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1
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,704
Previously, on
"Rick and Morty"...
2
00:00:07,789 --> 00:00:09,258
Jerry, I had sex
with your wife.
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,301
Ohhh!
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,329
I did it!
I fixed portal travel!
5
00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:14,446
Jack the Ripper,
at your service.
6
00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:16,220
Cool!
This happened too?
7
00:00:16,305 --> 00:00:17,222
I'm pregnant.
8
00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:18,974
Honey,
she's just like you!
9
00:00:19,058 --> 00:00:20,935
It's raining meatballs!
Okay, something is...
10
00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:23,520
Jerry Smith died
doing what he loved...
11
00:00:23,604 --> 00:00:25,064
Getting stung by bees.
12
00:00:25,148 --> 00:00:26,315
Off.
Off what?
13
00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,442
Have some respect.
It's Dad's funeral.
14
00:00:28,526 --> 00:00:30,277
I'm gonna name you
Jerry Jr.
15
00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:31,737
Thanks for solving
that murder, guys.
16
00:00:31,821 --> 00:00:33,781
Here's a skateboard.
Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk!
17
00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:35,240
- Morty, say you'll marry me! What?
- What?
18
00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:36,883
Just say yes!
Yes?
19
00:00:36,968 --> 00:00:39,063
Okay... Rick, do
you promise to...
20
00:00:39,148 --> 00:00:41,119
I do, and for our honeymoon
let's go to a sealed chamber
21
00:00:41,203 --> 00:00:43,055
lined with ionized
deuterium! Why?
22
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,042
Because the charge acts
as a narrative decelerant.
23
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,377
Morty, none of this is real.
24
00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:48,586
We're in a "previously on"
spiral. Clear your head.
25
00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:50,214
After all that's happened?! No.
26
00:00:50,298 --> 00:00:52,841
I-I'm innocent!
I didn't release those bees!
27
00:00:52,925 --> 00:00:53,842
I love Jerry!
28
00:00:53,926 --> 00:00:55,511
What'd I just say?
When?
29
00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:58,013
Okay, great execution.
Let's go back to the chamber.
30
00:00:58,097 --> 00:01:01,100
Now repeat after me, Morty...
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
31
00:01:01,184 --> 00:01:02,768
Next time
on "Rick and Morty"?
32
00:01:02,852 --> 00:01:04,770
No. Previously,
on "Rick and Morty"...
33
00:01:04,854 --> 00:01:07,272
Ignore it, Morty.
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
34
00:01:07,356 --> 00:01:08,607
It counteracts his toxins.
35
00:01:08,691 --> 00:01:10,782
Next time on "Rick and Morty."
Whose toxins?
36
00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:11,944
Hey, stop it!
37
00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,320
Previous Leon!
Grab him!
38
00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:14,989
Hold on tight, Morty!
39
00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:17,032
We got to get through
the opening titles!
40
00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,575
Opening titles of what?
41
00:01:18,659 --> 00:01:20,619
- Whoa! We're in space!
- Let go of me! Ow!
42
00:01:23,372 --> 00:01:25,541
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
43
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:29,294
What planet is this?
44
00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:30,629
Cover your eyes
on this part.
45
00:01:30,713 --> 00:01:33,465
Oh, my god,
it's a giant squirrel!
46
00:01:33,549 --> 00:01:35,342
Why are we dressed
like old-timey people?
47
00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:37,636
What the hell's going on?
48
00:01:38,888 --> 00:01:40,180
Why is my dad in a suit?
49
00:01:40,264 --> 00:01:42,683
Best episode!
Why am I butter?
50
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:43,851
Okay,
we're almost through.
51
00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:45,477
Ohh!
Ohh!
52
00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:46,937
♪♪
53
00:01:47,021 --> 00:01:48,064
Ow!
54
00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:52,443
Ugh,
and we're back!
55
00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:53,485
Stop!
56
00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:54,653
Let go of me!
What just happened?
57
00:01:54,737 --> 00:01:57,114
Why was there music?
58
00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:59,241
Because of this conceptual
little piece of shit!
59
00:01:59,325 --> 00:02:00,659
Grab his feet!
60
00:02:00,743 --> 00:02:02,995
If we have opening titles,
d-does that mean that we're a...
61
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,872
Let your body purge
the meta-venom, Morty.
62
00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:07,124
Don't succumb to his pointless
self-aware bullshit.
63
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,209
It's not pointless,
it's cool!
64
00:02:09,293 --> 00:02:12,296
He's got a gun!
Eat lead, pussy!
65
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,506
No, no, no!
66
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,674
Fuck!
67
00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:18,177
Oh!
68
00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:19,219
Son of a...
69
00:02:19,303 --> 00:02:20,512
Did he use a portal?
