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1
00:00:01,178 --> 00:00:02,771
I'll open the pot, gentlemen.
2
00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:04,465
- I'm in...
- Stay...
3
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:05,776
I'll stay...
4
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,293
- How many cards?
- Two...
5
00:00:09,304 --> 00:00:10,718
- And you... ?
- Three...
6
00:00:12,129 --> 00:00:13,339
One...
7
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,852
One... and one here.
8
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,074
Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET
9
00:00:22,409 --> 00:00:24,529
- 30.000 lire...
- No... I'm out!
10
00:00:24,631 --> 00:00:27,957
- I raise another 30...
- I'm out!
11
00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:30,475
- Let's have a look...
- A pair of aces!
12
00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:31,890
3 Jacks!
13
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:46,797
DOES THE LADY PLAY SCOPA WELL?
[aka POKER IN BED]
14
00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:48,719
- 20.000...
- I'm out!
15
00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:54,964
120.000...
16
00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:57,700
Let's have a look!
17
00:00:57,901 --> 00:00:59,501
3 aces!
18
00:01:00,107 --> 00:01:01,621
Full house!
19
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,057
200.000
20
00:01:20,858 --> 00:01:22,358
600.000
21
00:01:26,311 --> 00:01:27,031
[Touch wood]
22
00:01:27,232 --> 00:01:28,732
1.600.000
23
00:01:28,932 --> 00:01:30,155
I'll raise...
24
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,956
2.400.000
25
00:01:33,164 --> 00:01:34,675
Let's have a look...
26
00:01:35,381 --> 00:01:37,098
4 Aces!
27
00:01:37,904 --> 00:01:41,531
I got nothing... except a straight flush!
28
00:01:57,202 --> 00:02:01,874
- You can't win 'em all!
- I don't seem to win any...
29
00:02:02,975 --> 00:02:05,330
- Here...
- Thank you!
30
00:02:05,331 --> 00:02:08,054
- 3.810.000...
- It was just a stroke of luck, my boy!
31
00:02:08,155 --> 00:02:09,547
- I'll say...
- So long!
32
00:02:09,548 --> 00:02:11,059
Tomorrow, my friend...
33
00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:14,503
Thanks for a nice time... goodbye.
34
00:02:22,954 --> 00:02:26,985
- Have you noticed, he always loses to me!
- I'd wait on cashing that check, if I were you.
35
00:02:26,986 --> 00:02:30,918
Why? It's always been good before.
You're not trying to put a curse on it, are you?
36
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:35,150
No, of course. But that guy's been
on a losing streak for a long, long time!
37
00:02:35,558 --> 00:02:40,896
He had to take out a second mortage on his store.
I got that straight from his junior partner...
38
00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:44,323
Well, rumors don't frighten me, because
I know he can get money when the chips are down!
39
00:03:42,582 --> 00:03:44,401
Alright, come on Michele. Let's go...
40
00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:48,329
Give me a double!
How are you, Camillo?
41
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:53,874
- I don't believe it! I don't believe it!
- That doesn't make the slightest difference...
42
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:59,419
When I heard how much you lost the other
night - 2.600.000 - I couldn't believe my ears.
43
00:03:59,621 --> 00:04:01,435
- Don't blame me!
- Yeah? Then who's to blame?
44
00:04:01,436 --> 00:04:02,948
- Well... I nominate you!
- Oh, you do?
45
00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:04,663
Sure... you're the person who gave me these!
46
00:04:04,664 --> 00:04:06,680
- So... ?
- You gave me these as a good luck charm.
47
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:10,712
That was all bullshit! You told me
these charms were a player's best friend.
48
00:04:10,713 --> 00:04:15,048
"Knock on wood - you'll make it good."
I ought to punch your face in, you big liar.
49
00:04:14,049 --> 00:04:16,972
You ought to be drawn and quartered!
Those charms are worthless!
50
00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:19,996
- I don't ever want to see them again!
- These were my grandfather's charms.
51
00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:23,021
- He always carried these when he won at cards!
- Sure, for games like rummy or crazy eights.
52
00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:26,054
My only interest is poker. Remember
when we used to play a game called "scopa"?
53
00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:30,389
Nobody plays that anymore. Poker is the
only game today that requires intelligence.
54
00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:36,423
- If you don't have that, then don't sit down at the table!
- In your case, it's got nothing to do with intelligence!
55
00:04:36,524 --> 00:04:38,757
Oh, a natural loser, am I? Don't tell
that to my buddies over at the social club.
56
00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:43,986
- My powers as a gambler are completely intact!
- Is that also true about your other powers?
57
00:04:43,987 --> 00:04:44,996
What's that?
58
00:04:45,497 --> 00:04:49,526
- ... and it's that long!
- That's nothing. The tail on our retriever was that long!
59
00:04:49,534 --> 00:04:52,350
They're only talking about dogs.
They don't know anything about me!
60
00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:55,574
- Concerned about length, Michele?
- You mind my own business!
61
00:04:56,692 --> 00:05:02,834
Cut it out! Stop worrying. We have a
great business, and we're making good money.
62
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:08,083
Aptly stated - we're making money. Only
problem is, we can't pay the debts that are piling up!
63
00:05:08,084 --> 00:05:13,019
- That poker game is going to be our downfall!
- Don't worry ... I'll pay them. I'll pay them.
64
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,337
The store will save us, you'll see.
65
00:05:15,544 --> 00:05:17,963
Get serious! You know what
the people around town are calling us?
66
00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:19,476
- It can't be that bad...
- A couple of bums!
67
00:05:19,477 --> 00:05:21,090
- A couple of what?
- That's what they think of us!
68
00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:24,513
- People are calling us bums?
- Including me! Why me?
69
00:05:24,514 --> 00:05:25,325
- And why me?
- It's unfair!
70
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,846
You should be glad they call you a bum!
It means free publicity...
71
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:31,979
- Let's forget about it. We'll talk about it another time.
- Yeah... tomorrow's another day.
72
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:36,312
If anyone tries to cash that last check you wrote,
we'll find ourselves peddling our asses out on the street.
73
00:05:36,313 --> 00:05:38,634
Wait a minute.
Would you mind repeating that?
74
00:05:38,635 --> 00:05:41,257
If anyone tries to cash that
check, we'll find ourselves where?
75
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,375
- Peddling our asses?
- Bravo! You're a genius, my bald-headed friend!
76
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,097
Bravo, Peppino!
A marvelous idea, peddling our asses!
77
00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:49,220
Although I'll have to consult with someone who's
had a lot of experience in that area, the whore Marisa.
78
00:05:50,786 --> 00:05:55,977
Hey, Michele, where the hell have you been all this
time? Sit down and tell me what you've been up to.
79
00:05:55,978 --> 00:05:59,405
- Well, I've got the store, and I've...
- I'm so glad you've come to...
80
00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:04,538
Please, leave my leg alone!
No more of that grabbing at my... my leg.
81
00:06:05,144 --> 00:06:06,559
You used to tell me how much you liked it!
82
00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:08,883
- The pain is just a little more than I can stand.
- I can't figure you out!
83
00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:13,923
You walk in here without even calling
ahead to see if I'm busy with a client.
84
00:06:13,924 --> 00:06:17,351
You just snap your fingers,
and expect me to make time for you.
85
00:06:17,352 --> 00:06:20,880
Will you shut up for a moment, Marisa!
I'm here because I need your help.
86
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,804
- You see, I'm in a hell of a lot of trouble.
- I will... only... will you swear you love me?
87
00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:27,635
Darling! Why do you even ask?
There's never been anyone but you!
88
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,857
Tell me... is Caminata
supposed to come here today?
89
00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:33,577
He comes every other Tuesday. Never on Monday!
90
00:06:33,678 --> 00:06:35,692
That dirty motherfucker!
91
00:06:36,199 --> 00:06:40,533
Oh, I love it!
Come here and talk dirty to me again!
92
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:44,566
Slut! Whore! Prostitute!
93
00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:46,784
- Filthy cunt...
- I love it! I love it!
94
00:06:46,785 --> 00:06:51,521
- Are you sure he won't walk in?
- Calm down... he never comes without calling first.
95
00:06:51,624 --> 00:06:57,369
- Are you sure he'll call?
- Are you afraid of that fat old windbag, Michele?
96
00:06:57,370 --> 00:07:02,409
Am I afraid? Don't be ridiculous! It's just
that he has a check of mine, and I need it back.
97
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:05,334
Don't bother explaining it. I'll murder
you if you've been playing cards again!
98
00:07:05,435 --> 00:07:07,953
Go ahead and murder me, darling.
That would almost wipe me out.
99
00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:10,678
- You still haven't learned how to play?
- If he cashes my check, I'll...
100
00:07:10,679 --> 00:07:17,029
Don't worry about the money. I offer reasonable
interest rates to my clients who are a little short.
101
00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:20,155
- I offer long-term credit...
- I'm glad to know that!
102
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:25,498
- Marisa! Get this hound off of me!
- You said he never came on Monday...
103
00:07:25,499 --> 00:07:28,628
- Here, hide under the bed!
- I can't fit under here...
104
00:07:28,729 --> 00:07:31,049
Yes you can. They all do.
I'll get rid of him...
105
00:07:34,028 --> 00:07:37,052
Little beast! Vicious bitch!
That mutt ought to be locked up!
106
00:07:37,053 --> 00:07:41,387
She's the best argument for
vivisection that's ever been invented!
107
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:45,107
What's the matter with her?
Why does she get so excited? It's a disgrace!
108
00:07:45,408 --> 00:07:51,153
- Well, I warned you to be careful.
- What good is that when there's a dragon in the entry?
109
00:07:50,154 --> 00:07:54,597
She sank her fangs into my leg, and
tore my pants! Look at them ... they were new, too.
110
00:07:54,698 --> 00:07:57,714
What's the matter with you today, honey?
Are you nervous about something?
111
00:07:57,715 --> 00:07:59,630
You can tell me, honey!
112
00:08:03,764 --> 00:08:06,889
I've asked you never to grab my thighs.
You know I'm tender!
113
00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:13,232
Now don't pout! You know I don't like it when you
pout. Come on, Marisa, I don't have much time today!
114
00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:18,271
Why don't you just get out! You're all upset
about something, and then you come here anyway!
115
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,006
And then you tell me you're in a hurry! What
do you think this is, the express check-out lane?
116
00:08:21,107 --> 00:08:25,138
Marisa, don't give me a hard time today!
I have the tax people on my back.
117
00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:29,373
They're coming to the factory to check the books.
Thank God for my friend in City Hall...
118
00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:33,607
... or they would have walked in unannounced.
So have a heart, Marisa - forget I ever hit you.
119
00:08:33,608 --> 00:08:37,133
Of all your patrons, you should
realize that I'm your ace in the hole.
120
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,034
What?
121
00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:41,169
The time you set aside for me doesn't always work.
And you've offered no alternative other than evenings.
122
00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:45,293
You drive me crazy. Now come on,
darling, because I have to leave soon.
123
00:08:45,294 --> 00:08:48,527
Hey! Get lost! I'm not impressed
by the fact that you have friends in City Hall!
124
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,648
If you're in such a hurry,
why don't you go fuck the tax collector?
125
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:55,790
No, Marisa... let me underdress you.
You're beautiful, Marisa. My beautiful Marisa...
126
00:08:55,791 --> 00:08:58,613
Time is money for both of us!
127
00:08:58,614 --> 00:09:02,847
There...
You know I have to fit you in as best I can.
128
00:09:02,848 --> 00:09:06,679
My darling, don't begrudge me the
few minutes I have free during a busy week!
129
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:09,905
You know how I like it.
Yes! Touch me there...
130
00:09:09,906 --> 00:09:13,535
Oh... I love it! Yes! Touch me there!
You know how to do it!
131
00:09:13,737 --> 00:09:15,955
More! Yes! You're wonderful!
132
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,173
It's never been like this before!
133
00:09:19,974 --> 00:09:21,374
What's that?
134
00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:24,718
The telephone - it's for me.
I told them to call me here.
135
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:31,169
Hello! Ah, Soreno, yes!
It's Zacharia, my friend at City Hall.
136
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,489
In case anything came up,
I told him where he could reach me.
137
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:37,723
I'm here... those tax people
made the appointment, just like you said.
138
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:41,657
No way! I'm ready for them now.
I take it you want your check?
139
00:09:41,858 --> 00:09:42,958
Speak up...
140
00:09:42,959 --> 00:09:48,006
Who's check? The one that guy from
Naples gave me last night at the poker game.
141
00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:51,837
Sure it's good!
He's too stupid to write a bum check.
142
00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:57,778
No... I don't have it. I passed it on to
that Nascimbeni woman to pay for some milk.
143
00:09:57,783 --> 00:10:01,514
No, I'll write you out another
check when we meet for poker. Goodbye...
144
00:10:02,924 --> 00:10:05,749
Now, Marisa ... do me like you used to do!
145
00:10:06,254 --> 00:10:11,496
Get those drums pounding in my brain!
Boom, boom, boom...
146
00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:19,560
- Oh, gently, gently!
- I'll make it, unless your foot has changed size.
147
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:21,980
It's the same as you always wear. Can't you...
148
00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:24,499
... put it further in?
149
00:10:25,302 --> 00:10:26,516
Just a little more...
150
00:10:26,935 --> 00:10:28,452
There it goes!
151
00:10:30,753 --> 00:10:33,670
How does it feel? Comfortable?
152
00:10:34,072 --> 00:10:36,194
A bit snug, Mister Michele.
153
00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:39,924
The sacrifices you ladies
make in the cause of beauty.
154
00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:43,147
- They feel better already. I'll take them.
- I think you'll be happy with them.
155
00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:47,785
I'm also looking for something I can wear
this summer. Something lightweight and sporty.
156
00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:50,307
- Open toed...
- Yes, open toed. Tonino!
157
00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:53,532
- You calling me, sir?
- You think is a good time to be stirring up dust?
158
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:57,363
My back was turned, like you told me
to do when a lady is trying on a pair of...
159
00:10:57,364 --> 00:11:00,086
Forget what I said. the point is,
not to be dusting when I'm with a client.
160
00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:03,514
- Now bring me those shoes I asked for.
- Ah! I understand... I brought them over already.
161
00:11:03,515 --> 00:11:06,538
- They're mountain-climbing boots.
- Who needs mountain-climbing boots?
162
00:11:06,539 --> 00:11:10,672
You ought to have your head examined.
The lady has beautifully tiny feet ...
163
00:11:10,673 --> 00:11:12,790
... so small they must have
been bound when she was a child.
164
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:15,512
Like she was brought up by Chinese.
Now get those 'Butterfly' sandals I asked for.
165
00:11:15,513 --> 00:11:17,334
22-D.
166
00:11:18,437 --> 00:11:22,066
It will be the perfect shoe for two lovely feet.
167
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:27,106
- Do you still have that house in Capri?
- Yes...
168
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:29,728
- By the beach, I imagine?
- Yes... it's nice and large.
169
00:11:30,129 --> 00:11:33,052
- Beg pardon... here you are, Mr. Michele!
- Perfect! This style is called 'Butterfly.'
170
00:11:33,758 --> 00:11:38,697
Quite elegant...
Tonino, don't you have something to do?
171
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,722
- What's the matter with you? Get to work!
- Oh, yeah... turn the back...
172
00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:43,456
That's right, go stir up some dust.
173
00:11:44,257 --> 00:11:45,957
And is your husband the same as ever?
174
00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:47,973
- Oh please! Don't speak about him!
- I understand...
175
00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:51,401
If every woman had such
beautiful legs, how lucky they'd be.
176
00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,019
These fit you like a glove!
177
00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:56,867
They may feel a little tight right now, but
you'll be surprised how much they'll loosen up.
178
00:11:57,072 --> 00:12:00,998
Like fine silk stockings,
they flatter your beautiful legs!
179
00:12:01,607 --> 00:12:11,665
The surprising fullness here, the lovely curve of
the calf, tapering here to the climax of the 'Butterfly.'
180
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,899
I would probably wear shorts, or
nothing less than a miniskirt, if I were you.
181
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,932
Legs like these deserve all the
exposure they can get. Don't you agree?
182
00:12:19,134 --> 00:12:21,654
Oh, your stocking is crooked!
That spoils the effect.
183
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:26,387
Just a quick twist, and
everything will be straight. Permit me...
184
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,316
A twist... and straight!
185
00:12:29,317 --> 00:12:33,243
Straightening a stocking isn't
something I do for everyone, but your legs...
186
00:12:33,444 --> 00:12:36,268
- Michele!
- What are you shouting about?
187
00:12:36,269 --> 00:12:38,889
Can't you see I'm busy with the lady?
Why are you interrupting?
188
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,906
What is it?
Some new shoes come in?
189
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:44,737
- Excuse me, ma'am, my partner is calling.
- Hurry back, because I'd like to try some more...
190
00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,552
When I get back, we'll try everything.
191
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:50,585
- Well, what is it?
- We're already in trouble, and you're fondling her thighs?
192
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:53,207
It's because of the trouble we're
in that I've been fondling her thighs.
193
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:57,038
She's rich! You recognize her?
Her husband is Fontonio Alorio.
194
00:12:58,349 --> 00:13:00,466
What do you want?
What are you doing here?
