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1
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,569
(Explosion)
2
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,825
- (Growls)
- 'So that's what you look like.
3
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,995
"You're ugly! Horrible!
4
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,415
'Go on. Try your intellect on me.'
5
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,667
- (Growls)
- 'I'll see you in hell first!'
6
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,252
(Gunshot)
7
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,795
(Screams)
8
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,673
'Stop!!
9
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,635
"Let's get out of here!
10
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,846
'Cease firing.'
11
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,313
(Grunts)
12
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,981
(Groans)
13
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,737
- 'He acted like he knew it'
- 'He did.
14
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:14,824
'He learned almost too late
that man is a feeling creature.
15
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,536
'And because of it
the greatest in the universe.
16
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:24,000
'There is hope,
but it has to come from man himself.'
17
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,004
I have to go.
I'm gonna eat now.
18
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,506
Hold on. Just a second.
19
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,257
(Indistinct chatter)
20
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,890
'Hello, darling. It's me again.
21
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,934
"Yours cruelly, Elvira.
22
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:44,646
'The gal with the enormous...
uh, ratings. Hmm.
23
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,606
'Well, that's our show.
24
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,527
'I hope you enjoyed watching it
as much as I did.'
25
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,695
(Chuckles, imitates retching)
26
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,573
Oh, boy. I mean, could you believe
that cheesy-looking monster?
27
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,826
Looked like Gumby on steroids.
28
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,120
(Scoffs) Well, at least
the movie had a moral.
29
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,955
Where's the shrimp?
30
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,791
Are you ready for the news?
31
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,251
(Overlapping chatter)
32
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,336
Does anybody know
what that movie was about?
33
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:12,340
Uh, I'll tell you what it was about.
It was about an hour and half too long!
34
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,300
- (Mouths) Cut.
- Hmm. Oh...
35
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,345
And, uh, don't forget next week,
it's "The Head with Two Things"...
36
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,389
Uh, I mean,
"The Thing with Two Heads".
37
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,891
And until then this is Elvira,
38
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,603
the gal who put the boob
back into boob tube,
39
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:29,023
saying unpleasant dreams.
40
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,238
- (Crew) Got the news in one minute.
- Very nice.
41
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,241
Hey! Put me down, will ya?
42
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,326
How do you expect me
to fix your hair...?
43
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,786
Oh, idiot!
44
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,959
Is there anything
that could possibly shame you?
45
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,753
Yeah. Wearing this
in a public place might do it.
46
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,213
(Make-up artist) Ha!
47
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,384
Get it, girlfriend!
48
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,428
You got your news and counting?
49
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,890
- Elvira.
- Not now, Rudy.
50
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,059
Wait a sec, wait a sec.
See, see that guy over there?
51
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,896
What, the lard bucket
in the ten-gallon hat?
52
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,772
Yes, that's the station new owner.
53
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,151
From the edge of the sea
to the end of the valley...
54
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,652
- (Shouts) You what?
- Shut up!
55
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,404
Relax, relax.
56
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,323
This guy's a millionaire, OK?
57
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,491
Mr Hooter...
58
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,745
...this is, uh, Elvira.
59
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,625
Name's Earl, but the ladies back home
call me Longhorn.
60
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,211
Maybe you can guess why.
61
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,797
(Chuckles) Gee, I... I don't know. Does
it have anything to do with your breath?
62
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,426
Why don't we let this little filly
get herself gussied up? And...
63
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,138
...the sooner I get in the saddle,
the better.
64
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,807
(Chuckles) Well, sorry, partner.
65
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:48,144
But it looks like it's gonna be you
and your trusty old right hand.
66
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:51,940
Sounds like you're looking
to get yourself fired, little lady.
67
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,399
Huh! Go ahead and fire me.
68
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,902
I need this job like a leper
needs a three-way mirror!
69
00:03:56,027 --> 00:04:00,073
It just so happens
I have an act opening up in Las Vegas.
70
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:04,661
Oh, terrific. You can try your act
out on me. It's milking' time!
71
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,414
- (Yells)
- That's it! I'm walk in"!
72
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,333
I don't have to take this
from anybody!
73
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,919
And as for you,
you cretinous cowpoke...
74
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,337
Whoa! She's got Hooter!
75
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,673
Somebody on the floor,
get her out of there.
76
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,591
...within so much as ten feet of me
77
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,177
and I'm gonna tie your weenie
in a granny knot!
78
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,513
- (Groans)
- Whoa !
79
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,515
You said she was a nympho.
80
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:30,436
Come on, will you?
Not the ball game! Oh!
81
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,147
- You can't quit!
- (Elvira) What's the big deal?
82
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,857
As soon as my show opens
in Las Vegas,
83
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,069
I never have to host
one of those crap horror movies again.
84
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,281
- There's no problem with the show?
- Problem?
85
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,740
(Chuckles)
86
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,201
Complications maybe,
but never a problem.
87
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,245
All right. Out with it, Manny.
88
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,956
OK. The Flamingo won't...
89
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,499
...won't go ahead
with the show
90
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,668
unless you come up
with some money.
91
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,338
- Well, how much do they want?
- (Gulps) 50,000 dollars.
92
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,509
50,000 dollars?
Are you nuts?
93
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,095
(Gasps) Where am I gonna
come up with that kind of money?
94
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,597
Maybe it's not too late
to get your job back.
95
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,642
Forget it, Manny. I'm never working
for that sleazeball again!
96
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:13,521
(Sighs) I'll just have to find
another sleazeball.
97
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,440
(Knocking on door)
98
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,442
- Ooh!
- (Crew) A telegram for Miss Elvira.
99
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,985
I'll take it.
100
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:26,909
"Dear Elvira, as executor of the estate
of your great-aunt, Miss Morgan a Talbot,
101
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:31,080
"I'm sorry to inform you
of her un...timely passing."
102
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,083
Whoa !! I didn't even know I had a good aunt,
much less a great one.
103
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,543
Let me see that.
104
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,589
Says here all I have to do
is come to Fall well, Massachusetts,
105
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,592
for the reading of the will
and I'll pick up my inheritance!
106
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,969
Is that timing or what?
107
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,389
(Sobs, blows nose)
108
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:53,478
"And lastly
to my enchanting niece Elvira,
109
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,772
"who has unflinchingly withstood
110
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,649
"the slings and arrows
of an imperfect world
111
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,736
"without so much
as a whimper or a complaint..."
112
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,446
Mm. (Gasps)
113
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:07,325
"...1 bequeath my entire fortune.”
114
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,826
(Congregation) Oh.
115
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,079
(Gasps, sobs)
116
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:15,833
Let's show Elvira
exactly what she's inherited!
117
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,960
() Game show music)
118
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,545
(Bell rings)
119
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,547
(Gasps)
120
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:26,344
Elvira, you are going to start
with something that dreams are made of.
121
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,805
- (Gasping)
- A beautiful new sailboat!
122
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,933
You're going to sail away
123
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,978
- in a sporty Sun chaser il from Snark.
- (Yelps)
124
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,230
And that's not all.
125
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,815
When you're tired of sailing,
126
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,236
you'll drive home
in this brand-new Jeep Wrangler!
127
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,862
(Squeals) I needed one of those!
128
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:49,450
And you'll sit down to dinner at
this beautiful ten-piece dining-room suite
129
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,411
from American Heritage.
130
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,121
(Screams, yelps)
131
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,581
And top... and top of all of that...
132
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,001
...money!
133
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,547
- Lots and lots of money!
- (Yelps)
134
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,513
Elvira? Elvira, are you all right?
135
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,099
Hm. Go ahead
and call The Flamingo, Manny.
136
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,559
Tell 'em I'll have that 50 grand
137
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,602
as soon as I get back
from Massachusetts.
138
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,397
Las Vegas, here I come!
139
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,984
(♪ LORI CHACKO:
"Once Bitten Twice Shy")
140
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,235
♪ Hey, hey
141
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,280
♪ Hey, hey...
142
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,948
(Tyres screeching)
143
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,533
♪ Hey, hey
144
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:36,247
♪ Hey, hey
I've been around round and round
145
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:40,376
♪ I broke it up
cos you shot me down, down, yeah
146
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,171
♪ Oh, yeah...
147
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,422
(Tyres screeching)
148
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,132
Hop in, sailor!
149
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,718
♪ |I took a ride on your winding road
150
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:52,430
♪ Told you some secrets
I ain't ever told before...
151
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,557
(Chuckles)
152
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,100
♪ No more...
153
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,310
(Tyres screeching)
154
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,897
♪ So if you wanna meet
in the halfway...
155
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,773
Here. You forgot your axe!
156
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,067
(Groans)
157
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,279
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
158
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:14,285
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
159
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,704
(Howling)
160
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,790
♪ There's a place
just down the road
161
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,168
♪ Where the little ones
have fallen souls
162
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,045
♪ Oh, yeah
163
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,131
♪ Oh, yeah...
164
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,175
(Siren wails)
165
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,261
♪ Take me to Shanghai,
take me away
166
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:35,598
♪ I need a rest
from this crazy masquerade...
167
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,601
You know you were doing 50
in a 25 mile-per-hour zone?
168
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,104
Uh, no. But if you hum a few bars,
I'll fake it.
169
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,065
(Chuckles)
170
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,903
(Clears throat, sighs)
171
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,488
Oh, I gotta get a new joke.
172
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,281
This one's costing me a fortune.
173
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:56,953
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
174
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,082
♪ Huh...
175
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,295
(Farts)
176
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,052
♪ Hey, hey, hey... J
177
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,348
(Switches radio station)
178
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,017
♪ I go inside
and order some chicken-fried steak...
179
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,478
Hey! How about some gas”?
180
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,105
♪ Chicken-fried steak
181
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,400
♪ Oh, chicken-fried steak
182
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,235
♪ Potatoes and gravy
183
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,112
♪ And peas on a plate...
184
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,614
This...
185
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,992
♪ Don't make no mistake
186
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:40,830
♪ There ain't nothing better
than chicken-fried steak
187
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,750
♪ Well, the first bite
is the best bite
188
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,295
♪ It's the one that sets me free
189
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,755
♪ Smothered in some gravy
190
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,924
♪ It drips all over me
191
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,595
♪ I can sink down into it
192
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,264
♪ It's more than I can take
193
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:02,727
♪ When I started chewing
on that chicken-fried steak
194
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,105
♪ Chicken-fried steak
195
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,608
♪ Oh, chicken-fried steak
196
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,152
♪ Potatoes and gravy
197
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,154
♪ And peas on a plate...
198
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,282
- (Engine starts)
- You know, those things will kill ya.
199
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,203
Have a nice day!
200
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,080
♪ Chicken-fried steak
201
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:28,002
♪ If there ever comes a time,
I get my gun and I go wrong...
202
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,462
(Farts)
203
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,672
♪ And the judge says I must die
204
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,799
♪ Or the jury wants me gone... J
205
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,551
(Explosions)
206
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,391
(♪ LORI CHACKO:
"Once Bitten Twice Shy")
207
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,398
♪ Hey, hey, hey
208
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,411
♪ Ow
209
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,708
♪ Just like a cat on a hot tin roof
210
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,335
♪ Feel I'm feminine
211
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,795
♪ Why can't you lose her?
212
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,882
♪ Once bitten, twice shy
213
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:21,097
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
214
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,556
(Mouths) Hi.
215
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:27,269
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
216
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:32,608
♪ I said once bitten, twice...
217
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,443
(Bell tolls)
218
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,281
(Music drowns speech)
219
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,874
♪ So, if you wanna meet
in the halfway
220
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,626
♪ Too damn bad
221
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:55,840
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
222
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,299
(Horn honks)
223
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:02,263
- ♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
- (Whimpers)
224
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,765
♪ Huh...
225
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,144
I can make darn sure he doesn't get.
I have my ways, you know.
226
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,234
(Engine stops)
227
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,072
- (Man) Keep the kids back, honey.
- Well!
228
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,575
- (Car door closes)
- Ooh! Ooh!
229
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,119
Well, I never!
