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1
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:07,590
I can't hold them off, Rick!
There's too many!
2
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:15,932
Richard! Your fortress
is a salty waste of coral and clam.
3
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,100
Relinquish it at once!
4
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,444
-Submit, you continental cunt.
-Got a better idea.
5
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,029
Oh shit, oh shit.
6
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,911
-Happy?
-Of course I'm happy,
7
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,622
you're acting like you won
but this is exactly what I wanted.
8
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,875
I am Mister Nimbus!
9
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,002
Whatever. Come on, Morty.
10
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:47,964
-Man, that was intense.
-Yeah, nice work, buddy.
11
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,883
Sorry I had to blow up your bunker.
12
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:55,847
Not so fast, Sanchez.
It is I, Cookie Magneto.
13
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:56,973
What the fuck.
14
00:00:57,056 --> 00:01:00,185
-I'm not engaging this guy.
-That's hardly up to you, Rick.
15
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:03,188
I'm sorry, do you control things
that people agree are cookies?
16
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,732
-Yes.
-Okay but cookies aren't a substance,
17
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,485
-they're more of a name we-we give to
-To the things I control
18
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,821
Do you control cookie ingredients,
because y'know that sounds dangerous,
19
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,242
-y'know, everything has sugar in it.
-Fight me and find ou...
20
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,912
-Jesus, Rick!
-I'm sorry, Morty, I know you're gonna say
21
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,498
it's punching down but I can't fight
another one of these nineties
22
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,875
style goofball super villains,
I'm not the fucking Tick,
23
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,710
-I'm exhausted.
-Okay but
24
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,630
if you really have a lot of these guys
gunning for you maybe you should look
25
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:31,508
-into what you're doing to...
-Don't start that crap, Morty.
26
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,760
I don't do anything for
these dipshits to seek me out
27
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,137
I am Mr. Calypso.
28
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:41,309
Face me, you ugly, drunk,
ugly piece of shit.
29
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,937
Okay I might look into it.
30
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,056
-Why don't you have a seat?
-Because this isn't a therapy session,
31
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,225
I'm just asking you what
people in your racket
32
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,727
say about handling
this particular situation.
33
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,355
First we'd want you
to define the situation.
34
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:30,024
I'm a walking target
for a neverending sea of angry nerds
35
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,901
that think getting in a fight
with me is some kind of
36
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,571
I don't know, platform?
I mean, look at this guy.
37
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,239
He shows up and calls me an "ugly drunk."
38
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,908
Because of course that's the angle
of attack that's gonna undo me, right.
39
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,161
You don't shoot Batman
in his fucking Batman logo.
40
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,497
And you think locking
this man in a chamber
41
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,584
and milking him of cosmic fluid
will somehow resolve this?
42
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,379
I think it's the best I can do to profit
from a situation and maybe set an example.
43
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:55,091
But you've set this example many times
and it's not changing your situation.
44
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,302
Yeah and now you're gonna
tell me to ignore them
45
00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,680
-but guess what, they want that too.
-And why would they want to be ignored?
46
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,599
You really believe
if I let a guy like this
47
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,893
do whatever he wants,
he gets bored and vanishes?
48
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,604
Rick, would you be interested
in proving me wrong?
49
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,814
-Yes.
-Then show me data.
50
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,941
Ignore them for a week
and see what happens.
51
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,943
You're on, bitch.
52
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,029
Is that man dead?
53
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,615
Is everything in here confidential?
54
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,199
-Everything but murder.
-Then he's fine.
55
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,536
I mean, I think it's pretty big, you know?
56
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,288
Big step for the big cheese.
57
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,999
-Yeah, Dad, I'm impressed.
-Can we not make it a big deal?
58
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,500
It's worth celebrating, Rick.
59
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,127
You accepted the concept of therapy
60
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,713
without turning yourself into
a pickle or a housefly.
61
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,925
Jerry, for fuck's sake, that was
a regular fly in her office that day.
62
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,177
-What the hell?
-Rick!
63
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,054
How ‘bout a little piss?
