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- [Ricky] Warning: The
following program contains
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00:00:02,697 --> 00:00:06,007
really coarse language,
weed, alcohol consumption,
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00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:09,965
smoking and sexual
infer-fer-lances.
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00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:13,133
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:13,177 --> 00:00:14,697
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,742 --> 00:00:17,012
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
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00:00:17,047 --> 00:00:18,137
on your remote control.
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00:00:19,612 --> 00:00:24,572
["Trailer Park Boys
Theme" by Blain Morris]
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00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:32,796
- Gimme a little snap.
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[lid drops]
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00:00:34,049 --> 00:00:35,829
Little snap of pepperoni.
[package crinkles]
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00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:38,395
[Ricky sighs]
- What kind is it, is it hot?
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00:00:38,441 --> 00:00:41,011
- This is hot.
14
00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:41,919
- Yes.
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00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:44,921
[pepperoni snaps]
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00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:47,623
That's the best pepperoni
you'll ever eat right there.
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00:00:48,877 --> 00:00:50,917
Hot Brother's Pepperoni.
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00:00:50,964 --> 00:00:53,094
[chomps pepperoni]
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00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:53,928
- Yeah.
- Yup.
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00:00:55,399 --> 00:00:57,699
- I'd rather have the
pepperoni deep fried, ya know?
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00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:58,787
Dip it in honey mustard.
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00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:00,314
That's the way to do it, man.
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00:01:00,357 --> 00:01:02,137
[bag crinkles]
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00:01:02,183 --> 00:01:03,793
- It's alright like
that, but this is good,
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00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,484
just like this.
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00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,531
- Oh yeah he's making
pepperoni fingers.
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00:01:09,053 --> 00:01:09,883
- Careful, Ricky.
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00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:11,752
Your knife is dull as fuck.
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00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:12,802
- Yup.
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00:01:12,836 --> 00:01:14,276
- And that's how you
cut yourself.
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00:01:14,314 --> 00:01:14,794
[knife cutting]
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00:01:14,836 --> 00:01:15,796
[Ricky sighs]
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00:01:15,836 --> 00:01:17,226
- [Bubbles] People
don't know that,
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00:01:17,272 --> 00:01:19,792
a dull knife is way more
dangerous than a sharp knife.
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00:01:20,967 --> 00:01:22,577
'Cause it'll still
slice ya wide open.
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00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:23,880
- My fingers still fucked,
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00:01:23,924 --> 00:01:26,534
I wonder if I'm gonna
lose that fuckin' nail.
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[knife cutting]
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00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:30,018
- [Julian] You're definitely
losing that nail, man.
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00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:31,535
- What'd you do to your finger?
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00:01:31,577 --> 00:01:32,837
[knife cutting]
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00:01:32,882 --> 00:01:35,322
- I fuckin' broke her
on the cruise ship, man.
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Wasted.
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Slammed a door on my fuckin'
finger.
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Well I didn't, the waves did.
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00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:43,138
[Bubbles chuckles]
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- The waves did?
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00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:45,414
[bag crinkles]
- [Ricky] Yeah.
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Door in my room just kept going
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[Ricky imitates door slamming]
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Then one time, I was
walking through
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00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:53,403
and the cocksucker bit me.
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- It closed on ya.
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- Doors don't bite, Ricky.
- Doors don't bite, Ricky.
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[bag crinkles]
56
00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:02,719
- Okay, so what's
happening boys?
57
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,455
- I don't know, man.
- Still wakin' up here.
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00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:07,154
- Park After Dark, we're
makin' that right now.
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00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:08,191
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:08,234 --> 00:02:09,754
- We're makin' Dormeatchos.
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00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:12,143
Which is Doritos with some meat,
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00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,581
[faint heavy rain sounds]
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00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,756
and cheese, what the
fuck is going on outside?
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- Just started rainin'
horse cocks.
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00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,973
- Rainin', man.
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00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:18,928
- That sounds like a fuckin',
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00:02:18,974 --> 00:02:20,274
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:20,322 --> 00:02:22,542
what do you call those
things, a hurricocksucker.
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00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,623
- That is rainin' horse
cocks out there.
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00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:26,970
[cutting sounds]
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00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,800
Jesus Murphy, did you
guys hear the thunder
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00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:31,795
this mornin'?
- [Ricky] Thunder!
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00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:32,665
- [Julian] It was pretty loud,
man.
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00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:33,675
- [Ricky] Hear the thunder!
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[Bubble's chuckles]
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00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:38,062
- I don't even know what
song you're singin' Ricky.
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00:02:38,108 --> 00:02:39,758
[Ricky laughs]
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00:02:39,803 --> 00:02:41,023
Did you hear the
thunder this mornin'?
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00:02:41,064 --> 00:02:42,764
- It was pretty crazy, man.
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00:02:42,804 --> 00:02:45,494
- [Ricky] Lightning
and the thunder!
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- Fuckin' loud, felt like the
whole sky was gonna blow up.
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00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:49,583
- You know what, it was
weird 'cause the thunder kept
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00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:51,021
fuckin' just goin' on and on.
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00:02:51,065 --> 00:02:52,945
It sounded like a goddamn
- Yeah it was a long fuckin'-
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00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,329
- jet plane, it just
never ending.
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00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:55,240
I was like fuck, is
that thunder?
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00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:56,104
- I don't think that's thunder.
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00:02:56,153 --> 00:02:57,453
- Maybe not, it just won't stop.
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00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:58,501
[package crinkles]
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00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,635
Normally you hear a crack,
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00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,205
not those big fuckin'
one minute-ers.
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00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,720
[package crinkles]
- Big long one
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00:03:02,762 --> 00:03:04,762
and then there was some high
pitched stuff that sounded,
94
00:03:04,806 --> 00:03:05,806
didn't even sound like thunder.
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00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:06,499
It sounded like,
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00:03:06,546 --> 00:03:07,766
[foil crinkling]
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00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:10,157
like a giant bird squawkin'
or somethin'.
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00:03:10,198 --> 00:03:11,028
- Yup.
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00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:11,898
- Okay.
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00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:13,507
[foil crinkling]
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00:03:13,547 --> 00:03:14,587
- Alright these are lookin',
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00:03:14,634 --> 00:03:15,944
these are lookin' a
lot better man.
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00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:17,901
With these little diced
up pepperonis.
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00:03:17,938 --> 00:03:19,028
- Oh yeah.
- Oh these are,
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00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:21,769
these are to suck one for,
Dormeatchos.
