Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:03,202
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,175
Announcer: ROBERT YOUNG...
3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,125
AND JANE WYATT.
4
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,994
(laughter)
5
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:20,552
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
6
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,040
(intercom buzzes)
7
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,475
YES?
8
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,243
Man: MR. JAMES ANDERSON,
9
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:36,701
YOU ARE A NO-GOOD RAT!
10
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,119
EXCUSE ME, IS THIS
McDERMOTT'S FISH MARKET?
11
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,854
WELL, FOR... VIRG CARLSON!
12
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,656
HI, CHOWDERHEAD! HA HA HA
13
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,026
HOW ARE YOU, VIRG?
YOU OLD SON OF A GUN!
14
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,461
HOW ARE YOU, YOU
DEPLORABLE WRETCH?
15
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,630
WHY, YOU UGLY, MISERABLE WEB!
16
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,898
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN SPRINGFIELD?
17
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,299
I'M GONNA LIVE HERE. WHAT?
18
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:57,467
I GOT TRANSFERRED.
19
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,702
WHAT HORRIBLE
NEWS FOR SPRINGFIELD.
20
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,104
(both laugh)
21
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:03,973
MY GOSH, JIM, I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU SINCE, UH...
22
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,942
WELL, SINCE THE DAY
THE ARMY DECIDED
23
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,310
THEY COULD GET ALONG WITHOUT US.
24
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,412
THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
25
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:09,779
SIT DOWN. BRING ME UP TO DATE.
26
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,314
YOUR LAST LETTER INDICATED
27
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,682
YOU WERE FINALLY GONNA
GET MARRIED. DID YOU?
28
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,251
YEP. FINALLY GOT TRAPPED.
29
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,619
WHAT'S SHE LIKE?
ANYONE I KNOW? NO.
30
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,756
WEARS SHOES? VERY
SELDOM, VERY SELDOM.
31
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,624
(laughs) HEY, I'M GOING
TO CALL MARGARET.
32
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,293
THIS'LL KNOCK HER
RIGHT OFF OF HER FEET.
33
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:24,727
HOW IS MARGARET? AW, GREAT.
34
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,263
GETS PRETTIER EVERY DAY.
35
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,997
TELL ME MORE ABOUT
YOUR BRIDE. IS SHE...
36
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,900
HELLO? HONEY, I HAVE
TERRIBLE NEWS FOR YOU.
37
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,802
GUESS WHO'S MOVING
TO SPRINGFIELD.
38
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,371
VIRG CARLSON.
39
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,838
(both laugh)
40
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,907
OH, HE'S JUST AS UGLY AS EVER.
41
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,443
YES, HE'S MARRIED.
42
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,279
WHAT? GOOD IDEA. IS
YOUR WIFE WITH YOU?
43
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,081
SHE'S AT THE HOTEL. WE
HAVEN'T FOUND A PLACE YET.
44
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,748
MARGARET WANTS YOU TO
HAVE DINNER WITH US TONIGHT.
45
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,184
WELL... THEY'LL COME.
46
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,818
OKAY, FINE, HONEY. GOOD-BYE.
47
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,088
7:00 ALL RIGHT? WELL, SURE, JIM.
48
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,022
BUT THAT'S PRETTY SHORT
NOTICE FOR MARGARET, ISN'T IT?
49
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,692
IT WAS HER IDEA. HERE,
YOU'D BETTER CALL YOUR WIFE.
50
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,361
HOW'S YOUR GOLF GAME? YOU STILL
ABLE TO HOBBLE AROUND A COURSE?
51
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,130
I CAN STAGGER
THROUGH A FEW HOLES.
52
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,221
ENOUGH TO BEAT YOU. HEH HEH.
53
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,303
JILL CARLSON, PLEASE. ROOM 412.
54
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,605
OH?
55
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,575
NO, I'LL SEE HER
LATER. THANK YOU.
56
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,909
HAS SHE LEFT YOU ALREADY?
57
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,611
NO, SHE'S GONE TO THE ZOO.
58
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,013
WELL, JIM BOY, I'VE GOT THINGS
TO DO, BUT I'LL SEE YOU AT 7:00.
59
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,682
607 SOUTH MAPLE, RIGHT?
60
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,585
THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
HA HA! SEE YOU, VIRG.
61
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:22,785
OKAY.
62
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,643
(chuckles)
63
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,413
TO THE ZOO?
64
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,098
FUNNY HOW OUR
PATHS KEEP CROSSING...
65
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,800
HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE,
OUR FIRST JOBS,
66
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,669
THE ARMY, AND NOW HERE.
67
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,904
I KEEP WONDERING
WHAT HIS WIFE IS LIKE.
68
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,373
DID HE SAY MUCH ABOUT HER?
69
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,542
NO, BUT KNOWING HOW
METICULOUS VIRG IS,
70
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,144
IT'S EASY TO IMAGINE HER.
71
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,711
ACTUALLY, ALL I KNOW
IS HER NAME IS JILL
72
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,313
AND SHE WENT TO THE
ZOO THIS AFTERNOON.
73
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,249
THE ZOO? (knock on door)
74
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,817
FATHER, YOUR FRIEND
AND HIS WIFE ARE HERE.
