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1
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,410
[The Beach Boys'
The Monkey's Uncle]
2
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,250
* UH-HUH, SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH *
3
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,120
* SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE,
WHOA, WHOA *
4
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:21,089
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
5
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,225
* AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S
APE FOR ME *
6
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,628
* WELL, I DON'T CARE
WHAT THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS *
7
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,231
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
8
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,534
* CALL US A COUPLE
OF MISSING LINKS *
9
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,204
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
10
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,806
* LOVE ALL
HIS MONKEYSHINES *
* WHOO OOH OOH
11
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:42,243
* EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE'S
12
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,544
* I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE
13
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,180
* AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S
APE FOR ME *
14
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,782
* APE FOR ME
15
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,653
* UH-HUH, SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH *
16
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,523
* SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE,
WHOA, WHOA *
17
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,525
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
18
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,860
* AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S
APE FOR ME *
19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:04,232
* WE KISS AND MY HEART
JUMPS LIKE A CLOWN *
20
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,767
(Beach Boys)
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
21
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,870
* FEELS LIKE THE CIRCUS
JUST CAME TO TOWN *
22
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,773
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
23
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,776
* I'D LIVE
IN A JUNGLE GYM *
* WHOO OOH OOH
24
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,446
* IN ORDER
TO BE WITH HIM *
25
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,114
* I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE
26
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,750
* AND I WISH
I WERE THE MONKEY'S AUNT *
27
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,619
* MONKEY'S AUNT
28
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[guitar solo]
29
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,479
* WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA *
30
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,715
* ON THE DAY
HE MARRIES ME *
31
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,785
* WHAT A NUTTY FAMILY TREE
32
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,287
* A BRIDE
33
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,355
* A GROOM, A CHIMPANZEE
34
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:04,625
(Jennifer)
HE'S THE BOOBY PRIZE *
35
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,860
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
36
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:10,631
* HE'S THE GUY I IDOLIZE
37
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,167
* SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE *
38
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,669
* LOVE ALL
HIS MONKEYSHINES *
* WHOO OOH OOH
39
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,806
* EVERY DAY IS VALENTINE'S
40
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,408
* I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE
41
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,710
* AND THE MONKEY'S UNCLE'S
APE FOR ME *
42
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,646
* APE FOR ME
43
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,383
* UH-HUH, SHE LOVES
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE, YEAH, YEAH *
44
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:32,253
* SHE LOVES THE MONKEY'S UNCLE,
WHOA, WHOA *
45
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,921
* I LOVE THE MONKEY'S UNCLE
46
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,657
* AND I'M MAD
ABOUT HIS CHIMPANZEE *
47
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,692
[applause]
48
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,400
YOUR NAME
IS MERLIN JONES,
49
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,402
AND YOU'RE A STUDENT
AT MIDVALE COLLEGE.
50
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:49,803
YES, YOUR HONOR.
51
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,939
MR. JONES, YOU REALIZE
52
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,575
THIS IS A MOST UNUSUAL
ADOPTION PETITION.
53
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,477
YES, YOUR HONOR, I DO.
54
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,611
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
YOU DON'T HAVE
55
00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,481
THE WRITTEN CONSENT
OF THE NATURAL PARENTS.
56
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,915
WELL, I-I CAN'T GET
THAT, SIR.
57
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,617
ARE THEY ALIVE?
58
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,919
THEY MAY BE. IF THEY ARE,
THEY'RE SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA.
59
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,521
AND IN THE SECOND PLACE,
60
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,391
[chuckling]
WELL, YOU, THE ADOPTING PARENT,
61
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,492
A-ARE AN UNMARRIED MALE.
62
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,993
THAT'S CORRECT, SIR.
63
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,662
AND IN THE THIRD PLACE,
64
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,365
THERE'S, UH, NO PRECEDENT
FOR ADOPTING A CHIMPANZEE.
65
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,066
I KNOW THAT,
YOUR HONOR.
66
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:22,770
(Judge Holmsby)
TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU SO ANXIOUS
TO ADOPT THIS CHIMPANZEE?
67
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,005
TO GIVE HIM THE ADVANTAGES
OF A GOOD HOME.
68
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,474
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
TO ADOPT HIM
69
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,243
TO GIVE HIM A NICE CLEAN CAGE
70
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,744
AND A BUNCH OF BANANAS.
71
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,847
[laughter]
YOUR HONOR, I WANT STANLEY
TO HAVE MORE THAN THAT.
72
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,683
I WANT HIM TO HAVE
A STIMULATING ENVIRONMENT.
73
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,750
I WANT HIM TO HAVE A CHANCE
74
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,852
TO REALIZE HIS FULL
INTELLECTUAL POSSIBILITIES.
75
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,554
YES, I REMEMBER.
76
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,290
UH, YOU BELIEVE THAT CHIMPS
77
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,024
CAN BE TRAINED TO THINK
LIKE HUMANS.
78
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,158
YES, SIR.
79
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,295
I BELIEVE THAT STANLEY
CAN BE TAUGHT TO WORK AND THINK
80
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,696
ON A COLLEGE-STUDENT LEVEL.
81
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,264
WELL, THAT
SEEMS REASONABLE.
82
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,532
I KNOW COLLEGE STUDENTS
83
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,567
WHO WORK AND THINK
ON A CHIMPANZEE LEVEL.
84
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,568
[laughter]
85
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,869
(Merlin)
YES, SIR.
86
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,705
AND IF STANLEY HAD LEGAL
STATUS, HE'D BE PROTECTED.
87
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,673
PEOPLE COULDN'T BE COMPLAINING
OR PHONING THE POLICE
88
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,509
ABOUT HIM LIVING IN THE HOUSE
AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
89
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,278
WILL THE YOUNG LADY
WHO TESTIFIED
90
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,314
AS A CHARACTER WITNESS
FOR MR. JONES
91
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,981
PLEASE COME FORWARD?
92
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,857
YOU TESTIFIED THAT MERLIN JONES
IS OF GOOD CHARACTER
93
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,959
AND IS A SOBER
AND INDUSTRIOUS CITIZEN.
94
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:19,993
YES, SIR, HE IS.
95
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,128
DO YOU BELIEVE
96
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,564
THAT HE WILL GIVE STANLEY
EVERY CARE AND AFFECTION?
97
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,799
OH, MERLIN
IS VERY AFFECTIONATE.
98
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,800
[laughter]
OH.
99
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,437
I MEAN,
HE'S VERY RESPONSIBLE,
100
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,404
AND I'M SURE HE'LL SEE
101
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,773
THAT STANLEY GETS
LOTS OF CARE AND AFFECTION.
102
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,543
THANK YOU.
103
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,545
UH, MR. JONES, UH...
104
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,547
AFTER DUE CONSIDERATION
OF THIS MATTER,
105
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,415
I HAVE REACHED MY DECISION.
106
00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,685
UH, THE PETITION
FOR FORMAL ADOPTION AS PRESENTED
107
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,688
IS HEREWITH DENIED.
108
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,558
HOWEVER, IT IS NOT NOW,
NOR EVER,
109
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:51,625
THE INTENTION OF THIS COURT
110
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:55,963
TO STIFLE THE ACADEMIC FREEDOM
OF THIS COMMUNITY.
111
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:59,099
MR. JONES, TO PROVIDE YOU
WITH THE PROPER STATUS
112
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,702
WITHIN WHICH
STANLEY'S MENTAL CAPACITIES
113
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,437
MAY BE BROUGHT
TO FULL FLOWER,
114
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:06,874
I AM PERSUADED
THAT SOME FORM
115
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,976
OF CONDITIONAL GUARDIANSHIP
MAY BE IN ORDER.
116
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,845
SO, HENCEFORTH,
YOU WILL BE REGARDED
117
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,080
IN THE EYES OF THIS COURT
118
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:17,084
AND ARE SO APPOINTED
AS THE MONKEY'S UNCLE.
119
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,686
OH, THANK YOU, SIR!
120
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,554
BUT HE'S NOT A MONKEY, SIR.
HE'S A CHIMP.
121
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,789
OH, YES, YES,
OF COURSE, A CHIMP.
122
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,957
[chattering]
123
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,094
[laughter]
124
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,798
UH, ORDER!
ORDER IN THE COURT!
125
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,700
[laughter continues]
126
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,438
OH, UH, BAILIFF,
NEXT PETITION, PLEASE.
127
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,606
UH...
128
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,548
OH, STANLEY.
YOU'RE CIVILIZED NOW, STANLEY,
129
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,583
WHICH MEANS
THAT THERE'S MORE TO LIFE
130
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:52,119
THAN JUST EATING AND SLEEPING
AND WATCHING WESTERNS.
131
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,521
[channel changes]
132
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,556
THERE, THAT'S BEETHOVEN'S
FIFTH SYMPHONY.
133
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,425
IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN COWBOYS
AND INDIANS, ISN'T IT?
134
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,428
[Beethoven's
Symphony No. 5]
135
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:06,767
*
136
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,839
[yawns]
137
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,950
[uptempo music]
138
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,085
*
139
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,253
NO, STANLEY,
140
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,857
THE IDEA IS TO EXPOSE YOU
TO INTELLECTUAL INFLUENCES.
141
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,124
[channel changes]
142
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,960
THAT'S BETTER, ISN'T IT?
143
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,764
[Beethoven's
Symphony No. 5]
144
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,433
YOU TIRED, SON?
145
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,969
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
IT'S LATE.
146
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,104
COME ON, STANLEY,
IT'S BEDTIME.
147
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,839
*
148
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,441
THERE YOU GO.
149
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,010
IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY
FOR YOU, HASN'T IT?
150
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,548
[TV turns off]
151
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,550
NO, STANLEY,
YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING.
152
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,623
WE BRUSH OUR TEETH
BEFORE WE GO TO BED.
153
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,963
THAT'S A GOOD BOY,
STANLEY.
154
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,732
ALL RIGHT, STANLEY.
155
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,601
NOW, YOU SEE,
THIS IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH.
156
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,835
THE OTHER ONE'S MINE.
157
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,572
FIRST THING WE DO IS SQUEEZE OUT
THE TOOTHPASTE ON THE BRUSH,
158
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,707
LIKE THIS.
159
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,709
AND THEN
WE BRUSH OUR TEETH.
160
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,243
NOW, OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
161
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,978
OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
162
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,781
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW, WE BRUSH UP AND DOWN.
163
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,584
UP AND DOWN,
YOU SEE?
164
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,052
THAT'S A GOOD BOY.
165
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,121
THAT'S VERY GOOD, STANLEY,
UP AND DOWN.
166
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,355
[doorbell rings]
167
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,825
THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR.
YOU KEEP BRUSHING YOUR TEETH.
168
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,483
[chattering]
169
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,587
JENNIFER.
170
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,855
WHY DO YOU LOOK
SO SURPRISED?
171
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,723
YOU'RE TAKING ME
TO A MOVIE, REMEMBER?
172
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:12,593
BUT I-I MADE THAT DATE
BEFORE I BECAME STANLEY'S UNCLE.
173
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,162
WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN
WE CAN'T GO OUT ANYMORE.
174
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,633
[chattering]
175
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,620
BUT, JENNIFER, YOU HEARD
WHAT JUDGE HOLMSBY SAID.
176
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,589
I HAVE TO GIVE STANLEY
CARE AND AFFECTION.
177
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,990
THE MOST DEVOTED PARENTS
IN THE WORLD
178
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,858
GET BABYSITTERS
AND GO OUT OCCASIONALLY.
179
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,595
LEAVE STANLEY WITH A SITTER?
I COULDN'T DO THAT.
180
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,597
THERE'S LOTS OF GIRLS AT SCHOOL
WHO DO SITTING,
181
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,998
AND THEY'RE
VERY COMPETENT.
182
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,132
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'LL DO.
183
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,066
I'LL PUT STANLEY TO BED,
184
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,602
AND THEN WE CAN GO OUT
IN THE YARD AND TALK.
185
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,269
MERLIN, STOP FUSSING.
186
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,606
YOU TAKE A BEAST FRESH OUT
OF THE JUNGLE, AND YOU--
187
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,140
JEN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
188
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,610
PLEASE DON'T EVER USE
THAT WORD AROUND STANLEY.
189
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,144
WHAT WORD, JUNGLE?
190
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,213
[whispering]
SHH! HE MIGHT HEAR YOU.
191
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,148
MERLIN, YOU'RE BEING
ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS
192
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,316
ABOUT THAT CHIMP.
193
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,619
RIDICULOUS, AM I?
194
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,622
JUST LET ME SHOW YOU
THE PROGRESS HE'S MADE.
195
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,856
[Stanley
chattering loudly]
OH!
196
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,863
[chattering continues]
197
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,170
PROGRESS?
198
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,145
WELL, NOW, HERE'S
A NICE GLASS OF WATER
199
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,312
IN CASE YOU GET THIRSTY.
200
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,614
AND IN CASE
YOU GET HUNGRY--
201
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,882
MERLIN,
YOU'RE SPOILING HIM.
202
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:45,953
JEN, PLEASE, LET'S NOT QUARREL
IN FRONT OF HIM.
203
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,623
UNCLE MERLIN IS TREATING STANLEY
LIKE A LITTLE BABY, ISN'T HE?
204
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,626
[chattering softly]
BUT STANLEY'S REALLY
A BIG, GROWN-UP BOY.
205
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,294
PUT THESE
ON HIS HEAD.
206
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,631
ONE HERE AND ONE HERE
AND ONE HERE.
207
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,299
CURLERS?
208
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,034
STANLEY,
ISN'T THIS EXCITING?
209
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,703
TOMORROW MORNING
WHEN YOU WAKE UP,
210
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,772
YOU'LL BE THE ONLY
CURLY-TOP CHIMP IN THE WORLD.
211
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,139
THAT'S NOT
THE IDEA AT ALL.
212
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,775
I'M PREPARING HIM
FOR A LITTLE SLEEP LEARNING.
213
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,209
SLEEP LEARNING?
214
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,878
YOU MEAN WHERE THEY PUT WHAT YOU
HAVE TO LEARN ON A RECORD,
215
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,279
AND YOU LET IT PLAY ALL NIGHT
WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP,
216
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,747
AND THE NEXT MORNING
YOU KNOW IT?
217
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,015
UH-UH, THAT'S
THE OLD SLEEP LEARNING.
218
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,149
I'VE GOT A NEW IDEA.
219
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,151
YOU SEE, I BYPASS
THE EAR ENTIRELY,
220
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,120
AND BY BONE CONDUCTION, I PIPE
IT THROUGH THE LEARNING CENTERS
221
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,422
IN THE TEMPORAL LOBES
AND THE PRECENTRAL GYRUS
222
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,124
DIRECT INTO HIS UNCONSCIOUS.
223
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,293
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL,
STANLEY?
224
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,161
I'VE RECORDED THESE RECORDS
FOR HIM TO LEARN.
225
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,430
12 EASY LESSONS
IN CIVILIZATION.
226
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,033
HE'LL HAVE A LOT
OF STUDYING TO DO.
227
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,903
THIS TIMER WILL START THE RECORD
AS SOON AS HE'S ASLEEP.
228
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,773
THEN HE'LL BEGIN TO LEARN
THE MANY SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS
229
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,275
THAT ADD UP
TO BEING CIVILIZED.
230
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,212
THINGS YOU AND I DO
WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF THEM.
231
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,016
GOOD NIGHT, STANLEY.
232
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,017
GOOD NIGHT.
233
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,018
AND GOOD LUCK.
234
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,820
[chattering]
235
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:17,444
[Merlin on record player]
WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS,
TURN IT OFF,
236
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,913
GET OUT OF BED,
237
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,315
TURN ON THE COFFEE,
238
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,317
PUT OUT THE CAT,
239
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:28,421
TAKE A SHOWER
AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
240
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,158
NOW WAKE ME UP.
241
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,292
[ticking]
242
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,794
[alarm ringing]
243
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,331
(Merlin)
WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS,
TURN IT OFF.
244
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,974
GET OUT OF BED.
245
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,509
TURN ON THE COFFEE.
246
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,211
[chattering]
247
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,316
(Merlin's voice)
PUT OUT THE CAT.
248
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,954
[meows]
249
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:06,293
(Merlin)
TAKE A SHOWER
AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
250
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,529
[screaming]
251
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,766
[chattering]
252
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,206
[water running]
253
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,777
[door opens]
254
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,146
[chattering]
255
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,917
(Merlin)
NOW WAKE ME UP.
256
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,953
[chattering]
257
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,890
[chattering loudly]
258
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,059
(Merlin)
WAKE ME UP.
259
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,028
WAKE ME UP.
260
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,064
[chattering]
261
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,971
(Merlin)
WAKE ME UP.
262
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,341
[chattering loudly]
[spits]
263
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,179
YOU DID IT, STANLEY.
YOU DID IT.
264
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,114
YOU CARRIED OUT
YOUR ASSIGNMENTS.
265
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,216
GOOD BOY!
[laughs]
266
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,318
YOU'LL BE THE SMARTEST CHIMP
IN MIDVALE, HUH?
267
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,021
AREN'T YOU, STANLEY?
SMARTEST CHIMP IN MIDVALE.
268
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:09,957
[laughing]
269
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,331
SORRY, I'M LATE,
GENTLEMEN.
270
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,467
THAT'S QUITE
ALL RIGHT, JUDGE.
271
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,203
MR. DEARBORNE
HAS BEEN TELLING US ONCE AGAIN
272
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,939
ABOUT OUR
TROUBLESOME PROBLEM--
273
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,976
STUDENTS CHEATING
ON EXAMINATIONS.
274
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,243
PARTICULARLY
FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
275
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,246
ALL RIGHT, DEARBORNE, WE KNOW
YOU DON'T APPROVE OF FOOTBALL.
276
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,949
I HAVE, THEREFORE,
ASKED PROFESSOR SHATTUCK
277
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:39,319
TO GIVE US A REPORT
ON THE SUBJECT.
278
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,420
PROFESSOR SHATTUCK
279
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:43,056
SPECIALIZES IN CHEATING
ON EXAMINATIONS.
280
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,457
[clearing throat,
grumbling]
281
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:48,929
I MEAN, PROFESSOR SHATTUCK
IS AN EXPERT
282
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,965
ON THE SUBJECT
OF CHEATING ON EXAMS.
283
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,467
[chuckles]
PROFESSOR.
284
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,937
I, UH, WOULD LIKE TO ASSURE
MR. DEARBORNE
285
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,205
THAT EVERY TIME A STUDENT
286
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,940
DEVELOPS
A NEW METHOD OF CHEATING,
287
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,075
A NEW TECHNIQUE OF CRIBBING,
288
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:06,413
OUR SECURITY CORPS WILL DEVELOP
A NEW DEFENSE AGAINST IT.
289
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,647
WE'VE COME A LONG WAY
290
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,383
SINCE HUGO DRIBBLE WAS EXPELLED
FROM MIDVALE, MR. DEARBORNE.
291
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,318
REMEMBER HUGO?
292
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,586
HE WAS IN OUR CLASS--
A GREAT HALFBACK.
293
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:17,290
HE WAS GREAT AT STEALING
THE SIGNALS OF THE OTHER TEAM.
294
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,060
DRIBBLE USED THE CLASSIC
AND SOMEWHAT OUTDATED METHOD
295
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,063
OF WRITING THE INFORMATION
HE NEEDED ON HIS CUFFS.
296
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,332
HE WAS CAUGHT IN THE ACT
BY AN INSTRUCTOR
297
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,134
WHO SNEAKED UP ON HIM
WEARING TENNIS SHOES.
298
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:30,470
WAS HUGO REELECTED TO THE SENATE
AGAIN THIS YEAR?
299
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:33,340
YOU KNOW, DEARBORNE,
HE'S PRESIDENTIAL TIMBER.
300
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,175
ELMER TEPPET'S
CONTRIBUTION
301
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,611
WAS A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH
IN THE FIELD OF CRIBBING.
302
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:42,349
NOW, HERE WE HAVE...
303
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,219
A PEN AND INK
MADE OF VEGETABLE COLORING
304
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,356
AND ORDINARY CHEWING GUM.
305
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,959
TEPPET WROTE
THE INFORMATION HE NEEDED
306
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,360
ON THE STICK OF GUM
307
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:57,030
AND PLACED IT ON HIS DESK
DURING THE EXAMS.
308
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,066
WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR
BECAME SUSPICIOUS
309
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,934
AND APPROACHED
TO INVESTIGATE,
310
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,937
TEPPET MERELY DESTROYED
THE EVIDENCE.
311
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,472
A RESOURCEFUL FELLOW.
312
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:09,042
THEY DON'T MAKE QUARTERBACKS
LIKE HIM ANYMORE.
313
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,611
IT TOOK THREE YEARS
TO CATCH UP WITH ELMER TEPPET,
314
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,081
BUT WE FINALLY DID IT.
315
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,582
HE WAS EXPELLED--
316
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,184
JUST BEFORE THE BIG GAME
WITH RANDALL.
317
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,319
YOU HAVE
A VERY GOOD MEMORY, JUDGE.
318
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,454
WE CERTAINLY MISSED HIM.
LOST 42-0 THAT YEAR.
319
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,357
IN CONCLUSION,
GENTLEMEN,
320
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,592
LET ME ASSURE YOU
321
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,495
THAT AS NEW SUPER CRIBS
ARE DEVELOPED,
322
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:32,232
WE WILL CREATE SUPER TECHNIQUES
FOR DETECTING THEM.
323
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,466
THANK YOU.
324
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,334
I PROPOSE
325
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,469
WE ABOLISH FOOTBALL
AT MIDVALE COLLEGE.
326
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,737
OH, NO, NOT THAT AGAIN.
327
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,771
EVERY TIME
WE HAVE A PROBLEM,
328
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,740
YOUR SOLUTION IS TO ABOLISH
THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
329
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,475
FOOTBALL IS THE ROOT
OF ALL COLLEGE EVIL.
330
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,111
OH, YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE
YOU COULDN'T MAKE THE TEAM
331
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,278
WHEN YOU AND I
WERE STUDENTS HERE.
