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- [Ricky] Warning.
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00:00:02,741 --> 00:00:04,131
The followin' program contains
really coarse language,
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00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:07,014
weed, alcohol
consumption, smoking,
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00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,917
and sexual inf-fer-ferlences.
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00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:13,102
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,670
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:17,276
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
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00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:18,448
on your remote control.
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00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,891
[nostalgic piano jazz music]
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00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:26,901
[birds chirping]
[children chattering]
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00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,029
- Holy fuck.
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00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,953
This chick is tryin'
to divorce her husband
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00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,557
because, uh, he only bathes,
like, once every 10 days.
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00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,172
Who the fuck does, man?
15
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,689
- [Ricky] Does what, divorce?
16
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,262
- Doesn't have a shower
for, like, 10 days.
17
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,052
- Randy?
18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:46,956
- You've done it
before, haven't you?
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00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,270
Yes.
- No.
20
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,527
- Ricky, man, you should
fuckin' at least shower
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00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,710
every second day.
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00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,225
- If I don't shower every day,
23
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,269
I at least have little
bird bath or something.
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00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,104
- What if you're doin',
like, lots of bangin'?
25
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,802
- What's a bird bath, Ricky?
26
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,409
- That's where you
kinda stand at the sink
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00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,982
pretty much naked.
28
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:07,548
- You wash your
balls in the sink?
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00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:08,715
- Is that why it always,
you got, like, a puddle
30
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,290
in front of your fuckin' sink?
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00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,807
- Well, you just wash,
wash everything down.
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00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:12,990
You don't need to have a shower,
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00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,415
but at least I get cleaned.
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00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,556
- So we're steppin' in his
fuckin' ball water, man.
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00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:18,985
- Is it cleaned or cleant?
36
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:19,991
- Fuckin' ball water.
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00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,562
- Ball broth. [giggles]
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00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,079
- Cleaned or cleant?
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00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,353
- Cleaned.
- Cleaned. E-D.
40
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,556
- Cleant?
41
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,134
- Cleant sounds better.
42
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:31,181
- Kleent was a, remember
the guy that lived down
43
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,608
just outside the park.
44
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:33,484
Johnny Kleent.
45
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,229
You remember him?
46
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,526
- Was he cleant?
47
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,192
- No, he was a dirty bastard,
48
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,876
but that was his name, Kleent.
49
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,284
K-L-E-E-N-T, Kleent.
50
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,317
Yeah.
51
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,982
Fuck, I'd like one of those
pop tart pretzels right now.
52
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,769
- What's inside of 'em.
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00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,896
- I don't know, pretzel dust.
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00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,599
- I don't think they're
sellin' them here.
55
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,116
I can't find the fuckin' things.
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00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,030
- They're sellin'
fuckin' drugs, man.
57
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,124
- Boys, I gotta
get off the liquor.
58
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,004
- You've been just
drinkin' all week.
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00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,815
I couldn't even drink last
night. I'm still fucked.
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00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,653
- What the fuck? Oh,
that's this game.
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00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,391
- Let's, let's do, let's play
a game or something, man.
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00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,442
This is borin'
the fuck outta me.
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00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,477
I'm not in good
shape here, boys.
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00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,403
- Here.
[bell dings]
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00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,958
Let's have a fuckin' round
of this. I love this game.
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00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:19,974
- What is it again?
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00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,395
- "If You Had To."
68
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,402
- How does it,
what are the rules?
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00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,403
- I can't remember.
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00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:25,875
But I'm pretty sure-
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- Holy fuck, there's more!
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00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:31,984
- What, more pages?
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00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,937
- "How to raise money
for the wedding."
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00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:35,941
- [Julian] What?
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00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:38,586
You serious? That's in there?
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00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,163
- "How to survive a
honeymoon disaster."
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00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,117
- [Bubbles] How many cards was
it you get? Do you remember?
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00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:44,990
- Wasn't it five?
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00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,297
- One, two, three.
One, two, three.
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00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:54,569
Three, two, three.
Four, two, three.
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00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,645
That's fine.
82
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,133
- Four?
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00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,923
- And I'll be the
judge on the first one.
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00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:00,918
[Julian sighs]
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00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,399
So, you guys have to
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00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,309
- So, we gotta
give you our best.
87
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:07,144
- Yes, the thing you don't
think I would want to do.
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00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,449
You gotta look at all
your cards, Julian,
89
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,721
and pick the thing
that you don't think
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00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,196
the Bubbler would want
to do, no matter what.
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00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,771
- These suck.
92
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,383
Did you already gave him one.
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00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,248
[Ricky giggles]
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00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,082
- Ricky.
