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1
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PREVIOUSLY
ON "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"...
2
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,300
IS ANYBODY HERE?
3
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,767
THERE MAY HAVE BEEN A BREAKDOWN
IN OUR CHAIN OF CARE.
4
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,233
YOU'RE TRYING
TO BUY US OFF?
5
00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,767
SOMETIMES
IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL...
6
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,033
THERE'S THIS PLACE
CALLED CAMP HENNESSEY.
7
00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:25,733
I'M NOT GOING TO ANY STUPID CAMP
FOR JUVENILE DELINQUENTS.
8
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,367
YOU DON'T HAVE
A CHOICE.
9
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,267
PAST MISTAKES...
10
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,400
WE PULLED IT
OUT OF ROCKWATER LAKE.
11
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,567
I MUST HAVE SOLD SEVERAL HUNDRED
OF THESE JUST LIKE IT.
12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,033
I HAVE A LIST
OF CUSTOMERS' NAMES ON FILE.
13
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,033
WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.
14
00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:39,467
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
I'LL KEEP YOUR SECRET, DAD.
15
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,200
Mary Alice: THERE WERE
MANY THINGS
16
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,667
GABRIELLE SOLIS KNEW
FOR CERTAIN.
17
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,367
SHE KNEW
RED WAS HER COLOR.
18
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,100
SHE KNEW DIAMONDS
WENT WITH EVERYTHING.
19
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:59,800
AND SHE KNEW
MEN WERE ALL THE SAME.
20
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:07,300
BUT THE ONE THING
GABRIELLE KNEW ABOVE ALL ELSE...
21
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,067
SHE WOULD NEVER WANT CHILDREN.
22
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:17,167
UNFORTUNATELY FOR GABRIELLE...
23
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,600
HER HUSBAND CARLOS
FELT DIFFERENTLY.
24
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,333
I'M SO LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU.
25
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,233
OKAY, I'LL BITE.
26
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,100
WHY ARE YOU SO LUCKY?
27
00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:45,200
BECAUSE...
28
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:47,700
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS,
AND YOU DO.
29
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,700
OH, THAT.
30
00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:53,500
MOST MEN WOULD LEAVE
OVER SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
31
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,567
AND YOU'RE STILL HERE.
32
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,300
I'M GRATEFUL.
33
00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,233
I KNOW THE SACRIFICE
YOU'RE MAKING.
34
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,600
THERE'S STILL
A LITTLE PART OF ME
35
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:03,333
THAT'S HOPING
YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND.
36
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:06,100
ONCE YOU HAD A BABY,
37
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,067
I THINK THAT YOU WOULD
LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT --
38
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,733
HONEY, IT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
39
00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:12,600
YOU NEVER KNOW.
40
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,633
NO, SOMETIMES YOU DO.
41
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,067
WELL, IT IS
A SACRIFICE.
42
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,600
BUT YOU'RE WORTH IT.
43
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:28,833
YES, GABRIELLE SOLIS
KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT
44
00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:31,200
SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO BE A MOTHER.
45
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,200
BUT WHAT SHE COULDN'T KNOW
46
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:37,533
WAS JUST HOW MUCH HER HUSBAND
WANTED TO BE A FATHER...
47
00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:40,167
OR THAT HE'D BEEN TAMPERING
WITH HER BIRTH CONTROL
48
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,667
FOR MONTHS...
49
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:47,267
OR THAT WITHIN
ONE WEEK'S TIME...
50
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,167
SHE'D BE PREGNANT.
51
00:03:34,433 --> 00:03:37,133
Mary Alice: SATURDAYS
ON WISTERIA LANE
52
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,167
BELONGED TO THE CHILDREN,
53
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,700
AND WHILE MOST
WOULD SPEND THE DAY
54
00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:43,267
PRACTICING THEIR SPORTS...
55
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,833
OH-HO!
56
00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:49,100
AND RIDING THEIR BIKES...
57
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,433
AND JUMPING THEIR ROPES,
58
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:54,267
OTHERS WERE NO LONGER ENGAGED
IN CHILD'S PLAY.
59
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:57,267
INDEED, SOME CHILDREN
WERE BEING FORCED
60
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,333
TO GROW UP VERY QUICKLY.
61
00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,067
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU
ON THE WEEKEND.
62
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,067
WE JUST HAVE
A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU.
63
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,767
ABOUT WHAT?
64
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,133
12 YEARS AGO,
65
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,067
YOUR LATE WIFE
PURCHASED A TOY CHEST.
66
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,500
TOY CHEST?
67
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:14,100
YEAH, IT WAS
ABOUT THIS BIG,
68
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,067
HAD LITTLE DANCING BEARS
ON IT.
69
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:19,300
GOSH, I'M SORRY.
70
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,200
THE CRAFTSMAN
WHO MAKES THESE CHESTS
71
00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:23,100
KEEPS A LIST
OF CUSTOMERS.
72
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:26,133
APPARENTLY, YOU PURCHASED ONE
IN AUGUST 1992.
73
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:29,067
YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHERE THAT CHEST IS NOW.
74
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:32,067
WOW, I, UM,
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU.
75
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:34,467
I DON'T RECALL
ANY TOY CHEST.
76
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,733
I REMEMBER.
77
00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:40,267
YEAH, IT HAD LITTLE BEARS
AND BALLOONS ON IT, RIGHT?
YEAH, SON, THAT'S RIGHT.
78
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,700
YEAH, WE THREW THAT CHEST AWAY
WHEN I WAS LITTLE.
79
00:04:42,733 --> 00:04:44,467
I WAS STANDING ON IT,
AND IT JUST BUSTED.
80
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,233
REMEMBER, DAD?
81
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:47,800
VAGUELY.
82
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,333
I GUESS
THAT'S ALL, THEN.
83
00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:57,100
THANK YOU BOTH
FOR YOUR TIME.
84
00:04:57,133 --> 00:05:00,400
HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH THIS CHEST, ANYWAY?
85
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,400
ONE JUST LIKE YOU HAD
WASHED UP ON TORCH LAKE.
86
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:03,767
HAD A WOMAN IN IT.
87
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,333
A WOMAN?
88
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,300
SHE WAS ALL CHOPPED UP.
89
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,800
OBVIOUSLY,
WE NEED TO TALK.
90
00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:29,200
YOU LIED TO ME.
91
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,667
YOU SAID THAT
IT WAS A MAN IN THE BOX.
92
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,200
NO, I DIDN'T LIE.
93
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:33,833
WELL, THE POLICEMAN SAID THAT
IT WAS A WOMAN'S BODY.
94
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,733
OF COURSE
YOU WERE LYING.
95
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,133
I TOLD YOU
A PRIVATE DETECTIVE HAD COME
96
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,067
TO TAKE YOU
AWAY FROM US.
97
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,767
I NEVER SAID
IT WAS A MAN.
98
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,733
YOU DIDN'T?
99
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:42,167
NO.
100
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800
WELL, I-I THOUGHT
THAT --
NO.
101
00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,333
NO, STOP.
PLEASE -- STOP.
102
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,433
I-I -- LOOK, I KNOW THAT
YOU'RE LYING TO ME, OKAY?
103
00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,333
I-I KNOW
THAT YOU'RE LYING.
104
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,400
FOR THE LAST TIME,
105
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,633
SOMEONE CAME AND TRIED
TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM US.
106
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,233
YES, A WOMAN.
A WOMAN CAME.
107
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,100
YES, SHE TRIED
TO STEAL YOU
108
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:59,267
FROM THE ONLY FAMILY
THAT YOU'VE EVER REALLY KNOWN.
109
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,233
AND WE COULDN'T
LET THAT HAPPEN,
110
00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,200
AND WE DIDN'T.
111
00:06:03,233 --> 00:06:04,533
AND THAT...