332
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,747
AND YOU ONLY DEFEND FOOTBALL
BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THE TEAM.
333
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,582
FOOTBALL IS AN IMPORTANT PART
OF COLLEGE LIFE.
334
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,583
NOT ONLY
FOR THE PLAYERS,
335
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,986
BUT FOR THE ENTIRE
STUDENT BODY.
336
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,089
JUDGE HOLMSBY, ARE YOU IN FAVOR
OF CHEATING ON COLLEGE EXAMS?
337
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,224
NO, OF COURSE NOT,
338
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,226
BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME FOOTBALL
FOR THAT.
339
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,362
GETTING GRADES IS ONLY PART
OF ACQUIRING AN EDUCATION,
340
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,097
UNLESS YOUR IDEA
OF AN EDUCATION
341
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,099
IS TO TURN OUT
MEMORY MACHINES.
342
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,101
I PREFER THE MEN AND WOMEN
WHO CAN THINK.
343
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,503
I MADE A MOTION TO ABOLISH
FOOTBALL ON THIS CAMPUS.
344
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,739
AND I OPPOSE IT
STRENUOUSLY.
345
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,374
[all shouting
over each other]
GENTLEMEN!
346
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,109
GENTLEMEN!
347
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:19,579
LET US NOT LOSE
OUR TEMPERS.
348
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,584
I REALLY DO NOT THINK,
AT THIS STAGE,
349
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,220
IT IS NECESSARY
TO DO ANYTHING
350
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,756
AS DRASTIC
AS ABOLISHING FOOTBALL.
351
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:33,626
HOWEVER, I PROMISE YOU,
MR. DEARBORNE,
352
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,095
THAT PROFESSOR SHATTUCK
353
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,764
AND HIS SECURITY CORPS
354
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,500
WILL BE
PARTICULARLY VIGILANT
355
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,236
DURING THE COMING
EXAMINATION,
356
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,373
AND ESPECIALLY WATCH
FOR THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS.
357
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,646
[doorbell rings]
358
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,249
GOOD EVENING, JUDGE.
OH, HAYWOOD,
I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME.
359
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,150
WELL, WHAT'S
THE TROUBLE?
360
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,651
A CRISIS, HAYWOOD,
AN ABSOLUTE CRISIS.
361
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,353
OH, JUDGE,
THIS IS NORMAN AND LEON.
362
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,222
UH, JUDGE IS ONE
OF OUR GREATEST MU MU ALUMNI
363
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,756
AND A VERY AVID
FOOTBALL FAN.
364
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,425
YES, I'VE SEEN
YOU FELLAS PLAY, OF COURSE.
365
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,228
I ONLY HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU PLAY FOR THE LAST TIME.
366
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,363
THE REGENTS HAVEN'T ABOLISHED
FOOTBALL, HAVE THEY?
367
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,132
NO, THEY DIDN'T GO
QUITE THAT FAR.
368
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,101
UH, MR. DEARBORNE TRIED,
BUT HE FAILED AGAIN.
369
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,236
EVERY YEAR HE TRIES
TO PENALIZE MIDVALE
370
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,504
FOR NOT LETTING HIM
ON THE TEAM
371
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,606
WHEN HE AND I WERE
UNDERGRADUATES HERE.
372
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,142
GEE, I DIDN'T KNOW MIDVALE
WAS THAT OLD A COLLEGE.
373
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,143
[clears throat]
374
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,744
I PLAYED FOOTBALL
FOR MIDVALE.
375
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,779
I DIDN'T KNOW FOOTBALL
WAS THAT OLD A GAME.
376
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,382
JUDGE, THE BOYS
ARE A LITTLE CONFUSSED.
377
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,118
ACTUALLY, THE MU MUS
STILL TALK ABOUT THE DAYS
378
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,352
WHEN YOU PLAYED FOOTBALL
FOR MIDVALE.
379
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,387
THEY DO?
380
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,424
THE JUDGE'S NAME
IS HOLMSBY.
381
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,094
[chuckles]
THEY CALLED ME
"HURRY UP" HOLMSBY.
382
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,429
YES, SIR,
EVERY TIME TALK
383
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,630
TURNS TO FOOTBALL,
384
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,498
THERE ARE FEW GREAT NAMES
THAT COME UP AGAIN AND AGAIN--
385
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:46,499
KNUTE ROCKNE,
386
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,235
JIM THORPE,
387
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,370
RED GRANGE,
"HURRY UP" HOLMSBY.
388
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738
(Judge Holmsby)
WELL, THAT'S FINE.
389
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,306
THAT'S FINE, HAYWOOD.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
390
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,375
BUT I THINK WE'D BETTER GET
DOWN TO OUR PROBLEM.
391
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,511
THE BOARD HAS DECIDED
TO CRACK DOWN ON EXAM CHEATING
392
00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,646
AND TO KEEP A SPECIAL EYE
393
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,681
ON FOOTBALL PLAYERS
DURING THE EXAMS.
394
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,883
WELL, THAT MEANS
THEY ARE ABOLISHING FOOTBALL.
395
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,352
[chuckles]
NO, IT JUST MEANS
396
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,187
THAT THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS
WILL HAVE TO PASS
397
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,589
THEIR EXAMS HONESTLY
TO STAY ELIGIBLE.
398
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,359
THEY'RE ABOLISHING
FOOTBALL, JUDGE.
399
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,661
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT
THERE ARE NO FOOTBALL PLAYERS
400
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,696
WHO CAN PASS
THEIR EXAMS HONESTLY?
401
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,132
NO, NO, JUDGE, MOST OF THEM
HAVE NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
402
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,901
BUT WHAT MAKES
THE MIDVALE TEAM?
403
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,203
THIS COMBO.
404
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,205
AND WITHOUT THEM,
THE TEAM'S WASHED UP.
405
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,406
WELL, THEY'LL JUST HAVE
TO STUDY HARDER.
406
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,540
[laughs]
407
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,210
THAT'S EASIER SAID
THAN DONE, JUDGE.
408
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,245
UH...
409
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,248
YEAH, I SEE
WHAT YOU MEAN.
410
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,385
WELL, THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO FIND A WAY TO CHEAT HONESTLY.
411
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,487
AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT--
IS THERE SUCH A THING?
412
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,256
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT WE MUST FIND OUT.
413
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,659
WE HAVE A VERY INGENIOUS
YOUNG MAN HERE AT MIDVALE.
414
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,395
AND IF APPROACHED
PROPERLY,
415
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,630
HE MAY PUT HIS INGENUITY
TO WORK FOR US.
416
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,932
JUDGE, THAT'S GREAT.
WHO IS HE?
MERLIN JONES.
417
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,802
MERLIN JONES!
418
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,438
MERLIN JONES.
419
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,276
I HAVE TO LOOK
FOR SOMETHING IN MY PURSE.
420
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,313
[laughter]
421
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,649
I CAN'T STAND HIM.
422
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,651
WHO?
DON HAYWOOD.
423
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,885
HE'S SUCH
A TERRIBLE SNOB.
424
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,654
UNLESS YOU'RE A MEMBER
OF MU MU FRATERNITY
425
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,656
OR SOMETHING ELSE
HE CONSIDERS SOCIALLY IMPORTANT,
426
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,258
HE IGNORES YOU.
427
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,926
HAS HE EVER
SAID HELLO TO YOU?
428
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,228
[chuckles]
NEVER.
429
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,929
HELLO, JENNIFER,
HOW ARE YOU?
430
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:23,930
HI.
431
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,266
MERLIN, OLD MAN,
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
432
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,535
WE'RE HAVING A DANCE AT
THE MU MU HOUSE SATURDAY NIGHT.
433
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,437
WE'D LIKE YOU
TO BE THERE.
434
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,273
ISN'T HE NICE?!
435
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,140
THAT SNOB?
436
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,675
WELL, A PERSON
CAN BE DISCRIMINATING
437
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:36,809
WITHOUT BEING A SNOB.
438
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,280
AND I HEAR THOSE MU MU DANCES
ARE REALLY MARVELOUS.
439
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,682
WELL, MAYBE SO,
BUT I DON'T INTEND TO FIND OUT.
440
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,417
MERLIN, YOU MUST GO.
441
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,486
WHY MUST I?
IT'D BE RUDE
IF YOU DIDN'T.
442
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,522
I CAN'T LEAVE STANLEY
HOME ALONE AT NIGHT
443
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,790
TO GO TO A MU MU DANCE.
444
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,660
STANLEY--IS THAT WHY
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO?
445
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,262
WELL, AFTER ALL,
HE'S ONLY A--
446
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,264
THERE'S A SITTER-SERVICE NUMBER
ON THE BULLETIN BOARD.
447
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,432
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL,
AND THEY SEND
448
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,533
A VERY CAPABLE SITTER.
449
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,935
I'M SORRY, JEN, BUT I CAN'T FACE
THE IDEA OF GOING OFF
450
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,804
AND LEAVING STANLEY ALONE
WITH A SITTER.
451
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:05,905
NOW, TRY AND UNDERSTAND.
452
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,674
OH, I DO.
453
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,243
I REALIZE STANLEY
IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM.
454
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,678
OH, JE--
WAIT, JEN, DON'T SAY THAT.
455
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,945
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
456
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,046
I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED
OF GOING
457
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,683
TO ONE OF THOSE GLAMOROUS,
MARVELOUS MU MU DANCES,
458
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,885
BUT LOTS OF DREAMS
DON'T COME TRUE.
459
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,820
A-ALL RIGHT,
MAYBE WE CAN GO,
460
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,690
B-BUT WE WON'T STAY
TOO LATE.
461
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,559
OH, MERLIN, I'M SO GLAD
YOU DECIDED TO GO.
462
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,395
AND I'VE GOT A NEW DRESS,
AND I KNOW YOU'LL LOVE IT.
463
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,863
WELL, O-OKAY,
BUT--BUT WE WON'T STAY--
464
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,399
AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF ORDERING
THE SITTER FOR YOU.
465
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,800
WELL, JUST TELL HER
IT'S JUST GONNA BE FOR LIKE--
466
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,801
MERLIN.
467
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,403
HUH?
468
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,306
I FORGOT
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.
469
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,808
STANLEY,
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
470
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,576
YOU'VE MADE
TREMENDOUS PROGRESS
471
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,545
IN A VERY SHORT TIME.
472
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,648
BUT THE MAIN THING
IS YOUR CONCENTRATED STUDYING.
473
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,918
VERY GOOD, STANLEY.
VERY GOOD, INDEED.
474
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:52,885
YOU KNOW, STANLEY--
475
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,956
STANLEY, YOUR EYES LOOK
A LITTLE BLOODSHOT.
476
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,825
MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING
TOO HARD.
477
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,428
[doorbell rings]
478
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,965
HI, MERLIN.
DO YOU, UH, NOTICE ANYTHING?
479
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,734
YEAH, STANLEY'S EYES
ARE A LITTLE BLOODSHOT.
480
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,836
NOT STANLEY, ME.
481
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,904
YOUR EYES DON'T LOOK
BLOODSHOT AT ALL.
482
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,039
MERLIN,
YOU'RE HOPELESS.
483
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,842
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU
TO NOTICE MY NEW DRESS.
484
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,077
OH, OH, WELL, UH...
485
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,946
IT LOOKS
VERY COMFORTABLE.
486
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:23,750
OH, FORGET IT.
LET'S JUST GOT TO THE DANCE.
487
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,818
THE SITTER
ISN'T HERE YET.
488
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:28,421
I'M GETTING PRETTY NERVOUS
ABOUT TRUSTING HER WITH STANLEY.
489
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,457
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY UNRELIABLE,
490
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,658
OR SHE WOULD'VE BEEN
HERE ALREADY.
491
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,426
SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
UNTIL 8:30.
492
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,962
WELL, IT'S EXACTLY 8:30
AND TEN SECONDS,
493
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,430
AND IF SHE WERE RELIABLE--
494
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,533
[doorbell rings]
495
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:48,040
HELLO, I'M LISA.
496
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,676
[breathlessly]
HI.
497
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,811
HI.
498
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,846
HI.
499
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:57,384
THIS IS MERLIN JONES,
500
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:58,418
AND I'M JENNIFER.
501
00:21:58,451 --> 00:21:59,686
HELLO, JENNIFER.
502
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,388
I'M SORRY
I'M A LITTLE LATE.
503
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,823
OH, YOU'RE NOT LATE.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
504
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:06,459
IN FACT,
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
505
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,428
(Jennifer)
I WONDER IF IT'S FAIR
506
00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:10,096
FOR LISA TO HAVE TO SIT
WITH STANLEY.
507
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:13,099
AFTER ALL, SHE IS A BABYSITTER.
STANLEY'S A CHIMP.
508
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:14,901
IT WAS YOUR IDEA
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
509
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:18,104
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I LOVE ANIMALS.
510
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:21,240
[laughs]
511
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,643
I'M SURE STANLEY
WILL LOVE YOU, TOO.
512
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,979
OH, HE'S ADORABLE.
AREN'T YOU, STANLEY?
513
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,849
WELL, STANLEY,
WHAT SHALL WE DO?
514
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,751
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO SING YOU TO SLEEP?
515
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:32,819
WHO WOULDN'T?
516
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,821
WHEN YOU'RE READY
FOR NIGHTY-NIGHT,
517
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,889
I'LL SING TO YOU
UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP.
518
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,961
[chuckles]
SOUNDS WONDERFUL.
519
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,697
I THINK WE SHOULD GO
TO THE DANCE RIGHT NOW.
520
00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:46,098
I'VE TYPED OUT
A FEW INSTRUCTIONS
521
00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:47,700
ABOUT STANLEY'S FOOD
AND EVERYTHING.
522
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:48,835
THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN.
523
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,437
I'M SURE LISA
CAN FIND THEM.
524
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:51,270
GOOD NIGHT, LISA.
525
00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:52,705
GOOD NIGHT, STANLEY.
GOOD NIGHT, LISA.
526
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,806
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
527
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,074
[door closes]
528
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:58,445
WELL, NOW, STANLEY, WHAT BEDTIME
STORY WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR?
529
00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,679
[door opens]
530
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,913
IF HIS EYES
LOOK A LITTLE BLOODSHOT,
531
00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:02,682
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
HE'S BEEN STUDYING--
532
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,984
[laughs]
533
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,819
[door opens]
534
00:23:06,853 --> 00:23:08,154
YOU CAN REACH ME
AT THE MU MU HOUSE,
535
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:09,589
AND DON'T HESITATE TO CALL--
536
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:16,829
[uptempo surf music]
537
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:24,871
*
538
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:31,110
MERLIN, THIS DANCE IS LIKE
A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME.
539
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,979
THE MU MUS
REALLY DO THINGS RIGHT.
540
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,714
THEY SURE SPEND MONEY,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
541
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,983
OH, IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
THEY KNOW HOW TO SPEND IT.
542
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:40,453
AND THEY TREAT US
LIKE ROYALTY.
543
00:23:40,487 --> 00:23:41,988
I WONDER
WHAT THEIR MOTIVE IS.
544
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,856
MERLIN,
THAT'S UNFAIR.
545
00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:45,692
MAYBE.
546
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,594
GOOD TO SEE YOU HERE,
JENNIFER.
THANK YOU.
547
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,728
SANDWICH?
NO, THANKS.
548
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:49,796
YOU TOO, MERLIN.
549
00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,998
YOU KNOW, YOU FIT HERE,
LIKE THE PAPER ON THE WALL.
550
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:53,466
SANDWICH?
THANKS.
551
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,768
GEE, I LIKE
YOUR DRESS.
WELL, THANK YOU.
552
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:58,705
YOU KNOW, JONES, WE REALLY DO
ADMIRE YOUR TASTE IN WOMEN.
553
00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:00,106
HAVE ANOTHER SANDWICH.
554
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:02,108
THANK YOU.
THEY SURE ARE GOOD.
555
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:03,242
[chuckles]
556
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,578
TELL ME, DID, UH, ANYONE
EVER TELL YOU
557
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:07,714
THAT YOU WERE,
UH, MU MU MATERIAL?
558
00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,582
NO ONE.
[clicks tongue]
559
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,651
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
560
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:12,985
WE ALL FEEL THE SAME WAY.
561
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,987
THAT'S WHY
WE'VE INVITED YOU HERE.
562
00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:18,257
THE MU MUS ARE EXCEEDINGLY
INTERESTED IN MERLIN JONES.
563
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,126
MERLIN,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
564
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:21,193
LET'S GO
IN THE TROPHY ROOM.
565
00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:23,596
IT'S MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE
THERE, AND WE CAN TALK.
566
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,131
EXCUSE US?
OF COURSE.
567
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,133
MAYBE WHILE THEY'RE
IN THERE TALKING BUSINESS,
568
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,868
I COULD TALK YOU
INTO A DANCE.
569
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,870
I'D LOVE TO.
GOOD.
570
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:33,873
[slow jazz music]
571
00:24:33,906 --> 00:24:35,742
SIT DOWN, MERLIN.
SIT DOWN.
572
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,577
WELL, THANK YOU.
573
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,245
NOW, THE REASON THAT WE'RE
INTERESTED IN YOU, MERLIN,
574
00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:41,714
IS BECAUSE WE HAVE ALWAYS HAD
THE CREAM OF THE CAMPUS--
575
00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:43,650
THE BEST ATHLETES,
THE BEST DANCERS,
576
00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:46,586
THE MOST SKILLED POLITICIANS,
THE MOST POPULAR MEN IN COLLEGE.
577
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:48,254
[chuckles]
WELL, WHERE DO I FIT IN?
578
00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,256
WE'D LIKE TO HAVE
THE BEST IN EVERYTHING,
579
00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:51,591
INCLUDING SCHOLARSHIP.
580
00:24:51,624 --> 00:24:53,125
WE'VE ALWAYS HAD
EIGHT OR TEN ATHLETES,
581
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,260
HALF A DOZEN POLITICIANS,
582
00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:55,728
THREE OR FOUR
OF EACH OF THE OTHERS,
583
00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:57,597
AND ONE STUDENT.
ONLY ONE?
584
00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:58,731
(Norman)
WE FIGURED
585
00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:01,200
ONE BRAIN IN THE CHAPTER
WAS ENOUGH.
586
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,234
[cough]
587
00:25:02,268 --> 00:25:04,136
WELL, IN A WAY, IT MAKES IT
EVEN MORE OF AN HONOR
588
00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,105
THAT WE'VE ASKED YOU TO BE
THE ONE BRAIN OF THE MU MUS.
589
00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:08,140
YES, I GUESS
IT IS AN HONOR.
590
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,842
OF COURSE, THERE'S
A LITTLE RESPONSIBILITY
591
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:10,843
THAT GOES ALONG
WITH IT.
592
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,279
WE'LL EXPECT YOU TO HELP
OUR KEY FOOTBALL PLAYERS
593
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:16,048
PASS THEIR EXAMS, SO THEY'LL
STAY ELIGIBLE FOR THE TEAM.
594
00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:18,250
SURE, I'LL BE HAPPY TO HELP THEM
STUDY ANYTIME THEY WISH.
595
00:25:18,284 --> 00:25:19,586
I, UH...
596
00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,588
I DON'T THINK YOU DIG
WHAT I'M SAYING.
597
00:25:21,621 --> 00:25:22,989
IT'S NORMAN AND LEON--
598
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,124
THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY
THE STUDIOUS TYPES.
599
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,863
WHA--WHAT DO YOU
EXPECT ME TO DO?
600
00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:32,331
IT WAS
JUDGE HOLMSBY'S IDEA.
601
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:35,735
HE TOLD US THAT YOU WERE
SORT OF, UH, INGENIOUS
602
00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:37,003
AND THAT YOU COULD, UH...
603
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:40,039
WELL, UH,
FIX THINGS UP FOR THEM.
604
00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:43,009
IF YOU MEAN CRIBBING,
NOW, THAT'S OUT,
605
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:46,713
BECAUSE CHEATING ON EXAMS IS
JUST AS DISHONEST AS STEALING.
606
00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:48,280
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE,
MERLIN.
607
00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:50,016
THE JUDGE SAID
THAT YOU WERE SO INGENIOUS
608
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,885
THAT YOU COULD FIGURE OUT
AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT.
609
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:54,621
AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT?
610
00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,688
SURE.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
611
00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:57,890
NO ONE WOULD PUT YOU AND NORMAN
IN THE RING TOGETHER
612
00:25:57,924 --> 00:26:00,092
TO SLUG IT OUT
BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR.
613
00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:03,730
WE COULD TRY IT.
[laughs]
614
00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:04,731
BUT THEY PUT YOU
IN THE SAME CLASSROOM.
615
00:26:04,764 --> 00:26:05,732
THEY GIVE YOU
THE SAME EXAMS.
616
00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:06,733
IS THAT FAIR?
617
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:08,635
NO, IT ISN'T.
618
00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:09,869
IN THE RING,
NORMAN'S A HEAVYWEIGHT,
619
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,003
AND YOU'RE
A MIDDLEWEIGHT.
620
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:12,605
IN THE CLASSROOM,
YOU'RE A HEAVYWEIGHT,
621
00:26:12,639 --> 00:26:14,173
AND NORMAN'S A FLYWEIGHT.
622
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:17,744
WHAT WE'RE ASKING YOU TO DO
IS FIGHT INJUSTICE.
623
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,145
LOOK, I'M WILLING
TO HELP ANYONE
624
00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:20,880
WHO WANTS TO STUDY
FOR HIS EXAMS.
625
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,016
BUT IF HE CAN'T STUDY
OR IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO STUDY,
626
00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,719
THEN WHAT'S HE DOING
IN COLLEGE, ANYWAY?
627
00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,021
[music continues]
628
00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:32,191
HE DOESN'T HAVE A MU MU BONE
IN HIS BODY.
629
00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,161
THEY WERE SO NICE TO YOU.
630
00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:37,029
IT WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU
TO HELP THEM.
631
00:26:37,063 --> 00:26:38,631
WELL, I DID OFFER
TO HELP THEM STUDY,
632
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,032
BUT THEY WANTED ME
TO CHEAT FOR THEM.
