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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,867 --> 00:00:14,067 PREVIOUSLY ON "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"... 2 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,300 IS ANYBODY HERE? 3 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,767 THERE MAY HAVE BEEN A BREAKDOWN IN OUR CHAIN OF CARE. 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,233 YOU'RE TRYING TO BUY US OFF? 5 00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,767 SOMETIMES IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL... 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,033 THERE'S THIS PLACE CALLED CAMP HENNESSEY. 7 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:25,733 I'M NOT GOING TO ANY STUPID CAMP FOR JUVENILE DELINQUENTS. 8 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,367 YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. 9 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,267 PAST MISTAKES... 10 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,400 WE PULLED IT OUT OF ROCKWATER LAKE. 11 00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,567 I MUST HAVE SOLD SEVERAL HUNDRED OF THESE JUST LIKE IT. 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,033 I HAVE A LIST OF CUSTOMERS' NAMES ON FILE. 13 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,033 WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU. 14 00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:39,467 I WON'T TELL ANYONE. I'LL KEEP YOUR SECRET, DAD. 15 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,200 Mary Alice: THERE WERE MANY THINGS 16 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,667 GABRIELLE SOLIS KNEW FOR CERTAIN. 17 00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,367 SHE KNEW RED WAS HER COLOR. 18 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,100 SHE KNEW DIAMONDS WENT WITH EVERYTHING. 19 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:59,800 AND SHE KNEW MEN WERE ALL THE SAME. 20 00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:07,300 BUT THE ONE THING GABRIELLE KNEW ABOVE ALL ELSE... 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,067 SHE WOULD NEVER WANT CHILDREN. 22 00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:17,167 UNFORTUNATELY FOR GABRIELLE... 23 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,600 HER HUSBAND CARLOS FELT DIFFERENTLY. 24 00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,333 I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU. 25 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,233 OKAY, I'LL BITE. 26 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,100 WHY ARE YOU SO LUCKY? 27 00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:45,200 BECAUSE... 28 00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:47,700 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS, AND YOU DO. 29 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,700 OH, THAT. 30 00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:53,500 MOST MEN WOULD LEAVE OVER SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 31 00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,567 AND YOU'RE STILL HERE. 32 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,300 I'M GRATEFUL. 33 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,233 I KNOW THE SACRIFICE YOU'RE MAKING. 34 00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,600 THERE'S STILL A LITTLE PART OF ME 35 00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:03,333 THAT'S HOPING YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND. 36 00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:06,100 ONCE YOU HAD A BABY, 37 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,067 I THINK THAT YOU WOULD LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT -- 38 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,733 HONEY, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 39 00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:12,600 YOU NEVER KNOW. 40 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,633 NO, SOMETIMES YOU DO. 41 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,067 WELL, IT IS A SACRIFICE. 42 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,600 BUT YOU'RE WORTH IT. 43 00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:28,833 YES, GABRIELLE SOLIS KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT 44 00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:31,200 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE A MOTHER. 45 00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,200 BUT WHAT SHE COULDN'T KNOW 46 00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:37,533 WAS JUST HOW MUCH HER HUSBAND WANTED TO BE A FATHER... 47 00:02:37,567 --> 00:02:40,167 OR THAT HE'D BEEN TAMPERING WITH HER BIRTH CONTROL 48 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,667 FOR MONTHS... 49 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:47,267 OR THAT WITHIN ONE WEEK'S TIME... 50 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,167 SHE'D BE PREGNANT. 51 00:03:34,433 --> 00:03:37,133 Mary Alice: SATURDAYS ON WISTERIA LANE 52 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,167 BELONGED TO THE CHILDREN, 53 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,700 AND WHILE MOST WOULD SPEND THE DAY 54 00:03:41,733 --> 00:03:43,267 PRACTICING THEIR SPORTS... 55 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,833 OH-HO! 56 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:49,100 AND RIDING THEIR BIKES... 57 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,433 AND JUMPING THEIR ROPES, 58 00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:54,267 OTHERS WERE NO LONGER ENGAGED IN CHILD'S PLAY. 59 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:57,267 INDEED, SOME CHILDREN WERE BEING FORCED 60 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,333 TO GROW UP VERY QUICKLY. 61 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,067 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU ON THE WEEKEND. 62 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,067 WE JUST HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU. 63 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,767 ABOUT WHAT? 64 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,133 12 YEARS AGO, 65 00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,067 YOUR LATE WIFE PURCHASED A TOY CHEST. 66 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,500 TOY CHEST? 67 00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:14,100 YEAH, IT WAS ABOUT THIS BIG, 68 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,067 HAD LITTLE DANCING BEARS ON IT. 69 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:19,300 GOSH, I'M SORRY. 70 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,200 THE CRAFTSMAN WHO MAKES THESE CHESTS 71 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:23,100 KEEPS A LIST OF CUSTOMERS. 72 00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:26,133 APPARENTLY, YOU PURCHASED ONE IN AUGUST 1992. 73 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:29,067 YEAH, WE'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE THAT CHEST IS NOW. 74 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:32,067 WOW, I, UM, I WISH I COULD HELP YOU. 75 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:34,467 I DON'T RECALL ANY TOY CHEST. 76 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,733 I REMEMBER. 77 00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:40,267 YEAH, IT HAD LITTLE BEARS AND BALLOONS ON IT, RIGHT? YEAH, SON, THAT'S RIGHT. 78 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,700 YEAH, WE THREW THAT CHEST AWAY WHEN I WAS LITTLE. 79 00:04:42,733 --> 00:04:44,467 I WAS STANDING ON IT, AND IT JUST BUSTED. 80 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,233 REMEMBER, DAD? 81 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:47,800 VAGUELY. 82 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,333 I GUESS THAT'S ALL, THEN. 83 00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:57,100 THANK YOU BOTH FOR YOUR TIME. 84 00:04:57,133 --> 00:05:00,400 HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS CHEST, ANYWAY? 85 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,400 ONE JUST LIKE YOU HAD WASHED UP ON TORCH LAKE. 86 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:03,767 HAD A WOMAN IN IT. 87 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,333 A WOMAN? 88 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,300 SHE WAS ALL CHOPPED UP. 89 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,800 OBVIOUSLY, WE NEED TO TALK. 90 00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:29,200 YOU LIED TO ME. 91 00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,667 YOU SAID THAT IT WAS A MAN IN THE BOX. 92 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,200 NO, I DIDN'T LIE. 93 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:33,833 WELL, THE POLICEMAN SAID THAT IT WAS A WOMAN'S BODY. 94 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,733 OF COURSE YOU WERE LYING. 95 00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,133 I TOLD YOU A PRIVATE DETECTIVE HAD COME 96 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,067 TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM US. 97 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,767 I NEVER SAID IT WAS A MAN. 98 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,733 YOU DIDN'T? 99 00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:42,167 NO. 100 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800 WELL, I-I THOUGHT THAT -- NO. 101 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,333 NO, STOP. PLEASE -- STOP. 102 00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,433 I-I -- LOOK, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE LYING TO ME, OKAY? 103 00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,333 I-I KNOW THAT YOU'RE LYING. 