75
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,587
ALREADY? BY GEORGE, IT IS 7:00.
76
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:58,688
YOU READY, HONEY?
77
00:02:58,712 --> 00:02:59,956
I HOPE I LOOK ALL RIGHT.
78
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,691
ALL RIGHT? OHH. (chuckles)
79
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,861
IF YOU LOOKED ANY MORE
WONDERFUL, I'D... I'D MARRY YOU.
80
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:09,166
HA HA HA! WELL, YOU CAN
CERTAINLY TELL THAT'S JIM'S SON.
81
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,501
THOSE EYES, THAT NOSE.
82
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,370
THAT INTELLIGENT, HANDSOME LOOK?
83
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,971
MARGARET. VIRG.
84
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,874
MARGARET, YOU LOOK
WONDERFUL, JUST WONDERFUL.
85
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,043
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!
86
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:23,846
MARGARET, JIM... THIS IS JILL.
87
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,582
(turns on TV)
88
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,918
HIYA. I PROBABLY
BROKE YOUR TV SET.
89
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,322
EITHER THAT, OR THIS BALLET
DANCER ACTUALLY HAS TWO HEADS.
90
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,157
(chuckles)
91
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,259
I'LL FIX IT, JILL.
92
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,428
WE GET A LOT OF TWO-HEADED
PEOPLE ON OUR SET.
93
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,830
OH, JILL, I'M VERY
HAPPY TO KNOW YOU,
94
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,765
AND I THINK IT'S JUST WONDERFUL
95
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,402
THAT YOU AND VIRG ARE
GOING TO COME HERE TO LIVE.
96
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,337
WHY, JIM'S BEEN ACTING LIKE A...
97
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,206
LIKE A LITTLE BOY
WITH A NEW FOOTBALL.
98
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:52,209
SAME WITH THIS ONE. HE'S BEEN
PRACTICALLY NAUSEATING ABOUT IT.
99
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:55,712
(laughs) THERE OUGHT TO
BE A LAW AGAINST OLD GRADS.
100
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,647
WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE TO SEE, JILL?
101
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,449
OH, I DON'T CARE.
102
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,518
OF COURSE, I'M MAD ABOUT
THE FIGHTS AND WRESTLING,
103
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,853
BUT I COULDN'T FIND
ANY. TURN IT OFF.
104
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,655
VIRGIE BABY, GET ME AN ASHTRAY.
105
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,790
OH, THERE'S SOME OVER HERE.
106
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,427
COME ON, SIT DOWN, KNOTHEAD.
107
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,562
SAY, WE MET YOUR DAUGHTER BETTY,
108
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,565
AND WE WERE QUITE
IMPRESSED. VERY PRETTY.
109
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,000
YOU KNOW, I THINK VIRG
HAS A DAUGHTER COMPLEX.
110
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:21,204
THAT'S HOW HE TREATS ME MOST OF
THE TIME... AS IF I WERE HIS DAUGHTER!
111
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,872
WE'RE PRETTY PROUD OF BETTY.
112
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,141
I'M SORRY BUD ISN'T HERE,
BUT YOU'LL SEE HIM LATER.
113
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,377
OUR LITTLE ONE IS
PLAYING OUTSIDE.
114
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,212
GOOD HEAVENS! YOU HAVE THREE?
115
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:32,915
OH, I THINK THAT'S
WONDERFUL. JUST WONDERFUL!
116
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:36,085
HE WOULD. OF COURSE, HE'D
LIKE IT BETTER IF IT WERE SIX.
117
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,622
(laughs) WHO'S GOT A CIGARETTE?
118
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,911
OH.
119
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,861
THANK YOU, JIMMY.
120
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,018
I'LL LET YOU LIGHT
IT, VIRGIE BABY.
121
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:53,136
WELL, WHERE ARE THE
COLLEGE YEARBOOKS?
122
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,405
I THOUGHT BY NOW
WE'D BE DEEP IN...
123
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,174
"BY GEORGE, ISN'T
THAT OLD IGGY SYLBART?
124
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,410
"WHATEVER BECAME OF OLD IGGY?
125
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,446
"RUNNING A BANANA
BOAT? WELL, I'LL BE DARNED!
126
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,048
"WHO'D HE MARRY?
VERONICA ZUTCH?!
127
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:09,486
NO! I THOUGHT SHE'D SPEARED THAT JAVELIN
THROWER OVER AT THE DOUGLAS HOUSE!"
128
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,787
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU START?
129
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,722
OH, I'D MUCH RATHER
HEAR YOU TELL IT.
130
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,091
THIS IGGY SOUNDS LIKE A
PRETTY FASCINATING CHARACTER.
131
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,260
I'VE GOT NEWS
FOR YOU... HE'S NOT.
132
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,895
MARGE, WHAT SHALL WE DISCUSS
133
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,730
WHILE THEY'RE RECALLING
THEIR MISSPENT YOUTH?
134
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,499
YOU READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?
135
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,335
ACTUALLY, THE CHILDREN KEEP
ME SO BUSY, I NEVER HAVE TIME.
136
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,370
VIRGIE BABY, HAND ME MY GLASSES.
137
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,839
HE HAS TO CARRY THEM FOR
ME BECAUSE I ALWAYS LOSE THEM.