195
00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,483
- I don't know.
- Look at the cash register...
196
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,903
- ... there's no one watching the cash register!
- Why not put something in it to watch.
197
00:13:04,904 --> 00:13:07,524
Then put some money in it. Go, go!
There's nothing in the cash register?
198
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,541
- Are you telling me?
- This is getting to be a crisis!
199
00:13:09,342 --> 00:13:12,769
- You know that check has disappeared?
- And you think you'll find it on her thighs?
200
00:13:13,677 --> 00:13:17,104
Someone may overhear you. We're going to be
in real trouble the minute that check is deposited!
201
00:13:17,307 --> 00:13:21,331
Now you tell me what I'm supposed
to do if I can't play around with a lady...
202
00:13:21,332 --> 00:13:23,356
- There's Giulia Nascimbeni...
- I don't want to hear anyone mention her name!
203
00:13:23,558 --> 00:13:26,078
I won't have anything to do
with that portrait-painting vampire!
204
00:13:26,079 --> 00:13:30,212
That's what she was to me, a vampire! I almost
had to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion!
205
00:13:30,213 --> 00:13:33,934
I nearly died!
I don't even want to think about her!
206
00:13:34,141 --> 00:13:35,855
- Then don't turn around.
- What did you say?
207
00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:37,368
- Don't turn around!
- Why not?
208
00:13:37,369 --> 00:13:39,085
- She's right there!
- She'd never dare...
209
00:13:41,098 --> 00:13:43,719
Ah, Miss Giulia!
How nice of you to drop in.
210
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:47,150
- To what do we owe this pleasant surprise?
- Oh, it's pleasant, is it?
211
00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:48,651
Pleasant, thank you. Pleasant...
212
00:13:48,857 --> 00:13:55,711
I stopped by because your partner, Peppino, called
to let me know about the arrival of your new spring line.
213
00:13:55,712 --> 00:13:58,031
Then I have Peppino to thank for this visit.
214
00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:01,358
I'm looking for something I can
wear at night. Something in satin...
215
00:14:01,359 --> 00:14:04,584
- I'll be glad to show you...
- Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a hurry right now.
216
00:14:04,687 --> 00:14:10,732
Perhaps you could bring the shoes
around a little later? Say, 10:00 at my house?
217
00:14:10,738 --> 00:14:14,057
- This evening?
- Or tomorrow night...
218
00:14:14,162 --> 00:14:20,414
If I'm satisfied, Michele, I'll pay you
with a check. That's acceptable, isn't it?
219
00:14:49,042 --> 00:14:52,267
Yes, yes... I need to feel all of it!
220
00:14:53,175 --> 00:14:55,393
Thrust it! Push!
221
00:14:56,502 --> 00:14:58,619
- Feels good, doesn't it?
- Yes...
222
00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:04,061
- After we're done, you'll give me the...
- Yes, Michele, now do my balls, darling...
223
00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:07,993
Yes, Michele! My darling!
224
00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:12,733
- Is that some kind of hint?
- It's no hint, I pricked myself!
225
00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:16,867
- Look, I'm bleeding!
- Oh, you bad, bad garters!
226
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:20,597
- A little kiss will help...
- I've had kisses in my day, only...
227
00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:23,118
- Be healed!
- I'm healed! I'm healed!
228
00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:26,178
- I said she'd suck my blood!
- Open up your heart to love ...
229
00:15:27,179 --> 00:15:29,596
... and I will open mine.
230
00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:33,627
Oh, my little Michele...
Things will be just the way they were.
231
00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:37,027
- What about your clothes, Michele?
- What about my clothes?
232
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:40,460
- Why aren't you naked?
- Yes! Naked! I was just about to do that.
233
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,161
- And there's Schubert, too...
- Where is he?
234
00:15:42,273 --> 00:15:45,400
"The Unfinished Symphony"
Oh, that immortal music playing ...
235
00:15:45,401 --> 00:15:49,933
- I find Schubert so moving...
- If he'd gotten up earlier, he could have finished it!
236
00:15:50,445 --> 00:15:53,671
- Hurry, while I can still feel the inspiration!
- I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying!
237
00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:58,106
- And afterwards, you give me that...
- Of course, Michele... anything you want!
238
00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:02,542
But no more talk. We must seize
this fleeting moment before it escapes...
239
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:07,879
- ... and thoughts of death.
- Can't you talk about something more cheerful?
240
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:15,642
- I heard footsteps. Who's that, your sister?
- No, Monica's gone to see Toby...
241
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,767
- She'll be gone all night.
- So, your sister's finally found a man!
242
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:22,095
- None too soon, for a woman of her age.
- No, Toby is a bull, silly...
243
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,934
He's lost interest in romance. He needs someone
to awaken his attraction to the opposite sex.
244
00:16:27,135 --> 00:16:29,051
Yes... I'd say she's just right for a bull!
245
00:16:29,952 --> 00:16:36,403
Michele, cast aside your seven veils! You're
my Salome, revealing all to Herod and his court!
246
00:16:36,712 --> 00:16:43,258
The radiance of your manhood...
I shall bind you with the chains of romance!
247
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:46,490
- And what can break those chains?
- The laxative you ordered, ma'am...
248
00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:48,904
Laxative?
249
00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:51,728
- Greetings, Giuditta!
- Greetings to you, scumbag!
250
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:55,361
I can't believe she's invited this loser back!
251
00:16:55,362 --> 00:17:00,299
- Put the tray down, and leave us, Giuditta!
- She always has a kind word for her fellow man.
252
00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:05,138
- I'll fire you yet!
- You've been saying that for years. Just fire her!
253
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:08,766
She's nothing to us.
Are you prepared to be immortalized?
254
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,791
- Yes.
- Then follow me...
255
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,011
I'm almost ready...
256
00:17:16,738 --> 00:17:20,967
Hey! That's absolutely marvelous!
A wonderful portrait, Giuila!
257
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:23,488
- Even though it's unfinished...
- What do you mean, unfinished?
258
00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:26,313
Ah... you mean it's missing one small detail?
259
00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:28,933
- Not so small, darling.
- I'll agree with that...
260
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:31,050
But haven't you been working
on it for a year? Why isn't it finished?
261
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:35,994
Because I can't work from memory.
Without the model my inspiration fades.
262
00:17:35,995 --> 00:17:39,521
- You need the real flesh and blood, eh?
- Go on... get up there and pose!
263
00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:41,136
Whatever you say...
264
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:45,463
- Halt! Stop right there!
- Like this?
265
00:17:48,784 --> 00:17:51,614
Cut it out! You're exaggerating...
266
00:17:51,615 --> 00:17:54,840
- How modest you are!
- What do you want to paint? My arm, or my...?
267
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,071
Please! Stop hiding behind your
hands, and let me examine the details.
268
00:17:58,072 --> 00:18:00,488
You've seen it enough.
You ought to know it by heart.
269
00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:02,203
- Come on, drop your hands...
- Not so close...
270
00:18:02,404 --> 00:18:05,629
- Oh! Somebody's become a bit shy.
- It's been some time since I...
271
00:18:05,735 --> 00:18:08,658
- Stop that!
- If you'll drop your hands, perhaps I can find it!
272
00:18:08,659 --> 00:18:12,280
- Will you stop doing that!
- Then stop acting so modest...
273
00:18:14,304 --> 00:18:16,623
You see, I've made you drop your hands!
274
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:23,474
Oh my! I couldn't be mistaken.
I'd recognize that anywhere!
275
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:37,076
It's getting late. I need to get to the store.
276
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:39,194
What about my check?
277
00:18:39,195 --> 00:18:42,017
Oh God! How can you eat?
I can't even move!
278
00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:44,739
Well, before I go
Giuila, how about my check?
279
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,361
I know you just like to hear me beg.
280
00:18:47,362 --> 00:18:49,176
I haven't got it...
281
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:52,302
- What did you say?
- I haven't got your check.
282
00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:55,039
She doesn't have it!
283
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:58,859
This is disgraceful!
You told me you had it. Just to make me...
284
00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:02,784
- You're nothing but a dirty slut!
- A dirty slut?
285
00:19:01,085 --> 00:19:05,210
I suppose your behavior has been
exemplary over the past few years?
286
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:09,042
- What's happened to my check, Giuila?
- I'll tell you, but you mustn't lose your temper!
287
00:19:09,143 --> 00:19:11,269
- Where is it?
- I wanted to give it back to you, but Monica...
288
00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:13,260
... well, you know how she is!
289
00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:14,770
So Monica has it?
290
00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:19,527
Since you've been so accomodating,
I decided to give you 100.000.
291
00:19:19,528 --> 00:19:21,744
- Where is it?
- Under the Chinese tray...
292
00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:26,794
100.000... All this for 100.000.
Taking money just like a gigolo...
293
00:19:27,295 --> 00:19:29,812
Where is it?
Oh... here we go.
294
00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,339
A 100.000 bribe to keep me from
getting my check back! This money is dirty!
295
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,457
I won't accept it! You can keep your money!
296
00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:39,389
- I'm sorry, my darling...
- And I had to endure Giuditta's insults!
297
00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:43,325
I'm through. My life is over.
It's finished. All my hopes dashed...
298
00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:49,969
That's the last straw!
My God! That does it. I can't believe it!
299
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:55,618
I'm afraid there's only one thing left to do.
300
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:58,743
- Wait, Michele! Come back!
- What do you want?
301
00:19:58,944 --> 00:20:03,077
- You're mad to commit suicide just for me!
- You're the crazy one, my dear. Not me!
302
00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:05,902
You're disgusting, put some clothes on...
303
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:09,431
Is someone there?
I said, is someone there?
304
00:20:09,938 --> 00:20:12,355
No... it's just me, Michele.
305
00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:18,302
Michele Cammagliulo.
At your service...
306
00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:21,428
You must be out of your mind!
What do mean by smoking in here!
307
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,848
Everyone knows that cows are allergic to smoke!
308
00:20:23,949 --> 00:20:28,684
But I didn't know! Oh... you mean dairy
animals? My apologies for upsetting them.
309
00:20:29,091 --> 00:20:32,115
Now listen, miss, I know you
have something with my name on it.
310
00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:34,434
- I assume you're talking about your check.
- Good guess...
311
00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:37,357
Save your breath. I have no intention of
giving it to you. You already know my answer!
312
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:40,594
No! But why? I intend to pay you
cash. A small amount every week.
313
00:20:40,595 --> 00:20:44,316
With interest at the bank rate.
On my honor...
314
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,042
Help me, miss.
You're the only hope I have left!
315
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,164
I'll promise you one thing.
Or rather, I'll swear it!
316
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:53,895
Just give me that check, and I'll
never bother that fat cow of a sister...
317
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,114
I mean, I'll never bother your sister again!
318
00:20:56,115 --> 00:21:00,449
Ha! Why don't you try a new story for a
change? I'm guessing you can't cover that check!
319
00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:05,792
And when you can't cover it, you're
going to find yourself at the end of your rope.
320
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:09,119
And if you have any sense left,
you'll hang yourself with it.
321
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,950
Now get out of here while I give this bull a
booster shot! He's suddenly become impotent.
322
00:21:13,051 --> 00:21:15,468
- Has he?
- An example you should follow...
323
00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,291
I'm sorry, but about the check...
324
00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:21,424
The check? It'll be deposited tomorrow morning. And
when it bounces you'll have to cough up or go to jail.
325
00:21:21,425 --> 00:21:24,848
There's no better place for people like you!
Filthy parasite!
326
00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:27,165
- You're being unfair.
- Oh yeah?
327
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:31,199
Many people may think
your cynicism is real, but not me.
328
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,720
You're a warm and loving woman!
329
00:21:34,124 --> 00:21:37,954
I know what you're really like.
A willing and passionate person.
330
00:21:38,459 --> 00:21:41,180
- Come on...
- That's enough! I'm on to you!
331
00:21:41,181 --> 00:21:45,112
So please don't feed me that crap!
This place is already full of bull shit!
332
00:21:45,113 --> 00:21:48,843
I'm not impressed by it, mister!
Now you get out of here!
333
00:21:48,844 --> 00:21:54,286
You make me sick, just like the rest of your sex!
I'd rather keep company with my cows any day!
334
00:21:54,287 --> 00:21:59,126
You're barking up the wrong tree, dear!
Don't try to treat me the way you do my sister!
335
00:21:59,127 --> 00:22:02,858
You may have her under your thumb, but
don't try flirting with me, or you'll find out!
336
00:22:02,859 --> 00:22:06,785
- But I was just trying to...
- Have you forgotten your manners?
337
00:22:06,786 --> 00:22:09,308
Putting your big, filthy
hands on an unprotected woman?
338
00:22:09,511 --> 00:22:13,442
Why, you ought to be in jail!
Take your hands off me, or I'll...
339
00:22:13,443 --> 00:22:16,971
- So you do love me, Monica!
- Sex maniac... leave me alone!
340
00:22:16,974 --> 00:22:18,789
- Come back!
- Get out of here!
341
00:22:18,790 --> 00:22:20,805
You dirty pervert! Get out!
342
00:22:24,531 --> 00:22:28,769
- I love you, Monica! This is bigger than both of us!
- The hell it is! Leave me alone... get out!
343
00:22:35,524 --> 00:22:37,741
- I want my coat back!
- No, Monica!
344
00:22:37,742 --> 00:22:39,258
- Let go!
- I want you, Monica...
345
00:22:39,367 --> 00:22:41,790
- I worship you!
- It's mine!
346
00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,914
You're mine! All mine, Monica!
347
00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:46,625
- Let me go!
- No... you're mine now!
348
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:49,126
We'll dance together, my love...
349
00:22:49,127 --> 00:22:50,627
I don't feel like dancing!
350
00:22:50,628 --> 00:22:52,528
- What's gotten into you?
- Just a glimpse of your skin...
351
00:22:54,076 --> 00:22:58,911
Put me down, you bully!
You better leave me alone, you hear?
352
00:22:59,719 --> 00:23:02,646
Take your filthy hands off my ass!
353
00:23:02,847 --> 00:23:04,247
Watch out for the pail!
354
00:23:06,555 --> 00:23:09,271
Look out!
I'm... I'm falling!
355
00:23:12,336 --> 00:23:15,959
Stop that!
Get your filthy paws off me!
356
00:23:16,368 --> 00:23:21,508
No! Stop!
Get out of here, you dirty, no good...
357
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,836
No! Not my shirt!
358
00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:46,567
Oh, Michele! Michele...
359
00:23:50,197 --> 00:23:54,430
It's totally beyond me,
how you changed your mind so suddenly.
360
00:23:55,439 --> 00:24:01,487
About Michele! Last week you couldn't stand
him, and this week you have him working for you.
361
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:04,612
What about it?
I judged him too quickly, that's all.
362
00:24:04,613 --> 00:24:11,867
I'll admit, I underrated him completely. He has talent,
so why should I refuse to hire him for his past mistakes?
363
00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:16,999
And what about you? Asking me to delay
depositing Michele's check because it was no good.
364
00:24:17,013 --> 00:24:19,029
So he came to the
barn to make an installment payment ...
365
00:24:19,030 --> 00:24:21,648
- ... the same as he pays you?
- Me?
366
00:24:22,052 --> 00:24:24,874
Oh, by the way, Caminata ...
367
00:24:26,085 --> 00:24:27,899
Plus many other cordial returns.
368
00:24:28,001 --> 00:24:31,730
This evening you're in for a change.
Tonight I'm going to win!
369
00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:35,560
Sorry, but you'll probably
be paying off on every hand.
370
00:24:36,770 --> 00:24:41,106
Practicing? Of course I'm practicing.
You have money to burn, but I need to practice.
371
00:24:41,107 --> 00:24:44,232
You've been lucky so far,
but tonight you've had it!
372
00:24:44,434 --> 00:24:46,349
Let's see what you have here, Caminata.
373
00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:49,374
A pair of aces. You can bet your ass
you won't get far with a hand like that!
374
00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:53,105
Now, Belleviste,
let's see what your hand looks like.
375
00:24:53,106 --> 00:24:56,935
Nothing ... very poor. Don't
worry, it's just the way of the world.
376
00:24:57,541 --> 00:25:00,868
Let's see now, Rienzi...
I'll just look at your hand if you don't mind.
377
00:25:00,869 --> 00:25:04,800
We're friends, aren't we? How about that!
You have a straight, you old fool!
378
00:25:05,002 --> 00:25:07,119
I'll put the evil eye on that one...
I'll bet my hand is perfect!
379
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:12,761
Well, how about that!
I've got a full house here, guys...
380
00:25:13,014 --> 00:25:14,479
It happens to me every now and then.
381
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,294
You saw me deal every card.
I wasn't cheating, was I?
382
00:25:16,295 --> 00:25:18,511
You cut the cards, Rienzi - everything's okay!
383
00:25:18,715 --> 00:25:21,737
Now, you'll open with a pair of aces.
And you're out...
384
00:25:22,143 --> 00:25:24,359
You double the pot.
I'll triple it...
385
00:25:26,373 --> 00:25:27,884
You raise?
386
00:25:27,886 --> 00:25:30,053
Caminata, with what you're
holding you must be out of your mind!
387
00:25:30,458 --> 00:25:32,272
Fine with me.
We're happy to take your money!