104 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,400 FOR THE LAST TIME, 105 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,633 SOMEONE CAME AND TRIED TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM US. 106 00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,233 YES, A WOMAN. A WOMAN CAME. 107 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,100 YES, SHE TRIED TO STEAL YOU 108 00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:59,267 FROM THE ONLY FAMILY THAT YOU'VE EVER REALLY KNOWN. 109 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,233 AND WE COULDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN, 110 00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,200 AND WE DIDN'T. 111 00:06:03,233 --> 00:06:04,533 AND THAT... 112 00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:08,067 IS THE TRUTH. 113 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,700 Rex: WE CAN'T CANCEL NOW. IT'S TWO DAYS AWAY. 114 00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:17,100 REX, I'M NOT GOING. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. 115 00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,267 COUNSELING IS PART OF THE TREATMENT 116 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,700 AT CAMP HENNESSEY. YOU KNEW THAT. NOWHERE IN THAT BROCHURE 117 00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,700 DID IT SAY THAT WE WERE EXPECTED TO ATTEND. 118 00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,767 WHAT'S ANDREW GOING TO THINK IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP? 119 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,633 WELL, I AM MAKING HIM THIS CARE PACKAGE. 120 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,700 I MEAN, HE'LL KNOW THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT HIM. 121 00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:31,533 WHY ARE YOU PUTTING IN LEMON SQUARES? 122 00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,333 THEY TOLD US NOT TO SEND HIM SWEETS. 123 00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:35,267 WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. 124 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,133 I GUESS THEY FEEL BAKED GOODS FROM MOM 125 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,533 UNDERCUT THE BOOT CAMP EXPERIENCE. 126 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,567 FINE. I WON'T SEND THEM, BUT I THINK IT'S A STUPID RULE. 127 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,433 SO ARE YOU GOING TO THIS THING OR NOT? 128 00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:44,733 NO. WHY? 129 00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:46,600 BECAUSE THE MINUTE I GET THERE, 130 00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:49,333 ANDREW WILL START ATTACKING ME FOR ABANDONING HIM. 131 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,500 AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. 132 00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,500 THERE'S NO REASON TO FEEL GUILTY, YOU KNOW. 133 00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:55,533 YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD FOR HIM. 134 00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:58,333 I DON'T FEEL GUILTY. 135 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:02,533 OKAY. 136 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,333 PLEASE, CHRISTIE, THERE'S NO WAY 137 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,067 THAT I CAN GET ANOTHER BABYSITTER 138 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,300 THIS LATE IN THE DAY -- PARKER, KNOCK IT OFF. 139 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,533 NO. 140 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,267 BECAUSE I'M HAVING DRINKS WITH FRIENDS 141 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,467 I USED TO WORK WITH, AND THEY NEVER CALLED, 142 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,200 AND IF I BLOW THEM OFF, THAT'S IT, I'LL JUST -- 143 00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:32,100 I'M DEAD TO THEM. 144 00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:35,800 NO, I CAN'T CALL PATTY BINKS. 145 00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,633 BECAUSE SHE STEALS THINGS. 146 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,433 DAMN IT, CHRISTIE, YOU'RE 13 YEARS OLD. 147 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,667 YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF TRIPS TO THE MALL AHEAD OF YOU. 148 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:45,433 OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY I RAISED MY VOICE. 149 00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,600 I'M CALM. 150 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,167 SO I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT THIS IS ABOUT MONEY. 151 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,100 SO WHAT IS IT THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE? 152 00:07:53,133 --> 00:07:54,767 $100? WELL, THAT'S EXTORTION. 153 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,500 THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GOING TO -- HELLO? 154 00:07:58,533 --> 00:07:59,767 HELLO? 155 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,700 PARKER, I SWEAR, I WILL SPANK YOU. 156 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,400 KNOCK IT OFF. 157 00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,667 HI, MRS. BINKS. IS PATTY THERE? 158 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,200 THANK YOU. 159 00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:16,400 HI, HONEY. I'M BACK. 160 00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:18,100 HEY, SWEETIE. 161 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:20,567 THIS IS MR. STEINBERG, THE ATTORNEY FROM THE HOSPITAL. 162 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,600 OH, HAVE WE MET? 163 00:08:22,633 --> 00:08:24,767 YES, MRS. SOLIS. WE'VE MET. 164 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,700 DON'T YOU REMEMBER? 165 00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,667 IT WAS AFTER MAMA DIED. 166 00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,533 APPARENTLY, THE HOSPITAL WAS NEGLIGENT 167 00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,067 AND AGREED TO A 7-FIGURE SETTLEMENT CHECK, 168 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,533 A CHECK I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT. 169 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:39,433 OH, THAT. 170 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,233 UH... 171 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,067 MR. STEINBERG... 172 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,500 I WAS JUST LEAVING. 173 00:08:58,633 --> 00:08:59,567 WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! 174 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,333 WAIT, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN -- 175 00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:02,767 NO, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! 176 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,600 BECAUSE I COULDN'T TRUST YOU TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION. 177 00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:06,600 THE RIGHT DECISION WAS TO USE THAT MONEY FOR MY LAWYERS! 178 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,500 WE COULD HAVE FOUGHT THE INDICTMENT, 179 00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:10,567 AND THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO TAKE THE PLEA BARGAIN! 180 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,633 IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE PLEA DEAL, 181 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,833 THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HAVE SEIZED THE SETTLEMENT. 182 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:14,833 OH, WE COULD HAVE FOUGHT THAT IN COURT. 183 00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:16,300 EXACTLY, AND THEN YOU WOULD HAVE 184 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:17,200 BLOWN ALL THE MONEY ON THE LAWYERS. 185 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,267 WHO CARES?! 186 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,067 IF THERE WAS A CHANCE I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO JAIL. 187 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,400 YOU HAD LAOTIAN CONVICTS SEWING CASUAL WEAR 188 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,733 FOR 2 CENTS AN HOUR. 189 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:25,733 DON'T YOU THINK YOU DESERVE A TIME-OUT? 190 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,367 EIGHT MONTHS. 191 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,700 THANKS TO YOU, I'M GOING AWAY FOR EIGHT MONTHS. 192 00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:31,900 AND WHEN YOU GET OUT, 193 00:09:31,933 --> 00:09:34,367 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE MONEY TO START OVER WITH THANKS TO ME. 194 00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:39,367 YOU KNOW, ONCE YOU CALM DOWN, 195 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,100 YOU'RE GOING TO REALIZE I DID THE RIGHT THING, 196 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:45,233 AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I'D APPRECIATE AN APOLOGY. 197 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,500 [ TIRES SQUEAL ] 198 00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:57,667 [ CRASH ] 199 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,500 GRANDMA'S HERE. 200 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:14,167 NOW, THAT IS JUST PERFECT. 201 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,667 STAY PUT. 202 00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,733 I AM SO SORRY. 203 00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,533 HEY, MOM. 204 00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,767 OH, HEY, SUSIE. 205 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,367 MM, I GOOFED. 