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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:02,650 - [Ricky] Warning: The following program contains 2 00:00:02,697 --> 00:00:06,007 really coarse language, weed, alcohol consumption, 3 00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:09,965 smoking and sexual infer-fer-lances. 4 00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:13,133 This content may not be suitable for viewers under 18. 5 00:00:13,177 --> 00:00:14,697 To activate parental controls, 6 00:00:14,742 --> 00:00:17,012 please press the big go [beep] yourself button 7 00:00:17,047 --> 00:00:18,137 on your remote control. 8 00:00:19,612 --> 00:00:24,572 ["Trailer Park Boys Theme" by Blain Morris] 9 00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:32,796 - Gimme a little snap. 10 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:34,001 [lid drops] 11 00:00:34,049 --> 00:00:35,829 Little snap of pepperoni. [package crinkles] 12 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:38,395 [Ricky sighs] - What kind is it, is it hot? 13 00:00:38,441 --> 00:00:41,011 - This is hot. 14 00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:41,919 - Yes. 15 00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:44,921 [pepperoni snaps] 16 00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,623 That's the best pepperoni you'll ever eat right there. 17 00:00:48,877 --> 00:00:50,917 Hot Brother's Pepperoni. 18 00:00:50,964 --> 00:00:53,094 [chomps pepperoni] 19 00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:53,928 - Yeah. - Yup. 20 00:00:55,399 --> 00:00:57,699 - I'd rather have the pepperoni deep fried, ya know? 21 00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:58,787 Dip it in honey mustard. 22 00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:00,314 That's the way to do it, man. 23 00:01:00,357 --> 00:01:02,137 [bag crinkles] 24 00:01:02,183 --> 00:01:03,793 - It's alright like that, but this is good, 25 00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,484 just like this. 26 00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,531 - Oh yeah he's making pepperoni fingers. 27 00:01:09,053 --> 00:01:09,883 - Careful, Ricky. 28 00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:11,752 Your knife is dull as fuck. 29 00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:12,802 - Yup. 30 00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:14,276 - And that's how you cut yourself. 31 00:01:14,314 --> 00:01:14,794 [knife cutting] 32 00:01:14,836 --> 00:01:15,796 [Ricky sighs] 33 00:01:15,836 --> 00:01:17,226 - [Bubbles] People don't know that, 34 00:01:17,272 --> 00:01:19,792 a dull knife is way more dangerous than a sharp knife. 35 00:01:20,967 --> 00:01:22,577 'Cause it'll still slice ya wide open. 36 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:23,880 - My fingers still fucked, 37 00:01:23,924 --> 00:01:26,534 I wonder if I'm gonna lose that fuckin' nail. 38 00:01:26,576 --> 00:01:27,926 [knife cutting] 39 00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:30,018 - [Julian] You're definitely losing that nail, man. 40 00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:31,535 - What'd you do to your finger? 41 00:01:31,577 --> 00:01:32,837 [knife cutting] 42 00:01:32,882 --> 00:01:35,322 - I fuckin' broke her on the cruise ship, man. 43 00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,101 Wasted. 44 00:01:37,274 --> 00:01:39,054 Slammed a door on my fuckin' finger. 45 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,147 Well I didn't, the waves did. 46 00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:43,138 [Bubbles chuckles] 47 00:01:43,188 --> 00:01:44,098 - The waves did? 48 00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:45,414 [bag crinkles] - [Ricky] Yeah. 49 00:01:45,449 --> 00:01:46,539 Door in my room just kept going 50 00:01:46,579 --> 00:01:50,239 [Ricky imitates door slamming] 51 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,716 Then one time, I was walking through 52 00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:53,403 and the cocksucker bit me. 53 00:01:55,276 --> 00:01:55,616 - It closed on ya. 54 00:01:57,103 --> 00:01:59,583 - Doors don't bite, Ricky. - Doors don't bite, Ricky. 55 00:01:59,624 --> 00:02:01,014 [bag crinkles] 56 00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:02,719 - Okay, so what's happening boys? 57 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,455 - I don't know, man. - Still wakin' up here. 58 00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:07,154 - Park After Dark, we're makin' that right now. 59 00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:08,191 [cutting sounds] 60 00:02:08,234 --> 00:02:09,754 - We're makin' Dormeatchos. 61 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,143 Which is Doritos with some meat, 62 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,581 [faint heavy rain sounds] 63 00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,756 and cheese, what the fuck is going on outside? 64 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:16,540 - Just started rainin' horse cocks. 65 00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,973 - Rainin', man. 66 00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:18,928 - That sounds like a fuckin', 67 00:02:18,974 --> 00:02:20,274 [cutting sounds] 68 00:02:20,322 --> 00:02:22,542 what do you call those things, a hurricocksucker. 69 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,623 - That is rainin' horse cocks out there. 70 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:26,970 [cutting sounds] 71 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,800 Jesus Murphy, did you guys hear the thunder 72 00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:31,795 this mornin'? - [Ricky] Thunder! 73 00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:32,665 - [Julian] It was pretty loud, man. 74 00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:33,675 - [Ricky] Hear the thunder! 75 00:02:34,759 --> 00:02:36,499 [Bubble's chuckles] 76 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,062 - I don't even know what song you're singin' Ricky. 77 00:02:38,108 --> 00:02:39,758 [Ricky laughs] 78 00:02:39,803 --> 00:02:41,023 Did you hear the thunder this mornin'? 79 00:02:41,064 --> 00:02:42,764 - It was pretty crazy, man. 80 00:02:42,804 --> 00:02:45,494 - [Ricky] Lightning and the thunder! 81 00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:48,243 - Fuckin' loud, felt like the whole sky was gonna blow up. 82 00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:49,583 - You know what, it was weird 'cause the thunder kept 83 00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:51,021 fuckin' just goin' on and on. 84 00:02:51,065 --> 00:02:52,945 It sounded like a goddamn - Yeah it was a long fuckin'- 85 00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,329 - jet plane, it just never ending. 86 00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:55,240 I was like fuck, is that thunder? 87 00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:56,104 - I don't think that's thunder. 88 00:02:56,153 --> 00:02:57,453 - Maybe not, it just won't stop. 89 00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:58,501 [package crinkles] 90 00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,635 Normally you hear a crack, 91 00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,205 not those big fuckin' one minute-ers. 92 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,720 [package crinkles] - Big long one 93 00:03:02,762 --> 00:03:04,762 and then there was some high pitched stuff that sounded, 94 00:03:04,806 --> 00:03:05,806 didn't even sound like thunder. 