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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,210 (I got to go.) 2 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,870 (I got to go.) 3 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,572 (I got to catch a plane.) 4 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,590 Two solid hours of staring at material 5 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:11,425 to decide to reconvene after the holidays for a fresh look at the lab. 6 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:14,058 They're selling cosmetics, not curing cancer. 7 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,103 Why aren't you going to the airport? 8 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,831 What's the point of busting my ass to catch the 6 o'clock flight? 9 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,331 Why don't you wait and go out with me on the 8? 10 00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,031 You'll never gonna get a cab at this hour. 11 00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:23,742 I told Susan I'd be home by 9:00. 12 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,038 That's you. 13 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:29,348 Oh, damn it. I left my gloves in Brian's office. 14 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,551 I don't need them. I get in the elevator, I get on a taxi, I get on a plane and I'm home. 15 00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,952 Would you pick them up for me? I'll drive over tomorrow and get them. 16 00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,546 Have a good holiday. 17 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,057 I'll see you in Chicago, John. 18 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:41,025 You'll never make the 6. 19 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,553 Taxi! 20 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,590 Cab! Cab! 21 00:04:27,599 --> 00:04:28,328 Sir? 22 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,536 Sir, sir. Excuse me. 23 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,539 I know this is your cab, but I am desperately late for a plane and I was wondering 24 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,973 if I could I appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it. 25 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:40,012 I don't have a good nature. Excuse me. 26 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,341 Come on! 27 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:44,042 Could I offer you $10 for it? 28 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,982 20. I'll give you $20 for it. 29 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,713 I'll take 50. 30 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,979 All right. 31 00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:53,025 Anyone who would pay $50 for a cab... 32 00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,151 would certainly pay $75. 33 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,287 Not necessarily. 34 00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,264 All right, 75. 35 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,595 You're a thief. 36 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,431 Close. I'm an attorney. 37 00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,566 Have a happy holiday. 38 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,971 This will help. 39 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,876 Hey! Hey! 40 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,116 Hey! Hey, that's my cab! 41 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,619 That's my cab! 42 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,387 Pull over! Pull over! 43 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,855 All right! Pull over! 44 00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,222 That's my cab! 45 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:28,726 Pull over, buddy! 46 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,029 You're messing with the wrong guy! 47 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,964 All right, you son of a bitch. This is my cab! Out! 48 00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:01,152 Excuse me. 49 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,062 Excuse me. 50 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,222 Excuse me. 51 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:10,894 Excuse me. 52 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:17,540 Your attention please. Your attention please. 53 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:22,175 Mid-Central flight 909 to Chicago O'hare has been delayed. 54 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:24,614 All passengers wishing further information, 55 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,675 please contact the ticket agent. 56 00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,550 When are Grandma and Grandpa 57 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,384 and Grandma and Grandpa gonna come? 58 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,185 They're gonna be here tomorrow, honey. 59 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,850 - Mom? - Yeah. 60 00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:37,191 Do you think Grandpa Walt's gonna give me a noogie? 61 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,695 Of course he's gonna give you a noogie. He loves to give you noogies. 62 00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,496 That's how he tells you that he loves you. 63 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,262 Why doesn't he give me noogies? 64 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,304 Because you get Indian burns. 65 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,703 But I prefer noogies. 66 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,809 Keep an eye on your brother. 67 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:54,947 Hello. 68 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:56,447 Who is it? 69 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:57,949 Where are you? 70 00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,541 Who is it? 71 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,280 It's Daddy. 72 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,412 Flight delay. 73 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,786 When do you think you'll be in? 74 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,552 Shouldn't be any later than 10. 75 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,594 I'll wait up for you. 76 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,630 I know you, don't I? 77 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,432 I'm usually very good with names, 78 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:49,167 but I'll be damned if I haven't forgotten yours. 79 00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:51,499 You stole my cab. 80 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,640 I've never stolen anything in my life. 81 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,643 I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon, 82 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,578 and before I could get in it, you stole it. 83 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,753 You're the guy who tried to get my cab. 84 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,254 I knew I knew you. Yeah. 85 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,058 You scared the bejesus out of me. 86 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,160 Come to think of it, It was awful easy to get a cab during rush hour. 87 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,926 Forget it. 88 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,993 I can't forget it. 89 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,504 I am sorry. 90 00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:29,336 I had no idea that was your cab. 91 00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:32,275 Let me make it up to you somehow, huh, please? 92 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,280 How about a nice hot dog and a beer? 93 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,872 No, thanks. 94 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,780 Just a hot dog, then. 95 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,285 I'm kind of picky about what I eat. 96 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,446 Some coffee. 97 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,489 No. 98 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:44,454 - Milk? - No. 99 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,216 - Soda? - No. 100 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,225 - Some tea? - No. 101 00:08:46,291 --> 00:08:47,525 - Lifesavers? - No. 102 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,661 - Slurpee? - Sir, please. 103 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,289 Just let me know. I'm here. 104 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,299 I knew I knew you. 105 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:59,335 This is something you should have discussed with the ticket agent. 106 00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:02,303 I couldn't discuss it with the ticket agent, because I didn't know he put me in coach. 107 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,969 I'm sorry. I can't help you. First class is full. 108 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,376 I have a first class ticket. 109 00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:09,971 You have a coach seat assignment. 110 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,380 Hi, Larry. 111 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,382 Hi, Liz. 112 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,387 Here okay? How about over there? 113 00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:18,389 Oh, here, there. Anywhere's fine. 114 00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:19,549 Pardon me. 115 00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:26,454 Save your boarding pass and you'll get a refund on the difference. 116 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:29,399 I don't want a refund. I want a seat in first class, 117 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:32,294 where I was booked and ticketed over a month ago. 118 00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:34,699 Look, I've had just about enough of you. 119 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,207 Now take your seat. 120 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,409 Oh, you've had about enough of me? 121 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,044 First you delay me, then you bump me. 122 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:42,703 I can't wait to see what happens next? 123 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,512 Is this a coincidence or what? 124 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,143 Have a seat. 125 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:10,441 I never did introduce myself. 