230
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,705
Yeah, and you never will
with them soup cans on your head.
231
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,667
Listen, young lady, I don't know
who you are or where you came from,
232
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,211
but you most certainly
don't fit in this town.
233
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,297
Why, you don't even fit
in that dress.
234
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,260
Listen, sister, if I want your opinion,
I'll beat it out of ya.
235
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,596
(Yelps) Anita !
236
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,932
Anita! It's the Antichrist, I tell you.
The Antichrist!
237
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,935
Can someone tell me
where there's a garage around here?
238
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,104
Yeah, yeah.
There's one right up the street.
239
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,398
Oh. (Chuckles)
240
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,318
Well, uh, would one of you
big strong men
241
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,945
mind give me a little push?
242
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,405
(Chuckles)
243
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,871
Easy, easy.
Don't scratch the paint.
244
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,420
She's incredible.
245
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,048
And what I wouldn't do
for just one peek at those gazongas.
246
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,508
They're unreal!
247
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,261
Oh, great!
That means I'm stuck in this hellhole!
248
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,847
I mean, this quaint little hellhole.
249
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,642
Uh, listen, is there a motel
or something' around here?
250
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:34,021
Well, there's the Cozy Cot
down by the widow Bishop's feed store.
251
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:38,776
Of course, her son sort of took that over
after she had that spell of gingivitis.
252
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:43,572
Her whole mouth swollen up.
It looked like she ate a box of staples.
253
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,992
Folks were saying she got it from kissing'
that old dog of hers. (Chuckles)
254
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,705
Nice tits.
255
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,758
(Door bell rings)
256
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,053
Yoo-hoo!
257
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,805
(TV plays)
258
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,850
- (Bell dings)
- Can I have a room?
259
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,815
Sorry. We're booked solid.
260
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,859
So how it come
it says "vacancy" out there?
261
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,117
Look, we do have a room.
262
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,994
Remember the trucker
with the bad skin
263
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,328
that checked out this morning?
264
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:33,414
Eew. I hope you changed the sheets.
265
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,796
Hi.
266
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,924
Is that makeup
I see on your face, young lady?
267
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,218
Hm... No, ma'am.
268
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,637
I mean, yes, ma'am.
Well, just a little.
269
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,182
How many times have I told you?
You're too young to wear makeup.
270
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,852
- No, Mother, I don't see the harm...
- Shut up, Leslie!
271
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,187
Grandma, all the other girls at school
are wearing makeup.
272
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,274
Well, if all the other girls at school
jumped off a cliff,
273
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,734
would you jump off a cliff?
274
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:06,322
You don't have the sense
that you were born with! You have...
275
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,909
I hate to interrupt this little episode
of "The Waltons" but could I get a room?
276
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,204
OK, but it's cash upfront.
277
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,958
I know what you pinko,
heavy metal weirdos
278
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,793
do to motel rooms.
279
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,504
Read all about it in "The Star".
280
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,548
I'll, uh, I'll show the lady
to her room.
281
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,008
Oh, no, you don't!
282
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,894
Hey, don't let them get you down.
283
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,520
I used to get the same line
about makeup
284
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,314
from the nuns
at the orphanage.
285
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,815
Of course, I was only eight.
286
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,777
Uh... I'm Elvira. (Chuckles)
287
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,528
I'm Robin.
288
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,949
So, um, Robin, what's there to do
for fun around here, anyway?
289
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,744
- Hmm. This town isn't real big on fun.
- Hm.
290
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,039
Well, there is one place that's open.
The bowling alley.
291
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,999
That gets real wild
on League Night.
292
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,252
(Chuckles) Gee, I think I can handle it.
293
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,138
Oh, I am so sure.
294
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,224
They must think we're really stupid.
295
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,685
They're gonna kill Spider-Man
with plutonium?
296
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,645
He's got radioactive blood.
297
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,731
Yeah? Let me see that.
298
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,654
- Hey, man. What did you do that for?
- Shut up!
299
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,122
Look at what just walked in.
300
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,834
(Sighs)
301
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:48,382
Ooh, uh, Bloody Mary.
302
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,427
No hard liquor served past eight o'clock.
Do you want a Virgin?
303
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,930
Uh, maybe, but, uh, I'll have
a couple of drinks first.
304
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,515
Mm. Uh.
305
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,402
Hey, baby.
306
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,571
I got something' to show you.
307
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,491
Sorry.
Left my magnifying glass at home.
308
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,745
(Chuckles)
309
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,789
Hey, that's pretty good. Billy...
310
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,751
That is no way to talk to a lady.
311
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,670
So... how about a blowjob?
312
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,714
(Both chuckling)
313
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,813
Ah...
314
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,193
I bet you think that was pretty funny,
don't ya?
315
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,319
I enjoyed it.
316
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,030
Yeah? You're gonna enjoy
this even more.
317
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,865
- Uh, uh, uh.
- I'll cut you, man!
318
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,284
Oh! She stabbed me!
319
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,538
- Faked ya out.
- Yeah, well, this ain't fake, baby!
320
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,874
So stand still
cos I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
321
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,587
- (Grunts)
- (Chuckles)
322
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,510
Um, my name is Elvira,
but you can call me... tonight.
323
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,388
Hmm. I'm Bob. Bob Redding.
324
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,265
Pleased to meet you.
325
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:23,894
Look at this mess.
Who the heck is gonna pay for it?
326
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,271
It's all right, Patty.
I'll take care of the damages.
327
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:30,150
Seems to me
it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
328
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,277
Cheap? Who are you calling cheap?
329
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,030
What's that perfume you're wearing?
Catch of the day?
330
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:38,742
Look, honey, I don't know
which hole you crawled out of,
331
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,204
but I suggest you crawl right back in
if you know what's good for you.
332
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,373
Yeah, you better watch out.
333
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,375
You could put somebody's eyes out
with them things.
334
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,253
(Clears throat) Hmm.
335
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,879
- (Patty) Break it up.
- We better go.
336
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,719
It looks like
you've got some competition, Patty.
337
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:04,017
Charlie, trash
does not compete with class.
338
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,982
Right down the street
at the Cozy Cot.
339
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,441
Oh.
340
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,694
So, what brought you to Fall well?
341
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,529
Um, my car.
342
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,197
(Both chuckling)
343
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,993
(Clears throat) No, I'm here for the
reading of my great-aunt Morgana's will.
344
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,329
Morgan a Talbot? She's your aunt?
345
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,624
Yeah, came as a surprise to me too.
(Chuckles)
346
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,919
I never really knew her,
but I sure admired her spunk.
347
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,839
She never caved in the way
everybody else in this town has.
348
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,301
Well, I don't wanna bore you
with local politics.
349
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,760
(Scoffs)
350
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,388
Go ahead. Bore me.
351
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:45,434
OK, we've got this town council
that lives in mortal fear
352
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:49,479
that somewhere, somehow, somebody
in Fallwell's having a good time.
353
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,107
Oh.
Bunch of real preservatives, huh?
354
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,109
- (Chuckles)
- Oh. (Chuckles)
355
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:58,947
- I run the movie house.
- Oh, really? I'm in movies too!
356
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:02,034
Have you ever shown,
uh, um, "I Married Satan"?
357
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:03,660
No.
358
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,121
How about the sequel,
"I Married Satan 2?"
359
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,748
No.
360
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,375
Uh... Hm.
361
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,378
I, uh... I can only play G-rated movies.
362
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,881
Oh, well, there's nothing wrong
with G-rated movies,
363
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,467
as long as there's lots
of sex and violence.
364
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,469
Um, hey, listen, Bob. Hmm.
365
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,971
I'm only gonna be in town
for a couple of days
366
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:26,850
and... I can't think of anyone
who I'd rather squeeze into my...
367
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,853
...agenda.
368
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,939
Gee, that'd be swell.
369
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,573
(Car door closes, engine starts)
370
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,919
(Birds chirping)
371
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,672
(Woman) Oh, Mr Talbot.
372
00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:01,802
Your sister was like a mother to me.
373
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,137
She was a mother to me too, dear.
374
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,225
Well, now that we've dispensed with
the obligatory display of bereavement,
375
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,727
you may begin the proceedings,
Mr Bigelow.
376
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,146
Uh, it was Mrs Talbot's wish
377
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,233
to have all of her relatives present
for the reading of the will.
378
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:22,447
All of her relatives are present,
me, myself and I
379
00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,574
(Chuckles nervously)
380
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,287
Well, apparently,
Mrs Talbot has a grand-niece, Elvira,
381
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,831
who was also
one of the beneficiaries.
382
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,333
- That's impossible.
- Uh, uh, well...
383
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,753
- Who is this grand-niece?
- (Door opens)
384
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:41,091
Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late,
but then so's my aunt! (Chuckles)
385
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,635
Hey, what she die of?
Nothing serious I hope.
386
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,346
Say, nice jacket.
Who shot the couch?
387
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,975
(Chuckles) Hey, is there
a bathroom around here?
388
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,727
I'm telling you the toilet
over the Cozy Cot
389
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,812
looks like somebody's science project.
390
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,939
Who is this woman?
391
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:59,526
This must be Mrs Talbot's grand-niece.
392
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:05,407
Uh, Elvira, this is your great-aunt's
brother, Vincent Talbot.
393
00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:08,535
She was my aunt
and you're her brother.
394
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:12,289
Then you must be my Uncle Vinnie!
395
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,499
Get this woman off of me!
396
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:18,628
Oh, and you must be
Auntie Em and Uncle Remus.
397
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:23,008
Oh! There's no place like home!
There's no place like home!
398
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:26,178
Hurry up, Bigelow.
Let's get on with it!
399
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:29,181
Yeah, really. Let's get going
before somebody else dies!
400
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,932
(Chuckles)
401
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,101
- (Mutters)
- Ooh.
402
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,523
Hm, uh, "This is the certified
and only last will and testament
403
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:41,318
"of the deceased Morgan a Talbot.
404
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:45,655
"To my housekeeper, Mrs Morrissey,
for years of loyalty and devotion,
405
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:49,868
"I leave my silver tea service
and a cash allotment of 5,000 dollars."
406
00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:51,536
- (Snores)
- Oh. (Sobs)
407
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,123
Hey, babe, what you whining about?
408
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:56,875
You made out like a bandit.
409
00:22:57,501 --> 00:23:00,253
"To Mr Morrissey, my driver,
410
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:04,508
"I leave my automobile
and an allotment of 5,000 dollars."
411
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,260
Whoa, dude!
Ten grand just for the help?
412
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,805
Ha! That old gal
must have really been loaded!
413
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:14,726
Oh, I mean, dear sweet Aunt Morgan a
certainly was generous. (Chuckles)
414
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:17,270
What's it say about me?
What I get? What I get? What I get?
415
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,606
Uh...
416
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:23,652
- "To my grand-niece Elvira..."
- Come on. Lay it on me, Aunt Morgan a.
417
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,987
Big bucks! Big bucks!
418
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,572
Uh, uh...
419
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:32,786
Uh, uh, "I bequeath my house,
my beloved poodle, Algonquin
420
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,622
- "and my precious book of recipes."
- (Stamps stick)
421
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,458
That's it?
A house, a dog and a book?
422
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,087
Please, if you will allow me to finish.
423
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,924
"And finally, to my dear brother, Vincent,
424
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,844
"I leave the rest of my estate
and holdings
425
00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,430
"of which there is none."
426
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:53,473
Hm.
427
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,726
Where's the cash?
Where's the furniture?
428
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,061
Where's Bob Eubanks?
429
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,898
He wasn't mentioned.
430
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:05,193
I don't get it, man, uh, boss.
431
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:07,279
What's so important
about a dumb recipe book?
432
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:11,032
That dumb recipe book
contains more power
433
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,743
than your feeble little minds
can ever imagine.
434
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,121
And it rightfully belongs to me.
435
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:18,832
I must have that book.
436
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,209
Great! Just what I need, a house.
437
00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:23,837
I need a house in Fall well,
like I need a padded bra !
438
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,591
I can't live here !
I'll go crazy, I tell you!