95 00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:06,499 It sounded like, 96 00:03:06,546 --> 00:03:07,766 [foil crinkling] 97 00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:10,157 like a giant bird squawkin' or somethin'. 98 00:03:10,198 --> 00:03:11,028 - Yup. 99 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:11,898 - Okay. 100 00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:13,507 [foil crinkling] 101 00:03:13,547 --> 00:03:14,587 - Alright these are lookin', 102 00:03:14,634 --> 00:03:15,944 these are lookin' a lot better man. 103 00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:17,901 With these little diced up pepperonis. 104 00:03:17,938 --> 00:03:19,028 - Oh yeah. - Oh these are, 105 00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:21,769 these are to suck one for, Dormeatchos. 106 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:23,890 - [Julian] Nice. 107 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,678 - [Ricky] I may have made a little too much pepperoni, but. 108 00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:26,682 - Yup. - Do you think it's better 109 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:27,772 to cut these first, 110 00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:30,029 or peel the plastic off 'em first? 111 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:30,680 - Peel the plastic off first, Ricky. 112 00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:31,932 - Peel the plastic, man. 113 00:03:31,983 --> 00:03:35,423 - Then you gotta do fuckin' sixteen peels. 114 00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:37,242 Where's right now you can just do one. 115 00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,809 [plastic crinkling] 116 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,673 - Lightning, and the thunder. 117 00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:45,294 - Lightning and the thunder. 118 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,593 - Thunder, thunder. 119 00:03:47,638 --> 00:03:49,118 [plastic crinkling] 120 00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,289 - What song are you singin'? 121 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,603 - The Soup Dragons, or whatever they are. 122 00:03:52,638 --> 00:03:55,468 [Bubbles chewing] 123 00:03:55,508 --> 00:03:58,388 - Alright, boys, check this poor little fucker out, man. 124 00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:00,331 12 year old boy, 125 00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:02,768 goes viral for doin' his homework under a streetlight 126 00:04:02,813 --> 00:04:05,763 because family can't afford electricity. 127 00:04:05,814 --> 00:04:07,334 How fuckin' depressin's that? 128 00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:08,679 - Jesus Murphy that's... 129 00:04:08,727 --> 00:04:09,517 - [Ricky] If it's true, it's very depressing. 130 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,643 - Look at this poor fucker. 131 00:04:12,075 --> 00:04:13,505 Now you'd never see Ricky doin' somethin' like this. 132 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,034 - [Bubbles] Lemme see him. 133 00:04:15,076 --> 00:04:16,856 - [Ricky] I've done fuckin' homework under a street light 134 00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,202 when the power was shut off. 135 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,640 - That, no you didn't, man. 136 00:04:20,685 --> 00:04:23,345 Well, yeah when your power was shut off. 137 00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:24,561 - That fuckin' sucks, man. 138 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,378 - It's fucked. - See we're 139 00:04:25,424 --> 00:04:26,854 pretty lucky boys. 140 00:04:26,903 --> 00:04:29,163 - Ah, you son of a bastard. 141 00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,038 Fuck you knife! 142 00:04:30,077 --> 00:04:32,737 - See this, this guy right here. 143 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,953 He wants to go to school so bad. 144 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,301 - Yeah. 145 00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:37,249 - He's doin' his homework under the streetlights. 146 00:04:37,296 --> 00:04:38,466 - Just like me. 147 00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:39,903 - You should fuckin' think about that, man. 148 00:04:39,948 --> 00:04:41,688 - Ricky, you couldn't pay you 149 00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:44,471 to do fuckin' homework under a streetlight. 150 00:04:44,514 --> 00:04:45,604 - Or do homework. 151 00:04:45,645 --> 00:04:47,175 - Correction, if you were to pay me, 152 00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:48,650 I would gladly try to do it. 153 00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:50,816 - Well... - See but this guy, 154 00:04:50,862 --> 00:04:52,472 he would love just to fuckin'- 155 00:04:52,515 --> 00:04:54,955 - I think that guy's great, I'm a big fan of him. 156 00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,433 [chips crunching] 157 00:04:56,472 --> 00:04:57,472 - Well... - He'd do anything 158 00:04:57,515 --> 00:04:58,945 to have a fuckin' trailer like this, 159 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,294 with the power turned on. - Yeah, fuckin' raised makin' 160 00:05:02,299 --> 00:05:03,479 these fuckin' things. 161 00:05:04,951 --> 00:05:06,251 - [Ricky] It's kinda fucked up. 162 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,430 I shouldn't of stuck those fuckin' things together. 163 00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:12,614 Alright, so that was a happy story I guess. 164 00:05:12,648 --> 00:05:13,828 - I'm tryin' to, yeah, I've been tryin' to 165 00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:14,995 get some feel good stories here, 166 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,250 but there's nothin', man. 167 00:05:16,301 --> 00:05:18,821 - How in the fuck is that a feel good story? 168 00:05:18,866 --> 00:05:19,916 - Aw this ones even worse, man. 169 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,133 This fuckin', this chick... 170 00:05:22,171 --> 00:05:25,001 Aw man, this is fuckin' gross! 171 00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:29,301 They find four living bees in this woman's eye. 172 00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:31,695 Feeding off her tears. 173 00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:33,777 Like how the fuck, what is wrong with you? 174 00:05:33,824 --> 00:05:35,774 - [Ricky] What're you talkin' about, man? 175 00:05:35,825 --> 00:05:37,085 - Try flippin' your lid down 176 00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,569 and checkin' out what's irritating ya. 177 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,957 Ya know what I mean? - [Bubbles] Bees! 178 00:05:40,999 --> 00:05:42,299 - Bees! Four of 'em. 179 00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:43,257 - Like honey bees? 180 00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:43,914 - Like fuckin' bees! 181 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:45,045 - Bumblebees? 182 00:05:45,086 --> 00:05:47,176 - Look at these fuckin' things, look. 183 00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:48,048 For real are you kidding me? 184 00:05:48,087 --> 00:05:49,477 - That can't be real! 185 00:05:49,522 --> 00:05:49,822 - You are dumb! 186 00:05:51,261 --> 00:05:53,701 - If you don't know you got bees livin' in your eye, 187 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:54,910 - Oh yeah she was twenty- 188 00:05:54,957 --> 00:05:56,347 - somethin's wrong with your fuckin' brain! 189 00:05:56,393 --> 00:05:57,873 - She's twenty somethin'. 