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(upbeat music)
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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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00:00:03,397 --> 00:00:06,957
- Good evening, good
afternoon, good morning!
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00:00:06,957 --> 00:00:09,397
Now you see those greetings work two fold.
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:12,168
Firstly, because this is
an international stream,
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00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:14,926
so we have audience members
from all around the world,
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00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:17,517
different countries, different time zones.
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00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,979
Hello, (speaks in foreign language)
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00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,606
And secondly, because I
have absolutely no idea
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00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,619
what time of day it is anymore.
12
00:00:24,619 --> 00:00:29,236
But welcome to the theater,
live in your living room.
13
00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:30,153
How quaint.
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00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:34,667
Now here at the the
Chateau du Theatre Digital.
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00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:37,616
We have slightly different
rules to most theaters.
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00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:38,845
For example, we can't ask you
17
00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:40,656
to turn off your electronic devices,
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00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:42,764
'cause you wouldn't be able
to watch the darned thing.
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00:00:42,764 --> 00:00:45,077
So instead we ask that you keep them on,
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00:00:45,077 --> 00:00:46,496
you turn them up loud
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00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:48,445
and you tweet along with the show
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00:00:48,445 --> 00:00:52,005
using the hashtag #firstdatemusical.
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00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:54,146
I know, shameless.
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00:00:54,146 --> 00:00:54,979
Speaking of shameless,
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00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,347
if there's any single guys out there
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00:00:57,347 --> 00:01:00,525
who might feel lonely after
watching this romantic musical,
27
00:01:00,525 --> 00:01:04,763
please know that my DMs are
open and I am desperate.
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00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:07,573
Now, there will be one brief intermission
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00:01:07,573 --> 00:01:11,740
or as the Brits call it,
an interval or wine time.
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00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:17,467
So, enjoy this American
musical brought to you entirely
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00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:21,845
by British actors in the
middle of a global pandemic.
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00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,444
And if you don't enjoy
it, well, screw you.
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00:01:24,444 --> 00:01:25,944
We worked so hard.
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00:01:27,197 --> 00:01:29,895
Now, pour yourself a glass of wine,
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00:01:29,895 --> 00:01:33,812
fill your face with
snacks, and enjoy the show.
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00:01:36,176 --> 00:01:39,176
(upbeat rock music)
37
00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:41,607
♪ How does it start ♪
38
00:02:41,607 --> 00:02:43,399
♪ How does it last ♪
39
00:02:43,399 --> 00:02:46,539
♪ It's a miracle two people get together ♪
40
00:02:46,539 --> 00:02:49,880
♪ How does your heart choose who to cast ♪
41
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,179
♪ In a partner for the
night or for forever ♪
42
00:02:53,179 --> 00:02:56,440
♪ Every date you go on
is feeling like a chore ♪
43
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,528
♪ Can you trust your judgment
when it's been so poor ♪
44
00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:01,127
♪ You've gotten burned ♪
45
00:03:01,127 --> 00:03:02,150
♪ Wish you could run ♪
46
00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:03,680
♪ But if you do ♪
47
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,248
♪ Then you'll never ever find the one ♪
48
00:03:06,248 --> 00:03:08,559
♪ The one ♪
49
00:03:08,559 --> 00:03:13,559
♪ Are you ever gonna find the one ♪
50
00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,990
♪ How will it go ♪
51
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,539
♪ Where will it lead ♪
52
00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:20,640
♪ Will tonight become a
lifetime full of magic ♪
53
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,139
♪ Go with the flow ♪
54
00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:23,870
♪ You might succeed ♪
55
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,099
♪ Meeting someone you don't
think is fuckin' tragic ♪
56
00:03:27,099 --> 00:03:30,268
♪ Will the minutes feel
like hours, even years ♪
57
00:03:30,268 --> 00:03:33,488
♪ Or will you connect and
share your deepest fears ♪
58
00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:36,579
♪ It's so damn hard and so not fun ♪
59
00:03:36,579 --> 00:03:37,659
♪ Still you go on ♪
60
00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:42,531
♪ In that endless search
to find the one, the one ♪
61
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:47,531
♪ Are you ever gonna find the one ♪
62
00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:50,550
♪ How do you stay optimistic ♪
63
00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:54,160
♪ When there are so many ways to fail ♪
64
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,008
♪ Don't wanna be another statistic ♪
65
00:03:57,008 --> 00:04:00,429
♪ Who didn't get the fairy tale ♪
66
00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:05,429
♪ Where the hell's the fairy tale ♪
67
00:04:06,048 --> 00:04:07,667
♪ Dating's a bitch it's such a bitch ♪
68
00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,438
♪ Dating's unfair it's so unfair ♪
69
00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:12,538
♪ It's like a battle where you
find out what you're made of ♪
70
00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:13,408
♪ Wish you could ditch ♪
71
00:04:13,408 --> 00:04:14,241
♪ Let's ditch ♪
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00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:15,074
♪ This cruel affair ♪
73
00:04:15,074 --> 00:04:15,907
♪ This affair ♪
74
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:19,238
♪ The stakes are high and
there's so much to be afraid of ♪
75
00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:22,427
♪ When you're far from perfect
stuck in your own way ♪
76
00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:25,436
♪ All your baggage keeps
your chance of love at bay ♪
77
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:26,878
♪ And so until ♪
78
00:04:26,878 --> 00:04:28,448
♪ The game is done ♪
79
00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:31,928
♪ You hold out hope that
before you lose your mind ♪
80
00:04:31,928 --> 00:04:35,158
♪ You'll meet your match and
won't end up left behind ♪
81
00:04:35,158 --> 00:04:38,718
♪ Maybe tonight is the night
you're gonna find the one ♪
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00:04:38,718 --> 00:04:39,551
♪ The one ♪
83
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:40,384
♪ The one ♪
84
00:04:40,384 --> 00:04:41,217
♪ The one ♪
85
00:04:41,217 --> 00:04:43,546
♪ Could tonight be when you find the one ♪
86
00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:44,379
♪ The one ♪
87
00:04:44,379 --> 00:04:45,212
♪ The one ♪
88
00:04:45,212 --> 00:04:46,045
♪ The one ♪
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00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:50,358
♪ Could tonight be when you find the one ♪
90
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:53,275
(soft piano music)
91
00:05:00,658 --> 00:05:02,866
(sighs)
92
00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,448
- Hi.
- Hey.
93
00:05:04,448 --> 00:05:06,948
- Are you waiting for a table?
94
00:05:07,804 --> 00:05:08,637
- You know what?
95
00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:09,949
I'm gonna wait and see
how the drinks portion
96
00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:10,927
of the evening goes first
97
00:05:10,927 --> 00:05:12,687
and then we'll see how it goes from there.
98
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,658
I don't wanna be too presumptuous.
99
00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:14,491
You know what I mean?
100
00:05:14,491 --> 00:05:15,324
(Waiter laughs)
101
00:05:15,324 --> 00:05:17,235
- Well, can I get you
something while you wait?
102
00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:18,818
Beer, vodka, Xanax?
103
00:05:20,846 --> 00:05:21,937
- I'll just have a beer please.
104
00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:23,566
Yeah, does that sound right?
105
00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:26,646
Yes, I will have a beer, thank you.
106
00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,425
- Do you care what kind?
107
00:05:28,425 --> 00:05:29,585
- Just something on tap.
108
00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:32,985
In a big glass, a big, big manly glass.
109
00:05:32,985 --> 00:05:36,566
- Oh, (laughs) so this
is a first date, huh?
110
00:05:36,566 --> 00:05:39,153
- Yeah, is it that obvious?
111
00:05:39,153 --> 00:05:41,745
- Well, you got pretty
dressed up for it, didn't you?
112
00:05:41,745 --> 00:05:43,435
- Yeah, I came from work.
113
00:05:43,435 --> 00:05:44,945
I thought the suit would
make me seem impressive
114
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,817
and or distinguished.
115
00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:48,217
Am I wrong?
116
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,515
- Honestly, I think it's
making you seem desperate
117
00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:52,097
and or douche-y.
118
00:05:52,097 --> 00:05:53,366
But maybe I'm wrong.
119
00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:54,715
- She's gonna be here any second,
120
00:05:54,715 --> 00:05:56,385
what am I supposed to do now?
121
00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:57,337
- That's okay, relax.
122
00:05:57,337 --> 00:05:59,398
Just to get rid of the tie.
123
00:05:59,398 --> 00:06:02,438
- Okay, yeah, yeah, tie's going away.
124
00:06:02,438 --> 00:06:04,086
Let's lose the tie.
125
00:06:04,086 --> 00:06:06,027
A tie going, bye-bye (laughs).
126
00:06:06,027 --> 00:06:09,860
- I can (murmurs), thank you.
127
00:06:11,425 --> 00:06:13,276
And loose the glasses.
128
00:06:13,276 --> 00:06:16,139
- Yeah, okay, (sighs).
129
00:06:16,139 --> 00:06:19,139
- Wow, we're gonna keep the glasses.
130
00:06:20,688 --> 00:06:22,328
- Yup.
131
00:06:22,328 --> 00:06:23,717
- And pop the collar a little.
132
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,217
- Oh, okay popping, pop again.
133
00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:28,064
- And okay.
134
00:06:31,987 --> 00:06:33,285
- Okay what?
135
00:06:33,285 --> 00:06:34,718
- Honey, that's all I got.
136
00:06:34,718 --> 00:06:36,202
(glass clanging)
137
00:06:36,202 --> 00:06:37,589
Can I help you?
138
00:06:37,589 --> 00:06:39,109
- I don't know, maybe it depends.
139
00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:41,768
I'm supposed to be meeting some
random guy here for a drink.
140
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:45,859
- Oh, you must be the other
half of the first date.
141
00:06:45,859 --> 00:06:47,648
He's already here.
142
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:48,869
- He is?
143
00:06:48,869 --> 00:06:49,702
How is he?
144
00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,429
'Cause my sister said he might in fact
145
00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:53,708
be the man of my dreams.
146
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:54,541
- She did?
147
00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:57,460
Are you and your sister close?
148
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,979
- Oh shit, I knew it, okay, be honest.
149
00:06:59,979 --> 00:07:01,420
What are we dealing with here?
150
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:04,180
Asks a million questions,
guys, super sweaty guy,
151
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,158
overconfident guy, what?
152
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:07,610
- No, no, no.
153
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,399
I think he's...
154
00:07:09,399 --> 00:07:13,308
Well, I'm just gonna to let
you decide that for yourself.
155
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,890
He's right over there.
156
00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:18,650
(Aaron inhales inhaler)
157
00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:21,639
- Oh, allergy guy, good times.
158
00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:25,548
Bring me a shot of
something strong, will you?
159
00:07:25,548 --> 00:07:29,588
And a chaser of something even stronger.
160
00:07:29,588 --> 00:07:30,930
Hi, Casey, you must be-
161
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,263
- Hi, Aaron, yes, that's me.
162
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,348
Nice to meet you.
163
00:07:35,348 --> 00:07:36,181
Hi, I'm-
164
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:38,603
- I know.
- Not entirely sure
165
00:07:38,603 --> 00:07:39,436
what the protocol is here.
166
00:07:39,436 --> 00:07:40,271
- I know.
- We can't handshake,
167
00:07:40,271 --> 00:07:42,290
we can't hug, so what are we gonna do?
168
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,900
- Why don't we just start with the elbow
169
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,119
and then see where we
go from there, (laughs).
170
00:07:46,119 --> 00:07:49,180
- Coming in with the elbow, boom.
171
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,949
- What is that?
172
00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:51,782
What are you doing?
173
00:07:51,782 --> 00:07:52,615
- Not entirely sure.
174
00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:54,980
Occasionally I'm an idiot.
175
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,002
Wanna have a seat?
176
00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:59,835
- Yes.
- Yes, safer, (laughs).
177
00:08:05,248 --> 00:08:06,081
Would you like a drink?
178
00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:08,192
- Oh, I already ordered two on the way in.
179
00:08:08,192 --> 00:08:09,319
Thank you, what are you drinking?
180
00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:12,221
- Nothing special, just a brewski.
181
00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,443
- Did you just say brewski?
182
00:08:13,443 --> 00:08:15,261
- Yes I did, (laughs).
183
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,232
But if it makes you feel any better,
184
00:08:17,232 --> 00:08:19,283
I regretted it the second
it came out of my mouth.
185
00:08:19,283 --> 00:08:21,573
(Casey laughs)
186
00:08:21,573 --> 00:08:24,661
- Are you okay Aaron, 'cause
you seem a little nervous?
187
00:08:24,661 --> 00:08:26,281
- Yeah, no, do I?
188
00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:31,281
Sorry, it's just that I don't
go on a lot on blind dates.
189
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:35,461
Actually, this is most
definitely my real first.
190
00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:37,613
- For Real?
191
00:08:37,613 --> 00:08:40,072
- For realsies, so if I
seem a little bit nervous
192
00:08:40,072 --> 00:08:42,739
it's only 'cause you know, I am.
193
00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:46,352
- Well, don't be because
the more nervous you get
194
00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:50,081
the more I wanna make a mad
dash for that door (laughs).
195
00:08:50,081 --> 00:08:51,123
- Here we go!
196
00:08:51,123 --> 00:08:52,061
- Jesus Christ!
197
00:08:52,061 --> 00:08:54,181
- One beer for the gentleman.
198
00:08:54,181 --> 00:08:55,014
- Thank you.
199
00:08:55,014 --> 00:08:57,432
- And one shot for the lady.
200
00:08:57,432 --> 00:08:59,071
- Thank you.
201
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,821
- And one cocktails for the lady.
202
00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:06,199
- Thank you (laughs).
203
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,000
(both laughs)
204
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,791
- So what was that all that about?
205
00:09:15,791 --> 00:09:18,121
- It's called taking the edge off.
206
00:09:18,121 --> 00:09:21,551
You should try it, BDV,
might loosen you up.
207
00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:22,779
- BDV?
208
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,446
- Blind Date Virgin.
209
00:09:25,409 --> 00:09:28,831
That's my new nickname
for you, you mind it?
210
00:09:28,831 --> 00:09:31,951
- No, well, I prefer
something like A-train
211
00:09:31,951 --> 00:09:33,380
or Wolverine but-
212
00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,631
- Good, now BDV, can I ask you a question?
213
00:09:36,631 --> 00:09:38,780
- Yeah, sure, ask me
anything I'm an open book.
214
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,649
- If you've never been
on one of these before
215
00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:42,149
why go on one now?
216
00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:46,180
- Well, Kevin, your
sister Lauren's husband-
217
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:48,260
- Aka my brother-in-law?
218
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,093
- Right, him.
219
00:09:49,093 --> 00:09:52,343
Well, he said that you were really cute
220
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:59,178
and that I would be an
absolute moron to pass this up.
221
00:09:59,178 --> 00:10:03,011
So I decided to take a
risk and listen to him.
222
00:10:03,885 --> 00:10:05,281
How about you?
223
00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:06,601
- Lauren said you look like Brad Pitt.
224
00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:09,184
(bright music)
225
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,292
(Aaron clears throat)
226
00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:14,898
So do you agree with Kevin?
227
00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:16,612
- About what?
228
00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:18,195
- Am I really cute?
229
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:20,892
(Aaron chuckles)
230
00:10:20,892 --> 00:10:22,481
- You can't just ask me that.
231
00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:23,458
- Why not?
232
00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,748
You said you're an open book.
233
00:10:25,748 --> 00:10:26,581
So am I?
234
00:10:29,018 --> 00:10:32,060
♪ She's a little artsy ♪
235
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:35,249
♪ She's hip and cool ♪
236
00:10:35,249 --> 00:10:37,859
♪ She's just like all those girls ♪
237
00:10:37,859 --> 00:10:41,039
♪ That ignored me all through school ♪
238
00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:44,099
♪ Shes kinda indie ♪
239
00:10:44,099 --> 00:10:46,391
♪ And pretty hot ♪
240
00:10:46,391 --> 00:10:51,391
♪ She's a lot like all
the things that I am not ♪
241
00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:56,940
♪ There's some Asian symbol ♪
242
00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:00,031
♪ Tattooed on her wrist ♪
243
00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,989
♪ She's got the kind of look that says ♪
244
00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:05,729
♪ Hello world I'm pissed ♪
245
00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:08,919
♪ She's sort of hostile ♪
246
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:11,468
♪ Her guns are drawn ♪
247
00:11:11,468 --> 00:11:16,468
♪ Is it weird or just screwed
up that I'm turned on ♪
248
00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:22,087
♪ But that's just a first impression ♪
249
00:11:22,087 --> 00:11:24,359
♪ I could be totally wrong ♪
250
00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:28,447
♪ It's only a first impression ♪
251
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,146
♪ 'Cause maybe she's ♪
252
00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:32,959
♪ A stuffy and conservative
way uptight girl ♪
253
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:33,918
♪ Who's still a virgin ♪
254
00:11:33,918 --> 00:11:35,537
♪ Never goes past second base ♪
255
00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:37,257
♪ Suppressing every single urge ♪
256
00:11:37,257 --> 00:11:39,057
♪ Until she marches down the aisle ♪
257
00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:40,708
♪ And finally ties the knot ♪
258
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,457
♪ She could want a giant family ♪
259
00:11:42,457 --> 00:11:44,375
♪ And be an Opera devotee ♪
260
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,649
♪ Hell, even have a PhD ♪
261
00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:49,689
♪ Yes, that's who she could be ♪
262
00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:50,522
(soft piano music)
263
00:11:50,522 --> 00:11:51,737
I'm waiting.
264
00:11:51,737 --> 00:11:54,737
- Yes you are very pleasant looking.
265
00:11:57,129 --> 00:11:59,049
- Ooh, pleasant looking.
266
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,919
- All right, okay, fine,
no, attractive, desirable,
267
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:03,780
stunningly beautiful.
268
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:08,780
Wait, how about d, all
of the above (chuckles).
269
00:12:09,239 --> 00:12:10,271
So how about me?
270
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:14,639
What adjectives would
you use to describe me?
271
00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:17,839
♪ He's a bit annoying ♪
272
00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:21,271
♪ And overdressed ♪
273
00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:23,329
♪ He's got the kind of vibe ♪
274
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,900
♪ That says look at me I'm stressed ♪
275
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,240
- Really there's just so many
adjectives to choose from
276
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,060
I wouldn't even know where to start.
277
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,233
♪ Probably likes to cuddle ♪
278
00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,833
♪ Long walks in the park ♪
279
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,713
♪ And if he likes sex ♪
280
00:12:38,713 --> 00:12:43,121
♪ Bet it's only in the dark ♪
281
00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:47,692
♪ But that's just a first impression ♪
282
00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:50,072
♪ I could be totally wrong ♪
283
00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:54,343
♪ It's only a first impression ♪
284
00:12:54,343 --> 00:12:56,772
♪ And maybe he's a nasty ♪
285
00:12:56,772 --> 00:12:59,601
♪ Uninhibited ferocious
tiger in the sack ♪
286
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:01,073
♪ Who rides a Harley hits the gym ♪
287
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,052
♪ And makes his money dealing crack ♪
288
00:13:03,052 --> 00:13:04,860
♪ To wealthy kids in private schools ♪
289
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,380
♪ Who treat him like a god ♪
290
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,420
♪ He could kick some ass
just like Bruce Lee ♪
291
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,140
♪ Engage in online piracy ♪
292
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:12,631
♪ And not take any shit from me ♪
293
00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:14,721
♪ Yes, that's who he could ♪
294
00:13:14,721 --> 00:13:16,240
♪ That's who she could ♪
295
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,511
♪ That's who she could be ♪
296
00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:22,900
♪ But that's just a first impression ♪
297
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,211
♪ I could be totally wrong ♪
298
00:13:25,211 --> 00:13:29,340
♪ It's only a first impression ♪
299
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,801
♪ And though the impression is strong ♪
300
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:35,820
♪ It never can hurt to question ♪
301
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:38,991
♪ Though I doubt this
will lead to romance ♪
302
00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:40,700
♪ Sometimes the ones who seem great ♪
303
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,578
♪ Are a nightmare to date ♪
304
00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:44,020
♪ Either way I've been burned ♪
305
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:46,919
♪ But the one thing I've learned ♪
306
00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:51,871
♪ Is often times first impressions ♪
307
00:13:51,871 --> 00:13:53,527
♪ Are worth a second glance ♪
308
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,946
♪ It's worth a second glance ♪
309
00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,997
♪ A second glance ♪
310
00:13:57,997 --> 00:13:59,977
♪ It's worth a second glance ♪
311
00:13:59,977 --> 00:14:00,898
♪ A second glance ♪
312
00:14:00,898 --> 00:14:02,946
♪ It's worth a second glance ♪
313
00:14:02,946 --> 00:14:06,957
♪ It's worth a second glance ♪
314
00:14:06,957 --> 00:14:09,117
- So now what do we do?
315
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:09,950
- What do you mean?
316
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:10,886
- Well, I was just thinking
317
00:14:10,886 --> 00:14:13,586
that seeing as I've never
been on one of these before
318
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,157
and you're kinda the resident expert.
319
00:14:15,157 --> 00:14:17,368
I was just hoping that
maybe you could instruct me
320
00:14:17,368 --> 00:14:19,578
on what we're supposed to do next here.
321
00:14:19,578 --> 00:14:22,245
- Who told you I was the expert?
322
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,727
- Kevin said something just
before he was leaving the office
323
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:30,354
but if he is wrong,
then he could be wrong.
324
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:31,187
He's wrong.
- No, no he's not wrong-
325
00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,666
- I'm sorry.
326
00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:34,338
- I mean, he's incredibly
wrong to tell you
327
00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:35,866
that information right before you met me
328
00:14:35,866 --> 00:14:39,738
but technically speaking, he's not wrong.
329
00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:43,711
Fine, hi, my name is Casey
and I'm a serial dater.
330
00:14:43,711 --> 00:14:45,514
- Then I have the
perfect nickname for you.
331
00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:47,181
- Oh really, what's that?
- Yeah, BDS.
332
00:14:47,181 --> 00:14:49,546
- BDS?
- Yes, Blind Date Slut.
333
00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:51,296
No, no, I'm so sorry.
334
00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:58,843
I was too soon, that is not I want to die.
335
00:15:00,218 --> 00:15:01,578
I'm really not good at this
whole casual banter thing.
336
00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:04,995
Okay, so Casey, do you enjoy blind dates?