633
00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,734
AND THAT'S AGAINST
YOUR PRINCIPLES, OF COURSE,
634
00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:43,736
SO NOW YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO BE A MU MU.
635
00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,105
WELL, DOES IT MEAN
THAT MUCH TO YOU?
YES, IT DOES.
636
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:48,407
I MEAN, A GIRL LIKES TO GO
TO A DANCE ONCE IN A WHILE,
637
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,409
INSTEAD OF SPENDING
EVERY NIGHT OF HER LIFE
638
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,745
WATCHING
SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS.
639
00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:54,413
AND, ANYWAY, YOU SAID
THEY WANTED YOU TO INVENT
640
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,381
AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT.
641
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:58,317
HOW COULD I EVER INVENT
A THING LIKE THAT?
642
00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,022
MERLIN.
643
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:04,423
HMM?
644
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,759
I BELIEVE
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
645
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:09,428
IF YOU REALLY
PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.
646
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,297
YOU REALLY THINK
I CAN?
647
00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:13,332
I KNOW YOU CAN.
648
00:27:20,206 --> 00:27:22,441
(Merlin)
BUT, JUDGE, IT WILL WORK.
I'M CERTAIN OF IT.
649
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:23,876
AND IT'S HONEST CHEATING,
650
00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:25,411
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER
HOW YOU LEARN,
651
00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,146
SO LONG
AS YOU DO LEARN.
652
00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,681
SLEEP LEARNING?
653
00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,017
IT'S AN APPLICATION
OF A SOUND SCIENTIFIC CONCEPT.
654
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:32,418
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT
EITHER.
655
00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,053
IT WORKED WONDERS
WITH STANLEY.
656
00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:36,422
YEAH, BUT STANLEY'S
AN INTELLIGENT CHIMP.
657
00:27:36,455 --> 00:27:39,792
THE QUESTION IS,
WILL IT WORK WITH, UH...
658
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,160
THESE TWO.
659
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,094
(Merlin)
IN WORLD WAR II,
660
00:27:42,128 --> 00:27:43,896
THEY USED IT TO TEACH
FOREIGN LANGUAGES
661
00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,164
TO MEN WHO HAD TO LEARN THEM
IN A HURRY.
662
00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:47,433
BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO LEARN
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
663
00:27:47,466 --> 00:27:48,901
WE HAVE TO LEARN
ENGLISH.
664
00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:51,303
BUT ENGLISH
IS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
665
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,005
WELL, ENGLAND'S
A FOREIGN COUNTRY, ISN'T IT?
666
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:56,042
[sighs]
YOU HAVE TO LEARN
ENGLISH LITERATURE.
667
00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:57,176
(Judge Holmsby)
I'M ALL
668
00:27:57,209 --> 00:27:58,778
FOR GOING AHEAD
WITH MERLIN'S IDEA.
669
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:01,180
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
WE HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE.
670
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,183
AND IN THE SECOND PLACE...
671
00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:06,685
WELL, THERE'S
NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
672
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,289
I HAD JENNIFER RECORD
ALL THE INFORMATION YOU'LL NEED
673
00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:11,891
FOR TOMORROW'S
ENGLISH-LIT CLASS.
674
00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:12,825
I...
[chuckles]
675
00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:14,426
I WAS SURE YOU'D PREFER
HER VOICE TO MINE.
676
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,295
WELL, YOU'RE DARN RIGHT
WE WOULD.
677
00:28:16,328 --> 00:28:19,031
HEY, MERLIN, WHAT DO WE DO
WHILE THIS IS ALL GOING ON?
678
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:21,300
YOU JUST SLEEP.
HEY, NO KIDDING.
[chuckles]
679
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:24,436
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I'M GOOD AT, IT'S SLEEPING.
680
00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:25,838
WELL, EVERYTHING'S SET.
681
00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:26,906
GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS.
GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN.
682
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:27,907
GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN.
GOOD NIGHT.
683
00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:29,175
HEY, MERLIN?
YES, NORM?
684
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:30,743
YOU SURE YOU EXPLAINED
TO ALL THE GUYS
685
00:28:30,777 --> 00:28:32,211
ABOUT THESE THINGS
ON OUR HEADS?
686
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:34,480
OH, I'M SURE. THEY ALL KNOW IT'S
PART OF THE FOOTBALL EFFORT.
687
00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:36,315
GOOD. I DON'T WANT
ANY TROUBLE
688
00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,250
FROM THE WISE GUYS
AROUND HERE.
689
00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:40,052
OH, SURE, SURE.
GOOD NIGHT.
690
00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,420
(Leon)
HEY, MERLIN?
691
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:42,354
YES, LEON?
692
00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:44,924
YOU THINK WE MIGHT END UP
WITH WAVY HAIR?
693
00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:46,425
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
694
00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:48,094
GO TO SLEEP, WILL YOU?
GOOD NIGHT.
695
00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:49,095
(Leon)
GOOD NIGHT, MERLIN.
696
00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,362
HEY, MERLIN?
697
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:52,531
YES, NORM?
698
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,201
I WANT A DRINK
OF WATER.
699
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,804
NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE!
GOOD NIGHT!
700
00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:18,057
[Jennifer on record]
THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD
701
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,492
TAKES ITS NAME
FROM ELIZABETH I,
702
00:29:20,526 --> 00:29:25,798
WHO WAS QUEEN OF ENGLAND
FROM 1558 TO 1603.
703
00:29:25,832 --> 00:29:27,466
THE OUTSTANDING LITERARY...
704
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:30,302
FURTHERMORE, GEOFFREY CHAUCER
WAS THE FIRST ENGLISH POET
705
00:29:30,336 --> 00:29:32,271
TO USE
THE IAMBIC PENTAMETER.
706
00:29:32,304 --> 00:29:36,042
AND LATER ON, HE DEVELOPED
MANY COMPLICATED STANZA FORMS,
707
00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:38,444
THE MOST FAMOUS OF WHICH
WAS THE SEVEN-LINE STANZA,
708
00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:39,812
OR THE RHYME ROYAL.
709
00:29:39,846 --> 00:29:44,250
THANK YOU, MERLIN.
THAT'S QUITE CORRECT.
710
00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:46,285
NORMAN.
711
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,586
YES, SIR.
712
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,021
TELL ME WHAT WE MEAN
713
00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,157
WHEN WE SPEAK
OF THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD.
714
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:53,325
THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD, SIR.
715
00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:54,593
THAT'S RIGHT.
716
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,162
UH, WHAT IS THE SOURCE
OF ITS NAME
717
00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:58,865
AND WHAT PERIOD
IT COVERS.
718
00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,299
AND TELL US WHO SOME
719
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,902
OF THE OUTSTANDING LITERARY
FIGURES OF THAT ERA WERE.
720
00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:05,604
[Jennifer's voice]
THE ELIZABETHAN PERIOD
721
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,040
TAKES ITS NAME
FROM ELIZABETH I,
722
00:30:08,074 --> 00:30:09,608
WHO WAS QUEEN
OF ENGLAND
723
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:11,210
FROM 1558
724
00:30:11,243 --> 00:30:13,412
TO 1603.
725
00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:15,581
THE OUTSTANDING
LITERARY FIGURE
726
00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:18,584
[laughter]
OF THAT TIME
WAS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE,
727
00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:19,919
WHOSE PLAYS AND SONNETS
728
00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:24,156
ARE AMONG THE GREATEST GLORIES
OF ENGLISH LITERATURE.
729
00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:25,457
[laughter continues]
OTHER WRITERS
730
00:30:25,491 --> 00:30:28,160
WHOSE SOARING IMAGINATION
AND VERBAL FELICITY
731
00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,562
ENRICHED THIS PERIOD
732
00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:33,432
ARE BEN JONSON,
CHRISTOPER MARLOWE,
733
00:30:33,465 --> 00:30:36,068
[laughter intensifies]
EDMUND SPENCER,
FRANCIS BACON,
734
00:30:36,102 --> 00:30:39,305
SIR PHILIP SYDNEY,
BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER,
735
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,372
AND A HOST
736
00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,108
OF DISTINGUISHED POETS,
PLAYWRIGHTS--
737
00:30:42,141 --> 00:30:44,343
THAT'S ENOUGH!
738
00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:54,921
BUT, JUDGE, I WASN'T TRYING
TO BE FUNNY OR ANYTHING.
739
00:30:54,954 --> 00:30:56,188
IT JUST CAME OUT
THAT WAY.
740
00:30:56,222 --> 00:30:57,189
MOST UNFORTUNATE.
741
00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:58,390
NOW THE PROFESSOR'S
SO MAD,
742
00:30:58,424 --> 00:31:00,459
THEY'LL HAVE TO GET 90 OR BETTER
ON THE EXAM JUST TO PASS.
743
00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:01,493
90?
744
00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:04,130
BUT THE THING IS,
THEY KNEW THE RIGHT ANSWERS.
745
00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:05,164
(Judge Holmsby)
DID YOU?
746
00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:08,534
EVERY WORD. IT JUST CAME OUT
IN THE WRONG VOICE.
747
00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,937
AND ON THE WRITTEN EXAM,
THERE WON'T BE THAT PROBLEM.
748
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:12,571
BUT 90%.
749
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:31,457
BEGIN.
750
00:32:40,392 --> 00:32:43,395
[beeping]
751
00:33:01,247 --> 00:33:03,082
OH, MAN,
WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!
752
00:33:03,115 --> 00:33:04,750
YOU READ THE QUESTION,
AND--AND POW, RIGHT THERE.
753
00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:06,752
THE ANSWER'S
RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HEAD.
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
754
00:33:06,785 --> 00:33:09,121
AND YOU'RE SURE
YOU GOT 90% RIGHT?
755
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:10,522
OH, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
756
00:33:10,556 --> 00:33:12,224
THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED
TO PASS THE COURSE
757
00:33:12,258 --> 00:33:13,625
AND STAY ELIGIBLE
FOR FOOTBALL.
758
00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:15,294
WELL, I GOT 100% RIGHT!
759
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,329
100%?
YEAH.
760
00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:19,565
ME TOO!
I KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS!
761
00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:21,600
THAT'S WONDERFUL!
MERLIN!
762
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,769
MERLIN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WHAT YOU'VE DONE
763
00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:25,637
WILL LIVE
IN MU MU HISTORY FOREVER.
764
00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,639
[all cheering]
765
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:28,740
THE WAY I SEE IT,
766
00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:31,643
THE REAL FOOTBALL HERO
OF MIDVALE IS MERLIN JONES.
767
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:34,046
[all cheering]
768
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,248
I DON'T MEAN TO KNOCK NORMAN
OR LEON OR ANYONE,
769
00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:38,084
BUT THEY WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE
TO PLAY FOOTBALL
770
00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,218
IF IT WASN'T FOR MERLIN.
771
00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:40,286
AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW
772
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:41,753
THAT I'VE HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM
FROM THE START.
773
00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:43,155
I KNEW HE'D COME THROUGH,
AND HE HAS!
774
00:33:43,189 --> 00:33:46,192
[all cheering]
775
00:33:49,328 --> 00:33:50,762
FROM NOW ON,
YOU MUST THINK OF MERLIN
776
00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:53,365
AS BELONGING TO MIDVALE
AND NOT JUST TO YOU.
777
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,101
OH, I DON'T
REALLY MIND.
778
00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:57,236
ONLY HE DOESN'T HAVE
TO ENJOY IT SO.
779
00:33:57,269 --> 00:33:59,371
[telephone ringing]
EXCUSE ME.
780
00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:02,774
HELLO?
OH, HI, HENRY.
781
00:34:02,808 --> 00:34:05,111
QUIET, EVERYONE!
QUIET!
782
00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:06,278
THIS IS IT.
783
00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,779
THAT'S
THE ENGLISH LIT GRADES.
784
00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:09,515
WE GOT A CONTACT
THAT PHONES US THE RESULTS
785
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:11,117
AS SOON AS THE PAPERS
ARE MARKED.
786
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:12,184
THAT'S GREAT.
787
00:34:12,218 --> 00:34:15,354
OKAY, LET'S START
WITH LEON.
788
00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,356
LEON, "F."
"F"?!
789
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,691
(all)
"F"?!
790
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,529
ARE YOU SURE?
791
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,431
WELL, WHAT ABOUT NORMAN?
792
00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:28,834
NORMAN, "F"?
793
00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:32,671
[all murmuring]
794
00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:34,306
WHAT?! AN "F"
795
00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:35,507
FOR MERLIN JONES?!
796
00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:38,610
[murmuring]
797
00:34:38,644 --> 00:34:42,648
NORMAN, MERLIN, AND LEON--
YES, I'LL TELL THEM.
798
00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:46,252
WIPE THAT LIPSTICK
OFF YOUR FACE, STUPID.
799
00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:49,655
YOU'RE WANTED IN
THE REGENTS' OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
800
00:34:54,293 --> 00:34:55,794
NOW, PROFESSOR,
WHEN DID YOU FIRST LEARN
801
00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:58,397
OF THE CONSPIRACY TO CHEAT
ON THE ENGLISH LIT EXAM?
802
00:34:58,430 --> 00:35:00,266
JUST A MINUTE--
THAT'S A LEADING QUESTION,
803
00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:02,501
WHICH PRESUMES THE GUILT
OF THE DEFENDANTS.
804
00:35:02,534 --> 00:35:03,769
NOW, THE CORRECT
LEGAL PROCEDURE--
805
00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:06,572
YOU HAVE MADE YOUR OBJECTION,
JUDGE HOLMSBY,
806
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:08,907
AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN
LEGAL PROCEDURE TO ME.
807
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,643
OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE AN ATTORNEY.
808
00:35:11,677 --> 00:35:15,647
I'M NOT, BUT I WATCH ALL OF
THE LAWYER SHOWS ON TELEVISION.
809
00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:17,249
WELL, I SUPPOSE
THAT'S BETTER
810
00:35:17,283 --> 00:35:18,517
THAN WATCHING
ALL THE DOCTOR SHOWS
811
00:35:18,550 --> 00:35:19,785
AND GOING AROUND
PERFORMING OPERATIONS.
812
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:20,786
[laughs]
813
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:23,389
[both laugh]
814
00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:24,890
[laughter stops]
815
00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:26,925
WOULD YOU MIND LETTING
THE WITNESS ANSWER THE QUESTION?
816
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,894
NOT AT ALL.
HMM.
817
00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:30,662
WELL, PROFESSOR?
818
00:35:30,696 --> 00:35:32,931
DURING THE EXAMINATION,
819
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:36,268
THE INSTRUCTOR BECAME SUSPICIOUS
OF CERTAIN MOVEMENTS
820
00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:37,769
THAT WERE BEING MADE
BY MERLIN JONES.
821
00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:40,739
THE INSTRUCTOR
CONTACTED ME
822
00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:42,408
IN MY PLACE
OF CONCEALMENT,
823
00:35:42,441 --> 00:35:43,909
AND I PHOTOGRAPHED MR. JONES
824
00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:45,911
GIVING SIGNALS
TO OTHER STUDENTS.
825
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:48,647
ARE THESE
THE PHOTOGRAPHS?
826
00:35:52,418 --> 00:35:54,386
THEY ARE.
EXHIBIT "A."
827
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:57,789
WAS THERE ANY EVIDENCE TO
CONVINCE YOU OF YOUR SUSPICIONS?
828
00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,258
THERE WAS, INDEED.
829
00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:00,659
AND WHAT
WAS THAT EVIDENCE?
830
00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,394
WHEN THE INSTRUCTOR
GRADED THE PAPERS,
831
00:36:02,428 --> 00:36:05,731
HE FOUND THAT TWO OTHER STUDENTS
HAD WRITTEN ANSWERS
832
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:07,533
THAT WERE
WORD-FOR-WORD THE SAME
833
00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:09,535
AS THOSE
OF MERLIN JONES.
834
00:36:09,568 --> 00:36:11,237
"WORD-FOR-WORD
835
00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:14,506
THE SAME AS THOSE
OF MERLIN JONES."
836
00:36:14,540 --> 00:36:16,442
YOUR WITNESS.
837
00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:19,711
NO QUESTIONS
AT THIS TIME.
838
00:36:19,745 --> 00:36:21,513
THANK YOU, PROFESSOR.
839
00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:27,619
I NOW CALL MERLIN JONES.
840
00:36:27,653 --> 00:36:30,222
[door closes]
841
00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:38,530
YOU ARE A VERY CLEVER
YOUNG MAN, MR. JONES.
842
00:36:38,564 --> 00:36:39,931
AND I WANT
TO CONGRATULATE YOU
843
00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:41,800
ON THE INGENIOUS CODE
YOU WORKED OUT.
844
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,935
I'D LIKE YOU
TO EXPLAIN IT TO US.
845
00:36:43,969 --> 00:36:47,005
NOW, UH, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN--
SCRATCHING YOUR EAR?
846
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,774
IT MEANS MY EAR ITCHED.
847
00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:50,542
YOUR EAR ITCHED?
848
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:51,610
DOES IT ITCH OFTEN?
849
00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:54,513
[chuckles]
NO. IT DOESN'T.
850
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,581
MM-HMM.
851
00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:58,950
NOW, WHY SHOULD YOUR EAR
CONVENIENTLY PICK EXAM TIME
852
00:36:58,984 --> 00:36:59,818
TO START ITCHING?
853
00:36:59,851 --> 00:37:02,821
WELL, I SUPPOSE
I COULD'VE BEEN NERVOUS.
854
00:37:02,854 --> 00:37:04,290
THAT MIGHT HAVE CAUSED IT.
855
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,491
NERVOUS.
[chuckles]
856
00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,659
NOW, WHY SHOULD
A GOOD STUDENT LIKE YOU
857
00:37:07,693 --> 00:37:09,928
BE NERVOUS
OVER AN ENGLISH LIT EXAM?
858
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:12,531
UNLESS YOU WERE WORRIED
THAT SOMEONE MIGHT CATCH YOU
859
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,700
SIGNALING THE ANSWERS
TO THE OTHER TWO.
860
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:18,003
THAT ISN'T IT AT ALL!
I WAS NERVOUS BECAUSE--
861
00:37:18,036 --> 00:37:18,870
NEVER MIND,
MR. JONES.
862
00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:21,507
WE UNDERSTAND.
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.
863
00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:23,375
JUDGE HOLMSBY?
864
00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:25,977
NO QUESTIONS
AT THIS TIME.
865
00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,946
YOU MAY STEP DOWN.
866
00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:31,950
YOU HAVE JUST HEARD
FROM THE MASTERMIND.
867
00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:33,585
WE WILL NOW HEAR
868
00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:37,323
FROM LEON AND NORMAN,
HIS PARTNERS IN CRIME.
869
00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:38,690
OH, NO SELF-RESPECTING
TELEVISION ATTORNEY
870
00:37:38,724 --> 00:37:40,359
WOULD LET YOU GET AWAY
WITH THAT ONE.
871
00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:43,695
LOOK AT THEM,
GENTLEMEN.
872
00:37:43,729 --> 00:37:47,666
DO THEY LOOK LIKE STUDENTS
WHO WOULD GET GRADES OF 100%
873
00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,635
IN ENGLISH LITERATURE?
874
00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:52,471
DO THEY LOOK CAPABLE
OF TURNING IN
875
00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:54,440
PERFECT EXAM PAPERS?
876
00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,542
IF THE CHARGE AGAINST THESE MEN
WAS LOOKING STUPID,
877
00:37:56,575 --> 00:37:58,076
I WOULDN'T BE HERE
DEFENDING THEM.
878
00:37:58,109 --> 00:38:01,680
AND IF MIDVALE HAD A REGULATION
AGAINST MEN LOOKING STUPID,
879
00:38:01,713 --> 00:38:04,416
WE MIGHT LOSE HALF
THE STUDENT BODY
880
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:08,987
AND AT LEAST ONE MEMBER
OF THE BOARD OF REGENTS AS WELL.
881
00:38:10,822 --> 00:38:12,824
I HAVE TOTALED UP
882
00:38:12,858 --> 00:38:15,093
THE ENTIRE NUMBER OF HOURS
IN THE DAY
883
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,696
WHICH YOU SPEND IN CLASS,
884
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:20,699
UH, AT FOOTBALL PRACTICE,
885
00:38:20,732 --> 00:38:22,568
ON MEALS,
886
00:38:22,601 --> 00:38:24,102
ON SLEEP--
887
00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:26,672
23 HOURS.
888
00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:30,409
THAT LEAVES YOU
ONE WHOLE HOUR TO WASTE.
889
00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:31,910
YEAH, YOU GOT TO DO
A LITTLE GOOFING OFF.
890
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:32,911
[both laugh]
891
00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:34,946
AND WHEN
DO YOU FIND TIME
892
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:36,782
TO STUDY
YOUR ENGLISH LIT?
893
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,684
WHEN WE'RE ASLEEP.
894
00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:40,786
THIS IS NO TIME
FOR FACETIOUSNESS.
895
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:43,855
I ASKED
WHEN DO YOU STUDY
896
00:38:43,889 --> 00:38:45,090
FOR YOUR
ENGLISH LIT EXAMS?
897
00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,826
HE TOLD YOU--
WHEN WE'RE ASLEEP.
898
00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:49,561
HMM.
899
00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:54,700
YOU STUDY YOUR ENGLISH LIT
WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP.
900
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:55,801
THAT'S ALL.
901
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,836
JUST A MINUTE.
902
00:38:57,869 --> 00:38:59,971
UH, I DON'T BELIEVE
MR. DEARBORNE BELIEVES YOU
903
00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:02,708
WHEN YOU SAID YOU STUDIED
FOR YOUR ENGLISH LIT EXAMS
904
00:39:02,741 --> 00:39:03,842
WHILE YOU SLEPT.
905
00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:04,943
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
906
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,446
JUDGE HOLMSBY AND I
HAVE EVER AGREED ON ANYTHING.
907
00:39:07,479 --> 00:39:10,682
WILL YOU EXPLAIN HOW YOU STUDIED
FOR YOUR ENGLISH LIT EXAMS
908
00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:11,717
IN MORE DETAIL, PLEASE?
909
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:15,053
WELL, THERE ARE THESE THINGS
ATTACHED TO OUR HEADS.