64
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,514
Rick, why is there a man shooting piss
65
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,308
-on our front lawn?
-I'm sure he'll tell you.
66
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:51,439
I am Pissmaster! Here to flush
the toilet that is Rick Sanchez.
67
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,652
He's spraying my lavender bush.
My bees need that lavender.
68
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,488
Remember five seconds ago when you
guys were stoked about me changing
69
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,239
because it made you feel superior?
70
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,368
Whole family's here.
Who's that redhead?
71
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,578
Wouldn't mind spraying her
with a golden shower.
72
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,121
-Oh my god, what?
-Hey!
73
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,165
-Okay, that's it!
-Jerry, please think about this,
74
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,959
if you fight this guy,
I'm either an asshole
75
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,627
for not helping or an asshole for helping.
76
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:16,547
My daughter just got spoken of in
porno terms and I'll respond how I choose.
77
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:17,548
-Wait Dad, don't.
-Honey.
78
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,593
-Hey.
-You want a piece of piss?
79
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:24,180
If that's your stupid rude way
of saying I have to fight you I will.
80
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:27,100
-Take your shot, pussy.
-Don't talk to me that way,
81
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,267
-go away.
-Make me.
82
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,978
Go away.
83
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,023
Careful, honey!
84
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,368
Just stay down.
85
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,996
-I don't even know you.
-Yeah you don't know me.
86
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,873
But I'm gonna know your whole ass
you son of a gun.
87
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,006
-Hey, none of that. Come on.
-Break it up, guys.
88
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:06,139
Come on, you dirty motherfucker.
89
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,937
No! No!
90
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,068
Stop!
91
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,323
Uncle! Mercy! Mercy! Stop! I give up!
92
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,618
-Apologize to my daughter.
-For what?
93
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,412
You know for what!
94
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:35,668
I'm sorry! I'm sorry I sexualized you!
It came out wrong!
95
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,464
That's my dad. That's my fucking dad!
96
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,135
Honey, I'm so proud of you.
97
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,972
-Oh sorry.
-Thank you, Rick.
98
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,810
Damn, hashtag FlamingoDad is everywhere!
99
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,606
Buzzfeed made an odd numbered list
of other people's observations about you
100
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,775
and you're getting a lot
of hand clap emojis
101
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,818
on White Twitter's impression
of Black Twitter.
102
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:04,280
Jezebel's offering a cash reward
for evidence that you're a bad person.
103
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,325
-That is their highest honor!
-So this is what it's like to trend.
104
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,701
Feels good.
105
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078
-Feels right.
-Just keep in mind now
106
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,080
a bunch more assholes are gonna
know they can get a rise out of you.
107
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,292
-Rick, let a dog have one day.
-I'm letting. I'm letting.
108
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:20,379
Are those orbs?
109
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,173
This is what I'm talking about.
110
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,718
Some asshole saw that fight and believe
it not, they were jealous of Pissmaster.
111
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:33,643
I am Blagnar the Eternal. We seek the
earthling who beat up Pissmaster.
112
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,144
That's my dad, Jerry Smith!
113
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:40,066
Jerry Smith. Our Galactic Orbship thirsts
for justice and those who deliver it.
114
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,317
-Wait, what?
-Our great council
115
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,988
would like to offer you this silver orb.
And with it, a place amongst us.
116
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,658
-It's sticky.
-Yeah.
117
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,202
That means it's found a pure heart
it wants to bond with.
118
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:54,163
you guys saw my son-in-law on the
news, now he gets a sticky orb,
119
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,082
what's the catch? We're not rubes.
120
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,960
Yeah your power is well known
in our jurisdiction, Rick Sanchez,
121
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:02,547
and it should come as no surprise
that our orbs are unsticky for you.
122
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:06,342
Oh no, first I get banned from the
Next Door app, now this.
123
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,886
I'd be honored to join your organization.
124
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,141
So what do I do, rub the orb when I see
crime, or eat the orb like spinach?
125
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:17,145
The orb is raw power.