112
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:08,067
IS THE TRUTH.
113
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,700
Rex: WE CAN'T CANCEL NOW.
IT'S TWO DAYS AWAY.
114
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:17,100
REX, I'M NOT GOING.
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.
115
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,267
COUNSELING IS
PART OF THE TREATMENT
116
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,700
AT CAMP HENNESSEY.
YOU KNEW THAT.
NOWHERE IN THAT BROCHURE
117
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,700
DID IT SAY THAT WE WERE
EXPECTED TO ATTEND.
118
00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,767
WHAT'S ANDREW GOING TO THINK
IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP?
119
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,633
WELL, I AM MAKING HIM
THIS CARE PACKAGE.
120
00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,700
I MEAN, HE'LL KNOW THAT
I'M THINKING ABOUT HIM.
121
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:31,533
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING IN
LEMON SQUARES?
122
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,333
THEY TOLD US
NOT TO SEND HIM SWEETS.
123
00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:35,267
WELL, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHY.
124
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,133
I GUESS THEY FEEL
BAKED GOODS FROM MOM
125
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,533
UNDERCUT
THE BOOT CAMP EXPERIENCE.
126
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,567
FINE. I WON'T SEND THEM,
BUT I THINK IT'S A STUPID RULE.
127
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,433
SO ARE YOU GOING
TO THIS THING OR NOT?
128
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:44,733
NO.
WHY?
129
00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:46,600
BECAUSE THE MINUTE
I GET THERE,
130
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:49,333
ANDREW WILL START
ATTACKING ME FOR ABANDONING HIM.
131
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,500
AND I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR IT.
132
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,500
THERE'S NO REASON
TO FEEL GUILTY, YOU KNOW.
133
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:55,533
YOU DID EVERYTHING
YOU COULD FOR HIM.
134
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:58,333
I DON'T FEEL GUILTY.
135
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,533
OKAY.
136
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,333
PLEASE, CHRISTIE,
THERE'S NO WAY
137
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,067
THAT I CAN GET
ANOTHER BABYSITTER
138
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,300
THIS LATE IN THE DAY --
PARKER, KNOCK IT OFF.
139
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,533
NO.
140
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,267
BECAUSE I'M HAVING
DRINKS WITH FRIENDS
141
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,467
I USED TO WORK WITH,
AND THEY NEVER CALLED,
142
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,200
AND IF I BLOW THEM OFF,
THAT'S IT, I'LL JUST --
143
00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:32,100
I'M DEAD TO THEM.
144
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:35,800
NO, I CAN'T CALL
PATTY BINKS.
145
00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,633
BECAUSE SHE STEALS THINGS.
146
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,433
DAMN IT, CHRISTIE,
YOU'RE 13 YEARS OLD.
147
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,667
YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF TRIPS
TO THE MALL AHEAD OF YOU.
148
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:45,433
OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY I RAISED MY VOICE.
149
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,600
I'M CALM.
150
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,167
SO I'M STARTING TO THINK
THAT THIS IS ABOUT MONEY.
151
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,100
SO WHAT IS IT THAT
WOULD MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE?
152
00:07:53,133 --> 00:07:54,767
$100? WELL, THAT'S EXTORTION.
153
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,500
THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL
THAT I'M GOING TO -- HELLO?
154
00:07:58,533 --> 00:07:59,767
HELLO?
155
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,700
PARKER, I SWEAR,
I WILL SPANK YOU.
156
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,400
KNOCK IT OFF.
157
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,667
HI, MRS. BINKS.
IS PATTY THERE?
158
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,200
THANK YOU.
159
00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:16,400
HI, HONEY. I'M BACK.
160
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:18,100
HEY, SWEETIE.
161
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:20,567
THIS IS MR. STEINBERG,
THE ATTORNEY FROM THE HOSPITAL.
162
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,600
OH, HAVE WE MET?
163
00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:24,767
YES, MRS. SOLIS.
WE'VE MET.
164
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,700
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
165
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,667
IT WAS AFTER MAMA DIED.
166
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,533
APPARENTLY,
THE HOSPITAL WAS NEGLIGENT
167
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,067
AND AGREED TO A 7-FIGURE
SETTLEMENT CHECK,
168
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,533
A CHECK I WAS
NEVER TOLD ABOUT.
169
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:39,433
OH, THAT.
170
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,233
UH...
171
00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,067
MR. STEINBERG...
172
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,500
I WAS JUST LEAVING.
173
00:08:58,633 --> 00:08:59,567
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
174
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,333
WAIT, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN --
175
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:02,767
NO, WHY THE HELL
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!
176
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,600
BECAUSE I COULDN'T TRUST YOU
TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
177
00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:06,600
THE RIGHT DECISION WAS TO USE
THAT MONEY FOR MY LAWYERS!
178
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,500
WE COULD HAVE
FOUGHT THE INDICTMENT,
179
00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:10,567
AND THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD TO TAKE THE PLEA BARGAIN!
180
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,633
IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE
THE PLEA DEAL,
181
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,833
THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HAVE
SEIZED THE SETTLEMENT.
182
00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:14,833
OH, WE COULD HAVE
FOUGHT THAT IN COURT.
183
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:16,300
EXACTLY,
AND THEN YOU WOULD HAVE
184
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:17,200
BLOWN ALL THE MONEY
ON THE LAWYERS.
185
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,267
WHO CARES?!
186
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,067
IF THERE WAS A CHANCE
I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO JAIL.
187
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,400
YOU HAD LAOTIAN CONVICTS
SEWING CASUAL WEAR
188
00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,733
FOR 2 CENTS AN HOUR.
189
00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:25,733
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU DESERVE A TIME-OUT?
190
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,367
EIGHT MONTHS.
191
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,700
THANKS TO YOU,
I'M GOING AWAY FOR EIGHT MONTHS.
192
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:31,900
AND WHEN YOU GET OUT,
193
00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:34,367
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE MONEY
TO START OVER WITH THANKS TO ME.
194
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:39,367
YOU KNOW,
ONCE YOU CALM DOWN,
195
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,100
YOU'RE GOING TO REALIZE
I DID THE RIGHT THING,
196
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:45,233
AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
I'D APPRECIATE AN APOLOGY.
197
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,500
[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
198
00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:57,667
[ CRASH ]
199
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,500
GRANDMA'S HERE.
200
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:14,167
NOW, THAT IS JUST PERFECT.
201
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,667
STAY PUT.
202
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,733
I AM SO SORRY.
203
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,533
HEY, MOM.
204
00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,767
OH, HEY, SUSIE.
205
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,367
MM, I GOOFED.
206
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,700
WHAT HAPPENED?
207
00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:28,533
OH, YOU KNOW ME.
208
00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:30,300
NO DEPTH PERCEPTION
WHATSOEVER.
209
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:33,200
I'M STUNNED THEY EVEN
ISSUED ME A LICENSE.
210
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,400
SO YOU'RE SUSAN'S MOM.
211
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,667
YEAH.
212
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,700
I'M SOPHIE BREMER.
AND YOU ARE...
213
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,200
MIKE DELFINO.
214
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,133
OH.
215
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:43,333
YOU'RE MIKE?
216
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,767
OH, MY GOD!
217
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,467
SUSAN'S TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
218
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,467
WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
GIVE ME A HUG.
219
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,433
OH.
220
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,167
OH!
221
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,500
MOM, UH...
222
00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:58,333
MIKE AND I AREN'T
TOGETHER ANYMORE.
223
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,600
OH.
224
00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:02,267
I'M SORRY.
225
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,533
I-I GUESS I JUST MADE THIS
PRETTY AWKWARD, HUH?
226
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,500
YEAH, YOU --
YOU REALLY DID.
227
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,433
SO LET'S JUST
CALL THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
228
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:12,167
OKAY.
