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00:00:00,522 --> 00:00:02,222
- Warning.
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00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,483
The following program contains
really coarse language, weed,
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00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:08,436
alcohol consumption, smoking,
and sexual [mumbling].
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00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,796
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,668
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,230
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
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00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,148
on your remote control.
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00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,460
[slow piano music plays]
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00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,808
[music fades]
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00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,856
- [Bubbles] Canuck the
crow flies off with knife
11
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,642
from crime scene in Vancouver.
12
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:35,766
- Yeah.
13
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,518
I think we talked about him.
Didn't we?
14
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,129
- [Bubbles] Did we?
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00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,338
- I don't know.
16
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,477
That's it's a fuckin'
brilliant guy, he's,
17
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,909
he fuckin' gets a baby pet crow,
18
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,046
trains it it's whole fuckin'
life,
19
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,049
to pick up knives, as, you know.
20
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,481
Maybe has a dummy, he
goes over and stabs it,
21
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:50,787
throws the knife,
22
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,663
and then he fuckin'
trains the crow to come in
23
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:53,624
and grab it, pick it up,
24
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,452
no evidence.
25
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,320
- Now that's a premeditated
murder right there.
26
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,841
That's like a, that's the best.
27
00:00:58,884 --> 00:00:59,844
- [Ricky] Smart.
28
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:02,495
- That's just, I
don't believe it.
29
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,500
- Boys that is fuckin' a
terrible idea.
30
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,632
- [Julian] Well you don't
wanna kill it.
31
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:08,764
- The whole future,
depends on a crow,
32
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,457
whether you trained
him well enough.
33
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:11,585
- I like to steal that
crow and fuckin' have 'em
34
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,936
for my own though.
35
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,725
Get him, instead of
knives, picking up knives,
36
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,820
like picking up my, my dope.
37
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,559
Cop pulls you over, fuckin'
takes the dope outta
38
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,340
your pocket, puts it on
the hood of your car.
39
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,604
Fuckin' crow, he jones
swoops down. Grabs it.
40
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:23,647
No evidence.
41
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:29,179
Wonder how much a fuckin'
crow like that would cost.
42
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,219
- I don't even think we
can even buy them, man.
43
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,265
I think you just gotta
go capture them.
44
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,360
- Huh?
45
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,788
- You couldn't just buy a crow,
man.
46
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,104
That store Rick,
47
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,880
"Hi there, do you have
48
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,104
crow that could swoop
down and take my drugs
49
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,624
when the police have me?"
50
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:43,887
- You could probably find a
place that would import one
51
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,279
for you though,
52
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,762
from one of the crower, crower
countries where it's not
53
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,943
illegal to, to buy a crow.
54
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,237
- A crower country.
55
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:57,028
Ricky, man. They're all
over fuckin' North America.
56
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:57,863
- Croatia.
57
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,564
Grower of crows.
58
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:05,129
- [Julian] They don't
grow crows, man.
59
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:08,388
- Croa- yeah. [laughs]
60
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,827
- That was a good one Rick.
61
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,662
- Croatia, get it?
62
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,440
- Yeah, I get it.
63
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:17,494
- Get it?
64
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:18,698
- I just don't find it funny,
man.
65
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:19,617
- I do.
66
00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:20,841
- And I'm baked right now.
67
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:21,969
[ Ricky laughing]
68
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:22,791
- Croatia.
69
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,056
- Aye, yeah.
70
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:26,892
- Nice one. Ricky.
71
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,189
- Thanks Bubs.
72
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,235
- Croatia. [chuckles]
73
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,930
- Okay.
74
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,887
Anything with not un-nude men?
75
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,067
- No.
76
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,852
- Either. So the guy on
shit on a fuckin'
77
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:39,547
- I don't know, Ricky.
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00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:40,814
I'm just readin'
79
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:41,246
- [Julian] Let's not
even talk about that one.
80
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,551
All right.
81
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:45,027
I found this guy who has
a rare genetic condition.
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00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,637
He's 53.
83
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,988
He can run for 350 miles
straight without stopping.
84
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,738
- [Ricky] Bullshit.
85
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:51,649
- Swear to fuck man.
86
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:52,563
- Car can't even do that.
87
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:53,387
- 350 miles?
88
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,654
- He just, he can go.
89
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:55,736
And the only reason
why he stopped
90
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:56,834
is because he was falling asleep
91
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,272
as he was running and
he kept going.
92
00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:58,998
[Ricky laughing]
93
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,088
It was like on autopilot.
94
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,436
- No, you've read that
in the Inquirer.
95
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:02,355
- No man. No, no, no.
96
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,789
This it's this dude right here.
97
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:06,225
- [Ricky] How's that?
Your car can't do that.
98
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,413
If a car can't do it a
man can't do it.
99
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:09,489
He's gonna need
100
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,837
- A car's machine. A
car can fuckin'
101
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,016
- What do you mean your
car can't go 350 miles?
102
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,892
- Not without fuckin' fuel.
103
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,813
The body's the same way.
Doesn't I mean,
104
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:20,898
you don't eat gas, but you
eat stuff that turns into gas.
105
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,639
That's why you fart.
106
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,158
[Ricky laughing]
107
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,375
- Ricky.
108
00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,473
- And in this condition
109
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,561
he doesn't build up
like lactic acid,
110
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,210
so his muscles don't get sore,
111
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,954
they just keep fuckin'
going, it's pretty weird.
112
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,125
- That would be good. But does
he eat while he's jogging?
113
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:38,001
He must need to put
something into his body, no?
114
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,703
- See, I just want to
back up here a second now.
115
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,221
- [Ricky] What?
116
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,484
- You know the gas that goes
in a car is different than gas
117
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,787
you get from eating, right?
118
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,014
- Yeah. I know, I know.
119
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,452
Because you eat food,
like if I eat this,
120
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,450
it takes anywhere
from a few hours,
121
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:55,022
to maybe 20 hours and
that's gonna be turned into,
122
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,240
well, what's in here,
but also gas.
123
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,631
- But you know that's not
the gas that goes in a car.
124
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:01,415
Right?
125
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,238
- I don't know. It's gas.
126
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,805
It burns it. Lights on fire.
127
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:07,072
The same as the gas you would
put in a car lights on fire.
128
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,376
It's a, well,
129
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,082
it's different because
liquid gas goes in a car.
130
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,949
This is gas gas that comes
outta you, 'cause it doesn't,
131
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,521
it's not liquid.
132
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:18,478
But you light it, and it,
it does light on fire.
133
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,349
- Okay. This is "yes" or "no."
134
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,610
"Yes" or "no" answer here,
Ricky.
135
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,093
Do you have fuckin' chicken
burgers or cheeseburgers
136
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:28,754
or any kind of food in
your gas tank right now?
137
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,880
"Yes" or "no?"
138
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,971
- By gas tank, do you
mean my stomach?
139
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:32,400
- [Julian] No. Your vehicle?
140
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,006
- No. No.
141
00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,966
My car would not fuckin' be
able to eat a chicken sandwich.
142
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,055
It doesn't have things that
will break it down and turn it
143
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,244
into fuckin' gas like I do.
144
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,811
My car eats fuckin' liquid gas.
145
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:45,808
It eats it.
146
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,680
I wish you could fart into
your tank and fill it up.
147
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:48,592
It'd be a lot cheaper, but,
148
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,156
- [Julian] Have you tried that?
149
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,472
- No, but now that I think about
it, I am gonna fuckin' try.
150
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,249
I could be onto something there.
151
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,694
- You're not, Ricky,
you'd need a car
152
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,730
that burns methane for
fuck's sakes.
153
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,425
- You'd need a cap, that
was self-sealing
154
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,133
so that when the gas went in,
155
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,220
it immediately sealed, it
wouldn't come back out.
156
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,349
Like a propane tank that way.
157
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,872
it may not work in the car,
158
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:10,475
but I bet it would work for
a fuckin' propane barbecue.
159
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:15,047
Take you a few weeks to get
enough pressure built up.
160
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,487
- I've got three fuckin'
explosion devices
161
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:18,804
that are gonna be fun as fuck.
162
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:19,880
So when you're done,
163
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,188
you should have one that
looks like this,
164
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,984
one that looks like this,
165
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,849
and one that looks like this.
166
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:28,811
The maze'll start small,
167
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,900
and get to the fuckin'
big daddy at the end.
168
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,769
It's the fuckin' funnest
one out of the three.
169
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,290
Just take a bit of hairspray,
doesn't matter what kind,
170
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,985
it all fuckin' works.
171
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,252
Little shot in there like that.
172
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,165
And you can just see.
173
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:40,989
[small explosion]
174
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,206
Ooh.
175
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,044
Yup.
176
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,781
[Ricky blowing]
177
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,093
Kinda cool. Kind of a
little flame.
178
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:47,829
But the other thing
you can do with this is
179
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,309
[can spraying]
180
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,219
put a little bit of
that in there.
181
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,533
Put a little cup on it.
182
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,090
[cup hits ground]
183
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,177
It's kinda cool too.
184
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,526
Actually. It's kinda fuckin'
lame,
185
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:01,265
but if you're a kid, it
might be cool, I guess.
186
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,927
Now this one here is fuckin'
fun.
187
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,151
You put a fuckin' tennis
ball down there,
188
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,499
which I already did,
189
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,319
may or may not have put
190
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,366
some other shit in there.
191
00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,071
Take your lighter fluid,
192
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,548
now you gotta fuckin' be
careful with this shit
193
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,888
'cause you can blow
yourself up pretty bad.
194
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:13,937
I've done it. It sucks.
195
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,382
You only wanna put a
couple drops.
196
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,159
Actually that was way too much.
197
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,384
And then you wanna take it.
198
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,293
You wanna shake the fuckin'
thing up.
199
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,818
Let all your gasses expand,
200
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,042
up into the other fuckin'
things,
201
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:29,001
I forget what it's called.
202
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,260
Just take a little lighter.
203
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,183
[debris shattering]
204
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:33,648
Boom.
205
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:34,917
All right.
206
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,089
Now it's time to have
some real fuckin' fun
207
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:36,924
with this piece of machinery.
208
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,011
Look at this goddamn thing.
209
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,230
So what you wanna do
first is take a potato
210
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,880
that's bigger than this fuckin'
pipe.
211
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,014
[potato mashing]
212
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:47,706
Ram some of that fuckin'
thing in there like that.
213
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,535
Then you take a clearing stick
214
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,763
or a fuckin' broom or shovel
215
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,631
or whatever the else
you can find.
216
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:58,636
Pack this fuckin' thing
down like a musket.
217
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,327
Take your cap off.
218
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,857
Wanna hit this with a
bit of hairspray.
219
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,080
[can spraying]
220
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,691
Put your cap back on.
221
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,039
And then I set up some
targets here.
222
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:13,261
Got some cans, got some
of the curvy chips.
223
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,482
We'll start with the cans.
224
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,782
[cans falling]
225
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:17,607
Holy fuck.
226
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,570
All right.
227
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,753
Didn't know that was gonna
be that fuckin' powerful.
228
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,839
Fucked over some of my tools.
229
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:25,919
Fuck's sakes.
230
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,008
Fuck!
231
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,408
Well, that's why you
have them all traced out,
232
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,541
so you know where the
fuck they go
233
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,892
when shit like this happens.
234
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:37,938
Put a nice little dent
235
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,759
and fucked that over
pretty good.
236
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,808
All right, let's try this again.
237
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,773
Shoot the fuckin' curvy chips.
238
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:45,812
[potato hits wall]
239
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:46,676
Holy fuck.
240
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:49,899
All right. I missed
the curvy chips.
241
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,467
Fuck's sakes.
242
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:54,044
Put a fuckin' big dent in this.
243
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:54,872
Holy fuck!
244
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,090
That's something I didn't know.
245
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,299
I got fuckin' learnt today.
246
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,178
Potato cleans up these fuckin'
boards.
247
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:04,219
So takes it right the
fuck off there.
248
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,267
Sometimes even Ricky gets
fuckin' learnt
249
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,272
in Getting Learnt with Ricky.
250
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,663
That's fuckin' awesome.
251
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,006
I was gonna get them to
get me a new one of these,
252
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:14,145
but I guess I can just
reuse that one.
253
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:14,539
[potato hits wall]
254
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:15,801
Fuck.
255
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,283
All right, I'm gonna try
to get a better angle
256
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,412
on the fuckin' curvy chips
257
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,764
because I keep fuckin'
over all my shit
258
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,373
in the back there, so
259
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,854
see if this can fuckin'
hit them.
260
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,594
[potato hits wall]
261
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,895
What the fuck did that hit?
262
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:27,991
[potato hits box]
263
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:28,859
Fuck!
264
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,380
Ugh. Fuck the smell of this.
265
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:34,733
[potato hits curvy chips]
266
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:37,165
That was fuckin' awesome.
267
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,432
Look at the fuckin' damage.
268
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:46,307
Fuckin' blasted a hole right
through the fuckin' thing.
269
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,441
Awesome.
270
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,353
What the fuck else
can we shoot at?
271
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,268
[Ricky shoving items in tube]
272
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,792
[hairspray can spraying]
273
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:55,185
All right. Let's [chuckles]
try it for the gasoline can.
274
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,360
[potato hits gasoline can]
275
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,315
Holy fuck that was awesome!
276
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,103
This thing's fuckin' powerful.
277
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,667
This is wicked.
278
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:05,684
All right, I will now attempt
to shoot at a moving target.
279
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:06,809
[potato hits fan]
280
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,770
[sound effect plays
in slow motion]
281
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:12,640
Wow. Did that ever
get fucked over?
282
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,902
[Ricky laughing]
283
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,335
Awesome.
284
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,821
[fan makes unpleasant noise]
285
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,522
We've kind of blew the fuckin'
286
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,481
"onny/offy" switch off of it,
so,
287
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,779
[fan stops]
288
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,959
Aw yeah, we fucked her good.
289
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:31,785
Now the other nice
thing about this
290
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,052
is it's not a deadly weapon.
291
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,574
So if you get a dog
that's fuckin' with ya,
292
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,007
you can blast one of these
and teach 'em a little lesson
293
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,973
or you know, maybe somebody
breaks in your home.
294
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,672
It's good to have one of
these next to your bed.
295
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,279
So hear the fuckin' door open,
296
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,629
all of a sudden you pick
up your little potato gun
297
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,980
and you're like, "Hey,
who the fuck are you?"
298
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,070
[potato blasts dummy]
299
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,069
And you take this and
use it as a weapon too.
300
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,420
You come over and say,
301
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:54,899
"Get the fuck outta my
house you fuckin' asshole!"
302
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,202
So it's good for that too,
303
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,767
for self defenses and shit.
304
00:09:58,815 --> 00:09:59,815
All right, one last one.
305
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,730
Just cause this is so fuckin'
fun.
306
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:03,946
[potato blasts curvy chips]
307
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,304
Fuckin' awesome!
308
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:08,956
I fuckin' love this thing.
309
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:09,869
Well this has been
Getting Learnt with Ricky.
310
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,053
I'm Ricky.
311
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,218
Hope you got learnt today
on how the fuck
312
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,003
to shoot the shit outta shit.
313
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,437
[upbeat piano music plays]
314
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,533
When people won't let you
fire off a fuckin' hand gun
315
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:17,402
in their fuckin' building 'cause
316
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,842
they're dick suckin' pokey-ass
317
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,749
[beep]
318
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,801
- You're such a fuckin' asshole.
319
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,801
Why today? Why do I have to
fuckin' deal with you today?
320
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:28,674
Fuck's sakes.
321
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,405
- What the fuck's goin' on?
322
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,535
- Hey terry.
323
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,327
- Yeah. You're not sleeping, eh?
324
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:36,721
- Some days you wake up, you
just feel like being a dick.
325
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,416
Today's one of those fuckin'
days.
326
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:42,514
- Okay. Well I'll just be
staying over here then.
327
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,994
- Woke up with this fuckin'
thing.
328
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,384
Nothing worse than waking up
with a piss boner in jail.
329
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,648
- Well you got two options.
330
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,780
You can fuckin' do a
handstand over the shitter
331
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,133
or you can pop her down, man.
332
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,743
Just take five.
333
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,263
- Fuck you, fuckin' asshole.
334
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,527
[white noise plays over
security camera]
335
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,920
I hate this fuckin' jail.
336
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,663
If we were at a real jail
I'd have a toilet myself,
337
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,234
you wake up with a piss
boner, you can get rid of it.
338
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,011
If you have to shit yourself,
you can deal with it.
339
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,485
Not here you can do is piss
in your toothpaste cup.
340
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,016
Good times.
341
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:11,889
So now I'm in a pissy mood.
Ruined my whole fuckin' day.
342
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:14,242
[background noise plays
over security camera]
343
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,762
What are we dealing with Terry?
344
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,675
- [Terry] Well, you're not
gonna fuckin' like it one bit.
345
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,030
- Raisin "coebler" and fruit?
346
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,290
Ugh. Fuck this.
347
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:23,597
Billy.
348
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:24,859
I'm not eating this shit.
349
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,421
I want some fuckin' ice
cream for breakfast.
350
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:27,428
- Can't have ice cream
for breakfast.
351
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,729
- [Ricky] Why not?
352
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,595
- Well, first off I give
the warden a meal plan.
353
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,336
Ice cream is not on it
for breakfast.
354
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,737
Secondly, I'm a human being.
355
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,300
You don't eat ice cream
for breakfast.
356
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,996
- I'm having some fuckin'
ice cream for breakfast.
357
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:37,654
- [Billy] I don't know where
you're gonna get it from.
358
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,787
- From you.
359
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:39,998
- [Billy] No, that's not
how this works.
360
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,217
- Well maybe this is
how it works.
361
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:42,565
Maybe my cock comes out,
does it Billy?
362
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,664
- [Billy] Oh, for Christ.
363
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,753
- [Ricky] How about that? Huh?
364
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,451
[inmates groaning over
security camera]
365
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:48,579
- Squid?
366
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,620
- Yep. Slides right through.
367
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,095
Yeah, you have to add
it to the shake.
368
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,485
- Holy Christ.
369
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,017
I'll eat five of those if
that's gonna clear me out.
370
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,322
- [Voice Offscreen] Hey.
371
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,237
- Is there any reason
372
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:01,332
Ricky is trying to serve
beans and wieners to the boys
373
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,242
- [Voice Offscreen] It's
like just wieners from here.
374
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:04,067
- Geez.
375
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,644
- Wow.
376
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:08,161
- That's actually not a bad
size for a breakfast sausage
377
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:08,945
- Ricky!
378
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,249
- to be, truthful.
379
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,564
- [Ricky] Maybe I take
some of this bread here
380
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,650
and just rub it all over
my fuckin' cock.
381
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,001
- Flip that dick like
a couple of hamburgers.
382
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,390
Gimme that.
383
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,783
Stay outta my kitchen.
384
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,866
- I don't know what it
is with Ricky,
385
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,605
but ever since we've
been little,
386
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,305
anytime somebody pisses him off.
387
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,703
The first thing his
brain thinks,
388
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,787
"Take out your wiener and
rub it on their stuff."
389
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,187
He's always been like that.
I don't know what it is.
390
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,410
Julian thinks it's like a,
you know,
391
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:36,970
like a dog marking
his territory,
392
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,277
but I think Ricky just
likes rubbing his wiener
393
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,023
and putting wiener
flakes on people's stuff.
394
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:44,065
He's done it to me more
times than I can count.
395
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:47,641
I remember I used to have a
Steve Austin Bionic Man doll,
396
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:52,509
pissed Ricky off, wiener all
over Steve Austin's face.
397
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:53,474
Ruined it.
398
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:57,249
- Get your dick away
from my food.
399
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:59,598
No, no, no, not the fruit cups.
400
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,128
Not the fruit cups.
401
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:01,961
[inmates cheering for Ricky]
402
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:02,778
- For the love of fuck,
403
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,165
what's going on in here?
404
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:04,998
- What the hell?
405
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,255
- Jesus fuck Ricky!
406
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,827
- What the fuck? Put it away!
407
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,354
- I want some fuckin'
ice cream for breakfast.
408
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,617
It's not going away
until I get some.
409
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:11,829
- [Female Guard] Are
you fuckin' kidding me?
410
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,838
Put your cock away. Jesus.
411
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,401
- I just want some fuckin'
ice cream for breakfast.
412
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,097
Is that see much to ask?
413
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,925
- Yes, actually you're in jail.
414
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,113
- You gotta put the fuckin'
dick away, Rick, please.
415
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,239
- I'll put it away when I
get some fuckin' ice cream
416
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,200
for me and my friend Terry.
417
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,939
- [Terry] Right on.
418
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,590
- You're not having ice
cream for breakfast,
419
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:29,943
but you know what,
what I will do.
420
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,253
I'll roll up a piece of bread,
421
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,118
like a little cone that
pops some oatmeal in it.
422
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,210
And you could use
your imagination.
423
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,600
Like we're all imagining
you're wearing pants right now.
424
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,253
- I want some real ice
cream for me and Terry
425
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,947
or this isn't going away.
426
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:44,385
Now let's take it up a level.
427
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,742
I know what you guys drive.
428
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:46,611
Maybe you get your fuckin'
tires slashed
429
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:47,651
in your parking lot.
430
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,696
You drive a white Prius.
I know that.
431
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,011
And you got that fuckin'
stupid IROC. Don't ya?
432
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,088
Don't you Ronnie?
433
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,746
- Nothing stupid about
my IROC Rick.
434
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,971
It's, it's my
grandfather's IROC.
435
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,321
- Oh yeah.
436
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,100
- They're in my family
for fuckin' generations.
437
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,934
Now put your dick away. Please.
438
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:06,543
- I'll put the dick away,
439
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:09,764
but you guys have a simple
fuckin' choice to make.
440
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,585
Either I get ice cream
for breakfast
441
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,293
for me and my friend Ter,
442
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,460
or your fuckin' tires are
getting slashed.
443
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,026
What's it gonna be?
444
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:20,381
- Oh. Holy Fuck that's good.
445
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:21,604
- [Terry] Fuck.
446
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,173
- That's what being a
dick is all about.
447
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,650
Sometimes you win.
Sometimes you lose.
448
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,779
Today, we won fuckin' won, Ter.
Yeah.
449
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,872
- Oh, hold on, cheers man,
right on.
450
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,481
Nice guys finish last.
That's a fuckin' fact.
451
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:33,393
- Do they?
452
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,437
- Well today.
453
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,574
Right? Cause if you were nice,
we wouldn't
454
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,915
- Oh yeah, yeah.
455
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:42,005
- Right, so, good job
being a dick.
456
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,265
You're a good guy for that.
457
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,409
- Hey bud. They need the car.
458
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,502
Preston's calling for you.
459
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:50,540
We gotta get you outta there.
460
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:53,235
[Ricky snoring]
461
00:14:58,636 --> 00:14:59,456
- Mhm?
462
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:01,675
- Julian needs to shoot.
463
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,686
They need the car for something.
464
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:04,858
So you gotta,
465
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,474
Preston wants you. He's
on the walkie.
466
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,654
Yeah Preston. We got him.
467
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:08,689
He's up.
468
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:09,563
Well, he's passed out, but
469
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:10,874
- Are you fuckin kiddin'.
470
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,430
Like why do you guys work
so fuckin' early, man?
471
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,127
People need to sleep.
472
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:18,915
This is fuckin' bullshit.
473
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,351
Where the fuck am I
supposed to sleep?
474
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,087
Tell me that.
475
00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,007
- I dunno, bud.
476
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,181
Maybe like in your own trailer.
477
00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:24,526
I mean this car.
478
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:28,225
When we need to do a shot,
we need to do a shot.
479
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,485
- This is fuckin' bullshit.
480
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:33,108
- Hey Ricky, you gotta get up.
481
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:33,979
I need that door.
482
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,240
- Hm?
483
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,942
- You gotta get up. I
need to get that door.
484
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,900
- Ugh, fuckin' stupid fuckin'
bullshit.
485
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,160
Fuckin' idiots.
486
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:55,605
[vacuum sucking loudly]
487
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,526
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
488
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,970
What the fuck is going on here?
What are?
489
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,971
This is fuckin' bullshit.
490
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,842
Bubbles, this is fucked, man.
491
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,543
Those people have no
fuckin' respect for me.
492
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:15,801
I'm trying to sleep. I
haven't slept yet.
493
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,374
They have no respect for
me. So today, guess what?
494
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,241
I have no respect for them.
Let's get drunk as fuck,
495
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,632
Highest as fuck, and
fuck around with them.
496
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,365
- I can't do that right now,
Ricky.
497
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,456
The ugly guy with the
beard told me
498
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,715
if I come up to the front
and shoot a thing for them,
499
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,118
10 bucks, I get 10 bucks.
500
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,512
So I'm gonna go out and do that.
501
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:31,344
- You're shooting
that right now?
502
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:32,821
- Pretty soon. Yeah.
503
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,431
- Where? Right up at the,
the front gate.
504
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,211
- Up by Randy's shot.
505
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,736
Big fuckin' Randy shootin'
his lips off,
506
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,479
came down to my shed
507
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,390
[loud music approaching]
508
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:43,175
and he was lucky to
do, you know, whatever.
509
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,659
And I fuckin' said, "Come
here, Randy, come here.
510
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,270
You big fuckin' walrus."
511
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,701
- [Ricky] Hey boys!
512
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:50,527
- Ricky!
513
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:51,404
- [Ricky] How's it going?
514
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,055
- Ricky I'm shooting a thing.
515
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,669
[rock music blares]
516
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:56,540
- Ricky.
517
00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:58,842
- Can't hear ya bud.
518
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,237
- All right. We're
shooting something.
519
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,760
You gotta go. You can't be here.
520
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:02,723
- Right on.
521
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,020
- We're shooting an actual bit,
522
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:04,886
and you just wrecked it.
523
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,106
- What Bubs?
524
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,715
- [Director] You're
wrecking everything.
525
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,675
- He's just doing it.
He can fuckin' hear you.
526
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:10,864
He's just doing it.
527
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,339
[Ricky laughing]
528
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,209
- Woo!
529
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,509
Yeah!
530
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,685
- [Director] Anyway, go
ahead Bubbles.
531
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,601
- Well now like, do I
just fuckin' start over?
532
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,207
- Oh, look. Yeah, start over.
533
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:23,907
- So I was down at my shed
there and Randy came down,
534
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:26,515
shooting his lip off,
all fuckin' pissed off.
535
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,867
And I said, "Come here,
Randy, you fuckin' big walrus,
536
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,397
and I'll punch your
tits right off."
537
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,490
[loud music approaching]
538
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:33,879
What's he doing?
539
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,932
[rock music blares]
540
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,449
- Can you guys tell me
how to get to the,
541
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,104
how do you get down to
where Bubbles lives?
542
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,058
You know, bubbles,
543
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,456
- [Director] Rick, you live
right next door to them.
544
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,019
[Ricky laughing]
545
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,586
- [Bubbles] Ricky.
546
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,108
- [Ricky] Right Bubs?
547
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:54,457
- You're drinking and driving,
are ya?
548
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:58,598
- I'm drivin' and drinkin'
[laughs]
549
00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,382
Well, I guess the
whole crew's moved
550
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,376
inside Julian's bar now.
551
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:01,207
I'm not sure what
they're shooting,
552
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,524
but I'm gonna fuck with 'em.
553
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,779
You ever see what happens
when you go into place
554
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,561
and fire a gun off,
they're not expecting it?
555
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,516
It's fuckin' hilarious.
556
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,354
- [Ricky] How's everybody doing?
557
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:09,611
[gun fires multiple shots]
558
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,703
[people scream]
559
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,052
- [Director] Ricky? What the
fuck is wrong with you, man?
560
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,313
Get the fuck outta here
with your guns. Julian?
561
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:17,226
- [Julian] Are you kidding me?
562
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,360
Shooting up in the fuckin' bar?
563
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:19,751
- [Ricky] Thought it was
kinda funny, man.
564
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,194
- [Julian] Ricky, don't be
fuckin' shooting guns off.
565
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,280
- [Ricky] Sorry to wreck
your fuckin' stupid TV show!
566
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,888
- [Julian] I've got
customers in here!
567
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,888
- Ricky, I am here with a
childt. You know what I'm sayin'?
568
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,500
You don't walk in no
place firin' a handgun
569
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,411
when there's little childt
up in this map right quick?
570
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,536
- I'm just trying to
make a point.
571
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:31,547
You guys are gonna fuck
around with me
572
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:32,588
while I'm trying to sleep?
573
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,163
I'll fuck around with you.
574
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:33,899
- Hell my Christ.
575
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:34,718
- [Ricky] Fuckin' idiots.
576
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:35,975
- [J-Roc] Bitch ain't smart.
577
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,417
- Am I fuckin' around
with your fuckin' sleep?
578
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:38,734
- See the thing is when
someone fucks with ya,
579
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:40,859
they disrespect ya, then
ya gotta fuck with them
580
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,692
5 or 10 times as much
as they fuck with you.
581
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,431
It's the only way they're
gonna get learned a lesson.
582
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:47,473
So I heard they're
trying to shoot
583
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,997
this little thing with Lahey,
584
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,690
and apparently sound's
the big thing.
585
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:54,088
Oh, don't up our precious
fucking sound.
586
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,133
[Ricky speaking into
a megaphone]
587
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:55,997
Oh, they called it action,
did they,
588
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:57,177
were they you shooting something
589
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,313
with Mr. Lahey, are you guys?
590
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,835
Was I just botherin' ya?
591
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:01,918
Can you hear this or,
592
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,486
this isn't screwing
things up is it?
593
00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:06,932
It's got a little
siren thing too.
594
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,581
I don't know if that's gonna
fuck things up just to say
595
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:10,496
- [Director] We're
rolling over here.
596
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:11,590
[siren wailing]
597
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:13,058
Oh for fuck's sake.
598
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:16,548
- Sorry guys. That's, does
that fuck the sound up, or?
599
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,160
- [Director] What's your deal?
600
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,380
- Just hanging out here guys.
I can't sleep for some reason.
601
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,990
You know, people waking
me up and just thought,
602
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:24,290
come down here and hang
out for the day and,
603
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:25,987
just talk to you guys and,
604
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,954
hang out, maybe have
a few drinks.
605
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,302
- [Mike Smith] And first
of all, gimme this.
606
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,692
- Hey, you're Mike Smith.
I know you.
607
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,134
- Yeah. This is our megaphone.
608
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,611
- No, I found this in the woods.
609
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,611
I was going to just hang
out with her for the day.
610
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:38,533
- Found it in the woods, did ya.
611
00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:41,918
Here, listen, I'll make
you a fucking deal.
612
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,233
[megaphone beeps repeatedly]
613
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,709
How do you shut this fuckin'
thing off?
614
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,098
- [Director] Gimme that
fuckin' thing. Cocksucker.
615
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:47,971
- See, I think people
could learn stuff from me.
616
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:48,752
There's a really good
life lesson there.
617
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,006
People fuck with ya?
618
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,448
You fuck back with them
five times as much,
619
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:52,894
and look what happens.
620
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,110
Next thing you know, you're
in a fuckin' hotel room
621
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,369
with 24 beer and a half
bucket of chicken.
622
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:59,682
That's how ya fuckin' do things.
623
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,200
- What's the difference
between donkey and a mule?
624
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,074
- Number of legs. No.
625
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,195
- One looks like your mother,
626
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,937
and the other one looks
like his mother.
627
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:07,468
- Number of legs?
628
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:08,860
[Ricky laughs]
629
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:09,823
- Yeah, no, that's a
different thing altogether.
630
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,690
[Ricky laughs]
631
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:12,912
A donkey
632
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,130
is
633
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:15,559
made from a horse
634
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,170
and a cow?
635
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,697
[Ricky laughs]
636
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,922
- A horse and a cow, man?
637
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:24,701
- Yeah.
638
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:25,615
- No.
639
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:30,054
Okay, no, it's a mule
is between a,
640
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:31,668
a donkey fucks,
641
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,058
a
642
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,411
full?
643
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,970
- [Bubbles] A what?
644
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:38,802
- A baby horse.
645
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:40,666
And it turns into a donkey.
646
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:41,537
Or a mule.
647
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,287
Fuck, boys. I don't remember.
just tell me what it is.
648
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,680
I've learned it before.
649
00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:47,992
- You said a donkey's made
from a horse and a cow.
650
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:49,069
- Right?
651
00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,027
- And then that donkey.
652
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:52,819
- Fucked a
653
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:54,988
baby horse,
654
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,212
and makes a mule?
655
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,387
- Yeah, you got it, Ricky.
656
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,960
That's exactly right.
657
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:03,830
- Perfect.
658
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,480
People fuckin' say
I'm not smart.
659
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,567
They can fuck themselves.
660
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,620
[Ricky sighs]
661
00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:13,532
Got anything else for me?
662
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:14,576
- I don't know, man.
663
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,451
It's hard to fuckin'
see this screen.
664
00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,192
- I can't even fuckin'
believe that my picture's
665
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:21,633
on this and I'm not
seeing one fuckin' cent.
666
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:24,201
I do love that Cyrus
is riding a big giant,
667
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:25,019
cock horse.
668
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:27,546
- The Republic of Moldova.
669
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,380
They've got the highest
liquor consumption
670
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,588
out of any place in the
entire fuckin' world.
671
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:32,898
I wanna go there.
672
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:35,773
- That tennis player was
from there. Wasn't she?
673
00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:37,686
Martina Maltova?
674
00:21:37,731 --> 00:21:39,301
The nice breastage?
675
00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:41,737
- What?
676
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,908
Martina Navratilova. Is
that her name?
677
00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,043
- I don't man.
678
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,958
- [Julian] It's not Maltova,
man.
679
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,313
- Okay. Sorry. The
prince of Maltova, what?
680
00:21:53,573 --> 00:21:54,533
What did, I don't even
know what you said.
681
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:55,754
All I heard was Maltova.
682
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:56,842
- You guys are baked
outta yourgoddman minds.
683
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,660
- [Julian] No Shit.
684
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:59,487
- [Ricky] Yes.
685
00:21:59,535 --> 00:22:00,095
- I just don't, I don't
even wanna look at,
686
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,284
I don't wanna read.
687
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,540
- Just tell me one more time.
I'm ready.
688
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:05,152
I'm gonna eat my chicken
and I'm gonna listen.
689
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:06,803
- All right, I'm done, man.
690
00:22:06,847 --> 00:22:08,017
I'm totally done.
691
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,325
I don't even know what
I was talking about.
692
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,201
[Bubbles laughing]
693
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:10,981
- I thought you said something
694
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:12,065
about the prince of Malto.
695
00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:13,463
- No, I said there's
a place called
696
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,326
the Republic of Maltova.
697
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,117
- Oh, wow. So that's
all we learned.
698
00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:19,291
- No they drank the most
booze that of anybody
699
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,898
in the world in this
small place.
700
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,688
- Bull fucking shit.
701
00:22:22,732 --> 00:22:24,522
- Well, yeah, they're
saying it's like 14 liters,
702
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,780
a year that's not a lot.
703
00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:27,693
- 14 liters a year
704
00:22:27,737 --> 00:22:28,697
- [Julian] Straight alcohol.
705
00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,518
- We drink, fuck,
706
00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:33,216
- 14 Liters? Jesus Murphy.
707
00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:34,744
- On average, on average.
708
00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:36,358
- A year?
709
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,748
Fuck. At least a couple
liters a week for me.
710
00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:41,453
- In Canada they say it's
like 13 or something.
711
00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:42,670
13 or 14 liters.
712
00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:43,489
- A year?
713
00:22:43,536 --> 00:22:44,316
- Yeah.
714
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:45,153
- That can't be right.
715
00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,019
- No. 10
716
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:46,890
- I'd like them to find
717
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,410
[crosstalk]
718
00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:50,755
- Just do Nova Scotia.
719
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:53,594
I bet it would be yeah, at
least 14 liters a month.
720
00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:56,983
- [Julian] Oh it's way
more than that.
721
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,807
- I mean, is that hard
liquor or is that beer?
722
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,595
- [Julian] That's pure liquor.
723
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,210
- If it's beer it's 800
liters a year.
724
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:03,690
- I don't fuckin' know, man.
725
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,080
I don't wanna, this seems,
726
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:06,602
this is too much work right now.
727
00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:08,906
- Boys. I gotta go
feed my kitties.
728
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:11,222
What the are you doing here,
Lahey?
729
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:12,479
- Jesus Christ.
730
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:16,180
- [Lahey] Merchandising.
Are you boys?
731
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:18,660
- Nope. Nothing to see here,
bud.
732
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:20,751
- Just mindin' our own business,
actually.
733
00:23:20,790 --> 00:23:24,880
- I hear there's a little,
little freebie going on today.
734
00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:25,795
- Little. What?
735
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:26,669
- Freebie.
736
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:29,015
- Cheers boys.
737
00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:31,239
- You, you owe me five bucks,
738
00:23:31,279 --> 00:23:31,929
and I'm getting it.
739
00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:33,055
[soft piano music plays]
740
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:35,457
- I'll deduct it from
your lot fees.
741
00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,371
You're looking real pretty boy.
742
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,896
- That's a weird thing to say.
743
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:43,415
- All right now I'm going.
744
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:44,805
- Yeah, me too.
745
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:47,468
- [Corey] Hey what's up?
Can I come hang with you?
746
00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:47,823
- Corey?
747
00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:49,251
- Jesus.
748
00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:52,257
- Are you fuckin' kidding
me? I got shit to do today.
749
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,950
- [Corey] Okay.
750
00:23:53,997 --> 00:23:55,257
- Later man.
751
00:23:55,303 --> 00:23:57,263
- Tune in next time when,
752
00:23:57,305 --> 00:23:59,215
something cool happens.
753
00:24:00,743 --> 00:24:04,143
[soft piano music plays]
754
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:13,667
[birds chirping]
755
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:20,936
[fish chanting "oh fuck"]
756
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:32,377
[narrator whispers "fuck off"]
757
00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:36,977
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