All language subtitles for Brian.and.Charles.2022.BR

I was very low.

Things wen:¢ a bit fopsy-z'urvy in my life,

and / put my hand out, / struggled.

But, you know,
I thought to m yse/zf "come on, Brian.

Time to give yourself
a kick up the bottom.

Get busy ”

I just Stan'ed making stufif

in ventions, / guess.

Any little idea / had, I just made.

You know,
stufi' / build isn't for e ve/yone,

but that's all right by me.

Be nice to have an extra pair of hands
around here sometimes

to help out now and
again, but...

You know, bounce ideas ofi'
and play darts, et cetera.

But you can't have everything, can you?

That's just greedy.

This is my home.

Ploxgreen cottage.

The front door.

The next door.

There we have it.

A kitchen.

That's a cabbage bin.

I have a bin specifically for them,

'cause I eat a lot of cabbages.

This is my infamous inventions pantry.

It's actually a cowshed.

Pinecone bag.

It's basically just a plain bag
with pinecones glued onto it.

Ping-pong, picky-pong, ping-pong pie.

This is basically a puzzle I came up with

and tried to sell to selfridges.

A knife.

Eggs.

Green rope.

It's literally just a belt

that you can put eggs in.

It's an egg belt.

Anyone want any butter?

80, turn it on,
it'll suck the air out the helmet.

Tea.

Is this interesting?

I sit here most nights
after a busy day down the village

or in the barn, working in the barn,

and I have my dinner here.

Ah!

So, this is my new project.

It's a cuckoo clock.

It's not your traditional idea
of a cuckoo clock.

I thought I 'd do something
a bit different.

It's a flying cuckoo clock.

So whenever anyone in the village
wants to know the time,

they can look up in the air,
and I'll be there... flying around on it.

"What time is it?

There's Brian. Half 2:00.
There or thereabouts."

Ne ver flown anything before,
so I'm a little bit nervous

about taking this little beauty
up into the blue, blue sky.

You don't try things,
you don't succeed, do you?

You just got to keep trying.

Right, the plan is,
I'm gonna head off down the Lane,

and by the time I reach the end,

I should be hitting 90 miles an hour,
and then I take off into the blue sky

and I head to dummock's hill.

I'm gonna have a spot to eat,
come back and have some tea.

6:00 pm, I should imagine.

Wish me luck.

Come on.

Get back! Get back!

It's on fire!

It's on fire! Get back!

It's on fire!

Get back! Can you not hear me?

They don't always work,

but I tend to learn
from each thing that I build.

And I've got so much going on up here...
Ideas and whatnot...

That it doesn't actually bother me.

On to the next one.

Lid's off one of these, June.

- Oh, crikey.
- Yeah.

- Do you wanna bring it here, then?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Go stale, won't they?
- Yes, they will.

- You can have it, actually, if you like.
- No. No, no, no.

Yes, definitely.

- All right.
- Go on, have it.

- Thank you.
- If you don't mind.

Well, a pot of choccy dunk dunks
and a nanapop.

Okay.

That'll be one pound exactly,
then, please.

- What, for both of them?
- Yep.

Well, I'm not charging you for this one.

Don't worry if you haven't got any money.
You can come anytime.

- Definitely got money.
- Have you?

Yeah.

That's all right.
You don't have to pay me, Brian.

- Come... ah.
- Gotcha.

- Okay.
- Thanks, June.

- Lovely. Thank you very much.
- Oh.

- I'll put that in my pocket.
- Yeah.

- Careful it doesn't all fall out.
- Yeah. See you, June.

- Bnan?
- Yeah?

You've got something caught
on your feet.

- Oh, no, they're meant to be there.
- Oh.

Yeah, I made 'em.

They're trawler nets for shoes.

Oh. Oh.

- Bye.
- Bye, now.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

J” people dancing... p

Fly-t/ppers.

These things
are like a treasure trove to me.

This is fun. That's not bad.

I could have some fun with that.

I was once looking for metal
in one of these piles,

and, uh, I found a metal detector.

Hello.

I'm building a robot.

I don't know why
I didn't think of it before.

Be very, very, very handy.

Strong.

Fast

agile.

Can help me lift things
around the house.

I just take inspiration
from stufi' around me.

You know, anything, absolutely anything.

That could be his ankle.

Hand.

I just look around me, and / go,
”what can / use? What can I use?”

Belly button.

I've always wanted to build one.

It's always been a scratch
I've wanted to itch.

Scratch, scratch, scratch,
like Mr. Williams over there.

I mean, who wouldn't
want to build one, eh?

Who wouldn't want to build one?

Huh? What do they call it?

Artifici... artif... what is it?

Artificial intelligence.

That's it. Artificial intelligence.

- That's it.
- Ai.

-Huh?

- "Eh-ah"? What?
- Ai.

"Eh-ah"? Ai!

- Artificial intelligence.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

Doesn't look too bad, does he?

Not quite what I had in mind, but...

I've learned building a robot
is much like making a cake.

You start off wanting a Victoria sponge.

It comes out like a blancmange.

That's fine, 'cause I love blancmanges.

I wonder what he'll do
when I turn him on.

Ta-da!

I've never done that before.

Well, his spleen's working.

Come on, then.

Activate.

Activate.

Please. Come on.

Please, please, please.

Activate.

Gave it a good go, didn't I?
Unfortunately, didn't work out.

That's life, innit?