138
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,309
MY FIFTH PAIR. HEH.
139
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,367
SILAS MARNER?
140
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,183
WELL, I, UM... I THINK
ONE OF THE CHILDREN
141
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,584
IS READING THAT FOR SCHOOL.
142
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,986
IT'S... WELL, IT'S
REQUIRED READING.
143
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,323
NO WONDER THEY
DON'T LEARN ANYTHING.
144
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,458
OH, SAY, HAVE YOU READ KAFKA?
145
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,428
NO. HEH. I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO WROTE IT.
146
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,664
(laughs)
147
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,866
OH, YOU'RE PRICELESS!
148
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,668
FRANZ KAFKA.
149
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,170
HE'S ONE OF MY PETS.
WRITES BEAUTIFULLY.
150
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,973
YOU MUST READ THE TRIAL.
YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST.
151
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,510
I THINK IT COMPARES WITH
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE'S NAUSEA.
152
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,479
THAT'S A BOOK. THAT'S A BOOK.
153
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,949
HIS FIRST NOVEL. AND BETTER
THAN BAUDELAIRE, I THINK.
154
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,552
OF COURSE, YOU'VE
READ BAUDELAIRE.
155
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,521
(sighs) NO, I HAVEN'T.
YOU HAVEN'T?
156
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:22,158
HONEY, EVERYONE DOESN'T HAVE
THE TIME TO READ THAT YOU DO.
157
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,893
WELL, I DON'T, EITHER,
BUT I MAKE TIME.
158
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,729
JILL LOVES TO READ.
159
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,197
SHE READS THINGS THAT I
DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND.
160
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,667
YOU DON'T TRY. VIRG IS THE KIND
161
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,535
WHO READS A STORY
IN THE NEW YORKER
162
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,136
AND SAYS, "WHERE'S THE ENDING?"
163
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,739
(both laugh)
164
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,375
OH, POOR VIRGIE WANTS
EVERYTHING SPELLED OUT FOR HIM
165
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,511
IN NEON AND IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
166
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,979
Kathy: HEY, MOMMY!
167
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,947
BOY, YOU SHOULD'VE
SEEN THAT SCARY MOVIE
168
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,783
ME AND PATTY SAW ON TV.
169
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,619
THERE WAS THIS ONE MAN WHO
HAD A SPOOK FOR A GRANDMOTHER,
170
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,821
AND HE... OH.
171
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,759
(gasps) OH, SHE'S CUTE!
172
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,861
HELLO, HONEY.
173
00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:01,931
MEET YOUR SPOOKY
OLD AUNTIE JILL.
174
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,995
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, HONEY?
175
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:12,130
I'M ALSO VERY GOOD WITH DOGS.
176
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:18,281
REMINDS ME OF WHAT SOMEBODY
SAID ABOUT W.C. FIELDS ONCE.
177
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,183
"ANY MAN WHO HATES
DOGS AND CHILDREN
178
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,952
CAN'T BE ALL BAD."
179
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,954
DADDY?
180
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,890
DADDY, YOU'RE BEING PAGED.
181
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,626
I THINK SHE WANTS TO ASK
YOU IF I CAME HERE ON A BROOM.
182
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,528
DADDY!
183
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:34,431
I'LL GO, DEAR. I HAVE TO
SEE ABOUT DINNER ANYWAY.
184
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,433
OH, NEED ANY HELP? I
CAN'T EVEN BOIL WATER,
185
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,835
BUT I'M A DEMON AT CARRYING
PICKLES AND STUFFED OLIVES.
186
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,003
NO, EVERYTHING'S
DONE, THANK YOU.
187
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,239
WELL, HOW EFFICIENT CAN YOU BE?
188
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:47,143
VIRG, WHY DIDN'T YOU
MARRY SOMEBODY LIKE HER?
189
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,111
PROBABLY EVEN MAKES
HER OWN CLOTHES.
190
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,180
(chuckles)
191
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:54,984
WELL, UM... IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
192
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,487
ANYBODY CARE IF I
TAKE MY SHOES OFF?
193
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,422
OH, HONEY, LEAVE YOUR SHOES ON.
194
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,325
NO, THAT'S OKAY. THE KEYNOTE OF
THE ANDERSON HOUSEHOLD IS COMFORT.
195
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,627
COMPLETE COMFORT!
196
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,996
OHH, I HATE SHOES.
197
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,832
THEY GIVE ME CLAUSTROPHOBIA.
198
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:09,896
(chuckles)
199
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,802
IS SHE REALLY MY AUNT?
200
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,604
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
201
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,205
BOY, THAT'S A RELIEF.
202
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,875
I THOUGHT I WAS SEEING
THAT SCARY MOVIE AGAIN.
203
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,077
KATHY, THAT'S NOT
A NICE WAY TO TALK.
204
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,313
SHE'S THE WIFE OF A VERY
DEAR FRIEND OF YOUR FATHER'S,
205
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,617
AND SHE'S OUR GUEST, AND...
AND YOU MUST BE NICE TO HER.
206
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,219
WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS
HOW THOSE TWO GOT TOGETHER.
207
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,422
HE'S SO... SO BROOKS
BROTHERY, AND SHE'S SO AWFUL...
