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♪ It gets harder to carry

Oh, not today, asshole.

...your neck areas and all that kind of stuff...

You're killing me, Karen.

Goddamn.

No, don't do it agai--

He's just gonna cheat on you again.

Ugh.

You never listen.

She never listens.

Please. Come on.

Jordan Tyler is a hack.

The guy doesn't even write his own music.

♪

Today's the day.

I can feel it.

I can do this.

Today's the day.

I can feel it.

I can do this. It's gonna be today.

Oh, yes.

I can do this, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I can do this.

I can do this. I'm gonna leave,

I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna leave,

-I'm gonna--

Hello?

Hello? Mr. Williams?

I have some deliveries for you!

You're supposed to leave them at the door.

Oh.

Sorry! I'm new.

Left specific instructions...

I left specific instructions.

-You just leave...

...the groceries by the door.

Your fearless leader, Becky.

-Now, for my serious face.

It's been five years since the genius

that is Tucker Stills was taken from us.

Five years.

Now, this groundbreaking musician

deserves a second chance, right?

Right. So a group of us most dedicated fans--

you know who you are-- have made it our mission

to find him and return him to his music,

for us, for him, for the world, okay?

So if you've seen anything, if you know anything,

if you know anyone who's seen anything or knows anything,

DM me. And in the meantime,

don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe.

Calm down, Benji.

How the fuck are you gonna tell me to calm down?

They're looking for me out there.

I can tell you no one will find you.

You're safe. Just take a deep breath.

You think I'm paranoid.

I think you had a very traumatic experience

a few years ago, and you're still dealing

-with the fallout from that. -Traumatic's an understatement.

I lost my mind.

Well, that's a little extreme.

The breakdown in the Chinese restaurant?

-Right. -Attacking that photographer?

-Yes-- -Freezing on stage?

Okay, I get it. Not your finest moments,

but you shouldn't dwell on any of that.

Easy for you to say.

You're a very sensitive, anxious,

and private person, Benji.

Fame was not made for you.

You need to forgive yourself for everything

-that happened that year. -I have.

But you still haven't left the house.

Hey, I can forgive myself

and still wanna stay safe in my own home.

It's not healthy, Benji.

Who are you to tell me what's healthy?

A doctor. Your doctor?

I mean, the real world sucks.

Why would I wanna leave my personal bubble anyway?

To live. To grow, to socialize.

You realize I hear sirens outside my window every night?

-You live next to a hospital. -It's dangerous out there.

Go answer the door, Benji.

Wasn't the door. Something just fell.

Confront the door, Benji.

Oh, God.

You know I can hear you on the other side of the door, right?

Oh-kay. Well, uh, I'm your new neighbor, Sylvia.

That's my name. Which was obvious.

I didn't need to say that.

Anyway, I'm bringing you a welcome basket,

um, which, technically, you should be bringing to me.

But I'm kind of weird!

But not in a bad way.

Not in a good way either.

People don't generally like me. I'm a lot.

Okay, I'm gonna stop talking now.

Oh, okay. Uh, enjoy the basket!

♪

Aw. Well, that was sweet of her.

-Jesus!

How the hell did you get in here?

Well, technically, I'm not really here.

I'm more in here.

What the fuck does that mean?

Short version? Psychotic break.

I'm not buying that. Try again.

Fine. You wanna go there?

I'll tell you a little bit about yourself.

Hmm. Where to start?

Please don't touch that.

Your dad was an abusive drunk,

but your mom tried to shield you from him,

which makes you feel so guilty.

You even wrote your first song for your mom

after your dad beat her bloody.

Stop.

You wet the bed until you were 14

because of your massive anxiety issues.

I said you can stop now.

Your first kiss resulted in you throwing up on her after

because you were so nervous.

I said you can fucking stop now.

Your middle name is Connor.

Your first pet was a dog named Wiggles.

And your greatest fear is...

well, everything.

Did I leave anything out?

Oh, no. No. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

How?

Magic.

I've really lost it now, haven't I?

You've never had it, dude.

Are you supposed to be me?

-Do I fucking look like you? -No, like, are you supposed to

be some sort of manifestation of me or something, somehow?

Wow. This is why you failed Psych 101.

Hey, you can't smoke that in here, dude.

I'm in your head.

Fuck. This can't be real.

Define real.

-Jesus! What the fuck, dude? -You don't have any ashtrays.

That's my mom, asshole.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, Debbie. How's it hangin'?

-Get out. -You first.

No. Fuck this.

I'm just hallucinating. Too much Red Bull.

No such thing.

I just need some sleep.

You'll be gone in the morning.

See you tomorrow.

-No.

Morning, Mom.

Sorry about last night.

Wow, you are a mess.

-What the fuck, dude? -Is this all true?

Can you-- can you even be going to the bathroom?