[Ricky snickers]
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00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,820
You're turnin',
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00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,211
you're turnin' [crosstalk]
97
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,004
- This is so fucked.
[cards slap]
98
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,608
- My drugs are kickin' in.
[Bubbles giggles]
99
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,049
- All right.
- Fuck.
100
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,865
- Okay, so, we gotta pick one.
101
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,703
- You gotta give me one here,
and you give me one here.
102
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,624
Rustle 'em up,
boys. Rustle 'em up.
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00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,188
[hand thumps]
104
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,795
- Fuck, I don't know, man.
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00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,186
I guess this one sucks.
[hand thumps]
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00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:57,450
- Yeah, well these, I mean.
[hand thumps]
107
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:58,724
[Julian sighs]
108
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:01,066
- "You are very slowly melting."
109
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,236
[Ricky snickers]
110
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,072
Ricky, that's a pretty bad one.
111
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,238
- Okay, good.
112
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,724
- That's a bad one.
113
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,643
- If I was very slowly melting?
114
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,508
- Yeah, that would not be good.
115
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,900
- That, I'm probably, that's
probably gonna win, Ricky.
116
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,693
- Nice. Like a snowman.
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00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:16,778
- "Let each of your
friends choose a tattoo
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00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,388
to put anywhere on you."
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00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:19,558
[Ricky laughs]
120
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,133
- No question. It's the fuckin'-
121
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,000
- Oh yeah, that was bad.
122
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,791
But can you imagine havin'
a big cock on your face
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00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,216
for the rest of your life.
124
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,352
- Well, that's
exactly what I'd have
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00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,274
if I ever let you guys do that.
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00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,879
What would you put on me, Ricky,
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00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,059
if I said you can
put any tattoo on me?
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00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,281
- I'll have to get back
to you on that one.
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00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,317
[Bubbles hums]
130
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,151
What would you do?
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00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,409
- You'd have a, a, a
cock goin' down that way.
132
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,282
- Yeah.
133
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,334
- Connect it to a vagina that
would go across your head.
134
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,769
And then a set of balls
135
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:48,935
and maybe some tits,
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00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,420
right there.
137
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,600
- [chuckling] I can't
even picture that.
138
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,635
Can you draw it? That's weird.
139
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,210
- Yeah, I can draw it.
140
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,556
- You know what I
would tattoo on you?
141
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,116
- What?
142
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,432
- I would just shadow
sculpt your muscles in.
143
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,299
Like, put a shadow right there
144
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,261
so it looks like
- All right.
145
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,829
- you're permanently flexed.
146
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,306
And then you'd be my,
you'd love me forever.
147
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,697
- That's like that,
what was, Jason Mimosa?
148
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,358
He fuckin' had that commercial
149
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,965
where he took all
of his muscles off
150
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,355
and he was just this
little skinny dude.
151
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,358
- I didn't see that.
152
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,229
- It's pretty funny.
153
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,674
- [chuckling] Are you sure
his name's Jason Mimosa?
154
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,539
- Isn't it?
155
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,890
- Isn't a mimosa a drink with
orange juice and champagne.
156
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:29,021
- No, it's a mamoa, isn't it?
157
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,814
- Ah, well, actually,
at this point in time,
158
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:36,339
Mr. Lahey has gotten
totally shit-faced.
159
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,766
He, uh-
160
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,342
- Randy, don't
fuckin' do that shit.
161
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,209
- Mr. Lahey, he let the
liquor do the thinkin'.
162
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:44,000
And folks, when you let
the liquor do the thinkin',
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00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,865
a shit storm will blow in
- Julian.
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00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,737
- [Randy] and usually
hit ya with shit rain.
165
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,389
And if you get hit
with shit rain,
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00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,793
it's just a shitty
shit wet messy day.
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00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,567
[Mr. Lahey mumbling
incoherently]
168
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,181
- Between me and you, Julian,
just a couple of drinks.
169
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,051
- That's right, Mr.
Lahey, that's right.
170
00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,583
You know, but if you didn't
drink so much friggin' liquor,
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00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,186
then I wouldn't have to-
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00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,006
- Who the fuck
wants to [mumbling]
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00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,844
- do the whole friggin' show,
Mr. Lahey, for frig sakes.
174
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,373
- Okay, all right.
[Mr. Lahey mumbling]
175
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,797
[hands clap]
176
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:09,933
Okay, Mr. Lahey, that's
enough, all right.
177
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,854
So, let me just see.
178
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:14,239
Um, I just wanna say, um,
179
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,723
I've got a great
show put together.
180
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,293
I really do.
181
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,029
And I think I'm gonna
start off the show light
182
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,510
and lighten things up.