337
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:07,869
- Oh God, no.
338
00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:09,876
I hate them with an undying passion.
339
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,906
I put them right up there with pap smears
340
00:15:11,906 --> 00:15:14,026
and M.Night Shyamalan movies.
341
00:15:14,026 --> 00:15:16,338
- Well then why do you go on so many?
342
00:15:16,338 --> 00:15:18,698
- 'Cause I think it's important
to put yourself out there
343
00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:20,424
and keep your options open.
344
00:15:20,424 --> 00:15:23,418
And I keep hoping that each time
345
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:26,306
my next leap will be the leap home.
346
00:15:26,306 --> 00:15:28,106
- You know Quantum Leap?
347
00:15:28,106 --> 00:15:29,586
Holy shit, I love Quantum Leap.
348
00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:30,618
(both laughs)
349
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,807
Oh boy, (both laughs)
350
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,306
we're definitely coming back to that one.
351
00:15:34,306 --> 00:15:37,639
So have you been on any really bad ones?
352
00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:41,457
- First dates?
- Yeah.
353
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:44,196
- Oh no, no, sweetie,
we're not doing that.
354
00:15:44,196 --> 00:15:45,626
Oh, you really do need my help.
355
00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:47,975
No, no, no, that's like
dating rule number one.
356
00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:50,196
It's way too early in the evening
357
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:52,226
for me to be discussing
other men with you.
358
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,036
- Right, see, I did not know that.
359
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:57,738
Okay, so what should we be talking about?
360
00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,156
- Well, seeing as we
barely know each other
361
00:16:00,156 --> 00:16:02,896
I would say this would be the small talk,
362
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,098
getting to know you portion of the night.
363
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,378
- Okay, okay, okay, okay I can do that.
364
00:16:07,378 --> 00:16:10,116
I got you, I got you, you
know just nothing too serious.
365
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,436
Just keeping it light and breezy.
366
00:16:11,436 --> 00:16:13,476
Just like, "Okay, I can do this."
367
00:16:13,476 --> 00:16:15,309
So where are you from?
368
00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:18,179
- Michigan.
(cell phone vibrates)
369
00:16:18,179 --> 00:16:20,668
- Michigan, oh, sorry, you wanna get that?
370
00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:22,599
- No, no, no, it's fine.
371
00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:23,432
- Are you sure?
372
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:24,647
I don't mind if you-
- No, it's no problem.
373
00:16:24,647 --> 00:16:26,999
What were you saying?
374
00:16:26,999 --> 00:16:28,799
- Michigan.
- Michigan?
375
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,465
- Yes.
- Hey, it's Casey.
376
00:16:30,465 --> 00:16:33,067
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
377
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:35,988
♪ This is your bailout
sweetie, your bailout ♪
378
00:16:35,988 --> 00:16:38,428
♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪
379
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,708
♪ You could tell him your
dad's in the hospital ♪
380
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,927
♪ Your building's on fire ♪
381
00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:44,816
♪ That's all you need to say ♪
382
00:16:44,816 --> 00:16:49,816
♪ And you're free and on your way ♪
383
00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:51,975
♪ It's your bestie calling ♪
384
00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:53,628
♪ It's Reggie to the rescue here ♪
385
00:16:53,628 --> 00:16:56,178
♪ To save you from another
catastrophic blind date ♪
386
00:16:56,178 --> 00:16:57,719
♪ I've done it time and again ♪
387
00:16:57,719 --> 00:16:58,948
♪ Saved you from horrendous men ♪
388
00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:02,016
♪ All those losers who should
never be allowed to procreate ♪
389
00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:03,688
♪ Like that dentist with the foul breath ♪
390
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:04,738
♪ That made you wanna yak ♪
391
00:17:04,738 --> 00:17:07,717
♪ Or that hippie with the hair
growing only on his back ♪
392
00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:09,159
♪ Or that guy obsessed with Disney ♪
393
00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:10,558
♪ Second thought, I'll cut him slack ♪
394
00:17:10,558 --> 00:17:13,268
♪ Though his love of
princesses was rather suspect ♪
395
00:17:13,268 --> 00:17:15,036
♪ But I'm digressing I'm obsessing ♪
396
00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:16,148
♪ You did not pick up your cell ♪
397
00:17:16,148 --> 00:17:17,778
♪ Which means you either
didn't hear it ring ♪
398
00:17:17,778 --> 00:17:19,209
♪ Or things are going well ♪
399
00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:22,186
♪ So tweet or text or Snapchat
tell me if you like this guy ♪
400
00:17:22,186 --> 00:17:25,978
♪ Okay that's it I love you
lots need you forever bye ♪
401
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,879
♪ This is your bailout
sweetie your bailout ♪
402
00:17:28,879 --> 00:17:31,250
♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪
403
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,026
♪ You could tell him your
grandma broke her hip ♪
404
00:17:34,026 --> 00:17:34,978
♪ Or your dog ate some chocolate ♪
405
00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:37,807
♪ That's all you need to say ♪
406
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,828
♪ And you're free and on your way ♪
407
00:17:39,828 --> 00:17:41,286
♪ Later, bitch ♪
408
00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:44,106
- So where did you grow up in Michigan?
409
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,254
- Just in this little town
410
00:17:46,254 --> 00:17:48,096
where everybody knows
everybody's business.
411
00:17:48,096 --> 00:17:53,096
Hence why I moved New York
as fast as humanly possible.
412
00:17:53,117 --> 00:17:54,029
West Bloomfield.
413
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,248
- Oh, you grew up in West Bloomfield?
414
00:17:56,248 --> 00:17:57,488
Holy shit!
415
00:17:57,488 --> 00:18:01,879
Hey, do you know anybody
that went to Camp Riverlake?
416
00:18:01,879 --> 00:18:03,390
- Yes, why, did you go there?
417
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,390
- Yes, only for like six summers (laughs).
418
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:07,219
- My neighbor, Jessica
Sheinwald went there.
419
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,590
- Jessica Sheinwald, I
think I remember her.
420
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,600
- Oh, she only went for one year.
421
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:17,310
She fell in love with this
total prick called Gabe
422
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:20,680
and they had this like
insanely intense six week
423
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,429
like summer romance
424
00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:24,220
and then on the last day of camp
425
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,553
she found out that he'd
been seeing four other girls
426
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,971
and the wilderness instructor all summer.
427
00:18:31,971 --> 00:18:33,110
Can you believe that shit?
428
00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:35,693
- No, was it a Gabe Rubenstone?
429
00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:41,120
- Yeah, how did you know?
430
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,830
- He's been my best
friend since I was four.
431
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:48,400
- Oh, things were just
starting to look up for us too.
432
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,422
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
433
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,843
He was a prick.
434
00:18:51,843 --> 00:18:52,763
He still is, he still is.
435
00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:54,774
He's just a colossal prick, okay?
436
00:18:54,774 --> 00:18:57,302
So we're just gonna forget about him.
437
00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,719
Move along now (laughs).
438
00:19:01,752 --> 00:19:03,862
So where did you go to school?
439
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,582
- Village Day.
- Right, oh, okay.
440
00:19:05,582 --> 00:19:07,862
Well, I think a bunch of
Riverlake people went there.
441
00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:10,483
Do you know Josh Baumgarten?
442
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,283
- He sat next to me in our class.
443
00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:14,672
- All right, Rachel Hirsch?
444
00:19:14,672 --> 00:19:17,432
- I kicked her ass all
over the lacrosse field.
445
00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,591
- Okay, how about Nathan Davidson?
446
00:19:20,591 --> 00:19:24,232
- Oh my God, Nathan, wanna
see a magic trick Davidson?
447
00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:25,582
- Yes.
- You knew that freak?
448
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,803
- Yes, of no worse, he was my
roommate for three summers.
449
00:19:28,803 --> 00:19:30,912
Did you have any idea how many times
450
00:19:30,912 --> 00:19:33,563
he asked me to pick a card?
451
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,832
(laughs)
452
00:19:35,832 --> 00:19:37,064
- Where's did you go to college?
453
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:39,232
- Penn, you?
- B.U
454
00:19:39,232 --> 00:19:41,603
- B.U, so you wanna keep
playing Jewish geography
455
00:19:41,603 --> 00:19:44,152
'cause I can give you like 10 more names.
456
00:19:44,152 --> 00:19:46,392
- Oh, we can I'm really good at it.
457
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:48,225
Even if I'm not a Jew.
458
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:53,334
♪ Oy vey ♪
459
00:19:53,334 --> 00:19:55,417
♪ Oy vey ♪
460
00:19:57,824 --> 00:19:59,443
- Sorry, what did you say?
461
00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:00,860
- I am not a Jew.
462
00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:05,540
♪ Oy vey ♪
463
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:09,670
♪ Oy vey ♪
464
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:14,670
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
465
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:22,083
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
466
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:28,422
♪ Dai dai dai dai dai dai dai
dai dai dai dai dai dai dai ♪
467
00:20:31,512 --> 00:20:35,345
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
468
00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:42,728
- [Grandma] Aaron, bubalah!
469
00:20:42,728 --> 00:20:44,299
- Grandma Ida, is that you?
470
00:20:44,299 --> 00:20:46,230
- [Grandma] That's right.
471
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,063
- What are you doing here?
472
00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,063
You're dead.
473
00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:52,240
♪ I was busy praying at
my temple in the sky ♪
474
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,920
♪ When I got an urgent message ♪
475
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,947
♪ That came straight from Adonai ♪
476
00:20:55,947 --> 00:20:57,840
♪ He said Ida it's your grandson ♪
477
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,808
♪ He is acting out of line ♪
478
00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:01,419
♪ 'Cause he's dating Casey Clark ♪
479
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,430
♪ Instead of dating Sarah Stein ♪
480
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,475
♪ I begged Yahweh send me to him ♪
481
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:07,028
♪ I have wisdom to impart ♪
482
00:21:07,028 --> 00:21:08,898
♪ Plus my grandson Aaron loves me ♪
483
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:10,680
♪ And he'd never break my heart ♪
484
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,910
♪ I can make the Pischer understand ♪
485
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:14,659
♪ The error of his ways ♪
486
00:21:14,659 --> 00:21:16,350
♪ Even I once banged a Buddhist ♪
487
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:18,411
♪ It was just a passing phase ♪
488
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,178
♪ Eh the Buddhist was a phase ♪
489
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,819
♪ So listen to me, Boy chik ♪
490
00:21:21,819 --> 00:21:23,859
♪ You're a mensch who's been endowed ♪
491
00:21:23,859 --> 00:21:25,619
♪ With brains and looks and talent ♪
492
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,558
♪ I could plots, I'm just so proud ♪
493
00:21:27,558 --> 00:21:28,939
♪ But though I cut you slack ♪
494
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:31,198
♪ When you did not return my calls ♪
495
00:21:31,198 --> 00:21:32,987
♪ If you wed this little Tsatskelah ♪
496
00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:34,958
♪ I'll break your matzah balls ♪
497
00:21:34,958 --> 00:21:38,707
♪ This isn't the girl for you oy oy oy ♪
498
00:21:38,707 --> 00:21:42,558
♪ This isn't the girl
for you goy goy goy ♪
499
00:21:42,558 --> 00:21:44,238
♪ She considers Jesus boss ♪
500
00:21:44,238 --> 00:21:46,158
♪ And thinks you nailed him to the cross ♪
501
00:21:46,158 --> 00:21:51,158
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
502
00:21:52,168 --> 00:21:53,019
♪ Not for you ♪
503
00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:55,042
♪ Not for you ♪
504
00:21:55,042 --> 00:21:55,875
♪ Not for you ♪
505
00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:59,746
♪ Hey she's not for you ♪
506
00:21:59,746 --> 00:22:01,316
- [Casey's father] Aaron?
507
00:22:01,316 --> 00:22:02,647
- Who are you?
508
00:22:02,647 --> 00:22:04,948
- I'm Casey's father.
509
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:08,667
Her very disapproving,
very Christian father.
510
00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:12,799
- I'm sorry, do you mean
her father or her Father?
511
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:14,227
- Both.
512
00:22:14,227 --> 00:22:19,227
♪ And now you are ruining
my daughter's life ♪
513
00:22:19,564 --> 00:22:23,479
♪ Never thought my baby
be a Hebrew's wife ♪
514
00:22:23,479 --> 00:22:26,879
♪ Why would people
called the chosen ones ♪
515
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:30,548
♪ Choose to wear strange hats
and circumcise their sons ♪
516
00:22:30,548 --> 00:22:32,759
♪ Circumcise their sons ♪
517
00:22:32,759 --> 00:22:36,068
♪ You don't know the Holy Trinity ♪
518
00:22:36,068 --> 00:22:40,017
♪ Or the joy felt when you
trim a Christmas tree ♪
519
00:22:40,017 --> 00:22:43,537
♪ And since you cannot
sing the first Noel ♪
520
00:22:43,537 --> 00:22:47,428
♪ Jesus Christ won't save
you from the gates of hell ♪
521
00:22:47,428 --> 00:22:49,439
♪ You'll go straight to hell ♪
522
00:22:49,439 --> 00:22:51,148
♪ Hallelujah ♪
523
00:22:51,148 --> 00:22:54,799
♪ Every Angel sings for the Easter Bunny ♪
524
00:22:54,799 --> 00:22:56,847
♪ And the eggs he brings ♪
525
00:22:56,847 --> 00:22:58,337
♪ Hallelujah ♪
526
00:22:58,337 --> 00:23:00,268
♪ Christians pass the test ♪
527
00:23:00,268 --> 00:23:04,117
♪ We are not Semitic
therefore we are blessed ♪
528
00:23:04,117 --> 00:23:06,359
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
529
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:07,788
♪ Ahhh ♪
530
00:23:07,788 --> 00:23:10,079
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
531
00:23:10,079 --> 00:23:11,587
♪ Ahhh ♪
532
00:23:11,587 --> 00:23:13,420
♪ How can I stay cool and calm ♪
533
00:23:13,420 --> 00:23:15,798
♪ When you don't praise the virgin mom ♪
534
00:23:15,798 --> 00:23:19,631
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
535
00:23:20,638 --> 00:23:22,437
- Oh my God.
536
00:23:22,437 --> 00:23:24,694
- Yo dad, what's up?
537
00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:25,628
- Dad!
- What?
538
00:23:25,628 --> 00:23:26,588
You don't recognize me?
539
00:23:26,588 --> 00:23:28,137
I'm yours and Casey's future son
540
00:23:28,137 --> 00:23:29,976
and I'm like beyond messed up.
541
00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:31,559
So thanks for that.
542
00:23:32,439 --> 00:23:33,967
♪ You got me so confused ♪
543
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,567
♪ I don't know which way to choose ♪
544
00:23:35,567 --> 00:23:38,807
♪ Do I celebrate Christmas or
Chanukah either way I lose ♪
545
00:23:38,807 --> 00:23:40,365
♪ 'Cause I don't know what to believe in ♪
546
00:23:40,365 --> 00:23:41,967
♪ With the mixed signals I'm receiving ♪
547
00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:43,287
♪ No I don't fit into a box ♪
548
00:23:43,287 --> 00:23:45,237
♪ I'm strung out with
doubt and I can't detox ♪
549
00:23:45,237 --> 00:23:46,647
♪ Should I live life for the moment ♪
550
00:23:46,647 --> 00:23:48,326
♪ Or should I kneel and repent ♪
551
00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:51,215
♪ Do I believe the Messiah's
coming or came and went ♪
552
00:23:51,215 --> 00:23:53,239
♪ I'm stuck and it's fucking depressing ♪
553
00:23:53,239 --> 00:23:54,777
♪ From all this perpetual guessing ♪
554
00:23:54,777 --> 00:23:58,028
♪ Don't mean to be preachy but
like Nietzsche the nihilist ♪
555
00:23:58,028 --> 00:23:59,616
♪ I'm thinking that God don't exist ♪
556
00:23:59,616 --> 00:24:01,157
♪ Do I cry at Schindler's list ♪
557
00:24:01,157 --> 00:24:02,143
♪ Or weep at the passion of the Christ ♪
558
00:24:02,143 --> 00:24:02,976
- Well-
559
00:24:02,976 --> 00:24:04,434
♪ Should I shop retail
when there's no sale ♪
560
00:24:04,434 --> 00:24:05,811
♪ Or kvetch that it's all overpriced ♪
561
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:07,452
♪ I'm gonna haunt you like a poltergeist ♪
562
00:24:07,452 --> 00:24:09,074
♪ My whole identity you've sacrificed ♪
563
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,503
♪ Why didn't you use a condom ♪
564
00:24:10,503 --> 00:24:11,812
No, come on.
565
00:24:11,812 --> 00:24:15,062
(both sings in unison)
566
00:24:29,412 --> 00:24:31,730
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
567
00:24:31,730 --> 00:24:32,940
♪ Not, not for you ♪
568
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,290
♪ This isn't the girl for you ♪
569
00:24:35,290 --> 00:24:36,442
♪ So true, so true ♪
570
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:38,052
♪ 6000 years of history ♪
571
00:24:38,052 --> 00:24:39,804
♪ Are resting on your head ♪
572
00:24:39,804 --> 00:24:41,604
♪ If you married her you'd kill me ♪
573
00:24:41,604 --> 00:24:43,393
♪ Were I not already dead ♪
574
00:24:43,393 --> 00:24:44,971
♪ I won't have my grandkids raised ♪
575
00:24:44,971 --> 00:24:47,564
♪ On bagels, lox and cream cheese spread ♪
576
00:24:47,564 --> 00:24:48,604
♪ Now let's review ♪
577
00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:49,492
♪ She's not a Jew ♪
578
00:24:49,492 --> 00:24:54,492
♪ So this isn't the girl for you ♪
579
00:24:55,692 --> 00:24:56,753
♪ A Shayna Maydl ♪
580
00:24:56,753 --> 00:24:58,473
♪ But she doesn't spin the dreidel ♪
581
00:24:58,473 --> 00:25:02,640
♪ This isn't the girl for you hey ♪
582
00:25:03,884 --> 00:25:07,284
- So you're really not Jewish, uh?
583
00:25:07,284 --> 00:25:08,117
- Nope!
- Half Jewish?
584
00:25:08,117 --> 00:25:09,233
- Uh- uh.
- Quarter Jew?
585
00:25:09,233 --> 00:25:10,066
- Not even a little.
586
00:25:10,066 --> 00:25:11,832
- Okay, so wait, wait,
what about relatives?
587
00:25:11,832 --> 00:25:13,442
You got like a cousin or a sister,
588
00:25:13,442 --> 00:25:15,502
or somebody that got a rebellious
589
00:25:15,502 --> 00:25:16,833
and married an Ashkenazi?
590
00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,204
- Very doubtful, is this
a problem for you, Aaron?
591
00:25:19,204 --> 00:25:22,809
- No, no, no, not for me necessarily.
592
00:25:22,809 --> 00:25:25,281
For some others in my family maybe.
593
00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:29,222
Your family or future children
that we may or may not have.
594
00:25:29,222 --> 00:25:30,342
- Well, if it makes you feel any better,
595
00:25:30,342 --> 00:25:32,542
I've never been a big church goer anyway.
596
00:25:32,542 --> 00:25:34,345
- Right, you haven't?
597
00:25:34,345 --> 00:25:36,913
That means you don't have
like countless crosses
598
00:25:36,913 --> 00:25:38,254
and Rosemary beads and pictures
599
00:25:38,254 --> 00:25:40,053
of political angels hanging
right above your bed
600
00:25:40,053 --> 00:25:41,083
'cause I'm gonna be honest with you,
601
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,349
that would be kinda a
bit deal breaker for me.
602
00:25:42,349 --> 00:25:43,919
- No, my parents have never been
603
00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:45,159
into any of that kind of stuff.
604
00:25:45,159 --> 00:25:46,538
So from a very early age
605
00:25:46,538 --> 00:25:48,399
I was always much more of an atheist.
606
00:25:48,399 --> 00:25:49,232
- Oh really?
607
00:25:49,232 --> 00:25:51,069
So, I mean you don't
believe in God at all?
608
00:25:51,069 --> 00:25:53,599
- Is this your way of keeping
things light and breezy?
609
00:25:53,599 --> 00:25:54,682
- Right, yes.
610
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:56,888
Sorry, yes, no.
611
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,388
(both laughs)
612
00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:01,968
What's your favorite color?
613
00:26:01,968 --> 00:26:05,128
- No, no, you're new
to this, so I'll allow.
614
00:26:05,128 --> 00:26:06,180
- Thank you very much.
615
00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:08,130
- To answer your question,
616
00:26:08,130 --> 00:26:10,101
I do believe in a higher power
617
00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:12,759
but I also think that organized religions
618
00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:14,650
have become so overlaid
619
00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:17,780
with extraneous matter that I don't know,
620
00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:20,208
their spiritual substances
has become completely obscure.
621
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:22,239
Do you know what I mean?
622
00:26:22,239 --> 00:26:23,730
Okay, check this out.
623
00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:25,950
I've been reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle.
624
00:26:25,950 --> 00:26:26,783
Ever heard of him?
625
00:26:26,783 --> 00:26:27,616
- No-
- It doesn't matter.
626
00:26:27,616 --> 00:26:30,821
He's a big believer in the power of now.
627
00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:35,050
And so since I have a bad
tendency of getting in my head,
628
00:26:35,050 --> 00:26:36,941
I've been trying to separate the process
629
00:26:36,941 --> 00:26:40,830
of thinking and an awareness
in an effort to transcend
630
00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:43,194
my ego based station
state of consciousness.
631
00:26:43,194 --> 00:26:44,519
- Right, yeah obviously.
632
00:26:44,519 --> 00:26:47,352
That is very, very obvious.
- Yeah.
633
00:26:49,021 --> 00:26:50,439
- So how's that going?
634
00:26:50,439 --> 00:26:51,319
- Not so well.
635
00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:54,359
I have a hard time
silencing my inner critic.
636
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,061
- Oh my God, tell me about it (chuckles).
637
00:26:57,061 --> 00:26:57,894
- Really?
- Yes.
638
00:26:57,894 --> 00:26:58,727
- You do too?
639
00:26:58,727 --> 00:27:00,781
- Yes, my inner critic
will not shut up right now.
640
00:27:00,781 --> 00:27:02,370
- Okay, what's he saying?
641
00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:03,621
- It's saying to get out of this thing
642
00:27:03,621 --> 00:27:07,261
as quickly as possible (laughs).