Huh?

One door closes, another door opens.
That's what I always say.

And then that door closes
and another door opens.

And then that door closes
and another door opens.

And that door will probably close
at some point,

another one will hopefully open.

And then I imagine,
at some point along the line,

then that door will close,

and hopefully, fingers crossed, another...

Basically, what I'm trying to say
is doors open and close,

and there's no getting away from it.

Come on, Brian. Double 13. Here we go.

Ah, fiddlesticks.

- Hi, Brian.
- Hi, Hazel.

What are you up to?

Shopping.

I'm just going to the chemist
to get some stuff for my mum.

Yeah.

And then I'm gonna put
some rubbish on the bonfire.

Oh. That's good.

- Something to do.
- Yeah.

Think it's gonna be
a big one this year.

Yeah, it'll be a big bonfire, yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I've got to go
'cause I'm really late.

Oh, okay.

- Uh, nice to see you.
- Nice to see you too.

- Bye.
- All the best.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

J” oh, you sexy mama p

j” love you, yes, ldo j”

j” she's his hone yj”

j” and his babyj”

j” she's his... j”

Did you see that?

Did you see that?

Oh.

Oh!

Hey! Hey!

I am absolutely shaking like a leaf.

Put the cabbage down.

I said, "put the cabbage down."

Oh, there! Whoa, there!

No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No. No, no, no.

You're coming into the house.

Yes.

Get in.

In you go. In there.

You sit down. You sit down.
You sit down.

There, there. Don't you move.
Don't you move.

Don't you move.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't you move. Don't you move. Uh-huh.

Stay there. Stay there. Don't go anywhere.

Don't you move.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

You stay there.
You stay there. You stay there.

It's all right. It's all right.
It's all right.

This is incredibly ovennhelming.

Mmm?

What? No.

No.

Good morning.

Good morning.

You all right?

Plant pot.

What?

- What?
- Plant pot.

Plant pot?

Coffee table.

Door. Walls. Ceiling.

Television. Floorboards.

Clock. Cashew nuts. Pen.

Not sure. Picture frame.

Carpet. Curtains. Old potato.

Plugs. Shoes. Plant pot.

How do you know all this stuff?

You've read the dictionary?

Yes, I have.

When?

When you were snoozing.

You were snoozing, and I was reading.

Alexandru.

I beg your pardon?

Your name is Alexandru.

No, my name's not Alexandru.
No, no, no, my name's Brian.

Brian.

- Brian.
- Brian, yeah.

- Brian.
- No, no, you're not Brian.

- No, no, no. No, I'm Brian.
- Brian.

Would you like me to give you a name?

Huh?

Tony?

Ooh, he didn't like "Tony."

Tony the robot?

No? Clive?

What?

Charles?

- Charles.
- Charles?

- Charles.
- Charles. Charles.

- Charles.
- Charles.

Charles. You like "Charles."

Charles petrescu.

You want that name, do you?
Charles petrescu? All right, then.

I am Charles petrescu.

Hello, Brian.

Hello, Charles.

It's lovely to meet you.

Wow.

I am your friend.

I'm your friend too.

My heart's going like the clappers.

I have gray hair
and round spectacles.

There are seven buttons
on my shirt.

I think what happened was
there were two wires in Charles's head

that hadn't connected properly.

So, when I flicked the switch,
they hadn't connected properly.

And what I think happened
while I was out...

Mr. Williams, the mouse, came along,
walked along one of the wires,

and the weight of Mr. Williams
seesawed the wire onto the other wire,

and they connected.

Fired it into life, like a jump start.

Am I making sense?

Come on, then, you.
Watch my mother's Turkish saucer.

- Staircase.
- Out we go.

- Banister.
- Take your time. Don't rush.

- Walls.
- There's a good boy.

That's it.

Oh, look at you.

- Now, Charles, this room...
- Kitchen.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

- Basically, this is where...
- Is where you cook.

Yes. Yeah.

Right.

- Right, what I'll do is I'll put the...
- Put the kettle on?

He's ahead of the game here, isn't he?

Huh? This is marvelous.

Huh? You're a clever boy.

Look at that. Yeah? Cabbages.
You know what they are, don't you?

A vegetable crop
with dense leaved heads.

Cabbage weights will generally range
from 500 to 1,000 grams.

The most common are smooth-leaved,
firm-headed green cabbages,

while smooth-leaved purple cabbages

and crinkle-leaved savoy cabbages
are considerably rarer.

The heaviest cabbage ever found
was 62.71 kilograms.

Under conditions of long, sunny days,
such as those found...

I never thought I'd make anything
as amazing as Charles.

Uh, it's absolutely blown my mind,
to be honest with you.

- You built my body.
- I built his body.

I built his body. It took 72 hours.

And my tummy
is a washing machine.

And his tummy's a washing machine.
That's it. Your tummy's a washing machine.

- Took me 72 hours.
- My name is Charles petrescu.

Charles petrescu.
That's your name, isn't it?

That's your name.

I thought, 24 hours ago,

I was gonna have to
crush you up and scrap you.

Did you know that?

- My name is Charles petrescu.
- Yeah.

Already said that.

Yeah.

- And you built my body.
- And I built your body.

That's it. That's it.

That's it.

Anything else you want to say?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Come on, then. Hold my hand.

Hold my hand. Come on. Through here.

Everything is lovely.

You say that. It's not all lovely.
It's a dangerous world sometimes.