Anything you can do, I can do better.

Ugh. You know what, I did not need to hear that.

Wait-- wait a minute.

-Where'd you get that? -Your closet.

I-- Just-- How can you even be holding that?

Yeah, I don't get the question.

You're not even real.

Oh, I'm very fucking real.

You know what? Fine. Just--

Can you let me finish my shower in peace?

I'm not done yet.

How is-- how is that even possible?

Well, you see, when you eat food,

-the digestive system starts-- -Oh, fine.

You know what, just shut up, okay?

Just shut up. All right?

Just let me finish my shower in peace, please?

Wow. So they actually had to drag you off stage

at that awards show?

-Oh, my God.

-Don't sweat.

You think it's hot enough out for me to ditch the shirt?

-Could I stop you? -I mean, you could try.

Well, you do love to show off, so...

Hey, I put in the work.

I might as well get some validation from it.

I already give you too much validation.

-There's no such thing. -Uh-huh.

-Once around the park? -Yeah. Loser buys dinner!

Hey!

-Come back here!

That's not super creepy stalker-y or anything.

Fuck.

Good to see you too, buddy.

Can't get rid of you, can I?

I'm like a bad kisser, or herpes.

Okay.

There's one thing that's been bothering me.

-One thing? -Fuck you.

How did you know about the song that I wrote for my mother?

Do we have to go over this again?

I know what you know.

Yeah, but I didn't even remember it

until you mentioned it.

That's because I have access to parts of your brain

that even you don't know about.

-That's scary. -You're tellin' me.

Your subconscious is starting to look like a...

-never-ending warehouse. -Fuck you.

It's gonna get old quick.

What do I have to do to get rid of you?

I leave when you leave.

What the fuck does that mean?

It's not a fucking coded message.

I'm here because you're a lonely bastard.

Leave the house, get a life, and then I'm gone.

That is not going to happen.

There has to be another way.

Hey, this is your show. I'm just along for the ride.

You're right.

I'm in charge.

If I just ignore him, he'll go away.

Don't talk about me like I'm not here.

♪ Whoa, whoa, yeah

♪ Whoa, whoa, yeah

I know you know this one, buddy.

Jump in at any time.

♪ From Chicago To Atlanta

♪ San Francisco Bay

♪ We don't care, yeah

Okay, this one's pretty simple. Go to the right.

Get to the right. Right, right, right, right, right.

Get on the-- The guy on the right, get the guy--

No, right. That's the le-- No, no, no.

That's the left, go to the right. Get to the right.

Is this your first day playing?

You look like you have a lot of stars,

so play this game right--

Don't be a baby. You're not-- you're not done.

This is fucking dumb.

Okay.

Your controller's dead.

That's why you suck.

Leave.

Don't smile at me. Leave. You saw her work out.

You getting your summer bod ready?

Looking fit, looking hot to leave the house?

Deb want you to leave.

Don't get mad at me. You're doing sit-ups.

♪

-Good morning, sunshine.

You realize this doesn't count as human interaction, right?

So, how did you get those chopsticks

to stick into that dude's leg?

It's an honest question.

Come on. I can do this.

Here we go.

Okay. If I leave, he leaves.

Are you talking to yourself again?

Yes!

Did you miss me?

-Oh, no. -No? Okay.

-Aww.

You should.

Rude.

Just because there's no room in there for me

doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying.

Hey, someone's here.

I don't care.

But what if it's your neighbor?

Mmm. Grumpy.

Hey, can I borrow that screwdriver I gave you?

I made the mistake of buying IKEA furniture,

and now I'm playing this big ol' game of Tetris.

Hey! Ah-- Oh, sorry. I'll back up.

There you are!

You know, I was starting to think this place was haunted,

and I don't do well with creepy neighbors.

Thanks.

-Benji. -Benji!

Nice to meet you, Benji.

You too.

♪

You need to say more than

three words to her next time.

What makes you think there will be a next time?

Oh, she'll be back.

There are six things left in the basket.

♪

♪

You need to get rid of her.

Look at all of the dust that she's spreading.

She's an ash whore.

Yeah, please don't refer to my dead mother as a whore.

Fuckin' shit.

Ooh, that looks expensive.

Please don't touch that.

I said don't touch that.

When was the last time you played?

-No, no, no. Wait. -Stop. Stop, stop.

-No, no, whoa, no. -Put it down.

I will not put this down.

Oh, God.

That's not right.

If you're supposed to be me, why do you suck so much?

That's rude.

I've always wanted to be a rock star.

Have you ever smashed one of these on stage?

Stop. Dude, what the fuck's the matter with you?

It's good to see a guitar in your hands again.

How does it feel?

You know, you're a manipulative little asshole, you know that?

I said, "How does it feel?"

Good.

I will make you a deal.

I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day

if you play me a little bit.