643
00:27:07,261 --> 00:27:08,199
- Are you're making fun of me?
644
00:27:08,199 --> 00:27:09,032
- No.
645
00:27:10,069 --> 00:27:11,140
- 'Cause-
- No I'm sorry.
646
00:27:11,140 --> 00:27:12,490
- You brought this up, I
didn't want to talk about.
647
00:27:12,490 --> 00:27:13,581
- I was joking, it was a bad joke.
648
00:27:13,581 --> 00:27:14,639
- You know what?
- I'm sorry.
649
00:27:14,639 --> 00:27:16,078
- It's a shame that
you're so closed minded
650
00:27:16,078 --> 00:27:19,269
because actually I think
this stuff would help you.
651
00:27:19,269 --> 00:27:22,410
I think the meditation and self awareness
652
00:27:22,410 --> 00:27:23,981
could be helpful for you.
653
00:27:23,981 --> 00:27:25,029
It could be helpful for everybody.
654
00:27:25,029 --> 00:27:26,839
- Yeah, no, you're right, you're right.
655
00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:28,756
It could do that for me
656
00:27:30,694 --> 00:27:33,861
and all the people all over the world.
657
00:27:37,882 --> 00:27:40,465
(upbeat music)
658
00:27:44,261 --> 00:27:49,261
♪ It was all going okay ♪
659
00:27:49,311 --> 00:27:54,311
♪ But now you don't know what to say ♪
660
00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:59,991
♪ 'Cause you thought that
you were being clever ♪
661
00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:05,221
♪ But you came off just as dumb as ever ♪
662
00:28:07,181 --> 00:28:12,181
♪ You should just run for the door ♪
663
00:28:12,493 --> 00:28:16,511
♪ You've played out this scene before ♪
664
00:28:16,511 --> 00:28:21,511
♪ And you're stuck in a
slew of hems and haws ♪
665
00:28:24,341 --> 00:28:27,511
♪ It's so awkward ♪
666
00:28:27,511 --> 00:28:30,594
♪ This awkward pause ♪
667
00:28:39,061 --> 00:28:44,061
♪ Would gladly eat a plate of glass ♪
668
00:28:44,253 --> 00:28:49,241
♪ If it would make this moment pass ♪
669
00:28:49,241 --> 00:28:54,241
♪ Would rather skydive with no parachute ♪
670
00:28:54,351 --> 00:28:59,351
♪ Get caught soliciting a prostitute ♪
671
00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:03,653
♪ Better to bump into an ex ♪
672
00:29:03,653 --> 00:29:06,282
♪ Or crash your car into a tree ♪
673
00:29:06,282 --> 00:29:08,621
♪ See your parents having sex ♪
674
00:29:08,621 --> 00:29:11,759
♪ Or catch a mild S.T.D. ♪
675
00:29:11,759 --> 00:29:16,429
♪ Things that normally are paralyzing ♪
676
00:29:16,429 --> 00:29:17,482
♪ Compared to this ♪
677
00:29:17,482 --> 00:29:21,658
♪ They all seem appetizing ♪
678
00:29:21,658 --> 00:29:26,658
♪ 'Cause you're stuck
in the agonizing claws ♪
679
00:29:27,791 --> 00:29:29,322
♪ Whoa ♪
680
00:29:29,322 --> 00:29:32,261
♪ Of the awkward ♪
681
00:29:32,261 --> 00:29:37,261
♪ The awkward ♪
682
00:29:41,711 --> 00:29:43,711
♪ Pause ♪
683
00:30:05,562 --> 00:30:07,145
Look, can I just...
684
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,679
I just wanted to say that-
- Maybe we-
685
00:30:10,679 --> 00:30:12,271
- I'm sorry,(laughs).
686
00:30:12,271 --> 00:30:14,261
Look, I wanna-
- Oh, dear God, you go first.
687
00:30:14,261 --> 00:30:17,011
- Okay, look, I'm so sorry, okay?
688
00:30:20,390 --> 00:30:23,130
I just misunderstood what you
were saying and I messed up.
689
00:30:23,130 --> 00:30:24,050
- I'm sorry.
690
00:30:24,050 --> 00:30:25,639
I'm sorry for getting so standoffish.
691
00:30:25,639 --> 00:30:28,530
It's just, I actually think
it's a really good thing
692
00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:29,363
getting to know yourself,
693
00:30:29,363 --> 00:30:30,879
but every time I talk about it,
694
00:30:30,879 --> 00:30:33,159
people look at me like I'm
some sort of mental patient.
695
00:30:33,159 --> 00:30:33,997
- Yes, you're right.
696
00:30:33,997 --> 00:30:36,525
Which is exactly why
I will not look at you
697
00:30:36,525 --> 00:30:37,367
like that anymore.
698
00:30:37,367 --> 00:30:39,668
No more crazy looks from me, okay?
699
00:30:39,668 --> 00:30:40,501
- Glad to hear it.
700
00:30:40,501 --> 00:30:43,168
- Yes (laughs).
701
00:30:44,107 --> 00:30:44,940
Oh my God.
702
00:30:46,007 --> 00:30:47,999
Did we just totally have our first fight?
703
00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:49,666
- OMG, we kinda did.
704
00:30:50,629 --> 00:30:53,057
- Oh, girl, we totes did
and we came out of it
705
00:30:53,057 --> 00:30:54,629
without any cuts or bruises.
706
00:30:54,629 --> 00:30:56,207
- Barely any internal bleeding.
707
00:30:56,207 --> 00:30:57,307
- Okurrrr.
708
00:30:57,307 --> 00:30:58,669
(both laughs)
709
00:30:58,669 --> 00:31:03,158
Well, maybe there's a small
smidgeon of hope for us yet.
710
00:31:03,158 --> 00:31:04,325
- Yeah, maybe.
711
00:31:05,706 --> 00:31:06,879
- All right.
712
00:31:06,879 --> 00:31:07,999
Well, since we're already
713
00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:10,109
in this terribly uncomfortable situation,
714
00:31:10,109 --> 00:31:12,909
anything else you wanna tell
me before this date continues?
715
00:31:12,909 --> 00:31:14,949
Like you got weird fetishes diseases
716
00:31:14,949 --> 00:31:15,907
black sheep family members.
717
00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:16,989
You can tell me.
718
00:31:16,989 --> 00:31:20,227
You can tell me, I will
be totally fine with it.
719
00:31:20,227 --> 00:31:21,839
- Well, now you mentioned it.
720
00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:25,018
There is something I should tell you.
721
00:31:25,018 --> 00:31:27,101
- Oh, sure, lay it on me.
722
00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:30,327
- I have a four year-old son, Blaze.
723
00:31:30,327 --> 00:31:31,160
- Hello!
724
00:31:32,109 --> 00:31:35,276
(bright upbeat music)
725
00:31:37,909 --> 00:31:38,989
- You do?
726
00:31:38,989 --> 00:31:40,327
- Yeah, he's great.
727
00:31:40,327 --> 00:31:42,298
He's just the little light of my life.
728
00:31:42,298 --> 00:31:43,381
- Wow, Blaze.
729
00:31:45,164 --> 00:31:46,581
Is it that, so...
730
00:31:47,554 --> 00:31:49,218
So who's the father?
731
00:31:49,218 --> 00:31:51,157
- I'm not entirely sure.
732
00:31:51,157 --> 00:31:52,218
- You're not?
733
00:31:52,218 --> 00:31:55,589
- No, I know it's definitely
like between two or three guys
734
00:31:55,589 --> 00:31:56,422
but you know what?
735
00:31:56,422 --> 00:31:57,778
I figure we can always do DNA testing
736
00:31:57,778 --> 00:31:58,706
but that's only if Blaze,
737
00:31:58,706 --> 00:32:01,746
absolutely just has to
know his birth father.
738
00:32:01,746 --> 00:32:03,967
- Right.
- Are you my daddy?
739
00:32:03,967 --> 00:32:04,800
- Sure, no.
740
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,437
That makes sense to me.
741
00:32:07,437 --> 00:32:08,937
So what's he like?
742
00:32:09,865 --> 00:32:13,298
- Oh, he's very sweet,
energetic hyper kid.
743
00:32:13,298 --> 00:32:15,917
And he hasn't been officially diagnosed
744
00:32:15,917 --> 00:32:17,357
but we think he has ADD.
745
00:32:17,357 --> 00:32:19,157
- Oh.
- I like basketball
746
00:32:19,157 --> 00:32:21,096
and baseball and soccer and drawing
747
00:32:21,096 --> 00:32:23,298
and chocolate and pirates, airplanes
748
00:32:23,298 --> 00:32:25,157
and French fries, and video games and-
749
00:32:25,157 --> 00:32:27,066
- Wow, you must really
have your hands fold,
750
00:32:27,066 --> 00:32:31,149
Aw, aw, wow, wow, wow!
- I do, but you know what?
751
00:32:32,224 --> 00:32:35,325
No matter how much he kicks
and screams and bites,
752
00:32:35,325 --> 00:32:37,825
he does love to bite and cries
753
00:32:38,805 --> 00:32:42,154
and fight me on every single thing.
754
00:32:42,154 --> 00:32:43,834
At the end of the day,
755
00:32:43,834 --> 00:32:46,654
when I'm sitting there breastfeeding
756
00:32:46,654 --> 00:32:49,240
and he looks up at me with my nipple
757
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,491
on his cute little mouth.
758
00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:55,991
- Nipple, you still breastfeed
your four-year-old son?
759
00:32:57,714 --> 00:33:00,322
- Of course, it really
helps a mother-son bond.
760
00:33:00,322 --> 00:33:04,333
Anyway, my point is I wouldn't
change it for the world.
761
00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:05,916
- No, that's great.
762
00:33:08,698 --> 00:33:09,865
That is great.
763
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:13,580
I'm just surprised that Kevin neglected
764
00:33:13,580 --> 00:33:14,938
to mention anything to me.
765
00:33:14,938 --> 00:33:17,572
- Oh yeah, Aaron, there's one other thing
766
00:33:17,572 --> 00:33:19,260
I should tell you about Blaze.
767
00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:20,161
- Really, there's something else?
768
00:33:20,161 --> 00:33:21,711
- He doesn't exist.
769
00:33:21,711 --> 00:33:22,544
- Oh, thank God!
770
00:33:22,544 --> 00:33:23,377
- I'm messing with you.
771
00:33:23,377 --> 00:33:24,429
- Can you imagine having to deal
772
00:33:24,429 --> 00:33:25,591
(Casey laughs)
773
00:33:25,591 --> 00:33:27,172
with some fucking monster child
774
00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,339
who's still old enough to ask his mommy
775
00:33:29,339 --> 00:33:31,660
for a tall glass of boob (laughs).
776
00:33:31,660 --> 00:33:32,493
- He's real.
777
00:33:32,493 --> 00:33:33,326
- Let me finish.
778
00:33:33,326 --> 00:33:34,252
- I'm joking.
779
00:33:34,252 --> 00:33:36,052
- Fuck you, fuck you.
780
00:33:36,052 --> 00:33:37,972
Why would you do that to me?
781
00:33:37,972 --> 00:33:39,799
- Because it was funny, wasn't it?
782
00:33:39,799 --> 00:33:40,900
- Oh my gosh.
783
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:45,140
- Really funny, really
got him there, Kudos sis.
784
00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:46,520
- Oh, Lauren, what do you want?
785
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,591
- I don't know, maybe
to help you get married
786
00:33:48,591 --> 00:33:50,980
or at least asked out on a second date.
787
00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:52,551
You know, I really don't
understand you Case,
788
00:33:52,551 --> 00:33:54,530
why do you insist on being so-
789
00:33:54,530 --> 00:33:57,081
- Daring, bold and
delightfully controversial?
790
00:33:57,081 --> 00:33:57,914
- I was gonna say harsh,
791
00:33:57,914 --> 00:33:59,380
guarded and slightly confrontational,
792
00:33:59,380 --> 00:34:00,910
but you know, six-of-one.
793
00:34:00,910 --> 00:34:02,620
- I can't help it, that's just who I am.
794
00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:03,453
- That's cute.
795
00:34:03,453 --> 00:34:05,201
But you know what else you can help?
796
00:34:05,201 --> 00:34:06,612
Your biological clock.
797
00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:09,670
And if you listen real close
to hear what it's saying,
798
00:34:09,670 --> 00:34:10,911
"Hurry the fuck up."
799
00:34:10,911 --> 00:34:13,632
- No, that's not fair,
I've really been trying.
800
00:34:13,632 --> 00:34:15,393
- No you haven't.
801
00:34:15,393 --> 00:34:17,873
This is all a game to you, a sport.
802
00:34:17,873 --> 00:34:18,812
You're not looking for the one,
803
00:34:18,812 --> 00:34:21,042
you just looking for new
ways to amuse yourself
804
00:34:21,042 --> 00:34:21,875
in other people's experience.
805
00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:22,708
- You know what?
806
00:34:22,708 --> 00:34:23,541
We can't all be like you.
807
00:34:23,541 --> 00:34:24,711
We can't all meet our dream guy
808
00:34:24,711 --> 00:34:27,781
and settle down in Connecticut at age 24.
809
00:34:27,781 --> 00:34:28,614
- That's hurtful.
810
00:34:28,614 --> 00:34:30,972
We didn't get our first house
in Westport till I was 28,
811
00:34:30,972 --> 00:34:32,305
and you know it.
812
00:34:33,193 --> 00:34:34,833
Look just do me a favor,
813
00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:36,473
try a little harder with this guy
814
00:34:36,473 --> 00:34:38,239
'cause Kevin really likes him.
815
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,193
And wouldn't be the
worst thing in the world.
816
00:34:40,193 --> 00:34:41,440
If he did it someone nice for once.
817
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,273
- Fine.
818
00:34:43,372 --> 00:34:45,001
- Oh, God, you know what?
819
00:34:45,001 --> 00:34:46,221
I think I need another beer.
820
00:34:46,221 --> 00:34:48,761
Excuse me, can I get a beer please?
821
00:34:48,761 --> 00:34:49,932
Just one, thank you.
822
00:34:49,932 --> 00:34:51,841
- Uh oh, did my menace of
an imaginary child force
823
00:34:51,841 --> 00:34:53,201
you to start drinking again?
824
00:34:53,201 --> 00:34:54,801
He does have that effect on people.
825
00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:57,612
- Yeah, he really does,
you know I was this close
826
00:34:57,612 --> 00:35:00,332
to driving my imaginary
minivan off of the top
827
00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:01,913
of a very steep imaginary place.
828
00:35:01,913 --> 00:35:03,913
- Oh, listen Aaron, don't feel bad.
829
00:35:03,913 --> 00:35:05,943
I totally get why Blaze would scare you.
830
00:35:05,943 --> 00:35:08,633
Well, I mean, we're not all
made for breeders, right?
831
00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,412
Nothing says we have to have children.
832
00:35:10,412 --> 00:35:11,732
Am I right?
833
00:35:11,732 --> 00:35:13,721
- So you don't wanna have kids?
834
00:35:13,721 --> 00:35:17,492
- No, well, definitely
yeah, I do, someday.
835
00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:18,852
- Yeah, me too.
836
00:35:18,852 --> 00:35:21,261
I want a big family actually.
837
00:35:21,261 --> 00:35:23,841
Not yet though, but come
on, can't you imagine it.
838
00:35:23,841 --> 00:35:25,932
Bunch of little Aarons running around,
839
00:35:25,932 --> 00:35:28,092
all saying (indistinct)
giving off a goffy elbo.
840
00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:29,401
- Oh, yeah, on their little suits?
841
00:35:29,401 --> 00:35:30,433
- Well, come on!
842
00:35:30,433 --> 00:35:31,473
You know it's funny actually,
843
00:35:31,473 --> 00:35:33,703
my ex always used to say to me,
844
00:35:33,703 --> 00:35:35,023
- Oh no, you don't do it.
845
00:35:35,023 --> 00:35:35,892
- No, I don't what Gabe?
846
00:35:35,892 --> 00:35:38,913
- Dude, dude, we've been
over this like 100 times.
847
00:35:38,913 --> 00:35:41,823
You never ever bring up
your ex on the first date.
848
00:35:41,823 --> 00:35:42,656
- Why not?
849
00:35:42,656 --> 00:35:44,703
Allison was such a huge part of my life.
850
00:35:44,703 --> 00:35:45,536
(smoke swooshes)
851
00:35:45,536 --> 00:35:47,462
- There's just no way you can exclude me
852
00:35:47,462 --> 00:35:49,353
from the conversation.
853
00:35:49,353 --> 00:35:52,174
- No, no, no, Aaron get
her out of your head.
854
00:35:52,174 --> 00:35:53,014
I'm begging you.
855
00:35:53,014 --> 00:35:55,742
This is not the time to
be thinking about Allison.
856
00:35:55,742 --> 00:35:56,575
- Okay-
857
00:35:56,575 --> 00:35:58,222
- Guess he can't help himself Gabe.
858
00:35:58,222 --> 00:35:59,732
I'm simply too wonderful.
859
00:35:59,732 --> 00:36:01,884
(soft piano music)
860
00:36:01,884 --> 00:36:04,301
- She's simply too wonderful.
861
00:36:06,844 --> 00:36:07,964
♪ You look buff ♪
862
00:36:07,964 --> 00:36:10,273
♪ You've been working out babe ♪
863
00:36:10,273 --> 00:36:13,633
♪ All your hotness is making me weak ♪
864
00:36:13,633 --> 00:36:14,973
♪ Love the haircut ♪
865
00:36:14,973 --> 00:36:17,132
♪ I love the suit ♪
866
00:36:17,132 --> 00:36:20,534
♪ You're a walking example of chic ♪
867
00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:24,033
♪ You're the handsomest
man in this restaurant ♪
868
00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:27,364
♪ Like a model right out of GQ ♪
869
00:36:27,364 --> 00:36:32,364
♪ You're also the world's greatest lover ♪
870
00:36:32,444 --> 00:36:35,313
♪ So rip off my clothes ♪
871
00:36:35,313 --> 00:36:36,392
♪ Spread my legs ♪
872
00:36:36,392 --> 00:36:37,913
♪ Have your way with me ♪
873
00:36:37,913 --> 00:36:41,012
♪ Oh how I crave your ♪
874
00:36:41,012 --> 00:36:44,241
- Bull shit, "Rip off my clothes.
875
00:36:44,241 --> 00:36:45,612
Have your way with me."
876
00:36:45,612 --> 00:36:48,130
That's not what Allison
would say and you know it.
877
00:36:48,130 --> 00:36:49,601
Now be honest with yourself.
878
00:36:49,601 --> 00:36:52,409
What would Allison really say to you?
879
00:36:52,409 --> 00:36:53,492
- Well, you mean like in the bedroom?
880
00:36:53,492 --> 00:36:55,422
- Yeah.
- Well, I guess I would go
881
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:57,157
a little something more like this and-
882
00:36:57,157 --> 00:36:57,990
(smoke swooshes)
883
00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:59,260
Allison, wanna have sex?
884
00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:01,679
- Sorry, you know the rules.
885
00:37:01,679 --> 00:37:04,927
Once the retainer goes in
the va-jay-jay's off-limits.
886
00:37:04,927 --> 00:37:06,031
- Exactly, don't you see?
887
00:37:06,031 --> 00:37:06,864
(smoke swooshes)
888
00:37:06,864 --> 00:37:09,461
The real Allison is not the
way you choose to remember her.
889
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:12,669
She's a frigid, emotionally
manipulative wench
890
00:37:12,669 --> 00:37:14,982
that you need to permanently
erase from your thoughts.
891
00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:17,232
So you can finally move on.
892
00:37:18,092 --> 00:37:20,372
- Okay, okay, okay, I got you.
893
00:37:20,372 --> 00:37:23,641
Okay, no more Allison,
she's out of my head.
894
00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:25,721
Now please, what am I doing about my date?
895
00:37:25,721 --> 00:37:27,041
Because-
- Well, thankfully,
896
00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:29,801
you got your best friend here
to help you through this.
897
00:37:29,801 --> 00:37:32,702
Now, Aaron, do I get ass?
898
00:37:32,702 --> 00:37:33,850
- Yes.
- Yes, and I'm gonna help
899
00:37:33,850 --> 00:37:36,411
you get some too, but only if you listened
900
00:37:36,411 --> 00:37:37,791
to your consigliere.
901
00:37:37,791 --> 00:37:40,972
So remember you talk about the ex,
902
00:37:40,972 --> 00:37:44,471
you can forget about the sex, got it?
903
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,304
- Yes got it.
904
00:37:45,304 --> 00:37:48,111
Talk about ex, forget
about this talk (murmurs).
905
00:37:48,111 --> 00:37:50,840
- Your ex always used to say you what?
906
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,442
- Not much, nothing at all actually,
907
00:37:52,442 --> 00:37:53,942
she was mute.
- Oh.
908
00:37:57,151 --> 00:37:58,740
- Can we talk about something else?
909
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,898
- Absolutely, let's re-focus.
910
00:38:00,898 --> 00:38:04,202
(Aaron mumbles)
911
00:38:04,202 --> 00:38:05,271
- Oh my God, (laughs).
912
00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:09,522
- Okay, so I know that
guys absolutely love
913
00:38:09,522 --> 00:38:10,620
to talk about work.
914
00:38:10,620 --> 00:38:13,811
So why don't you regale
me with some anecdotes
915
00:38:13,811 --> 00:38:14,880
and stories about that?
916
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,762
- Oh, no problem.
917
00:38:15,762 --> 00:38:16,731
And what do you wanna know?
918
00:38:16,731 --> 00:38:18,042
- Well, what you do exactly?
919
00:38:18,042 --> 00:38:21,812
- Ah, investment banking,
corporate finance
920
00:38:21,812 --> 00:38:26,812
and sometimes I fiddle around
with mergers and acquisitions.
921
00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:30,412
- Oh, sounds riveting.
922
00:38:30,412 --> 00:38:32,745
- Yeah, just one, thank you.
923
00:38:34,109 --> 00:38:36,758
I know it's the most
sexier or fascinating a job
924
00:38:36,758 --> 00:38:38,260
but it pays bills.
925
00:38:38,260 --> 00:38:40,050
- Yes, but does it fulfill your soul.
926
00:38:40,050 --> 00:38:43,848
- It fulfills my sole
purpose of making money.
927
00:38:43,848 --> 00:38:46,050
- Okay, all right, so
you're one of those guys.