208
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,325
BETTY, I'M... I'M SURE
SHE'S VERY NICE.
209
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,760
BUT THAT OUTFIT.
210
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,596
LOOKS LIKE SHE GOT
IT AT A RUMMAGE SALE.
211
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,063
BETTY, I'M ASHAMED OF YOU.
212
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,921
DO YOU LIKE HER, MOMMY?
213
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,136
I'M SURE SHE'S...
SHE'S VERY NICE.
214
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,839
UH, TELL THEM DINNER'S ON.
215
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,396
YES, MOTHER.
216
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,078
YOU GONNA HIT HER, MOMMY?
217
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,769
OH, KATHY.
218
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:09,125
HONEY, DON'T BE MAD AT ME
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE JILL.
219
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,494
I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T LIKE HER.
220
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,095
YOU WERE UNCOMFORTABLE
EVERY SECOND.
221
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:16,265
WHO WOULDN'T BE?
I FELT LIKE A FOOL.
222
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,501
HONEY, THERE WAS NO REASON
FOR YOU TO FEEL LIKE THAT.
223
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,169
NO? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
224
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,405
IF SOMEONE WAS MAKING
FUN OF YOU ALL EVENING?
225
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,773
SHE WASN'T MAKING FUN OF YOU.
226
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,141
SHE HAS GREAT
ADMIRATION FOR YOU.
227
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,643
LOOK HOW SHE KEPT
COMPLIMENTING YOU.
228
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,979
OH, SURE. MY HOME
COOKING, MY HOME SEWING,
229
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,348
MY HOME... STUPIDITY.
230
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:35,885
SWEET, PRIM, DUMB
LITTLE PROVINCIAL WIFE.
231
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,454
OH, I CAN'T UNDO
THAT SILLY THING.
232
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,378
DON'T JUST STAND THERE. HELP ME.
233
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,093
HONEY, I'VE NEVER
SEEN YOU LIKE THIS.
234
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,296
AND PLEASE STOP SAYING THOSE
SILLY THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF.
235
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,232
NO ONE IN THE WORLD
CAN COMPARE WITH YOU.
236
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,601
NO ONE.
237
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:55,672
OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR. I
DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING
238
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:58,340
TO SPOIL YOUR
FRIENDSHIP WITH VIRG, BUT...
239
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:01,678
WELL, YOU MUST
ADMIT SHE IS DIFFERENT.
240
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:05,114
LET'S JUST DON'T PUSH THINGS.
241
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,784
LET ME TAKE HER IN SMALL DOSES.
242
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,575
SURE. YOU'RE THE
ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS.
243
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,579
WE PROBABLY WON'T SEE
THEM AGAIN FOR ANOTHER...
244
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,160
FOR ANOTHER WHAT?
245
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:23,121
OH. WELL... I'LL CANCEL THAT.
246
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,211
JIM, I HATE TO BOTHER YOU
SO EARLY IN THE MORNING,
247
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,679
BUT I'VE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM.
248
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,514
OH, ANYTHING SERIOUS, VIRG?
249
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,017
I GOT A WIRE FROM MOTHER.
SHE'S SELLING THE HOUSE
250
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,551
AND GOT IT ALL BALLED UP.
251
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,320
I HAVE TO FLY BACK THERE
AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT.
252
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,888
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
253
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,224
WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP? WHAT
ABOUT YOUR PLANE RESERVATION?
254
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,728
WELL, I'M ALL SET
ON THAT, BUT I, UH...
255
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,463
I'M NOT TAKING JILL WITH ME. OH?
256
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:59,102
SHE... WELL, SHE AND MOTHER
DON'T HIT IT OFF TOO WELL.
257
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,170
IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE
THINGS, YOU KNOW.
258
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,805
YEAH.
259
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,607
JILL'S REALLY A
VERY FINE PERSON.
260
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,375
OH, SHE IS, DEFINITELY.
261
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,244
I HATE TO LEAVE HER ALONE.
262
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:11,380
SHE GETS KIND OF FRIGHTENED
WHEN SHE'S BY HERSELF.
263
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,050
I WAS WONDERING IF...
264
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,285
IF IT'D BE TOO MUCH BOTHER
265
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,154
IF SHE STAYED AT YOUR PLACE...
266
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,488
JUST FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
267
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,290
IT'S NOT BOTHER AT ALL.
WE'D LOVE TO HAVE HER.
268
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,759
I KNOW THIS IS A
LOT TO ASK, JIM.
269
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,827
OH, FORGET IT. I WAS
GONNA BRING IT UP MYSELF.
270
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,730
WELL, IT TAKES A LITTLE WHILE
271
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,198
TO REALLY GET TO KNOW JILL...
272
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,301
LOOK, WE'LL TAKE GOOD
CARE OF HER. DON'T WORRY.
273
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,870
WHAT TIME'S YOUR PLANE?
274
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,838
I'D BETTER HURRY. I
STILL HAVE TO PACK.
275
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,041
JIM, I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH I APPRECIATE THIS.
276
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,341
YOU'RE THE ONE GUY...
277
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,177
CUT IT OUT. IT'S
OUR PLEASURE, VIRG.
278
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,545
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TRIP.
