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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,410 [The Beach Boys' The Monkey's Uncle] 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,250 * UH-HUH, SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH * 3 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,120 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, WHOA, WHOA * 4 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:21,089 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 5 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,225 * AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S APE FOR ME * 6 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,628 * WELL, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS * 7 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,231 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 8 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,534 * CALL US A COUPLE OF MISSING LINKS * 9 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,204 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 10 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,806 * LOVE ALL HIS MONKEYSHINES * * WHOO OOH OOH 11 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:42,243 * EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE'S 12 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,544 * I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE 13 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,180 * AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S APE FOR ME * 14 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,782 * APE FOR ME 15 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,653 * UH-HUH, SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH * 16 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,523 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, WHOA, WHOA * 17 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,525 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 18 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,860 * AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S APE FOR ME * 19 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:04,232 * WE KISS AND MY HEART JUMPS LIKE A CLOWN * 20 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,767 (Beach Boys) THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 21 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,870 * FEELS LIKE THE CIRCUS JUST CAME TO TOWN * 22 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,773 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 23 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,776 * I'D LIVE IN A JUNGLE GYM * * WHOO OOH OOH 24 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,446 * IN ORDER TO BE WITH HIM * 25 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,114 * I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE 26 00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,750 * AND I WISH I WERE THE MONKEY'S AUNT * 27 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,619 * MONKEY'S AUNT 28 00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:28,789 [guitar solo] 29 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,479 * WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA * 30 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,715 * ON THE DAY HE MARRIES ME * 31 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,785 * WHAT A NUTTY FAMILY TREE 32 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,287 * A BRIDE 33 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,355 * A GROOM, A CHIMPANZEE 34 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:04,625 (Jennifer) HE'S THE BOOBY PRIZE * 35 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,860 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 36 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:10,631 * HE'S THE GUY I IDOLIZE 37 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,167 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE * 38 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,669 * LOVE ALL HIS MONKEYSHINES * * WHOO OOH OOH 39 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,806 * EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE'S 40 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,408 * I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE 41 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,710 * AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S APE FOR ME * 42 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,646 * APE FOR ME 43 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,383 * UH-HUH, SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH * 44 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:32,253 * SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, WHOA, WHOA * 45 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,921 * I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE 46 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,657 * AND I'M MAD ABOUT HIS CHIMPANZEE * 47 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,692 [applause] 48 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,400 YOUR NAME IS MERLIN JONES, 49 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,402 AND YOU'RE A STUDENT AT MIDVALE COLLEGE. 50 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,803 YES, YOUR HONOR. 51 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,939 MR. JONES, YOU REALIZE 52 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,575 THIS IS A MOST UNUSUAL ADOPTION PETITION. 53 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,477 YES, YOUR HONOR, I DO. 54 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,611 IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU DON'T HAVE 55 00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,481 THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE NATURAL PARENTS. 56 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,915 WELL, I-I CAN'T GET THAT, SIR. 57 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,617 ARE THEY ALIVE? 58 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,919 THEY MAY BE. IF THEY ARE, THEY'RE SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA. 59 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,521 AND IN THE SECOND PLACE, 60 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,391 [chuckling] WELL, YOU, THE ADOPTING PARENT, 61 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,492 A-ARE AN UNMARRIED MALE. 62 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,993 THAT'S CORRECT, SIR. 63 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,662 AND IN THE THIRD PLACE, 64 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,365 THERE'S, UH, NO PRECEDENT FOR ADOPTING A CHIMPANZEE. 65 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,066 I KNOW THAT, YOUR HONOR. 66 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:22,770 (Judge Holmsby) TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU SO ANXIOUS TO ADOPT THIS CHIMPANZEE? 67 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,005 TO GIVE HIM THE ADVANTAGES OF A GOOD HOME. 68 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,474 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO ADOPT HIM 69 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,243 TO GIVE HIM A NICE CLEAN CAGE 70 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,744 AND A BUNCH OF BANANAS. 71 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,847 [laughter] YOUR HONOR, I WANT STANLEY TO HAVE MORE THAN THAT. 72 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,683 I WANT HIM TO HAVE A STIMULATING ENVIRONMENT. 73 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,750 I WANT HIM TO HAVE A CHANCE 74 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,852 TO REALIZE HIS FULL INTELLECTUAL POSSIBILITIES. 75 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,554 YES, I REMEMBER. 76 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,290 UH, YOU BELIEVE THAT CHIMPS 77 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,024 CAN BE TRAINED TO THINK LIKE HUMANS. 78 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,158 YES, SIR. 79 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,295 I BELIEVE THAT STANLEY CAN BE TAUGHT TO WORK AND THINK 80 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,696 ON A COLLEGE-STUDENT LEVEL. 81 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,264 WELL, THAT SEEMS REASONABLE. 82 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,532 I KNOW COLLEGE STUDENTS 83 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,567 WHO WORK AND THINK ON A CHIMPANZEE LEVEL. 84 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,568 [laughter] 85 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,869 (Merlin) YES, SIR. 86 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,705 AND IF STANLEY HAD LEGAL STATUS, HE'D BE PROTECTED. 87 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,673 PEOPLE COULDN'T BE COMPLAINING OR PHONING THE POLICE 88 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,509 ABOUT HIM LIVING IN THE HOUSE AND THINGS LIKE THAT. 89 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,278 WILL THE YOUNG LADY WHO TESTIFIED 90 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,314 AS A CHARACTER WITNESS FOR MR. JONES 91 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,981 PLEASE COME FORWARD? 92 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,857 YOU TESTIFIED THAT MERLIN JONES IS OF GOOD CHARACTER 93 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,959 AND IS A SOBER AND INDUSTRIOUS CITIZEN. 94 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:19,993 YES, SIR, HE IS. 95 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,128 DO YOU BELIEVE 96 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,564 THAT HE WILL GIVE STANLEY EVERY CARE AND AFFECTION? 97 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,799 OH, MERLIN IS VERY AFFECTIONATE. 98 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,800 [laughter] OH. 99 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,437 I MEAN, HE'S VERY RESPONSIBLE, 100 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,404 AND I'M SURE HE'LL SEE 101 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,773 THAT STANLEY GETS LOTS OF CARE AND AFFECTION. 102 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,543 THANK YOU. 103 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,545 UH, MR. JONES, UH... 104 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,547 AFTER DUE CONSIDERATION OF THIS MATTER, 105 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,415 I HAVE REACHED MY DECISION. 106 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,685 UH, THE PETITION FOR FORMAL ADOPTION AS PRESENTED 107 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,688 IS HEREWITH DENIED. 108 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,558 HOWEVER, IT IS NOT NOW, NOR EVER, 109 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:51,625 THE INTENTION OF THIS COURT 110 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:55,963 TO STIFLE THE ACADEMIC FREEDOM OF THIS COMMUNITY. 111 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:59,099 MR. JONES, TO PROVIDE YOU WITH THE PROPER STATUS 112 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,702 WITHIN WHICH STANLEY'S MENTAL CAPACITIES 113 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,437 MAY BE BROUGHT TO FULL FLOWER, 114 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:06,874 I AM PERSUADED THAT SOME FORM 115 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,976 OF CONDITIONAL GUARDIANSHIP MAY BE IN ORDER. 116 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,845 SO, HENCEFORTH, YOU WILL BE REGARDED 117 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,080 IN THE EYES OF THIS COURT 118 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:17,084 AND ARE SO APPOINTED AS THE MONKEY'S UNCLE. 119 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,686 OH, THANK YOU, SIR! 120 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,554 BUT HE'S NOT A MONKEY, SIR. HE'S A CHIMP. 121 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,789 OH, YES, YES, OF COURSE, A CHIMP. 122 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,957 [chattering] 123 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,094 [laughter] 124 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,798 UH, ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! 125 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,700 [laughter continues] 126 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,438 OH, UH, BAILIFF, NEXT PETITION, PLEASE. 127 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,606 UH... 128 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,548 OH, STANLEY. YOU'RE CIVILIZED NOW, STANLEY, 129 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,583 WHICH MEANS THAT THERE'S MORE TO LIFE 130 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:52,119 THAN JUST EATING AND SLEEPING AND WATCHING WESTERNS. 131 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,521 [channel changes] 132 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,556 THERE, THAT'S BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY. 133 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,425 IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN COWBOYS AND INDIANS, ISN'T IT? 134 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,428 [Beethoven's Symphony No. 5] 135 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:06,767 * 136 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,839 [yawns] 137 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,950 [uptempo music] 138 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,085 * 139 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,253 NO, STANLEY, 140 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,857 THE IDEA IS TO EXPOSE YOU TO INTELLECTUAL INFLUENCES. 141 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,124 [channel changes] 142 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,960 THAT'S BETTER, ISN'T IT? 143 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,764 [Beethoven's Symphony No. 5] 144 00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,433 YOU TIRED, SON? 145 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,969 OF COURSE YOU ARE. IT'S LATE. 146 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,104 COME ON, STANLEY, IT'S BEDTIME. 147 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,839 * 148 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,441 THERE YOU GO. 149 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,010 IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY FOR YOU, HASN'T IT? 150 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,548 [TV turns off] 151 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,550 NO, STANLEY, YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING. 152 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,623 WE BRUSH OUR TEETH BEFORE WE GO TO BED. 153 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,963 THAT'S A GOOD BOY, STANLEY. 154 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,732 ALL RIGHT, STANLEY. 155 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,601 NOW, YOU SEE, THIS IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH. 156 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,835 THE OTHER ONE'S MINE. 157 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,572 FIRST THING WE DO IS SQUEEZE OUT THE TOOTHPASTE ON THE BRUSH, 158 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,707 LIKE THIS. 159 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,709 AND THEN WE BRUSH OUR TEETH. 160 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,243 NOW, OPEN YOUR MOUTH. 161 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,978 OPEN YOUR MOUTH. 162 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,781 THAT'S GOOD. NOW, WE BRUSH UP AND DOWN. 163 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,584 UP AND DOWN, YOU SEE? 164 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,052 THAT'S A GOOD BOY. 165 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,121 THAT'S VERY GOOD, STANLEY, UP AND DOWN. 166 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,355 [doorbell rings] 167 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,825 THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR. YOU KEEP BRUSHING YOUR TEETH. 168 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,483 [chattering] 169 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,587 JENNIFER. 170 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,855 WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED? 171 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,723 YOU'RE TAKING ME TO A MOVIE, REMEMBER? 172 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:12,593 BUT I-I MADE THAT DATE BEFORE I BECAME STANLEY'S UNCLE. 173 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,162 WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE. 174 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,633 [chattering] 175 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,620 BUT, JENNIFER, YOU HEARD WHAT JUDGE HOLMSBY SAID. 176 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,589 I HAVE TO GIVE STANLEY CARE AND AFFECTION. 177 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,990 THE MOST DEVOTED PARENTS IN THE WORLD 178 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,858 GET BABYSITTERS AND GO OUT OCCASIONALLY. 179 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,595 LEAVE STANLEY WITH A SITTER? I COULDN'T DO THAT. 180 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,597 THERE'S LOTS OF GIRLS AT SCHOOL WHO DO SITTING, 181 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,998 AND THEY'RE VERY COMPETENT. 182 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,132 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO. 183 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,066 I'LL PUT STANLEY TO BED, 184 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,602 AND THEN WE CAN GO OUT IN THE YARD AND TALK. 185 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,269 MERLIN, STOP FUSSING. 186 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,606 YOU TAKE A BEAST FRESH OUT OF THE JUNGLE, AND YOU-- 187 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,140 JEN. WHAT'S THE MATTER? 188 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,610 PLEASE DON'T EVER USE THAT WORD AROUND STANLEY. 189 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,144 WHAT WORD, JUNGLE? 190 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,213 [whispering] SHH! HE MIGHT HEAR YOU. 191 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,148 MERLIN, YOU'RE BEING ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS 192 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,316 ABOUT THAT CHIMP. 193 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,619 RIDICULOUS, AM I? 194 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,622 JUST LET ME SHOW YOU THE PROGRESS HE'S MADE. 195 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,856 [Stanley chattering loudly] OH! 196 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,863 [chattering continues] 197 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,170 PROGRESS? 198 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,145 WELL, NOW, HERE'S A NICE GLASS OF WATER 199 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,312 IN CASE YOU GET THIRSTY. 200 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,614 AND IN CASE YOU GET HUNGRY-- 201 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,882 MERLIN, YOU'RE SPOILING HIM. 202 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,953 JEN, PLEASE, LET'S NOT QUARREL IN FRONT OF HIM. 203 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,623 UNCLE MERLIN IS TREATING STANLEY LIKE A LITTLE BABY, ISN'T HE? 204 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,626 [chattering softly] BUT STANLEY'S REALLY A BIG, GROWN-UP BOY. 205 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,294 PUT THESE ON HIS HEAD. 206 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,631 ONE HERE AND ONE HERE AND ONE HERE. 207 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,299 CURLERS? 208 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,034 STANLEY, ISN'T THIS EXCITING? 209 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,703 TOMORROW MORNING WHEN YOU WAKE UP, 210 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,772 YOU'LL BE THE ONLY CURLY-TOP CHIMP IN THE WORLD. 211 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,139 THAT'S NOT THE IDEA AT ALL. 212 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,775 I'M PREPARING HIM FOR A LITTLE SLEEP LEARNING. 213 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,209 SLEEP LEARNING? 214 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,878 YOU MEAN WHERE THEY PUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO LEARN ON A RECORD, 215 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,279 AND YOU LET IT PLAY ALL NIGHT WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP, 216 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,747 AND THE NEXT MORNING YOU KNOW IT? 217 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,015 UH-UH, THAT'S THE OLD SLEEP LEARNING. 218 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,149 I'VE GOT A NEW IDEA. 219 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,151 YOU SEE, I BYPASS THE EAR ENTIRELY, 220 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,120 AND BY BONE CONDUCTION, I PIPE IT THROUGH THE LEARNING CENTERS 221 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,422 IN THE TEMPORAL LOBES AND THE PRECENTRAL GYRUS 222 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,124 DIRECT INTO HIS UNCONSCIOUS. 223 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,293 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL, STANLEY? 224 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,161 I'VE RECORDED THESE RECORDS FOR HIM TO LEARN. 225 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,430 12 EASY LESSONS IN CIVILIZATION. 226 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,033 HE'LL HAVE A LOT OF STUDYING TO DO. 227 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,903 THIS TIMER WILL START THE RECORD AS SOON AS HE'S ASLEEP. 228 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,773 THEN HE'LL BEGIN TO LEARN THE MANY SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS 229 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,275 THAT ADD UP TO BEING CIVILIZED. 230 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,212 THINGS YOU AND I DO WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF THEM. 231 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,016 GOOD NIGHT, STANLEY. 232 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,017 GOOD NIGHT. 