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Previously on "Reginald the Vampire..."
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You really like her, don't you?
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Her name is Sarah.
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Maybe you should do something about that.
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Are you busy Friday night?
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No, no, I'm not busy.
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I think it would be fun if we went out.
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Sure.
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How have you never been on a date before?
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Leave him alone!
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I can fix this, Reggie.
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I had the weirdest dream last night.
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No, you're not dreaming.
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I'm a mother------- vampire!
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Being a fat vampire,
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that's gonna cause some problems
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within the vampire community.
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I'm going to be like this forever.
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Vampires can't glamour
20
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other vampires, all right?
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You need to feed, man.
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But I don't want to kill anyone.
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You don't have to.
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We need to break up.
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I reject your imaginary break up
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and think that you and I need to have
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an open and honest conversation
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about what's going on between us.
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Could I come in now please?
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Um,
the best way to have an honest conversation
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is to just dive in without
hesitation or fear.
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Are you... all right?
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Reginald?
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- Better now.
- Good.
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Because, um...
- Stop right there.
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Don't come any closer.
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Can't break up if we were never together.
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That's a fair point, semantically sound.
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We're on the same wavelength here.
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I feel like there's something
that you're not telling me,
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and Reginald, you can tell me anything.
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I know how you could assume that,
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but there's just some
things a man can't share.
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Try me.
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What's the story,
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morning glory?
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Sarah, there is nothing I'd rather do
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than be with you,
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but I can't.
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Because...
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the timing's wrong,
or the gods are against us,
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or the stars are out of alignment.
55
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Probably all of those
things at the same time.
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We can't be together.
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No, no! Sarah, what was I thinking?
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I was wrong! I don't care about the stars.
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Of course we can be together. We have to be.
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There's nothing in the world I want more.
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However, in the interest of full disclosure,
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I have to tell you something,
so brace yourself
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because, again, fully aware
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of what a shocker this is gonna be, but...
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the thing I wasn't telling you,
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my big, bold, impossible secret is...
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I'm a mother------- vampir--
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No, no, I'm still not entirely on board
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with that catchphrase.
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She didn't hear a word I said?
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Sorry, no.
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How did you even know she was here?
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The sire bond, man. It's like an alarm bell.
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What you feel, I feel.
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You don't wanna feel what I feel.
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Understood.
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You made her go.
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I just put a different thought in her head.
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What will she remember from tonight?
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I went a little deeper than that.
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What?
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No first date for her to miss,
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no reason for her to come here,
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no conversation once she did,
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and no catchphrase.
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Is Sarah gonna remember that she likes me?
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Well, I didn't tell her not to, man,
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but it's an inexact science.
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So summing up again,
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body issues for an eternity,
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unable to control my most basic urges,
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and unfit for human interaction including,
of course, romance.
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Well, hey, hey, none of that is permanent
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except for the body part.
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Something to look forward to then.
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Look, you need to feed, Reggie, okay?
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Nothing changes until you
get your teeth into someone.
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What if I don't?
99
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Well, it won't kill you,
but some very inconvenient
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shit will start to happen.
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Define "inconvenient shit."
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Drop your fangs, bite, and drink.
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Oh, and don't forget,
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make them forget after it's over.
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I've never glamoured anyone before.
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Well, it's a part of your nature now.
107
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Then come with me. Show me how to feed.
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- I can't do that.
- Why?
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Sorry, tradition.
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There comes a time when baby
birds gotta leave the nest,
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even if they need a little push.
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- I am not a baby bird.
- No.
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No, you're
a mother------- vampire!
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Welcome to the Slushy Shack.
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How may I help you?
116
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Welcome to Slushy Shack. How may I help you?
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What?
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- Todd wanted to have a--
- Whoa.
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How about a little warning next time?
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Sorry. Sometimes I violate
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people's personal space.
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And...
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Todd wanted to have a serious talk with you
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about your attitude, but I convinced him
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I might be more efficient
at getting to the bottom
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of what's bugging you.
- Oh? Okay.
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Fair enough.
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00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,579
What's up with the attitude, buddy boy?
129
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Okay, how is this more efficient?
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I employ the direct approach when necessary.