190 00:05:57,914 --> 00:06:00,784 Goin' to university with bees in her fuckin' eyes. 191 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,138 - That, what website are you findin' this on? 192 00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:04,576 That sounds like the Onion. 193 00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:09,089 - I'll tell ya, I can still get a ten outta ten boys. 194 00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:12,353 [Mr. Lahey singing gibberish] [bowling ball rolls] 195 00:06:12,394 --> 00:06:14,094 [bowling pins falling] 196 00:06:14,134 --> 00:06:15,394 Mark me up, got a seven. 197 00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:16,478 Gotta take my pants off. 198 00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:18,535 - [Doug] No, no, no, put them back on! 199 00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:21,359 [laughter] 200 00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:22,656 [bowling ball striking pins] 201 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:23,489 [bowling pins falling] 202 00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:25,266 - Oh! Not bad! 203 00:06:25,309 --> 00:06:26,519 [bowling ball striking pins] 204 00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,920 [pins falling] 205 00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:29,091 [cheering] - Whoa! 206 00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:30,566 - [Lenny] Yeah! Yeah! 207 00:06:30,613 --> 00:06:32,043 - I can do this. 208 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:35,482 [Mr. Lahey singing a gibberish tune] 209 00:06:35,527 --> 00:06:37,667 [bowling ball rolling] 210 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,051 [bowling ball striking pins] 211 00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:41,233 [bowling pins falling] [Mr. Lahey singing gibberish] 212 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,697 - [Lenny] You don't wanna get beaten by a drunk, guys, 213 00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:43,226 come on. 214 00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,267 - Watch this. 215 00:06:44,311 --> 00:06:45,781 - [Lenny] C'mon, Doug, pick it up! 216 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,573 - [Mr. Lahey] We're lettin' the liquor do the bowlin'. 217 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,446 - [Doug] Man. [Mr. Lahey laughs] 218 00:06:48,486 --> 00:06:49,926 - Now, what do ya want now? 219 00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:51,924 - You're gettin' a little [gibberish]. 220 00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:54,184 Well, what's the score boys, what's the score? 221 00:06:54,226 --> 00:06:57,056 - The score you gotta beat loser is 107. 222 00:06:57,095 --> 00:06:57,835 [bowling pins crashing] 223 00:06:57,878 --> 00:06:59,098 - A hundred and seven? 224 00:06:59,139 --> 00:07:00,829 - Right. - And how much have I got? 225 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:02,048 - You're eighty-eight, you're eighty-eight. 226 00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:03,306 - You gotta two marks goin' out, buddy. 227 00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:04,007 - I gotta get two marks? 228 00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:05,363 - Two marks goin' out. 229 00:07:05,401 --> 00:07:06,191 - Well guess what? - And you never got two marks 230 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,007 in a row in your life. 231 00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:07,793 - What I'm gonna do boys! 232 00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:08,876 - Oh, now what's in there? 233 00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,273 - I'm gonna pick up my secret weapon. 234 00:07:10,315 --> 00:07:11,835 - [Carl] Oh yeah, sure - What do you got in there? 235 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:12,749 - [Lenny] What the hell 236 00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:13,842 is that? - This is 140 proof, 237 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,010 this is the- - 140! Who hoo! 238 00:07:15,054 --> 00:07:17,054 - That got you banned last time, remember? 239 00:07:17,098 --> 00:07:20,018 [Mr. Lahey growling gibberish] 240 00:07:20,055 --> 00:07:23,275 - Today I have the [gibberish] of the rightness-esh 241 00:07:23,316 --> 00:07:24,326 in my soul. 242 00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,189 [techno music] 243 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,930 Alright, pass it around boys. 244 00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,670 Through the back door. 245 00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:32,798 Turbo shit-bags comin' up! 246 00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:34,449 Watch this little shit. 247 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,271 [Mr. Lahey makes swooshing noise] 248 00:07:36,318 --> 00:07:37,968 [bowling pins crashing] 249 00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,233 [cheering] 250 00:07:39,274 --> 00:07:41,274 - [Doug] Oh, Lahey, Lahey! 251 00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:43,238 - Holy Jesus Christ! - Lahey! 252 00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,405 - Lahey! 253 00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:46,839 - If he makes one more mark, he beats us! 254 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,714 - No way! - Strike? 255 00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:49,284 - A strike and you win! 256 00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,099 - No problem! 257 00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:52,626 [mumbles incoherently] 258 00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:53,447 Okay, hold that for me. 259 00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:54,234 [bottle clinking] 260 00:07:54,276 --> 00:07:57,276 [techno music continues] 261 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,190 Here we go. 262 00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:02,891 [techno music intensifies] 263 00:08:02,929 --> 00:08:05,019 [bowling ball growling] 264 00:08:05,061 --> 00:08:07,321 - [Carl] How can a drunk like that, throw a ball like that? 265 00:08:07,365 --> 00:08:08,975 [bowling pins crashing] 266 00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:09,927 - [Lenny] Oh my gosh! 267 00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:11,323 - Ta-da! 268 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,665 [cheering] 269 00:08:12,713 --> 00:08:13,763 - Oh my gosh! 270 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:14,800 [Mr. Lahey yelling excitedly] 271 00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:16,534 - You did it, dammit! 272 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,490 - It's like the liquor made him better! 273 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,060 - What the hell was that? 274 00:08:21,105 --> 00:08:23,195 - I got, I got a little drinky poo! 275 00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,977 Oh not only do I get a drinky poo, 276 00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:26,239 I get this fuckin' thing! 277 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,455 I waited twenty years for this boys. 278 00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:31,628 Twenty years. 279 00:08:31,672 --> 00:08:33,062 I came, 280 00:08:33,107 --> 00:08:34,587 I saw, 281 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,329 I conquered. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah! 282 00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:37,368 - Veni, vidi, vici. 283 00:08:37,412 --> 00:08:38,322 [upbeat music] 284 00:08:38,368 --> 00:08:39,458 [kisses trophy] 285 00:08:39,499 --> 00:08:40,769 Ecce homo. 286 00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,673 [bowling pins crash] 287 00:08:42,716 --> 00:08:45,946 Let's see what we got for the lucky ducky. 