388
00:25:32,273 --> 00:25:35,700
Bet all you want to bet!
Three cards to Caminata...
389
00:25:37,213 --> 00:25:39,629
Now Caminata's in a fix with...
390
00:25:41,749 --> 00:25:43,765
Four aces!!
391
00:25:43,766 --> 00:25:46,689
Jesus! I get the feeling
that this game is too much for me...
392
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,807
Why don't I just give up?
393
00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,824
I even lose money playing against myself!
394
00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:52,740
What a jerk!
395
00:25:59,564 --> 00:26:04,232
Now, let me see.
In July, milk prices...
396
00:26:07,555 --> 00:26:11,385
- I thought I heard someone. Good morning Giuditta.
- You think it's good, do you?
397
00:26:11,386 --> 00:26:15,519
You think anyone can sleep in this house, with you
going up the stairs and down the stairs all night ...
398
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,048
- ... just to keep those two degenerates happy?
- Hey, wait a minute!
399
00:26:19,049 --> 00:26:22,677
You're the maid, remember?
No one asked you to keep an eye on me.
400
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:26,508
- I work here the same as you.
- Except my work is done during the day...
401
00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:31,751
Never say things like that, Giuditta. You
should always appear to know nothing about it.
402
00:26:31,752 --> 00:26:35,383
You must appear to be totally ignorant
of the matter. We want no scandals for the ladies.
403
00:26:35,586 --> 00:26:38,307
Well of course it's perfect!
Nothing could be better for him.
404
00:26:38,308 --> 00:26:41,332
As long as we keep Michele in the
dark ... like taking communion with the Pope.
405
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,357
We can keep it quiet from the others.
406
00:26:44,358 --> 00:26:48,390
They're too wrapped up in their own affairs!
And Michele isn't the sort to notice anything.
407
00:26:48,391 --> 00:26:52,221
He's too full of himself to suspect us...
408
00:26:52,222 --> 00:26:55,246
You're right. How many times have you
and I said this is the perfect situation?
409
00:26:55,952 --> 00:26:59,984
As for tonight, you may have Michele
before me. I have a book to finish.
410
00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:04,117
Why should I take your turn, Giulia? I don't
mind. Some leftovers taste better reheated!
411
00:27:04,118 --> 00:27:05,632
Monica, I'm shocked!
412
00:27:05,733 --> 00:27:10,369
Oh no you're not! You haven't been shocked
since you caught papa behind the old woodpile!
413
00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:14,100
So, Monica, where will you be
screwing Michele? In the chicken coop again?
414
00:27:14,101 --> 00:27:18,032
It suits me. It's more natural
there, among the chickens!
415
00:27:18,833 --> 00:27:22,568
You know what really turns me one?
The smell!
416
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:27,004
What does this smell like?
It smells of bulls, heifers, and the barnyard!
417
00:27:27,005 --> 00:27:31,339
- It will cost you a fortune to have me wash these!
-Yes, your prices are outrageous for a couple of shirts!
418
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:34,364
- Considering that I'm part of the family now...
- Oh, are you now?
419
00:27:34,365 --> 00:27:38,094
- You're just around here to keep everyone happy.
- Please don't start on me, Giuditta...
420
00:27:38,095 --> 00:27:42,329
You ought to have someone here to help you.
I have an idea. Come here...
421
00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:46,765
- When have you ever had an idea?
- Let's play a game of cards for payment on the shirts ...
422
00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:52,505
- ... and I'll wager double or nothing!
- Oh no! You're not going to cheat me again!
423
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,334
There goes my income...
424
00:28:07,314 --> 00:28:08,528
Michele!
425
00:28:15,079 --> 00:28:18,707
Michele!
What are you doing? Playing cards?
426
00:28:19,012 --> 00:28:21,027
No! Certainly not. I'm working!
427
00:28:21,028 --> 00:28:23,951
- You'd rather be playing cards, right?
- No... I'm working on these accounts!
428
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:27,983
Don't! It's just one more thing for
the tax collector to poke his nose into!
429
00:28:27,984 --> 00:28:29,899
- But, why... ??
- Just do as I say!
430
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,521
I want you to go down to the
station and pick up that load of phosphate!
431
00:28:32,522 --> 00:28:34,840
- You want me to go?
- Yes, please - and take my car!
432
00:28:34,841 --> 00:28:37,160
- Thanks a lot!
- And another thing...
433
00:28:37,161 --> 00:28:39,277
... the ventilator on the
chicken coop is full of feathers.
434
00:28:39,278 --> 00:28:42,705
I have a hectic day ahead of me, darling, but
I thought we might go take a look at it tonight.
435
00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:45,428
- Look, tonight is out of the question...
- Be there at 11:00 on the dot!
436
00:28:45,429 --> 00:28:51,577
- Yes, ma'am!
- And don't forget to call the manure man!
437
00:28:51,578 --> 00:28:53,997
- My pleasure...
- Michele! Sweetheart...
438
00:28:54,502 --> 00:28:58,231
- There's something of yours on the floor, lover...
- Something of mine on the floor?
439
00:28:58,232 --> 00:29:02,163
Use your eyes! It's right in front of you!
That's it!
440
00:29:02,767 --> 00:29:05,491
Oh, this isn't mine!
It probably belongs to Giuditta.
441
00:29:05,492 --> 00:29:08,010
- I'll see you later!
- Sure, what's left of me...
442
00:29:08,415 --> 00:29:10,028
Bitch!
443
00:29:10,146 --> 00:29:15,170
Who would ever have believed that a stud
like Michele would end up as her handy man?
444
00:29:16,279 --> 00:29:19,710
Yeah... it's all your fault!
Someday I'll take the scissors to you!
445
00:29:20,917 --> 00:29:26,259
Add it up. Tonight I lost 900.000 lire, thanks
to that rigged deck belonging to Caminata.
446
00:29:27,570 --> 00:29:32,509
I lost 700 the other evening.
That's 1.600.000...
447
00:29:33,115 --> 00:29:37,046
How will I get my hands on that amount?
I can't ask for any more money...
448
00:29:37,047 --> 00:29:40,978
Giulia's given me two years worth of advances!
449
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:44,506
Her sister expects me to
do double duty for every single lire!
450
00:29:45,519 --> 00:29:48,442
It's the living end!
This life is killing me...
451
00:29:49,653 --> 00:29:53,785
This is for the birds! Sleeping just a couple
hours a night. Look what a mess you've become!
452
00:29:53,786 --> 00:29:57,516
Shadows under your eyes.
When you sit down to play cards, Michele, ...
453
00:29:57,517 --> 00:30:01,145
... you're playing with a lot more than
just cards! You're also using your personality!
454
00:30:01,146 --> 00:30:03,565
And you're blessed with good looks...
455
00:30:05,375 --> 00:30:09,808
Are you stupid?
Caminata is beating the pants off of you!
456
00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:11,609
There has to be a reason.
457
00:30:13,244 --> 00:30:15,559
God... this is giving me a headache!
458
00:30:16,264 --> 00:30:22,717
A voice in my brain repeats continually:
"A jerk! You're a jerk! That's what you are."
459
00:30:26,646 --> 00:30:31,186
No... that was a real sound.
Coming from the bathroom...
460
00:30:32,899 --> 00:30:36,528
A vision to behold.
Incredible! Unforeseen!
461
00:30:37,229 --> 00:30:43,277
Sitting there so completely vulnerable,
her senses alive, yet so slender and fragile!
462
00:30:43,278 --> 00:30:48,524
In the flush...
and fragrance of youth.
463
00:30:48,629 --> 00:30:53,660
- But who is she?
- She speaks, and her voice is warmed ...
464
00:30:53,661 --> 00:30:58,503
... with awakening desires,
and full of innuendo.
465
00:30:59,044 --> 00:31:00,923
Why in hell does the shower not work?
466
00:31:01,324 --> 00:31:06,456
- No, no, no...
- Yes, yes, someone broke the handle.
467
00:31:06,767 --> 00:31:09,690
"Why in hell does the
shower not work?" is impossible!
468
00:31:09,691 --> 00:31:12,715
- It's completely fake!
- You're expecting a lot, don't you think?
469
00:31:12,716 --> 00:31:15,438
What is this woman?
Is she a nymphomaniac?
470
00:31:15,439 --> 00:31:17,454
- What do you think?
- I don't ...
471
00:31:17,455 --> 00:31:22,394
The characters in this book don't exist!
This is a real girl, one that is named Eva!
472
00:31:22,395 --> 00:31:27,032
- And what's this one named?
- You think the moment a woman sees a man ...
473
00:31:27,033 --> 00:31:29,149
... she goes like this? No!
474
00:31:29,151 --> 00:31:31,267
Or like this? No!
475
00:31:31,571 --> 00:31:33,990
Or like this? No!
476
00:31:33,991 --> 00:31:37,317
Or like this? No!
477
00:31:37,623 --> 00:31:41,450
Excuse me, Alberto, but you
have no idea how a woman thinks!
478
00:31:41,451 --> 00:31:44,475
I'm straining all my faculties...
479
00:31:44,476 --> 00:31:47,298
... trying as hard as I can to
bring out the best in this wife of mine ...
480
00:31:47,299 --> 00:31:49,718
... and all I get is "Why in
hell does the shower not work?" !!
481
00:31:50,223 --> 00:31:53,146
Incredible!
That's the end of me, isn't it?
482
00:31:53,147 --> 00:31:56,977
- Yes, incredible...
- It's not the end! You're mad!
483
00:31:56,978 --> 00:32:02,320
You want my honest opionion, darling?
Your work isn't as good as Goethe's!
484
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,740
Are you kidding?
Goethe couldn't write his own name!
485
00:32:05,548 --> 00:32:07,965
How dare you touch me!
What do you take me for?
486
00:32:08,473 --> 00:32:09,889
I don't believe it...
487
00:32:10,190 --> 00:32:14,019
You think this is just a children's book?
Hell no, Auntie!
488
00:32:16,844 --> 00:32:22,488
This book is adult... different! It's an
outspoken, satirical view of sexual taboos.
489
00:32:22,489 --> 00:32:24,604
Taking up where my first
book left off, if you'll recall.
490
00:32:24,605 --> 00:32:27,731
I read it! It's filth!
A man in love with a goldfish ...
491
00:32:27,732 --> 00:32:30,958
... a mackerel that leaves the other
fish because he prefers the circus fat lady.
492
00:32:30,959 --> 00:32:35,091
- A satire on society, Giuila...
- Society found in the big city, but not around here.
493
00:32:35,092 --> 00:32:38,516
We keep our underpants on in the provinces!
Morality still means something to us!
494
00:32:38,517 --> 00:32:39,931
That's feminine psychology for you, Michele!
495
00:32:39,932 --> 00:32:43,762
I offer a rational argument for feminism,
and my aunts give me nothing but a lot of ...
496
00:32:43,763 --> 00:32:46,082
- Fancy foot work.
- Exactly! There's no such thing as ...
497
00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:49,907
... the provinces anymore! Let me read
where this point is beautifully illustrated. ...
498
00:32:49,914 --> 00:32:54,139
... in the first chapter of my latest book,
which was very well received at Biarritz, ...
499
00:32:54,943 --> 00:32:56,362
My glasses... ?
500
00:32:56,466 --> 00:33:01,001
Listen, Aunt Monica, there are dreadful scandals going
on under your provincial noses, but they're kept quiet.
501
00:33:01,002 --> 00:33:04,830
- What scandals?
- If there are, it's because of all you writers...
502
00:33:04,831 --> 00:33:07,855
- ... spreading your filth all over the country!
- Including my pants.
503
00:33:09,670 --> 00:33:12,996
- Oh, your pants are ruined!
- What has he done to himself?
504
00:33:12,997 --> 00:33:17,836
- The best way to remove a gravy stain is...
- No, I'll get it! You're don't know...
505
00:33:18,441 --> 00:33:20,457
Please!
Watch it there!
506
00:33:20,763 --> 00:33:23,784
- What's going on?
- Michele has soiled his pants...
507
00:33:24,289 --> 00:33:26,305
- That's not true!
- There! But not by you...
508
00:33:26,306 --> 00:33:29,833
Can I please finish my dinner?
Stop it! Get away!
509
00:33:32,145 --> 00:33:34,774
- Please continue...
- My point is, in the 20th century, ...
510
00:33:34,775 --> 00:33:39,203
- ... everyone is immoral to some degree.
- You're being self-righteous!
511
00:33:39,204 --> 00:33:43,335
A man can always take a lover
without it being cause for scandal.
512
00:33:43,336 --> 00:33:47,570
It's a natural, healthy thing. But a man
who writes about perversity is probably neurotic.
513
00:33:47,772 --> 00:33:50,800
- Possibly he's sick, or completely impotent!
- Of course...
514
00:33:51,107 --> 00:33:56,448
And a man who thinks he's desirable to
all women is worse than stupid - he's an idiot!
515
00:33:57,458 --> 00:33:59,474
Eva believes in being completely honest!
516
00:34:00,686 --> 00:34:04,414
I've heard enough from you!
You're nothing but a bourgeois reactionary!
517
00:34:04,516 --> 00:34:08,548
- Look who's talking!
- A writer who knows the ways of the world!
518
00:34:08,549 --> 00:34:10,564
Yeah... the underworld!
519
00:34:12,579 --> 00:34:13,992
Always gets her two cents in...
520
00:34:13,993 --> 00:34:16,412
- Thank you.
- I'm paid to do this, lady...
521
00:34:18,631 --> 00:34:22,360
- What's on that plate, dear?
- It's a macro-biotic lunch.
522
00:34:22,563 --> 00:34:25,183
It's much better than
the miserable stuff you're eating!
523
00:34:25,184 --> 00:34:30,221
Sesame seeds, soy beans,
chickpeas, lentils, and rice in mussel juice.
524
00:34:30,627 --> 00:34:32,246
Good, eh?
525
00:34:33,503 --> 00:34:36,688
Alberto has never sold a single copy
of his books, and he pays a professional binder ...
526
00:34:36,689 --> 00:34:38,808
- ... and printer to have them published!
- Your pulling my leg.
527
00:34:38,809 --> 00:34:40,831
- No! I'm not joking!
- Your hand!
528
00:34:40,832 --> 00:34:43,332
- What about my hand?
- Your hand! It's hurting my leg
529
00:34:43,432 --> 00:34:44,846
- You're just too sensitive!
- Too sensitive...
530
00:34:45,147 --> 00:34:47,580
Will you stop making mush out of that macro-
biotic stuff, and eat some real meat and potatoes?
531
00:34:47,581 --> 00:34:50,899
It's not every day you
can enjoy a meal like this!
532
00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:53,115
- Try my meat and potatoes?
- No!
533
00:34:53,416 --> 00:34:55,835
- I don't want any part of your meat, thank you!
- Why not?
534
00:34:55,836 --> 00:34:58,255
- Your meat's inedible!
- Oh yeah? Ask her...
535
00:35:01,856 --> 00:35:03,287
Try some... ?
536
00:35:03,388 --> 00:35:06,016
No thanks! I'd probably start
to sprout some sunflower seeds .
537
00:35:06,017 --> 00:35:08,536
Imagine... feeling all that
vegetation growing inside you.
538
00:35:08,538 --> 00:35:11,514
- How about you, Aunt Giuila?
- I think I'll be sick.
539
00:35:11,515 --> 00:35:15,438
Try it, it's good!
I think you'll like the chickpeas...
540
00:35:15,561 --> 00:35:20,085
- No, my child! But Michele will like it...
- Ah... Michele. So you like this?
541
00:35:20,086 --> 00:35:25,629
- Do you prefer the front or the rear?
- Front or rear - just shove it in my mouth!
542
00:35:26,142 --> 00:35:28,259
- How is it?
- Good, good...
543
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,484
Bravo, Michele! You have very good taste! Bravo!
544
00:35:32,489 --> 00:35:36,008
Leave Michele alone!
He's not a macro-maniac, like you!
545
00:35:38,141 --> 00:35:41,164
- Come back! I was just beginning to...
- Don't let her impose upon you ...
546
00:35:41,165 --> 00:35:44,887
... because I'm about to impose upon you instead!
547
00:35:44,888 --> 00:35:47,519
I'd like you to read the book I've just finished.
548
00:35:47,922 --> 00:35:53,970
Yes! Do that! You'll make Alberto happy, and he won't
have to waste good money getting the stupid thing printed.
549
00:35:53,971 --> 00:35:56,289
It's his money!
Let him throw it away if he wants to.
550
00:35:57,196 --> 00:36:01,935
Don't let her upset you.
And her odd diet is harmless.
551
00:36:01,936 --> 00:36:03,550
It's good for...
552
00:36:03,651 --> 00:36:06,573
I know it's good for my head and juices!
553
00:36:06,574 --> 00:36:12,116
- Ah... it isn't "succo lo" [juice], it's "su collo" [neck].
- Ah, my head and neck! Right?
554
00:36:12,521 --> 00:36:17,460
I say, this foreigner doesn't know our language!
She could be speaking Balinese!
555
00:36:18,069 --> 00:36:20,486
Mmmm... look at these yummies...
556
00:36:21,796 --> 00:36:24,618
Here, Eva. Have a cream puff!
Something to satisfy your sweet tooth!