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00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:23,890
- [Julian] Nice.
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00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,678
- [Ricky] I may have made a
little too much pepperoni, but.
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00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:26,682
- Yup.
- Do you think it's better
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00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:27,772
to cut these first,
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00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:30,029
or peel the plastic
off 'em first?
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00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:30,680
- Peel the plastic off first,
Ricky.
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00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:31,932
- Peel the plastic, man.
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00:03:31,983 --> 00:03:35,423
- Then you gotta do fuckin'
sixteen peels.
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00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:37,242
Where's right now you
can just do one.
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00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,809
[plastic crinkling]
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00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,673
- Lightning, and the thunder.
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00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:45,294
- Lightning and the thunder.
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00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,593
- Thunder, thunder.
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[plastic crinkling]
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00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,289
- What song are you singin'?
121
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,603
- The Soup Dragons, or
whatever they are.
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00:03:52,638 --> 00:03:55,468
[Bubbles chewing]
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00:03:55,508 --> 00:03:58,388
- Alright, boys, check this
poor little fucker out, man.
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00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:00,331
12 year old boy,
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00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:02,768
goes viral for doin' his
homework under a streetlight
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00:04:02,813 --> 00:04:05,763
because family can't
afford electricity.
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00:04:05,814 --> 00:04:07,334
How fuckin' depressin's that?
128
00:04:07,379 --> 00:04:08,679
- Jesus Murphy that's...
129
00:04:08,727 --> 00:04:09,517
- [Ricky] If it's true,
it's very depressing.
130
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,643
- Look at this poor fucker.
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00:04:12,075 --> 00:04:13,505
Now you'd never see Ricky
doin' somethin' like this.
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00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,034
- [Bubbles] Lemme see him.
133
00:04:15,076 --> 00:04:16,856
- [Ricky] I've done fuckin'
homework under a street light
134
00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,202
when the power was shut off.
135
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,640
- That, no you didn't, man.
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00:04:20,685 --> 00:04:23,345
Well, yeah when your
power was shut off.
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00:04:23,381 --> 00:04:24,561
- That fuckin' sucks, man.
138
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,378
- It's fucked.
- See we're
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00:04:25,424 --> 00:04:26,854
pretty lucky boys.
140
00:04:26,903 --> 00:04:29,163
- Ah, you son of a bastard.
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00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,038
Fuck you knife!
142
00:04:30,077 --> 00:04:32,737
- See this, this guy right here.
143
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,953
He wants to go to school so bad.
144
00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,301
- Yeah.
145
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:37,249
- He's doin' his homework
under the streetlights.
146
00:04:37,296 --> 00:04:38,466
- Just like me.
147
00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:39,903
- You should fuckin'
think about that, man.
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00:04:39,948 --> 00:04:41,688
- Ricky, you couldn't pay you
149
00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:44,471
to do fuckin' homework
under a streetlight.
150
00:04:44,514 --> 00:04:45,604
- Or do homework.
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00:04:45,645 --> 00:04:47,175
- Correction, if you
were to pay me,
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00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:48,650
I would gladly try to do it.
153
00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:50,816
- Well...
- See but this guy,
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00:04:50,862 --> 00:04:52,472
he would love just to fuckin'-
155
00:04:52,515 --> 00:04:54,955
- I think that guy's great,
I'm a big fan of him.
156
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,433
[chips crunching]
157
00:04:56,472 --> 00:04:57,472
- Well...
- He'd do anything
158
00:04:57,515 --> 00:04:58,945
to have a fuckin'
trailer like this,
159
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,294
with the power turned on.
- Yeah, fuckin' raised makin'
160
00:05:02,299 --> 00:05:03,479
these fuckin' things.
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00:05:04,951 --> 00:05:06,251
- [Ricky] It's kinda fucked up.
162
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,430
I shouldn't of stuck those
fuckin' things together.
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00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:12,614
Alright, so that was
a happy story I guess.
164
00:05:12,648 --> 00:05:13,828
- I'm tryin' to, yeah,
I've been tryin' to
165
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:14,995
get some feel good stories here,
166
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,250
but there's nothin', man.
167
00:05:16,301 --> 00:05:18,821
- How in the fuck is
that a feel good story?
168
00:05:18,866 --> 00:05:19,916
- Aw this ones even worse, man.
169
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,133
This fuckin', this chick...
170
00:05:22,171 --> 00:05:25,001
Aw man, this is fuckin' gross!
171
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:29,301
They find four living
bees in this woman's eye.
172
00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:31,695
Feeding off her tears.
173
00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:33,777
Like how the fuck, what is
wrong with you?
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00:05:33,824 --> 00:05:35,774
- [Ricky] What're you talkin'
about, man?
175
00:05:35,825 --> 00:05:37,085
- Try flippin' your lid down
176
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,569
and checkin' out what's
irritating ya.
177
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,957
Ya know what I mean?
- [Bubbles] Bees!
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00:05:40,999 --> 00:05:42,299
- Bees! Four of 'em.
179
00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:43,257
- Like honey bees?
180
00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:43,914
- Like fuckin' bees!
181
00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:45,045
- Bumblebees?
182
00:05:45,086 --> 00:05:47,176
- Look at these fuckin' things,
look.
183
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:48,048
For real are you kidding me?
184
00:05:48,087 --> 00:05:49,477
- That can't be real!
185
00:05:49,522 --> 00:05:49,822
- You are dumb!
186
00:05:51,261 --> 00:05:53,701
- If you don't know you got
bees livin' in your eye,
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00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:54,910
- Oh yeah she was twenty-
188
00:05:54,957 --> 00:05:56,347
- somethin's wrong with
your fuckin' brain!
189
00:05:56,393 --> 00:05:57,873
- She's twenty somethin'.
190
00:05:57,914 --> 00:06:00,784
Goin' to university with
bees in her fuckin' eyes.
191
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,138
- That, what website
are you findin' this on?
192
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:04,576
That sounds like the Onion.
193
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:09,089
- I'll tell ya, I can still
get a ten outta ten boys.
194
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:12,353
[Mr. Lahey singing gibberish]
[bowling ball rolls]
195
00:06:12,394 --> 00:06:14,094
[bowling pins falling]
196
00:06:14,134 --> 00:06:15,394
Mark me up, got a seven.
197
00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:16,478
Gotta take my pants off.
198
00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:18,535
- [Doug] No, no, no,
put them back on!
199
00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:21,359
[laughter]
200
00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:22,656
[bowling ball striking pins]
201
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:23,489
[bowling pins falling]
202
00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:25,266
- Oh! Not bad!