928
00:38:46,050 --> 00:38:49,088
Is that what it's all about
for you, the cash-ola?
929
00:38:49,088 --> 00:38:50,228
- Well, it is for now.
930
00:38:50,228 --> 00:38:51,197
Anyway, what about you?
931
00:38:51,197 --> 00:38:54,239
Kevin told me that you
work in an art gallery.
932
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,730
Is that always been
your lifelong ambition?
933
00:38:56,730 --> 00:38:58,689
- No, but it's creative
934
00:38:58,689 --> 00:39:00,449
and it's a good place
for me to study my craft.
935
00:39:00,449 --> 00:39:01,598
- Oh cool, which is?
936
00:39:01,598 --> 00:39:02,849
- Photography.
- Ah, no way.
937
00:39:02,849 --> 00:39:03,690
You're a photographer?
938
00:39:03,690 --> 00:39:06,857
- Yes, no, well, no, I used to dabble.
939
00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:10,290
I own a camera (chuckles).
940
00:39:10,290 --> 00:39:11,500
- So what do you do at the gallery?
941
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,522
You pick up the pieces?
942
00:39:13,522 --> 00:39:16,370
- Yeah, sometimes.
- Cool.
943
00:39:16,370 --> 00:39:17,562
- Why?
944
00:39:17,562 --> 00:39:19,180
- Oh no, it's just that I thought
945
00:39:19,180 --> 00:39:21,650
the whole Damien Hirst
exhibition was awesome.
946
00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:23,887
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
947
00:39:23,887 --> 00:39:25,420
- Wait a minute.
948
00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:27,670
How do you know about that?
949
00:39:29,289 --> 00:39:32,708
- I may have done some research
online before our date.
950
00:39:32,708 --> 00:39:33,708
- Oh!
- Yeah.
951
00:39:35,368 --> 00:39:36,369
- You googled me?
952
00:39:36,369 --> 00:39:40,319
- Well, yes, I googled
you, but let me explain.
953
00:39:40,319 --> 00:39:45,319
I just wanted to let myself
know what I was in for before.
954
00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:47,066
- And what else did you find out?
955
00:39:47,066 --> 00:39:49,279
- What didn't he find out?
956
00:39:49,279 --> 00:39:51,138
- I know Google, is that you?
957
00:39:51,138 --> 00:39:55,618
Again, why do you always
have to ruin everything?
958
00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:58,138
- Because I'm the world's
number one search engine.
959
00:39:58,138 --> 00:39:59,971
That's why, and Casey.
960
00:40:02,338 --> 00:40:05,730
♪ You know exactly all that he uncovered ♪
961
00:40:05,730 --> 00:40:09,119
♪ Your dirty secrets aren't safe with me ♪
962
00:40:09,119 --> 00:40:12,748
♪ Mistakes that will be
better undiscovered ♪
963
00:40:12,748 --> 00:40:15,770
♪ I display them all for all to see ♪
964
00:40:15,770 --> 00:40:19,511
♪ Like the time that you were
kicked out of the girl scouts ♪
965
00:40:19,511 --> 00:40:22,690
♪ Or got high with your
boyfriend in a church ♪
966
00:40:22,690 --> 00:40:24,410
♪ Or how you were thrown in jail ♪
967
00:40:24,410 --> 00:40:26,990
♪ Trying to save a sea world whale ♪
968
00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:31,990
♪ It's all there when you hit search ♪
969
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,050
♪ And you can't erase it ♪
970
00:40:34,050 --> 00:40:35,967
♪ You can't suppress ♪
971
00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:38,719
♪ All the information
that my servers poses ♪
972
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,700
♪ There's a little
saying that I hold dear ♪
973
00:40:42,700 --> 00:40:45,625
♪ The world wide we is forever ♪
974
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:49,542
♪ So you've everything to fear ♪
975
00:40:52,297 --> 00:40:53,457
- What are you doing?
976
00:40:53,457 --> 00:40:54,777
- Well, if you googled me
977
00:40:54,777 --> 00:40:56,748
I think it's only fair
I google you right back
978
00:40:56,748 --> 00:40:57,581
don't you?
979
00:40:57,581 --> 00:41:01,313
- No, no, not at all, that's not the rule.
980
00:41:01,313 --> 00:41:03,230
You cannot believe everything
that you read on here.
981
00:41:03,230 --> 00:41:04,180
That's...
982
00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:05,263
Can I just...
983
00:41:09,502 --> 00:41:10,335
♪ Twitter ♪
984
00:41:10,335 --> 00:41:12,679
♪ Those tweets you tweeted
after your big break up ♪
985
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:13,521
♪ Facebook ♪
986
00:41:13,521 --> 00:41:16,128
♪ Your Facebook friends cap out of 54 ♪
987
00:41:16,128 --> 00:41:16,961
♪ YouTube ♪
988
00:41:16,961 --> 00:41:20,529
♪ That movie of you in
a dress and makeup ♪
989
00:41:20,529 --> 00:41:22,749
♪ Humping an inflated dinosaur ♪
990
00:41:22,749 --> 00:41:24,929
All right, that was a
fraternity hazing ritual.
991
00:41:24,929 --> 00:41:25,762
♪ Instagram ♪
992
00:41:25,762 --> 00:41:27,940
♪ Those pics where you looked
oranger than a pumpkin ♪
993
00:41:27,940 --> 00:41:28,939
That is bad spray tan.
994
00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:33,789
♪ Oh how you were accused of homicide ♪
995
00:41:33,789 --> 00:41:34,622
That's...
996
00:41:34,622 --> 00:41:37,913
No, that's another Aaron Goldfarb.
997
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,620
♪ All the world will always know ♪
998
00:41:39,620 --> 00:41:42,110
♪ How you hard a giant fro ♪
999
00:41:42,110 --> 00:41:47,110
♪ You can run but you can't hide ♪
1000
00:41:47,310 --> 00:41:50,892
♪ 'Cause you can't erase
it you can't suppress ♪
1001
00:41:50,892 --> 00:41:53,889
♪ All the information
that our servers possess ♪
1002
00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:57,892
♪ There's no hitting
backspace no second chance ♪
1003
00:41:57,892 --> 00:42:00,741
♪ The world wide web is forever ♪
1004
00:42:00,741 --> 00:42:04,908
♪ Threatening any shot at romance ♪
1005
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,270
Okay, hotshot, okay, I
didn't search had enough
1006
00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:10,521
the first time.
1007
00:42:10,521 --> 00:42:14,438
So let's see what other
dirt I can find on you.
1008
00:42:16,502 --> 00:42:19,099
(key boards clacking)
1009
00:42:19,099 --> 00:42:19,932
- [Casey] Wait.
1010
00:42:19,932 --> 00:42:20,889
- [Both] Oh my!
1011
00:42:20,889 --> 00:42:23,758
- In your high school
production of Hello Dolly-
1012
00:42:23,758 --> 00:42:25,549
- [Both] That's bad.
1013
00:42:25,549 --> 00:42:26,940
- You were Dolly.
1014
00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:28,659
- [Both] How embarrassing.
1015
00:42:28,659 --> 00:42:30,060
- I went to an All-Boys Academy.
1016
00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:31,569
And I'll have you know,
the school newspaper
1017
00:42:31,569 --> 00:42:34,729
people call my work "oddly compelling."
1018
00:42:34,729 --> 00:42:36,598
♪ Oh wow ♪
1019
00:42:36,598 --> 00:42:39,550
♪ No way ♪
1020
00:42:39,550 --> 00:42:42,118
♪ You did that ♪
1021
00:42:42,118 --> 00:42:45,860
♪ This can't be you awkward ♪
1022
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,820
♪ what were you thinking pervert ♪
1023
00:42:48,820 --> 00:42:53,820
♪ You can't escape us
we are always there ♪
1024
00:42:55,220 --> 00:42:56,678
♪ Watching and waiting ♪
1025
00:42:56,678 --> 00:42:59,069
♪ And sometimes misstating the truth ♪
1026
00:42:59,069 --> 00:43:01,910
♪ Thus negating your chances of meeting ♪
1027
00:43:01,910 --> 00:43:03,518
♪ No point in debating ♪
1028
00:43:03,518 --> 00:43:06,990
♪ 'Cause we've been
creating a hell unabating ♪
1029
00:43:06,990 --> 00:43:09,099
♪ For anyone dating ♪
1030
00:43:09,099 --> 00:43:10,860
♪ Oh you can't delete ♪
1031
00:43:10,860 --> 00:43:12,910
♪ All the crap you've done ♪
1032
00:43:12,910 --> 00:43:14,750
♪ It's man versus the internet ♪
1033
00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:16,150
♪ And guess who has won ♪
1034
00:43:16,150 --> 00:43:18,310
♪ So remember when you Skype ♪
1035
00:43:18,310 --> 00:43:19,980
♪ In the nude ♪
1036
00:43:19,980 --> 00:43:23,398
♪ The world wide web is forever ♪
1037
00:43:23,398 --> 00:43:26,807
♪ The world wide web is forever ♪
1038
00:43:26,807 --> 00:43:30,798
♪ The world wide web is forever ♪
1039
00:43:30,798 --> 00:43:35,798
♪ Take note or you're totally screwed ♪
1040
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,782
♪ You're really screwed ♪
1041
00:43:42,750 --> 00:43:45,169
Wait, can we please just
call the truce please?
1042
00:43:45,169 --> 00:43:46,489
- Okay,
- Okay,
1043
00:43:46,489 --> 00:43:47,838
- Phones down.
- Yes back in their holsters.
1044
00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:49,171
Turn, yes, boom.
1045
00:43:50,590 --> 00:43:54,580
So we both have things
floating around on the internet
1046
00:43:54,580 --> 00:43:55,678
that we're not proud of.
1047
00:43:55,678 --> 00:43:58,597
- Yes, and there's no way
to get rid of them either.
1048
00:43:58,597 --> 00:43:59,809
Believe me I've tried.
1049
00:43:59,809 --> 00:44:01,388
- You know what, I
think it's funny, right?
1050
00:44:01,388 --> 00:44:03,569
The internet is supposed
to be this great way
1051
00:44:03,569 --> 00:44:05,260
of connecting people or whatever.
1052
00:44:05,260 --> 00:44:07,558
But I actually think that
it's doing the opposite.
1053
00:44:07,558 --> 00:44:09,358
Especially when it comes to dating.
1054
00:44:09,358 --> 00:44:12,740
- I agree, I think when
you can find out everything
1055
00:44:12,740 --> 00:44:14,348
you would ever wanna know about somebody
1056
00:44:14,348 --> 00:44:16,108
before meeting them,
what's the fun of that?
1057
00:44:16,108 --> 00:44:16,941
- Right, right.
1058
00:44:16,941 --> 00:44:18,860
It's like you make all
these unfair judgments
1059
00:44:18,860 --> 00:44:22,219
about someone without ever
seeing the person face-to-face.
1060
00:44:22,219 --> 00:44:24,917
- Or experiencing what it's
like to interact with them.
1061
00:44:24,917 --> 00:44:26,478
- Yes, to hear their voice.
1062
00:44:26,478 --> 00:44:29,409
- God forbid, maybe touch them.
1063
00:44:29,409 --> 00:44:32,268
- Would you please explain
to me that hand move?
1064
00:44:32,268 --> 00:44:35,344
- Dude, I can't believe she
totally put her hand on you.
1065
00:44:35,344 --> 00:44:36,563
- What, that, that was nothing.
1066
00:44:36,563 --> 00:44:37,493
- Yes, I know Gabe.
1067
00:44:37,493 --> 00:44:38,893
But I'm trying not to
make a big deal out of it.
1068
00:44:38,893 --> 00:44:39,726
So sh.
1069
00:44:39,726 --> 00:44:40,559
- Look at me Case,
1070
00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:42,584
now, do you wanna find
something genuine and meaningful
1071
00:44:42,584 --> 00:44:45,173
like I have with Kevin or not?
1072
00:44:45,173 --> 00:44:47,236
- Yes, I mean, in theory.
1073
00:44:47,236 --> 00:44:48,626
- You got to start playing it slow.
1074
00:44:48,626 --> 00:44:50,707
'Cause landing a quality
guy's like a marathon,
1075
00:44:50,707 --> 00:44:52,895
not a sprint to fuck county.
1076
00:44:52,895 --> 00:44:55,387
- Dude, whatever it is
you're doing, keep doing it
1077
00:44:55,387 --> 00:44:58,085
'cause you might actually
have a shot with this one.
1078
00:44:58,085 --> 00:44:59,845
I know I'm as shocked as you're.
1079
00:44:59,845 --> 00:45:02,237
- Hi, how are we doing over here?
1080
00:45:02,237 --> 00:45:04,717
- Uh, good, good, I'm good, you good?
1081
00:45:04,717 --> 00:45:05,550
- Yeah, good.
1082
00:45:05,550 --> 00:45:06,383
- Everyone's good.
1083
00:45:06,383 --> 00:45:07,216
(both laughs)
1084
00:45:07,216 --> 00:45:08,049
Whatever, you good?
1085
00:45:08,049 --> 00:45:09,632
- Yeah, poop, poop!
1086
00:45:11,642 --> 00:45:12,994
- Thank you.
1087
00:45:12,994 --> 00:45:16,002
- Here we go, can I get
you guys anything else?
1088
00:45:16,002 --> 00:45:17,482
- No, you know what?
1089
00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:20,114
Actually, I'm pretty starving.
1090
00:45:20,114 --> 00:45:21,452
You wanna grab something to eat?
1091
00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:22,674
Food's supposed to be real good here.
1092
00:45:22,674 --> 00:45:23,634
- Could eat something, yeah.
1093
00:45:23,634 --> 00:45:24,503
- Great, great!
1094
00:45:24,503 --> 00:45:25,674
- Great!
1095
00:45:25,674 --> 00:45:26,802
Right this way.
1096
00:45:26,802 --> 00:45:29,132
- All right, thanks.
1097
00:45:29,132 --> 00:45:29,965
After you.
1098
00:45:29,965 --> 00:45:31,233
- Yes.
1099
00:45:31,233 --> 00:45:34,150
(soft piano music)
1100
00:45:35,461 --> 00:45:37,772
- Hey, hi, how are you doing?
1101
00:45:37,772 --> 00:45:39,183
You good?
1102
00:45:39,183 --> 00:45:42,831
This is a Meta-Moment where I
directly address the camera.
1103
00:45:42,831 --> 00:45:44,410
Have you ever been on a first date
1104
00:45:44,410 --> 00:45:45,522
and you really got to pee
1105
00:45:45,522 --> 00:45:47,922
but you can't quite work out when to go.
1106
00:45:47,922 --> 00:45:50,591
Well, I always recommend
going in between courses
1107
00:45:50,591 --> 00:45:52,532
which is right now.
1108
00:45:52,532 --> 00:45:55,191
So go to the restroom top up your wine,
1109
00:45:55,191 --> 00:45:56,223
do whatever you got to do.
1110
00:45:56,223 --> 00:45:57,282
You got three minutes.
1111
00:45:57,282 --> 00:45:58,850
So I recommend it's only a pee.
1112
00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:00,350
Ready, steady, go!
1113
00:46:02,103 --> 00:46:05,020
(soft piano music)
1114
00:46:13,903 --> 00:46:18,320
Yeah, this is literally how
we're doing the interval.
1115
00:46:19,751 --> 00:46:22,621
(soft piano music)
1116
00:46:22,621 --> 00:46:23,943
That's a nice lamp.
1117
00:46:23,943 --> 00:46:26,860
(soft piano music)
1118
00:46:29,261 --> 00:46:32,262
Got a dead leg already (laughs).
1119
00:46:32,262 --> 00:46:35,179
(soft piano music)
1120
00:46:40,423 --> 00:46:41,703
Do you mind if I don't smile?
1121
00:46:41,703 --> 00:46:43,063
My jaw's kind of aching (Chuckles).
1122
00:46:43,063 --> 00:46:45,980
(soft piano music)
1123
00:46:56,812 --> 00:46:58,324
Damn, some nice cushions.
1124
00:46:58,324 --> 00:47:00,474
Where did they come from, Walmart?
1125
00:47:00,474 --> 00:47:03,391
(soft piano music)
1126
00:47:08,164 --> 00:47:08,997
No, no.
1127
00:47:08,997 --> 00:47:09,830
No, no, seriously,
1128
00:47:09,830 --> 00:47:11,474
I don't get any more
interesting than this.
1129
00:47:11,474 --> 00:47:13,057
Go, go pee, go pee.
1130
00:47:15,652 --> 00:47:17,644
Gentlemen, only shake it twice,
1131
00:47:17,644 --> 00:47:19,652
more than twice and
you're playing with it.
1132
00:47:19,652 --> 00:47:22,569
(soft piano music)
1133
00:47:29,463 --> 00:47:31,652
Madam, did you not plan
on wearing any clothes
1134
00:47:31,652 --> 00:47:32,661
for this live stream?
1135
00:47:32,661 --> 00:47:35,922
I mean it's fine but it's
just a little disrespectful.
1136
00:47:35,922 --> 00:47:38,839
(soft piano music)
1137
00:47:39,794 --> 00:47:43,034
Sir, you be as disrespectful
as you want (laughs).
1138
00:47:43,034 --> 00:47:45,951
(soft piano music)
1139
00:47:49,111 --> 00:47:50,944
I love a bichon frise.
1140
00:47:52,154 --> 00:47:54,721
Hey, what's your name?
1141
00:47:54,721 --> 00:47:56,423
(barks) (laughs)
1142
00:47:56,423 --> 00:47:58,120
I'm a dog whisper.
1143
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,037
(soft piano music)
1144
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,540
♪ When I say digital ♪
1145
00:48:03,540 --> 00:48:04,791
♪ You say musical ♪
1146
00:48:04,791 --> 00:48:06,129
♪ Digital digital ♪
1147
00:48:06,129 --> 00:48:07,450
♪ Digital digital ♪
1148
00:48:07,450 --> 00:48:08,399
Did you do it?
1149
00:48:08,399 --> 00:48:09,439
I bet you didn't.
1150
00:48:09,439 --> 00:48:12,356
(soft piano music)
1151
00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:19,528
Now we're two minutes, 16 in.
1152
00:48:21,647 --> 00:48:23,258
I don't know why I chose that timestamp
1153
00:48:23,258 --> 00:48:24,599
but it's not particularly important.
1154
00:48:24,599 --> 00:48:27,516
(soft piano music)
1155
00:48:30,610 --> 00:48:32,170
Now you got 30 seconds left.
1156
00:48:32,170 --> 00:48:33,710
There's a lot you can do in 30 seconds.
1157
00:48:33,710 --> 00:48:34,631
Isn't that sir?
1158
00:48:34,631 --> 00:48:37,548
(soft piano music)
1159
00:48:38,518 --> 00:48:40,601
Should we do a countdown?
1160
00:48:42,678 --> 00:48:45,620
Okay, we're gonna count down from 10.
1161
00:48:45,620 --> 00:48:46,453
Ready?
1162
00:48:48,438 --> 00:48:49,355
Here we go.
1163
00:48:50,588 --> 00:48:51,911
10,
1164
00:48:51,911 --> 00:48:52,951
nine,
1165
00:48:52,951 --> 00:48:53,879
eight,
1166
00:48:53,879 --> 00:48:54,810
seven,
1167
00:48:54,810 --> 00:48:55,830
six,
1168
00:48:55,830 --> 00:48:56,770
five,
1169
00:48:56,770 --> 00:48:57,719
four,
1170
00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:58,591
three,
1171
00:48:58,591 --> 00:48:59,671
two,
1172
00:48:59,671 --> 00:49:01,159
one.
1173
00:49:01,159 --> 00:49:03,778
Okay, let's get back to the first date.
1174
00:49:03,778 --> 00:49:06,945
(footsteps pattering)
1175
00:49:07,842 --> 00:49:08,842
- Thank you.
1176
00:49:10,495 --> 00:49:12,064
- Here we go.
1177
00:49:12,064 --> 00:49:13,015
- Thank you so much.
1178
00:49:13,015 --> 00:49:13,848
- Uh-huh.
1179
00:49:13,848 --> 00:49:15,598
- Okay, all the best.
1180
00:49:20,615 --> 00:49:23,534
So, anything jumping out at you?
1181
00:49:23,534 --> 00:49:25,075
- I don't know.
1182
00:49:25,075 --> 00:49:27,195
The burger and fries
sounds pretty amazing.
1183
00:49:27,195 --> 00:49:29,666
- Sure it does if you're
trying to make weight,
1184
00:49:29,666 --> 00:49:32,146
right before a big Sumo
Wrestling Competition,
1185
00:49:32,146 --> 00:49:33,015
but not on a first date.
1186
00:49:33,015 --> 00:49:33,848
- Why not?
1187
00:49:33,848 --> 00:49:35,294
It shows that I'm confident with my body
1188
00:49:35,294 --> 00:49:36,837
and I don't have any weird eating issue.
1189
00:49:36,837 --> 00:49:38,285
- No, it shows him that you have
1190
00:49:38,285 --> 00:49:39,695
an unusually healthy appetite.
1191
00:49:39,695 --> 00:49:42,277
And then one day all of
this is gonna go away
1192
00:49:42,277 --> 00:49:44,083
and you're gonna end
up on the biggest loser
1193
00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:46,397
"Gee, I wonder why I'm
still single" edition.
1194
00:49:46,397 --> 00:49:48,745
- That's ridiculous, guys
don't think like that.
1195
00:49:48,745 --> 00:49:50,664
I'm getting the burger.
1196
00:49:50,664 --> 00:49:51,885
What are you looking at?
1197
00:49:51,885 --> 00:49:53,204
- I don't know, maybe the chop salad.
1198
00:49:53,204 --> 00:49:55,237
- No, fuck you, you're not getting that.
1199
00:49:55,237 --> 00:49:56,146
- What's the big deal?
1200
00:49:56,146 --> 00:49:57,565
- Salads are for pussies.
1201
00:49:57,565 --> 00:49:59,575
You're getting a burger, rare.
1202
00:49:59,575 --> 00:50:01,775
- But I want a salad.
1203
00:50:01,775 --> 00:50:03,375
- And I want Taylor Swift
1204
00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:04,845
but you know how I'm not getting her
1205
00:50:04,845 --> 00:50:08,495
by ordering a sissy salad
with my balls on the side,
1206
00:50:08,495 --> 00:50:09,877
on our very first date.