557
00:36:24,619 --> 00:36:27,342
You Germans are brought
up on fattening pastries, right?
558
00:36:27,543 --> 00:36:30,365
I'm sorry, but I don't care for cream puffs.
559
00:36:30,568 --> 00:36:34,804
Hey, Alberto! I see you like cream puffs!
560
00:36:35,305 --> 00:36:37,726
- How about the long ones?
- No!
561
00:36:37,727 --> 00:36:39,742
- Excuse me...
- What, do you have to leave, Giuila?
562
00:36:39,743 --> 00:36:41,356
- I'm late...
- Where are you going?
563
00:36:41,357 --> 00:36:46,800
St. Stephen's parish house. The pastor is having
young men and women in for a prayer session.
564
00:36:46,801 --> 00:36:48,816
- Along with a few old balls...
- You old goat!
565
00:36:48,817 --> 00:36:50,934
Here's the whiskey!
566
00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:55,975
Oh! It's after 3:00.
There's a television show I need to watch.
567
00:36:55,976 --> 00:36:58,997
I don't want to miss the only
program dedicated to agriculture!
568
00:36:59,504 --> 00:37:01,823
- The muses summon!
- You're leaving too?
569
00:37:01,824 --> 00:37:04,344
- Yeah, I have to work on my book.
- Leaving me here alone with ...
570
00:37:04,549 --> 00:37:07,872
- Would you mind keeping an eye on Eva?
- Well, if you like...
571
00:37:07,873 --> 00:37:11,905
- And you keep an eye on Michele, darling...
- As long as the lady doesn't have anything else...
572
00:37:13,116 --> 00:37:16,341
- I'm busy this afternoon.
- She says, go ahead, she's okay.
573
00:37:16,745 --> 00:37:19,164
- I heard you're a lady killer.
- Am I ?
574
00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:22,290
- What about it?
- Have you killed many ladies?
575
00:37:22,492 --> 00:37:24,508
- What?
- You murder them!
576
00:37:24,509 --> 00:37:28,743
It doesn't mean that at all!
It simply means a man who impresses the ladies.
577
00:37:28,744 --> 00:37:30,759
- Who told you that?
- Alberto...
578
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,776
- Your husband?
- He picks up on the gossip...
579
00:37:32,777 --> 00:37:35,095
- That's all it is. I don't...
- Let's have some fun!
580
00:37:36,205 --> 00:37:38,221
- Right now?
- Yes... right now!
581
00:37:38,222 --> 00:37:42,556
I don't know. What do you call fun? What do
you usually do after lunch? Go to bed with your...
582
00:37:42,557 --> 00:37:45,480
- No! Nothing doing!
- I'm sorry! I wasn't suggesting anything...
583
00:37:46,489 --> 00:37:48,511
Would you like to play a game for small stakes?
584
00:37:48,517 --> 00:37:51,237
- A game for small stakes?
- Yes... if you have any cards with you.
585
00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:56,877
Cards? Of course! Would you like
to play canasta, whist, crazy eights, bridge?
586
00:37:56,978 --> 00:38:00,909
No! I want a card game I heard
of in Naples where they played for a pot.
587
00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:04,635
- Ah... briscola? - No!
- Crazy eights? - No!
588
00:38:05,136 --> 00:38:07,650
- Was it "scopa" [fuck] ?
- Yes! It was scopa!
589
00:38:07,653 --> 00:38:09,868
- Are you sure?
- Sure! Why not?
590
00:38:11,747 --> 00:38:16,517
Lovely lady, I would love to play scopa...
591
00:38:16,529 --> 00:38:20,518
Yes? Then go play with yourself, lady killer!
592
00:38:22,837 --> 00:38:25,559
Come on, it's 7:00, you liar!
You promised you'd be here at 6:00.
593
00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:27,676
- I was up late...
- You're falling down on your duties!
594
00:38:27,677 --> 00:38:31,003
- So why are you so late?
- Because your guest kept me up after midnight!
595
00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:32,919
It would have been
bad manners to trot off to bed.
596
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,334
You could still get up early.
Isn't that Alberto amazing?
597
00:38:34,335 --> 00:38:36,753
- Yeah, amazingly repulsive!
- And Eva?
598
00:38:36,754 --> 00:38:38,468
- Can you imagine what his life must be like?
- Do you like Eva?
599
00:38:38,469 --> 00:38:41,092
- Dull and boring...
- I'm asking you about Eva, his wife.
600
00:38:41,093 --> 00:38:44,108
Oh, that girl?
That disgusting food she made me...
601
00:38:43,009 --> 00:38:47,938
- ... you said was delicious!
- You recall I said it with my best poker face...
602
00:38:48,439 --> 00:38:50,209
Come on, big boy!
It's late ... get your pants off!
603
00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:53,183
Speaking of late... she's the
reason I wasn't in bed last night.
604
00:38:53,184 --> 00:38:57,318
I mean, she's the reason I was up so late. At
midnight, she got the cards out to play with me!
605
00:38:57,319 --> 00:39:00,644
- She vanted to play ze cards mitt you?
- You can't expect these Germans to know...
606
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:04,876
Oh, no! Watch out for the chickens!
607
00:39:04,984 --> 00:39:08,207
They're very expensive birds!
The poor chicks... they'll be crushed!
608
00:39:09,214 --> 00:39:14,254
- Ah... right in the...
- Forget the pain! I'll kiss it and make it better!
609
00:39:14,459 --> 00:39:18,290
I'll be all right, Monica... I've got
more crap on me than you'd ever want to kiss!
610
00:39:18,493 --> 00:39:24,940
The firey stars are wondering when my love...
Michele! You've really touched my heart!
611
00:39:25,043 --> 00:39:28,973
Foreswear thy family and
renounce thy name and be no more Romeo...
612
00:39:28,976 --> 00:39:33,008
- Remember Romeo's balcony scene?
- I don't care about Romeo, this isn't my scene!
613
00:39:33,022 --> 00:39:37,754
I came through the
window to avoid being seen.
614
00:39:38,055 --> 00:39:39,855
What are you doing?
615
00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:44,296
- Chicken manure does wash off, dear.
- I haven't been doing anything with the chickens.
616
00:39:44,297 --> 00:39:48,127
This smell came from the plaster walls of the
house. Every day this place gets more crowded!
617
00:39:48,229 --> 00:39:50,749
Having your sister here is one thing,
but now Alberto, and that wife of his!
618
00:39:50,750 --> 00:39:54,182
Alberto? Oh, he's nothing! Forget him!
Come on, I hear the musicians calling.
619
00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:55,799
Great... are they here too?
620
00:40:07,984 --> 00:40:11,110
And when he looked... he looked with his eyes.
621
00:40:12,121 --> 00:40:14,039
When he had looked, he looked again!
622
00:40:14,647 --> 00:40:16,888
And when he looked, he looked as a man
looks for the first time on a naked woman!
623
00:40:19,090 --> 00:40:21,636
And as he looked, lost with delight, he cried ...
624
00:40:21,637 --> 00:40:26,672
... you're mine. Mine. Yes, all mine!
But she was impassive ...
625
00:40:26,373 --> 00:40:35,909
... impenetrable, imperious, unimpressed
by his impetupous imprecations!
626
00:40:35,910 --> 00:40:40,647
He slowly slid her silk stockings down
the slender stems of her sensuous legs!
627
00:40:40,648 --> 00:40:46,998
He strained his face, insensible to the surging,
seathing sensation she stirred in his susceptible soul.
628
00:40:46,999 --> 00:40:50,728
The anguish of his agony ached
anxiously in amorous ambivalence.
629
00:40:50,729 --> 00:40:53,052
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
630
00:40:53,054 --> 00:40:57,086
The fact that fever fought to
fan the flaming fury of his foolish heart.
631
00:40:57,087 --> 00:40:59,355
Away! Be gone! Enough, he shouted!
632
00:40:59,356 --> 00:41:02,227
Go fuck yourself, you little pervert!
633
00:41:02,228 --> 00:41:05,452
Now I've got to work on the B's.
Did you like it?
634
00:41:06,057 --> 00:41:09,280
I've had enough of the writing!
When do I get some of the real thing?
635
00:41:09,281 --> 00:41:11,305
Not now!
I have to write while I'm inspired!
636
00:41:11,306 --> 00:41:13,725
- I know that kind of pressure!
- Where's the dictionary?
637
00:41:14,733 --> 00:41:17,954
- Good night...
- Good night...
- It's just a game, eh?
638
00:41:18,665 --> 00:41:21,587
They obviously pity me,
after I've lost the shirt off my back.
639
00:41:22,196 --> 00:41:24,521
So, Cammagliulo, how did I end up?
640
00:41:26,732 --> 00:41:29,355
I count 2.400.000 ... is that right?
641
00:41:29,979 --> 00:41:38,925
2.400.00 lire. Michele Cammagliulo...
Put this with the rest of my autographs.
642
00:41:40,337 --> 00:41:43,664
Here...
Are you going to deposit this in the bank?
643
00:41:43,665 --> 00:41:46,382
- Of course I'm going to deposit it!
- Would you do me a favor?
644
00:41:46,583 --> 00:41:50,401
- Let me see... on Sunday, I have the picture.
- What picture?
645
00:41:50,622 --> 00:41:55,142
Nothing... just something on my mind.
Monday with the chickens, Tuesday with the diva...
646
00:41:55,143 --> 00:41:57,061
With who? I hope you're
not trying to cry poor with me.
647
00:41:57,062 --> 00:42:01,289
I'm afraid I am short on funds right now.
But you have my word this will be good on Wednesday.
648
00:42:01,290 --> 00:42:05,941
All right, but don't let this happen again!
I don't how they do it in Naples, but around here ...
649
00:42:05,942 --> 00:42:09,676
... you pay what you owe immediately,
otherwise the limit is never more than 24 hours!
650
00:42:17,643 --> 00:42:19,457
Just in time!
651
00:42:20,869 --> 00:42:23,689
- Take the tray!
- Very thoughtful of you, Giuditta...
652
00:42:23,990 --> 00:42:27,119
- But I prefer it in the kitchen.
- Don't think I fixed that for you!
653
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,446
- No? This isn't my breakfast?
- I'm going into town to mail some letters.
654
00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:33,473
The German girl called for a tray,
so take it to her!
655
00:42:33,674 --> 00:42:37,401
Sure... but do you take
me for some kind of hired man?
656
00:42:37,705 --> 00:42:40,529
I try to do my share around here,
but this is quite an imposition!
657
00:42:40,830 --> 00:42:43,754
Having to carry trays around! How
come Alberto's wife gets treated special?
658
00:42:43,956 --> 00:42:45,873
- Any reason?
- It so happens that she tips better!
659
00:42:45,874 --> 00:42:47,690
Just what I thought...
660
00:42:49,510 --> 00:42:54,540
Look at this. Talk about a diet! Biscuits,
tomato juice, a pot of tea... Coming right up!
661
00:43:01,899 --> 00:43:03,313
Just keep on typing...
662
00:43:12,581 --> 00:43:14,196
Come in!
663
00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:24,979
- Good morning...
- You know this is good for clearing the mind?
664
00:43:27,051 --> 00:43:31,077
- Why are you here?
- It happens that Giuditta had to go out ...
665
00:43:31,078 --> 00:43:34,203
... and rather than keeping
you waiting, I thought I'd, uh...
666
00:43:35,517 --> 00:43:37,031
Where do I put it?
667
00:43:39,094 --> 00:43:40,609
Right here!
668
00:43:40,811 --> 00:43:42,729
- There?
- Ah... here.
669
00:43:43,131 --> 00:43:45,650
- Move!
- I'm moving...
670
00:43:49,784 --> 00:43:55,320
- Are you sure you didn't want to bring it up?
- What up? Uh... bring what up?
671
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:59,058
- You wanted to come to my room, no?
- I'm not the kind of person who...
672
00:43:59,059 --> 00:44:01,579
You realized that I'm
alone here most of the time.
673
00:44:01,580 --> 00:44:04,402
- Yes?
- Yeah... I realize that...
674
00:44:04,403 --> 00:44:07,729
- Get away!
- Sugar? You didn't add any sugar to...
675
00:44:07,730 --> 00:44:10,250
No! You're not going to
put any poison in my system!
676
00:44:13,075 --> 00:44:19,020
Yeah... with Alberto it's always the book. Aunt
Giuila is always painting, so she has no time to talk.
677
00:44:19,021 --> 00:44:21,045
And Monica is busy with her chickens!
678
00:44:22,901 --> 00:44:24,420
Maybe you would like to keep me company?
679
00:44:26,632 --> 00:44:28,447
- Are you... ?
- Only if you want. I'm just asking...
680
00:44:28,448 --> 00:44:31,069
- What do you mean? You know how much I want to!
- Then let's do it!
681
00:44:31,070 --> 00:44:33,892
- You mean you want to do it?
- I do! And Alberto thinks it's a good idea!
682
00:44:33,893 --> 00:44:36,312
- He agreed?
- He said not to put it off a minute longer!
683
00:44:36,313 --> 00:44:38,343
- I have his permission?
- Here... take this away!
684
00:44:38,344 --> 00:44:40,042
I'll get this out of the way!
685
00:44:40,043 --> 00:44:41,957
Can you believe it? He gave his permission...
686
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,989
- Eva, darling! The very first day you...
- Get away from me!
687
00:44:46,599 --> 00:44:48,016
- You've don't understand!
- What?
688
00:44:48,017 --> 00:44:51,031
I just wanted someone
to keep me company here!
689
00:44:51,132 --> 00:44:55,363
What do you mean by keeping company? If all
you want to do is talk, what do you need me for?
690
00:44:56,068 --> 00:45:00,497
- You must think I'm some kind of moron!
- If you don't want to stay, then leave!
691
00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:04,030
- How much teasing can a man put up with?
- Believe me, I never meant to tease you at all.
692
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,257
The effect is the same,
whether you're teasing or not!
693
00:45:07,358 --> 00:45:09,680
- Oh... no!
- Then what?
694
00:45:11,187 --> 00:45:16,429
- Why can't you be heroic, like Lohengrin?
- Lohengrin... ?
695
00:45:18,445 --> 00:45:22,578
- Is that better, Eva? I'm lower...
- No! No!
696
00:45:23,086 --> 00:45:27,115
- So how about if I start to grin?
- Lohengrin was a person!
697
00:45:27,116 --> 00:45:29,335
He was a dwarf...
698
00:45:30,544 --> 00:45:36,188
In the legend, his boat is pulled by
a swan, and Elsa comes out from her...
699
00:45:36,189 --> 00:45:39,011
We don't have any swans, but
I could hitch two or three chickens to...
700
00:45:39,012 --> 00:45:41,028
- No! One swan...!
- Fine...
701
00:45:41,029 --> 00:45:45,363
- She comes slowly down to the lake, singing...
- You lead, I don't know the tune.
702
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:49,497
And Lohengrin is there,
stepping from his swan boat ...
703
00:45:49,498 --> 00:45:53,529
- ... when he hears the sound of Elsa, far away!
- She better hurry, or the boat'll leave without her!
704
00:45:53,530 --> 00:45:56,756
- Suddenly, she throws her hands up...
- Ah... to grab the...
705
00:45:56,757 --> 00:45:59,675
- No... she falls... into the water.
- It was slippery?
706
00:46:00,076 --> 00:46:01,898
- He dives in...
- And pulls her out again... ?
707
00:46:01,899 --> 00:46:04,923
Not in time. I, too know that lake.
708
00:46:04,732 --> 00:46:09,268
I went there to swim last summer...
And I almost drowned!
709
00:46:09,269 --> 00:46:14,611
I got a cramp right here!
I cried, "Save me," like Elsa...
710
00:46:15,418 --> 00:46:18,744
Suddenly, a man appeared, just like Lohengrin.
711
00:46:19,048 --> 00:46:23,565
- He saved me...
- It feels like a miracle to me. A miracle...
712
00:46:23,573 --> 00:46:24,987
Remove your hand!
713
00:46:24,997 --> 00:46:26,511
I'm massaging your cramp!
714
00:46:29,015 --> 00:46:32,141
He stood there, as beautiful
as Lohengrin in a scene from Wagner!
715
00:46:32,345 --> 00:46:34,260
- You know him?
- No, we never met...
716
00:46:44,641 --> 00:46:46,858
- You can't imagine how splendid it was...
- No, I really can't...
717
00:46:46,859 --> 00:46:50,891
He was so noble as he reached
out and took my hands... Michele!
718
00:46:51,194 --> 00:46:53,210
- Hold my hands!
- I'll be glad to...
719
00:46:53,211 --> 00:46:55,932
He carried me out of
the water, and we lay there...
720
00:46:55,933 --> 00:46:58,554
... just the two of us on the beach.
721
00:47:04,804 --> 00:47:09,327
He stripped me with his hands... gently, so gently.
722
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:12,969
We began to kiss one another...
723
00:47:13,374 --> 00:47:18,413
And the wonderful way he
looked so deeply into my eyes...
724
00:47:18,414 --> 00:47:22,950
His kisses grew even
hotter with the heat of my kisses...
725
00:47:22,951 --> 00:47:25,975
Yes... I can still feel his breath...
726
00:47:38,676 --> 00:47:40,490
I've lost my place!
727
00:47:41,197 --> 00:47:43,011
Back on the beach...