910
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:17,122
I BELIEVE
THEY'RE CALLED EARS.
911
00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:19,958
NO, THESE THINGS
HAD WIRES CONNECTED TO THEM.
912
00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:22,694
AND MERLIN MADE A RECORD,
AND WHILE WE SLEPT,
913
00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:24,830
THIS RECORD PLAYED
OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
914
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,832
AND WHEN WE WOKE UP,
WELL, WE KNEW IT.
915
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,567
IT'S BECAUSE MERLIN JONES
TAUGHT THEM
916
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:29,535
BY WAY OF SLEEP LEARNING
917
00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:31,670
THAT ALL THREE
OF THEIR EXAM PAPERS WERE ALIKE.
918
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:33,104
DO YOU EXPECT US
TO BELIEVE
919
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,173
A COCK-AND-BULL STORY
LIKE THAT?
920
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,108
MERLIN HAS BEEN EDUCATING
A CHIMPANZEE
921
00:39:37,142 --> 00:39:38,444
THROUGH SLEEP LEARNING.
922
00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:39,578
A CHIMPANZEE.
923
00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:41,112
YES, A CHIMPANZEE.
924
00:39:41,146 --> 00:39:43,415
SO HE DECIDED
TO USE SLEEP LEARNING
925
00:39:43,449 --> 00:39:46,618
WHEN THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS
NEEDED AN HONEST WAY TO CHEAT.
926
00:39:46,652 --> 00:39:47,853
CHEAT! THERE, YOU SAID
IT YOURSELF.
927
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,788
SLEEP LEARNING OR NOT,
IT IS CHEATING.
928
00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:51,089
I SAID AN HONEST WAY
TO CHEAT.
929
00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:52,458
THERE IS
NO SUCH THING!
930
00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:53,492
AND I SAY THERE IS!
931
00:39:53,525 --> 00:39:55,727
DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU LEARN
AS LONG AS YOU LEARN!
932
00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:58,897
HOLMSBY, YOU ARE
A PIGHEADED OLD FOOL!
933
00:39:58,930 --> 00:40:01,066
GENTLEMEN,
GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
934
00:40:01,099 --> 00:40:04,436
GENTLEMEN, I THINK
IT MIGHT BE WISER
935
00:40:04,470 --> 00:40:06,572
IF WE DISMISSED
OUR WITNESSES
936
00:40:06,605 --> 00:40:09,040
AND CONTINUED
OUR LITTLE CONVERSATION
937
00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,710
IN PRIVATE.
938
00:40:19,485 --> 00:40:20,986
LOOKS BAD, HUH?
939
00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:23,855
WELL, ALL THE SAME,
I-I WANT TO THANK YOU, MERLIN.
940
00:40:23,889 --> 00:40:25,991
THANKS FOR WHAT,
FOR GETTING US EXPELLED?
941
00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:28,594
IF YOU KNOW ANYONE
WHO WANTS TO HIRE A TRUCK DRIVER
942
00:40:28,627 --> 00:40:30,996
WHO KNOWS A LOT
ABOUT ENGLISH LITERATURE,
943
00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:33,699
LET ME KNOW.
944
00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,801
THE IMPORTANT THING, MERLIN,
IS YOU TRIED.
945
00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,704
IF I HADN'T TRIED,
WE'D ALL STILL BE IN COLLEGE.
946
00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:40,105
WELL, WE'RE NOT
EXPELLED YET.
947
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:42,841
WELL, THE JUDGE IS STILL
IN THERE FIGHTING FOR US.
948
00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:44,242
WELL, LISTEN, MERLIN,
949
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:47,979
ALL THE BRAINS I EVER KNEW
BEFORE YOU WERE KIND OF SNOBS,
950
00:40:48,013 --> 00:40:49,247
BUT NOT YOU.
951
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,850
W-WELL, YOU'RE JUST LIKE
A REGULAR STUPID FELLA,
952
00:40:51,883 --> 00:40:54,252
AND THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT YOU.
953
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:56,121
THANKS, LEON.
954
00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:58,990
WELL, COME ON, LET'S GO
BACK TO THE MU MU HOUSE.
955
00:40:59,024 --> 00:41:02,127
NO, I BETTER GET HOME.
I LEFT STANLEY WITH A SITTER.
956
00:41:06,632 --> 00:41:08,600
AND WHEN WILL THE HEAD
OF THE GREEK DEPARTMENT
957
00:41:08,634 --> 00:41:10,602
BE PAID AS MUCH
AS THE FOOTBALL COACH?
958
00:41:10,636 --> 00:41:12,871
JUST AS SOON
AS YOU SEE 50,000 PEOPLE
959
00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:14,740
CHEERING
A GREEK RECITATION.
960
00:41:14,773 --> 00:41:16,975
A COLLEGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE
A PLACE OF LEARNING.
961
00:41:17,008 --> 00:41:20,579
THE ONLY QUESTION IS WHETHER
TO EXPEL THESE STUDENTS.
962
00:41:20,612 --> 00:41:22,113
IF THEY'RE GUILTY,
I AM, TOO.
963
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,049
I URGED MERLIN
TO DO WHAT HE DID.
964
00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,250
AND IF YOU WERE
A STUDENT,
965
00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:26,918
I WOULD VOTE
TO KICK YOU OUT, TOO.
966
00:41:26,952 --> 00:41:28,119
WELL, IF THEY'RE
KICKED OUT,
967
00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:30,055
I'M QUITTING
THE BOARD OF REGENTS.
968
00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:32,123
THAT IS THE BEST ARGUMENT
FOR EXPELLING THEM
969
00:41:32,157 --> 00:41:33,559
THAT I HAVE HEARD YET!
970
00:41:33,592 --> 00:41:34,560
NOW, LISTEN!
NOW, LISTEN!
971
00:41:34,593 --> 00:41:35,627
GENTLEMEN!
972
00:41:35,661 --> 00:41:38,864
GENTLEMEN, YOU'VE MADE
YOUR POSITION VERY CLEAR.
973
00:41:38,897 --> 00:41:40,866
WE WILL NOW VOTE...
974
00:41:40,899 --> 00:41:43,268
QUIETLY, CALMLY...
975
00:41:43,301 --> 00:41:45,904
AND WITHOUT PREJUDICE.
976
00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:57,583
[whispering]
DID YOU HAVE A NICE EVENING?
977
00:41:57,616 --> 00:41:59,250
[whispering]
WELL, I FLUNKED ENGLISH LIT.
978
00:41:59,284 --> 00:42:01,953
I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF CHEATING,
AND I MAY GET EXPELLED
979
00:42:01,987 --> 00:42:02,854
FROM COLLEGE.
980
00:42:02,888 --> 00:42:04,856
OUTSIDE OF THAT,
I HAD A VERY NICE EVENING.
981
00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:05,691
HOW AWFUL.
982
00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:07,993
THE SLEEP LEARNING IDEA
BOOMERANGED.
983
00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:10,596
BUT IT'S DONE SO MUCH
FOR STANLEY.
984
00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:12,864
I KNOW.
985
00:42:12,898 --> 00:42:15,133
MERLIN, MAY I TRY IT?
986
00:42:15,166 --> 00:42:16,134
WHAT?
987
00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,736
THE SLEEP LEARNING.
988
00:42:17,769 --> 00:42:19,137
OH, I REALLY
DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,
989
00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:21,006
BUT IT'S
TERRIBLY INTRIGUING.
990
00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,608
[sighs]
991
00:42:22,641 --> 00:42:24,610
PLEASE, MERLIN.
992
00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:26,645
AW, ALL RIGHT.
993
00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,183
[clock ticking]
994
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,985
[alarm ringing]
995
00:42:34,019 --> 00:42:37,889
(Merlin)
WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK RINGS,
TURN IT OFF.
996
00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:38,957
[ringing stops]
997
00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:41,292
GET OUT OF BED.
998
00:42:43,995 --> 00:42:46,698
TURN ON THE COFFEE.
999
00:42:46,732 --> 00:42:48,133
[doorbell rings]
1000
00:42:49,635 --> 00:42:52,137
OH, YOU POOR DARLING,
SITTING HERE ALONE
1001
00:42:52,170 --> 00:42:53,138
AT A TIME LIKE THIS!
1002
00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:54,205
PUT OUT THE CAT.
1003
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:55,741
I CAME OVER
JUST AS SOON AS I HEARD.
1004
00:42:55,774 --> 00:42:57,008
I THOUGHT OF YOU LONELY
AND DESPERATE.
1005
00:42:57,042 --> 00:42:59,177
OH, YOU NEEDED ME,
DIDN'T YOU, MERLIN?
1006
00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:01,379
[meows]
THEY CAN'T DO THIS
TO YOU.
1007
00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:02,981
TAKE A SHOWER,
BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
1008
00:43:03,014 --> 00:43:04,716
OF ALL THE PEOPLE I'VE EVER
KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE,
1009
00:43:04,750 --> 00:43:05,884
YOU ARE THE MOST
STRAIGHTFORWARD,
1010
00:43:05,917 --> 00:43:09,220
ABOVEBOARD,
HIGH-MINDED...
1011
00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:13,291
[door closes]
1012
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:18,029
TWO-FACED, DOUBLE-DEALING CAT
I'VE EVER KNOWN!
1013
00:43:18,063 --> 00:43:20,666
[water running]
1014
00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:25,671
ALL RIGHT, LISA,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1015
00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:28,273
OH, HELLO. W-WE WERE
JUST CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT.
1016
00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:30,008
YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING
CHIMPSITTER,
1017
00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:31,209
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN
WHAT YOU WERE UP TO!
1018
00:43:31,242 --> 00:43:32,377
THE EXPERIMENT'S OVER!
1019
00:43:32,410 --> 00:43:33,712
JEN, LET ME EXPLAIN.
1020
00:43:33,745 --> 00:43:34,846
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
1021
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:35,847
IT'S QUITE CLEAR
WHAT'S GOING ON.
1022
00:43:35,881 --> 00:43:36,848
I RESENT THAT!
1023
00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:38,884
OH, YOU DO, DO YOU?!
YES, I DO!
1024
00:43:38,917 --> 00:43:41,086
[both shouting]
(Merlin)
PLEASE, GIRLS!
1025
00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:43,722
STOP YOUR YELLING AND SHOUTING.
YOU'LL UPSET STANLEY.
1026
00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:47,025
SO THAT'S IT?
ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS STANLEY.
1027
00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,894
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT, JENNIFER.
1028
00:43:48,927 --> 00:43:50,729
HE HASN'T GIVEN A THOUGHT
TO MY FEELINGS
1029
00:43:50,762 --> 00:43:51,730
OR YOURS.
1030
00:43:51,763 --> 00:43:53,131
THAT'S JUST IT, LISA.
1031
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:54,432
AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
HE CAN TAKE STANLEY,
1032
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:55,901
AND BOTH GO
BACK TO THE JUNGLE!
1033
00:43:55,934 --> 00:43:57,235
I'M FOR THAT, TOO!
1034
00:43:57,268 --> 00:43:58,804
BUT, JEN!
1035
00:43:58,837 --> 00:44:00,972
ISN'T IT RIDICULOUS
THE WAY HE PAMPERS HIM?
1036
00:44:01,006 --> 00:44:03,274
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,
AND I'LL BE GLAD TO TESTIFY
1037
00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:06,111
THAT HE'S NOT A FIT GUARDIAN
FOR A CHIMPANZEE.
1038
00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:07,645
[Stanley chattering]
1039
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:10,882
STANLEY,
PEOPLE ARE DIFFICULT.
1040
00:44:10,916 --> 00:44:11,883
[car door closes]
1041
00:44:11,917 --> 00:44:13,985
YOU TRY AND DO YOUR BEST
FOR THEM, AND THEN...
1042
00:44:14,019 --> 00:44:15,887
[chattering]
SUDDENLY...
1043
00:44:20,892 --> 00:44:23,762
OH, NO, STANLEY.
NOT YOU, TOO.
1044
00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,897
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE, STANLEY,
1045
00:44:25,931 --> 00:44:27,332
TO FEEL THE WHOLE WORLD'S
AGAINST YOU?
1046
00:44:27,365 --> 00:44:28,333
[chatters softly]
1047
00:44:28,366 --> 00:44:30,769
I TRIED TO HELP
THE FOOTBALL TEAM AND FAILED.
1048
00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:34,039
NOW EVERYONE
ON CAMPUS HATES ME.
1049
00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:35,741
BUT I GUESS
IT DOESN'T MATTER,
1050
00:44:35,774 --> 00:44:37,175
BECAUSE I WON'T EVEN BE
ON CAMPUS.
1051
00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:39,410
I'M BEING EXPELLED
FROM MIDVALE,
1052
00:44:39,444 --> 00:44:43,248
KICKED OUT
IN DISGRACE.
1053
00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:45,884
AND JENNIFER...
1054
00:44:45,917 --> 00:44:48,319
SHE'S TURNED
AGAINST ME, TOO.
1055
00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:52,023
YOU'RE ALL
I HAVE LEFT, STANLEY,
1056
00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:54,960
ALL I HAVE LEFT.
1057
00:44:57,295 --> 00:45:00,298
[chattering]
1058
00:45:03,468 --> 00:45:06,471
[telephone ringing]
1059
00:45:08,073 --> 00:45:10,909
HELLO?
1060
00:45:10,942 --> 00:45:13,011
[sighs]
YES, JUDGE HOLMSBY.
1061
00:45:13,044 --> 00:45:15,513
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME OVER
TO MY HOUSE RIGHT AWAY.
1062
00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:18,483
BUT, SIR, I-I DON'T HAVE ANYONE
I CAN LEAVE STANLEY WITH.
1063
00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:20,185
WELL, BRING STANLEY
WITH YOU,
1064
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,153
BUT GET HERE
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
1065
00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:23,321
YES, SIR.
1066
00:45:23,354 --> 00:45:24,823
GOOD-BYE, SIR.
1067
00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:29,761
WELL, STANLEY, WE MIGHT AS WELL
GET GOING AND FACE THE WORST.
1068
00:45:29,795 --> 00:45:32,297
[doorbell rings]
1069
00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,165
GOOD EVENING,
MR. JONES, STANLEY.
1070
00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:35,801
GOOD EVENING, SIR.
1071
00:45:40,806 --> 00:45:43,308
THE BOARD OF REGENTS
MADE ITS DECISION.
1072
00:45:43,341 --> 00:45:46,011
IT'S THEIR VERDICT
THAT...
1073
00:45:46,044 --> 00:45:48,146
(all)
SURPRISE!
1074
00:45:48,179 --> 00:45:50,916
IT'S THEIR VERDICT
THAT SLEEP LEARNING
1075
00:45:50,949 --> 00:45:52,450
IS AN HONEST WAY
TO CHEAT,
1076
00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:54,552
WITH THE EMPHASIS
ON HONEST.
1077
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,054
WE GOT "A"s
IN ENGLISH LIT!
1078
00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:57,055
WE CAN PLAY FOOTBALL!
1079
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,323
HOORAY FOR MERLIN!
1080
00:45:58,356 --> 00:46:00,491
[all cheering]
1081
00:46:03,829 --> 00:46:06,965
JUST CONGRATULATE HIM.
HE'LL UNDERSTAND.
1082
00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:11,036
(all)
* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *
1083
00:46:11,069 --> 00:46:12,904
* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *
1084
00:46:12,938 --> 00:46:16,541
* FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY *
1085
00:46:16,574 --> 00:46:20,145
* WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY,
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY *
1086
00:46:20,178 --> 00:46:22,180
* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *
1087
00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:24,015
* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *
1088
00:46:24,049 --> 00:46:28,319
* FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW *
1089
00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:31,356
* WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY
1090
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:34,325
(college president)
WELL, GENTLEMEN,
1091
00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:37,595
NOW THAT OUR UNHAPPY
LITTLE CONTROVERSY IS OVER,
1092
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,164
I'M SURE WE'RE ALL AGREED
1093
00:46:39,197 --> 00:46:43,201
TO CLOSE RANKS AND PROCEED
WITH OUR PROPER TASK--
1094
00:46:43,234 --> 00:46:45,503
EDUCATING
THE YOUNG MIND.
1095
00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:48,039
QUITE RIGHT.
EXACTLY.
1096
00:46:48,073 --> 00:46:50,041
UH, HOWEVER,
THE FIRST BUSINESS AT HAND
1097
00:46:50,075 --> 00:46:53,912
IS THIS YEAR'S
FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN,
1098
00:46:53,945 --> 00:46:56,447
FOR OUR BELOVED COLLEGE,
ONCE AGAIN, ALAS,
1099
00:46:56,481 --> 00:47:00,085
IS CHRONICALLY SHORT
OF CASH.
1100
00:47:00,118 --> 00:47:01,319
IN CONNECTION WITH THAT,
MR. PRESIDENT,
1101
00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:02,921
UH, I HAVE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE,
1102
00:47:02,954 --> 00:47:05,924
WHICH I THINK WILL MAKE
EVERYONE HERE FEEL VERY HAPPY.
1103
00:47:05,957 --> 00:47:08,927
I HAVE PERSUADED
MR. J.P. ASTERBILT
1104
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,399
TO ENDOW MIDVALE COLLEGE
WITH $1 MILLION.
1105
00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:17,869
$1 MILLION?
W-W-WHY, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
1106
00:47:17,903 --> 00:47:20,939
ALTHOUGH WE'VE HAD
OUR DISAGREEMENTS IN THE PAST,
1107
00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:22,941
I MUST SAY
THAT MR. DEARBORNE...
1108
00:47:22,974 --> 00:47:24,009
NOW, THERE
IS A CONDITION.
1109
00:47:24,042 --> 00:47:27,078
MR. ASTERBILT STIPULATES
FOOTBALL MUST BE ABOLISHED,
1110
00:47:27,112 --> 00:47:28,346
OR THE DEAL IS OFF.
1111
00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:30,315
IS A STUBBORN,
PIGHEADED FOOL.
1112
00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:32,050
I HAVE NO WISH TO ARGUE
WITH THE JUDGE OR--
1113
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:33,584
DEARBORNE,
YOU POSITIVELY
1114
00:47:33,618 --> 00:47:37,022
HOLD THE WORLD'S RECORD
AT GRUDGE CARRYING.
1115
00:47:37,055 --> 00:47:38,189
JUST BECAUSE
YOU COULDN'T MAKE THE TEAM
1116
00:47:38,223 --> 00:47:39,324
WHEN YOU WERE
A STUDENT HERE,
1117
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:41,359
YOU'RE FOREVER SNIPING
1118
00:47:41,392 --> 00:47:42,460
AT MIDVALE FOOTBALL.
1119
00:47:42,493 --> 00:47:45,063
THERE IS NO CAUSE
FOR ANGER, JUDGE.
1120
00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:47,332
WE CAN KEEP FOOTBALL
AT MIDVALE,
1121
00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:51,202
OR WE CAN HAVE $1 MILLION.
1122
00:47:51,236 --> 00:47:53,271
TAKE YOUR CHOICE.
[chuckles]
1123
00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:55,373
(college president)
OF COURSE, FOOTBALL
1124
00:47:55,406 --> 00:47:58,143
DOES TAKE TIME AWAY
FROM STUDIES.
1125
00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:00,478
AND THERE'S ALWAYS THE DANGER
THAT SOMEONE WILL GET HURT.
1126
00:48:00,511 --> 00:48:02,948
AND IT CREATES
THE WRONG KIND OF ATMOSPHERE
1127
00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:04,582
FOR AN INSTITUSION
OF HIGHER LEARNING.
1128
00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:08,586
WELL, GENTLEMEN,
WE ALL SEEM TO BE IN AGREEMENT,
1129
00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:09,988
UH, ALMOST ALL,
THAT IS.
1130
00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:10,922
TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY,
1131
00:48:10,956 --> 00:48:14,592
MR. ASTERBILT
WILL BE HERE WITH A CHECK
1132
00:48:14,625 --> 00:48:17,162
FOR $1 MILLION.
1133
00:48:17,195 --> 00:48:18,296
AND AT THAT TIME,
1134
00:48:18,329 --> 00:48:20,198
FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE
1135
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,567
WILL COME TO AN END.
1136
00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:33,211
THERE'S SOMEONE
TO SEE YOU, JUDGE.
1137
00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:34,545
I DON'T WANT
TO SEE ANYONE.
1138
00:48:34,579 --> 00:48:37,215
HIS NAME
IS DARIUS GREEN III.
1139
00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:38,950
I DON'T KNOW
ANY DARIUS GREEN.
1140
00:48:38,984 --> 00:48:40,151
HE'S IN THE STUDY.
1141
00:48:40,185 --> 00:48:41,953
I COULDN'T GET RID OF HIM.
MAYBE YOU CAN.
1142
00:48:41,987 --> 00:48:43,554
HUH.
1143
00:48:43,588 --> 00:48:47,092
JUDGE HOLMSBY,
I'M GLAD TO MEET YOU.
1144
00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:48,626
I'M DARIUS GREEN III.
1145
00:48:48,659 --> 00:48:50,628
WELL, MR. GREEN,
I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.
1146
00:48:50,661 --> 00:48:54,199
SO AM I, BUT I'M GONNA READ YOU
A POEM ABOUT MY GRANDDADDY.
1147
00:48:54,232 --> 00:48:55,733
I TOLD YOU,
I AM VERY BUSY.
1148
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,003
AND IT MIGHT MEAN
A VERY BIG ENDOWMENT
1149
00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,470
TO MIDVALE COLLEGE.
1150
00:48:59,504 --> 00:49:03,241
HOWEVER, I'M NEVER TOO BUSY
TO LISTEN TO A GOOD POEM.
1151
00:49:03,274 --> 00:49:05,076
AH, I KNEW YOU WEREN'T.
1152
00:49:05,110 --> 00:49:07,745
UH, UH, THE NAME
OF THIS POEM
1153
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:11,516
IS DARIUS GREEN
AND HIS FLYING MACHINE.
1154
00:49:11,549 --> 00:49:12,617
INTERESTING TITLE.