131
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Spill the beans.
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I'm worried,
and I don't know what to do about it.
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Go on.
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There's this friend of mine.
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I'm worried about her health.
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- She's sick?
- Not exactly.
137
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So this is not a health problem?
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It's--it's complicated.
139
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,778
I'm trying to figure out how to help her.
140
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I mean,
let's say that she's not entirely okay,
141
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but has no idea she's not okay.
142
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Like you're sick and don't know it.
143
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Maybe waiting until things get better
144
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is my best option, but I can't wait.
145
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Waiting for things to get
better is glass half full
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foolishness that never wins the day.
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Right.
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Okay, well, good talk, Ashley.
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I needed this. Thanks, I guess.
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Okay.
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00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,807
One, pull yourself together
when you're at the register
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and never bark at a customer again.
153
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,723
Got it. Attitude check.
154
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Two, you're weirdly indirect about this,
155
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but I'm sensing genuine
emotion in between the lines
156
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:49,643
when it comes to this
anonymous friend of yours,
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so I'm gonna say what I
told you at the start.
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"What's with the attitude, buddy boy?"
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Employ the direct approach when necessary.
160
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Dude, they slapped me.
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Wh--
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what the f--
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Hi.
- Hey.
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- Hey?
- Reginald.
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Sorry I'm late. It was so weird.
166
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I forgot how to get here.
167
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I mean, well, I didn't forget,
168
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but, like, I did.
169
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,440
So what did you do last night?
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Not much. Nothing.
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I don't know.
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I was just thinking about
what we were talking about
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at work yesterday.
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Oh.
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Well,
I don't really remember what we talked about.
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Follow-up question.
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Have you been on any dates lately?
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No. I don't think so.
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I mean, no, I haven't.
180
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But, uh, why would you ask me that?
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Um, nothing, just collegial interest
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in your social calendar.
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Oh.
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What's the story,
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morning glory?
- Okay.
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00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,665
That's a Blur song, right?
187
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What do you see when you look at me?
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Are you okay?
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I'm Reginald.
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I'm Sarah.
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Is there a reason you're
acting like we never met?
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Gah!
193
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Have we met?
194
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You killed my brother.
195
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I'm sorry.
You're gonna have to be more specific.
196
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,008
You killed Isaac.
197
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Again, my apologies.
198
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,621
The funny thing is I actually
killed more than one Isaac,
199
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,274
so fill in the details for me.
200
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,754
Are we talking about Dallas Ike
201
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,104
or maybe the Isaac I killed in Berlin?
202
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,165
Come on, man.
- You killed my brother.
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00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,819
Which we established, and--and did I mention
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how sorry I was about that?
205
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,520
Hey, hey, hey!
206
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,217
Look, if we're gonna fight,
207
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,828
first we gotta establish some rules, right?
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We're not gonna fight.
209
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I'm gonna rip your head off your body.
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No, no, no, I-I like my head.
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It's been on my body for over 75 years.
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00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,490
Look, Isaac wasn't a bad guy.
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00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:08,015
He was just mean and-- and a little vain,
214
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:11,409
and in a lot of ways, that's worse, right?
215
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:13,063
He didn't have to die.
216
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,935
He wasn't really a threat to me.
217
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:17,589
In truth, he had his hands up to surrender.
218
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,723
But he hurt a friend of mine, okay?
219
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:23,204
And my feeling was,
I was putting Isaac down for good.
220
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,815
Ugh.
221
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,578
Maurice, let me in!
222
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,058
I'm not a baby bird!
223
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,887
I'm a man! Now let me in!
224
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,454
Hey!
225
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,630
He's not in here.
226
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,024
- Oh.
- You're Reginald.
227
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,679
- Who--who are you?
- I'm Mike.
228
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:06,073
Do you--I-I need help.
229
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,944
Sounds like it.
230
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,250
Do you know where Maurice went?
231
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,600
Well, he comes and he goes.
232
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:14,559
Do you--do you know when he'll be back?
233
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:17,606
Why don't you come inside,
and we'll wait together?
234
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,434
Thank you.
235
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,230
- You're late.
- Yeah, sorry.
236
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,667
I ran into somebody.