Trust your heart, Jerry.
126
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,729
It will know what to do.
127
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:28,573
-Did you turn on the microwave?
-No? Maybe? I was trying to fly.
128
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,076
-What?
-I mean, come on, Rick.
129
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,872
-Orbs and goblets, this is your thing.
-Orbs and goblets.
130
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:39,500
I'm just saying, you're the orb guy in
the family. Can you please help me?
131
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,170
Jerry, I give you raw power,
you'll end up miserable like me.
132
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,006
-Trust me, I'm helping by not helping.
-Seriously, Rick?
133
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,384
What the eff, Grandpa! Some creep tried
to pee on my tits and you did nothing,
134
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:51,220
now you're gonna sit there
and hold our dad back from being a hero?
135
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,890
-Are you seriously that petty?
-Okay, you know what, fine!
136
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,808
Here. Here's your goddamn suit.
137
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,186
I hard-wired the orb's
infinite energy right into it.
138
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,229
This shooty-thing looks cool.
139
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,774
That "shooty thing" is a nuclear
disruptor that can blow up planets.
140
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,276
-So tight.
-Kinda hot.
141
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:09,780
Ok show me acts of evil
happening around the galaxy.
142
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:15,369
Space Hitlers? "Space Hitlers
are convening on Zeplar Prime."
143
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,747
My god, each one of them
is their own type of Hitler
144
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,207
-Yeah, that's a problem.
-Oh shit, do that one.
145
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,250
-You guys.
-That's my parents.
146
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:27,548
Well family, looks like Jerry
Smith has his first orb mission.
147
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,926
Lawn Flaming-ho!
148
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,429
Just a reminder, you guys asked for this.
149
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:38,309
Soon, our legion of Hitlers will bring
about a new galactic order.
150
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,229
-A reich, if you will.
-Riddle Hitler me this.
151
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,023
I'm sorry, are we just
letting in all Hitlers now?
152
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,486
-Auf wiedersehen, bad guys!
-Exterminate him!
153
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,197
Shit, oh Jesus. One at a time!
154
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:54,784
Oh my god!
155
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,708
Hope there weren't
other people on that planet.
156
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,629
And there were no other people
on the planet. Only Hitlers.
157
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,965
Each one ready to start
their own holocaust,
158
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,718
meaning an estimated thirty billion
lives were saved by a single blast.
159
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,931
And the galaxy owes it all to Jerry Smith.
Hashtag FlamingoDad.
160
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,935
-You gotta be fucking kidding me.
-Up next, oh actually nothing.
161
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,853
I guess we're just gonna
talk about Jerry Smith some more.
162
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:29,026
I dunno, therapy is starting to feel
hopeless. I've got so many issues!
163
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,154
-We need to talk.
-Hey. No.
164
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:36,659
I will not speak with you if you refuse
to treat me and my patients with respect.
165
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:44,250
Oh lord. I was a fly!
So unburdened, so free of shame!
166
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,501
Welp, I'm officially cured!
167
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,504
Here. Here's your data.
Hard proof that god hates me.
168
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,965
I ignored a troll and Jerry
beat the guy's ass.
169
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,968
Now he's got this orb and he's
using the power which I gave him
170
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,887
to annihilate planets of Hitlers
and everyone's popping champagne.
171
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,683
Rick, you came here because you wanted
things to change and they're changing.
172
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,767
It's working.
173
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,438
So if my bumbling moron of a son-in-law
beats up people, it's "working".
174
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,398
But if I do it, it's a
cosmic abuse of power?
175
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,066
Rick, listen to yourself.
176
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,445
You're complaining about how you have
to be careful with your immense power.
177
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:16,115
And that Hitlers are dead.
Everything you're describing is positive.
178
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:20,494
Oh shit, not reacting.
That really is the kill move?
179
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,164
I don't know if you need
to think about it in terms of murder,
180
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,874
but yes just stay the course.
181
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,210
-Okay, good talk.
-Well what you're describing is therapy
182
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,962
and if you'd like to keep receiving it,
183
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,381
start scheduling your visits
with Judy up front.