1155
00:49:12,650 --> 00:49:14,619
THAT WOULD BE DARIUS GREEN I,
I PRESUME.
1156
00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:18,089
MY GRANDDADDY.
1157
00:49:18,123 --> 00:49:21,092
"AN ASPIRING GENIUS
WAS DARIUS GREEN.
1158
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,628
"SON OF A FARMER,
AGE 14.
1159
00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:26,497
"HIS BODY WAS LONG
AND LANK AND LEAN,
1160
00:49:26,531 --> 00:49:29,967
JUST RIGHT FOR FLYING,
AS WE'LL BE SEEING."
1161
00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:34,472
"THE BIRDS CAN FLY,
AND WHY CAN'T I?
1162
00:49:34,505 --> 00:49:36,607
"'MUST WE GIVE IN,'
HE SAID WITH A GRIN.
1163
00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:40,611
"JUST FOLD OUR HANDS
AND LET THE 'SWALLER'
1164
00:49:40,645 --> 00:49:43,348
AND BLACKBIRD AND CATBIRD
BEAT US HOLLER."
1165
00:49:43,381 --> 00:49:45,483
THAT WAS GOOD THINKING,
MR. GREEN.
1166
00:49:45,516 --> 00:49:46,551
GRANDDADDY
WAS SMART,
1167
00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:49,587
NO MATTER
WHAT THEY SAY.
1168
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:50,755
"SO, DAY AFTER DAY,
1169
00:49:50,788 --> 00:49:53,358
"HE STITCHED AND TINKERED
AND HAMMERED AWAY
1170
00:49:53,391 --> 00:49:54,692
"TILL AT LAST
IT WAS DONE,
1171
00:49:54,725 --> 00:49:57,595
"THE GREATEST INVENTION
UNDER THE SUN.
1172
00:49:57,628 --> 00:50:01,099
"THEN, SAID DARIUS,
'HOORAY FOR SOME FUN.'"
1173
00:50:01,132 --> 00:50:03,634
"HOORAY FOR SOME FUN."
1174
00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:07,772
"SO THIS MODERN KNIGHT
PREPARED FOR FLIGHT,
1175
00:50:07,805 --> 00:50:10,241
"PUT ON HIS WINGS
AND STRAPPED THEM TIGHT.
1176
00:50:10,275 --> 00:50:12,777
"BUCKLED THEM FAST
TO SHOULDER AND HIP.
1177
00:50:12,810 --> 00:50:15,380
TEN FEET THEY MEASURED
FROM TIP TO TIP."
1178
00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:18,149
IMAGINE A WINGSPREAD
OF TEN FEET.
1179
00:50:19,784 --> 00:50:22,220
"STEPPIN' CAREFUL,
HE TRAVELED THE LENGTH
1180
00:50:22,253 --> 00:50:25,756
"OF HIS SPRINGBOARD AND TEETERED
TO TRY ITS STRENGTH.
1181
00:50:25,790 --> 00:50:29,227
"NOW HE STRETCHES HIS WINGS
LIKE A MONSTROUS BAT,
1182
00:50:29,260 --> 00:50:32,563
"PEEKS OVER HIS SHOULDER
THIS WAY AND THAT.
1183
00:50:32,597 --> 00:50:35,766
"FOR TO SEE
IF THERE'S ANYONE PASSING BY,
1184
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,237
TO SEE THE DRAGON
HE'S GOING TO FLY."
1185
00:50:39,270 --> 00:50:41,639
GO ON, PLEASE.
GO ON.
1186
00:50:41,672 --> 00:50:43,741
"AS A DEMON IS HURLED
1187
00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:45,243
"BY AN ANGEL'S SPEAR,
1188
00:50:45,276 --> 00:50:47,412
"HEELS OVER HEAD
TO HIS PROPER SPHERE,
1189
00:50:47,445 --> 00:50:51,382
"SO FELL DARIUS
UPON HIS CROWN.
1190
00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:53,818
"INTO THE BARNYARD,
HE COMES DOWN
1191
00:50:53,851 --> 00:50:56,654
"IN A WONDERFUL WORLD
OF TANGLED STRINGS,
1192
00:50:56,687 --> 00:50:59,190
"BROKEN BRACES
AND BROKEN SPRINGS,
1193
00:50:59,224 --> 00:51:01,492
"BROKEN TAIL
AND BROKEN WINGS,
1194
00:51:01,526 --> 00:51:04,629
SHOOTING STARS
AND VARIOUS THINGS."
1195
00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:07,298
OH, HOW VERY SAD,
MR. GREEN.
1196
00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:09,500
THERE IT IS, JUDGE.
1197
00:51:09,534 --> 00:51:10,635
AND EVER SINCE,
1198
00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:13,604
GRANDDADDY DARIUS HAS BEEN
TREATED LIKE A SIMPLETON,
1199
00:51:13,638 --> 00:51:17,108
INSTEAD OF A MAN
WAY AHEAD OF HIS TIMES.
1200
00:51:17,142 --> 00:51:19,310
JUST LOOK AT THE WAY
THEY DRAWED HIM.
1201
00:51:19,344 --> 00:51:22,480
THEY WASN'T CONTENT
TO HAVE HIM ACT THE FOOL.
1202
00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:24,782
THEY EVEN PICTURED HIM
LOOKING LIKE A FOOL.
1203
00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:27,518
I GATHER YOU FEEL
YOUR ANCESTOR'S BEEN SLURRED,
1204
00:51:27,552 --> 00:51:29,787
BUT WHAT CAN BE DONE
ABOUT IT NOW?
1205
00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:32,123
WELL, I'D LIKE TO CLEAR
GRANDDADDY'S NAME
1206
00:51:32,157 --> 00:51:35,160
BY PROVING A FELLA CAN FLY
UNDER HIS OWN POWER
1207
00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:37,395
BY GETTING SOMEONE
TO DO IT.
1208
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,730
THAT'S WHY I CAME
ALL THE WAY FROM VERMONT
1209
00:51:39,764 --> 00:51:41,232
TO SEE YOU.
1210
00:51:41,266 --> 00:51:42,633
TO SEE ME?
1211
00:51:42,667 --> 00:51:43,768
WELL, I HEARD
YOU WERE A MEMBER
1212
00:51:43,801 --> 00:51:45,636
OF THE BOARD OF REGENTS
AT MIDVALE COLLEGE.
1213
00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:46,671
YES, I AM.
1214
00:51:46,704 --> 00:51:47,905
HMM.
1215
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,375
I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
1216
00:51:50,408 --> 00:51:53,211
WOULD MIDVALE CONSIDER
AN ENDOWMENT OF $10 MILLION
1217
00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:56,514
ENOUGH TO GET THEM INTERESTED
IN WORKING ON THIS HERE IDEA?
1218
00:51:56,547 --> 00:51:59,450
[laughing]
1219
00:51:59,484 --> 00:52:01,286
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
1220
00:52:01,319 --> 00:52:04,522
[laughing]
WELL, FOR A MINUTE,
IT SOUNDED AS THOUGH--
1221
00:52:04,555 --> 00:52:07,625
IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU SAID,
"$10 MILLION."
1222
00:52:07,658 --> 00:52:09,360
[laughing]
THAT'S WHAT I DID SAY.
1223
00:52:09,394 --> 00:52:11,929
[stops laughing]
1224
00:52:11,962 --> 00:52:14,532
$10 MILLION?
1225
00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:16,267
THAT'S RIGHT.
1226
00:52:16,301 --> 00:52:19,270
ONE, ZERO...
1227
00:52:19,304 --> 00:52:22,507
ZERO, ZERO, ZERO...
1228
00:52:22,540 --> 00:52:24,609
ZERO, ZERO, ZERO?
1229
00:52:24,642 --> 00:52:26,644
DON'T WORRY, JUDGE.
1230
00:52:26,677 --> 00:52:28,779
YOU CAN LOOK ME UP AND DOWN
ON BRIDE STREET.
1231
00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:30,648
YOU'LL FIND
I'M PRETTY WELL FIXED.
1232
00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:32,883
OH, I'M NOT WORRYING
ABOUT YOU, MR. GREEN.
1233
00:52:32,917 --> 00:52:35,520
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU
ONE QUESTION.
1234
00:52:35,553 --> 00:52:37,788
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT FOOTBALL?
1235
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:38,923
OH, I LIKE IT.
1236
00:52:38,956 --> 00:52:41,259
UH, BUT I CAN'T PLAY
WITH YOU TODAY.
1237
00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:44,395
MR. GREEN, YOU HAVE JUST SAVED
FOOTBALL AT MIDVALE COLLEGE.
1238
00:52:44,429 --> 00:52:46,631
WHY ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT FOOTBALL?
1239
00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:50,401
BECAUSE YOUR GENEROSITY LETS
MIDVALE TURN DOWN ANOTHER OFFER,
1240
00:52:50,435 --> 00:52:51,569
ONE WITH STRINGS ATTACHED.
1241
00:52:51,602 --> 00:52:53,304
WELL, MINE
HAS STRINGS, TOO.
1242
00:52:53,338 --> 00:52:55,640
NOT ONE CENT DO YOU GET
1243
00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:59,944
UNTIL YOU REALLY PROVE A MAN
CAN FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER.
1244
00:52:59,977 --> 00:53:02,213
NOW, DO YOU THINK MIDVALE
HAS THE KNOW-HOW?
1245
00:53:02,247 --> 00:53:03,514
OH, POSITIVELY.
1246
00:53:03,548 --> 00:53:05,516
ARE YOU SURE THEY HAVE?
ABSOLUTELY.
1247
00:53:05,550 --> 00:53:06,917
WE'VE GOT--
1248
00:53:06,951 --> 00:53:08,386
UH, UH, WELL--
1249
00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:10,788
W-WE HAVE
AN ABSOLUTE GENIUS HERE,
1250
00:53:10,821 --> 00:53:12,657
MERLIN JONES--
HE CAN PROVE ANYTHING.
1251
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:13,924
OH, I'D LIKE TO MEET HIM.
1252
00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,526
BUT--YOU CAN.
1253
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:16,661
IT'S ABOUT LUNCHTIME.
1254
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,663
WE'LL GO OVER
TO THE CAMPUS CAFE.
1255
00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:20,765
UH, MERLIN WAITS
ON TABLES THERE.
1256
00:53:20,798 --> 00:53:22,400
WHAT'S A GENIUS DOING
WAITING ON TABLES?
1257
00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:25,403
WHY NOT? I HEARD EINSTEIN USED
TO WAIT ON TABLES, TOO.
1258
00:53:25,436 --> 00:53:26,704
OH, DID HE?
1259
00:53:28,439 --> 00:53:31,442
[overlapping conversations]
1260
00:53:32,843 --> 00:53:33,944
[laughter]
1261
00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:36,614
I'M VERY SORRY, SIR.
1262
00:53:36,647 --> 00:53:39,517
I HEAR THAT EINSTEIN WASN'T
A VERY GOOD WAITER EITHER.
1263
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,552
UM, I'LL GET YOU
SOME MORE CLAM CHOWDER, SIR.
1264
00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,288
UH, I DIDN'T ORDER
CLAM CHOWDER.
1265
00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:44,789
I JUST WANT A SALAD.
YES, SIR.
1266
00:53:44,822 --> 00:53:46,257
OH, BY THE WAY, JUDGE,
1267
00:53:46,291 --> 00:53:47,658
STANLEY AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING
ON A PROJECT--
1268
00:53:47,692 --> 00:53:49,627
WHO'S STANLEY?
OH, I'LL HAVE
A SALAD, TOO.
1269
00:53:49,660 --> 00:53:50,761
YES, SIR. RIGHT AWAY, SIR.
1270
00:53:50,795 --> 00:53:52,029
STANLEY IS MY--
1271
00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:53,831
EH, EH, WE WANT
THE SALADS NOW.
YES, SIR.
1272
00:53:53,864 --> 00:53:55,533
(man)
HE, MERLIN, HOW
ABOUT SOME MORE WATER?
1273
00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:56,534
COMING.
1274
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:57,802
AND HE'S THE GENIUS
AT MIDVALE?
1275
00:53:57,835 --> 00:53:58,669
WELL, I KNOW YOU HAVE
1276
00:53:58,703 --> 00:54:00,538
AN UNFORTUNATE
FIRST IMPRESSION OF HIM,
1277
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,773
BUT YOU'LL SEE,
HE'LL SURPRISE YOU.
1278
00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:06,377
HE'S GIVEN ME
A FEW SURPRISES ALREADY.
1279
00:54:06,411 --> 00:54:07,312
WHO'S STANLEY?
1280
00:54:07,345 --> 00:54:10,381
EH, YEAH, WELL, STANLEY
IS HIS NEPHEW--
1281
00:54:10,415 --> 00:54:11,416
A CHIMPANZEE.
1282
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:12,783
A CHIMPANZEE?
1283
00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:14,952
YES. I SIGNED
THE COURT ORDER MYSELF.
1284
00:54:14,985 --> 00:54:17,788
HE'S LEGALLY
THE MONKEY'S UNCLE.
1285
00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,857
[laughing]
1286
00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:21,426
COME ON, MERLIN,
WHERE'S THAT WATER?
1287
00:54:21,459 --> 00:54:23,361
SURE, HERE YOU ARE.
1288
00:54:23,394 --> 00:54:24,829
I'M GETTING TOO FAST
FOR YOU, MERLIN.
1289
00:54:24,862 --> 00:54:25,963
YOU MISSED ME THAT TIME.
1290
00:54:25,996 --> 00:54:27,632
[laughter]
GEE, I'M SORRY, SIR.
1291
00:54:27,665 --> 00:54:28,799
DON'T LET IT WORRY YOU.
1292
00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:30,368
THAT'S YOUR FIRST MISS
OF THE DAY.
1293
00:54:30,401 --> 00:54:32,370
OH, NO,
WHAT I MEANT WAS--
1294
00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:33,938
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
1295
00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:35,806
MERLIN, MERLIN,
YOU SEE, MR. GREEN
1296
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,676
HAS OFFERED MIDVALE
A VERY GENEROUS ENDOWMENT.
1297
00:54:38,709 --> 00:54:39,677
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
1298
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,379
BUT--BUT--
BUT IT ALL DEPENDS
1299
00:54:41,412 --> 00:54:44,382
ON YOUR BEING ABLE TO
DEMONSTRATE MAN-POWERED FLIGHT.
1300
00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:47,017
MAN-POWERED FLIGHT?
1301
00:54:47,051 --> 00:54:48,519
YES.
1302
00:54:48,553 --> 00:54:49,787
BY MAN-POWERED FLIGHT,
1303
00:54:49,820 --> 00:54:51,622
DO YOU MEAN
NO GAS-INFLATED DEVICES?
1304
00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:52,623
RIGHT.
1305
00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:54,825
NOTHING THAT USES FUEL
OR THAT GETS ITS POWER
1306
00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,527
FROM ANYTHING
OTHER THAN A MAN'S MUSCLES?
1307
00:54:56,561 --> 00:54:58,429
YES.
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
1308
00:54:58,463 --> 00:54:59,897
TAKEOFF MAN-POWERED,
1309
00:54:59,930 --> 00:55:02,767
FLIGHT MAINTAINED BY MAN POWER,
AND LANDING MAN-POWERED?
1310
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,002
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I MEAN.
1311
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:06,837
IT CAN'T BE DONE.
1312
00:55:06,871 --> 00:55:08,373
D'OH! WELL, HE MEANS
1313
00:55:08,406 --> 00:55:09,874
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT,
1314
00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:11,342
UH, BUT, OF COURSE,
IT CAN BE DONE.
1315
00:55:11,376 --> 00:55:12,810
NO, WHAT
I MEANT WAS--
1316
00:55:12,843 --> 00:55:15,112
[stammering]
MERLIN, WILL YOU GET ME
A GLASS OF WATER?
1317
00:55:15,145 --> 00:55:17,548
OH, BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE
A GLASS OF WATER.
1318
00:55:17,582 --> 00:55:19,450
NO, THE THING
ABOUT MAN-POWERED FLIGHT--
1319
00:55:19,484 --> 00:55:20,918
WELL, THEN BRING US COFFEE
AND--AND THE CHECK.
1320
00:55:20,951 --> 00:55:22,720
[chuckles]
YES, SIR.
1321
00:55:22,753 --> 00:55:25,089
YOU SEE, A BRILLIANT YOUNG MAN
LIKE MERLIN--
1322
00:55:25,122 --> 00:55:26,824
OH, UH, WOULD YOU LIKE CREAM
IN YOUR COFFEE, SIR?
1323
00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:27,958
NO. YES, YES.
1324
00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:29,694
NO. YES, YES.
1325
00:55:29,727 --> 00:55:30,995
UH...
1326
00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:32,830
IF THAT BOY
CAN'T HANDLE IT,
1327
00:55:32,863 --> 00:55:35,833
I GUESS I'LL TAKE MY OFFER OVER
TO THAT OTHER COLLEGE NEAR HERE.
1328
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:38,002
R-RANDALL?
OH, THAT WOULD BE VERY STUPID--
1329
00:55:38,035 --> 00:55:39,203
UH, UNWISE.
1330
00:55:39,236 --> 00:55:41,939
I MEAN, THERE ISN'T ANYONE
LIKE MERLIN JONES AT RANDALL.
1331
00:55:41,972 --> 00:55:44,709
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYONE
LIKE MERLIN JONES ANYWHERE.
1332
00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:46,711
OH, YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT,
MR. GREEN.
1333
00:55:46,744 --> 00:55:49,514
THERE'S ONLY ONE MERLIN JONES,
AND MIDVALE HAS HIM.
1334
00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:52,116
THAT'S WHY I THINK I'LL TAKE
MY OFFER OVER TO RANDALL.
1335
00:55:52,149 --> 00:55:55,420
BUT--I WILL GIVE YOU
MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE
1336
00:55:55,453 --> 00:55:57,722
THAT MERLIN JONES
CAN DO THE JOB FOR YOU.
1337
00:55:57,755 --> 00:55:59,089
BUT HE DOESN'T THINK
HE CAN.
1338
00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:02,427
OH, THAT'S JUST A SCIENTIST'S
APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM.
1339
00:56:02,460 --> 00:56:03,494
YOU SEE, YOU START OFF
1340
00:56:03,528 --> 00:56:05,396
BY ASSUMING WHAT YOU'RE TRYING
TO DO IS IMPOSSIBLE,
1341
00:56:05,430 --> 00:56:06,697
THEN YOU GO AHEAD
AND DO IT.
1342
00:56:06,731 --> 00:56:07,598
IT'S WHAT'S CALLED
1343
00:56:07,632 --> 00:56:10,501
THE, UH, PROVING
THE IMPOSSIBLE THEOREM.
1344
00:56:10,535 --> 00:56:11,736
[exhales deeply]
1345
00:56:11,769 --> 00:56:13,971
MR. GREEN, HOW HIGH WOULD A MAN
HAVE TO FLY TO SATISFY YOU?
1346
00:56:14,004 --> 00:56:15,039
UH, TEN FEET.
1347
00:56:15,072 --> 00:56:17,575
MM-HMM. AND HOW LONG
WOULD HE HAVE TO SUSTAIN IT?
1348
00:56:17,608 --> 00:56:19,577
ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
FIVE MINUTES.
1349
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,579
300 SECONDS.
1350
00:56:21,612 --> 00:56:24,782
I THINK MERLIN'S GOT SOMETHING
FIGURED OUT ALREADY,
1351
00:56:24,815 --> 00:56:25,850
RIGHT, MERLIN?
MM-HMM.
1352
00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:27,151
I JUST FIGURED OUT
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
1353
00:56:27,184 --> 00:56:28,285
UH, UH, THERE, YOU SEE?
1354
00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:30,655
THAT'S A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH,
PROVING THE IMPOSSIBLE,
1355
00:56:30,688 --> 00:56:32,690
UH, RIGHT, MR. GREEN?
1356
00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,425
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, JUDGE.
1357
00:56:34,459 --> 00:56:36,961
IN VERMONT, WE DON'T MAKE UP
OUR MINDS SO FAST.
1358
00:56:36,994 --> 00:56:38,963
WE LIKE TO GIVE
A LITTLE THOUGHT TO THINGS.
1359
00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:41,098
AND QUITE RIGHT,
MR. GREEN.
1360
00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:42,967
YOU LIKE TO GIVE
A LITTLE THOUGHT TO THINGS,
1361
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,502
SO DOES MERLIN,
1362
00:56:44,535 --> 00:56:45,570
DON'T YOU, MERLIN?
1363
00:56:45,603 --> 00:56:47,004
YOU CAN GIVE THIS
A LITTLE THOUGHT,
1364
00:56:47,037 --> 00:56:49,006
CAN'T YOU,
FOR, UH, $10 MILLION?
1365
00:56:49,039 --> 00:56:51,942
$10 MILLION?
HA HA!
1366
00:56:51,976 --> 00:56:53,878
THERE, YOU SEE, MR. GREEN?
THE CHECK, PLEASE.
1367
00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:56,714
NO, NO, NO,
I INSIST.
1368
00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:58,115
UH, YOU ARE A GUEST
AT MIDVALE,
1369
00:56:58,148 --> 00:57:00,818
AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU
SPENDING ONE CENT.
1370
00:57:00,851 --> 00:57:02,920
MERLIN...
1371
00:57:02,953 --> 00:57:04,722
MR. GREEN AND I HAVE
COMPLETE CONFIDENCE IN YOU.
1372
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:07,124
FROM NOW ON, MAN-POWERED FLIGHT
IS COMPLETELY IN YOUR HANDS.
1373
00:57:07,157 --> 00:57:08,993
THIS WAY,
THIS WAY, MR. GREEN.
1374
00:57:09,026 --> 00:57:11,496
HA HA HA.
1375
00:57:13,864 --> 00:57:15,966
MERLIN, WHY DON'T YOU HURRY UP
AND INVENT THAT PLANE
1376
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,702
SO YOU CAN TAKE ME
TO THE MOVIE?
1377
00:57:17,735 --> 00:57:19,103
IT'S NOT
AS EASY AS THAT.
1378
00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:20,538
WHY NOT?