439
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,342
Get... Oh...
440
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,553
(Grunts) Crazy!
441
00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:33,597
(Horn honks, tyres screeching)
442
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,059
- May I offer you a ride?
- Buzz off, creep! I'm not in the mood!
443
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:40,645
- Oh, it's you, Uncle Vinnie!
- Yes!
444
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:43,273
Uncle Vinnie.
445
00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:45,734
I must apologise
for my behaviour in the office.
446
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:49,070
It's just that your appearance
was a bit of a shock to me.
447
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,615
It's OK. My appearance
Is kind of a shock to everybody.
448
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,201
Yes, well,
as you may have surmised,
449
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:59,206
my sister and I, well...
let's just say we... had our differences.
450
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:02,417
Yeah, I guess.
You really got shafted.
451
00:25:02,918 --> 00:25:04,794
Uh, look,
I'll tell you what, Uncle Vinnie,
452
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,963
um, I'll share my inheritance
with you.
453
00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:09,424
- You can have the dog.
- No! Thank you.
454
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:13,637
But I would be interested
in acquiring that recipe book.
455
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:16,973
You know, for sentimental reasons.
I'd be willing to pay you.
456
00:25:17,098 --> 00:25:18,767
Say, 50 dollars.
457
00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:20,894
Hey, sure! I'll do it for fifty bucks.
458
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,354
Oh!
459
00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:24,981
Vinnie, you got yourself
a cookbook.
460
00:25:25,106 --> 00:25:26,775
That lawyer guy
is taking me over to the house,
461
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:27,984
SO you can pick up it later.
462
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,778
Fine. I'll see you there.
463
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,989
- Oh, uh, don't forget to bring the cash.
- Mm-hm.
464
00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:37,285
Drive!
465
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:40,622
(Elvira) If one of those bottles
should happen to fall... Oh, we're here.
466
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,208
(Engine stops)
467
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,086
(Bicycle bells ring)
468
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,546
(Boy) Wait up!
469
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,507
Hey, this place ain't half bad!
470
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:52,342
Bet you could get a bundle for it.
471
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,762
Yes, you could,
but your house is over there.
472
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,392
(Sighs)
473
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,443
Ooh, Mr Talbot!
474
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:14,656
I wanted to thank you for that generous
donation you made to the Morality Club.
475
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:18,660
- You're quite welcome.
- As I always say, morals aren't cheap.
476
00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:21,663
And speaking of cheap,
uh, a little birdy told me
477
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:24,958
- that Elvira woman is related to you.
- Mm.
478
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:29,421
Now, not that it's any of my business,
but then, 'course, everything is.
479
00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:32,507
Believe me, I'm as anxious
to get rid of her as you are.
480
00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:33,633
Oh, good!
481
00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,927
You know, because
someone like that comes to town,
482
00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:39,014
the next thing you know they're teaching
sex education in the schools
483
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:41,433
and they're passing out condoms
to kindergartners.
484
00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:43,351
You remember
when those swarthy fellas...
485
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:45,770
She won't be with us very long.
486
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:48,440
Oh. Um...
487
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,650
Uh, why, uh...
488
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:53,278
Ah, well,
I know I'm needed somewhere.
489
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:56,072
Chastity Pariah can do.
Bye-bye now.
490
00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:58,908
(Door creaks)
491
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,871
Careful.
Some of the boards are loose.
492
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,084
(Sighs) What a dump!
493
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:11,171
Like I said,
the house needs a little something.
494
00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:14,924
- Yeah! Like a wrecking ball.
- (Dog barks)
495
00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:20,764
I think Algonquin likes you.
496
00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:23,808
Oh... Here, doggie. Go on.
Go chase this into the street.
497
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,480
(Sighs) I can't stand little dogs.
498
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,815
Boy, if my aunt wasn't dead,
I'd kill her!
499
00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,902
- Oh.
- (Floorboard creaks)
500
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,571
Sorry, Aunt Morgan a.
Just... kidding.
501
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,450
- (Exhales)
- Mm-hm.
502
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,161
Here's the rest of your inheritance.
503
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,039
Your great-aunt's recipe book.
504
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,213
Oh, yeah, some inheritance.
505
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,382
Well, at least
I'm getting 50 bucks for it.
506
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:58,426
Say, how much you think
I can get for this place?
507
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:02,430
Well, even though the house
Is in disrepair, it is in a prime location.
508
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:05,600
I'd venture to say
you could get, uh, 70,000.
509
00:28:05,725 --> 00:28:08,687
- 70 grand?
- Maybe more, if it were fixed up.
510
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,773
- Would you be interested in selling?
- Does a chicken have a pecker?
511
00:28:11,898 --> 00:28:13,233
'Course I'm interested!
512
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,943
(Mutters)
513
00:28:16,569 --> 00:28:17,946
(Floorboards creaking)
514
00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:20,573
(Door creaks, closes)
515
00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:23,952
(Tuts) Now, what am I gonna do
with you?
516
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,413
(Whimpers)
517
00:28:33,628 --> 00:28:35,630
(Exhales) That's more like it, Algonquin.
518
00:28:35,755 --> 00:28:37,257
- (Whimpers)
- (Tuts)
519
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:40,009
Algonquin... What a sissy name.
520
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,887
Let's see. What do I call ya?
521
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,515
I know! Gonk.
How do you like that?
522
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,392
(Snarls)
523
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:50,186
(Barks)
524
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:56,693
(Knocking on door)
525
00:28:57,944 --> 00:28:59,696
Yeah, hold your horses.
526
00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,614
(Knocking on door)
527
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:06,536
Hi, Uncle Vinnie! You're here
for the book, right? Come on in!
528
00:29:06,661 --> 00:29:08,329
Can I make you a cup of tea
or something'?
529
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,331
I wouldn't want to put you
to any trouble.
530
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:11,916
Mm. Good point.
531
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,002
I can't stay very long, anyway.
532
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,421
Say, you don't wanna buy a house,
would ya?
533
00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:18,423
- I'm afraid not.
- I'll sell it to you cheap.
534
00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:20,133
Uh, no, thank you.
535
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:22,135
They don't make houses
like this any more.
536
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,053
I mean, look at that detailing.
537
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:27,557
Look at the craftsmanship! Uh...
538
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:29,100
What would you pay
for a house like this?
539
00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:30,977
Don't answer
because you not only get a house.
540
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:34,105
If you act right now,
you also get all this beautiful furniture!
541
00:29:34,230 --> 00:29:36,566
Now what would you pay?
I'm telling you it's a jewel box.
542
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,359
It's a gem, a love hutch for two.
543
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:39,903
I'll bend over backwards
to make you a deal.
544
00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:43,114
I'll bend over forwards...
I'd stand on my head and...
545
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,742
(Yells) No! Just the book!
546
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,913
OK. I mean,
if you're gonna get crabby about it...
547
00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,208
(Floorboards creaking)
548
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,335
(Clock ticks)
549
00:29:57,170 --> 00:30:00,548
That's weird. I would have sworn
the book was just on that table.
550
00:30:00,673 --> 00:30:02,759
You promised me that book!
551
00:30:02,884 --> 00:30:05,094
Hey, don't get your panties
in a bunch.
552
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:07,347
It didn't just walk away.
I'm sure it'll turn up.
553
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:08,890
Yes!
554
00:30:09,557 --> 00:30:11,142
Of course, it will.
555
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:13,937
Forgive me.
556
00:30:16,564 --> 00:30:18,817
(Barks, growls)
557
00:30:18,942 --> 00:30:20,693
Hmm. Thinks he's a pit-bull.
558
00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,613
(Snarls)
559
00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:26,533
(Thunderclaps)
560
00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:30,662
(Sighs)
561
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,289
(Bed creaks)
562
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:35,708
(Exhales) Good thing
I'm not gonna be here very long.
563
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,836
The neighbours would never get
any sleep.
564
00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:40,922
(Thunder rumbles, thunderclap)
565
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:44,551
Ah!
566
00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:48,263
About time, doofus.
Did you bring the camera?
567
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,473
- Do I look like an idiot?
- Want me to answer that?
568
00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:52,559
Shut up, you guys!
She's gonna hear us.
569
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:02,527
(Mirror squeaks)
570
00:31:04,612 --> 00:31:06,531
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
571
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:09,826
who's the most drop-dead gorgeous
one of all?
572
00:31:09,951 --> 00:31:12,912
(Chuckles) Oh, you're just saying that.
573
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:14,414
Hmm.
574
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:19,252
(Thunderclap)
575
00:31:28,052 --> 00:31:29,470
(Indistinct chatter)
576
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,975
(Grunts) Crap.
577
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,228
- (Boy #1) What do you see?
- (Boy #2) In a minute, in a minute.
578
00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:38,688
Ow! My fingers.
579
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:41,107
- Guys, I can't see...
- In a minute.
580
00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:45,028
(Boy #1) Wait. God, it's cold out.
581
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:47,572
Whoa.
582
00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:55,413
Don't drop it. Ow, ow.
583
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,587
Ow! Let me see.
584
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:17,268
- Awesome!
- (Camera shutter clicks)
585
00:32:17,393 --> 00:32:19,145
Whoa !!
586
00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:20,688
I got ya.
587
00:32:22,148 --> 00:32:24,150
(Indistinct chatter)
588
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:25,693
Did you get it?
589
00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:29,739
- (Screams)
- Bo!
590
00:32:30,573 --> 00:32:32,825
Haven't you boys got someplace else
to hang around?
591
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:36,079
Uh, we heard you might need a little help
fixing up the place.
592
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,747
Hmm. That's very thoughtful,
593
00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:40,291
but why don't you come back
when the light's better?
594
00:32:40,416 --> 00:32:41,918
Good night!
595
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:44,170
(Boys screaming)
596
00:32:47,423 --> 00:32:50,134
- You blew it!
- Did you see those gazongas?
597
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:52,845
- Some.
- I got it!
598
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,305
- Great!
- All right!
599
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:57,016
(Thunderclap)
600
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,024
(Woman) 'Elvira.
601
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:10,905
'Elvira.
602
00:33:20,873 --> 00:33:22,667
'Elvira.
603
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,429
'Elvira.'
604
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:48,526
(Door creaks)
605
00:34:00,663 --> 00:34:02,081
(Tinkling)
606
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:04,000
(Screams)
607
00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:06,544
(Gasps)
608
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,214
(Thunderclap)
609
00:34:10,339 --> 00:34:12,341
(Pants)
610
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,218
(Exhales deeply)
611
00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:17,346
(Sighs)
612
00:34:17,472 --> 00:34:19,974
Oh, out, out, out! Out!
613
00:34:20,099 --> 00:34:21,434
(Barks)
614
00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,941
(Sighs, exhales)
615
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,069
(Thunderclap)
616
00:34:34,697 --> 00:34:36,240
(Birds chirping)
617
00:34:37,116 --> 00:34:38,493
(Exhales)
618
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:43,581
- Hi, Elvira.
- HI.
619
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,416
Oh, hi. You're here.
620
00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:48,669
Richard's folks run the hardware store.
And we got lots of paint.
621
00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:51,464
Oh, do you?
Too bad they don't own the bank.
622
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:53,132
Uh, I'll be right down.
623
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,386
- Let's do it!
- (♪ LARRY WRIGHT: "Shout")
624
00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:58,679
♪ You know you make me
wanna shout
625
00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:00,139
♪ Kick my heels up and shout
626
00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:01,849
♪ Throw my hands up and shout...
627
00:35:02,558 --> 00:35:05,311
Hey, Elvira,
we got us a couple more volunteers.
628
00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:08,481
Great! Just grab a tool
and start banging! Hmm.
629
00:35:08,606 --> 00:35:10,650
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
630
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,527
♪ Say you will
631
00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,112
♪ Say it right now, baby
632
00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:15,571
♪ Come on, come on
633
00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:18,157
♪ Say you will
634
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:19,617
♪ Say...
635
00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:22,954
- Hi, Elvira.
- Hi, Robin. Come on in.