Dangerous: Able or likely
to cause harm or injury.

Perilous.

Perilous. That's a good word,
perilous.

- Can we go swimming, Brian?
- No, no, no, no.

One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.

Okay?

Does it all stop at the tree?

Beg your pardon?

How far does the outside go?

"How far does the outside go?"
What are you on about?

Does the outside stop
at the tree?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It goes way beyond the tree.
Way beyond the tree.

There's a big old world out there
that you don't know about.

A big, perilous world.

Oh, my gosh.

- It's all right. It's okay. It's okay.
- What was that?

- Perilous. So very perilous.
- Just birds. Just crows.

- Huh? All right.
- Where are they going, Brian?

Don't know.
Probably getting some worms or something.

Can birds do what they like?

Can birds do what they like?

I don't know.
Yeah, I imagine so. Yeah.

Right.

- Let's get you indoors.
- No, no.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Come on.

- Let's get you indoors.
- No.

Come on. I'll boil you some cabbages.

- Ooh. Cabbages.
- Yeah, cabbages.

- Yes, please.
- Yes, please!

No. It's best ifno one sees him.

Keep him here.

Simpler that way.

If I took him into town,
Christ knows what would happen.

People would be queuing round the block
to have a chat with him.

And there is lots
of rough people there, so...

There is one family in particular,
the tommingtons.

They're a handful. Bloody hard work.

Come on!

Eddie in particular.

Bloody n/ghtmare.

He is known for stealing stufif

he took my red one of these.

If he ever heard about Charles...

So it's probably easier
if I just keep Charles here.

Othennise...

Eddie.

What the cock's that?

Down here.

Hey!

Vvhoa.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- I'm not so sure about this.

Hey, hey.
Let's have a look at your eyebrows.

- I'm a little apprehensive.
- All right. Okay.

Uh, bit tufty.

- Tufty?
- Tufty-wufty eyebrows.

- Tufty-wufty.
- Uh-huh.

We'll get them trimmed up.

Now, relax. Only scissors.

- Danger, danger.
- Only scissors.

There we go.

Ouchy-wouchy.

There's a good boy.

Eek!

Now, I normally sleep
for about four to five hours, okay?

But you might hear me
walking around on the landing,

but that's just me
going to the toilet, okay?

Wee-wees.

Wee-wees. That's it. That's it.

Right, then.

Good night, Charles.

Good night.

Good night, Brian.

Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams yourself.

Good night.

Wishing you the best of nights.

Good night.

Charles, can you turn
your blue eye light off, please?

- Charles?
- Yes.

Can you turn
your blue eye light off, please?

I can't turn it off. Thank you.

Really?

I can't turn my blue eye light off.

Okay.

I am sleeping.

I am sleeping.

I am sleeping.

Draw, draw, draw.

I like to draw.

Right, I'm just heading
into the village for a bit, okay?

- Can I come, please?
- No, not this time.

You stay here, all right?

I want to go out, please.

No, you can't, okay?

Could I just have a little walk
around the garden?

Charles, no. Can you hear me? No.

Okay, cool,
but I just left something in the garden,

so I may just go
and get that from the garden.

You're being cheeky.
I know the games you're playing.

And it's a no. Okay?

I won't be long.

All right?

Oh, there she is. There's winnie.
You all right?

Yeah, I'm waiting for you
to open the door.

Stand by the door.

She wants me to wait,
go into the door and...

It's no good standing there.
Go by the door.

- What are you saying?
- It's no good standing by there.

Yeah, I'm waiting for you to...
She's waiting...

I'm gonna open... I'll knock on the door.

- It won'ttake long, w/ll it?
- Ah, in and out like a ferret.

I don't want these lights
burning all night.

- No.
- Hello there.

Come on, chewy.
Eat your nuts. Come on.

- Hi, Hazel.
- Good b... hello, Brian.

Just feeding chewy.

He doesn't want to hear
about that, Hazel.

He's got a job to do.

Yeah, I'll just get on with it, then.

Good boy.

Right.

They live to 101.

- Do they?
- Yeah.

I'll be happy to reach me 60s.

What's that?

What, that?

It's a plunger refreshment bottle.

Basically, you flip it and you sip it.

It's peach and pear cordial.

- Hello there.
- Oh, he likes it.

- Do you want some?
- No, thanks.

Hello. Who's there?

- Chewy.
- Whatever.

"Whatever." who's that?

- Who's a sexy boy, then?
- Right. That's enough.

Go and tidy the shoes
on the shoe mat, please, Hazel.

Thank you.

Oh, there's an onion in here.

Right, that's me, then.

Bye, Brian.

Bye, Hazel.

Goodbye, Brian.

See you, mate.

I'm home!

- Brian. Brian gittins.
- Oh!

Brian.

Brian has come back.

Calm down, boy.

- Brian has come back.
- I've got you some cabbages.

Bloody hell.

Who made this mess? Was it you?

Well, someone's been in my bin.

- It was you, wasn't it?
- Yes.

I'm sorry for looking in your bin.

I guess it doesn't matter.

You little rascal.

Look at you. He's so happy.

Little scratch under the ear.

Scratchy, scratchy.

Hello, mate. You all right?

What's that?

Look what I've done. Look. Look.

He's drawn a picture of me and him.

Look.

There's me. There's him.

- A cabbage.
- Cabbage.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

We got all the time in the world.
You're a great player.