206 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,700 WHAT HAPPENED? 207 00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:28,533 OH, YOU KNOW ME. 208 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:30,300 NO DEPTH PERCEPTION WHATSOEVER. 209 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:33,200 I'M STUNNED THEY EVEN ISSUED ME A LICENSE. 210 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,400 SO YOU'RE SUSAN'S MOM. 211 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,667 YEAH. 212 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,700 I'M SOPHIE BREMER. AND YOU ARE... 213 00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,200 MIKE DELFINO. 214 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,133 OH. 215 00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:43,333 YOU'RE MIKE? 216 00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,767 OH, MY GOD! 217 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,467 SUSAN'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. 218 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,467 WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE. GIVE ME A HUG. 219 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,433 OH. 220 00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,167 OH! 221 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,500 MOM, UH... 222 00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:58,333 MIKE AND I AREN'T TOGETHER ANYMORE. 223 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,600 OH. 224 00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:02,267 I'M SORRY. 225 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:06,533 I-I GUESS I JUST MADE THIS PRETTY AWKWARD, HUH? 226 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,500 YEAH, YOU -- YOU REALLY DID. 227 00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,433 SO LET'S JUST CALL THE INSURANCE COMPANY. 228 00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:12,167 OKAY. 229 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,467 WELL... 230 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,567 IT'S NICE MEETING YOU ANYWAY, MIKE. 231 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,067 YEAH. YOU TOO. 232 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,467 AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT YOU'RE SUSAN'S MOM. 233 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,300 I KNOW. I LOOK TOO YOUNG. 234 00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,600 I GOT PREGNANT WHEN I WAS A TINY TEENAGER. 235 00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,267 OKAY. 236 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,800 IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I GOT DRUNK -- EVER. 237 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,067 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 238 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,400 LET'S GO. 239 00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:30,333 HER FATHER WAS A MARINE. 240 00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:33,267 AFTERWARDS, HE GAVE ME THREE OF HIS MEDALS. 241 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,067 MOM. HA HA HA! WHAT? 242 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,267 LET'S JUST GO INSIDE AND CALL THE INSURANCE COMPANY. 243 00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:41,067 OH, RIGHT. 244 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,433 WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT? 245 00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,367 I USED TO HAVE ALL THESE QUESTIONS 246 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,400 ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO BE THE WAY YOU ARE. 247 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:58,367 THEY WERE ALL JUST ANSWERED. 248 00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,400 HI! HA HA HA HA HA. 249 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,500 HI. 250 00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,533 HI. HA HA. 251 00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,300 WHAT'S GOING ON? 252 00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,733 OH, UM... 253 00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:30,300 MY BABYSITTER CANCELED. 254 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,500 OH, LYNETTE, I-I'M SO SWAMPED TODAY. 255 00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:34,133 MY -- MY HOUSE IS A MESS, 256 00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:36,333 AND I'VE GOT MILLIONS OF ERRANDS TO RUN, SO -- 257 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:38,233 PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. 258 00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,700 TODAY I HAVE A CHANCE TO REJOIN THE HUMAN RACE 259 00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:43,567 FOR A FEW HOURS. THERE ARE ACTUAL ADULTS 260 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,800 WAITING FOR ME WITH MARGARITAS. 261 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,133 LOOK, I'M IN A DRESS. I HAVE MAKEUP ON. 262 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,067 IF IT WERE ANY OTHER DAY -- 263 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,300 OH, FOR GOD'S SAKES, BREE, I'M WEARING PANTYHOSE. 264 00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:55,367 BRING THEM IN. 265 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,400 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. OKAY, IN YOU GO. 266 00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,400 AND THEN THE POLICE SHOWED ME HIS MUG SHOT. 267 00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:01,733 NO. 268 00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:03,633 YES. MIKE SERVED TIME FOR SELLING DRUGS 269 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:04,733 AND MANSLAUGHTER. 270 00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,500 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 271 00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:07,767 WELL, IT'S TRUE. 272 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,400 HE HAS SUCH NICE MANNERS, YOU KNOW? 273 00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:11,800 I KNOW. 274 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,233 SUSIE... 275 00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,300 I DON'T WANT YOU WORRYING TOO MUCH 276 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,333 ABOUT THIS MIKE THING. 277 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:21,067 THE RIGHT MAN WILL COME ALONG. 278 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,533 JUST GIVE IT TIME. 279 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:24,167 I THINK I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP ENTIRELY 280 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,733 IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND MORTY. 281 00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,200 MORTY? 282 00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:28,667 YEAH, YOU KNOW. 283 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,567 IT'S THE THIRD TIME AROUND FOR BOTH OF YOU, 284 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,400 AND YOU'RE REALLY CLICKING. 285 00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:34,800 UGH. GIVES ME HOPE. 286 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,300 WHAT'S WRONG? 287 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,433 NOTHING, NOTHING. 288 00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:42,200 UM, I'M JUST... 289 00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:43,433 I'M, UH, TIRED. 290 00:13:43,467 --> 00:13:46,300 YOU'RE NOT TIRED. YOU TOOK A NAP. WHAT IS IT? 291 00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,200 I LEFT MORTY. 292 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:51,267 WHAT? 293 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:52,233 WHY? 294 00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:54,167 BECAUSE HE SHOVED ME. 295 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,333 MORTY? NO. 296 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,700 YOU THINK I'M LYING? 297 00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:58,667 FINE. 298 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,367 WHY WOULD HE SHOVE YOU? 299 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,567 BECAUSE I CONFRONTED HIM 300 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,133 ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME HE'S SPENDING 301 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,367 AT THAT DAMN PANCAKE RESTAURANT -- 302 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,733 IF THAT'S WHERE HE'S REALLY BEEN. 303 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,100 OH, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. MORTY? 304 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,333 YOU THINK MEN HIS AGE DON'T HAVE NEEDS? 305 00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:14,267 YOU SHOULD SEE THE WAITRESSES HE HIRES. 306 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,567 EVERY YEAR, THEY GET YOUNGER AND YOUNGER. 307 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,067 WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST FEEL THAT WAY 308 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,367 'CAUSE EVERY YEAR YOU GET OLDER AND OLDER. 309 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,500 WELL, THAT'S A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY. 310 00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:23,300 I'M SORRY. 311 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,133 I'M NOT THAT OLD. I SAID I WAS SORRY. 312 00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,367 PEOPLE THINK WE'RE SISTERS. 