184
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,593
Thank you, thank you Flamingo Fam.
185
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,554
you know, when they asked me
if I wanted to be the first human
186
00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:42,391
to drive a Mitsubishi Space Lancer,
I thought well I don't know,
187
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,936
I got this cool orb suit that goes
really fast. But you know what sold me?
188
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,107
The Council said I could pick
my own bridge crew.
189
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,735
Morty, Summer, Beth, what do you say?
190
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,405
-What? Are you serious?
-Oh shit yeah, I love Mitsubishi!
191
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,407
-Me too! I've heard of them!
-This is so exciting!
192
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,992
Oh my god this is so cool!
193
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,328
Alright gang, orbs away!
194
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:13,130
O me o my, can it be?
A giant piece of shit I see?
195
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,929
I am Mr. Stringbean!
No one resists my rhyming scheme!
196
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,098
Hey douchebag, why don't you chill out?
197
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,351
-Who's this asshole?
-I am Doctor Buckles!
198
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,353
Here to tighten the belt on your opinions!
199
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,439
You wanna see the Bean get mean?
200
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,112
I'll be damned. I'm out.
201
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,364
I'm out.
202
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:42,868
I'm-I'm out.
203
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,705
Oh my god, this Piss Guy
is getting wailed on.
204
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,459
Look at him, he tried to crawl
under the car. What a loser.
205
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,586
-Hey you watching the Pissmaster video?
-Yeah.
206
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,548
He has to be the biggest
piece of shit in the galaxy, right?
207
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,260
Without a doubt. Who could relate,
being that much of a piece of shit.
208
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:35,921
Goddamnit.
209
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:42,261
Fuck, shit, come on man.
Fuck, come on where is it? Shit, shit.
210
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:46,724
Fuck!
211
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,352
Come on Pissmaster, come on.
212
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,527
Damn it.
213
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,580
It's me. Please, please just open up
214
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,168
Dad? Mom told me you weren't responding
to her calls and I'm worried, okay?
215
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,962
I know I said terrible things
about you on my podcast,
216
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,298
it's just, I've been
so frustrated with you.
217
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,968
Look, if you were to ever do something
I'd never stop blaming myself.
218
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,261
Just, please.
219
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,680
-Please let me know you're okay.
-God damn it.
220
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,561
-I'm okay honey, we're good.
-I thought something happened to you.
221
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,064
I can tell you for sure.
If anything happens to me,
222
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,650
it's 100% not on you, it's my own choice.
223
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,736
You still sound like you're
gonna do something bad.
224
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405
Just promise you won't, okay?
225
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,409
-Okay, yeah. Promise.
-Love you, Dad.
226
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,082
Fuck.
227
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:06,971
Well this is it. I'm killing myself
because of Jerry Smith. The Earth man.
228
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:12,351
FlamingoDad. Seeing them all cheer
as I got my ass whipped made me realize.
229
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:19,149
People just wanna see me fail. All I've
ever wanted to do is prove them wrong.
230
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:35,791
Help!
231
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,004
Wait! Who are you?
232
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,341
Pissmaster. Make, make sure you
tell everybody Pissmaster saved you.
233
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,386
Those were heat-seeking pissiles
by the way. Not just missiles.
234
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,263
Oh, okay.
235
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,639
Y'all ready for piss?
236
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,768
Yo! Pissmaster! You saving that cat
to make people forget you suck?
237
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,437
Nope, just saving it to save it.
238
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,730
Okay, we got nothing.
239
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:10,492
Piss! Pee! Urine! Number one!
240
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:16,957
Pee pee! Piss! Pee pee!
-Look, it's Pissmaster!
241
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,045
Dr. Wong, what's up?
242
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:24,006
-Rick, you're late for your session.
-Cancel it. Bill me. I'm good.
243
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,633
You're good?
244
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:28,344
Yeah see, I put on the suit of my
enemy and I fucking love it.
245
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,554
Now I'm gonna make a giant bomb,
plant it in a city,
246
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,015
and then have his suit
auto-pilot the bomb into space.