It doesn't even have to be one of your songs.

♪

I'm trying my hardest, okay?

It's not an easy situation. It'll happen when it happens.

You're supposed to be my friend.

What am I gonna do about her, Mom?

It's been two weeks since you've seen Sylvia.

When are you gonna come up with a plan?

Over. Let it go.

It never even started.

You know, can you not be a dick tonight?

I feel bad enough without you psychoanalyzing me.

Then do something about it.

She has a boyfriend.

Doesn't mean you can't take your shot.

I mean, even if I did do something,

I can't even leave the house.

What kind of life would that be for her?

Maybe she's worth leaving the apartment for.

Please.

If I didn't leave the apartment to get rid of you,

nothing's gonna blast me out of this place.

Wow. You are such a fucking coward.

Just leave me the fuck alone!

Sure, right after you grow up

and realize that your fear does not come from out there.

It comes from in here.

You know nothing about my fear.

Seriously? I literally live in your head.

Feel free to leave at any time.

Why? Because I'm making you face your shitty life?

Hey, I didn't have a shitty life, okay?

My life was fine before you showed up.

Really? Is that why you cry yourself to sleep every night?

-Shut the fuck up. -You don't have a life.

You have a coping mechanism.

-Shut up. -You just can't admit

-to yourself that you're... -Shut up!

-...a fucking coward. -Shut up! Shut up!

Hey, it's Sylvia. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay, great. Can you open your door so I can make sure

someone's not holding a gun to your head

and making you say that?

Benji, I have dialed nine and one.

You cough if you want me to hit that last one.

Okay.

All right. no visible cuts or bruises, that's good.

Um. I'm sorry, I was just having a bit of an argument.

With...

Oh, uh, my-- my dad.

Ooh, yeah. Parents are the worst, right?

My mom is always texting me pictures

of her friends' grandkids, and I'm like,

"I get it, Mom, back off."

Right.

You don't talk much, do you?

N-- No, I-- I don't.

It shows.

I'm-- I-- I don't--

I don't really leave the house much.

I think-- I'm sorry, that's not something you need to know.

No, no, that's okay. That sounds really rough.

Is there a reason?

It's a tough world out there.

Yeah. I get that.

So, where's my welcome basket?

Oh. Yeah, right. Um, sorry. Let me go get that.

No, no, I meant, um,

why haven't you made me one yet?

Oh, right. Um, yeah.

Uh, I-- I can do that.

Uh, it's just, um,

I-- I--

What should I put in it?

Surprise me.

I don't really like surprises.

Well, lucky for you, I do.

Well, it was good to see you again, Benji.

Yeah, it was good to see you too.

-It wasn't that bad.

You'll do better next time.

What the fuck, dude?

It worked, didn't it?

♪

Any ideas?

What the fuck am I gonna put in this thing?

Hey, dude?

Where'd you go?

Ah, fu--

Look, buddy, I need your help, okay?

Fine. I need you, man. Lo--

You're the best ghost or imaginary friend

or whatever I've-- I've ever had.

Can you please help me?

I need you, man.

Can't leave me now.

Fuck. It took you long enough. Shit.

What the fuck, dude? Where have you been?

Oh, you miss me?

You didn't hear any of that, did you?

How could I? I was chillin' in the fridge.

Thanks, man.

-Any time.

Okay. Basket time.

Basket time.

Gonna get a Red Bull first.

-She deserves a big one. -Good shit.

-Get the gummies. -You know what else?

Gummy bears.

You have good ideas, don't you?

-Nope. -Here you go.

Obviously no.

Good call. It's cute.

A fork!

-The crème de la crme. -Ah!

♪ You're down on your knees

♪ In over your head

Good.

You know what the last thing you need to add is, right?

-What? -Music.

Music is your way of communicating.

You need to make her a mix.

Of what?

Your favorite songs, dumbass.

And there needs to be a Tucker Still song on it.

No, I-- I can't.

It's the best way for her to get to know you.

-But then she'll know. -She knows you as Benji.

That's not a far leap.

For you.

But for her, she'll never even have a clue.

I mean...

-Fine. -Great.

♪ And heaven only knows

♪ How far it's really gone

♪ You're down on your knees

♪ And heaven only knows

♪ It's a car crash every day

Okay.

It's been an hour.

You need to do this.

I don't do too well leaving the apartment.

It's across the fucking hallway.

And we watched her leave a half an hour ago,

so she's not even home.

So you don't need to try to string any words together.

Okay.

Okay. It's across the hall.

-It's across the hall. -It's across the hall.

Please hurry up.

Why the fuck did you just hold your breath?

I don't know.

I-- I don't know.

Dude, you got issues.

Okay, now that you're a little less hostile towards me,

I was wondering if we were gonna talk about this.

Nope.

Okay.

Nice!