237
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,195
Angel's Blood, you're going in hot.
238
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:44,154
- It's what I need.
- Going after her.
239
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,547
I never took you for the death wish type--
240
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,592
Look, can you get it for me or not?
241
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,769
Sure, but, I mean,
242
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,379
you gotta understand the risks involved.
243
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,510
The weight of something like this is--
244
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:01,824
On the other hand, happy to oblige.
245
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,610
It's like he erased her.
246
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:07,699
I mean, sure, she remembers who I am,
247
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,878
but what if she never remembers
how she felt about me?
248
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,967
What if it's just an empty space?
249
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:18,275
The thing about glamouring,
the essential comes back.
250
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,147
Sarah forgot what she did last night,
251
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,540
but one way or another,
252
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,804
she'll reclaim how she feels about you.
253
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,719
Is there, like,
a timetable that I can consult
254
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,112
that will let me know when that happens?
255
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:31,201
When you measure your life in centuries,
256
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:35,510
patience is a virtue.
257
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,338
This would be a lot easier
if you could just glamour
258
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,993
a comprehensive undead
life hack into my head.
259
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,345
Vampires can't glamour other vampires.
260
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,651
Told you that.
261
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,871
What are we talking about?
262
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,438
Love.
263
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:53,702
Love.
264
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,838
Love is constant. Only the names change.
265
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,448
How you doing, Reggie?
266
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,276
Other than thinking vampires
have a pretty convenient
267
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:05,148
gestalt for love,
I'm not doing great, thank you.
268
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,368
Reggie's special.
He just hasn't realized it yet.
269
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,893
Hey.
270
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:14,636
What's the square root of 65,894?
271
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:18,379
256.698.
272
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,424
What's the first sentence
of the seventh chapter
273
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,686
of the last book you read?
274
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,471
"War and Peace."
275
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:27,040
"The rustle of a woman's dress
was heard in the next room."
276
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,911
He's smart.
277
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,826
That's his superpower.
278
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,523
It feels like a parlor trick.
279
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,873
No, it's not a trick.
280
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,700
Okay, that's function.
281
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,441
You're exceptional.
282
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,661
Take advantage of that.
283
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,664
Gee, I had no idea how amazing I was.
284
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,798
All right, it's time for you to go.
285
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,931
Feed or fall apart.
286
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,193
Hey.
287
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,718
Drop your fangs, bite, and drink.
288
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,329
Make them forget when it's over.
289
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,287
Exactly.
290
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,976
Ugh, come on. What's wrong with me?
291
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,806
Come on.
292
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,462
Almost there.
293
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,724
Ah.
294
00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:58,609
Oh, f--
295
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,703
So the baby bird returns to the nest.
296
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:10,317
No, that's not Reginald.
297
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,927
Back so soo--
298
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,843
Hi, I'm Angela.
299
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:18,890
Maurice home?
300
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,548
Come on in.
301
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:39,188
What the--
302
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,798
Nice night.
303
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,497
I love a warm breeze.
304
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,717
- You about to jump me?
- Not exactly.
305
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:50,025
You think I'm prey for a dude like you?
306
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,461
That's actually closer to the truth
307
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:52,593
than you might understand.
308
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,075
Educate me, little man.
309
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,426
I want to drink your blood.
310
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:04,083
- Excuse me?
- I need to drink your blood.
311
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,867
- Get away from me.
- I could break your neck
312
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,129
before you even knew what hit you.
313
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,870
Only thing's neck you can break off
314
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:11,525
is a bucket of fried chicken.
- Make it easy on yourself.
315
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,788
Come with me, and I will let you live.
316
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,051
I don't think so.
317
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,097
You--you don't know who you're messing with.
318
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,663
I am vampyre.
319
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:22,840
I-I own the night.
320
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,538
I'll--I'll pay you $25.
321
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,540
$25 for my blood?
322
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:29,325
$50, but we'd have to go to an ATM first.
323
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,675
Hang on.
If you a vampire, where are your damn fangs?
324
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,026
Ah-ah.
325
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,160
Ah.
326
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,207
They're temporarily unavailable.