183
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,380
- [mumbling]
Fuckin' bottle kids.
184
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,172
- And make it so that things
are nice, okay? And happy.
185
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:29,687
And what better way to do that
than to tell a joke, okay?
186
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,873
So, I'm gonna tell
a joke, everybody.
187
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,349
And this is a great joke.
188
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:34,309
I think you're really
gonna enjoy it.
189
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:35,566
Okay. All right.
190
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,399
Knock, knock.
191
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,267
[Mr. Lahey snores]
192
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,008
Chipper, come on, man.
193
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,529
Help me out here for frig sakes.
194
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:43,932
You know, who's
there, all right?
195
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:44,965
You ready?
196
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:45,969
- [Chipper] Yeah.
197
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:46,800
Okay, okay. Here we go.
198
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,317
Knock, knock.
199
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,890
- [Chipper] Who's there?
200
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,797
- Cheeseburgers.
201
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:52,982
- [Mr. Lahey] Who's there?
202
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,807
- [Chipper] Cheeseburgers who?
203
00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:57,805
- Cheeseburgers can't
knock, Chipper. [laughing]
204
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,238
- [Chipper] Fuck off, Randy.
205
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,774
- Chipper, frig off.
206
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,508
Don't make me take my
friggin' pants off.
207
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,429
Listen, I got a lot of pressure
friggin' tryin' to hold
208
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,295
this whole friggin'
show together,
209
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:10,866
the new and improved "Randy
and Sometimes Mr. Lahey Show."
210
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,645
And least you can freakin' do is
211
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,829
help a guy out, for frig sakes.
212
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,345
All right?
213
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,648
- [Chipper] Come on,
we're rollin', man. Go.
214
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,004
- Okay, all right, okay.
215
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,003
[hands clap]
All right.
216
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,354
I'm keepin' moving.
217
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,013
No lulls in the new and improved
218
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,877
"Randy and Sometimes
Mr. Lahey Show."
219
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:25,919
Okay.
220
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,453
All right, here we go.
221
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,317
Where the frig were
we. I made notes.
222
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,537
[bottle thuds]
223
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,406
Okay, okay.
[hands clap]
224
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,407
All right, now, in the
past, we have always done
225
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,758
a toast of the day.
226
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:36,407
- Ah, for fuck sakes. [groaning]
227
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:37,852
- Are you okay, Mr. Lahey.
228
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,458
[Mr. Lahey mumbling
and slurring]
229
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,590
Mr. Lahey?
230
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,121
- It's too fuckin' [indistinct]
231
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,807
[Mr. Lahey groans and snores]
232
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,424
- Okay,
[hand thumps]
233
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,304
we used to do a toast
of the day, everybody.
234
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:52,725
All right, Mr. Lahey, I
think it's just an excuse
235
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,913
for Mr. Lahey to
drink more liquor.
236
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:58,219
And, as you can see, the
liquor has really set
237
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,216
into Mr. Lahey right now.
238
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,438
He's not even awake.
239
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:06,007
[Mr. Lahey mumbles indistinctly]
240
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,837
Yeah, really nice, Mr. Lahey.
241
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:12,485
Anyway, I think, myself, I work
better when I'm high, okay?
242
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,803
I, I mow lawns when I'm high.
I, I hit the bong, all right?
243
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,760
So, what I am gonna
do, everybody, is-
244
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:20,590
[Mr. Lahey's body thumps]
245
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,147
- Mr. Lahey.
246
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,983
- Oh, for fuck sakes,
Randy. That's too hard.
247
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,811
Oh, cock.
248
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:28,549
- What I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna, I'm gonna have a bong.
249
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,211
I'm gonna have a,
here Mr. Lahey.
250
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,727
Let's get you back
up on this couch.
251
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:34,990
[Mr. Lahey mumbles indistinctly]
252
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,172
Come on, you should-
253
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:36,987
[Mr. Lahey mumbles loudly]
254
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,784
Alright. Okay.
255
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,689
We'll leave Mr. Lahey
there, everybody, all right?
256
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,484
Just ignore Mr. Lahey.
257
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,308
I'm just gonna go over here.
258
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,476
I'm gonna kinda get
some of my weed.
259
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,352
[Mr. Lahey mumbles indistinctly]
260
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,013
I don't know where my
fuckin' lighter, there it is.
261
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,007
Okay. All right.
262
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:56,359
Chipper, next time have my bong
ready, for fuck sakes, okay?
263
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,101
Don't fuckin'
leave it all to me.
264
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:58,932
[Mr. Lahey groans]
265
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,759
All right.
266
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,017
So, instead of havin' the
drinky-poo of the day,
267
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,630
we're gonna have the Randy
Bobandy bong of the day.
