,500
Where--where's my new
Annie Oakley?
196
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,835
You can't replace Eve.
Eve is Annie Oakley.
197
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,871
- She's the best Annie Oakley--
- I'm here.
198
00:08:49,938 --> 00:08:53,039
Made some adjustments
to the costume.
199
00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:56,276
Although this'll work, too.
200
00:08:56,343 --> 00:08:57,677
What are you doing
with that?
201
00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:00,179
When did this turn into
"Girls Gone Wild Wild West"?
202
00:09:02,683 --> 00:09:06,620
Grandpa, I gotta go
to the bathroom.
203
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:07,854
Boyd, you should have
thought of that
204
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,455
before we left Dodge City.
205
00:09:09,523 --> 00:09:11,156
All right, everybody...
206
00:09:11,224 --> 00:09:12,157
From the top.
207
00:09:13,325 --> 00:09:14,627
Hyah!
208
00:09:14,694 --> 00:09:18,631
This place is lousy
with... people!
209
00:09:18,698 --> 00:09:20,966
Hyah! Giddyap!
210
00:09:22,602 --> 00:09:24,236
Cue Annie Oakley!
211
00:09:38,183 --> 00:09:39,551
Ahh.
212
00:09:40,118 --> 00:09:41,084
Kyle!
213
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:44,354
You've makin' it too bouncy!
214
00:09:45,924 --> 00:09:47,658
Sorry.
215
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,860
And the name's Festus.
216
00:09:49,928 --> 00:09:52,162
Hey, Festus! What, did you put
the coach on cruise control?
217
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:55,031
You know, it's supposed to be
movin' right now.
218
00:09:55,099 --> 00:09:56,566
Annie, you're supposed to be
defending the coach.
219
00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:58,768
Ooh, with what?
I forgot my gun.
220
00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,470
I see that.
221
00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:01,871
Don't answer a call
during a shootout.
222
00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:02,772
It's just a text, Dad.
223
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,406
Aw, look at Tegan's new puppy!
224
00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:08,277
Grandpa?
225
00:10:08,345 --> 00:10:09,812
All right. Take five,
everybody.
226
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,147
The little peashooter's
gotta pee here.
227
00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:13,949
Listen, when I get back,
228
00:10:14,016 --> 00:10:16,217
I want you to act
more like Eve. Come on.
229
00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:17,586
I'll do my best, sir.
230
00:10:17,653 --> 00:10:19,087
Talkin' to Mandy.
231
00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:23,091
Yeah. Ah.
232
00:10:23,158 --> 00:10:24,659
I look ridiculous.
233
00:10:24,727 --> 00:10:28,129
- No. You're the prettiest
Annie Oakley ever. - Aw.
234
00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:29,630
Can't believe
I'm saying this,
235
00:10:29,698 --> 00:10:31,465
but I feel like this costume's
just a little too tight.
236
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:32,666
What do you think?
237
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,722
Eve, you've
gotta be Annie Oakley.
238
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,725
I fell off the stagecoach,
like, three times today,
239
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,659
and I'm pretty sure
I broke my femur.
240
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:07,799
If your femur's up there,
it's not broken. It's lost.
241
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:11,703
I don't need a lecture from you
on bone-ology right now, okay?
242
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:14,640
Please, you gotta be
Annie Oakley.
243
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,674
She's badass
when you do it.
244
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,744
- Nobody can do it as good as--
- I can't stand watching you with Kyle, okay?
245
00:11:19,811 --> 00:11:21,245
What?
246
00:11:21,312 --> 00:11:23,147
Yeah. That's why
I quit the show, all right?
247
00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:25,583
I don't know why
you have to go flirting
248
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,284
with Kristin's ex-boyfriend.
It's gross.
249
00:11:27,852 --> 00:11:29,219
Why do you care?
250
00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:30,988
Because I know
what's going on,
251
00:11:31,056 --> 00:11:34,724
and I--every time I see Kris,
I feel like I'm lying to her.
252
00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:36,092
Okay. I'm sorry.
253
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,761
I'm just finding it
really hard to tell Kristin.
254
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:39,128
Tell me what?
255
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:44,701
Mandy's making moves on Kyle.
256
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,502
What?
257
00:11:46,571 --> 00:11:49,538
See? It wasn't that hard.
Now you try it.
258
00:11:54,744 --> 00:11:57,245
I'm making moves on Kyle.
259
00:11:58,313 --> 00:11:59,448
Oh.
260
00:11:59,515 --> 00:12:02,217
But you're cool
with that, right?
261
00:12:02,285 --> 00:12:05,152
Um, no. Not so cool.
262
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:07,555
Actually, I'm feeling
pretty uncool about that.
263
00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:09,757
Why? You two broke up,
like, forever ago.