1207
00:50:09,877 --> 00:50:10,710
- You're insane, okay?
1208
00:50:10,710 --> 00:50:11,543
I'm not listening to you.
1209
00:50:11,543 --> 00:50:14,151
I want to chop salad, remember
the chopped salad, okay?
1210
00:50:14,151 --> 00:50:14,984
(glass clings)
1211
00:50:14,984 --> 00:50:16,085
- Made any decisions?
1212
00:50:16,085 --> 00:50:17,237
- I'll have the chop salad, please.
1213
00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:18,715
- I'll get the burger.
1214
00:50:18,715 --> 00:50:20,035
- Thank you, coming right up.
1215
00:50:20,035 --> 00:50:20,868
- Thanks.
1216
00:50:22,615 --> 00:50:24,365
Salad, what happened?
1217
00:50:26,404 --> 00:50:27,535
Thought you were gonna get the burger.
1218
00:50:27,535 --> 00:50:30,704
Hope you didn't order the
salad for my benefit, did you?
1219
00:50:30,704 --> 00:50:33,543
- No, of course not, why would I do that?
1220
00:50:33,543 --> 00:50:36,064
Well, some girls think
that they got to order
1221
00:50:36,064 --> 00:50:37,192
a salad on the first date.
1222
00:50:37,192 --> 00:50:38,243
They gonna show the guy that they care
1223
00:50:38,243 --> 00:50:39,491
about their body or whatever,
1224
00:50:39,491 --> 00:50:42,340
which I think is completely
ridiculous (laughs).
1225
00:50:42,340 --> 00:50:43,173
- You do?
1226
00:50:43,173 --> 00:50:44,006
- Well, yeah, for sure, I mean
1227
00:50:44,006 --> 00:50:46,312
if honest I'd rather order
some meat and potatoes.
1228
00:50:46,312 --> 00:50:47,792
Really just get in there, right?
1229
00:50:47,792 --> 00:50:49,250
But that's just my preference.
1230
00:50:49,250 --> 00:50:50,211
- So are you telling me
1231
00:50:50,211 --> 00:50:54,572
that you don't care
about how a girl looks?
1232
00:50:54,572 --> 00:50:57,822
- No, not really, rather she was happy.
1233
00:50:59,022 --> 00:50:59,855
- For real?
1234
00:50:59,855 --> 00:51:01,272
- Yeah, for real.
1235
00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:04,920
I mean it, at the end of the day looks go,
1236
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,948
but if you still have things in common,
1237
00:51:06,948 --> 00:51:08,138
and can still make each other laugh,
1238
00:51:08,138 --> 00:51:11,471
then that's all that really matters, uh?
1239
00:51:13,127 --> 00:51:15,174
- [Rocker guy] You have
got to be kidding me.
1240
00:51:15,174 --> 00:51:18,825
- You're not really gonna fall
for this bollocks, are you?
1241
00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:20,226
- Come on guys, leave us alone,
1242
00:51:20,226 --> 00:51:22,887
you have no right to get
in the middle of this.
1243
00:51:22,887 --> 00:51:25,938
- We have every right to
get in the middle of this.
1244
00:51:25,938 --> 00:51:27,127
- We're your past.
1245
00:51:27,127 --> 00:51:28,818
- And your future, love.
1246
00:51:28,818 --> 00:51:31,847
- Look, you guys satisfied
a very specific need
1247
00:51:31,847 --> 00:51:33,357
at a very specific time.
1248
00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:36,167
But thankfully that phase is over.
1249
00:51:36,167 --> 00:51:37,864
- You always think it's over.
1250
00:51:37,864 --> 00:51:42,281
- You like bad boys Casey,
not this, it's who you're.
1251
00:51:43,858 --> 00:51:45,205
- Why fight it?
1252
00:51:45,205 --> 00:51:46,357
(upbeat rock music)
1253
00:51:46,357 --> 00:51:49,258
♪ I never open up your door ♪
1254
00:51:49,258 --> 00:51:52,287
♪ I never shower you with praise ♪
1255
00:51:52,287 --> 00:51:54,618
♪ When you call or text my phone ♪
1256
00:51:54,618 --> 00:51:58,477
♪ I don't reply to you for days ♪
1257
00:51:58,477 --> 00:52:03,477
♪ I can't hold down a
job I failed my GED ♪
1258
00:52:04,017 --> 00:52:08,058
♪ I'm angry and indifferent and babe ♪
1259
00:52:08,058 --> 00:52:11,327
♪ Ooh babe that's why you love me ♪
1260
00:52:11,327 --> 00:52:16,327
♪ Ooh that's why you love me ♪
1261
00:52:16,327 --> 00:52:19,258
♪ I'll take you out to awesome meals ♪
1262
00:52:19,258 --> 00:52:22,436
♪ But can't afford to pay the checks ♪
1263
00:52:22,436 --> 00:52:24,487
♪ I will pledge eternal love ♪
1264
00:52:24,487 --> 00:52:28,527
♪ Then leave your place right after sex ♪
1265
00:52:28,527 --> 00:52:30,996
♪ I always say I'm booked ♪
1266
00:52:30,996 --> 00:52:34,034
♪ In truth I'm usually free ♪
1267
00:52:34,034 --> 00:52:37,616
♪ I canceled on your birthday and babe ♪
1268
00:52:37,616 --> 00:52:41,747
♪ Ooh babe, that's why you love me ♪
1269
00:52:41,747 --> 00:52:44,896
♪ That's why you love me ♪
1270
00:52:44,896 --> 00:52:49,526
♪ That's why you love me ♪
1271
00:52:49,526 --> 00:52:51,926
♪ You love how I keep you guessing ♪
1272
00:52:51,926 --> 00:52:55,347
♪ If I'm interested or not ♪
1273
00:52:55,347 --> 00:52:57,155
♪ And how I tell your mother ♪
1274
00:52:57,155 --> 00:53:01,395
♪ That she is super-frickin' hot ♪
1275
00:53:01,395 --> 00:53:04,256
♪ How I cover up my lies ♪
1276
00:53:04,256 --> 00:53:07,314
♪ By saying I'm hanging with the guys ♪
1277
00:53:07,314 --> 00:53:09,955
♪ No one will treat you half as nice ♪
1278
00:53:09,955 --> 00:53:14,955
♪ I only cheated on you twice ♪
1279
00:53:17,907 --> 00:53:20,073
♪ You've got no choice
you know you're hooked ♪
1280
00:53:20,073 --> 00:53:20,906
♪ You're hooked ♪
1281
00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:22,987
♪ You gave it up on our first date ♪
1282
00:53:22,987 --> 00:53:23,894
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1283
00:53:23,894 --> 00:53:26,107
♪ After I told you you looked fine ♪
1284
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:28,696
♪ But had to lose a little weight ♪
1285
00:53:28,696 --> 00:53:30,016
♪ Only 10 pounds ♪
1286
00:53:30,016 --> 00:53:32,355
♪ I'm bound to disappoint ♪
1287
00:53:32,355 --> 00:53:35,395
♪ I'm sure that you'd agree ♪
1288
00:53:35,395 --> 00:53:38,347
♪ I'm snotty and neglectful ♪
1289
00:53:38,347 --> 00:53:41,355
♪ I'm nasty and self-serving ♪
1290
00:53:41,355 --> 00:53:45,646
♪ I've got a giant penis and babe ♪
1291
00:53:45,646 --> 00:53:48,094
♪ Ooh, babe that's why you love me ♪
1292
00:53:48,094 --> 00:53:49,247
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
1293
00:53:49,247 --> 00:53:51,248
♪ That's why you love me ♪
1294
00:53:51,248 --> 00:53:52,427
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1295
00:53:52,427 --> 00:53:56,848
♪ That's why you love me ♪
1296
00:53:56,848 --> 00:54:00,688
♪ That's why you love me ♪
1297
00:54:00,688 --> 00:54:03,888
- Tell me, Aaron, have
you ever been arrested?
1298
00:54:03,888 --> 00:54:04,975
- Sorry?
1299
00:54:04,975 --> 00:54:07,947
- Done any jail time, I'll even
count juvie, I'm not picky.
1300
00:54:07,947 --> 00:54:11,407
- Oh no, no jail time here
to visit Alcatraz once.
1301
00:54:11,407 --> 00:54:12,240
Hey, fun fact.
1302
00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:15,797
- How about drugs, ecstasy,
coke, methamphetamines
1303
00:54:15,797 --> 00:54:18,207
ever had what people might call problem.
1304
00:54:18,207 --> 00:54:20,616
- Tried mushrooms in college
one night accidentally.
1305
00:54:20,616 --> 00:54:22,056
That's why I make my own pizzas now.
1306
00:54:22,056 --> 00:54:23,688
- Random piercings, tattoos,
1307
00:54:23,688 --> 00:54:25,547
I'll even settle for henna (laughs).
1308
00:54:25,547 --> 00:54:29,215
- No, I'm a little confused by this.
1309
00:54:29,215 --> 00:54:30,896
Where are these questions coming from?
1310
00:54:30,896 --> 00:54:34,335
- Listen Aaron, I think
you were really sweet.
1311
00:54:34,335 --> 00:54:36,536
Really put together a guy
1312
00:54:36,536 --> 00:54:40,119
but I'm usually more
attracted to bad boys.
1313
00:54:44,776 --> 00:54:49,048
- And I guess that means
that you think that I'm-
1314
00:54:49,048 --> 00:54:52,816
- Not a bad boy, which is totally fine.
1315
00:54:52,816 --> 00:54:53,776
You're who you're.
1316
00:54:53,776 --> 00:54:56,787
It's just not what I normally go for.
1317
00:54:56,787 --> 00:54:57,620
- Right, yeah.
1318
00:54:57,620 --> 00:54:59,787
But I may not be a bad boy
1319
00:55:01,115 --> 00:55:04,776
in the traditional bad
boy sense of the word.
1320
00:55:04,776 --> 00:55:05,798
But that doesn't mean
1321
00:55:05,798 --> 00:55:08,328
that I've never done anything bad before.
1322
00:55:08,328 --> 00:55:09,161
- Have you?
1323
00:55:09,161 --> 00:55:11,248
- Yeah, there's a lot of layers here.
1324
00:55:11,248 --> 00:55:12,107
We've been talking for what?
1325
00:55:12,107 --> 00:55:13,136
Like an hour?
1326
00:55:13,136 --> 00:55:15,598
That's barely scraping the
surface of who I really am.
1327
00:55:15,598 --> 00:55:18,128
- All right, maybe I don't
know what I'm talking about.
1328
00:55:18,128 --> 00:55:21,348
How about you tell me
something bad that you've done.
1329
00:55:21,348 --> 00:55:22,515
- Yes, gladly.
1330
00:55:24,819 --> 00:55:26,158
You mean now?
1331
00:55:26,158 --> 00:55:28,325
Okay, fine, something bad.
1332
00:55:31,618 --> 00:55:32,760
Okay, got it.
1333
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,208
One nightstand, done it.
1334
00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:36,040
This guy, okay, boom!
1335
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:36,873
- Have you?
1336
00:55:36,873 --> 00:55:38,540
- Yes Casey, I have.
1337
00:55:40,399 --> 00:55:42,799
Can you just define exactly
what nightstand means?
1338
00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:45,549
(phone vibrates)
1339
00:55:47,070 --> 00:55:47,920
You wanna get your phone?
1340
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,488
- Absolutely not, I'd
rather stick with this.
1341
00:55:50,488 --> 00:55:51,321
- You can get it.
1342
00:55:51,321 --> 00:55:52,154
I don't mind if you get your phone.
1343
00:55:52,154 --> 00:55:52,987
- Yeah, see, that's what this amazing
1344
00:55:52,987 --> 00:55:54,510
new invention called "voicemail's" for.
1345
00:55:54,510 --> 00:55:56,470
Now, let me clarify.
1346
00:55:56,470 --> 00:55:57,600
- [Voice over] Hey, It's Casey.
1347
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,200
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1348
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,150
♪ This is your bailout sweetie ♪
1349
00:56:02,150 --> 00:56:05,430
♪ Your bailout honey I'm
calling to bail you out ♪
1350
00:56:05,430 --> 00:56:07,462
♪ And I'm getting your
voicemail once again ♪
1351
00:56:07,462 --> 00:56:09,942
♪ What's the deal I mean
it really call me back ♪
1352
00:56:09,942 --> 00:56:13,851
♪ Because I'm bored and
I'm feeling totes ignored ♪
1353
00:56:13,851 --> 00:56:16,090
♪ Later slut ♪
1354
00:56:16,090 --> 00:56:17,712
- My definition of a one night stand
1355
00:56:17,712 --> 00:56:20,392
is meeting some random girl in a bar,
1356
00:56:20,392 --> 00:56:23,352
having your way with her and
then never seeing her again.
1357
00:56:23,352 --> 00:56:24,342
Is that what you did?
1358
00:56:24,342 --> 00:56:27,001
- No, no, not exactly.
1359
00:56:27,001 --> 00:56:28,959
- Who was she?
1360
00:56:28,959 --> 00:56:33,347
- She was my next door
neighbor all of growing up.
1361
00:56:33,347 --> 00:56:37,570
But it affected our
relationship in a bad way, so-
1362
00:56:37,570 --> 00:56:40,209
- Listen, Aaron, I appreciate the effort
1363
00:56:40,209 --> 00:56:44,039
but I think before this
date goes any further,
1364
00:56:44,039 --> 00:56:45,359
I think we should just admit
1365
00:56:45,359 --> 00:56:48,776
that this is maybe not a love connection,
1366
00:56:51,028 --> 00:56:51,861
- But-
- No,
1367
00:56:51,861 --> 00:56:54,358
you're really, really great guy.
1368
00:56:54,358 --> 00:56:56,700
And I think there's a perfect
girl out there for you.
1369
00:56:56,700 --> 00:56:57,700
It's just...
1370
00:56:59,329 --> 00:57:04,306
What I'm trying to say is I
really think we should be-
1371
00:57:04,306 --> 00:57:06,220
- Okay, sorry.
1372
00:57:06,220 --> 00:57:07,803
Hold on one second.
1373
00:57:08,798 --> 00:57:10,158
Did I miss something?
1374
00:57:10,158 --> 00:57:11,540
Because I was actually
under the impression
1375
00:57:11,540 --> 00:57:13,723
that the state was going pretty well,
1376
00:57:13,723 --> 00:57:15,500
but now the meal, isn't it even here yet,
1377
00:57:15,500 --> 00:57:18,300
and she is about to put me smack dab
1378
00:57:18,300 --> 00:57:20,311
right in the middle of the friend-zone.
1379
00:57:20,311 --> 00:57:22,191
Do you have any idea what that means?
1380
00:57:22,191 --> 00:57:26,118
- The friend-zone is for
platonic relationships only
1381
00:57:26,118 --> 00:57:26,951
no grouping.
1382
00:57:26,951 --> 00:57:27,784
- And here we go.
1383
00:57:27,784 --> 00:57:30,081
- The friend-zone is for
last-minute party advice
1384
00:57:30,081 --> 00:57:32,380
because the guy she really
likes can't make it.
1385
00:57:32,380 --> 00:57:33,799
No oral pleasure.
1386
00:57:33,799 --> 00:57:35,972
- How did I end up here?
1387
00:57:35,972 --> 00:57:39,618
Again, sure, maybe there were a few things
1388
00:57:39,618 --> 00:57:41,187
that I could've done differently.
1389
00:57:41,187 --> 00:57:44,860
But just to thrust me back into the-
1390
00:57:44,860 --> 00:57:47,500
- The friend-zone is
for emotional support,
1391
00:57:47,500 --> 00:57:50,740
self-esteem boosting and
torturous mind games,
1392
00:57:50,740 --> 00:57:51,990
no penetration.
1393
00:57:54,420 --> 00:57:56,756
- It just seems a little harsh, right?
1394
00:57:56,756 --> 00:57:58,423
I just don't get it.
1395
00:57:59,303 --> 00:58:02,220
I'm always destined to be that guy,
1396
00:58:03,792 --> 00:58:07,959
sweet, the ever faithful,
loyal, dependable buddy.
1397
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:14,440
Dear God, I'm not a man, I'm
a fuckin' puppy (chuckles).
1398
00:58:19,531 --> 00:58:22,031
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
1399
00:58:23,161 --> 00:58:24,321
You just wanna be my-
1400
00:58:24,321 --> 00:58:27,571
- Friend, I think we should be friends.
1401
00:58:31,023 --> 00:58:34,856
- Uh, no, thank you for
that kind offer Casey.
1402
00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:41,353
It's a lot to think about, so thank you
1403
00:58:41,353 --> 00:58:44,113
because who doesn't need
more friends, right?
1404
00:58:44,113 --> 00:58:48,530
'Cause friends are the
flowers in the garden of life.
1405
00:58:50,196 --> 00:58:52,633
(Aaron laughs)
1406
00:58:52,633 --> 00:58:57,633
So let's just plant the seed
of friendship and see how it...
1407
00:58:58,561 --> 00:59:00,467
Can you just excuse me for one second,
1408
00:59:00,467 --> 00:59:02,228
I'm gonna go to the bathroom
1409
00:59:02,228 --> 00:59:05,978
and try and drown myself
in the urinal, okay.
1410
00:59:07,995 --> 00:59:10,912
(soft piano music)
1411
00:59:12,378 --> 00:59:15,468
- So tell me, how's it feel
being a relationship assassin?
1412
00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:17,016
- Lauren, give it a rest.
1413
00:59:17,016 --> 00:59:18,716
- I just don't understand,
1414
00:59:18,716 --> 00:59:21,146
you claim to want what Kevin and I have,
1415
00:59:21,146 --> 00:59:22,475
but when you find a guy
1416
00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:24,578
who could actually give
you all those same things,
1417
00:59:24,578 --> 00:59:26,666
you totally sabotage it.
1418
00:59:26,666 --> 00:59:28,815
- I know, I have a problem.
1419
00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:30,708
- You really do.
1420
00:59:30,708 --> 00:59:32,708
What does your therapist say about this?
1421
00:59:32,708 --> 00:59:34,119
- Blah, blah, blah.
1422
00:59:34,119 --> 00:59:36,567
- [Aaron] Blah, blah,
blah, fear of commitment.
1423
00:59:36,567 --> 00:59:38,026
- Can you be a little more specific?
1424
00:59:38,026 --> 00:59:40,298
- Not really 'cause
that's pretty much exactly
1425
00:59:40,298 --> 00:59:43,087
what I hear in my head
every time I talk to him.
1426
00:59:43,087 --> 00:59:45,178
- Okay, then just talk to me.
1427
00:59:45,178 --> 00:59:47,138
I'm your sister, and even I don't get it.
1428
00:59:47,138 --> 00:59:48,314
- Get what Lauren?
1429
00:59:48,314 --> 00:59:50,428
- These walls you put up.
1430
00:59:50,428 --> 00:59:52,628
We're family and I can't
even begin to break
1431
00:59:52,628 --> 00:59:54,098
through this hard exterior of yours.
1432
00:59:54,098 --> 00:59:55,498
- Well, keeping you at arms length.
1433
00:59:55,498 --> 00:59:58,396
I do consider one of my
most crowning achievements.
1434
00:59:58,396 --> 01:00:00,898
- Joke, all you want, we
both know all this bravado
1435
01:00:00,898 --> 01:00:03,607
is really just you being
afraid of getting hurt.
1436
01:00:03,607 --> 01:00:06,098
I mean, let's be honest.
1437
01:00:06,098 --> 01:00:08,835
The same thing that happened
with your photography show.
1438
01:00:08,835 --> 01:00:10,607
- It wasn't ready.
1439
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:12,524
- No, you weren't ready
1440
01:00:14,458 --> 01:00:17,056
'Case you had all these amazing photos
1441
01:00:17,056 --> 01:00:19,966
and a gallery that was
willing to exhibit anything
1442
01:00:19,966 --> 01:00:21,674
you wanted to give them.
1443
01:00:21,674 --> 01:00:24,738
And right at the last
second, you backed out.
1444
01:00:24,738 --> 01:00:29,108
It's the same thing with
every single guy in your life.
1445
01:00:29,108 --> 01:00:33,268
There's always some reason
or another lame excuse
1446
01:00:33,268 --> 01:00:36,125
as to why things don't
work out over and over-
1447
01:00:36,125 --> 01:00:38,287
- Okay, Lauren, I get it.