268
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,462
And I got a neat
little name for it.
269
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,329
It's called, what's it called?
270
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,551
Randy Bong Bandy,
[Mr. Lahey gasping]
271
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,471
the Randy Bong Bandy toast.
272
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:14,895
That's what we're gonna have.
273
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,692
That's it, 'cause
it's, there's a lot of,
274
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,376
the bong bandy matches.
275
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,213
So, I'm just puttin'
my dope in here.
276
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,041
[Mr. Lahey groans]
277
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,558
All right.
278
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,562
And, um, Mr. Lahey, pass
me that lighter there,
279
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,394
right there.
280
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,569
That's
[camera clatters]
281
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,738
not the lighter.
282
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:30,573
This is the lighter here.
283
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,440
Okay. All right.
284
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,880
So,
285
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,176
what we're gonna cheers to
286
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,053
is dope, okay?
287
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:40,194
And I got a little tune
to go along with the dope.
288
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,798
It goes, to dope.
289
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,368
♪ Dope is great.
290
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,145
♪ Dope is delicious.
291
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,059
♪ Dope goes straight
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
292
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,814
♪ To the end of your penis
- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
293
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:50,545
♪ Just sit on down
and have a toke. ♪
294
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,326
- [slurring] What's the
fuckin' [indistinct]
295
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:55,250
♪ And you will see
you'll start to float. ♪
296
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,986
- Randy.
297
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,417
♪ Dope, dope, dope,
di-di-dee, dope, dope, dope. ♪
298
00:09:58,423 --> 00:09:59,603
- Randy! For fuck sakes, Randy.
299
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,509
♪ And then you have a toke.
300
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,953
- [slurring] What did ya
do when I was [indistinct]
301
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,600
- [Randy] Fuckin' light.
[lighter banging]
302
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,083
Fuck!
303
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,082
- [indistinct] When's
it start, Randy?
304
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,263
[bong water bubbling]
305
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,258
- What the fuck are ya doin'?
306
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,089
[bong water bubbling]
307
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,906
[Randy inhales]
308
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:14,354
- I'm doin the dopey Ran Boban,
Ran, Randy Bong Bandy toast.
309
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,442
- You fuckin' wrote a show out.
310
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:17,881
- Well, Mr. Lahey,
you were drunk.
311
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,438
I had to write-
312
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:22,974
- Dope is good. Dope is
[indistinct] shit bag.
313
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,450
- It's a good song, Mr. Lahey.
314
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,359
- You got a bong penis.
You wrote a penis.
315
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,544
- Well, what I did, a good
dope goes right to the end
316
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,059
of your penis, Mr. Lahey.
317
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,283
- What did he wrote
the show [indistinct]
318
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,242
fuckin' got me all
piss drunk, Randy,
319
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,851
and then you, fuck,
get outta my chair.
320
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,291
- Mr. Lahey, you're the one-
321
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:36,637
- Get outta my
fuckin' chair, Randy.
322
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,675
- You're the friggin'
one that got all drunk.
323
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,162
- Yeah, you can't
teach me anything
324
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,992
about fuckin' liquor, eh?
325
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,600
- You know what
time it is already?
326
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,120
I did the stuff.
327
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,003
It's time to do the
"Randy's Kitchen."
328
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:51,035
- Randy, you know, you look
like a fuckin' cow's puterus.
329
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,351
[bong water bubbles]
330
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,647
[Randy inhales]
331
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,534
- [Julian] I don't
know, what do you do?
332
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,785
- We'll have to make a fuckin'
Sunnyvale surprise, I guess,
333
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,087
'cause I'm starvin'.
334
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,313
- You wanna do that?
335
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,791
- What else can we do?
336
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,711
- All right, man. We're
supposed to ration.
337
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,526
- Grab your fuckin' noodles
and grab your goddamn chips.
338
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,021
We're gonna make what some
people call Sunnyvale surprise,
339
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,236
or what the fuck's the
other term, a bowl shooter,
340
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,055
I guess, or bowl shots.
341
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:14,853
It's all we can do 'cause
the fuckin' prison fucked us.
342
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:16,368
Tigers don't even
eat fuckin' liver
343
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,371
when they kill an animal.
344
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,852
[packages crinkling]
345
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,462
Sunnyvale surprise
is very easy to make.
346
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,252
You just take some
basic ingredients,
347
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,466
like ramen noodles,
some, like, cheesy chips,
348
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,117
like zesty mordant
Doritos or somethin'.
349
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,821
Cheezies really fuckin' good.
350
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,338
And then some kinda meat.
351
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,871
You can use these
little baby hot dogs,
352
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,685
or you can fuckin' use tuna.