You've just got to start believing that.
Okay.

Over to you.

Bull's-eye!

There we go. Well played.

- Winner.
- Winner!

- Me winner.
- Winner!

I am the prince of
the dartboard.

Winner, winner, winner.
Well played.

You're superb.
You're really good at darts.

We're just boiling cabbages
and chilling out.

- Aren't we?
- Can I have some now, please?

No, no, no, no.

You wait for din-dons.

So impatient.

J” / w/ll surely miss
your tender kiss... j”

what are you doing?

Are you dancing?
Are you dancing for me?

That's nice. That's nice.

Oh, look at those hips.

Look at those hips.

Watch me go.

Quick feet.

That's...
Oh, he's on the pink step.

What are you doing up there?

Are you gonna dance on the pink step?

Dance for Brian? Dance for Brian!

Come on, dance.

Hey... whoa!

Charles! Charles, are you okay?

I fell off the pink step,
and I had an accident.

- You have had an accident.
- Let me get you up.

Oh, dear. You need to be more careful.

J” babyj”

j” my heart is full of lo ve
and desire for you... j”

Bing-bong.

Don't say "bing-bong." Shh!

Bing-bong, bing-bong.

Stop saying "bing-bong, bing-bong."

- Knockety-knock-knock.
- Charles, please, please. Nothing, okay?

Do not make a peep.

- Bing-bong, knock, knock, knock...
- Charles!

That is the exact opposite

of not making a peep.

Okay?

Nothing.

- Do you hear me?
- Mr. Gittins?

Go through. Go through there.
Go through there.

Okay? Go through there.

- Hello.
- Mr. Gittins.

- Yes.
- I've come to read your meter.

All right.

- Can I come in? I need to take a reading.
- It's not... uh, no.

- It's not the greatest time.
- I mean, we did send you a letter.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

It's in your best interest
to let me take a reading.

Othennise,
you could face a charge.

Can I come in?

You're not giving up, are you?

- I mean, you want to do it now?
- Yes, please.

Just had an accident.

- Just down there, innit?
- Yeah, it's just under there.

And...

It's a lot higher than normal.

Have you been using
more power recently?

What?

Have you been using
more power recently?

Who is?

Well, have you been?
'Cause it's a lot higher.

Just wondering.

I'm using this quite a lot, this thing.

It's a bit, you know...

Turbo cup scrubber.

- All right, I'm gonna...
- Okay?

- That's all it... yeah.
- Okay.

- Thank you very much...
- It's pretty good works.

- For the reading.
- Is that it?

- Yeah, that's it, thanks.
- Okay.

Thank you very much.

- What's that, then?
- What?

That.

That is a washing machine
in a big man's shirt.

Don't ask.

Yes.

- It's nice, isn't it?
- It's all right, yeah.

- Thanks very much.
- You're done. You're done.

- You're on your way.
- Yeah.

- Over the pink step.
- Yeah.

Say hello to the girls and guys
at wales electric.

- Best regards.
- Yeah.

Bye.

See ya.

Charles. You tricked him.

You tricked him.

I am a clever boy for hiding.

- You are a clever boy for hiding.
- I am.

You are.

You have a dance.
You have a dance.

Clever boy dance time.

Hiding champion.

Watch me move.

This is lovely.

I'm gonna get your feet.

I'm gonna get your feet.

Charles, I'm making
some eggy bread and cabbages.

- Do you want some?
- Yes, please.

Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

J” 80 happy togetherj”

please, Brian,
I am stuck in a loop.

Please, Brian,
I am stuck in a loop.

- Attack. Attack.
- No, no.

- Attack.
- No, no. No, no.

- Attack. Attack.
- No, you don't. No, you don't.

Mmm. You cook a lovely sausage.

You are so very welcome.

J” / can't see me lo
vin ' nobody but you j”

j” fora/I my life... j”

what you doing? What are you doing?
That's weed killer! That's weed killer!

J” for all my life j”

j” ll/le and you... j”

Did you put this fence up, Brian?

- Yeah. Yeah, I did.
- How did you learn how to do it?

My dad.

- Dad?
- Yeah. Dad.

What else did he teach you?

Oh, blimey.

Oh, loads of things.

Can you teach me
loads of things too?

Yeah, course I can.

Can you teach me
how to water-ski?

What?

I read about it
in a sports magazine.

What sports magazine?

Grub's up. There you go.

- Grub's... grub's up.
- Grub's up.

There you go.

Nice, big cabbage.

You watching telly?

Telly.

Plural noun: Tellies.

Another term for television.

Example: There had been
a cowboy film on telly.

There's been a cowboy...

I've got to say,
I'm enjoying this magic moment.

Good. I'm glad you are.

I've done you some sponge fingers
for aftennards.

Yumsville.

But first, a destination that for years
has been synonymous with exotic travel.

Honolulu in Hawaii.

Now, there is so much to do in Honolulu.

- Everything from snorkeling...
- Where is that, please?

Horseback riding to helicopter tours.

It really is the pen'ect place

for sun, sea, adventure,
thrills and sp/lls.

- Where, Brian?
- Honolulu.

Put your head down
while you have your dinner.

In tropical Honolulu...

What is it called again, please?

Honolulu.

- Hunna-on-on.
- No.

Honolulu.

Honey-lay-lay.

It's Honolulu.

Hono-loop-loop.

What are you doing?

Let's go there, Brian.