728
00:47:46,442 --> 00:47:48,056
How many times are you
going to throw me on the floor?
729
00:47:48,057 --> 00:47:51,681
I'm beginning to think you're on the
make for me! I shall fight to the doom!
730
00:47:51,886 --> 00:47:55,913
- You mean to the death, don't you?
- Out! Get out of this room, lady killer!
731
00:47:56,118 --> 00:47:57,432
And don't you come near me again!
732
00:48:02,793 --> 00:48:05,897
Women... they say that, but they can't resist me.
733
00:48:05,998 --> 00:48:07,012
Out!
734
00:48:08,217 --> 00:48:09,735
That's just the beginning, darling!
735
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:14,975
Michele, you realize you're a
very irresistible man, and Eva wants you!
736
00:48:34,913 --> 00:48:37,136
What gets me is I just can't
figure out how I manage to lose.
737
00:48:37,137 --> 00:48:40,258
- Then why the hell do you keep playing?
- I need to keep playing to figure it out!
738
00:48:40,259 --> 00:48:42,878
And meanwhile we're losing the store...
739
00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:46,209
- Think of the future, Michele! Think of the children!
- I don't have any, so why should I think of them?
740
00:48:46,210 --> 00:48:48,527
Then think of my children!
I want to tear my hair out!
741
00:48:48,528 --> 00:48:50,042
Somebody beat you to it.
You're nearly bald!
742
00:48:50,043 --> 00:48:52,258
- I'll tear your hair...
- Leave my hair alone! Let it fall out by itself.
743
00:48:52,259 --> 00:48:56,189
You move in with those two crazy women so you
could earn a little something, and then lose it all at cards?
744
00:48:56,190 --> 00:48:58,911
- Now I'm trying to win it back!
- Word gets around fast in this town, eh?
745
00:48:58,912 --> 00:49:02,339
- What word?
- That you're stealing from the sisters!
746
00:49:02,340 --> 00:49:04,358
I suppose I have you to
thank for the gossip around town!
747
00:49:04,359 --> 00:49:07,281
- No! What have I said? You know I defend you.
- Sure you do!
748
00:49:07,282 --> 00:49:09,397
No! I tell people that Michele's completely honest.
749
00:49:09,398 --> 00:49:10,915
He couldn't commit a
criminal act because he's too stupid!
750
00:49:10,916 --> 00:49:13,633
- Stupid? You think that defense will help me?
- Sure!
751
00:49:13,634 --> 00:49:15,551
With friends like you, who needs enemies?
752
00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:18,272
- Michele, face it! You're a born loser!
- I heard you the first time...
753
00:49:18,273 --> 00:49:20,692
Listen to me, why don't you
just give your money to Caminata?
754
00:49:20,693 --> 00:49:25,733
Stop bugging me, Peppino! I have
worse problems than poker and Caminata...
755
00:49:25,734 --> 00:49:28,254
- Like...?
- I fallen head over heels!
756
00:49:28,255 --> 00:49:31,379
- Who with? Giuila? Monica?
- My God no!
757
00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:34,505
- Peppino, I'm talking about little Eva!
- The German dish?
758
00:49:34,506 --> 00:49:36,320
- Yes, the German dish.
- And she's married, isn't she?
759
00:49:36,321 --> 00:49:39,446
That just makes it spicier. A husband
in the bedroom adds to the complexity...
760
00:49:39,447 --> 00:49:42,974
... and the fun! But do you realize how thin
you're getting? These women are wearing you out!
761
00:49:42,975 --> 00:49:47,209
No... it's my diet. I'm off meat. I've
been eating watermelon seeds instead.
762
00:49:47,210 --> 00:49:50,234
- Rabbit's milk, soybean oil...
- Soybean oil?
763
00:49:50,235 --> 00:49:55,274
Stop repeating! I eat plain lettuce, coconuts,
wheat germ, barley, bran and sesame seeds.
764
00:49:55,275 --> 00:49:59,408
- Sounds like what I feed my parakeet!
- Are you criticizing my choice of food, Peppino?
765
00:49:59,409 --> 00:50:02,132
I eat what she eats.
I follow that girl in everything!
766
00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:04,752
- That means macro-biotics, Peppino...
- Huh... what?
767
00:50:05,962 --> 00:50:07,877
- Micro- what?
- Biotics!
768
00:50:07,878 --> 00:50:09,793
- What's micro-biotics?
- What's that got to do with... ?
769
00:50:09,794 --> 00:50:13,020
- You said you eat micro-biotics. What is it?
- No, my friend! It isn't micro-biotics!
770
00:50:13,021 --> 00:50:17,053
It's macro-biotics...
Meaning that your food is natural...
771
00:50:17,054 --> 00:50:20,984
You have to be careful what you eat.
It must be grown in horse manure...
772
00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:22,106
It's all because of her, Peppino...
773
00:50:25,218 --> 00:50:29,855
- So... are you going to screw her?
- I told you she was married, Peppino!
774
00:50:30,156 --> 00:50:31,572
- So?
- Sure, I'll screw her...
775
00:50:33,475 --> 00:50:37,507
Her whole being ached for him.
776
00:50:37,516 --> 00:50:40,741
- Her body was on fire...
- Alberto...
777
00:50:41,442 --> 00:50:45,071
I want you, darling... I want you.
778
00:50:48,904 --> 00:50:51,528
Alberto, I want you...
779
00:50:52,529 --> 00:50:55,871
- In her full breasts...
- Come here, darling...
780
00:50:56,377 --> 00:50:59,796
Please... I want you so very much...
781
00:51:00,497 --> 00:51:05,032
- Come back into bed, Alberto...
- Let me finish this chapter!
782
00:51:08,344 --> 00:51:09,556
Can't you read?
783
00:51:09,557 --> 00:51:12,380
What kind of a man are you?
A creampuff !!
784
00:51:14,398 --> 00:51:16,416
Oh, Michele... yes!
785
00:51:19,031 --> 00:51:21,450
Oh, yes... he's a real man!
786
00:51:26,896 --> 00:51:28,711
Hey! Hey!
787
00:51:31,232 --> 00:51:32,846
Michele!
788
00:51:34,256 --> 00:51:37,081
It's me, darling!
You're very own true love!
789
00:51:37,483 --> 00:51:39,905
You're Dracula's daughter!
Why did you have to wake me up?
790
00:51:39,906 --> 00:51:42,624
- Breakfast is ready.
- Oh... thanks!
791
00:51:42,627 --> 00:51:46,386
Thanks, my ass! It's not your breakfast, you
lazy good-for-nothing! It's for her highness!
792
00:51:46,387 --> 00:51:48,403
Hey! I'm not the waiter around here!
793
00:51:48,404 --> 00:51:51,730
So what! I have to go to Mass this morning.
If you want to take it up, go ahead.
794
00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:53,747
Otherwise, let her keep on ringing!
795
00:51:54,655 --> 00:51:56,369
Well, I'm not taking it...
796
00:51:56,873 --> 00:51:59,893
- May I... ?
- Is that you, Guiditta?
797
00:52:01,504 --> 00:52:03,526
If that's you, I'm in the bath!
798
00:52:04,131 --> 00:52:05,947
It's not Giuditta... it's Michele!
799
00:52:05,948 --> 00:52:07,865
I brought you your breakfast.
Where shall I put it?
800
00:52:08,069 --> 00:52:11,693
- Ah! Can you fix the shower?
- The shower? Am I a plumber now?
801
00:52:12,594 --> 00:52:14,514
Hurry! I'm standing here completely naked!
802
00:52:14,517 --> 00:52:16,534
Naked? I'll bet you're freezing!
803
00:52:18,335 --> 00:52:20,835
It's the work of the gods'... they've broken it!
804
00:52:20,869 --> 00:52:23,084
You mean to tell me you're completely naked?
805
00:52:24,501 --> 00:52:27,422
Of course that's what I meant.
If you don't mind, please close your eyes!
806
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:30,144
Okay, they're closed.
What do you want me to do?
807
00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:33,371
The shower doesn't work.
Just drip, drip...
808
00:52:33,573 --> 00:52:36,799
- Will you help me? Take a look...
- Fine, I'll come and have a look...
809
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,217
... with my eyes closed.
That's the gentlemanly thing to do.
810
00:52:41,934 --> 00:52:46,952
This must be ...
My, what big faucets you have!
811
00:52:43,554 --> 00:52:45,368
Try again!
812
00:52:49,369 --> 00:52:51,788
- Any water?
- No water...
813
00:52:54,006 --> 00:52:56,425
Let me try the shower head...
814
00:52:56,426 --> 00:52:58,241
If I could just turn it...
815
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:05,196
- Poor little Michele. Did you hurt your back?
- No...
816
00:53:05,802 --> 00:53:08,826
- No, really... it just tickles.
- How do you feel now, better?
817
00:53:09,633 --> 00:53:11,750
Feel? I feel much better...
818
00:53:11,751 --> 00:53:14,372
Here you go... get up!
819
00:53:14,473 --> 00:53:16,489
Actually, I can't stand the pain!
820
00:53:16,793 --> 00:53:19,312
I need to hold on!
Ah... here it is.
821
00:53:19,313 --> 00:53:21,833
There, I've got it. Now try it. Turn it on...
822
00:53:21,834 --> 00:53:23,650
Nothing... give it another turn!
823
00:53:24,728 --> 00:53:26,574
- Turn it harder...
- It's all the way!
824
00:53:26,575 --> 00:53:28,596
I'll twist the shower head while you turn the faucet...
825
00:53:28,797 --> 00:53:31,814
- How about it now? Anything?
- Nothing...
826
00:53:31,915 --> 00:53:35,345
Maybe if I twist it around like this ...
827
00:53:35,348 --> 00:53:38,368
Don't stand behind me.
Move around in front of me.
828
00:53:38,471 --> 00:53:41,596
I'll try again. If I keep trying,
something should come of all of this.
829
00:53:42,001 --> 00:53:44,029
Wait... my left hand won't do it.
The right one is much stronger than the left.
830
00:53:44,581 --> 00:53:46,730
- I do appreciate your help...
- But you did the work.
831
00:53:46,737 --> 00:53:49,464
Oh... it was nothing.
I'll call a plumber tomorrow.
832
00:53:49,469 --> 00:53:52,092
- No!
- How about that?
833
00:53:52,493 --> 00:53:54,610
It's working now!
I knew it would work!
834
00:53:54,611 --> 00:53:56,227
That's pretty wet water.
Maybe you'd like to...
835
00:53:57,333 --> 00:53:59,652
- Oh... my hero!
- Wait, I've already had a bath...
836
00:54:04,986 --> 00:54:06,800
- Wait, while I...
- No! Don't!
837
00:54:07,437 --> 00:54:09,951
- This is wonderful!
- But I'm soaked to the skin...
838
00:54:11,459 --> 00:54:13,973
My pants are sticking to me...
839
00:54:32,409 --> 00:54:35,637
It's you! Don't try a make up an excuse!
It's clear to me... I know everything.
840
00:54:35,638 --> 00:54:37,454
- How did you find out?
- I could see it in your face!
841
00:54:37,455 --> 00:54:39,471
- You didn't like it very much...
- No...
842
00:54:39,472 --> 00:54:41,286
- This may be contagious...
It's obvious...
843
00:54:41,287 --> 00:54:47,325
You find it's ridiculous that
my characters make love under water!
844
00:54:47,530 --> 00:54:52,369
Oh! You're talking about those slobs in your
story? The book you're always working on?
845
00:54:52,370 --> 00:54:54,392
The two of them make out under water.
It's simply ridiculous!
846
00:54:54,393 --> 00:54:56,416
A prostitute might
manage the necessary positions, but...
847
00:54:56,419 --> 00:55:05,756
Oh, Michele! Michele!
Were those hours you spent reading my book wasted?
848
00:55:05,857 --> 00:55:10,301
- I just read the juicy parts...
- No, no... who else will support my cause?
849
00:55:10,354 --> 00:55:12,423
Use your imagination!
Give in to the fantasies I've created!
850
00:55:12,424 --> 00:55:14,343
Work on your sensual awareness!
851
00:55:15,046 --> 00:55:16,367
Life in the provinces can dull the senses...
852
00:55:16,368 --> 00:55:20,300
... although that's not what I've heard about you.
853
00:55:20,903 --> 00:55:24,931
What's that? Ahhh... it's
nothing but rumors! Don't listen to that...
854
00:55:25,048 --> 00:55:28,970
Women like this exist! I've had experience!
I've seen it with my own eyes!
855
00:55:28,971 --> 00:55:30,687
I still say it's ridiculous!
856
00:55:31,391 --> 00:55:33,207
- Take Eva, for example...
- Should I take Eva?
857
00:55:33,308 --> 00:55:37,837
As an example.
Eva has a difficult psychological problem...
858
00:55:38,038 --> 00:55:39,656
- Does she?
- My Eva ...
859
00:55:39,858 --> 00:55:43,990
... unless she's under water, she can't make love!
Otherwise... nothing!
860
00:55:44,194 --> 00:55:45,206
That can't be so!
861
00:55:55,284 --> 00:55:59,513
Adelmo!
What are you watering?
862
00:56:00,225 --> 00:56:02,846
What are you trying to grow? Zucchini?
863
00:56:04,253 --> 00:56:06,972
No! I'm growing sausages!
864
00:56:13,173 --> 00:56:14,973
You're everything I'd hoped for!
865
00:56:18,474 --> 00:56:20,274
Oh, Michele, you're wonderful!
866
00:56:52,836 --> 00:56:55,252
- Michele!
- I'm right here!
867
00:57:04,839 --> 00:57:07,661
We need to make a decision, Eva!
I can't keep on like this...
868
00:57:07,862 --> 00:57:10,984
- I want you all to myself.
- Are you talking about Alberto?
869
00:57:11,587 --> 00:57:13,611
Naturally... part of what I'm
talking about has to do with Alberto.
870
00:57:13,612 --> 00:57:16,432
His book is nearly finished,
and he'll have no more reason to stay.
871
00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:20,461
- We won't be able to see each other.
- Why can't we still see each in Milan?
872
00:57:20,462 --> 00:57:22,080
Yeah... I can just see us in some hotel room.
873
00:57:22,081 --> 00:57:28,527
- I don't want to share you with anyone else!
- That's nice of you to say... very romantic.
874
00:57:30,140 --> 00:57:33,771
I was so mistaken about you. Every day
you seem more and more like my Lohengrin.
875
00:57:34,279 --> 00:57:37,101
He too thought being with me was like Heaven.
876
00:57:37,102 --> 00:57:38,916
Under Niagara Falls...
877
00:57:38,917 --> 00:57:43,654
What are your plans? Would we run
away, and try to find someplace new to live?
878
00:57:43,655 --> 00:57:45,269
No... we'd find a way to manage.
879
00:57:45,270 --> 00:57:49,504
But we don't have any money!
And I don't know how to live without it.
880
00:57:49,505 --> 00:57:53,638
- My Alberto pays for all the things I need...
- But I love you, Eva!
881
00:57:53,639 --> 00:57:57,669
Between us, we ought to find a solution.
Let's stop here for a moment, and talk about it...
882
00:57:58,674 --> 00:58:01,494
Did you bring me here just to talk?
883
00:58:01,595 --> 00:58:04,728
Of course! What better place? I picked it
because there are no showers, no streams...
884
00:58:04,729 --> 00:58:09,157
... no hoses, no faucets. Where ever
there is water, you know what happens!
885
00:58:10,569 --> 00:58:12,689
We never get to talk!
I figured I'd have to try out here...
886
00:58:15,208 --> 00:58:17,630
- Ohhh... Michele, it's beautiful!
- I don't believe it!
887
00:58:18,031 --> 00:58:21,963
- It's pouring, Michele! Pouring!
- Let's make a run for it! This is my last dry pair of pants...
888
00:58:27,507 --> 00:58:30,629
Come on, Eva!
There must be someplace dry around here!
889
00:58:31,630 --> 00:58:33,347
How about... how about that hut? Come on!
890
00:58:33,848 --> 00:58:35,172
No, no... please, Michele!
891
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:38,801
- This is fabulous... !
- Why are you taking off your hat?
892
00:58:39,203 --> 00:58:41,021
If you don't want it, give it to me!
893
00:58:44,029 --> 00:58:45,844
No, Michele!
Stay with me! Don't go inside!
894
00:58:45,845 --> 00:58:46,870
- What? Are you kidding?
- Come and get wet, Michele!
895
00:58:46,871 --> 00:58:48,585
- Get in here!
- It's marvelous!
896
00:58:48,586 --> 00:58:51,811
You don't need to be baptized, get in
here! The roof leaks like a sieve. You'll love it!
897
00:58:51,812 --> 00:58:54,030
- Lohengrin!
- No... Eva!
898
00:58:56,248 --> 00:58:59,070
Have you gone completely mad?
Please be sensible! I'm all wet...
899
00:58:59,071 --> 00:59:00,886
I'm soaked to the skin!
900
00:59:01,794 --> 00:59:05,120
Stop it now, Eva! What made
me fall in love with a hydro-maniac?
901
00:59:05,524 --> 00:59:08,447
Now stop it, Eva!
I'm completely soaked!
902
00:59:09,859 --> 00:59:12,177
She's playing my song!