233 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,018 AND GOOD LUCK. 234 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,820 [chattering] 235 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:17,444 [Merlin on record player] WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS, TURN IT OFF, 236 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,913 GET OUT OF BED, 237 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,315 TURN ON THE COFFEE, 238 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,317 PUT OUT THE CAT, 239 00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:28,421 TAKE A SHOWER AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH. 240 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,158 NOW WAKE ME UP. 241 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,292 [ticking] 242 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,794 [alarm ringing] 243 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,331 (Merlin) WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS, TURN IT OFF. 244 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,974 GET OUT OF BED. 245 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,509 TURN ON THE COFFEE. 246 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,211 [chattering] 247 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,316 (Merlin's voice) PUT OUT THE CAT. 248 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,954 [meows] 249 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:06,293 (Merlin) TAKE A SHOWER AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH. 250 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,529 [screaming] 251 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,766 [chattering] 252 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,206 [water running] 253 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,777 [door opens] 254 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,146 [chattering] 255 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,917 (Merlin) NOW WAKE ME UP. 256 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,953 [chattering] 257 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,890 [chattering loudly] 258 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,059 (Merlin) WAKE ME UP. 259 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,028 WAKE ME UP. 260 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,064 [chattering] 261 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,971 (Merlin) WAKE ME UP. 262 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,341 [chattering loudly] [spits] 263 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,179 YOU DID IT, STANLEY. YOU DID IT. 264 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,114 YOU CARRIED OUT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. 265 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,216 GOOD BOY! [laughs] 266 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,318 YOU'LL BE THE SMARTEST CHIMP IN MIDVALE, HUH? 267 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,021 AREN'T YOU, STANLEY? SMARTEST CHIMP IN MIDVALE. 268 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:09,957 [laughing] 269 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,331 SORRY, I'M LATE, GENTLEMEN. 270 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,467 THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, JUDGE. 271 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,203 MR. DEARBORNE HAS BEEN TELLING US ONCE AGAIN 272 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,939 ABOUT OUR TROUBLESOME PROBLEM-- 273 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,976 STUDENTS CHEATING ON EXAMINATIONS. 274 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,243 PARTICULARLY FOOTBALL PLAYERS. 275 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,246 ALL RIGHT, DEARBORNE, WE KNOW YOU DON'T APPROVE OF FOOTBALL. 276 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,949 I HAVE, THEREFORE, ASKED PROFESSOR SHATTUCK 277 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:39,319 TO GIVE US A REPORT ON THE SUBJECT. 278 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,420 PROFESSOR SHATTUCK 279 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,056 SPECIALIZES IN CHEATING ON EXAMINATIONS. 280 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,457 [clearing throat, grumbling] 281 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:48,929 I MEAN, PROFESSOR SHATTUCK IS AN EXPERT 282 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,965 ON THE SUBJECT OF CHEATING ON EXAMS. 283 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,467 [chuckles] PROFESSOR. 284 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,937 I, UH, WOULD LIKE TO ASSURE MR. DEARBORNE 285 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,205 THAT EVERY TIME A STUDENT 286 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,940 DEVELOPS A NEW METHOD OF CHEATING, 287 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,075 A NEW TECHNIQUE OF CRIBBING, 288 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,413 OUR SECURITY CORPS WILL DEVELOP A NEW DEFENSE AGAINST IT. 289 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,647 WE'VE COME A LONG WAY 290 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,383 SINCE HUGO DRIBBLE WAS EXPELLED FROM MIDVALE, MR. DEARBORNE. 291 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,318 REMEMBER HUGO? 292 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,586 HE WAS IN OUR CLASS-- A GREAT HALFBACK. 293 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:17,290 HE WAS GREAT AT STEALING THE SIGNALS OF THE OTHER TEAM. 294 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,060 DRIBBLE USED THE CLASSIC AND SOMEWHAT OUTDATED METHOD 295 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,063 OF WRITING THE INFORMATION HE NEEDED ON HIS CUFFS. 296 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,332 HE WAS CAUGHT IN THE ACT BY AN INSTRUCTOR 297 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,134 WHO SNEAKED UP ON HIM WEARING TENNIS SHOES. 298 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:30,470 WAS HUGO REELECTED TO THE SENATE AGAIN THIS YEAR? 299 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,340 YOU KNOW, DEARBORNE, HE'S PRESIDENTIAL TIMBER. 300 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,175 ELMER TEPPET'S CONTRIBUTION 301 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,611 WAS A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH IN THE FIELD OF CRIBBING. 302 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:42,349 NOW, HERE WE HAVE... 303 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,219 A PEN AND INK MADE OF VEGETABLE COLORING 304 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,356 AND ORDINARY CHEWING GUM. 305 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,959 TEPPET WROTE THE INFORMATION HE NEEDED 306 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,360 ON THE STICK OF GUM 307 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:57,030 AND PLACED IT ON HIS DESK DURING THE EXAMS. 308 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,066 WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR BECAME SUSPICIOUS 309 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,934 AND APPROACHED TO INVESTIGATE, 310 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,937 TEPPET MERELY DESTROYED THE EVIDENCE. 311 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,472 A RESOURCEFUL FELLOW. 312 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:09,042 THEY DON'T MAKE QUARTERBACKS LIKE HIM ANYMORE. 313 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,611 IT TOOK THREE YEARS TO CATCH UP WITH ELMER TEPPET, 314 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,081 BUT WE FINALLY DID IT. 315 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,582 HE WAS EXPELLED-- 316 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,184 JUST BEFORE THE BIG GAME WITH RANDALL. 317 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,319 YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD MEMORY, JUDGE. 318 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,454 WE CERTAINLY MISSED HIM. LOST 42-0 THAT YEAR. 319 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,357 IN CONCLUSION, GENTLEMEN, 320 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,592 LET ME ASSURE YOU 321 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,495 THAT AS NEW SUPER CRIBS ARE DEVELOPED, 322 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:32,232 WE WILL CREATE SUPER TECHNIQUES FOR DETECTING THEM. 323 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,466 THANK YOU. 324 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,334 I PROPOSE 325 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,469 WE ABOLISH FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE COLLEGE. 326 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,737 OH, NO, NOT THAT AGAIN. 327 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,771 EVERY TIME WE HAVE A PROBLEM, 328 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,740 YOUR SOLUTION IS TO ABOLISH THE FOOTBALL TEAM. 329 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,475 FOOTBALL IS THE ROOT OF ALL COLLEGE EVIL. 330 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,111 OH, YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T MAKE THE TEAM 331 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,278 WHEN YOU AND I WERE STUDENTS HERE. 332 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,747 AND YOU ONLY DEFEND FOOTBALL BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE TEAM. 333 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,582 FOOTBALL IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF COLLEGE LIFE. 334 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,583 NOT ONLY FOR THE PLAYERS, 335 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,986 BUT FOR THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY. 336 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,089 JUDGE HOLMSBY, ARE YOU IN FAVOR OF CHEATING ON COLLEGE EXAMS? 337 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,224 NO, OF COURSE NOT, 338 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,226 BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME FOOTBALL FOR THAT. 339 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,362 GETTING GRADES IS ONLY PART OF ACQUIRING AN EDUCATION, 340 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,097 UNLESS YOUR IDEA OF AN EDUCATION 341 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,099 IS TO TURN OUT MEMORY MACHINES. 342 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,101 I PREFER THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO CAN THINK. 343 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,503 I MADE A MOTION TO ABOLISH FOOTBALL ON THIS CAMPUS. 344 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,739 AND I OPPOSE IT STRENUOUSLY. 345 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,374 [all shouting over each other] GENTLEMEN! 346 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,109 GENTLEMEN! 347 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:19,579 LET US NOT LOSE OUR TEMPERS. 348 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,584 I REALLY DO NOT THINK, AT THIS STAGE, 349 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,220 IT IS NECESSARY TO DO ANYTHING 350 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,756 AS DRASTIC AS ABOLISHING FOOTBALL. 351 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:33,626 HOWEVER, I PROMISE YOU, MR. DEARBORNE, 352 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,095 THAT PROFESSOR SHATTUCK 353 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,764 AND HIS SECURITY CORPS 354 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,500 WILL BE PARTICULARLY VIGILANT 355 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,236 DURING THE COMING EXAMINATION, 356 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,373 AND ESPECIALLY WATCH FOR THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS. 357 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,646 [doorbell rings] 358 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,249 GOOD EVENING, JUDGE. OH, HAYWOOD, I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME. 359 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,150 WELL, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? 360 00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,651 A CRISIS, HAYWOOD, AN ABSOLUTE CRISIS. 361 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,353 OH, JUDGE, THIS IS NORMAN AND LEON. 362 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,222 UH, JUDGE IS ONE OF OUR GREATEST MU MU ALUMNI 363 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,756 AND A VERY AVID FOOTBALL FAN. 364 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,425 YES, I'VE SEEN YOU FELLAS PLAY, OF COURSE. 365 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,228 I ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU PLAY FOR THE LAST TIME. 366 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,363 THE REGENTS HAVEN'T ABOLISHED FOOTBALL, HAVE THEY? 367 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,132 NO, THEY DIDN'T GO QUITE THAT FAR. 368 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,101 UH, MR. DEARBORNE TRIED, BUT HE FAILED AGAIN. 369 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,236 EVERY YEAR HE TRIES TO PENALIZE MIDVALE 370 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,504 FOR NOT LETTING HIM ON THE TEAM 371 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,606 WHEN HE AND I WERE UNDERGRADUATES HERE. 372 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,142 GEE, I DIDN'T KNOW MIDVALE WAS THAT OLD A COLLEGE. 373 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,143 [clears throat] 374 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,744 I PLAYED FOOTBALL FOR MIDVALE. 375 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,779 I DIDN'T KNOW FOOTBALL WAS THAT OLD A GAME. 376 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,382 JUDGE, THE BOYS ARE A LITTLE CONFUSSED. 377 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,118 ACTUALLY, THE MU MUS STILL TALK ABOUT THE DAYS 378 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,352 WHEN YOU PLAYED FOOTBALL FOR MIDVALE. 379 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,387 THEY DO? 380 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,424 THE JUDGE'S NAME IS HOLMSBY. 381 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,094 [chuckles] THEY CALLED ME "HURRY UP" HOLMSBY. 382 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,429 YES, SIR, EVERY TIME TALK 383 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,630 TURNS TO FOOTBALL, 384 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,498 THERE ARE FEW GREAT NAMES THAT COME UP AGAIN AND AGAIN-- 385 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:46,499 KNUTE ROCKNE, 386 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,235 JIM THORPE, 387 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,370 RED GRANGE, "HURRY UP" HOLMSBY. 388 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738 (Judge Holmsby) WELL, THAT'S FINE. 389 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,306 THAT'S FINE, HAYWOOD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 390 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,375 BUT I THINK WE'D BETTER GET DOWN TO OUR PROBLEM. 391 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,511 THE BOARD HAS DECIDED TO CRACK DOWN ON EXAM CHEATING 392 00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,646 AND TO KEEP A SPECIAL EYE 393 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,681 ON FOOTBALL PLAYERS DURING THE EXAMS. 394 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,883 WELL, THAT MEANS THEY ARE ABOLISHING FOOTBALL. 395 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,352 [chuckles] NO, IT JUST MEANS 396 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,187 THAT THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS WILL HAVE TO PASS 397 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,589 THEIR EXAMS HONESTLY TO STAY ELIGIBLE. 398 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,359 THEY'RE ABOLISHING FOOTBALL, JUDGE. 399 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,661 DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THERE ARE NO FOOTBALL PLAYERS 400 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,696 WHO CAN PASS THEIR EXAMS HONESTLY? 401 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,132 NO, NO, JUDGE, MOST OF THEM HAVE NO TROUBLE AT ALL. 402 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,901 BUT WHAT MAKES THE MIDVALE TEAM? 403 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,203 THIS COMBO. 404 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,205 AND WITHOUT THEM, THE TEAM'S WASHED UP. 405 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,406 WELL, THEY'LL JUST HAVE TO STUDY HARDER. 406 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,540 [laughs] 407 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,210 THAT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE, JUDGE. 408 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,245 UH... 409 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,248 YEAH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. 410 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,385 WELL, THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO CHEAT HONESTLY. 411 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,487 AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT-- IS THERE SUCH A THING? 412 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,256 I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE MUST FIND OUT. 413 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,659 WE HAVE A VERY INGENIOUS YOUNG MAN HERE AT MIDVALE. 414 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,395 AND IF APPROACHED PROPERLY, 415 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,630 HE MAY PUT HIS INGENUITY TO WORK FOR US. 416 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,932 JUDGE, THAT'S GREAT. WHO IS HE? MERLIN JONES. 417 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,802 MERLIN JONES! 418 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,438 MERLIN JONES. 419 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,276 I HAVE TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING IN MY PURSE. 420 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,313 [laughter] 421 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,649 I CAN'T STAND HIM. 422 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,651 WHO? DON HAYWOOD. 423 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,885 HE'S SUCH A TERRIBLE SNOB. 424 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,654 UNLESS YOU'RE A MEMBER OF MU MU FRATERNITY 425 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,656 OR SOMETHING ELSE HE CONSIDERS SOCIALLY IMPORTANT, 426 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,258 HE IGNORES YOU. 427 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,926 HAS HE EVER SAID HELLO TO YOU? 428 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,228 [chuckles] NEVER. 429 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,929 HELLO, JENNIFER, HOW ARE YOU? 430 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:23,930 HI. 431 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,266 MERLIN, OLD MAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 432 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,535 WE'RE HAVING A DANCE AT THE MU MU HOUSE SATURDAY NIGHT. 433 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,437 WE'D LIKE YOU TO BE THERE. 434 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,273 ISN'T HE NICE?! 435 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,140 THAT SNOB? 436 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,675 WELL, A PERSON CAN BE DISCRIMINATING 437 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,809 WITHOUT BEING A SNOB. 438 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,280 AND I HEAR THOSE MU MU DANCES ARE REALLY MARVELOUS. 439 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,682 WELL, MAYBE SO, BUT I DON'T INTEND TO FIND OUT. 440 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,417 MERLIN, YOU MUST GO. 441 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,486 WHY MUST I? IT'D BE RUDE IF YOU DIDN'T. 442 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,522 I CAN'T LEAVE STANLEY HOME ALONE AT NIGHT 443 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,790 TO GO TO A MU MU DANCE. 444 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,660 STANLEY--IS THAT WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO GO? 445 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,262 WELL, AFTER ALL, HE'S ONLY A-- 446 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,264 THERE'S A SITTER-SERVICE NUMBER ON THE BULLETIN BOARD. 447 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,432 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL, AND THEY SEND 448 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,533 A VERY CAPABLE SITTER. 449 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,935 I'M SORRY, JEN, BUT I CAN'T FACE THE IDEA OF GOING OFF 450 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,804 AND LEAVING STANLEY ALONE WITH A SITTER. 451 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:05,905 NOW, TRY AND UNDERSTAND. 452 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,674 OH, I DO. 453 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,243 I REALIZE STANLEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM. 454 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,678 OH, JE-- WAIT, JEN, DON'T SAY THAT. 455 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,945 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 456 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,046 I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF GOING 457 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,683 TO ONE OF THOSE GLAMOROUS, MARVELOUS MU MU DANCES, 458 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,885 BUT LOTS OF DREAMS DON'T COME TRUE. 459 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,820 A-ALL RIGHT, MAYBE WE CAN GO, 460 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,690 B-BUT WE WON'T STAY TOO LATE. 461 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,559 OH, MERLIN, I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO GO. 462 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,395 AND I'VE GOT A NEW DRESS, AND I KNOW YOU'LL LOVE IT. 463 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,863 WELL, O-OKAY, BUT--BUT WE WON'T STAY-- 464 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,399 AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF ORDERING THE SITTER FOR YOU. 465 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,800 WELL, JUST TELL HER IT'S JUST GONNA BE FOR LIKE-- 466 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,801 MERLIN. 467 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,403 HUH? 468 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,306 I FORGOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR. 469 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,808 STANLEY, I'M PROUD OF YOU. 470 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,576 YOU'VE MADE TREMENDOUS PROGRESS 471 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,545 IN A VERY SHORT TIME. 472 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,648 BUT THE MAIN THING IS YOUR CONCENTRATED STUDYING. 