It's hotter than here,
and it looks wonderful.

Will you sit down, please?

I want to go to hono-ia-ia.

Not now, you don't.
You're having your dinner.

- Horses and helicopters, please.
- You sit down and have your dinner.

- No.
- I beg your pardon?

- I don't want to sit down.
- Charles.

I want to go to honol.

Can we park this Honolulu chatter, please,

and sit down and eat our dinner?

So come along and experience...

Okay.

Bossy boots.

Let's see what's on the other side.

Best wishes...

- One and only Gary Barlow!
- Oh, I like him.

Packet of ringwald's gold,
will you, please, June?

8.90, please.

And a cherry and almond nougat bar.

I see the bonfire's coming along.
It's a big one this year.

The...

Sorry?

The bonfire?

My bonfire, June.

Well, I didn't mean anything by that.

I'm in charge of the bonfires round here.

- Sorry.
- Yeah.

That's nine pound, uh, 60,
I think, Eddie.

Or, uh, shall I just put it on your slate?

Yeah.

Yeah, I reckon you should do that.

What you doing over there?

Browsing around. Browsing.

- Browsing, is it?
- Yeah.

Is there much to browse in here, is there?

Yeah. This shelf isn't bad.

Sneaking around,
with his little table tennis bat.

Were you playing table tennis
on your own again?

Browsing away Brian.

Brian the browser.
That's what they call him.

Well, they used to call him other things,
didn't they?

There you are.

Whoops.

Oh.

You should probably pick those up
for June, I reckon.

Yeah, I will do.

- You don't have to do that, Brian.
- Oh, it's all right.

Charles.

I've got a pressie for you.

Charles?

Charles, are you up there?
I've got a present.

Charles.

Charles!

Charles!

Charles!

- Oh, no.
- You stop now.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

I am going to hanali-alu-iu.

Don't be silly. Going to Honolulu!

Honestly, what are you wearing?

It's my Hawaiian hula skirt.

Oh, you're being daft.
You're being daft. You're soaking.

Look at my best brown shoes.

I am going to hono-loop-loop.

No, no, you're not going
to hono-loop-loop.

- You're coming with me.
- Let go, man.

Don't pull me.

- I want to go to hono-loop-loop.
- No, you're not going, Charles.

Come with me.
You live with me in the cottage.

- But I want to go.
- Honestly.

Why won't you let me go, Brian?

I want to dance on the beach.

It's miles away.

I know. That's why I want to go.

You'd miss me, wouldn't you?

What is going on up there?

He said to me last night
he wanted to get a taxi to town,

hang out by the shops.

It's like he's changed overnight.

I can't just let him go off
on his own, can I?

Cold night tonight, innit?

Charles?

Wakey-wakey.

Charles?

Oi! Wake up.

Wake up.

Huh? Come on.

What do you want now?

Don't talk to me like that.

I just wondered
if you wanted to go into the village.

Who with?

With me.

You said I wasn't allowed, Brian.

Yeah, well,
I've changed my mind just this once.

I'll walk in and meet you there.

You will not walk in and meet me there.

You'll come with me in the truck,
or you won't go at all.

- Whatever.
- Don't say "whatever."

What...

Ever.

What you doing?
Why are you wearing that?

I feel pretty cool.

Not in my old curtains,
you don't.

Put something else on.

Hoopla!

Spoilsport.

How's he done that?

Okay.

Come on, then.

Are we going to the shops, Brian?

Yes, we are going to the shops.
Now, do as you're told, okay?

There are some things that I need.

Things you need?

I'd like a map of the world
for my wall.

Right, okay. Well, maybe not today,
'cause I've got stuff to do, but...

And some soap.

Soap?

- And some cotton socks.
- Cotton socks?

- And I want to sit in the front, Brian.
- No, you're not sitting in the front.

You're sitting in the back.
You're not old enough.

I want to go in the front, Brian.

You're not old enough to go in the front.

I want you in the back.

- Front.
- Not front.

I will sit in the front, Brian.

You will not sit in the front.
You'll sit in the back.

Maybe I could drive
and you could walk, Brian.

You have got a very, very cheeky brain,
and I don't like it.

I don't know what's got into you.

It's the same blue eye,
but a different attitude.

A very, very cheeky robot.

- Cheeky?
- Cheeky, yes.

- Cheeky bot.
- Cheeky bot?

- Cheeky bot sit in the front, Brian.
- Stop saying "front."

Front, front, front, front, front,

front, front, front, front, front.

- Are we there yet?
- No.

If you're good,
I'll take you to the lake.

- Lake?
- Yes.

I need to quickly stop
at the shop, okay?

- I'll come as well and say hello.
- No, you won't.

You've got to stay in the truck
and keep your head down.

Can we go to the swimming pool, Brian?

Swimming pool?
There is no swimming pool.

Can we go to the airport?

There is no airport.

Can we go to the zoo, Brian?

There is no zoo.

There's a kennels.
That's just dogs.

- Dogs?
- Yes, dogs.

Right.

I won't be long, okay?

Don't do anything. Right?

Hello.

I am Charles petrescu.
Who are you, please?

H... Hazel.

Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Hazel.

What... uh...

What are you?

I am Charles petrescu.

Do you live in the fields
with the sheep?

No, I live in the village
with my mum and a parrot.

Parrot: An exoticjungle bird
known for its flamboyant colors.

Characteristic features
include a strong, curved bill.