353
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,303
- Oh, right on. I didn't
know you had this here.
354
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,963
- Oh, right on man,
zesty mord, perfect.
355
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:37,997
- [Julian] Yeah, I don't
know what flavor, oh.
356
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,351
- Ramen noodles, spicy.
357
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:41,881
[package crinkles]
358
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,825
All right, so just put
these in a fuckin' pot.
359
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,398
Some fuckin' hot water.
360
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,397
- [Julian] Yeah.
361
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,672
- [Ricky] Okay, baby.
362
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:52,487
- [Julian] Goin' down there.
363
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:53,674
- Cook away.
364
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,929
I got some fuckin' Cheezies
365
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,411
and some nacho boogles.
366
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,370
- [Julian] Some what?
367
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:03,291
- Some nacho bloogles or
whatever the fuck they're.
368
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:04,287
- [Julian] Bloogles?
369
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:06,068
- I don't know, man.
370
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,383
So, you take all this
shit, you wanna crush it up
371
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,948
as good as you fuckin' can.
372
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,505
Do you need more hot
water in that shit?
373
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,082
- Ah, Rick, see, one
thing you don't do
374
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,649
is leave the fuckin' spices-
- Ah, shit.
375
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,645
- in the fuckin'
noodles when you.
376
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,387
Fuck, Ricky.
377
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,558
- That was a little
bit of a fuck up.
378
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,833
- Rookie fuckin' mistake, man.
379
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,182
Uh, there we go.
380
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,008
Look at that.
381
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,698
What the fuck.
382
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:28,703
Three, man. Strike three.
383
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,576
I'm makin' this next time.
384
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,666
[package crinkling]
385
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,315
- Get these fuckin'
things crushed up,
386
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,149
the finer, the better.
387
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,017
Get the flavor runnin'
right through everything.
388
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,459
[package crinkling]
389
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:45,027
- You seriously puttin'
fuckin' sausage in there.
390
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,025
- Yeah, man.
391
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,636
We need some protein.
392
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,766
That's for you and
your big muscles.
393
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,638
- All right, all right, okay.
394
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,068
[Ricky chuckles]
395
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,084
I haven't had these
in years, man.
396
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,075
[package crinkling]
397
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,246
- How's it comin' up?
398
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,821
- [Julian] Ah, she's good, man.
399
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,648
- [Ricky] The cheese
logs crush up good.
400
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,516
The fuckin' crunchy
cheese logs, not so good.
401
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,427
They're hard, man.
402
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,829
Shouldn't use those next time.
403
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,826
- [Julian] Do you still drink
the juice from these things?
404
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,128
- You could pour it in
this pot if you want.
405
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,704
I might drink it later.
406
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,960
Make a nice little
tea outta that.
407
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,793
[package crinkling]
408
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,752
- [Julian] All right, so
where did the wieners go?
409
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,931
- Right in your
mouth. [chuckling]
410
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:18,927
- Fuckin' asshole.
411
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:21,798
[package crinkling]
412
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,801
- Dump 'em in man.
413
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,716
- [Julian] Okay. All of -em.
414
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:26,717
- These are the good kind.
- [Julian] Holy fuck.
415
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:27,718
- Fuckin' Maple Leaf.
416
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:27,849
- [Julian] Protein.
417
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,718
This is the shit, man.
418
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,252
- Probably shoulda cut them
up with scissors first, man.
419
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,806
- Usually when we
make this stuff,
420
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,993
you could fuckin'
sell this easily,
421
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:37,158
two bucks, three bucks a bowl.
422
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,734
[package crinkling]
423
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,650
- [Ricky] What's that?
424
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:41,905
- [Julian] Looks like you're
fuckin' beatin' off, buddy.
425
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,468
[Julian chuckles]
426
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,914
- I wish, I wish
it was like that.
427
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,131
I'd just have no
pants on all the time.
428
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,440
- [Julian] If it was like what?
429
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:49,996
- If it was like that?
430
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,833
- [Julian] Jesus, man.
431
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,661
- Imagine walkin' around
with somethin' knee length.
432
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,624
[Julian chuckles]
[package crinkling]
433
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,177
- [Julian] All right,
this is good, man.
434
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,974
- See, it's almost
like Kraft Dinner.
435
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,618
Cheesy pasty cheese
or what's it called?
436
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:04,413
The powdery, powdery
cheesy stuff.
437
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,237
[utensil banging]
438
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,757
There we go, Kraft
Dinner action.
439
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,720
- Mix her up.
440
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,031
It's fuckin' great.
441
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,549
Yeah.
442
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:18,341
- [Ricky] Fuckin' Jesus, I
can't wait to try this shit.