288 00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:47,848 Lucky, lucky. 289 00:08:47,891 --> 00:08:49,901 You know what the lucky ducky says. 290 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:50,805 [imitates explosion noise] 291 00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:52,068 Nice one. 292 00:08:52,109 --> 00:08:54,799 [singing gibberish] 293 00:08:54,849 --> 00:08:57,589 I'm a winner every time I [mumbles]. 294 00:08:57,631 --> 00:09:00,721 Say goodby to all your little shitty fuckin' ducky friends. 295 00:09:02,763 --> 00:09:04,063 [squeaking noise] 296 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,331 Oh listen. 297 00:09:05,372 --> 00:09:08,112 [squeaking noise] 298 00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:10,505 That's right, never cry shit-duck. 299 00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:13,546 [glass breaking] 300 00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:16,760 That's my favorite magical bowling ball. 301 00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:19,848 I don't, what am I, little ducky. 302 00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:23,065 [Mr. Lahey speaking gibberish in a duck voice] 303 00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,933 [bright music] We'll see you next time 304 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,202 for another exciting episode 305 00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:30,644 of Jim Lahey and the Liquor Stories. 306 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,199 [Mr. Lahey speaking gibberish in a duck voice] 307 00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:34,805 Fuck off. 308 00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:37,464 [bowling balls crashing] 309 00:09:37,506 --> 00:09:40,246 [slurping sounds] 310 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,065 Can't waste good liquor. 311 00:09:46,203 --> 00:09:47,463 - [Bubbles] I came down to the jail 312 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,338 as fast as I could once Ricky called me, I mean, 313 00:09:50,377 --> 00:09:52,037 I can't imagine what he's goin' through. 314 00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:53,734 This is a day that I 315 00:09:53,769 --> 00:09:55,599 always thought, ya know, could come someday, 316 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,118 but I just hoped it wouldn't. 317 00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:00,121 But it looks like it's here, so all I can do is just go in 318 00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:03,161 and be as supportive as I can and I just gotta be braced 319 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,475 for when he tells me... 320 00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:05,550 - [Loudspeaker] Bubbles proceed to visitation. 321 00:10:05,597 --> 00:10:07,767 - Okay I'm goin' in, goin' in. 322 00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:10,164 [Bubbles sighs nervously] 323 00:10:10,206 --> 00:10:12,686 [Bubbles sighs heavily] 324 00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:17,037 [sound of door opening and closing] 325 00:10:20,294 --> 00:10:21,384 - Hey Ricky. 326 00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:22,685 - Hey Bubs, thanks for coming, man. 327 00:10:22,729 --> 00:10:23,819 - Hey Julian. - Hey Bubs. 328 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:26,250 - Thanks for being here, Julian. 329 00:10:26,295 --> 00:10:28,955 Boys, I got some 330 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:32,390 really, really bad news today at the fuckin' infirmary. 331 00:10:32,426 --> 00:10:34,776 - I know Ricky, I know, just, 332 00:10:34,817 --> 00:10:35,907 I been tryin' to get ready for it 333 00:10:35,948 --> 00:10:37,248 so I think the best thing to do 334 00:10:37,296 --> 00:10:39,916 is just fuckin' hit me with it. 335 00:10:40,818 --> 00:10:41,908 [Ricky sighs heavily] 336 00:10:41,949 --> 00:10:45,519 - I'm fuckin', I'm shrinkin' to death. 337 00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:46,348 - [Bubbles] Ricky! 338 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,514 - You're shrinking to death? 339 00:10:47,558 --> 00:10:48,768 What the fuck does that even mean, man? 340 00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:49,859 - What are ya talking about? 341 00:10:49,906 --> 00:10:51,296 - It should happen in less than a year. 342 00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:52,522 - Jesus Ricky! 343 00:10:52,558 --> 00:10:54,948 - I thought you were fuckin' gonna tell me 344 00:10:54,993 --> 00:10:57,993 you fuckin' had cancer or somethin' Ricky. 345 00:10:58,038 --> 00:10:59,698 - No man, it's just as bad though. 346 00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:01,173 I'm gonna fuckin' shrink to death. 347 00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:03,212 - [Bubbles] What do ya mean you're shrinkin' to death? 348 00:11:03,256 --> 00:11:05,126 - I did the math and 349 00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:06,829 within five years I'll probably be the size 350 00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,475 of a fuckin' squirrel. 351 00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:09,347 Maybe a rabbit. 352 00:11:11,735 --> 00:11:13,305 - This is the news? 353 00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,224 - Yeah and if it keeps going, I mean, 354 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,568 eventually I'm might be fuckin' as small as an ant. 355 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:18,695 - Ricky! 356 00:11:18,735 --> 00:11:19,695 - Maybe a bigger bug like a dragonfly, 357 00:11:19,736 --> 00:11:21,046 but if I'm that small, 358 00:11:21,084 --> 00:11:23,044 I wouldn't even be able to smoke dope anymore, like, 359 00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,615 what's the fuckin' point? - First of all, 360 00:11:24,649 --> 00:11:25,999 you would be able to smoke dope, 361 00:11:26,041 --> 00:11:27,741 but I don't think you're gonna shrink 362 00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,261 to the size of a fuckin' ant. 363 00:11:29,302 --> 00:11:31,862 - Just promise me if I ever become the size of an ant, 364 00:11:31,911 --> 00:11:34,001 and I'm still alive, you'll build me like a nice little ant 365 00:11:34,042 --> 00:11:36,612 things outta match sticks or somethin' and you'll feed me 366 00:11:36,651 --> 00:11:38,181 and if you could just smoke a joint once in a while 367 00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:40,736 and blow into my little ant face. 368 00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:42,692 - Ricky. - Ricky. 369 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:43,658 - This is fucked. 370 00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:45,136 - Julian did you know about this? 371 00:11:45,174 --> 00:11:47,304 - I, Bubs do you think I'd be here if, 372 00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:50,308 if he fuckin' told me he was shrinkin' to death? 373 00:11:50,349 --> 00:11:52,049 Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? 374 00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:55,658 - What, okay Ricky, just back the fuck up here, lets... 375 00:11:55,697 --> 00:11:58,137 Why do you think you're shrinkin' in the first place? 376 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,736 - I'm an inch and a half shorter than I was 377 00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:01,954 the last time I went there and they measured me. 378 00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:05,141 - So that's all it is, is just that you got measured. 