279
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,402
THANKS, JIM. (chuckles)
280
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,286
SO, YOU CAN SEE
HOW IT IS, MARGARET...
281
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,055
MY BEST FRIEND...
WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?
282
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,723
I COULDN'T VERY
WELL TURN HIM DOWN.
283
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,424
WELL, I... I THINK IT'S FINE.
284
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,160
AFTER ALL, SHE DOESN'T
KNOW A SOUL IN TOWN,
285
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,561
AND HE CAME RIGHT
OUT AND ASKED ME.
286
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,063
I SAID IT WAS FINE WITH ME.
287
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,231
IT'LL ONLY BE FOR A COUPLE
OF DAYS, MAYBE EVEN LESS.
288
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,767
JIM, I TOLD YOU I
WAS FOR IT, AND I...
289
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,070
WELL, I WOULD'VE
SUGGESTED IT MYSELF.
290
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,672
WELL... GOOD.
291
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:12,296
IT'LL GIVE US A CHANCE TO
GET TO KNOW HER BETTER.
292
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,252
WHERE'S OUR GUEST?
293
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,721
I THOUGHT SHE'D BE
EATING BREAKFAST.
294
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,445
SHE'S OUT THERE. AND
LOOK WHAT SHE'S DOING.
295
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,603
IS THERE NO END TO
THE LADY'S TALENTS?
296
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,005
IT'S PRETTY SILLY,
IF YOU ASK ME.
297
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,874
I WONDER WHAT THE
NEIGHBORS ARE THINKING.
298
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,743
WHAT THE NEIGHBORS
ARE THINKING ABOUT WHAT?
299
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,811
THAT. HMM?
300
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:52,470
IT SEEMS WE HAVE A LADY
DiMAGGIO IN OUR MIDST.
301
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,819
SHE HAS A GOOD PEG.
302
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,420
THROWS A PRETTY FAIR CURVE, TOO.
303
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,956
SHE CERTAINLY THREW US ONE.
304
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,759
BETTY, I TOLD YOU NOT
TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.
305
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,727
SHE'S OUR GUEST. I KNOW, MOTHER.
306
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,562
BUT MY GOSH, SHE'S
MAKING A WRECK OF YOU.
307
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,297
WAITING ON HER,
PICKING UP AFTER HER.
308
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,266
SHE'S GOT YOU ALL TIED
UP IN LITTLE BITTY KNOTS.
309
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,301
YOU DON'T SEEM
LIKE YOURSELF AT ALL.
310
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,603
I FEEL PERFECTLY FINE.
311
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,372
HURRY UP OR YOU'LL
BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.
312
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,673
ALL RIGHT, MOTHER,
BUT ISN'T IT...
313
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,730
BETTY, IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL.
314
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,212
(sighs) YES, FATHER.
315
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,915
SOMEBODY BETTER GO
OUT AND TELL BUD, TOO.
316
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,117
YEAH.
317
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,808
OKAY.
318
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,291
OKAY, BUSTER, LET'S
SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT!
319
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,558
SORRY TO BREAK UP THIS BATTERY,
320
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,749
BUT YOUR PARTNER
HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL.
321
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,519
Bud: HEY, WATCH OUT, JILL!
322
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,067
JILL, ARE YOU HURT?
323
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,669
WELL, IT DIDN'T DO ME ANY GOOD.
324
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,070
LET ME SEE.
325
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,039
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
GONNA LOOK AWAY JUST THEN.
326
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,975
OH, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE A NICE LITTLE GOOSE EGG.
327
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,777
BUD, GET ME SOME
ICE IN A COLD CLOTH.
328
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,246
OH, DON'T BOTHER.
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
329
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,015
JUST A LITTLE DIZZY.
330
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,917
BUT ON ME, IT LOOKS NATURAL.
331
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:05,087
(laughs) WELL, I'M OFF
TO A GREAT START TODAY.
332
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,789
ONLY BREAKFAST TIME,
333
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,624
AND LOOK AT ALL THE
TROUBLE I'VE CAUSED ALREADY.
334
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,382
OH, IT'S NO TROUBLE.
335
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,997
ARE YOU HURT BADLY, JILL?
336
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,365
SEE? RIGHT HERE.
337
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,802
WHERE DOES SHE WANT
THIS? ON THE HEAD?
338
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,071
IT'S BEGINNING TO SWELL.
HERE, LET ME HAVE THAT.
339
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,307
I'LL DO IT. YOU'LL BE
LATE FOR THE OFFICE.
340
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,842
WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST.
341
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,543
YOU CAN GET SOMETHING IN TOWN.
342
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,087
I'LL BE MUCH TOO BUSY
TO FIX YOU ANYTHING.
343
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,181
WELL, OKAY.
344
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,883
SEE YOU TONIGHT, HONEY.
345
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,417
OH, I HOPE YOU
FEEL BETTER, JILL.
346
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,753
I'M SURE SHE'LL
RECOVER QUITE SPEEDILY.
347
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,244
GOOD-BYE, DEAR.
348
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,433
MOMMY!
349
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:54,070
HI, KATH. OH, HELLO.
350
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,838
YOU STILL HERE?
351
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,341
YEAH, I'M GETTING KIND
OF UNBEARABLE, HUH?
352
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,842
WON'T BE MUCH LONGER, THOUGH.