Yes, he's green,
and he's got red...

Did you know
the most important components

of most parrots' diets are seeds?

Please don't tell anyone.

- Please.
- I won't. I won't.

What is he?

A robot.

I am Charles petrescu.

Did you build him, Brian?

Yeah.

We're going to the lake for a walk.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
- No, no, no, no.

I'm sorry. No, we're just
going for a mooch about. Charles.

Is Hazel coming?

You should ask her
to come to the lake.

Very busy.

She doesn't look like she is busy.

She'll want to come to the lake.

Do you want to?
Do you want to come?

Well, is that all right?

How did you know
how to build him?

I wouldn't know where to start.

Don't know.

Just start at the beginning
and use your imagination, I suppose.

Would you like a game
of "kick the stone," Brian?

No, no, no.
I'm talking to Hazel now, okay?

All right?

Sorry.

It's so nice to be out.

I hardly ever see you around town.

And I'm... I'm quite busy.

- Yeah. Busy bee.
- Busy bee. Busy beaver.

Busy beaver.

Yeah.

Brian.

Charles, don't put your... uh, sorry.

Charles, don't put your feet in the water.

I want to swim across the lake
and check out the other side.

Don't be ridiculous,
swim across the lake.

- You'd sink.
- I would not.

You can't go for a swim.

We're going for walkie-walkies.

You and Hazel can do your thing,
and I'll do my thing.

No. Come on.

It's not fair.

Life's not fair.
Now, over here. Come on.

Hoopla!

Come on.

Sorry.

His toes get all wet and...

I can't believe you made him.

You should show him to people.

Why not?

Oh, it's...

Well, I'm impressed.

Thanks.

Thanks for inviting me.

That's all right.

You should come here more often.

Think I will.

Right. Home.

- All right?
- I better go.

Yeah. Better go.

- Bye, Charles.
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- Yeah.

Hazel?

Can I have a word?

I hope I'm not
overstepping the Mark here,

but you know what I said to you
about the... at the lake,

about maybe you should
come here more often?

Well, what I wanted to say was...

And I didn't say it.
I should have said it. Typical me.

What I wanted to say was

maybe we should come here more often?

Not here. The lake.

Okay.

Ooh.

- Bye.
- Bye.

What do you want
for dinner tonight, huh?

Don't mind.

Chunky soup?

I guess.

- Get your head down.
- Why?

- Just do as you're told.
- My head is as low as it can go.

- Beep-beep.
- Shush! Please.

I want to go on the swings.

Charles, please don't say anything.
Just look straight ahead.

- What is going on, Brian?
- Come on.

Come on.

Specky boy.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Not a lot.
I'm still in my dressing gown.

Yeah, I'm a lazybones.

Uh, I've got three dressing gowns.

Don't know. Just like dressing gowns.

- Hey.
- Oh, hang on.

- What?
- Who's that?

Uh, it's Hazel.
Just having a chat, all right?

Yeah. Don't worry about me.

Sorry. That was Charles.

Yeah.

Uh, would you fancy coming round later?

Just for something to eat?

Oh, great.

Yeah.

Oh, smashing.

Okay. Well, I'll see you then.

Bye, Hazel. Bye. Bye.

Brian, I'm just popping out
to get some bubble gum.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.
I need some bubble gum.

No, you're not going anywhere.

Relax, man. I won't be long.

No, you won't be long,
because you're not going.

Unbelievable.

I'll just sit in this room
and rust away, then, shall I?

J” until you sold out and walked out j”

j” and broke through the lies... j”

So, that's the story of
how I ended up

with two identical straw hats.

I love listening to your stories.

Ooh. Thank you.

- Charles?
- What?

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

- You should be pruning that.
- Do you want me to help you?

No, no, honestly, thank you, but...

You should be pruning that.

Huh?

Come on. Your tie, all wonky.

- Wonky tie.
- Get off.

I can do it.
I can look after myself, Brian.

I am not a child.

I want to go on an adventure
and see the world

and not just be stuck
in stupid ploxgreen cottage with you.

Don't talk to me like that, please.

This whole place is boring,
and you are boring.

Charles, the way you're being lately...

I'm sorry, but I don't like
hanging round with you anymore.

Then let me go.

What's got into you?

Huh?

Come on, Hazel.

Just prune that, please.

Sorry. Just...

- Charles, get in.
- No.

Charles, get in.
Get into the house, Charles.

Why?

All right there, Brian?

All right, Eddie?

Yeah.

You up to much, are you?

Same old, same old, suppose.

Is this the girl
with the talking pigeon, is it?

Uh, he's an Amazon yellow-capped parrot.

What do you have here, then?

I am Charles petrescu.

Talk.

It's talking.

- Do that again.
- Do what again?

Do that.

What does it do?

Huh? What does it do?

Boils cabbages for me,

and sometimes we play darts together.

Make him eat dog food, dad.

Yeah, make him eat the grass
and roll around in it.

- Make him do some starjumps.
- Make his eye flash on and on again.

- Make him run up the block and back.
- Can he dance?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, can he dance?

Go on, make him do a dance
for the girls, will you?

Really?

Yeah, really.

Charles, can you do...

Can you do a dance for Eddie
and his two teenage daughters, please?

I don't really want to, Brian.

Oh, it's all right.

Just do one of your little jigs you do.
Jig about.

All right, knock it off.

How much you want for him?