636
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,039
♪ Say that you need me
637
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,749
♪ You wanna please me
638
00:35:26,874 --> 00:35:29,001
♪ Come on now, come on now...
639
00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:31,504
(Robin) Randy,
can you get me that rag?
640
00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:34,340
Randy!
641
00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:37,176
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
642
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:39,846
♪ I still remember
when you used to be nine years old...
643
00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:43,391
Young lady!
644
00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:48,104
Robin Meeker, what in the name
of damnation are you doing here?
645
00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:50,314
- You're gonna pay...
- Robin!
646
00:35:50,439 --> 00:35:52,441
I'm gonna find out about this,
young lady!
647
00:35:52,567 --> 00:35:54,110
- Robin!
- Come over here!
648
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:56,279
When are you gonna learn
to do what you're told?
649
00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:59,448
If you're not gonna do what you're told,
you're gonna end up on...
650
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,284
J You know you make me
wanna shout
651
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,119
♪ Lift my head up and shout
652
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:04,996
♪ Throw my hands back and shout
653
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,455
♪ Come on now, shout
654
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:08,833
♪ Come on now, shout
655
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,459
♪ All right now, shout
656
00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:12,253
♪ Come on now, shout
657
00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:13,754
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
658
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,298
♪ Come on now, shout
659
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:16,966
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
660
00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:18,467
♪ Come on, shout
661
00:36:18,593 --> 00:36:20,052
♪ Come on, shout...
662
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:21,762
(Elvira) Lemonade!
663
00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:23,222
♪ Come on now, shout
664
00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:24,682
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
665
00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:26,392
♪ Come on now, shout...
666
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:28,936
(Crowd mutters)
667
00:36:30,646 --> 00:36:31,981
It's fabulous!
668
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:34,442
♪ You know you make me
wanna shout...
669
00:36:34,567 --> 00:36:35,902
(Cheering, whooping)
670
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:39,155
♪ Come on now, shout... J
671
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,115
I tell you, I nearly died.
672
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,910
There she was parading around
in clothes
673
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,787
that couldn't keep
a titmouse dry in a drizzle.
674
00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:49,040
I mean, it was next to nothin'!
675
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,709
I'd say it was next to plenty.
676
00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:57,924
And she had half the teenagers in town
writhing around to that jungle music!
677
00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:03,846
And this morning on my regular tour
of the boys lavatory I confiscated this!
678
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,100
Hm.
679
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,730
I'll be making the announcement
this afternoon.
680
00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:17,276
Henceforth, all students
will be subject to immediate expulsion
681
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:20,988
if there are found
in the company of that floozy!
682
00:37:21,113 --> 00:37:24,867
Please, I don't think we need
to resort to name-calling.
683
00:37:24,992 --> 00:37:26,744
I think what Calvin is trying to say
684
00:37:26,869 --> 00:37:31,165
is that this Elvira
IS a person of easy virtue,
685
00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:33,334
a purveyor of pulchritude,
686
00:37:33,459 --> 00:37:36,003
one woman's Sodom and Gomorrah,
if you will.
687
00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:40,633
A slimy, slithering succubus,
a concubine,
688
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:44,011
a street walker, a tramp,
a slut, a cheap whore!
689
00:37:45,888 --> 00:37:49,350
She'll be nothing but a bad dream
just as soon as she sells that property.
690
00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:51,394
An open house
has been planned for tomorrow.
691
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:53,813
But what if she decides not to sell?
692
00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:56,691
What if she decides to settle here?
693
00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:59,068
Well, if she is morally unfit,
694
00:37:59,193 --> 00:38:02,697
then we have every right to do anything
we can to get her out of this town.
695
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:05,116
- Are we agreed?
- Absolutely.
696
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,660
Maybe we're not being
entirely objective about this.
697
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:09,328
Shut up, Leslie!
698
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,038
Then it's unanimous.
699
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:16,294
Harold Glotter, Fall well Real Estate.
700
00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:18,629
Well, I sure hope you got a buyer.
701
00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:21,382
I haven't had so much
as a lookie-loo.
702
00:38:21,507 --> 00:38:22,842
Don't worry.
703
00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:24,385
(Clock ticks)
704
00:38:25,219 --> 00:38:28,264
I have some wealthy investors friends
who'd buy this house in a minute.
705
00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:31,017
That is... if you play your cards right.
706
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,186
Oh! Honey, I'd do anything
to get rid of this rat trap.
707
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:37,064
Hm. That's what I like,
a motivated seller.
708
00:38:37,857 --> 00:38:39,442
It's all a matter of technique.
709
00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:41,861
For starters, let's try and...
710
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:45,448
...set the proper mood.
711
00:38:45,573 --> 00:38:46,991
Oh, good idea. Hmm.
712
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,784
I mean, the less they see,
the better.
713
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:52,580
Then it's usually a matter
of getting close to the buyer.
714
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:55,291
Tell him all about
the potential appreciation.
715
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,669
Then guide him
through every nook and cranny.
716
00:38:58,794 --> 00:39:02,965
Slowly unveil everything
from the balcony to the basement.
717
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:04,425
One area at a time.
718
00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:06,635
When he's so enthralled,
he's ready to burst,
719
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:09,597
you... clinch the deal!
720
00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:11,807
(Groans) Ow!
721
00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:14,935
You'll be sorry!
You'll never sell this place without me!
722
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:19,523
Just because this house is up for grabs
doesn't mean I am!
723
00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:21,317
(Growls, barks)
724
00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:23,235
Ah! Get this dog off!
725
00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,196
Ah!
726
00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:29,158
Get back! Get outta here!
727
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:55,351
(Phone rings)
728
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,902
"Calm down, Manny", she says!
729
00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:06,946
I've got the Flamingo
breathing down my neck
730
00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:10,574
to cough up the dough
and you're telling me to calm down?
731
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:12,952
I told ya,
I'll come up with the money.
732
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:16,872
Heck, I was just... six inches
from selling this house today.
733
00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:21,293
Look, kid, you better get that money
here pronto or you're through.
734
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,420
Do you hear me?
735
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:25,923
The only showroom you'll see in Vegas
will have Toyotas in it.
736
00:40:26,048 --> 00:40:27,508
(Hangs up)
737
00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,471
(♪ WASHINGTON: "Town Without Pity")
738
00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:41,063
And now I understand
she is out looking for a job?
739
00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:45,151
♪ When you're young
and so in love as we...
740
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,111
(Voices in fast-forward)
741
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:51,949
♪ And bewildered
by the world we see...
742
00:40:52,074 --> 00:40:53,951
- (Engine starts)
- Let's go.
743
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,579
♪ How can people hurt us so
744
00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:59,665
♪ Only those in love
would know
745
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:04,462
♪ What a town without pity
can do
746
00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:09,967
♪ If we stop to gaze upon a star
747
00:41:11,552 --> 00:41:16,015
♪ People talk
about how bad we are...
748
00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:19,852
There's no book upstairs,
but I found these panties.
749
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,979
Try one. They're edible.
750
00:41:24,523 --> 00:41:26,400
(Mutters)
751
00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:29,737
Now, keep looking'!
752
00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:32,823
(Gonk growls)
753
00:41:32,948 --> 00:41:35,618
(Pants, barks)
754
00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:41,916
- Huh!
- (Growls)
755
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:43,959
(Billy) Hey, up!
756
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:47,379
(Snarls)
757
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:50,007
Excuses, excuses.
758
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:54,261
- We turned the place inside out.
- Yeah, and tell him about the dog.
759
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:57,806
Well, it must have been the size
of a water buffalo.
760
00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,266
(Shouts) Quiet!
761
00:42:01,143 --> 00:42:03,145
Now, listen to me very carefully.
762
00:42:03,270 --> 00:42:06,815
Go to the courthouse and remove
all the records of the town ordinances
763
00:42:06,941 --> 00:42:08,567
and bring them back to me.
764
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:10,110
Do you understand?
765
00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:11,570
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
766
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:13,155
Then get out!
767
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,664
- (Whimpers)
- Come here, dummy.
768
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:24,250
(Door opens, closes)
769
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,751
(Voices in fast-forward)
770
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:30,381
♪ Can be real,
a town without pity...
771
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,132
Oh.
772
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,592
(Horn honks, tyres screeching)
773
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:37,888
♪ Can do ♪
774
00:42:43,143 --> 00:42:44,478
Ow!
775
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:47,940
Oh, my gosh! Elvira, I'm sorry.
776
00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:50,985
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I think so.
777
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:54,154
- How's your head?
- I haven't had any complaints yet.
778
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,698
Excuse me?
779
00:42:56,782 --> 00:43:01,370
Oh, I'll live. Believe me, it's not the
worst thing that's happened to me today.
780
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,164
I mean, every place in this town
and no one will give me a job!
781
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:07,543
It's... it's like it's a conspiracy
or something.
782
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,297
You know what your problem is?
Chastity Pariah.
783
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,591
(Gasps) Ooh, I thought
that cleared up.
784
00:43:13,716 --> 00:43:16,552
No! Chastity Pariah.
She's the old biddy.
785
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,596
She's got the whole town
turned against you.
786
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:20,055
Oh, swell !
787
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:22,808
So now no one will hire me
and I'm flat busted!
788
00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:27,229
Uh, no, I mean I'm broke. (Sighs)
789
00:43:27,354 --> 00:43:28,689
I'd hire you if I could,
790
00:43:28,814 --> 00:43:31,483
but I'm barely make enough money
to stay in business as it is.
791
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,319
Duh! I'm not surprised.
792
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,488
I mean, who wants to pay
to see some quack making duck calls?
793
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:40,784
And, besides that, Bob,
you got an extra "E " in "matinee".
794
00:43:40,909 --> 00:43:43,245
No, I don't. That's how you spell it.
795
00:43:43,370 --> 00:43:47,166
Uh, Bob, I'm in show business.
I think I know how to spell "matinee”.
796
00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:51,462
- Well, I think it's a good idea.
- Mm.
797
00:43:57,343 --> 00:43:58,677
(Gasps)
798
00:44:00,429 --> 00:44:02,014
(Groans)
799
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,641
(Screams)
800
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,108
Oh, Bob, how can I ever repay you?
801
00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:14,943
Here. Let me try.
802
00:44:16,737 --> 00:44:18,364
- That witch!
- (Engine starts)
803
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,948
(Tyres screeching)
804
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:29,958
I-I guess I better get back to work.
805
00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:31,669
Uh, the matinee's gonna start soon.
806
00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:35,047
Mm. Oh, yeah.
I can see the crowds lining up now.
807
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:39,385
Bobby, baby, you are gonna go broke
showing turkeys like these.
808
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,554
You gotta a better idea?
809
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:47,768
(Scoffs) It just so happens that I have
some of the classic films of all time
810
00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:49,812
in the trunk of my car.
811
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:52,981
As a matter of fact...
812
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:41,321
(Speaks in paranormal language)
813
00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:44,908
He who holds the book of sight,
814
00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:48,203
when the moon is drained
of all its light,
815
00:45:48,328 --> 00:45:50,539
will then be ruler of the night,
816
00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:53,208
Master of the Dark!
817
00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:57,296
The lunar eclipse, Morgan a.
818
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:00,257
It's less than a week away.
819
00:46:00,841 --> 00:46:05,137
When the moon
Is drained of all its light...
820
00:46:07,973 --> 00:46:09,558
(Rattling)
821
00:46:10,350 --> 00:46:13,061
There is nothing you can do!
822
00:46:13,937 --> 00:46:16,899
You're dead and I'm not!
823
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,026
(Cackles)
824
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:34,833
Oh! There you are!
825
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,752
I have been looking all over
for you guys.
826
00:46:36,877 --> 00:46:39,379
You are not gonna believe
the good news.
827
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:43,967
Yours truly is hosting a special
midnight screening at Bob's theater
828
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:46,178
of one of the worst movies
ever made!
829
00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,597
I mean, it is bad.
830
00:46:49,515 --> 00:46:55,270
You know, like bad as in bad!
Like, "I'm bad, Jamal, you know it."
831
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:59,858
Hey, what is this?
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers"?