1379
00:57:20,571 --> 00:57:22,206
JENNIFER, CAN'T YOU SEE
WHAT A MAN'S UP AGAINST
1380
00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:24,575
WHEN HE TRIES TO FLY
UNDER HIS OWN POWER?
1381
00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:25,676
STANLEY,
GIVE ME THE BIRD.
1382
00:57:25,710 --> 00:57:27,845
[imitating birdcall]
1383
00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:31,115
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
1384
00:57:31,148 --> 00:57:33,818
I WANT THIS BIRD.
1385
00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:35,520
SEE HOW IT'S DESIGNED
FOR FLIGHT?
1386
00:57:35,553 --> 00:57:36,386
LOOK AT THE BODY--
1387
00:57:36,420 --> 00:57:38,723
STREAMLINED
FOR CUTTING THROUGH THE AIR.
1388
00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:39,857
IT'S CUTE.
1389
00:57:39,890 --> 00:57:41,592
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL
ARE THE AIR CAVITIES
1390
00:57:41,626 --> 00:57:43,260
THAT MAKE A BIRD'S BONES
VERY LIGHT.
1391
00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:45,863
MAN'S BONES ARE SOLID.
1392
00:57:45,896 --> 00:57:47,097
DON'T THE WINGS
HELP, TOO?
1393
00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,265
OF COURSE THEY HELP.
1394
00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:50,601
BUT MAN WAS DESIGNED
FOR WALKING.
1395
00:57:50,635 --> 00:57:52,737
MAN MAYBE,
BUT NOT WOMAN.
1396
00:57:52,770 --> 00:57:55,105
WALKING IN THESE SHOES
IS TORTURE.
1397
00:57:55,139 --> 00:57:56,774
I MEAN
BOTH MAN AND WOMAN.
1398
00:57:56,807 --> 00:57:58,976
CERTAINLY YOU WEREN'T DESIGNED
FOR FLYING.
1399
00:57:59,009 --> 00:58:00,711
OF COURSE NOT.
I HAVE NO WINGS.
1400
00:58:00,745 --> 00:58:02,112
NO WINGS
AND HEAVY LEGS.
1401
00:58:02,146 --> 00:58:04,248
REALLY, MERLIN!
1402
00:58:04,281 --> 00:58:06,584
OH, NO, JEN, I DIDN'T MEAN
YOUR LEGS PERSONALLY.
1403
00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:08,586
I MEANT MAN'S LEGS
IN GENERAL.
1404
00:58:08,619 --> 00:58:10,588
OH.
1405
00:58:10,621 --> 00:58:13,123
BUT DO YOU THINK MY LEGS
ARE TOO HEAVY?
1406
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:14,525
OF COURSE NOT.
1407
00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:16,994
I THINK YOUR LEGS ARE...
1408
00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:20,097
HOW DID WE EVER GET
INTO A DISCUSSION ON YOUR LEGS?
1409
00:58:20,130 --> 00:58:21,732
YOU WERE CRITICIZING
MY FIGURE.
1410
00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:23,734
LOOK, JEN, ON THE GROUND,
YOUR FIGURE IS GORGEOUS,
1411
00:58:23,768 --> 00:58:25,736
AND THAT BIRD'S
IS RIDICULOUS.
1412
00:58:25,770 --> 00:58:28,138
BUT HIS WAS DESIGNED FOR FLYING,
AND YOURS WASN'T.
1413
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:30,274
WELL, I JUST WON'T FLY THEN,
THAT'S ALL.
1414
00:58:30,307 --> 00:58:32,142
WELL, SOMEONE'S GOT TO,
1415
00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:35,913
OR MIDVALE'S OUT $10 MILLION
AND ONE FOOTBALL TEAM.
1416
00:58:35,946 --> 00:58:37,982
I DON'T SEE
HOW THAT'S POSSIBLE
1417
00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:39,984
AFTER WHAT
YOU'VE JUST EXPLAINED.
1418
00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:42,119
AFTER ALL,
MAN ISN'T STREAMLINED,
1419
00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:43,954
AND HE'S GOT CAVITIES
IN HIS TEETH
1420
00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:45,122
INSTEAD OF HIS LEGS.
1421
00:58:45,155 --> 00:58:47,257
YOU'RE FORGETTING
JUST ONE THING.
1422
00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:48,358
AND MAN
DOESN'T HAVE WINGS?
1423
00:58:48,392 --> 00:58:52,262
NO, SOMETHING HE DOES HAVE--
A HIGHLY DEVELOPED BRAIN.
1424
00:58:52,296 --> 00:58:56,133
MAN'S BRAIN IS ALWAYS ENABLING
HIM TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
1425
00:58:56,166 --> 00:58:58,268
MERLIN, I CAN JUST SEE
YOU NOW,
1426
00:58:58,302 --> 00:59:00,738
FLYING THROUGH THE AIR,
SOARING THROUGH THE SKIES!
1427
00:59:00,771 --> 00:59:03,674
WELL, NO, JEN,
I WON'T BE DOING THE FLYING.
1428
00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:04,842
YOU WON'T?
1429
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,010
WHO WILL?
I DON'T KNOW.
1430
00:59:06,043 --> 00:59:07,277
WE'LL PROBABLY GET
A FOOTBALL PLAYER--
1431
00:59:07,311 --> 00:59:10,080
SOMEONE WITH AS MUCH MUSCLE AND
AS LITTLE WEIGHT AS POSSIBLE.
1432
00:59:10,114 --> 00:59:12,750
I JUST PROVIDE
THE BRAINPOWER.
1433
00:59:12,783 --> 00:59:16,253
HMM,
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
1434
00:59:16,286 --> 00:59:18,255
[chattering]
1435
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:22,827
THAT'S IT,
1436
00:59:22,860 --> 00:59:24,962
THE CUBE
OF THE VELOCITY.
1437
00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:26,263
THANK YOU, STANLEY.
1438
00:59:26,296 --> 00:59:29,133
[screeching]
1439
00:59:29,166 --> 00:59:31,869
(Judge Holmsby)
SO, GENTLEMEN,
THE MIDVALE FOOTBALL TEAM
1440
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,338
IS ONCE AGAIN THREATENED
BY MR. DEARBORNE.
1441
00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:35,873
[all booing]
1442
00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:39,610
ONCE AGAIN, ONCE AGAIN,
THE FATE OF THE TEAM
1443
00:59:39,644 --> 00:59:42,613
IS IN THE HANDS AND THE BRAIN
OF MERLIN JONES.
1444
00:59:42,647 --> 00:59:45,382
[all cheering]
1445
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:47,752
FOR NOW,
I CAN REVEAL TO YOU
1446
00:59:47,785 --> 00:59:50,154
THAT MERLIN IS WORKING
ON A SECRET PROJECT,
1447
00:59:50,187 --> 00:59:51,756
WHICH, IF SUCCESSFUL,
1448
00:59:51,789 --> 00:59:54,992
WILL BRING TO MIDVALE
AN ENDOWMENT OF $10 MILLION.
1449
00:59:55,025 --> 00:59:56,293
[all whistling]
1450
00:59:56,326 --> 00:59:57,995
AND WITH $10 MILLION,
1451
00:59:58,028 --> 01:00:01,265
WE CAN UTTERLY REJECT
MR. ASTERBILT'S $1 MILLION,
1452
01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:03,133
AND THE CONDITIONS
THAT GO WITH IT,
1453
01:00:03,167 --> 01:00:05,836
AND PRESERVE FOOTBALL
AT MIDVALE FOREVER.
1454
01:00:05,870 --> 01:00:09,073
[all cheering]
1455
01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:09,940
HOWEVER,
1456
01:00:09,974 --> 01:00:12,276
MERLIN IS NOW AT A STAGE
IN THIS PROJECT
1457
01:00:12,309 --> 01:00:15,145
WHERE HE DOES NEED
THE ASSISTANCE OF ONE MAN.
1458
01:00:15,179 --> 01:00:17,882
AND I BELIEVE THE MU MUS
SHOULD HAVE THE HONOR
1459
01:00:17,915 --> 01:00:19,149
OF PROVIDING THAT MAN.
1460
01:00:19,183 --> 01:00:22,887
[all cheering]
1461
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,422
AS HEAD OF THIS FRATERNITY,
I VOLUNTEER THE SERVICES
1462
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:27,424
OF EVERY SINGLE MU MU
IN THIS ROOM!
1463
01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:29,159
[all cheering]
1464
01:00:29,193 --> 01:00:31,428
FINE, HAYWOOD, FINE.
1465
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:34,031
NOW, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS DECIDE
WHICH ONE IT WILL BE.
1466
01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:35,432
MERLIN HAS THE NAMES
OF FOUR MEN
1467
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:37,301
WHOM HE THINKS HAVE
THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS.
1468
01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:38,435
CALL THEM OUT, MERLIN.
1469
01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:39,904
THEN WE'LL DRAW STRAWS
1470
01:00:39,937 --> 01:00:41,672
AND SEE WHO THE LUCKY ONE
WILL BE.
1471
01:00:41,706 --> 01:00:43,874
YES, SIR.
JIM ANDREWS.
1472
01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:48,245
LEON.
1473
01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:51,882
[all cheering]
1474
01:00:51,916 --> 01:00:53,884
A.J. COBB.
1475
01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:54,885
ME?!
1476
01:00:54,919 --> 01:00:56,020
[all cheering]
1477
01:00:56,053 --> 01:00:57,121
AND, FINALLY,
1478
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,122
NORMAN!
1479
01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,124
[all cheering]
1480
01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:02,893
HEY, MERLIN,
WHAT IS THIS SECRET PROJECT?
1481
01:01:02,927 --> 01:01:03,894
MAN-POWERED FLIGHT--
1482
01:01:03,928 --> 01:01:06,296
A FLYING MACHINE POWERED
ONLY BY A MAN'S MUSCLES.
1483
01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:08,032
IT'LL NEVER WORK.
MAYBE NOT.
1484
01:01:08,065 --> 01:01:09,099
BUT WE'RE GONNA TRY.
1485
01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:10,300
WE?
1486
01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:11,435
SURE.
1487
01:01:11,468 --> 01:01:13,938
ME AND WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU WINS
THE JOB OF FLYING IT.
1488
01:01:13,971 --> 01:01:15,405
FLYING IT?!
1489
01:01:15,439 --> 01:01:17,708
(Leon)
YOU MEAN ONE OF US
IS GONNA FLY IT?
1490
01:01:17,742 --> 01:01:19,777
I DON'T THINK
I'M THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB.
1491
01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:20,911
I GOT THIS SINUS CONDITION.
1492
01:01:20,945 --> 01:01:22,146
YEAH,
AND I GOT DANDRUFF.
1493
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,281
OH, REALLY, I DO.
LOOK.
1494
01:01:24,314 --> 01:01:25,883
JUST ONE MOMENT.
1495
01:01:25,916 --> 01:01:28,152
MU MU HONOR IS AT STAKE.
1496
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,420
WE'LL GO AHEAD
AND DRAW STRAWS.
1497
01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:31,756
THE LONGEST ONE LOSES.
1498
01:01:31,789 --> 01:01:33,157
[chuckles]
I MEAN WINS--
1499
01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:34,358
WINS THE HONOR OF FLYING.
1500
01:01:34,391 --> 01:01:35,893
[indistinct chatter]
1501
01:01:35,926 --> 01:01:37,294
QUIET.
QUIET, GENTLEMEN!
1502
01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:38,195
QUIET.
1503
01:01:38,228 --> 01:01:40,164
REMEMBER,
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MOMENT.
1504
01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:42,199
LINE UP, PLEASE.
1505
01:01:47,537 --> 01:01:49,807
NORMAN.
1506
01:02:08,926 --> 01:02:10,828
[laughing]
1507
01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:15,199
JIM.
1508
01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:27,477
A.J.
1509
01:02:43,193 --> 01:02:45,229
LEON.
1510
01:02:55,405 --> 01:02:59,776
[all cheering,
shouting indistinctly]
1511
01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:03,848
QUIET!
FELLAS, QUIET! QUIET!
1512
01:03:03,881 --> 01:03:05,482
MY BOY,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
1513
01:03:05,515 --> 01:03:07,584
THAT MIDVALE WILL ALWAYS
REMEMBER AND APPRECIATE
1514
01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:08,919
WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO,
1515
01:03:08,953 --> 01:03:11,188
NO MATTER WHETHER
IT'S SUCCESSFUL OR NOT.
1516
01:03:11,221 --> 01:03:13,457
IN FACT, I INTEND TO INTRODUCE
A RESOLUTION
1517
01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:14,591
TO THE BOARD OF REGENTS,
1518
01:03:14,624 --> 01:03:16,560
ASKING THEM TO NAME
THE STADIUM AFTER YOU.
1519
01:03:16,593 --> 01:03:18,896
NO FOOLING?
1520
01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:20,564
NO FOOLING.
1521
01:03:20,597 --> 01:03:23,467
JUST THINK, 90,000 CHEERING
STUDENTS IN YOUR STADIUM--
1522
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:26,336
THE LEON MEMORIAL STADIUM.
1523
01:03:26,370 --> 01:03:27,504
MEMORIAL STADIUM?!
1524
01:03:27,537 --> 01:03:29,439
[laughter]
1525
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:31,175
WELL, UH, I JUST CALLED IT
1526
01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:32,442
THE FIRST THING
THAT CAME INTO MY HEAD.
1527
01:03:32,476 --> 01:03:34,411
YOU CAN CALL IT
ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE.
1528
01:03:34,444 --> 01:03:36,180
[whimpers]
I WANT TO CALL IT QUITS.
1529
01:03:36,213 --> 01:03:37,915
[all awing]
1530
01:03:37,948 --> 01:03:40,450
I DON'T THINK SO...
1531
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:41,886
ARE YOU READY, LEON?
1532
01:03:41,919 --> 01:03:44,321
I SUPPOSE SO.
1533
01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:47,457
OH, LEON,
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
1534
01:03:47,491 --> 01:03:49,193
I DO?
OF COURSE YOU DO.
1535
01:03:49,226 --> 01:03:51,328
MY BOY, THIS IS THE LAST STEP
IN YOUR TRAINING.
1536
01:03:51,361 --> 01:03:52,196
I WANT YOU TO SEE A FILM
1537
01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:54,198
OF VARIOUS FLYING MACHINES
IN ACTION.
1538
01:03:54,231 --> 01:03:55,465
LIGHTS, PLEASE,
JENNIFER.
1539
01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:57,868
THERE'S ALWAYS A CHANCE TO LEARN
FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES.
1540
01:03:57,902 --> 01:04:00,070
SOME OF THESE FLYING MACHINES
ARE MOTOR-DRIVEN,
1541
01:04:00,104 --> 01:04:02,940
SO, OF COURSE, CAN'T BE USED
IN MAN-POWERED FLIGHT.
1542
01:04:02,973 --> 01:04:05,409
STANLEY?
1543
01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:06,643
BUT WE'RE INTERESTED
1544
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:09,313
IN THE SCIENTIFIC THINKING
THAT WENT INTO DESIGNING THEM--
1545
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,848
THE AERODYNAMICS,
THE THEORY OF FLIGHT.
1546
01:04:15,953 --> 01:04:17,922
(Merlin)
ANY FOOL CAN SEE THIS WILL
NEVER GET OFF THE GROUND.
1547
01:04:17,955 --> 01:04:19,990
CAN'T YOU, LEON?
[laughing]
SURE.
1548
01:04:20,024 --> 01:04:23,327
AT LEAST THIS FELLA KNEW
THAT THE HEAVIER THE LOAD,
1549
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,329
THE MORE POWER NEEDED
FOR LIFTING,
1550
01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:27,164
SO HE KEPT
THE WEIGHT DOWN.
1551
01:04:31,235 --> 01:04:33,370
[laughing]
KEPT EVERYTHING ELSE DOWN, TOO.
1552
01:04:35,072 --> 01:04:38,976
I WONDER IF MR. GREEN
WOULD OKAY ROCKETS.
1553
01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:47,384
OH, GUESS NOT.
1554
01:04:47,417 --> 01:04:50,154
ANY FLYING MACHINE
NEEDS THE LIGHTEST
1555
01:04:50,187 --> 01:04:53,390
AND STRONGEST MATERIALS
POSSIBLE.
1556
01:05:00,664 --> 01:05:02,566
LIGHT ENOUGH TO LIFT
1557
01:05:02,599 --> 01:05:05,369
AND STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD
TOGETHER UNDER PRESSURE.
1558
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:11,108
THIS IS NEITHER.
1559
01:05:11,141 --> 01:05:15,212
NOW WE COME TO THE ORNITHOPTIC
APPROACH TO FLYING.
1560
01:05:19,649 --> 01:05:21,585
TRYING TO FLY
BY IMITATING
1561
01:05:21,618 --> 01:05:24,188
THE UP-AND-DOWN MOVEMENT
OF A BIRD'S WINGS,
1562
01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:25,322
NOT UNLIKE TRYING TO SWIM
1563
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,158
BY IMITATING THE WIGGLE
OF A FISH'S TAIL.
1564
01:05:28,192 --> 01:05:29,659
THESE FELLAS
JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
1565
01:05:29,693 --> 01:05:31,695
THE FUNDAMENTALS OF FLYING.
1566
01:05:38,002 --> 01:05:42,106
NOW WE SEE THE APPLICATION
OF SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLES.
1567
01:05:48,045 --> 01:05:50,580
THIS WING STRUCTURE
REPRESENTS A GREAT ADVANCE.
1568
01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,724
[laughing]
1569
01:06:00,757 --> 01:06:03,493
BUT IT ISN'T
QUITE PERFECT.
1570
01:06:05,162 --> 01:06:07,397
ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS DIFFERENT,
THAT FLYING MACHINE
1571
01:06:07,431 --> 01:06:09,166
IS ACTUALLY
VERY MUCH LIKE OURS.
1572
01:06:11,635 --> 01:06:13,437
WE'LL LOOK AROUND AND SEE IF
WE CAN FIND A CLIFF LIKE THAT
1573
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:14,471
TO LAUNCH YOU FROM,
1574
01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:17,374
TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF THE AIR CURRENTS.
1575
01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:29,453
I GUESS THERE WERE
NO AIR CURRENTS THAT DAY.
1576
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:30,587
IT SHOULD'VE FLOWN.
1577
01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:32,189
LIGHTS.
1578
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:35,759
THE IMPORTAN THING, LEON,
THAT WE'VE LEARNED IS--
1579
01:06:35,792 --> 01:06:37,227
LEON?
1580
01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:39,329
LEON?!
1581
01:06:39,363 --> 01:06:40,797
WHAT ON EARTH
ARE YOU DOING?!
1582
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,099
I'M TAKING OFF,
1583
01:06:42,132 --> 01:06:43,767
BUT WITH BOTH FEET
ON THE GROUND.
1584
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,203
DIDN'T YOU LEARN ANYTHING
FROM THE FILM?
1585
01:06:46,236 --> 01:06:48,372
SURE. I LEARNED
WHAT KIND OF A BIRD I AM--
1586
01:06:48,405 --> 01:06:50,374
CHICKEN.
1587
01:06:50,407 --> 01:06:52,376
[Stanley chattering]
1588
01:06:55,645 --> 01:06:57,747
YOU KNOW, LEON,
THIS MAN-POWERED FLIGHT PROJECT
1589
01:06:57,781 --> 01:07:00,150
IS MAKING YOU THE HERO
OF THE CAMPUS.
1590
01:07:00,184 --> 01:07:01,751
ALL THE GIRLS SIGH
WHENEVER YOUR NAME IS MENTIONED.
1591
01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:03,720
THEY DO?
1592
01:07:03,753 --> 01:07:05,622
AND SO DO I.
1593
01:07:05,655 --> 01:07:06,723
YOU DO?
1594
01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:07,724
YOU DO?
1595
01:07:07,757 --> 01:07:08,825
(Jennifer)
JUST THINK,
1596
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:10,460
A MAN FLYIING
UNDER HIS OWN POWER.
1597
01:07:10,494 --> 01:07:12,629
AH, I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT IT.
1598
01:07:12,662 --> 01:07:13,763
IT'S FOR THE BIRDS.
1599
01:07:13,797 --> 01:07:15,665
OH, IT'S SUCH
A ROMANTIC IDEA,
1600
01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,068
LIKE THE CONQUEST
OF SPACE,
1601
01:07:18,102 --> 01:07:19,769
LIKE THOSE
ADORABLE ASTRONAUTS,
1602
01:07:19,803 --> 01:07:22,239
LIKE THE PIONEERS
OF THE AMERICAN WEST,
1603
01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:23,740
LIKE THE BOLD EXPLORERS
1604
01:07:23,773 --> 01:07:25,475
WHO FIRST CHARTED
THE POLAR REGIONS.
1605
01:07:25,509 --> 01:07:27,077
YOUR NAME
WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY
1606
01:07:27,111 --> 01:07:29,246
ALONGSIDE THE OTHER
GREAT ONES--COLUMBUS,
1607
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,481
LINDBERGH,
AND THAT LITTLE DOG
1608
01:07:31,515 --> 01:07:33,350
THE RUSSIANS
FIRST SHOT INTO SPACE.
1609
01:07:33,383 --> 01:07:34,518
WHAT WAS
THE LITTLE DOG'S NAME?
1610
01:07:34,551 --> 01:07:36,286
I DON'T REMEMBER.
1611
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:39,223
BUT YOUR NAME WILL BE
REMEMBERED FOREVER.
1612
01:07:39,256 --> 01:07:40,490
IT WILL?
1613
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:43,727
YOU MEAN LIKE COLUMBUS?
1614
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:45,229
AND LINDBERGH?
1615
01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:48,098
AND THAT
LITTLE RUSSIAN DOG?
1616
01:07:48,132 --> 01:07:49,766
WHEN DO WE TAKE OFF?
TOMORROW.
1617
01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:50,767
THAT'S TOO SOON.
1618
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:51,835
IT'S ONLY A TEST FLIGHT
1619
01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:54,304
TO GIVE YOU CONFIDENCE
AND EXPERIENCE.
