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1
00:00:08,702 --> 00:00:10,835
after what you did to me last night.
2
00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:13,519
What the hell are you talking about?
3
00:00:13,408 --> 00:00:14,774
Right. Sheldon.
4
00:00:14,721 --> 00:00:16,287
I thought you were someone else.
5
00:00:17,281 --> 00:00:18,347
Sheldon.
6
00:00:18,306 --> 00:00:20,573
What are you doing here? Are you lost?
7
00:00:20,483 --> 00:00:22,249
Do I need a reason
8
00:00:22,179 --> 00:00:25,113
to drop by my favourite little tea shop?
9
00:00:24,996 --> 00:00:26,329
I just came in
10
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:29,111
to take in all this... Great stuff.
11
00:00:28,999 --> 00:00:32,000
And do I hear gongs?
12
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,546
They're Tibetan Peace Bells.
13
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:34,712
Even better!
14
00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:37,366
I love the tibetans. Snappy dressers.
15
00:00:37,258 --> 00:00:38,391
And you know what?
16
00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:39,645
Why don't you give me a hit
17
00:00:39,595 --> 00:00:42,596
of whatever you got brewing right in there?
18
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:46,445
And, man, those bells just
keep on ringing, don't they?
19
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,038
This is from our premier line.
20
00:00:48,975 --> 00:00:50,408
It's made from durian fruit.
21
00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:56,901
Yummy.
22
00:00:56,819 --> 00:00:57,985
Really?
23
00:00:57,939 --> 00:01:01,207
Look, I... I've gotta tell ya, Kim,
24
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:03,477
this is really quite the place.
25
00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:05,748
But you know what'd make it perfect?
26
00:01:05,654 --> 00:01:07,587
A brand-new display case.
27
00:01:07,511 --> 00:01:08,944
You know, somethin'
28
00:01:08,888 --> 00:01:10,321
seven feet long,
29
00:01:10,264 --> 00:01:11,997
four feet wide,
30
00:01:11,929 --> 00:01:13,896
beautiful satin interior,
31
00:01:13,818 --> 00:01:15,951
worm proof finish.
32
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,802
I'm not buying one of your big-and-tall
caskets, Sheldon.
33
00:01:18,685 --> 00:01:20,283
Come on! I can give you a fantastic deal.
34
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,086
It's a return.
35
00:01:22,013 --> 00:01:23,980
A returned casket?
36
00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:25,902
Look, relax. It's not what you think.
37
00:01:25,823 --> 00:01:28,257
The guy was only in it, what, 10 minutes?
38
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,794
The tags are still on it!
39
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,456
Pass.
40
00:01:32,386 --> 00:01:34,653
For cr...
41
00:01:34,563 --> 00:01:37,463
if you come in here
again, I'm gonna call the cops.
42
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:39,381
No, I'm Sheldon.
43
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:42,201
I know.
44
00:01:47,823 --> 00:01:51,745
sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.MY-SUBS.com
45
00:01:55,179 --> 00:01:56,979
Danny's not here yet?
46
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,675
I'll just wait outside.
47
00:01:58,606 --> 00:02:00,238
What, you don't want to join us?
48
00:02:00,174 --> 00:02:02,542
Yeah, no, I'd...I'd love to,
49
00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:06,282
I just thought it might be
nice to stand outside in the cold.
50
00:02:06,128 --> 00:02:07,794
Relax, sit down.
51
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:08,795
Ryan just found out
52
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,487
his ex-wife has a Wikipedia page,
53
00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:11,650
and it's...
54
00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:14,037
...Not bothering him at all.
55
00:02:13,941 --> 00:02:15,540
Would you look at this, please?
56
00:02:15,477 --> 00:02:17,810
That's her?
57
00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:20,451
Surgeon, Mountain-Climber, philanthropist.
58
00:02:20,343 --> 00:02:22,242
No wonder you're still hung up on her.
59
00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:24,001
I'm not saying she's not amazing.
60
00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:25,293
We all know she's amazing.
61
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,140
This. I'm talking about this.