Um, so, what do you do for-- for like, a living?

Um, I'm a bartender.

What about you?

Oh, um, uh, it's kind of complicating.

Um, I mean--

I mean, I'm kind of a writer.

Oh. Uh, nice.

Like, books?

No. Um, more like websites and stuff.

Nice. Anything I would have seen?

No.

It's all pretty generic stuff.

Oh, so close.

-Favorite color?

Uh, blue.

Iceland.

Drunken pickle ball.

A penguin in a suit.

-Naked jumping jacks.

Lighting a candle underwater.

Um, who's that guy that's...

who's always over at your apartment?

You mean my brother Daniel?

Ohh. He's your brother.

Yeah, he is.

He's had a really rough go of it, actually. He, um...

Well, my parents kicked him out of the house

when he came out when he was 15,

and I said, "If Daniel goes, I go."

And my parents never really liked me that much.

You know, I was always annoying them,

so, no argument there.

So we left.

Um, that sucks. I'm-- I'm sorry.

It did, for a while.

But it was kind of nice having our freedom, you know?

And Daniel's always stood by me.

He's the only one that can tolerate my extra-ness.

Biggest accomplishment?

-Platinum record! -Oh, um, being able to survive

in the house for so long without, um, going crazy.

♪

-Not quite.

Do you have any friends?

Uh...

No, not-- not really.

Well, you do now.

That is, until I annoy you into ghosting me.

So have you really not left the apartment in five years?

Um-- Yeah.

It doesn't feel that long, though.

It never does, right?

When one day just kinda blends into the next.

You make it sound so depressing.

Isn't it?

Sometimes.

Sometimes, though, it can feel safe.

It can feel warm.

You know, I'm most creative when I'm by myself.

Well, what kind of creative stuff do you do?

Uh, usually just, um, you know, just writing, stuff like that.

So, what do you do...

for, like, fun?

Wait here.

♪

Um...

Is this supposed to be

some sort of magic trick or something?

No. Better.

-Hmm. -Okay.

Aces or wild?

That looked like fun.

It really was.

So, are you gonna ask her out?

Isn't that what we just did?

Yeah, that doesn't count.

Plus, you actually have to leave the apartment

at some point.

You know, why do you have to Eeyore my night?

I'm here for the tough love.

Come on.

I'll help you figure this out.

You know what your problem is?

Are you drinking rosé?

Red Bull and white wine.

You're gross.

Go on, tell me my problem.

You're a nosy bitch and you're always up in my shit.

I mean, why do you even care, anyway?

-Because I'm you. -No, no.

-That's not true.

Because-- because I don't care.

You obviously do.

You know nothing about me.

I know everything about you.

You know, you always have to get the last word in, huh?

I can never win a fight with you.

It's very, very frustrating.

You're only fighting with yourself.

Somewhere deep inside your brain,

you are desperate to leave this place.

Why? Huh? Tell me why.

It's warm. It's comfortable. It's safe.

Why would I ever want to leave?

You really wanna know?

Bring it on, fucker.

You are a lonely bastard who buries that loneliness so deep

that you need to create an imaginary friend

to help you deal with it.

Fuck you. You know nothing about me.

You seriously want to take a spin on that block again?

You think you're so smart, that you know everything.

Huh? Well, you know nothing.

Hey, man, I know you're drunk and you don't care,

but I really am just trying to help you.

Well, you suck at it.

You know what, fine.

You wanna fall deeper into your lonely hole until you get

so depressed that you send a bullet through your brain?

-Do it. -I'm not depressed.

You don't know what not being depressed is like anymore.

You've wasted the last five years

in this goddamn prison, and for what?

To not deal with the horrors of the world?

-Exactly. -Well...

I have news for you.

That when you block out the horrors of the world,

you block out the good shit, the shit that makes you happy.

Look at you. Your life sucks.

Fuck you.

All right, fuck you too.

What are we gonna do about him?

You're gettin' fat, Deb.

-Hi. Hi. -Hi.

Oh! I am so sorry.

It's okay, you were obviously asleep, so...

I-- um-- Yes, um, we were.

Oh. "We."

-Oh, I-- I'm sorry. -I'm sorry.

-I mean me. -You have someone over--

-I was asleep. No-- -No, I'm--

Um, please, uh, come in.

Are you sure?

Um... uh, yes...

-Uh, Sylvia, this is-- -Oh, no, don't do that.

...a surprise.

Yeah, well, I know how you love surprises, so.

You, uh, got anything to eat?

Um...

Just talk to her.

-Shh. -She can't hear me.

She can't hear me. Look. Hi. Hello.

-Wow. -She can't hear me.

Your fruit snack game is strong.

Ah, sorry, that makes me seem a little psycho, doesn't it?

No! No, I love it.

-She loves it. -Shut up.