353
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,311
VIRG WILL BE BACK
TOMORROW... I HOPE.
354
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,946
WANT TO SEE WHAT I GOT?
355
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,749
SURE, WHAT YOU GOT, KATH?
356
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:10,208
COME ON DOWN HERE.
BUT BE AWFUL CAREFUL.
357
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,724
AAAAAH!
358
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,027
(laughs) IT'S JUST
A LITTLE FROG.
359
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,628
NOW WHAT'S THE MATTER?
360
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,086
WE'RE JUST PLAYING
WITH MY NEW LITTLE FROG.
361
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,903
KATHY, LOOK AT THE
FLOOR. AND LOOK AT YOU.
362
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,637
YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND SCRUB UP GOOD
363
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,172
AND WASH YOUR HAIR.
364
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,741
I CAN'T DO THAT ALONE.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
365
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,977
I WILL IN A MINUTE. I HAVE
TO CLEAN THIS UP FIRST.
366
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,446
OHH! OH LET ME DO
IT. I'LL CLEAN IT UP.
367
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,348
NO, NO, I'LL DO IT.
368
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,517
THANK YOU.
369
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,053
WILL YOU BRING THE FROG
UP SO I CAN PUT HIM IN THE TUB?
370
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,276
NO!
371
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,527
OH, HI, JILL. OR...
MRS. CARLSON.
372
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,996
HOW'S YOUR HEAD? OH, IT'S FINE.
373
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,198
ANOTHER HOLE IN THIS HEAD
WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
374
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,934
(laughs) YEAH. YOU
FEEL WELL ENOUGH
375
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,501
TO GO OUT AND CATCH A FEW?
376
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:03,139
WELL, I... YOU HAVE
HOMEWORK TO DO, BUD.
377
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,107
YOU'D BETTER GET IT DONE NOW...
378
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,976
BECAUSE THIS IS
YOUR HIGH WIRE NIGHT.
379
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,146
OH, YEAH. I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT THAT.
380
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,014
HEY, MAYBE YOU
COULD HELP ME WITH IT.
381
00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,383
IT'S ENGLISH GRAMMAR. YOU'RE
PRETTY GOOD AT STUFF LIKE THAT.
382
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,252
SURE. THAT THERE GRAMMAR JUNK
383
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,520
ARE ONE THING AT WHICH I
ARE REAL GOOD AT WHICH.
384
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,689
(laughs) I'LL SHOW YOU
WHAT WE GOTTA DO.
385
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,326
BUD, DON'T BOTHER MRS. CARLSON.
386
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,626
SHE'S NOT FEELING WELL.
387
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,429
SHE DOESN'T MIND. DO YOU?
388
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,497
SEE THESE SENTENCES? WE
GOTTA PICK OUT THE SUBJUNCTIVE
389
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,966
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
390
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,668
"JIMMY WISHED THE WOMAN
WOULD LEAVE THE DOG WITH HIM."
391
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,126
IS THAT INDICATIVE
OR SUBJUNCTIVE?
392
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,940
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
393
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,608
"WISHED THE WOMAN WOULD LEAVE."
394
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,610
IS THAT INDICATIVE?
395
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,746
VERY. HUH?
396
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,616
I SUPPOSE SHE JUST SAT THERE AND
WATCHED YOU CLEAN UP THE MESS.
397
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,385
(telephone rings)
398
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,120
WELL, VIRG WILL BE
HERE TOMORROW,
399
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,055
AND EVERYTHING WILL
BE BACK TO NORMAL.
400
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,891
HELLO? YES. YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
401
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,494
THIS IS LONG DISTANCE.
MAYBE IT'S VIRG.
402
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,896
HELLO? HELLO, VIRG.
403
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,233
NO, THIS IS MARGARET.
OH, SHE'S FINE.
404
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,668
YES, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
405
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,237
WILL YOU BE BACK TOMORROW?
406
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,301
WE'RE ALL TERRIBLY
ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU.
407
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,676
OH.
408
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,913
OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY
TO HEAR THAT, VIRG.
409
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,449
OH, NO. NO, IT'S NO IMPOSITION.
410
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,951
CERTAINLY NOT.
411
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,055
YES, JUST A
MINUTE. I'LL CALL HER
412
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,126
HE WON'T BE BACK FOR
TWO OR THREE DAYS.
413
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,327
(laughter)
414
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,694
OH, YES. AND ON THIS SENTENCE,
415
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,696
HE SAID THE PHRASE
"DIVIDED HIGHWAY"
416
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,332
WAS A SPLIT INFINITIVE.
417
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,800
(laughs) I OUGHT TO
SPLIT AN INFINITIVE
418
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,436
RIGHT OVER YOUR SILLY HEAD.
419
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,637
OH, HI, HONEY.
420
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,305
JILL, VIRG WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU
421
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,907
ON THE TELEPHONE.
422
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,230
OH, REALLY?
423
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:55,005
VIRGIE? OH, IT'S SO GOOD
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.
424
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,354
MOTHER, I'VE BEEN THINKING...
425
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,922
SET THE TABLE
FOR DINNER, PLEASE.
426
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:02,224
YES, BUT, MOTHER, I'M
NOT GOING TO STAND BY
427
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,560
AND WATCH YOU BECOME A
REPRESSED NEUROTIC JUST BECAUSE...