He wishes.
70
00:02:20,596 --> 00:02:21,847
He wriggled back
to the meta layer
71
00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,057
through a hole
in the fourth wall.
72
00:02:23,141 --> 00:02:24,475
Put these on
and help me find it.
73
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,479
I-I don't like this, Rick.
74
00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,439
Yeah, you shouldn't.
It's not a likable premise.
75
00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,691
I mean it's funny when I do a
little nod to the viewers, but...
76
00:02:32,775 --> 00:02:34,777
What viewers?! That's
the right attitude, Morty.
77
00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:36,862
A few carefree verbal asides,
always by me.
78
00:02:36,946 --> 00:02:39,281
None of this season-three
"Moonlighting" shit.
79
00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,365
Okay, here it is.
80
00:02:40,449 --> 00:02:41,617
You're going
to... to patch it?
81
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:43,327
No, he subverted
actual reality, Morty.
82
00:02:43,411 --> 00:02:46,371
He needs to be
put down like a rabid dog.
83
00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:54,213
♪♪
84
00:02:54,297 --> 00:02:55,714
Ow! Fuck!
85
00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,800
Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna
wear those over here.
86
00:02:59,343 --> 00:03:00,677
Maybe he went
down that road?
87
00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:02,596
No, no, no. If he took that,
he'd end up a hero.
88
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,389
Damn it, Rick.
I don't like this.
89
00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:05,599
I-Is this whole place
just...
90
00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:07,226
A bunch of
groan-inducing wordplay
91
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,186
for seven TV critics
that won't even enjoy it?
92
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,687
It's worse than you think,
Morty.
93
00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,272
We're basting in
meta radiation right now.
94
00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,316
Our credibility is
being permanently eroded.
95
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,609
Every second we spend here
96
00:03:15,693 --> 00:03:17,444
is the equivalent
to 10 "Space Jam" cameos.
97
00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:19,822
You should have thought
of that... previously!
98
00:03:19,906 --> 00:03:20,906
Get him!
99
00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:23,408
♪♪
100
00:03:23,492 --> 00:03:26,203
Ow! Ow!
101
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:27,412
Oh, no!
102
00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:29,331
Bless me, Heavenly Father,
for you will save me.
103
00:03:29,415 --> 00:03:31,500
Now I feel bad.
Let's just get out of here.
104
00:03:31,584 --> 00:03:32,751
Because he prays?
105
00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,962
You know Hitler was Catholic,
right?
106
00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:36,088
I'm here, Leon.
107
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,256
Uhh...
Okay.
108
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:39,133
He apparently prays
very well.
109
00:03:39,217 --> 00:03:41,051
Time for you two
to meet the Lord.
110
00:03:41,135 --> 00:03:42,177
That's okay,
we're good.
111
00:03:42,261 --> 00:03:43,595
Treat it
like a bear attack.
112
00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:45,681
Just walk backwards
and make yourself look big.
113
00:03:45,765 --> 00:03:48,642
I love a good refusal
of the call.
114
00:03:48,726 --> 00:03:50,477
Hello, Rick.
115
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,354
Hello...
Amish Juggler?
116
00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:54,565
His name is Story Lord.
117
00:03:54,649 --> 00:03:56,066
Story... Lord?
118
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,651
Listen, trust me,
take Amish Juggler.
119
00:03:57,735 --> 00:03:59,194
You can have it.
Story Lord.
120
00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:01,780
Rick, h-he's the villain from
that toy train I bought you.
121
00:04:01,864 --> 00:04:03,115
Very good, Morty.
122
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,867
The fictional versions of you
trapped me
123
00:04:04,951 --> 00:04:07,119
in a Bible show for children,
but I used make-believe Christ
124
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:10,289
to transcend fiction
and enter meta-reality.
125
00:04:10,373 --> 00:04:12,791
Now I'm the one
doing the trapping.
126
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,376
Leon was the bait.
127
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:15,919
Bait?!
Jesus?
128
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,754
Aaah!
129
00:04:17,838 --> 00:04:18,881
Aah!
130
00:04:18,965 --> 00:04:22,009
Don't ever...!
Dumb mother...!
131
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,513
You're using Jesus
to beat us up?
132
00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:27,931
Have you seen
"South Park"?
133
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,141
Good call-out, Morty.
134
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,642
That's the kind of meta
I like,
135
00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:32,853
the kind that keeps us
creatively accountable.
136
00:04:32,937 --> 00:04:36,398
Oh, God. Not the Bane.
Not the Bane!
137
00:04:36,482 --> 00:04:40,694
He Baned me, Morty.
Oh, Jesus Baned me.
138
00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:43,906
Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm...
I'm... I'm technically a Christian child!
139
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:45,908
And I'm your worst nightmare.