313 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,533 WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU TELL THEM THAT. 314 00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:30,767 ONE TIME. 315 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,467 HA HA. YOU'VE GOT TO LET GO OF THAT. 316 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,733 OKAY, LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING 317 00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:37,500 THAT I DON'T THINK MORTY CHEATED ON YOU. 318 00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,533 WELL, HE DID SHOVE ME. 319 00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:41,800 AND THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS BE SUPPORTIVE. 320 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:43,433 YOU'RE RIGHT. 321 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,733 YOU'RE RIGHT. 322 00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:46,633 HE ALSO THREW A BOOK AT ME. 323 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,167 OH, COME ON. 324 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,233 HEY -- AH. 325 00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:52,067 I MEAN... 326 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,767 HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. 327 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,733 HA. THANK YOU. 328 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,200 PORTER, HONEY, THOSE COOKIES ARE HOT. 329 00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:12,100 JUST WAIT A FEW MINUTES, 330 00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:14,067 AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU ONE WHEN THEY'RE COOL, OKAY? 331 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,167 UM... 332 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,800 YOU KNOW, PICTURES ARE PRETTIER 333 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,633 IF YOU COLOR INSIDE THE LINES. 334 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,400 [ Sighs ] WELL, ART IS SUBJECTIVE. 335 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,233 PORTER, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? 336 00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,333 BUT I'M HUNGRY. 337 00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:33,133 WELL, THEN, I WILL FIX YOU 338 00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,467 A VERY NICE BOWL OF PEACHES AND COTTAGE CHEESE. 339 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,133 EW, BARF. 340 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:39,433 DON'T BE COMMON, YOUNG MAN. NOW COME ON. 341 00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,633 IF YOU PLAY AROUND WITH THOSE COOKIES ONE MORE TIME, 342 00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,067 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SPANK YOU. 343 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,533 WE DON'T GET SPANKED. 344 00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:45,667 REALLY? 345 00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,433 MOMMY ALWAYS SAYS SHE'S GOING TO, 346 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,067 BUT SHE NEVER DOES. 347 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,800 WELL, I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY, 348 00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,700 AND IF YOU MISBEHAVE IN MY HOUSE, 349 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:55,233 YOU WILL GET SPANKED. 350 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:58,400 SO BE GOOD. 351 00:15:58,433 --> 00:15:59,833 HOW'S MY GIRL? 352 00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:01,300 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 353 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,333 [ CRIES ] 354 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,600 [ CRASH ] 355 00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:13,600 [ GASPS ] 356 00:16:13,633 --> 00:16:15,567 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 357 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,200 PORTER, I WARNED YOU. 358 00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:19,100 I'M SORRY. I'LL BE GOOD. 359 00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:23,533 THOSE COOKIES WERE MADE FROM SCRATCH. 360 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:26,300 YOUR FATE IS SEALED. 361 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,833 COME HERE. 362 00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,633 NO, NO! 363 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:30,600 [ WHACK ] OW! 364 00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:31,567 [ WHACK ] OW! 365 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,500 [ WHACK ] OW! 366 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,600 [ WHACK ] OW! 367 00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:37,333 WHAT'S THAT? 368 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,200 IT'S CALLED A POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENT. 369 00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,167 IT'S A LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT -- 370 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,433 NO, I KNOW WHAT A POST-NUP IS. 371 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:47,167 WHAT IS IT DOING ON MY COFFEE TABLE? 372 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,300 WELL, I CAN FORGIVE THAT STUNT YOU PULLED 373 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,700 WITH THE SETTLEMENT CHECK 374 00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:52,200 IF I'M SURE THAT YOU'LL REALLY BE AROUND 375 00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:53,700 WHEN I GET OUT OF JAIL. 376 00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:55,667 HMM. 377 00:16:55,700 --> 00:17:00,400 AND THE POST-NUP CHANGES THE TERMS OF THE PRE-NUP, SO... 378 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,267 SO IF YOU TRY AND DIVORCE ME WHILE I'M GONE, 379 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,400 YOU GET NOTHING. 380 00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:07,267 YOU DON'T TRUST ME? 381 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,833 AFRAID NOT. 382 00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,233 WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, 383 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,200 BECAUSE I'M NOT SIGNING THAT PIECE OF PAPER. 384 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:15,600 YOU'RE A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, GABRIELLE, 385 00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:17,600 BUT... 386 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:20,400 YOU'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT. 387 00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,767 SEE, IF YOU DON'T SIGN IT, 388 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,833 I'LL PULL THE PLUG ON THE SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT, 389 00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,667 DIVORCE YOU, 390 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:29,167 AND THEN YOU GET WHAT AMOUNTS TO ABOUT 50% 391 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,567 OF OUR CURRENT SAVINGS, 392 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,267 WHICH IS BASICALLY NOTHING. 393 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:38,800 SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW, CARLOS -- 394 00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:42,433 SIGN THE PAPER AND JUMP RIGHT BACK INTO YOUR ARMS? 395 00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,567 BABY, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU. 396 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,367 YOU KNOW I THINK YOU'RE THE PERFECT WOMAN. 397 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,100 OH, BUT I'M NOT. 398 00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,100 I HAVE FLAWS. 399 00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:58,767 FLAWS? 400 00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800 MM-HMM. 401 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,633 I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. 402 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,667 REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN YOU WERE IN JAIL 403 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,433 AND YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR SECRET COMPARTMENT, 404 00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,500 AND YOU TOLD ME TO BURN THE PAPERS 405 00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:11,267 THAT I FOUND IN THERE? 406 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,433 WELL, ME BEING PRETTY, AND THEREFORE STUPID, 407 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,600 I FORGOT. 408 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:17,433 YOU DIDN'T BURN THE PAPERS. 409 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:18,800 WORSE. 410 00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,733 I READ THEM. 411 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,167 OKAY, OKAY -- YOU HAVE SOME NERVE TALKING TO ME ABOUT TRUST, 412 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,700 WHEN YOU HAVE A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT 413 00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,067 IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS. 414 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,767 THAT WAS A SAFETY NET FOR BOTH OF US. 415 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,367 I'LL BET. 416 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,300 HAVE YOU TOLD ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS? 417 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,400 NO, BUT I COULD. 418 00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:34,267 HEY, IS THAT WHY THE PROSECUTION 419 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,200 DIDN'T HAVE A CASE AGAINST YOU? 420 00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:38,200 THEY COULDN'T FIND THE PROFITS YOU MADE. 421 00:18:38,233 --> 00:18:39,800 SO IF I WERE YOU, CARLOS, 422 00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,800 I WOULDN'T MENTION THE WORDS "DIVORCE," 423 00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:45,333 "TRUST," OR "POST-NUP" EVER AGAIN. 