203
00:06:25,309 --> 00:06:26,519
[bowling ball striking pins]
204
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,920
[pins falling]
205
00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:29,091
[cheering]
- Whoa!
206
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:30,566
- [Lenny] Yeah! Yeah!
207
00:06:30,613 --> 00:06:32,043
- I can do this.
208
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:35,482
[Mr. Lahey singing a
gibberish tune]
209
00:06:35,527 --> 00:06:37,667
[bowling ball rolling]
210
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,051
[bowling ball striking pins]
211
00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:41,233
[bowling pins falling]
[Mr. Lahey singing gibberish]
212
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,697
- [Lenny] You don't wanna
get beaten by a drunk, guys,
213
00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:43,226
come on.
214
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:44,267
- Watch this.
215
00:06:44,311 --> 00:06:45,781
- [Lenny] C'mon, Doug,
pick it up!
216
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,573
- [Mr. Lahey] We're lettin'
the liquor do the bowlin'.
217
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,446
- [Doug] Man.
[Mr. Lahey laughs]
218
00:06:48,486 --> 00:06:49,926
- Now, what do ya want now?
219
00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:51,924
- You're gettin' a
little [gibberish].
220
00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:54,184
Well, what's the score
boys, what's the score?
221
00:06:54,226 --> 00:06:57,056
- The score you gotta
beat loser is 107.
222
00:06:57,095 --> 00:06:57,835
[bowling pins crashing]
223
00:06:57,878 --> 00:06:59,098
- A hundred and seven?
224
00:06:59,139 --> 00:07:00,829
- Right.
- And how much have I got?
225
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:02,048
- You're eighty-eight,
you're eighty-eight.
226
00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:03,306
- You gotta two marks goin' out,
buddy.
227
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:04,007
- I gotta get two marks?
228
00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:05,363
- Two marks goin' out.
229
00:07:05,401 --> 00:07:06,191
- Well guess what?
- And you never got two marks
230
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,007
in a row in your life.
231
00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:07,793
- What I'm gonna do boys!
232
00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:08,876
- Oh, now what's in there?
233
00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,273
- I'm gonna pick up my
secret weapon.
234
00:07:10,315 --> 00:07:11,835
- [Carl] Oh yeah, sure
- What do you got in there?
235
00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:12,749
- [Lenny] What the hell
236
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:13,842
is that?
- This is 140 proof,
237
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,010
this is the-
- 140! Who hoo!
238
00:07:15,054 --> 00:07:17,054
- That got you banned last time,
remember?
239
00:07:17,098 --> 00:07:20,018
[Mr. Lahey growling gibberish]
240
00:07:20,055 --> 00:07:23,275
- Today I have the [gibberish]
of the rightness-esh
241
00:07:23,316 --> 00:07:24,326
in my soul.
242
00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,189
[techno music]
243
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,930
Alright, pass it around boys.
244
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,670
Through the back door.
245
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:32,798
Turbo shit-bags comin' up!
246
00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:34,449
Watch this little shit.
247
00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,271
[Mr. Lahey makes
swooshing noise]
248
00:07:36,318 --> 00:07:37,968
[bowling pins crashing]
249
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,233
[cheering]
250
00:07:39,274 --> 00:07:41,274
- [Doug] Oh, Lahey, Lahey!
251
00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:43,238
- Holy Jesus Christ!
- Lahey!
252
00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,405
- Lahey!
253
00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:46,839
- If he makes one more mark,
he beats us!
254
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,714
- No way!
- Strike?
255
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:49,284
- A strike and you win!
256
00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,099
- No problem!
257
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:52,626
[mumbles incoherently]
258
00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:53,447
Okay, hold that for me.
259
00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:54,234
[bottle clinking]
260
00:07:54,276 --> 00:07:57,276
[techno music continues]
261
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,190
Here we go.
262
00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:02,891
[techno music intensifies]
263
00:08:02,929 --> 00:08:05,019
[bowling ball growling]
264
00:08:05,061 --> 00:08:07,321
- [Carl] How can a drunk like
that, throw a ball like that?
265
00:08:07,365 --> 00:08:08,975
[bowling pins crashing]
266
00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:09,927
- [Lenny] Oh my gosh!
267
00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:11,323
- Ta-da!
268
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,665
[cheering]
269
00:08:12,713 --> 00:08:13,763
- Oh my gosh!
270
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:14,800
[Mr. Lahey yelling excitedly]
271
00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:16,534
- You did it, dammit!
272
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,490
- It's like the liquor
made him better!
273
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,060
- What the hell was that?
274
00:08:21,105 --> 00:08:23,195
- I got, I got a
little drinky poo!
275
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,977
Oh not only do I get
a drinky poo,
276
00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:26,239
I get this fuckin' thing!
277
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,455
I waited twenty years
for this boys.
278
00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:31,628
Twenty years.
279
00:08:31,672 --> 00:08:33,062
I came,
280
00:08:33,107 --> 00:08:34,587
I saw,
281
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,329
I conquered.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!
282
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:37,368
- Veni, vidi, vici.
283
00:08:37,412 --> 00:08:38,322
[upbeat music]
284
00:08:38,368 --> 00:08:39,458
[kisses trophy]
285
00:08:39,499 --> 00:08:40,769
Ecce homo.
286
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,673
[bowling pins crash]
287
00:08:42,716 --> 00:08:45,946
Let's see what we got for
the lucky ducky.
288
00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:47,848
Lucky, lucky.
289
00:08:47,891 --> 00:08:49,901
You know what the
lucky ducky says.
290
00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:50,805
[imitates explosion noise]
291
00:08:50,848 --> 00:08:52,068
Nice one.
292
00:08:52,109 --> 00:08:54,799
[singing gibberish]
293
00:08:54,849 --> 00:08:57,589
I'm a winner every
time I [mumbles].
294
00:08:57,631 --> 00:09:00,721
Say goodby to all your little
shitty fuckin' ducky friends.
295
00:09:02,763 --> 00:09:04,063
[squeaking noise]
296
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,331
Oh listen.
297
00:09:05,372 --> 00:09:08,112
[squeaking noise]
298
00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:10,505
That's right, never
cry shit-duck.
299
00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:13,546
[glass breaking]
300
00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:16,760
That's my favorite
magical bowling ball.
301
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:19,848
I don't, what am I,
little ducky.