327
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,514
I don't know who you think you're fooling,
328
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,690
but vampires are all Patterson and shit.
329
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:48,518
Where your cheekbones, fool?
330
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,912
Well, in truth,
vampires come in all shapes and sizes now--
331
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,827
I'm done talking, understand?
332
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,481
Comic-Con is next month.
333
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,699
Listen to me!
334
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,310
Oh, I'm listening, mother------.
335
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,929
So...
336
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,413
How long has it been
337
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,763
since you two last saw each other?
338
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,202
A very long time.
339
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,467
I saw you in New York
340
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:27,340
the night David Dinkins got elected mayor.
341
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,733
I didn't see you.
342
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,736
No. No, you didn't.
343
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:40,527
I hear you met Isaac's brother, Erich.
344
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,050
Man needs a weapons designation,
345
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,444
not a name.
346
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:49,013
Well,
I just wanted you to know face-to-face,
347
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:53,366
personally,
that Erich will no longer be a problem.
348
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:56,020
You have my word.
349
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,632
Well, Angie, if we got your word...
350
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,115
I smell home cooking.
351
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:09,686
- Etouffee.
- Oh.
352
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,775
Like Maurice's mother used to make.
353
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:19,392
Well, it was nice meeting you, Angela.
354
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,350
Is there anything else we
can do for you tonight?
355
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,178
I should go.
356
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,876
It was lovely to meet you too.
357
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:28,270
Mike, is it?
358
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:39,542
I really didn't mean to intrude.
359
00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:42,153
I just wanted to see you in the flesh
360
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,894
after all of these years.
361
00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:49,596
Don't be a stranger, young soldier.
362
00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:55,515
I remember we were gonna break 'em.
363
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:57,430
Who you breaking now?
364
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,258
Wait and see.
365
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:35,903
Late for work?
366
00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,687
Something like that.
367
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,603
Chocoholic Blast,
368
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,866
just a pinch of Tropical Coconut.
369
00:21:42,953 --> 00:21:44,564
I feel the need to feed.
370
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:48,045
You and me both.
371
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,147
Reginald?
372
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,676
I appreciate the customer service,
373
00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:12,896
but I'm perfectly capable
of riding home by myself.
374
00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:20,034
There's a creepy vibe to
what's happening here.
375
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:23,167
You get that, right?
376
00:22:23,254 --> 00:22:25,256
I-I can't do this.
377
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:29,217
I can't.
378
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,524
Can't do what?
379
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,877
Back the---- up!
380
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:38,008
Language.
381
00:22:38,095 --> 00:22:40,837
Dude, you have fangs.
382
00:22:40,924 --> 00:22:42,752
They have a mind of their own.
383
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:44,928
Out they come, in they go.
384
00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:46,539
I'm helpless to control them,
385
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,367
and you'd think after all this time--
386
00:22:48,454 --> 00:22:49,542
I-I mean, it hasn't been a ton of time--
387
00:22:49,629 --> 00:22:50,847
Are you a vampire?
388
00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:56,636
Regrettably, yes.
389
00:22:56,723 --> 00:22:57,811
But you're fat.
390
00:22:57,898 --> 00:22:59,682
I don't know why that's relevant,
391
00:22:59,769 --> 00:23:01,031
but everyone keeps harping on it,
392
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:02,903
so hey, thank you.
393
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,079
I'm fully aware of my body issues.
394
00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:09,605
You were gonna feed on me.
395
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:11,607
It felt like my last available option.
396
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:14,480
Well, I'm not letting you do that.
397
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:16,482
As you wish.
398
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:18,788
I forbid you entry into my home.
399
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,529
Sounds about right.
400
00:23:20,616 --> 00:23:23,358
Be gone, undead creature of the night.
401
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,708
Is that really necessary?
402
00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:37,807
Reginald, are you okay?
403
00:23:37,894 --> 00:23:39,766
No.
404
00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:42,769
What are you gonna do?
405
00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:46,642
I'm gonna sit here and
wait for the sun to rise.
406
00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,862
- But won't that burn you up?
- If I'm lucky.
407
00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:50,429
And sorry in advance for the mess.
408
00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:52,953
I'll probably wash right off the sidewalk.