379 00:12:05,177 --> 00:12:08,137 - And I, from what I've read there's no way to stop it. 380 00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:10,827 - But Ricky, maybe they just wrote it down wrong. 381 00:12:10,873 --> 00:12:13,833 The first time, or they fucked up with the measuring tape. 382 00:12:13,873 --> 00:12:15,823 Like, you have no proof that you're shrinkin', do ya? 383 00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:17,743 - They don't give a fuck about how tall you are, man! 384 00:12:17,787 --> 00:12:20,097 - Man if I do, what, okay, riddle me this. 385 00:12:20,135 --> 00:12:21,965 If I did become the size of a little ant, 386 00:12:22,004 --> 00:12:25,144 would my brain still have the same smart? 387 00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:28,748 - Well... [Bubbles sighs heavily] 388 00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:30,798 Ricky, you don't gotta worry about it. 389 00:12:30,831 --> 00:12:34,831 Yes you would probably retain your same smart. 390 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,046 - You'd probably be smarter. 391 00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:38,914 - So what then, so, I mean... 392 00:12:38,963 --> 00:12:40,223 - So you're biggest worry 393 00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:41,838 is that you're gonna be the size of an ant 394 00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,316 and you won't be able to smoke a joint. 395 00:12:43,355 --> 00:12:44,795 - But if I was an ant and I smoked it, 396 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,103 I, I wouldn't need as much probably, 397 00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:47,658 but my brain would be like, 398 00:12:47,703 --> 00:12:49,223 this is fucked 'cause you're not, 399 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,409 you can smoke a lot more than this even though you can't, 400 00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:53,573 and then what happens with my brain? 401 00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:55,267 - Ricky, if you became an ant 402 00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:57,663 and you retained all your fuckin' knowledge, 403 00:12:57,705 --> 00:12:59,265 you would be able to get high, 404 00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:01,273 'cause I would blow smoke at ya. 405 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,923 Or I'd make ya a little joint the size of a piece of rice 406 00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:04,966 and light it for ya and 407 00:13:05,009 --> 00:13:05,919 you could just suck on it. - Bubs. 408 00:13:05,966 --> 00:13:07,616 - Bubs! - Thanks Bubs. 409 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,662 I love you buddy. 410 00:13:09,662 --> 00:13:10,622 You make me very- - This is really 411 00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:12,312 why you got me down here, all the 412 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,929 fuckin' drivin' down here panickin', 413 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,317 almost fuckin' shit myself in the taxi. 414 00:13:17,359 --> 00:13:19,269 Hyperventilatin', fuckin' thought you were dyin' 415 00:13:19,316 --> 00:13:20,796 and now ya tell me you're worried 416 00:13:20,837 --> 00:13:23,577 you're gonna turn into a fuckin' squirrel and then an ant! 417 00:13:24,751 --> 00:13:26,491 - How would you feel? 418 00:13:26,534 --> 00:13:27,884 - Ricky you coulda just told me on the phone 419 00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:29,495 and I coulda straightened it out for ya 420 00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:31,585 and not came all this way. 421 00:13:31,622 --> 00:13:32,712 - I thought you might have some advice, 422 00:13:32,752 --> 00:13:33,842 like I was thinkin' maybe you could 423 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:35,753 bring me down some like weed fertilizers 424 00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:38,716 and see if I could get growed up a bit more again. 425 00:13:38,753 --> 00:13:39,933 - You're not eatin', drinkin' ... 426 00:13:39,970 --> 00:13:42,150 - People don't shrink to death Ricky! 427 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,018 - I am! 428 00:13:43,058 --> 00:13:45,448 - Dude, nobody is! 429 00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:49,973 - Ricky say maybe somehow ya shrank a tiny bit, 430 00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,625 just maybe from fuckin' dehydration or somethin', 431 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,667 I don't know, maybe you shrank. 432 00:13:54,712 --> 00:13:55,412 [knocking] 433 00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:56,501 - [Guard] Wrap it up! 434 00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,978 - Even if ya did, you're not gonna shrink 435 00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:00,626 to the size of a fuckin' squirrel. 436 00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,318 Nobody's ever done that in the history of man. 437 00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:04,025 - You can't go from bein' a human 438 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,930 to a fuckin' squirrel Ricky, and then 439 00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:07,364 from a squirrel to a fuckin' ant. 440 00:14:07,408 --> 00:14:09,368 It's impossible. - No, I, its just that size. 441 00:14:09,409 --> 00:14:11,019 I'd still look like this, but just 442 00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:13,321 like this big. - Oh, Ricky, man. 443 00:14:13,366 --> 00:14:15,806 - Little, tiny ant Ricky. 444 00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:16,894 Oh my Jesus. - Thanks for comin' Bubs 445 00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,501 and thanks for if it does happen, 446 00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:19,811 you're gonna look after me buddy. 447 00:14:19,844 --> 00:14:21,364 Now I can sleep tonight. - If , I promise ya if ya 448 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,580 turn into a fuckin' ant I will have you the nicest ant home 449 00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:25,838 you've ever seen. 450 00:14:25,889 --> 00:14:27,109 - Bubs. - Thanks buddy. 451 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,200 [pounds fist on glass] 452 00:14:28,237 --> 00:14:29,887 - You'll have an ant mansion, Ricky. 453 00:14:30,759 --> 00:14:32,589 [whispers] Jesus Murphy. 454 00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:34,379 - Alright, we'll see ya soon man thanks. 455 00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:35,802 - [Bubbles] Okay. It does make me feel better. 456 00:14:35,846 --> 00:14:36,676 - See ya Bubs. 457 00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:38,537 - Okay, see yas. 458 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,366 [knocking sounds] 459 00:14:43,326 --> 00:14:45,846 - I can't believe I'm fuckin' shrinkin' to death. 460 00:14:45,892 --> 00:14:47,112 - [Julian] You're not fuckin' shrinkin' to death. 461 00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,412 - [Ricky] I'm fucked! 462 00:14:49,457 --> 00:14:51,977 [door closes] 463 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,118 - This is what I deal with. 464 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,326 [Ricky sighs] 465 00:14:57,371 --> 00:14:59,201 - Alright, welcome back to Gettin' Learnt with Ricky. 466 00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:01,071 Brand new year for most of you people. 467 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,631 I don't start my new year til the fuckin' 468 00:15:02,676 --> 00:15:04,236 snow is gone at least because 469 00:15:04,285 --> 00:15:06,195 nothin's changed, it's not a fuckin' new year, 470 00:15:06,242 --> 00:15:07,672 still fuckin' winter. 