832
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,777
Two days ago
we were bosom buddies.
833
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:03,237
(Robin) It's the principal.
834
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:06,406
Darn right it's the principle.
Friends ought to stick together.
835
00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:09,034
No. I mean, the principal, Mr Cobb.
836
00:47:09,159 --> 00:47:11,203
(Randy) He'd kill us
if we went to your show.
837
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:12,788
Not to mention our parents.
838
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:14,832
Kill your parents too?
839
00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,918
No, our parents would never
let us stay out that late.
840
00:47:18,877 --> 00:47:20,963
Oh. Hmm. I see.
841
00:47:22,130 --> 00:47:26,218
Well, the last thing I wanna do
Is get you guys in any trouble.
842
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:31,014
I mean, so what if it blows
my only chance at making a living?
843
00:47:32,015 --> 00:47:33,809
I mean, that's not your problem.
Hmm.
844
00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:36,645
And if I get so depressed,
845
00:47:36,770 --> 00:47:40,107
...wind up hanging myself
in the oven?
846
00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:43,485
Heck! Those are the breaks.
847
00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:48,240
But if they ever ask about me,
848
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,951
tell 'em I was more
than just a great set of boobs.
849
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:54,496
I was also an incredible pair of legs.
850
00:47:55,914 --> 00:47:58,834
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that I never turned down a friend.
851
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:03,171
I... never turned down a stranger,
for that matter.
852
00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:07,134
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that when all is said and done,
853
00:48:07,259 --> 00:48:11,179
I only ask that people
remember me by two simple words.
854
00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:17,394
Any two, as... long as they're simple.
855
00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,063
(Pretends to sob)
856
00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:27,738
If we all decide to help Elvira,
what can Cobb do?
857
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:29,615
He can expel us all.
858
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:34,119
I do not know about rest of you,
but I'll be there.
859
00:48:34,244 --> 00:48:36,246
(Elvira walls)
860
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:41,126
- Me too.
- Count on me.
861
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,880
- We're sorry, Elvira.
- (Wails)
862
00:48:45,005 --> 00:48:46,548
We'll all come to your show.
863
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:48,634
(Stops wailing)
864
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:52,721
Great. 12 o'clock sharp.
Be there or be square.
865
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:57,434
(Indistinct chatter)
866
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,356
Shh.
867
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,212
(Exhales)
868
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:28,382
(Grunts)
869
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:34,930
(Grunts)
870
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:54,449
(Ripping)
871
00:50:19,933 --> 00:50:21,351
Oh, that looks great!
872
00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:22,811
- You really like it?
- Yeah.
873
00:50:22,936 --> 00:50:25,564
- Elvira, where do you want this?
- Um, just right up there.
874
00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,733
- OK.
- What's the bucket for?
875
00:50:27,858 --> 00:50:30,694
I tell you, oh, it's so cool!
876
00:50:30,819 --> 00:50:32,821
This is the part
that I ripped off, uh, um...
877
00:50:32,946 --> 00:50:34,906
Was in inspired by "Flash dance".
878
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,909
I reach up, I pull this rope
879
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:42,622
and my entire body
Is covered in gold glitter!
880
00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:44,708
- Couldn't you die?
- All right!
881
00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,878
Oh, Bob, I'm telling you,
it's a guaranteed standing ovulation.
882
00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,678
(Bell dings)
883
00:51:05,812 --> 00:51:07,564
(Overlapping chatter)
884
00:51:11,276 --> 00:51:12,903
(Laughter)
885
00:51:16,656 --> 00:51:17,991
You're late.
886
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:21,161
(Elvira) When the guy gets purée.
887
00:51:22,662 --> 00:51:23,997
Don't worry. They're Italian.
888
00:51:24,122 --> 00:51:26,333
They'll wind up making
a great marinara sauce.
889
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:28,460
(Laughter, overlapping chatter)
890
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:34,257
Robin?
891
00:51:36,551 --> 00:51:38,303
Is that you?
892
00:51:39,554 --> 00:51:40,889
Man!
893
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,892
Oh, this is where the heroine
gets grabbed by the tomatoes!
894
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:45,060
I can't watch!
895
00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:02,285
(Screams)
896
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,124
(Raucous laughter)
897
00:52:12,379 --> 00:52:13,755
(Chuckles)
898
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,423
Boy, this ending's so bad,
899
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:18,468
the tomatoes ought to start
throwing rotten people at the screen.
900
00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:23,348
(Crowd cheers, whoops, whistles)
901
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:33,024
Hey, darlings, don't move
because the best is yet to come.
902
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:37,487
Ladies and Dobermans,
it's time for the grand finale!
903
00:52:38,989 --> 00:52:40,907
(♪ RICK GERSHAWV: "Maniac")
904
00:52:51,209 --> 00:52:54,171
♪ Just a steel town girl
on a Saturday night
905
00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:56,756
♪ Looking' for the fight of her life
906
00:52:57,549 --> 00:53:00,385
♪ In the real-time world
no one sees her at all
907
00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:03,180
♪ They all say she's crazy
908
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:06,224
♪ Locking rhythms
to the beat of her heart
909
00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:09,060
♪ Changing movement into light
910
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:12,772
♪ She has danced
into the danger zone
911
00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:15,025
♪ When the dancer
becomes a dance
912
00:53:16,818 --> 00:53:18,987
♪ It can cut you like a knife
913
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:22,824
♪ If the gift becomes the fire
914
00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:27,704
♪ On a wire between will
and what will be
915
00:53:27,829 --> 00:53:32,667
♪ She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor... ♪
916
00:53:32,792 --> 00:53:34,127
(Gasps)
917
00:53:34,252 --> 00:53:36,880
(Groans, exhales)
918
00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:43,428
(Grunts, splutters)
919
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:47,807
- (Cackles)
- (Elvira) Patty! Ugh!
920
00:53:49,142 --> 00:53:50,477
(Exhales deeply)
921
00:53:55,941 --> 00:53:59,236
Ugh, I have never been
so humiliated in my entire life!
922
00:53:59,819 --> 00:54:03,740
Huh... Just wait
until I get my hands on that Patty.
923
00:54:03,865 --> 00:54:08,495
I am gonna rip every single
bleach-blonde hair out of her scalp
924
00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:11,539
gouge out her eyeballs
and use her head for a bowling ball!
925
00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:15,085
I'm telling you,
they are not gonna get away with it!
926
00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:18,213
That, that barf man Chastity
blacklisting me out of a job
927
00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:20,882
and that, that sleazoid
of a high-school principal
928
00:54:21,007 --> 00:54:22,759
turning all the kids against me.
929
00:54:22,884 --> 00:54:28,306
And that bench-sniff in' real estate leach,
trying to get his commission in the sack!
930
00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:32,435
I'll get even with every one of 'em,
if it's the last thing I do!
931
00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:38,108
(Sniffs)
932
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:42,570
- What's that perfume your wearing?
- Super unleaded.
933
00:54:43,029 --> 00:54:44,406
Don't smoke.
934
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:50,745
(Drink fizzes)
935
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:53,206
Well, here's to my big opening!
936
00:54:53,331 --> 00:54:55,375
- (Chuckles)
- I mean...
937
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:58,086
(Sighs) Forget it.
938
00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:04,759
(Gasps) Uh...
939
00:55:05,218 --> 00:55:07,345
Don't you kids think
it's past your bed time? Hmm.
940
00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:09,306
Oh, heck, no.
I'm not tired... Ouch.
941
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:11,474
(Chuckles) It is getting awfully late.
942
00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:14,936
Uh, yeah. We better be going.
943
00:55:15,061 --> 00:55:17,480
(Clicks tongue) Yep.
Well, see you dudes tomorrow.
944
00:55:17,605 --> 00:55:19,024
(Chuckles)
945
00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:21,401
(I Music on TV)
946
00:55:32,871 --> 00:55:34,289
(Exhales)
947
00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:54,601
Ow!
948
00:55:58,229 --> 00:56:01,191
There's the darn recipe book!
How did it get under there?
949
00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:02,942
(Whimpers)
950
00:56:05,528 --> 00:56:06,946
(Bob gasps)
951
00:56:07,072 --> 00:56:09,240
Uh, that reminds me. I'm starving.
952
00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:11,326
Mm, me too. Hmm.
953
00:56:12,285 --> 00:56:14,037
Uh, let's go get something' to eat.
954
00:56:14,162 --> 00:56:15,997
There's an all-night truck stop
on the interstate.
955
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:19,084
No, no, no, no, Bob.
956
00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:20,710
I've got a better idea.
957
00:56:20,835 --> 00:56:22,879
Why don't you set the table,
958
00:56:23,004 --> 00:56:26,508
while I see what I can whip up
in the kitchen?
959
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,762
(Sighs)
960
00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:35,100
My aunt sure had lousy penmanship.
961
00:56:36,017 --> 00:56:37,602
I can't read a word of this stuff.
962
00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:41,564
It looks like it was written
in some foreign language or something'.
963
00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:45,819
Hm. Hm, hm.
Hey, wait. Look at this.
964
00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:47,612
- "Adraka Kazorol".
- (Growls)
965
00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:51,449
Kazorol... Oh, casserole!
966
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:53,034
Mm, that sounds good.
967
00:56:53,159 --> 00:56:55,036
OK. Let's see.
What does it say here?
968
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:58,248
"One edrazeba."
969
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,501
Huh. Wonder where she keeps
edrazeba around here.
970
00:57:02,335 --> 00:57:03,962
(Gonk growls, yaps)
971
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:11,052
Wow! This is some spice rack.
972
00:57:13,054 --> 00:57:14,472
Tramazol .
973
00:57:15,140 --> 00:57:16,808
Folemgra. Kuderox.
974
00:57:17,475 --> 00:57:20,603
Oh! Here it is! edrazeba.
975
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,734
Hm, hm.
976
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:28,903
One edrazeba.
977
00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:36,202
OK! One half Folemgra.
978
00:57:36,327 --> 00:57:37,745
Oh...
979
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:41,958
Whoa !!
Looks like the Folemgra went bad.
980
00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:46,045
I don't know, it says it's good
until June of next year.
981
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:49,632
What the heck!
I got a cast-iron stomach.
982
00:57:49,757 --> 00:57:51,801
OK, then. Let's see.
983
00:57:51,926 --> 00:57:55,597
Two to three guletra. guletra...
984
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,098
La, la...
985
00:57:57,223 --> 00:58:00,351
Uh, let's see. One Kuderox.
986
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,520
Kuderox. Where could it be?
987
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:04,731
(Bubbles)
988
00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:10,862
(Sniffs) Mm.
989
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,322
It doesn't smell too bad.
990
00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:14,866
But it looks like kaka-doodoo.
991
00:58:24,834 --> 00:58:26,461
(Hums)
992
00:58:42,268 --> 00:58:44,103
There! That's much better.
993
00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:49,150
(Hums)
994
00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:53,029
It's soup!
995
00:58:56,991 --> 00:58:59,410
Mmm. Smells great. What is it?
996
00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:02,080
Oh, just a little something
I conjured up.
997
00:59:02,747 --> 00:59:04,082
- (Clears throat)
- Oh.
998
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:10,213
- Allow me.
- (Chuckles) Thank you ever so.
999
00:59:13,258 --> 00:59:15,760
Well, I hope you're hungry. (Chuckles)
1000
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:17,845
Cos here's dinner!
1001
00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:20,181
(Elvira screams)
1002
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:23,142
(Screams)
1003
00:59:26,020 --> 00:59:28,064
(Both screaming)
1004
00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:50,086
(Bob) Ugh!
1005
00:59:52,255 --> 00:59:54,882
- (Squeals, hisses)
- Get out!
1006
00:59:55,008 --> 00:59:56,718
(Grunts) Ugh!
1007
00:59:57,635 --> 00:59:58,845
Out, out!
1008
00:59:59,470 --> 01:00:00,972
The switch! Bob, the switch!
1009
01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:07,270
Eew!
1010
01:00:13,192 --> 01:00:15,028
- Eew!