126 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,942 Del Griffith. 127 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,444 American Light and Fixture, director of sales, 128 00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,447 shower curtain ring division. 129 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,045 I sell shower curtain rings. 130 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,952 Best in the world. 131 00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:27,458 And you are? 132 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,959 Neal Page. 133 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:32,289 Neal Page. Pleased to meet you, Neal Page. 134 00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:36,165 So what do you do for a living, Neal Page? 135 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,795 - Marketing. - Marketing? Super, super. 136 00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:41,972 Fabulous. Isn't that nice? 137 00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,475 Look, I don't want to be rude, but... 138 00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,103 I'm not much of a conversationalist, 139 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,277 and I'd pretty like to finish this article. 140 00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,082 A friend wrote it, so... 141 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,484 Don't let me stand in your way. Please, don't let me stand in your way. 142 00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:56,987 The last thing I want to be remembered is as an annoying blabbermouth. 143 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,058 You know, nothing grinds my gears worse than some chowderhead, 144 00:11:02,088 --> 00:11:04,558 who doesn't know when to keep his big trap shut. 145 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:08,799 You catch me running off at the mouth, just give me a poke at the chops. 146 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,435 Oh, that feels good. 147 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,447 Oh, God, I'm telling you. 148 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,506 My dogs are barking today. 149 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,291 That feels better. 150 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:05,422 Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago. 151 00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:25,442 - Hello. - Hi. 152 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:26,978 Where are you? 153 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,445 I'm in Wichita. 154 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,446 Wichita, Kansas? 155 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,881 Are you all right? What happened? 156 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,185 We couldn't land in Chicago. 157 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:39,390 I don't understand what Wichita has to do with a snowstorm in Chicago? 158 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:41,426 What's going on, Neal? 159 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,694 What's going on, is I am in Wichita. 160 00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:46,523 We took off from New York, they closed Chicago, and we landed here. 161 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,900 Neal. 162 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:56,566 Trouble on the home front? 163 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,941 I really don't think that's any of your concern. 164 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:02,845 You knowm the finest line a man will walk 165 00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,850 is between success at work and success at home. 166 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:09,513 I got a motto: "Like your work, love your wife." 167 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,852 Well, I'll remember that. 168 00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,688 What's the flight situation? 169 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,852 Simple. 170 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,863 There's no way on earth we're gonna get out of here tonight. 171 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:22,000 We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt cheeks. 172 00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,367 than we have of getting a flight out of here before daybreak. 173 00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:26,369 I guess we'll find out soon enough. 174 00:13:26,437 --> 00:13:28,497 By the time the airline cancels this flight, 175 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,007 which they will sooner or later, 176 00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,772 you'd have more of a better chance to find a three-legged ballerina 177 00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:34,370 than you would a hotel room. 178 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,642 You're saying I could be stuck in Wichita? 179 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,014 I'm saying you are stuck in Wichita. 180 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,048 Ladies and gentlemen, 181 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,557 may I have your attention, please.? 182 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,058 I'm sorry to announce 183 00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,061 that we're canceling flight 909 184 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,757 due to severe weather in Chicago. 185 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:57,431 Hi, I was wondering if you had any rooms available for tonight? 186 00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,202 Anything. Anything will do. 187 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:00,397 - No, I'm sorry. - All right. 188 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,837 Do you know of any other motel... 189 00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:09,846 Neal. 190 00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:12,811 Hi. 191 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,352 Well? 192 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,753 Welcome to Wichita. 193 00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,348 Did you book a room yet? 194 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,020 I couldn't get in anywhere. 195 00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:25,959 As soon as we got off the plane, you called home, 196 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,228 I called the Braidwood Inn. 197 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,130 I missed that one. 198 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,691 I got an idea. 199 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,502 I know the manager pretty well. I sold him some rings for his curtains. 200 00:14:34,271 --> 00:14:35,240 If you want to pick up the cab fare, 201 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:38,000 I'll make sure you get a room for the night. 202 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:47,578 - Yeah. Yeah, sure. Great. - All right. 203 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:51,417 Grab an end of this thing, will you? Thanks, thanks a lot. 204 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,351 This your trunk? 205 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,999 Yeah. You should try lugging this thing around New York City. 206 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:29,660 Where the hell is the motel? 207 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,623 Doobie, is it much farther? 208 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:34,896 Not much. 209 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,367 Why didn't you take the interstate? 210 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,870 You said your friend has never been here, 211 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,840 so I figured he'd like to look around. 212 00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:45,776 There's nothing on the interstate, but interstate. 213 00:15:45,794 --> 00:15:47,435 It's the middle of the night. 214 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,380 I know, I know, but he's proud of his town. 215 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,917 You know, that's a rare damn thing these days. 216 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,534 Take care of the luggage, will you, Doobie? 217 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,335 Okay, Del. 218 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,330 Get off of me. 219 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,345 Stick with me. 220 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,688 Evening, Gus. 221 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,733 Del Griffith! How the hell are you? 222 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,001 Well, I'm still a million bucks shy of being a millionaire. 223 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,203 Gus, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Neal Page. 224 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:50,905 - Neal, Gus Mooney. - Glad to meet you, Nick. 225 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,005 Nice to meet you. 226 00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:55,945 Gus, I told my friend here you'd be able to fix him up with a room tonight. 227 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,378 Do you have a major credit card? 228 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,250 Do you still honor those discount credit cards for the rooms? 229 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,120 Well, I'll have to charge you for a double, 230 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,126 but with the discount, it'll come out even. 231 00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:09,326 Oh, there you go. That's pretty good. We're saving money already. 232 00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:11,162 We're a pretty good team. 233 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:14,531 We were on our way to Chicago from New York 234 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:16,032 and the storm brought us here. 235 00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:20,094 I know all about it. I must have half your flight booked in already. 236 00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:23,140 Well, I guess you're all fixed. 