-What? -Oh, it-- it's nothing, sorry.

Are you sure you're okay?

Um, yeah.

Sorry, I'm just a little-- a little hungover.

We didn't drink that much.

I had a little more afterwards.

Uh-oh. You know that binge drinking alone

is a cry for help, right?

Um, yeah. Yeah.

And that banter is a team sport?

-Right. Um...

Wait, no, no!

Um, sorry. Um, the social skills are a little rusty.

Or did they ever exist?

Shh!

Are you sure that there's no one else here?

Uh, positive. Check the whole place.

No, I didn't mean-- I'm sorry. I'm being extra again, huh?

No, no, no. Um, you're fine.

Well, I just wanted to stop by and see

if maybe you wanted to watch a movie later.

Um, depends.

-Oof. -Wrong answer.

Oh. I mean, yes.

Whoa, don't sound too excited.

I'm sorry.

Um, just me and, um...

surprises.

Right, well, you don't have to do anything.

Okay, I'll plan the whole thing,

and all you have to do is be at your door at seven.

Uh, we're not going anywhere, are we?

Oh, my God. Would I do that to you?

I mean, yeah, I guess I totally would.

But that's not what's going on, I promise.

Um, okay.

-"Great. I'm in." -Great. I'm in.

Great. Tonight.

Seven.

Okay. Um...

-Sounds... -Lovely.

...lovely.

Okay.

-Bye.

You are useless.

Goin' on a date tonight, Mom.

Never thought I'd say that again.

I know we haven't talked in a while,

but, uh...

I just hope I don't mess this one up, you know?

You've been there.

Been with me by my side.

I haven't had the best track record.

Wish me luck.

Love you, Mom.

I can't do this.

Look, I don't think I can do this.

I really like you, but I really can't leave this place.

I just--

Oh, okay.

You're great, um, and it's not you.

It's me.

I--

Please don't make me do this.

Oh, boy.

♪ Stormy nights don't stay

♪ You were worth the wait

♪ That I'll ever know

♪ That I'll ever know

Are you good?

You see that ship?

-It's the best. -It's so nice.

You know, we sound pretty good together, actually.

Maybe we should write something.

No, I'm-- No, I can't.

I bet you have hundreds of these songs

just floating around in the back of your head.

Don't you pretend that you don't know that I do.

Yeah, that's a good point.

I hate it when you do that.

♪

I'm proud of you.

Door closed and everything.

Thanks. That's kind of sad, isn't it?

No, it's great.

Uh...

Uh, do you-- would you like to, uh,

watch a movie out in the hall tonight?

Actually, not to push you too hard or anything,

but since now you've technically left your place

and I've technically also been inside...

do you think that we could move our hangouts into your place?

Don't get me wrong, I love this hallway.

But my ass is starting to get a little flat

from sitting on the concrete all the time.

-Um... -Please, please,

say yes, you fucking coward.

-Are you okay? -Um, uh, yeah. Um.

Y-- Yes.

We can hang out at my place tonight.

Great. You won't regret this.

You regret this, don't you?

Um, no, I-- I'm just-- I'm sorry.

This is all, uh-- this is all very new to me.

I'm just, um-- I have to get used to it.

Well, is there anything I can do to help?

Actually, could-- could you just give me one second?

It'll be quick.

Do you take a lot of those?

Only when I get stressed out.

Thanks.

No, no, no, it's-- It's seriously not you,

I just--

I'm sorry, I'm just...

going through a lot right now,

um, but I know I can do this.

I really also like spending time with you.

I like spending time with you too.

I'm gonna have to get used to that.

Sorry.

Oh, God. It's okay.

No, it's okay. It's all right, it's all right.

It's not a big deal, it's fine.

You know, talking to me like I'm a child doesn't help.

I don't know what you want me to do, Benji.

Can you cut me some slack?

I'm sorry.

It's just--

I'm really stressed out tonight.

I better go.

I gotta get up early for work.

Well, that's bullshit.

Excuse me.

What kind of a bar opens early in the morning?

-Right. Inventory. -Oh.

Well, I mean, you really don't have to go.

No, it's okay. You know, we'll pick something easier

next time, like a movie.

But I-- I-- Please, I didn't mean-- I--

That went well.

Shut up, it was a start.

You like her a lot, don't you?

Yeah, well, she's pretty awesome.

She's definitely an improvement.

You've had a pretty crappy track record.

Yup.

Never really been one with the girls, have I?

No, you have not.

You know, my first girlfriend

had to trick me into kissing her.

Yeah, Amy.

And don't forget about the fire starter in college.

-Chloe? -And then there was Rachel.

Who darted after I wasn't famous anymore.

-You have not had

any luck in this department.

No, the only luck I've ever really had

was with my music, and...

somehow I managed to fuck that up too.