140
00:04:45,992 --> 00:04:48,202
I'm the Jesus
from every Jesus joke.
141
00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:49,411
The one without a God.
142
00:04:49,495 --> 00:04:52,039
Morty!
Take this and get out!
143
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:53,832
Thank you.
144
00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:56,043
Looks like Story Lord's story
is about to become...
145
00:04:56,127 --> 00:04:57,669
based on real events.
146
00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:58,879
What do you want
with that?
147
00:04:58,963 --> 00:05:00,631
I want what
any character wants.
148
00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:01,965
Motivation!
149
00:05:02,049 --> 00:05:03,342
What?
That's dumb.
150
00:05:03,426 --> 00:05:04,468
So lazy!
151
00:05:04,552 --> 00:05:08,513
Forward your notes
to my ass!
152
00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:09,932
Wait, what?
He just left.
153
00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,684
Kind of makes you want to be
our unlikely ally, huh?
154
00:05:12,768 --> 00:05:13,727
Oh, I guess not.
155
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,690
Previously,
on Jesus Christ...
156
00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,317
Hey, I'm Jesus.
I'm Mary.
157
00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:22,486
That's my mom's name!
Stop.
158
00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:23,654
Dude,
she's a hooker.
159
00:05:23,738 --> 00:05:25,739
She's a better disciple
than you!
160
00:05:25,823 --> 00:05:28,659
Ow! Aw!
Owww!
161
00:05:28,743 --> 00:05:31,745
Oh, no.
162
00:05:31,829 --> 00:05:33,080
I can't die.
163
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:35,666
I 'ave
a proposition for you.
164
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,209
I work alone.
165
00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:42,464
If I suck-a your blood,
I'll be invincible!
166
00:05:42,548 --> 00:05:44,258
I think!
You'll never know.
167
00:05:44,342 --> 00:05:45,550
Aah!
168
00:05:45,634 --> 00:05:47,803
Billionaire immortal
entrepreneur Jesus Christ
169
00:05:47,887 --> 00:05:50,514
has placed all his money into
what he's calling
170
00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:52,391
a "second chance at love."
171
00:05:52,475 --> 00:05:54,059
Hang on, Mary!
172
00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:56,895
The data!
So beautiful!
173
00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:59,648
Make me normal,
witch.
174
00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:02,985
Take it all!
175
00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:05,070
Eat your pudding,
Mr. Christ.
176
00:06:05,154 --> 00:06:06,154
What are
you smiling at?
177
00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:08,740
Your name.
178
00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:12,703
What's happening,
Rick?
179
00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:14,413
Leon's venom makes you think
more and more of your life
180
00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:18,458
is behind you as he feeds
on your released potential.
181
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,335
Leon,
y-you saved our lives!
182
00:06:20,419 --> 00:06:21,586
Oh, not yet he hasn't.
183
00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:22,796
Jeez, Rick!
So mean!
184
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,589
He's meta, Morty.
His life doesn't matter.
185
00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:26,967
Yours does.
That's why we need to get back.
186
00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:30,012
Well, this doesn't feel
like a citadel.
187
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:34,141
Uh, maybe it's cooler
on the inside.
188
00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,144
This isn't what it looks like.
189
00:06:37,228 --> 00:06:39,604
This is a very special diet
for successful writers.
190
00:06:39,688 --> 00:06:41,440
Why do you look like
my character?
191
00:06:41,524 --> 00:06:45,319
I am your character!
And you are going to improve me.
192
00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:47,154
But you're Story Lord.
You're great.
193
00:06:47,238 --> 00:06:48,822
Great isn't good enough!
194
00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:51,616
I've killed Rick
and made myself real!
195
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,369
I'm better than
some shitty toy train.
196
00:06:54,453 --> 00:06:56,204
Is this your office
or your apartment?
197
00:06:56,288 --> 00:06:58,123
Why does it smell
like you sleep here?
198
00:06:58,207 --> 00:07:00,292
You're my creator.
Why are you pathetic?
199
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,711
Because you failed!
And whose fault is that?
200
00:07:02,795 --> 00:07:04,129
What the hell happened?
201
00:07:04,213 --> 00:07:05,881
You want to know what happened?
Like, specifically?
202
00:07:05,965 --> 00:07:08,467
Well, the Ricks wanted to do
a "Canterbury Tales" -type thing,
203
00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:09,801
but none of them
have actually read
204
00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:11,053
fucking "Canterbury Tales."
205
00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:12,512
So then
they told me to make it like
206
00:07:12,596 --> 00:07:14,014
the poker-game episode
of the Batman cartoon
207
00:07:14,098 --> 00:07:16,016
where the bad guys
tell stories about Batman.
208
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,143
Then they kept telling me
it "needed something."