443
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,815
Gonna get drunk.
444
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,335
Gonna have a little
fuckin' feast.
445
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,858
- [Julian] This here,
probably get about-
446
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,042
- [Ricky] And find
somethin' to smoke.
447
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:25,867
- two meals each outta this.
448
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,865
Maybe two meals, a little
bedtime snack when we're drunk.
449
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,573
- You think that's
enough of the powder?
450
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,566
- One more, man.
One for good luck.
451
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,218
One more for good luck, buddy.
452
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,222
- And we got extra
for the next batch.
453
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,974
- [Julian] Right on.
454
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,875
- In case they serve somethin'
fucked tomorrow night.
455
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,880
- All right.
456
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,711
[utensil banging]
457
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,448
- Pull any of that fuckin'
liver bullshit on me ever again.
458
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:46,929
And the other nice
thing about this
459
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,319
is once you're done
with your hands,
460
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:50,764
you get to lick them.
461
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,459
Fuckin' delicious.
462
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,886
[Ricky slurping]
463
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,504
- [Julian] Oh, yeah,
look at that, buddy.
464
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,384
- Yum.
465
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,765
- I'll give ya, give you an
extra wiener in there for you.
466
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,639
- Fuckin' rights.
467
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,470
- [Julian] You gotta wash
fuckin' your hands, man.
468
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:06,207
[Ricky slurping]
469
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,084
Fuck.
470
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,130
- Ya didn't gimme
much juice, man.
471
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,607
- Here, here, here.
472
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,388
Strain the juice
in for ya, buddy.
473
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,792
Get that wiener juice.
- Oh, there we go.
474
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:17,995
- Yeah.
- Nice.
475
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,313
- All right.
476
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,140
So, that's it.
477
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,968
That's how you make, uh,
what do you call this shit?
478
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,227
- Sunnyvale surprise or
479
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:29,713
bowl shot.
480
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:30,711
Not really a bowl's in here.
Should be a glass shot.
481
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:31,502
- Right on, bud.
482
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:33,932
Fuck.
483
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,935
Good?
484
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,366
- Fuckin' perfeck.
485
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,162
- [Julian] It's perfeck.
486
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:41,676
Right on, Rick.
487
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,509
All right, I gotta find
another glass here.
488
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,507
- That's how you make
Sunnyvale surprise, baby.
489
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:45,068
Fuckin' delicious.
490
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:49,118
[foil rustles]
491
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,472
[oven clatters]
492
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:51,951
[foil rustles]
493
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,431
All right, let's get
this fuckin' shit ready.
494
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,392
[packages crinkling]
495
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,170
Ah, fuck.
496
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,391
Ah.
497
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,223
Ah.
498
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,475
Ah, fuck.
499
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,234
[food clatters]
500
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,046
- Okay.
501
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:11,836
Oh, yeah, look at
that fuckin' thing.
502
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,320
[bread pan rattles]
503
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,151
[bread pan clatters]
504
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,499
Get this fuckin' ready.
505
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,759
Cut her up with the recip.
506
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:24,292
[saw buzzing and rattling]
507
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:27,987
Beautiful.
508
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:32,117
[saw buzzing and rattling]
509
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,821
[saw thumps]
510
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,998
Two beautiful warm
pieces of bread.
511
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,515
Get those fuckin' buttered up.
512
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,559
Oh, that's a bit too much.
513
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,091
By the time it melts,
it should be good.
514
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,567
Set that aside on a plate.
515
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,143
Get a bit of corn.
516
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,920
[corn husk rustles]
517
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:53,804
Ah, fuck, these are
still a bit hot.
518
00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:00,021
Oh, this is fuckin' beautiful.
519
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,019
Cooked perfectly.
520
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:01,850
Fuck.
521
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,024
[corn husk rustles]
522
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,424
Put a bit of butter on that.
523
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:11,254
[corn husk rustles]
524
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:13,675
[Ricky slurping]
525
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,304
Oh, man, that is fuckin' good.
526
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,726
[saw thumps]
527
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,429
Get a little bit
corn on the plate.
528
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,255
Fuck off.
529
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,870
[saw buzzing and rattling]
530
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,404
All right. That's
lookin' fuckin' good.
531
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,532
Move that over onto
our main plate.
532
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,186
[plate rattles]
533
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:44,886
Fuckin' beautiful.
534
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,719
[pot dings]
535
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,627
All right, time to get
the fuckin' chicken goin'.
536
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,682
[drill whizzing]
537
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:52,679
[drill clatters]
538
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,290
Fuckin' smells good.
539
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,810
Oh yeah, nice and brown.
540
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:56,903
[foil rustling]
541
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,251
Get the fuck out here.