264
00:12:09,825 --> 00:12:11,125
I haven't walked
the dog in a while.
265
00:12:11,193 --> 00:12:12,259
That doesn't mean it's okay
to make out with him
266
00:12:12,327 --> 00:12:14,161
behind the mini-mart.
267
00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:17,832
What?
268
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,433
Right. You--you know
what I'm saying.
269
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:21,034
Well, out--out of all the guys
in the world,
270
00:12:21,102 --> 00:12:23,103
why are you after Kyle?
271
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:25,271
Okay, first of all, I don't know
all the guys in the world.
272
00:12:25,339 --> 00:12:27,440
But not for lack of trying.
273
00:12:27,508 --> 00:12:29,610
And secondly, why do you care?
274
00:12:29,677 --> 00:12:31,812
You're clearly getting
back together with Ryan.
275
00:12:31,879 --> 00:12:34,214
Uh, what?
Where is that coming from?
276
00:12:34,281 --> 00:12:36,416
Oh, come on.
It's pretty obvious. Am I right?
277
00:12:36,484 --> 00:12:38,017
You and Ryan really connect.
278
00:12:38,085 --> 00:12:40,052
Me and Kyle really connect.
It's great.
279
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,521
I mean, Kyle and I can, like...
280
00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:45,390
Can finish
each other's sentences.
281
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:46,759
Well,
that's certainly something
282
00:12:46,827 --> 00:12:48,560
neither of you can do
on your own.
283
00:12:53,665 --> 00:12:56,601
He makes me feel...
284
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:59,938
Special.
See? Anyone can do it.
285
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,441
Okay, I just wanna be sure
286
00:13:03,509 --> 00:13:05,076
that you're not gonna
hurt him, okay?
287
00:13:05,144 --> 00:13:06,477
Kyle's a really sweet guy.
288
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:08,312
He--he taught Boyd
the alphabet...
289
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:11,248
Give or take
a-a few letters.
290
00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:13,483
Kris, trust me.
291
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:16,120
I would never hurt Kyle.
292
00:13:16,687 --> 00:13:19,422
Okay. Then you have
my blessing.
293
00:13:22,861 --> 00:13:25,194
So you and I are cool?
294
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,229
I guess we are now.
295
00:13:27,297 --> 00:13:28,931
The precedent's been set.
296
00:13:29,499 --> 00:13:35,071
All your ex-boyfriends are
on Eve Baxter's radar.
297
00:13:35,139 --> 00:13:37,506
Too bad they're all
stupid and gross.
298
00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,913
- Oh. Hey.
- Hi.
299
00:13:44,981 --> 00:13:46,848
Uh, you're supposed to be
picking up Boyd from Trevor's.
300
00:13:46,916 --> 00:13:48,216
Yeah, I got
a couple of minutes.
301
00:13:48,284 --> 00:13:51,252
They're watching "Ellen"
with Trevor's two moms.
302
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,422
Did you get a chance
to sign those papers?
303
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:56,424
I printed them again in case,
you know, you lost them
304
00:13:56,492 --> 00:13:57,424
or burned them.
305
00:13:57,492 --> 00:13:59,126
Excuse me. What papers?
306
00:13:59,194 --> 00:14:00,861
Or if he
got a hold of them.
307
00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:03,597
Be careful when
you're signing papers.
308
00:14:03,665 --> 00:14:06,801
That's how I got
my eyes on a donor list.
309
00:14:06,868 --> 00:14:08,635
May I?
310
00:14:08,704 --> 00:14:10,370
- Well, you're gonna find out anyway.
- Yeah?
311
00:14:10,438 --> 00:14:14,373
I want to have it in writing
that I get time with Boyd.
312
00:14:14,441 --> 00:14:16,576
Well, that sounds reasonable.
313
00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:18,344
Oh, look, I tripped.
314
00:14:18,412 --> 00:14:21,214
- Oh, they went into the firepl--oh.
- Dad, are you serious?
315
00:14:21,281 --> 00:14:23,649
Oh, with all that work
you put into it.
316
00:14:24,218 --> 00:14:27,087
Look at that. They--
it all burned. Look--
317
00:14:27,154 --> 00:14:28,554
I can do this
all night, Mike.
318
00:14:28,622 --> 00:14:30,155
Well, one more time,
319
00:14:30,223 --> 00:14:33,291
and then I'm gonna have to
borrow your printer.
320
00:14:33,359 --> 00:14:34,893
Look, I know
when it comes to Boyd,
321
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,961
that I've made some mistakes.
322
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,296
Hey,
don't beat yourself up.
323
00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:41,766
I got a couple of teamsters
that owe me a favor.
324
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:44,703
You left her and the boy
for three years.
325
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,504
You got no rights
with that kid.
326
00:14:46,572 --> 00:14:48,840
Are you ever gonna
let me off the hook, Mike?