237 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,802 So... there you are. 238 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,078 Last room in the complex. 239 00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,814 You mean share? 240 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:34,000 - Hey, easy on that. - Okay. 241 00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:05,114 - Hell of a cab ride, wasn't it? - Yeah, yeah. It was a great cab ride. 242 00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:08,119 You don't see cabs like that too often, you know. 243 00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:18,329 - Want to take a shower? - No! 244 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,333 No, I meant, did you want to go first? 245 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,634 You thought... I wouldn't... 246 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,138 - What do you think I am? - Yeah, I know. 247 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,468 Gee, that's funny. That's funny. 248 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,759 Oh, come... come on. 249 00:20:26,257 --> 00:20:27,190 Excuse me. 250 00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:36,700 I'd switch pillows with you, but I'm allergic to sponge. 251 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,703 I've got a bad allergy to it. I'd be sneezing all night with that thing. 252 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:43,706 That's why I carry my own pillow. It's hypoallergenic. 253 00:20:51,882 --> 00:20:55,286 I had no idea those beer cans were gonna blow like that. 254 00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:59,789 You left them on a vibrating bed. What did you think was gonna happen? 255 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:03,225 It's been a long day. It just didn't occur to me. 256 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,533 It didn't occur to you, so I have to sleep in a puddle of beer. 257 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,233 You want to switch? 258 00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:11,860 No, I just want to sleep. 259 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:14,238 Me, too. I am bushed. 260 00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:15,739 Good night. 261 00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,240 Good night. 262 00:21:44,005 --> 00:21:46,169 She's sleeping in our house! 263 00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,269 I'll have to burn the sheets! 264 00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:50,977 What if it was one of your friends, huh? 265 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,777 What if the shoe was on the other foot? 266 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:54,607 I'd go barefoot! 267 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,000 Traffic is resuming at O'Hare field, 268 00:22:23,018 --> 00:22:25,071 and flights will be moving out of there very shortly. 269 00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,261 Sorry. 270 00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:00,840 Goddamn! 271 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,781 - What, what? - That's it! 272 00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:06,716 If I don't clear my sinuses, I'll snore all night. 273 00:23:07,785 --> 00:23:10,744 If your kid spills his milk, what do you do, slap him in the head? 274 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:13,256 What, what, what? What is that supposed to mean? 275 00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,793 You're not a very tolerant person. 276 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:18,295 Look, you've been under my skin since New York. 277 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,228 Starting with ripping off my cab. 278 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:21,925 God, you're a tight-ass. 279 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,798 How would you like a mouthful of teeth? 280 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:26,394 Oh, and hostile, too. 281 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:27,970 Nice personality combination. 282 00:23:27,999 --> 00:23:29,463 Hostile and intolerant. 283 00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:30,803 That's borderline criminal. 284 00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:31,900 Screw you! 285 00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:33,810 You spilled beer all over the bed, 286 00:23:33,877 --> 00:23:34,810 you smoke, 287 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,414 you mess up the bathroom... 288 00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:38,000 Who let you stay in the room? 289 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,217 I even let you pay for it, so you wouldn't feel like an intruder, 290 00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:42,081 which you most certainly are. 291 00:23:42,155 --> 00:23:44,087 - Oh, I'm an intruder? - Yes, you are an intruder. 292 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,681 I was having a prefectly nice trip, untill you walked into my life. 293 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:50,393 I walked into your life? Who was that who talked my ear off on the plane? 294 00:23:50,461 --> 00:23:51,695 Who was that? I'm curious. 295 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:55,324 Who told you to book a room? I did. Out of the goodness of my dumb old heart. 296 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,833 Boy, you are an ungrateful jackass. 297 00:23:58,002 --> 00:24:00,000 Well, go ahead, sleep in the lobby, see if I care. 298 00:24:00,103 --> 00:24:02,562 I hope you wake up so stiff, you can't even move. 299 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:06,769 You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room, 300 00:24:06,999 --> 00:24:09,780 and someone who'll listen to your boring stories. 301 00:24:09,848 --> 00:24:13,000 I mean, didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, 302 00:24:13,025 --> 00:24:16,000 eventualIy I started reading the vomit bag? 303 00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,322 Didn't that give you some sort of clue like, 304 00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,800 hey, maybe this guy's not enjoying it? 305 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,826 You know, everything's not an anecdote. 306 00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,384 You have to discriminate. 307 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,931 You choose things that are funny 308 00:24:26,998 --> 00:24:28,522 or mildly amusing 309 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,033 or interesting. 310 00:24:30,101 --> 00:24:31,227 You're a miracle. 311 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,863 Your stories have none of that. 312 00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:36,464 They're not even amusing accidentally. 313 00:24:37,641 --> 00:24:39,774 Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith. 314 00:24:39,803 --> 00:24:41,977 He's got some amusing anecdotes for you. 315 00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:45,573 Here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it. 316 00:24:47,685 --> 00:24:51,416 I could tolerate any insurance seminar. 317 00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:56,792 For days, I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. 318 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,654 They'd say: "How can you stand it?" 319 00:24:58,729 --> 00:25:01,963 And I'd say: "Cause I've been with Del Griffith. 320 00:25:02,033 --> 00:25:03,830 "I can take anything." 321 00:25:03,902 --> 00:25:05,836 You know what they'd say? They'd say: 322 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:07,838 "I know what you mean. 323 00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:09,897 "The shower curtain ring guy." 324 00:25:11,975 --> 00:25:15,212 It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. 325 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,149 I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, 326 00:25:18,176 --> 00:25:19,749 that I pull out and have to snap back. 327 00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:22,787 Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would. 328 00:25:25,957 --> 00:25:29,017 By the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories, 329 00:25:29,094 --> 00:25:30,755 here's a good idea. 330 00:25:30,829 --> 00:25:32,262 Have a point. 331 00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:35,265 It makes it so much more interesting for the listener. 332 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:51,000 You want to hurt me? 333 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:54,000 Go right ahead, if it makes you feel any better. 334 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,846 I'm an easy target. 335 00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,952 Yeah, you're right. 336 00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:01,788 I talk too much. 337 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:04,090 I also listen too much. 338 00:26:05,162 --> 00:26:08,758 I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you. 339 00:26:09,533 --> 00:26:11,825 But I don't like to hurt people's feelings. 340 00:26:13,703 --> 00:26:15,100 Well, you think what you want about me. 341 00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:16,640 I'm not changing. 342 00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:18,676 I like... I like me. 343 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,802 My wife likes me. 344 00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:23,006 My customers like me. 345 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,140 'Cause I'm the real article. 346 00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:28,044 What you see is what you get. 347 00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:48,117 Del. 348 00:28:48,193 --> 00:28:49,922 Hmm? Yeah. 349 00:28:49,994 --> 00:28:52,428 Why did you kiss my ear? 350 00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:56,660 Why are you holding my hand? 351 00:28:58,369 --> 00:29:00,269 Where's your other hand? 352 00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:02,169 Between two pillows. 353 00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:05,274 Those aren't pillows! 354 00:29:23,895 --> 00:29:26,929 - See that Bears' game last week? - Yeah, hell of game. Hell of a game. 355 00:29:26,952 --> 00:29:30,227 Bears've got a great team this year. They're gonna go all the way. 356 00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:04,524 Hey, Neal, take my socks out of the sink if you're going to brush your teeth, all right? 357 00:30:10,608 --> 00:30:12,041 Where are you? 358 00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:13,543 I'm in Wichita. 