1620
01:07:54,338 --> 01:07:55,672
FOR THE OFFICIAL FLIGHT,
OF COURSE,
1621
01:07:55,705 --> 01:07:57,107
YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE OFF
UNDER YOUR OWN POWER.
1622
01:07:57,141 --> 01:07:59,143
BUT TOMORROW
WE'RE GOING TO LAUNCH YOU
1623
01:07:59,176 --> 01:08:01,245
FROM THE TOP OF A CAR
GOING 90 MILES AN HOUR.
1624
01:08:01,278 --> 01:08:03,113
90 MILES AN HOUR?!
1625
01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:06,383
YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF GOING
90 MILES AN HOUR, NOT YOU.
1626
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:09,119
WELL, IT'S JUST
THAT IT'S ILLEGAL, A-AND IT'S--
1627
01:08:09,153 --> 01:08:10,854
YES, I'M AFRAID.
1628
01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:12,489
AW, DON'T LET THE
90-MILE-AN-HOUR PART SCARE YOU.
1629
01:08:12,522 --> 01:08:13,490
WE'LL LAUNCH YOU AT 60.
1630
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:14,591
SMILE, LEON.
1631
01:08:14,624 --> 01:08:16,660
YOU LOOK AS THOUGH
YOU'VE BEEN SENTENCED TO DEATH.
1632
01:08:16,693 --> 01:08:18,528
WELL, NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT.
1633
01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:20,130
LEON, I'M GOING TO ELIMINATE
YOUR FEARS.
1634
01:08:20,164 --> 01:08:21,765
YOU'RE CALLING
THE WHOLE THING OFF?
1635
01:08:21,798 --> 01:08:24,368
NO, MERLIN'S GOING TO PREPARE
YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
1636
01:08:24,401 --> 01:08:26,336
CONSIDER THE BUMBLEBEE.
1637
01:08:26,370 --> 01:08:28,738
NOW SCIENTISTS KNOW THAT
IT'S AERODYNAMICALLY UNSOUND
1638
01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:30,207
AND SHOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO FLY.
1639
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:31,508
BUT THE BUMBLEBEE
DOESN'T KNOW IT.
1640
01:08:31,541 --> 01:08:32,742
SO HE GOES
AND FLIES ANYWAY.
1641
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:33,777
AND THE BIRD DOESN'T WORRY
1642
01:08:33,810 --> 01:08:35,379
ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT
HE CAN GET OFF THE GROUND.
1643
01:08:35,412 --> 01:08:37,614
HE JUST TAKES OFF
AND FLIES.
1644
01:08:37,647 --> 01:08:39,183
AND MERLIN WANTS YOU
TO THINK LIKE A BIRD.
1645
01:08:39,216 --> 01:08:41,518
HOW DO I DO THAT?
WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU.
1646
01:08:41,551 --> 01:08:44,254
YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP HERE,
AND I'LL SING TO YOU ALL NIGHT.
1647
01:08:44,288 --> 01:08:46,256
OH.
AND WILL YOU HOLD MY HAND?
1648
01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:48,658
OH, I'M NOT GOING TO BE HERE.
I'LL SING TO YOU ON A RECORD.
1649
01:08:48,692 --> 01:08:50,760
OH, I SEE.
IT'S SLEEP
LEARNING, LEON,
1650
01:08:50,794 --> 01:08:54,364
THE SAME TECHNIQUE THAT GOT YOU
AN "A" IN ENGLISH LIT.
1651
01:08:54,398 --> 01:08:55,932
THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN
TO THINK LIKE A BIRD.
1652
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:59,336
AND TOMORROW YOU'LL BE THE FIRST
MAN TO FLY UNDER HIS OWN POWER.
1653
01:08:59,369 --> 01:09:01,771
[chattering]
THERE YOU ARE, LEON.
NOW, TO BED WE GO.
1654
01:09:01,805 --> 01:09:05,141
JUST RELAX,
AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.
1655
01:09:08,278 --> 01:09:09,846
JUST EMPTY YOUR MIND.
1656
01:09:11,948 --> 01:09:14,551
THAT'S IT.
VERY GOOD.
1657
01:09:14,584 --> 01:09:15,785
I CAN SEE
BY THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE,
1658
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:17,487
YOU DON'T HAVE
A THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD.
1659
01:09:17,521 --> 01:09:19,523
JUST KEEP IT THAT WAY.
1660
01:09:19,556 --> 01:09:22,626
YOUR HEAD
IS AN EMPTY CUP,
1661
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,529
WHICH WE WILL FILL WITH
THE THOUGHTS WE WANT IN IT.
1662
01:09:25,562 --> 01:09:26,663
GOOD NIGHT, LEON.
1663
01:09:26,696 --> 01:09:28,164
PLEASANT DREAMS.
1664
01:09:32,702 --> 01:09:35,205
(Jennifer on record player)
HELLO, LEON.
1665
01:09:35,239 --> 01:09:37,674
I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
1666
01:09:37,707 --> 01:09:39,943
JUST SAY TO YOURSELF,
1667
01:09:39,976 --> 01:09:43,647
"I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK."
1668
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:48,618
* NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY
1669
01:09:48,652 --> 01:09:52,756
* I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH
1670
01:09:52,789 --> 01:09:55,925
* IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY
1671
01:09:55,959 --> 01:09:59,663
* AS SWIFTLY AS AN ARROW
1672
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:03,667
* AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW
1673
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,602
* I CAN FLY
1674
01:10:05,635 --> 01:10:07,937
* I CAN FLY
1675
01:10:07,971 --> 01:10:11,575
* I CAN FLY *
1676
01:10:32,796 --> 01:10:35,565
[birds honking]
1677
01:10:58,555 --> 01:11:01,291
[honking continues]
1678
01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:05,395
[honks]
1679
01:11:10,334 --> 01:11:12,436
[pigeon cooing]
1680
01:11:12,469 --> 01:11:14,571
[squawking]
1681
01:11:27,083 --> 01:11:29,719
[crow cawing]
1682
01:11:31,621 --> 01:11:33,890
[caws]
1683
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:43,600
OH.
1684
01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:53,076
OKAY, LEON,
HERE WE GO.
1685
01:11:53,109 --> 01:11:54,344
UH, JENNIFER?
1686
01:11:54,378 --> 01:11:55,345
YES, LEON?
1687
01:11:55,379 --> 01:11:56,880
SING TO ME AGAIN.
1688
01:11:56,913 --> 01:12:00,784
ALL RIGHT, LEON.
1689
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:03,787
* I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK
1690
01:12:03,820 --> 01:12:07,524
* NEVER WALK,
I JUST FLY *
1691
01:12:07,557 --> 01:12:10,527
* I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH
1692
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,563
* IN A RUSH
THROUGH THE SKY *
1693
01:12:13,597 --> 01:12:16,700
[both singing]
* AS SWIFTLY AS AN ARROW
1694
01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:19,836
* AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW
1695
01:12:19,869 --> 01:12:21,438
* I CAN FLY
1696
01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:22,839
* I CAN FLY
1697
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:25,709
* I CAN FLY
1698
01:12:27,944 --> 01:12:29,946
HE'S OKAY NOW.
1699
01:12:29,979 --> 01:12:31,815
STANLEY, BE SURE
AND TRIP THE RELEASE
[engine turning]
1700
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:33,850
AS SOON
AS I PUT ON THE BRAKE.
1701
01:12:37,454 --> 01:12:40,490
* I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK
1702
01:12:40,524 --> 01:12:43,460
* NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY
1703
01:12:43,493 --> 01:12:45,629
25...
1704
01:12:45,662 --> 01:12:48,565
30...
1705
01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:49,766
35...
1706
01:12:49,799 --> 01:12:51,568
40...
1707
01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:56,940
(Leon)
* I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK
1708
01:12:56,973 --> 01:12:59,709
* NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY
1709
01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:02,479
* I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH
1710
01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:04,448
* IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY
1711
01:13:04,481 --> 01:13:06,583
52...
1712
01:13:06,616 --> 01:13:07,751
54...
1713
01:13:07,784 --> 01:13:10,420
* I CAN FLY, I CAN FLY
1714
01:13:10,454 --> 01:13:12,789
60!
1715
01:13:12,822 --> 01:13:14,090
[brakes squeal]
WHEE!
1716
01:13:16,460 --> 01:13:17,927
YOU'VE DONE IT!
YOU'VE DONE IT!
1717
01:13:21,498 --> 01:13:25,569
* I CAN FLY LIKE A HAWK
1718
01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:29,639
* NEVER WALK, I JUST FLY
1719
01:13:29,673 --> 01:13:33,577
* I CAN FLY LIKE A THRUSH
1720
01:13:33,610 --> 01:13:37,080
* IN A RUSH THROUGH THE SKY
1721
01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:40,850
* AS SWIFTLY
AS AN ARROW *
1722
01:13:40,884 --> 01:13:45,188
* AS GENTLY AS A SPARROW
1723
01:13:45,221 --> 01:13:46,556
* I CAN FLY
1724
01:13:46,590 --> 01:13:48,725
* I CAN FLY
1725
01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:52,195
* I CAN FLY
1726
01:13:52,228 --> 01:13:55,231
MERLIN, CAN I ASK
A DUMB QUESTION?
SURE.
1727
01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,667
HOW DOES HE LAND?
1728
01:13:57,701 --> 01:13:59,969
THAT'S THE ONE BUG
I HAVEN'T IRONED OUT YET.
1729
01:14:00,003 --> 01:14:03,973
* I CAN FLY
1730
01:14:04,007 --> 01:14:05,575
[breathing heavily]
1731
01:14:05,609 --> 01:14:07,110
I CAN FLY.
1732
01:14:07,143 --> 01:14:08,978
I CAN...
1733
01:14:09,012 --> 01:14:10,580
FLY?
1734
01:14:10,614 --> 01:14:12,582
FLY?!
1735
01:14:12,616 --> 01:14:14,884
I CAN'T FLY!
1736
01:14:14,918 --> 01:14:16,753
HE'S FALLING!
1737
01:14:28,865 --> 01:14:31,801
DON'T PANIC!
LAND ON THIS!
1738
01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:35,138
RIGHT THERE, MERLIN.
1739
01:14:35,171 --> 01:14:36,906
RIGHT THERE, RIGHT--NO.
HEY!
1740
01:14:36,940 --> 01:14:38,174
OVER HERE, MERLIN!
1741
01:14:39,543 --> 01:14:41,811
THAT'S THE WRONG WAY!
1742
01:14:41,845 --> 01:14:43,246
THIS WAY!
1743
01:14:43,279 --> 01:14:45,749
GET THAT THING
UNDER ME!
1744
01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,751
MERLIN, HELP ME!
QUICK!
1745
01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:49,719
FASTER.
1746
01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:52,556
GO FASTER.
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER!
1747
01:14:52,589 --> 01:14:54,691
(Merlin)
I'M GOING QUICK.
DON'T WORRY!
1748
01:14:54,724 --> 01:14:56,726
RUN FASTER, MERLIN.
1749
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:57,827
COME ON!
1750
01:14:57,861 --> 01:15:00,029
RUN FASTER, PLEASE!
1751
01:15:00,063 --> 01:15:02,999
TH--THAT'S IT, MERLIN.
1752
01:15:03,032 --> 01:15:04,568
BUT RUN FASTER!
1753
01:15:04,601 --> 01:15:06,235
FASTER!
1754
01:15:06,269 --> 01:15:08,104
FASTER!
1755
01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:10,974
OH!
1756
01:15:11,007 --> 01:15:12,141
UNH!
1757
01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:15,979
HELP!
1758
01:15:16,012 --> 01:15:18,081
HELP!
SOMEBODY HELP!
1759
01:15:18,114 --> 01:15:19,883
LOOK OUT
FOR THE HOG WALLOW!
1760
01:15:19,916 --> 01:15:22,218
WHAT HOG WALLOW?!
1761
01:15:22,251 --> 01:15:23,820
OH!
1762
01:15:23,853 --> 01:15:28,091
AAAH!
1763
01:15:28,124 --> 01:15:29,626
OH, LEON!
1764
01:15:29,659 --> 01:15:31,260
[laughing]
[pigs squealing]
1765
01:15:41,638 --> 01:15:43,139
LEON, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1766
01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:46,009
SAY SOMETHING, LEON.
WHY DOESN'T HE SAY ANYTHING?
1767
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:49,145
LEON, SAY SOMETHING.
ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
1768
01:15:49,178 --> 01:15:51,280
I DON'T WANT
A MEMORIAL STADIUM.
1769
01:15:51,314 --> 01:15:52,749
I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN
IN HISTORY
1770
01:15:52,782 --> 01:15:55,018
WITH COLUMBUS
AND THE PIONEERS
1771
01:15:55,051 --> 01:15:57,821
AND THAT LITTLE RUSSIAN DOG
WHOSE NAME YOU CAN'T REMEMBER.
1772
01:15:57,854 --> 01:15:59,122
I QUIT!
1773
01:15:59,155 --> 01:16:00,957
K-W-I-T, "KWIT"!
1774
01:16:00,990 --> 01:16:03,259
[groans]
1775
01:16:03,292 --> 01:16:04,728
[spits]
1776
01:16:04,761 --> 01:16:06,095
OH, MRS. GOSSETT,
ARE YOU SURE
1777
01:16:06,129 --> 01:16:07,697
THERE'VE BEEN
NO CALLS FOR ME?
1778
01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,265
THAT'S THE THIRD TIME
YOU'VE ASKED IN THE LAST HOUR.
1779
01:16:09,298 --> 01:16:11,968
THIS IS GOOD. BEST EATIN' I HAD
SINCE I LEFT NEW ENGLAND.
1780
01:16:12,001 --> 01:16:13,603
THANK YOU.
PLEASE HAVE SOME MORE.
1781
01:16:13,637 --> 01:16:15,605
UH, NO, THANKS.
I HAD THREE HELPINGS ALREADY.
1782
01:16:15,639 --> 01:16:17,006
FOUR.
1783
01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:19,008
OH, OH, BUT WHO COUNTS?
[laughing]
1784
01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:21,310
[doorbell rings]
UH, I'LL GET IT.
1785
01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:33,823
THE TEST--
HOW DID IT GO?
1786
01:16:35,191 --> 01:16:38,828
IT WASN'T THAT BAD...
1787
01:16:38,862 --> 01:16:40,296
WAS IT, JENNIFER?
1788
01:16:40,329 --> 01:16:41,430
BUT...
1789
01:16:41,464 --> 01:16:44,267
MERLIN, THE IMPORTANT THING IS,
YOU MUST NOT GIVE UP.
1790
01:16:44,300 --> 01:16:46,402
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN FLYING
WITHIN TWO DAYS,
1791
01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:48,404
MIDVALE COLLEGE
LOSES $10 MILLION
1792
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:49,839
AND ITS FOOTBALL TEAM.
1793
01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:51,074
JUDGE, TRY
AND UNDERSTAND.
1794
01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:54,143
I TRIED TO GET AROUND THE LAWS
OF AERODYNAMICS AND FAILED.
1795
01:16:54,177 --> 01:16:55,779
THE PROJECT WAS DOOMED
FROM THE START!
1796
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:58,014
[whispering]
SHH, QUIET, MERLIN.
1797
01:16:58,047 --> 01:16:59,949
WE DON'T WANT MR. GREEN
TO GET DISCOURAGED.
1798
01:16:59,983 --> 01:17:01,985
[whispering]
WHAT ABOUT ME?
1799
01:17:02,018 --> 01:17:03,853
I'M DISCOURAGED
UP TO HERE.
1800
01:17:03,887 --> 01:17:05,021
OH, BUT THAT'S DIFFERENT.
1801
01:17:05,054 --> 01:17:07,223
DON'T YOU THINK EINSTEIN
WAS DISCOURAGED
1802
01:17:07,256 --> 01:17:10,293
BEFORE HE DISCOVERED...
WHATEVER IT WAS HE DISCOVERED.
1803
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,428
BUT DID HE GIVE UP?
NO, HE DID NOT.
1804
01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:15,031
HE KEPT RIGHT ON
UNTIL HE DISCOVERED
1805
01:17:15,064 --> 01:17:17,000
W-W-WHATEVER IT WAS
HE DISCOVERED.
1806
01:17:17,033 --> 01:17:21,137
JUDGE, LISTEN,
"A," THE TEST FLIGHT WAS A BUST.
1807
01:17:21,170 --> 01:17:24,373
"B," LEON QUIT.
"C," I QUIT.
1808
01:17:25,909 --> 01:17:27,143
I'M SORRY, JUDGE.
1809
01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:28,712
WAIT A MINUTE,
JENNIFER.
1810
01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:30,113
IT'S UP TO YOU NOW.
1811
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,748
YOU MUST GET MERLIN
BACK ON THE TRACK.
1812
01:17:31,781 --> 01:17:34,718
[whispering]
BUT I COULDN'T POSSIBLY--
1813
01:17:34,751 --> 01:17:37,420
LISTEN, BEHIND EVERY MAN
WHO EVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING,
1814
01:17:37,453 --> 01:17:40,223
THERE'S A WOMAN
NAGGING HIM ON TO SUCCESS.
1815
01:17:40,256 --> 01:17:41,390
ON YOUR FAIR SHOULDERS
1816
01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:44,393
RESTS THE FORTUNE
OF MIDVALE COLLEGE.
1817
01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,996
YOU MUST PERSUADE MERLIN
NOT TO GIVE UP.
1818
01:17:47,030 --> 01:17:49,398
PERSUADE HIM?
HOW?
1819
01:17:49,432 --> 01:17:52,401
GIRLS ARE BORN KNOWING HOW,
ESPECIALLY THE PRETTY ONES.
1820
01:17:52,435 --> 01:17:54,771
(Merlin)
COMING, JEN?
1821
01:17:54,804 --> 01:17:56,105
GOOD NIGHT, JUDGE.
1822
01:17:56,139 --> 01:17:57,807
GOOD NIGHT.
1823
01:18:06,215 --> 01:18:08,718
THIS IS THE FINEST CIGAR
I EVER SMOKED.
1824
01:18:08,752 --> 01:18:09,986
I'M GLAD
YOU'RE ENJOYING IT.
1825
01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:11,420
THOUGHT I HEARD MERLIN.
WAS THAT MERLIN?
1826
01:18:11,454 --> 01:18:13,890
MERLIN?
OH, MERLIN.
1827
01:18:13,923 --> 01:18:15,158
YES, THAT WAS MERLIN.
1828
01:18:15,191 --> 01:18:17,761
WELL, HOW DID
THE TEST FLIGHT GO?
1829
01:18:17,794 --> 01:18:18,762
MARVELOUSLY.
1830
01:18:18,795 --> 01:18:20,764
IT WAS A SMASHING SUCCESS,
1831
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,866
ABSOLUTELY SMASHING.
1832
01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:26,302
WHAT MORE CAN I DO, JEN?
I'VE TRIED AND FAILED.
1833
01:18:26,335 --> 01:18:29,438
QUITTERS NEVER WIN,
AND WINNERS NEVER QUIT.
1834
01:18:29,472 --> 01:18:31,174
MAN CAN'T FLY
UNDER HIS OWN POWER.
1835
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,176
LOOK, IF YOU LIKE,
I CAN SHOW YOU MATHEMATICALLY
1836
01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:35,478
WHY THIS IS
AERODYNAMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
1837
01:18:35,511 --> 01:18:37,313
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT ALL THAT.
1838
01:18:37,346 --> 01:18:39,315
I JUST KNOW
YOU CAN DO IT.
1839
01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:41,885
BUT GREAT MINDS
THROUGHOUT THE AGES
1840
01:18:41,918 --> 01:18:43,753
HAVE TRIED TO SOLVE
THIS PROBLEM--
1841
01:18:43,787 --> 01:18:46,956
ICARUS,
LEONARDO DA VINCI.
1842
01:18:46,990 --> 01:18:50,126
AND NOW MERLIN JONES.
1843
01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:52,328
THAT'S YOU, DEAR.
1844
01:18:52,361 --> 01:18:54,497
NO, MAN-POWERED FLIGHT'S
IMPOSSIBLE.
1845
01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:56,332
NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE
FOR YOU.
1846
01:18:56,365 --> 01:18:58,234
THIS IS.
1847
01:18:58,267 --> 01:19:00,536
JEN, I'VE GOT
TO FACE THE FACTS.
1848
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:02,906
I DESIGNED THE BEST POSSIBLE
FLYING MACHINE I COULD,
1849
01:19:02,939 --> 01:19:04,407
BUT IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
1850
01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:08,144
AND WHY WASN'T IT GOOD ENOUGH?
BECAUSE MAN ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH.
1851
01:19:08,177 --> 01:19:10,446
THEN WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE MAN STRONGER.
1852
01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:12,281
JEN.
1853
01:19:12,315 --> 01:19:13,382
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
1854
01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:15,551
YOU JUST PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT
WITH YOUR DUMB QUESTION.
1855
01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,921
ON WHAT?
1856
01:19:20,556 --> 01:19:22,258
[growling]
OH!
1857
01:19:22,291 --> 01:19:23,793
MERLIN!
1858
01:19:25,161 --> 01:19:26,329
OH!
1859
01:19:26,362 --> 01:19:27,897
MERLIN!
1860
01:19:27,931 --> 01:19:29,432
MERLIN, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT YOU.
1861
01:19:29,465 --> 01:19:30,499
I WAS SCARED.
1862
01:19:30,533 --> 01:19:32,568
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS DOING.
1863
01:19:32,601 --> 01:19:34,804
YOU DID JUST
WHAT I WANTED YOU TO.
1864
01:19:34,838 --> 01:19:38,274
YOU MEAN
YOU WANTED ME TO...
I FRIGHTENED YOU.
1865
01:19:38,307 --> 01:19:40,944
AND THE FEAR SENT A SURGE OF
ADRENALINE INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM
1866
01:19:40,977 --> 01:19:43,012
THE ADRENALINE
MADE YOUR HEART BEAT FASTER
1867
01:19:43,046 --> 01:19:45,214
AND RELEASED SUGAR
INTO YOUR CIRCULATORY SYSTEM,
1868
01:19:45,248 --> 01:19:47,450
PROVIDING YOU
WITH A TEMPORARY SUPER ENERGY,
1869
01:19:47,483 --> 01:19:48,952
A SUPERSTRENGTH.