424 00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,767 YOU DON'T WANT TO PISS ME OFF. 425 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,767 I KNOW, BABY. 426 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,567 IT HURTS TO LOSE. 427 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,567 ANTE UP. 428 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,667 WELL, LOOK AT ME. 429 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,567 FINALLY IN ON ONE OF YOUR LEGENDARY POKER PARTIES. 430 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,667 SUSAN'S ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW MUCH FUN YOU GIRLS HAVE. 431 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,067 THE RULES ARE SIMPLE -- 432 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,767 WE PLAY FOR CASH, THE DEALER PICKS THE GAME, 433 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,167 AND UNSUBSTANTIATED GOSSIP IS ENCOURAGED. 434 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,400 AH. 435 00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,400 BREE, THANKS AGAIN FOR WATCHING MY BOYS. 436 00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:27,667 ARE YOU SURE THEY WEREN'T TOO MUCH TO HANDLE? 437 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,633 OH, NO, WE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME, 438 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,133 ALTHOUGH I THINK PORTER HAD A LITTLE LESS FUN. 439 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:33,067 OKAY, I'LL BET. 440 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,533 SO, SOPHIE, SUSAN SAYS YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO THE SPA TOMORROW. 441 00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:36,800 IS THAT AN ALL-DAY THING? 442 00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,300 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PORTER HAD LESS FUN? 443 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:39,667 I'LL RAISE. 444 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,167 WELL, HE WAS MISBEHAVING, 445 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,567 SO I HAD TO PUNISH HIM. 446 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,467 SO, YES, SUSAN IS TREATING ME 447 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,067 TO AN ENTIRE DAY OF BEAUTY -- 448 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,500 SO WHEN YOU SAY PUNISHMENT, 449 00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:49,300 WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 450 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,733 OH, I HAD TO SPANK HIM. 451 00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:53,300 OKAY, I WILL RE-RAISE. 452 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,167 YOU SPANKED MY SON? 453 00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:01,267 LAS PRECIS SPA. HA HA. 454 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,233 YEP, THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING. 455 00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:07,700 LYNETTE, IS THERE A PROBLEM? 456 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,167 TOM AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN HITTING OUR KIDS. 457 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,433 I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT. 458 00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,467 SORRY. I-I DIDN'T KNOW. 459 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,667 IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 460 00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:18,100 OF COURSE, I'M SOMEWHAT SURPRISED 461 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,167 YOU DON'T SPANK THEM. 462 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,833 I MEAN, EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY'RE A LITTLE BIT... 463 00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,233 OUT OF CONTROL. 464 00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:26,600 WOW, I'M JUST DRAGGING TODAY. 465 00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:29,100 SHOULD WE PUT ON ANOTHER POT OF COFFEE? 466 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,067 YEAH, I'LL DO IT. 467 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,100 I'LL -- I'LL FOLD. 468 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,033 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT, BREE. 469 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,233 I'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT PARENTING, 470 00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:40,167 AND I FEEL SO BLESSED TO BE GETTING SAGE ADVICE 471 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,300 FROM SUCH AN IMPECCABLE MOTHER LIKE YOU. 472 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:44,033 I MEAN, YOUR KIDS TURNED OUT PERFECT, 473 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,500 AS LONG AS YOU DON'T COUNT ANDREW. WHERE IS HE AGAIN? 474 00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:48,667 HMM? 475 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,167 SOME KIND OF A BOOT CAMP FOR JUVENILE DELINQUENTS? 476 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,133 OKAY, GIRLS. 477 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,033 I NEVER SAID I WAS PERFECT. 478 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,400 OH, HONEY, NOBODY'S BLAMING YOU. 479 00:20:56,433 --> 00:20:57,667 THE HELL I'M NOT. 480 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,267 LYNETTE. 481 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:08,767 IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME... 482 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,300 LYNETTE, WILL YOU GO AFTER HER? 483 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,067 SHE SPANKED MY SON. 484 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:18,467 I'M NOT APOLOGIZING. 485 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:26,167 USUALLY POKER IS MORE FUN THAN THIS. 486 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,233 SO HELP ME, IF YOU DON'T BACK ME UP ON THIS, 487 00:21:28,267 --> 00:21:29,567 I WILL LOSE IT. 488 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,800 YES, BREE SHOULDN'T HAVE SPANKED PORTER, 489 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,700 BUT IT'S NOT LIKE SHE HURT HIM. 490 00:21:33,733 --> 00:21:35,200 THAT IS NOT THE POINT. 491 00:21:35,233 --> 00:21:37,133 YOU DON'T SPANK OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN. 492 00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:40,400 HE WAS MISBEHAVING. SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 493 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,733 B-BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, 494 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,767 SHE DEFINITELY CROSSED THE LINE. 495 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,233 YEAH, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT SHE DID. 496 00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,667 SHE COULD HAVE TRIED SOMETHING ELSE, 497 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:48,400 LIKE A TIME-OUT, OR SHE COULD HAVE SIMPLY 498 00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:50,067 THREATENED TO SPANK HIM. 499 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,800 YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT WORKS OUT SO WELL WHEN WE DO IT. 500 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,333 IT DOES WORK. 501 00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:56,767 IT DOES WORK MOST OF THE TIME. 502 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,800 IT USED TO WORK. 503 00:21:57,833 --> 00:21:59,533 THEY'VE FIGURED OUT THAT IT'S AN EMPTY THREAT. 504 00:21:59,567 --> 00:22:00,667 THEY'RE ONTO US. 505 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,833 MY MOM USED TO BEAT THE HELL 506 00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:04,833 OUT OF MY SISTERS AND ME, 507 00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:06,800 AND I WON'T DO IT. 508 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,533 I WILL NOT BECOME MY MOTHER. 509 00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,200 FINE. 510 00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:19,300 BUT THE BOYS ARE GETTING OLDER AND SMARTER, 511 00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,700 AND EVENTUALLY -- 512 00:22:20,733 --> 00:22:22,667 BELIEVE ME, EVENTUALLY THEY'RE GOING TO FIGURE OUT 513 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:24,233 THAT THEY OUTNUMBER US, AND THEN... 514 00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:26,733 WE'RE SCREWED. 515 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:29,733 EXACTLY. 516 00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:32,600 [ GROANS ] 517 00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:35,100 [ PLAYING FOLK MUSIC ] 518 00:22:41,833 --> 00:22:43,400 EXCUSE ME, ZACHARY. 519 00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:45,733 WOULD YOU MIND HELPING ME WITH THESE BAGS? 520 00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:48,700 THERE'S SOME BANANA BREAD IN IT FOR YOU IF YOU DO. 521 00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:52,433 UH, YEAH, SURE. 522 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:56,200 THIS IS REALLY GOOD, MRS. TILLMAN. 523 00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:57,400 THANKS A LOT. 524 00:22:57,433 --> 00:22:58,667 YOU'RE WELCOME, ZACHARY. 525 00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:00,600 YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN 526 00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:01,800 IN MRS. HUBER'S HOUSE BEFORE. 