473 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,918 VERY GOOD, STANLEY. VERY GOOD, INDEED. 474 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:52,885 YOU KNOW, STANLEY-- 475 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,956 STANLEY, YOUR EYES LOOK A LITTLE BLOODSHOT. 476 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,825 MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING TOO HARD. 477 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,428 [doorbell rings] 478 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,965 HI, MERLIN. DO YOU, UH, NOTICE ANYTHING? 479 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,734 YEAH, STANLEY'S EYES ARE A LITTLE BLOODSHOT. 480 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,836 NOT STANLEY, ME. 481 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,904 YOUR EYES DON'T LOOK BLOODSHOT AT ALL. 482 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,039 MERLIN, YOU'RE HOPELESS. 483 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,842 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU TO NOTICE MY NEW DRESS. 484 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,077 OH, OH, WELL, UH... 485 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,946 IT LOOKS VERY COMFORTABLE. 486 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:23,750 OH, FORGET IT. LET'S JUST GOT TO THE DANCE. 487 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,818 THE SITTER ISN'T HERE YET. 488 00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:28,421 I'M GETTING PRETTY NERVOUS ABOUT TRUSTING HER WITH STANLEY. 489 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,457 SHE'S OBVIOUSLY UNRELIABLE, 490 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,658 OR SHE WOULD'VE BEEN HERE ALREADY. 491 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,426 SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL 8:30. 492 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,962 WELL, IT'S EXACTLY 8:30 AND TEN SECONDS, 493 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,430 AND IF SHE WERE RELIABLE-- 494 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,533 [doorbell rings] 495 00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:48,040 HELLO, I'M LISA. 496 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,676 [breathlessly] HI. 497 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,811 HI. 498 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,846 HI. 499 00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:57,384 THIS IS MERLIN JONES, 500 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:58,418 AND I'M JENNIFER. 501 00:21:58,451 --> 00:21:59,686 HELLO, JENNIFER. 502 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,388 I'M SORRY I'M A LITTLE LATE. 503 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,823 OH, YOU'RE NOT LATE. YOU'RE JUST IN TIME. 504 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,459 IN FACT, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. 505 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,428 (Jennifer) I WONDER IF IT'S FAIR 506 00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,096 FOR LISA TO HAVE TO SIT WITH STANLEY. 507 00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:13,099 AFTER ALL, SHE IS A BABYSITTER. STANLEY'S A CHIMP. 508 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:14,901 IT WAS YOUR IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE. 509 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:18,104 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I LOVE ANIMALS. 510 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:21,240 [laughs] 511 00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,643 I'M SURE STANLEY WILL LOVE YOU, TOO. 512 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,979 OH, HE'S ADORABLE. AREN'T YOU, STANLEY? 513 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,849 WELL, STANLEY, WHAT SHALL WE DO? 514 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,751 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SING YOU TO SLEEP? 515 00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:32,819 WHO WOULDN'T? 516 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,821 WHEN YOU'RE READY FOR NIGHTY-NIGHT, 517 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,889 I'LL SING TO YOU UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP. 518 00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,961 [chuckles] SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 519 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,697 I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE DANCE RIGHT NOW. 520 00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:46,098 I'VE TYPED OUT A FEW INSTRUCTIONS 521 00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:47,700 ABOUT STANLEY'S FOOD AND EVERYTHING. 522 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:48,835 THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN. 523 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,437 I'M SURE LISA CAN FIND THEM. 524 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:51,270 GOOD NIGHT, LISA. 525 00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:52,705 GOOD NIGHT, STANLEY. GOOD NIGHT, LISA. 526 00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,806 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 527 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,074 [door closes] 528 00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:58,445 WELL, NOW, STANLEY, WHAT BEDTIME STORY WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR? 529 00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,679 [door opens] 530 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,913 IF HIS EYES LOOK A LITTLE BLOODSHOT, 531 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:02,682 IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE'S BEEN STUDYING-- 532 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,984 [laughs] 533 00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,819 [door opens] 534 00:23:06,853 --> 00:23:08,154 YOU CAN REACH ME AT THE MU MU HOUSE, 535 00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:09,589 AND DON'T HESITATE TO CALL-- 536 00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,829 [uptempo surf music] 537 00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:24,871 * 538 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:31,110 MERLIN, THIS DANCE IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. 539 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,979 THE MU MUS REALLY DO THINGS RIGHT. 540 00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,714 THEY SURE SPEND MONEY, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. 541 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,983 OH, IT'S MORE THAN THAT. THEY KNOW HOW TO SPEND IT. 542 00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:40,453 AND THEY TREAT US LIKE ROYALTY. 543 00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:41,988 I WONDER WHAT THEIR MOTIVE IS. 544 00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,856 MERLIN, THAT'S UNFAIR. 545 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:45,692 MAYBE. 546 00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,594 GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE, JENNIFER. THANK YOU. 547 00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,728 SANDWICH? NO, THANKS. 548 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:49,796 YOU TOO, MERLIN. 549 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,998 YOU KNOW, YOU FIT HERE, LIKE THE PAPER ON THE WALL. 550 00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:53,466 SANDWICH? THANKS. 551 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,768 GEE, I LIKE YOUR DRESS. WELL, THANK YOU. 552 00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:58,705 YOU KNOW, JONES, WE REALLY DO ADMIRE YOUR TASTE IN WOMEN. 553 00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:00,106 HAVE ANOTHER SANDWICH. 554 00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:02,108 THANK YOU. THEY SURE ARE GOOD. 555 00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:03,242 [chuckles] 556 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,578 TELL ME, DID, UH, ANYONE EVER TELL YOU 557 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:07,714 THAT YOU WERE, UH, MU MU MATERIAL? 558 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,582 NO ONE. [clicks tongue] 559 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,651 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT'S SO OBVIOUS. 560 00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:12,985 WE ALL FEEL THE SAME WAY. 561 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,987 THAT'S WHY WE'VE INVITED YOU HERE. 562 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:18,257 THE MU MUS ARE EXCEEDINGLY INTERESTED IN MERLIN JONES. 563 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,126 MERLIN, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 564 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:21,193 LET'S GO IN THE TROPHY ROOM. 565 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:23,596 IT'S MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE THERE, AND WE CAN TALK. 566 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,131 EXCUSE US? OF COURSE. 567 00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,133 MAYBE WHILE THEY'RE IN THERE TALKING BUSINESS, 568 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,868 I COULD TALK YOU INTO A DANCE. 569 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,870 I'D LOVE TO. GOOD. 570 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:33,873 [slow jazz music] 571 00:24:33,906 --> 00:24:35,742 SIT DOWN, MERLIN. SIT DOWN. 572 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,577 WELL, THANK YOU. 573 00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,245 NOW, THE REASON THAT WE'RE INTERESTED IN YOU, MERLIN, 574 00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:41,714 IS BECAUSE WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD THE CREAM OF THE CAMPUS-- 575 00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:43,650 THE BEST ATHLETES, THE BEST DANCERS, 576 00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:46,586 THE MOST SKILLED POLITICIANS, THE MOST POPULAR MEN IN COLLEGE. 577 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:48,254 [chuckles] WELL, WHERE DO I FIT IN? 578 00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,256 WE'D LIKE TO HAVE THE BEST IN EVERYTHING, 579 00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:51,591 INCLUDING SCHOLARSHIP. 580 00:24:51,624 --> 00:24:53,125 WE'VE ALWAYS HAD EIGHT OR TEN ATHLETES, 581 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,260 HALF A DOZEN POLITICIANS, 582 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:55,728 THREE OR FOUR OF EACH OF THE OTHERS, 583 00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:57,597 AND ONE STUDENT. ONLY ONE? 584 00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:58,731 (Norman) WE FIGURED 585 00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:01,200 ONE BRAIN IN THE CHAPTER WAS ENOUGH. 586 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,234 [cough] 587 00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:04,136 WELL, IN A WAY, IT MAKES IT EVEN MORE OF AN HONOR 588 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,105 THAT WE'VE ASKED YOU TO BE THE ONE BRAIN OF THE MU MUS. 589 00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:08,140 YES, I GUESS IT IS AN HONOR. 590 00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,842 OF COURSE, THERE'S A LITTLE RESPONSIBILITY 591 00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:10,843 THAT GOES ALONG WITH IT. 592 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,279 WE'LL EXPECT YOU TO HELP OUR KEY FOOTBALL PLAYERS 593 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:16,048 PASS THEIR EXAMS, SO THEY'LL STAY ELIGIBLE FOR THE TEAM. 594 00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:18,250 SURE, I'LL BE HAPPY TO HELP THEM STUDY ANYTIME THEY WISH. 595 00:25:18,284 --> 00:25:19,586 I, UH... 596 00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,588 I DON'T THINK YOU DIG WHAT I'M SAYING. 597 00:25:21,621 --> 00:25:22,989 IT'S NORMAN AND LEON-- 598 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,124 THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY THE STUDIOUS TYPES. 599 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,863 WHA--WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? 600 00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:32,331 IT WAS JUDGE HOLMSBY'S IDEA. 601 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:35,735 HE TOLD US THAT YOU WERE SORT OF, UH, INGENIOUS 602 00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:37,003 AND THAT YOU COULD, UH... 603 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:40,039 WELL, UH, FIX THINGS UP FOR THEM. 604 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:43,009 IF YOU MEAN CRIBBING, NOW, THAT'S OUT, 605 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:46,713 BECAUSE CHEATING ON EXAMS IS JUST AS DISHONEST AS STEALING. 606 00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:48,280 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MERLIN. 607 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:50,016 THE JUDGE SAID THAT YOU WERE SO INGENIOUS 608 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,885 THAT YOU COULD FIGURE OUT AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT. 609 00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:54,621 AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT? 610 00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,688 SURE. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. 611 00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:57,890 NO ONE WOULD PUT YOU AND NORMAN IN THE RING TOGETHER 612 00:25:57,924 --> 00:26:00,092 TO SLUG IT OUT BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR. 613 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:03,730 WE COULD TRY IT. [laughs] 614 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:04,731 BUT THEY PUT YOU IN THE SAME CLASSROOM. 615 00:26:04,764 --> 00:26:05,732 THEY GIVE YOU THE SAME EXAMS. 616 00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:06,733 IS THAT FAIR? 617 00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:08,635 NO, IT ISN'T. 618 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:09,869 IN THE RING, NORMAN'S A HEAVYWEIGHT, 619 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,003 AND YOU'RE A MIDDLEWEIGHT. 620 00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:12,605 IN THE CLASSROOM, YOU'RE A HEAVYWEIGHT, 621 00:26:12,639 --> 00:26:14,173 AND NORMAN'S A FLYWEIGHT. 622 00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:17,744 WHAT WE'RE ASKING YOU TO DO IS FIGHT INJUSTICE. 623 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,145 LOOK, I'M WILLING TO HELP ANYONE 624 00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:20,880 WHO WANTS TO STUDY FOR HIS EXAMS. 625 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,016 BUT IF HE CAN'T STUDY OR IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO STUDY, 626 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,719 THEN WHAT'S HE DOING IN COLLEGE, ANYWAY? 627 00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,021 [music continues] 628 00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:32,191 HE DOESN'T HAVE A MU MU BONE IN HIS BODY. 629 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,161 THEY WERE SO NICE TO YOU. 630 00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:37,029 IT WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU TO HELP THEM. 631 00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:38,631 WELL, I DID OFFER TO HELP THEM STUDY, 632 00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,032 BUT THEY WANTED ME TO CHEAT FOR THEM. 633 00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,734 AND THAT'S AGAINST YOUR PRINCIPLES, OF COURSE, 634 00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:43,736 SO NOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A MU MU. 635 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,105 WELL, DOES IT MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU? YES, IT DOES. 636 00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:48,407 I MEAN, A GIRL LIKES TO GO TO A DANCE ONCE IN A WHILE, 637 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,409 INSTEAD OF SPENDING EVERY NIGHT OF HER LIFE 638 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,745 WATCHING SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS. 639 00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:54,413 AND, ANYWAY, YOU SAID THEY WANTED YOU TO INVENT 640 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,381 AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT. 641 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:58,317 HOW COULD I EVER INVENT A THING LIKE THAT? 642 00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,022 MERLIN. 643 00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,423 HMM? 644 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,759 I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING 645 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:09,428 IF YOU REALLY PUT YOUR MIND TO IT. 646 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,297 YOU REALLY THINK I CAN? 647 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:13,332 I KNOW YOU CAN. 648 00:27:20,206 --> 00:27:22,441 (Merlin) BUT, JUDGE, IT WILL WORK. I'M CERTAIN OF IT. 649 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:23,876 AND IT'S HONEST CHEATING, 650 00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:25,411 BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU LEARN, 651 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,146 SO LONG AS YOU DO LEARN. 652 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,681 SLEEP LEARNING? 653 00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,017 IT'S AN APPLICATION OF A SOUND SCIENTIFIC CONCEPT. 654 00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:32,418 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER. 655 00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,053 IT WORKED WONDERS WITH STANLEY. 656 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:36,422 YEAH, BUT STANLEY'S AN INTELLIGENT CHIMP. 657 00:27:36,455 --> 00:27:39,792 THE QUESTION IS, WILL IT WORK WITH, UH... 658 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,160 THESE TWO. 659 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,094 (Merlin) IN WORLD WAR II, 660 00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,896 THEY USED IT TO TEACH FOREIGN LANGUAGES 661 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,164 TO MEN WHO HAD TO LEARN THEM IN A HURRY. 662 00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:47,433 BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. 663 00:27:47,466 --> 00:27:48,901 WE HAVE TO LEARN ENGLISH. 664 00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:51,303 BUT ENGLISH IS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. 665 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,005 WELL, ENGLAND'S A FOREIGN COUNTRY, ISN'T IT? 666 00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:56,042 [sighs] YOU HAVE TO LEARN ENGLISH LITERATURE. 667 00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:57,176 (Judge Holmsby) I'M ALL 668 00:27:57,209 --> 00:27:58,778 FOR GOING AHEAD WITH MERLIN'S IDEA. 669 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:01,180 IN THE FIRST PLACE, WE HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE. 670 00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,183 AND IN THE SECOND PLACE... 671 00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:06,685 WELL, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO. 672 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,289 I HAD JENNIFER RECORD ALL THE INFORMATION YOU'LL NEED 673 00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:11,891 FOR TOMORROW'S ENGLISH-LIT CLASS. 674 00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:12,825 I... [chuckles] 675 00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:14,426 I WAS SURE YOU'D PREFER HER VOICE TO MINE. 676 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,295 WELL, YOU'RE DARN RIGHT WE WOULD. 677 00:28:16,328 --> 00:28:19,031 HEY, MERLIN, WHAT DO WE DO WHILE THIS IS ALL GOING ON? 678 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:21,300 YOU JUST SLEEP. HEY, NO KIDDING. [chuckles] 679 00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:24,436 IF THERE'S ONE THING I'M GOOD AT, IT'S SLEEPING. 680 00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:25,838 WELL, EVERYTHING'S SET. 681 00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:26,906 GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS. GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN. 682 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:27,907 GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN. GOOD NIGHT. 683 00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:29,175 HEY, MERLIN? YES, NORM? 684 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:30,743 YOU SURE YOU EXPLAINED TO ALL THE GUYS 685 00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:32,211 ABOUT THESE THINGS ON OUR HEADS? 686 00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:34,480 OH, I'M SURE. THEY ALL KNOW IT'S PART OF THE FOOTBALL EFFORT. 687 00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:36,315 GOOD. I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE 688 00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,250 FROM THE WISE GUYS AROUND HERE. 689 00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:40,052 OH, SURE, SURE. GOOD NIGHT. 690 00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,420 (Leon) HEY, MERLIN? 691 00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:42,354 YES, LEON? 692 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:44,924 YOU THINK WE MIGHT END UP WITH WAVY HAIR? 693 00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:46,425 GEE, I DON'T KNOW. 694 00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:48,094 GO TO SLEEP, WILL YOU? GOOD NIGHT. 695 00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:49,095 (Leon) GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN. 696 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,362 HEY, MERLIN? 697 00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:52,531 YES, NORM? 698 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,201 I WANT A DRINK OF WATER. 699 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,804 NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE! GOOD NIGHT! 700 00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:18,057 [Jennifer on record] THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD 701 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,492 TAKES ITS NAME FROM ELIZABETH I, 702 00:29:20,526 --> 00:29:25,798 WHO WAS QUEEN OF ENGLAND FROM 1558 TO 1603. 