229
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,467
WELL...
230
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,567
IT'S NICE MEETING YOU
ANYWAY, MIKE.
231
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,067
YEAH. YOU TOO.
232
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,467
AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED
THAT YOU'RE SUSAN'S MOM.
233
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,300
I KNOW.
I LOOK TOO YOUNG.
234
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,600
I GOT PREGNANT WHEN I WAS
A TINY TEENAGER.
235
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,267
OKAY.
236
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,800
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
I GOT DRUNK -- EVER.
237
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,067
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
238
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,400
LET'S GO.
239
00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:30,333
HER FATHER
WAS A MARINE.
240
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:33,267
AFTERWARDS, HE GAVE ME THREE
OF HIS MEDALS.
241
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,067
MOM.
HA HA HA! WHAT?
242
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,267
LET'S JUST GO INSIDE AND CALL
THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
243
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:41,067
OH, RIGHT.
244
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,433
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?
245
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,367
I USED TO HAVE
ALL THESE QUESTIONS
246
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,400
ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO BE
THE WAY YOU ARE.
247
00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:58,367
THEY WERE ALL JUST ANSWERED.
248
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,400
HI! HA HA HA HA HA.
249
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,500
HI.
250
00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,533
HI. HA HA.
251
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,300
WHAT'S GOING ON?
252
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,733
OH, UM...
253
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:30,300
MY BABYSITTER CANCELED.
254
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,500
OH, LYNETTE,
I-I'M SO SWAMPED TODAY.
255
00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:34,133
MY -- MY HOUSE IS A MESS,
256
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:36,333
AND I'VE GOT MILLIONS
OF ERRANDS TO RUN, SO --
257
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:38,233
PLEASE HEAR ME OUT.
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
258
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,700
TODAY I HAVE A CHANCE
TO REJOIN THE HUMAN RACE
259
00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:43,567
FOR A FEW HOURS.
THERE ARE ACTUAL ADULTS
260
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,800
WAITING FOR ME
WITH MARGARITAS.
261
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,133
LOOK, I'M IN A DRESS.
I HAVE MAKEUP ON.
262
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,067
IF IT WERE ANY OTHER DAY --
263
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,300
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES, BREE,
I'M WEARING PANTYHOSE.
264
00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:55,367
BRING THEM IN.
265
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,400
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
OKAY, IN YOU GO.
266
00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,400
AND THEN THE POLICE
SHOWED ME HIS MUG SHOT.
267
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:01,733
NO.
268
00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:03,633
YES. MIKE SERVED TIME
FOR SELLING DRUGS
269
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:04,733
AND MANSLAUGHTER.
270
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,500
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
271
00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:07,767
WELL, IT'S TRUE.
272
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,400
HE HAS SUCH NICE MANNERS,
YOU KNOW?
273
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:11,800
I KNOW.
274
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,233
SUSIE...
275
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,300
I DON'T WANT YOU
WORRYING TOO MUCH
276
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,333
ABOUT THIS MIKE THING.
277
00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:21,067
THE RIGHT MAN
WILL COME ALONG.
278
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,533
JUST GIVE IT TIME.
279
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,167
I THINK I WOULD HAVE
GIVEN UP ENTIRELY
280
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,733
IF IT WEREN'T
FOR YOU AND MORTY.
281
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,200
MORTY?
282
00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:28,667
YEAH, YOU KNOW.
283
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,567
IT'S THE THIRD TIME AROUND
FOR BOTH OF YOU,
284
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,400
AND YOU'RE
REALLY CLICKING.
285
00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:34,800
UGH. GIVES ME HOPE.
286
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,300
WHAT'S WRONG?
287
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,433
NOTHING, NOTHING.
288
00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:42,200
UM, I'M JUST...
289
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:43,433
I'M, UH, TIRED.
290
00:13:43,467 --> 00:13:46,300
YOU'RE NOT TIRED.
YOU TOOK A NAP. WHAT IS IT?
291
00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,200
I LEFT MORTY.
292
00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:51,267
WHAT?
293
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,233
WHY?
294
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:54,167
BECAUSE HE SHOVED ME.
295
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,333
MORTY? NO.
296
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,700
YOU THINK I'M LYING?
297
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:58,667
FINE.
298
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,367
WHY WOULD HE SHOVE YOU?
299
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,567
BECAUSE I CONFRONTED HIM
300
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,133
ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME
HE'S SPENDING
301
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,367
AT THAT DAMN
PANCAKE RESTAURANT --
302
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,733
IF THAT'S
WHERE HE'S REALLY BEEN.
303
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,100
OH, YOU CAN'T
BE SERIOUS. MORTY?
304
00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,333
YOU THINK MEN HIS AGE
DON'T HAVE NEEDS?
305
00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:14,267
YOU SHOULD SEE
THE WAITRESSES HE HIRES.
306
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,567
EVERY YEAR,
THEY GET YOUNGER AND YOUNGER.
307
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,067
WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST
FEEL THAT WAY
308
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,367
'CAUSE EVERY YEAR
YOU GET OLDER AND OLDER.
309
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,500
WELL, THAT'S
A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY.
310
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:23,300
I'M SORRY.
311
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,133
I'M NOT THAT OLD.
I SAID I WAS SORRY.
312
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,367
PEOPLE THINK
WE'RE SISTERS.
313
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,533
WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE
YOU TELL THEM THAT.
314
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:30,767
ONE TIME.
315
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,467
HA HA. YOU'VE GOT
TO LET GO OF THAT.
316
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,733
OKAY, LOOK,
I AM JUST SAYING
317
00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:37,500
THAT I DON'T THINK
MORTY CHEATED ON YOU.
318
00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,533
WELL, HE DID
SHOVE ME.
319
00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:41,800
AND THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS BE SUPPORTIVE.
320
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:43,433
YOU'RE RIGHT.
321
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,733
YOU'RE RIGHT.
322
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:46,633
HE ALSO
THREW A BOOK AT ME.
323
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,167
OH, COME ON.
324
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,233
HEY -- AH.
325
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:52,067
I MEAN...
326
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,767
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE
DONE THAT.
327
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,733
HA. THANK YOU.
328
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,200
PORTER, HONEY,
THOSE COOKIES ARE HOT.
329
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:12,100
JUST WAIT A FEW MINUTES,
330
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:14,067
AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU ONE
WHEN THEY'RE COOL, OKAY?
331
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,167
UM...
332
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,800
YOU KNOW,
PICTURES ARE PRETTIER
333
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,633
IF YOU COLOR
INSIDE THE LINES.
334
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,400
[ Sighs ] WELL,
ART IS SUBJECTIVE.
335
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,233
PORTER,
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
336
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,333
BUT I'M HUNGRY.
337
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,133
WELL, THEN,
I WILL FIX YOU
338
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,467
A VERY NICE BOWL
OF PEACHES AND COTTAGE CHEESE.
339
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,133
EW, BARF.
340
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:39,433
DON'T BE COMMON, YOUNG MAN.
NOW COME ON.
341
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,633
IF YOU PLAY AROUND WITH
THOSE COOKIES ONE MORE TIME,
342
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,067
I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO SPANK YOU.
343
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,533
WE DON'T GET SPANKED.
344
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:45,667
REALLY?
345
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,433
MOMMY ALWAYS SAYS
SHE'S GOING TO,
346
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,067
BUT SHE NEVER DOES.
347
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,800
WELL, I AM NOT
YOUR MOMMY,
348
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,700
AND IF YOU MISBEHAVE
IN MY HOUSE,
349
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:55,233
YOU WILL GET SPANKED.
350
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:58,400
SO BE GOOD.
351
00:15:58,433 --> 00:15:59,833
HOW'S MY GIRL?