1870
01:19:48,985 --> 01:19:51,320
MERLIN, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
1871
01:19:51,354 --> 01:19:52,989
I'M FINE.
DON'T YOU SEE, JEN?
1872
01:19:53,022 --> 01:19:55,458
IF YOU DID THE SAME THING NOW
THAT THE MOMENT OF FEAR IS GONE,
1873
01:19:55,491 --> 01:19:57,460
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A FRACTION
OF THE POWER IN YOUR PUNCH.
1874
01:19:57,493 --> 01:19:59,062
YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO HURT ME AT ALL.
1875
01:19:59,095 --> 01:20:01,030
I DON'T WANT
TO HURT YOU.
1876
01:20:01,064 --> 01:20:02,598
JEN, WILL YOU TRY
AND BE SCIENTIFIC FOR A MINUTE
1877
01:20:02,631 --> 01:20:04,901
AND NOT JUST FEMININE?
1878
01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:06,903
DON'T YOU SEE? ADRENALINE
IS THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEM,
1879
01:20:06,936 --> 01:20:09,172
BECAUSE IT
MAKES MEN STRONGER.
1880
01:20:09,205 --> 01:20:11,307
REMEMBER WHEN I DID THIS?
1881
01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,409
[growling]
1882
01:20:13,442 --> 01:20:15,411
STOP THAT!
1883
01:20:15,444 --> 01:20:17,180
LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE!
1884
01:20:17,213 --> 01:20:19,015
AAH!
1885
01:20:19,048 --> 01:20:22,485
I TRUST, YOUNG LADY,
THAT BRUTE DIDN'T HURT YOU.
1886
01:20:22,518 --> 01:20:24,888
YOU HURT HIM!
1887
01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,229
OH!
1888
01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:34,463
YOU SEE, JEN?
ADRENALINE AGAIN!
1889
01:20:34,497 --> 01:20:35,899
ANGER WORKS
THE SAME WAY AS FEAR,
1890
01:20:35,932 --> 01:20:37,300
AND WITH ADRENALINE
IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM,
1891
01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:39,468
YOU'RE AS STRONG
AS AN OVERGROWN GORILLA.
1892
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:42,071
MERLIN JONES.
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
1893
01:20:42,105 --> 01:20:43,172
OH, BUT, MR. DEARBORNE--
1894
01:20:43,206 --> 01:20:44,073
OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
1895
01:20:44,107 --> 01:20:46,342
STAY AWAY FROM ME,
YOU FEMALE MONSTER, YOU.
1896
01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:47,343
BUT, MISTER--
1897
01:20:47,376 --> 01:20:49,578
ONE STEP NEARER,
AND I SHALL YELL FOR THE POLICE.
1898
01:20:49,612 --> 01:20:51,614
I JUST WANTED
TO EXPLAIN.
NO, NO!
1899
01:20:58,087 --> 01:20:59,055
[laughs]
1900
01:20:59,088 --> 01:21:00,756
COME ON,
WE GOT WORK TO DO.
1901
01:21:04,627 --> 01:21:06,129
(Merlin)
WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO
1902
01:21:06,162 --> 01:21:08,331
IS SYNTHESIZE
AN ADRENALINE DERIVATIVE
1903
01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:10,633
THAT WON'T JUST GIVE A BURST
OF SUPERSTRENGTH,
1904
01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:13,937
BUT WILL PRODUCE
A SUSTAINED SURGE OF POWER.
1905
01:21:13,970 --> 01:21:16,639
BUT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THIS ALMOST ALL NIGHT.
1906
01:21:16,672 --> 01:21:18,474
WOULDN'T BE EASIER
TO MAKE A PERSON ANGRY?
1907
01:21:18,507 --> 01:21:19,943
BUT YOU COULDN'T KEEP
HIM ANGRY,
1908
01:21:19,976 --> 01:21:21,444
ESPECIALLY AFTER
HE WERE AIRBORNE.
1909
01:21:21,477 --> 01:21:24,180
NOW, THEN...
1910
01:21:24,213 --> 01:21:27,583
LIQUID STRENGTH.
1911
01:21:27,616 --> 01:21:29,318
NOW, LET'S SEE
IF IT WORKS.
1912
01:21:29,352 --> 01:21:31,320
OH, NO! I'M NOT GOING
TO LET YOU TAKE IT.
1913
01:21:31,354 --> 01:21:34,590
THAT'S STANLEY'S JOB,
ISN'T IT, STANLEY?
1914
01:21:37,326 --> 01:21:39,328
YOU SEE?
HE LIKES IT.
1915
01:21:46,102 --> 01:21:49,072
[growling loudly]
1916
01:22:11,427 --> 01:22:14,430
[grunting loudly]
1917
01:22:14,463 --> 01:22:17,066
LOOK AT THAT.
1918
01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:20,103
[accordion noises]
1919
01:22:21,737 --> 01:22:24,440
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
1920
01:22:27,543 --> 01:22:30,346
[metal warping]
1921
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:32,715
[chattering wildly]
1922
01:22:32,748 --> 01:22:36,285
THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, STANLEY.
YOU PROVED YOUR POINT.
1923
01:22:36,319 --> 01:22:38,354
STANLEY!
PUT THAT DOWN AT ONCE!
1924
01:22:38,387 --> 01:22:40,423
[growling]
1925
01:22:46,562 --> 01:22:49,565
[chattering wildly]
1926
01:22:49,598 --> 01:22:52,101
WELL, ANYWAY, THIS MEANS
THAT WITH LIQUID STRENGTH,
1927
01:22:52,135 --> 01:22:53,469
MAN-POWERED FLIGHT
WILL WORK.
1928
01:22:53,502 --> 01:22:55,171
I'LL CALL THE JUDGE
AND TELL HIM
1929
01:22:55,204 --> 01:22:56,739
TO HAVE DARIUS GREEN
ON THE FIELD IN THE MORNING
1930
01:22:56,772 --> 01:22:58,274
AND TO MAKE SURE HE BRINGS
HIS CHECKBOOK WITH HIM.
1931
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,643
BUT LEON QUIT.
WE DON'T NEED LEON.
1932
01:23:00,676 --> 01:23:03,412
NOW THAT WE HAVE LIQUID
STRENGTH, I CAN DO IT MYSELF.
1933
01:23:03,446 --> 01:23:06,015
OH, MERLIN,
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
1934
01:23:06,049 --> 01:23:08,084
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU.
1935
01:23:08,117 --> 01:23:10,319
YOU ASKED THE MOST BRILLIANT
DUMB QUESTIONS
1936
01:23:10,353 --> 01:23:11,387
OF ANYONE I KNOW.
1937
01:23:11,420 --> 01:23:14,157
OH, THAT'S THE NICEST THING
YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME.
1938
01:23:14,190 --> 01:23:15,591
JEN, YOU'RE
REALLY WONDERFUL.
1939
01:23:15,624 --> 01:23:16,592
MERLIN!
1940
01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:18,494
STANLEY, PUT ME DOWN.
1941
01:23:18,527 --> 01:23:20,463
STANLEY,
YOU PUT MERLIN DOWN.
PUT ME DOWN.
1942
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:21,464
COME ON, NOW, PUT ME DOWN.
1943
01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:22,765
PUT HIM DOWN.
STANLEY.
1944
01:23:22,798 --> 01:23:24,200
STANLEY, PUT HIM DOWN.
STANLEY, COME ON.
1945
01:23:24,233 --> 01:23:26,102
STANLEY.
YOU PUT HIM DOWN
THIS MINUTE.
1946
01:23:26,135 --> 01:23:27,503
STANLEY, PUT ME DOWN.
1947
01:23:27,536 --> 01:23:30,506
LET ME SAY, MR. GREEN,
HOW GRATEFUL WE ARE
1948
01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:32,508
FOR YOUR
VERY GENEROUS OFFER.
1949
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:33,642
OH, NOTHING TO IT.
1950
01:23:33,676 --> 01:23:35,744
THAT YOUNG FELLA THERE CAN CLEAR
MY GRANDDADDY'S NAME,
1951
01:23:35,778 --> 01:23:37,346
WORTH EVERY PENNY
I HAVE IN THE WORLD.
1952
01:23:37,380 --> 01:23:38,747
WELL, COME AND SIT DOWN,
MR. GREEN.
1953
01:23:38,781 --> 01:23:40,483
WE'RE ABOUT READY
TO START.
1954
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:41,350
HARDLY LOOKS LIKE A MAN
1955
01:23:41,384 --> 01:23:43,086
WITH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS
TO GIVE AWAY.
1956
01:23:43,119 --> 01:23:45,354
CAN'T TELL A MAN'S WEALTH
BY HIS LOOKS,
1957
01:23:45,388 --> 01:23:46,755
ONLY BY HIS BANK ACCOUNT.
1958
01:23:46,789 --> 01:23:48,357
BUT LOOK
AT HIS CLOTHES.
1959
01:23:48,391 --> 01:23:51,094
THAT'S THE WAY
THESE RICH ECCENTRICS ARE.
1960
01:23:51,127 --> 01:23:52,228
THE MORE MONEY
THEY'VE GOT,
1961
01:23:52,261 --> 01:23:55,131
THE MORE DEPLORABLE
THEIR CLOTHES.
1962
01:23:55,164 --> 01:23:56,365
UH, HAVE A CIGAR.
1963
01:23:56,399 --> 01:23:57,633
[chuckles]
THANKS.
1964
01:23:57,666 --> 01:23:59,368
SHALL WE, UH, GO AHEAD?
1965
01:23:59,402 --> 01:24:01,770
UH, YEAH.
1966
01:24:01,804 --> 01:24:03,706
TAKE OFF WHEN READY!
1967
01:24:03,739 --> 01:24:06,609
A-OKAY!
1968
01:24:06,642 --> 01:24:08,644
GOOD LUCK, MERLIN.
1969
01:24:08,677 --> 01:24:10,379
THANKS, JEN.
1970
01:24:10,413 --> 01:24:12,115
PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
1971
01:24:14,283 --> 01:24:15,351
AH.
1972
01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:16,652
[gulps]
1973
01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:20,523
[exhaling deeply]
1974
01:24:34,303 --> 01:24:35,771
OFF WE GO.
1975
01:24:40,276 --> 01:24:41,577
[whirring]
1976
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,612
[chattering]
1977
01:24:47,516 --> 01:24:49,752
[chattering]
1978
01:24:49,785 --> 01:24:53,522
[whirring continues]
1979
01:25:09,505 --> 01:25:11,207
[chattering]
1980
01:25:15,411 --> 01:25:16,745
[chattering loudly]
1981
01:25:18,814 --> 01:25:22,185
[whirring intensifies]
1982
01:25:22,218 --> 01:25:23,386
[chattering]
1983
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:31,260
HE MADE IT!
1984
01:25:31,294 --> 01:25:33,529
I SURE WISH MY GRANDDADDY
COULD SEE HIM NOW.
1985
01:25:42,538 --> 01:25:44,340
LOOK OUT!
1986
01:25:44,373 --> 01:25:47,176
LOOK AT THAT.
HE CAN STAY UP THERE FOR HOURS.
1987
01:25:56,285 --> 01:25:57,920
ISN'T HE WONDERFUL?
1988
01:26:02,858 --> 01:26:05,394
I'M GETTING SO SURE
OF THAT YOUNG FELLA
1989
01:26:05,428 --> 01:26:08,364
THAT I'M GONNA WRITE OUT
THIS CHECK RIGHT HERE AND NOW.
1990
01:26:08,397 --> 01:26:10,399
OH, THERE'S NO HURRY,
BUT HERE'S THE PEN.
1991
01:26:10,433 --> 01:26:12,735
[laughs]
1992
01:26:12,768 --> 01:26:14,270
WELL, I DON'T EXPECT
WE'LL NEED
1993
01:26:14,303 --> 01:26:17,273
ASTERBILT'S SMALL CHANGE NOW,
RIGHT, GENTLEMEN?
1994
01:26:17,306 --> 01:26:18,641
QUITE RIGHT.
THAT'S THE END
OF ASTERBILT.
1995
01:26:18,674 --> 01:26:21,510
AND WE CAN KEEP FOOTBALL
AT MIDVALE.
1996
01:26:21,544 --> 01:26:22,645
HERE YOU ARE, JUDGE.
1997
01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,247
THANK YOU, MR. GREEN.
1998
01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:25,248
[gasps]
1999
01:26:25,281 --> 01:26:27,650
THIS IS NOT
FOR $10 MILLION.
2000
01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:30,453
NO. HE'S DOING
SO WELL UP THERE,
2001
01:26:30,486 --> 01:26:33,222
I THOUGHT
I'D UP THE ANTE.
2002
01:26:33,256 --> 01:26:36,292
[whirring continues]
2003
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,395
HE DOUBLED IT!
2004
01:26:39,428 --> 01:26:42,965
HE PUT $20 MILLION!
2005
01:27:03,686 --> 01:27:05,521
$20 MILLION.
2006
01:27:05,554 --> 01:27:07,523
WHERE'S DEARBORNE?
I'D LIKE HIM TO SEE THAT CHECK.
2007
01:27:07,556 --> 01:27:08,791
HE SAID HE MIGHT BE
A LITTLE LATE,
2008
01:27:08,824 --> 01:27:11,026
BUT THAT HE'D BE HERE.
2009
01:27:11,059 --> 01:27:13,796
UH, YOU KNOW
SOMETHING, JUDGE?
2010
01:27:13,829 --> 01:27:15,030
I NEVER THOUGHT
HE'D DO IT.
2011
01:27:15,063 --> 01:27:17,933
OH, I NEVER HAD ANY DOUBTS.
MERLIN'S A VERY BRILLIANT BOY.
2012
01:27:17,966 --> 01:27:19,935
HE ALWAYS
SEEMED SHATTER-PATED TO ME.
2013
01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:21,270
SHATTER-PATED?
2014
01:27:21,304 --> 01:27:22,938
UH, TOUCHED,
ADDLED, MOONSTRUCK.
2015
01:27:22,971 --> 01:27:25,541
WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW
HE MIGHT GIVE THAT IMPRESSION.
2016
01:27:25,574 --> 01:27:28,544
YOU SEE, HIS MIND
IS ALWAYS PREOCCUPIED
2017
01:27:28,577 --> 01:27:30,279
WITH SCIENTIFIC PROBLEMS.
2018
01:27:30,313 --> 01:27:31,447
UH, THAT BUNCH
OVER THERE--
2019
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,749
THEY'RE ALL
SHATTER-PATED, TOO.
2020
01:27:33,782 --> 01:27:35,551
[car door closes]
WELL, THEY'RE
VERY EXCITED.
2021
01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:38,554
IT ISN'T EVERY DAY THAT THEY SEE
A CHECK FOR $20 MILLION.
2022
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:40,022
YOU KNOW
SOMETHING, JUDGE?
2023
01:27:40,055 --> 01:27:43,392
I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT YOU,
AND I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION
2024
01:27:43,426 --> 01:27:44,660
YOU'RE SHATTER-PATED, TOO.
2025
01:27:44,693 --> 01:27:46,529
HELLO, HENRY.
WE FOUND YOU AGAIN.
2026
01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:47,963
WALTER, TONY,
2027
01:27:47,996 --> 01:27:48,997
THIS IS
JUDGE HOLMSBY.
2028
01:27:49,031 --> 01:27:49,998
(Walter)
HI, JUDGE.
2029
01:27:50,032 --> 01:27:51,934
WELL, COME ALONG,
HENRY.
2030
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:54,069
BUT, GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
THIS IS MR. DARIUS GREEN.
2031
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:56,805
DARIUS GREEN?
[chuckles]
2032
01:27:56,839 --> 01:27:58,441
ONCE HE WAS
ALEXANDER HAMILTON,
2033
01:27:58,474 --> 01:28:00,543
AND HE TRIED TO GIVE AWAY
THE UNITED STATES TREASURY.
2034
01:28:00,576 --> 01:28:01,544
[gasps]
2035
01:28:01,577 --> 01:28:03,412
DID HE OFFER YOU
ANY MONEY?
2036
01:28:03,446 --> 01:28:07,350
WELL, JUST--JUST $20 MILLION
FOR MIDVALE COLLEGE.
2037
01:28:07,383 --> 01:28:08,817
WELL, HE MUST HAVE
LIKED YOU.
2038
01:28:08,851 --> 01:28:10,986
HE ONLY OFFERED HARVARD
$5 MILLION.
2039
01:28:11,019 --> 01:28:13,922
[stammering]
YOU MEAN THE WHOLE THING...
2040
01:28:13,956 --> 01:28:17,092
HIS GENEROSITY
IS EQUALED ONLY BY HIS POVERTY.
2041
01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:19,094
UH-HUH.
COME ALONG, HENRY.
2042
01:28:19,127 --> 01:28:20,663
GOT TO HUMOR THEM, JUDGE.
2043
01:28:20,696 --> 01:28:22,998
THEY'RE NICE FELLOWS,
BUT THEY'RE BOTH SHATTER-PATED.
2044
01:28:23,031 --> 01:28:24,066
[laughs]
2045
01:28:24,099 --> 01:28:26,369
GOOD TO SEE YOU, TONY.
HIYA, WALTER.
2046
01:28:29,538 --> 01:28:31,907
(Judge Holmsby)
MERLIN!
2047
01:28:31,940 --> 01:28:34,577
MERLIN, IT'S ALL A MISTAKE!
THE DEAL'S OFF!
2048
01:28:34,610 --> 01:28:36,512
WHY?!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?!
2049
01:28:36,545 --> 01:28:40,416
MR. DARIUS GREEN DOESN'T HAVE
ANY MILLIONS TO GIVE!
2050
01:28:40,449 --> 01:28:42,084
HE'S SHATTER-PATED!
2051
01:28:42,117 --> 01:28:45,020
WE'RE ALL OF US
SHATTER-PATED!
2052
01:28:45,053 --> 01:28:48,424
OH, NO!
2053
01:28:48,457 --> 01:28:50,092
OH, NO!
2054
01:28:52,027 --> 01:28:53,562
MERLIN, BE CAREFUL!
2055
01:28:58,634 --> 01:29:00,436
[squealing]
2056
01:29:05,140 --> 01:29:06,409
HENRY, HENRY!
2057
01:29:06,442 --> 01:29:07,710
COME BACK!
2058
01:29:14,149 --> 01:29:16,985
[brakes squeal]
2059
01:29:17,019 --> 01:29:20,823
AHHH.
2060
01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:22,525
[laughs]
OH, YEAH.
2061
01:29:22,558 --> 01:29:24,827
MERLIN, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
2062
01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:26,429
YEAH, YEAH,
I'M ALL RIGHT.
2063
01:29:26,462 --> 01:29:28,664
WELL, JUDGE, THERE GOES FOOTBALL
AT MIDVALE.
2064
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,401
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
A MUD BATH?
2065
01:29:32,435 --> 01:29:34,102
[laughs]
NOW, TAKE IT EASY, JUDGE.
2066
01:29:34,136 --> 01:29:36,104
NO SENSE BEING
A BAD LOSER.
2067
01:29:36,138 --> 01:29:37,973
[laughing]
2068
01:29:38,006 --> 01:29:41,444
[laughing stops]
WHY, MR. ASTERBILT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
2069
01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:43,546
DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU,
DEARBORNE.
2070
01:29:43,579 --> 01:29:45,147
I'LL GIVE YOU THAT CHECK
RIGHT NOW.
2071
01:29:45,180 --> 01:29:47,950
(Dearborne)
OH, MR. ASTERBILT, THAT'S
VERY KIND OF YOU, INDEED.
2072
01:29:47,983 --> 01:29:51,420
WELL, I HAVE TO GO ALONG
WITH THESE SHATTER-PATED FELLAS.
2073
01:29:51,454 --> 01:29:52,655
SO I'LL JUST SIGN THIS,
2074
01:29:52,688 --> 01:29:55,691
AND YOU FILL IT IN NOW
FOR ANY AMOUNT YOU WANT.
2075
01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,092
COME ALONG.
2076
01:29:57,125 --> 01:30:00,095
BYE, DEARBORNE.
2077
01:30:00,128 --> 01:30:03,065
WHERE ARE THOSE MEN TAKING
MR. ASTERBILT?
2078
01:30:03,098 --> 01:30:06,535
[all laughing]
2079
01:30:06,569 --> 01:30:08,704
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH EVERYBODY?
2080
01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:10,439
MR. ASTERBILT
JUST GAVE ME A CHECK
2081
01:30:10,473 --> 01:30:12,007
FOR ANY AMOUNT I CARE TO NAME.
2082
01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:13,976
[laughing continues]
2083
01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:16,111
WELL, IF YOU'RE COLLECTING
HIS WORTHLESS CHECKS,
2084
01:30:16,144 --> 01:30:18,213
HERE'S ONE
FOR $20 MILLION.
2085
01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:20,983
OH.
OH, YES.
[laughing]
2086
01:30:21,016 --> 01:30:23,852
[laughing]
2087
01:30:23,886 --> 01:30:25,721
OH, YES, HE...
2088
01:30:25,754 --> 01:30:28,123
EASY COME, EASY...
2089
01:30:28,156 --> 01:30:29,892
GO.
2090
01:30:32,895 --> 01:30:33,862
[whimpering]
2091
01:30:33,896 --> 01:30:36,865
COME BACK, HENRY!
2092
01:30:36,899 --> 01:30:38,066
COME BACK!
2093
01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:39,668
[neighing]
2094
01:30:39,702 --> 01:30:41,937
HI-OH, SILVER!
2095
01:30:41,970 --> 01:30:43,205
AWAY!
2096
01:30:43,238 --> 01:30:45,207
(all)
HI-OH!
2097
01:30:45,240 --> 01:30:48,043
OH, COME BACK!
2098
01:30:48,076 --> 01:30:49,878
[all laughing]
2099
01:30:49,912 --> 01:30:49,978
COME BACK HERE, I SAY!
141911
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