- (Exhales, pants)
1011
01:00:17,739 --> 01:00:20,366
First time I was ever an appetizer
for the main course.
1012
01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:21,951
Where'd you learn how to cook?
1013
01:00:22,076 --> 01:00:25,038
I didn't. I just followed the directions
in my aunt's...
1014
01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:27,540
Gonk, what are you doing?
Gimme that cookbook!
1015
01:00:32,337 --> 01:00:34,130
Gonk? Gonk!
1016
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:38,718
Gonk, you get back here right now
or you are grounded for one week.
1017
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:40,970
Gonk!
1018
01:00:41,095 --> 01:00:42,722
- Oh!
- Gonk, come here!
1019
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,099
(Gasps)
1020
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:49,937
Déjà vu.
1021
01:00:58,404 --> 01:00:59,781
Wow.
1022
01:01:00,531 --> 01:01:02,325
Gonk?
1023
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:03,993
Gonk, are you in here?
1024
01:01:09,165 --> 01:01:10,291
(Barks)
1025
01:01:10,416 --> 01:01:14,087
Gonk, you are very bad, bad dog.
1026
01:01:16,047 --> 01:01:18,508
Oh, yuck!
He's slobbered all over it.
1027
01:01:19,634 --> 01:01:21,302
(Barks)
1028
01:01:21,427 --> 01:01:23,054
- Now what do you want?
- (Whimpers)
1029
01:01:24,138 --> 01:01:25,556
(Growls)
1030
01:01:28,559 --> 01:01:30,311
I think he wants you
to open the trunk.
1031
01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:33,022
(Tuts) Well, why didn't you just say so?
1032
01:01:40,905 --> 01:01:43,157
Wow! Look at all this cool junk!
1033
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:47,203
- This could be you, Gonk.
- (Growls)
1034
01:01:49,288 --> 01:01:51,666
Eew! I think I used go out with this guy.
1035
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:00,299
(Bob) Hey, look at this.
1036
01:02:02,176 --> 01:02:03,803
Think it's for me?
1037
01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:05,930
Go ahead. Open it.
1038
01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:08,266
Uh-uh. You open it.
1039
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,398
"Dearest, Elvira.
1040
01:02:15,523 --> 01:02:18,192
"For all these years
I protected you from the truth,
1041
01:02:18,317 --> 01:02:23,030
"but the time has now come
when your only protection is the truth.”
1042
01:02:23,614 --> 01:02:24,949
Say what?
1043
01:02:25,658 --> 01:02:26,993
Let me see this.
1044
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:31,080
"Your mother, Devan a,
1045
01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:32,874
"was an extraordinary woman.
1046
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:35,460
"She was the true Mistress of the Dark.
1047
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:38,254
"But her power
did not go unchallenged."
1048
01:02:38,379 --> 01:02:42,467
(Morgan a) 'For 300 years
your great-uncle Vincent
1049
01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:44,260
'coveted her dominion.'
1050
01:02:45,636 --> 01:02:47,013
(Elvira) 300?
1051
01:02:47,138 --> 01:02:49,182
God, I hope I look that good
when I'm that old.
1052
01:02:50,266 --> 01:02:52,310
(Morgan a) 'He would have
destroyed you, as he did her,
1053
01:02:52,435 --> 01:02:54,520
'had I not sent you away.
1054
01:02:54,645 --> 01:02:57,523
'I left you with all the power
you would need to protect yourself
1055
01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,484
"and entrusted you
to my loyal familiar.'
1056
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,235
(Bob) What's that about a familiar?
1057
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,197
Bob, haven't you ever seen
any old Roger Corman movies?
1058
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:08,409
Every witch has one. They're like a pet
that can change into almost anything.
1059
01:03:08,534 --> 01:03:11,621
Where was 1? Oh, yeah. Um...
1060
01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:14,081
"But it wasn't you alone
that I sought to protect,
1061
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:18,377
"it was the book
that contained your mother's magic."
1062
01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:21,589
(Morgan a) 'Our enemy
is a formidable one.
1063
01:03:21,714 --> 01:03:23,466
'Protect the book, Elvira.
1064
01:03:23,591 --> 01:03:25,760
'And above all keep it from Vincent
1065
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:29,847
'when the moon falls
under the Earth's shadow.
1066
01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:33,768
'Remember, you carry the power
with you.
1067
01:03:35,186 --> 01:03:38,022
"Your loving aunt, Morgan a.'
1068
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,274
Too macabre!
1069
01:03:40,399 --> 01:03:43,486
I knew I was different, but
I didn't think I was quite that different.
1070
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,280
No wonder Vinnie
had such a spaz attack
1071
01:03:46,405 --> 01:03:47,573
when I couldn't find the book!
1072
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:49,992
(Bob) Yeah, you heard
what your aunt said.
1073
01:03:50,117 --> 01:03:51,577
He can't get his hands on it.
1074
01:03:51,702 --> 01:03:53,329
No way he's getting' it now.
1075
01:03:53,454 --> 01:03:57,124
I mean, here I am knocking myself out
to make a living as a horror hostess
1076
01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:01,838
when I'm actually descended from,
like, a major metaphysical celebrity!
1077
01:04:01,963 --> 01:04:03,172
(Exhales)
1078
01:04:03,297 --> 01:04:06,050
Oh, all I have to do
is just find the right spell
1079
01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:08,594
and I can make the money
I need for Vegas.
1080
01:04:08,719 --> 01:04:10,930
I mean, really make the money.
1081
01:04:12,431 --> 01:04:15,184
Uh, I don't think you should go fooling'
with that book again.
1082
01:04:15,309 --> 01:04:18,479
Bob, here it is!
"Selzba Riki Moola!"
1083
01:04:18,604 --> 01:04:21,107
This exactly what I need.
Lots o' Moola.
1084
01:04:22,149 --> 01:04:26,279
OK, OK.
Selzba Riki Moola sheen.
1085
01:04:26,404 --> 01:04:27,822
Hey, Elvira, |-I don't think...
1086
01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:31,284
Pasera floctum kezrah flomel!
1087
01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:32,785
(Rattling)
1088
01:04:32,910 --> 01:04:35,580
It's, it's working, Bob!
It's, it's working!
1089
01:04:40,334 --> 01:04:42,837
- Bob, are you still here?
- Right here!
1090
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:51,512
What is this?
1091
01:04:53,347 --> 01:04:56,392
(Gasps) Oh. Why, Bob!
1092
01:04:57,226 --> 01:04:58,561
(Chuckles)
1093
01:04:58,686 --> 01:05:01,105
You know, Bob, I may be wrong,
1094
01:05:01,230 --> 01:05:03,733
but I think
that might have been a love spell.
1095
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:05,735
Really?
1096
01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:08,195
Oh, Bob!
1097
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:09,947
- (Lighter clicks)
- Bob.
1098
01:05:10,072 --> 01:05:11,908
(Moans)
1099
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:15,077
(Screams)
1100
01:05:15,202 --> 01:05:17,038
(Yelps, grunts)
1101
01:05:23,002 --> 01:05:25,713
Hold me, Bob. Hold me.
1102
01:05:32,929 --> 01:05:34,931
(I Brass band plays)
1103
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:37,058
(Overlapping chatter)
1104
01:05:48,069 --> 01:05:49,528
Stand up. Up.
1105
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:54,492
Chastity, the picnic's a great success.
1106
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:58,120
Yes, I think it's something
we can all be proud of.
1107
01:06:02,458 --> 01:06:03,834
(Crowd cheers)
1108
01:06:06,003 --> 01:06:08,297
- (Bell rings)
-(Chastity) Come and get it.
1109
01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:12,635
Ooh. Now, you children,
you're acting like wild animals.
1110
01:06:13,260 --> 01:06:14,595
Get to the end of the line now.
1111
01:06:16,931 --> 01:06:18,599
(Woman) It all looks so good!
1112
01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:21,102
I can't remember
when I've been this hungry.
1113
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:23,980
- (Melody) Mmm...
- Ooh, Melody.
1114
01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:27,400
I see you've made
your famous Tic Tac pie.
1115
01:06:33,406 --> 01:06:35,700
(Yelps) Bob, what are you doing?
1116
01:06:35,825 --> 01:06:38,202
- You scared the hell out of me !
- What's going on?
1117
01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:42,331
(Chuckles) Let's just say
I'm settling the score.
1118
01:06:42,456 --> 01:06:43,958
(Bob) Oh, no!
1119
01:06:44,083 --> 01:06:45,835
Well, it is a pot luck.
1120
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,378
And when they open that pot
1121
01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:49,338
they're gonna need
all the luck they can get.
1122
01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:54,051
Oh, I don't believe
I've had any of this.
1123
01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:56,929
Revenge is better than Christmas.
1124
01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:05,062
I don't get it. What happened?
1125
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,357
Looks like some sort of casserole.
1126
01:07:11,402 --> 01:07:13,070
(Smacks lips) Mmm.
1127
01:07:13,195 --> 01:07:15,656
Ooh! This is marvelous.
1128
01:07:15,781 --> 01:07:18,451
I must get this recipe. Mmm!
1129
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:26,125
Oh, shoot!
I must've screwed it up
1130
01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:29,170
when I substituted the falengra
with some Hamburger Helper.
1131
01:07:30,254 --> 01:07:32,381
Oh, yes.
Thank you for my drink.
1132
01:07:32,506 --> 01:07:33,924
There.
1133
01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:36,677
Ah! Ooh.
1134
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:39,221
Mmm.
1135
01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:43,184
Mmm.
1136
01:07:44,977 --> 01:07:46,896
Mmm-mmm.
1137
01:07:52,276 --> 01:07:53,611
(Chuckles)
1138
01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,575
(Chuckles)
1139
01:08:00,618 --> 01:08:02,036
I feel a little odd.
1140
01:08:05,414 --> 01:08:07,124
Suddenly it's very warm.
1141
01:08:07,249 --> 01:08:09,251
(& JOANNA ST. CLAIRE:
"I Put A Spell On You")
1142
01:08:11,504 --> 01:08:15,132
♪ I put a spell on you...
1143
01:08:19,303 --> 01:08:21,013
Remind you of anything?
1144
01:08:21,138 --> 01:08:23,516
♪ Because you're mine...
1145
01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:25,559
Remind you of anything?
1146
01:08:28,312 --> 01:08:30,022
(Chuckles)
1147
01:08:30,147 --> 01:08:31,565
Mmm.
1148
01:08:31,690 --> 01:08:33,400
Give me that! It's mine!
1149
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:34,860
- Hm.
- All mine.
1150
01:08:34,985 --> 01:08:37,613
Oh, darling. Ooh.
1151
01:08:41,951 --> 01:08:43,828
Mmm. Mmm.
1152
01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:48,707
Oh, boy, am I a horn dog?
1153
01:08:50,876 --> 01:08:55,714
♪ Because you're mine... ♪
1154
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,299
Excuse me.
1155
01:08:57,424 --> 01:08:59,385
Is this space taken?
1156
01:09:02,388 --> 01:09:03,722
(Gasps)
1157
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,650
(Chuckles)
1158
01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:17,778
Come on, stud. Let's boogie.
1159
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,572
Bob... (Sighs)
1160
01:09:28,664 --> 01:09:31,458
Hey! Let's mambo!
1161
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:40,009
(Overlapping chatter and laughter)
1162
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:43,429
- Charge!
- (Chuckles)
1163
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:49,226
- That's an interesting dish.
- (Gasps)
1164
01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:51,770
Where did you learn how to make it?
1165
01:09:52,646 --> 01:09:54,481
Oh, it's just a old family recipe.
1166
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:57,359
(Vincent) All right.
1167
01:09:57,484 --> 01:10:01,197
I'll give you 500 dollars
for the book.
1168
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,325
What, do I look
like I just fell off the tuna truck?
1169
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:06,493
The deal's off, Uncle!
1170
01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:08,579
You think you're pretty clever,
don't you?
1171
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:11,332
- Mm.
- Well, mark my words,
1172
01:10:11,457 --> 01:10:14,460
I'll get you and your little dog too!