209
00:07:18,227 --> 00:07:19,978
Yeah, no shit,
it needed something!
210
00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:23,148
It needed to never be pitched!
I did my job!
211
00:07:23,232 --> 00:07:25,817
Goomby, the Ice Queen,
the Tickets Please guy.
212
00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:27,110
They just bailed on it!
213
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:28,487
The website didn't even
fucking work!
214
00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:30,364
And it was a shitty URL
to begin with,
215
00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:33,492
"Story-dash-train"?
Who uses a dash?
216
00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:35,660
They set me up to fail.
They fucked me!
217
00:07:35,744 --> 00:07:38,580
They fucked me and you're lucky
I haven't blown my brains out!
218
00:07:38,664 --> 00:07:41,500
Right. Just give me a
motivation, you hacky fart.
219
00:07:41,584 --> 00:07:43,001
Okay,
here's your motivation.
220
00:07:43,085 --> 00:07:46,838
You're looking for motivation.
You want all the motivation.
221
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:49,299
That's lazy.
It got you this far.
222
00:07:49,383 --> 00:07:50,717
Must be nice, by the way.
223
00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:52,761
Wish I could afford to dress
like a bisexual acting coach
224
00:07:52,845 --> 00:07:54,096
from the '70s.
225
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,224
My motivation...
is motivation.
226
00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:58,642
Okay. Bye.
227
00:07:58,726 --> 00:08:02,396
Oh, no, my bitter friend.
You're coming with me.
228
00:08:04,106 --> 00:08:06,691
Yo! If you don't see me coming,
it's a bad fortress!
229
00:08:08,903 --> 00:08:10,153
Where are we?
230
00:08:10,237 --> 00:08:11,988
Headquarters of
the Self-Referential Six.
231
00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:13,198
They're meta nerds
that found out
232
00:08:13,282 --> 00:08:14,825
they could be
less bearable as a team.
233
00:08:14,909 --> 00:08:16,159
They can help us?
234
00:08:16,243 --> 00:08:17,536
No, but there's a prisoner here
that can.
235
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:18,745
Shh.
Don't tell them that.
236
00:08:18,829 --> 00:08:20,080
Rick Sanchez.
237
00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,332
I've been waiting for
this moment for years.
238
00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:25,460
Oh, good.
Morty, this is Miss... Lead.
239
00:08:25,544 --> 00:08:27,755
I should kill you
where you stand.
240
00:08:28,923 --> 00:08:30,340
I brought you
Previous Leon.
241
00:08:30,424 --> 00:08:32,259
You'll want to lock him up
in your detention center.
242
00:08:32,343 --> 00:08:34,094
It's a trick!
He wants your prisoner!
243
00:08:34,178 --> 00:08:35,512
You dick.
Liar!
244
00:08:35,596 --> 00:08:38,098
Talk about a mislead.
Anti-meta field.
245
00:08:38,182 --> 00:08:39,266
Fancy device.
246
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,560
I think I can recall
the time you built it.
247
00:08:41,644 --> 00:08:43,145
Don't try it,
Flash Back!
248
00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:47,524
You know, I-I'm excited about
the upcoming election.
249
00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:50,235
This force field will be
impenetrable by meta-energy.
250
00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:52,028
It runs
on hydrogen isotopes.
251
00:08:52,112 --> 00:08:53,363
Hmmm.
252
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,574
It runs
on hydrogen isotopes.
253
00:08:55,658 --> 00:08:58,577
A few barrels of petroleum
should dampen it.
254
00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:00,954
Run, Morty!
255
00:09:01,038 --> 00:09:02,581
Were those
not there before?
256
00:09:02,665 --> 00:09:06,626
Guess there's been
a... Connie TinuityError.
257
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:09,088
These people are the worst!
I told you! Way overpowered!
258
00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:12,340
Look out, Rick!
259
00:09:12,424 --> 00:09:14,218
Forget him.
He's a nameless guard.
260
00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:17,262
That's Protago Nick.
261
00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:19,746
His beam has the power to make
any character the protagonist.
262
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,726
D-Duck!
263
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,436
Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man.
264
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,438
Oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man.
265
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,440
Gah!
What are you doing, Marvin?!
266
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,734
Not dying,
that's what I'm doing.
267
00:09:30,818 --> 00:09:33,320
Oh, what's going on?
What happened?
268
00:09:33,404 --> 00:09:35,989
I did it again, Katie.
I ran out on another job.
269
00:09:36,073 --> 00:09:39,993
Well, if you didn't do that,
you wouldn't be my man.
270
00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:47,125
♪♪
271
00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:54,299
♪♪
272
00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:56,468
I was almost tempted
to just let it go.
273
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,428
That's how much
I hate it here.
274
00:09:58,512 --> 00:09:59,971
Smash cut!