471 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,980 Anyway, hopefully it won't be a long winter this year, 472 00:15:10,024 --> 00:15:12,204 and having my new year in March or 473 00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:13,292 maybe 4/20. 474 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,289 It's a good time to start a new year. 475 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,810 But anyway, this time of year is fuckin' cold 476 00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:17,981 for most of us in Canada. 477 00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:19,505 All you people livin' down in 478 00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:22,298 the sunny fuckin' United States or US and A 479 00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:23,461 or whatever the fuck you're called. 480 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,205 Good for you guys, it's cold up here. 481 00:15:25,244 --> 00:15:26,934 It's a fuckin' shitty time of year. 482 00:15:26,983 --> 00:15:29,243 So this time of year, we got no money, 483 00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,468 we need to get extra high. 484 00:15:30,505 --> 00:15:31,335 And how do you do that? 485 00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:32,636 Fuckin' bongs. 486 00:15:32,679 --> 00:15:35,459 So today's episode, we're gonna talk about 487 00:15:35,506 --> 00:15:37,066 bongs [marker squeaks] 488 00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:38,596 and how to make the fuckin' things, because 489 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,077 why would you buy one right now? 490 00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:41,986 You don't have a lot of money, but you need to get high. 491 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,248 You can make a fuckin' bong outta pretty much anything. 492 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,590 Now bongs are pretty much, it is science, 493 00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,728 and there's a pretty much a simple fuckin' science to it. 494 00:15:48,768 --> 00:15:50,288 [container rattles] 495 00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,164 Normally I'll make them out of like a fuckin' 496 00:15:52,204 --> 00:15:54,114 masonry jar or ya know somethin' like that, 497 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,991 or maybe a can or some kind of a fuckin' 498 00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:59,210 like a bottle thingy like this that has a top. 499 00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:01,161 [marker tapping] 500 00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:01,815 Top 501 00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:03,117 [marking squeaking] 502 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,332 And what you want to do here is, you're gonna 503 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,160 put a hole in the fuckin' side of it. 504 00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,293 This is gonna be your little thing 505 00:16:08,336 --> 00:16:09,896 that comes down into the water. 506 00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:12,251 That's you're little, 507 00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:14,644 that's where you wanna put your dope and shit right here. 508 00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:16,775 Then you need another little fuckin' opening or a straw. 509 00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:19,556 I like to use a straw that doesn't go into the water. 510 00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:21,338 That's where, that's your sucker point. 511 00:16:21,382 --> 00:16:22,692 [marker tapping] 512 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:23,650 Suck. 513 00:16:24,599 --> 00:16:25,729 So then what you wanna do, 514 00:16:25,773 --> 00:16:26,993 put a bit of water in it, 515 00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:30,736 this part has to be under the water, 516 00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,213 this is where your fuckin' shit's gonna come in, 517 00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,302 and all your smokes gonna come in through here. 518 00:16:34,339 --> 00:16:35,389 And then when you're sucking on it, 519 00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:37,036 it's gonna come up through here 520 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,299 and right into you're fuckin' lungs, delicious. 521 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,640 Could be weed, could be hash. 522 00:16:40,688 --> 00:16:42,908 Sometimes a little combos nice. 523 00:16:42,949 --> 00:16:44,169 So we're gonna show you how to make one of these 524 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,521 fuckin' things out of pretty much anything. 525 00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:47,169 Now I will say this. 526 00:16:47,211 --> 00:16:48,741 [container rattling] 527 00:16:48,776 --> 00:16:50,776 Bongs are awesome because they do filter out a bunch of the 528 00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,300 shitty shit and make the smoke healthy for ya. 529 00:16:52,342 --> 00:16:53,562 [container rattling] 530 00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:55,602 But they also filter out some of the fuckin' THC, 531 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,257 so if you wanna get extra high, 532 00:16:57,299 --> 00:16:59,129 sometimes it's better to just smoke a joint. 533 00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:00,739 But anyway, that's a different show. 534 00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:02,777 Let's fuckin' make some bongs! 535 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,561 Alright, as you can see, you can pretty much make 536 00:17:04,604 --> 00:17:06,214 pipes and bongs outta fuckin' anything. 537 00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:07,736 So, we're gonna start with pipes 'cause some of you 538 00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,388 are probably too fuckin' lazy or too dumb 539 00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:11,871 to make a water bong even though it's easy as fuck. 540 00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,123 Or maybe you're just in a fuckin' rush 541 00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,080 to get some smoke in your lungs, so. 542 00:17:16,128 --> 00:17:17,738 Pipes you can make outta fuckin' anything here. 543 00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:19,169 Here's a simple pipe. 544 00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:21,125 Can, rip off that little thing that cuts ya, 545 00:17:21,171 --> 00:17:23,351 poke some little holes in here. 546 00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:25,179 Fill that up with some fuckin', 547 00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,526 some weed or whatever and... 548 00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:28,354 [lighter flicking] 549 00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:29,300 [inhales deeply] 550 00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:31,216 [Ricky exhales] 551 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,829 Very simple, very fuckin' quick. 552 00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,128 But if you wanna get creative, 553 00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:36,393 you can also make fuckin' bongs outta fruit. 554 00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:38,784 Nice little pineapple bong with a carrot. 