352
00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:01,300
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
353
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,333
[ CRIES ]
354
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,600
[ CRASH ]
355
00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:13,600
[ GASPS ]
356
00:16:13,633 --> 00:16:15,567
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
357
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,200
PORTER, I WARNED YOU.
358
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:19,100
I'M SORRY.
I'LL BE GOOD.
359
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:23,533
THOSE COOKIES
WERE MADE FROM SCRATCH.
360
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:26,300
YOUR FATE IS SEALED.
361
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,833
COME HERE.
362
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,633
NO, NO!
363
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:30,600
[ WHACK ]
OW!
364
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:31,567
[ WHACK ]
OW!
365
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,500
[ WHACK ]
OW!
366
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,600
[ WHACK ]
OW!
367
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:37,333
WHAT'S THAT?
368
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,200
IT'S CALLED
A POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
369
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,167
IT'S A LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT --
370
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,433
NO, I KNOW
WHAT A POST-NUP IS.
371
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:47,167
WHAT IS IT DOING
ON MY COFFEE TABLE?
372
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,300
WELL, I CAN FORGIVE
THAT STUNT YOU PULLED
373
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,700
WITH THE SETTLEMENT CHECK
374
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:52,200
IF I'M SURE THAT YOU'LL
REALLY BE AROUND
375
00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:53,700
WHEN I GET
OUT OF JAIL.
376
00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:55,667
HMM.
377
00:16:55,700 --> 00:17:00,400
AND THE POST-NUP CHANGES
THE TERMS OF THE PRE-NUP, SO...
378
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,267
SO IF YOU TRY
AND DIVORCE ME WHILE I'M GONE,
379
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,400
YOU GET NOTHING.
380
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:07,267
YOU DON'T TRUST ME?
381
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,833
AFRAID NOT.
382
00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,233
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD,
383
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,200
BECAUSE I'M NOT SIGNING
THAT PIECE OF PAPER.
384
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:15,600
YOU'RE A VERY BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN, GABRIELLE,
385
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:17,600
BUT...
386
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,400
YOU'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT.
387
00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,767
SEE, IF YOU DON'T SIGN IT,
388
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,833
I'LL PULL THE PLUG
ON THE SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT,
389
00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,667
DIVORCE YOU,
390
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:29,167
AND THEN YOU GET
WHAT AMOUNTS TO ABOUT 50%
391
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,567
OF OUR CURRENT SAVINGS,
392
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,267
WHICH IS BASICALLY NOTHING.
393
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:38,800
SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW, CARLOS --
394
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:42,433
SIGN THE PAPER AND JUMP
RIGHT BACK INTO YOUR ARMS?
395
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,567
BABY, IT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU.
396
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,367
YOU KNOW I THINK
YOU'RE THE PERFECT WOMAN.
397
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,100
OH, BUT I'M NOT.
398
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,100
I HAVE FLAWS.
399
00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:58,767
FLAWS?
400
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800
MM-HMM.
401
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,633
I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU
AN EXAMPLE.
402
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,667
REMEMBER THE TIME
WHEN YOU WERE IN JAIL
403
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,433
AND YOU TOLD ME ABOUT
YOUR SECRET COMPARTMENT,
404
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,500
AND YOU TOLD ME
TO BURN THE PAPERS
405
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:11,267
THAT I FOUND IN THERE?
406
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,433
WELL, ME BEING PRETTY,
AND THEREFORE STUPID,
407
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,600
I FORGOT.
408
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:17,433
YOU DIDN'T
BURN THE PAPERS.
409
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:18,800
WORSE.
410
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,733
I READ THEM.
411
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,167
OKAY, OKAY --
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE
TALKING TO ME ABOUT TRUST,
412
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,700
WHEN YOU HAVE
A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT
413
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,067
IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.
414
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,767
THAT WAS A SAFETY NET
FOR BOTH OF US.
415
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,367
I'LL BET.
416
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,300
HAVE YOU TOLD ANYONE ELSE
ABOUT THIS?
417
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,400
NO, BUT I COULD.
418
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,267
HEY, IS THAT
WHY THE PROSECUTION
419
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,200
DIDN'T HAVE
A CASE AGAINST YOU?
420
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:38,200
THEY COULDN'T FIND
THE PROFITS YOU MADE.
421
00:18:38,233 --> 00:18:39,800
SO IF I WERE YOU, CARLOS,
422
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,800
I WOULDN'T MENTION
THE WORDS "DIVORCE,"
423
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:45,333
"TRUST," OR "POST-NUP"
EVER AGAIN.
424
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,767
YOU DON'T WANT
TO PISS ME OFF.
425
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,767
I KNOW, BABY.
426
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,567
IT HURTS TO LOSE.
427
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,567
ANTE UP.
428
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,667
WELL, LOOK AT ME.
429
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,567
FINALLY IN ON ONE OF YOUR
LEGENDARY POKER PARTIES.
430
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,667
SUSAN'S ALWAYS TELLING ME
HOW MUCH FUN YOU GIRLS HAVE.
431
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,067
THE RULES ARE SIMPLE --
432
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,767
WE PLAY FOR CASH,
THE DEALER PICKS THE GAME,
433
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,167
AND UNSUBSTANTIATED GOSSIP
IS ENCOURAGED.
434
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,400
AH.
435
00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,400
BREE, THANKS AGAIN
FOR WATCHING MY BOYS.
436
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:27,667
ARE YOU SURE THEY WEREN'T
TOO MUCH TO HANDLE?
437
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,633
OH, NO, WE HAD
A WONDERFUL TIME,
438
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,133
ALTHOUGH I THINK PORTER HAD
A LITTLE LESS FUN.
439
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:33,067
OKAY, I'LL BET.
440
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,533
SO, SOPHIE, SUSAN SAYS YOU GUYS
ARE GOING TO THE SPA TOMORROW.
441
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:36,800
IS THAT
AN ALL-DAY THING?
442
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,300
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
PORTER HAD LESS FUN?
443
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:39,667
I'LL RAISE.
444
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,167
WELL, HE WAS
MISBEHAVING,
445
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,567
SO I HAD TO PUNISH HIM.
446
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,467
SO, YES, SUSAN IS TREATING ME
447
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,067
TO AN ENTIRE DAY OF BEAUTY --
448
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,500
SO WHEN YOU SAY PUNISHMENT,
449
00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:49,300
WHAT EXACTLY
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
450
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,733
OH, I HAD TO SPANK HIM.
451
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:53,300
OKAY, I WILL RE-RAISE.
452
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,167
YOU SPANKED MY SON?
453
00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:01,267
LAS PRECIS SPA. HA HA.
454
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,233
YEP, THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING.
455
00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:07,700
LYNETTE, IS THERE
A PROBLEM?
456
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,167
TOM AND I DON'T BELIEVE
IN HITTING OUR KIDS.
457
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,433
I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT.
458
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,467
SORRY. I-I DIDN'T KNOW.
459
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,667
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
460
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:18,100
OF COURSE,
I'M SOMEWHAT SURPRISED
461
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,167
YOU DON'T SPANK THEM.
462
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,833
I MEAN, EVERYBODY KNOWS
THEY'RE A LITTLE BIT...
463
00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,233
OUT OF CONTROL.
464
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:26,600
WOW, I'M JUST DRAGGING TODAY.
465
00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:29,100
SHOULD WE PUT ON
ANOTHER POT OF COFFEE?
466
00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,067
YEAH, I'LL DO IT.
467
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,100
I'LL -- I'LL FOLD.
468
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,033
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT, BREE.
469
00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,233
I'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT PARENTING,
470
00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:40,167
AND I FEEL SO BLESSED
TO BE GETTING SAGE ADVICE
471
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,300
FROM SUCH AN IMPECCABLE MOTHER
LIKE YOU.
472
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:44,033
I MEAN, YOUR KIDS
TURNED OUT PERFECT,
473
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,500
AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
COUNT ANDREW. WHERE IS HE AGAIN?