Hey, if you don't mind me asking,

what happened with that?

You remember Chloe but you don't remember

what happened with my music?

It might help to talk about it.

I-- Truthfully,

I-- I don't know. You know?

I mean, one minute I'd written this song

that I was physically in love with, you know,

and then the next?

The whole world was in love with it.

I don't know, maybe...

I wasn't ready to share it.

-I don't think that's true. -I--

It all just happened so fast.

And before I could even wrap my head around

recording an album...

you know, my face was everywhere.

You know, cameras were following me.

Executives were asking me for my next album.

-Yeah, that sounds like a lot. -It was! You know?

Like, I remember the moment I snapped.

I was leaving after a show,

and instead of my car,

it was a mob of fans.

And they were just pushing me and shoving

and trying to touch me

and reach their arms out for selfies and--

Something broke in me.

I've never been so scared.

I couldn't breathe.

I passed out, next thing I know,

I woke up in the hospital

with this...

irrational fucking anger.

That anger never left.

Any time I'd feel like that again,

I would just lash out, become violent.

And people thought I was fame-crazed.

It was the exact opposite.

And I don't know. My mind just shut down.

-The freezing onstage. -Freezing on stage.

Even if I wanted to come back from that,

how could I?

So-- so naturally, I just locked myself up

and threw away the fucking key.

I know, buddy.

♪

Are we ever gonna talk about the fact

that I look like Jordan Tyler?

No.

What do you want me to say, okay?

He's just some guy.

He's obviously more than just some guy.

I mean, so he was-- he was good at life.

I sucked at it, you know? So what?

-So, jealousy.

More like inadequacy.

No. You know what? Fuck you.

We're done talking about this, all right?

Just so we're clear.

You sucked at living his life, not yours.

You know, all this insightful bullshit's getting old, right?

All right. Dump in that sugar.

-You sure? -Yes, I'm sure.

Are you kidding me? This is gonna be so good.

-Like that? -Yeah.

I made this recipe up.

Dude, you're getting better at this game now.

-I know, right? -Just kidding.

-Oh, fuck man. -Fuck you, dude.

-No. -Dude.

Fuck you, fuck you.

Yup.

-That sounds good. -That sounds fine.

Is it straight?

Yup.

Nice. Okay.

What is this? You shouldn't have.

You are somethin' else, you know that?

You are so great.

What the hell?

That's exactly what-- What am I doing?

What am I doing? What are you doing?

-That was a waste of money. -I--

What the fuck?

♪ Bring it on, yeah

♪ Bring it on

♪ The rain

♪ You got mystic

♪ Rays of light

♪ Leads you through

♪ The darkest night

Bathroom.

What the fuck are you doing with my phone?

It went off. I'm--

Don't look at my shit, okay?

Geez, okay. Um...

Who's-- who's Becky, and what-- what does she mean?

You know what? I think it's time for me to go.

No, you-- you don't have to go.

No, no, no, no, it's okay,

I, um-- um-- I'm just tired.

I swear. I'll see you tomorrow.

But--

♪ Will you lie here

♪ Under star drowned skies

♪ These are hard times

That's a new one.

Let's just say I was inspired.

What's it called?

Coward.

-No? -Yeah.

Hey! I was writing that too!

♪

Yeah. Teamwork.

Dream work.

It's time, buddy.

No fucking way.

You've been social. You're dating Sylvia.

You're writing and playing again.

You wrote an awesome song.

It's time to take the bigger step.

-No. -Why?

-Because. -Really?

Because I don't want to.

It was her last wish.

Don't you fucking dare.

You do realize the door does not need to be open

for me to get in, right?

You know, we're finally getting along.

Why do you want to ruin that?

I am not here to get along with you.

I'm here to kick your ass out the door!

I'm making progress, aren't I?

Why can't I do it at my own pace?

Just to remind you that I am you

so there's a part of you that wants to do this.

Yeah, but not the same part of me that wants

-to get rid of you right now. -Why are you being so scared?

Fuck!

Look, get this through

your thick, stubborn head, okay?

I'm not ready, so back the fuck off.

Not ready because you don't want to leave the apartment

or not ready because you don't want to say goodbye?

Get the fuck out of my head!

Hi. Can I come in?

Um, yeah. Are you sure?

Yes. Please.

Want another beer?

No, I'm still working on my first.

Are you sure you're okay? You seem really tense.

First time out of the apartment.

Yeah, but you're just across the hall.

I mean, my apartment's almost identical to yours.

Unfortunately, that's not how my brain sees it.

Well, not to encourage more drunkenness

but what about a game of drowning fruit snacks?

What's bothering you?

It's, uh, it's my mom.

I thought your mom was dead.

She is, um,

it's just that, uh...

I, uh-- I have her ashes on my coffee table.

Oh, I was wondering what that was.

Bit of a long story.