555 00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:41,356 Just hollow out that and put some tin foil in there, 556 00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:42,001 ya know and.. 557 00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:43,053 [Ricky inhales] 558 00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:44,397 [Ricky exhales] Adds a nice little 559 00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:46,605 flavor to your fuckin' weed if it's pretty harsh. 560 00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,433 Shitty fuckin' mall dope. 561 00:17:48,479 --> 00:17:50,429 There's a watermelon one with an apple at the top 562 00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:52,739 and a carrot, so that's gonna have three fuckin' flavors, 563 00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:54,483 like a nice little mixture. 564 00:17:54,523 --> 00:17:55,913 Or maybe you don't have any fuckin' fruit, 565 00:17:55,958 --> 00:17:57,748 but you got a big bologna log, 566 00:17:57,784 --> 00:18:00,004 got some fuckin' pepperoni so. 567 00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,615 Hollow out the bologna log in the middle there, 568 00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,355 put a nice little place where you can put this little 569 00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:05,954 sucker device. 570 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,563 Take a nice piece of pepperoni, it's about a 571 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,046 five and a half inch cock of pepperoni there I guess. 572 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,350 Then you just wanna drill out the middle of that. 573 00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:16,145 [drill whirring] 574 00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:22,009 [drill whirring] 575 00:18:22,048 --> 00:18:23,798 There ya go, so you can fuckin' see right through that. 576 00:18:23,831 --> 00:18:24,401 It's perfect. 577 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,740 [Ricky inhales] 578 00:18:25,787 --> 00:18:27,177 You wanna put that fuckin' thing right in there. 579 00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,443 Actually that kinda looks like 580 00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:31,788 somebody, some dude with a cock or a cigar, 581 00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:33,182 so you can draw a little face on it if you want. 582 00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:34,094 Might be fun. 583 00:18:35,789 --> 00:18:38,049 Just a little guy smoking there. 584 00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:39,274 So then what you want to do is you wanna to take 585 00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:40,752 some tin foil, 586 00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:44,139 [foil crinkling] 587 00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:45,401 Put that right in the top here, 588 00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:48,402 [foil tapping] 589 00:18:48,443 --> 00:18:49,843 and take a little fuckin nail or some, 590 00:18:51,313 --> 00:18:52,393 poke some little fuckin' holes in there with somethin'. 591 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:53,663 [tapping foil] 592 00:18:53,704 --> 00:18:55,004 You could use your cock if it's really tiny. 593 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,272 [Ricky chuckling] 594 00:18:57,314 --> 00:18:59,144 And there you go, nice little fuckin' pipe. 595 00:18:59,183 --> 00:19:00,013 Put your shit in there, 596 00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:00,842 [Ricky inhaling] 597 00:19:00,879 --> 00:19:01,529 [Ricky exhaling] 598 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:02,925 Beautiful! 599 00:19:02,966 --> 00:19:04,186 Tastes a little like meat, which is kinda fucked 600 00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,488 unless you really like meat like I do. 601 00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:08,662 I like honey garlic pepperoni, puts a nice flavor on it. 602 00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:10,316 And the best part is once you're done all of this, 603 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,058 all the dope kinda gets absorbed into the fruit or the meat, 604 00:19:13,098 --> 00:19:15,488 you fuckin' eat it and you get extra high. 605 00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:16,403 [tin foil crinkling] 606 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,316 - Um, if Chris Hadfield married 607 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,789 a lady with the last name Flowers, 608 00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:25,446 and they just kept their names and hyphenated them. 609 00:19:25,491 --> 00:19:25,931 - Yeah? 610 00:19:27,187 --> 00:19:30,407 - His last name, er her last name would be 611 00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:31,238 Julia 612 00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:33,488 Hadfield-Flowers. 613 00:19:33,535 --> 00:19:35,545 [Ricky chuckling] 614 00:19:35,579 --> 00:19:36,409 - What? 615 00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:38,319 [chips crunching] 616 00:19:38,362 --> 00:19:39,272 - What the fuck are you... 617 00:19:39,319 --> 00:19:41,279 - Julia... - I'm just sayin', 618 00:19:41,319 --> 00:19:42,929 you have to be careful who you marry 'cause if 619 00:19:42,971 --> 00:19:45,971 they're gonna keep the last names and hyphenate them. 620 00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:48,095 - Ricky, there's no weed in these is there? 621 00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,718 - Nah, no, not these ones. 622 00:19:53,755 --> 00:19:54,755 Took me a second. 623 00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:56,148 - What do ya mean not these ones? 624 00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,320 Did you put oil on the other ones? 625 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,444 [Ricky chewing] 626 00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:01,795 'Cause I feel like I'm startin' to 627 00:20:01,843 --> 00:20:03,673 get baked. - You know what? 628 00:20:03,712 --> 00:20:05,062 There could be a bit of weed butter. 629 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,154 I remember melting weed butter last night. 630 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,413 - I can feel myself getting baked. 631 00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:11,763 - That's great! 632 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,800 Just let it run with ya. 633 00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,014 - Better go with it, man. 634 00:20:14,061 --> 00:20:15,411 [Bubbles sigh heavily] [chips crunching] 635 00:20:15,453 --> 00:20:16,843 - Ricky. 636 00:20:16,888 --> 00:20:19,758 - Or if you married someone with the last name Horse. 637 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,541 Julia Hadfield-Horse. 638 00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:24,675 [Bubbles chuckling menacingly] 639 00:20:24,715 --> 00:20:26,365 - See that shouldn't be funny to me! 640 00:20:26,412 --> 00:20:27,582 - Yeah. 641 00:20:27,628 --> 00:20:29,498 I'm not laughin' at all. - Why am I laughin'? 642 00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:30,322 - [Ricky] Julia 643 00:20:30,368 --> 00:20:31,588 - [Bubbles] Hadfield-Horse 644 00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,849 [Julian chuckling] 645 00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:34,550 Julia Hadfield-Horse. 