474
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:48,667
HMM?
475
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,167
SOME KIND OF A BOOT CAMP
FOR JUVENILE DELINQUENTS?
476
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,133
OKAY, GIRLS.
477
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,033
I NEVER SAID
I WAS PERFECT.
478
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,400
OH, HONEY,
NOBODY'S BLAMING YOU.
479
00:20:56,433 --> 00:20:57,667
THE HELL I'M NOT.
480
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,267
LYNETTE.
481
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:08,767
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME...
482
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,300
LYNETTE, WILL YOU
GO AFTER HER?
483
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,067
SHE SPANKED MY SON.
484
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:18,467
I'M NOT APOLOGIZING.
485
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:26,167
USUALLY POKER IS
MORE FUN THAN THIS.
486
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,233
SO HELP ME, IF YOU DON'T
BACK ME UP ON THIS,
487
00:21:28,267 --> 00:21:29,567
I WILL LOSE IT.
488
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,800
YES, BREE SHOULDN'T HAVE
SPANKED PORTER,
489
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,700
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
SHE HURT HIM.
490
00:21:33,733 --> 00:21:35,200
THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
491
00:21:35,233 --> 00:21:37,133
YOU DON'T SPANK
OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN.
492
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:40,400
HE WAS MISBEHAVING.
SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
493
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,733
B-BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE,
494
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,767
SHE DEFINITELY
CROSSED THE LINE.
495
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,233
YEAH, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
SHE DID.
496
00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,667
SHE COULD HAVE TRIED
SOMETHING ELSE,
497
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,400
LIKE A TIME-OUT,
OR SHE COULD HAVE SIMPLY
498
00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:50,067
THREATENED TO SPANK HIM.
499
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,800
YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT WORKS OUT
SO WELL WHEN WE DO IT.
500
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,333
IT DOES WORK.
501
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:56,767
IT DOES WORK
MOST OF THE TIME.
502
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,800
IT USED TO WORK.
503
00:21:57,833 --> 00:21:59,533
THEY'VE FIGURED OUT
THAT IT'S AN EMPTY THREAT.
504
00:21:59,567 --> 00:22:00,667
THEY'RE ONTO US.
505
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,833
MY MOM USED TO
BEAT THE HELL
506
00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:04,833
OUT OF MY SISTERS
AND ME,
507
00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:06,800
AND I WON'T DO IT.
508
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,533
I WILL NOT BECOME MY MOTHER.
509
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,200
FINE.
510
00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:19,300
BUT THE BOYS ARE
GETTING OLDER AND SMARTER,
511
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,700
AND EVENTUALLY --
512
00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:22,667
BELIEVE ME, EVENTUALLY
THEY'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT
513
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:24,233
THAT THEY OUTNUMBER US,
AND THEN...
514
00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:26,733
WE'RE SCREWED.
515
00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,733
EXACTLY.
516
00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:32,600
[ GROANS ]
517
00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:35,100
[ PLAYING FOLK MUSIC ]
518
00:22:41,833 --> 00:22:43,400
EXCUSE ME, ZACHARY.
519
00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:45,733
WOULD YOU MIND HELPING ME
WITH THESE BAGS?
520
00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:48,700
THERE'S SOME BANANA BREAD
IN IT FOR YOU IF YOU DO.
521
00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:52,433
UH, YEAH, SURE.
522
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:56,200
THIS IS REALLY GOOD,
MRS. TILLMAN.
523
00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:57,400
THANKS A LOT.
524
00:22:57,433 --> 00:22:58,667
YOU'RE WELCOME, ZACHARY.
525
00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:00,600
YOU KNOW,
I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN
526
00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:01,800
IN MRS. HUBER'S
HOUSE BEFORE.
527
00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:04,233
OBVIOUSLY,
YOU HAVEN'T MISSED MUCH.
528
00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:08,567
THIS IS THE PLACE
WHERE GOOD TASTE GOES TO DIE.
529
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,600
SO...
530
00:23:12,633 --> 00:23:15,333
I HEARD YOU AND YOUR FATHER
ARGUING THE OTHER DAY.
531
00:23:15,367 --> 00:23:16,733
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT
AT HOME?
532
00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:20,433
YEAH. WE JUST HAVE
PROBLEMS SOMETIMES.
533
00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:23,400
I BET YOU MISS
YOUR MOTHER.
534
00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:26,167
I'M SURE THINGS WERE...
535
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,233
DIFFERENT
WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE.
536
00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:33,200
SUCH A WARM,
LOVING WOMAN.
537
00:23:33,233 --> 00:23:35,433
Y-YOU...
538
00:23:37,433 --> 00:23:39,333
KNEW MY MOTHER?
539
00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:41,700
YEP. YEARS AGO IN UTAH.
540
00:23:41,733 --> 00:23:43,367
WE WORKED TOGETHER.
541
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,133
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
542
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:48,767
IT'S TRUE.
543
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,667
IN FACT...
544
00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:54,633
I'LL TELL YOU
A SECRET.
545
00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:58,067
I ONCE MET YOU
WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BABY.
546
00:23:58,067 --> 00:24:00,400
REALLY?
547
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,267
MM-HMM.
548
00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:08,067
YOUR MOTHER LOVED YOU
SO MUCH, ZACHARY.
549
00:24:10,133 --> 00:24:12,700
OF ALL THE THINGS
I REMEMBER,
550
00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:16,600
I REMEMBER THAT THE MOST.
551
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:31,167
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT ELSE I REMEMBER?
552
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,100
HOW LOVELY
553
00:24:33,133 --> 00:24:35,700
YOUR ORIGINAL NAME WAS.
554
00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:43,433
DANA.
555
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,533
ISN'T THIS NICE?
556
00:24:57,567 --> 00:25:00,167
OH, JUST THE TWO
OF US GIRLS HANGING OUT,
557
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,433
GETTING PRETTY.
558
00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:03,767
OH, THANK YOU.
559
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,633
MY PLEASURE.
560
00:25:06,667 --> 00:25:09,167
SO I WAS THINKING
561
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,133
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
CALL MORTY.
562
00:25:11,167 --> 00:25:13,500
YOU KNOW, GET STARTED
WORKING THINGS OUT.
563
00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:16,167
WHY WOULD I WANT
TO WORK THINGS OUT
564
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,800
WITH A MAN
WHO ABUSES ME?
565
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:19,600
[ GASPS ]
566
00:25:19,633 --> 00:25:22,500
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GASP.
MY MOTHER EXAGGERATES.
567
00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:24,733
SHE WON'T BE HAPPY
TILL I HAVE BRUISES.
568
00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:27,333
OKAY, UM, CAN WE JUST FOCUS?
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS
569
00:25:27,367 --> 00:25:29,633
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
570
00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:32,167
IF YOU DON'T
GO BACK TO MORTY?
571
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,100
HA HA.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
572
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,267
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
A PLACE TO LIVE,
573
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,767
YOU DON'T LIKE TO WORK.
574
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,300
I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO MARRY MORTY,
575
00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:41,100
SO HE DOESN'T
HAVE TO PAY YOU ALIMONY.
576
00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:43,167
IT JUST -- IF YOU DON'T
GO BACK TO THIS MAN
577
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,067
WHO ALLEGEDLY SHOVED YOU
ONCE IN FIVE YEARS,
578
00:25:46,067 --> 00:25:47,533
WHAT ARE YOUR OPTIONS?
579
00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:50,733
I THOUGHT
I COULD LIVE WITH YOU.
580
00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,233
WHAT?!
AAH!
581
00:25:52,267 --> 00:25:54,167
OH! OH! OH!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
582
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,433
YOU KICKED ME!
583
00:25:55,467 --> 00:25:58,067
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
I WAS STARTLED.