359 00:30:13,611 --> 00:30:14,869 You're still at the airport? 360 00:30:14,906 --> 00:30:18,511 No, I'm at a motel. I spent the night with this guy I met on the plane. 361 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:22,284 You shared a motel room with a stranger? Are you crazy? 362 00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:24,149 Not yet, but I'm getting there. 363 00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:26,156 Did you call the airline? 364 00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:29,591 Everything's booked solid, but they said I have a good chance of getting on standby. 365 00:30:31,162 --> 00:30:33,427 And if they told you wolverines would make good house pets, 366 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:34,394 would you believe them? 367 00:30:34,465 --> 00:30:35,899 I'm not spending Thanksgiving in Wichita. 368 00:30:35,968 --> 00:30:38,958 I got a family waiting for me. I'll get home. 369 00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:41,437 Not by airplane. 370 00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:44,942 They got 18 hours of air traffic backed up. 371 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:49,375 Anyway you slice it, the odds are we're going to have our turkey roll right here. 372 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:51,582 If we wait for the flight. 373 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,316 - How the hell else can we get home? - Thanks. 374 00:30:54,786 --> 00:30:57,721 Burt Dingman. A buddy of mine. He works for the railroad. 375 00:30:57,989 --> 00:30:59,689 - Train? - Yeah. 376 00:30:59,789 --> 00:31:01,524 I sold them all their shower curtain rings. 377 00:31:01,592 --> 00:31:02,587 He owes me a favor. 378 00:31:05,429 --> 00:31:07,864 I'll get that. I paid for everything else. 379 00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:09,399 Why break precedent? 380 00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:12,061 You're making me feel like a freeloader. 381 00:31:12,136 --> 00:31:14,800 Get me on the train, we're square. 382 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,869 You got it. That's the easy part. 383 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,848 What? 384 00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:26,748 You know goddamn well what. 385 00:31:27,518 --> 00:31:29,150 I'm sorry. I don't. 386 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:32,519 I had over $700 in here. 387 00:31:32,790 --> 00:31:36,526 I didn't touch you dough, Neal. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a thief. 388 00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:39,063 You went into my stuff last night, right? 389 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,265 I didn't take your money. 390 00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:43,066 And I don't care for the accusation. 391 00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:46,703 Well, I had over $700 in here. You went into my wallet for pizza. 392 00:31:46,770 --> 00:31:49,071 Just maybe when you went into it, you had to-- 393 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:50,232 Count it! 394 00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:52,000 Oh, like you'd keep it in there if you stole it. 395 00:31:52,020 --> 00:31:53,443 There's $263 in there. 396 00:31:53,472 --> 00:31:55,770 There's a dollar more, then you can call me a thief. 397 00:31:56,549 --> 00:31:57,546 Just count it. 398 00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:59,146 Count it! 399 00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:01,185 263, right? 400 00:32:04,355 --> 00:32:06,557 - Empty. - What?! 401 00:32:13,131 --> 00:32:14,689 We were robbed. 402 00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,791 Do you think so? 403 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:18,562 You know, I've been thinking. 404 00:32:19,636 --> 00:32:21,769 What we're dealing with here is a small time crook. 405 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:24,374 He didn't take the credit cards, right? 406 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,376 So we charge our way home. 407 00:32:26,442 --> 00:32:28,076 What kind of plastic do you carry? 408 00:32:28,144 --> 00:32:30,242 I've got a Visa and a gasoline card. 409 00:32:30,264 --> 00:32:34,000 Oh, I've got a Neiman-Marcus card in case we want to buy a gift for someone. 410 00:32:34,052 --> 00:32:35,000 What have you got? 411 00:32:35,107 --> 00:32:37,000 Chalmer's Big and Tall Men's Shoppe. 412 00:32:37,056 --> 00:32:39,784 It's a seven-outlet chain in the Pacific Northwest. 413 00:32:39,858 --> 00:32:41,052 Great stuff. 414 00:32:41,358 --> 00:32:43,452 Unfortunately, it does us no good here. 415 00:32:43,528 --> 00:32:45,162 Oh, never mind. 416 00:32:45,330 --> 00:32:48,224 Just get me to the train station and I'll take care of everything else. 417 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,066 Oh, I got all that covered. Gus' son is going to pick us up. 418 00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:57,572 This is not him, is it? 419 00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,439 Gee, I hope not. 420 00:33:34,412 --> 00:33:35,845 Are you Gus' son? 421 00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,505 I'm Owen. 422 00:33:41,284 --> 00:33:42,714 You the shower curtain fella? 423 00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:44,812 Yeah. Yeah. Del Griffith. 424 00:33:44,889 --> 00:33:46,413 How are you? 425 00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:48,857 This is Neal Page from Chicago. 426 00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:49,893 Hi. 427 00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:52,220 Pleased to meet you both. 428 00:33:59,903 --> 00:34:02,737 I'm to drive you to Wichita to catch a train? 429 00:34:02,807 --> 00:34:04,365 Yeah, we'd appreciate it. 430 00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:07,309 Train don't run out of Wichita. 431 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:10,176 'Lessen you're a hog or cattle. 432 00:34:13,818 --> 00:34:17,219 People train runs out of Stubbville. 433 00:34:17,288 --> 00:34:18,755 That'll be fine. 434 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:20,381 That'll be just fine. 435 00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:24,394 Leave it be. 436 00:34:24,462 --> 00:34:28,496 Get your lazy behind out here and put that trunk on the back. 437 00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:30,399 Oh, no, no. We've got it. 438 00:34:30,468 --> 00:34:31,799 It's very heavy. 439 00:34:31,869 --> 00:34:33,097 She don't mind. 440 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:35,435 She's short and skinny, 441 00:34:35,506 --> 00:34:36,996 but she's strong. 442 00:34:37,975 --> 00:34:39,543 Her first baby 443 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,703 come out sideways. 444 00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:44,043 She didn't scream or nothing. 445 00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:46,208 Isn't that something? 446 00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:47,979 You're a real trooper. 447 00:34:48,052 --> 00:34:50,646 We've got it. We've got it already. It's done. 448 00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:57,226 You know, Stubbville's a little further than Wichita. 449 00:34:57,295 --> 00:34:58,922 How much further? 450 00:34:58,996 --> 00:35:00,190 30 miles. 451 00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:02,999 Maybe 40. 452 00:35:04,168 --> 00:35:06,659 No more than 45 though. 453 00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:08,271 Depending on which way he goes. 454 00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:11,537 If he goes the back roads, it could be anywhere up to 70 miles. 455 00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:17,013 Give me the glove. 456 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:20,141 Ow! Just nipped. Little part. 457 00:35:20,251 --> 00:35:22,719 Give him the goddamn glove! 458 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,414 Are we there yet? 459 00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:27,424 No, a little way to go yet. 460 00:35:28,893 --> 00:35:30,827 Beautiful country though, isn't it? 461 00:35:30,895 --> 00:35:33,523 What do you figure the temperature is? 462 00:35:33,598 --> 00:35:34,530 One. 463 00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:01,558 Thanks. 464 00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:08,165 They didn't have two together. 465 00:36:08,232 --> 00:36:10,029 You got to be kidding me. 466 00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:11,568 Oh, I knew it. 467 00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:14,901 You know, the secretary was new, and I explained it. 468 00:36:14,972 --> 00:36:16,735 Oh, gee... I'm sorry. 469 00:36:16,807 --> 00:36:18,331 Yeah, I thnik they're just full. 470 00:36:18,409 --> 00:36:20,543 Well, it's the holidays, I guess. 471 00:36:20,611 --> 00:36:23,244 Hey, we're lucky we got a ticket. 472 00:36:23,314 --> 00:36:26,545 Yeah. So, if I don't see you again. 473 00:36:26,617 --> 00:36:28,109 Well, I'll see you on the train. 474 00:36:28,317 --> 00:36:30,109 You want to get together for a drink in the bar car? 475 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,780 I'm going to get some sleep. 476 00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:33,346 - You sure? - Yeah. 477 00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:36,154 Anyway, it's been interesting. 478 00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:39,158 That's the understatement of the year. 479 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:41,464 And thanks for the ticket. 480 00:36:43,401 --> 00:36:45,735 Neal! I need your address. 481 00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:48,065 I got to send you the money to pay you back for this ticket. 482 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:49,606 Ticket's a gift. 483 00:36:49,674 --> 00:36:52,666 Oh, no, no, no, no. Come on now. What's the address? 484 00:36:52,743 --> 00:36:54,142 Del, it's a gift. 485 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,271 Happy holidays. 486 00:36:57,582 --> 00:36:59,311 Same to you. 487 00:37:14,131 --> 00:37:15,120 Hi. 488 00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:18,826 - Going home for Thanksgiving? - Yeah. 489 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:19,995 Me, too. 490 00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:22,130 We're just going to make it. 491 00:37:58,342 --> 00:37:59,842 What did you do here? 492 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:02,105 Is there smoke? Did you say you smell smoke? 493 00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:30,338 You walk a mile, a mile and-a-half to the highway up here. 494 00:38:30,408 --> 00:38:33,343 The trucks will meet you and they'll take you into Jefferson City. 495 00:39:21,292 --> 00:39:23,726 You're in a pretty lousy mood, huh? 496 00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:25,819 To say the least. 