428
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,994
WHO'S NEUROTIC?
429
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,963
I AM. I'M PART NEUROTIC
AND PART NORWEGIAN.
430
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,298
WHAT ARE YOU?
431
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,666
FATHER, NOW, YOU LISTEN.
432
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,701
THE TIME HAS COME TO TAKE STEPS.
433
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,636
ARE YOU LISTENING? MM-HMM.
434
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,205
IN MY PSYCHOLOGY BOOK,
435
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,740
IT SAYS WHEN TWO PERSONS
WITH CONFLICTING PERSONALITIES
436
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,543
ARE THROWN TOGETHER
FOR A PROLONGED PERIOD...
437
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,411
THANK YOU FOR YOUR
ADVICE, MR. ANTHONY.
438
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,846
I'LL TAKE THE CHILDREN AND
RETURN TO MY FORMER HUSBAND.
439
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,982
FATHER, I'M NOT A
CHILD, SO PLEASE...
440
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:30,186
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE A YOUNG
LADY, AND A VERY ATTRACTIVE ONE.
441
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:33,144
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE ALSO
VERY GOOD AT SETTING TABLES.
442
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,830
NOW, MADAM, YOUR PROBLEM.
443
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,100
YOU SAY YOUR HUSBAND BEATS
YOU WITH SECONDHAND ZITHER,
444
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:47,404
AND HE DOESN'T EVEN BELONG
TO THE MUSICIANS' UNION.
445
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,040
OH, HONEY, WHY
DON'T YOU BLOW UP?
446
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,343
THROW THINGS, FILL
OVER. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
447
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,878
(crying) OH, JIM, I
KNOW I'M BEING SILLY,
448
00:18:56,902 --> 00:19:00,316
BUT I... I JUST CAN'T HELP IT.
449
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:04,386
I FEEL ALL TIED UP IN KNOTS.
450
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,722
THIS HAS GOTTEN UNDER MY SKIN.
451
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,057
I FEEL LIKE... LIKE...
452
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,160
A REPRESSED NEUROTIC?
453
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:14,263
ONE WHO'S BEEN BEATEN
WITH A SECONDHAND ZITHER.
454
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,697
(chuckles)
455
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,833
I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF.
456
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,201
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
457
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:22,404
I DO. WHEN VIRG GETS
HOME TOMORROW...
458
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,841
HE WON'T BE HERE, NOT
FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS YET.
459
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,943
THAT'S WHY HE CALLED.
460
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,945
OH?
461
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,348
WELL, THAT SETTLES IT. JILL
GOES BACK TO THE HOTEL.
462
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,450
JIM, WE CAN'T DO THAT.
463
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:38,787
SHE'S OUR GUEST. AND WHAT
ABOUT VIRG? HOW WILL HE FEEL?
464
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:42,213
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
THAT MATTERS TO ME... YOU.
465
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:47,163
WELL, HURRY HOME, SWEETIE.
466
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,199
HURRY, HURRY, HURRY.
467
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,834
I NEED YOU.
468
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,936
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
469
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,338
(kiss)
470
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,928
BYE.
471
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,132
MOMMY!
472
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,048
WHAT'S THE MATTER, FROGGY?
473
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,184
YOU GOT PROBLEMS, TOO?
474
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,353
I CAN'T GET ANYBODY
TO "CHAMPOO" ME.
475
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:14,657
WELL, HOW ABOUT ME? I'M
A CHAMPEEN CHAMPOOER.
476
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,692
YOU? OH, DON'T LOOK SO DOUBTFUL.
477
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,227
I'M NOT A COMPLETE BUST.
478
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,462
HEY! DON'T GET ANY IN MY EYES!
479
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,432
OH, STOP WORRYING,
FROGGY. I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
480
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,435
ON YOUR OWN LITTLE GIRLS?
481
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,405
NO. I DON'T HAVE
ANY LITTLE GIRLS.
482
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,007
NOT ANY? NOPE.
483
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,910
DON'T YOU GET AWFUL LONESOME?
484
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:39,114
KATH... THAT'S THE
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE WEEK.
485
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,350
HEY, PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN
HERE AND WE'LL RINSE IT.
486
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,952
HAVE YOU GOT A MOMMY?
487
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:46,222
NOT ANYMORE. COME ON.
488
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,656
ANY FRIENDS?
489
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,359
STOP ASKING SO MANY
QUESTIONS, FROGGY,
490
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,860
AND DIP THE NOGGIN.
491
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,851
I GOT LOTS OF FRIENDS.
492
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,701
WELL, DON'T LOSE THEM, HONEY.
493
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:02,793
SOME OF US JUST DON'T SEEM TO
HAVE A TALENT FOR MAKING FRIENDS.
494
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,331
AND BOTCH EVERY
OPPORTUNITY THAT COMES ALONG.
495
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,642
DON'T YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS?
496
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,123
I SURE DO.
497
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,692
A WONDERFUL ONE.
498
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,461
AND I'M MARRIED TO HIM.
499
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:28,664
GEE, YOU OUGHT TO
HAVE MORE THAN ONE.
500
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,332
YOU KNOW WHAT?