584
00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,233
HERE, HERE,
LEAN YOUR HEAD BACK.
585
00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:02,067
I'M NOT SAYING PERMANENTLY.
JUST FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS.
586
00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:03,133
YOU BROKE MY NOSE.
587
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:04,567
NO, NO,
IT'S JUST BANGED A LITTLE.
588
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,600
TILL I GET
BACK ON MY FEET.
589
00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:07,567
CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER?
590
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,700
SHOULD WE CALL 911?
591
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,433
NO, JUST A NOSEBLEED.
SHE'S FINE.
592
00:26:11,467 --> 00:26:12,767
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE EXCITED
BY THE IDEA.
593
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,433
IT'S NOT
THAT I'M NOT EXCITED.
594
00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:17,167
I'M NOT STUPID, SUSAN.
595
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,100
IT'S OBVIOUS
YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE.
596
00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:22,067
NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE!
597
00:26:22,067 --> 00:26:23,400
MOM, DON'T GO. MOM.
598
00:26:23,433 --> 00:26:25,133
COME BACK.
599
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,333
YOU KNOW, I NEED TO --
600
00:26:26,367 --> 00:26:28,267
WE'RE GOOD, RIGHT?
601
00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:30,133
JUST GO.
YEAH.
602
00:26:30,167 --> 00:26:33,700
[ SOBBING AND WAILING ]
603
00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:17,633
WHY AREN'T YOU
DRESSED YET?
604
00:27:17,667 --> 00:27:20,633
I WANTED TO WEAR
ANDREW'S FAVORITE COLOR,
605
00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:23,800
AND THEN
I REALIZED THAT...
606
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:26,500
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.
607
00:27:26,533 --> 00:27:28,267
OH, HONEY,
I THINK THE FACT
608
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,067
THAT YOU DECIDED
TO COME AT ALL
609
00:27:30,067 --> 00:27:31,167
WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY.
610
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,733
YOURS IS BLUE,
611
00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:35,667
DANIELLE LOVES PINK,
612
00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:37,333
AND I HAVE NO IDEA
613
00:27:37,367 --> 00:27:40,167
WHAT MY OWN SON'S
FAVORITE COLOR IS.
614
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,100
I'M TELLING YOU,
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
615
00:27:42,133 --> 00:27:43,733
HOW CAN YOU SAY
THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER?
616
00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,367
OF COURSE IT MATTERS.
BREE --
617
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,800
THAT IS
WHAT MAKES A GOOD MOTHER --
618
00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:49,100
SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THEIR CHILD
INSIDE AND OUT
619
00:27:49,133 --> 00:27:51,100
SO THAT IF THEY GET IN TROUBLE,
THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO.
620
00:27:51,133 --> 00:27:54,100
[ SIGHS ]
621
00:27:54,133 --> 00:27:57,067
I DON'T KNOW HIM
WELL ENOUGH.
622
00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,700
YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER.
623
00:28:08,267 --> 00:28:12,100
BROWN OR GREEN?
I JUST DON'T KNOW.
624
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,200
I'M GOING TO WAIT
IN THE CAR.
625
00:28:18,233 --> 00:28:20,100
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
626
00:28:27,133 --> 00:28:29,067
GREEN.
627
00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:31,633
I'LL GO WITH THE GREEN.
EVERYBODY LOVES GREEN.
628
00:28:52,433 --> 00:28:54,700
I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT SIGNING THIS.
629
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,300
OH, I THINK YOU ARE.
630
00:28:57,333 --> 00:29:00,633
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
I WILL DIVORCE YOU.
631
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,433
THEN I'LL GO
TO THE POLICE.
632
00:29:05,467 --> 00:29:07,700
AND TELL THEM WHAT?
633
00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:09,633
THERE'S A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT
IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS
634
00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:11,200
THAT NO LONGER EXISTS?
635
00:29:11,233 --> 00:29:13,667
YOU MOVED THE MONEY?
636
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,500
OF COURSE
I MOVED THE MONEY.
637
00:29:17,367 --> 00:29:19,500
WELL, THAT WAS RISKY.
638
00:29:19,533 --> 00:29:22,200
I MEAN, THE FEDS ARE
WATCHING YOU RIGHT NOW.
639
00:29:22,233 --> 00:29:23,533
I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
640
00:29:23,567 --> 00:29:27,300
I COULDN'T JUST LET YOU
MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME.
641
00:29:34,833 --> 00:29:35,767
AAH!
642
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,267
OH, STOP,
CARLOS, STOP IT!
643
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:39,633
PUT ME DOWN!
OKAY.
644
00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:41,467
PUT ME DOWN!
645
00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,633
LET ME GO!
646
00:29:43,667 --> 00:29:44,633
AAH!
647
00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,567
STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME!
648
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,800
CARLOS!
649
00:29:49,167 --> 00:29:51,733
SIGN IT.
650
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:56,600
SIGN IT!
651
00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:05,433
[ GABRIELLE SOBBING ]
652
00:30:05,467 --> 00:30:08,833
I KNOW, BABY.
653
00:30:08,867 --> 00:30:11,033
IT HURTS TO LOSE.
654
00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:41,600
MR. AND MRS. VAN DE KAMP?
655
00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:45,133
UH, YES,
UM, IS IT OUR TURN?
656
00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:47,133
WELL, UH, SORT OF.
ANDREW'S WAITING INSIDE,
657
00:30:47,167 --> 00:30:48,833
BUT...
658
00:30:48,867 --> 00:30:50,400
WHAT'S WRONG?
659
00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:53,033
WELL, HE SAID HE WON'T
GO FORWARD WITH THE SESSION
660
00:30:53,067 --> 00:30:54,633
IF HIS MOTHER'S INVOLVED.
661
00:30:54,667 --> 00:30:57,033
HE ONLY WANTS
TO TALK TO HIS DAD.
662
00:30:57,067 --> 00:30:59,400
WE DROVE 200 MILES
TO BE HERE TODAY.
663
00:30:59,433 --> 00:31:00,467
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.
664
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,367
I-I SHARE YOUR FRUSTRATION.
665
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,500
ALL RIGHT,
TO HELL WITH HIM, THEN.
666
00:31:04,533 --> 00:31:06,367
WE'RE GOING HOME.
NO.
667
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,500
I AM NOT GOING TO LET HIM
INSULT YOU LIKE THIS.
668
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:09,833
HE BLAMES ME
FOR HIS BEING HERE.
669
00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,067
HE BLAMES ME
FOR EVERYTHING.
670
00:31:12,067 --> 00:31:14,733
AND HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT.
671
00:31:14,767 --> 00:31:16,700
ANY MISTAKES MADE
WERE MADE BY BOTH OF US.
672
00:31:16,733 --> 00:31:19,167
ONE OF US
SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM,
673
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,600
SEE HOW HE IS.
674
00:31:20,633 --> 00:31:21,600
I'M OKAY.
675
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:24,733
ARE YOU SURE?
676
00:31:24,767 --> 00:31:26,300
YEAH. FINE.
677
00:31:29,733 --> 00:31:31,600
RIGHT THIS WAY.
678
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,833
[ BOYS LAUGHING ]
679
00:31:58,867 --> 00:32:00,367
MOM. MOM!
680
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,633
YEAH, YEAH, I'M COMING.
WHAT IS IT?
681
00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:03,700
WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS
BRUSHING YOUR TEETH?
682
00:32:03,733 --> 00:32:05,100
[ BOYS LAUGHING ]
683
00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:07,100
PARKER, WHAT HAPPENED?
684
00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:08,767
PORTER PUSHED ME,
AND IT FELL IN.
685
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,367
HE PUSHED ME FIRST.
686
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,267
CAN I FLUSH IT?
687
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:12,567
NO, NO.