497 00:39:27,798 --> 00:39:30,289 You ever travel by bus before? 498 00:39:33,437 --> 00:39:36,429 Your mood's probably not going to improve much. 499 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,763 Neal, Neal. Check that out. 500 00:40:13,043 --> 00:40:15,339 Beats a movie on a plane, huh? 501 00:40:21,552 --> 00:40:24,020 Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. 502 00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,485 You got busted. 503 00:40:32,663 --> 00:40:34,187 Oh, that was good. 504 00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:41,304 I guess this is probably as good a time as any to tell you this. 505 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,966 Our tickets are only good to St. Louis. 506 00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:47,240 St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass. 507 00:40:47,341 --> 00:40:48,740 Look, it's Thanksgiving. 508 00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:57,851 All right! 509 00:40:59,723 --> 00:41:01,816 That was fun, wasn't it? 510 00:41:01,892 --> 00:41:04,659 All right. Who knows a tune here? Who wants to sing a tune? 511 00:41:04,709 --> 00:41:06,319 Who's got a song? 512 00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:09,830 - I got one... - You got one? Neal Page has got one. 513 00:41:10,397 --> 00:41:12,930 # Three coins in a fountain # 514 00:41:13,697 --> 00:41:17,330 # Each one seeking hap... # You know this? # ...seeking happiness # 515 00:41:18,311 --> 00:41:20,471 # Thrown by three hopeful lovers # No? 516 00:41:23,111 --> 00:41:25,471 # Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones # 517 00:41:25,511 --> 00:41:29,001 # They're the modern stone age family # 518 00:41:29,311 --> 00:41:31,771 # From the town of Bedrock # 519 00:41:31,911 --> 00:41:35,471 # They're a page right out of history # 520 00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:38,471 # When you're with the Flintstones # 521 00:41:38,511 --> 00:41:40,971 # Have a yabba dabba doo time # 522 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,471 # A dabba doo time # 523 00:41:42,511 --> 00:41:45,771 # You'll have a gay old time # 524 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:47,235 Wilma! 525 00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:49,299 How do you do, ma'am? My name's Del Griffith. 526 00:41:49,322 --> 00:41:51,039 I'm with the American Light and Fixture Company, 527 00:41:51,359 --> 00:41:52,542 Jewelry division. 528 00:41:52,710 --> 00:41:55,178 And I've got the deal of a lifetime for you. Do you have a minute? 529 00:41:55,546 --> 00:41:58,238 This is your Diane Sawyer autographed earring. 530 00:41:58,715 --> 00:42:00,681 Do you ever watch Sixty Minutes? 531 00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:03,718 Thanks. 532 00:42:03,787 --> 00:42:06,483 This is Czechoslovakian ivory. 533 00:42:06,557 --> 00:42:09,082 That's it. It's $5. 534 00:42:09,159 --> 00:42:10,217 Great. 535 00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:13,730 This is your Walter Cronkite moon ring. 536 00:42:13,997 --> 00:42:15,094 Thank you. 537 00:42:15,165 --> 00:42:17,099 They are filled with helium, 538 00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:18,532 so they're very light. 539 00:42:18,602 --> 00:42:20,194 Thank you. 540 00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:22,865 This is an autographed Darryl Strawberry earring. 541 00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:24,703 All right! 542 00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:26,766 These are very special earrings, by the way. 543 00:42:26,844 --> 00:42:29,002 These were originally handcrafted 544 00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:30,913 for the Grand Wizard of China 545 00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:32,915 back in the fourth century. 546 00:42:32,983 --> 00:42:34,216 Now, these, of course, aren't the originals, 547 00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:37,245 but they are replicas. Very good replicas, too. 548 00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:40,385 They're selling for $5 a pair. Two for $7. 549 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:52,835 I'm Marti Page, and I'm thankful 550 00:42:52,903 --> 00:42:55,565 that my dad's coming home for Thanksgiving. 551 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,778 You know something? 552 00:43:03,847 --> 00:43:05,414 It makes you look a little older, too. 553 00:43:05,547 --> 00:43:06,714 I mean not just a little bit. 554 00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:10,049 You could pass for 18 or 19. 555 00:43:12,890 --> 00:43:14,524 Did you call the wife? 556 00:43:15,292 --> 00:43:16,951 No one was home. 557 00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:20,087 Probably at my daughter's Thanksgiving pageant. 558 00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:24,126 You missed it. 559 00:43:24,535 --> 00:43:26,969 I'm sorry. Those... 560 00:43:27,037 --> 00:43:29,471 Those are the precious moments, too. 561 00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:33,505 They don't come back again. 562 00:43:36,577 --> 00:43:38,708 I've been spending too much time away from home. 563 00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:41,000 I haven't been home in years. 564 00:43:41,785 --> 00:43:43,378 What, seriously? 565 00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:45,319 No, it's a figure of speech. 566 00:43:45,389 --> 00:43:46,822 You know, I'm on the road so much, 567 00:43:46,890 --> 00:43:48,824 it's like not being there. 568 00:43:48,892 --> 00:43:52,225 By the way, I called a good friend of mine at Eastern Airlines. 569 00:43:52,296 --> 00:43:53,695 It doesn't look good. 570 00:43:53,764 --> 00:43:56,297 I know. I called all the airlines. 571 00:43:59,103 --> 00:44:04,000 Well, at least we're still sitting on over 100 beans from my brilliant idea. 572 00:44:04,274 --> 00:44:06,208 You're a terrific salesman. 573 00:44:06,776 --> 00:44:08,574 You know... 574 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:12,707 I've been thinking that when we put our heads together, 575 00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:14,011 we really... 576 00:44:14,084 --> 00:44:15,915 we've really gotten nowhere. 577 00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,044 And... 578 00:44:17,121 --> 00:44:20,056 you know, I think I'm holding you up. 579 00:44:20,124 --> 00:44:23,923 Oh, no. Don't say that about yourself. That's not true, Neal. It really isn't true. 580 00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:27,987 No, I really think we'll get to where we're going a lot faster if... 581 00:44:28,065 --> 00:44:30,499 we were alone. 582 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:31,625 Okay? 583 00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:36,297 Okay. 584 00:44:36,373 --> 00:44:37,670 I see. 585 00:44:44,714 --> 00:44:48,615 I think I'm just going to take care of this and I think I'm going to get going. 586 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,308 - I appreciate that. - Yeah, that's fine. 587 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,784 You know, it's just harder for two people to travel. You know? 588 00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:54,823 Yeah. Yeah. Sure it is. 589 00:44:54,891 --> 00:44:55,324 And if you've got reservations... 590 00:44:55,392 --> 00:44:56,518 Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're saying. 591 00:44:56,593 --> 00:44:57,992 Thanks for the meal. 592 00:44:58,062 --> 00:44:59,495 Yeah, okay, that's all right. 593 00:44:59,563 --> 00:45:02,430 And I owe you some of this, too. 594 00:45:02,499 --> 00:45:03,932 No, no, no, no. Del. 595 00:45:04,001 --> 00:45:05,434 - Del, I told you it was a gift. - This is your cut, all right? 596 00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:06,935 - I'm not taking your money. - Take the money. 597 00:45:07,004 --> 00:45:08,338 - Buy your kids a chocolate turkey or something. - No, no, you get your kids something. 598 00:45:08,354 --> 00:45:10,438 - You take it. Take it. Take it. - I don't want the money, okay? 599 00:45:10,506 --> 00:45:12,031 - I don't need anything for my kids. - I'm just going to leave it there. 600 00:45:12,109 --> 00:45:13,733 Then leave it. If you want to leave it, fine. 601 00:45:13,751 --> 00:45:15,406 That's okay. I'm done, okay? 602 00:45:15,479 --> 00:45:18,573 I've got to get going now, so if you'll excuse me... 603 00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:21,015 I got things to do. 604 00:45:22,086 --> 00:45:23,280 So... 605 00:45:24,354 --> 00:45:27,889 Good luck to you and I hope you get home soon. 606 00:45:27,957 --> 00:45:28,722 I'll see you. 607 00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:30,123 Yeah, sure you will. 608 00:45:41,304 --> 00:45:44,638 It's a white Lincoln town car, space V-5. 609 00:46:01,458 --> 00:46:03,085 V-5 610 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,718 V-5. 611 00:46:06,930 --> 00:46:08,659 V-5. 612 00:46:22,279 --> 00:46:23,371 Hey! Hey! 613 00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,142 Hey! Hey! 614 00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:30,011 Hey! Hey! Hey! 615 00:46:30,087 --> 00:46:31,520 Hey, the car's not there! 616 00:46:31,588 --> 00:46:34,557 I need a ride back! 617 00:46:41,298 --> 00:46:42,356 You... 618 00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:44,661 God! 619 00:46:45,669 --> 00:46:47,102 Goddamn it! 620 00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:48,604 Goddamn it! 621 00:46:51,171 --> 00:46:53,004 You're messing with the wrong guy! 622 00:47:39,271 --> 00:47:41,004 You're messing with the wrong guy! 623 00:48:00,910 --> 00:48:03,102 Oh, gee, Marie, you're a stitch. 624 00:48:04,514 --> 00:48:06,647 No, mom's going to do the turkey. 625 00:48:06,716 --> 00:48:08,749 Yeah, dad wants ambrosia, 626 00:48:08,817 --> 00:48:11,152 so I guess we're going to get those miniature marshmallows. 627 00:48:11,220 --> 00:48:13,655 And I'll do the crescent rolls, and you do the cranberries. 628 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,555 You know I can't cook. 629 00:48:21,265 --> 00:48:23,062 Yeah, Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. 630 00:48:23,133 --> 00:48:24,361 Gobble gobble. 631 00:48:27,504 --> 00:48:28,766 Oh, bye-bye. 632 00:48:37,012 --> 00:48:38,648 Welcome to Marathon. May I help you? 633 00:48:39,215 --> 00:48:40,774 Yes. 634 00:48:40,999 --> 00:48:43,342 How may I help you? 635 00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:47,481 You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile 636 00:48:47,557 --> 00:48:50,754 off your rosy fucking cheeks. 637 00:48:50,827 --> 00:48:53,227 Then you can give me a fucking automobile. 638 00:48:53,297 --> 00:48:54,730 A fucking Datsun, 639 00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:56,231 a fucking Toyota, 640 00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:56,928 a fucking Mustang, 641 00:48:56,950 --> 00:48:57,578 a fucking Buick. 