302
00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:23,065
[Mr. Lahey speaking
gibberish in a duck voice]
303
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,933
[bright music]
We'll see you next time
304
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,202
for another exciting episode
305
00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:30,644
of Jim Lahey and the
Liquor Stories.
306
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,199
[Mr. Lahey speaking
gibberish in a duck voice]
307
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:34,805
Fuck off.
308
00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:37,464
[bowling balls crashing]
309
00:09:37,506 --> 00:09:40,246
[slurping sounds]
310
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,065
Can't waste good liquor.
311
00:09:46,203 --> 00:09:47,463
- [Bubbles] I came
down to the jail
312
00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,338
as fast as I could once
Ricky called me, I mean,
313
00:09:50,377 --> 00:09:52,037
I can't imagine what he's goin'
through.
314
00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:53,734
This is a day that I
315
00:09:53,769 --> 00:09:55,599
always thought, ya know,
could come someday,
316
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,118
but I just hoped it wouldn't.
317
00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:00,121
But it looks like it's here,
so all I can do is just go in
318
00:10:00,161 --> 00:10:03,161
and be as supportive as I can
and I just gotta be braced
319
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,475
for when he tells me...
320
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:05,550
- [Loudspeaker] Bubbles
proceed to visitation.
321
00:10:05,597 --> 00:10:07,767
- Okay I'm goin' in, goin' in.
322
00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:10,164
[Bubbles sighs nervously]
323
00:10:10,206 --> 00:10:12,686
[Bubbles sighs heavily]
324
00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:17,037
[sound of door
opening and closing]
325
00:10:20,294 --> 00:10:21,384
- Hey Ricky.
326
00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:22,685
- Hey Bubs, thanks for coming,
man.
327
00:10:22,729 --> 00:10:23,819
- Hey Julian.
- Hey Bubs.
328
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:26,250
- Thanks for being here, Julian.
329
00:10:26,295 --> 00:10:28,955
Boys, I got some
330
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:32,390
really, really bad news today
at the fuckin' infirmary.
331
00:10:32,426 --> 00:10:34,776
- I know Ricky, I know, just,
332
00:10:34,817 --> 00:10:35,907
I been tryin' to get
ready for it
333
00:10:35,948 --> 00:10:37,248
so I think the best thing to do
334
00:10:37,296 --> 00:10:39,916
is just fuckin' hit me with it.
335
00:10:40,818 --> 00:10:41,908
[Ricky sighs heavily]
336
00:10:41,949 --> 00:10:45,519
- I'm fuckin', I'm shrinkin'
to death.
337
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:46,348
- [Bubbles] Ricky!
338
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,514
- You're shrinking to death?
339
00:10:47,558 --> 00:10:48,768
What the fuck does that
even mean, man?
340
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:49,859
- What are ya talking about?
341
00:10:49,906 --> 00:10:51,296
- It should happen in
less than a year.
342
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:52,522
- Jesus Ricky!
343
00:10:52,558 --> 00:10:54,948
- I thought you were fuckin'
gonna tell me
344
00:10:54,993 --> 00:10:57,993
you fuckin' had cancer or
somethin' Ricky.
345
00:10:58,038 --> 00:10:59,698
- No man, it's just
as bad though.
346
00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:01,173
I'm gonna fuckin'
shrink to death.
347
00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:03,212
- [Bubbles] What do ya mean
you're shrinkin' to death?
348
00:11:03,256 --> 00:11:05,126
- I did the math and
349
00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:06,829
within five years I'll
probably be the size
350
00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,475
of a fuckin' squirrel.
351
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:09,347
Maybe a rabbit.
352
00:11:11,735 --> 00:11:13,305
- This is the news?
353
00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:15,224
- Yeah and if it keeps going,
I mean,
354
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,568
eventually I'm might be
fuckin' as small as an ant.
355
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:18,695
- Ricky!
356
00:11:18,735 --> 00:11:19,695
- Maybe a bigger bug
like a dragonfly,
357
00:11:19,736 --> 00:11:21,046
but if I'm that small,
358
00:11:21,084 --> 00:11:23,044
I wouldn't even be able to
smoke dope anymore, like,
359
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,615
what's the fuckin' point?
- First of all,
360
00:11:24,649 --> 00:11:25,999
you would be able to smoke dope,
361
00:11:26,041 --> 00:11:27,741
but I don't think
you're gonna shrink
362
00:11:27,781 --> 00:11:29,261
to the size of a fuckin' ant.
363
00:11:29,302 --> 00:11:31,862
- Just promise me if I ever
become the size of an ant,
364
00:11:31,911 --> 00:11:34,001
and I'm still alive, you'll
build me like a nice little ant
365
00:11:34,042 --> 00:11:36,612
things outta match sticks or
somethin' and you'll feed me
366
00:11:36,651 --> 00:11:38,181
and if you could just smoke
a joint once in a while
367
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:40,736
and blow into my
little ant face.
368
00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:42,692
- Ricky.
- Ricky.
369
00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:43,658
- This is fucked.
370
00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:45,136
- Julian did you
know about this?
371
00:11:45,174 --> 00:11:47,304
- I, Bubs do you think
I'd be here if,
372
00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:50,308
if he fuckin' told me he
was shrinkin' to death?
373
00:11:50,349 --> 00:11:52,049
Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?
374
00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:55,658
- What, okay Ricky, just back
the fuck up here, lets...
375
00:11:55,697 --> 00:11:58,137
Why do you think you're
shrinkin' in the first place?
376
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,736
- I'm an inch and a
half shorter than I was
377
00:11:59,784 --> 00:12:01,954
the last time I went there
and they measured me.
378
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:05,141
- So that's all it is, is
just that you got measured.
379
00:12:05,177 --> 00:12:08,137
- And I, from what I've read
there's no way to stop it.
380
00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:10,827
- But Ricky, maybe they
just wrote it down wrong.
381
00:12:10,873 --> 00:12:13,833
The first time, or they fucked
up with the measuring tape.
382
00:12:13,873 --> 00:12:15,823
Like, you have no proof that
you're shrinkin', do ya?
383
00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:17,743
- They don't give a fuck
about how tall you are, man!
384
00:12:17,787 --> 00:12:20,097
- Man if I do, what, okay,
riddle me this.
385
00:12:20,135 --> 00:12:21,965
If I did become the size
of a little ant,
386
00:12:22,004 --> 00:12:25,144
would my brain still have
the same smart?
387
00:12:26,918 --> 00:12:28,748
- Well...
[Bubbles sighs heavily]
388
00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:30,798
Ricky, you don't gotta
worry about it.