688
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,167
I'LL FISH IT OUT LATER,
ALL RIGHT?
689
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,533
YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK
FOR TONIGHT,
690
00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:18,067
BUT NOT YOU TWO,
SO START BRUSHING.
691
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:21,067
PRESTON,
DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?
692
00:32:21,067 --> 00:32:23,200
I SAID
START BRUSHING YOUR TEETH.
693
00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:24,733
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
694
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:29,667
DON'T YOU DARE.
695
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,700
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
696
00:32:30,733 --> 00:32:32,433
PRESTON,
DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.
697
00:32:32,467 --> 00:32:34,600
BACK AWAY FROM THE TOILET,
AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
698
00:32:34,633 --> 00:32:38,667
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
THESE ARE NOT JUST WORDS.
699
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:40,467
DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
700
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:43,133
IF YOU DO THIS,
SO HELP ME...
701
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:46,200
Mary Alice: HEARING
THE HOLLOWNESS OF HER OWN VOICE,
702
00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:50,300
LYNETTE REALIZED THAT IT WAS
TIME TO GET ONE STEP AHEAD.
703
00:32:50,333 --> 00:32:51,300
HA HA HA.
704
00:32:51,333 --> 00:32:52,533
DO IT! DO IT!
705
00:32:52,567 --> 00:32:55,367
I WILL WALK YOU
OVER TO MRS. VAN DE KAMP'S,
706
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,333
AND WE ALL KNOW
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHE GETS MAD.
707
00:33:00,233 --> 00:33:01,433
NOW...
708
00:33:01,467 --> 00:33:05,067
GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH,
AND I WANT THEM TO SPARKLE.
709
00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:06,133
GO ON.
710
00:33:08,233 --> 00:33:10,267
SORRY YOU HAD TO BRING
YOUR KID BACK.
711
00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:11,733
WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME?
712
00:33:11,767 --> 00:33:13,300
WELL, COUPLE MONTHS BACK,
713
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,433
I CAUGHT TODD
GOING THROUGH MY PURSE.
714
00:33:15,467 --> 00:33:17,667
OH. I HATE
WHEN THEY DO THAT.
715
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:19,667
WAS HE LOOKING
FOR WEED OR MONEY?
716
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:22,233
OH, WHO KNOWS
AT THIS POINT?
717
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:25,100
ANYWAY, I'D KNOCKED
A COUPLE BACK,
718
00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:26,200
AND THINGS GOT HEATED.
719
00:33:26,233 --> 00:33:28,067
PRETTY SOON,
WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING
720
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:29,833
AND THROWING STUFF
AROUND THE APARTMENT.
721
00:33:29,867 --> 00:33:33,067
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, LADY
UPSTAIRS CALLS THE COPS ON US.
722
00:33:33,067 --> 00:33:34,600
AW, GIVE ME A BREAK.
723
00:33:34,633 --> 00:33:35,533
[ COUGHS ]
724
00:33:35,567 --> 00:33:37,600
[ SPITS ]
725
00:33:37,633 --> 00:33:41,467
SO NOW I GOT
SOME SOCIAL WORKER
726
00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:44,067
TRYING TO TELL ME
HOW TO RAISE MY BOY.
727
00:33:44,067 --> 00:33:46,400
KIDS -- BOY, IF I KNEW THEN
WHAT I KNOW NOW,
728
00:33:46,433 --> 00:33:49,067
I WOULD HAVE HAD
THAT HYSTERECTOMY 20 YEARS AGO.
729
00:33:49,067 --> 00:33:50,500
HA HA HA HA.
730
00:33:50,533 --> 00:33:54,367
[ WOMEN LAUGHING ]
731
00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:00,633
UH, BREE --
DON'T GET UP.
732
00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:02,467
I'LL BE QUICK.
733
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,633
ANDREW, ALL ANY PARENT
CAN DO
734
00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:06,467
IS TRY TO PROVIDE
THEIR CHILD
735
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,433
WITH THE TOOLS
TO SUCCEED IN LIFE --
736
00:34:08,467 --> 00:34:10,100
EDUCATION, LOVE,
737
00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:12,267
A GOOD, CLEAN, SAFE HOME.
738
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,633
WELL, I HAVE
GIVEN YOU THOSE THINGS,
739
00:34:13,667 --> 00:34:14,833
AND I AM THROUGH
FEELING GUILTY,
740
00:34:14,867 --> 00:34:16,367
SO IF YOU WANT
TO PISS YOUR LIFE AWAY
741
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,300
AND BLAME IT ON HOW HORRIBLE
THINGS ARE AT HOME,
742
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,167
YOU GO AHEAD, BUT I WANT IT
STATED FOR THE RECORD
743
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,567
THAT I AM A GOOD MOTHER.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
744
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,633
I AM A GOOD MOTHER.
745
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:28,767
BREE...
746
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,200
ANDREW JUST TOLD ME
HE THINKS
747
00:34:32,233 --> 00:34:33,467
HE MIGHT BE GAY.
748
00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,500
WHAT?
749
00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,833
THAT'S WHY HE WANTED ME
TO COME IN FIRST.
750
00:34:38,867 --> 00:34:42,067
HE THOUGHT
I COULD TAKE IT BETTER.
751
00:34:47,467 --> 00:34:50,433
WELL, HE WAS RIGHT.
I WILL BE WAITING IN THE CAR.
752
00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,067
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
753
00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:00,133
MRS. SOLIS.
754
00:35:00,167 --> 00:35:02,067
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
755
00:35:05,767 --> 00:35:07,100
OKAY.
756
00:35:07,133 --> 00:35:09,167
ARE YOUR ROOMMATES HERE?
757
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,767
NO. ARE YOU OKAY?
758
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,400
YEAH.
759
00:35:12,433 --> 00:35:14,733
WHAT'S THIS?
760
00:35:14,767 --> 00:35:16,233
THAT IS, UH...
761
00:35:16,267 --> 00:35:18,300
CARLOS JUST GOT
A LITTLE ROUGH.
762
00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:20,200
MADE ME SIGN
SOME PAPERS.
HE HURT YOU?
763
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,233
JOHN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
764
00:35:25,267 --> 00:35:26,767
I'M GOING
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.
765
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:27,800
NO, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO DO ANYTHING.
766
00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:29,567
WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET HIM
GET AWAY WITH THIS.
767
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,100
LOOK, YOU REALLY WANT
TO GET BACK AT HIM?
768
00:35:31,133 --> 00:35:32,133
THEN KISS ME.
769
00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:33,067
HOW'S THAT GOING
TO HELP?
770
00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:35,100
BECAUSE ONE DAY,
WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT,
771
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,433
I'M GOING TO TELL HIM
772
00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,667
HOW HE DROVE ME
RIGHT INTO YOUR ARMS,
773
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:40,367
AND THAT'S GOING
TO KILL HIM.
774
00:35:44,867 --> 00:35:47,300
AND TONIGHT JUST,
WHATEVER YOU DO,
775
00:35:47,333 --> 00:35:49,100
DON'T CALL ME BEAUTIFUL.
776
00:36:02,267 --> 00:36:04,833
OH, MORTY,
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
777
00:36:04,867 --> 00:36:06,800
HEY, MILLIE.
HI, MORTY.
778
00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:09,133
SUSIE, WHAT --
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
779
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,067
MOM -- I BROUGHT HER OVER.
780
00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:14,633
WHAT-- WHAT'S SHE DOING
OUT THERE?
781
00:36:14,667 --> 00:36:16,367
SHE SAYS
SHE WON'T COME IN
782
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,533
UNTIL YOU GO OUT
AND APOLOGIZE TO HER.
783
00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:20,167
FOR -- FOR WHAT?
784
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,533
FOR SHOVING HER.