527 00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:04,233 OBVIOUSLY, YOU HAVEN'T MISSED MUCH. 528 00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:08,567 THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE GOOD TASTE GOES TO DIE. 529 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,600 SO... 530 00:23:12,633 --> 00:23:15,333 I HEARD YOU AND YOUR FATHER ARGUING THE OTHER DAY. 531 00:23:15,367 --> 00:23:16,733 EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT AT HOME? 532 00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:20,433 YEAH. WE JUST HAVE PROBLEMS SOMETIMES. 533 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:23,400 I BET YOU MISS YOUR MOTHER. 534 00:23:23,433 --> 00:23:26,167 I'M SURE THINGS WERE... 535 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,233 DIFFERENT WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE. 536 00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:33,200 SUCH A WARM, LOVING WOMAN. 537 00:23:33,233 --> 00:23:35,433 Y-YOU... 538 00:23:37,433 --> 00:23:39,333 KNEW MY MOTHER? 539 00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:41,700 YEP. YEARS AGO IN UTAH. 540 00:23:41,733 --> 00:23:43,367 WE WORKED TOGETHER. 541 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,133 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 542 00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:48,767 IT'S TRUE. 543 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,667 IN FACT... 544 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:54,633 I'LL TELL YOU A SECRET. 545 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:58,067 I ONCE MET YOU WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BABY. 546 00:23:58,067 --> 00:24:00,400 REALLY? 547 00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,267 MM-HMM. 548 00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:08,067 YOUR MOTHER LOVED YOU SO MUCH, ZACHARY. 549 00:24:10,133 --> 00:24:12,700 OF ALL THE THINGS I REMEMBER, 550 00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:16,600 I REMEMBER THAT THE MOST. 551 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:31,167 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I REMEMBER? 552 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,100 HOW LOVELY 553 00:24:33,133 --> 00:24:35,700 YOUR ORIGINAL NAME WAS. 554 00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:43,433 DANA. 555 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,533 ISN'T THIS NICE? 556 00:24:57,567 --> 00:25:00,167 OH, JUST THE TWO OF US GIRLS HANGING OUT, 557 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,433 GETTING PRETTY. 558 00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:03,767 OH, THANK YOU. 559 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,633 MY PLEASURE. 560 00:25:06,667 --> 00:25:09,167 SO I WAS THINKING 561 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,133 MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL MORTY. 562 00:25:11,167 --> 00:25:13,500 YOU KNOW, GET STARTED WORKING THINGS OUT. 563 00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:16,167 WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT 564 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,800 WITH A MAN WHO ABUSES ME? 565 00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:19,600 [ GASPS ] 566 00:25:19,633 --> 00:25:22,500 OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GASP. MY MOTHER EXAGGERATES. 567 00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:24,733 SHE WON'T BE HAPPY TILL I HAVE BRUISES. 568 00:25:24,767 --> 00:25:27,333 OKAY, UM, CAN WE JUST FOCUS? WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS 569 00:25:27,367 --> 00:25:29,633 HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN 570 00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:32,167 IF YOU DON'T GO BACK TO MORTY? 571 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,100 HA HA. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 572 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,267 WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE, 573 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,767 YOU DON'T LIKE TO WORK. 574 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,300 I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY MORTY, 575 00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:41,100 SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO PAY YOU ALIMONY. 576 00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:43,167 IT JUST -- IF YOU DON'T GO BACK TO THIS MAN 577 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,067 WHO ALLEGEDLY SHOVED YOU ONCE IN FIVE YEARS, 578 00:25:46,067 --> 00:25:47,533 WHAT ARE YOUR OPTIONS? 579 00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:50,733 I THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITH YOU. 580 00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,233 WHAT?! AAH! 581 00:25:52,267 --> 00:25:54,167 OH! OH! OH! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 582 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,433 YOU KICKED ME! 583 00:25:55,467 --> 00:25:58,067 OH, I'M SO SORRY. I WAS STARTLED. 584 00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,233 HERE, HERE, LEAN YOUR HEAD BACK. 585 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:02,067 I'M NOT SAYING PERMANENTLY. JUST FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. 586 00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:03,133 YOU BROKE MY NOSE. 587 00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:04,567 NO, NO, IT'S JUST BANGED A LITTLE. 588 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,600 TILL I GET BACK ON MY FEET. 589 00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:07,567 CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? 590 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,700 SHOULD WE CALL 911? 591 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,433 NO, JUST A NOSEBLEED. SHE'S FINE. 592 00:26:11,467 --> 00:26:12,767 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE EXCITED BY THE IDEA. 593 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,433 IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT EXCITED. 594 00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:17,167 I'M NOT STUPID, SUSAN. 595 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,100 IT'S OBVIOUS YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE. 596 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:22,067 NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE! 597 00:26:22,067 --> 00:26:23,400 MOM, DON'T GO. MOM. 598 00:26:23,433 --> 00:26:25,133 COME BACK. 599 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,333 YOU KNOW, I NEED TO -- 600 00:26:26,367 --> 00:26:28,267 WE'RE GOOD, RIGHT? 601 00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:30,133 JUST GO. YEAH. 602 00:26:30,167 --> 00:26:33,700 [ SOBBING AND WAILING ] 603 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:17,633 WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED YET? 604 00:27:17,667 --> 00:27:20,633 I WANTED TO WEAR ANDREW'S FAVORITE COLOR, 605 00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:23,800 AND THEN I REALIZED THAT... 606 00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:26,500 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 607 00:27:26,533 --> 00:27:28,267 OH, HONEY, I THINK THE FACT 608 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,067 THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME AT ALL 609 00:27:30,067 --> 00:27:31,167 WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY. 610 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,733 YOURS IS BLUE, 611 00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:35,667 DANIELLE LOVES PINK, 612 00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:37,333 AND I HAVE NO IDEA 613 00:27:37,367 --> 00:27:40,167 WHAT MY OWN SON'S FAVORITE COLOR IS. 614 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,100 I'M TELLING YOU, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 615 00:27:42,133 --> 00:27:43,733 HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER? 616 00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,367 OF COURSE IT MATTERS. BREE -- 617 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,800 THAT IS WHAT MAKES A GOOD MOTHER -- 618 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:49,100 SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THEIR CHILD INSIDE AND OUT 619 00:27:49,133 --> 00:27:51,100 SO THAT IF THEY GET IN TROUBLE, THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO. 620 00:27:51,133 --> 00:27:54,100 [ SIGHS ] 621 00:27:54,133 --> 00:27:57,067 I DON'T KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH. 622 00:28:01,533 --> 00:28:03,700 YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER. 623 00:28:08,267 --> 00:28:12,100 BROWN OR GREEN? I JUST DON'T KNOW. 624 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,200 I'M GOING TO WAIT IN THE CAR. 625 00:28:18,233 --> 00:28:20,100 WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. 626 00:28:27,133 --> 00:28:29,067 GREEN. 627 00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:31,633 I'LL GO WITH THE GREEN. EVERYBODY LOVES GREEN. 628 00:28:52,433 --> 00:28:54,700 I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT SIGNING THIS. 629 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,300 OH, I THINK YOU ARE. 630 00:28:57,333 --> 00:29:00,633 BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I WILL DIVORCE YOU. 631 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,433 THEN I'LL GO TO THE POLICE. 632 00:29:05,467 --> 00:29:07,700 AND TELL THEM WHAT? 633 00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:09,633 THERE'S A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS 634 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:11,200 THAT NO LONGER EXISTS? 635 00:29:11,233 --> 00:29:13,667 YOU MOVED THE MONEY? 636 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,500 OF COURSE I MOVED THE MONEY. 637 00:29:17,367 --> 00:29:19,500 WELL, THAT WAS RISKY. 638 00:29:19,533 --> 00:29:22,200 I MEAN, THE FEDS ARE WATCHING YOU RIGHT NOW. 639 00:29:22,233 --> 00:29:23,533 I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. 