Uh, short version.

I missed her funeral

because I wouldn't leave the house.

My father informed me that her final request

was that her ashes be scattered at our old summer home.

But that would mean leaving the house.

-Right. -Right.

How long have you had the ashes?

Three years.

So what's different now?

An annoying little voice in my head

that's pressuring me into doing it.

-I could do it for you. -I'm just not ready.

So what are you gonna do?

Feel guilty.

Hey, I thought it was my turn.

You weren't going. You forfeited your turn.

So are we ever going to talk about why you're a shut in?

That's, um-- that's not really something

I care to talk about.

Obviously.

Well...

would it help if I, um,

if I told you that I know you're Tucker Stills?

How?

Wasn't that hard. I have the Internet.

When? When did you know?

Not right away.

Um, I kind of got my first hint

when I heard the Tucker Stills song

-that you put on that playlist. -Bastard.

And it sounded so much like you.

Not just the voice, but the words.

So a couple of weeks in, I guess.

So I take it, then, you read about the, uh--

the photographer.

Yeah.

-About the Chinese restaurant. -Oh, yeah.

You think I'm psycho, don't you?

No. I-- I didn't know what to believe at first, you know,

'cause the-- the violent, fame-crazed man they were

describing just did not jive with the man that I know.

The gentle, quiet, funny man

who's afraid of his own shadow.

But then I read about the awards and I got it.

I get why you closed yourself off from the world.

They broke you.

-Who broke me? -Everyone.

The press, the fans, the industry...

the world.

Wow.

No one's ever put it like that before.

You're right.

They-- they broke me.

S-- so why the fuck have I been blaming myself all this time?

'Cause the whole world blamed you.

And it's kinda tough to argue with the whole world.

Look, Benji, I'm not here to tell you what's right or wrong

or who to blame or even how to heal.

I can't possibly imagine what you've gone through.

And we can take this as slow or as fast as you want.

I just want you to know that

even if you never leave the house again...

-I'm here for you.

You would never be happy with somebody

who can't leave the house.

But we don't have to be dating for--

for me to be here for you, you know?

We don't have to define anything.

We can just take it day by day

and see if we're friends,

or support systems, or soulmates.

Whatever it is, is fine with me.

You know, I pay $200 a session.

My therapist has never put anything that good.

You should charge.

Hey. Sorry about yesterday.

-Nah, you were right. -Excuse me?

Hey, don't get too excited, all right, buddy?

But, uh, I think you're right, it is time.

I don't even know...

how to respond to that.

You don't have to say anything, just help.

What about Sylvia?

We're cool.

She's helping too.

I don't--

I'm gonna handle my shit.

-I appreciate that. -Yeah, you should.

It got really hot in here all of a sudden.

How you doin'?

♪ It's hard to know

♪ I've been close

♪ I get lost

♪ Looking for you out there

I can't do this.

It's a process. You'll get there.

What if I don't want to get there?

Hey, you don't mean that.

I mean, she's my mom.

Why can't she just stay with me, you know?

Be with me?

That's not what she wanted.

What about what I want?

Yeah, that doesn't matter in this case, man.

I mean, you know your mom is dead, right?

Those are just ashes.

Holy fuck.

If you're supposed to be me, why are you so good at life

and I fucking suck at it? Goddamn.

-No, man. Don't do that. -Fuck.

-Oh, man, oh, God, oh, God. -Don't go there.

-You don't suck at life. -Fuck, I can't.

-You're good at your life. -I can't, I can't, I can't.

Can you say it with me?

-I can't-- Fucking sh-- -Hey, stop.

Say it with me, "I am good at my life."

I am good at my life.

You don't sound convinced. Get up. Come on.

Say it with me.

"I am good at my life."

I am good at my life.

Louder.

I'm good at my life.

Louder. Make me believe.

-I'm fucking good at my life. -Good. You got this.

-I've got this. -Good.

Now go find Sylvia and do this.

Good, now go find Sylvia and do this--

No, fuck. We are done repeating.

-Oh. -Go find Sylvia and do this.

-Fucking moron.

All right, let's open the door.

All right.

Relax.

A little forward, stop.

♪ In a foreign world

♪ I was made

♪ To fall in love with you

♪ I was made

♪ To fall in love with you

♪ I was made

Step down.

♪ To fall in love with you

One more.

Okay.

Taking the blindfold off now.

Wait, wait.

You can do this.

Wow.

How you doing?

It's so beautiful.

It's a good place for your mom to rest.

I'm not sure I'm ready to do this.

It's not about being ready.

Nobody's ever ready.

It's about deciding that it's time.

-Do you need my help? -No.

No.

I can do this.

Well, this is it, Mom.

Thank you--

Thank you for always being my biggest fan.

And for always believing in me.

I promise I'll come visit you...

all the time.