646 00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:37,026 [Bubbles chuckling] 647 00:20:37,064 --> 00:20:39,374 Oh I guess I might as well just keep eatin' 'em now. 648 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,407 - Just go with it, man, who gives a fuck. 649 00:20:41,456 --> 00:20:43,146 - What if her last name was Cox? 650 00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:47,718 I guess that's not that great. 651 00:20:47,762 --> 00:20:48,892 Julia Hadfield-Cox. 652 00:20:48,936 --> 00:20:50,416 - Julia Hadfield-Cox 653 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,507 [Ricky chuckling] 654 00:20:51,544 --> 00:20:53,374 [chips crunching] 655 00:20:53,415 --> 00:20:56,855 Like what, what the fuck is wrong with your brain, man? 656 00:20:58,155 --> 00:20:58,935 Fuck. 657 00:20:58,980 --> 00:20:59,990 - What if he married... 658 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:02,464 What if her last name was finger? 659 00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:03,943 Julia Hadfield-Finger. 660 00:21:03,981 --> 00:21:07,201 [Ricky and Bubbles chuckling] 661 00:21:07,243 --> 00:21:08,203 [Bubbles cackles] 662 00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:10,543 - What does that fuckin' mean? 663 00:21:10,591 --> 00:21:11,411 - I get it! 664 00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:14,110 What if he married Julia 665 00:21:15,852 --> 00:21:18,422 I-remember-when-I? 666 00:21:18,461 --> 00:21:19,901 Julia I-remember-when-I. 667 00:21:21,809 --> 00:21:23,339 [Ricky and Julian chuckling] - What? 668 00:21:23,374 --> 00:21:26,504 - Julia I-remember-when-I-Hadfield. 669 00:21:26,549 --> 00:21:27,939 [Bubbles laughs] 670 00:21:27,983 --> 00:21:31,033 And then it got turned into a parkin' lot. 671 00:21:31,071 --> 00:21:31,991 [Ricky, Bubbles and Julian chuckling] 672 00:21:32,028 --> 00:21:32,988 - Bubs, Man! 673 00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:34,118 Keep eatin' those fuckin' things. 674 00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:35,379 - Don't eat any more of these. - Scared? 675 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,940 - No, no, keep, keep going. - Whoo, hoo, hoo! 676 00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:38,165 - I like this guy. - I'm tryin to fuckin' make, 677 00:21:38,202 --> 00:21:39,642 don't make my brain explode. 678 00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,291 - Ooh baby. 679 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,944 - Americans invaded Canada twice. 680 00:21:43,985 --> 00:21:45,595 - Yup. - 1775 and 1812 681 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,078 and they lost both times. 682 00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:48,167 - That's right. 683 00:21:48,204 --> 00:21:49,724 - However, I think if they did it now, 684 00:21:49,769 --> 00:21:50,899 we would be fucked! 685 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,343 - Oh, we'd be totally fucked, man. 686 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,508 - The war would last about twenty minutes. 687 00:21:55,552 --> 00:21:57,552 - It might be a little hard to defend 688 00:21:57,596 --> 00:21:59,166 at this point. - Wrap it up, fuck! 689 00:22:00,771 --> 00:22:03,901 Third largest oil reserves after Saudi Arabia and Venezuela. 690 00:22:05,293 --> 00:22:07,203 - Alright, that's a lot of oil. 691 00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:08,600 - We were the third country into space 692 00:22:08,641 --> 00:22:10,861 after the US and the USSR. 693 00:22:10,902 --> 00:22:12,292 I didn't even know we went to space. 694 00:22:12,337 --> 00:22:13,337 - What? - I thought we just did 695 00:22:13,381 --> 00:22:14,211 with other people. 696 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,464 - Canada Space Agency, CSA. 697 00:22:18,512 --> 00:22:19,722 - This said we're 698 00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:22,383 one of the best ones in the world in 1962. 699 00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:23,386 - Oh in '62? 700 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:29,779 - Our money, Mexico's money, India's, Russia and Israel have 701 00:22:29,817 --> 00:22:32,907 bray-ille like markings for the blind. 702 00:22:32,948 --> 00:22:33,858 - Braille. 703 00:22:33,905 --> 00:22:35,565 - Braille, little bumpy things. 704 00:22:35,601 --> 00:22:36,381 - The little bumpy things. 705 00:22:36,427 --> 00:22:38,207 - Tomato, tomahto? 706 00:22:38,254 --> 00:22:40,384 - No it's not tomato, tomahto thing, man. 707 00:22:40,428 --> 00:22:41,608 - It's not a tomato anything. - That's pretty awesome. 708 00:22:41,645 --> 00:22:43,825 Why doesn't every fuckin' country have that? 709 00:22:44,732 --> 00:22:45,822 - Well, most do now. 710 00:22:45,863 --> 00:22:47,303 - This is fucked. 711 00:22:47,342 --> 00:22:51,822 Canada has fewer people than Tokyo's metropolitan area. 712 00:22:51,864 --> 00:22:53,604 And we're the second biggest country in the world. 713 00:22:53,646 --> 00:22:54,776 That's weird, man. 714 00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:56,040 - Yeah, man. - That's a busy city. 715 00:22:56,081 --> 00:22:57,521 - Say that again. 716 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,260 - We have less people than Tokyo's, 717 00:23:00,299 --> 00:23:02,869 Tokyo City's metropolitan area. 718 00:23:02,908 --> 00:23:04,698 Just downtown Tokyo has more people than Canada, 719 00:23:04,734 --> 00:23:05,734 that's fucked! - Downtown Tokyo 720 00:23:05,779 --> 00:23:07,869 has more than 30 million people? 721 00:23:07,909 --> 00:23:09,209 - That's insane. 722 00:23:09,258 --> 00:23:10,818 - That's a pretty crowded place, man. 723 00:23:10,866 --> 00:23:12,426 - Jesus that's crowded compared to here. 724 00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:13,385 - That would drive me fuckin' nuts! 725 00:23:13,432 --> 00:23:14,522 - Okay we gotta go I guess. 726 00:23:14,562 --> 00:23:16,562 - I am officially too baked to be here. 727 00:23:16,606 --> 00:23:18,306 - All right well we're done so [laptop snaps shut] 728 00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:19,136 - Dormeatchos, try them. - You don't have to be. 729 00:23:19,172 --> 00:23:21,522 They're fuckin' awesome. 730 00:23:21,563 --> 00:23:23,613 - Give them the recipe quick, Ricky, for Dormeatchos. 731 00:23:23,650 --> 00:23:27,390 - Just any kinda Doritos, the spicy ones are good. 732 00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:31,174 Pepperoni, this were hot and just some kinda cheese. 733 00:23:31,216 --> 00:23:32,176 Good cheese would probably better, 734 00:23:32,216 --> 00:23:33,476 but all I had was cheese slices. 735 00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:35,911 - Cut up a Solo cup, dump some hot sauce in 'er. 736 00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,526 - Yup, or other dunk sauces. - And you got yourself 737 00:23:37,565 --> 00:23:38,735 your Dormeatchos. 738 00:23:38,783 --> 00:23:40,653 - Throw on some uh, weed butter if you want. 739 00:23:40,696 --> 00:23:41,526 [cat meowing] 740 00:23:41,565 --> 00:23:43,135 - Me had butter. 741 00:23:43,175 --> 00:23:43,965 - There ya go. 742 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,910 - Me had Dormeatchos. 743 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,380 [seagulls squawking] 744 00:23:47,381 --> 00:23:49,161 ["Trailer Park Boys Theme" by Blain Morris] 745 00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:50,642 [sound of waves] 746 00:23:50,643 --> 00:23:54,513 [sound of boat engine ticking] 747 00:24:00,408 --> 00:24:01,578 [fish cursing in chorus] 748 00:24:01,627 --> 00:24:06,587 - Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jesus Christ! 749 00:24:07,894 --> 00:24:11,294 [sound of engine roaring] 750 00:24:12,855 --> 00:24:13,945 [sound of lock clicking] 751 00:24:13,987 --> 00:24:17,767 - [Narrator] [whispering] Fuck off. 752 00:24:17,817 --> 00:24:22,367 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