640 00:29:23,567 --> 00:29:27,300 I COULDN'T JUST LET YOU MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME. 641 00:29:34,833 --> 00:29:35,767 AAH! 642 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,267 OH, STOP, CARLOS, STOP IT! 643 00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:39,633 PUT ME DOWN! OKAY. 644 00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:41,467 PUT ME DOWN! 645 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,633 LET ME GO! 646 00:29:43,667 --> 00:29:44,633 AAH! 647 00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,567 STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME! 648 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,800 CARLOS! 649 00:29:49,167 --> 00:29:51,733 SIGN IT. 650 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:56,600 SIGN IT! 651 00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:05,433 [ GABRIELLE SOBBING ] 652 00:30:05,467 --> 00:30:08,833 I KNOW, BABY. 653 00:30:08,867 --> 00:30:11,033 IT HURTS TO LOSE. 654 00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:41,600 MR. AND MRS. VAN DE KAMP? 655 00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:45,133 UH, YES, UM, IS IT OUR TURN? 656 00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:47,133 WELL, UH, SORT OF. ANDREW'S WAITING INSIDE, 657 00:30:47,167 --> 00:30:48,833 BUT... 658 00:30:48,867 --> 00:30:50,400 WHAT'S WRONG? 659 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:53,033 WELL, HE SAID HE WON'T GO FORWARD WITH THE SESSION 660 00:30:53,067 --> 00:30:54,633 IF HIS MOTHER'S INVOLVED. 661 00:30:54,667 --> 00:30:57,033 HE ONLY WANTS TO TALK TO HIS DAD. 662 00:30:57,067 --> 00:30:59,400 WE DROVE 200 MILES TO BE HERE TODAY. 663 00:30:59,433 --> 00:31:00,467 THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 664 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,367 I-I SHARE YOUR FRUSTRATION. 665 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,500 ALL RIGHT, TO HELL WITH HIM, THEN. 666 00:31:04,533 --> 00:31:06,367 WE'RE GOING HOME. NO. 667 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,500 I AM NOT GOING TO LET HIM INSULT YOU LIKE THIS. 668 00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:09,833 HE BLAMES ME FOR HIS BEING HERE. 669 00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,067 HE BLAMES ME FOR EVERYTHING. 670 00:31:12,067 --> 00:31:14,733 AND HE'S PROBABLY RIGHT. 671 00:31:14,767 --> 00:31:16,700 ANY MISTAKES MADE WERE MADE BY BOTH OF US. 672 00:31:16,733 --> 00:31:19,167 ONE OF US SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM, 673 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,600 SEE HOW HE IS. 674 00:31:20,633 --> 00:31:21,600 I'M OKAY. 675 00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:24,733 ARE YOU SURE? 676 00:31:24,767 --> 00:31:26,300 YEAH. FINE. 677 00:31:29,733 --> 00:31:31,600 RIGHT THIS WAY. 678 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,833 [ BOYS LAUGHING ] 679 00:31:58,867 --> 00:32:00,367 MOM. MOM! 680 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,633 YEAH, YEAH, I'M COMING. WHAT IS IT? 681 00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:03,700 WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS BRUSHING YOUR TEETH? 682 00:32:03,733 --> 00:32:05,100 [ BOYS LAUGHING ] 683 00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:07,100 PARKER, WHAT HAPPENED? 684 00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:08,767 PORTER PUSHED ME, AND IT FELL IN. 685 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,367 HE PUSHED ME FIRST. 686 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,267 CAN I FLUSH IT? 687 00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:12,567 NO, NO. 688 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,167 I'LL FISH IT OUT LATER, ALL RIGHT? 689 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:15,533 YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK FOR TONIGHT, 690 00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:18,067 BUT NOT YOU TWO, SO START BRUSHING. 691 00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:21,067 PRESTON, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? 692 00:32:21,067 --> 00:32:23,200 I SAID START BRUSHING YOUR TEETH. 693 00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:24,733 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 694 00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:29,667 DON'T YOU DARE. 695 00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,700 DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 696 00:32:30,733 --> 00:32:32,433 PRESTON, DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. 697 00:32:32,467 --> 00:32:34,600 BACK AWAY FROM THE TOILET, AND NO ONE GETS HURT. 698 00:32:34,633 --> 00:32:38,667 DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! I MEAN IT THIS TIME. THESE ARE NOT JUST WORDS. 699 00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:40,467 DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 700 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:43,133 IF YOU DO THIS, SO HELP ME... 701 00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:46,200 Mary Alice: HEARING THE HOLLOWNESS OF HER OWN VOICE, 702 00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:50,300 LYNETTE REALIZED THAT IT WAS TIME TO GET ONE STEP AHEAD. 703 00:32:50,333 --> 00:32:51,300 HA HA HA. 704 00:32:51,333 --> 00:32:52,533 DO IT! DO IT! 705 00:32:52,567 --> 00:32:55,367 I WILL WALK YOU OVER TO MRS. VAN DE KAMP'S, 706 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,333 AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHE GETS MAD. 707 00:33:00,233 --> 00:33:01,433 NOW... 708 00:33:01,467 --> 00:33:05,067 GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH, AND I WANT THEM TO SPARKLE. 709 00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:06,133 GO ON. 710 00:33:08,233 --> 00:33:10,267 SORRY YOU HAD TO BRING YOUR KID BACK. 711 00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:11,733 WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME? 712 00:33:11,767 --> 00:33:13,300 WELL, COUPLE MONTHS BACK, 713 00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,433 I CAUGHT TODD GOING THROUGH MY PURSE. 714 00:33:15,467 --> 00:33:17,667 OH. I HATE WHEN THEY DO THAT. 715 00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:19,667 WAS HE LOOKING FOR WEED OR MONEY? 716 00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:22,233 OH, WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT? 717 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:25,100 ANYWAY, I'D KNOCKED A COUPLE BACK, 718 00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:26,200 AND THINGS GOT HEATED. 719 00:33:26,233 --> 00:33:28,067 PRETTY SOON, WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING 720 00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:29,833 AND THROWING STUFF AROUND THE APARTMENT. 721 00:33:29,867 --> 00:33:33,067 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, LADY UPSTAIRS CALLS THE COPS ON US. 722 00:33:33,067 --> 00:33:34,600 AW, GIVE ME A BREAK. 723 00:33:34,633 --> 00:33:35,533 [ COUGHS ] 724 00:33:35,567 --> 00:33:37,600 [ SPITS ] 725 00:33:37,633 --> 00:33:41,467 SO NOW I GOT SOME SOCIAL WORKER 726 00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:44,067 TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY BOY. 727 00:33:44,067 --> 00:33:46,400 KIDS -- BOY, IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW, 728 00:33:46,433 --> 00:33:49,067 I WOULD HAVE HAD THAT HYSTERECTOMY 20 YEARS AGO. 729 00:33:49,067 --> 00:33:50,500 HA HA HA HA. 730 00:33:50,533 --> 00:33:54,367 [ WOMEN LAUGHING ] 731 00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:00,633 UH, BREE -- DON'T GET UP. 732 00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:02,467 I'LL BE QUICK. 733 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,633 ANDREW, ALL ANY PARENT CAN DO 734 00:34:04,667 --> 00:34:06,467 IS TRY TO PROVIDE THEIR CHILD 735 00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,433 WITH THE TOOLS TO SUCCEED IN LIFE -- 736 00:34:08,467 --> 00:34:10,100 EDUCATION, LOVE, 737 00:34:10,133 --> 00:34:12,267 A GOOD, CLEAN, SAFE HOME. 738 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:13,633 WELL, I HAVE GIVEN YOU THOSE THINGS, 739 00:34:13,667 --> 00:34:14,833 AND I AM THROUGH FEELING GUILTY, 740 00:34:14,867 --> 00:34:16,367 SO IF YOU WANT TO PISS YOUR LIFE AWAY 741 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,300 AND BLAME IT ON HOW HORRIBLE THINGS ARE AT HOME, 742 00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,167 YOU GO AHEAD, BUT I WANT IT STATED FOR THE RECORD 743 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,567 THAT I AM A GOOD MOTHER. DO YOU HEAR ME? 744 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,633 I AM A GOOD MOTHER. 745 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:28,767 BREE... 746 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,200 ANDREW JUST TOLD ME HE THINKS 747 00:34:32,233 --> 00:34:33,467 HE MIGHT BE GAY. 748 00:34:35,067 --> 00:34:36,500 WHAT? 749 00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,833 THAT'S WHY HE WANTED ME TO COME IN FIRST. 750 00:34:38,867 --> 00:34:42,067 HE THOUGHT I COULD TAKE IT BETTER. 751 00:34:47,467 --> 00:34:50,433 WELL, HE WAS RIGHT. I WILL BE WAITING IN THE CAR. 752 00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,067 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 753 00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:00,133 MRS. SOLIS. 754 00:35:00,167 --> 00:35:02,067 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 755 00:35:05,767 --> 00:35:07,100 OKAY. 756 00:35:07,133 --> 00:35:09,167 ARE YOUR ROOMMATES HERE? 757 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,767 NO. ARE YOU OKAY? 758 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,400 YEAH. 759 00:35:12,433 --> 00:35:14,733 WHAT'S THIS? 760 00:35:14,767 --> 00:35:16,233 THAT IS, UH... 761 00:35:16,267 --> 00:35:18,300 CARLOS JUST GOT A LITTLE ROUGH. 