785
00:36:21,567 --> 00:36:23,533
WELL, I ONLY SHOVED HER
'CAUSE SHE WOULDN'T --
786
00:36:23,567 --> 00:36:25,267
SHE WOULDN'T
STOP HITTING ME.
787
00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:26,433
WHY WAS SHE HITTING YOU?
788
00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:29,400
I THREW A --
THREW A BOOK AT HER.
789
00:36:29,433 --> 00:36:31,533
MORTY.
IT WAS --
IT WAS A PAPERBACK.
790
00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:33,467
WELL, EVEN SO...
791
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,800
AT LEAST I MISSED.
792
00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:37,333
I MEAN, SHE --
SHE HIT ME SQUARE IN THE GUT.
793
00:36:37,367 --> 00:36:39,233
YOU WANT TO SEE
THE BRUISE?
794
00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:41,233
THAT'S OKAY.
THAT'S OKAY.
795
00:36:41,267 --> 00:36:43,467
IT REALLY HURT.
796
00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:45,833
YEAH, I-I UNDERSTAND.
797
00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,300
SO...
798
00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:49,600
COULD YOU, UH,
799
00:36:49,633 --> 00:36:51,433
JUST GO OUT
AND APOLOGIZE?
800
00:36:51,467 --> 00:36:53,167
NO.
WHY?
801
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,233
BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT HER BACK.
802
00:36:55,267 --> 00:36:57,067
MORTY.
803
00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:58,233
LOOK, I LOVE HER,
804
00:36:58,267 --> 00:37:01,200
BUT THE -- THE PANCAKE SHACK
IS JUST STARTING TO TAKE OFF,
805
00:37:01,233 --> 00:37:03,600
AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
OPENING ANOTHER ONE.
806
00:37:03,633 --> 00:37:05,167
I MEAN, THAT--
THAT'S PRACTICALLY A CHAIN.
807
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,100
I-I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR HER HYSTERICS.
808
00:37:08,133 --> 00:37:10,533
YEAH, I SYMPATHIZE,
I REALLY DO.
809
00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:12,233
BUT YOU HAVE TO
TAKE HER BACK.
810
00:37:12,267 --> 00:37:13,433
WHY?
811
00:37:13,467 --> 00:37:15,700
BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO MOVE IN WITH ME.
812
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,467
OH.
813
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,800
MORTY, I-I'D LIKE TO HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN,
814
00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:21,767
AND AT MY AGE,
WITH A KID --
815
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,300
I MEAN, IF SHE MOVES
INTO MY HOUSE,
816
00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:25,067
EVEN FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS,
I'M DOOMED.
817
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:26,700
WA-WASN'T THERE A PLUMBER?
818
00:37:26,733 --> 00:37:28,633
YOUR MOTHER SAID YOU WERE
IN LOVE WITH A PLUMBER.
819
00:37:28,667 --> 00:37:31,400
I AM -- I MEAN, I WAS.
820
00:37:31,433 --> 00:37:33,367
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
821
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,300
I'M -- I'M SORRY.
822
00:37:35,333 --> 00:37:37,200
IF SHE MOVES IN,
SHE WILL BURN UP ALL MY OXYGEN,
823
00:37:37,233 --> 00:37:38,667
AND I NEED IT.
824
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,800
PLEASE, CAN'T YOU GIVE HER
ANOTHER CHANCE?
825
00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:44,467
YOU GUYS ARE
REALLY GOOD TOGETHER, YOU KNOW?
826
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,767
WHEN YOU'RE -- WHEN --
WHEN THERE'S NO VIOLENCE.
827
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,067
WELL, WE --
WE DO HAVE CHEMISTRY.
828
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:51,500
ABSOLUTELY.
829
00:37:51,533 --> 00:37:53,733
YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW,
THE SEX WAS LIKE...
830
00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,067
WOW.
831
00:37:55,067 --> 00:37:56,700
I MEAN,
THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME
832
00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:58,800
WE WERE COMING HOME
ON THE INTERSTATE --
833
00:37:58,833 --> 00:38:00,500
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SELL ME. GO.
834
00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:02,233
JUST GO TALK TO HER.
835
00:38:02,267 --> 00:38:04,500
NOW.
836
00:38:07,300 --> 00:38:08,800
OKAY.
837
00:38:16,533 --> 00:38:18,300
[ SIGHS ]
838
00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:20,233
THAT WAS
A MIGHTY BIG SIGH.
839
00:38:20,267 --> 00:38:22,233
I JUST KEEP THINKING
IT'S COMING, MILLIE,
840
00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:24,400
AND I CAN'T STOP IT.
WHAT'S THAT?
841
00:38:24,433 --> 00:38:27,067
THE DAY MY MOTHER WILL NEED
TO MOVE IN WITH ME,
842
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,333
AND I WON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
843
00:38:28,367 --> 00:38:29,733
MM-HMM.
I KNOW IT'S YEARS AWAY.
844
00:38:29,767 --> 00:38:32,067
SHE'S YOUTHFUL
AND VIBRANT, THANK GOD.
845
00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:34,300
[ MORTY AND SOPHIE YELLING ]
846
00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:35,500
BUT TIME FLIES.
847
00:38:35,533 --> 00:38:37,767
ONE DAY, SHE WON'T BE ABLE
TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF ANYMORE,
848
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,567
AND I'LL HAVE TO
STEP UP.
849
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,067
I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE.
850
00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,800
I THINK
IT'S NATURE'S LITTLE JOKE
851
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:48,100
THAT CHILDREN ULTIMATELY
END UP PARENTING THEIR PARENTS.
852
00:38:48,133 --> 00:38:51,100
WELL, WHEN THAT DAY COMES,
I'LL BE READY.
853
00:38:51,133 --> 00:38:53,067
HONEY, YOU BETTER
GET OUT THERE.
854
00:38:53,067 --> 00:38:55,067
STOP IT! AAH!
855
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,600
WHAT? STOP!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
856
00:38:59,633 --> 00:39:01,467
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
857
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,400
[ BOYS YELLING ]
858
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,167
HEY.
859
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,800
LOOK...
860
00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:38,133
I JUST WANTED
TO APOLOGIZE.
861
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:39,300
LYNETTE, DON'T.
862
00:39:40,767 --> 00:39:42,800
THE FACT THAT
YOU JUST CROSSED THAT STREET
863
00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:44,600
MEANS THE WORLD TO ME,
864
00:39:44,633 --> 00:39:47,600
AND IF ANYONE HERE
SHOULD APOLOGIZE, IT'S ME.
865
00:39:47,633 --> 00:39:49,667
THANK YOU.
866
00:39:54,233 --> 00:39:57,367
LOOKS LIKE TOM'S GOT
THE MOB UNDER CONTROL.
867
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,100
YOU WANT TO HAVE
SOME COFFEE,
868
00:39:59,133 --> 00:40:02,300
SIT AROUND,
BITCH ABOUT OUR KIDS?
869
00:40:02,333 --> 00:40:03,600
HA HA.
870
00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:04,633
I WOULD LOVE TO.
871
00:40:04,667 --> 00:40:05,633
OKAY.
872
00:40:11,633 --> 00:40:13,767
Mary Alice: CHILDREN
COME INTO THE WORLD
873
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,167
WITH THEIR OWN AGENDAS.
874
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,167
SOME TO BRIGHTEN OUR DAYS...
875
00:40:20,833 --> 00:40:26,167
SOME TO TEST OUR PATIENCE...
876
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:30,633
SOME TO GIVE US PURPOSE...
877
00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:39,733
SOME TO TAKE CARE OF US.
878
00:40:42,067 --> 00:40:45,833
YES, WHEN THEY COME,
879
00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:48,400
CHILDREN CHANGE EVERYTHING...
880
00:40:55,833 --> 00:41:00,467
ESPECIALLY WHEN
THEY'RE NOT INVITED.
59902
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