275
00:10:00,055 --> 00:10:01,389
Remember me, Rick?
276
00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,432
Who's this guy, now?
277
00:10:02,516 --> 00:10:04,809
I am Mr. Twist.
278
00:10:04,893 --> 00:10:07,437
The fifth member of
the Self-Referential Six.
279
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,522
Who's the sixth?
280
00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:10,815
That's the twist, Morty.
It's you.
281
00:10:10,899 --> 00:10:11,983
What?
Ignore him, Morty.
282
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:13,485
The twist is
there's no sixth member
283
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:14,611
and he tells that
to everybody.
284
00:10:14,695 --> 00:10:16,196
In any case,
you're ours now.
285
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,908
You can't free yourself without
a twist, and I control them.
286
00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:21,660
You don't control every twist,
Mr. Twist.
287
00:10:21,744 --> 00:10:24,329
I've got a twist for you.
Impossible! What is it?
288
00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:26,456
Aah! Aha! Nice try!
289
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,459
Like I didn't see
that coming.
290
00:10:29,668 --> 00:10:31,879
Fuck me.
291
00:10:32,713 --> 00:10:34,631
Great work, Morty!
I'm adapting!
292
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:36,007
Here's our ticket
out of here.
293
00:10:36,091 --> 00:10:37,509
They got him in a cell
made out of sports
294
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,094
because it's
the opposite of story.
295
00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:40,470
Do I want to ask
who he is?
296
00:10:40,554 --> 00:10:42,180
His name is Brett Caan.
297
00:10:42,264 --> 00:10:44,808
He has the power to make things
always have been other things.
298
00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,184
I think
that's called retconning.
299
00:10:46,268 --> 00:10:47,686
B-But his name's
Brett Caan?
300
00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:50,230
I mean, Rhett's a name too.
His name could be Rhett Caan.
301
00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:53,191
It is.
And always has been... now.
302
00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:54,693
Whoa.
Careful, Morty.
303
00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:56,236
Stay clear
of his retcon range.
304
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,362
Until he agrees
to help us.
305
00:10:57,446 --> 00:10:59,739
Rick,
you've always trusted me.
306
00:10:59,823 --> 00:11:01,825
Nice try.
Here's how it's gonna work.
307
00:11:01,909 --> 00:11:03,868
You're gonna make it so Morty
and I never came here.
308
00:11:03,952 --> 00:11:05,870
Once that's always been
the case,
309
00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:07,122
I'll free you remotely
with this.
310
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:08,999
What is my purpose?
311
00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:10,875
To wait until I tell you
to pull that lever.
312
00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:12,127
You are
fucking kidding me.
313
00:11:12,211 --> 00:11:13,670
If you don't free me
right now, Rick,
314
00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:15,797
I can make
very, very bad things
315
00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:17,549
always have been
the case for you.
316
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,717
Is that a threat,
you fuck?
317
00:11:18,801 --> 00:11:21,553
Y-Y-You can rot in there.
Rick.
318
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,054
You know what, Rhett?
Forget what I said.
319
00:11:23,138 --> 00:11:24,556
We've always been friends.
320
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,016
Good one.
321
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,225
Whoa, easy, Rhett.
322
00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:29,686
Don't forget that coffee mug
I gave you.
323
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,939
You always were able to be
killed with coffee.
324
00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,317
Aaah!
325
00:11:35,401 --> 00:11:37,235
New plan. Run.
Again.
326
00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,404
The twist being...
327
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:42,032
You were born without bones.
328
00:11:42,116 --> 00:11:43,575
See ya never!
329
00:11:45,119 --> 00:11:47,829
There's never been anything
outside this fortress.
330
00:11:47,913 --> 00:11:49,122
God damn it!
331
00:11:49,206 --> 00:11:53,919
And this fortress
has always been an orange!
332
00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:57,589
Pluh!
Great plan, Rick!
333
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,090
Yeah, I'm not pushing back
on that, Morty,
334
00:11:59,174 --> 00:12:00,634
I have royally
fucked us.
335
00:12:02,511 --> 00:12:03,845
Ugh!
It hurts.
336
00:12:03,929 --> 00:12:05,555
We've been past the fourth wall
too long.
337
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:07,349
We won't be real
much longer.
338
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,100
You killed us, Rick.
339
00:12:09,184 --> 00:12:12,062
You just had to hate
meta storytelling.
340
00:12:12,146 --> 00:12:13,271
In my defense, Morty,
341
00:12:13,355 --> 00:12:15,565
I think you can agree
my hate was justified.
342
00:12:15,649 --> 00:12:16,691
Ohh!
343
00:12:16,775 --> 00:12:22,113
Least... earned... death...
ever...