1173
01:10:15,169 --> 01:10:16,503
Ugh.
1174
01:10:20,049 --> 01:10:21,383
(Whispers) Help.
1175
01:10:26,263 --> 01:10:27,890
No!
1176
01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,934
Oh, you again?
1177
01:10:30,601 --> 01:10:32,728
Do you always wear
the same dress?
1178
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:36,607
No. Sometimes I like to wear
something' low-cut and sexy.
1179
01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:38,317
Huh.
1180
01:10:38,442 --> 01:10:41,987
Well, I guess in your business
it pays to advertise.
1181
01:10:42,112 --> 01:10:44,031
(Yelps, grunts)
1182
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:47,576
Come here, Bob.
Let me show you how a real woman does it.
1183
01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:49,703
Mmm-mmm.
1184
01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:51,163
Excuse me!
1185
01:10:52,873 --> 01:10:54,291
(Crowd gasps)
1186
01:10:58,504 --> 01:11:00,130
- (Grunts)
- (Crowd laughs)
1187
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:07,680
(Chastity) You all saw it!
1188
01:11:07,805 --> 01:11:10,266
He attacked me in broad daylight
and he had his way with me!
1189
01:11:10,391 --> 01:11:13,060
Me? I barely got away
with my life.
1190
01:11:13,185 --> 01:11:15,813
You could have worn out
a mechanical bull!
1191
01:11:15,938 --> 01:11:18,440
Ooh! You're not gonna
get away with this,
1192
01:11:18,565 --> 01:11:20,150
you sex-addled maniac!
1193
01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,695
I demand that the council
remove this pervert!
1194
01:11:22,820 --> 01:11:26,115
I never laid a hand on those sheep,
so help me.
1195
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,285
Calvin was the one who was
painting everybody with apple butter.
1196
01:11:29,410 --> 01:11:31,537
I was just an innocent on-ticker.
1197
01:11:31,662 --> 01:11:33,664
(Overlapping chatter)
1198
01:11:35,249 --> 01:11:36,583
(Yells) Silence!
1199
01:11:39,336 --> 01:11:40,671
Don't you see?
1200
01:11:42,464 --> 01:11:45,968
You're playing right into her hands.
1201
01:11:46,635 --> 01:11:50,431
It's Elvira
who is responsible for all this.
1202
01:11:50,556 --> 01:11:53,309
Of course. I should have known
it was that little harlot.
1203
01:11:53,434 --> 01:11:57,146
We ought to ride her
out of town on a big fat rail.
1204
01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:59,231
She might enjoy that too much.
1205
01:11:59,982 --> 01:12:02,651
There is a much more
satisfactory solution.
1206
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:07,489
We can have her arrested.
1207
01:12:07,614 --> 01:12:09,742
Arrested? On what charges?
1208
01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:12,911
It's so happens
that there is a law on the books
1209
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,205
that dates back to the Salem trials.
1210
01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:18,751
It's specifically forbids and I quote,
1211
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:24,089
"Any town's person from practicing
the ancient arts of spell casting,
1212
01:12:24,673 --> 01:12:29,636
"demonology, alchemy
and conjuration.”
1213
01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:35,309
The charge,
my fellow council members, is...
1214
01:12:37,144 --> 01:12:38,812
...witchcraft.
1215
01:12:38,937 --> 01:12:41,190
(Gasping, muttering)
1216
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,275
(Clanking)
1217
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:45,444
Let me outta here!
Let me outta here!
1218
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:47,112
Pipe down in there!
1219
01:12:47,237 --> 01:12:49,156
Hey, I've seen the "People's Court".
1220
01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:51,784
I'm entitled to one phone call
and a strip search.
1221
01:12:52,493 --> 01:12:54,703
Well, there's a payphone
right across the street.
1222
01:12:54,828 --> 01:12:57,790
What's the matter?
You forget where you put your broom?
1223
01:12:57,915 --> 01:13:01,668
Listen, fatso, if I had a broom,
I know exactly where I'd put it!
1224
01:13:01,794 --> 01:13:03,045
(Grunts)
1225
01:13:05,422 --> 01:13:07,883
Oh, this is swell !
I can just hear Manny now.
1226
01:13:08,509 --> 01:13:11,512
"Hello, Vegas! We got a slight crimp
in the plans for the show.
1227
01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:13,680
"Yeah, the star was burned
at the stake.”
1228
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:16,183
Elvira... great news.
1229
01:13:16,308 --> 01:13:19,728
I got you the best lawyer in the county.
He'll be here first thing in the morning.
1230
01:13:19,853 --> 01:13:22,147
(Sighs) Bob, in the morning?
1231
01:13:22,272 --> 01:13:25,067
First thing in the morning
I'll be able to fit in an ashtray!
1232
01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:28,278
- You gotta get me outta here.
- But how?
1233
01:13:29,238 --> 01:13:31,323
The book! It's my only chance.
1234
01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:33,450
- Quick! Run to the house and get it!
- OK.
1235
01:13:33,909 --> 01:13:35,327
Oh, and, Bob, wait!
1236
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:37,371
What?
1237
01:13:37,496 --> 01:13:39,873
I hid it under the floorboard
in the living room.
1238
01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:40,999
OK.
1239
01:13:41,125 --> 01:13:43,252
Oh, and, Bob...
1240
01:13:44,503 --> 01:13:46,380
- What?
- Hurry!
1241
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:54,847
(Robin) Hey, move!
1242
01:13:54,972 --> 01:13:56,473
Get down low.
1243
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:01,854
(Overlapping chatter)
1244
01:14:04,731 --> 01:14:06,316
(Saw whirs)
1245
01:14:08,193 --> 01:14:09,570
Now.
1246
01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,449
(Drill whirs)
1247
01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:14,908
(Whines)
1248
01:14:15,033 --> 01:14:17,870
What are you whining about?
I'm the one getting barbecued.
1249
01:14:18,787 --> 01:14:20,122
(Barks)
1250
01:14:20,247 --> 01:14:21,748
(Indistinct chatter)
1251
01:14:25,878 --> 01:14:27,546
(Snarls)
1252
01:14:27,671 --> 01:14:29,590
Oh. Sorry.
1253
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:32,009
(Growls)
1254
01:14:43,228 --> 01:14:44,897
(Glass shatters)
1255
01:14:46,732 --> 01:14:48,901
At last it's mine.
1256
01:14:49,026 --> 01:14:51,403
The power is mine!
1257
01:14:54,948 --> 01:14:56,325
(Growls, barks)
1258
01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:02,206
Gonk, don't have a conniption fit.
1259
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:03,749
(Barks)
1260
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,467
(Squeaks)
1261
01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:16,553
Whoa. It must have done
too much antacid in the '60s.
1262
01:15:18,305 --> 01:15:22,226
Four, six, eight,
who do we incinerate?
1263
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:25,729
Elvira! Elvira! Elvira!
1264
01:15:25,854 --> 01:15:28,106
(Cheering)
1265
01:15:28,232 --> 01:15:30,234
(Drill whirs)
1266
01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:32,361
(Overlapping shouting)
1267
01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:39,117
Thank goodness, Padre!
1268
01:15:39,243 --> 01:15:40,953
I am here to save you,
my child.
1269
01:15:41,078 --> 01:15:44,206
At last, someone who can
talk some sense into these people.
1270
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:50,379
Lord, save this wretched
creature's soul!
1271
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:56,802
Even though her creamy white flesh
will burn and sizzle.
1272
01:16:05,769 --> 01:16:08,730
Well, isn't that convenient?
1273
01:16:11,942 --> 01:16:13,694
Thanks for trying, you guys.
1274
01:16:14,528 --> 01:16:15,862
(Robin) Elvira !
1275
01:16:18,198 --> 01:16:20,200
(Squeaks)
1276
01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:32,838
Gonk?
1277
01:16:33,630 --> 01:16:35,007
Is that you, boy?
1278
01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:39,303
(Growls)
1279
01:16:42,514 --> 01:16:45,183
- (Barks)
- Good work, Gonk.
1280
01:16:45,309 --> 01:16:49,730
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1281
01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,773
Do you smoke?
1282
01:16:51,898 --> 01:16:53,900
Guess we'll find out soon enough.
1283
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:57,070
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1284
01:16:57,195 --> 01:16:59,031
Out of the way!
1285
01:16:59,156 --> 01:17:03,285
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1286
01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:07,873
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1287
01:17:07,998 --> 01:17:11,376
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1288
01:17:16,506 --> 01:17:18,258
Oh, no!
You're not gonna believe this!
1289
01:17:18,383 --> 01:17:21,136
- I left my oven on. I'll be a minute.
- Oh!
1290
01:17:23,096 --> 01:17:27,267
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1291
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:29,227
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1292
01:17:31,104 --> 01:17:33,190
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1293
01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:35,025
Any last words?
1294
01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:36,485
Uh, just one.
1295
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:38,820
(Yells) Help!
1296
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:43,617
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1297
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:45,160
(Grunts)
1298
01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:48,413
Hold it! Hold it down!
Quiet! Quiet!
1299
01:17:48,538 --> 01:17:50,123
(Crowd falls silent)
1300
01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:55,045
And now by the power
vested in me
1301
01:17:55,170 --> 01:17:57,506
by the sovereign state
of Massachusetts,
1302
01:17:57,631 --> 01:18:02,386
I do hereby pronounce sentence
on Elvira, the prisoner.
1303
01:18:03,261 --> 01:18:05,222
Death by fire!
1304
01:18:08,058 --> 01:18:09,393
Hold it, Sheriff.
1305
01:18:10,602 --> 01:18:12,312
What you're doing is wrong.
1306
01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,855
Patty?
1307
01:18:13,980 --> 01:18:17,484
It'll catch faster,
if you light it in several places.
1308
01:18:19,111 --> 01:18:20,445
Patty, no!
1309
01:18:23,573 --> 01:18:26,201
We ought to have one of these
every year!
1310
01:18:27,077 --> 01:18:29,830
- Burn in hell, witch!
- Patty!
1311
01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:34,960
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1312
01:18:35,085 --> 01:18:38,714
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1313
01:18:43,260 --> 01:18:44,553
Burn her!
1314
01:18:45,345 --> 01:18:48,765
Bye, kids. It's been swell.
1315
01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:50,976
Just send my ashes to Las Vegas.
1316
01:18:51,518 --> 01:18:53,228
Let me through!
1317
01:18:55,147 --> 01:18:56,773
- Elvira!
- Bob!
1318
01:18:57,357 --> 01:18:58,859
(Grunts)
1319
01:18:59,651 --> 01:19:00,986
(Grunts)
1320
01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:04,948
- Hi, Bob.
- Patty...
1321
01:19:06,199 --> 01:19:07,743
You're not a very nice person.
1322
01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:11,246
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1323
01:19:15,041 --> 01:19:16,626
- (Grunts)
- (Barks)
1324
01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:18,128
Gonk?
1325
01:19:18,253 --> 01:19:20,380
(Barks)
1326
01:19:24,259 --> 01:19:28,096
(Morgan a) 'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1327
01:19:32,684 --> 01:19:34,644
- The ring!
- (Barks)
1328
01:19:34,770 --> 01:19:36,563
(Whimpers)
1329
01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,453
(Thunderclap)
1330
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,414
(Crowd shouts)
1331
01:20:11,097 --> 01:20:12,432
Are you all right?
1332
01:20:21,441 --> 01:20:24,402
Look, the lunar eclipse.
1333
01:20:25,487 --> 01:20:27,823
Remember? Your aunt's letter.
1334
01:20:27,948 --> 01:20:30,659
"When the moon falls
under the Earth shadow..."
1335
01:20:31,618 --> 01:20:34,204
- Yeah, so?
- Vincent's got the book!
1336
01:20:40,794 --> 01:20:42,212
(Screaming, thunderclaps)
1337
01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:48,385
Elvira!
1338
01:20:51,429 --> 01:20:54,474
Elvira!
1339
01:20:54,599 --> 01:20:56,434
Gonk! Where is Gonk?