409
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:57,218
What's it like being a vampire?
410
00:23:57,305 --> 00:23:59,525
How does it look?
411
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,051
Who made you?
412
00:24:04,138 --> 00:24:06,836
Long story.
413
00:24:06,923 --> 00:24:09,665
Well, JFTR, I know all about vampires,
414
00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:12,320
so I won't let you glamour me.
- Not to worry.
415
00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:13,800
The last time I tried to glamour someone,
416
00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:16,367
I got punched in the face.
417
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,673
Will you promise not to bite me
418
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,154
if I get you something good to eat?
419
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,503
Yes.
420
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,200
How do I know I can trust you?
421
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:25,551
I'm a vampire, not an asshole.
422
00:24:25,638 --> 00:24:27,335
Right.
423
00:24:31,774 --> 00:24:33,428
Weak as a kitten too.
424
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:37,780
Are--aren't you gonna invite me in?
425
00:24:37,867 --> 00:24:40,087
I was just kidding about you not entering.
426
00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:42,132
Pretty sure that's just
something they made up on TV.
427
00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:44,091
I mean, think about it.
428
00:24:48,835 --> 00:24:49,966
Mom will be back soon.
429
00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:51,359
That's when her second job ends,
430
00:24:51,446 --> 00:24:52,882
so you have to eat and run.
431
00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:55,885
And she leaves you all alone like this?
432
00:24:55,972 --> 00:24:57,887
Perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
433
00:24:59,715 --> 00:25:01,935
Not sure if this will help,
but it can't hurt.
434
00:25:04,851 --> 00:25:06,635
There's blood in there, right?
435
00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:08,681
Technically, it's not blood.
436
00:25:08,768 --> 00:25:12,467
It's just water and a
protein called myoglobin.
437
00:25:33,227 --> 00:25:35,316
My grandmother says chew your food 32 times
438
00:25:35,403 --> 00:25:37,623
before you swallow.
439
00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:40,713
Oh.
440
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,628
That was an emergency.
441
00:25:42,715 --> 00:25:44,499
Pretty gross, to be honest.
442
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:47,241
Sorry. Mm.
443
00:25:50,026 --> 00:25:51,941
Well...
444
00:25:52,028 --> 00:25:54,683
I'm gonna go
445
00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:56,859
before your mom comes home.
446
00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,818
This is the weirdest fairy tale ever told.
447
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:02,473
Uh, will you come back and visit?
448
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,650
I mean, outside of the Slushy Shack.
449
00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:06,477
Mom's got extra long hours all week,
450
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:09,132
so I get bored.
451
00:26:09,219 --> 00:26:10,220
Plenty of steaks in the freezer.
452
00:26:10,307 --> 00:26:12,353
I'll thaw some out.
453
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,616
- It's a date.
- Still a little creepy.
454
00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:16,966
I'm a vampire. Creepy's my brand.
455
00:26:17,053 --> 00:26:19,273
Up high, big guy.
456
00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:28,761
Oops.
457
00:26:47,301 --> 00:26:49,782
What is it?
458
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,871
An invitation.
459
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,311
It's from Angela.
460
00:27:33,216 --> 00:27:36,089
What the what?
461
00:27:40,571 --> 00:27:42,965
What the hell are we doing here?
462
00:27:43,052 --> 00:27:44,532
You hate this woman.
463
00:27:44,619 --> 00:27:46,534
After everything she did to you?
464
00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:50,016
If I'm gonna destroy Angela,
end her for good,
465
00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:51,713
then I need to know
everything there is to know
466
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,628
about her world.
467
00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,238
It's like she taught me,
468
00:27:55,325 --> 00:27:58,372
knowledge is power.
469
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,905
- Have a great night.
- Have a good night.
470
00:28:12,473 --> 00:28:15,345
I'm giving Reginald ten minutes to get here,
471
00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:18,740
suit up, and get to work,
472
00:28:18,827 --> 00:28:20,481
or else...
473
00:28:21,961 --> 00:28:23,440
Hi, welcome to Slushy Shack.
474
00:28:23,527 --> 00:28:24,833
How can I help you?
- Hi, welcome to Slushy Shack.