642 00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:59,933 Four fucking wheels and a seat. 643 00:49:00,003 --> 00:49:03,029 I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. 644 00:49:03,106 --> 00:49:05,267 And I really don't care for the way 645 00:49:05,342 --> 00:49:08,072 your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere 646 00:49:08,145 --> 00:49:11,444 with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. 647 00:49:11,515 --> 00:49:15,417 And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway 648 00:49:15,485 --> 00:49:17,714 and across a fucking runway 649 00:49:17,787 --> 00:49:21,621 to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. 650 00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:25,526 I want a fucking car 651 00:49:25,595 --> 00:49:28,826 right fucking now. 652 00:49:32,302 --> 00:49:34,702 May I see your rental agreement? 653 00:49:34,771 --> 00:49:37,365 I threw it away. 654 00:49:37,441 --> 00:49:40,137 Oh, boy. 655 00:49:41,211 --> 00:49:43,042 Oh, boy, what? 656 00:49:43,113 --> 00:49:45,638 You're fucked. 657 00:50:04,069 --> 00:50:05,805 You're messing with the wrong guy! 658 00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:09,305 Okay, 86, wake up. You're going to block the line. 659 00:50:09,573 --> 00:50:12,171 - Yeah, where you going? - Chicago. 660 00:50:12,242 --> 00:50:15,174 - Chicago? - Chicago. 661 00:50:15,244 --> 00:50:16,474 You know you're in St. Louis? 662 00:50:16,546 --> 00:50:18,878 Yes, I do. 663 00:50:19,950 --> 00:50:23,515 Why don't you try the airlines? They are a lot faster and you get a free meal. 664 00:50:23,587 --> 00:50:27,422 If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. 665 00:50:29,226 --> 00:50:30,390 Now, are you going to help me 666 00:50:30,426 --> 00:50:33,390 or are you going to stand there like a slab of meat with mittens. 667 00:50:46,943 --> 00:50:48,376 What are you doing? 668 00:50:48,445 --> 00:50:51,000 I almost crushed your head like a melon. 669 00:50:52,416 --> 00:50:53,383 Del? 670 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,917 Get your car out of here! 671 00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:56,850 Just a minute, okay? 672 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,581 Get it out of here! 673 00:51:00,090 --> 00:51:01,723 What is your problem? 674 00:51:01,791 --> 00:51:04,116 You insensitive asshole. 675 00:51:04,194 --> 00:51:06,926 Can't you see we've got an injured man down on the street? 676 00:51:06,997 --> 00:51:08,897 Now, I'll move my car, 677 00:51:08,965 --> 00:51:10,865 but I want you help him up. 678 00:51:10,934 --> 00:51:12,000 No! 679 00:51:12,069 --> 00:51:13,293 My pleasure. 680 00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:31,854 You know, I had a feeling that when we parted ways, 681 00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:34,686 somehow, someday, our paths would cross again. 682 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:37,090 Are you all right? 683 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,162 I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. 684 00:51:42,231 --> 00:51:44,962 Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. 685 00:51:45,035 --> 00:51:48,199 Otherwise, you'd be lifting your schnutz to tie your shoes. 686 00:51:49,672 --> 00:51:51,698 I'm sorry. That's terrible. 687 00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:54,505 Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you? 688 00:51:54,578 --> 00:51:57,376 Do you have any idea how glad I'd be if you had? 689 00:51:57,447 --> 00:51:59,574 Oh, come on, pal. You don't mean that. 690 00:51:59,649 --> 00:52:02,116 Remember what I said about going with the flow? 691 00:52:02,186 --> 00:52:05,000 How I am supposed to go with the flow when the rental car agency 692 00:52:05,049 --> 00:52:08,000 leaves me in a 100-acre parking-lot with keys to a car that isn't there, 693 00:52:08,025 --> 00:52:12,258 and then I have to hike 3 miles back to find out they don't have any more cars? 694 00:52:13,329 --> 00:52:15,093 I got a car, no sweat at all. 695 00:52:16,165 --> 00:52:18,265 Well, Del, you're a charmed man. 696 00:52:18,307 --> 00:52:20,593 - Nope. - Oh, I know. 697 00:52:20,670 --> 00:52:22,504 You just go with the flow. 698 00:52:22,573 --> 00:52:25,339 Like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream. 699 00:53:01,677 --> 00:53:03,840 Would you please stop doing that with the seat? 700 00:53:03,914 --> 00:53:05,711 Once you start screwing around with these damn things, 701 00:53:05,782 --> 00:53:07,113 you can never get comfortable. 702 00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,742 Then quit screwing around with it. 703 00:53:08,818 --> 00:53:10,746 I got to get comfortable. 704 00:53:11,020 --> 00:53:12,315 Do you have a bad back? 705 00:53:13,089 --> 00:53:14,788 Well, I do and it hurts like a bugger. 706 00:53:14,857 --> 00:53:16,587 There's only a couple good positions. 707 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:18,218 You're going to break it. 708 00:53:19,963 --> 00:53:21,062 Done. 709 00:53:22,499 --> 00:53:23,625 Ah, lovely. 710 00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:25,998 Lovely, lovely. 711 00:53:32,742 --> 00:53:34,437 Oh, damn it. 712 00:53:34,511 --> 00:53:35,739 What now? 713 00:53:35,812 --> 00:53:37,746 I got the seat right where I want it. 714 00:53:37,814 --> 00:53:39,748 I can't reach my feet to get my shoes off. 715 00:53:39,816 --> 00:53:42,250 That's just fine. Leave your shoes on. 716 00:53:42,319 --> 00:53:44,116 I can't relax if I got my shoes on. 717 00:53:44,187 --> 00:53:47,850 I don't care to breathe your foot odor. Leave the shoes on! 718 00:53:47,924 --> 00:53:51,724 Gee, it must be swell to be so perfect and odor-free. 719 00:53:51,795 --> 00:53:53,729 You know, there's plenty of things about you that bother me, 720 00:53:53,797 --> 00:53:56,000 but I'm decent enough not to bring them up. 721 00:53:56,027 --> 00:53:57,332 - Really, really? - That's right, yeah. 722 00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,529 What do I do that bothers you? 723 00:53:58,602 --> 00:53:59,970 - I'm just curious. - Well, there's lots of things that you do. 724 00:53:59,993 --> 00:54:02,092 - Name one. Why don't you name one? - There's quite a few things. 725 00:54:02,121 --> 00:54:03,166 - You want me to name one? - Yeah. 726 00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:04,400 Fine... 727 00:54:05,575 --> 00:54:08,339 You play with your balls a lot. 728 00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:15,749 I do not play with my balls. 729 00:54:16,819 --> 00:54:21,310 Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour. 730 00:54:21,424 --> 00:54:22,692 Are you trying to start a fight? 731 00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:24,522 No, I'm simply stating a fact, that's all. 732 00:54:24,594 --> 00:54:26,289 You fidget with your nuts a lot. 733 00:54:26,363 --> 00:54:27,625 You know what would make me happy? 734 00:54:27,697 --> 00:54:29,927 Another couple of balls and an extra set of fingers? 735 00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:33,000 Oh, that's humor. 736 00:54:33,036 --> 00:54:35,569 Oh, that's real humor. 737 00:54:35,638 --> 00:54:37,873 What would make be happy is if you give your mouth a rest. 738 00:54:38,341 --> 00:54:39,873 My pleasure. 739 00:54:39,942 --> 00:54:41,876 - I'd like a little silence when I drive. - No problem. 740 00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:43,946 - Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 741 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,553 You broke the seat. 742 00:54:51,621 --> 00:54:54,788 You broke the goddamn seat. I don't believe it. 743 00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:57,052 It wasn't broken when I got out. 744 00:54:57,627 --> 00:54:59,058 You messed around with it till you broke it. 745 00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:01,122 How can you break a car seat. It's impossible. 746 00:55:01,198 --> 00:55:02,458 What do you mean it's impossible? 747 00:55:02,532 --> 00:55:03,999 - You want to drive? - No I don't. 748 00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:06,201 Why did you do this? 749 00:55:08,605 --> 00:55:11,267 Look, I'm not going to be held responsible for faulty engineering. 750 00:55:11,341 --> 00:55:14,902 Oh, boy, this is comfortable. This is really comfortable. 751 00:55:16,313 --> 00:55:19,180 I don't want to argue, all right? Let's not fight. 752 00:55:19,249 --> 00:55:20,682 All right, all right. 753 00:55:21,750 --> 00:55:23,685 Now, I'm gonna go to sleep. All right. 754 00:55:25,753 --> 00:55:28,690 I'm putting my wallet in the glove compartment. Don't let me forget it. 755 00:55:28,758 --> 00:55:29,747 All right. 756 00:56:55,512 --> 00:56:57,546 That was Ray Charles doing The Mess Around. 757 00:56:57,614 --> 00:57:00,000 Looking outside, the weather's beginning to clear up now. 758 00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:01,547 I hope you're enjoying your evening with us. 759 00:57:01,558 --> 00:57:03,750 We're coming up half past the hour... 760 00:57:45,761 --> 00:57:46,953 Oh, come on. 761 00:57:52,968 --> 00:57:53,995 Right. 762 00:58:07,851 --> 00:58:08,875 Oh, shit! 763 00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:27,963 Okay. 764 00:58:28,037 --> 00:58:31,268 Think it out. Just relax. 765 00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:33,866 Let go! Let go! 766 00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:03,365 What's happening? 767 00:59:04,439 --> 00:59:06,602 Oh, we almost hit a deer, that's all. 768 00:59:07,700 --> 00:59:09,236 Are you all right? 769 00:59:10,312 --> 00:59:12,406 Yes, I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine. 770 00:59:12,482 --> 00:59:15,174 It's getting pretty hot in here. You ought to take your parka off. 771 00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:17,281 Yes. Yes, I will. 772 00:59:47,716 --> 00:59:50,583 Holy shit! Look at that guy on the wrong side of the highway! 773 00:59:50,602 --> 00:59:52,286 He's going to kill somebody! 774 00:59:52,355 --> 00:59:53,652 Oh, my God! 775 00:59:54,423 --> 00:59:55,486 Hey! 776 00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:57,782 Hey! 777 01:00:00,763 --> 01:00:02,797 Hey, what's going on? 778 01:00:02,865 --> 01:00:04,890 Some joker wants to race. 779 01:00:06,202 --> 01:00:07,260 Turn around! 780 01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,897 Don't race. It's ridiculous. 781 01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:12,601 All right, come on. Let's go. Let's go. 782 01:00:12,675 --> 01:00:14,370 Put your window down! 783 01:00:14,444 --> 01:00:15,968 He wants something. 784 01:00:16,545 --> 01:00:17,945 He's probably drunk. 785 01:00:18,014 --> 01:00:20,482 You're going the wrong way! 786 01:00:20,550 --> 01:00:21,676 What? 787 01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:24,515 - You're going the wrong way! - You're going the wrong way! 788 01:00:26,089 --> 01:00:28,819 He says we're going the wrong way. 789 01:00:28,891 --> 01:00:30,324 Oh, he's drunk. 