389
00:12:30,831 --> 00:12:34,831
Yes you would probably
retain your same smart.
390
00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:36,046
- You'd probably be smarter.
391
00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:38,914
- So what then, so, I mean...
392
00:12:38,963 --> 00:12:40,223
- So you're biggest worry
393
00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:41,838
is that you're gonna be
the size of an ant
394
00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,316
and you won't be able to
smoke a joint.
395
00:12:43,355 --> 00:12:44,795
- But if I was an ant
and I smoked it,
396
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,103
I, I wouldn't need as
much probably,
397
00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:47,658
but my brain would be like,
398
00:12:47,703 --> 00:12:49,223
this is fucked
'cause you're not,
399
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,409
you can smoke a lot more than
this even though you can't,
400
00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:53,573
and then what happens
with my brain?
401
00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:55,267
- Ricky, if you became an ant
402
00:12:55,313 --> 00:12:57,663
and you retained all
your fuckin' knowledge,
403
00:12:57,705 --> 00:12:59,265
you would be able to get high,
404
00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:01,273
'cause I would blow smoke at ya.
405
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,923
Or I'd make ya a little joint
the size of a piece of rice
406
00:13:03,966 --> 00:13:04,966
and light it for ya and
407
00:13:05,009 --> 00:13:05,919
you could just suck on it.
- Bubs.
408
00:13:05,966 --> 00:13:07,616
- Bubs!
- Thanks Bubs.
409
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,662
I love you buddy.
410
00:13:09,662 --> 00:13:10,622
You make me very-
- This is really
411
00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:12,312
why you got me down here,
all the
412
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,929
fuckin' drivin' down
here panickin',
413
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,317
almost fuckin' shit
myself in the taxi.
414
00:13:17,359 --> 00:13:19,269
Hyperventilatin', fuckin'
thought you were dyin'
415
00:13:19,316 --> 00:13:20,796
and now ya tell me
you're worried
416
00:13:20,837 --> 00:13:23,577
you're gonna turn into a fuckin'
squirrel and then an ant!
417
00:13:24,751 --> 00:13:26,491
- How would you feel?
418
00:13:26,534 --> 00:13:27,884
- Ricky you coulda just
told me on the phone
419
00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:29,495
and I coulda
straightened it out for ya
420
00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:31,585
and not came all this way.
421
00:13:31,622 --> 00:13:32,712
- I thought you might
have some advice,
422
00:13:32,752 --> 00:13:33,842
like I was thinkin'
maybe you could
423
00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:35,753
bring me down some like
weed fertilizers
424
00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:38,716
and see if I could get
growed up a bit more again.
425
00:13:38,753 --> 00:13:39,933
- You're not eatin', drinkin'
...
426
00:13:39,970 --> 00:13:42,150
- People don't shrink
to death Ricky!
427
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,018
- I am!
428
00:13:43,058 --> 00:13:45,448
- Dude, nobody is!
429
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:49,973
- Ricky say maybe somehow
ya shrank a tiny bit,
430
00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,625
just maybe from fuckin'
dehydration or somethin',
431
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,667
I don't know, maybe you shrank.
432
00:13:54,712 --> 00:13:55,412
[knocking]
433
00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:56,501
- [Guard] Wrap it up!
434
00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,978
- Even if ya did, you're
not gonna shrink
435
00:13:59,016 --> 00:14:00,626
to the size of a fuckin'
squirrel.
436
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,318
Nobody's ever done that
in the history of man.
437
00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:04,025
- You can't go from bein'
a human
438
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,930
to a fuckin' squirrel Ricky,
and then
439
00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:07,364
from a squirrel to a fuckin'
ant.
440
00:14:07,408 --> 00:14:09,368
It's impossible.
- No, I, its just that size.
441
00:14:09,409 --> 00:14:11,019
I'd still look like this,
but just
442
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:13,321
like this big.
- Oh, Ricky, man.
443
00:14:13,366 --> 00:14:15,806
- Little, tiny ant Ricky.
444
00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:16,894
Oh my Jesus.
- Thanks for comin' Bubs
445
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,501
and thanks for if it
does happen,
446
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:19,811
you're gonna look
after me buddy.
447
00:14:19,844 --> 00:14:21,364
Now I can sleep tonight.
- If , I promise ya if ya
448
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,580
turn into a fuckin' ant I will
have you the nicest ant home
449
00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:25,838
you've ever seen.
450
00:14:25,889 --> 00:14:27,109
- Bubs.
- Thanks buddy.
451
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,200
[pounds fist on glass]
452
00:14:28,237 --> 00:14:29,887
- You'll have an ant mansion,
Ricky.
453
00:14:30,759 --> 00:14:32,589
[whispers] Jesus Murphy.
454
00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:34,379
- Alright, we'll see ya
soon man thanks.
455
00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:35,802
- [Bubbles] Okay.
It does make me feel better.
456
00:14:35,846 --> 00:14:36,676
- See ya Bubs.
457
00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:38,537
- Okay, see yas.
458
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,366
[knocking sounds]
459
00:14:43,326 --> 00:14:45,846
- I can't believe I'm
fuckin' shrinkin' to death.
460
00:14:45,892 --> 00:14:47,112
- [Julian] You're not
fuckin' shrinkin' to death.
461
00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,412
- [Ricky] I'm fucked!
462
00:14:49,457 --> 00:14:51,977
[door closes]
463
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,118
- This is what I deal with.
464
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,326
[Ricky sighs]
465
00:14:57,371 --> 00:14:59,201
- Alright, welcome back to
Gettin' Learnt with Ricky.
466
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:01,071
Brand new year for most
of you people.
467
00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,631
I don't start my new year
til the fuckin'
468
00:15:02,676 --> 00:15:04,236
snow is gone at least because
469
00:15:04,285 --> 00:15:06,195
nothin's changed, it's
not a fuckin' new year,
470
00:15:06,242 --> 00:15:07,672
still fuckin' winter.
471
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,980
Anyway, hopefully it won't
be a long winter this year,
472
00:15:10,024 --> 00:15:12,204
and having my new
year in March or
473
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:13,292
maybe 4/20.
474
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,289
It's a good time to
start a new year.
475
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,810
But anyway, this time
of year is fuckin' cold
476
00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:17,981
for most of us in Canada.
477
00:15:18,025 --> 00:15:19,505
All you people livin' down in
478
00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:22,298
the sunny fuckin' United
States or US and A
479
00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:23,461
or whatever the fuck
you're called.