62
00:02:27,065 --> 00:02:30,166
"After an unsuccessful
marriage of five years..."
63
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:32,076
Yes! But to whom?
64
00:02:33,564 --> 00:02:36,698
"Unsuccessful marriage" to whom?
65
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:40,355
No, look. You're mentioned right here.
66
00:02:40,255 --> 00:02:42,722
"Romantically linked to Ryan..."
67
00:02:42,624 --> 00:02:43,689
Reynolds.
68
00:02:45,634 --> 00:02:47,466
Hi, guys.
69
00:02:47,394 --> 00:02:49,562
Who died?
70
00:02:49,476 --> 00:02:50,942
And was he fat?
71
00:02:50,885 --> 00:02:53,518
And does he need a casket?
72
00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:56,714
No, I was just handed this.
73
00:02:56,582 --> 00:02:58,282
My new court-appointed case.
74
00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,583
I'm supposed to defend Wayne Hilicky.
75
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:02,422
He's been charged with armed robbery.
76
00:03:02,345 --> 00:03:04,345
Who's Wayne Hilicky?
77
00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:06,333
That's some kid Danny grew up with.
78
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,550
There was a little problem with bullying.
79
00:03:09,547 --> 00:03:11,080
And now you have to defend the guy
80
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,519
who used to beat you up?
81
00:03:12,461 --> 00:03:13,528
Ha!
82
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:15,118
My bro didn't take any beat-downs.
83
00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:17,555
He was the one that was doing the pounding!
84
00:03:17,456 --> 00:03:20,890
Yeah, right!
85
00:03:23,442 --> 00:03:24,707
Really?
86
00:03:24,658 --> 00:03:26,791
You're serious?
87
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,340
Danny was a bully?
88
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,877
Well, he wasn't a bully, all right?
89
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:32,406
It was an isolated incident.
90
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,142
He beat Wayne up once.
91
00:03:34,071 --> 00:03:35,470
A day.
92
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:38,215
For most of seventh grade.
93
00:03:38,104 --> 00:03:39,571
My Danny?
94
00:03:39,513 --> 00:03:42,747
What did he do? Tickle him till he cried?
95
00:03:42,618 --> 00:03:43,817
Wait a minute.
96
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:45,002
You don't think Danny
could be a good bully?
97
00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:46,655
Danny was a great bully!
98
00:03:46,589 --> 00:03:48,188
I wish he'd kept it up.
99
00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:50,526
I'm not proud of it, okay?
100
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,629
I was going through a rough time.
101
00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:53,674
After our parents died,
102
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,730
Danny was angry at the entire world.
103
00:03:55,647 --> 00:03:58,181
But since you can't punch the entire world,
104
00:03:58,081 --> 00:04:00,148
he punched Wayne.
105
00:04:00,066 --> 00:04:01,098
Look, the whole Hilicky thing
106
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:04,059
is one of my biggest regrets in life.
107
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,339
Come on, Danny. Kids fight?
108
00:04:06,244 --> 00:04:09,278
I remember there was this one nerd
109
00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:12,858
I used to push down into the
ravine behind the school.
110
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,777
Took me eight hours to climb out.
111
00:04:15,912 --> 00:04:17,345
I threw you a rope.
112
00:04:17,289 --> 00:04:20,423
You attached it to a squirrel.
113
00:04:20,298 --> 00:04:21,698
What am I supposed to do?
114
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:23,143
I mean, how can I face this guy?
115
00:04:23,085 --> 00:04:24,650
He must hate me.
116
00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:25,687
Danny you're looking at
this all wrong, okay?
117
00:04:25,645 --> 00:04:28,112
This is an opportunity to make amends.
118
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:29,146
For closure.
119
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,802
Or at the very least,
120
00:04:30,735 --> 00:04:32,968
take another whack at him.
121
00:04:32,879 --> 00:04:35,013
Look, all I'm saying
122
00:04:34,929 --> 00:04:36,729
is that by helping Wayne
overcome his troubles,
123
00:04:36,658 --> 00:04:38,624
you could overcome your own.
124
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,246
To face yourself, forgive.
125
00:04:42,355 --> 00:04:44,256
Wow.