790 01:00:30,393 --> 01:00:32,793 How would he know where we're going? 791 01:00:32,862 --> 01:00:35,490 Yeah, how would he know? 792 01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,829 Thank you. Thanks a lot. 793 01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:39,333 Terrific. 794 01:00:39,402 --> 01:00:40,334 Thank you. 795 01:00:41,738 --> 01:00:43,103 What a moron. 796 01:00:45,041 --> 01:00:47,669 You're going in the wrong direction! 797 01:00:52,181 --> 01:00:55,309 - You're going to kill somebody! - You're going to kill somebody! 798 01:01:03,593 --> 01:01:05,754 You're going the wrong way! 799 01:01:10,466 --> 01:01:11,865 - Truck. Truck. Truck. - What? 800 01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:12,901 What?! 801 01:02:15,931 --> 01:02:17,624 Well, this isn't so bad. 802 01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:21,136 I thought it would be a lot worse than this. 803 01:02:21,204 --> 01:02:24,435 They'll be able to buff this out no problem. 804 01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:25,974 Oh, yeah. 805 01:02:33,048 --> 01:02:35,108 I mean, that was close. 806 01:02:35,184 --> 01:02:38,513 We can laugh about it now. We're all right, you know. 807 01:02:38,888 --> 01:02:41,482 The whole... 808 01:02:42,857 --> 01:02:45,687 Maybe we should just get my stuff off the road, huh? 809 01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:47,753 What do you think? Yeah. 810 01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:49,764 Yeah, that's a good idea. 811 01:02:51,667 --> 01:02:53,567 Oh, my back! 812 01:02:56,005 --> 01:02:57,063 God. 813 01:03:17,527 --> 01:03:19,620 Come on. Here we go. 814 01:03:20,495 --> 01:03:21,458 Thanks. 815 01:03:21,931 --> 01:03:24,466 Set it down for a second. 816 01:03:32,540 --> 01:03:33,600 What a night. 817 01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:27,663 What? 818 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:30,127 What? 819 01:04:30,399 --> 01:04:33,635 You finally did it to yourself. 820 01:04:33,703 --> 01:04:34,795 Huh? 821 01:04:38,374 --> 01:04:41,000 I mean, good luck turning the car in. 822 01:04:41,377 --> 01:04:44,513 They're going to be happy as pigs in shit to see you. 823 01:04:54,857 --> 01:04:58,655 How could you rent the thing anyway without a credit card? 824 01:04:59,528 --> 01:05:01,822 I mean you couldn't. How could you do it? 825 01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:06,333 I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings. 826 01:05:14,644 --> 01:05:17,509 You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings, Del. 827 01:05:28,090 --> 01:05:29,224 Well... 828 01:05:31,092 --> 01:05:32,526 somehow your... 829 01:05:32,795 --> 01:05:36,231 diner's club card wound up in my wallet, 830 01:05:36,298 --> 01:05:38,632 and I just... 831 01:05:38,601 --> 01:05:40,701 - You stole it! - Not exactly. 832 01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:42,403 - You stole my card! - No, I swear on my life I didn't. 833 01:05:42,422 --> 01:05:43,334 - I know you stole it. 834 01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:44,373 - You stole my card... - I did not steal your card! 835 01:05:44,396 --> 01:05:45,773 - ...and then you rented a car, - I didn't! 836 01:05:45,816 --> 01:05:47,573 - ...and then you burned it up! - I did not! 837 01:05:47,610 --> 01:05:49,976 - I found it in my wallet! - I knew you stole it. 838 01:05:50,046 --> 01:05:51,410 I thought you put it there. 839 01:05:52,081 --> 01:05:53,739 Why would I put it there? 840 01:05:54,016 --> 01:05:55,347 Kindness? 841 01:05:55,418 --> 01:05:57,750 Kindness? 842 01:05:57,820 --> 01:05:59,151 Kindness? 843 01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:01,054 You stole it! 844 01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:02,756 He stole it! 845 01:06:02,824 --> 01:06:06,024 No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I was going to send it back to you 846 01:06:06,095 --> 01:06:09,087 with whatever the rental car charge was, plus interest. 847 01:06:09,165 --> 01:06:11,565 But you didn't give me your address. What was I supposed to do? 848 01:06:11,634 --> 01:06:12,999 You just ditched me. 849 01:06:13,069 --> 01:06:15,503 I had no money, I had no cards, I had nothing. 850 01:06:15,571 --> 01:06:16,731 Give it back! 851 01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:17,738 I can't! 852 01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:20,807 Why not? 853 01:06:20,876 --> 01:06:21,843 Because! 854 01:06:23,245 --> 01:06:24,337 Because why? 855 01:06:24,413 --> 01:06:26,847 Because when we stopped to gas up, 856 01:06:26,916 --> 01:06:29,851 I put the card back in your wallet. 857 01:06:41,931 --> 01:06:43,831 Are you mad at me? 858 01:06:59,815 --> 01:07:04,187 You know, you could've killed me, slugging me in the gut when I wasn't ready. 859 01:07:05,254 --> 01:07:07,188 That's how Houdini died, you know. 860 01:07:16,732 --> 01:07:18,400 One good thing about it, 861 01:07:18,434 --> 01:07:21,470 with all this fresh air, we're going to sleep like babies. 862 01:07:22,238 --> 01:07:24,672 Neal? Hey, hey, Neal, wait up. 863 01:07:27,009 --> 01:07:28,499 I need one room. 864 01:07:29,077 --> 01:07:31,912 If you're pissed at me, maybe we should get separate rooms. 865 01:07:31,980 --> 01:07:33,013 You get your own room. 866 01:07:33,082 --> 01:07:35,516 I'll need a major credit card. 867 01:07:35,684 --> 01:07:37,848 Right. Right. 868 01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:42,050 I have... 869 01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:44,617 Diner's... 870 01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:47,160 Visa... 871 01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:50,690 and a gasoline card. 872 01:07:54,303 --> 01:07:57,101 These aren't credit cards. 873 01:07:57,573 --> 01:08:00,233 All right, I'll pay cash. Cash. 874 01:08:00,309 --> 01:08:01,991 $42.50. 875 01:08:09,618 --> 01:08:12,746 How about... $17? 876 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:15,819 I can't do that. 877 01:08:15,891 --> 01:08:16,949 Please. 878 01:08:17,226 --> 01:08:18,994 Have mercy. 879 01:08:20,061 --> 01:08:23,694 I've been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday. 880 01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:25,597 I can vouch for that. 881 01:08:28,237 --> 01:08:31,172 I don't... I don't... I don't own the place. 882 01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:41,512 $17 and a hell of a nice watch. 883 01:08:57,366 --> 01:08:59,025 Would you like a room? 884 01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:07,974 I got a slight problem here. 885 01:09:08,043 --> 01:09:10,307 I don't have the $42.50. 886 01:09:10,579 --> 01:09:13,815 You have $17 and a good watch? 887 01:09:14,883 --> 01:09:16,852 No, I don't. I have... 888 01:09:20,055 --> 01:09:22,819 I have $2.00 and... 889 01:09:25,394 --> 01:09:26,986 and a Casio. 890 01:09:31,333 --> 01:09:34,359 I'm going to have to say goodnight. 891 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,480 Well, Marie... 892 01:10:23,952 --> 01:10:27,488 Once again, my dear, you were as right as rain. 893 01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:30,825 I am, without a doubt, 894 01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:35,129 the biggest pain in the butt that ever came down the pike. 895 01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:40,031 I meet someone whose company I really enjoy, 896 01:10:40,502 --> 01:10:42,336 and what do I do? 897 01:10:43,572 --> 01:10:45,005 I go overboard. 898 01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:47,008 I smother the poor soul. 899 01:10:47,276 --> 01:10:50,445 I cause him more trouble than he has a right to. 900 01:10:52,881 --> 01:10:55,475 God, I got a big mouth. 901 01:11:01,523 --> 01:11:03,958 When am I ever going to wake up? 902 01:11:23,512 --> 01:11:26,670 I wish you were here with me right now. 903 01:11:30,552 --> 01:11:32,611 But I guess... 904 01:11:32,688 --> 01:11:34,553 that's not going to happen. 905 01:11:36,392 --> 01:11:38,053 Not now, anyway. 906 01:11:40,595 --> 01:11:44,032 What did I do to get hooked up with this guy? 907 01:12:02,751 --> 01:12:05,286 You're going to freeze to death out there. 908 01:12:12,127 --> 01:12:13,458 How's your drink? 909 01:12:13,529 --> 01:12:14,621 Good. 910 01:12:16,532 --> 01:12:17,965 Go for another one? 911 01:12:18,033 --> 01:12:19,466 Where've you been? 912 01:12:19,535 --> 01:12:20,968 You've been to Italy? 913 01:12:21,036 --> 01:12:22,469 You had amaretto? 914 01:12:22,538 --> 01:12:24,473 I have amaretto, and this is a gin. 915 01:12:24,538 --> 01:12:25,473 Oh, gin. 916 01:12:25,541 --> 01:12:27,475 What is that? Is that a tequila there? 917 01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:29,477 A little Mexican trip. 918 01:12:29,545 --> 01:12:30,477 Tequila? 919 01:12:30,546 --> 01:12:32,343 Here you go. Coming up. 920 01:12:32,814 --> 01:12:34,882 Is this a good combo or what? 921 01:12:35,050 --> 01:12:37,075 No, probably not. 922 01:12:37,452 --> 01:12:42,017 Me, I'm going back to Jamaica. 923 01:12:42,391 --> 01:12:43,585 Jamaica, man. 924 01:12:43,659 --> 01:12:46,594 Go to Jamaica. Have some rum, man. 925 01:12:46,662 --> 01:12:47,788 Dig it. 926 01:12:47,863 --> 01:12:50,024 Iree, iree, man. 927 01:12:52,601 --> 01:12:54,535 Oh, shit. 928 01:12:58,006 --> 01:13:00,041 You know, when I'm dead and buried, 929 01:13:00,109 --> 01:13:03,044 all I'm going to have around to prove that I was here 930 01:13:03,112 --> 01:13:06,547 was some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. 931 01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:08,173 Great legacy, huh? 932 01:13:08,550 --> 01:13:10,047 At the very least, 933 01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:12,053 at the absolute minimum, 934 01:13:12,121 --> 01:13:16,081 you've got a woman you love to grow old with, right? 935 01:13:17,859 --> 01:13:20,021 You love her, don't you? 936 01:13:25,434 --> 01:13:29,269 Love is not a big enough word. 937 01:13:29,737 --> 01:13:33,699 It's not a big enough word for how I feel about my wife. 938 01:13:33,776 --> 01:13:35,266 To the wives. 939 01:13:35,344 --> 01:13:36,606 To the wives! 940 01:13:46,155 --> 01:13:49,522 Well, let me just close this conversation 941 01:13:49,591 --> 01:13:52,526 by saying you are one unique individual. 942 01:13:54,596 --> 01:13:56,029 What is unique? 943 01:13:56,198 --> 01:13:58,532 Latin for asshole? 944 01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,535 Grab those. I'm going to kick them off. 945 01:14:03,972 --> 01:14:08,033 Well, I'll tell you. As much trouble as I've had on this little journey, 946 01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:11,146 I'm sure one day I'm going to look back and laugh. 947 01:14:11,613 --> 01:14:13,012 You think so? 948 01:14:13,381 --> 01:14:15,549 Oh, I'm laughing already. 949 01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:17,149 Oh, God. 950 01:14:17,178 --> 01:14:19,178 Oh, when that car blew up. 951 01:14:19,554 --> 01:14:21,752 Was that seat hot or what? 952 01:14:21,793 --> 01:14:24,786 I feel like a big whopper. 