480
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,205
Good for you guys, it's
cold up here.
481
00:15:25,244 --> 00:15:26,934
It's a fuckin' shitty
time of year.
482
00:15:26,983 --> 00:15:29,243
So this time of year,
we got no money,
483
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,468
we need to get extra high.
484
00:15:30,505 --> 00:15:31,335
And how do you do that?
485
00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:32,636
Fuckin' bongs.
486
00:15:32,679 --> 00:15:35,459
So today's episode, we're
gonna talk about
487
00:15:35,506 --> 00:15:37,066
bongs
[marker squeaks]
488
00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:38,596
and how to make the
fuckin' things, because
489
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,077
why would you buy one right now?
490
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:41,986
You don't have a lot of money,
but you need to get high.
491
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,248
You can make a fuckin' bong
outta pretty much anything.
492
00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:46,590
Now bongs are pretty much,
it is science,
493
00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,728
and there's a pretty much a
simple fuckin' science to it.
494
00:15:48,768 --> 00:15:50,288
[container rattles]
495
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:52,164
Normally I'll make them
out of like a fuckin'
496
00:15:52,204 --> 00:15:54,114
masonry jar or ya know
somethin' like that,
497
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,991
or maybe a can or some
kind of a fuckin'
498
00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:59,210
like a bottle thingy
like this that has a top.
499
00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:01,161
[marker tapping]
500
00:16:01,205 --> 00:16:01,815
Top
501
00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:03,117
[marking squeaking]
502
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,332
And what you want to do
here is, you're gonna
503
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,160
put a hole in the fuckin'
side of it.
504
00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,293
This is gonna be your
little thing
505
00:16:08,336 --> 00:16:09,896
that comes down into the water.
506
00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:12,251
That's you're little,
507
00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:14,644
that's where you wanna put
your dope and shit right here.
508
00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:16,775
Then you need another little
fuckin' opening or a straw.
509
00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:19,556
I like to use a straw that
doesn't go into the water.
510
00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:21,338
That's where, that's
your sucker point.
511
00:16:21,382 --> 00:16:22,692
[marker tapping]
512
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:23,650
Suck.
513
00:16:24,599 --> 00:16:25,729
So then what you wanna do,
514
00:16:25,773 --> 00:16:26,993
put a bit of water in it,
515
00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:30,736
this part has to be
under the water,
516
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,213
this is where your fuckin'
shit's gonna come in,
517
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,302
and all your smokes gonna
come in through here.
518
00:16:34,339 --> 00:16:35,389
And then when you're
sucking on it,
519
00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:37,036
it's gonna come up through here
520
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,299
and right into you're
fuckin' lungs, delicious.
521
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,640
Could be weed, could be hash.
522
00:16:40,688 --> 00:16:42,908
Sometimes a little combos nice.
523
00:16:42,949 --> 00:16:44,169
So we're gonna show you
how to make one of these
524
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,521
fuckin' things out of
pretty much anything.
525
00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:47,169
Now I will say this.
526
00:16:47,211 --> 00:16:48,741
[container rattling]
527
00:16:48,776 --> 00:16:50,776
Bongs are awesome because they
do filter out a bunch of the
528
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,300
shitty shit and make the
smoke healthy for ya.
529
00:16:52,342 --> 00:16:53,562
[container rattling]
530
00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:55,602
But they also filter out
some of the fuckin' THC,
531
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,257
so if you wanna get extra high,
532
00:16:57,299 --> 00:16:59,129
sometimes it's better
to just smoke a joint.
533
00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:00,739
But anyway, that's a
different show.
534
00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:02,777
Let's fuckin' make some bongs!
535
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,561
Alright, as you can see,
you can pretty much make
536
00:17:04,604 --> 00:17:06,214
pipes and bongs outta fuckin'
anything.
537
00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:07,736
So, we're gonna start with
pipes 'cause some of you
538
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,388
are probably too fuckin'
lazy or too dumb
539
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:11,871
to make a water bong even
though it's easy as fuck.
540
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:14,123
Or maybe you're just in
a fuckin' rush
541
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,080
to get some smoke in your lungs,
so.
542
00:17:16,128 --> 00:17:17,738
Pipes you can make outta
fuckin' anything here.
543
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:19,169
Here's a simple pipe.
544
00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:21,125
Can, rip off that little
thing that cuts ya,
545
00:17:21,171 --> 00:17:23,351
poke some little holes in here.
546
00:17:23,389 --> 00:17:25,179
Fill that up with some fuckin',
547
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,526
some weed or whatever and...
548
00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:28,354
[lighter flicking]
549
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:29,300
[inhales deeply]
550
00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:31,216
[Ricky exhales]
551
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,829
Very simple, very fuckin' quick.
552
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,128
But if you wanna get creative,
553
00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:36,393
you can also make fuckin'
bongs outta fruit.
554
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:38,784
Nice little pineapple
bong with a carrot.
555
00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:41,356
Just hollow out that and
put some tin foil in there,
556
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:42,001
ya know and..
557
00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:43,053
[Ricky inhales]
558
00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:44,397
[Ricky exhales]
Adds a nice little
559
00:17:44,435 --> 00:17:46,605
flavor to your fuckin'
weed if it's pretty harsh.
560
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,433
Shitty fuckin' mall dope.
561
00:17:48,479 --> 00:17:50,429
There's a watermelon one
with an apple at the top
562
00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:52,739
and a carrot, so that's gonna
have three fuckin' flavors,
563
00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:54,483
like a nice little mixture.
564
00:17:54,523 --> 00:17:55,913
Or maybe you don't have
any fuckin' fruit,
565
00:17:55,958 --> 00:17:57,748
but you got a big bologna log,
566
00:17:57,784 --> 00:18:00,004
got some fuckin' pepperoni so.
567
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,615
Hollow out the bologna
log in the middle there,
568
00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,355
put a nice little place
where you can put this little
569
00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:05,954
sucker device.
570
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,563
Take a nice piece of
pepperoni, it's about a
571
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,046
five and a half inch cock
of pepperoni there I guess.
572
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,350
Then you just wanna drill
out the middle of that.
573
00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:16,145
[drill whirring]
574
00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:22,009
[drill whirring]
575
00:18:22,048 --> 00:18:23,798
There ya go, so you can
fuckin' see right through that.
576
00:18:23,831 --> 00:18:24,401
It's perfect.
577
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,740
[Ricky inhales]
578
00:18:25,787 --> 00:18:27,177
You wanna put that fuckin'
thing right in there.