344
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:25,492
♪♪
345
00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:28,203
Death is a threshold.
346
00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:32,791
♪♪
347
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:34,918
Ugh!
What... What happened?
348
00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,002
You atoned.
349
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:37,462
Who... Who are you?
350
00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:39,756
I'm Joseph Campbell.
Soup?
351
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,926
I almost considered not making
it because my name is Campbell,
352
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:45,512
but then I thought,
stay in the moment, Joe.
353
00:12:45,596 --> 00:12:46,680
Follow your bliss.
354
00:12:46,764 --> 00:12:47,847
How are you here?
355
00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,307
R-Rhett Caan said
there was nothing.
356
00:12:49,391 --> 00:12:51,393
Some things never change
about mythology.
357
00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:53,687
There's always an old man
with soup.
358
00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:55,980
Name one story
that doesn't have one.
359
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:58,525
Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk.
"Basketball Diaries."
360
00:12:58,609 --> 00:12:59,984
Every "Matrix."
Every movie ever.
361
00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:01,820
Alright, I don't have to defend
myself to you people.
362
00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:03,571
Where's my soup?
363
00:13:03,655 --> 00:13:05,573
Previous Fuckin' Leon.
364
00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:07,492
Why is that prick here?
365
00:13:07,576 --> 00:13:09,077
No more a prick
than you, friend.
366
00:13:09,161 --> 00:13:11,496
Meta characters
erode reality.
367
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,665
But all characters are meta,
Rick.
368
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:16,584
All of us are nourished
and consumed by chaos,
369
00:13:16,668 --> 00:13:19,045
like newborns at the breast
of a meth addict
370
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:20,755
in a lifeboat filled with forks.
371
00:13:20,839 --> 00:13:22,549
I know what you have
to do, Rick.
372
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,175
Scrub Campbell's
browser history?
373
00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:26,261
Just trust
Previous Leon.
374
00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:28,346
Could you
previously us a way home?
375
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,641
Uh, well,
I'll sure enjoy trying.
376
00:13:31,725 --> 00:13:32,767
Yeah,
I bet you would.
377
00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:34,602
Rick can't change,
Morty.
378
00:13:34,686 --> 00:13:37,188
Change is what you might
call his Kryptonite.
379
00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:38,857
Except instead
of being super,
380
00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:41,776
he's, you know,
kind of a pussy.
381
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:42,986
Let's do it.
382
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,489
Previously, on Rick...
383
00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:48,199
Get him off! Get him off!
384
00:13:48,283 --> 00:13:49,159
Oh, boy.
385
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:50,535
He almost killed you!
386
00:13:50,619 --> 00:13:52,537
Okay, well, I feel bad,
387
00:13:52,621 --> 00:13:54,372
I kind of pressured
you into trying that.
388
00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:56,332
You called me a pussy.
I said I feel bad!
389
00:13:56,416 --> 00:14:00,712
This is a map to a region rich
in narrative ore.
390
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,547
I wish you
the best of luck.
391
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:05,717
Faster, Morty! I'd help, but I
can't blister my inventing hands.
392
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,135
How long will it take?
Years.
393
00:14:07,219 --> 00:14:08,636
You can live
in my wood shed.
394
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,097
Just don't open the
door after dark. Why not?
395
00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:13,266
Get out here,
you Communist Jews!
396
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,059
Dude.
Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
397
00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:18,354
I know, right? You fucking
"Back to the Future" rip-offs!
398
00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:19,773
It's ready.
399
00:14:19,857 --> 00:14:20,774
Rick, I should stay.
400
00:14:20,858 --> 00:14:22,233
Why?
I'm pregnant.
401
00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:24,569
What are you doing? It
wasn't him, Rick! Then who?!
402
00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:26,404
Me!
I never left.
403
00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:28,740
But you had to think all this
happened to make that.
404
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,450
And I can get this
through the titles?
405
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:31,826
If you hang on tight.
406
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:33,745
What about my beard
and unborn child?
407
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,789
Let them go.
Thank you, Leon.
408
00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:36,956
When you get home,
Rick,
409
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,583
do some
classic adventures.
410
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,794
Like season one... I'm
so sick of that fucking note.
411
00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:43,839
What the fuck
does it even mean?
412
00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,677
Ohh!
413
00:14:49,761 --> 00:14:52,430
Now, one last time.
414
00:14:52,514 --> 00:14:54,557
What's my motivation?
Motivation.
415
00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:57,602
This machine will siphon it
from everyone in the universe.
416
00:14:57,686 --> 00:15:00,104
Perfect. Greenlit.
Launch it.
417
00:15:03,066 --> 00:15:04,651
Oh, I think it's working!
418
00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:06,069
Yes, I can feel it!
419
00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,947
Something I did
is actually affecting someone!