"Irresistible" !!
903
00:59:25,011 --> 00:59:28,235
Michele! Open your eyes, Michele!
904
00:59:28,437 --> 00:59:30,852
Say something... wake up!
905
00:59:31,553 --> 00:59:34,653
What's the matter with you, Michele?
Say something...
906
01:00:05,392 --> 01:00:10,028
- Oh... no! No! Eva, no! No, I beg you!
- Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
907
01:00:10,029 --> 01:00:13,253
- Leave me alone...
- Oh, yes... yes!
908
01:00:25,796 --> 01:00:27,867
- "A record rainfall hits... "
- He's glad it's raining...
909
01:00:28,372 --> 01:00:30,388
These weather men make me sick!
910
01:00:30,389 --> 01:00:34,017
" ... never before seen such a downpour.
There's no end in sight."
911
01:00:34,018 --> 01:00:36,437
"Steady rain across all of Italy..."
912
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,067
- I need to buy a bathing suit.
- "A low pressure area from the Alps..."
913
01:00:40,068 --> 01:00:43,003
- " ... will bring further precipitation..."
- No... wait 'til we're in the tub!
914
01:00:45,209 --> 01:00:49,140
" River levees have
been reinforced in low-lying areas..."
915
01:00:49,746 --> 01:00:50,956
"Of course, this rain is a Godsend ..."
916
01:00:50,957 --> 01:00:54,081
It sounds to me like
another flood is going to hit us.
917
01:00:54,687 --> 01:00:57,813
I can finally finish your
portrait while it does, Michelle.
918
01:00:58,115 --> 01:01:03,356
I need Michele to take a look at the pig pen.
Don't you think the roof leaks?
919
01:01:07,090 --> 01:01:10,518
Best thing in the world for those plants.
Lots of water makes all sorts of things pop up!
920
01:01:10,723 --> 01:01:12,234
It's not my night! I'm out...
921
01:01:12,936 --> 01:01:16,368
Three queens!
Although I've found that two are usually enough!
922
01:01:16,369 --> 01:01:20,600
Isn't that right, Cammagliulo?
Can you beat that, or not? I call...
923
01:01:23,010 --> 01:01:24,929
Cammagliulo! What are thinking about?
924
01:01:25,439 --> 01:01:27,255
Hey! Are you all right?
925
01:01:28,964 --> 01:01:31,387
My God! We'd better get him to
a doctor! The poor guy's passed out...
926
01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:34,012
- Open a window, for God's sake!
- That's such a shame...
927
01:01:34,013 --> 01:01:36,533
... passing out while holding a full house!
928
01:01:39,456 --> 01:01:41,673
Just look at yourself.
That skeleton is you, buddy!
929
01:01:41,674 --> 01:01:44,698
- I'd look like that without skin?
- You bet! I'd recognize those bones anywhere.
930
01:01:44,699 --> 01:01:46,816
- How can you be sure they're mine?
- Bones but no brains!
931
01:01:46,817 --> 01:01:48,732
- Yes... it doesn't...
- Doesn't what?
932
01:01:48,733 --> 01:01:52,961
Look very good!
Swollen arteries. Strained cardiac muscle.
933
01:01:53,269 --> 01:01:57,604
This causes the heart to work harder,
and when that happens, it's dangerous!
934
01:01:57,705 --> 01:02:00,528
- I've been telling him that!
- Stay out of this! Let the doctor do it...
935
01:02:00,529 --> 01:02:02,343
- I'm in danger of what, doctor?
- A heart attack!
936
01:02:02,344 --> 01:02:04,763
- I've been telling him, doctor...
- Now you're happy?
937
01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:08,191
- What kind of friendship is that?
- I wouldn't be. But all my predictions come true...
938
01:02:08,192 --> 01:02:11,417
Well then, I'm happy that you're so happy!
You think I might really have a...
939
01:02:11,418 --> 01:02:14,744
No! I'm here to see that you avoid it.
Start getting more rest!
940
01:02:14,745 --> 01:02:16,560
- Like how much?
- A lot more...
941
01:02:16,561 --> 01:02:18,577
- He'll like that!
- You're making me nervous, wiseguy!
942
01:02:18,981 --> 01:02:21,400
You're physically sound,
in terms of your muscular condition.
943
01:02:21,401 --> 01:02:25,433
Sex has a lot to do with that! But I might
suggest that you're pushing it a little too hard.
944
01:02:25,434 --> 01:02:28,558
Moderation and small doses never
hurt anyone. And if what you say is true...
945
01:02:28,559 --> 01:02:30,575
Would I lie about a friend's sex life?
946
01:02:30,778 --> 01:02:33,701
- You mean you told the doctor about...
- I'm not that stupid!
947
01:02:33,702 --> 01:02:35,818
- I just mentioned a few of the women...
- Oh, is that all? Well, thanks!
948
01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:39,045
The facts are obvious. When
given a few hints, anyone could guess.
949
01:02:39,046 --> 01:02:42,269
- The doctor's no fool...
- Listen to me, Mr. Cammagliulo.
950
01:02:42,270 --> 01:02:46,296
- I'm right here...
- I want you to obey my orders - to the letter!
951
01:02:46,297 --> 01:02:49,329
- Whatever you say...
- Unless you want to ruin your health...
952
01:02:49,330 --> 01:02:54,065
... you'll report to me every two weeks.
My nurse will write out the diet you're to follow.
953
01:02:54,469 --> 01:02:57,087
Oh, nurse...
What's the meaning of this, ladies?
954
01:02:58,801 --> 01:03:00,116
It's really him!
955
01:03:00,319 --> 01:03:04,351
Will you prepare a chart, please!
And the rest of you, keep away from this door!
956
01:03:06,065 --> 01:03:08,782
This place is like the Grand Hotel!
957
01:03:09,187 --> 01:03:14,023
Now I'm going to issue just one order:
sex once a week, and no more!
958
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,852
Only once? How am I going to
do that, with all these girls after me?
959
01:03:16,853 --> 01:03:18,472
Do you want me to disappoint the whole lot?
960
01:03:18,473 --> 01:03:22,094
Two at the most, or you'll be a very miserable man!
961
01:03:28,342 --> 01:03:33,072
- Do you have it straightened out yet?
- How am I going to straighten this out, Peppino?
962
01:03:33,273 --> 01:03:36,283
Using the calculator,
I've worked out every possible schedule ...
963
01:03:36,504 --> 01:03:41,137
... and even if I increase the number of times per
week, it still comes out to Monica three times ...
964
01:03:41,138 --> 01:03:45,578
... every week. That's in even-numbered months.
Likewise for Giuila, on odd-numbered months.
965
01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:49,712
- That means there's no time left for Eva and me.
- Why do you bother with Eva? Why bother?
966
01:03:49,713 --> 01:03:52,131
Dump her and all the rest.
Go on! All of them!
967
01:03:52,132 --> 01:03:55,862
Women, girls... you're better off without any of them!
968
01:03:55,863 --> 01:03:58,181
So where's the money
supposed to come from, Peppino?
969
01:03:58,182 --> 01:04:01,307
You mind telling me that?
The store's a failure. There's nothing in the till!
970
01:04:01,308 --> 01:04:03,928
Don't say that! The store
can make money, and I can prove it!
971
01:04:03,929 --> 01:04:06,449
What you need to do is give one thing up!
972
01:04:06,450 --> 01:04:08,768
- I don't know any more women ...
- No! Poker! I'm talking about poker!
973
01:04:08,769 --> 01:04:12,700
Please, please! Don't nag me about poker!
Don't blame poker. It's not poker...
974
01:04:12,701 --> 01:04:14,717
There's just no money. It's that simple!
975
01:04:14,718 --> 01:04:16,734
- I'm thinking of the kids, especially.
- I didn't think you had any!
976
01:04:16,735 --> 01:04:19,859
I'm talking about your kids! Use your head!
They go through money like it was water.
977
01:04:19,860 --> 01:04:22,380
I see... so you're saying they should starve!
978
01:04:22,381 --> 01:04:25,607
If you had some energy, you could
work harder. But you're always too tired!
979
01:04:25,608 --> 01:04:28,128
If you had just one girl,
you might be able to stay awake!
980
01:04:28,129 --> 01:04:30,548
Instead, you have three.
There needs to be two more of you!
981
01:04:31,052 --> 01:04:33,270
- Wait! Would you say that again?
- Don't you ever listen?
982
01:04:33,271 --> 01:04:35,791
- Repeat that... you said two more of me?
- Yeah, that's right. Two more of you...
983
01:04:35,792 --> 01:04:40,227
Two more of me to take care of the others! That's
almost impossible, but let's think of it as a challenge.
984
01:04:40,228 --> 01:04:41,941
- A challenge?
- You've given me an idea!
985
01:04:41,942 --> 01:04:43,857
- I'm going to have myself...
- It's that bad?
986
01:04:43,858 --> 01:04:45,975
- ... have myself a ball !
- That's good...
987
01:04:46,278 --> 01:04:49,302
So when you have three, will
that be three times better than before?
988
01:04:49,404 --> 01:04:51,218
All I meant is that I'm going to have a lot of fun!
989
01:04:51,219 --> 01:04:54,142
I used the word "ball" in that sense...
nothing more!
990
01:04:54,143 --> 01:04:55,857
Oh, sure! That kind of "ball"...
991
01:04:55,858 --> 01:05:00,393
What I'm going to do is get a substitute.
Somebody I'll pay, naturally.
992
01:05:00,394 --> 01:05:02,209
- The sort of man who...
- A prostitute!
993
01:05:02,310 --> 01:05:06,947
Oh, that kind of vulgarity isn't worthy of you,
Peppino. I prefer to think of it as a sexual collaborator.
994
01:05:06,948 --> 01:05:10,879
A man who's paid for certain special sexual
services, knowing that he's acting on my behalf.
995
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,105
- I'd only have to use him on certain occasions.
- But there's three women...
996
01:05:14,106 --> 01:05:17,634
Are you kidding? Eva's mine alone!
That goes without saying!
997
01:05:17,635 --> 01:05:19,248
As for the other two...
998
01:05:19,449 --> 01:05:21,465
- I'll have to find someone who...
- Can I be of help...
999
01:05:21,466 --> 01:05:23,281
- No, that's okay. You might as well go home.
- Yes, sir...
1000
01:05:24,088 --> 01:05:26,104
- Somebody who... who can...
- Somebody handsome!
1001
01:05:26,105 --> 01:05:31,144
Looks don't really matter. But not a boy like Tonino,
whose face is a mess. I want somebody more ...
1002
01:05:31,146 --> 01:05:32,657
- ... elegant!
- Yes, elegant.
1003
01:05:32,658 --> 01:05:34,775
- Refined!
- Not to mention...
1004
01:05:34,776 --> 01:05:37,497
- Presentable!
- And he must also be well endowed!
1005
01:05:37,599 --> 01:05:42,737
If his equipment isn't what it should be...
I'll have to check that out! That's obvious.
1006
01:05:43,446 --> 01:05:46,571
- Tell me... what's your size?
- 12D... what about it?
1007
01:05:46,572 --> 01:05:49,495
12D! Boy are your wits sharp!
What I meant was...
1008
01:05:50,504 --> 01:05:53,679
You have seven kids?
It must be kind of big to...
1009
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,292
- Ah!
- Well, what do you say?
1010
01:05:55,293 --> 01:05:56,805
- I say none of your business!
- Come on, tell me!
1011
01:05:56,806 --> 01:05:58,419
- Believe me, I'm not interested...
- With seven kids?
1012
01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,638
- Sure, but it's been a while since we had one.
- You've kicked the habit?
1013
01:06:00,639 --> 01:06:02,150
- Completely...
- It's out of the question?
1014
01:06:02,151 --> 01:06:03,865
- Sorry...
- Totally out of the question?
1015
01:06:03,866 --> 01:06:05,479
- Entirely...
- What a shame that is.
1016
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:08,201
- I'm sorry to turn down a good opportunity.
- You're unable to take part in the competition?
1017
01:06:08,202 --> 01:06:11,226
I don't think I'm right for it.
And I'm really not interested...
1018
01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:13,948
Who wouldn't be, after seven kids?
1019
01:06:14,352 --> 01:06:16,469
I'd do anything for you!
That's what friendship means.
1020
01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:20,401
You know what I mean?
Since your health is at risk, well, um...
1021
01:06:22,510 --> 01:06:25,442
... finding a piece of merchandise with equipment
as large as yours is going to be very hard!
1022
01:06:25,443 --> 01:06:28,862
In a manner of speaking.
What do have in the book?
1023
01:06:28,871 --> 01:06:33,387
Will you just give me a chance to look?
Sit down, and relax! Now, let's take a look...
1024
01:06:33,389 --> 01:06:35,816
- There must be someone in there!
- It's possible, but ...
1025
01:06:35,817 --> 01:06:38,842
... they're small potatoes,
compared to you! Very small indeed...
1026
01:06:38,843 --> 01:06:41,264
- Looks like half the population...
- Frankie...
1027
01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:44,488
- How's he built?
- He's small... a difficult client.
1028
01:06:44,489 --> 01:06:45,799
Not him! And his strange tastes...
1029
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:52,251
Oh! Milani! Do you know Milani? He'd be
fabulous for us. He has a fine sized tool. But...
1030
01:06:52,252 --> 01:06:54,877
- But what?
- The poor fool decided to go the other way...
1031
01:06:54,878 --> 01:06:58,808
- Did he move away?
- No, he was operated on by a wonderful surgeon!
1032
01:06:58,809 --> 01:07:01,829
- He had an accident?
- No! He just wanted to dress like a woman!
1033
01:07:01,830 --> 01:07:04,450
- Now, what do you call a man like that?
- A drag queen?
1034
01:07:04,451 --> 01:07:06,669
- That's right! A drag queen!
- Better forget about him...
1035
01:07:06,670 --> 01:07:09,290
- Now, who else is here in the book?
- Come on... try again!
1036
01:07:09,291 --> 01:07:11,307
Wait a minute! This one looks pretty good...
1037
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,122
- Good afternoon...
- I'm Primo Guendalini... antique sculptures.
1038
01:07:25,123 --> 01:07:28,650
- I'm Michele Cammagliulo.
- I recognized you right away...
1039
01:07:28,853 --> 01:07:32,582
- White suit, necktie, striped shirt...
- Marisa told you about me?
1040
01:07:32,583 --> 01:07:35,910
Yes, she did. She's a very old friend!
Are you a client?
1041
01:07:35,911 --> 01:07:39,237
- Well, I regard Marisa more as a friend...
- And in many other ways!
1042
01:07:39,238 --> 01:07:43,169
That girl really knows her business! And she isn't the
type to take money she hasn't come by honestly!
1043
01:07:43,170 --> 01:07:46,496
Well, that's all very good. Did
Marisa... did she mention what I wanted?
1044
01:07:46,497 --> 01:07:49,617
Yes, she mentioned it.
You're interested in my peter!
1045
01:07:51,229 --> 01:07:56,369
Listen, did Marisa tell you that I'm
looking for some very unique merchandise?
1046
01:07:56,370 --> 01:08:01,107
Without appearing immodest, those who want
the highest quality merchandise come to Guendalini!
1047
01:08:01,109 --> 01:08:05,443
My unique merchandise is know up and down
the coast, all the way to Naples and points east!
1048
01:08:05,444 --> 01:08:07,863
Is that so?
Then I can rest easy!
1049
01:08:07,864 --> 01:08:11,489
- You can rest easy!
- There's only one thing I'm somewhat afraid of.
1050
01:08:11,695 --> 01:08:13,307
It's the matter of size...
1051
01:08:14,508 --> 01:08:16,027
13 and a half inches!
1052
01:08:16,029 --> 01:08:17,642
- Will that about do it?
- Sure, uh...
1053
01:08:17,643 --> 01:08:19,760
- I can get larger, if that's too small!
- Are you kidding?
1054
01:08:19,761 --> 01:08:21,978
I wouldn't know how to
manage one as big as all that!
1055
01:08:21,979 --> 01:08:26,212
There's one thing that wasn't clearly explained.
Are you the one who wants the, uh... object?
1056
01:08:26,213 --> 01:08:28,532
The object? No, I'm not interested.
1057
01:08:28,533 --> 01:08:31,456
It's only because it want to give
something special to two young ladies.
1058
01:08:31,457 --> 01:08:33,170
Something they'd
otherwise have to do without.
1059
01:08:33,171 --> 01:08:34,985
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Why's that?
1060
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,801
Because I'd rather give it to you!
1061
01:08:37,205 --> 01:08:39,322
- To me?
- I think you'd appreciate it!
1062
01:08:39,323 --> 01:08:41,641
- Appreciate it?
- I'll bet you're a man with lots of experience...
1063
01:08:41,642 --> 01:08:45,774
... behind you! You're a connoisseur! A man
who knows where something like this should go!
1064
01:08:46,078 --> 01:08:48,594
- I do?
- It'd be a shame to give it to someone else!
1065
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:50,614
If your ladies are only beginners...
1066
01:08:51,019 --> 01:08:54,446
I'd hate to trust an object like mine in the
hands of rank amateurs, if you know what I mean!
1067
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:59,385
No, I wouldn't worry about that. The
ladies in question are anything but beginners!