579
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,443
Actually that kinda looks like
580
00:18:29,788 --> 00:18:31,788
somebody, some dude
with a cock or a cigar,
581
00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:33,182
so you can draw a little
face on it if you want.
582
00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:34,094
Might be fun.
583
00:18:35,789 --> 00:18:38,049
Just a little guy smoking there.
584
00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:39,274
So then what you want to
do is you wanna to take
585
00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:40,752
some tin foil,
586
00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:44,139
[foil crinkling]
587
00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:45,401
Put that right in the top here,
588
00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:48,402
[foil tapping]
589
00:18:48,443 --> 00:18:49,843
and take a little
fuckin nail or some,
590
00:18:51,313 --> 00:18:52,393
poke some little fuckin'
holes in there with somethin'.
591
00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:53,663
[tapping foil]
592
00:18:53,704 --> 00:18:55,004
You could use your cock
if it's really tiny.
593
00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:57,272
[Ricky chuckling]
594
00:18:57,314 --> 00:18:59,144
And there you go, nice
little fuckin' pipe.
595
00:18:59,183 --> 00:19:00,013
Put your shit in there,
596
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:00,842
[Ricky inhaling]
597
00:19:00,879 --> 00:19:01,529
[Ricky exhaling]
598
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:02,925
Beautiful!
599
00:19:02,966 --> 00:19:04,186
Tastes a little like meat,
which is kinda fucked
600
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,488
unless you really like
meat like I do.
601
00:19:06,532 --> 00:19:08,662
I like honey garlic pepperoni,
puts a nice flavor on it.
602
00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:10,316
And the best part is once
you're done all of this,
603
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,058
all the dope kinda gets absorbed
into the fruit or the meat,
604
00:19:13,098 --> 00:19:15,488
you fuckin' eat it and you
get extra high.
605
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:16,403
[tin foil crinkling]
606
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,316
- Um, if Chris Hadfield married
607
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,789
a lady with the last
name Flowers,
608
00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:25,446
and they just kept their
names and hyphenated them.
609
00:19:25,491 --> 00:19:25,931
- Yeah?
610
00:19:27,187 --> 00:19:30,407
- His last name, er her
last name would be
611
00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:31,238
Julia
612
00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:33,488
Hadfield-Flowers.
613
00:19:33,535 --> 00:19:35,545
[Ricky chuckling]
614
00:19:35,579 --> 00:19:36,409
- What?
615
00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:38,319
[chips crunching]
616
00:19:38,362 --> 00:19:39,272
- What the fuck are you...
617
00:19:39,319 --> 00:19:41,279
- Julia...
- I'm just sayin',
618
00:19:41,319 --> 00:19:42,929
you have to be careful
who you marry 'cause if
619
00:19:42,971 --> 00:19:45,971
they're gonna keep the last
names and hyphenate them.
620
00:19:46,015 --> 00:19:48,095
- Ricky, there's no
weed in these is there?
621
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,718
- Nah, no, not these ones.
622
00:19:53,755 --> 00:19:54,755
Took me a second.
623
00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:56,148
- What do ya mean
not these ones?
624
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,320
Did you put oil on
the other ones?
625
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,444
[Ricky chewing]
626
00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:01,795
'Cause I feel like I'm startin'
to
627
00:20:01,843 --> 00:20:03,673
get baked.
- You know what?
628
00:20:03,712 --> 00:20:05,062
There could be a bit
of weed butter.
629
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,154
I remember melting weed
butter last night.
630
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,413
- I can feel myself
getting baked.
631
00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:11,763
- That's great!
632
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,800
Just let it run with ya.
633
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,014
- Better go with it, man.
634
00:20:14,061 --> 00:20:15,411
[Bubbles sigh heavily]
[chips crunching]
635
00:20:15,453 --> 00:20:16,843
- Ricky.
636
00:20:16,888 --> 00:20:19,758
- Or if you married someone
with the last name Horse.
637
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,541
Julia Hadfield-Horse.
638
00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:24,675
[Bubbles chuckling menacingly]
639
00:20:24,715 --> 00:20:26,365
- See that shouldn't
be funny to me!
640
00:20:26,412 --> 00:20:27,582
- Yeah.
641
00:20:27,628 --> 00:20:29,498
I'm not laughin' at all.
- Why am I laughin'?
642
00:20:29,542 --> 00:20:30,322
- [Ricky] Julia
643
00:20:30,368 --> 00:20:31,588
- [Bubbles] Hadfield-Horse
644
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,849
[Julian chuckling]
645
00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:34,550
Julia Hadfield-Horse.
646
00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:37,026
[Bubbles chuckling]
647
00:20:37,064 --> 00:20:39,374
Oh I guess I might as well
just keep eatin' 'em now.
648
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,407
- Just go with it, man,
who gives a fuck.
649
00:20:41,456 --> 00:20:43,146
- What if her last name was Cox?
650
00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:47,718
I guess that's not that great.
651
00:20:47,762 --> 00:20:48,892
Julia Hadfield-Cox.
652
00:20:48,936 --> 00:20:50,416
- Julia Hadfield-Cox
653
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,507
[Ricky chuckling]
654
00:20:51,544 --> 00:20:53,374
[chips crunching]
655
00:20:53,415 --> 00:20:56,855
Like what, what the fuck is
wrong with your brain, man?
656
00:20:58,155 --> 00:20:58,935
Fuck.
657
00:20:58,980 --> 00:20:59,990
- What if he married...
658
00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:02,464
What if her last
name was finger?
659
00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:03,943
Julia Hadfield-Finger.
660
00:21:03,981 --> 00:21:07,201
[Ricky and Bubbles chuckling]
661
00:21:07,243 --> 00:21:08,203
[Bubbles cackles]
662
00:21:08,243 --> 00:21:10,543
- What does that fuckin' mean?
663
00:21:10,591 --> 00:21:11,411
- I get it!
664
00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:14,110
What if he married Julia
665
00:21:15,852 --> 00:21:18,422
I-remember-when-I?
666
00:21:18,461 --> 00:21:19,901
Julia I-remember-when-I.
667
00:21:21,809 --> 00:21:23,339
[Ricky and Julian chuckling]
- What?
668
00:21:23,374 --> 00:21:26,504
- Julia
I-remember-when-I-Hadfield.
669
00:21:26,549 --> 00:21:27,939
[Bubbles laughs]
670
00:21:27,983 --> 00:21:31,033
And then it got turned
into a parkin' lot.