703 00:29:25,832 --> 00:29:27,466 THE OUTSTANDING LITERARY... 704 00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:30,302 FURTHERMORE, GEOFFREY CHAUCER WAS THE FIRST ENGLISH POET 705 00:29:30,336 --> 00:29:32,271 TO USE THE IAMBIC PENTAMETER. 706 00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:36,042 AND LATER ON, HE DEVELOPED MANY COMPLICATED STANZA FORMS, 707 00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:38,444 THE MOST FAMOUS OF WHICH WAS THE SEVEN-LINE STANZA, 708 00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:39,812 OR THE RHYME ROYAL. 709 00:29:39,846 --> 00:29:44,250 THANK YOU, MERLIN. THAT'S QUITE CORRECT. 710 00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:46,285 NORMAN. 711 00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,586 YES, SIR. 712 00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,021 TELL ME WHAT WE MEAN 713 00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,157 WHEN WE SPEAK OF THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD. 714 00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:53,325 THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD, SIR. 715 00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:54,593 THAT'S RIGHT. 716 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,162 UH, WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF ITS NAME 717 00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:58,865 AND WHAT PERIOD IT COVERS. 718 00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,299 AND TELL US WHO SOME 719 00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,902 OF THE OUTSTANDING LITERARY FIGURES OF THAT ERA WERE. 720 00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:05,604 [Jennifer's voice] THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD 721 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,040 TAKES ITS NAME FROM ELIZABETH I, 722 00:30:08,074 --> 00:30:09,608 WHO WAS QUEEN OF ENGLAND 723 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:11,210 FROM 1558 724 00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:13,412 TO 1603. 725 00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,581 THE OUTSTANDING LITERARY FIGURE 726 00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:18,584 [laughter] OF THAT TIME WAS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, 727 00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:19,919 WHOSE PLAYS AND SONNETS 728 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:24,156 ARE AMONG THE GREATEST GLORIES OF ENGLISH LITERATURE. 729 00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:25,457 [laughter continues] OTHER WRITERS 730 00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:28,160 WHOSE SOARING IMAGINATION AND VERBAL FELICITY 731 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,562 ENRICHED THIS PERIOD 732 00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:33,432 ARE BEN JONSON, CHRISTOPER MARLOWE, 733 00:30:33,465 --> 00:30:36,068 [laughter intensifies] EDMUND SPENCER, FRANCIS BACON, 734 00:30:36,102 --> 00:30:39,305 SIR PHILIP SYDNEY, BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER, 735 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,372 AND A HOST 736 00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,108 OF DISTINGUISHED POETS, PLAYWRIGHTS-- 737 00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:44,343 THAT'S ENOUGH! 738 00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:54,921 BUT, JUDGE, I WASN'T TRYING TO BE FUNNY OR ANYTHING. 739 00:30:54,954 --> 00:30:56,188 IT JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY. 740 00:30:56,222 --> 00:30:57,189 MOST UNFORTUNATE. 741 00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:58,390 NOW THE PROFESSOR'S SO MAD, 742 00:30:58,424 --> 00:31:00,459 THEY'LL HAVE TO GET 90 OR BETTER ON THE EXAM JUST TO PASS. 743 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:01,493 90? 744 00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:04,130 BUT THE THING IS, THEY KNEW THE RIGHT ANSWERS. 745 00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:05,164 (Judge Holmsby) DID YOU? 746 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:08,534 EVERY WORD. IT JUST CAME OUT IN THE WRONG VOICE. 747 00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,937 AND ON THE WRITTEN EXAM, THERE WON'T BE THAT PROBLEM. 748 00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:12,571 BUT 90%. 749 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:31,457 BEGIN. 750 00:32:40,392 --> 00:32:43,395 [beeping] 751 00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:03,082 OH, MAN, WHAT AN EXPERIENCE! 752 00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:04,750 YOU READ THE QUESTION, AND--AND POW, RIGHT THERE. 753 00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:06,752 THE ANSWER'S RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HEAD. OH, THAT'S GREAT! 754 00:33:06,785 --> 00:33:09,121 AND YOU'RE SURE YOU GOT 90% RIGHT? 755 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,522 OH, I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 756 00:33:10,556 --> 00:33:12,224 THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED TO PASS THE COURSE 757 00:33:12,258 --> 00:33:13,625 AND STAY ELIGIBLE FOR FOOTBALL. 758 00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:15,294 WELL, I GOT 100% RIGHT! 759 00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,329 100%? YEAH. 760 00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:19,565 ME TOO! I KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS! 761 00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:21,600 THAT'S WONDERFUL! MERLIN! 762 00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,769 MERLIN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHAT YOU'VE DONE 763 00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:25,637 WILL LIVE IN MU MU HISTORY FOREVER. 764 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,639 [all cheering] 765 00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:28,740 THE WAY I SEE IT, 766 00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:31,643 THE REAL FOOTBALL HERO OF MIDVALE IS MERLIN JONES. 767 00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:34,046 [all cheering] 768 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,248 I DON'T MEAN TO KNOCK NORMAN OR LEON OR ANYONE, 769 00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:38,084 BUT THEY WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO PLAY FOOTBALL 770 00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,218 IF IT WASN'T FOR MERLIN. 771 00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:40,286 AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW 772 00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:41,753 THAT I'VE HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM FROM THE START. 773 00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:43,155 I KNEW HE'D COME THROUGH, AND HE HAS! 774 00:33:43,189 --> 00:33:46,192 [all cheering] 775 00:33:49,328 --> 00:33:50,762 FROM NOW ON, YOU MUST THINK OF MERLIN 776 00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:53,365 AS BELONGING TO MIDVALE AND NOT JUST TO YOU. 777 00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,101 OH, I DON'T REALLY MIND. 778 00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:57,236 ONLY HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ENJOY IT SO. 779 00:33:57,269 --> 00:33:59,371 [telephone ringing] EXCUSE ME. 780 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:02,774 HELLO? OH, HI, HENRY. 781 00:34:02,808 --> 00:34:05,111 QUIET, EVERYONE! QUIET! 782 00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:06,278 THIS IS IT. 783 00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,779 THAT'S THE ENGLISH LIT GRADES. 784 00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:09,515 WE GOT A CONTACT THAT PHONES US THE RESULTS 785 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:11,117 AS SOON AS THE PAPERS ARE MARKED. 786 00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:12,184 THAT'S GREAT. 787 00:34:12,218 --> 00:34:15,354 OKAY, LET'S START WITH LEON. 788 00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,356 LEON, "F." "F"?! 789 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,691 (all) "F"?! 790 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,529 ARE YOU SURE? 791 00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,431 WELL, WHAT ABOUT NORMAN? 792 00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:28,834 NORMAN, "F"? 793 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:32,671 [all murmuring] 794 00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:34,306 WHAT?! AN "F" 795 00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:35,507 FOR MERLIN JONES?! 796 00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:38,610 [murmuring] 797 00:34:38,644 --> 00:34:42,648 NORMAN, MERLIN, AND LEON-- YES, I'LL TELL THEM. 798 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:46,252 WIPE THAT LIPSTICK OFF YOUR FACE, STUPID. 799 00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:49,655 YOU'RE WANTED IN THE REGENTS' OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. 800 00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:55,794 NOW, PROFESSOR, WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN 801 00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:58,397 OF THE CONSPIRACY TO CHEAT ON THE ENGLISH LIT EXAM? 802 00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:00,266 JUST A MINUTE-- THAT'S A LEADING QUESTION, 803 00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:02,501 WHICH PRESUMES THE GUILT OF THE DEFENDANTS. 804 00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:03,769 NOW, THE CORRECT LEGAL PROCEDURE-- 805 00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:06,572 YOU HAVE MADE YOUR OBJECTION, JUDGE HOLMSBY, 806 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,907 AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN LEGAL PROCEDURE TO ME. 807 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,643 OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE AN ATTORNEY. 808 00:35:11,677 --> 00:35:15,647 I'M NOT, BUT I WATCH ALL OF THE LAWYER SHOWS ON TELEVISION. 809 00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:17,249 WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT'S BETTER 810 00:35:17,283 --> 00:35:18,517 THAN WATCHING ALL THE DOCTOR SHOWS 811 00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:19,785 AND GOING AROUND PERFORMING OPERATIONS. 812 00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:20,786 [laughs] 813 00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:23,389 [both laugh] 814 00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:24,890 [laughter stops] 815 00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:26,925 WOULD YOU MIND LETTING THE WITNESS ANSWER THE QUESTION? 816 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,894 NOT AT ALL. HMM. 817 00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:30,662 WELL, PROFESSOR? 818 00:35:30,696 --> 00:35:32,931 DURING THE EXAMINATION, 819 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:36,268 THE INSTRUCTOR BECAME SUSPICIOUS OF CERTAIN MOVEMENTS 820 00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:37,769 THAT WERE BEING MADE BY MERLIN JONES. 821 00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:40,739 THE INSTRUCTOR CONTACTED ME 822 00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:42,408 IN MY PLACE OF CONCEALMENT, 823 00:35:42,441 --> 00:35:43,909 AND I PHOTOGRAPHED MR. JONES 824 00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:45,911 GIVING SIGNALS TO OTHER STUDENTS. 825 00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:48,647 ARE THESE THE PHOTOGRAPHS? 826 00:35:52,418 --> 00:35:54,386 THEY ARE. EXHIBIT "A." 827 00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:57,789 WAS THERE ANY EVIDENCE TO CONVINCE YOU OF YOUR SUSPICIONS? 828 00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,258 THERE WAS, INDEED. 829 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:00,659 AND WHAT WAS THAT EVIDENCE? 830 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,394 WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR GRADED THE PAPERS, 831 00:36:02,428 --> 00:36:05,731 HE FOUND THAT TWO OTHER STUDENTS HAD WRITTEN ANSWERS 832 00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:07,533 THAT WERE WORD-FOR-WORD THE SAME 833 00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:09,535 AS THOSE OF MERLIN JONES. 834 00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:11,237 "WORD-FOR-WORD 835 00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:14,506 THE SAME AS THOSE OF MERLIN JONES." 836 00:36:14,540 --> 00:36:16,442 YOUR WITNESS. 837 00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:19,711 NO QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. 838 00:36:19,745 --> 00:36:21,513 THANK YOU, PROFESSOR. 839 00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:27,619 I NOW CALL MERLIN JONES. 840 00:36:27,653 --> 00:36:30,222 [door closes] 841 00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:38,530 YOU ARE A VERY CLEVER YOUNG MAN, MR. JONES. 842 00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:39,931 AND I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU 843 00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:41,800 ON THE INGENIOUS CODE YOU WORKED OUT. 844 00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,935 I'D LIKE YOU TO EXPLAIN IT TO US. 845 00:36:43,969 --> 00:36:47,005 NOW, UH, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN-- SCRATCHING YOUR EAR? 846 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,774 IT MEANS MY EAR ITCHED. 847 00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:50,542 YOUR EAR ITCHED? 848 00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:51,610 DOES IT ITCH OFTEN? 849 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:54,513 [chuckles] NO. IT DOESN'T. 850 00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,581 MM-HMM. 851 00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:58,950 NOW, WHY SHOULD YOUR EAR CONVENIENTLY PICK EXAM TIME 852 00:36:58,984 --> 00:36:59,818 TO START ITCHING? 853 00:36:59,851 --> 00:37:02,821 WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD'VE BEEN NERVOUS. 854 00:37:02,854 --> 00:37:04,290 THAT MIGHT HAVE CAUSED IT. 855 00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,491 NERVOUS. [chuckles] 856 00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,659 NOW, WHY SHOULD A GOOD STUDENT LIKE YOU 857 00:37:07,693 --> 00:37:09,928 BE NERVOUS OVER AN ENGLISH LIT EXAM? 858 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:12,531 UNLESS YOU WERE WORRIED THAT SOMEONE MIGHT CATCH YOU 859 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,700 SIGNALING THE ANSWERS TO THE OTHER TWO. 860 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:18,003 THAT ISN'T IT AT ALL! I WAS NERVOUS BECAUSE-- 861 00:37:18,036 --> 00:37:18,870 NEVER MIND, MR. JONES. 862 00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:21,507 WE UNDERSTAND. NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. 863 00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:23,375 JUDGE HOLMSBY? 864 00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:25,977 NO QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME. 865 00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,946 YOU MAY STEP DOWN. 866 00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:31,950 YOU HAVE JUST HEARD FROM THE MASTERMIND. 867 00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:33,585 WE WILL NOW HEAR 868 00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:37,323 FROM LEON AND NORMAN, HIS PARTNERS IN CRIME. 869 00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:38,690 OH, NO SELF-RESPECTING TELEVISION ATTORNEY 870 00:37:38,724 --> 00:37:40,359 WOULD LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT ONE. 871 00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:43,695 LOOK AT THEM, GENTLEMEN. 872 00:37:43,729 --> 00:37:47,666 DO THEY LOOK LIKE STUDENTS WHO WOULD GET GRADES OF 100% 873 00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,635 IN ENGLISH LITERATURE? 874 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,471 DO THEY LOOK CAPABLE OF TURNING IN 875 00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:54,440 PERFECT EXAM PAPERS? 876 00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,542 IF THE CHARGE AGAINST THESE MEN WAS LOOKING STUPID, 877 00:37:56,575 --> 00:37:58,076 I WOULDN'T BE HERE DEFENDING THEM. 878 00:37:58,109 --> 00:38:01,680 AND IF MIDVALE HAD A REGULATION AGAINST MEN LOOKING STUPID, 879 00:38:01,713 --> 00:38:04,416 WE MIGHT LOSE HALF THE STUDENT BODY 880 00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:08,987 AND AT LEAST ONE MEMBER OF THE BOARD OF REGENTS AS WELL. 881 00:38:10,822 --> 00:38:12,824 I HAVE TOTALED UP 882 00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:15,093 THE ENTIRE NUMBER OF HOURS IN THE DAY 883 00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,696 WHICH YOU SPEND IN CLASS, 884 00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:20,699 UH, AT FOOTBALL PRACTICE, 885 00:38:20,732 --> 00:38:22,568 ON MEALS, 886 00:38:22,601 --> 00:38:24,102 ON SLEEP-- 887 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:26,672 23 HOURS. 888 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:30,409 THAT LEAVES YOU ONE WHOLE HOUR TO WASTE. 889 00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:31,910 YEAH, YOU GOT TO DO A LITTLE GOOFING OFF. 890 00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:32,911 [both laugh] 891 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:34,946 AND WHEN DO YOU FIND TIME 892 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:36,782 TO STUDY YOUR ENGLISH LIT? 893 00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,684 WHEN WE'RE ASLEEP. 894 00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:40,786 THIS IS NO TIME FOR FACETIOUSNESS. 895 00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:43,855 I ASKED WHEN DO YOU STUDY 896 00:38:43,889 --> 00:38:45,090 FOR YOUR ENGLISH LIT EXAMS? 897 00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,826 HE TOLD YOU-- WHEN WE'RE ASLEEP. 898 00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:49,561 HMM. 899 00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:54,700 YOU STUDY YOUR ENGLISH LIT WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP. 900 00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,801 THAT'S ALL. 901 00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,836 JUST A MINUTE. 902 00:38:57,869 --> 00:38:59,971 UH, I DON'T BELIEVE MR. DEARBORNE BELIEVES YOU 903 00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:02,708 WHEN YOU SAID YOU STUDIED FOR YOUR ENGLISH LIT EXAMS 904 00:39:02,741 --> 00:39:03,842 WHILE YOU SLEPT. 905 00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:04,943 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME 906 00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,446 JUDGE HOLMSBY AND I HAVE EVER AGREED ON ANYTHING. 907 00:39:07,479 --> 00:39:10,682 WILL YOU EXPLAIN HOW YOU STUDIED FOR YOUR ENGLISH LIT EXAMS 908 00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:11,717 IN MORE DETAIL, PLEASE? 909 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:15,053 WELL, THERE ARE THESE THINGS ATTACHED TO OUR HEADS. 910 00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:17,122 I BELIEVE THEY'RE CALLED EARS. 911 00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:19,958 NO, THESE THINGS HAD WIRES CONNECTED TO THEM. 912 00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:22,694 AND MERLIN MADE A RECORD, AND WHILE WE SLEPT, 913 00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:24,830 THIS RECORD PLAYED OVER AND OVER AGAIN, 914 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,832 AND WHEN WE WOKE UP, WELL, WE KNEW IT. 915 00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,567 IT'S BECAUSE MERLIN JONES TAUGHT THEM 916 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:29,535 BY WAY OF SLEEP LEARNING 917 00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:31,670 THAT ALL THREE OF THEIR EXAM PAPERS WERE ALIKE. 918 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:33,104 DO YOU EXPECT US TO BELIEVE 919 00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,173 A COCK-AND-BULL STORY LIKE THAT? 920 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,108 MERLIN HAS BEEN EDUCATING A CHIMPANZEE 921 00:39:37,142 --> 00:39:38,444 THROUGH SLEEP LEARNING. 922 00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:39,578 A CHIMPANZEE. 923 00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:41,112 YES, A CHIMPANZEE. 924 00:39:41,146 --> 00:39:43,415 SO HE DECIDED TO USE SLEEP LEARNING 925 00:39:43,449 --> 00:39:46,618 WHEN THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS NEEDED AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT. 926 00:39:46,652 --> 00:39:47,853 CHEAT! THERE, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. 927 00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,788 SLEEP LEARNING OR NOT, IT IS CHEATING. 928 00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:51,089 I SAID AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT. 929 00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:52,458 THERE IS NO SUCH THING! 930 00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:53,492 AND I SAY THERE IS! 931 00:39:53,525 --> 00:39:55,727 DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU LEARN AS LONG AS YOU LEARN! 932 00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:58,897 HOLMSBY, YOU ARE A PIGHEADED OLD FOOL! 933 00:39:58,930 --> 00:40:01,066 GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. 934 00:40:01,099 --> 00:40:04,436 GENTLEMEN, I THINK IT MIGHT BE WISER 935 00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:06,572 IF WE DISMISSED OUR WITNESSES 936 00:40:06,605 --> 00:40:09,040 AND CONTINUED OUR LITTLE CONVERSATION 937 00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,710 IN PRIVATE. 938 00:40:19,485 --> 00:40:20,986 LOOKS BAD, HUH? 939 00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:23,855 WELL, ALL THE SAME, I-I WANT TO THANK YOU, MERLIN. 940 00:40:23,889 --> 00:40:25,991 THANKS FOR WHAT, FOR GETTING US EXPELLED? 941 00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:28,594 IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO WANTS TO HIRE A TRUCK DRIVER 942 00:40:28,627 --> 00:40:30,996 WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT ENGLISH LITERATURE, 943 00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:33,699 LET ME KNOW. 944 00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,801 THE IMPORTANT THING, MERLIN, IS YOU TRIED. 945 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,704 IF I HADN'T TRIED, WE'D ALL STILL BE IN COLLEGE. 