953 01:14:24,860 --> 01:14:27,556 Turn me over. I'm done on this side. 954 01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:30,164 I'm afraid to look at my ass, you know. 955 01:14:30,232 --> 01:14:33,168 I'm going to have those griddle marks on my ass. 956 01:14:36,406 --> 01:14:37,570 What is that? 957 01:14:37,906 --> 01:14:40,070 Potato chips. 958 01:14:42,144 --> 01:14:43,577 They're everywhere! 959 01:14:47,282 --> 01:14:49,250 Why do I feel like I am in summer camp? 960 01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:08,102 Now how the hell does this thing turn off? 961 01:15:13,375 --> 01:15:14,603 You all set? 962 01:15:14,676 --> 01:15:16,109 Just a minute. 963 01:15:16,178 --> 01:15:18,112 Give it a good push now. 964 01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,113 - All right. - All right. 965 01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:21,615 Oh, geez. 966 01:15:26,686 --> 01:15:28,656 - Push! Put some oomph into it! - I am! I am! 967 01:15:28,724 --> 01:15:30,248 Push, for Christ sake! 968 01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:33,120 I think we have to rock it a bit. 969 01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:34,753 All right. Okay. 970 01:15:34,990 --> 01:15:37,697 Up and down. Here we go. Ready? 971 01:15:37,766 --> 01:15:38,755 Yeah. 972 01:15:38,834 --> 01:15:40,131 Here we go. 973 01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:41,328 Reverse! 974 01:15:57,786 --> 01:15:58,878 Get in! 975 01:16:03,792 --> 01:16:04,952 Go! 976 01:16:21,392 --> 01:16:25,152 # Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining # 977 01:16:25,492 --> 01:16:29,352 # Shine on the one that's gone and proved untrue # 978 01:16:29,592 --> 01:16:33,752 # Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining # 979 01:16:33,992 --> 01:16:37,352 # Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue # 980 01:16:37,492 --> 01:16:42,352 # It was on a moonlit night The stars were shining bright # 981 01:16:42,492 --> 01:16:46,552 # They whispered from on high Your love has said good-bye # 982 01:16:46,792 --> 01:16:50,552 # Blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining # 983 01:17:03,785 --> 01:17:06,419 Oh, great. Great. A cop. 984 01:17:06,488 --> 01:17:07,420 Watch it! 985 01:17:08,789 --> 01:17:10,223 How fast are you going? 986 01:17:10,291 --> 01:17:12,725 I can't tell. The speedometer's melted. 987 01:17:12,793 --> 01:17:13,717 Pull over. 988 01:17:13,795 --> 01:17:15,226 Top of the morning, officer. 989 01:17:15,297 --> 01:17:16,229 Hi. 990 01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:19,000 Is there something I can help you with? 991 01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,235 What the hell are you driving? 992 01:17:21,303 --> 01:17:24,534 We had a small fire last night, but we caught in the nick of time. 993 01:17:24,606 --> 01:17:28,000 You have any idea how fast you were going? 994 01:17:28,050 --> 01:17:29,743 Funnily enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. 995 01:17:29,811 --> 01:17:30,947 Our speedometer's melted 996 01:17:30,991 --> 01:17:33,247 and as a result it's very hard to say with any degree of accuracy 997 01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:36,079 exactly how fast we were going. 998 01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:38,210 78 miles an hour. 999 01:17:39,388 --> 01:17:40,821 78, huh? 1000 01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:43,824 Well, yeah. I can buy that. Sure. I guess. 1001 01:17:43,892 --> 01:17:45,826 You know, you'd know better than us. 1002 01:17:45,894 --> 01:17:47,759 Especially since we've got a melted speedometer. 1003 01:17:47,829 --> 01:17:51,265 Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel? 1004 01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:52,766 Yes, I do. 1005 01:17:52,834 --> 01:17:54,467 Yes, I really do. I believe that... 1006 01:17:54,536 --> 01:17:57,897 I know it's not pretty to look at, but it'll get you where you want to go. 1007 01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:59,770 You got no outside mirror. 1008 01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:00,899 No, we lost that. 1009 01:18:00,976 --> 01:18:02,573 You have no functioning gauges. 1010 01:18:02,644 --> 01:18:04,000 No, not a one. 1011 01:18:04,613 --> 01:18:06,774 However, the radio still works. 1012 01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:08,782 Funny as that may seem, with all this mess, 1013 01:18:08,850 --> 01:18:10,686 that the radio is the only thing that's really working good. 1014 01:18:10,704 --> 01:18:13,287 And it's clear as a bell. Don't ask me how. 1015 01:18:15,891 --> 01:18:18,052 I can't let you go ahead in this vehicle. 1016 01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:19,286 Can't what? 1017 01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:21,095 No. It's not fit for the road. 1018 01:18:21,263 --> 01:18:22,497 The vehicle will be impounded 1019 01:18:22,515 --> 01:18:25,499 until such time as it can be made safe for travel on state highway. 1020 01:18:25,768 --> 01:18:29,303 Okay, officer, I admit it. I broke the law. 1021 01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:31,805 And for that I'm really sorry. I am and it'll never happen again. 1022 01:18:31,873 --> 01:18:35,410 You got me there and I won't argue with you one iota, I swear. 1023 01:18:35,678 --> 01:18:37,345 However... 1024 01:18:37,912 --> 01:18:39,512 If you impound our car, 1025 01:18:39,681 --> 01:18:43,851 I'm going be unable to get my friend here home in time for his Thanksgiving dinner. 1026 01:19:14,349 --> 01:19:16,943 Well, our ship has come in. 1027 01:19:22,891 --> 01:19:25,116 It's free and it's nonstop. 1028 01:19:25,193 --> 01:19:27,187 I said I'was going to get you home. 1029 01:19:27,223 --> 01:19:29,531 I don't care, just so the heater's working. 1030 01:19:29,898 --> 01:19:34,000 The driver's a little freaky about people riding up in his cab. 1031 01:19:34,636 --> 01:19:36,297 So, we can't sit there. 1032 01:19:36,371 --> 01:19:39,238 Well, if we can't sit up there, where are we supposed to ride? 1033 01:19:41,376 --> 01:19:42,809 Beats walking, huh? 1034 01:19:44,379 --> 01:19:47,314 You know, you're going to be in Chicago in... 1035 01:19:47,382 --> 01:19:50,249 less than three hours, around there, 1036 01:19:50,318 --> 01:19:52,252 if we don't hit traffic. 1037 01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:55,756 And I don't think we should, since it's Thanksgiving. 1038 01:19:56,825 --> 01:19:58,224 We're moving now. 1039 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,286 You believe this? 1040 01:20:32,360 --> 01:20:34,135 It's been a hell of a trip. 1041 01:20:34,160 --> 01:20:35,295 It sure has. 1042 01:20:35,363 --> 01:20:39,299 But... after all is said and done, 1043 01:20:39,367 --> 01:20:41,301 you did get me home and I really appreciate it. 1044 01:20:41,369 --> 01:20:44,000 Hey, next time, let's go first class, all right? 1045 01:20:44,473 --> 01:20:46,008 God, I hope there isn't a next time. 1046 01:20:46,076 --> 01:20:48,608 I know what you mean. I really do. 1047 01:20:51,813 --> 01:20:53,246 This you? 1048 01:20:55,317 --> 01:20:56,249 Yeah. 1049 01:21:00,555 --> 01:21:02,489 - It's been great meeting you, Neal. It really has. - Nice to meet you. 1050 01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:04,792 Again, I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. 1051 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:06,959 Oh, no, you didn't cause me trouble. You got me home. 1052 01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:09,053 And... a little late. 1053 01:21:09,130 --> 01:21:10,757 A couple days. 1054 01:21:10,832 --> 01:21:12,265 But... 1055 01:21:12,334 --> 01:21:14,527 I'm a little wiser, too. So... 1056 01:21:14,602 --> 01:21:16,231 Me, too. 1057 01:21:17,339 --> 01:21:18,772 Happy holidays. 1058 01:21:18,840 --> 01:21:20,102 Same to you. 1059 01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:23,768 - Happy Thanksgiving, Neal. - Okay. 1060 01:21:23,845 --> 01:21:26,279 - Give my love to the family, will you? - Same to you. 1061 01:21:26,348 --> 01:21:28,407 - Maybe I'll get the chance to meet them someday. - Okay. 1062 01:21:28,483 --> 01:21:30,781 Say hello to Marie for me. I feel like I know her. 1063 01:21:30,852 --> 01:21:32,149 Yeah. 1064 01:21:33,355 --> 01:21:35,289 So... Okay. 1065 01:21:35,357 --> 01:21:37,655 And you have a happy Thanksgiving. 1066 01:21:37,726 --> 01:21:39,785 Hey, you know it. 1067 01:21:39,861 --> 01:21:41,522 So long. 1068 01:23:05,146 --> 01:23:07,740 I like... I like me. 1069 01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:09,340 My wife likes me. 1070 01:23:12,153 --> 01:23:15,247 At the very least, the absolute minimum, 1071 01:23:15,323 --> 01:23:18,757 you've got a woman you love to grow old with, right? 1072 01:23:24,933 --> 01:23:27,424 I'm spending too much time away from home. 1073 01:23:27,502 --> 01:23:29,766 I haven't been home in years. 1074 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:32,072 I haven't been home in years. 1075 01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:34,774 I haven't been home in years. 1076 01:23:55,598 --> 01:23:59,728 Del, what are you doing here? 1077 01:24:06,807 --> 01:24:08,241 You said you were going home. 1078 01:24:08,309 --> 01:24:10,300 What are you doing here? 1079 01:24:11,813 --> 01:24:13,246 I... 1080 01:24:16,317 --> 01:24:18,182 I don't have a home. 1081 01:24:24,826 --> 01:24:27,260 Marie's been dead for eight years. 1082 01:25:03,364 --> 01:25:06,800 Boy. You are one lucky guy, Neal. 1083 01:25:08,068 --> 01:25:09,263 I know. 1084 01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:12,706 Look, I won't stay long or anything. 1085 01:25:12,734 --> 01:25:14,908 Maybe I'll just come in and say hi, and then I'll be on my way, all right? 1086 01:25:14,976 --> 01:25:16,275 Just come on. 1087 01:25:34,395 --> 01:25:35,760 Hiya, kiddo. 1088 01:25:35,830 --> 01:25:37,297 Daddy! 1089 01:25:39,400 --> 01:25:40,765 Neal's home! 1090 01:25:40,835 --> 01:25:43,197 Del Griffith, I want you to meet my father-in-law, Walt... 1091 01:25:43,271 --> 01:25:44,834 - ...my mother-in-law, Peg... - Hi. 1092 01:25:44,906 --> 01:25:46,173 - ...my mother, Joy... - Hello. 1093 01:25:46,206 --> 01:25:48,073 - ...and my dad Martin. - How are you doing son? 1094 01:25:48,103 --> 01:25:49,000 - Welcome, Del. - Pleased to meet you, sir. 1095 01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,900 - This little guy's Neal Jr... - Hello. 1096 01:25:50,946 --> 01:25:52,779 - ...my little gem, Marti... - Hi. 1097 01:25:52,847 --> 01:25:56,000 and somewhere around here is my little baby boy, Seth. 1098 01:26:10,563 --> 01:26:13,027 Honey, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. 1099 01:26:17,872 --> 01:26:20,204 Hello, Mr. Griffith. 1100 01:26:21,376 --> 01:26:23,367 Hello, Mrs. Page. 1101 01:32:08,823 --> 01:32:10,256 Here's two. 1102 01:32:20,835 --> 01:32:22,268 You're three. 75305

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