475
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:52,992
Reginald.
476
00:28:54,907 --> 00:28:56,299
Whoa.
477
00:28:56,386 --> 00:28:57,823
I'm having a bad skin day.
478
00:28:57,910 --> 00:28:59,041
I'd say so.
479
00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:01,478
Maybe you should get that looked at?
480
00:29:01,565 --> 00:29:03,872
Yeah, first thing in the morning.
481
00:29:03,959 --> 00:29:05,744
Okay.
482
00:29:05,831 --> 00:29:08,137
Uh, Todd's getting pretty impatient,
483
00:29:08,224 --> 00:29:10,574
so you should probably get out front
484
00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,055
or see a dermatologist?
485
00:29:13,142 --> 00:29:16,624
Uh, whatever you think is best.
486
00:29:16,711 --> 00:29:18,104
Did you ever hear of the story
487
00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:21,063
of the ant and the horse?
488
00:29:21,150 --> 00:29:22,630
The what now?
489
00:29:22,717 --> 00:29:24,893
The ant and the horse.
490
00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:28,505
I...can't say that I have.
491
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,770
There's this horse,
492
00:29:31,857 --> 00:29:33,815
and it's totally beautiful
493
00:29:33,902 --> 00:29:37,123
a-and the envy of all other horses.
494
00:29:37,210 --> 00:29:39,734
So a pretty good horse.
495
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,388
Best horse possible.
496
00:29:41,475 --> 00:29:45,261
And every day,
the horse runs past this anthill,
497
00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:49,570
and an ant waits for the horse every day.
498
00:29:49,657 --> 00:29:51,964
Now, the horse doesn't know the ant exists,
499
00:29:52,051 --> 00:29:56,316
but for the ant,
the horse is the most important thing
500
00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:59,493
in the world, so it waits,
501
00:29:59,580 --> 00:30:02,017
but the horse just runs on by.
502
00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:05,151
Not sure how I feel about
this whole insect-horse story.
503
00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:08,850
And then, one day, the horse stops to graze,
504
00:30:08,937 --> 00:30:10,721
like, right next to the anthill,
505
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,594
and the ant who's been waiting
506
00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:16,075
and hoping for so long,
507
00:30:16,162 --> 00:30:17,293
this is his moment.
508
00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:20,862
He--he walks up to the horse,
509
00:30:20,949 --> 00:30:23,343
and there's so much he wants to tell her,
510
00:30:23,430 --> 00:30:25,954
a tidal wave of feeling,
511
00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,827
but then he notices that the horse is about
512
00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:31,699
to eat arrowgrass.
513
00:30:31,786 --> 00:30:33,440
- Is that bad?
- The worst.
514
00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:34,920
- Oh.
- Arrowgrass has a high
515
00:30:35,007 --> 00:30:37,357
cyanide content,
totally poisonous for the horse.
516
00:30:37,444 --> 00:30:38,662
Oh, that's not good.
517
00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:41,883
So the ant races right up her nose,
518
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:44,146
like, deep up in there,
519
00:30:44,233 --> 00:30:47,933
and the horse rears back and sneezes,
520
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:50,500
shaking its head, and it just trots off,
521
00:30:50,587 --> 00:30:52,198
leaving the grass behind.
522
00:30:52,285 --> 00:30:54,548
What happened to the ant?
523
00:30:54,635 --> 00:30:58,334
He shot right out of her
nose and bounced off a tree,
524
00:30:58,421 --> 00:31:01,294
but he limps back to his hill,
525
00:31:01,381 --> 00:31:05,037
and that's where he waits every day
526
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:09,476
for the horse to return because...
527
00:31:09,563 --> 00:31:14,046
he'll save her life again and again
528
00:31:14,133 --> 00:31:16,396
if that's what it takes.
529
00:31:16,483 --> 00:31:18,789
So...
530
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:22,489
slushy counter or emergency dermatologist?
531
00:31:25,448 --> 00:31:26,362
Let's go back to work.
532
00:31:36,068 --> 00:31:40,899
Dude, you look like the shit a shit took.
533
00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:43,771
All right,
maybe you should just take a sick day.
534
00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:45,642
Uh, hey, excuse me?