946 00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:40,105 WELL, WE'RE NOT EXPELLED YET. 947 00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:42,841 WELL, THE JUDGE IS STILL IN THERE FIGHTING FOR US. 948 00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:44,242 WELL, LISTEN, MERLIN, 949 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:47,979 ALL THE BRAINS I EVER KNEW BEFORE YOU WERE KIND OF SNOBS, 950 00:40:48,013 --> 00:40:49,247 BUT NOT YOU. 951 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,850 W-WELL, YOU'RE JUST LIKE A REGULAR STUPID FELLA, 952 00:40:51,883 --> 00:40:54,252 AND THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU. 953 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:56,121 THANKS, LEON. 954 00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:58,990 WELL, COME ON, LET'S GO BACK TO THE MU MU HOUSE. 955 00:40:59,024 --> 00:41:02,127 NO, I BETTER GET HOME. I LEFT STANLEY WITH A SITTER. 956 00:41:06,632 --> 00:41:08,600 AND WHEN WILL THE HEAD OF THE GREEK DEPARTMENT 957 00:41:08,634 --> 00:41:10,602 BE PAID AS MUCH AS THE FOOTBALL COACH? 958 00:41:10,636 --> 00:41:12,871 JUST AS SOON AS YOU SEE 50,000 PEOPLE 959 00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,740 CHEERING A GREEK RECITATION. 960 00:41:14,773 --> 00:41:16,975 A COLLEGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PLACE OF LEARNING. 961 00:41:17,008 --> 00:41:20,579 THE ONLY QUESTION IS WHETHER TO EXPEL THESE STUDENTS. 962 00:41:20,612 --> 00:41:22,113 IF THEY'RE GUILTY, I AM, TOO. 963 00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,049 I URGED MERLIN TO DO WHAT HE DID. 964 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,250 AND IF YOU WERE A STUDENT, 965 00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:26,918 I WOULD VOTE TO KICK YOU OUT, TOO. 966 00:41:26,952 --> 00:41:28,119 WELL, IF THEY'RE KICKED OUT, 967 00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:30,055 I'M QUITTING THE BOARD OF REGENTS. 968 00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:32,123 THAT IS THE BEST ARGUMENT FOR EXPELLING THEM 969 00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:33,559 THAT I HAVE HEARD YET! 970 00:41:33,592 --> 00:41:34,560 NOW, LISTEN! NOW, LISTEN! 971 00:41:34,593 --> 00:41:35,627 GENTLEMEN! 972 00:41:35,661 --> 00:41:38,864 GENTLEMEN, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POSITION VERY CLEAR. 973 00:41:38,897 --> 00:41:40,866 WE WILL NOW VOTE... 974 00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:43,268 QUIETLY, CALMLY... 975 00:41:43,301 --> 00:41:45,904 AND WITHOUT PREJUDICE. 976 00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:57,583 [whispering] DID YOU HAVE A NICE EVENING? 977 00:41:57,616 --> 00:41:59,250 [whispering] WELL, I FLUNKED ENGLISH LIT. 978 00:41:59,284 --> 00:42:01,953 I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF CHEATING, AND I MAY GET EXPELLED 979 00:42:01,987 --> 00:42:02,854 FROM COLLEGE. 980 00:42:02,888 --> 00:42:04,856 OUTSIDE OF THAT, I HAD A VERY NICE EVENING. 981 00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:05,691 HOW AWFUL. 982 00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:07,993 THE SLEEP LEARNING IDEA BOOMERANGED. 983 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:10,596 BUT IT'S DONE SO MUCH FOR STANLEY. 984 00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:12,864 I KNOW. 985 00:42:12,898 --> 00:42:15,133 MERLIN, MAY I TRY IT? 986 00:42:15,166 --> 00:42:16,134 WHAT? 987 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,736 THE SLEEP LEARNING. 988 00:42:17,769 --> 00:42:19,137 OH, I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, 989 00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:21,006 BUT IT'S TERRIBLY INTRIGUING. 990 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,608 [sighs] 991 00:42:22,641 --> 00:42:24,610 PLEASE, MERLIN. 992 00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:26,645 AW, ALL RIGHT. 993 00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,183 [clock ticking] 994 00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,985 [alarm ringing] 995 00:42:34,019 --> 00:42:37,889 (Merlin) WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS, TURN IT OFF. 996 00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:38,957 [ringing stops] 997 00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:41,292 GET OUT OF BED. 998 00:42:43,995 --> 00:42:46,698 TURN ON THE COFFEE. 999 00:42:46,732 --> 00:42:48,133 [doorbell rings] 1000 00:42:49,635 --> 00:42:52,137 OH, YOU POOR DARLING, SITTING HERE ALONE 1001 00:42:52,170 --> 00:42:53,138 AT A TIME LIKE THIS! 1002 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:54,205 PUT OUT THE CAT. 1003 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,741 I CAME OVER JUST AS SOON AS I HEARD. 1004 00:42:55,774 --> 00:42:57,008 I THOUGHT OF YOU LONELY AND DESPERATE. 1005 00:42:57,042 --> 00:42:59,177 OH, YOU NEEDED ME, DIDN'T YOU, MERLIN? 1006 00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:01,379 [meows] THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO YOU. 1007 00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:02,981 TAKE A SHOWER, BRUSH YOUR TEETH. 1008 00:43:03,014 --> 00:43:04,716 OF ALL THE PEOPLE I'VE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, 1009 00:43:04,750 --> 00:43:05,884 YOU ARE THE MOST STRAIGHTFORWARD, 1010 00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:09,220 ABOVEBOARD, HIGH-MINDED... 1011 00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:13,291 [door closes] 1012 00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:18,029 TWO-FACED, DOUBLE-DEALING CAT I'VE EVER KNOWN! 1013 00:43:18,063 --> 00:43:20,666 [water running] 1014 00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:25,671 ALL RIGHT, LISA, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1015 00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:28,273 OH, HELLO. W-WE WERE JUST CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT. 1016 00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:30,008 YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING CHIMPSITTER, 1017 00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:31,209 I SHOULD'VE KNOWN WHAT YOU WERE UP TO! 1018 00:43:31,242 --> 00:43:32,377 THE EXPERIMENT'S OVER! 1019 00:43:32,410 --> 00:43:33,712 JEN, LET ME EXPLAIN. 1020 00:43:33,745 --> 00:43:34,846 YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 1021 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:35,847 IT'S QUITE CLEAR WHAT'S GOING ON. 1022 00:43:35,881 --> 00:43:36,848 I RESENT THAT! 1023 00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:38,884 OH, YOU DO, DO YOU?! YES, I DO! 1024 00:43:38,917 --> 00:43:41,086 [both shouting] (Merlin) PLEASE, GIRLS! 1025 00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:43,722 STOP YOUR YELLING AND SHOUTING. YOU'LL UPSET STANLEY. 1026 00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:47,025 SO THAT'S IT? ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS STANLEY. 1027 00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,894 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT, JENNIFER. 1028 00:43:48,927 --> 00:43:50,729 HE HASN'T GIVEN A THOUGHT TO MY FEELINGS 1029 00:43:50,762 --> 00:43:51,730 OR YOURS. 1030 00:43:51,763 --> 00:43:53,131 THAT'S JUST IT, LISA. 1031 00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:54,432 AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, HE CAN TAKE STANLEY, 1032 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:55,901 AND BOTH GO BACK TO THE JUNGLE! 1033 00:43:55,934 --> 00:43:57,235 I'M FOR THAT, TOO! 1034 00:43:57,268 --> 00:43:58,804 BUT, JEN! 1035 00:43:58,837 --> 00:44:00,972 ISN'T IT RIDICULOUS THE WAY HE PAMPERS HIM? 1036 00:44:01,006 --> 00:44:03,274 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, AND I'LL BE GLAD TO TESTIFY 1037 00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:06,111 THAT HE'S NOT A FIT GUARDIAN FOR A CHIMPANZEE. 1038 00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:07,645 [Stanley chattering] 1039 00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:10,882 STANLEY, PEOPLE ARE DIFFICULT. 1040 00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:11,883 [car door closes] 1041 00:44:11,917 --> 00:44:13,985 YOU TRY AND DO YOUR BEST FOR THEM, AND THEN... 1042 00:44:14,019 --> 00:44:15,887 [chattering] SUDDENLY... 1043 00:44:20,892 --> 00:44:23,762 OH, NO, STANLEY. NOT YOU, TOO. 1044 00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,897 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE, STANLEY, 1045 00:44:25,931 --> 00:44:27,332 TO FEEL THE WHOLE WORLD'S AGAINST YOU? 1046 00:44:27,365 --> 00:44:28,333 [chatters softly] 1047 00:44:28,366 --> 00:44:30,769 I TRIED TO HELP THE FOOTBALL TEAM AND FAILED. 1048 00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:34,039 NOW EVERYONE ON CAMPUS HATES ME. 1049 00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:35,741 BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER, 1050 00:44:35,774 --> 00:44:37,175 BECAUSE I WON'T EVEN BE ON CAMPUS. 1051 00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:39,410 I'M BEING EXPELLED FROM MIDVALE, 1052 00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:43,248 KICKED OUT IN DISGRACE. 1053 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:45,884 AND JENNIFER... 1054 00:44:45,917 --> 00:44:48,319 SHE'S TURNED AGAINST ME, TOO. 1055 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:52,023 YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT, STANLEY, 1056 00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:54,960 ALL I HAVE LEFT. 1057 00:44:57,295 --> 00:45:00,298 [chattering] 1058 00:45:03,468 --> 00:45:06,471 [telephone ringing] 1059 00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:10,909 HELLO? 1060 00:45:10,942 --> 00:45:13,011 [sighs] YES, JUDGE HOLMSBY. 1061 00:45:13,044 --> 00:45:15,513 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE RIGHT AWAY. 1062 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:18,483 BUT, SIR, I-I DON'T HAVE ANYONE I CAN LEAVE STANLEY WITH. 1063 00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:20,185 WELL, BRING STANLEY WITH YOU, 1064 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,153 BUT GET HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 1065 00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:23,321 YES, SIR. 1066 00:45:23,354 --> 00:45:24,823 GOOD-BYE, SIR. 1067 00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:29,761 WELL, STANLEY, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET GOING AND FACE THE WORST. 1068 00:45:29,795 --> 00:45:32,297 [doorbell rings] 1069 00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,165 GOOD EVENING, MR. JONES, STANLEY. 1070 00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:35,801 GOOD EVENING, SIR. 1071 00:45:40,806 --> 00:45:43,308 THE BOARD OF REGENTS MADE ITS DECISION. 1072 00:45:43,341 --> 00:45:46,011 IT'S THEIR VERDICT THAT... 1073 00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,146 (all) SURPRISE! 1074 00:45:48,179 --> 00:45:50,916 IT'S THEIR VERDICT THAT SLEEP LEARNING 1075 00:45:50,949 --> 00:45:52,450 IS AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT, 1076 00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:54,552 WITH THE EMPHASIS ON HONEST. 1077 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,054 WE GOT "A"s IN ENGLISH LIT! 1078 00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:57,055 WE CAN PLAY FOOTBALL! 1079 00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,323 HOORAY FOR MERLIN! 1080 00:45:58,356 --> 00:46:00,491 [all cheering] 1081 00:46:03,829 --> 00:46:06,965 JUST CONGRATULATE HIM. HE'LL UNDERSTAND. 1082 00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:11,036 (all) * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW * 1083 00:46:11,069 --> 00:46:12,904 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW * 1084 00:46:12,938 --> 00:46:16,541 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY * 1085 00:46:16,574 --> 00:46:20,145 * WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY, WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY * 1086 00:46:20,178 --> 00:46:22,180 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW * 1087 00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:24,015 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW * 1088 00:46:24,049 --> 00:46:28,319 * FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW * 1089 00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:31,356 * WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY 1090 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:34,325 (college president) WELL, GENTLEMEN, 1091 00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:37,595 NOW THAT OUR UNHAPPY LITTLE CONTROVERSY IS OVER, 1092 00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,164 I'M SURE WE'RE ALL AGREED 1093 00:46:39,197 --> 00:46:43,201 TO CLOSE RANKS AND PROCEED WITH OUR PROPER TASK-- 1094 00:46:43,234 --> 00:46:45,503 EDUCATING THE YOUNG MIND. 1095 00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:48,039 QUITE RIGHT. EXACTLY. 1096 00:46:48,073 --> 00:46:50,041 UH, HOWEVER, THE FIRST BUSINESS AT HAND 1097 00:46:50,075 --> 00:46:53,912 IS THIS YEAR'S FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN, 1098 00:46:53,945 --> 00:46:56,447 FOR OUR BELOVED COLLEGE, ONCE AGAIN, ALAS, 1099 00:46:56,481 --> 00:47:00,085 IS CHRONICALLY SHORT OF CASH. 1100 00:47:00,118 --> 00:47:01,319 IN CONNECTION WITH THAT, MR. PRESIDENT, 1101 00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:02,921 UH, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, 1102 00:47:02,954 --> 00:47:05,924 WHICH I THINK WILL MAKE EVERYONE HERE FEEL VERY HAPPY. 1103 00:47:05,957 --> 00:47:08,927 I HAVE PERSUADED MR. J.P. ASTERBILT 1104 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,399 TO ENDOW MIDVALE COLLEGE WITH $1 MILLION. 1105 00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:17,869 $1 MILLION? W-W-WHY, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 1106 00:47:17,903 --> 00:47:20,939 ALTHOUGH WE'VE HAD OUR DISAGREEMENTS IN THE PAST, 1107 00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:22,941 I MUST SAY THAT MR. DEARBORNE... 1108 00:47:22,974 --> 00:47:24,009 NOW, THERE IS A CONDITION. 1109 00:47:24,042 --> 00:47:27,078 MR. ASTERBILT STIPULATES FOOTBALL MUST BE ABOLISHED, 1110 00:47:27,112 --> 00:47:28,346 OR THE DEAL IS OFF. 1111 00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:30,315 IS A STUBBORN, PIGHEADED FOOL. 1112 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:32,050 I HAVE NO WISH TO ARGUE WITH THE JUDGE OR-- 1113 00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:33,584 DEARBORNE, YOU POSITIVELY 1114 00:47:33,618 --> 00:47:37,022 HOLD THE WORLD'S RECORD AT GRUDGE CARRYING. 1115 00:47:37,055 --> 00:47:38,189 JUST BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T MAKE THE TEAM 1116 00:47:38,223 --> 00:47:39,324 WHEN YOU WERE A STUDENT HERE, 1117 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:41,359 YOU'RE FOREVER SNIPING 1118 00:47:41,392 --> 00:47:42,460 AT MIDVALE FOOTBALL. 1119 00:47:42,493 --> 00:47:45,063 THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ANGER, JUDGE. 1120 00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:47,332 WE CAN KEEP FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE, 1121 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:51,202 OR WE CAN HAVE $1 MILLION. 1122 00:47:51,236 --> 00:47:53,271 TAKE YOUR CHOICE. [chuckles] 1123 00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:55,373 (college president) OF COURSE, FOOTBALL 1124 00:47:55,406 --> 00:47:58,143 DOES TAKE TIME AWAY FROM STUDIES. 1125 00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:00,478 AND THERE'S ALWAYS THE DANGER THAT SOMEONE WILL GET HURT. 1126 00:48:00,511 --> 00:48:02,948 AND IT CREATES THE WRONG KIND OF ATMOSPHERE 1127 00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:04,582 FOR AN INSTITUSION OF HIGHER LEARNING. 1128 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:08,586 WELL, GENTLEMEN, WE ALL SEEM TO BE IN AGREEMENT, 1129 00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:09,988 UH, ALMOST ALL, THAT IS. 1130 00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:10,922 TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY, 1131 00:48:10,956 --> 00:48:14,592 MR. ASTERBILT WILL BE HERE WITH A CHECK 1132 00:48:14,625 --> 00:48:17,162 FOR $1 MILLION. 1133 00:48:17,195 --> 00:48:18,296 AND AT THAT TIME, 1134 00:48:18,329 --> 00:48:20,198 FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE 1135 00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,567 WILL COME TO AN END. 1136 00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:33,211 THERE'S SOMEONE TO SEE YOU, JUDGE. 1137 00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:34,545 I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE. 1138 00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:37,215 HIS NAME IS DARIUS GREEN III. 1139 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:38,950 I DON'T KNOW ANY DARIUS GREEN. 1140 00:48:38,984 --> 00:48:40,151 HE'S IN THE STUDY. 1141 00:48:40,185 --> 00:48:41,953 I COULDN'T GET RID OF HIM. MAYBE YOU CAN. 1142 00:48:41,987 --> 00:48:43,554 HUH. 1143 00:48:43,588 --> 00:48:47,092 JUDGE HOLMSBY, I'M GLAD TO MEET YOU. 1144 00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:48,626 I'M DARIUS GREEN III. 1145 00:48:48,659 --> 00:48:50,628 WELL, MR. GREEN, I'M A VERY BUSY MAN. 1146 00:48:50,661 --> 00:48:54,199 SO AM I, BUT I'M GONNA READ YOU A POEM ABOUT MY GRANDDADDY. 1147 00:48:54,232 --> 00:48:55,733 I TOLD YOU, I AM VERY BUSY. 1148 00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,003 AND IT MIGHT MEAN A VERY BIG ENDOWMENT 1149 00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,470 TO MIDVALE COLLEGE. 1150 00:48:59,504 --> 00:49:03,241 HOWEVER, I'M NEVER TOO BUSY TO LISTEN TO A GOOD POEM. 1151 00:49:03,274 --> 00:49:05,076 AH, I KNEW YOU WEREN'T. 1152 00:49:05,110 --> 00:49:07,745 UH, UH, THE NAME OF THIS POEM 1153 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:11,516 IS DARIUS GREEN AND HIS FLYING MACHINE. 1154 00:49:11,549 --> 00:49:12,617 INTERESTING TITLE. 1155 00:49:12,650 --> 00:49:14,619 THAT WOULD BE DARIUS GREEN I, I PRESUME. 1156 00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:18,089 MY GRANDDADDY. 1157 00:49:18,123 --> 00:49:21,092 "AN ASPIRING GENIUS WAS DARIUS GREEN. 1158 00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,628 "SON OF A FARMER, AGE 14. 1159 00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:26,497 "HIS BODY WAS LONG AND LANK AND LEAN, 1160 00:49:26,531 --> 00:49:29,967 JUST RIGHT FOR FLYING, AS WE'LL BE SEEING." 1161 00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:34,472 "THE BIRDS CAN FLY, AND WHY CAN'T I? 1162 00:49:34,505 --> 00:49:36,607 "'MUST WE GIVE IN,' HE SAID WITH A GRIN. 1163 00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:40,611 "JUST FOLD OUR HANDS AND LET THE 'SWALLER' 1164 00:49:40,645 --> 00:49:43,348 AND BLACKBIRD AND CATBIRD BEAT US HOLLER." 1165 00:49:43,381 --> 00:49:45,483 THAT WAS GOOD THINKING, MR. GREEN. 1166 00:49:45,516 --> 00:49:46,551 GRANDDADDY WAS SMART, 1167 00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:49,587 NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. 1168 00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:50,755 "SO, DAY AFTER DAY, 1169 00:49:50,788 --> 00:49:53,358 "HE STITCHED AND TINKERED AND HAMMERED AWAY 1170 00:49:53,391 --> 00:49:54,692 "TILL AT LAST IT WAS DONE, 1171 00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,595 "THE GREATEST INVENTION UNDER THE SUN. 1172 00:49:57,628 --> 00:50:01,099 "THEN, SAID DARIUS, 'HOORAY FOR SOME FUN.'" 1173 00:50:01,132 --> 00:50:03,634 "HOORAY FOR SOME FUN." 1174 00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:07,772 "SO THIS MODERN KNIGHT PREPARED FOR FLIGHT, 1175 00:50:07,805 --> 00:50:10,241 "PUT ON HIS WINGS AND STRAPPED THEM TIGHT. 1176 00:50:10,275 --> 00:50:12,777 "BUCKLED THEM FAST TO SHOULDER AND HIP. 1177 00:50:12,810 --> 00:50:15,380 TEN FEET THEY MEASURED FROM TIP TO TIP." 1178 00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:18,149 IMAGINE A WINGSPREAD OF TEN FEET. 1179 00:50:19,784 --> 00:50:22,220 "STEPPIN' CAREFUL, HE TRAVELED THE LENGTH 1180 00:50:22,253 --> 00:50:25,756 "OF HIS SPRINGBOARD AND TEETERED TO TRY ITS STRENGTH. 1181 00:50:25,790 --> 00:50:29,227 "NOW HE STRETCHES HIS WINGS LIKE A MONSTROUS BAT, 1182 00:50:29,260 --> 00:50:32,563 "PEEKS OVER HIS SHOULDER THIS WAY AND THAT. 1183 00:50:32,597 --> 00:50:35,766 "FOR TO SEE IF THERE'S ANYONE PASSING BY, 1184 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,237 TO SEE THE DRAGON HE'S GOING TO FLY." 1185 00:50:39,270 --> 00:50:41,639 GO ON, PLEASE. GO ON. 1186 00:50:41,672 --> 00:50:43,741 "AS A DEMON IS HURLED 1187 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:45,243 "BY AN ANGEL'S SPEAR, 1188 00:50:45,276 --> 00:50:47,412 "HEELS OVER HEAD TO HIS PROPER SPHERE, 1189 00:50:47,445 --> 00:50:51,382 "SO FELL DARIUS UPON HIS CROWN. 1190 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:53,818 "INTO THE BARNYARD, HE COMES DOWN 1191 00:50:53,851 --> 00:50:56,654 "IN A WONDERFUL WORLD OF TANGLED STRINGS, 1192 00:50:56,687 --> 00:50:59,190 "BROKEN BRACES AND BROKEN SPRINGS, 1193 00:50:59,224 --> 00:51:01,492 "BROKEN TAIL AND BROKEN WINGS, 1194 00:51:01,526 --> 00:51:04,629 SHOOTING STARS AND VARIOUS THINGS." 1195 00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:07,298 OH, HOW VERY SAD, MR. GREEN. 1196 00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:09,500 THERE IT IS, JUDGE. 1197 00:51:09,534 --> 00:51:10,635 AND EVER SINCE, 1198 00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:13,604 GRANDDADDY DARIUS HAS BEEN TREATED LIKE A SIMPLETON, 1199 00:51:13,638 --> 00:51:17,108 INSTEAD OF A MAN WAY AHEAD OF HIS TIMES. 1200 00:51:17,142 --> 00:51:19,310 JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THEY DRAWED HIM. 1201 00:51:19,344 --> 00:51:22,480 THEY WASN'T CONTENT TO HAVE HIM ACT THE FOOL. 1202 00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:24,782 THEY EVEN PICTURED HIM LOOKING LIKE A FOOL. 1203 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:27,518 I GATHER YOU FEEL YOUR ANCESTOR'S BEEN SLURRED, 1204 00:51:27,552 --> 00:51:29,787 BUT WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT NOW? 1205 00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:32,123 WELL, I'D LIKE TO CLEAR GRANDDADDY'S NAME 1206 00:51:32,157 --> 00:51:35,160 BY PROVING A FELLA CAN FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER 1207 00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:37,395 BY GETTING SOMEONE TO DO IT. 1208 00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,730 THAT'S WHY I CAME ALL THE WAY FROM VERMONT 1209 00:51:39,764 --> 00:51:41,232 TO SEE YOU. 1210 00:51:41,266 --> 00:51:42,633 TO SEE ME? 1211 00:51:42,667 --> 00:51:43,768 WELL, I HEARD YOU WERE A MEMBER 1212 00:51:43,801 --> 00:51:45,636 OF THE BOARD OF REGENTS AT MIDVALE COLLEGE. 1213 00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:46,671 YES, I AM. 1214 00:51:46,704 --> 00:51:47,905 HMM. 1215 00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,375 I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. 1216 00:51:50,408 --> 00:51:53,211 WOULD MIDVALE CONSIDER AN ENDOWMENT OF $10 MILLION 1217 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:56,514 ENOUGH TO GET THEM INTERESTED IN WORKING ON THIS HERE IDEA? 1218 00:51:56,547 --> 00:51:59,450 [laughing] 1219 00:51:59,484 --> 00:52:01,286 WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 1220 00:52:01,319 --> 00:52:04,522 [laughing] WELL, FOR A MINUTE, IT SOUNDED AS THOUGH-- 1221 00:52:04,555 --> 00:52:07,625 IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU SAID, "$10 MILLION." 