542
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:01,518
Fuck!
543
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,004
[fork thumps]
544
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:06,166
[foil rustles]
545
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,872
[oven jostling]
546
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,352
Fuckin' beautiful.
547
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:14,961
[saw buzzing and rattling]
548
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:22,058
[saw thumps]
549
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,967
Put some of that on here.
550
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:28,673
The only thing missin' now is
our fuckin' mashed potatoes.
551
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,332
[caulking gun clatters]
552
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,546
Mashed potatoes,
especially if you got kids,
553
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,286
[caulking gun rattles]
554
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:36,457
they fuckin' love this.
555
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,073
Take a fuckin' pipe tube,
556
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,513
make a little
contraption like this.
557
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:40,859
It's fuckin' perfect
for potatoes.
558
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,638
[caulking gun clatters]
559
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,303
Jam this thing
fuckin thing full.
560
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,078
[pipe rattles]
561
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,262
Get lots of fuckin'
potato in there.
562
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,128
Don't be shy.
563
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,573
Get the fuck in there.
564
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,738
Jam that down a bit.
565
00:18:58,528 --> 00:18:59,788
Guys are probably a lot
better at this than girls.
566
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,270
[potatoes smooshing]
567
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:05,361
[mallet bangs]
568
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:06,321
All right.
569
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,149
Put that back in your fuckin'
little caulkin' machine.
570
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:14,149
[caulking gun clatters]
[potatoes smooshing]
571
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,503
Fuck!
572
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:16,682
[caulking gun clatters]
573
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:17,937
Right in my fuckin' drink.
574
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,640
There we go.
575
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,821
[Ricky spits]
576
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,559
Still pretty good.
577
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,820
You can make in a
nice little happy face
578
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,002
for your kids or your grandsons.
579
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:38,132
[plate clinks]
580
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:45,233
[caulking gun creaks]
581
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:50,355
[caulking gun creaks]
582
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:52,103
Fuckin' perfect.
583
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,633
A little bit of gravy.
584
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,887
This is, like, just
a turkey bastard.
585
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,885
Get some nice fuckin'
gravy on there,
586
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,552
maybe on the happy face a bit.
587
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:01,976
[baster clatters]
588
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,253
Awesome.
589
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,765
[baking pan clatters]
590
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,468
Get a little salad
on a different plate.
591
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,375
Look how fuckin'
good that looks.
592
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,253
A bit of gravy on that.
593
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:14,044
I fuckin' love
gravy on everything.
594
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,300
[baster whooshes]
595
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,174
Awesome.
596
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,261
[bowl dings]
597
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:23,663
[drill thumps and clatters]
598
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:27,047
[bowl clatters]
599
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:28,621
Now, look at this
fuckin' meal we created
600
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,918
with no fuckin' kitchen.
601
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,284
Maybe you wanna little
bit of pepper on that.
602
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,275
You can hook your pepper
grinder up to your drill.
603
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:35,446
Pretty easy.
604
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:38,241
[drill whizzing]
605
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,330
Put these guys back
somewhere there.
606
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,332
- Yeah.
607
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,423
[Julian chuckling]
608
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:51,343
- Okay.
609
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:53,298
- Okay.
610
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,385
[Ricky chuckles]
611
00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:58,256
- Jesus.
612
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,866
- Okay, so this is,
613
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,262
this is ones you
guys are given to me?
614
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,134
- Yeah.
615
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,664
- [Ricky] Uh.
616
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,624
- I don't know, man.
617
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,451
These are too, these
are some good ones.
618
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,229
- These are better cards
than I had. That's for sure.
619
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,243
- Okay, this one, I
just want this one.
620
00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:21,715
- How come you got three?
621
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,925
I got two that are just
about as fucked up.
622
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,814
- You put two in?
623
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,936
- Ricky, I just, well, you
can put two in as well.
624
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,508
- What's this for?
625
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:30,985
- I just wanted you to
read that one to see.
626
00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:32,285
I wanted your
opinion on that one.
627
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,811
- Okay.
628
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:34,684
- To see if you
would do it or not.
629
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:37,508
- Are you cheatin'?
630
00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:39,563
- So, I get two. I gotta pick.
631
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:42,865
- Jesus, that's a-
632
00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:44,516
- Would you do that?
633
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,700
[Ricky chuckles]
634
00:21:45,695 --> 00:21:47,775
- Is he, is he a boy or a girl?
635
00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:48,924
- That's a boy, Ricky.
636
00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:50,736
- Fuck.
637
00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:54,444
- It says, "Hook up with
Yoda, horny I am." [giggles]
638
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:55,443
- What?
639
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:56,454
- It means bang Yoda.