501
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:32,923
I'M GOING TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
502
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,294
(sobbing)
503
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,145
HI, MOMMY.
504
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,147
OH!
505
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,715
MY HAIR'S ALL WASHED, MOMMY.
506
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,884
SHE HELPED ME.
507
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,086
SHE DID?
508
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,555
KATHY, WHY WAS SHE CRYING?
509
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,457
I DON'T KNOW.
510
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,626
I GUESS I'M UNPOPULAR.
511
00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,696
I TOLD HER I WAS
GONNA BE HER FRIEND,
512
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,286
AND IT MADE HER CRY.
513
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,067
OH.
514
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:08,404
AND SHE NEEDS SOME FRIENDS, TOO.
515
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:12,408
SHE ONLY HAS ONE, AND
SHE'S MARRIED TO HIM.
516
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:16,512
MAYBE SHE DOESN'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS.
517
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:18,814
MAYBE.
518
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,406
AND MAYBE SOME OTHERS
DON'T GIVE HER THE CHANCE.
519
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:41,659
JILL, MAY I COME IN?
520
00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:48,310
I, UH, HEAR VIRG IS HAVING
A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULTY
521
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:49,845
THAN HE FIGURED.
522
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,781
OH, BUT DON'T WORRY. I'M
GOING BACK TO THE HOTEL.
523
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,950
OH, I DIDN'T MEAN
THAT... BUT I DO.
524
00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:57,653
I... I KNOW I'VE MADE
A MESS OF THINGS.
525
00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:00,622
IT ALWAYS HAPPENS WHEN
VIRG LEAVES ME ALONE.
526
00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:03,058
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DO WRONG.
527
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:05,894
I TRY TO GET ALONG WITH
PEOPLE, WITH WOMEN,
528
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,397
BUT EVEN VIRG'S MOTHER HATES ME,
529
00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:09,931
AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
530
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,567
SHE'S JUST MAKING
UP HALF THIS TROUBLE
531
00:23:11,591 --> 00:23:13,290
TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME.
532
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:16,672
WELL, JILL, LOOK...
NO, JIM, PLEASE.
533
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:19,040
I CAN'T JUST SIT AROUND
AND TWIDDLE MY THUMBS.
534
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:22,378
IF I COULD BE OF SOME HELP,
SCRUB A FLOOR, DO ANYTHING.
535
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:25,836
BUT MARGARET DOESN'T WANT
ME AROUND, AND I DON'T BLAME HER.
536
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:30,285
POOR VIRG.
537
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:33,321
HE HOPED THAT SHE AND I
WOULD BE SUCH GREAT FRIENDS.
538
00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:34,812
Margaret: JILL?
539
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,727
THANK YOU FOR SHAMPOOING KATHY.
540
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,962
HONEY, JILL'S MOVING
BACK TO THE HOTEL.
541
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:43,146
AND LEAVE ME TO GET DINNER?
542
00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:48,404
JILL, NOW, I WANT A
STRAIGHT ANSWER FROM YOU.
543
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,061
HOW ARE YOU AT MASHING POTATOES?
544
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:56,111
WELL, I... I'M PRETTY GOOD.
545
00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:59,014
ALL RIGHT, THEN. DON'T
JUST STAND THERE.
546
00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:02,017
YOU AND I HAVE GOT
THREE HUNGRY KIDS TO FEED.
547
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,241
NOT TO MENTION THIS ONE.
548
00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:12,127
YES, SIR.
549
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:14,195
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER...
550
00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:16,353
OF A SECONDHAND ZITHER.
551
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,370
WELL, WAS THAT
WHEN YOU MET VIRG?
552
00:24:22,394 --> 00:24:24,840
NO, IT WAS KIND OF
SILLY THE WAY I MET HIM.
553
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:27,409
IT WAS IN A MEXICAN
FIESTA IN EL PASO.
554
00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:29,277
I FELL OFF A TAMALE WAGON
555
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,946
INTO THE ARMS OF
THIS GOOD-LOOKING MAN
556
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,815
WHO HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY.
557
00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,215
THAT WAS VIRG.
558
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:37,185
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
ON A TAMALE WAGON?
559
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,187
TRYING TO GET A BETTER
LOOK AT THE GOOD-LOOKING MAN
560
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,222
WHO WAS WALKING BY.
561
00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:44,159
MARGARET! I NEED A BUTTON
SEWED ON THIS SHIRT FOR TOMORR...
562
00:24:44,183 --> 00:24:45,961
OH, I THOUGHT MARGARET WAS HERE.
563
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,930
SHE'S IN THE LIVING
ROOM. DIDN'T YOU SEE HER?
564
00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:49,197
UH-UH.
565
00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:51,633
BUT YOU'D BETTER
LEAVE THAT SHIRT WITH ME.
566
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,769
I'D LIKE TO PRACTICE
UP AND SURPRISE VIRG
567
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,437
WHEN HE COMES BACK TOMORROW.
568
00:24:55,461 --> 00:24:58,173
BESIDES, YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY
WORK OUT OF THAT WIFE OF YOURS.
569
00:24:58,197 --> 00:24:59,463
HMM?
570
00:25:20,486 --> 00:25:22,452
(theme music playing)
41356
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