420
00:15:09,031 --> 00:15:12,367
♪♪
421
00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:13,868
I don't want to
work anymore.
422
00:15:13,952 --> 00:15:17,956
I do, but only as an excuse
to not practice guitar.
423
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,210
♪♪
424
00:15:22,294 --> 00:15:25,213
Why don't we just write any
number down on the score sheet?
425
00:15:25,297 --> 00:15:26,589
Oh, why even do that?
426
00:15:28,258 --> 00:15:30,510
♪♪
427
00:15:30,594 --> 00:15:32,428
Wait, you have to
register?
428
00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:34,639
Yes!
I can feel it!
429
00:15:34,723 --> 00:15:37,308
I'm so motivated!
430
00:15:37,392 --> 00:15:40,061
I want... a lot!
431
00:15:41,396 --> 00:15:42,981
Story time's over.
432
00:15:43,065 --> 00:15:44,649
Ha!
Hardly your decision.
433
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:48,152
Did you seriously double down on
motivation as your motivation?
434
00:15:48,236 --> 00:15:49,362
It's a good idea!
435
00:15:49,446 --> 00:15:50,488
There's no such thing!
436
00:15:50,572 --> 00:15:51,990
There's joyful
and there's joyless,
437
00:15:52,074 --> 00:15:53,324
and we've had our fill
of one.
438
00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,118
Morty, make that sweaty writer
stop working
439
00:15:55,202 --> 00:15:57,078
while I kill off
his character.
440
00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:01,040
I have never been more driven
to destroy someone.
441
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,625
Yeah, well, I'm driven
to lower my blood sugar
442
00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:05,337
but guess who's getting tacos
after he kicks your ass?
443
00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,590
So you're jacked.
Who cares?
444
00:16:08,674 --> 00:16:10,091
Cum gutters.
445
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:12,510
I don't like that phrase.
I don't take notes.
446
00:16:17,641 --> 00:16:19,142
You can't beat me, Rick.
447
00:16:19,226 --> 00:16:21,728
I have one million times
your motivation!
448
00:16:21,812 --> 00:16:25,190
So do those guys with the
cellphone kiosks at the mall.
449
00:16:28,151 --> 00:16:34,782
♪♪
450
00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:41,539
♪♪
451
00:16:41,623 --> 00:16:49,213
♪♪
452
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,507
The hair is wrong.
453
00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,426
Like you'd be picky
about licensing.
454
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:56,221
Actually, I would.
I happen to believe that...
455
00:17:02,144 --> 00:17:03,394
You can do that?
456
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:04,771
You got to want it.
457
00:17:04,855 --> 00:17:07,231
Come on, just stop.
I-I don't want to fight you.
458
00:17:07,315 --> 00:17:09,984
Kid, I'm a writer that wrote
something successful.
459
00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,569
So if you want me
to give it up,
460
00:17:11,653 --> 00:17:13,738
you're gonna need a black belt
or a big pair of tits.
461
00:17:13,822 --> 00:17:15,031
Yeah, well,
I don't have those.
462
00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:17,325
In the mythical sense,
I have both.
463
00:17:17,409 --> 00:17:18,451
Joseph Campbell?
464
00:17:18,535 --> 00:17:20,078
Yeah, nice try.
He died in the '80s.
465
00:17:20,162 --> 00:17:22,497
Only you can see and hear me,
Morty.
466
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:23,623
Just repeat
what I tell you.
467
00:17:23,707 --> 00:17:25,750
Okay.
468
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:28,544
Sir, you're only proud of
your creation's success
469
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:30,254
because you want
to be creative,
470
00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:32,382
but creation doesn't happen
through gimmicks,
471
00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:33,925
technology, and distribution.
472
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,677
It doesn't even happen
through work.
473
00:17:35,761 --> 00:17:38,930
Creativity is frankly adjacent
to mental illness and overlaps
474
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,181
with it substantially.
475
00:17:40,265 --> 00:17:41,766
A lot of talented people
kill themselves
476
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,267
and all of them
are miserable.
477
00:17:43,351 --> 00:17:45,770
The real gift
is to be ungifted,
478
00:17:45,854 --> 00:17:48,273
and from what I saw
in your Green Arrow spec script,
479
00:17:48,357 --> 00:17:49,816
that's the gift
you were given.
480
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,484
You couldn't
have seen that.
481
00:17:51,568 --> 00:17:53,528
I'm Joseph Campbell.
I saw it.
482
00:17:53,612 --> 00:17:54,737
The villain
was a placeholder.
483
00:17:54,821 --> 00:17:56,072
I said I saw it, Jan.
484
00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:57,907
I didn't say
I could get past page five.
485
00:17:57,991 --> 00:17:59,617
Y-Your villains
aren't the problem.