1222 00:52:07,658 --> 00:52:09,360 [laughing] THAT'S WHAT I DID SAY. 1223 00:52:09,394 --> 00:52:11,929 [stops laughing] 1224 00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:14,532 $10 MILLION? 1225 00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:16,267 THAT'S RIGHT. 1226 00:52:16,301 --> 00:52:19,270 ONE, ZERO... 1227 00:52:19,304 --> 00:52:22,507 ZERO, ZERO, ZERO... 1228 00:52:22,540 --> 00:52:24,609 ZERO, ZERO, ZERO? 1229 00:52:24,642 --> 00:52:26,644 DON'T WORRY, JUDGE. 1230 00:52:26,677 --> 00:52:28,779 YOU CAN LOOK ME UP AND DOWN ON BRIDE STREET. 1231 00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:30,648 YOU'LL FIND I'M PRETTY WELL FIXED. 1232 00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:32,883 OH, I'M NOT WORRYING ABOUT YOU, MR. GREEN. 1233 00:52:32,917 --> 00:52:35,520 BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION. 1234 00:52:35,553 --> 00:52:37,788 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT FOOTBALL? 1235 00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:38,923 OH, I LIKE IT. 1236 00:52:38,956 --> 00:52:41,259 UH, BUT I CAN'T PLAY WITH YOU TODAY. 1237 00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:44,395 MR. GREEN, YOU HAVE JUST SAVED FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE COLLEGE. 1238 00:52:44,429 --> 00:52:46,631 WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL? 1239 00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:50,401 BECAUSE YOUR GENEROSITY LETS MIDVALE TURN DOWN ANOTHER OFFER, 1240 00:52:50,435 --> 00:52:51,569 ONE WITH STRINGS ATTACHED. 1241 00:52:51,602 --> 00:52:53,304 WELL, MINE HAS STRINGS, TOO. 1242 00:52:53,338 --> 00:52:55,640 NOT ONE CENT DO YOU GET 1243 00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:59,944 UNTIL YOU REALLY PROVE A MAN CAN FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER. 1244 00:52:59,977 --> 00:53:02,213 NOW, DO YOU THINK MIDVALE HAS THE KNOW-HOW? 1245 00:53:02,247 --> 00:53:03,514 OH, POSITIVELY. 1246 00:53:03,548 --> 00:53:05,516 ARE YOU SURE THEY HAVE? ABSOLUTELY. 1247 00:53:05,550 --> 00:53:06,917 WE'VE GOT-- 1248 00:53:06,951 --> 00:53:08,386 UH, UH, WELL-- 1249 00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:10,788 W-WE HAVE AN ABSOLUTE GENIUS HERE, 1250 00:53:10,821 --> 00:53:12,657 MERLIN JONES-- HE CAN PROVE ANYTHING. 1251 00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:13,924 OH, I'D LIKE TO MEET HIM. 1252 00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,526 BUT--YOU CAN. 1253 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:16,661 IT'S ABOUT LUNCHTIME. 1254 00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,663 WE'LL GO OVER TO THE CAMPUS CAFE. 1255 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,765 UH, MERLIN WAITS ON TABLES THERE. 1256 00:53:20,798 --> 00:53:22,400 WHAT'S A GENIUS DOING WAITING ON TABLES? 1257 00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:25,403 WHY NOT? I HEARD EINSTEIN USED TO WAIT ON TABLES, TOO. 1258 00:53:25,436 --> 00:53:26,704 OH, DID HE? 1259 00:53:28,439 --> 00:53:31,442 [overlapping conversations] 1260 00:53:32,843 --> 00:53:33,944 [laughter] 1261 00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:36,614 I'M VERY SORRY, SIR. 1262 00:53:36,647 --> 00:53:39,517 I HEAR THAT EINSTEIN WASN'T A VERY GOOD WAITER EITHER. 1263 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,552 UM, I'LL GET YOU SOME MORE CLAM CHOWDER, SIR. 1264 00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,288 UH, I DIDN'T ORDER CLAM CHOWDER. 1265 00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:44,789 I JUST WANT A SALAD. YES, SIR. 1266 00:53:44,822 --> 00:53:46,257 OH, BY THE WAY, JUDGE, 1267 00:53:46,291 --> 00:53:47,658 STANLEY AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A PROJECT-- 1268 00:53:47,692 --> 00:53:49,627 WHO'S STANLEY? OH, I'LL HAVE A SALAD, TOO. 1269 00:53:49,660 --> 00:53:50,761 YES, SIR. RIGHT AWAY, SIR. 1270 00:53:50,795 --> 00:53:52,029 STANLEY IS MY-- 1271 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:53,831 EH, EH, WE WANT THE SALADS NOW. YES, SIR. 1272 00:53:53,864 --> 00:53:55,533 (man) HE, MERLIN, HOW ABOUT SOME MORE WATER? 1273 00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:56,534 COMING. 1274 00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:57,802 AND HE'S THE GENIUS AT MIDVALE? 1275 00:53:57,835 --> 00:53:58,669 WELL, I KNOW YOU HAVE 1276 00:53:58,703 --> 00:54:00,538 AN UNFORTUNATE FIRST IMPRESSION OF HIM, 1277 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,773 BUT YOU'LL SEE, HE'LL SURPRISE YOU. 1278 00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:06,377 HE'S GIVEN ME A FEW SURPRISES ALREADY. 1279 00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:07,312 WHO'S STANLEY? 1280 00:54:07,345 --> 00:54:10,381 EH, YEAH, WELL, STANLEY IS HIS NEPHEW-- 1281 00:54:10,415 --> 00:54:11,416 A CHIMPANZEE. 1282 00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:12,783 A CHIMPANZEE? 1283 00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:14,952 YES. I SIGNED THE COURT ORDER MYSELF. 1284 00:54:14,985 --> 00:54:17,788 HE'S LEGALLY THE MONKEY'S UNCLE. 1285 00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,857 [laughing] 1286 00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:21,426 COME ON, MERLIN, WHERE'S THAT WATER? 1287 00:54:21,459 --> 00:54:23,361 SURE, HERE YOU ARE. 1288 00:54:23,394 --> 00:54:24,829 I'M GETTING TOO FAST FOR YOU, MERLIN. 1289 00:54:24,862 --> 00:54:25,963 YOU MISSED ME THAT TIME. 1290 00:54:25,996 --> 00:54:27,632 [laughter] GEE, I'M SORRY, SIR. 1291 00:54:27,665 --> 00:54:28,799 DON'T LET IT WORRY YOU. 1292 00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:30,368 THAT'S YOUR FIRST MISS OF THE DAY. 1293 00:54:30,401 --> 00:54:32,370 OH, NO, WHAT I MEANT WAS-- 1294 00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:33,938 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT. YES, YES, OF COURSE. 1295 00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:35,806 MERLIN, MERLIN, YOU SEE, MR. GREEN 1296 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,676 HAS OFFERED MIDVALE A VERY GENEROUS ENDOWMENT. 1297 00:54:38,709 --> 00:54:39,677 THAT'S WONDERFUL. 1298 00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,379 BUT--BUT-- BUT IT ALL DEPENDS 1299 00:54:41,412 --> 00:54:44,382 ON YOUR BEING ABLE TO DEMONSTRATE MAN-POWERED FLIGHT. 1300 00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:47,017 MAN-POWERED FLIGHT? 1301 00:54:47,051 --> 00:54:48,519 YES. 1302 00:54:48,553 --> 00:54:49,787 BY MAN-POWERED FLIGHT, 1303 00:54:49,820 --> 00:54:51,622 DO YOU MEAN NO GAS-INFLATED DEVICES? 1304 00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:52,623 RIGHT. 1305 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:54,825 NOTHING THAT USES FUEL OR THAT GETS ITS POWER 1306 00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,527 FROM ANYTHING OTHER THAN A MAN'S MUSCLES? 1307 00:54:56,561 --> 00:54:58,429 YES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 1308 00:54:58,463 --> 00:54:59,897 TAKEOFF MAN-POWERED, 1309 00:54:59,930 --> 00:55:02,767 FLIGHT MAINTAINED BY MAN POWER, AND LANDING MAN-POWERED? 1310 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,002 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. 1311 00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:06,837 IT CAN'T BE DONE. 1312 00:55:06,871 --> 00:55:08,373 D'OH! WELL, HE MEANS 1313 00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:09,874 IT'S VERY DIFFICULT, 1314 00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:11,342 UH, BUT, OF COURSE, IT CAN BE DONE. 1315 00:55:11,376 --> 00:55:12,810 NO, WHAT I MEANT WAS-- 1316 00:55:12,843 --> 00:55:15,112 [stammering] MERLIN, WILL YOU GET ME A GLASS OF WATER? 1317 00:55:15,145 --> 00:55:17,548 OH, BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE A GLASS OF WATER. 1318 00:55:17,582 --> 00:55:19,450 NO, THE THING ABOUT MAN-POWERED FLIGHT-- 1319 00:55:19,484 --> 00:55:20,918 WELL, THEN BRING US COFFEE AND--AND THE CHECK. 1320 00:55:20,951 --> 00:55:22,720 [chuckles] YES, SIR. 1321 00:55:22,753 --> 00:55:25,089 YOU SEE, A BRILLIANT YOUNG MAN LIKE MERLIN-- 1322 00:55:25,122 --> 00:55:26,824 OH, UH, WOULD YOU LIKE CREAM IN YOUR COFFEE, SIR? 1323 00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:27,958 NO. YES, YES. 1324 00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:29,694 NO. YES, YES. 1325 00:55:29,727 --> 00:55:30,995 UH... 1326 00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:32,830 IF THAT BOY CAN'T HANDLE IT, 1327 00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:35,833 I GUESS I'LL TAKE MY OFFER OVER TO THAT OTHER COLLEGE NEAR HERE. 1328 00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:38,002 R-RANDALL? OH, THAT WOULD BE VERY STUPID-- 1329 00:55:38,035 --> 00:55:39,203 UH, UNWISE. 1330 00:55:39,236 --> 00:55:41,939 I MEAN, THERE ISN'T ANYONE LIKE MERLIN JONES AT RANDALL. 1331 00:55:41,972 --> 00:55:44,709 I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYONE LIKE MERLIN JONES ANYWHERE. 1332 00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:46,711 OH, YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT, MR. GREEN. 1333 00:55:46,744 --> 00:55:49,514 THERE'S ONLY ONE MERLIN JONES, AND MIDVALE HAS HIM. 1334 00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:52,116 THAT'S WHY I THINK I'LL TAKE MY OFFER OVER TO RANDALL. 1335 00:55:52,149 --> 00:55:55,420 BUT--I WILL GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE 1336 00:55:55,453 --> 00:55:57,722 THAT MERLIN JONES CAN DO THE JOB FOR YOU. 1337 00:55:57,755 --> 00:55:59,089 BUT HE DOESN'T THINK HE CAN. 1338 00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:02,427 OH, THAT'S JUST A SCIENTIST'S APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM. 1339 00:56:02,460 --> 00:56:03,494 YOU SEE, YOU START OFF 1340 00:56:03,528 --> 00:56:05,396 BY ASSUMING WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IS IMPOSSIBLE, 1341 00:56:05,430 --> 00:56:06,697 THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND DO IT. 1342 00:56:06,731 --> 00:56:07,598 IT'S WHAT'S CALLED 1343 00:56:07,632 --> 00:56:10,501 THE, UH, PROVING THE IMPOSSIBLE THEOREM. 1344 00:56:10,535 --> 00:56:11,736 [exhales deeply] 1345 00:56:11,769 --> 00:56:13,971 MR. GREEN, HOW HIGH WOULD A MAN HAVE TO FLY TO SATISFY YOU? 1346 00:56:14,004 --> 00:56:15,039 UH, TEN FEET. 1347 00:56:15,072 --> 00:56:17,575 MM-HMM. AND HOW LONG WOULD HE HAVE TO SUSTAIN IT? 1348 00:56:17,608 --> 00:56:19,577 ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. FIVE MINUTES. 1349 00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,579 300 SECONDS. 1350 00:56:21,612 --> 00:56:24,782 I THINK MERLIN'S GOT SOMETHING FIGURED OUT ALREADY, 1351 00:56:24,815 --> 00:56:25,850 RIGHT, MERLIN? MM-HMM. 1352 00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:27,151 I JUST FIGURED OUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 1353 00:56:27,184 --> 00:56:28,285 UH, UH, THERE, YOU SEE? 1354 00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:30,655 THAT'S A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH, PROVING THE IMPOSSIBLE, 1355 00:56:30,688 --> 00:56:32,690 UH, RIGHT, MR. GREEN? 1356 00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,425 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, JUDGE. 1357 00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:36,961 IN VERMONT, WE DON'T MAKE UP OUR MINDS SO FAST. 1358 00:56:36,994 --> 00:56:38,963 WE LIKE TO GIVE A LITTLE THOUGHT TO THINGS. 1359 00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:41,098 AND QUITE RIGHT, MR. GREEN. 1360 00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:42,967 YOU LIKE TO GIVE A LITTLE THOUGHT TO THINGS, 1361 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,502 SO DOES MERLIN, 1362 00:56:44,535 --> 00:56:45,570 DON'T YOU, MERLIN? 1363 00:56:45,603 --> 00:56:47,004 YOU CAN GIVE THIS A LITTLE THOUGHT, 1364 00:56:47,037 --> 00:56:49,006 CAN'T YOU, FOR, UH, $10 MILLION? 1365 00:56:49,039 --> 00:56:51,942 $10 MILLION? HA HA! 1366 00:56:51,976 --> 00:56:53,878 THERE, YOU SEE, MR. GREEN? THE CHECK, PLEASE. 1367 00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:56,714 NO, NO, NO, I INSIST. 1368 00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:58,115 UH, YOU ARE A GUEST AT MIDVALE, 1369 00:56:58,148 --> 00:57:00,818 AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SPENDING ONE CENT. 1370 00:57:00,851 --> 00:57:02,920 MERLIN... 1371 00:57:02,953 --> 00:57:04,722 MR. GREEN AND I HAVE COMPLETE CONFIDENCE IN YOU. 1372 00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:07,124 FROM NOW ON, MAN-POWERED FLIGHT IS COMPLETELY IN YOUR HANDS. 1373 00:57:07,157 --> 00:57:08,993 THIS WAY, THIS WAY, MR. GREEN. 1374 00:57:09,026 --> 00:57:11,496 HA HA HA. 1375 00:57:13,864 --> 00:57:15,966 MERLIN, WHY DON'T YOU HURRY UP AND INVENT THAT PLANE 1376 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,702 SO YOU CAN TAKE ME TO THE MOVIE? 1377 00:57:17,735 --> 00:57:19,103 IT'S NOT AS EASY AS THAT. 1378 00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:20,538 WHY NOT? 1379 00:57:20,571 --> 00:57:22,206 JENNIFER, CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT A MAN'S UP AGAINST 1380 00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:24,575 WHEN HE TRIES TO FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER? 1381 00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:25,676 STANLEY, GIVE ME THE BIRD. 1382 00:57:25,710 --> 00:57:27,845 [imitating birdcall] 1383 00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:31,115 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 1384 00:57:31,148 --> 00:57:33,818 I WANT THIS BIRD. 1385 00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:35,520 SEE HOW IT'S DESIGNED FOR FLIGHT? 1386 00:57:35,553 --> 00:57:36,386 LOOK AT THE BODY-- 1387 00:57:36,420 --> 00:57:38,723 STREAMLINED FOR CUTTING THROUGH THE AIR. 1388 00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:39,857 IT'S CUTE. 1389 00:57:39,890 --> 00:57:41,592 MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL ARE THE AIR CAVITIES 1390 00:57:41,626 --> 00:57:43,260 THAT MAKE A BIRD'S BONES VERY LIGHT. 1391 00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:45,863 MAN'S BONES ARE SOLID. 1392 00:57:45,896 --> 00:57:47,097 DON'T THE WINGS HELP, TOO? 1393 00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,265 OF COURSE THEY HELP. 1394 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:50,601 BUT MAN WAS DESIGNED FOR WALKING. 1395 00:57:50,635 --> 00:57:52,737 MAN MAYBE, BUT NOT WOMAN. 1396 00:57:52,770 --> 00:57:55,105 WALKING IN THESE SHOES IS TORTURE. 1397 00:57:55,139 --> 00:57:56,774 I MEAN BOTH MAN AND WOMAN. 1398 00:57:56,807 --> 00:57:58,976 CERTAINLY YOU WEREN'T DESIGNED FOR FLYING. 1399 00:57:59,009 --> 00:58:00,711 OF COURSE NOT. I HAVE NO WINGS. 1400 00:58:00,745 --> 00:58:02,112 NO WINGS AND HEAVY LEGS. 1401 00:58:02,146 --> 00:58:04,248 REALLY, MERLIN! 1402 00:58:04,281 --> 00:58:06,584 OH, NO, JEN, I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR LEGS PERSONALLY. 1403 00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:08,586 I MEANT MAN'S LEGS IN GENERAL. 1404 00:58:08,619 --> 00:58:10,588 OH. 1405 00:58:10,621 --> 00:58:13,123 BUT DO YOU THINK MY LEGS ARE TOO HEAVY? 1406 00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:14,525 OF COURSE NOT. 1407 00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:16,994 I THINK YOUR LEGS ARE... 1408 00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:20,097 HOW DID WE EVER GET INTO A DISCUSSION ON YOUR LEGS? 1409 00:58:20,130 --> 00:58:21,732 YOU WERE CRITICIZING MY FIGURE. 1410 00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:23,734 LOOK, JEN, ON THE GROUND, YOUR FIGURE IS GORGEOUS, 1411 00:58:23,768 --> 00:58:25,736 AND THAT BIRD'S IS RIDICULOUS. 1412 00:58:25,770 --> 00:58:28,138 BUT HIS WAS DESIGNED FOR FLYING, AND YOURS WASN'T. 1413 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:30,274 WELL, I JUST WON'T FLY THEN, THAT'S ALL. 1414 00:58:30,307 --> 00:58:32,142 WELL, SOMEONE'S GOT TO, 1415 00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:35,913 OR MIDVALE'S OUT $10 MILLION AND ONE FOOTBALL TEAM. 1416 00:58:35,946 --> 00:58:37,982 I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S POSSIBLE 1417 00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:39,984 AFTER WHAT YOU'VE JUST EXPLAINED. 1418 00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:42,119 AFTER ALL, MAN ISN'T STREAMLINED, 1419 00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:43,954 AND HE'S GOT CAVITIES IN HIS TEETH 1420 00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:45,122 INSTEAD OF HIS LEGS. 1421 00:58:45,155 --> 00:58:47,257 YOU'RE FORGETTING JUST ONE THING. 1422 00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:48,358 AND MAN DOESN'T HAVE WINGS? 1423 00:58:48,392 --> 00:58:52,262 NO, SOMETHING HE DOES HAVE-- A HIGHLY DEVELOPED BRAIN. 1424 00:58:52,296 --> 00:58:56,133 MAN'S BRAIN IS ALWAYS ENABLING HIM TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. 1425 00:58:56,166 --> 00:58:58,268 MERLIN, I CAN JUST SEE YOU NOW, 1426 00:58:58,302 --> 00:59:00,738 FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, SOARING THROUGH THE SKIES! 1427 00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:03,674 WELL, NO, JEN, I WON'T BE DOING THE FLYING. 1428 00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:04,842 YOU WON'T? 1429 00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,010 WHO WILL? I DON'T KNOW. 1430 00:59:06,043 --> 00:59:07,277 WE'LL PROBABLY GET A FOOTBALL PLAYER-- 1431 00:59:07,311 --> 00:59:10,080 SOMEONE WITH AS MUCH MUSCLE AND AS LITTLE WEIGHT AS POSSIBLE. 1432 00:59:10,114 --> 00:59:12,750 I JUST PROVIDE THE BRAINPOWER. 1433 00:59:12,783 --> 00:59:16,253 HMM, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG. 1434 00:59:16,286 --> 00:59:18,255 [chattering] 1435 00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:22,827 THAT'S IT, 1436 00:59:22,860 --> 00:59:24,962 THE CUBE OF THE VELOCITY. 1437 00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:26,263 THANK YOU, STANLEY. 1438 00:59:26,296 --> 00:59:29,133 [screeching] 1439 00:59:29,166 --> 00:59:31,869 (Judge Holmsby) SO, GENTLEMEN, THE MIDVALE FOOTBALL TEAM 1440 00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,338 IS ONCE AGAIN THREATENED BY MR. DEARBORNE. 1441 00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:35,873 [all booing] 1442 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:39,610 ONCE AGAIN, ONCE AGAIN, THE FATE OF THE TEAM 1443 00:59:39,644 --> 00:59:42,613 IS IN THE HANDS AND THE BRAIN OF MERLIN JONES. 1444 00:59:42,647 --> 00:59:45,382 [all cheering] 1445 00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:47,752 FOR NOW, I CAN REVEAL TO YOU 1446 00:59:47,785 --> 00:59:50,154 THAT MERLIN IS WORKING ON A SECRET PROJECT, 1447 00:59:50,187 --> 00:59:51,756 WHICH, IF SUCCESSFUL, 1448 00:59:51,789 --> 00:59:54,992 WILL BRING TO MIDVALE AN ENDOWMENT OF $10 MILLION. 1449 00:59:55,025 --> 00:59:56,293 [all whistling] 1450 00:59:56,326 --> 00:59:57,995 AND WITH $10 MILLION, 1451 00:59:58,028 --> 01:00:01,265 WE CAN UTTERLY REJECT MR. ASTERBILT'S $1 MILLION, 1452 01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:03,133 AND THE CONDITIONS THAT GO WITH IT, 1453 01:00:03,167 --> 01:00:05,836 AND PRESERVE FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE FOREVER. 1454 01:00:05,870 --> 01:00:09,073 [all cheering] 1455 01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:09,940 HOWEVER, 1456 01:00:09,974 --> 01:00:12,276 MERLIN IS NOW AT A STAGE IN THIS PROJECT 1457 01:00:12,309 --> 01:00:15,145 WHERE HE DOES NEED THE ASSISTANCE OF ONE MAN. 1458 01:00:15,179 --> 01:00:17,882 AND I BELIEVE THE MU MUS SHOULD HAVE THE HONOR 1459 01:00:17,915 --> 01:00:19,149 OF PROVIDING THAT MAN. 1460 01:00:19,183 --> 01:00:22,887 [all cheering] 1461 01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,422 AS HEAD OF THIS FRATERNITY, I VOLUNTEER THE SERVICES 1462 01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:27,424 OF EVERY SINGLE MU MU IN THIS ROOM! 1463 01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:29,159 [all cheering] 1464 01:00:29,193 --> 01:00:31,428 FINE, HAYWOOD, FINE. 1465 01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:34,031 NOW, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS DECIDE WHICH ONE IT WILL BE. 1466 01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:35,432 MERLIN HAS THE NAMES OF FOUR MEN 1467 01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:37,301 WHOM HE THINKS HAVE THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS. 1468 01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:38,435 CALL THEM OUT, MERLIN. 1469 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:39,904 THEN WE'LL DRAW STRAWS 1470 01:00:39,937 --> 01:00:41,672 AND SEE WHO THE LUCKY ONE WILL BE. 1471 01:00:41,706 --> 01:00:43,874 YES, SIR. JIM ANDREWS. 1472 01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:48,245 LEON. 1473 01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:51,882 [all cheering] 1474 01:00:51,916 --> 01:00:53,884 A.J. COBB. 1475 01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:54,885 ME?! 1476 01:00:54,919 --> 01:00:56,020 [all cheering] 1477 01:00:56,053 --> 01:00:57,121 AND, FINALLY, 1478 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,122 NORMAN! 1479 01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,124 [all cheering] 1480 01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:02,893 HEY, MERLIN, WHAT IS THIS SECRET PROJECT? 1481 01:01:02,927 --> 01:01:03,894 MAN-POWERED FLIGHT-- 1482 01:01:03,928 --> 01:01:06,296 A FLYING MACHINE POWERED ONLY BY A MAN'S MUSCLES. 1483 01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:08,032 IT'LL NEVER WORK. MAYBE NOT. 1484 01:01:08,065 --> 01:01:09,099 BUT WE'RE GONNA TRY. 1485 01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:10,300 WE? 1486 01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:11,435 SURE. 1487 01:01:11,468 --> 01:01:13,938 ME AND WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU WINS THE JOB OF FLYING IT. 1488 01:01:13,971 --> 01:01:15,405 FLYING IT?! 1489 01:01:15,439 --> 01:01:17,708 (Leon) YOU MEAN ONE OF US IS GONNA FLY IT? 1490 01:01:17,742 --> 01:01:19,777 I DON'T THINK I'M THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB. 1491 01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:20,911 I GOT THIS SINUS CONDITION. 1492 01:01:20,945 --> 01:01:22,146 YEAH, AND I GOT DANDRUFF. 1493 01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,281 OH, REALLY, I DO. LOOK. 1494 01:01:24,314 --> 01:01:25,883 JUST ONE MOMENT. 1495 01:01:25,916 --> 01:01:28,152 MU MU HONOR IS AT STAKE. 1496 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,420 WE'LL GO AHEAD AND DRAW STRAWS. 1497 01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:31,756 THE LONGEST ONE LOSES. 1498 01:01:31,789 --> 01:01:33,157 [chuckles] I MEAN WINS-- 1499 01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:34,358 WINS THE HONOR OF FLYING. 1500 01:01:34,391 --> 01:01:35,893 [indistinct chatter] 1501 01:01:35,926 --> 01:01:37,294 QUIET. QUIET, GENTLEMEN! 1502 01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:38,195 QUIET. 