126
00:04:44,181 --> 00:04:46,348
That was really profound.
127
00:04:46,262 --> 00:04:49,163
Thank you. I got it off
Alison's Wikipedia page.
128
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:50,580
It was an unpublished poem.
129
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,855
But an unpublished poem written by whom?
130
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:04,407
Wayne Hilicky?
131
00:05:04,349 --> 00:05:06,549
Yeah.
132
00:05:06,462 --> 00:05:07,795
I've been assigned to represent you.
133
00:05:07,743 --> 00:05:09,309
You may not remember me,
134
00:05:09,248 --> 00:05:10,546
but...
135
00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:18,256
Well, if it isn't Danny White.
136
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,579
Well, come here, you!
137
00:05:26,983 --> 00:05:28,984
Wow. I haven't seen you since...
138
00:05:28,904 --> 00:05:30,336
Since I punched you in the nose
139
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,512
by the bike rack?
140
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,498
Ha! I guess so.
141
00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:35,185
Good times.
142
00:05:35,115 --> 00:05:36,114
Good times?
143
00:05:36,076 --> 00:05:37,575
I ran over you with my bike.
144
00:05:37,516 --> 00:05:39,416
That was wild.
145
00:05:39,341 --> 00:05:40,873
I locked you in your locker.
146
00:05:40,813 --> 00:05:42,846
Kids?
147
00:05:43,694 --> 00:05:45,260
Well, I am here to make it up to you
148
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:47,933
with the best defense you could ask for.
149
00:05:47,824 --> 00:05:49,890
Why? You don't owe me anything.
150
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,642
It was a little pushing and shoving.
151
00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:52,602
We were kids.
152
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:53,929
Really?
153
00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:55,275
It's forgotten.
154
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,852
In fact, who are you?
155
00:05:56,788 --> 00:05:59,588
I don't remember, because it's forgotten.
156
00:06:00,565 --> 00:06:03,934
You don't know what a relief this is!
157
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:06,032
I wanted to apologize to you that summer,
158
00:06:05,944 --> 00:06:08,445
but you never came back
to school the next year.
159
00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:10,245
Yeah, well, I had to spend
160
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,868
a little bit of time in the hospital.
161
00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:14,603
Started getting these brutal headaches.
162
00:06:14,492 --> 00:06:15,790
They say
163
00:06:15,739 --> 00:06:17,974
it was from a blow to the head.
164
00:06:17,886 --> 00:06:19,618
Like when I punched you?
165
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:22,285
What? No! Of course not.
166
00:06:22,176 --> 00:06:25,177
It's from where my head hit the pavement.
167
00:06:25,057 --> 00:06:26,489
After you punched me.
168
00:06:28,738 --> 00:06:30,571
But it all worked out.
169
00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:33,166
After an agonizing year of recovery,
170
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,393
I went back to school,
got myself a great job,
171
00:06:35,301 --> 00:06:36,967
even got my own little cubicle.
172
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:38,366
Good for you!
173
00:06:38,309 --> 00:06:39,475
But I lost it.
174
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:43,383
Due to my childhood
fear of confined spaces.
175
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,472
Like lockers?
176
00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:46,558
I never thought of that.
177
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:50,041
But then I married the girl of my dreams.
178
00:06:49,899 --> 00:06:52,032
I feel like I
shouldn't get my hopes up here.
179
00:06:51,948 --> 00:06:52,847
She left me.
180
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,611
I think it was because of
181
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,207
my violent night terrors.
182
00:06:57,357 --> 00:06:59,158
But I am not gonna let that get me down.
183
00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:00,619
As far as I'm concerned,
184
00:07:00,559 --> 00:07:02,559
the world is still a pretty sweet fruit.
185
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,680
I assume.
186
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,666
I lost my sense of
taste with the head injury.
187
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:07,833
Good to see you again, Danny.
188
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:08,794
It brings it all back.
189
00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:11,121
Yeah. Sure does.
190
00:07:16,214 --> 00:07:17,781
Hey, hon.
191
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:18,718
Hey, babe.