535
00:31:45,729 --> 00:31:48,602
Could I grab--
- Just one second, sir.
536
00:31:48,689 --> 00:31:50,996
That hat is not regulation,
and I'm gonna have
537
00:31:51,083 --> 00:31:53,520
to ask you to remove the sunglasses pronto.
538
00:31:53,607 --> 00:31:56,088
Welcome to the Slushy Shack.
How may I help you?
539
00:31:58,046 --> 00:32:00,483
Big guy, you need to feed,
and you need to feed now.
540
00:32:00,570 --> 00:32:02,659
Tell me something I don't know.
541
00:32:14,193 --> 00:32:15,585
Your face looks like toxic waste.
542
00:32:15,672 --> 00:32:17,196
I know, thank you.
543
00:32:17,283 --> 00:32:18,501
Here you go.
544
00:32:20,286 --> 00:32:21,722
Feed on Todd.
545
00:32:21,809 --> 00:32:23,506
What? No, that's disgusting.
546
00:32:23,593 --> 00:32:24,899
He's young. He's fit.
547
00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:27,162
I bet his blood tastes awesome.
548
00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:30,035
Regi-wide, you stink.
549
00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:32,776
Feed on Todd.
550
00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:37,738
What the hell happened to your face?
551
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:40,480
There you go.
552
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:24,557
Thanks for coming.
We'll see you again real soon.
553
00:35:24,644 --> 00:35:27,125
Yep. Thanks.
554
00:35:27,212 --> 00:35:29,910
Uh, maybe I should check on Reginald.
555
00:35:29,997 --> 00:35:32,130
You want to check, check on your own time.
556
00:35:33,870 --> 00:35:36,264
Welcome to Slushy Shack. How can I help you?
557
00:35:36,351 --> 00:35:37,744
Hey.
558
00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:39,006
What are you doing back there?
559
00:35:39,093 --> 00:35:39,963
That break room...
- I can help you.
560
00:35:40,050 --> 00:35:41,051
Is for employees only.
561
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,053
Reginald is very, very sick.
562
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,577
Tell someone who cares, okay?
563
00:35:48,102 --> 00:35:49,451
I think he's dead.
564
00:35:54,978 --> 00:35:56,937
Don't move. I'll be right back.
565
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:03,857
Dude, get your ass out of here.
566
00:36:03,944 --> 00:36:05,380
Whatever mess you're making,
567
00:36:05,467 --> 00:36:07,469
I do not want to clean it up,
you understand me?
568
00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:14,302
Oh.
569
00:36:14,389 --> 00:36:15,956
You're disgusting.
570
00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:20,700
Oh.
571
00:36:20,787 --> 00:36:22,745
Something's wrong with your eyes, man.
572
00:36:24,747 --> 00:36:26,532
What the hell happened to your mouth?
573
00:36:26,619 --> 00:36:29,404
Je--Jesus!
574
00:36:29,491 --> 00:36:31,276
You know what? That does it, okay?
575
00:36:31,363 --> 00:36:32,929
You're fired.
576
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:39,327
What's with the eye----, friendo?
577
00:36:39,414 --> 00:36:41,503
Listen to me!
578
00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:43,331
What?
579
00:36:43,418 --> 00:36:44,941
Listen to me.
580
00:36:45,028 --> 00:36:46,595
Listen, listen, listen.
581
00:36:46,682 --> 00:36:48,771
I'm going to bite your
neck and drink your blood,
582
00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:50,904
and that fills you with joy and happiness.
583
00:36:50,991 --> 00:36:53,211
It is the greatest thing
that's ever happened to you,
584
00:36:53,298 --> 00:36:54,951
and when I'm done,
585
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:57,040
you will forget that it ever happened.
586
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,406
Ooh.
587
00:37:43,609 --> 00:37:46,220
What did you do?
588
00:37:46,307 --> 00:37:48,048
You drugged me?
589
00:37:49,702 --> 00:37:51,356
Where's Mike?
590
00:37:57,579 --> 00:37:59,581
Why?
- Aw, baby,
591
00:37:59,668 --> 00:38:02,454
you know the answer to that.