Oh, he's not for sale, Eddie.

I'll give you 50.

- We really want it.
- Yeah, dad, we really want it.

That's very kind of you, Eddie,
but honestly...

All right, I'll give you 55 for him.

- He's not for sale.
- Dad, please, come on, just get...

If he's not for sale,
then he's not for sale.

Shoved me.

I did, didn't I?

Brian.

Stay down, boy.

Right, in the truck.

What a weirdo.

I am dreaming.

I am dreaming.

I am dreaming.

I am dreaming.

- He's a bully.
- I know.

He's got one of those...
Big bully faces like bullies have.

Yeah.

Thinks he's the...
Thinks he's the king of the village.

He's not the king of the village.
There is no king of the village.

- Who owns the village?
- I don't know.

No, I don't know either.

I hated you seeing me like that.

I was embarrassed.

Absolutely embarrassed from head to foot.

No, Brian.

I could've duffed him
to smithereens.

Yeah, I could've whacked him
on the schnozzle!

But I didn't.

- No, you didn't.
- No, I didn't.

And do you know why I didn't?

'Cause I don't believe whacking people
on the schnozzle is the answer

to the world's problems.

It's mum. We need to be quiet.

What?

It's mum. We need to be quiet.

It's mum. We need to be quiet.

I genuinely don't know what you're saying.
I'm really trying here.

J” ton/ght, ton/ghtj”

j” the lights will
keep me dancing tonight j”

j” ton/ght, ton/ghtj”

j” the lights will
keep me dancing ton/ght j”

- all right?
- Yeah.

You hungry?

- Uh... ooh, I am a bit, actually.
- Cheese toastie?

- Oh, that'll be really nice, thank you.
- Yeah?

- Do you like marshmallows?
- I love marshmallows.

- Do you?
- Yeah.

For afters?

Yeah. Not for befores.

- No.
- That would be mad.

Charles!

- Charles!
- Charles?

Charles!

Oh, no, no.

No. No, no.

Charles!

Get out my way!

Charles!

- Charles!
- Charles!

I shouldn't have left him alone.

I'm an idiot.

I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot,
I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot!

- Get down.
- Okay.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Do you want me to go with you?

No, I'm okay.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

All right, Pam?

- All right?
- What do you want?

Is Eddie in?

- You got a cigarette?
- No, I've given up.

Is that why you got fat?

Look at that.

- What is it?
- Pinecones.

Who done that? You?

- Yeah, it's my pinecone bag.
- It's all right. It's snazzy.

- Can I have one, Pam?
- Hey.

I want one too, Pam.
I want a pinecone bag.

Can you do the girls one?

- Ah, it's just a plain bag, really, with...
- Yeah, can you do the girls one?

It's just glue and pinecones.

I didn't ask what it was made of.
I said, "can you do the girls one?"

One for her, one for her.
That's two, innit?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

That's all I wanted to know.

Can I see Eddie first?

He's up by the cows.

Where are the cows?

Sorry. I've never been here before, so...

- Look, walk that way.
- Yeah.

Big brown thing, shits out one end.
Other end says, "I'm a cow."

- Go on. You can't miss it. All right.
- I am going.

Why did you steal Charles?

Huh?

Charles.

No, I didn't steal him, no.

He came here of his own accord.

- Where is he?
- Who?

Charles.

Or whatever you call him.
What do you call him?

Tin man.

Tin man.

- Or prat.
- Prat.

- Or tin prat.
- Tin prat.

That works.

Where is he?

Oi!

Tin prat!

Oh. There he is.

What a mess.

Can I take him home, Eddie?

-Please.

He's mine.

Eddie?

Right.

Ty bach.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

You okay?

Huh?

Look at you.

Huh?

Look at your... look at your hair.

Brian, I want to come home.

I'm sorry, mate.

I'm sorry.

Hey, specky boy!

Our dad's gonna burn that thing.

What?

Your metal grandad.

We're cooking him.
He's going on the bonfire.

What?

Would you like a marshmallow?

No. I'm all right, thanks.

What you gonna do?

If I do anything, he'll just wallop me.

Can't you wallop him back?

W... we could wallop him
in a different way.

You can do loads of things
that he can't do.

I've never met anybody
that could build a robot.

Wouldn't know where to start.

I guess

you should just start at the beginning
and use your imagination.

I said that to you, didn't I?

Yeah, that's why I said it.

That'll do.

- Tar remover.
- Yes.

Thirty centimeter thrust gap.

Thank you very much.

Um, actually, you know what? I haven't.

Are you nervous?

No, I'm all right.

Candy floss is shaking.

I couldn't give a hoot if Eddie hits me.

Couldn't give a hoot what he does to me.

I genuinely couldn't give a hoot anymore.

Well, I give a hoot.

About you.

I give a hoot about you too.

That was a lovely feeling.

Thank you very much.

Who wants to see him burn?

Burn him! Burn him! Burn him!

Burn him! Burn him! Burn him!

Look at that! Look at that!

Look at him!

Yeah!

Burn him! Burn him!

Burn him! Burn him! Burn him!

Burn him! Burn him! Burn him!

Burn him! Burn him! Burn him!

- Toffee apples?
- I don't want a toffee apple.

- We've got two for a pound...
- No, I don't...

- Or three for one pound, 25.
- I don't want a toffee apple.

Oh, look at that.

- Or we've got four for one pound, 70.
- No, I don't want a toffee apple.