192
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,779
Mwah.
193
00:07:19,736 --> 00:07:21,036
- What's going on?
- Not much.
194
00:07:20,985 --> 00:07:22,850
Then who's the half-naked man
195
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:24,077
standing by the washing machine.
196
00:07:26,393 --> 00:07:27,627
That's Wayne.
197
00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:28,845
Hey, Danny!
198
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,864
I think my shoes melted in your dryer.
199
00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:40,306
I know it seems unorthodox,
200
00:07:40,231 --> 00:07:41,530
but he couldn't make bail.
201
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,280
So you're letting him live here?
202
00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:44,475
It's not like a stray dog.
203
00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:46,258
You can't bring every
criminal home with you.
204
00:07:46,186 --> 00:07:47,718
After everything I put Wayne through,
205
00:07:47,658 --> 00:07:50,225
the least I can do is make him comfortable.
206
00:07:50,123 --> 00:07:51,355
Which is hard.
207
00:07:51,307 --> 00:07:53,307
He has a lot of allergies.
208
00:07:53,228 --> 00:07:55,128
He's not a well man.
209
00:07:55,053 --> 00:07:56,219
Really?
210
00:07:56,174 --> 00:07:58,975
That is so sad to hear.
211
00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:00,496
Well, keep me posted.
212
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:02,619
Dammit!
213
00:08:02,576 --> 00:08:04,510
A whole busload of basketball players
214
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:05,665
goes off a bridge,
215
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:07,284
and they all live.
216
00:08:08,914 --> 00:08:13,084
Even The Chubby Towel Boy.
217
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:15,317
His man-boobs went
off like air-bags.
218
00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:18,076
What are you doing?
219
00:08:18,007 --> 00:08:20,374
Editing Alison's Wikipedia page.
220
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,612
What? You can do that?
221
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,592
Anyone can do it.
222
00:08:22,553 --> 00:08:24,787
That's what keeps them honest.
223
00:08:24,698 --> 00:08:26,798
In fact, if I wanted to say
224
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,515
she was a puppy-kicking hermaphrodite,
225
00:08:28,444 --> 00:08:30,577
I could totally do that.
226
00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:32,593
You're going to put in there
227
00:08:32,509 --> 00:08:33,442
that you were married
228
00:08:33,407 --> 00:08:36,452
to a puppy-kicking hermaphrodite?
229
00:08:41,185 --> 00:08:43,051
Danny? Where's the plunger?
230
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:45,045
Under the sink, Wayne.
231
00:08:44,963 --> 00:08:47,030
Where you left it last time.
232
00:08:46,948 --> 00:08:49,849
Wayne Hilicky is here?
233
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:52,333
Yeah. He's staying with Danny.
234
00:08:52,229 --> 00:08:53,828
He had no place to go.
235
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:54,765
I'm trying to make amends,
236
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:56,426
like Ryan said.
237
00:08:56,359 --> 00:08:57,525
Are you crazy?
238
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,514
What if that jailbird stabs
you in your sleep?
239
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:01,632
Shh! Sheldon, he might hear you.
240
00:09:01,545 --> 00:09:03,779
I don't care! I don't sleep here.
241
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,307
I just think you're crossing a line, Danny.
242
00:09:07,244 --> 00:09:09,745
You're probably right.
243
00:09:09,646 --> 00:09:13,581
Hey, sorry about your shower door.
244
00:09:13,423 --> 00:09:16,323
Don't have the same inner
ear I used to have as a kid.
245
00:09:19,185 --> 00:09:21,453
You know, Wayne, I was thinking.
246
00:09:21,363 --> 00:09:22,694
Maybe it would be best
247
00:09:22,642 --> 00:09:24,309
if you found your own place to stay.
248
00:09:24,244 --> 00:09:26,244
Sure, buddy. I don't want to impose.
249
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,764
I'll just go back to the shelter.
250
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,234
Shelter?
251
00:09:29,174 --> 00:09:30,707
Yeah. Really nice one.
252
00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:32,179
Very few stabbings.
253
00:09:32,119 --> 00:09:34,219
Anyways, I should go
254
00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:35,969
before they run out of soup.