1448
01:00:38,287 --> 01:00:41,204
(soft piano music)
1449
01:00:49,964 --> 01:00:54,964
♪ I know that I have issues
I face them I swear ♪
1450
01:00:56,228 --> 01:01:01,228
♪ Think I overcome them then
turn they're still there ♪
1451
01:01:01,887 --> 01:01:03,828
♪ Wish that I was different ♪
1452
01:01:03,828 --> 01:01:07,116
♪ I'd like to let go ♪
1453
01:01:07,116 --> 01:01:12,116
♪ But when I try to change
there's my past saying no ♪
1454
01:01:12,338 --> 01:01:15,218
♪ Maybe it's all 'cause
of dad his new kids ♪
1455
01:01:15,218 --> 01:01:19,087
♪ His new wife or why not just blame mom ♪
1456
01:01:19,087 --> 01:01:24,087
♪ Who's been nuts my whole life ♪
1457
01:01:24,615 --> 01:01:29,007
♪ When you've felt so alone
since the moment of birth ♪
1458
01:01:29,007 --> 01:01:30,596
♪ And you've struggled to find ♪
1459
01:01:30,596 --> 01:01:33,127
♪ Your own true sense of worth ♪
1460
01:01:33,127 --> 01:01:37,628
♪ When it seems there is no
one across this whole earth ♪
1461
01:01:37,628 --> 01:01:41,018
♪ To depend upon you carry on ♪
1462
01:01:41,018 --> 01:01:46,018
♪ Just like you always do ♪
1463
01:01:46,076 --> 01:01:49,687
♪ 'Cause it's safer ♪
1464
01:01:49,687 --> 01:01:52,636
♪ To rely on you ♪
1465
01:01:52,636 --> 01:01:56,553
♪ Oh it's safer to rely on you ♪
1466
01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:10,647
♪ Seen a million movies
all selling true love ♪
1467
01:02:10,647 --> 01:02:14,874
♪ Fantasies I'm not sure
that I'm worthy of ♪
1468
01:02:14,874 --> 01:02:18,887
♪ Caution to the wind my
heart's been on display ♪
1469
01:02:18,887 --> 01:02:23,127
♪ Still the end result
is it's not gone my way ♪
1470
01:02:23,127 --> 01:02:27,658
♪ So when I date some new guy
who's a deadbeat or jerk ♪
1471
01:02:27,658 --> 01:02:32,658
♪ At least I'm not so crushed
when it all doesn't work ♪
1472
01:02:34,646 --> 01:02:36,738
♪ When you once, unafraid ♪
1473
01:02:36,738 --> 01:02:38,967
♪ Wore your heart on your sleeve ♪
1474
01:02:38,967 --> 01:02:43,028
♪ And the ones that you loved
chose to just turn and leave ♪
1475
01:02:43,028 --> 01:02:47,228
♪ Every day it gets harder
to somehow believe ♪
1476
01:02:47,228 --> 01:02:50,596
♪ You will survive so you strive ♪
1477
01:02:50,596 --> 01:02:55,314
♪ Just to keep up your guard ♪
1478
01:02:55,314 --> 01:03:00,314
♪ 'Cause it's safer to hold every card ♪
1479
01:03:01,614 --> 01:03:06,614
♪ Oh it's safer to hold every card ♪
1480
01:03:09,806 --> 01:03:12,285
♪ Are you out of control ♪
1481
01:03:12,285 --> 01:03:14,245
♪ I feel safe on the ground ♪
1482
01:03:14,245 --> 01:03:18,662
♪ I go building up walls
yet I wish to be found ♪
1483
01:03:18,662 --> 01:03:23,662
♪ A true contradiction
to which I am bound ♪
1484
01:03:24,616 --> 01:03:28,536
♪ As I keep on spinning
around and around ♪
1485
01:03:28,536 --> 01:03:32,675
♪ And I look at the people
who've worked it all out ♪
1486
01:03:32,675 --> 01:03:36,584
♪ And I wonder why I'm
still a bundle of doubt ♪
1487
01:03:36,584 --> 01:03:40,763
♪ And sometimes I wanna
just stand up and shout ♪
1488
01:03:40,763 --> 01:03:43,936
♪ Just commit and deal with it ♪
1489
01:03:43,936 --> 01:03:47,944
♪ Before your life flies by ♪
1490
01:03:47,944 --> 01:03:51,694
♪ Don't let your life fly by ♪
1491
01:04:00,035 --> 01:04:05,035
♪ But is it safer ♪
1492
01:04:06,696 --> 01:04:11,696
♪ Maybe it's safer ♪
1493
01:04:14,064 --> 01:04:16,814
♪ If I don't try ♪
1494
01:04:31,965 --> 01:04:34,275
(shoes tapping)
1495
01:04:34,275 --> 01:04:35,108
Hey, you're back?
1496
01:04:35,108 --> 01:04:35,941
- Yeah, I'm.
1497
01:04:35,941 --> 01:04:37,035
But you know what?
1498
01:04:37,035 --> 01:04:38,864
Not for long, I'm gonna head out.
1499
01:04:38,864 --> 01:04:40,984
- Dinner hasn't come yet.
1500
01:04:40,984 --> 01:04:42,336
- Yeah, I know friend,
1501
01:04:42,336 --> 01:04:45,125
but no, it's getting kinda late friend.
1502
01:04:45,125 --> 01:04:47,696
So I'm just gonna skedaddle out of here.
1503
01:04:47,696 --> 01:04:48,529
- Okay, I get it.
1504
01:04:48,529 --> 01:04:49,485
You're a little mad at me right now.
1505
01:04:49,485 --> 01:04:51,016
- No, no, no, no, I'm not mad at you
1506
01:04:51,016 --> 01:04:54,843
because friends don't get
mad at friends, friend.
1507
01:04:54,843 --> 01:04:57,536
So I'm just trying to process
1508
01:04:57,536 --> 01:05:01,405
and adjust to this new form of friendship.
1509
01:05:01,405 --> 01:05:04,444
So I just feel like I
need to do that by myself.
1510
01:05:04,444 --> 01:05:06,035
That's all Friend-o.
1511
01:05:06,035 --> 01:05:10,045
- Yeah, fine, great, let's get the bill.
1512
01:05:10,045 --> 01:05:14,216
- Finally, something we
can agree on, Mazel Tov.
1513
01:05:14,216 --> 01:05:16,667
All right, if only we could
find that frickin' waiter.
1514
01:05:16,667 --> 01:05:18,008
'Cause he's always here,
1515
01:05:18,008 --> 01:05:21,008
apart from when we need him, friend.
1516
01:05:23,557 --> 01:05:26,368
- Thank you (indistinct)
1517
01:05:26,368 --> 01:05:29,779
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
1518
01:05:29,779 --> 01:05:33,008
please sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
1519
01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:34,258
Sit, thank you.
1520
01:05:36,496 --> 01:05:39,696
Now as some of the
regulars here already know
1521
01:05:39,696 --> 01:05:44,517
I do a little writing and
performing on the side.
1522
01:05:44,517 --> 01:05:46,265
Very little.
1523
01:05:46,265 --> 01:05:47,976
That's why I've been
stuck in this rat hole
1524
01:05:47,976 --> 01:05:50,507
for way too long (laughs).
1525
01:05:50,507 --> 01:05:52,126
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
1526
01:05:52,126 --> 01:05:54,187
There are no rats.
1527
01:05:54,187 --> 01:05:57,757
We use them all in the bolognese, (laughs)
1528
01:05:57,757 --> 01:05:59,257
I'm still kidding.
1529
01:06:01,678 --> 01:06:05,597
Still, if you'd indulge me
for the next few minutes
1530
01:06:05,597 --> 01:06:10,597
I'd like to share with you my
latest musical extravaganza.
1531
01:06:11,096 --> 01:06:12,929
Hit the lights, Jorge.
1532
01:06:15,568 --> 01:06:20,485
This goes out to all the lover
and future lovers out there.
1533
01:06:20,485 --> 01:06:22,664
I'm looking at you table four.
1534
01:06:22,664 --> 01:06:23,664
- Oh my God.
1535
01:06:25,595 --> 01:06:26,696
- Sweet Jesus.
1536
01:06:26,696 --> 01:06:29,584
- That was my Nathan lane.
1537
01:06:29,584 --> 01:06:32,584
Okay (fables lips).
1538
01:06:33,797 --> 01:06:35,421
(flute whistles)
1539
01:06:35,421 --> 01:06:38,004
(vocal drills)
1540
01:06:39,501 --> 01:06:42,418
(soft piano music)
1541
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:51,000
♪ I made my career as a waiter ♪
1542
01:06:51,789 --> 01:06:56,229
♪ And my job well it never gets old ♪
1543
01:06:56,229 --> 01:07:01,229
♪ I've seen romances bloom
wild affairs meet their doom ♪
1544
01:07:01,501 --> 01:07:06,171
♪ Every night some new sight to behold ♪
1545
01:07:06,171 --> 01:07:11,171
♪ Yet I find as I wait on my tables ♪
1546
01:07:13,589 --> 01:07:18,221
♪ And serve them their baskets of bread ♪
1547
01:07:18,221 --> 01:07:20,700
♪ I can't help but think ♪
1548
01:07:20,700 --> 01:07:25,700
♪ As they pick out a drink of
what I would order instead ♪
1549
01:07:37,931 --> 01:07:42,931
♪ I'd order love delicious
well-seasoned and rare ♪
1550
01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:50,229
♪ I'd order love a big
enough portion to share ♪
1551
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:53,901
♪ Bring me all of the heartache ♪
1552
01:07:53,901 --> 01:07:55,589
♪ A small side of woe ♪
1553
01:07:55,589 --> 01:07:58,960
♪ That flavor of longing
that I long to know ♪
1554
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:00,669
♪ I don't need a menu ♪
1555
01:08:00,669 --> 01:08:05,469
♪ Just someone to care for my heart ♪
1556
01:08:05,469 --> 01:08:10,469
♪ Yes I'd order love there's
no better dish to start ♪
1557
01:08:12,780 --> 01:08:17,780
♪ I'd order love that's
spicy and steaming and hot ♪
1558
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,949
♪ Oh I'd order love so juicy
it just hits the spot ♪
1559
01:08:22,949 --> 01:08:25,290
♪ Bada bada pa pa pa ♪
1560
01:08:25,290 --> 01:08:29,221
♪ I crave nights full of
passion all drizzled with lust ♪
1561
01:08:29,221 --> 01:08:32,411
♪ Breakfast in bed is an absolute must ♪
1562
01:08:32,411 --> 01:08:34,141
♪ Then bring on the marriage ♪
1563
01:08:34,141 --> 01:08:38,891
♪ But don't top it off with divorce ♪
1564
01:08:38,891 --> 01:08:40,771
♪ Yes I'd order love ♪
1565
01:08:40,771 --> 01:08:45,771
♪ It's the very best second course ♪
1566
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:49,341
♪ I'm tired of always observing ♪
1567
01:08:49,341 --> 01:08:53,080
♪ Loving couples all dreamy and sweet ♪
1568
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:56,229
♪ For years I've been patiently waiting ♪
1569
01:08:56,229 --> 01:09:00,038
♪ When's it gonna be my time to eat ♪
1570
01:09:00,038 --> 01:09:05,038
♪ This lack of attention's unnerving ♪
1571
01:09:05,290 --> 01:09:10,290
♪ I fear that I'm losing my grip ♪
1572
01:09:10,349 --> 01:09:11,678
♪ If cupid keeps up ♪
1573
01:09:11,678 --> 01:09:16,678
♪ This substandard service I'm
screwing him out of his tip ♪
1574
01:09:17,027 --> 01:09:22,027
♪ He don't get no tip ♪
1575
01:09:22,141 --> 01:09:25,371
♪ Big finish ♪
1576
01:09:25,371 --> 01:09:30,371
♪ I'd order love appetizer
main course and dessert ♪
1577
01:09:30,771 --> 01:09:33,460
♪ More lights Jorge ♪
1578
01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:37,240
♪ Yeah I'd order love
even if it was peppered ♪
1579
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:40,491
♪ With hurt ♪
1580
01:09:40,491 --> 01:09:42,581
♪ 'Cause at least I could savor ♪
1581
01:09:42,581 --> 01:09:45,829
♪ The way that it feels to not eat alone ♪
1582
01:09:45,829 --> 01:09:47,541
♪ For each one of my meals ♪
1583
01:09:47,541 --> 01:09:49,411
♪ There's a lot on the menu ♪
1584
01:09:49,411 --> 01:09:54,181
♪ I'd have something else if I could ♪
1585
01:09:54,181 --> 01:09:57,811
♪ But I'd order love 'cause
there's nothing else ♪
1586
01:09:57,811 --> 01:10:02,811
♪ On earth that tastes so good ♪
1587
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:09,091
♪ Oh it tastes so good ♪
1588
01:10:09,091 --> 01:10:12,381
♪ Oh so very good ♪
1589
01:10:12,381 --> 01:10:15,214
♪ So good so good ♪
1590
01:10:20,901 --> 01:10:23,763
- Well, that wasn't too awkward.
1591
01:10:23,763 --> 01:10:25,669
Kinda like when my dad
chaperoned the sock Hop
1592
01:10:25,669 --> 01:10:29,760
in Junior High and forced
me to slow-dance with him.
1593
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:31,776
(Casey laughs)
1594
01:10:31,776 --> 01:10:32,987
Oh, you think that's funny.
1595
01:10:32,987 --> 01:10:36,296
Oh yeah, great, I'm glad I amuse you.
1596
01:10:36,296 --> 01:10:39,713
- Here we go, one chop salad for the lady
1597
01:10:41,544 --> 01:10:44,333
and one manly burger for the gentleman.
1598
01:10:44,333 --> 01:10:45,672
- Yeah, thank you, but
actually, you know what?
1599
01:10:45,672 --> 01:10:46,571
I don't think we're good.
1600
01:10:46,571 --> 01:10:48,863
- Okay, I think you're being
a little over-dramatic.
1601
01:10:48,863 --> 01:10:52,030
The food's here, I think we
can enjoy one meal together.
1602
01:10:52,030 --> 01:10:55,453
(Waiter chuckles)
1603
01:10:55,453 --> 01:10:58,286
- Fine, fine, one very quick meal.
1604
01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:01,423
- Bon appetite.
1605
01:11:07,341 --> 01:11:10,971
- So BDS, what are we
supposed to talk about now?
1606
01:11:10,971 --> 01:11:12,542
- What do you mean?
1607
01:11:12,542 --> 01:11:15,312
- I just mean, usually on
your other blind dates,
1608
01:11:15,312 --> 01:11:16,632
once you've destroyed guy's spirit
1609
01:11:16,632 --> 01:11:19,464
and then question your
overall attraction to the man
1610
01:11:19,464 --> 01:11:21,083
and then let them know
in no uncertain terms
1611
01:11:21,083 --> 01:11:22,413
that they do not have a snowball's chance
1612
01:11:22,413 --> 01:11:23,904
in hell of hooking up with you.
1613
01:11:23,904 --> 01:11:24,744
What do you talk about next?
1614
01:11:24,744 --> 01:11:26,272
- All right.
- The weather?
1615
01:11:26,272 --> 01:11:29,471
- All right, the way I see
it is you have two options.
1616
01:11:29,471 --> 01:11:31,643
You can sit here and be angry guy
1617
01:11:31,643 --> 01:11:33,483
for the rest of the meal
1618
01:11:33,483 --> 01:11:36,213
or you can turn that frown upside down
1619
01:11:36,213 --> 01:11:38,213
and take advantage of
this golden opportunity.
1620
01:11:38,213 --> 01:11:40,163
- Oh, this golden, what golden opportunity
1621
01:11:40,163 --> 01:11:41,624
are you talking about exactly, uh?
1622
01:11:41,624 --> 01:11:44,304
- I apologize if my obvious lack of tact
1623
01:11:44,304 --> 01:11:46,422
and blunt, honesty offended you.
1624
01:11:46,422 --> 01:11:50,772
But, I happen to know
lots of single eligible,
1625
01:11:50,772 --> 01:11:52,551
attractive women.
1626
01:11:52,551 --> 01:11:53,803
And if you play your cards right,
1627
01:11:53,803 --> 01:11:56,563
I could be the one who sets
you up for your soulmate.
1628
01:11:56,563 --> 01:11:59,146
- She has lots of single women.
1629
01:12:01,449 --> 01:12:02,569
- You know lots of single women?
1630
01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:06,931
- Tons of 'em and they're
crawling all over the city.
1631
01:12:06,931 --> 01:12:08,531
- Okay, fine, yeah, really, I mean
1632
01:12:08,531 --> 01:12:12,112
maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way.
1633
01:12:12,112 --> 01:12:14,672
I see we go over this
like we just met, right?
1634
01:12:14,672 --> 01:12:16,563
There's no history here,
we got nothing, right?
1635
01:12:16,563 --> 01:12:20,646
So if it's not you or me,
then maybe it's me and-
1636
01:12:21,712 --> 01:12:23,295
- Countless others.
1637
01:12:27,542 --> 01:12:30,542
- Okay, okay, okay, I'm game, right?
1638
01:12:31,652 --> 01:12:33,681
Who do you got in mind?
1639
01:12:33,681 --> 01:12:34,751
- Well, it depends what's your type?
1640
01:12:34,751 --> 01:12:38,668
- I don't know, not too
specific, maybe just...
1641
01:12:42,081 --> 01:12:42,914
(smoke swooshes)
1642
01:12:42,914 --> 01:12:45,912
♪ Five foot six with a great complexion ♪
1643
01:12:45,912 --> 01:12:49,141
♪ Hazel eyes you get lost in for days ♪
1644
01:12:49,141 --> 01:12:52,501
♪ Chestnut hair halfway down the back ♪
1645
01:12:52,501 --> 01:12:56,093
♪ Slender figure with breasts that amaze ♪
1646
01:12:56,093 --> 01:12:59,600
♪ Just the slightest hint of a dimple ♪
1647
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:02,871
♪ Pouty lips with a lily white smile ♪
1648
01:13:02,871 --> 01:13:07,871
♪ Tiny birthmark below
the right shoulder ♪
1649
01:13:08,672 --> 01:13:10,952
♪ And a manic-depressive demanding ♪
1650
01:13:10,952 --> 01:13:15,752
♪ Emasculating ball-busting
beast from hell ♪
1651
01:13:15,752 --> 01:13:18,323
- [Gable] Didn't I tell you
to leave Allison out of this?
1652
01:13:18,323 --> 01:13:21,061
- Okay, right, yes, you're right, sorry.
1653
01:13:21,061 --> 01:13:25,501
Moment of weakness, won't
happen again (chuckles).
1654
01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:27,800
You know what, I'm not picky, you decide.
1655
01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:30,472
- Okay, so do you want a good girl
1656
01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,072
who you can take home to mom and dad
1657
01:13:32,072 --> 01:13:35,272
or do you want a more
adventurous rebellious girl
1658
01:13:35,272 --> 01:13:37,483
who's definitely way more fun in the sack.
1659
01:13:37,483 --> 01:13:39,592
- Oh, wow, you know what?
1660
01:13:39,592 --> 01:13:41,821
I think Dad would be thrilled
with either at this point.
1661
01:13:41,821 --> 01:13:44,141
- But what about mom?
1662
01:13:44,141 --> 01:13:45,213
- That's hard to say.
1663
01:13:45,213 --> 01:13:46,101
(Casey gasps)
1664
01:13:46,101 --> 01:13:49,293
- Oh, why, will you always
be her adorable widdle boy
1665
01:13:49,293 --> 01:13:51,613
and no girl will ever
be good enough for you?
1666
01:13:51,613 --> 01:13:52,933
- Nope, it's not that-
1667
01:13:52,933 --> 01:13:54,101
- Could you not let you go?
1668
01:13:54,101 --> 01:13:56,693
Is she one of those overbearing
Jewish mothers who just-
1669
01:13:56,693 --> 01:13:59,232
- My mom is dead Casey.
1670
01:13:59,232 --> 01:14:02,741
She passed away when I was in 10th grade
1671
01:14:02,741 --> 01:14:05,272
before that she was so driven
1672
01:14:05,272 --> 01:14:09,471
and career obsessed that
I hardly ever saw her.
1673
01:14:09,471 --> 01:14:12,192
- Wow, I feel like a total jerk.
1674
01:14:12,192 --> 01:14:14,392
- Oh no, no, no, it's fine.
1675
01:14:14,392 --> 01:14:16,704
- I guess I just assumed that-
1676
01:14:16,704 --> 01:14:19,053
- What, that I came from
some perfect drama-free home?
1677
01:14:19,053 --> 01:14:22,731
Yeah, I've been picking up on that.
1678
01:14:22,731 --> 01:14:23,871
- So how did...
1679
01:14:23,871 --> 01:14:26,632
Sorry, do you mind
talking about this stuff?
1680
01:14:26,632 --> 01:14:29,093
- Oh, it's not really first date material,
1681
01:14:29,093 --> 01:14:29,932
is it now, Casey?
1682
01:14:29,932 --> 01:14:32,600
But hey, since we're no
longer on first date,
1683
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,011
it's ripe for discussion.
1684
01:14:35,011 --> 01:14:36,344
- What happened?
1685
01:14:41,013 --> 01:14:43,846
- Well, she was born with a defect
1686
01:14:45,191 --> 01:14:47,752
in one of the valves in her heart
1687
01:14:47,752 --> 01:14:49,533
which most people can live
with their entire lives
1688
01:14:49,533 --> 01:14:53,339
but she had a pretty
stressful demanding job
1689
01:14:53,339 --> 01:14:54,741
with a law firm,
1690
01:14:54,741 --> 01:14:58,701
which probably definitely made it worse.
1691
01:14:58,701 --> 01:15:00,722
And then by the time that
she started showing symptoms
1692
01:15:00,722 --> 01:15:02,621
it was pretty severe.
1693
01:15:02,621 --> 01:15:05,581
So they rushed her for emergency surgery
1694
01:15:05,581 --> 01:15:09,664
and I guess there were a
few complications and...
1695
01:15:14,911 --> 01:15:16,232
And why am I telling you this?
1696
01:15:16,232 --> 01:15:17,693
- Because I'm a good listener.
1697
01:15:17,693 --> 01:15:19,300
And if I haven't shown it tonight,
1698
01:15:19,300 --> 01:15:20,361
the dark secret about me
1699
01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:23,361
is that I'm actually very sensitive.
1700
01:15:25,232 --> 01:15:26,912
Did you get to say goodbye?
1701
01:15:26,912 --> 01:15:28,245
- Yeah, briefly.
1702
01:15:29,601 --> 01:15:31,493
But it was at the hospital.
1703
01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:36,493
So it was rushed and we didn't
know what was gonna happen.
1704
01:15:36,972 --> 01:15:37,952
You know what the crazy part?
1705
01:15:37,952 --> 01:15:39,771
Is that a couple of days later
1706
01:15:39,771 --> 01:15:42,703
I was going through my sock drawer looking
1707
01:15:42,703 --> 01:15:45,474
for a matching pair socks
to wear to the funeral
1708
01:15:45,474 --> 01:15:49,224
and I found a letter
that she had written me,
1709
01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:53,474
right before she left for the hospital.
1710
01:15:53,474 --> 01:15:55,584
She must have thought
that there's a chance
1711
01:15:55,584 --> 01:15:59,033
that she wasn't coming back, so-
1712
01:15:59,033 --> 01:16:00,261
- What did the letter say?