327
00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:50,074
I mean, what ever happened to
328
00:14:50,142 --> 00:14:51,375
"We shouldn't
have to keep apologizing
329
00:14:51,443 --> 00:14:53,043
for our mistakes from the past"?
330
00:14:53,111 --> 00:14:54,077
You're the one
that's holding a grudge.
331
00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:55,779
You're still mad at cowboys.
332
00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:58,014
Your cowboys wiped out a nation.
333
00:14:58,082 --> 00:15:00,417
- Oh, stop. - My big crime is what?
Being a scared teenager?
334
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:02,319
Dad, we were 17, okay?
We were both freaking out.
335
00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:03,954
And for the record,
when I got pregnant,
336
00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:06,557
Ryan said he would support me
in whatever choice I made.
337
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:09,259
Even if that choice
meant not having Boyd.
338
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,129
Dad, that is--
that is so not fair.
339
00:15:13,196 --> 00:15:14,731
Well,
it's true though, right?
340
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:16,399
'Cause you didn't get
the choice you wanted,
341
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:18,768
- you ran out on her.
- Well, I'm not going anywhere now.
342
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,336
Except for right now,
343
00:15:20,404 --> 00:15:23,572
'cause I have to pick up Boyd
from the lesbians.
344
00:15:35,955 --> 00:15:37,354
Here you go, buddy.
345
00:15:37,422 --> 00:15:39,490
Dad, I thought we were
gonna play indians.
346
00:15:39,557 --> 00:15:40,724
Well, we are playing indians.
347
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:43,327
Now eat your acorn mash.
348
00:15:43,395 --> 00:15:45,963
Can we scalp somebody?
349
00:15:46,031 --> 00:15:47,531
We're not gonna do that.
350
00:15:47,599 --> 00:15:48,933
Uh, violence was
just a tiny part
351
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,768
of most Native American
cultures.
352
00:15:50,835 --> 00:15:53,069
Yeah. The fun part.
353
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,337
Well, actually, there's lots
of fun parts, you know?
354
00:15:54,405 --> 00:15:56,472
Like, um, here,
check out this music.
355
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:01,711
Oh, wait, no.
That's not the good one.
356
00:16:06,317 --> 00:16:07,918
Now we're talking.
357
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:12,254
Oh, I hope
that's not the neighbors.
358
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:16,225
Mommy!
359
00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:18,227
Did you come to pick me up?
360
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:20,262
No, honey, you're spending
the night with your dad.
361
00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:22,264
Oh.
362
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,334
Hey, can you go
into the bedroom and play
363
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,835
while I talk to Daddy?
364
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:28,970
You can take
your acorn mash with you.
365
00:16:29,038 --> 00:16:30,704
Yeah, no, thanks.
366
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,342
Nice teepee.
367
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,609
I don't mean to nitpick,
368
00:16:35,677 --> 00:16:37,278
but it looks a lot
like the rocket ship
369
00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:39,113
you made for him last week.
370
00:16:39,181 --> 00:16:43,883
Yeah. Just trying to undo
some of the damage your dad did.
371
00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:45,986
Yeah. So am I.
372
00:16:46,054 --> 00:16:49,689
Listen, he...
He was way out of line today.
373
00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:53,160
Actually, Kris,
no, he wasn't.
374
00:16:54,963 --> 00:16:57,263
Everything your dad said
about me was true.
375
00:16:57,831 --> 00:17:02,168
And I can't even imagine a world
without Boyd in it now.
376
00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:04,870
All right. Well,
let's let the past go, okay?
377
00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:08,007
You want my dad to forgive you?
Why don't you forgive yourself?
378
00:17:09,609 --> 00:17:10,909
Here.
379
00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:14,813
You signed them?
380
00:17:14,881 --> 00:17:16,648
Yep.
381
00:17:18,117 --> 00:17:19,017
Thank you.
382
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:21,319
That means a lot to me.
383
00:17:21,387 --> 00:17:27,593
Good. Because I've got
something for you to sign.
384
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:28,994
What--what is this?
385
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:30,461
Uh, my list of demands.
386
00:17:30,529 --> 00:17:33,498
It says, among other things,
that at least twice a week,
387
00:17:33,565 --> 00:17:35,232
you have to ask me
how my day was
388
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,502
and actually listen
to the answer.
389
00:17:37,569 --> 00:17:39,336
Don't I already do this?
390
00:17:39,404 --> 00:17:41,138
Yeah. I want it in writing.
391
00:17:42,374 --> 00:17:43,273
Fair enough.
392
00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:47,110
So... how was your day?
393
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,184
Let the record reflect
that I asked.
394
00:18:00,858 --> 00:18:02,558
Howdy, partners!
395
00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:03,792
Howdy!