255
00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:37,896
Thanks for everything, Danny.
256
00:09:38,904 --> 00:09:40,339
Wait! Wayne!
257
00:09:41,658 --> 00:09:43,926
Don't go. Stay.
258
00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,669
And how do you feel about steak?
259
00:09:45,597 --> 00:09:47,497
I love it.
260
00:09:47,422 --> 00:09:51,324
I don't really taste
it, but I love the texture.
261
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,681
So?
262
00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:58,811
Does this say "Happy Hour" or what?
263
00:10:01,764 --> 00:10:03,897
Sheldon...
264
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:05,546
That's a coffin.
265
00:10:05,478 --> 00:10:08,311
Well, you certainly don't miss a beat.
266
00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:11,600
And I am required by law to inform you
267
00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:14,431
that it has... ever so briefly...
268
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:19,049
been in contact with actual human remains.
269
00:10:18,859 --> 00:10:20,559
But take my word for it,
270
00:10:20,492 --> 00:10:23,926
these coffin bars are huge in Japan!
271
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:27,810
That's not the same ice that
the body was on, is it?
272
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:31,363
Bodies, beer. It's all the same.
273
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:40,550
Danny? Are you okay?
274
00:10:40,468 --> 00:10:42,034
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. Just working.
275
00:10:41,973 --> 00:10:43,340
Ask me anything you want
276
00:10:43,286 --> 00:10:44,885
about case law concerning armed robbery,
277
00:10:44,823 --> 00:10:46,256
and I mean anything.
278
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:50,664
Um, weren't we supposed
to go on a date tonight?
279
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,154
Of course. Absolutely. I wouldn't miss it.
280
00:10:53,049 --> 00:10:54,082
What time's the movie?
281
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:55,041
Two hours ago.
282
00:10:56,217 --> 00:10:57,952
But Wayne and I loved it.
283
00:10:57,884 --> 00:10:59,850
I'm sorry I stuck you with Wayne.
284
00:10:59,772 --> 00:11:00,771
No! It's okay.
285
00:11:00,732 --> 00:11:02,566
He's actually a good listener.
286
00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:04,427
As long as you're
sitting on his right side.
287
00:11:04,351 --> 00:11:05,550
He's a little deaf in one ear
288
00:11:05,503 --> 00:11:06,702
from that infection he got
289
00:11:06,655 --> 00:11:09,155
when you stuck his head in the toilet.
290
00:11:09,056 --> 00:11:12,190
I forgot about that one.
291
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:13,264
I'm sorry I got caught up,
292
00:11:13,218 --> 00:11:15,319
but I think I might've found a precedent.
293
00:11:15,235 --> 00:11:19,036
In 1865, a bandit held
up a delivery of manure
294
00:11:18,884 --> 00:11:20,984
with an unloaded musket, and they...
295
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:23,201
Hung him.
296
00:11:24,488 --> 00:11:27,454
Danny, you know I admire what you're doing,
297
00:11:27,336 --> 00:11:28,635
but enough is enough.
298
00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:30,050
You don't understand.
299
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,694
I'm not going to forgive myself
unless I get Wayne off the hook.
300
00:11:32,586 --> 00:11:33,619
It's my only option.
301
00:11:33,579 --> 00:11:35,712
I got a secret weapon.
302
00:11:37,516 --> 00:11:38,882
Wow.
303
00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:41,096
I've been saying you
need a new suit for court.
304
00:11:41,006 --> 00:11:42,138
It's not for me. It's for Wayne.
305
00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:45,162
A man in a suit just looks less guilty.
306
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,173
You bought Wayne a custom-made suit?
307
00:11:47,088 --> 00:11:48,755
Yeah. He can't wear anything off the rack
308
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:51,223
due to his lazy spine.
309
00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:55,558
All right. I did my best.
310
00:11:55,445 --> 00:11:56,443
I'm going home.
311
00:11:56,404 --> 00:11:58,137
No, no, wait, don't go yet.
312
00:11:59,062 --> 00:12:02,029
Can I borrow some money?