1503 01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:40,164 REMEMBER, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MOMENT. 1504 01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:42,199 LINE UP, PLEASE. 1505 01:01:47,537 --> 01:01:49,807 NORMAN. 1506 01:02:08,926 --> 01:02:10,828 [laughing] 1507 01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:15,199 JIM. 1508 01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:27,477 A.J. 1509 01:02:43,193 --> 01:02:45,229 LEON. 1510 01:02:55,405 --> 01:02:59,776 [all cheering, shouting indistinctly] 1511 01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:03,848 QUIET! FELLAS, QUIET! QUIET! 1512 01:03:03,881 --> 01:03:05,482 MY BOY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW 1513 01:03:05,515 --> 01:03:07,584 THAT MIDVALE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER AND APPRECIATE 1514 01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:08,919 WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO, 1515 01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:11,188 NO MATTER WHETHER IT'S SUCCESSFUL OR NOT. 1516 01:03:11,221 --> 01:03:13,457 IN FACT, I INTEND TO INTRODUCE A RESOLUTION 1517 01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:14,591 TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS, 1518 01:03:14,624 --> 01:03:16,560 ASKING THEM TO NAME THE STADIUM AFTER YOU. 1519 01:03:16,593 --> 01:03:18,896 NO FOOLING? 1520 01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:20,564 NO FOOLING. 1521 01:03:20,597 --> 01:03:23,467 JUST THINK, 90,000 CHEERING STUDENTS IN YOUR STADIUM-- 1522 01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:26,336 THE LEON MEMORIAL STADIUM. 1523 01:03:26,370 --> 01:03:27,504 MEMORIAL STADIUM?! 1524 01:03:27,537 --> 01:03:29,439 [laughter] 1525 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:31,175 WELL, UH, I JUST CALLED IT 1526 01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:32,442 THE FIRST THING THAT CAME INTO MY HEAD. 1527 01:03:32,476 --> 01:03:34,411 YOU CAN CALL IT ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE. 1528 01:03:34,444 --> 01:03:36,180 [whimpers] I WANT TO CALL IT QUITS. 1529 01:03:36,213 --> 01:03:37,915 [all awing] 1530 01:03:37,948 --> 01:03:40,450 I DON'T THINK SO... 1531 01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:41,886 ARE YOU READY, LEON? 1532 01:03:41,919 --> 01:03:44,321 I SUPPOSE SO. 1533 01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:47,457 OH, LEON, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL. 1534 01:03:47,491 --> 01:03:49,193 I DO? OF COURSE YOU DO. 1535 01:03:49,226 --> 01:03:51,328 MY BOY, THIS IS THE LAST STEP IN YOUR TRAINING. 1536 01:03:51,361 --> 01:03:52,196 I WANT YOU TO SEE A FILM 1537 01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:54,198 OF VARIOUS FLYING MACHINES IN ACTION. 1538 01:03:54,231 --> 01:03:55,465 LIGHTS, PLEASE, JENNIFER. 1539 01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:57,868 THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE TO LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES. 1540 01:03:57,902 --> 01:04:00,070 SOME OF THESE FLYING MACHINES ARE MOTOR-DRIVEN, 1541 01:04:00,104 --> 01:04:02,940 SO, OF COURSE, CAN'T BE USED IN MAN-POWERED FLIGHT. 1542 01:04:02,973 --> 01:04:05,409 STANLEY? 1543 01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:06,643 BUT WE'RE INTERESTED 1544 01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:09,313 IN THE SCIENTIFIC THINKING THAT WENT INTO DESIGNING THEM-- 1545 01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,848 THE AERODYNAMICS, THE THEORY OF FLIGHT. 1546 01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:17,922 (Merlin) ANY FOOL CAN SEE THIS WILL NEVER GET OFF THE GROUND. 1547 01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,990 CAN'T YOU, LEON? [laughing] SURE. 1548 01:04:20,024 --> 01:04:23,327 AT LEAST THIS FELLA KNEW THAT THE HEAVIER THE LOAD, 1549 01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,329 THE MORE POWER NEEDED FOR LIFTING, 1550 01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:27,164 SO HE KEPT THE WEIGHT DOWN. 1551 01:04:31,235 --> 01:04:33,370 [laughing] KEPT EVERYTHING ELSE DOWN, TOO. 1552 01:04:35,072 --> 01:04:38,976 I WONDER IF MR. GREEN WOULD OKAY ROCKETS. 1553 01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:47,384 OH, GUESS NOT. 1554 01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:50,154 ANY FLYING MACHINE NEEDS THE LIGHTEST 1555 01:04:50,187 --> 01:04:53,390 AND STRONGEST MATERIALS POSSIBLE. 1556 01:05:00,664 --> 01:05:02,566 LIGHT ENOUGH TO LIFT 1557 01:05:02,599 --> 01:05:05,369 AND STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD TOGETHER UNDER PRESSURE. 1558 01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:11,108 THIS IS NEITHER. 1559 01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:15,212 NOW WE COME TO THE ORNITHOPTIC APPROACH TO FLYING. 1560 01:05:19,649 --> 01:05:21,585 TRYING TO FLY BY IMITATING 1561 01:05:21,618 --> 01:05:24,188 THE UP-AND-DOWN MOVEMENT OF A BIRD'S WINGS, 1562 01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:25,322 NOT UNLIKE TRYING TO SWIM 1563 01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,158 BY IMITATING THE WIGGLE OF A FISH'S TAIL. 1564 01:05:28,192 --> 01:05:29,659 THESE FELLAS JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND 1565 01:05:29,693 --> 01:05:31,695 THE FUNDAMENTALS OF FLYING. 1566 01:05:38,002 --> 01:05:42,106 NOW WE SEE THE APPLICATION OF SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES. 1567 01:05:48,045 --> 01:05:50,580 THIS WING STRUCTURE REPRESENTS A GREAT ADVANCE. 1568 01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,724 [laughing] 1569 01:06:00,757 --> 01:06:03,493 BUT IT ISN'T QUITE PERFECT. 1570 01:06:05,162 --> 01:06:07,397 ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS DIFFERENT, THAT FLYING MACHINE 1571 01:06:07,431 --> 01:06:09,166 IS ACTUALLY VERY MUCH LIKE OURS. 1572 01:06:11,635 --> 01:06:13,437 WE'LL LOOK AROUND AND SEE IF WE CAN FIND A CLIFF LIKE THAT 1573 01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:14,471 TO LAUNCH YOU FROM, 1574 01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:17,374 TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE AIR CURRENTS. 1575 01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:29,453 I GUESS THERE WERE NO AIR CURRENTS THAT DAY. 1576 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:30,587 IT SHOULD'VE FLOWN. 1577 01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:32,189 LIGHTS. 1578 01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:35,759 THE IMPORTAN THING, LEON, THAT WE'VE LEARNED IS-- 1579 01:06:35,792 --> 01:06:37,227 LEON? 1580 01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:39,329 LEON?! 1581 01:06:39,363 --> 01:06:40,797 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?! 1582 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,099 I'M TAKING OFF, 1583 01:06:42,132 --> 01:06:43,767 BUT WITH BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND. 1584 01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,203 DIDN'T YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM THE FILM? 1585 01:06:46,236 --> 01:06:48,372 SURE. I LEARNED WHAT KIND OF A BIRD I AM-- 1586 01:06:48,405 --> 01:06:50,374 CHICKEN. 1587 01:06:50,407 --> 01:06:52,376 [Stanley chattering] 1588 01:06:55,645 --> 01:06:57,747 YOU KNOW, LEON, THIS MAN-POWERED FLIGHT PROJECT 1589 01:06:57,781 --> 01:07:00,150 IS MAKING YOU THE HERO OF THE CAMPUS. 1590 01:07:00,184 --> 01:07:01,751 ALL THE GIRLS SIGH WHENEVER YOUR NAME IS MENTIONED. 1591 01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:03,720 THEY DO? 1592 01:07:03,753 --> 01:07:05,622 AND SO DO I. 1593 01:07:05,655 --> 01:07:06,723 YOU DO? 1594 01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:07,724 YOU DO? 1595 01:07:07,757 --> 01:07:08,825 (Jennifer) JUST THINK, 1596 01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:10,460 A MAN FLYIING UNDER HIS OWN POWER. 1597 01:07:10,494 --> 01:07:12,629 AH, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT. 1598 01:07:12,662 --> 01:07:13,763 IT'S FOR THE BIRDS. 1599 01:07:13,797 --> 01:07:15,665 OH, IT'S SUCH A ROMANTIC IDEA, 1600 01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,068 LIKE THE CONQUEST OF SPACE, 1601 01:07:18,102 --> 01:07:19,769 LIKE THOSE ADORABLE ASTRONAUTS, 1602 01:07:19,803 --> 01:07:22,239 LIKE THE PIONEERS OF THE AMERICAN WEST, 1603 01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:23,740 LIKE THE BOLD EXPLORERS 1604 01:07:23,773 --> 01:07:25,475 WHO FIRST CHARTED THE POLAR REGIONS. 1605 01:07:25,509 --> 01:07:27,077 YOUR NAME WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY 1606 01:07:27,111 --> 01:07:29,246 ALONGSIDE THE OTHER GREAT ONES--COLUMBUS, 1607 01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,481 LINDBERGH, AND THAT LITTLE DOG 1608 01:07:31,515 --> 01:07:33,350 THE RUSSIANS FIRST SHOT INTO SPACE. 1609 01:07:33,383 --> 01:07:34,518 WHAT WAS THE LITTLE DOG'S NAME? 1610 01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:36,286 I DON'T REMEMBER. 1611 01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:39,223 BUT YOUR NAME WILL BE REMEMBERED FOREVER. 1612 01:07:39,256 --> 01:07:40,490 IT WILL? 1613 01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:43,727 YOU MEAN LIKE COLUMBUS? 1614 01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:45,229 AND LINDBERGH? 1615 01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:48,098 AND THAT LITTLE RUSSIAN DOG? 1616 01:07:48,132 --> 01:07:49,766 WHEN DO WE TAKE OFF? TOMORROW. 1617 01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:50,767 THAT'S TOO SOON. 1618 01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:51,835 IT'S ONLY A TEST FLIGHT 1619 01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:54,304 TO GIVE YOU CONFIDENCE AND EXPERIENCE. 1620 01:07:54,338 --> 01:07:55,672 FOR THE OFFICIAL FLIGHT, OF COURSE, 1621 01:07:55,705 --> 01:07:57,107 YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE OFF UNDER YOUR OWN POWER. 1622 01:07:57,141 --> 01:07:59,143 BUT TOMORROW WE'RE GOING TO LAUNCH YOU 1623 01:07:59,176 --> 01:08:01,245 FROM THE TOP OF A CAR GOING 90 MILES AN HOUR. 1624 01:08:01,278 --> 01:08:03,113 90 MILES AN HOUR?! 1625 01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:06,383 YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF GOING 90 MILES AN HOUR, NOT YOU. 1626 01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:09,119 WELL, IT'S JUST THAT IT'S ILLEGAL, A-AND IT'S-- 1627 01:08:09,153 --> 01:08:10,854 YES, I'M AFRAID. 1628 01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:12,489 AW, DON'T LET THE 90-MILE-AN-HOUR PART SCARE YOU. 1629 01:08:12,522 --> 01:08:13,490 WE'LL LAUNCH YOU AT 60. 1630 01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:14,591 SMILE, LEON. 1631 01:08:14,624 --> 01:08:16,660 YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN SENTENCED TO DEATH. 1632 01:08:16,693 --> 01:08:18,528 WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. 1633 01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:20,130 LEON, I'M GOING TO ELIMINATE YOUR FEARS. 1634 01:08:20,164 --> 01:08:21,765 YOU'RE CALLING THE WHOLE THING OFF? 1635 01:08:21,798 --> 01:08:24,368 NO, MERLIN'S GOING TO PREPARE YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY. 1636 01:08:24,401 --> 01:08:26,336 CONSIDER THE BUMBLEBEE. 1637 01:08:26,370 --> 01:08:28,738 NOW SCIENTISTS KNOW THAT IT'S AERODYNAMICALLY UNSOUND 1638 01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:30,207 AND SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO FLY. 1639 01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:31,508 BUT THE BUMBLEBEE DOESN'T KNOW IT. 1640 01:08:31,541 --> 01:08:32,742 SO HE GOES AND FLIES ANYWAY. 1641 01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:33,777 AND THE BIRD DOESN'T WORRY 1642 01:08:33,810 --> 01:08:35,379 ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HE CAN GET OFF THE GROUND. 1643 01:08:35,412 --> 01:08:37,614 HE JUST TAKES OFF AND FLIES. 1644 01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,183 AND MERLIN WANTS YOU TO THINK LIKE A BIRD. 1645 01:08:39,216 --> 01:08:41,518 HOW DO I DO THAT? WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU. 1646 01:08:41,551 --> 01:08:44,254 YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP HERE, AND I'LL SING TO YOU ALL NIGHT. 1647 01:08:44,288 --> 01:08:46,256 OH. AND WILL YOU HOLD MY HAND? 1648 01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:48,658 OH, I'M NOT GOING TO BE HERE. I'LL SING TO YOU ON A RECORD. 1649 01:08:48,692 --> 01:08:50,760 OH, I SEE. IT'S SLEEP LEARNING, LEON, 1650 01:08:50,794 --> 01:08:54,364 THE SAME TECHNIQUE THAT GOT YOU AN "A" IN ENGLISH LIT. 1651 01:08:54,398 --> 01:08:55,932 THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN TO THINK LIKE A BIRD. 1652 01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:59,336 AND TOMORROW YOU'LL BE THE FIRST MAN TO FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER. 1653 01:08:59,369 --> 01:09:01,771 [chattering] THERE YOU ARE, LEON. NOW, TO BED WE GO. 1654 01:09:01,805 --> 01:09:05,141 JUST RELAX, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. 1655 01:09:08,278 --> 01:09:09,846 JUST EMPTY YOUR MIND. 1656 01:09:11,948 --> 01:09:14,551 THAT'S IT. VERY GOOD. 1657 01:09:14,584 --> 01:09:15,785 I CAN SEE BY THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, 1658 01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:17,487 YOU DON'T HAVE A THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD. 1659 01:09:17,521 --> 01:09:19,523 JUST KEEP IT THAT WAY. 1660 01:09:19,556 --> 01:09:22,626 YOUR HEAD IS AN EMPTY CUP, 1661 01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,529 WHICH WE WILL FILL WITH THE THOUGHTS WE WANT IN IT. 1662 01:09:25,562 --> 01:09:26,663 GOOD NIGHT, LEON. 1663 01:09:26,696 --> 01:09:28,164 PLEASANT DREAMS. 1664 01:09:32,702 --> 01:09:35,205 (Jennifer on record player) HELLO, LEON. 1665 01:09:35,239 --> 01:09:37,674 I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU. 1666 01:09:37,707 --> 01:09:39,943 JUST SAY TO YOURSELF, 1667 01:09:39,976 --> 01:09:43,647 "I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK." 1668 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:48,618 * NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY 1669 01:09:48,652 --> 01:09:52,756 * I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH 1670 01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:55,925 * IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY 1671 01:09:55,959 --> 01:09:59,663 * AS SWIFTLY AS AN ARROW 1672 01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:03,667 * AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW 1673 01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,602 * I CAN FLY 1674 01:10:05,635 --> 01:10:07,937 * I CAN FLY 1675 01:10:07,971 --> 01:10:11,575 * I CAN FLY * 1676 01:10:32,796 --> 01:10:35,565 [birds honking] 1677 01:10:58,555 --> 01:11:01,291 [honking continues] 1678 01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:05,395 [honks] 1679 01:11:10,334 --> 01:11:12,436 [pigeon cooing] 1680 01:11:12,469 --> 01:11:14,571 [squawking] 1681 01:11:27,083 --> 01:11:29,719 [crow cawing] 1682 01:11:31,621 --> 01:11:33,890 [caws] 1683 01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:43,600 OH. 1684 01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:53,076 OKAY, LEON, HERE WE GO. 1685 01:11:53,109 --> 01:11:54,344 UH, JENNIFER? 1686 01:11:54,378 --> 01:11:55,345 YES, LEON? 1687 01:11:55,379 --> 01:11:56,880 SING TO ME AGAIN. 1688 01:11:56,913 --> 01:12:00,784 ALL RIGHT, LEON. 1689 01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:03,787 * I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK 1690 01:12:03,820 --> 01:12:07,524 * NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY * 1691 01:12:07,557 --> 01:12:10,527 * I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH 1692 01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,563 * IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY * 1693 01:12:13,597 --> 01:12:16,700 [both singing] * AS SWIFTLY AS AN ARROW 1694 01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:19,836 * AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW 1695 01:12:19,869 --> 01:12:21,438 * I CAN FLY 1696 01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:22,839 * I CAN FLY 1697 01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:25,709 * I CAN FLY 1698 01:12:27,944 --> 01:12:29,946 HE'S OKAY NOW. 1699 01:12:29,979 --> 01:12:31,815 STANLEY, BE SURE AND TRIP THE RELEASE [engine turning] 1700 01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:33,850 AS SOON AS I PUT ON THE BRAKE. 1701 01:12:37,454 --> 01:12:40,490 * I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK 1702 01:12:40,524 --> 01:12:43,460 * NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY 1703 01:12:43,493 --> 01:12:45,629 25... 1704 01:12:45,662 --> 01:12:48,565 30... 1705 01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:49,766 35... 1706 01:12:49,799 --> 01:12:51,568 40... 1707 01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:56,940 (Leon) * I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK 1708 01:12:56,973 --> 01:12:59,709 * NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY 1709 01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:02,479 * I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH 1710 01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:04,448 * IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY 1711 01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:06,583 52... 1712 01:13:06,616 --> 01:13:07,751 54... 1713 01:13:07,784 --> 01:13:10,420 * I CAN FLY, I CAN FLY 1714 01:13:10,454 --> 01:13:12,789 60! 1715 01:13:12,822 --> 01:13:14,090 [brakes squeal] WHEE! 1716 01:13:16,460 --> 01:13:17,927 YOU'VE DONE IT! YOU'VE DONE IT! 1717 01:13:21,498 --> 01:13:25,569 * I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK 1718 01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:29,639 * NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY 1719 01:13:29,673 --> 01:13:33,577 * I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH 1720 01:13:33,610 --> 01:13:37,080 * IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY 1721 01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:40,850 * AS SWIFTLY AS AN ARROW * 1722 01:13:40,884 --> 01:13:45,188 * AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW 1723 01:13:45,221 --> 01:13:46,556 * I CAN FLY 1724 01:13:46,590 --> 01:13:48,725 * I CAN FLY 1725 01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:52,195 * I CAN FLY 1726 01:13:52,228 --> 01:13:55,231 MERLIN, CAN I ASK A DUMB QUESTION? SURE. 1727 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,667 HOW DOES HE LAND? 1728 01:13:57,701 --> 01:13:59,969 THAT'S THE ONE BUG I HAVEN'T IRONED OUT YET. 1729 01:14:00,003 --> 01:14:03,973 * I CAN FLY 1730 01:14:04,007 --> 01:14:05,575 [breathing heavily] 1731 01:14:05,609 --> 01:14:07,110 I CAN FLY. 1732 01:14:07,143 --> 01:14:08,978 I CAN... 1733 01:14:09,012 --> 01:14:10,580 FLY? 1734 01:14:10,614 --> 01:14:12,582 FLY?! 1735 01:14:12,616 --> 01:14:14,884 I CAN'T FLY! 1736 01:14:14,918 --> 01:14:16,753 HE'S FALLING! 1737 01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:31,801 DON'T PANIC! LAND ON THIS! 1738 01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:35,138 RIGHT THERE, MERLIN. 1739 01:14:35,171 --> 01:14:36,906 RIGHT THERE, RIGHT--NO. HEY! 1740 01:14:36,940 --> 01:14:38,174 OVER HERE, MERLIN! 1741 01:14:39,543 --> 01:14:41,811 THAT'S THE WRONG WAY! 1742 01:14:41,845 --> 01:14:43,246 THIS WAY! 1743 01:14:43,279 --> 01:14:45,749 GET THAT THING UNDER ME! 1744 01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,751 MERLIN, HELP ME! QUICK! 1745 01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:49,719 FASTER. 1746 01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:52,556 GO FASTER. FASTER, FASTER, FASTER! 1747 01:14:52,589 --> 01:14:54,691 (Merlin) I'M GOING QUICK. DON'T WORRY! 1748 01:14:54,724 --> 01:14:56,726 RUN FASTER, MERLIN. 1749 01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:57,827 COME ON! 1750 01:14:57,861 --> 01:15:00,029 RUN FASTER, PLEASE! 1751 01:15:00,063 --> 01:15:02,999 TH--THAT'S IT, MERLIN. 1752 01:15:03,032 --> 01:15:04,568 BUT RUN FASTER! 1753 01:15:04,601 --> 01:15:06,235 FASTER! 1754 01:15:06,269 --> 01:15:08,104 FASTER! 1755 01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:10,974 OH! 1756 01:15:11,007 --> 01:15:12,141 UNH! 1757 01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:15,979 HELP! 1758 01:15:16,012 --> 01:15:18,081 HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! 1759 01:15:18,114 --> 01:15:19,883 LOOK OUT FOR THE HOG WALLOW! 1760 01:15:19,916 --> 01:15:22,218 WHAT HOG WALLOW?! 1761 01:15:22,251 --> 01:15:23,820 OH! 1762 01:15:23,853 --> 01:15:28,091 AAAH! 1763 01:15:28,124 --> 01:15:29,626 OH, LEON! 1764 01:15:29,659 --> 01:15:31,260 [laughing] [pigs squealing] 1765 01:15:41,638 --> 01:15:43,139 LEON, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1766 01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:46,009 SAY SOMETHING, LEON. WHY DOESN'T HE SAY ANYTHING? 1767 01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:49,145 LEON, SAY SOMETHING. ALL RIGHT, I WILL. 1768 01:15:49,178 --> 01:15:51,280 I DON'T WANT A MEMORIAL STADIUM. 1769 01:15:51,314 --> 01:15:52,749 I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN IN HISTORY 1770 01:15:52,782 --> 01:15:55,018 WITH COLUMBUS AND THE PIONEERS 1771 01:15:55,051 --> 01:15:57,821 AND THAT LITTLE RUSSIAN DOG WHOSE NAME YOU CAN'T REMEMBER. 1772 01:15:57,854 --> 01:15:59,122 I QUIT! 1773 01:15:59,155 --> 01:16:00,957 K-W-I-T, "KWIT"! 1774 01:16:00,990 --> 01:16:03,259 [groans] 1775 01:16:03,292 --> 01:16:04,728 [spits] 1776 01:16:04,761 --> 01:16:06,095 OH, MRS. GOSSETT, ARE YOU SURE 1777 01:16:06,129 --> 01:16:07,697 THERE'VE BEEN NO CALLS FOR ME? 1778 01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,265 THAT'S THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE ASKED IN THE LAST HOUR. 1779 01:16:09,298 --> 01:16:11,968 THIS IS GOOD. BEST EATIN' I HAD SINCE I LEFT NEW ENGLAND. 1780 01:16:12,001 --> 01:16:13,603 THANK YOU. PLEASE HAVE SOME MORE. 1781 01:16:13,637 --> 01:16:15,605 UH, NO, THANKS. I HAD THREE HELPINGS ALREADY. 1782 01:16:15,639 --> 01:16:17,006 FOUR. 1783 01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:19,008 OH, OH, BUT WHO COUNTS? [laughing] 1784 01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:21,310 [doorbell rings] UH, I'LL GET IT. 1785 01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:33,823 THE TEST-- HOW DID IT GO? 1786 01:16:35,191 --> 01:16:38,828 IT WASN'T THAT BAD... 1787 01:16:38,862 --> 01:16:40,296 WAS IT, JENNIFER? 1788 01:16:40,329 --> 01:16:41,430 BUT... 1789 01:16:41,464 --> 01:16:44,267 MERLIN, THE IMPORTANT THING IS, YOU MUST NOT GIVE UP. 1790 01:16:44,300 --> 01:16:46,402 IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN FLYING WITHIN TWO DAYS, 1791 01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:48,404 MIDVALE COLLEGE LOSES $10 MILLION 1792 01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:49,839 AND ITS FOOTBALL TEAM. 1793 01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:51,074 JUDGE, TRY AND UNDERSTAND. 1794 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:54,143 I TRIED TO GET AROUND THE LAWS OF AERODYNAMICS AND FAILED. 