247
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,101
Boom. Everyone will think
Pissmaster sacrificed himself.
248
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,147
He dies a hero, I get a win I'd otherwise
never get myself, nice wet bow on top.
249
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:44,860
I'm tempted to second guess a lot of
that but I think you might be nailing it.
250
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:47,488
-What?
-If it's free and fun, do it.
251
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,614
It sounds healthy.
252
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,575
That wasn't my goal but, good to know.
Shit, gotta go.
253
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,797
No, exactly. And the slave planet thing,
254
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,591
I hear he broke their chains
with pure urine, so.
255
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:13,055
Hey guys, sorry I'm late,
lot of traffic on the orbway.
256
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:17,643
Take a seat, Jerry. We were just
discussing Pissmaster's honorable rise.
257
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,894
I mean, who cares, right?
258
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,898
People are talking about him.
He's becoming likable. Good, even.
259
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,776
-But he's Pissmaster.
-People change, Jerry.
260
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,486
Everyone loves a comeback story.
261
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,529
-Yes.
-I agree.
262
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:33,867
All in favor of offering orbship
to Eugene Michael Piss, aka Pissmaster?
263
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:34,993
-Orb-yes.
-Orb-yes.
264
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,871
-All those opposed?
-Obviously orb-no.
265
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,081
The orbship has spoken.
266
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,794
You know what Jerry,
I think this is a good test for you.
267
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,339
If you can't let go of your pettiness
enough to recruit Pissmaster,
268
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:53,721
maybe you don't deserve your orb.
And Jerry. Don't come back without him.
269
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:58,600
Absolute chaos! No one knows who
planted the bomb, but one thing is clear.
270
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:04,106
Orphan Island, a city populated entirely
by orphans, now sits on the brink of doom.
271
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,526
The Orphan Island bomb squad
is trying to dismantle it as we speak.
272
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,740
I can't stress enough, I'm 8 years old,
I have no idea what I'm doing!
273
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,825
Look! It's Pissmaster!
274
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:18,412
Oh no, there's no time to dismantle it!
Come on, it's not safe here.
275
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,832
Pisspop? Pisspop? Pisspop?
276
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,836
-Pissmaster.
-Jerry, what are you doing here?
277
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:30,799
Eugene Michael Piss. By decree of the
Andromeda strain, our great council
278
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,135
presents you with this orb,
which you have to take.
279
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,095
Fuck off, Jerry,
I'm in the middle of something.
280
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,432
Excuse me? Hey, this is the
greatest honor you could ever be given.
281
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,267
-I don't want it!
-Well you have to take it.
282
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,144
Jesus Christ, get the fuck out of here!
283
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,608
He's flying it into space!
He's gonna sacrifice himself!
284
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,612
Get back here, you ungrateful shit!
285
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,821
What is your problem?
286
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,199
-You're screwing up my hero death!
-Good!
287
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:58,869
FlamingoDad wants us to blow up?
When did he become a shitheel?
288
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,662
Life comes at you fast.
289
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,791
-Jesus, Dad! People are filming!
-Yeah, maybe dial it back?
290
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,425
-Rick?
-PissSuit!
291
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,344
-Auto-pilot the payload!
-Confirmed.
292
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,983
That's my fucking dad.
293
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,032
-Jerry?
-Dad, are you okay?
294
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,743
Your father is the fucking Pissmaster!
295
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:41,537
Grandpa? What the hell?
296
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,542
Jerry, what is this?
People are saying you turned shitheel?
297
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:50,295
Well apparently my father-in-law
is Pissmaster so why don't you ask him?
298
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:54,842
What the? Rick Sanchez, thePissmaster?
Okay, this is not a good look.
299
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,635
This family, man
300
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,429
Look, I don't know what kinda
weird shit you two are pulling
301
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,682
but it's completely unstickworthy.
We're done here.
302
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:06,812
But I didn't know! I'm a good guy,
I made you all famous!
303
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,188
I'm a thousand years old.