313
00:12:01,911 --> 00:12:03,577
I'm tapped out,
314
00:12:03,511 --> 00:12:05,178
between the bail, the suit, and the Botox.
315
00:12:05,113 --> 00:12:08,047
Don't ask.
316
00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:09,897
I want that thing out of here.
317
00:12:09,819 --> 00:12:12,518
You know what? You're right.
318
00:12:12,411 --> 00:12:13,744
I agree with you.
319
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,025
But let me ask you something.
320
00:12:15,932 --> 00:12:17,599
Do you have kids?
321
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:19,467
Yeah.
322
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,456
Okay, check it out.
323
00:12:20,415 --> 00:12:22,549
You get rid of the ice,
324
00:12:22,465 --> 00:12:23,564
you dump your rugrats in here,
325
00:12:23,521 --> 00:12:25,354
and is this or is this not
326
00:12:25,282 --> 00:12:28,482
the best little playpen you've
ever seen in your life?
327
00:12:28,354 --> 00:12:29,486
But wait! There's more!
328
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,133
For an extra $800,
329
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,720
I'm gonna febreeze it!
330
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,687
For free.
331
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,357
How's he doing?
332
00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:48,440
Amazing.
333
00:12:48,396 --> 00:12:50,362
He made two eye-witnesses cry.
334
00:12:50,284 --> 00:12:52,351
And he got the security tapes thrown out
335
00:12:52,269 --> 00:12:54,002
because they were black and white,
336
00:12:53,934 --> 00:12:56,234
which he somehow convinced them was racist.
337
00:12:57,647 --> 00:12:59,279
That's our boy.
338
00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:01,449
Give 'em hell, Danny!
339
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,297
Go get them, kiddo.
340
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,815
Your honour.
341
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:15,159
We've heard a lot of "Proof" today
342
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,130
about what Wayne Hilicky was going to do
343
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:20,374
that crisp September evening.
344
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,681
But the truth is,
345
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:25,053
we'll never know what he was going to do,
346
00:13:24,955 --> 00:13:27,656
because before he actually did anything,
347
00:13:27,549 --> 00:13:29,448
he was pushed to the ground
348
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:32,874
by a violent thug of a cashier.
349
00:13:35,007 --> 00:13:37,108
Everyone just assumed,
350
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,491
because of his grubby appearance,
351
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:41,968
that he was there to commit a crime.
352
00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:43,293
To them, I say this...
353
00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:46,202
"You're funny, says your wife."
354
00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:49,686
"Your monkey plays the fife."
355
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:53,042
"Your money or your life."
356
00:13:52,902 --> 00:13:55,737
They all sound very similar, don't they?
357
00:13:58,055 --> 00:14:00,723
The world has never
smiled on Wayne Hilicky.
358
00:14:00,617 --> 00:14:02,684
The world pushed him down,
359
00:14:02,603 --> 00:14:05,037
and the world stole his lunch money.
360
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:07,306
The world pantsed him in
front of susie Doyle.
361
00:14:07,212 --> 00:14:09,813
She never touched a man after that.
362
00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:12,062
This isn't the first time
363
00:14:12,014 --> 00:14:14,848
the world has pushed Wayne Hilicky around,
364
00:14:14,736 --> 00:14:16,970
and I know, if you look hard enough,
365
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:20,315
you'll see Wayne Hilicky is good.
366
00:14:20,178 --> 00:14:22,345
Wayne Hilicky
367
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:24,125
is decent.
368
00:14:24,052 --> 00:14:26,052
Above all,
369
00:14:25,972 --> 00:14:29,240
Wayne Hilicky
370
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,343
is...
371
00:14:32,216 --> 00:14:34,149
Dead?
372
00:14:39,353 --> 00:14:41,455
Yeah.
373
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:47,449
Still.
374
00:14:47,479 --> 00:14:50,279
One hell of a closing argument.
375
00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:52,235
You know, if Wayne hadn't died,
376
00:14:52,153 --> 00:14:54,952
you would've gotten all
those charges thrown out.
377
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,374
I ruined the man's life,
378
00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:58,881
and now I can never make it up to him.