592
00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:11,245
Todd?
593
00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:19,209
Hello, Sarah.
594
00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:25,477
What do you say we get
ourselves back to work, huh?
595
00:38:31,483 --> 00:38:33,049
Okay.
596
00:38:36,488 --> 00:38:38,185
Nice.
597
00:38:55,942 --> 00:38:57,900
Maurice.
598
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,316
Comfortable?
599
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:24,666
A coffin, seriously?
600
00:39:24,753 --> 00:39:26,015
And you always said
601
00:39:26,102 --> 00:39:27,365
I didn't have a sense of humor.
602
00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:29,802
Do I look amused?
603
00:39:29,889 --> 00:39:30,890
Where am I?
604
00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:32,239
You're in a wooden box
605
00:39:32,326 --> 00:39:34,720
about to incinerate,
606
00:39:34,807 --> 00:39:36,809
but if it's any consolation, as your maker,
607
00:39:36,896 --> 00:39:39,725
I will know the exact moment when you burn.
608
00:39:39,812 --> 00:39:41,204
I'll feel it.
609
00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:43,381
I made you in Oakland.
610
00:39:43,468 --> 00:39:45,818
You were such a beautiful boy,
611
00:39:45,905 --> 00:39:49,343
but your hunger for revenge almost ended us,
612
00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:52,346
and I followed you all the way home
613
00:39:52,433 --> 00:39:54,609
where I begged you to
leave your family behind,
614
00:39:54,696 --> 00:39:56,306
but you would not listen to me.
615
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,612
Do not speechify me
616
00:39:57,699 --> 00:39:59,266
before you shove me into this fire.
617
00:39:59,353 --> 00:40:01,747
And now you show up in Ohio
without any good reason
618
00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:03,183
except for that's where I am.
619
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:05,315
Did you think I wouldn't see you coming?
620
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,839
Angel's Blood?
621
00:40:06,926 --> 00:40:09,145
What the hell were you thinking,
young soldier?
622
00:40:09,232 --> 00:40:11,800
Is that how you honor
the gift that I gave you?
623
00:40:11,887 --> 00:40:14,063
I gave you forever,
624
00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:17,719
and that vampire you made is an abomination.
625
00:40:17,806 --> 00:40:20,635
Perfection is what keeps our nation safe,
626
00:40:20,722 --> 00:40:23,072
and not only is he less than perfect,
627
00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:25,466
but he is defective, grotesque,
628
00:40:25,553 --> 00:40:27,990
and an insult to our purity.
629
00:40:30,297 --> 00:40:33,126
Reginald Andres will not survive the night.
630
00:40:34,736 --> 00:40:37,260
Angela! Angela!
631
00:41:10,685 --> 00:41:12,557
Oh, my sweet Lord.
632
00:41:12,644 --> 00:41:16,299
Don't mind the rotund vampire
of very little importance.
633
00:41:16,386 --> 00:41:18,214
He's just passing through.
634
00:41:18,301 --> 00:41:20,216
- Angela!
- It's like I was never here.
635
00:41:20,303 --> 00:41:21,957
Who are you?
636
00:41:22,044 --> 00:41:24,090
Nobody, trust me on that.
637
00:41:24,177 --> 00:41:26,179
Everyone thinks so.
638
00:41:26,266 --> 00:41:28,703
You don't belong here.
639
00:41:28,790 --> 00:41:29,748
I mean, if you think about it,
640
00:41:29,835 --> 00:41:32,011
does anyone really belong here?
641
00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:34,274
You're lying to me.
642
00:41:34,361 --> 00:41:36,015
Again, not to argue semantics, but--
643
00:41:36,102 --> 00:41:37,625
I'm gonna rip your head off.
644
00:41:49,332 --> 00:41:50,812
Geronimo!
645
00:42:10,745 --> 00:42:12,268
Listen to me!
646
00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:13,705
Listen, listen, listen.
647
00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:20,494
Maurice!
648
00:42:20,581 --> 00:42:22,931
You won't believe what I just did.
649
00:42:28,284 --> 00:42:29,285
My damn feet are on fire!
650
00:42:29,372 --> 00:42:31,200
Got it.
44477
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