1340
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,978
(Barks)
1341
01:20:58,103 --> 01:20:59,729
(Gasps)
1342
01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,731
You tricky little devil!
1343
01:21:06,027 --> 01:21:07,737
Oh!
1344
01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:11,491
Vincent, remember us?
We're on your side.
1345
01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,660
Swine!
1346
01:21:15,829 --> 01:21:18,290
(Snorting, squealing)
1347
01:21:22,335 --> 01:21:23,670
(Gasps)
1348
01:21:27,632 --> 01:21:29,134
Stay back.
1349
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:36,933
(Chokes, rasps)
1350
01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:38,977
- Sic him, Gonk!
- (Barks, snarls)
1351
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:43,982
- (Grunts)
- (Groans)
1352
01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:47,193
- (Gonk whimpers)
- (Groans)
1353
01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:51,573
Don't make me use this!
1354
01:21:55,201 --> 01:21:56,786
(Chuckles)
1355
01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:59,581
The amulet could not protect
your mother
1356
01:21:59,706 --> 01:22:01,833
and it won't save you.
1357
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:06,296
Kaldozar ipsole.
1358
01:22:10,675 --> 01:22:12,886
Oh. So you wanna play rough, eh?
1359
01:22:13,011 --> 01:22:14,387
Well, take this!
1360
01:22:19,517 --> 01:22:22,562
Huh? What? Uh... (Gasps)
1361
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:46,586
You cannot escape me,
daughter of Devan a.
1362
01:22:46,711 --> 01:22:49,839
I shall destroy you as I did her.
1363
01:23:00,308 --> 01:23:01,768
Are you looking for me?
1364
01:23:06,106 --> 01:23:07,607
(Blows breath)
1365
01:23:09,275 --> 01:23:12,570
Did you think
you could stop me with your toys?
1366
01:23:13,989 --> 01:23:17,033
No, but I figured
it'd be worth a shot. Look!
1367
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:21,621
(Cackles)
1368
01:23:37,137 --> 01:23:38,471
(Grunts)
1369
01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:47,272
(Bar clanks)
1370
01:23:51,901 --> 01:23:53,737
(Thunderclap)
1371
01:24:04,581 --> 01:24:08,626
Cosal Terra! Obtan!
1372
01:24:09,878 --> 01:24:11,588
Sure, that's easy for you to say.
1373
01:24:16,509 --> 01:24:18,887
(Groans)
1374
01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:23,725
(Yells)
1375
01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:28,646
(Yelps)
1376
01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,068
(Vincent groans)
1377
01:24:35,236 --> 01:24:36,738
(Gasps)
1378
01:24:38,656 --> 01:24:42,827
Ooh! That hurts!
1379
01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:51,211
Now, baby.
1380
01:24:52,587 --> 01:24:54,422
(Chuckles)
1381
01:24:55,298 --> 01:24:56,758
Hey.
1382
01:24:57,759 --> 01:25:00,720
We have a little unfinished business.
1383
01:25:01,763 --> 01:25:03,264
Yeah, well, uh...
1384
01:25:03,973 --> 01:25:05,475
I think we could do business, uh...
1385
01:25:06,351 --> 01:25:08,186
Uh, yeah, sure.
I can dig it.
1386
01:25:08,311 --> 01:25:10,355
Uh, I'm cool, bro.
1387
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:13,691
You know, what it is.
Where it's at. Uh...
1388
01:25:13,817 --> 01:25:15,485
I'll show you where it's at.
1389
01:25:15,610 --> 01:25:17,695
(Screams)
1390
01:25:27,288 --> 01:25:29,290
(Clock ticks)
1391
01:25:40,009 --> 01:25:42,053
(Gasps)
1392
01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:46,391
(Grunts)
1393
01:25:46,516 --> 01:25:47,851
(Vincent yells, groans)
1394
01:25:47,976 --> 01:25:49,394
(Pants)
1395
01:25:50,061 --> 01:25:51,729
(Chokes, grunts)
1396
01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:55,733
- (Groans)
- (Screams)
1397
01:25:57,193 --> 01:26:01,781
(Yells) I am Master of the Dark!
1398
01:26:01,906 --> 01:26:05,577
Then I'll see you in hell first.
1399
01:26:13,209 --> 01:26:14,836
(Exhales)
1400
01:26:19,465 --> 01:26:20,967
(Gasps)
1401
01:26:29,726 --> 01:26:31,269
(Groans)
1402
01:26:32,937 --> 01:26:34,397
- (Screams)
- (Fire crackles)
1403
01:26:44,699 --> 01:26:46,075
(Vincent groans)
1404
01:26:50,997 --> 01:26:55,043
And now, Elvira, you die!
1405
01:26:57,378 --> 01:26:59,005
(Groans)
1406
01:27:23,863 --> 01:27:25,198
(Fire crackles)
1407
01:27:26,574 --> 01:27:30,536
(Morgan a) 'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1408
01:27:46,052 --> 01:27:47,470
(Birds chirping)
1409
01:27:50,265 --> 01:27:52,141
(Groans)
1410
01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,310
So what did the insurance guy say?
1411
01:27:56,437 --> 01:27:59,065
My policy doesn't cover
acts of demons.
1412
01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:03,945
Well, at least you still got the ring.
1413
01:28:05,196 --> 01:28:07,991
Yeah, but the only thing
I can get it to do any more is look cheap.
1414
01:28:10,368 --> 01:28:11,703
(Sighs deeply)
1415
01:28:11,828 --> 01:28:13,454
Gosh, Elvira, I'm sorry.
1416
01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:16,457
I know you had your heart set
on playing Las Vegas.
1417
01:28:18,918 --> 01:28:21,421
I'm just not the kind of girl
whose dreams come true.
1418
01:28:22,797 --> 01:28:24,590
I do better on nightmares.
1419
01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:30,930
I wish there was something
I could do.
1420
01:28:31,806 --> 01:28:34,767
(Sniffles) Yeah,
don't worry about me, Bob.
1421
01:28:34,892 --> 01:28:37,687
I'm like fake fruit.
I don't bruise that easy.
1422
01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:39,981
(Overlapping chatter)
1423
01:28:40,106 --> 01:28:41,607
There he is, up there.
1424
01:28:44,861 --> 01:28:46,863
Uh-oh. Here comes the lynch mob.
1425
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:49,073
Hey, take it easy, take it easy.
I'm leaving.
1426
01:28:49,198 --> 01:28:51,617
- We don't want you to go.
- (Crowd) No, no.
1427
01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:53,244
This is our way of saying
1428
01:28:53,369 --> 01:28:55,997
we were wrong about you
and we're sorry.
1429
01:28:56,122 --> 01:28:59,292
Elvira, you're the best thing
that ever happened to our town.
1430
01:28:59,417 --> 01:29:03,338
You've touched a part of my son that...
that nobody's ever touched before.
1431
01:29:03,463 --> 01:29:04,797
I wish.
1432
01:29:04,922 --> 01:29:06,174
(Laughter)
1433
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:10,470
As long as you're in Fall well you will
always have a free room at the Cozy Cot.
1434
01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:12,138
(Crowd) Aw!
1435
01:29:13,139 --> 01:29:15,224
Wait! Just a minute, Leslie!
1436
01:29:15,350 --> 01:29:16,934
Shut up, you old bag.
1437
01:29:17,060 --> 01:29:18,811
(Laughter)
1438
01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:23,066
(Gasps)
1439
01:29:24,359 --> 01:29:25,818
Well, I finally got it running.
1440
01:29:26,986 --> 01:29:28,321
(Chuckles) Great!
1441
01:29:29,614 --> 01:29:31,783
At least now I'll have a place to live.
1442
01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:34,660
But I still don't know
how I'm gonna pay you for it.
1443
01:29:34,786 --> 01:29:37,163
Don't worry.
We'll work out something.
1444
01:29:37,955 --> 01:29:39,290
(Patty) Elvira...
1445
01:29:41,167 --> 01:29:42,835
I'm, uh...
1446
01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:47,382
I'm s ... sorry that I set you on fire
and everything and, uh...
1447
01:29:48,007 --> 01:29:49,759
I hope there no hard feelings.
1448
01:29:50,593 --> 01:29:52,970
Don't worry.
She's bigger than that.
1449
01:29:53,096 --> 01:29:56,599
- Yeah, a lot bigger.
- (Laughter)
1450
01:29:56,724 --> 01:30:00,520
Elvira, I've got some important papers
that you're gonna have to sign.
1451
01:30:00,645 --> 01:30:03,314
With your uncle gone
you're the only heir to his estate.
1452
01:30:04,899 --> 01:30:07,944
-I am?
- Not an inconsiderable one at that.
1453
01:30:09,445 --> 01:30:10,780
Las Vegas!
1454
01:30:10,905 --> 01:30:13,116
Elvira, that's fantastic!
1455
01:30:13,241 --> 01:30:14,700
Las Vegas!
1456
01:30:15,785 --> 01:30:17,328
Las Vegas!
1457
01:30:18,079 --> 01:30:19,414
Las Vegas!
1458
01:30:23,584 --> 01:30:25,795
(Announcer) 'Ladies and gentlemen,
1459
01:30:25,920 --> 01:30:28,423
'The Flamingo Hotel is proud
1460
01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:33,261
'to present
the Mistress of the Dark, Elvira !'
1461
01:30:34,220 --> 01:30:38,057
♪ I've always dreamed of doing this
1462
01:30:38,182 --> 01:30:42,437
♪ And now I've got my chance
1463
01:30:42,562 --> 01:30:46,441
♪ So excuse me
while I indulge myself
1464
01:30:47,150 --> 01:30:53,531
♪ In a little song and dance
1465
01:31:12,175 --> 01:31:14,719
♪ Well, if you're looking for trouble
1466
01:31:16,053 --> 01:31:19,640
♪ Here I am
1467
01:31:19,765 --> 01:31:23,186
♪ And if you wanna see double
1468
01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:27,231
♪ Here I am
1469
01:31:27,356 --> 01:31:31,277
♪ I don't do
what the good girls do
1470
01:31:31,402 --> 01:31:35,448
♪ Bad dreams really do come true
1471
01:31:43,122 --> 01:31:47,877
♪ Here I am
1472
01:31:50,671 --> 01:31:52,548
♪ I'm a bitch in black
so you better stand back
1473
01:31:52,673 --> 01:31:54,217
♪ You might get motion sickness
or a heart attack
1474
01:31:54,342 --> 01:31:56,093
♪ I can really rap up
with the swelling in your pocket
1475
01:31:56,219 --> 01:31:58,054
♪ Make your eyeballs drop
right out of their socket
1476
01:31:58,179 --> 01:31:59,931
♪ I'm rough, I'm tough,
I'm woman enough
1477
01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:01,807
♪ So get ready
I'm gonna do my stuff
1478
01:32:01,933 --> 01:32:03,601
♪ I can take it, I can shake it
I can cook it, I can bake it
1479
01:32:03,726 --> 01:32:05,603
♪ If I don't have the recipe
I'll fake it
1480
01:32:05,728 --> 01:32:07,688
♪ I'm a volcano that's ready to blow
1481
01:32:07,813 --> 01:32:09,982
♪ Look out y'all 'cause here I go J
1482
01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:18,199
(Applause)
1483
01:32:19,742 --> 01:32:21,744
(Crowd cheers, whistles)
1484
01:32:39,887 --> 01:32:41,889
(Crowd cheers)
1485
01:32:43,975 --> 01:32:45,726
(Laughs)
1486
01:32:45,851 --> 01:32:48,271
(Crowd whistles)
1487
01:32:48,396 --> 01:32:50,606
(Barks)
1488
01:33:05,246 --> 01:33:07,290
Yeah! All right!
1489
01:33:09,125 --> 01:33:11,127
(Crowd applauds, cheers, whistles)
1490
01:33:15,423 --> 01:33:16,757
For me? Oh!
1491
01:33:29,937 --> 01:33:32,356
Unpleasant dreams.
1492
01:33:36,193 --> 01:33:38,195
(Crowd applauds, cheers, whistles)
108144
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