1713
01:16:00,261 --> 01:16:03,178
(soft piano music)
1714
01:16:15,962 --> 01:16:20,962
♪ It isn't easy to express
what I feel inside ♪
1715
01:16:24,801 --> 01:16:29,801
♪ But that shouldn't come
as a surprise to you ♪
1716
01:16:32,592 --> 01:16:37,053
♪ Haven't been the perfect mom ♪
1717
01:16:37,053 --> 01:16:41,032
♪ But please know that I tried ♪
1718
01:16:41,032 --> 01:16:44,541
♪ I did the best I could ♪
1719
01:16:44,541 --> 01:16:49,541
♪ And that's the best that I could do ♪
1720
01:16:50,093 --> 01:16:55,093
♪ Now facing a future that's uncertain ♪
1721
01:16:58,421 --> 01:17:03,421
♪ I cannot say what lies ahead ♪
1722
01:17:05,351 --> 01:17:09,253
♪ But I won't give up I'll face my fears ♪
1723
01:17:09,253 --> 01:17:13,002
♪ And fight back years of uncried tears ♪
1724
01:17:13,002 --> 01:17:17,919
♪ And tell you all the
things I never said ♪
1725
01:17:26,503 --> 01:17:31,503
♪ All of the hours spent at
work consumed by my career ♪
1726
01:17:34,413 --> 01:17:39,413
♪ I wouldn't blame you if
you thought I didn't care ♪
1727
01:17:42,304 --> 01:17:47,304
♪ Graduations that I missed
all the games I didn't cheer ♪
1728
01:17:50,030 --> 01:17:53,362
♪ I never told you then ♪
1729
01:17:53,362 --> 01:17:58,362
♪ But how I wanted to be there ♪
1730
01:17:58,701 --> 01:18:03,701
♪ As thoughts of the past
run through my memory ♪
1731
01:18:06,421 --> 01:18:11,421
♪ The choices I've made
the life I've led ♪
1732
01:18:13,259 --> 01:18:17,187
♪ An office on the highest floor ♪
1733
01:18:17,187 --> 01:18:20,797
♪ It meant so much but you mean more ♪
1734
01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:25,797
♪ That's one of many things ♪
1735
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:34,960
♪ So much in my life I took for granted ♪
1736
01:18:38,423 --> 01:18:43,423
♪ Like tucking my children into bed ♪
1737
01:18:45,490 --> 01:18:49,200
♪ My world was always spinning fast ♪
1738
01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:52,938
♪ Then in an instant years had passed ♪
1739
01:18:52,938 --> 01:18:57,938
♪ And here I sit with
so much left unsaid ♪
1740
01:19:01,949 --> 01:19:06,949
♪ I've always lived a world apart ♪
1741
01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:13,520
♪ But through it all you were my heart ♪
1742
01:19:15,498 --> 01:19:19,480
♪ That's one of many things ♪
1743
01:19:19,480 --> 01:19:22,730
♪ Of oh so many things ♪
1744
01:19:38,360 --> 01:19:40,130
♪ I never said ♪
1745
01:19:40,130 --> 01:19:43,047
(soft piano music)
1746
01:19:51,349 --> 01:19:56,178
- I don't wanna make the same
mistakes my mum did, Casey.
1747
01:19:56,178 --> 01:19:58,960
I won't make the same mistake she did.
1748
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,160
- What about this whole getup?
1749
01:20:00,160 --> 01:20:01,557
All the hard work,
1750
01:20:01,557 --> 01:20:03,360
it sounds like you're
doing the exact same thing.
1751
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:07,527
- Nope, nah, I don't care
about any of that stuff.
1752
01:20:08,618 --> 01:20:12,577
None of any of this, that's just my job.
1753
01:20:12,577 --> 01:20:13,827
That is not me.
1754
01:20:17,645 --> 01:20:20,138
I just wanna learn as
much money as I can now
1755
01:20:20,138 --> 01:20:22,147
so that I do not have to miss
out on anything like that.
1756
01:20:22,147 --> 01:20:24,814
(phone buzzing)
1757
01:20:26,335 --> 01:20:27,816
You're pretty popular tonight, uh?
1758
01:20:27,816 --> 01:20:28,684
Get it, please, I don't mind.
1759
01:20:28,684 --> 01:20:29,867
- No.
- No, go.
1760
01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:30,700
- Not at all.
1761
01:20:30,700 --> 01:20:33,367
(phone buzzing)
1762
01:20:34,587 --> 01:20:36,456
- [Voice over] Hey, it's Casey.
1763
01:20:36,456 --> 01:20:39,106
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1764
01:20:39,106 --> 01:20:41,997
♪ This is your bailout
sweetie your bailout ♪
1765
01:20:41,997 --> 01:20:44,296
♪ Honey I'm calling to bail you out ♪
1766
01:20:44,296 --> 01:20:46,484
♪ And you're still aren't
answering your phone ♪
1767
01:20:46,484 --> 01:20:49,256
♪ Now I'm pissed I mean really ♪
1768
01:20:49,256 --> 01:20:50,627
- Wait, hold on.
1769
01:20:50,627 --> 01:20:53,210
Stop the music, stop the music!
1770
01:20:54,526 --> 01:20:56,766
I don't wanna sing anymore.
1771
01:20:56,766 --> 01:20:57,787
Okay, shit.
1772
01:20:57,787 --> 01:20:58,686
Listen up bitch.
1773
01:20:58,686 --> 01:20:59,627
What's the deal?
1774
01:20:59,627 --> 01:21:02,686
'Cause this is like my third
unreturned phone call tonight
1775
01:21:02,686 --> 01:21:04,616
which is starting to
make me seem desperate.
1776
01:21:04,616 --> 01:21:07,078
And Reggie doesn't do desperates.
1777
01:21:07,078 --> 01:21:09,638
I mean, correct me if I'm
wrong, but did we not agree
1778
01:21:09,638 --> 01:21:12,936
when we met doing
karaoke and bonding over,
1779
01:21:12,936 --> 01:21:14,656
"Love is a battlefield"
1780
01:21:14,656 --> 01:21:17,568
that we would be best friends forever?
1781
01:21:17,568 --> 01:21:19,878
Well, I'm pretty sure
BFFs pick up the phone
1782
01:21:19,878 --> 01:21:22,467
when the other BFF calls, right?
1783
01:21:22,467 --> 01:21:23,867
I mean, What's going on?
1784
01:21:23,867 --> 01:21:26,536
One date and you're already
choosing him over me!
1785
01:21:26,536 --> 01:21:29,038
Could it really be going that well?
1786
01:21:29,038 --> 01:21:33,118
Or did he shove you into the
back of his creepy white van
1787
01:21:33,118 --> 01:21:34,506
and your phone's lying in a ditch
1788
01:21:34,506 --> 01:21:36,848
at the side of the road somewhere?
1789
01:21:36,848 --> 01:21:38,758
Oh my God, you're not dead, are you?
1790
01:21:38,758 --> 01:21:41,341
Oh my God, you're totally dead.
1791
01:21:42,358 --> 01:21:44,728
It seems to me, we have two options here,
1792
01:21:44,728 --> 01:21:47,288
either A you're having a wonderful time
1793
01:21:47,288 --> 01:21:50,774
and purposely choosing to ignore
the real love of your life,
1794
01:21:50,774 --> 01:21:53,008
or B you're totally dead
1795
01:21:53,008 --> 01:21:54,387
and he's making a dress out of your skin
1796
01:21:54,387 --> 01:21:56,696
at this very moment.
1797
01:21:56,696 --> 01:21:59,518
Either way, you've left
me with no other option
1798
01:21:59,518 --> 01:22:02,056
but to come to the restaurant.
1799
01:22:02,056 --> 01:22:05,747
So just to wrap up, I hope you're alive.
1800
01:22:05,747 --> 01:22:07,598
And I very much look forward to the scene
1801
01:22:07,598 --> 01:22:09,667
that I'm about to cause.
1802
01:22:09,667 --> 01:22:11,334
Oh, and later skank.
1803
01:22:13,786 --> 01:22:16,846
- All right, okay, you
can stop staring at me
1804
01:22:16,846 --> 01:22:18,736
with your mouth hung up
open like that, all right?
1805
01:22:18,736 --> 01:22:21,056
You're starting to make
me feel like a freak.
1806
01:22:21,056 --> 01:22:25,267
No, it's just, I'm rarely
surprised by somebody
1807
01:22:25,267 --> 01:22:28,336
and you just totally surprised me.
1808
01:22:28,336 --> 01:22:30,158
- Why, 'cause my mom died?
1809
01:22:30,158 --> 01:22:32,016
Let me tell you, that
is nothing, all right?
1810
01:22:32,016 --> 01:22:33,798
Wait until you hear about
my new just uncle Harry
1811
01:22:33,798 --> 01:22:34,696
and my kleptomania cousin, Carol,
1812
01:22:34,696 --> 01:22:36,616
because them, some stories.
1813
01:22:36,616 --> 01:22:37,486
(both laughs)
1814
01:22:37,486 --> 01:22:42,486
- No, I'm surprised by how
open and honest you just were.
1815
01:22:42,996 --> 01:22:46,886
Most people build up walls
and are not like that.
1816
01:22:46,886 --> 01:22:51,553
- Yeah, well, I told you I'm
an open book, wasn't lying.
1817
01:22:53,267 --> 01:22:54,358
How's the salad?
1818
01:22:54,358 --> 01:22:56,066
- Oh, good, yeah.
1819
01:22:56,066 --> 01:22:56,899
You want a bite?
1820
01:22:56,899 --> 01:22:59,568
- Yeah, sure, you want a bite of this?
1821
01:22:59,568 --> 01:23:00,401
- All right, yeah.
1822
01:23:00,401 --> 01:23:02,889
- All right, cool, get in there.
1823
01:23:02,889 --> 01:23:04,947
Take that, I'm gonna do this.
1824
01:23:04,947 --> 01:23:08,316
That's coming in here, a little coming.
1825
01:23:08,316 --> 01:23:10,399
Oh good, very, very good.
1826
01:23:11,768 --> 01:23:13,475
Wanna do a little swapsies?
1827
01:23:13,475 --> 01:23:15,744
- I'm game if you're.
1828
01:23:15,744 --> 01:23:18,787
- Game on, let's do it Put
this here, give me your fork.
1829
01:23:18,787 --> 01:23:21,974
And I'm gonna steal
this little pickle spear
1830
01:23:21,974 --> 01:23:24,307
and I'll show you what I do.
1831
01:23:25,782 --> 01:23:30,199
- Am I going crazy, or am
I starting to dig this guy?
1832
01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:34,384
And don't say it's because
he played the dead mom card
1833
01:23:34,384 --> 01:23:37,894
'cause I really don't think that's it.
1834
01:23:37,894 --> 01:23:41,078
Believe me I'm starting
to like puke in my mouth
1835
01:23:41,078 --> 01:23:44,016
as I say this but I actually think
1836
01:23:44,016 --> 01:23:46,136
he's got a really good heart.
1837
01:23:46,136 --> 01:23:50,136
And despite his obvious
lack of bad boy standing
1838
01:23:51,158 --> 01:23:53,158
there's a definite charm
1839
01:23:54,606 --> 01:23:57,939
and strangely attractive quality to him.
1840
01:24:00,526 --> 01:24:02,526
Could it be that I am...
1841
01:24:03,878 --> 01:24:07,461
Maybe sort of in a
roundabout way into him?
1842
01:24:09,536 --> 01:24:11,907
- Oh, I love pickles.
1843
01:24:11,907 --> 01:24:14,935
(both laughs)
1844
01:24:14,935 --> 01:24:17,496
All right, so come on,
1845
01:24:17,496 --> 01:24:19,215
I'm waiting, anybody springing to mind?
1846
01:24:19,215 --> 01:24:20,048
- For what?
1847
01:24:20,048 --> 01:24:22,406
- To set me up with.
1848
01:24:22,406 --> 01:24:24,576
- Oh, yeah that.
- Yeah, right?
1849
01:24:24,576 --> 01:24:25,409
- Right...
1850
01:24:28,956 --> 01:24:31,789
Okay, well there's my friend Nina.
1851
01:24:33,709 --> 01:24:36,816
- Nina, Nina, Nina, what's she like?
1852
01:24:36,816 --> 01:24:39,296
- Actress, a little cray-cray,
1853
01:24:39,296 --> 01:24:42,213
touch of the bipolar, but so sweet.
1854
01:24:43,206 --> 01:24:45,044
- Right, well, with a
recommendation like that,
1855
01:24:45,044 --> 01:24:46,461
who else you got?
1856
01:24:47,695 --> 01:24:51,566
- There's Trish, super-cute, super-clingy.
1857
01:24:51,566 --> 01:24:55,096
Girl meets a guy and just
clings on for dear life,
1858
01:24:55,096 --> 01:24:56,435
like a perky little barnacle
1859
01:24:56,435 --> 01:24:58,275
if you're into that kind of thing.
1860
01:24:58,275 --> 01:24:59,858
- You know what?
1861
01:24:59,858 --> 01:25:03,235
I do prefer my barnacles a
little less clingy, you know?
1862
01:25:03,235 --> 01:25:07,154
- Okay, well I have this
new friend called Allison.
1863
01:25:07,154 --> 01:25:08,206
That could actually be quite good.
1864
01:25:08,206 --> 01:25:09,686
- Sorry, did you say Allison?
1865
01:25:09,686 --> 01:25:11,856
- Yes, she just got
out have a relationship
1866
01:25:11,856 --> 01:25:15,141
but she's ready to start dating again.
1867
01:25:15,141 --> 01:25:17,776
- What's her last name?
1868
01:25:17,776 --> 01:25:19,566
- What is her last name?
1869
01:25:19,566 --> 01:25:20,399
Allison...
1870
01:25:22,615 --> 01:25:23,448
Allison...
1871
01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:27,291
Weaver, Allison Weaver.
1872
01:25:27,291 --> 01:25:28,749
- Wow, thank God.
1873
01:25:28,749 --> 01:25:31,254
- Why do you know her?
1874
01:25:31,254 --> 01:25:35,230
- No, I just thought you're
gonna say someone else.
1875
01:25:35,230 --> 01:25:36,063
- Who?
1876
01:25:37,563 --> 01:25:38,396
- Allison-
1877
01:25:38,396 --> 01:25:40,043
- Aaron, I want you to
think very carefully,
1878
01:25:40,043 --> 01:25:41,062
before you do this.
1879
01:25:41,062 --> 01:25:43,551
- Zuckerman, Allison Zuckerman, yeah.
1880
01:25:43,551 --> 01:25:44,734
- Who's Allison Zuckerman?
1881
01:25:44,734 --> 01:25:47,483
- Yeah, Aaron who is Allison Zuckerman?
1882
01:25:47,483 --> 01:25:52,483
- She's just a girl that used
to be my (fork dings) fiancee.
1883
01:25:57,392 --> 01:25:59,203
Allison Zuckerman used
to be my fiancee, yes.
1884
01:25:59,203 --> 01:26:00,899
- What's the point in imagining me
1885
01:26:00,899 --> 01:26:03,182
if you're not gonna listen
to a freakin' word I say!
1886
01:26:03,182 --> 01:26:04,952
- Oh, I didn't know you were engaged.
1887
01:26:04,952 --> 01:26:06,854
Wait, was she the girl who was mute?
1888
01:26:06,854 --> 01:26:10,751
- No, that would be
wishful thinking (laughs).
1889
01:26:10,751 --> 01:26:14,751
- Wow, so how close were
you to getting married?
1890
01:26:15,952 --> 01:26:17,403
- Pretty close I'd say.
1891
01:26:17,403 --> 01:26:19,592
- Had you sent out the invitations?
1892
01:26:19,592 --> 01:26:22,832
- Yeah, yeah gifts had been
bought, band been booked.
1893
01:26:22,832 --> 01:26:27,165
and people were taking their
seats if memory serves.
1894
01:26:28,494 --> 01:26:31,352
- No, she left you on your wedding day?
1895
01:26:31,352 --> 01:26:33,152
- No, well, she left me standing there
1896
01:26:33,152 --> 01:26:35,701
all alone under the chuppah (laughs).
1897
01:26:35,701 --> 01:26:38,243
- Why would she do that?
1898
01:26:38,243 --> 01:26:39,272
- I don't know.
1899
01:26:39,272 --> 01:26:43,662
Although I found her sprinting
off in the parking lot
1900
01:26:43,662 --> 01:26:45,340
and she did say one thing to me.
1901
01:26:45,340 --> 01:26:46,872
- Which was?
1902
01:26:46,872 --> 01:26:50,323
- Sorry, Aaron, I just can't do this.
1903
01:26:50,323 --> 01:26:51,531
- I just can't do this?
1904
01:26:51,531 --> 01:26:53,470
- Yep.
- What is this girl's address?
1905
01:26:53,470 --> 01:26:55,362
'Cause I am in the mood to cut a bitch.
1906
01:26:55,362 --> 01:26:58,882
- No, no, come on, I'm
sure she had her reasons.
1907
01:26:58,882 --> 01:27:03,173
- Whatever reasons she had,
you don't do that to someone.
1908
01:27:03,173 --> 01:27:06,277
What was the last time you saw her?
1909
01:27:06,277 --> 01:27:09,642
- 14 months, two weeks and three days
1910
01:27:09,642 --> 01:27:14,001
or something like that (laughs).
1911
01:27:14,001 --> 01:27:14,834
- Wow.
1912
01:27:16,293 --> 01:27:21,293
- Yeah, no there was pressure
on the both of us, Okay?
1913
01:27:21,502 --> 01:27:22,585
So it's fine.
1914
01:27:23,533 --> 01:27:24,953
- Why are you defending her?
1915
01:27:24,953 --> 01:27:26,434
Are you still in love with her?
1916
01:27:26,434 --> 01:27:29,017
- No, not, God, no, all right?
1917
01:27:29,017 --> 01:27:29,850
I just...
1918
01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:34,205
I don't know, I never got any closure.
1919
01:27:34,205 --> 01:27:37,333
And maybe there was a
part of me that thought,
1920
01:27:37,333 --> 01:27:38,453
"Well, she would change her mind.
1921
01:27:38,453 --> 01:27:40,533
She'd come running back to me."
1922
01:27:40,533 --> 01:27:42,200
But I guess I get...
1923
01:27:43,413 --> 01:27:46,746
That's why I haven't really dated anyone
1924
01:27:47,943 --> 01:27:51,314
or even gotten close to
anybody since she left.
1925
01:27:51,314 --> 01:27:53,525
- Wait, are you trying to tell me
1926
01:27:53,525 --> 01:27:56,071
that you haven't kissed
anyone since Allison?
1927
01:27:56,071 --> 01:27:57,925
- Oh, well that's a very complicated story
1928
01:27:57,925 --> 01:27:59,645
but the short answer is no.
1929
01:27:59,645 --> 01:28:01,432
- A long answer?
- Also no.
1930
01:28:01,432 --> 01:28:04,515
- Okay, right, what I want you to do,
1931
01:28:08,419 --> 01:28:11,193
is imagine that she was
here, right here right now.
1932
01:28:11,193 --> 01:28:12,422
- What, no, why?
1933
01:28:12,422 --> 01:28:13,262
No (laughs).
1934
01:28:13,262 --> 01:28:15,191
- No, no because we have
to get you past this.
1935
01:28:15,191 --> 01:28:17,854
This is something I did
in therapy for years
1936
01:28:17,854 --> 01:28:19,825
and me and my dad have
had so many productive
1937
01:28:19,825 --> 01:28:20,963
conversations like this.
1938
01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:22,992
Okay, can you see her?
1939
01:28:22,992 --> 01:28:26,203
(indistinct)
1940
01:28:26,203 --> 01:28:27,254
- Not so much.
1941
01:28:27,254 --> 01:28:29,905
- Oh, come on Aaron, work with me here.
1942
01:28:29,905 --> 01:28:33,322
Imagine that she was dressed the same way
1943
01:28:34,534 --> 01:28:36,446
that you might've been
the last time you saw her.
1944
01:28:36,446 --> 01:28:37,279
Can you do that?
1945
01:28:37,279 --> 01:28:38,946
Can you see her now?
1946
01:28:40,625 --> 01:28:42,985
- Yeah, you could say that.
1947
01:28:42,985 --> 01:28:46,314
- Okay, now I want you to say everything
1948
01:28:46,314 --> 01:28:49,705
you've waited 14 months, two weeks
1949
01:28:49,705 --> 01:28:52,122
and three days to say to her.
1950
01:28:53,465 --> 01:28:54,798
Don't hold back.
1951
01:29:02,285 --> 01:29:03,646
- Hello, Allison.
1952
01:29:03,646 --> 01:29:05,006
- Hey, Aaron.
1953
01:29:05,006 --> 01:29:08,006
There's something you wanna say to me?
1954
01:29:08,006 --> 01:29:08,839
- No, I-
1955
01:29:08,839 --> 01:29:09,966
- [Casey] Come on you can do this.
1956
01:29:09,966 --> 01:29:12,014
- Yes, actually, I...
1957
01:29:12,014 --> 01:29:12,847
Yes I do.
1958
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:20,475
♪ I never knew what love was
like until I saw your face ♪
1959
01:29:22,955 --> 01:29:27,955
♪ And suddenly I felt a love
that time cannot erase ♪
1960
01:29:30,526 --> 01:29:34,305
♪ Your eyes so sweet and piercing ♪
1961
01:29:34,305 --> 01:29:39,305
♪ Your manner kind yet strong ♪
1962
01:29:40,185 --> 01:29:43,854
♪ The kind of girl I could love forever ♪
1963
01:29:43,854 --> 01:29:47,995
♪ We'd spend the rest
of our lives together ♪
1964
01:29:47,995 --> 01:29:52,995
♪ And in my life I don't think I've ever ♪
1965
01:29:54,105 --> 01:29:58,534
♪ Been so fucking wrong ♪
1966
01:29:58,534 --> 01:30:01,094
♪ You're a bitch with
no heart you're a liar ♪
1967
01:30:01,094 --> 01:30:05,272
♪ You're Satan and I hate
the way you snore at night ♪
1968
01:30:05,272 --> 01:30:06,883
♪ All your quirks piss me off ♪
1969
01:30:06,883 --> 01:30:08,544
♪ And I don't think I'm misstating ♪
1970
01:30:08,544 --> 01:30:12,454
♪ Your compulsive need
to always be right ♪
1971
01:30:12,454 --> 01:30:13,654
♪ You're bossy and judgmental ♪
1972
01:30:13,654 --> 01:30:15,532
♪ Kind of tactless boring too ♪
1973
01:30:15,532 --> 01:30:20,532
♪ And I really can't believe
I ever fell in love with you ♪
1974
01:30:23,703 --> 01:30:25,536
♪ Oh ♪
1975
01:30:29,842 --> 01:30:31,030
Is that too much?
1976
01:30:31,030 --> 01:30:32,312
- Not enough.
1977
01:30:32,312 --> 01:30:33,145
- Okay.