396
00:18:06,496 --> 00:18:07,963
Thank you!
Thank you for coming by
397
00:18:08,031 --> 00:18:10,566
to celebrate Buffalo Bill Cody's
birthday with us. Thank you.
398
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:13,168
Now all the bows and arrows
from the show
399
00:18:13,236 --> 00:18:18,239
will be on display alongside
their modern-day counterparts.
400
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,807
All right? Now believe me,
401
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:21,910
if the Apache had carried
this baby here,
402
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:24,612
we'd be celebrating
Geronimo's birthday.
403
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,982
Buffalo Bill was most famous
for his Wild West show...
404
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,383
Mandy, you're in
the wrong costume.
405
00:18:29,451 --> 00:18:31,218
You're Annie Oakley, remember?
406
00:18:31,286 --> 00:18:33,387
Not anymore.
407
00:18:33,455 --> 00:18:35,889
This costume's only big enough
for one Annie Oakley...
408
00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,223
Even then, barely.
409
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:38,892
All right.
410
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,996
All right. Let's shoot some
people, people!
411
00:18:43,064 --> 00:18:45,098
She is a real beauty.
412
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:49,969
That's a Winchester 30-30.
Yeah, it's a beautiful rifle.
413
00:18:50,037 --> 00:18:53,439
So enjoy yourselves.
But stick around afterwards.
414
00:18:53,506 --> 00:18:55,942
There's a bison petting zoo
in the parking lot...
415
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,844
Complimentary Buffalo wings.
416
00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:01,581
I chopped them off
the buffalos myself.
417
00:19:01,648 --> 00:19:03,515
They're huge.
418
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:08,219
Never works.
Why doesn't that work?
419
00:19:10,189 --> 00:19:11,189
Hyah!
420
00:19:11,256 --> 00:19:12,390
Here they come!
421
00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:14,425
Faster!
They're gaining on us!
422
00:19:16,062 --> 00:19:18,162
Aah! Aah.
423
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:20,932
Aah!
424
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,101
Oh, mercy!
We're all going to die!
425
00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:25,435
Whoo! Whoo!
426
00:19:25,503 --> 00:19:26,870
You'll be safe, little missy,
427
00:19:26,938 --> 00:19:29,640
or my name ain't Annie Oakley!
428
00:19:33,144 --> 00:19:34,678
Don't shoot
the Native Americans.
429
00:19:34,746 --> 00:19:37,547
They are mad, but they have
every right to be,
430
00:19:37,615 --> 00:19:39,882
because we're stealing
their land!
431
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,419
Uh, Mike, aren't we taking political
correctness...
432
00:19:43,487 --> 00:19:45,088
- ...too far here?
- I didn't write that line.
433
00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:45,989
Then who did?
434
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:56,064
Thank you,
kind Native American,
435
00:19:56,132 --> 00:19:58,834
for helping me find my hat.
436
00:19:58,901 --> 00:20:01,269
It's a fine hat.
Weatherproof and stylish.
437
00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:04,572
On sale now at Outdoor Man.
438
00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:08,543
Hmm. Say what you want
about indians, Mike,
439
00:20:08,611 --> 00:20:10,111
but they sure now how
to move some hats.
440
00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:25,571
So we paid tribute
to Buffalo Bill Cody
441
00:20:25,639 --> 00:20:27,639
and didn't ruffle any feathers.
442
00:20:27,706 --> 00:20:30,375
Yeah. Congratulations, honey.
Fiberglass horses
443
00:20:30,442 --> 00:20:32,744
and a schoolmarm
with a smartphone.
444
00:20:32,812 --> 00:20:35,180
You really brought the Old West
back to life.
445
00:20:35,248 --> 00:20:36,481
Worked out pretty well.
Yeah.
446
00:20:36,548 --> 00:20:39,350
Up until just now.
447
00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:41,519
Does he know
we sell guns here?
448
00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:43,453
You know, why--why don't you go
get Boyd off the horse?
449
00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:44,922
Just go. Come on.
450
00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:54,181
I liked how you improvised
that extra "hyah!" Out there.
451
00:20:54,499 --> 00:20:59,234
Thanks. I was really
in the zone.
452
00:20:59,303 --> 00:21:01,337
Mandy, I've gotta
ask you something.
453
00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:03,339
We've been hanging out
a lot lately.
454
00:21:03,407 --> 00:21:06,375
And I'm not so good
at picking up on hints.
455
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,611
Are we becoming
really good friends,
456
00:21:08,679 --> 00:21:09,978
or is this--
457
00:21:12,716 --> 00:21:13,982
that answers that.
458
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,331
Call the donor people.
459
00:21:29,398 --> 00:21:32,233
Just have them rip
my eyes out right now.
460
00:21:32,234 --> 00:21:37,540
Sync & corrections by Alice
34270
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