379
00:14:58,779 --> 00:15:01,046
You did the best you could.
380
00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:03,190
What more could Wayne have asked for?
381
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:05,301
Not to die?
382
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:07,714
Penniless and on trial?
383
00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:09,080
Well, maybe if your closing statement
384
00:15:09,023 --> 00:15:10,923
had just been a little shorter.
385
00:15:13,152 --> 00:15:15,587
I thought it was beautiful, Danny.
386
00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:18,558
You know what might help give you closure?
387
00:15:18,436 --> 00:15:22,238
If you said a few words at his funeral.
388
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:25,820
Or throw him the nicest
funeral anyone's ever had!
389
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:29,872
Not to take advantage of
a tragic situation, but...
390
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,589
I can give you a sweet deal
391
00:15:32,522 --> 00:15:34,287
on a pre-owned casket.
392
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,602
Danny, this is amazing.
393
00:15:41,518 --> 00:15:43,484
You did a great job.
394
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:46,040
The room and the flowers.
395
00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:47,836
And the mugshot?
396
00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:50,316
I wanted to use the surveillance photo
397
00:15:50,258 --> 00:15:51,356
from the convenience store,
398
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:53,081
but I couldn't Photoshop the gun out.
399
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,456
Wayne looks tiny.
400
00:15:58,356 --> 00:16:00,723
What is all the stuff around him?
401
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,129
These? These are,
402
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:03,437
packing peanuts.
403
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:04,649
Well, I don't want him
404
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,600
to roll around in here and get hurt.
405
00:16:06,521 --> 00:16:08,321
And by the way,
406
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,216
I sold these to you at cost.
407
00:16:11,098 --> 00:16:13,432
The humiliation never
ends for the guy, does it?
408
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:16,874
I still feel like I failed him.
409
00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:17,699
I can't believe this is happening.
410
00:16:19,614 --> 00:16:22,449
Alison totally deleted the
stuff I put on her Wikipedia page.
411
00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:24,369
She's obsessed with me! It's sad, really.
412
00:16:24,288 --> 00:16:25,954
Ryan...
413
00:16:25,889 --> 00:16:28,756
Would you stop thinking about yourself?
414
00:16:28,642 --> 00:16:29,909
This is a funeral.
415
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:32,425
My first big funeral, and
you're bumming me out.
416
00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,925
Get over here and take some pictures of me
417
00:16:34,822 --> 00:16:36,788
in front of my casket.
418
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,535
So sad.
419
00:16:43,465 --> 00:16:45,465
He was much too young.
420
00:16:47,338 --> 00:16:50,373
Honey, if Wayne were here,
421
00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:51,719
he'd be very pleased.
422
00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:52,860
I don't know.
423
00:16:52,814 --> 00:16:54,380
He was allergic to flowers.
424
00:16:54,318 --> 00:16:56,484
And packing peanuts.
425
00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:58,532
You must be Danny.
426
00:16:58,448 --> 00:17:01,615
I'm Wayne's brother, Dwayne.
427
00:17:03,121 --> 00:17:05,022
My brother and I weren't close.
428
00:17:04,947 --> 00:17:06,847
He had a lot of issues.
429
00:17:06,772 --> 00:17:08,839
It seemed to all start
for him in seventh grade.
430
00:17:08,757 --> 00:17:09,956
I am so sorry!
431
00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:15,493
For your loss.
432
00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:18,182
He's sorry for your loss.
433
00:17:18,072 --> 00:17:20,806
I just wanted to say
thanks for paying for all this.
434
00:17:20,697 --> 00:17:22,597
If there's ever anything I
can do to make it up to you,
435
00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:24,922
just, just let me know.
436
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,815
I don't believe it.
437
00:17:29,694 --> 00:17:31,293
I know.
438
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,563
Who names their kids Wayne and Dwayne?
439
00:17:34,783 --> 00:17:38,853
I just got thanked for
ruining a man's life.
440
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:41,324
You know, I thought giving
Wayne the perfect funeral
441
00:17:41,219 --> 00:17:42,417
would give me closure,
442
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,337
but if anything, I feel worse.