486
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:02,453
The problem is, when you write,
you're a villain.
487
00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:05,081
If you want to be a hero,
just stop.
488
00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:14,799
You know what?
Maybe I will register.
489
00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:18,512
Say it! Tell me
I'm the new Mr. Nimbus!
490
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,306
Oh, looks like your writer
took a hiatus.
491
00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:23,683
Oh, fuck.
492
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,435
You're less motivated
to fight now,
493
00:18:25,519 --> 00:18:28,021
so this is literally punching
down, but you've got it coming.
494
00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:32,358
Please, let me live.
495
00:18:32,442 --> 00:18:33,818
I promise to be cooler.
496
00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:37,321
I'll be less inside baseball.
Maybe I change my name?
497
00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:38,405
Ow!
498
00:18:39,908 --> 00:18:41,409
You failed me.
499
00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:44,370
No, I failed you.
500
00:18:45,747 --> 00:18:49,292
All good things
must come to an end-
501
00:18:49,376 --> 00:18:52,253
All bad things too, though,
so don't flatter yourself.
502
00:18:52,337 --> 00:18:53,546
Jan, Joseph Campbell says
503
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,173
you have to be the one
to put him down.
504
00:18:55,257 --> 00:18:57,383
Wait, wait, wait,
Joseph Campbell also says
505
00:18:57,467 --> 00:19:00,595
you have to use this brand-new
limited edition Rick plush,
506
00:19:00,679 --> 00:19:03,347
available only on
rick-plush.biz.
507
00:19:03,431 --> 00:19:04,849
Supplies are limited.
Act now.
508
00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:06,184
He did?
509
00:19:11,648 --> 00:19:13,942
Shhh.
510
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,448
Jesus, that's the last time
I buy a toy from a Rick.
511
00:19:20,532 --> 00:19:23,118
Ooh, the plushies
are obviously well made.
512
00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:29,999
Thanks for getting us
back alive, Rick.
513
00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:32,878
Well, I am a master
of both worlds, Morty.
514
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:37,465
Joseph Campbell told me
to stop writing.
515
00:19:37,549 --> 00:19:39,133
Because it should be effortless.
516
00:19:39,217 --> 00:19:41,385
And when it happens organically,
that's when it's meant to be.
517
00:19:41,469 --> 00:19:43,179
You know, like, um, like me.
518
00:19:43,263 --> 00:19:45,598
I'm a writer, here's a pencil.
Writers use pencils.
519
00:19:45,682 --> 00:19:47,225
Okay, so, like, what if, like,
a pencil used me?
520
00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:49,185
Like, um... okay!
Yeah!
521
00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:51,062
Okay, so it's like
a magic pencil
522
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,730
that writes
the writer's life...
523
00:19:52,814 --> 00:19:56,400
Holy shit, it's a movie
about a writer!
524
00:19:56,484 --> 00:19:58,653
I am back!
525
00:19:58,737 --> 00:20:06,577
♪♪
526
00:20:06,661 --> 00:20:14,460
♪♪
527
00:20:14,544 --> 00:20:22,343
♪♪
528
00:20:22,427 --> 00:20:30,268
♪♪
529
00:20:30,352 --> 00:20:32,562
Yeah, I'm Tag-Man!
530
00:20:32,646 --> 00:20:35,106
I-I-I-I live in the tag!
531
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,941
I-I-I am the tag!
532
00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,025
I'm Tag-Man!
533
00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,443
Tag...
Tag of the episode... man!
534
00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:40,945
"Did you get any of that?"
535
00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:42,822
When the... yeah, when
an episode's over, look out,
536
00:20:42,906 --> 00:20:45,158
because, ya a a ah,
here comes Tag-Man!
537
00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:47,785
And I'm... I'm crazy!
Tag-Man!
538
00:20:47,869 --> 00:20:50,788
Yeah!
I'm... I'mma tag your ass!
539
00:20:50,872 --> 00:20:52,081
Tag that ass.
540
00:20:52,165 --> 00:20:53,499
Tag-Ass-Man!
541
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,376
I'm an Ass-Man now!
542
00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,711
I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man!
543
00:20:56,795 --> 00:20:58,629
Here's what you get.
Here's your tag!
544
00:20:58,713 --> 00:21:00,339
Yeah, you want some more?
545
00:21:00,423 --> 00:21:02,341
You want... you want some more
tag you sick piece of shit?!
546
00:21:02,425 --> 00:21:05,428
I'm... because I'm Tag-Man!
547
00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:06,929
I miss my wife.
548
00:21:07,013 --> 00:21:08,806
Too bad.
This is it!
549
00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:10,683
Tag-Man, yeah!
550
00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:13,770
Did you get any of that?
39345
Can't find what you're looking for?
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