762 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:20,200 MADE ME SIGN SOME PAPERS. HE HURT YOU? 763 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,233 JOHN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 764 00:35:25,267 --> 00:35:26,767 I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS. 765 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:27,800 NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING. 766 00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:29,567 WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS. 767 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,100 LOOK, YOU REALLY WANT TO GET BACK AT HIM? 768 00:35:31,133 --> 00:35:32,133 THEN KISS ME. 769 00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:33,067 HOW'S THAT GOING TO HELP? 770 00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:35,100 BECAUSE ONE DAY, WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, 771 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,433 I'M GOING TO TELL HIM 772 00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,667 HOW HE DROVE ME RIGHT INTO YOUR ARMS, 773 00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:40,367 AND THAT'S GOING TO KILL HIM. 774 00:35:44,867 --> 00:35:47,300 AND TONIGHT JUST, WHATEVER YOU DO, 775 00:35:47,333 --> 00:35:49,100 DON'T CALL ME BEAUTIFUL. 776 00:36:02,267 --> 00:36:04,833 OH, MORTY, LOOK WHO'S HERE. 777 00:36:04,867 --> 00:36:06,800 HEY, MILLIE. HI, MORTY. 778 00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:09,133 SUSIE, WHAT -- WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? 779 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,067 MOM -- I BROUGHT HER OVER. 780 00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:14,633 WHAT-- WHAT'S SHE DOING OUT THERE? 781 00:36:14,667 --> 00:36:16,367 SHE SAYS SHE WON'T COME IN 782 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,533 UNTIL YOU GO OUT AND APOLOGIZE TO HER. 783 00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:20,167 FOR -- FOR WHAT? 784 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,533 FOR SHOVING HER. 785 00:36:21,567 --> 00:36:23,533 WELL, I ONLY SHOVED HER 'CAUSE SHE WOULDN'T -- 786 00:36:23,567 --> 00:36:25,267 SHE WOULDN'T STOP HITTING ME. 787 00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:26,433 WHY WAS SHE HITTING YOU? 788 00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:29,400 I THREW A -- THREW A BOOK AT HER. 789 00:36:29,433 --> 00:36:31,533 MORTY. IT WAS -- IT WAS A PAPERBACK. 790 00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:33,467 WELL, EVEN SO... 791 00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,800 AT LEAST I MISSED. 792 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:37,333 I MEAN, SHE -- SHE HIT ME SQUARE IN THE GUT. 793 00:36:37,367 --> 00:36:39,233 YOU WANT TO SEE THE BRUISE? 794 00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:41,233 THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S OKAY. 795 00:36:41,267 --> 00:36:43,467 IT REALLY HURT. 796 00:36:43,500 --> 00:36:45,833 YEAH, I-I UNDERSTAND. 797 00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,300 SO... 798 00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:49,600 COULD YOU, UH, 799 00:36:49,633 --> 00:36:51,433 JUST GO OUT AND APOLOGIZE? 800 00:36:51,467 --> 00:36:53,167 NO. WHY? 801 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,233 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HER BACK. 802 00:36:55,267 --> 00:36:57,067 MORTY. 803 00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:58,233 LOOK, I LOVE HER, 804 00:36:58,267 --> 00:37:01,200 BUT THE -- THE PANCAKE SHACK IS JUST STARTING TO TAKE OFF, 805 00:37:01,233 --> 00:37:03,600 AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT OPENING ANOTHER ONE. 806 00:37:03,633 --> 00:37:05,167 I MEAN, THAT-- THAT'S PRACTICALLY A CHAIN. 807 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,100 I-I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR HER HYSTERICS. 808 00:37:08,133 --> 00:37:10,533 YEAH, I SYMPATHIZE, I REALLY DO. 809 00:37:10,567 --> 00:37:12,233 BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE HER BACK. 810 00:37:12,267 --> 00:37:13,433 WHY? 811 00:37:13,467 --> 00:37:15,700 BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH ME. 812 00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,467 OH. 813 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,800 MORTY, I-I'D LIKE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN, 814 00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:21,767 AND AT MY AGE, WITH A KID -- 815 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,300 I MEAN, IF SHE MOVES INTO MY HOUSE, 816 00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:25,067 EVEN FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, I'M DOOMED. 817 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:26,700 WA-WASN'T THERE A PLUMBER? 818 00:37:26,733 --> 00:37:28,633 YOUR MOTHER SAID YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH A PLUMBER. 819 00:37:28,667 --> 00:37:31,400 I AM -- I MEAN, I WAS. 820 00:37:31,433 --> 00:37:33,367 IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. 821 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,300 I'M -- I'M SORRY. 822 00:37:35,333 --> 00:37:37,200 IF SHE MOVES IN, SHE WILL BURN UP ALL MY OXYGEN, 823 00:37:37,233 --> 00:37:38,667 AND I NEED IT. 824 00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,800 PLEASE, CAN'T YOU GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE? 825 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:44,467 YOU GUYS ARE REALLY GOOD TOGETHER, YOU KNOW? 826 00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:46,767 WHEN YOU'RE -- WHEN -- WHEN THERE'S NO VIOLENCE. 827 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,067 WELL, WE -- WE DO HAVE CHEMISTRY. 828 00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:51,500 ABSOLUTELY. 829 00:37:51,533 --> 00:37:53,733 YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW, THE SEX WAS LIKE... 830 00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,067 WOW. 831 00:37:55,067 --> 00:37:56,700 I MEAN, THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME 832 00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:58,800 WE WERE COMING HOME ON THE INTERSTATE -- 833 00:37:58,833 --> 00:38:00,500 YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL ME. GO. 834 00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:02,233 JUST GO TALK TO HER. 835 00:38:02,267 --> 00:38:04,500 NOW. 836 00:38:07,300 --> 00:38:08,800 OKAY. 837 00:38:16,533 --> 00:38:18,300 [ SIGHS ] 838 00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:20,233 THAT WAS A MIGHTY BIG SIGH. 839 00:38:20,267 --> 00:38:22,233 I JUST KEEP THINKING IT'S COMING, MILLIE, 840 00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:24,400 AND I CAN'T STOP IT. WHAT'S THAT? 841 00:38:24,433 --> 00:38:27,067 THE DAY MY MOTHER WILL NEED TO MOVE IN WITH ME, 842 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,333 AND I WON'T HAVE A CHOICE. 843 00:38:28,367 --> 00:38:29,733 MM-HMM. I KNOW IT'S YEARS AWAY. 844 00:38:29,767 --> 00:38:32,067 SHE'S YOUTHFUL AND VIBRANT, THANK GOD. 845 00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:34,300 [ MORTY AND SOPHIE YELLING ] 846 00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:35,500 BUT TIME FLIES. 847 00:38:35,533 --> 00:38:37,767 ONE DAY, SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF ANYMORE, 848 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,567 AND I'LL HAVE TO STEP UP. 849 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,067 I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE. 850 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:43,800 I THINK IT'S NATURE'S LITTLE JOKE 851 00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:48,100 THAT CHILDREN ULTIMATELY END UP PARENTING THEIR PARENTS. 852 00:38:48,133 --> 00:38:51,100 WELL, WHEN THAT DAY COMES, I'LL BE READY. 853 00:38:51,133 --> 00:38:53,067 HONEY, YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE. 854 00:38:53,067 --> 00:38:55,067 STOP IT! AAH! 855 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,600 WHAT? STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 856 00:38:59,633 --> 00:39:01,467 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 857 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,400 [ BOYS YELLING ] 858 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,167 HEY. 859 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,800 LOOK... 860 00:39:35,833 --> 00:39:38,133 I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. 861 00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:39,300 LYNETTE, DON'T. 862 00:39:40,767 --> 00:39:42,800 THE FACT THAT YOU JUST CROSSED THAT STREET 863 00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:44,600 MEANS THE WORLD TO ME, 864 00:39:44,633 --> 00:39:47,600 AND IF ANYONE HERE SHOULD APOLOGIZE, IT'S ME. 865 00:39:47,633 --> 00:39:49,667 THANK YOU. 866 00:39:54,233 --> 00:39:57,367 LOOKS LIKE TOM'S GOT THE MOB UNDER CONTROL. 867 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,100 YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME COFFEE, 868 00:39:59,133 --> 00:40:02,300 SIT AROUND, BITCH ABOUT OUR KIDS? 869 00:40:02,333 --> 00:40:03,600 HA HA. 870 00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:04,633 I WOULD LOVE TO. 871 00:40:04,667 --> 00:40:05,633 OKAY. 872 00:40:11,633 --> 00:40:13,767 Mary Alice: CHILDREN COME INTO THE WORLD 873 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,167 WITH THEIR OWN AGENDAS. 874 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,167 SOME TO BRIGHTEN OUR DAYS... 875 00:40:20,833 --> 00:40:26,167 SOME TO TEST OUR PATIENCE... 876 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:30,633 SOME TO GIVE US PURPOSE... 877 00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:39,733 SOME TO TAKE CARE OF US. 878 00:40:42,067 --> 00:40:45,833 YES, WHEN THEY COME, 879 00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:48,400 CHILDREN CHANGE EVERYTHING... 880 00:40:55,833 --> 00:41:00,467 ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT INVITED. 59902

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