1068
01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:02,309
- So, I have no reason to worry.
- None whatever! Now, about the price ...
1069
01:09:02,310 --> 01:09:04,326
- ... don't forget, it's worth money.
- Stop!
1070
01:08:58,431 --> 01:09:03,169
I do have my pride! Anyone who buys a work
of this sort shouldn't expect to get a bargain!
1071
01:09:03,170 --> 01:09:05,891
- Certain things are priceless!
- Things like...
1072
01:09:05,892 --> 01:09:09,620
Like my peter. But don't talk about
the price until you've had a look at it!
1073
01:09:10,126 --> 01:09:12,952
- Really?
- If you like, you can have a look right now!
1074
01:09:12,953 --> 01:09:16,053
Certainly! Such a powerful
object must be seen to be appreciated!
1075
01:09:16,053 --> 01:09:19,693
- What are you suggesting?
- What else? I'll take it out right here!
1076
01:09:19,694 --> 01:09:24,519
What are you thinking of!
There are people around... watching us.
1077
01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:29,000
What would they think, Mr. Guendalini?
Please, consider the people...
1078
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,543
- What difference does that make?
- Well, to me it makes...
1079
01:09:30,544 --> 01:09:34,264
- If you're Puritanical we can go inside!
- Please! There's no reason to go inside...
1080
01:09:34,777 --> 01:09:38,399
- Another nut case. Everything happens to me!
- Don't you want to see it?
1081
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,924
I told you already - I'm not interested!
Please! The police will have you in the...
1082
01:09:43,643 --> 01:09:45,966
- There he is! My St. Peter!
- Your St. Peter...
1083
01:09:45,967 --> 01:09:48,489
I've also done Moses... Napoleon...
1084
01:09:48,490 --> 01:09:51,108
But most of my clients
are interested in my large Peter.
1085
01:09:51,714 --> 01:09:54,737
- What do you think of it?
- I can't say what I'm thinking...
1086
01:09:56,755 --> 01:10:00,989
Can't you postpone all that, for God's sake?
I need a little peace and quiet tonight.
1087
01:10:00,990 --> 01:10:03,610
Do it in the morning.
Good night. Go home now...
1088
01:10:03,611 --> 01:10:05,123
- But the...
- You heard what I said.
1089
01:10:05,124 --> 01:10:07,543
Tonight I want a little peace and quiet!
I need to concentrate.
1090
01:10:09,459 --> 01:10:12,685
What a situation to be in!
I need to find a solution to it ...
1091
01:10:12,686 --> 01:10:16,512
... because if I don't,
that means there's no solution!
1092
01:10:16,513 --> 01:10:18,533
You'll figure out,
Mr. Michele, because you're so smart!
1093
01:10:18,534 --> 01:10:22,102
It's not a question of intelligence.
I have to find the right man. If I don't...
1094
01:10:22,103 --> 01:10:25,631
Ah, you're right, Mr. Michele.
I told Mr. Peppino we need another man...
1095
01:10:25,632 --> 01:10:27,547
- I'm looking for a man to...
- This is simply too much for one person!
1096
01:10:27,548 --> 01:10:31,378
- I get awfully tired picking up...
- My God, how dumb can you get?
1097
01:10:31,379 --> 01:10:34,906
- ... this summer for the ...
- When they passed out brains, you missed the parade!
1098
01:10:34,907 --> 01:10:36,923
- No one told me about a parade!
- What are you doing with those shoes?
1099
01:10:36,924 --> 01:10:38,739
- I'm putting them back in the storeroom.
- Are those summer shoes?
1100
01:10:38,740 --> 01:10:40,554
- That shows how stupid you are!
- How stupid am I?
1101
01:10:40,555 --> 01:10:42,268
When it's warm in summer,
we sell summer shoes.
1102
01:10:42,269 --> 01:10:44,184
- I see, that makes sense.
- Now, will you get out of here?
1103
01:10:44,185 --> 01:10:47,612
Will you look at that boy? He's
thin as a toothpick and always working.
1104
01:10:47,613 --> 01:10:50,433
He's a poor example of the kids these days.
1105
01:10:51,444 --> 01:10:54,770
I have to get my hands on a real
stud! The right man would be glad to...
1106
01:10:55,275 --> 01:10:57,089
- Excuse me, Mr. Michele!
- What's the matter?
1107
01:10:57,090 --> 01:10:58,703
- I'm right here if you want to talk...
- Could I get by?
1108
01:10:58,704 --> 01:11:00,619
- You want to use the restroom?
- I just need to take a leak...
1109
01:11:00,620 --> 01:11:02,233
- Help yourself.
- Thank you, sir!
1110
01:11:02,234 --> 01:11:06,467
All I see ahead is misery. How am I going
to find anyone with the equipment I need?
1111
01:11:06,770 --> 01:11:09,588
The doctor says I'm
heading straight for the hospital...
1112
01:11:09,896 --> 01:11:12,517
Which reminds me,
I'd better take one of these pills.
1113
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:17,552
Excuse me, Tonino. Would you
get me a glass of water, please?
1114
01:11:18,159 --> 01:11:20,173
Tonino, would you get me a glass of ...
1115
01:11:20,780 --> 01:11:23,705
Do you mind putting that hammer
down for a minute, and getting me some wa...
1116
01:11:25,019 --> 01:11:26,933
That wasn't a hammer...
1117
01:11:29,253 --> 01:11:30,765
Eureka!
1118
01:11:31,067 --> 01:11:34,393
Giuditta works too hard for a woman her age.
She's worn out!
1119
01:11:34,898 --> 01:11:37,418
She gets more run down every day,
and more insulting!
1120
01:11:37,419 --> 01:11:40,140
Didn't I say, if you get someone
to help her, you'd see a difference?
1121
01:11:40,141 --> 01:11:43,667
The hell you will! Why couldn't
you get me someone with a grain of sense!
1122
01:11:43,668 --> 01:11:46,190
Always complaining!
Doesn't Tonino have any sense at all?
1123
01:11:46,191 --> 01:11:51,331
That boy's a fool! He's a moron! He used a
shoehorn to put the stuffing in the turkey!
1124
01:11:51,332 --> 01:11:54,558
Oh, that's only a carry-over
from his professional training!
1125
01:11:54,559 --> 01:11:57,179
The most important thing is
this - no one could be more honest!
1126
01:11:57,180 --> 01:11:59,801
He's presentable,
he's hard working, he's friendly...
1127
01:11:59,802 --> 01:12:04,035
- Presentable, is he?
- Yes he is! He may not be a beauty, but...
1128
01:12:04,036 --> 01:12:05,851
... he's an interesting type, in his own way.
1129
01:12:05,852 --> 01:12:11,294
Let's get an artist's perspective from Giulia.
Do you think Tonino is an interesting subject?
1130
01:12:11,295 --> 01:12:14,719
He could be sort of a wild creature!
1131
01:12:15,257 --> 01:12:18,957
I don't know. A very different
sort of wild creature, perhaps.
1132
01:12:18,958 --> 01:12:22,385
- What do you mean? He's got...
- He's not exactly sexy, is he, Michele!
1133
01:12:22,386 --> 01:12:28,030
Isn't he? I thought you were a better
judge than that. He's had more conquests than...
1134
01:12:28,031 --> 01:12:29,845
- What are you saying?
- Oh, nothing... skip it!
1135
01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:32,568
- Well, I'd like to hear a little gossip, Michele!
- No, I really can't...
1136
01:12:32,569 --> 01:12:38,415
But we all agree he's no great beauty, right? Yet
that young man has been the lover of more women...
1137
01:12:38,718 --> 01:12:41,238
- How is that possible?
- Apparently, he's got...
1138
01:12:41,239 --> 01:12:43,759
- He's got... ?
- I don't know how to put it...
1139
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:48,296
It's not easy in mixed company, but...
Excuse me. I've heard he has great vigor...
1140
01:12:48,297 --> 01:12:50,912
- What's the reason?
- Well, apparently ...
1141
01:12:53,929 --> 01:12:55,756
It seems that he has something extraordinary...
1142
01:12:55,757 --> 01:12:57,773
- No!
- Yes! The largest in town...
1143
01:12:57,774 --> 01:13:01,806
Well, the boy's talents are
well concealed, wouldn't you say?
1144
01:13:01,807 --> 01:13:08,053
It would be wonderful to get his face on canvas.
I would paint him as a satyr in a far-away land...
1145
01:13:08,964 --> 01:13:12,895
Here's our wild woodland creature now!
Don't panic! Come on in! We're all human...
1146
01:13:12,896 --> 01:13:15,516
- You'll get used to our ways, Tonino!
- Get in here...
1147
01:13:16,122 --> 01:13:20,557
If you look at him, you can see
he's a fine figure of a certain type ...
1148
01:13:20,558 --> 01:13:25,797
... in his own way.
All he needs is a haircut, and he'll be, uh...
1149
01:13:27,816 --> 01:13:30,839
I don't know. He looks like a stupid animal to me!
1150
01:13:30,841 --> 01:13:33,156
Quickly! Serve the food... !
1151
01:13:35,072 --> 01:13:39,099
I'd be glad to... only my hands are full!
1152
01:13:57,341 --> 01:14:01,380
Ah, how are you, Tonino? How's it going?
I hope you're happy here. That's the important thing.
1153
01:14:01,583 --> 01:14:04,007
- Are you finding the work easy?
- Is that some kind of a joke, Mr. Michele?
1154
01:14:04,008 --> 01:14:05,722
- This work is too hard for me!
- It is?
1155
01:14:05,723 --> 01:14:08,747
Wash, carry, scrub, paint, scrape, hammer, screw...
1156
01:14:08,748 --> 01:14:12,376
That's the idea!
You're saying they give you too much work here?
1157
01:14:12,579 --> 01:14:15,905
- That old lady works me like a mule!
- Then say something!
1158
01:14:15,906 --> 01:14:19,232
- I do! And she hits me!
- How dumb can you get?
1159
01:14:19,233 --> 01:14:22,854
Don't complain to the old lady!
You have to complain to your employer.
1160
01:14:22,855 --> 01:14:26,083
- You understand?
- I don't have much confidence in that...
1161
01:14:26,584 --> 01:14:29,415
What are you afraid of?
You're a big boy now, Tonino!
1162
01:14:29,416 --> 01:14:35,659
Besides, you've got your rights! If employers won't
listen to their employees, they make a symbolic protest.
1163
01:14:35,862 --> 01:14:38,080
- You've heard of streaking?
- No...
1164
01:14:38,381 --> 01:14:42,216
You must have read about guys and
girls who've protested by running naked...
1165
01:14:42,317 --> 01:14:45,946
Ah! Yes! In America... as protesters.
1166
01:14:45,947 --> 01:14:49,779
That's right! And I warn you as a friend you
won't get anywhere unless you let it all hang out!
1167
01:14:50,180 --> 01:14:52,998
- Take my clothes off?
- It's the only way to protest!
1168
01:15:02,573 --> 01:15:05,398
- I don't believe it!
- What is it?
1169
01:15:06,407 --> 01:15:09,533
Tonino... completely nude!
1170
01:15:10,237 --> 01:15:13,865
Nude? You must have imagined it!
1171
01:15:14,169 --> 01:15:17,796
- Quite an imagination!
- I must be losing my mind...
1172
01:15:18,806 --> 01:15:21,528
- Well? How did it go?
- I did just what you said...
1173
01:15:21,529 --> 01:15:23,041
- You have?
- Yes, Mr. Michele...
1174
01:15:23,042 --> 01:15:26,469
Are you sure they
got a good look at your... body?
1175
01:15:27,371 --> 01:15:30,300
- I don't know. I ran fast!
- They may not have seen you...
1176
01:15:30,301 --> 01:15:32,921
- Maybe not...
- You call that streaking?
1177
01:15:32,922 --> 01:15:36,047
You need to slow down a bit.
Stopping is even better!
1178
01:15:36,748 --> 01:15:41,273
- Do it with some bravado, Tonino!
- I'm too embarrassed to run around naked...
1179
01:15:41,274 --> 01:15:42,904
Why? You've got nothing to be ashamed of!
1180
01:15:42,905 --> 01:15:45,828
You have sex appeal!
There's no other word for it.
1181
01:15:45,829 --> 01:15:48,551
- Really? What makes you say so?
- You're loaded with it!
1182
01:15:48,552 --> 01:15:53,491
It's coming out of your hair! Out of your eyes!
Out of your nose. It's coming out of everywhere...
1183
01:15:53,492 --> 01:15:55,508
You have the kind of
mouth women just want to kiss!
1184
01:15:55,509 --> 01:15:57,726
Push your mouth out! Squeeze your lips...
1185
01:15:57,727 --> 01:15:59,441
You'll drive them out of their minds!
1186
01:15:59,744 --> 01:16:01,558
- Stop! That tickles...
- Let's look at those hands.
1187
01:16:01,559 --> 01:16:05,289
Women are very sensitive!
They'll respond to your slightest caress!
1188
01:16:05,290 --> 01:16:07,507
The women will go mad!
Come on, give it a try!
1189
01:16:07,508 --> 01:16:09,524
- Like this?
- Sure! Now go... protest!
1190
01:16:09,525 --> 01:16:11,541
Go on, Tonino! Show the world! Run...
1191
01:16:39,888 --> 01:16:41,588
Rape! Rape!
1192
01:16:43,589 --> 01:16:46,108
Thank God!
My prayers have been answered...
1193
01:16:52,729 --> 01:16:56,156
- Monica? Yoo hoo...
- Who is it?
1194
01:16:56,258 --> 01:16:58,677
It's your little Michele, darling...
1195
01:16:59,184 --> 01:17:03,617
I waited at the chicken coop for more than
an hour, my darling, but you never showed up!
1196
01:17:03,819 --> 01:17:06,641
I'm sorry.
You know I spent too much time out in the sun...
1197
01:17:06,642 --> 01:17:08,362
... so I need to stay inside
until this bad sunburn clears up.
1198
01:17:08,463 --> 01:17:13,500
Oh... you'd better stay in bed! The
Almanac predicts a month of strong sunshine!
1199
01:17:13,501 --> 01:17:17,620
- It does?
- Yes... you'd best just stay in bed! Very good!
1200
01:17:17,742 --> 01:17:20,456
- Well, good night, dear...
- Good night!
1201
01:17:20,557 --> 01:17:23,080
- Good night!
- ... night!
1202
01:17:29,004 --> 01:17:30,840
You're certainly well endowed...
1203
01:17:30,841 --> 01:17:32,241
Let me have a turn at his majesty...
1204
01:17:32,442 --> 01:17:34,042
Please don't push, ladies...
1205
01:17:34,043 --> 01:17:35,579
No, this doesn't sound like rape!
1206
01:17:35,580 --> 01:17:37,280
Tonino is the king of love...
1207
01:17:37,281 --> 01:17:41,728
What's Giuila doing in there?
Both sisters are in there!
1208
01:17:41,729 --> 01:17:47,471
They have a threesome going! It's like
the fable... killing two birds with one stone!
1209
01:17:47,478 --> 01:17:50,396
- I wouldn't have believed it!
- Amazing! Just incredible!
1210
01:17:51,406 --> 01:17:53,522
The fact is, it's
never happened to me in my life!
1211
01:17:54,128 --> 01:17:57,757
I never thought it would happen. I don't know what
to say. I almost feel like it shouldn't have happened.
1212
01:17:58,009 --> 01:18:00,275
- But it did!
- Excuse me. Don't forget ...
1213
01:18:00,276 --> 01:18:02,292
... the pot we started
with should be added to that.
1214
01:18:02,293 --> 01:18:05,821
- Right. 20 pots, with a total of 6 million.
- Excuse me... 7 million!
1215
01:18:05,822 --> 01:18:08,442
That's right. 7 million. Of course...
1216
01:18:08,443 --> 01:18:11,468
I want it to be right, without appearing greedy...
1217
01:18:11,571 --> 01:18:13,887
- Today's the...
- The 24th.
1218
01:18:13,888 --> 01:18:15,703
- 24... all day.
- Yes, the 24th...
1219
01:18:16,510 --> 01:18:19,231
- Pay to Mr. Michele... ?
- Cammagliulo.
1220
01:18:19,232 --> 01:18:21,853
Cammagliulo... I dare say you'll never forget it.
1221
01:18:23,366 --> 01:18:26,087
- There you are!
- I hope that next time you're...
1222
01:18:26,088 --> 01:18:28,104
- Ah... it's all in the game!
- I'm happy to hear you feel...
1223
01:18:28,105 --> 01:18:30,323
I don't mind the money.
After all, what's 7 million to me?
1224
01:18:30,432 --> 01:18:32,345
- There's something I don't...
- What's that?
1225
01:18:32,546 --> 01:18:34,558
- There's something wrong with the...
- There can't be!
1226
01:18:34,559 --> 01:18:36,076
I made it out for 7 million. What's wrong?
1227
01:18:36,177 --> 01:18:40,008
- You're not feeling chilly, or something?
- No! I'm sweating. What do you mean?
1228
01:18:40,714 --> 01:18:44,847
The funny thing is, you wrote December, and it should
have been July. Would you mind writing another check?
1229
01:18:45,348 --> 01:18:48,980
- Michele! May I call you Michele?