304
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:12,234
You know how many "Flamingo Dads"
I've seen? Don't orb us.
305
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,115
I don't get it.
You were Pissmaster the whole time?
306
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,243
Obviously not, Jerry, I put the
suit on once Pissmaster kill...
307
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,412
When, when you made him...
308
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,624
Yeah. I've always been Pissmaster.
309
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,378
But, that would mean you let my dad
beat you up just so he could, like,
310
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,213
feel more confident?
311
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591
-Damn, Rick.
-Yeah that's amazing.
312
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:40,429
Hold on, everyone's just accepting this?
Wait wasn't Pissmaster an alien?
313
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,180
-He obviously avatar'd it.
-Probably a robot.
314
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,640
But why? Why would Rick even
315
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,392
-prop me up like that?
-Jesus, Jerry.
316
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,937
Rick did something nice for once okay?
He's obviously trying to change.
317
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,067
You are no longer worthy of Mitsubishi.
318
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:59,531
Proud of you, Dad.
Or should I say: Pissmaster.
319
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,825
Yeah Grandpa, sorry I yelled at you.
320
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,286
And I guess I'm sorry for trying to
321
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,914
stop you from killing yourself
with a nuclear bomb, I just...
322
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,374
really
liked having an orb.
323
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,793
Don't sweat it, Jer.
Piss under the bridge.
324
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,880
Man, I guess the therapy worked, huh?
325
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,507
Opening up, doing all that just
to make my dad feel good.
326
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:18,634
That's pretty great of you, Rick.
327
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,136
Yeah that's right, Morty. That's right.
328
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,388
Wait Morty, you have to promise
not to tell anyone
329
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,223
but your dad made Pissmaster kill himself.
330
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,392
-Oh man, what?
-Yeah, I mean, I found him dead
331
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,812
and I put on his suit but look at this,
he literally blames your dad.
332
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,522
Holy shit.
333
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,816
Wait, you kept the suicide note?
334
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,526
-That's so messed up!
-I know, I mean,
335
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,778
I had to tell someone, Morty,
336
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,655
-I couldn't just sit on that.
-And you expect me to?
337
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,864
Morty, no! What are you doing?
338
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:46,203
-What the hell?! He killed himself?
-Jesus, Dad, you should've told us!
339
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,705
-Especially if Jerry murdered him!
-Wait, don't say that,
340
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,582
-I didn't murder!
-Hey, I thought it was pretty cool
341
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,709
-that I withheld that information.
-But you didn't withhold it!
342
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,836
-You're walking around with the note!
-Yeah Grandpa, you gotta like,
343
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,588
keep it in your heart
as a great sacrifice,
344
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,007
-that's the cool move.
-I mean, how am I the bad guy?
345
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,175
He sprayed piss on us!
You all cheered me on!
346
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,135
-You all cheered me on!
-Don't drag us into this.
347
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,845
-A man is dead, Dad.
-Again, wasn't gonna say it,
348
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,180
-but I told you this would happen.
-Get off your high horse.
349
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,890
-Dr. Wong would be so proud.
-Go ahead and boo,
350
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,018
-I was breathing piss, you think I care?
-Is this what it's like to trend?
351
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,814
This is a nightmare, I should've
just let him pee on my daughter!
352
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,232
What the hell, Dad?
353
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:52,185
how about Jack Miller, aka CarJack?
He lifted a car off a stranger.
354
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,021
-Next.
-Orb-no.
355
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:55,981
We're fresh off a dad and a piss guy.
356
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,275
Maybe we add someone
that's already powerful?
357
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,402
We have to be realistic about
who we can get.
358
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,155
-I have a pitch.
-We're not gonna add Scarlett Johansson.
359
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:08,118
Next up: Mr. Nimbus. Lord of the oceans.
360
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,786
I hear he controls the police.
361
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,288
-The police?
-Orb-yes.
362
00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:15,250
Guys, I already checked, his reps say
he's really busy right now.
363
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:17,586
-Everyone says that.
-And we're not busy?
31372
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