443
00:17:44,259 --> 00:17:47,494
I know you feel sorry that
Wayne had some tough times,
444
00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:48,965
but so did you.
445
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,002
You were 12 when your parents died,
446
00:17:50,919 --> 00:17:52,285
and you had to be raised by those two.
447
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:56,951
Thanks.
448
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,427
But I just think I'd feel better
449
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,863
if I could go back to that schoolyard
450
00:18:01,803 --> 00:18:03,302
and let him punch me back,
451
00:18:03,243 --> 00:18:04,643
even though I specifically called
452
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:06,421
no punch-backs.
453
00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:08,349
Wait a minute.
454
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,003
That gives me an idea.
455
00:18:09,935 --> 00:18:11,335
Dwayne?
456
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,012
Yeah?
457
00:18:12,944 --> 00:18:14,277
You said I should let you know
458
00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:15,390
if there was anything you could ever do.
459
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,944
Of course. Anything.
460
00:18:16,882 --> 00:18:17,814
Great.
461
00:18:17,778 --> 00:18:18,877
Well, I would really appreciate it
462
00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,701
if you could...
463
00:18:20,627 --> 00:18:22,860
Punch me in the face as hard as you can.
464
00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:24,939
Danny, um...
465
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,853
What are you doing? Guys?
466
00:18:26,774 --> 00:18:28,240
I'm trying to make this right.
467
00:18:28,183 --> 00:18:29,548
I'm not going to hit you.
468
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:30,460
Why would I?
469
00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:32,423
I'll make it worth your while.
470
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:33,477
How does a hundred bucks sound?
471
00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:35,266
- Danny!
- Sorry. No.
472
00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:36,460
500 bucks!
473
00:18:36,411 --> 00:18:37,443
I'll hit you for 200.
474
00:18:37,403 --> 00:18:40,170
I used to do it for free!
475
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:42,828
That was me.
476
00:18:42,717 --> 00:18:44,916
I know this sounds odd, but please,
477
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:47,697
it would really mean a lot to me.
478
00:18:47,583 --> 00:18:50,484
Well, I...I guess I could use the money,
479
00:18:50,369 --> 00:18:52,168
if you're sure.
480
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,229
I am.
481
00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:56,282
Danny, um...
482
00:18:56,195 --> 00:18:57,161
You don't want to do this.
483
00:18:57,124 --> 00:18:58,056
I really do.
484
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,419
Look, I deserve to get punched.
485
00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,430
I've deserved it for a long time.
486
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,949
Yeah, I'm more worried about
what my therapist calls
487
00:19:03,846 --> 00:19:05,212
the "Reflexive defense" response.
488
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:06,191
What's that?
489
00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:16,516
Yeah, it's really difficult to take a punch
490
00:19:16,395 --> 00:19:18,528
and not automatically defend yourself.
491
00:19:18,444 --> 00:19:19,610
Cool.
492
00:19:19,565 --> 00:19:21,498
We should probably go.
493
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:22,954
What have I done?
494
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:25,428
And we're walking, we're walking...
495
00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:31,948
Again, so sorry for your loss.
496
00:19:38,516 --> 00:19:39,616
Here. Let me look at that.
497
00:19:39,573 --> 00:19:41,807
Yeah...
498
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:43,552
Looks like you're still an idiot.
499
00:19:44,694 --> 00:19:47,129
I can't believe I hit another Hilicky.
500
00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:49,099
Maybe it's just me,
501
00:19:49,017 --> 00:19:51,384
but, you know, I
thought things went really well.
502
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,890
Not without a hitch,
503
00:19:52,827 --> 00:19:55,527
but overall, a good day.
504
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,160
Hey, check this out.
505
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:00,642
Alison finally put me
on her Wikipedia page.
506
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:02,308
"From 2007 to 2012,
507
00:20:02,238 --> 00:20:03,538
Alison was married
508
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:04,853
to an anal-retentive pain-in-the-ass
house-husband
509
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,933
named Ryan White."
510
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,702
About time I got a little respect!
511
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:15,302
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