- Of course, it's my name...
1230
01:18:48,981 --> 01:18:52,408
If I don't date that check for
December, I'll be utterly ruined!
1231
01:18:52,609 --> 01:18:55,332
No... I'm the one who'll be
ruined if you date the check for December.
1232
01:18:55,333 --> 01:18:59,869
But you're young! You'll bounce back.
I'm an old man who's too fat to bounce anywhere!
1233
01:18:59,870 --> 01:19:02,894
Maybe a couple of months? I'm
willing to wait until September. Why not?
1234
01:19:02,895 --> 01:19:05,314
But to go beyond that...
A man in my condition!
1235
01:19:05,515 --> 01:19:08,137
I simply can't, Michele!
My business is facing a crisis!
1236
01:19:08,138 --> 01:19:11,666
Stocks and bonds are
fluctuating too fast to keep track of!
1237
01:19:11,667 --> 01:19:14,990
The Arabs have us in a corner!
Look, I'll tell you what I'll do!
1238
01:19:15,291 --> 01:19:17,413
- Let's say I just rip this up!
- So you can write me a new one...
1239
01:19:17,414 --> 01:19:22,249
No... the best plan
is a six-month promissory note!
1240
01:19:22,654 --> 01:19:25,275
- Mr. Caminata, I'm not...
- Will you stop with this "Mister"?
1241
01:19:25,276 --> 01:19:27,998
- My name is Gervasio!
- Your name is Gervasio?
1242
01:19:27,999 --> 01:19:29,813
- Yes!
- And that's what I'm supposed to call you?
1243
01:19:29,814 --> 01:19:31,830
- I'd be obliged if you would, Michele!
- Gervasio...
1244
01:19:31,831 --> 01:19:35,358
- Yes, Michele?
- Fuck you! You can take your note and shove it!
1245
01:19:35,763 --> 01:19:40,095
It's the kind of luck I've always had. He
wouldn't pay what he owed me, the rich bastard!
1246
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,999
So, in effect, you didn't win!
1247
01:19:43,220 --> 01:19:46,852
You must know that without that
money, I couldn't possibly go away with you!
1248
01:19:46,853 --> 01:19:50,179
- You need that money to leave here!
- Yes, but it just means waiting a while longer.
1249
01:19:50,180 --> 01:19:53,002
He gave me a promissory note for
four months. Four months isn't so bad!
1250
01:19:53,084 --> 01:19:56,430
- But we can't live for four months on credit!
- We'll manage, I promise.
1251
01:19:56,431 --> 01:20:00,161
You'll have all the money you need. You
just let me work it out. My word of honor!
1252
01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:03,185
Whenever Michele Cammagliulo says
he'll do something, you can bet on it!
1253
01:20:03,388 --> 01:20:06,813
- I just had a marvelous idea!
- You have? That's wonderful!
1254
01:20:10,066 --> 01:20:13,082
Hey now! That's not what I had in mind!
1255
01:20:13,083 --> 01:20:14,603
Why don't we just relax, if that's possible!
1256
01:20:15,309 --> 01:20:19,326
A little peace and quiet...
And give my needle a rest!
1257
01:20:22,764 --> 01:20:28,949
Don't you know by now? You must
have the strength to do better than that!
1258
01:20:29,350 --> 01:20:30,664
I'm sorry...
1259
01:20:36,213 --> 01:20:39,136
This tastes awful!
Has someone bathed in it?
1260
01:20:39,540 --> 01:20:43,874
- Let me ask you a couple of questions.
- I'm ready! Is it some kind of quiz?
1261
01:20:43,875 --> 01:20:46,697
Yes, you might call it a quiz.
Now pay attention and concentrate.
1262
01:20:46,698 --> 01:20:48,714
Open your ears and keep your mouth shut!
You ready?
1263
01:20:48,715 --> 01:20:54,158
Suppose I say to you, Tonino, tonight you
won't be seeing Miss Monica or Miss Giuila?
1264
01:20:54,159 --> 01:20:56,779
- Instead, you'll stay put in your room.
- I'd say, I'm sorry, but I must see them!
1265
01:20:56,780 --> 01:20:59,401
- Why is that?
- Because those two ladies, they...
1266
01:20:59,402 --> 01:21:02,325
- ... pay me to see them!
- Marvelous! You see, you're not so stupid.
1267
01:21:02,326 --> 01:21:04,947
- Thanks, Mr. Michele!
- You appear to be, but you're not!
1268
01:21:04,948 --> 01:21:08,072
And it's true, you take care
of the sisters because they pay you.
1269
01:21:08,275 --> 01:21:10,291
But tonight, you're
not going to take care of them!
1270
01:21:11,098 --> 01:21:13,819
- But my pay... ?
- You won't lose a bit of the money, Tonino.
1271
01:21:13,820 --> 01:21:16,139
I'm going to pay you out of my own pocket.
1272
01:21:17,652 --> 01:21:19,164
- Three hundred!
- What??
1273
01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:23,196
- 300.000!
- You're telling me that they pay you...
1274
01:21:23,197 --> 01:21:27,320
- You know about my penus...
- You're very funny, Tonino. Very funny...
1275
01:21:28,137 --> 01:21:31,866
- I don't know... could we make it... ?
- No, that's too much, Tonino!
1276
01:21:31,867 --> 01:21:34,186
- That's too much. Just forget it!
- But you don't know what I was going to say!
1277
01:21:34,187 --> 01:21:38,118
It doesn't matter, Tonino. No deal!
2.000?
1278
01:21:38,119 --> 01:21:39,833
- No!
- 20.000?
1279
01:21:39,834 --> 01:21:41,546
200.000...
1280
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:43,161
200.000?
1281
01:21:44,064 --> 01:21:48,000
What a nerve you've got, Tonino! What I'll
do is give you 50.000 because I'm in a hurry.
1282
01:21:48,001 --> 01:21:50,420
And you're a friend.
You won't get a better offer from anyone.
1283
01:21:50,925 --> 01:21:54,453
Tonight you'll stay away, and tomorrow
you can say you had an upset stomach.
1284
01:21:54,454 --> 01:21:55,663
- And you'll pay?
- Sure... I'll pay!
1285
01:21:55,664 --> 01:21:57,076
- I hear you, but...
- Yes?
1286
01:21:57,877 --> 01:21:59,294
- There's just one more thing!
- Yes... what?
1287
01:21:59,295 --> 01:22:02,520
It's this room!
I don't know... it's depressing!
1288
01:22:03,227 --> 01:22:04,940
- It's depressing?
- Yup...
1289
01:22:04,941 --> 01:22:07,663
You used to sleep in the back room
at the store, on top of the shoe boxes.
1290
01:22:07,664 --> 01:22:09,680
- I'm trying to forget about that.
- Things are looking up now?
1291
01:22:09,681 --> 01:22:14,418
You're treating yourself well! New suspenders...
I'll speak with the ladies and see what we can do!
1292
01:22:14,419 --> 01:22:18,148
- Is there any other room you have in mind?
- Oh, I don't know. How about...
1293
01:22:18,149 --> 01:22:20,367
- ... your room.
- My room?
1294
01:22:20,368 --> 01:22:22,384
Yeah... that'll be fine.
1295
01:22:23,442 --> 01:22:24,853
That boy has no shame...
1296
01:22:25,054 --> 01:22:27,575
- Well then, knock again!
- I did, and got the same reply.
1297
01:22:27,576 --> 01:22:31,197
Tonino says he's staying in bed
tonight because he doesn't feel well.
1298
01:22:31,298 --> 01:22:35,730
The pig!
Are you feeling unwell yourself?
1299
01:22:36,134 --> 01:22:38,254
- How about if I try?
- Are you crazy?
1300
01:22:38,255 --> 01:22:41,178
It would wake up the
entire house... or you could get Michele.
1301
01:22:41,579 --> 01:22:44,695
- Isn't Michelle playing cards tonight?
- He didn't go...
1302
01:22:47,696 --> 01:22:49,337
No, my loves...
1303
01:22:50,148 --> 01:22:54,282
No cards tonight!
I'd like to try a new game...
1304
01:22:55,588 --> 01:23:00,732
- Ah, Michele! What's the matter, dear?
- Save the hypocrisy, Monica!
1305
01:23:00,733 --> 01:23:03,453
I know what you've
been up to, behind my back!
1306
01:23:03,558 --> 01:23:07,180
- Like a couple of whoring rabbits!
- Oh! Must you be so vulgar, darling?
1307
01:23:07,181 --> 01:23:09,102
How dare you impugn my behavior!
1308
01:23:09,103 --> 01:23:13,032
Cut the charade! I've known for a
long time that you two work together!
1309
01:23:13,736 --> 01:23:15,959
- I'm not listening to any more of this...
- Did you think I was that stupid?
1310
01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:18,779
Like I said, tonight it's a new game. Get ready!
1311
01:23:18,830 --> 01:23:23,077
- And what is this new game, if I might ask?
- The first person who cries enough is out ...
1312
01:23:23,078 --> 01:23:28,104
- ... and pays a penalty: 5 million lire!
- You're just blowing smoke!
1313
01:23:28,105 --> 01:23:31,633
- Where will you get 5 million if we win?
- Easy...
1314
01:23:32,539 --> 01:23:35,972
I'll use my severance pay.
You know, all that money the Ministry withheld...
1315
01:23:36,073 --> 01:23:41,109
You're on, Michele, but you'd better be careful!
1316
01:23:41,110 --> 01:23:44,739
You may lose everything by crying uncle first!
1317
01:23:44,844 --> 01:23:49,478
- Really? You think I'm going to lose?
- Yes, you may well lose, Michele...
1318
01:23:49,479 --> 01:23:52,106
You've never been to bed
with Monica and me, together!
1319
01:23:52,107 --> 01:23:54,320
I'm not afraid of you two!
1320
01:23:54,321 --> 01:23:59,562
I hope you realize, Michele,
that this isn't a challenge. It's suicide...
1321
01:23:59,563 --> 01:24:02,386
Go ahead, attack! My defenses are up!
1322
01:24:02,387 --> 01:24:07,023
- I'll give you one chance to back out...
- No! What I said, stands!
1323
01:24:07,024 --> 01:24:11,157
You'll never make it, Michele! Surrender!
1324
01:24:12,065 --> 01:24:14,981
- I am a god among studs!
- Michele... !
1325
01:24:18,615 --> 01:24:20,331
Come in, doctor! It's an emergency!
1326
01:24:20,836 --> 01:24:22,448
In there! Come on...
1327
01:24:23,256 --> 01:24:25,070
This way, doctor. Hurry!
1328
01:24:25,877 --> 01:24:27,289
Will you hurry?
1329
01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:31,220
This way, doctor...
1330
01:24:32,225 --> 01:24:34,039
It looks like a heart attack!
1331
01:24:34,746 --> 01:24:38,376
Please... help the ladies.
I'll survive ...
1332
01:24:38,401 --> 01:24:40,618
... but they may be dead!
I hope you've come in time!
1333
01:24:41,519 --> 01:24:45,185
- The women... the poor women...
- What have you done?
1334
01:24:46,744 --> 01:24:49,564
- I just lost control...
- Murderer!
1335
01:24:55,013 --> 01:24:58,213
The check...
Eva!
1336
01:25:00,314 --> 01:25:02,939
Eva!! It's 5 million... !
1337
01:25:14,674 --> 01:25:16,083
Is this how...
1338
01:25:19,709 --> 01:25:21,730
Eva... I didn't give it to you.
1339
01:25:22,031 --> 01:25:25,557
How could you? With Tonino? Tonino?
1340
01:25:25,860 --> 01:25:28,279
- Why did you do this to me, Eva?
- Michele? Michele?
1341
01:25:28,280 --> 01:25:29,897
- Why did you do this to me...
- Michele! It's me!
1342
01:25:30,198 --> 01:25:33,926
Peppino!?
Eva? Where's Eva?
1343
01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:35,539
Eva's not here.
She went to the station.
1344
01:25:35,540 --> 01:25:37,556
- The station? You mean she's gone?
- Yeah...
1345
01:25:37,759 --> 01:25:39,875
- What message did she leave for me?
- There isn't any...
1346
01:25:39,876 --> 01:25:41,691
- There must be!
- But there isn't...
1347
01:25:41,692 --> 01:25:44,212
There must be an
envelope with a letter - a message!
1348
01:25:44,213 --> 01:25:50,865
There's nothing? Just a second! When I fell,
I was holding... look in the pocket of my robe!
1349
01:25:50,866 --> 01:25:52,882
- This one over here?
- I want to see if there's a piece of paper...
1350
01:25:52,883 --> 01:25:55,403
When I fainted, I was holding
it in my hand. A piece of paper...
1351
01:25:55,404 --> 01:25:57,419
Look in the other side...
1352
01:25:57,420 --> 01:25:59,436
Did you look in that side?
The other side?
1353
01:25:59,437 --> 01:26:01,655
There's another pocket!
Look once more!
1354
01:26:01,656 --> 01:26:04,075
- Try the inside...
- There is no inside pcoket...
1355
01:26:04,076 --> 01:26:06,999
- That's all! That finishes it...
- That finishes it...
1356
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,915
- It's empty, then?
- It's empty! Look!
1357
01:26:08,916 --> 01:26:11,133
She took it! That bitch!
1358
01:26:11,637 --> 01:26:12,848
- Hey, where are you going?
- After Eva!
1359
01:26:12,849 --> 01:26:14,764
- Are you crazy, Michele? She's run away!
- What do you mean?
1360
01:26:14,765 --> 01:26:16,781
- She ran away from her worthless husband!
- Alberto?
1361
01:26:16,782 --> 01:26:19,605
- Yeah! She's leaving on the next train.
- She's waiting for me at the station!
1362
01:26:19,606 --> 01:26:21,106
Wait, Michele! You need to know...
1363
01:26:32,096 --> 01:26:35,125
- Excuse me! Did you see a tall guy in pajamas?
- Yes, just a few minutes ago...
1364
01:26:35,126 --> 01:26:37,643
- Which way did he go?
- Which way would you go, dressed like that?
1365
01:26:37,644 --> 01:26:39,557
The sleeping car, naturally...
1366
01:26:54,803 --> 01:26:56,496
Eva!
1367
01:26:59,602 --> 01:27:01,133
You mustn't leave me, Eva!
1368
01:27:01,134 --> 01:27:02,747
How can you treat me like this?
1369
01:27:02,748 --> 01:27:05,169
- Who's he, a friend of yours?
- Are you kidding?
1370
01:27:05,470 --> 01:27:08,495
So, what do you want?
What more is there to say?
1371
01:27:08,596 --> 01:27:12,225
There's just one thing to say. You've
got to give me the check. I'm desperate!
1372
01:27:12,326 --> 01:27:14,504
- It's mine now!
- How can it be yours?
1373
01:27:14,545 --> 01:27:17,468
Don't be like that, Eva! You know it's my check!
1374
01:27:17,469 --> 01:27:21,096
- The one you took from me in the bathroom...
- Ah... so that's all you really care about!
1375
01:27:21,097 --> 01:27:22,908
That's all this is about.
You're a fool!
1376
01:27:23,021 --> 01:27:27,148
But that money is mine, Eva!
It's money I worked for!
1377
01:27:27,149 --> 01:27:29,971
- And I didn't?
- No... don't say that!
1378
01:27:29,972 --> 01:27:34,407
- I've got to have that money! Please...
- You'll just have to try and win in back.
1379
01:27:34,912 --> 01:27:36,130
- That's what I'd do...
- No! This isn't like you!
1380
01:27:36,231 --> 01:27:39,431
After all we planned, you're nothing but a thief!
1381
01:27:39,457 --> 01:27:42,178
Say something, you dirty crook!
1382
01:27:42,482 --> 01:27:43,893
You German bitch!
1383
01:27:45,313 --> 01:27:49,329
Eva... denari seno te!
[Your breasts are your fortune!]
1384
01:27:49,533 --> 01:27:52,352
That was so romantic.
What did it mean?
1385
01:27:52,353 --> 01:27:54,070
- A wasp doesn't purr.
- What?
1386
01:27:54,675 --> 01:27:56,086
Good luck, you whore!
1387
01:27:58,406 --> 01:27:59,918
You dirty...
1388
01:28:03,037 --> 01:28:07,881
Michele! Michele, say something!
Talk to me, Michele!
1389
01:28:12,049 --> 01:28:13,249
No more...
1390
01:28:16,150 --> 01:28:18,670
Who could have predicted it?
He was so young...
1391
01:28:18,670 --> 01:28:21,039
But he picked the best way to die!
1392
01:28:21,140 --> 01:28:23,458
Thank you, but he leaves an awful gap in our lives.
1393
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:25,872
He leaves me feeling empty... empty!
1394
01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:34,245
You missed a beautiful service!
1395
01:28:34,448 --> 01:28:37,068
Honestly! How we all mourned!
1396
01:28:37,472 --> 01:28:39,487
Poor Tonino...
1397
01:28:43,919 --> 01:28:51,075
I'll always remember him. You have to
admire his courage, but he was in over his head!
1398
01:28:52,392 --> 01:28:58,522
Well, let's go home an eat.
It's getting late!
1399
01:29:08,007 --> 01:29:10,524
Hey! What's your game?
1400
01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:14,057
135572
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