But we've got toffee plums...

I'll throw both of you in there!

You saved me, Brian.

You're welcome.

Are we safe now?

Nearly, mate. Nearly.

Can I sit in the front?

No, not now.

Hey!

- Go. Go!
- Hey! Hey!

I'm sorry we argued, Brian.

I'm sorry too.

Where are we going, Brian?

We're going home, Charles.

You're safe now.

Everything's gonna be all right, okay?

Put your foot down, Hazel!

This is looking perilous.

What is that, please?

It's my cabbage gun, Charles!

- It's a Cannon that fires cabbages!
- Cool.

Three, two, one!

Fire!

- Oh, bloody typical!
- Bloody typical.

Danger, danger.

Bnan?

Eddie's got another firework, Brian.

You are fly-tipping, Brian.

You're bloody right I am!

- You got him, Brian.
- Yes!

Go on!

Brian?

What are you playing at, Brian?

Take him back to my bonfire.

Take him back!

I'm gonna tell you one more time.

You take that rag doll
back to my bonfire now!

What are you doing? Huh?

What's going on in there?

Am I gonna have to embarrass you?

Is that what I'm gonna have to do
in front of these people?

Is that what I'm gonna do, is it?

We've all had enough of you, Eddie.

You hear that?

He once stole
our Christmas tree, Brian.

And I confronted him,
and he tried to deny it,

but it was definitely our Christmas tree,

'cause I recognized the fairy lights.

Not very nice.

What are you doing?

Oh, just leave him, Eddie.

Don't shove me, Eddie, please.

- I'm sorry, what was that?
- Don't...

- Eddie, leave it.
- Leave him alone!

No.

Get him, dad. Go on.

Okay, Brian.

Yeah?

You want to go?

Right, what's that?

It's Brian's super shover.

Right, Eddie, I told you I've had it.

- Get back in.
- It's over, Eddie.

It's over.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Bull's-eye.

It's not over. I thought it was over.
It's not over.

Get in the car! Get in the car!

You don't mess with Brian and Charles.

Leave it, Charles. It's all right.

Not happening, is it?

Well done, Brian.

Thank you, June.

- Thank you, everybody.
- Good night.

Night.

Ready, Charles?

Ready, Brian.

You're being very quiet, Brian.

- Is everything okay?
- Ah.

It's fine.

What's going on?

I've got a little surprise for you.

What do you mean?

What do you reckon that is?

A ticket. It looks like a ticket.

It is a ticket.
It's a round-the-world ticket.

You're gonna see all the places
you always dreamed of.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Are you kidding me?
- No.

Is he kidding me, guys?

I'm not kidding you.

- Are you kidding me?
- No.

Guys, is he kidding me?

He thinks I'm kidding him. I'm not.

Are you coming too?

-Why?

This is your adventure.

I've got everything I need right here.

- I am actually going to see the world.
- Yeah, you are.

Oh, he's so excited.

- Whoo-hoo.
- Look at you. Look at his feet.

Tip, tap, tippety-tap.

Whoo-hoo.

J” across the evening skyj”

j” all the birds are leaving j”

j” but how can they know j”

j” it's time for them to go? J”

j” before the winter fire... j”

Here's your ticket, okay?

Guess where you're going first.

Honolulu.

Yeah.

Have a great time, Charles.

Thank you, Hazel.

Oh, I almost forgot.

- I have a little gift for you.
- Oh!

Thank you.

Oh.

You soppy sod.

Look. He wants a kiss.

Oh!

Right.

Now, in here,
you've got a little bit of money, okay?

There's a travel guide,

and there's a savoy cabbage,
okay, for the journey.

- Thank you.
- All right?

Look at you.

Get you all nice and tidy.

Brian, I will be fine.

I know. I'm sorry.

Go on. Go and see the world.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm gonna miss you too.

Come here.

Hoopla! Hoopla!

Go and see the world.

And don't forget
to send us a postcard.

Yeah, send us a postcard!

Goodbye, Brian.

Goodbye, Charles.

Hold it now.

Kick it.

I really love that beat.

J” I'm Charles petrescu j”

j” I'm seven feet tall
and this is my rap j”

j” from Iceland to Africa
Russia and Japan j”

j” / want to see it all
that would be cool, man j”

j” the world is so b/g, so beautiful too j”

j” leven want to travel to timbuktu j”

j” I'm traveling the world
and doing it in style j”

j” it makes me so happy
and really makes me smile j”

j” Mike the culture, cuisine
and all the history j”

j” and everyone lmeet is so nice to me j”

j” I'm Charles petrescu j”

j” it's nice to meet you j”

j” I'm Charles petrescu j”

j” 80, my gosh
lha ve seen parrots, oceans and hills j”

j” I've seen penguins and sunsets
what thrills j”

j” I've met so many people
and done so many things j”

j” I've flown on so many planes
I feel like I've got wings j”

j” I've seen lions and zebras
temples and terns j”

j” llo ve all the s/ghts
the smells and the sounds j”

j” I've seen the jungle
and danced all night long j”

j” I've met a h/ppo
and I've sung lots of songs j”

j” 80 if you're stuck in a rut
not sure what to do j”

j” pack up your suitcase
and get out there too j”

j” go and see the world
and you will feel free j”

j” and don't be surprised
if you bump into me j”

J” I'm Charles petrescu j”

Okay, guys, let's get out of here.