671
00:21:31,071 --> 00:21:31,991
[Ricky, Bubbles and
Julian chuckling]
672
00:21:32,028 --> 00:21:32,988
- Bubs, Man!
673
00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:34,118
Keep eatin' those fuckin'
things.
674
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:35,379
- Don't eat any more of these.
- Scared?
675
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,940
- No, no, keep, keep going.
- Whoo, hoo, hoo!
676
00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:38,165
- I like this guy.
- I'm tryin to fuckin' make,
677
00:21:38,202 --> 00:21:39,642
don't make my brain explode.
678
00:21:39,681 --> 00:21:41,291
- Ooh baby.
679
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,944
- Americans invaded
Canada twice.
680
00:21:43,985 --> 00:21:45,595
- Yup.
- 1775 and 1812
681
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,078
and they lost both times.
682
00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:48,167
- That's right.
683
00:21:48,204 --> 00:21:49,724
- However, I think if
they did it now,
684
00:21:49,769 --> 00:21:50,899
we would be fucked!
685
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,343
- Oh, we'd be totally fucked,
man.
686
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,508
- The war would last about
twenty minutes.
687
00:21:55,552 --> 00:21:57,552
- It might be a little
hard to defend
688
00:21:57,596 --> 00:21:59,166
at this point.
- Wrap it up, fuck!
689
00:22:00,771 --> 00:22:03,901
Third largest oil reserves after
Saudi Arabia and Venezuela.
690
00:22:05,293 --> 00:22:07,203
- Alright, that's a lot of oil.
691
00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:08,600
- We were the third
country into space
692
00:22:08,641 --> 00:22:10,861
after the US and the USSR.
693
00:22:10,902 --> 00:22:12,292
I didn't even know we
went to space.
694
00:22:12,337 --> 00:22:13,337
- What?
- I thought we just did
695
00:22:13,381 --> 00:22:14,211
with other people.
696
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,464
- Canada Space Agency, CSA.
697
00:22:18,512 --> 00:22:19,722
- This said we're
698
00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:22,383
one of the best ones in
the world in 1962.
699
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:23,386
- Oh in '62?
700
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:29,779
- Our money, Mexico's money,
India's, Russia and Israel have
701
00:22:29,817 --> 00:22:32,907
bray-ille like markings
for the blind.
702
00:22:32,948 --> 00:22:33,858
- Braille.
703
00:22:33,905 --> 00:22:35,565
- Braille, little bumpy things.
704
00:22:35,601 --> 00:22:36,381
- The little bumpy things.
705
00:22:36,427 --> 00:22:38,207
- Tomato, tomahto?
706
00:22:38,254 --> 00:22:40,384
- No it's not tomato,
tomahto thing, man.
707
00:22:40,428 --> 00:22:41,608
- It's not a tomato anything.
- That's pretty awesome.
708
00:22:41,645 --> 00:22:43,825
Why doesn't every fuckin'
country have that?
709
00:22:44,732 --> 00:22:45,822
- Well, most do now.
710
00:22:45,863 --> 00:22:47,303
- This is fucked.
711
00:22:47,342 --> 00:22:51,822
Canada has fewer people than
Tokyo's metropolitan area.
712
00:22:51,864 --> 00:22:53,604
And we're the second biggest
country in the world.
713
00:22:53,646 --> 00:22:54,776
That's weird, man.
714
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:56,040
- Yeah, man.
- That's a busy city.
715
00:22:56,081 --> 00:22:57,521
- Say that again.
716
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,260
- We have less people
than Tokyo's,
717
00:23:00,299 --> 00:23:02,869
Tokyo City's metropolitan area.
718
00:23:02,908 --> 00:23:04,698
Just downtown Tokyo has
more people than Canada,
719
00:23:04,734 --> 00:23:05,734
that's fucked!
- Downtown Tokyo
720
00:23:05,779 --> 00:23:07,869
has more than 30 million people?
721
00:23:07,909 --> 00:23:09,209
- That's insane.
722
00:23:09,258 --> 00:23:10,818
- That's a pretty crowded place,
man.
723
00:23:10,866 --> 00:23:12,426
- Jesus that's crowded
compared to here.
724
00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:13,385
- That would drive me fuckin'
nuts!
725
00:23:13,432 --> 00:23:14,522
- Okay we gotta go I guess.
726
00:23:14,562 --> 00:23:16,562
- I am officially too
baked to be here.
727
00:23:16,606 --> 00:23:18,306
- All right well we're done so
[laptop snaps shut]
728
00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:19,136
- Dormeatchos, try them.
- You don't have to be.
729
00:23:19,172 --> 00:23:21,522
They're fuckin' awesome.
730
00:23:21,563 --> 00:23:23,613
- Give them the recipe quick,
Ricky, for Dormeatchos.
731
00:23:23,650 --> 00:23:27,390
- Just any kinda Doritos,
the spicy ones are good.
732
00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:31,174
Pepperoni, this were hot
and just some kinda cheese.
733
00:23:31,216 --> 00:23:32,176
Good cheese would
probably better,
734
00:23:32,216 --> 00:23:33,476
but all I had was cheese slices.
735
00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:35,911
- Cut up a Solo cup, dump
some hot sauce in 'er.
736
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:37,526
- Yup, or other dunk sauces.
- And you got yourself
737
00:23:37,565 --> 00:23:38,735
your Dormeatchos.
738
00:23:38,783 --> 00:23:40,653
- Throw on some uh,
weed butter if you want.
739
00:23:40,696 --> 00:23:41,526
[cat meowing]
740
00:23:41,565 --> 00:23:43,135
- Me had butter.
741
00:23:43,175 --> 00:23:43,965
- There ya go.
742
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,910
- Me had Dormeatchos.
743
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,380
[seagulls squawking]
744
00:23:47,381 --> 00:23:49,161
["Trailer Park Boys
Theme" by Blain Morris]
745
00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:50,642
[sound of waves]
746
00:23:50,643 --> 00:23:54,513
[sound of boat engine ticking]
747
00:24:00,408 --> 00:24:01,578
[fish cursing in chorus]
748
00:24:01,627 --> 00:24:06,587
- Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
Jesus Christ!
749
00:24:07,894 --> 00:24:11,294
[sound of engine roaring]
750
00:24:12,855 --> 00:24:13,945
[sound of lock clicking]
751
00:24:13,987 --> 00:24:17,767
- [Narrator]
[whispering] Fuck off.
752
00:24:17,817 --> 00:24:22,367
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Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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