1978
01:30:34,752 --> 01:30:37,712
♪ I know that all seemed kind of harsh ♪
1979
01:30:37,712 --> 01:30:40,251
♪ And things weren't always bad ♪
1980
01:30:40,251 --> 01:30:41,643
(laughs)
1981
01:30:41,643 --> 01:30:44,822
♪ In fact, I think some times we shared ♪
1982
01:30:44,822 --> 01:30:48,552
♪ Were the best that I've ever had ♪
1983
01:30:48,552 --> 01:30:52,222
♪ Like our road trip that one summer ♪
1984
01:30:52,222 --> 01:30:57,222
♪ Or those steamy nights in Spain ♪
1985
01:30:58,062 --> 01:31:01,792
♪ You always melted when
I would praise you ♪
1986
01:31:01,792 --> 01:31:05,362
♪ And my stupid jokes they
would never phase you ♪
1987
01:31:05,362 --> 01:31:06,982
♪ But that don't mean shit ♪
1988
01:31:06,982 --> 01:31:11,982
♪ Next to all the ways
you drove me so insane ♪
1989
01:31:14,011 --> 01:31:15,982
♪ You're a cock-frickin'-tease girl ♪
1990
01:31:15,982 --> 01:31:17,512
♪ You never stop your talking ♪
1991
01:31:17,512 --> 01:31:20,752
♪ And at times you got a double chin ♪
1992
01:31:20,752 --> 01:31:22,421
♪ You may say it's good fun ♪
1993
01:31:22,421 --> 01:31:24,161
♪ But your racist rants are shocking ♪
1994
01:31:24,161 --> 01:31:27,492
♪ And your lips don't need more collagen ♪
1995
01:31:27,492 --> 01:31:29,944
♪ All you care about is
how much someone makes ♪
1996
01:31:29,944 --> 01:31:32,374
♪ And what they do not a
man in his right mind ♪
1997
01:31:32,374 --> 01:31:37,374
♪ Would ever fall in love with you ♪
1998
01:31:39,139 --> 01:31:42,452
♪ You always criticized the
clothes that I would wear ♪
1999
01:31:42,452 --> 01:31:44,123
♪ And found a way of pointing out ♪
2000
01:31:44,123 --> 01:31:45,893
♪ My thinning hair really ♪
2001
01:31:45,893 --> 01:31:48,723
♪ You turned me vegan
which I totally despise ♪
2002
01:31:48,723 --> 01:31:50,322
♪ And I'm pretty sure
you laughed that time ♪
2003
01:31:50,322 --> 01:31:53,723
♪ I said let's compromise ♪
2004
01:31:53,723 --> 01:31:57,352
♪ If you were shot or
beaten run over by a truck ♪
2005
01:31:57,352 --> 01:31:58,854
♪ I guess that I'd be sad ♪
2006
01:31:58,854 --> 01:32:03,854
♪ But then again ♪
2007
01:32:07,374 --> 01:32:11,443
♪ It wouldn't suck ♪
2008
01:32:11,443 --> 01:32:14,782
♪ It wouldn't suck oh ♪
2009
01:32:14,782 --> 01:32:16,620
♪ So goodbye hit the road ♪
2010
01:32:16,620 --> 01:32:18,232
♪ As a girlfriend you are fired ♪
2011
01:32:18,232 --> 01:32:21,462
♪ Find some other chump
that you can fleece ♪
2012
01:32:21,462 --> 01:32:23,293
♪ Years from now when you're old ♪
2013
01:32:23,293 --> 01:32:25,222
♪ And you've finally expired girl ♪
2014
01:32:25,222 --> 01:32:28,322
♪ I hope that you don't rest in peace ♪
2015
01:32:28,322 --> 01:32:29,912
♪ Never met someone so selfish ♪
2016
01:32:29,912 --> 01:32:31,820
♪ Half the time my balls were blue ♪
2017
01:32:31,820 --> 01:32:35,054
♪ After all that I've endured now ♪
2018
01:32:35,054 --> 01:32:38,414
♪ You can safely rest assured now ♪
2019
01:32:38,414 --> 01:32:40,203
♪ That your ex is up and cured now ♪
2020
01:32:40,203 --> 01:32:43,494
♪ Yeah I'm so done being in love ♪
2021
01:32:43,494 --> 01:32:46,923
♪ Oh ♪
2022
01:32:46,923 --> 01:32:50,523
♪ With you ♪
2023
01:32:50,523 --> 01:32:52,533
♪ We're through yeah yeah ♪
2024
01:32:52,533 --> 01:32:55,872
♪ Oh we're so done Allison Honeybun ♪
2025
01:32:55,872 --> 01:32:57,723
♪ It's like over ♪
2026
01:32:57,723 --> 01:32:58,556
♪ It was on now it's gone ♪
2027
01:32:58,556 --> 01:33:00,099
♪ And I've regained my composure ♪
2028
01:33:00,099 --> 01:33:01,931
♪ You're a mess so God bless ♪
2029
01:33:01,931 --> 01:33:03,990
♪ And that's what you call closure ♪
2030
01:33:03,990 --> 01:33:08,157
♪ So done being in love with you ♪
2031
01:33:15,470 --> 01:33:17,053
You're doing great.
2032
01:33:23,011 --> 01:33:24,627
- How did that feel?
2033
01:33:24,627 --> 01:33:28,371
- So good, great like I feel alive again,
2034
01:33:28,371 --> 01:33:30,870
like rejuvenated and energized,
2035
01:33:30,870 --> 01:33:34,000
like a giant soul sucking bitch weight
2036
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:35,680
has been lifted off my chest, you know?
2037
01:33:35,680 --> 01:33:36,870
(fables lips)
2038
01:33:36,870 --> 01:33:38,200
(both laughs)
2039
01:33:38,200 --> 01:33:39,680
Whoa!
- See, I told you so.
2040
01:33:39,680 --> 01:33:44,680
- I've never been so proud of
you in my whole entire life.
2041
01:33:44,759 --> 01:33:47,910
It's like the pupil
has become the teacher.
2042
01:33:47,910 --> 01:33:50,491
- Hi.
- How are we doing over here?
2043
01:33:50,491 --> 01:33:53,590
- Oh, we're good, thank you.
2044
01:33:53,590 --> 01:33:56,371
- Are you guys finished?
2045
01:33:56,371 --> 01:33:57,630
- Yeah, I think we're.
2046
01:33:57,630 --> 01:34:00,710
- Well, can I get you guys
anything else this evening?
2047
01:34:00,710 --> 01:34:05,377
Dessert, coffee, another
food-related production number?
2048
01:34:08,360 --> 01:34:09,790
- No, no.
- No, no.
2049
01:34:09,790 --> 01:34:11,328
- Thank you.
2050
01:34:11,328 --> 01:34:13,411
- Your loss, here you go.
2051
01:34:14,508 --> 01:34:17,379
(upbeat piano music)
2052
01:34:17,379 --> 01:34:18,880
♪ The check, the check ♪
2053
01:34:18,880 --> 01:34:20,350
♪ Who's going to pay the check ♪
2054
01:34:20,350 --> 01:34:23,619
♪ It's a mystery where
everything's at stake ♪
2055
01:34:23,619 --> 01:34:26,758
♪ A guy, a girl, a black
faux leather folder ♪
2056
01:34:26,758 --> 01:34:29,600
♪ A series of mistakes
that you could make ♪
2057
01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:31,399
♪ Should a woman leave and freshen up ♪
2058
01:34:31,399 --> 01:34:32,897
♪ While he whips out his credit card ♪
2059
01:34:32,897 --> 01:34:34,999
♪ Should they go dutch or
not so much lest egos ♪
2060
01:34:34,999 --> 01:34:36,800
♪ End up scraped and scarred ♪
2061
01:34:36,800 --> 01:34:38,360
♪ The rules are always changing ♪
2062
01:34:38,360 --> 01:34:40,379
♪ Why's it gotta be so friggin' hard ♪
2063
01:34:40,379 --> 01:34:41,377
♪ So hard ♪
2064
01:34:41,377 --> 01:34:43,120
♪ I'd rather someone wring my neck ♪
2065
01:34:43,120 --> 01:34:48,120
♪ Than wonder who the hell is
supposed to pay the check ♪
2066
01:34:51,069 --> 01:34:52,110
- Why don't I get this?
2067
01:34:52,110 --> 01:34:54,760
- No, no, please let me.
2068
01:34:54,760 --> 01:34:55,593
- Should we split it?
2069
01:34:55,593 --> 01:34:58,200
- No, because I think
this may be the one thing
2070
01:34:58,200 --> 01:34:59,958
that I have over all of your exes.
2071
01:34:59,958 --> 01:35:02,069
So please, please just let me have this.
2072
01:35:02,069 --> 01:35:03,686
- Thank you, Aaron.
2073
01:35:03,686 --> 01:35:05,103
- You're welcome.
2074
01:35:08,357 --> 01:35:09,315
You know what?
2075
01:35:09,315 --> 01:35:11,875
I may be setting myself up here
for some hardcore rejection
2076
01:35:11,875 --> 01:35:14,715
but I am feeling rather
empowered right now.
2077
01:35:14,715 --> 01:35:16,136
So (engulfs) fuck it.
2078
01:35:16,136 --> 01:35:18,719
(Casey laughs)
2079
01:35:21,107 --> 01:35:24,678
I don't wanna go out
with your friends, Casey.
2080
01:35:24,678 --> 01:35:27,366
I wanna go out with you.
2081
01:35:27,366 --> 01:35:29,867
Now listen, we have a great rapport.
2082
01:35:29,867 --> 01:35:32,219
I mean, we both love Quantum Leap, right?
2083
01:35:32,219 --> 01:35:34,638
And in a brief time, you've
helped me help with my ex drama.
2084
01:35:34,638 --> 01:35:36,848
Now I know this may sound crazy
2085
01:35:36,848 --> 01:35:40,387
but I actually think that
your particular brand of edgy
2086
01:35:40,387 --> 01:35:43,368
and a creative might
actually be good for me.
2087
01:35:43,368 --> 01:35:46,437
And I think that my
particular brand of structure
2088
01:35:46,437 --> 01:35:49,267
and stability might
actually be good for you.
2089
01:35:49,267 --> 01:35:52,648
And I know, oh wow, I know
that I am not usually the guy
2090
01:35:52,648 --> 01:35:54,099
that you would go out with
2091
01:35:54,099 --> 01:35:58,318
but you know that hasn't
worked out so much in the past.
2092
01:35:58,318 --> 01:36:02,151
So maybe it's time to
try something different.
2093
01:36:06,798 --> 01:36:09,048
So, Casey, what do you say?
2094
01:36:20,027 --> 01:36:21,996
- [Gabe] All right, buddy, good try.
2095
01:36:21,996 --> 01:36:24,784
But I think you got your answer.
2096
01:36:24,784 --> 01:36:26,867
Let's wrap this thing up.
2097
01:36:28,538 --> 01:36:30,371
- Okay, tell you what?
2098
01:36:40,940 --> 01:36:43,023
Here, you have my number.
2099
01:36:47,300 --> 01:36:50,899
If you wanna hang out
again, you let me know.
2100
01:36:50,899 --> 01:36:54,816
If not, thank you for a
very memorable evening.
2101
01:37:04,891 --> 01:37:07,609
- Did you just let him walk out of here?
2102
01:37:07,609 --> 01:37:10,580
Because I'm pretty sure you
just let him walk out of here.
2103
01:37:10,580 --> 01:37:14,010
Why did you let him walk out of here?
2104
01:37:14,010 --> 01:37:15,927
- Everything all right?
2105
01:37:17,846 --> 01:37:19,263
- No, not at all.
2106
01:37:25,075 --> 01:37:27,742
(shoes tapping)
2107
01:37:30,846 --> 01:37:33,679
(Waiter chuckles)
2108
01:37:42,540 --> 01:37:43,373
- Oh my God.
2109
01:37:43,373 --> 01:37:44,206
- Can I help you?
2110
01:37:44,206 --> 01:37:45,734
- Yeah, I'm looking for my friend.
2111
01:37:45,734 --> 01:37:49,794
Attractive dress, kind of
funky, wordly inconsiderate.
2112
01:37:49,794 --> 01:37:50,903
She told me she was meeting
2113
01:37:50,903 --> 01:37:52,640
some random guy here for a drink.
2114
01:37:52,640 --> 01:37:54,184
- Oh, but you just missed them.
2115
01:37:54,184 --> 01:37:55,802
- Okay, a quick question.
2116
01:37:55,802 --> 01:37:57,874
Did she look like she was
having the time of her life
2117
01:37:57,874 --> 01:37:59,722
or did she was fighting for her life
2118
01:37:59,722 --> 01:38:01,304
and just so you know if you're wrong,
2119
01:38:01,304 --> 01:38:03,133
her blood is on both of her hands!
2120
01:38:03,133 --> 01:38:07,365
- All right, look, I don't know
exactly what's going on here
2121
01:38:07,365 --> 01:38:10,216
but why don't you take a
seat and try to calm down?
2122
01:38:10,216 --> 01:38:12,045
- That's a good idea,
2123
01:38:12,045 --> 01:38:14,203
I guess I get a little
worked up sometimes.
2124
01:38:14,203 --> 01:38:15,784
People tell me I have a very vivid
2125
01:38:15,784 --> 01:38:17,714
and overactive imagination.
2126
01:38:17,714 --> 01:38:19,297
- Oh, don't we all?
2127
01:38:20,354 --> 01:38:21,437
- You do too?
2128
01:38:23,224 --> 01:38:24,057
- Who, me?
2129
01:38:25,455 --> 01:38:27,122
Oh, well, well sure.
2130
01:38:28,303 --> 01:38:31,346
I'm always dreaming something up.
2131
01:38:31,346 --> 01:38:35,375
Some new recipe or a useless invention.
2132
01:38:35,375 --> 01:38:37,384
I even write some songs
2133
01:38:37,384 --> 01:38:40,844
and a little love poetry on the side.
2134
01:38:40,844 --> 01:38:41,677
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
2135
01:38:41,677 --> 01:38:43,535
- Hey, can I hear some?
2136
01:38:43,535 --> 01:38:46,994
♪ He's a bit dramatic ♪
2137
01:38:46,994 --> 01:38:49,335
♪ He's way too sweet ♪
2138
01:38:49,335 --> 01:38:54,335
♪ Or maybe he's the one
who'd make my life complete ♪
2139
01:38:54,834 --> 01:38:55,895
I'm Reggie
2140
01:38:55,895 --> 01:38:56,834
- I'm available.
2141
01:38:56,834 --> 01:38:57,743
(both laughs)
2142
01:38:57,743 --> 01:39:00,326
(upbeat music)
2143
01:39:14,484 --> 01:39:15,984
- Hi, remember me?
2144
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:19,802
I'm the girl a few minutes ago
2145
01:39:19,802 --> 01:39:21,572
who just let you walk out the restaurant
2146
01:39:21,572 --> 01:39:22,772
without saying goodbye.
2147
01:39:22,772 --> 01:39:25,402
- Yeah, that sounds vaguely familiar.
2148
01:39:25,402 --> 01:39:27,531
- Oh, here I am.
2149
01:39:27,531 --> 01:39:30,434
- Here you're, you're lost?
2150
01:39:30,434 --> 01:39:32,023
Is that what this is of you?
2151
01:39:32,023 --> 01:39:33,652
Wait, did I leave
something in the restaurant
2152
01:39:33,652 --> 01:39:35,696
other than my dignity?
2153
01:39:35,696 --> 01:39:37,543
- I thought that you might walk me home
2154
01:39:37,543 --> 01:39:39,583
if you want, no pressure.
2155
01:39:39,583 --> 01:39:41,250
- Sure, I'd love to.
2156
01:39:47,074 --> 01:39:51,157
Just wait, I just got to
do a little limber here.
2157
01:39:53,554 --> 01:39:55,082
You can never be too safe,
2158
01:39:55,082 --> 01:39:57,143
you wanna get in on this?
2159
01:39:57,143 --> 01:39:57,976
- No, I'm good.
2160
01:39:57,976 --> 01:40:00,442
- You should do the hips as well, you did?
2161
01:40:00,442 --> 01:40:01,275
You're ready?
2162
01:40:01,275 --> 01:40:02,108
- No, no, yes.
2163
01:40:02,108 --> 01:40:02,943
- After you.
- All right.
2164
01:40:02,943 --> 01:40:04,122
- Wait, you don't live in Hoboken?
2165
01:40:04,122 --> 01:40:05,012
- No, just around the corner.
2166
01:40:05,012 --> 01:40:06,332
- Oh, well, that is great.
2167
01:40:06,332 --> 01:40:07,972
That is...
2168
01:40:07,972 --> 01:40:08,892
That is great.
2169
01:40:08,892 --> 01:40:11,809
(soft piano music)
2170
01:40:18,114 --> 01:40:20,697
(upbeat music)
2171
01:40:27,033 --> 01:40:32,033
♪ I am standing at the start
of something that is new ♪
2172
01:40:33,522 --> 01:40:38,522
♪ I can't keep building walls
despite what I've been through ♪
2173
01:40:39,674 --> 01:40:42,602
♪ If I may have found the someone ♪
2174
01:40:42,602 --> 01:40:45,673
♪ The one I should be looking for ♪
2175
01:40:45,673 --> 01:40:48,932
♪ I'd be a jerk to run away ♪
2176
01:40:48,932 --> 01:40:53,932
♪ So I'll hold my breath and stay ♪
2177
01:40:57,063 --> 01:41:00,401
♪ There's a person by my side ♪
2178
01:41:00,401 --> 01:41:03,312
♪ She's not who I had planned ♪
2179
01:41:03,312 --> 01:41:06,503
♪ Yet I feel the sudden urge ♪
2180
01:41:06,503 --> 01:41:09,612
♪ To reach out and take her hand ♪
2181
01:41:09,612 --> 01:41:14,612
♪ And I yearn for letting go
of all the baggage in my past ♪
2182
01:41:15,850 --> 01:41:19,012
♪ If i don't try I'll never know ♪
2183
01:41:19,012 --> 01:41:23,882
♪ Just how far this thing might go ♪
2184
01:41:23,882 --> 01:41:26,943
♪ We could make it to tomorrow ♪
2185
01:41:26,943 --> 01:41:30,183
♪ Or just end it all right here ♪
2186
01:41:30,183 --> 01:41:33,122
♪ We could fall flat on our faces ♪
2187
01:41:33,122 --> 01:41:36,402
♪ Or fall more in love each year ♪
2188
01:41:36,402 --> 01:41:39,663
♪ With so little to be sure of ♪
2189
01:41:39,663 --> 01:41:42,543
♪ Possibilities are vast ♪
2190
01:41:42,543 --> 01:41:46,914
♪ This may be one perfect moment ♪
2191
01:41:46,914 --> 01:41:51,914
♪ Or maybe this is
something that will last ♪
2192
01:41:52,322 --> 01:41:54,466
(bright music)
2193
01:41:54,466 --> 01:41:57,663
- [Lauren] Quit stalling
and tap that shit already.
2194
01:41:57,663 --> 01:42:00,244
Okay, you're gonna give him
one quick kiss on the cheek
2195
01:42:00,244 --> 01:42:03,392
but that's it, V-town is
close to the public tonight.
2196
01:42:03,392 --> 01:42:05,034
Got it?
2197
01:42:05,034 --> 01:42:06,954
(bright music)
2198
01:42:06,954 --> 01:42:08,292
- [Gabe] Do you who hates you?
2199
01:42:08,292 --> 01:42:10,292
The entire male species.
2200
01:42:13,983 --> 01:42:16,932
- [Lauren] It's a definite possibility.
2201
01:42:16,932 --> 01:42:19,523
Blah, blah, blah more therapy.
2202
01:42:19,523 --> 01:42:22,688
(bright upbeat music)
2203
01:42:22,688 --> 01:42:24,282
- Well, this is my place.
2204
01:42:24,282 --> 01:42:28,699
- Oh, big building, excellent
structural engineering,
2205
01:42:34,362 --> 01:42:36,911
bricks and the columns.
2206
01:42:36,911 --> 01:42:39,132
- Thank you, I designed it my self.
2207
01:42:39,132 --> 01:42:43,180
(bright upbeat music continues)
2208
01:42:43,180 --> 01:42:45,680
(both laughs)
2209
01:42:46,938 --> 01:42:48,105
- All right...
2210
01:42:55,466 --> 01:42:56,299
Goodnight.
2211
01:42:57,927 --> 01:42:58,760
- Goodnight Aaron.
2212
01:42:58,760 --> 01:43:03,347
♪ If we'd only take the chance ♪
2213
01:43:03,347 --> 01:43:06,417
♪ If I say goodbye forever ♪
2214
01:43:06,417 --> 01:43:11,285
♪ Would I miss some true romance ♪
2215
01:43:11,285 --> 01:43:14,357
♪ All the burdens that we carry ♪
2216
01:43:14,357 --> 01:43:17,197
♪ Need to let them go and fast ♪
2217
01:43:17,197 --> 01:43:21,618
♪ So there's not one perfect moment ♪
2218
01:43:21,618 --> 01:43:26,618
♪ But rather there's
something that will last ♪
2219
01:43:26,957 --> 01:43:30,087
♪ I am through with holding on ♪
2220
01:43:30,087 --> 01:43:35,087
♪ I won't let mistakes and
memories get the best of me ♪
2221
01:43:36,795 --> 01:43:39,589
♪ Oh ♪
2222
01:43:39,589 --> 01:43:42,738
♪ Though my doubts are far from gone ♪
2223
01:43:42,738 --> 01:43:47,738
♪ I will leap into the future
and just wait and see ♪
2224
01:43:50,818 --> 01:43:55,818
♪ If we make it to tomorrow
if we stand the test of time ♪
2225
01:43:56,898 --> 01:43:59,938
♪ Or the wind's too strong against us ♪
2226
01:43:59,938 --> 01:44:03,178
♪ And we can't quite make the climb ♪
2227
01:44:03,178 --> 01:44:06,637
♪ All I know is in this moment ♪
2228
01:44:06,637 --> 01:44:09,437
♪ My past is just my past ♪
2229
01:44:09,437 --> 01:44:13,789
♪ Right now I can't help but wonder ♪
2230
01:44:13,789 --> 01:44:18,709
♪ If this could be the
something that will last ♪
2231
01:44:18,709 --> 01:44:21,607
♪ Could this be the something ♪
2232
01:44:21,607 --> 01:44:26,607
♪ Could this be the
something that will last ♪
2233
01:44:35,069 --> 01:44:36,685
(phone buzzing)
2234
01:44:36,685 --> 01:44:39,268
(upbeat music)
156856
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