1795 01:16:54,177 --> 01:16:55,779 THE PROJECT WAS DOOMED FROM THE START! 1796 01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:58,014 [whispering] SHH, QUIET, MERLIN. 1797 01:16:58,047 --> 01:16:59,949 WE DON'T WANT MR. GREEN TO GET DISCOURAGED. 1798 01:16:59,983 --> 01:17:01,985 [whispering] WHAT ABOUT ME? 1799 01:17:02,018 --> 01:17:03,853 I'M DISCOURAGED UP TO HERE. 1800 01:17:03,887 --> 01:17:05,021 OH, BUT THAT'S DIFFERENT. 1801 01:17:05,054 --> 01:17:07,223 DON'T YOU THINK EINSTEIN WAS DISCOURAGED 1802 01:17:07,256 --> 01:17:10,293 BEFORE HE DISCOVERED... WHATEVER IT WAS HE DISCOVERED. 1803 01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,428 BUT DID HE GIVE UP? NO, HE DID NOT. 1804 01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:15,031 HE KEPT RIGHT ON UNTIL HE DISCOVERED 1805 01:17:15,064 --> 01:17:17,000 W-W-WHATEVER IT WAS HE DISCOVERED. 1806 01:17:17,033 --> 01:17:21,137 JUDGE, LISTEN, "A," THE TEST FLIGHT WAS A BUST. 1807 01:17:21,170 --> 01:17:24,373 "B," LEON QUIT. "C," I QUIT. 1808 01:17:25,909 --> 01:17:27,143 I'M SORRY, JUDGE. 1809 01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:28,712 WAIT A MINUTE, JENNIFER. 1810 01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:30,113 IT'S UP TO YOU NOW. 1811 01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,748 YOU MUST GET MERLIN BACK ON THE TRACK. 1812 01:17:31,781 --> 01:17:34,718 [whispering] BUT I COULDN'T POSSIBLY-- 1813 01:17:34,751 --> 01:17:37,420 LISTEN, BEHIND EVERY MAN WHO EVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING, 1814 01:17:37,453 --> 01:17:40,223 THERE'S A WOMAN NAGGING HIM ON TO SUCCESS. 1815 01:17:40,256 --> 01:17:41,390 ON YOUR FAIR SHOULDERS 1816 01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:44,393 RESTS THE FORTUNE OF MIDVALE COLLEGE. 1817 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,996 YOU MUST PERSUADE MERLIN NOT TO GIVE UP. 1818 01:17:47,030 --> 01:17:49,398 PERSUADE HIM? HOW? 1819 01:17:49,432 --> 01:17:52,401 GIRLS ARE BORN KNOWING HOW, ESPECIALLY THE PRETTY ONES. 1820 01:17:52,435 --> 01:17:54,771 (Merlin) COMING, JEN? 1821 01:17:54,804 --> 01:17:56,105 GOOD NIGHT, JUDGE. 1822 01:17:56,139 --> 01:17:57,807 GOOD NIGHT. 1823 01:18:06,215 --> 01:18:08,718 THIS IS THE FINEST CIGAR I EVER SMOKED. 1824 01:18:08,752 --> 01:18:09,986 I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT. 1825 01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:11,420 THOUGHT I HEARD MERLIN. WAS THAT MERLIN? 1826 01:18:11,454 --> 01:18:13,890 MERLIN? OH, MERLIN. 1827 01:18:13,923 --> 01:18:15,158 YES, THAT WAS MERLIN. 1828 01:18:15,191 --> 01:18:17,761 WELL, HOW DID THE TEST FLIGHT GO? 1829 01:18:17,794 --> 01:18:18,762 MARVELOUSLY. 1830 01:18:18,795 --> 01:18:20,764 IT WAS A SMASHING SUCCESS, 1831 01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,866 ABSOLUTELY SMASHING. 1832 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:26,302 WHAT MORE CAN I DO, JEN? I'VE TRIED AND FAILED. 1833 01:18:26,335 --> 01:18:29,438 QUITTERS NEVER WIN, AND WINNERS NEVER QUIT. 1834 01:18:29,472 --> 01:18:31,174 MAN CAN'T FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER. 1835 01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,176 LOOK, IF YOU LIKE, I CAN SHOW YOU MATHEMATICALLY 1836 01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:35,478 WHY THIS IS AERODYNAMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 1837 01:18:35,511 --> 01:18:37,313 I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THAT. 1838 01:18:37,346 --> 01:18:39,315 I JUST KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. 1839 01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:41,885 BUT GREAT MINDS THROUGHOUT THE AGES 1840 01:18:41,918 --> 01:18:43,753 HAVE TRIED TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM-- 1841 01:18:43,787 --> 01:18:46,956 ICARUS, LEONARDO DA VINCI. 1842 01:18:46,990 --> 01:18:50,126 AND NOW MERLIN JONES. 1843 01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:52,328 THAT'S YOU, DEAR. 1844 01:18:52,361 --> 01:18:54,497 NO, MAN-POWERED FLIGHT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 1845 01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:56,332 NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU. 1846 01:18:56,365 --> 01:18:58,234 THIS IS. 1847 01:18:58,267 --> 01:19:00,536 JEN, I'VE GOT TO FACE THE FACTS. 1848 01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:02,906 I DESIGNED THE BEST POSSIBLE FLYING MACHINE I COULD, 1849 01:19:02,939 --> 01:19:04,407 BUT IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. 1850 01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:08,144 AND WHY WASN'T IT GOOD ENOUGH? BECAUSE MAN ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH. 1851 01:19:08,177 --> 01:19:10,446 THEN WHY DON'T YOU MAKE MAN STRONGER. 1852 01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:12,281 JEN. 1853 01:19:12,315 --> 01:19:13,382 WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN. 1854 01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:15,551 YOU JUST PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT WITH YOUR DUMB QUESTION. 1855 01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,921 ON WHAT? 1856 01:19:20,556 --> 01:19:22,258 [growling] OH! 1857 01:19:22,291 --> 01:19:23,793 MERLIN! 1858 01:19:25,161 --> 01:19:26,329 OH! 1859 01:19:26,362 --> 01:19:27,897 MERLIN! 1860 01:19:27,931 --> 01:19:29,432 MERLIN, I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. 1861 01:19:29,465 --> 01:19:30,499 I WAS SCARED. 1862 01:19:30,533 --> 01:19:32,568 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING. 1863 01:19:32,601 --> 01:19:34,804 YOU DID JUST WHAT I WANTED YOU TO. 1864 01:19:34,838 --> 01:19:38,274 YOU MEAN YOU WANTED ME TO... I FRIGHTENED YOU. 1865 01:19:38,307 --> 01:19:40,944 AND THE FEAR SENT A SURGE OF ADRENALINE INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM 1866 01:19:40,977 --> 01:19:43,012 THE ADRENALINE MADE YOUR HEART BEAT FASTER 1867 01:19:43,046 --> 01:19:45,214 AND RELEASED SUGAR INTO YOUR CIRCULATORY SYSTEM, 1868 01:19:45,248 --> 01:19:47,450 PROVIDING YOU WITH A TEMPORARY SUPER ENERGY, 1869 01:19:47,483 --> 01:19:48,952 A SUPERSTRENGTH. 1870 01:19:48,985 --> 01:19:51,320 MERLIN, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT? 1871 01:19:51,354 --> 01:19:52,989 I'M FINE. DON'T YOU SEE, JEN? 1872 01:19:53,022 --> 01:19:55,458 IF YOU DID THE SAME THING NOW THAT THE MOMENT OF FEAR IS GONE, 1873 01:19:55,491 --> 01:19:57,460 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A FRACTION OF THE POWER IN YOUR PUNCH. 1874 01:19:57,493 --> 01:19:59,062 YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HURT ME AT ALL. 1875 01:19:59,095 --> 01:20:01,030 I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU. 1876 01:20:01,064 --> 01:20:02,598 JEN, WILL YOU TRY AND BE SCIENTIFIC FOR A MINUTE 1877 01:20:02,631 --> 01:20:04,901 AND NOT JUST FEMININE? 1878 01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:06,903 DON'T YOU SEE? ADRENALINE IS THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEM, 1879 01:20:06,936 --> 01:20:09,172 BECAUSE IT MAKES MEN STRONGER. 1880 01:20:09,205 --> 01:20:11,307 REMEMBER WHEN I DID THIS? 1881 01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,409 [growling] 1882 01:20:13,442 --> 01:20:15,411 STOP THAT! 1883 01:20:15,444 --> 01:20:17,180 LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE! 1884 01:20:17,213 --> 01:20:19,015 AAH! 1885 01:20:19,048 --> 01:20:22,485 I TRUST, YOUNG LADY, THAT BRUTE DIDN'T HURT YOU. 1886 01:20:22,518 --> 01:20:24,888 YOU HURT HIM! 1887 01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,229 OH! 1888 01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:34,463 YOU SEE, JEN? ADRENALINE AGAIN! 1889 01:20:34,497 --> 01:20:35,899 ANGER WORKS THE SAME WAY AS FEAR, 1890 01:20:35,932 --> 01:20:37,300 AND WITH ADRENALINE IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM, 1891 01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:39,468 YOU'RE AS STRONG AS AN OVERGROWN GORILLA. 1892 01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:42,071 MERLIN JONES. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN. 1893 01:20:42,105 --> 01:20:43,172 OH, BUT, MR. DEARBORNE-- 1894 01:20:43,206 --> 01:20:44,073 OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. 1895 01:20:44,107 --> 01:20:46,342 STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU FEMALE MONSTER, YOU. 1896 01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:47,343 BUT, MISTER-- 1897 01:20:47,376 --> 01:20:49,578 ONE STEP NEARER, AND I SHALL YELL FOR THE POLICE. 1898 01:20:49,612 --> 01:20:51,614 I JUST WANTED TO EXPLAIN. NO, NO! 1899 01:20:58,087 --> 01:20:59,055 [laughs] 1900 01:20:59,088 --> 01:21:00,756 COME ON, WE GOT WORK TO DO. 1901 01:21:04,627 --> 01:21:06,129 (Merlin) WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO 1902 01:21:06,162 --> 01:21:08,331 IS SYNTHESIZE AN ADRENALINE DERIVATIVE 1903 01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:10,633 THAT WON'T JUST GIVE A BURST OF SUPERSTRENGTH, 1904 01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:13,937 BUT WILL PRODUCE A SUSTAINED SURGE OF POWER. 1905 01:21:13,970 --> 01:21:16,639 BUT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ALMOST ALL NIGHT. 1906 01:21:16,672 --> 01:21:18,474 WOULDN'T BE EASIER TO MAKE A PERSON ANGRY? 1907 01:21:18,507 --> 01:21:19,943 BUT YOU COULDN'T KEEP HIM ANGRY, 1908 01:21:19,976 --> 01:21:21,444 ESPECIALLY AFTER HE WERE AIRBORNE. 1909 01:21:21,477 --> 01:21:24,180 NOW, THEN... 1910 01:21:24,213 --> 01:21:27,583 LIQUID STRENGTH. 1911 01:21:27,616 --> 01:21:29,318 NOW, LET'S SEE IF IT WORKS. 1912 01:21:29,352 --> 01:21:31,320 OH, NO! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE IT. 1913 01:21:31,354 --> 01:21:34,590 THAT'S STANLEY'S JOB, ISN'T IT, STANLEY? 1914 01:21:37,326 --> 01:21:39,328 YOU SEE? HE LIKES IT. 1915 01:21:46,102 --> 01:21:49,072 [growling loudly] 1916 01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:14,430 [grunting loudly] 1917 01:22:14,463 --> 01:22:17,066 LOOK AT THAT. 1918 01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:20,103 [accordion noises] 1919 01:22:21,737 --> 01:22:24,440 ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL? 1920 01:22:27,543 --> 01:22:30,346 [metal warping] 1921 01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:32,715 [chattering wildly] 1922 01:22:32,748 --> 01:22:36,285 THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, STANLEY. YOU PROVED YOUR POINT. 1923 01:22:36,319 --> 01:22:38,354 STANLEY! PUT THAT DOWN AT ONCE! 1924 01:22:38,387 --> 01:22:40,423 [growling] 1925 01:22:46,562 --> 01:22:49,565 [chattering wildly] 1926 01:22:49,598 --> 01:22:52,101 WELL, ANYWAY, THIS MEANS THAT WITH LIQUID STRENGTH, 1927 01:22:52,135 --> 01:22:53,469 MAN-POWERED FLIGHT WILL WORK. 1928 01:22:53,502 --> 01:22:55,171 I'LL CALL THE JUDGE AND TELL HIM 1929 01:22:55,204 --> 01:22:56,739 TO HAVE DARIUS GREEN ON THE FIELD IN THE MORNING 1930 01:22:56,772 --> 01:22:58,274 AND TO MAKE SURE HE BRINGS HIS CHECKBOOK WITH HIM. 1931 01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,643 BUT LEON QUIT. WE DON'T NEED LEON. 1932 01:23:00,676 --> 01:23:03,412 NOW THAT WE HAVE LIQUID STRENGTH, I CAN DO IT MYSELF. 1933 01:23:03,446 --> 01:23:06,015 OH, MERLIN, YOU'RE WONDERFUL. 1934 01:23:06,049 --> 01:23:08,084 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 1935 01:23:08,117 --> 01:23:10,319 YOU ASKED THE MOST BRILLIANT DUMB QUESTIONS 1936 01:23:10,353 --> 01:23:11,387 OF ANYONE I KNOW. 1937 01:23:11,420 --> 01:23:14,157 OH, THAT'S THE NICEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME. 1938 01:23:14,190 --> 01:23:15,591 JEN, YOU'RE REALLY WONDERFUL. 1939 01:23:15,624 --> 01:23:16,592 MERLIN! 1940 01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:18,494 STANLEY, PUT ME DOWN. 1941 01:23:18,527 --> 01:23:20,463 STANLEY, YOU PUT MERLIN DOWN. PUT ME DOWN. 1942 01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:21,464 COME ON, NOW, PUT ME DOWN. 1943 01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:22,765 PUT HIM DOWN. STANLEY. 1944 01:23:22,798 --> 01:23:24,200 STANLEY, PUT HIM DOWN. STANLEY, COME ON. 1945 01:23:24,233 --> 01:23:26,102 STANLEY. YOU PUT HIM DOWN THIS MINUTE. 1946 01:23:26,135 --> 01:23:27,503 STANLEY, PUT ME DOWN. 1947 01:23:27,536 --> 01:23:30,506 LET ME SAY, MR. GREEN, HOW GRATEFUL WE ARE 1948 01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:32,508 FOR YOUR VERY GENEROUS OFFER. 1949 01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:33,642 OH, NOTHING TO IT. 1950 01:23:33,676 --> 01:23:35,744 THAT YOUNG FELLA THERE CAN CLEAR MY GRANDDADDY'S NAME, 1951 01:23:35,778 --> 01:23:37,346 WORTH EVERY PENNY I HAVE IN THE WORLD. 1952 01:23:37,380 --> 01:23:38,747 WELL, COME AND SIT DOWN, MR. GREEN. 1953 01:23:38,781 --> 01:23:40,483 WE'RE ABOUT READY TO START. 1954 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:41,350 HARDLY LOOKS LIKE A MAN 1955 01:23:41,384 --> 01:23:43,086 WITH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO GIVE AWAY. 1956 01:23:43,119 --> 01:23:45,354 CAN'T TELL A MAN'S WEALTH BY HIS LOOKS, 1957 01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:46,755 ONLY BY HIS BANK ACCOUNT. 1958 01:23:46,789 --> 01:23:48,357 BUT LOOK AT HIS CLOTHES. 1959 01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:51,094 THAT'S THE WAY THESE RICH ECCENTRICS ARE. 1960 01:23:51,127 --> 01:23:52,228 THE MORE MONEY THEY'VE GOT, 1961 01:23:52,261 --> 01:23:55,131 THE MORE DEPLORABLE THEIR CLOTHES. 1962 01:23:55,164 --> 01:23:56,365 UH, HAVE A CIGAR. 1963 01:23:56,399 --> 01:23:57,633 [chuckles] THANKS. 1964 01:23:57,666 --> 01:23:59,368 SHALL WE, UH, GO AHEAD? 1965 01:23:59,402 --> 01:24:01,770 UH, YEAH. 1966 01:24:01,804 --> 01:24:03,706 TAKE OFF WHEN READY! 1967 01:24:03,739 --> 01:24:06,609 A-OKAY! 1968 01:24:06,642 --> 01:24:08,644 GOOD LUCK, MERLIN. 1969 01:24:08,677 --> 01:24:10,379 THANKS, JEN. 1970 01:24:10,413 --> 01:24:12,115 PLEASE BE CAREFUL. 1971 01:24:14,283 --> 01:24:15,351 AH. 1972 01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,652 [gulps] 1973 01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,523 [exhaling deeply] 1974 01:24:34,303 --> 01:24:35,771 OFF WE GO. 1975 01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:41,577 [whirring] 1976 01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,612 [chattering] 1977 01:24:47,516 --> 01:24:49,752 [chattering] 1978 01:24:49,785 --> 01:24:53,522 [whirring continues] 1979 01:25:09,505 --> 01:25:11,207 [chattering] 1980 01:25:15,411 --> 01:25:16,745 [chattering loudly] 1981 01:25:18,814 --> 01:25:22,185 [whirring intensifies] 1982 01:25:22,218 --> 01:25:23,386 [chattering] 1983 01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:31,260 HE MADE IT! 1984 01:25:31,294 --> 01:25:33,529 I SURE WISH MY GRANDDADDY COULD SEE HIM NOW. 1985 01:25:42,538 --> 01:25:44,340 LOOK OUT! 1986 01:25:44,373 --> 01:25:47,176 LOOK AT THAT. HE CAN STAY UP THERE FOR HOURS. 1987 01:25:56,285 --> 01:25:57,920 ISN'T HE WONDERFUL? 1988 01:26:02,858 --> 01:26:05,394 I'M GETTING SO SURE OF THAT YOUNG FELLA 1989 01:26:05,428 --> 01:26:08,364 THAT I'M GONNA WRITE OUT THIS CHECK RIGHT HERE AND NOW. 1990 01:26:08,397 --> 01:26:10,399 OH, THERE'S NO HURRY, BUT HERE'S THE PEN. 1991 01:26:10,433 --> 01:26:12,735 [laughs] 1992 01:26:12,768 --> 01:26:14,270 WELL, I DON'T EXPECT WE'LL NEED 1993 01:26:14,303 --> 01:26:17,273 ASTERBILT'S SMALL CHANGE NOW, RIGHT, GENTLEMEN? 1994 01:26:17,306 --> 01:26:18,641 QUITE RIGHT. THAT'S THE END OF ASTERBILT. 1995 01:26:18,674 --> 01:26:21,510 AND WE CAN KEEP FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE. 1996 01:26:21,544 --> 01:26:22,645 HERE YOU ARE, JUDGE. 1997 01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,247 THANK YOU, MR. GREEN. 1998 01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:25,248 [gasps] 1999 01:26:25,281 --> 01:26:27,650 THIS IS NOT FOR $10 MILLION. 2000 01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:30,453 NO. HE'S DOING SO WELL UP THERE, 2001 01:26:30,486 --> 01:26:33,222 I THOUGHT I'D UP THE ANTE. 2002 01:26:33,256 --> 01:26:36,292 [whirring continues] 2003 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,395 HE DOUBLED IT! 2004 01:26:39,428 --> 01:26:42,965 HE PUT $20 MILLION! 2005 01:27:03,686 --> 01:27:05,521 $20 MILLION. 2006 01:27:05,554 --> 01:27:07,523 WHERE'S DEARBORNE? I'D LIKE HIM TO SEE THAT CHECK. 2007 01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:08,791 HE SAID HE MIGHT BE A LITTLE LATE, 2008 01:27:08,824 --> 01:27:11,026 BUT THAT HE'D BE HERE. 2009 01:27:11,059 --> 01:27:13,796 UH, YOU KNOW SOMETHING, JUDGE? 2010 01:27:13,829 --> 01:27:15,030 I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D DO IT. 2011 01:27:15,063 --> 01:27:17,933 OH, I NEVER HAD ANY DOUBTS. MERLIN'S A VERY BRILLIANT BOY. 2012 01:27:17,966 --> 01:27:19,935 HE ALWAYS SEEMED SHATTER-PATED TO ME. 2013 01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:21,270 SHATTER-PATED? 2014 01:27:21,304 --> 01:27:22,938 UH, TOUCHED, ADDLED, MOONSTRUCK. 2015 01:27:22,971 --> 01:27:25,541 WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW HE MIGHT GIVE THAT IMPRESSION. 2016 01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:28,544 YOU SEE, HIS MIND IS ALWAYS PREOCCUPIED 2017 01:27:28,577 --> 01:27:30,279 WITH SCIENTIFIC PROBLEMS. 2018 01:27:30,313 --> 01:27:31,447 UH, THAT BUNCH OVER THERE-- 2019 01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,749 THEY'RE ALL SHATTER-PATED, TOO. 2020 01:27:33,782 --> 01:27:35,551 [car door closes] WELL, THEY'RE VERY EXCITED. 2021 01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:38,554 IT ISN'T EVERY DAY THAT THEY SEE A CHECK FOR $20 MILLION. 2022 01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:40,022 YOU KNOW SOMETHING, JUDGE? 2023 01:27:40,055 --> 01:27:43,392 I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT YOU, AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION 2024 01:27:43,426 --> 01:27:44,660 YOU'RE SHATTER-PATED, TOO. 2025 01:27:44,693 --> 01:27:46,529 HELLO, HENRY. WE FOUND YOU AGAIN. 2026 01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:47,963 WALTER, TONY, 2027 01:27:47,996 --> 01:27:48,997 THIS IS JUDGE HOLMSBY. 2028 01:27:49,031 --> 01:27:49,998 (Walter) HI, JUDGE. 2029 01:27:50,032 --> 01:27:51,934 WELL, COME ALONG, HENRY. 2030 01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:54,069 BUT, GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE MISTAKEN. THIS IS MR. DARIUS GREEN. 2031 01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:56,805 DARIUS GREEN? [chuckles] 2032 01:27:56,839 --> 01:27:58,441 ONCE HE WAS ALEXANDER HAMILTON, 2033 01:27:58,474 --> 01:28:00,543 AND HE TRIED TO GIVE AWAY THE UNITED STATES TREASURY. 2034 01:28:00,576 --> 01:28:01,544 [gasps] 2035 01:28:01,577 --> 01:28:03,412 DID HE OFFER YOU ANY MONEY? 2036 01:28:03,446 --> 01:28:07,350 WELL, JUST--JUST $20 MILLION FOR MIDVALE COLLEGE. 2037 01:28:07,383 --> 01:28:08,817 WELL, HE MUST HAVE LIKED YOU. 2038 01:28:08,851 --> 01:28:10,986 HE ONLY OFFERED HARVARD $5 MILLION. 2039 01:28:11,019 --> 01:28:13,922 [stammering] YOU MEAN THE WHOLE THING... 2040 01:28:13,956 --> 01:28:17,092 HIS GENEROSITY IS EQUALED ONLY BY HIS POVERTY. 2041 01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:19,094 UH-HUH. COME ALONG, HENRY. 2042 01:28:19,127 --> 01:28:20,663 GOT TO HUMOR THEM, JUDGE. 2043 01:28:20,696 --> 01:28:22,998 THEY'RE NICE FELLOWS, BUT THEY'RE BOTH SHATTER-PATED. 2044 01:28:23,031 --> 01:28:24,066 [laughs] 2045 01:28:24,099 --> 01:28:26,369 GOOD TO SEE YOU, TONY. HIYA, WALTER. 2046 01:28:29,538 --> 01:28:31,907 (Judge Holmsby) MERLIN! 2047 01:28:31,940 --> 01:28:34,577 MERLIN, IT'S ALL A MISTAKE! THE DEAL'S OFF! 2048 01:28:34,610 --> 01:28:36,512 WHY?! WHAT'S THE MATTER?! 2049 01:28:36,545 --> 01:28:40,416 MR. DARIUS GREEN DOESN'T HAVE ANY MILLIONS TO GIVE! 2050 01:28:40,449 --> 01:28:42,084 HE'S SHATTER-PATED! 2051 01:28:42,117 --> 01:28:45,020 WE'RE ALL OF US SHATTER-PATED! 2052 01:28:45,053 --> 01:28:48,424 OH, NO! 2053 01:28:48,457 --> 01:28:50,092 OH, NO! 2054 01:28:52,027 --> 01:28:53,562 MERLIN, BE CAREFUL! 2055 01:28:58,634 --> 01:29:00,436 [squealing] 2056 01:29:05,140 --> 01:29:06,409 HENRY, HENRY! 2057 01:29:06,442 --> 01:29:07,710 COME BACK! 2058 01:29:14,149 --> 01:29:16,985 [brakes squeal] 2059 01:29:17,019 --> 01:29:20,823 AHHH. 2060 01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:22,525 [laughs] OH, YEAH. 2061 01:29:22,558 --> 01:29:24,827 MERLIN, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT? 2062 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,429 YEAH, YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT. 2063 01:29:26,462 --> 01:29:28,664 WELL, JUDGE, THERE GOES FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE. 2064 01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,401 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A MUD BATH? 2065 01:29:32,435 --> 01:29:34,102 [laughs] NOW, TAKE IT EASY, JUDGE. 2066 01:29:34,136 --> 01:29:36,104 NO SENSE BEING A BAD LOSER. 2067 01:29:36,138 --> 01:29:37,973 [laughing] 2068 01:29:38,006 --> 01:29:41,444 [laughing stops] WHY, MR. ASTERBILT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 2069 01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:43,546 DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU, DEARBORNE. 2070 01:29:43,579 --> 01:29:45,147 I'LL GIVE YOU THAT CHECK RIGHT NOW. 2071 01:29:45,180 --> 01:29:47,950 (Dearborne) OH, MR. ASTERBILT, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, INDEED. 2072 01:29:47,983 --> 01:29:51,420 WELL, I HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH THESE SHATTER-PATED FELLAS. 2073 01:29:51,454 --> 01:29:52,655 SO I'LL JUST SIGN THIS, 2074 01:29:52,688 --> 01:29:55,691 AND YOU FILL IT IN NOW FOR ANY AMOUNT YOU WANT. 2075 01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,092 COME ALONG. 2076 01:29:57,125 --> 01:30:00,095 BYE, DEARBORNE. 2077 01:30:00,128 --> 01:30:03,065 WHERE ARE THOSE MEN TAKING MR. ASTERBILT? 2078 01:30:03,098 --> 01:30:06,535 [all laughing] 2079 01:30:06,569 --> 01:30:08,704 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH EVERYBODY? 2080 01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,439 MR. ASTERBILT JUST GAVE ME A CHECK 2081 01:30:10,473 --> 01:30:12,007 FOR ANY AMOUNT I CARE TO NAME. 2082 01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:13,976 [laughing continues] 2083 01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:16,111 WELL, IF YOU'RE COLLECTING HIS WORTHLESS CHECKS, 2084 01:30:16,144 --> 01:30:18,213 HERE'S ONE FOR $20 MILLION. 2085 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:20,983 OH. OH, YES. [laughing] 2086 01:30:21,016 --> 01:30:23,852 [laughing] 2087 01:30:23,886 --> 01:30:25,721 OH, YES, HE... 2088 01:30:25,754 --> 01:30:28,123 EASY COME, EASY... 2089 01:30:28,156 --> 01:30:29,892 GO. 2090 01:30:32,895 --> 01:30:33,862 [whimpering] 2091 01:30:33,896 --> 01:30:36,865 COME BACK, HENRY! 2092 01:30:36,899 --> 01:30:38,066 COME BACK! 2093 01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:39,668 [neighing] 2094 01:30:39,702 --> 01:30:41,937 HI-OH, SILVER! 2095 01:30:41,970 --> 01:30:43,205 AWAY! 2096 01:30:43,238 --> 01:30:45,207 (all) HI-OH! 2097 01:30:45,240 --> 01:30:48,043 OH, COME BACK! 2098 01:30:48,076 --> 01:30:49,878 [all laughing] 2099 01:30:49,912 --> 01:30:49,978 COME BACK HERE, I SAY! 141911

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