♪

You'll always be with me.

I love you.

Can't believe I spent so much time...

hiding from all of this.

Jordan was right.

I wasted so much time.

Well, now you can make up for it.

I was lost for so long.

Well, you know, someone smart once told me

that to get lost is to find the way.

Who's Jordan?

-Hey, Benji. -Yeah?

I need to tell you something.

Okay.

I wasn't completely honest about the way that we met.

-Okay. -Oh, my gosh, Sylvia,

I've been waiting for you for, like, three hours,

-and I definitely ran-- -Becky, no.

Oh, my gosh. It's Tucker Stills.

-Oh, my God-- -Benji, I'm so sorry.

You look just like your pictures,

and that doesn't always happen.

You know what, I am so excited to meet you in person.

-Becky-- -I'm a huge fan.

-Listen-- No-- -Sylvia has told me

so much about you, but also, most importantly,

I hope you guys don't mind, I did bring some friends.

-They really wanna meet you. -What? Becky, no.

-I know. -You guys, please.

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

That's my bad.

-Benji-- -No.

Okay. Fuck you. You don't get to talk.

I wanted to tell you.

I ju-- What did I just say?

Okay, you used me.

You used me to get to Tucker Stills.

No, not anymore.

Stay the fuck away from me, okay?

No, I did try to find you. I did.

But then I met you and you were nothing like

I thought you would be, and I really did fall for you--

No!

Fuck you.

Victory!

♪ If you wander back again

♪ We both know I'm to blame

♪ If you wander back again

♪ We both know I'm to blame

A packet of cigarettes, please.

$11.

Thank you very much.

♪ We both know I'm to blame

Mr. Williams.

-After you.

Thanks.

So you really think he's gone?

It's been six months.

You don't sound happy.

I feel more alone now than when I was shut in.

I mean, Jordan's gone.

My mother's gone.

You know, Jordan was always with you.

You can visit him whenever you want.

-The same with your mom. -It's not the same, though.

Have you seen Sylvia?

Why the fuck would you ask that?

Hey, what she did was horrible.

But she was the one that got you to leave the house.

There must be something good there.

Jordan got me to leave the house.

Jordan forced you to look at your life.

Sylvia was the catalyst for you to leave.

-You should talk to her. -Why?

She may have a good reason for what she did.

She may feel bad. She may actually love you.

Well, let's focus on better thing.

You're slowly rejoining the real world.

You're even doing that songwriter showcase.

I am very proud of you.

Thanks.

It could be really good for me, in a way.

I just want to do what I love without the fame.

Sounds like a good compromise,

and I'm sure people will be clamoring

-for new Tucker Stills-- -No, no, no.

No more Tucker Stills.

All right? This time I'm doing this as me.

I think that's very healthy.

Just so long as I don't freeze on stage.

I'm really nervous about this, actually.

Just close your eyes when you're on stage

and imagine you are alone in your living room.

No, I mean, it's not that.

I mean, it is that, but also...

Jordan won't be there to see it.

I need you, buddy. Where are you?

You know, I never got to say goodbye.

If it weren't for you, I--

I'd probably still be in that damn apartment.

And I probably have would never left.

Of course, you're a horrible wing man.

I wouldn't have had the balls to do this without you, buddy.

I miss you.

I love you, man.

-Cheers, buddy.

Welcome to the Songwriters Showcase,

Benji Williams.

♪

♪ Now I can't stop

♪ Oh

Are you gonna knock or should I just open it?

Do you want any fruit snacks?

How have you been?

All right, I guess.

Can I please apologize to you?

I never meant for any of this to happen.

I was looking for Tucker Stills,

but then I met you...

and I just felt so connected to you.

Tucker Stills or Benji Williams?

Well, it's true, I was a fan of Tucker Stills...

but now I'm a fan of Benji Williams.

Okay, yeah, I heard that as it was coming out of my mouth.

But seriously, that's-- that's why I felt

such a connection to the words in your music.

It was so personal.

And I really, really felt a connection to the music,

a connection to you.

It's just music.

It's music that you wrote.

Can we start again?

You think you can ever forget Tucker Stills?

-I can try.

So what does that make us?

Friends? Soulmates?

How about support systems?

So, uh...

You're not really a bartender, are you?

I book bands for the Fillmore.

Hmm.

That's actually how we first met.

Um, I didn't personally book you,

I was doing marketing at the time

but I was at your show.

And I was working in the back.

And as soon as you started playing,

I just stopped what I was doing.

I couldn't focus on anything.

I just sat there listening.

♪ Let's just start again

♪ Oh

♪ Whoa-o-oh, yeah

♪ Let's start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Let's start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Start again

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Whoa

♪ Whoa-o-o, yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Let's start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Just start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Let's start again

♪ Uphill, uphill

♪ Start again

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh