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- [Announcer] Warning,
the following program
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00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:06,006
contains really coarse language,
weed, alcohol consumption,
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00:00:06,044 --> 00:00:08,484
smoking, and sexual
in-fur-lences.
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00:00:10,002 --> 00:00:13,132
This content may not be
suitable for viewers under 18.
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00:00:13,176 --> 00:00:14,656
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,697 --> 00:00:17,307
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
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00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:18,429
on your remote control.
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00:00:20,045 --> 00:00:22,965
[soft piano music]
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00:00:24,871 --> 00:00:27,621
[birds chirping]
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00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:31,652
- You want this?
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00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,918
- I'm good, I'm good.
12
00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:33,738
- Good, I wasn't gonna
give it to you anyway,
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00:00:33,785 --> 00:00:34,565
you fucking piece of shit.
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00:00:34,611 --> 00:00:35,481
- Frig off.
15
00:00:35,524 --> 00:00:36,614
- Randy...
16
00:00:36,654 --> 00:00:37,524
- Hey, don't be
fucking pushing him.
17
00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:39,307
- You're lucky that I have a...
18
00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:41,780
... half of a hash
joint with me right now.
19
00:00:41,828 --> 00:00:43,308
I'm not feeling that aggressive.
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00:00:44,393 --> 00:00:45,953
But if you fuck with
me too much,
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00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:48,003
then some shit will go down...
22
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,005
... just so you know.
23
00:00:50,046 --> 00:00:52,446
- And I think he could
totally take you,
24
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,530
so you probably should
shut your mouth
25
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:55,397
and stop being a dick.
26
00:00:55,438 --> 00:00:56,878
- Okay, alright, guys. Just...
27
00:00:56,915 --> 00:01:00,525
- [Ricky] This warm beer is
making me feel... violent.
28
00:01:00,568 --> 00:01:02,308
- [Randy] Ricky, I'm about to
talk about the next topic...
29
00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:04,441
- [Ricky] The hash is kind
of fighting it,
30
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,831
but the liquor's on this
shoulder going,
31
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"Fucking hit him,"
32
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,913
and the fucking hash is
over here saying,
33
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,219
"Not yet, just fucking
let him say his shit."
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00:01:11,264 --> 00:01:13,394
- [Julian] And just so you
know, Randy, if he does
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00:01:13,438 --> 00:01:16,178
fucking freak out on you,
I'm not gonna stop him, okay?
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00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:17,700
So don't be a dick.
Let's continue.
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00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:19,042
- Listen guys, don't blame me...
38
00:01:19,091 --> 00:01:20,741
- You better have some
fucking good shit here.
39
00:01:20,786 --> 00:01:22,356
- Actually, I got a
story that...
40
00:01:22,394 --> 00:01:24,794
... that I found and...
41
00:01:24,829 --> 00:01:26,699
... I thought it would
be interesting to you
42
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:28,522
and you'd actually be
able to talk about it,
43
00:01:28,568 --> 00:01:30,528
because normally you're dumb.
44
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:33,218
I don't even think that you
got your grade 10, actually.
45
00:01:33,265 --> 00:01:34,875
- Keep saying shit, Randy,
and I'll keep drinking.
46
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:35,876
We'll see what happens.
47
00:01:35,916 --> 00:01:37,566
- Okay, the next
story that we have
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00:01:37,613 --> 00:01:39,133
to talk about here today is some
49
00:01:39,178 --> 00:01:42,448
news about NASA, alright?
50
00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:43,662
Who doesn't like NASA, right?
51
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:44,610
- It's just space, you dumbass.
52
00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:46,346
- The fucking space story, man.
53
00:01:46,395 --> 00:01:47,955
- Well, this is... this
is interesting,
54
00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:50,004
'cause... 'cause people
are saying that they want
55
00:01:50,048 --> 00:01:52,398
NASA to stop holding press
conferences until they
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00:01:52,439 --> 00:01:53,479
discover...
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00:01:53,526 --> 00:01:55,566
... some little alien guys.
58
00:01:55,613 --> 00:01:56,883
- What the fuck are you
talking about ?
59
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,827
- Well, apparently people
are getting pissed off,
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00:01:58,874 --> 00:02:00,744
like they don't want them to
be talking about, you know,
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00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,837
"Oh, we found a black hole or
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00:02:02,874 --> 00:02:05,184
we found water on Mars
and stuff like this...
63
00:02:05,222 --> 00:02:06,012
... that people are just saying,
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00:02:06,048 --> 00:02:08,268
"Look, if you find aliens,
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00:02:08,309 --> 00:02:09,569
put it in the news."
66
00:02:09,614 --> 00:02:12,574
But I like hearing about
stuff like water on Mars.
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00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:14,354
That's cool shit, I think.
68
00:02:14,396 --> 00:02:16,526
- It's useless fucking
shit that's wasting space
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00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,310
in our brains, in my opinion.
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00:02:18,353 --> 00:02:21,833
I agree with whoever the
fuck said this. It's stupid.
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"Oh fuck, we found another star,
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00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:23,925
we found another planet."
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00:02:23,962 --> 00:02:24,442
Who gives a fuck? I
can't see them.
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00:02:24,483 --> 00:02:25,573
I don't care.
75
00:02:25,614 --> 00:02:26,404
- What, are we gonna live
there someday?
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00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,570
That's what they're saying.
77
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,044
- Do I have to remember
the name of these
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00:02:29,093 --> 00:02:30,523
fucking things? With their
name with numbers and shit.
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00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:31,570
No, I don't give a fuck.
80
00:02:31,614 --> 00:02:32,834
- Why don't we work
on trying to...
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00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:34,095
... save our planet
instead of, you know...
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00:02:34,136 --> 00:02:35,316
... wanting to fucking
take a hike out to Mars.
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00:02:35,354 --> 00:02:37,184
- I agree. Until you
find some fucking aliens
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00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,573
or space ships or...
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00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:42,054
... other worlds or whatever...
fuck off.
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00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,573
We don't need to hear from
you. It's a waste of time.
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00:02:43,615 --> 00:02:44,575
- I have to say, Ricky,
I disagree with you.
88
00:02:44,615 --> 00:02:45,095
- It's a waste of money.
89
00:02:45,136 --> 00:02:46,216
- I disagree.
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00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,617
- I think the story's fucked,
anyway.
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00:02:47,658 --> 00:02:50,228
- I think... I think NASA
should be telling us about
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00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:52,397
all kinds of stuff. That's
why that telescope's up there.
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00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:54,441
- Tell me this, Randy.
Do you think...
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00:02:54,484 --> 00:02:56,094
... that you think there is
actually little alien guys
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00:02:56,136 --> 00:02:56,746
running around up there?
96
00:02:56,789 --> 00:02:57,959
- Absolutely.
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00:02:58,007 --> 00:02:59,047
- Well Julian, every
time you look up in...
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00:02:59,093 --> 00:03:01,443
... into the sky and you...
at night,
99
00:03:01,484 --> 00:03:02,574
and you see a...
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00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,705
... a star twinkling,
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00:03:04,745 --> 00:03:06,625
that star is really a sun.
102
00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:09,788
And that sun has got all
kinds of other planets
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00:03:09,832 --> 00:03:12,832
circling around it,
and just the...
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00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:15,486
... it's just like, not
like our solar system,
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00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,479
but it's... it's...you
know, kind of different.
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00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,359
But anyway, every
one of those is
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00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,178
a whole solar system, Julian.
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00:03:20,224 --> 00:03:21,614
So there... there's probably,
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00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,749
there's probably...
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00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,000
... aliens out there.
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00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,140
I mean, maybe
they're eating like
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00:03:25,181 --> 00:03:27,181
alien cheeseburgers and stuff.
113
00:03:27,224 --> 00:03:28,364
- You are fucked. I'm
going to sleep.
114
00:03:28,398 --> 00:03:29,838
- Don't be so dumb, man.
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00:03:31,964 --> 00:03:33,444
Alright, what's the next one?
116
00:03:33,485 --> 00:03:34,795
- And there is aliens.
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00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,180
- You guys are really...
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00:03:37,224 --> 00:03:39,794
- You just fucking do a
lot of mushrooms or...
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00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:42,003
... a bit of LSD, and
that's when you fucking can
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00:03:42,051 --> 00:03:44,571
see them and
communicate with them.
121
00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:46,576
- Ricky, that's called
hallucinating, bud.
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00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:48,096
- Or is it?
123
00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:48,488
- It is.
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00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:49,790
- Or...
125
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:50,613
- It's a drug. It's a
hallucinogen and you're
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00:03:50,659 --> 00:03:52,059
fucking hallucinating.
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00:03:52,095 --> 00:03:54,575
- Or it's all real and no
one's telling you the truth.
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00:03:55,964 --> 00:03:57,664
- You're probably just
looking at Corey thinking
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00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,144
he's an alien because
you're hallucinating, man.
130
00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:03,062
- Well, whatever it is,
I've seen them. They exist.
131
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:03,705
- They don't exist.
132
00:04:03,747 --> 00:04:04,487
- You're so stupid.
133
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:05,920
- They might exist, but...
134
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:08,885
- You're fucking more stupid
than I'll ever try to be.
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00:04:08,921 --> 00:04:11,921
[light piano music]
136
00:04:24,009 --> 00:04:26,929
- For fucks sakes.
Joint an hour...
137
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,104
... Yeah, okay.
138
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:32,622
Get to be...
139
00:04:32,661 --> 00:04:33,801
... got, getting flowered?
140
00:04:33,835 --> 00:04:35,315
Do you got... gotten flowered?
141
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:37,310
Do you get...
142
00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:40,227
- [Announcer] Ricky, Julian...
visitor.
143
00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:45,351
- Let's go, Rick.
144
00:04:46,531 --> 00:04:47,661
- For what?
145
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,235
- We've got a visitor.
146
00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:50,271
- What's the point, Julian?
147
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:51,974
I don't even give a
fuck anymore.
148
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,930
- But it's Bubbles. Come
on, get the fuck up.
149
00:04:53,966 --> 00:04:55,096
- There's no point.
150
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:57,530
- What do you mean,
"There's no point"?
151
00:04:57,575 --> 00:04:58,705
- Who am I?
152
00:04:58,748 --> 00:05:00,658
- Who the... who can...
get the fuck up.
153
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:02,185
"Who am I?"
154
00:05:02,227 --> 00:05:03,317
Jesus Christ.
155
00:05:04,488 --> 00:05:05,578
Come on.
156
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:06,409
- I'm fucking nobody,
that's who I am.
157
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:07,835
I'm fucking nobody.
158
00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:15,486
- Hey, what's up?
159
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:16,352
- Hey, boys.
160
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,575
- No, no, no, no, no.
161
00:05:21,619 --> 00:05:22,579
Sit the fuck there.
162
00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:23,489
- What?
163
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,742
- Just sit there.
164
00:05:26,836 --> 00:05:28,106
Pick up the phone.
165
00:05:28,141 --> 00:05:28,971
- Hey, Ricky.
166
00:05:29,011 --> 00:05:29,971
- Bubbles. How's it going?
167
00:05:30,836 --> 00:05:32,266
- What's wrong?
168
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,875
- Oh man, just... I don't
know. I'm having some fucking
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00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:37,013
negative thoughts and
feelings, man. I don't know.
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00:05:37,054 --> 00:05:37,704
- What?
171
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,100
- Well, you know, I...
172
00:05:39,141 --> 00:05:40,271
... I've had a couple close
calls with death lately,
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00:05:40,315 --> 00:05:41,325
and I almost shrunk
to death and...
174
00:05:41,359 --> 00:05:42,189
- Ricky...
175
00:05:42,228 --> 00:05:43,358
... had hair growing under my...
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00:05:43,402 --> 00:05:44,842
... pisshole and my ass
and everything.
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00:05:44,881 --> 00:05:47,021
- He's driving me fucking nuts,
Bubs.
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00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:48,184
- What's wrong? Why are you...
179
00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:49,358
- It's just... it's
gotten me to the...
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00:05:49,402 --> 00:05:52,012
... getting think that if
I did get dead,
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00:05:52,055 --> 00:05:54,135
what the fuck would I be
remembered by?
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00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:54,836
Nothing.
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00:05:54,881 --> 00:05:56,451
Who am I? I'm nobody.
184
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,579
- I'll remember you, Ricky.
Everybody's gonna remember you.
185
00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,450
- Yeah, but I want...
186
00:06:00,489 --> 00:06:01,579
everyone to remember me.
187
00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:02,620
I want to be remembered
by something.
188
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,013
- Ricky. I'm telling
you right now.
189
00:06:04,055 --> 00:06:06,965
Take the frown and turn
it upside down. Right now.
190
00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,972
- See? Who came up with
that expression?
191
00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:10,712
That's a perfect example.
192
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:11,970
I've been thinking about
expressions lately,
193
00:06:12,012 --> 00:06:13,402
'cause that's... the
guy that came up with,
194
00:06:13,447 --> 00:06:16,187
"Finger licking good."
He'll be remembered forever.
195
00:06:16,229 --> 00:06:17,929
That's fucking brilliant,
'cause it's true.
196
00:06:17,968 --> 00:06:18,798
It's finger fucking
licking good.
197
00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:20,108
But somebody came up with it,
198
00:06:20,142 --> 00:06:21,882
and that guy's
remembered forever.
199
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,275
- Okay.
200
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,576
Ricky...
201
00:06:24,621 --> 00:06:25,841
... you're gonna...
202
00:06:25,882 --> 00:06:28,012
Look, just calm the fuck down,
okay?
203
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,496
You're gonna be remembered,
you can come up...
204
00:06:29,534 --> 00:06:30,794
- I don't know.
205
00:06:30,838 --> 00:06:33,008
Is that what you need?
You need a fucking saying?
206
00:06:33,056 --> 00:06:35,186
- I like sayings, and I
just thought that maybe
207
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,800
if I could come up with
one, that'd be like,
208
00:06:36,838 --> 00:06:40,058
"Fuck, that guy. That's the guy
that came up with that one."
209
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,530
- This is what this is all
about, a fucking saying?
210
00:06:41,578 --> 00:06:42,488
- God.
211
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,145
Who gives a fuck about sayings?
212
00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:46,017
- Well Ricky, first of
all, "Finger licking good,"
213
00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:47,796
is just a thing they come
up with for the commercial.
214
00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:48,499
I don't think...
215
00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:49,755
- It's the commercial.
216
00:06:49,796 --> 00:06:51,846
- No, no, but there's
other ones, like...
217
00:06:51,883 --> 00:06:53,933
... some of the... well,
what are the other ones?
218
00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:55,970
"You can't fit a square
peg into a round hole."
219
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,184
- Yeah.
220
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:58,500
- That guy's probably
remembered forever.
221
00:06:58,535 --> 00:06:59,975
- Yeah, but who's the
guy that came up with it?
222
00:07:00,014 --> 00:07:01,974
Nobody fucking knows.
223
00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:04,324
I mean, if he laid
claim to it, you'd know.
224
00:07:04,361 --> 00:07:06,711
- It's probably somebody
famous, that's what I mean.
225
00:07:06,752 --> 00:07:08,012
What... just a second.
226
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:10,969
I had the other ones too,
'cause...
227
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,534
... the problem is I've
been trying to come up
228
00:07:12,578 --> 00:07:13,488
with one and they don't
even fucking make sense.
229
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:14,966
Who the fuck would say,
230
00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:16,404
"It's a square peg that
doesn't fit into a round hole."
231
00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:17,669
Like...
232
00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:19,500
- Well, are you just
talking about sayings?
233
00:07:19,536 --> 00:07:21,756
Like, "Let sleeping dogs
lie," that type of thing?
234
00:07:21,797 --> 00:07:23,107
- Bingo.
235
00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:25,194
And look, "No point crying
over spilled liquor."
236
00:07:25,231 --> 00:07:26,841
What does that mean?
237
00:07:26,884 --> 00:07:30,014
- Spilled milk is actually
the saying. "No point in..."
238
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,458
But...
239
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,062
- The old man says, "No, no.
It's not sleeping dogs...
240
00:07:34,102 --> 00:07:36,632
... it's 'Sleeping dogs
seldom bite.'"
241
00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,146
- No, "Let sleeping dogs..."
242
00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:40,149
You know that sayings
aren't just about
243
00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:41,979
what the fucking words mean,
right, Ricky?
244
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,975
Like, "Let sleeping dogs lie,"
245
00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:46,845
doesn't just mean about dogs.
246
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,704
- What?
247
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:49,757
- Oh my God.
248
00:07:49,797 --> 00:07:52,237
Ricky, a saying is
something that, you know,
249
00:07:52,276 --> 00:07:54,626
it means a bigger thing,
like, "Let sleeping dogs lie."
250
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,797
What it means is, "Don't fuck
around with something that
251
00:07:56,841 --> 00:08:00,061
doesn't need to be
fucked around with."
252
00:08:00,102 --> 00:08:03,142
'Cause if you do, you might
cause yourself a bigger problem.
253
00:08:03,189 --> 00:08:04,879
That's what it means.
254
00:08:04,928 --> 00:08:06,628
- So that's what I need
to get my head wrapped
255
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,187
around so I can come up
with one, I guess.
256
00:08:08,232 --> 00:08:10,272
But what about...
what do you mean?
257
00:08:10,319 --> 00:08:12,019
Alright, "Best things in
life are trees."
258
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,229
What does that mean?
259
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,887
- No.
260
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:15,928
Ricky, the... it's...
261
00:08:15,972 --> 00:08:17,022
Oh my God.
262
00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:17,969
"The best things in
life are free,"
263
00:08:18,016 --> 00:08:18,796
- And that's bullshit.
264
00:08:18,841 --> 00:08:19,851
- ...is the saying.
265
00:08:19,885 --> 00:08:21,405
- That's a bullshit saying.
266
00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:22,101
- It's not bullshit.
267
00:08:22,146 --> 00:08:23,456
- Who fucking says that?
268
00:08:23,494 --> 00:08:25,454
- It means, Ricky, that
the best things in life
269
00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:26,454
are being happy and...
270
00:08:27,928 --> 00:08:29,718
... you know, enjoying
nature, all those types of...
271
00:08:29,755 --> 00:08:33,325
- Yeah, but that's not
fucking reality, okay?
272
00:08:33,364 --> 00:08:34,624
Alright? It's fucked.
273
00:08:34,668 --> 00:08:35,188
- I sort of get...
274
00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:36,283
- Nothing's free.
275
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,800
- I get what you're saying,
like...
276
00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:40,462
... okay, "Curiosity killed
the rat," would be about...
277
00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:41,754
- No, it's...
278
00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:42,539
- ... if the rat wasn't
curious, he wouldn't
279
00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:44,061
have gotten dead?
280
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:47,374
- It's a cat, but yes,
that's what it means.
281
00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:49,757
Being too curious and
poking your fucking nose
282
00:08:49,799 --> 00:08:50,409
in things that doesn't belong...
283
00:08:50,452 --> 00:08:51,752
- Being fucking nosy.
284
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,679
- ... and Wham-o, you
get killed by something
285
00:08:53,712 --> 00:08:55,802
that you don't know
enough about.
286
00:08:55,842 --> 00:08:57,062
Jesus. Ricky, if it's just...
287
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,984
... look. If you want to
come up with a saying,
288
00:08:59,017 --> 00:09:00,277
you just gotta think of...
289
00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:02,671
- "Don't eat your chickens
before they hatch."
290
00:09:02,713 --> 00:09:03,973
- Don't what?
291
00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:07,107
- "Don't eat your chickens
before they hatch."
292
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:07,967
- Ricky, it's, "Don't
count your chickens."
293
00:09:08,017 --> 00:09:10,057
- Count your chickens.
294
00:09:10,104 --> 00:09:11,844
- Of course you don't eat
them before they hatch.
295
00:09:11,887 --> 00:09:13,277
You'd be just eating
a fucking...
296
00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:14,621
... a raw egg.
297
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:17,934
"Don't count them,"
means don't...
298
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,984
... don't like get too
far ahead of yourself.
299
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,718
It means, "Don't get,
you know...
300
00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:25,676
... how do you fucking
even explain this?
301
00:09:25,713 --> 00:09:27,453
Ricky, look, you just
want to say something.
302
00:09:27,496 --> 00:09:30,016
- Don't expect something to
happen because it might not.
303
00:09:30,061 --> 00:09:30,461
- Okay. Well, I...
304
00:09:30,496 --> 00:09:31,796
- Yes.
305
00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:32,843
- Yeah, I don't know if
I'm gonna fucking win
306
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:34,977
the lottery. Got all
kinds of tickets.
307
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,228
Well, don't count
your chickens...
308
00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:37,369
- If you want to come up
with something, Ricky,
309
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,059
you just have to think of
something that's
310
00:09:39,105 --> 00:09:41,055
universally applicable.
311
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,015
- Okay, well, I came up
with a couple...
312
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,236
"If you play with guns,
you might get shot."
313
00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:48,499
What do you think of one?
314
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:51,020
- It's... similar to,
"If you play with fire,
315
00:09:51,062 --> 00:09:52,152
you might get burned..."
316
00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:53,713
- Okay.
317
00:09:53,757 --> 00:09:55,327
- ... which is a known one, so
you're kind of plagiarizing,
318
00:09:55,367 --> 00:09:56,677
but you're on the right track.
319
00:09:56,714 --> 00:09:58,634
- Well, that's just a
fact. That's not a saying.
320
00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:01,110
- This one... I'm still
working on it, but...
321
00:10:01,149 --> 00:10:05,069
"A joint an hour helps your
brain to get flowered."
322
00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:07,674
- Oh my fucking...
323
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,115
- It's... that's... that's
just for an attempt.
324
00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:11,929
- It's... it's pretty good.
I get what you're saying.
325
00:10:11,975 --> 00:10:13,195
"A joint..." but it's not...
326
00:10:13,236 --> 00:10:15,366
- But it doesn't mean
something else, does it?
327
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:16,230
It's fucking Jesus.
328
00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:20,628
- Hey, this is Bubbles.
Welcome to Kitty of the Week.
329
00:10:21,497 --> 00:10:23,017
[cats meowing]
330
00:10:23,063 --> 00:10:24,973
[cats purring]
331
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,450
- Come on, big Louis. Come on,
hop up.
332
00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:28,237
It's your turn. Come on.
333
00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:30,591
[cheerful music]
334
00:10:30,628 --> 00:10:33,108
This week's featured
Kitty of the Week...
335
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:36,980
... is this guy here. Big Louis.
[chuckle]
336
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,670
Big Louis El Grande, I call him.
337
00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:40,675
Come on up, Louis. Come on up.
338
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,405
Here. Let me get you up here.
339
00:10:43,281 --> 00:10:45,031
'Atta boy, he's a...
340
00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:47,376
... he's a big boy, Louis is.
341
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:49,982
Yeah, he's a...
342
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:52,150
... domestic, you know,
medium-long hair...
343
00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:55,064
... but I'm betting...
if I was a betting man,
344
00:10:55,108 --> 00:10:57,588
I'd say he's got some
Maine Coon in him.
345
00:10:57,629 --> 00:11:00,239
Maine Coon, he's
a...he's a big...
346
00:11:00,282 --> 00:11:02,332
... he's sort of king of
the kitties, as far as
347
00:11:02,368 --> 00:11:03,548
I'm concerned.
348
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,285
Now, when you're dealing
with big, you know,
349
00:11:05,325 --> 00:11:08,375
big kitties like this guy,
you know,
350
00:11:08,412 --> 00:11:11,412
you want to pull out
the big guns here, so...
351
00:11:11,456 --> 00:11:14,626
I mean, this is a...
this is a...
352
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,933
... crocheted worm I made.
353
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:17,977
Oh yeah.
354
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:20,590
Peek-a-boo.
355
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:24,851
Oh, you're right in my case now,
are you?
356
00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:26,461
That's okay. That's okay.
357
00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,199
You can poke around in there.
358
00:11:28,238 --> 00:11:29,668
Here, you might like that.
359
00:11:29,717 --> 00:11:30,497
[cat meows]
360
00:11:30,543 --> 00:11:31,633
It's alright.
361
00:11:33,065 --> 00:11:34,755
Here, let me just get
this guy out.
362
00:11:35,673 --> 00:11:37,973
You know, this is a...
363
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:40,374
... feather fisher, you know?
364
00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:42,723
Yeah, Big Louis is gonna
be all over this.
365
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,064
What do you think of that,
Louis?
366
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,633
Yeah, that's got your
attention, doesn't it?
367
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:49,854
[chuckle]
368
00:11:49,891 --> 00:11:53,071
Big Louis's gonna make
quick work of that.
369
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:54,979
He's a Bubble certified kitty.
370
00:11:56,239 --> 00:11:56,849
Had to bite a while...
371
00:11:56,892 --> 00:11:57,892
[chuckle]
372
00:11:57,935 --> 00:11:59,585
Oh, he almost got me
in the chops.
373
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:01,591
That was my own fault.
374
00:12:01,631 --> 00:12:05,031
Never dangle a fishing feather
in front of your own face.
375
00:12:05,066 --> 00:12:08,026
That was... amateur
move by me right there.
376
00:12:09,370 --> 00:12:10,370
[chuckle]
377
00:12:10,413 --> 00:12:12,673
So come on in...
that's Big Louis,
378
00:12:12,718 --> 00:12:14,808
certified Bubbles' kitty.
379
00:12:14,848 --> 00:12:16,718
Right there. Bubble certified.
380
00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:18,454
[Chuckle]
381
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:21,411
[cheerful music]
382
00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:22,198
[camera flash]
383
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,330
[pen writing]
384
00:12:23,371 --> 00:12:25,591
[cat meowing]
385
00:12:25,632 --> 00:12:28,642
[light piano music]
386
00:12:36,893 --> 00:12:38,583
- [Interviewer] Hey Rick,
what's going on, bud?
387
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,022
- Not too much.
388
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,807
- [Interviewer] Getting a
little bit of food, are you?
389
00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:42,979
- Yeah, I mean, it's good
that the crew's
390
00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:44,204
back now, finally get
some real food.
391
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,161
But they don't really
cook it enough, so...
392
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:46,418
- [Interviewer] No?
393
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:47,418
- ... sometimes you gotta
heat stuff up a bit,
394
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:48,378
get some cheese put on it,
but...
395
00:12:48,415 --> 00:12:49,675
- [Interviewer] Yeah?
396
00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:50,499
- I mean, you're only
supposed to have a couple
397
00:12:50,545 --> 00:12:51,985
pieces of this, but...
398
00:12:52,024 --> 00:12:52,814
- [Interviewer] Yeah, right?
399
00:12:52,849 --> 00:12:53,719
[torch igniting]
400
00:12:53,762 --> 00:12:55,032
How's it been going on set, bud?
401
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,287
[torch igniting]
402
00:12:56,328 --> 00:12:57,158
- It's been going good,
you know, not enough
403
00:12:57,198 --> 00:12:57,898
free cigarettes and...
404
00:12:57,936 --> 00:12:59,156
[torch igniting]
405
00:12:59,198 --> 00:13:00,328
... I've been kind of
tight with the liquor
406
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:01,332
and the beer, but...
407
00:13:01,372 --> 00:13:03,202
[torch igniting]
408
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,501
- [Interviewer] How
was... how was last week
409
00:13:05,546 --> 00:13:07,106
on set with Snoop?
410
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,284
- Last week was pretty crazy.
Snoop was here and you know,
411
00:13:10,328 --> 00:13:13,078
I didn't really know what to
expect. I thought, you know,
412
00:13:13,112 --> 00:13:14,372
based on everything you
hear about him, that he
413
00:13:14,415 --> 00:13:16,455
could probably smoke a
fair bit and I could smoke
414
00:13:16,502 --> 00:13:18,552
a fair bit. And anyway, I
just thought he'd be able
415
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,029
to smoke a lot more.
416
00:13:20,068 --> 00:13:21,208
[torch igniting]
417
00:13:21,242 --> 00:13:22,632
We kind of went toe to toe.
418
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:24,426
I smoked him over the
table, between me and you.
419
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,460
And I mean, he wasn't really...
420
00:13:25,503 --> 00:13:26,943
[torch igniting]
421
00:13:26,981 --> 00:13:29,161
...that big of a smoker at
all. He can smoke, but I mean,
422
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:31,729
he couldn't really smoke any
better than anyone else I know.
423
00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:33,813
And I mean, when it comes
to me, I can smoke... a lot.
424
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:34,890
I've been smoking my whole life.
425
00:13:34,937 --> 00:13:37,197
[torch igniting]
426
00:13:37,242 --> 00:13:39,072
You know, he tried to keep
up. He's like, "Oh yeah,"
427
00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:40,892
you know, "I'll try to
keep up with you, Ricky."
428
00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:42,158
[torch igniting]
429
00:13:42,199 --> 00:13:43,019
Anyway...
430
00:13:43,895 --> 00:13:45,295
... he was no match for me.
431
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,942
- It's no match for you, huh?
432
00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:49,382
- Hey boys, what's up?
433
00:13:49,416 --> 00:13:50,766
- What are you doing, Ricky?
434
00:13:50,808 --> 00:13:53,118
- Just making a little...
meat log sandwich.
435
00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:54,506
- [Bubbles] What
were you just...
436
00:13:54,547 --> 00:13:57,507
- Sushi Bob, they call it.
It's from... Japanland.
437
00:13:57,547 --> 00:13:58,767
- [Interviewer] So you can...
438
00:13:58,808 --> 00:14:01,898
- What were you just
saying there about Snoop?
439
00:14:01,938 --> 00:14:03,418
- We were just talking
about different...
440
00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:05,421
... foods and things that
he liked to eat
441
00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:06,241
and things I liked to eat...
442
00:14:06,287 --> 00:14:07,587
[torch igniting]
443
00:14:07,635 --> 00:14:09,725
- What were you guys up to?
444
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:10,635
- What were you saying about...
445
00:14:10,678 --> 00:14:11,768
... him smoking, though?
446
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,722
- Nothing, we... we did
smoke together.
447
00:14:14,765 --> 00:14:15,945
[torch igniting]
448
00:14:15,983 --> 00:14:17,113
- [Julian] You said you
could smoke a lot
449
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:18,066
more than Snoop.
450
00:14:18,114 --> 00:14:18,454
[torch igniting]
451
00:14:18,504 --> 00:14:19,324
- Well...
452
00:14:19,374 --> 00:14:20,854
- [Bubbles] Did you say that?
453
00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:23,636
- I smoked more... often than
him. And maybe I smoked...
454
00:14:23,678 --> 00:14:25,028
- [Julian] Oh no, you
didn't...what do you mean?
455
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,720
He was baked the entire
time he was here.
456
00:14:27,765 --> 00:14:28,455
- I know, but...
457
00:14:28,504 --> 00:14:29,764
- [Julian] And you...
458
00:14:29,809 --> 00:14:31,339
... you can smoke a lot
more than him, right?
459
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,595
- How do you come to
that conclusion?
460
00:14:33,635 --> 00:14:35,425
- Just, I don't know.
Just seemed like he was a
461
00:14:35,462 --> 00:14:37,462
pretty good smoker and
he... smoked fair...
462
00:14:37,505 --> 00:14:39,245
... I think I smoked more
than him and more often.
463
00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:40,638
- You didn't smoke
more than him.
464
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:41,679
Are you fucking kidding me?
465
00:14:41,723 --> 00:14:43,283
- Why would you think that,
Ricky?
466
00:14:43,331 --> 00:14:44,071
- Well, a lot of people
have been saying it.
467
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:44,944
[torch igniting]
468
00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:45,763
- Who?
469
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:47,200
[torch igniting]
470
00:14:47,244 --> 00:14:48,554
- Jeff.
471
00:14:48,592 --> 00:14:50,162
- Jeff. who the fuck is Jeff?
472
00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:51,341
- Who's Jeff.
473
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,075
- He's up... 28 or 24.
474
00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:54,115
He just moved in here not
that long ago.
475
00:14:54,158 --> 00:14:56,118
- That's Donny's trailer.
Who's Jeff?
476
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:57,418
- No, down that way is
what he said.
477
00:14:57,462 --> 00:14:59,202
Jeff or... Dean, I think.
478
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:02,945
- Dean? Who the fuck...?
Rick, you were smoking...
479
00:15:02,984 --> 00:15:05,164
... [Julian] he was walking
like fucking Johnny Depp
480
00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:07,202
in Fear and Loathing.
481
00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:08,425
His soup was like falling,
he was like, "Hey..."
482
00:15:08,463 --> 00:15:09,683
- One day...
483
00:15:09,723 --> 00:15:11,023
... there was one day that
I may have been
484
00:15:11,071 --> 00:15:12,381
a little more fucked
up than he was,
485
00:15:12,419 --> 00:15:14,119
and that's 'cause I didn't
really have much sleep.
486
00:15:14,158 --> 00:15:14,818
- Snoop looked like he...
487
00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:16,163
- Do you want a bite?
488
00:15:16,202 --> 00:15:18,162
- I'm not taking a bite
off that old fucking...
489
00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:19,332
- Look how fucking
good that looks.
490
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,376
Put that on a bun...
491
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:23,981
- [Bubbles] I'm just
curious as to, you know,
492
00:15:24,029 --> 00:15:26,689
how you would explain to
the camera that
493
00:15:26,724 --> 00:15:28,904
you can smoke more
than Snoop Dogg.
494
00:15:28,941 --> 00:15:30,771
- Well, just depends how
you look at it.
495
00:15:30,811 --> 00:15:32,511
Some people would
look at that...
496
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:35,470
... smoking time and say,
"Yes, you know what, Ricky?
497
00:15:35,506 --> 00:15:37,116
He was good, but not
as good as you.
498
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:38,639
And he smoked a lot,
but not as much as you,"
499
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,120
is what a lot of people would
probably say if they were...
500
00:15:40,159 --> 00:15:43,119
- A lot of people, like
imaginary Jeff and his friend,
501
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,509
imaginary Dean.
502
00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:47,161
- They were here, boys.
They were fucking here.
503
00:15:47,203 --> 00:15:47,813
- [Julian] Ricky, you're
so full of shit.
504
00:15:47,854 --> 00:15:48,944
- [Bubbles] Ricky...
505
00:15:48,985 --> 00:15:50,245
- You know what? Let's
be honest boys.
506
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:51,640
Not everybody sees
everything the same way,
507
00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:53,081
alright? So, I mean...
508
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:55,766
- No, I know, but Ricky, you
can have your own opinion,
509
00:15:55,812 --> 00:15:58,162
but you can't have your own
facts. Facts are facts, bud.
510
00:15:58,203 --> 00:15:59,683
- That's right.
511
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,805
- Well, it depends though,
isn't it? 'Cause it depends...
512
00:16:01,855 --> 00:16:02,635
... I look at it and said,
"You know what?
513
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:04,081
I smoked him under the table."
514
00:16:04,117 --> 00:16:06,987
He didn't really smoke that
much at all. And I did.
515
00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:09,680
- Ricky, you seemed unaffected
and you couldn't walk.
516
00:16:09,725 --> 00:16:10,895
So who do you think...?
517
00:16:10,942 --> 00:16:12,082
- One day, one fucking
day I couldn't walk.
518
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:12,947
- [Julian] ... every
fucking day.
519
00:16:12,986 --> 00:16:14,336
- [Bubbles] Every day.
520
00:16:14,378 --> 00:16:16,338
- Okay, well he.... smoked
almost as much as he did,
521
00:16:16,378 --> 00:16:17,388
didn't I?
522
00:16:17,421 --> 00:16:19,771
- Not even... man.
Not even close.
523
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,384
- Ricky...
524
00:16:21,421 --> 00:16:22,731
- Alright, you know what, boys?
Fuck it.
525
00:16:22,769 --> 00:16:24,209
He can out smoke me. He
out smoked me, is that
526
00:16:24,247 --> 00:16:25,467
what you want me to
say on camera?
527
00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:26,558
Alright, he fucking
out smoked me big time.
528
00:16:26,595 --> 00:16:27,685
I was falling down.
529
00:16:27,726 --> 00:16:29,686
He smoked joints fucking
24 hours a day,
530
00:16:29,726 --> 00:16:32,596
fucking five or 10 every
fucking two minutes.
531
00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:33,729
I couldn't keep up with him.
I tried,
532
00:16:33,769 --> 00:16:34,899
I couldn't fucking do it.
533
00:16:34,943 --> 00:16:35,723
Is that what you want you
want me to say?
534
00:16:35,769 --> 00:16:37,729
- Just... just calm down.
535
00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:38,849
- You did okay, man.
536
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:39,460
- I tried, I tried to
keep up with him.
537
00:16:39,508 --> 00:16:40,548
- You did try...
538
00:16:40,595 --> 00:16:41,935
- Nobody could keep up
with that man.
539
00:16:41,987 --> 00:16:43,767
I could smoke more dope
than anyone I've ever met.
540
00:16:43,813 --> 00:16:45,723
And I'm nothing compared to him.
Fuck.
541
00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:48,259
- Ricky, you don't gotta
be... it's Snoop Dogg.
542
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:50,382
You don't gotta be upset
about it. He's like a...
543
00:16:50,422 --> 00:16:51,942
... he's like a... you know...
544
00:16:51,987 --> 00:16:54,507
- Now I'm not even hungry. Do
you want this fucking thing?
545
00:16:55,987 --> 00:16:57,297
- [Bubbles] Alright..
546
00:16:57,335 --> 00:16:59,035
- [Ricky] Fuck sakes.
547
00:16:59,074 --> 00:17:00,994
- You don't mind if I
eat that on you?
548
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,602
I don't know. What's the big
square one in the middle?
549
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,390
- How does he smoke so much?
550
00:17:07,422 --> 00:17:11,072
- He's not... he's not normal,
Ricky. I mean, he just...
551
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,079
... he just can smoke more
than anybody, that's all.
552
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,169
- [Ricky] I mean, I smoke 40,
50 joints in a day sometimes,
553
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:18,296
and it was nothing,
like... he smokes 40...
554
00:17:18,336 --> 00:17:19,866
- [Bubbles] Don't be sad, Ricky.
555
00:17:19,901 --> 00:17:22,081
- Don't be sad. You can smoke
almost as much as him, man.
556
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:22,859
- Almost as much.
557
00:17:22,901 --> 00:17:23,691
- He's having an off week.
558
00:17:23,727 --> 00:17:24,947
- I'm not sad, it's just...
559
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:26,818
I've never met anybody
with lungs like that.
560
00:17:26,857 --> 00:17:28,127
- But think how cool
it is you can say that?
561
00:17:28,162 --> 00:17:30,252
"Oh, I got out smoked
by Snoop Dogg."
562
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:31,163
- It's not cool, 'cause I
wanted to be the guy that
563
00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,206
can out smoke anybody and...
564
00:17:32,249 --> 00:17:33,469
- [Julian] Ricky, we're tired,
man.
565
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,900
Don't worry about it.
You'll get it next time.
566
00:17:34,944 --> 00:17:36,204
- [Bubbles] Oh, I think
you'd take him if it was...
567
00:17:36,249 --> 00:17:38,649
...and it was weed, Ricky.
I bet you, if it was
568
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:39,814
straight up hash, I bet
you, you could take him.
569
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,158
- Who knows?
570
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:42,676
- [Julian] Maybe you can
have a hash off next time?
571
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,038
- If it was hash, I'd definitely
smoke him over the table.
572
00:17:45,076 --> 00:17:45,946
- There you go.
573
00:17:45,989 --> 00:17:46,859
- No fucking question, exactly.
574
00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:47,772
- There you go, you can...
575
00:17:47,815 --> 00:17:49,035
Here, you eat that, now.
576
00:17:49,076 --> 00:17:49,946
There you go.
577
00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:50,989
- Alright.
578
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,033
- Alright, boys.
579
00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:55,166
- Alright, man. Take 'er easy,
bud.
580
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,247
- I got a good haul over here,
Ricky.
581
00:17:57,294 --> 00:17:59,594
- [Speaker 1] Please
leave her belly.
582
00:17:59,642 --> 00:18:01,292
- Out smoked Snoop.
583
00:18:01,337 --> 00:18:02,077
- He's so fucked.
584
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,295
[light piano music]
585
00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:08,037
- Today we're visiting the
islands of Trinidad and Tobago
586
00:18:08,076 --> 00:18:08,996
and we're doing...
587
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,073
... a story about the limbo.
588
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,160
Now, this guy here is a
conga bonker.
589
00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:14,947
They got those tin...
steel drums,
590
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:15,510
the ring-y, ding-y, ding,
like...
591
00:18:15,555 --> 00:18:16,775
[maraca shakes]
592
00:18:16,816 --> 00:18:19,126
♪ Down the way where the
nights are gay, ♪
593
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,124
♪ and the sun shines..." ♪
594
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:21,344
Oh, I've got to do this.
595
00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:23,342
♪ Daily on the mountain tops, ♪
596
00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:24,601
[maraca shakes]
597
00:18:24,642 --> 00:18:26,562
♪ I took a trip on that
sailing ship, ♪
598
00:18:26,598 --> 00:18:29,648
♪ and when I reached
Jamaica, I made a stop. ♪
599
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:32,905
Unless, it was not
Jamaica... this is Randy.
600
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,376
This is Randy Bo Bandi's
little hat for his peacocks.
601
00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:39,775
I borrowed it for today for
his special celebration because
602
00:18:39,817 --> 00:18:42,517
we are talking about the
most exciting...
603
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:45,566
... incredible sipping rum
the world has ever known.
604
00:18:46,512 --> 00:18:48,342
Angustura...
605
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:50,642
... aromatica was used...
606
00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:53,346
... in medical practice
by the surgeon general
607
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,042
for Simon Boulevard's
army way back in the 1800s
608
00:18:56,078 --> 00:18:57,728
and something.
609
00:18:57,773 --> 00:18:59,383
And it has come through...
610
00:18:59,426 --> 00:19:02,386
... unscathed today, 'cause
it's in... it's purity and
611
00:19:02,426 --> 00:19:04,256
it's wonderful taste.
612
00:19:04,296 --> 00:19:05,336
I'll tell you one thing.
613
00:19:05,383 --> 00:19:08,303
[light piano music]
614
00:19:11,557 --> 00:19:15,777
I am going to get really
fucking drunk tonight.
615
00:19:15,818 --> 00:19:18,648
You know why? 'Cause tonight,
Randy and I,
616
00:19:18,687 --> 00:19:21,557
we're gonna be going to the
Blandford Recreation Centre
617
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,690
to introduce our new
bubble wrap song.
618
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,341
We're gonna take the world
by storm. Check it out.
619
00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:31,389
♪ Oh, do the bubble wrap,
with the... ♪
620
00:19:31,426 --> 00:19:32,606
♪ Snap, snap... ♪
621
00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:34,034
♪ Snap. ♪
622
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:37,389
♪ I might be white, but
I got the black knack, ♪
623
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,337
♪ With the... boom
chick chick boom. ♪
624
00:19:39,384 --> 00:19:40,474
♪ Boom chick chick boom. ♪
625
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,644
It's incredible. Ladies
and gentlemen,
626
00:19:42,688 --> 00:19:45,918
we are gonna take the world...
you saw it here first.
627
00:19:45,948 --> 00:19:47,298
There's nothing like...
628
00:19:48,819 --> 00:19:50,169
Okay, back to our story.
629
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,390
[classical piano music]
630
00:19:51,427 --> 00:19:53,217
Where are my glasses?
631
00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:54,733
Oh...
632
00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:55,735
... excuse me.
633
00:19:56,993 --> 00:19:59,213
I'm getting a call from Dr.
Drunk as Fuck.
634
00:20:02,384 --> 00:20:03,514
Yeah, hello... doctor?
635
00:20:04,862 --> 00:20:06,562
Yeah, I did.
636
00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:09,821
Yeah. How did... how did...
how did the proctology go?
637
00:20:09,862 --> 00:20:11,382
No.
638
00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:13,518
No, I haven't found any
rubber gloves.
639
00:20:14,515 --> 00:20:16,085
Okay, thanks.
640
00:20:16,124 --> 00:20:17,994
Y'all watch the boat.
641
00:20:18,037 --> 00:20:18,597
Bye Doc.
642
00:20:19,211 --> 00:20:20,561
Where were we?
643
00:20:20,602 --> 00:20:23,032
Oh yeah, Randy won the
limbo contest. The guys were
644
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,640
really fucking bugging
him 'cause he had a...
645
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:28,339
because they put a bar across
a thing like this and Randy
646
00:20:28,385 --> 00:20:30,735
was going down like this
underneath the limbo thing.
647
00:20:30,776 --> 00:20:32,086
And he got right the
fuck under...
648
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:34,735
... slithered under
like a shit snake.
649
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,916
And he won the goddamn contest
650
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:40,040
and we won a whole
fucking case of this shit.
651
00:20:40,081 --> 00:20:43,701
That was the only night that I
remember that Randy could get
652
00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:46,043
both ankles behind his back...
653
00:20:46,081 --> 00:20:47,651
... at once.
654
00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:51,169
[classical piano music]
655
00:20:51,212 --> 00:20:54,472
Tune in soon for another
[indistinct] liquor story with
656
00:20:54,516 --> 00:20:55,956
your host, Jim Lahey.
657
00:20:55,994 --> 00:20:57,394
[classical piano music]
658
00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:59,469
- You have fucking heard of
the Easter bunny, I hope.
659
00:20:59,516 --> 00:21:01,076
- [Julian] You gotta be
kidding me, Rick.
660
00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:02,475
- On what?
661
00:21:02,516 --> 00:21:03,346
- You are so stupid.
662
00:21:03,386 --> 00:21:04,866
- Are you fucking kidding me?
663
00:21:04,908 --> 00:21:05,918
Alright, Santa Claus
is one thing,
664
00:21:05,951 --> 00:21:07,431
but the fucking Easter bunny?
665
00:21:09,213 --> 00:21:10,693
- So when you...
666
00:21:10,734 --> 00:21:14,214
... got growed up, you never
had a fucking egg hunt or...
667
00:21:14,256 --> 00:21:16,346
- [Julian] I've never
had an egg hunt, okay?
668
00:21:16,387 --> 00:21:18,567
- Well, lots of kids do. And
guess what? Where the fuck
669
00:21:18,603 --> 00:21:19,823
does that shit come from,
dumbass?
670
00:21:19,864 --> 00:21:21,164
- From their parents.
671
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,033
- [Ricky] Yeah right.
Fucking parents stay awake
672
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,342
late at night and... oh yeah,
okay.
673
00:21:25,387 --> 00:21:26,437
That's a fun, fun little...
674
00:21:26,474 --> 00:21:27,564
... thought you had there.
675
00:21:27,604 --> 00:21:28,304
- I can't believe that
you fucking think
676
00:21:28,343 --> 00:21:29,783
the Easter bunny is real.
677
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:32,092
- I just got a hash burn right
through the bunny's head.
678
00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:33,426
- You know what? I thought he...
679
00:21:33,474 --> 00:21:37,044
... I thought you were
smarter than him, Ricky...
680
00:21:37,082 --> 00:21:38,652
... but no. You're
dumber than Randy.
681
00:21:38,691 --> 00:21:40,081
You just proved it right there.
682
00:21:40,127 --> 00:21:41,347
Sorry, man.
683
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:43,167
- Oh, smarter dummy than
him, that's for sure.
684
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:45,644
What do you think?
685
00:21:45,691 --> 00:21:46,691
- You're a smarter
dummy than me?
686
00:21:46,735 --> 00:21:48,175
- Do you believe in anything?
687
00:21:48,214 --> 00:21:49,694
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
688
00:21:49,735 --> 00:21:50,515
What do you think, Julian?
689
00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:51,521
- You're not smarter than me.
690
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,871
What do you believe in,
anything?
691
00:21:52,909 --> 00:21:54,039
- There's no such thing
as the Easter bunny, man.
692
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,953
- [Ricky] You just
believe in fucking...
693
00:21:57,214 --> 00:21:59,264
.. whiskey and coke?
Or rum and coke or...?
694
00:21:59,301 --> 00:22:00,781
- Maybe.
695
00:22:00,822 --> 00:22:01,822
- [Ricky] That's your...
that's your God?
696
00:22:01,865 --> 00:22:02,825
- It makes sense.
697
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,035
No, it's not my God.
698
00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:07,253
You guys are both fucked.
699
00:22:07,301 --> 00:22:09,001
- I was hoping you guys
would be as fucked as I am
700
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,950
'cause right now you're
smoking an ear joint.
701
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:12,777
- [Randy] No, no that joint's
from the [indistinct] crew,
702
00:22:12,823 --> 00:22:14,123
they... they know their shit.
703
00:22:14,171 --> 00:22:16,221
- [Ricky] Then it got
mixed with fucking oils and
704
00:22:16,257 --> 00:22:17,347
stink from behind your ear...
705
00:22:17,388 --> 00:22:20,428
... waxes and different hairs.
706
00:22:20,475 --> 00:22:21,295
- This one?
707
00:22:21,345 --> 00:22:22,165
- Shellacs.
708
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:23,295
- Are you fucking kidding me?
709
00:22:23,345 --> 00:22:24,125
- No, I don't want that
fucking thing.
710
00:22:24,171 --> 00:22:24,611
- It tastes fine, Julian.
711
00:22:26,215 --> 00:22:28,265
- You guys smoke it halfway.
That'll kill everything that's
712
00:22:28,302 --> 00:22:30,822
on it and in it and then
I'll... maybe have a drag.
713
00:22:33,606 --> 00:22:35,566
- Alright. Burgers, aliens,
Easter bunnies and...
714
00:22:35,606 --> 00:22:36,566
... handsome prime ministers.
715
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:37,606
What a fucking day
this has been.
716
00:22:37,650 --> 00:22:39,170
- [Julian] It's been a
great podcast.
717
00:22:39,215 --> 00:22:40,875
- [Randy] And then I thought
we could open up, you know,
718
00:22:40,911 --> 00:22:42,041
questions from the audience.
719
00:22:42,084 --> 00:22:43,604
- There is no fucking audience.
720
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:44,960
- All your stories are shit...
721
00:22:44,998 --> 00:22:46,348
- [Ricky] He could probably
use his machine there
722
00:22:46,389 --> 00:22:48,309
and pull up 10 fucking
things right now that would
723
00:22:48,345 --> 00:22:49,525
blow your shit of the water.
724
00:22:49,563 --> 00:22:50,823
- [Julian] And I could,
but guess what?
725
00:22:50,867 --> 00:22:52,347
It's time to go, so I'm
not going to.
726
00:22:52,389 --> 00:22:54,169
- It's seriously time to go?
727
00:22:54,216 --> 00:22:54,826
- Yeah.
728
00:22:54,867 --> 00:22:55,387
- Yeah.
729
00:22:55,432 --> 00:22:56,302
- Are you sure?
730
00:22:56,346 --> 00:22:57,526
- I'm done. We're at 30 minutes.
731
00:22:57,563 --> 00:22:59,743
I'm getting the fuck
outta here. He stinks.
732
00:22:59,780 --> 00:23:01,080
He's stupid.
733
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,089
You're not that smart, Ricky,
as well.
734
00:23:02,129 --> 00:23:03,219
You proved it. I'm outta here.
735
00:23:03,259 --> 00:23:04,259
- [Randy] Well, Julian...
where's the...
736
00:23:04,303 --> 00:23:06,043
What the fuck are you doing,
Ricky?
737
00:23:07,477 --> 00:23:08,787
- I was trying to take
this thing off
738
00:23:08,824 --> 00:23:10,004
so I could fucking fight you.
739
00:23:10,042 --> 00:23:11,782
- [Randy] You are so
fucking stupid.
740
00:23:12,651 --> 00:23:13,911
Fuck, you are dumb.
741
00:23:13,954 --> 00:23:16,174
Alright, are the cameras
off, for fuck sakes?
742
00:23:16,216 --> 00:23:17,436
- Yeah, I don't wanna
fight you on camera,
743
00:23:17,477 --> 00:23:18,957
'cause I don't want to
fucking embarrass you.
744
00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:19,909
- Alright, fight, boys.
745
00:23:19,955 --> 00:23:21,265
Beat the shit out of him.
746
00:23:21,303 --> 00:23:22,093
- Ricky.
747
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:23,650
Frig off, Ricky.
748
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,954
[table scraping floor]
749
00:23:25,999 --> 00:23:29,349
[chair falls onto floor]
750
00:23:34,086 --> 00:23:35,566
[gasping for air]
751
00:23:35,607 --> 00:23:38,217
[soft piano music]
752
00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:39,040
- Ricky...
753
00:23:40,825 --> 00:23:41,655
[bag crunching]
754
00:23:41,695 --> 00:23:44,135
That's my food, Ricky.
755
00:23:44,173 --> 00:23:45,263
[bottles knocking over]
756
00:23:45,304 --> 00:23:48,174
[soft piano music]
757
00:23:55,913 --> 00:23:58,693
[seagulls cawing]
758
00:23:59,956 --> 00:24:02,096
[water splashing]
759
00:24:02,131 --> 00:24:06,961
- [Crowd] Fuck. Oh fuck.
Fuck. Oh fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.
760
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,050
Jesus Christ.
761
00:24:09,454 --> 00:24:12,374
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck.
762
00:24:14,442 --> 00:24:15,262
Fuck aw.
763
00:24:15,312 --> 00:24:19,862
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