640
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:57,315
Would ya bang Yoda?
641
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,706
- Jesus, man.
642
00:21:58,708 --> 00:21:59,708
- Okay, here's-
All right, for the win.
643
00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:01,279
- here's the four.
644
00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:02,706
"Accidentally marry
your brother's sister
645
00:22:02,712 --> 00:22:06,192
and only find out after
your third child."
646
00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:07,414
That would be awful.
647
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:08,983
[Ricky laughs]
648
00:22:08,979 --> 00:22:09,979
- Accidentally marry
your brother's sister?
649
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:10,760
- Brother or sister, so.
650
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:11,774
- Oh.
651
00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:12,545
- I don't have a sister.
652
00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:14,378
- Jesus.
653
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:19,026
- "Eat, as in cannibal eat, the
person on the judges' left."
654
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,247
- Hoo hoo.
655
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,602
- Oh, that wouldn't be bad.
656
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,432
[Ricky chuckling]
- Jesus.
657
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:25,470
- Look at the meat on
him. That wouldn't be bad.
658
00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:27,084
- Fuck.
659
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,564
- That'd be kinda delicious.
- Oh my god.
660
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:31,924
- "Get rolled in plastic
tarp, plastic wrap
661
00:22:31,915 --> 00:22:33,605
and then thrown in a swamp."
662
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:34,613
- Not fun.
663
00:22:34,614 --> 00:22:35,924
- I don't like swamps.
664
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,359
- See if I can find a-
665
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,916
- "The world's
entire water supply
666
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:40,182
comes from a spigot
on your forehead."
667
00:22:40,184 --> 00:22:41,624
- That would suck.
668
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:42,971
- That would be terrible.
669
00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:46,974
Eat Julian, I would do
that if I was hungry.
670
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:48,414
I would just cook him in a pan.
671
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,280
- Fuck.
672
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,110
- Bubs, man.
673
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:52,278
- "Accidentally marry
your sister and only find
674
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:54,203
out after your third child"
675
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:57,458
or, "Have a water spigot with
the world's water supply."
676
00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:59,123
Swamp, I could deal with.
677
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:00,286
Jesus Murphy.
678
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,639
What would be worse to have
the entire water supply
679
00:23:04,644 --> 00:23:07,044
of the world come, well,
you'd be pretty famous,
680
00:23:07,037 --> 00:23:08,207
and you'd be pretty popular.
681
00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:09,212
- You'd be fuckin' busy, man.
682
00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:10,693
- You'd be very popular.
683
00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:12,523
You'd be almost
treated like a god.
684
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,091
Now, if you married your sister
685
00:23:14,088 --> 00:23:17,088
and banged her and
had three children.
686
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,397
- I guess at that
point, I don't know.
687
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,269
- They're gonna be not
right in the head either.
688
00:23:22,270 --> 00:23:23,400
- Yes, you're right.
689
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,142
- They're gonna be crossed up.
690
00:23:25,142 --> 00:23:26,362
I would have to say that one.
691
00:23:26,361 --> 00:23:27,971
Ricky, did you gimme that one?
692
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:28,931
- Yeah.
693
00:23:28,929 --> 00:23:29,759
- Rick.
- Yeah.
694
00:23:29,756 --> 00:23:30,576
- Ricky wins.
695
00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:32,925
- Did your, uh,
- "How to spot fake-"
696
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:34,113
[crosstalk]
697
00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:35,108
did your mom have a brother?
698
00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:36,279
Did you have an uncle?
699
00:23:36,284 --> 00:23:37,764
Did your mother have a brother?
700
00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:39,374
- Yeah, I had a uncle.
701
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:40,204
- All right.
702
00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:41,721
[cat meows]
703
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:43,334
- Don't know what
happened to him.
704
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:44,474
- "How to survive if you
wake up next to someone
705
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:46,026
and don't remember their name."
706
00:23:46,033 --> 00:23:47,953
[nostalgic jazz music]
[seabirds squawking]
707
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:49,428
[water lapping]
708
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:52,128
[boat chugging]
709
00:23:56,739 --> 00:23:59,789
[seabirds squawking]
710
00:23:59,786 --> 00:24:02,956
- [Fish] Oh fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck-fuck, fuck, oh fuck,
711
00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:07,323
fuck, ooh, fuck, fuck, fuck
off, fuck, fuck, Jesus Christ!
712
00:24:07,315 --> 00:24:10,405
[metal scraping]
713
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:11,885
[wildcat roars]
714
00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:13,355
[switch clicks]
715
00:24:13,364 --> 00:24:15,284
- [Announcer]
[whispers] Fuck off.
716
00:24:15,334 --> 00:24:19,884
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