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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,500 Woman: MY NAME IS MARY ALICE YOUNG. 2 00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,100 WHEN YOU READ THIS MORNING'S PAPER, 3 00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,600 YOU MAY COME ACROSS AN ARTICLE 4 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,833 ABOUT THE UNUSUAL DAY I HAD LAST WEEK. 5 00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:39,267 NORMALLY, THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING NEWSWORTHY ABOUT MY LIFE, 6 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:42,433 BUT THAT ALL CHANGED LAST THURSDAY. 7 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:45,767 OF COURSE, EVERYTHING SEEMED QUITE NORMAL AT FIRST. 8 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,667 I MADE BREAKFAST FOR MY FAMILY. 9 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,267 I PERFORMED MY CHORES. 10 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,767 I COMPLETED MY PROJECTS. 11 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,400 I RAN MY ERRANDS. 12 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:03,367 IN TRUTH, I SPENT THE DAY AS I SPENT EVERY OTHER DAY -- 13 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,833 QUIETLY POLISHING THE ROUTINE OF MY LIFE 14 00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:11,100 UNTIL IT GLEAMED WITH PERFECTION. 15 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:14,200 THAT'S WHY IT WAS SO ASTONISHING 16 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,500 WHEN I DECIDED TO GO TO MY HALLWAY CLOSET 17 00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:22,067 AND RETRIEVE A REVOLVER THAT HAD NEVER BEEN USED. 18 00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:27,467 MY BODY WAS DISCOVERED BY MY NEIGHBOR 19 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,833 MRS. MARTHA HUBER, WHO HAD BEEN STARTLED 20 00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,067 BY A STRANGE POPPING SOUND. 21 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:36,200 HER CURIOSITY AROUSED, MRS. HUBER TRIED TO THINK 22 00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:41,133 OF A REASON FOR DROPPING IN ON ME UNANNOUNCED. 23 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,700 AFTER SOME INITIAL HESITATION, 24 00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:45,333 SHE DECIDED TO RETURN THE BLENDER 25 00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:47,700 SHE HAD BORROWED FROM ME SIX MONTHS BEFORE. 26 00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:50,600 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 27 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,500 [ RING ] 28 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,067 AAH! 29 00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:11,733 IT'S MY NEIGHBOR. I THINK SHE'S BEEN SHOT. 30 00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,400 THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE. 31 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,533 YES. 32 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,400 YOU'VE GOT TO SEND AN AMBULANCE. 33 00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:18,833 YOU'VE GOT TO SEND ONE RIGHT NOW. 34 00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,200 AND FOR A MOMENT, 35 00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:27,067 MRS. HUBER STOOD MOTIONLESS IN HER KITCHEN, 36 00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,700 GRIEF-STRICKEN BY THIS SENSELESS TRAGEDY... 37 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,300 BUT ONLY FOR A MOMENT. 38 00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:36,067 IF THERE WAS ONE THING MRS. HUBER WAS KNOWN FOR, 39 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:40,067 IT WAS HER ABILITY TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. 40 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:47,500 I WAS LAID TO REST ON A MONDAY. 41 00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,533 AFTER THE FUNERAL, 42 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,433 ALL THE RESIDENTS OF WISTERIA LANE 43 00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:53,333 CAME TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS. 44 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:56,400 AND, AS PEOPLE DO IN THESE SITUATIONS, 45 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:57,533 THEY BROUGHT FOOD. 46 00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:00,133 LYNETTE SCAVO BROUGHT FRIED CHICKEN. 47 00:03:00,167 --> 00:03:03,467 LYNETTE HAD A GREAT FAMILY RECIPE FOR FRIED CHICKEN. 48 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,800 OF COURSE, SHE DIDN'T COOK MUCH 49 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,733 WHILE SHE WAS MOVING UP THE CORPORATE LADDER. 50 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,533 SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME. 51 00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,500 BUT WHEN HER DOCTOR ANNOUNCED LYNETTE WAS PREGNANT, 52 00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:12,833 HER HUSBAND TOM HAD AN IDEA. 53 00:03:12,867 --> 00:03:14,667 "WHY NOT QUIT YOUR JOB? 54 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,433 "KIDS DO BETTER WITH STAY-AT-HOME MOMS. 55 00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:19,233 IT WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS STRESSFUL." 56 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,100 BUT THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. 57 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,833 IN FACT, LYNETTE'S LIFE HAD BECOME SO HECTIC, 58 00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:26,167 SHE WAS NOW FORCED TO GET HER FRIED CHICKEN 59 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,167 FROM A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT. 60 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,767 LYNETTE WOULD HAVE APPRECIATED THE IRONY 61 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,667 IF SHE STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT IT, 62 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,133 BUT SHE COULDN'T. SHE DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME. 63 00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:35,833 STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! 64 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,100 BUT, MOM! 65 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,600 NO, YOU ARE GOING TO BEHAVE TODAY. 66 00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:40,233 I AM NOT GOING TO BE HUMILIATED 67 00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:42,200 IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD. 68 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,600 AND JUST SO YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUS I AM... 69 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,467 WHAT'S THAT? 70 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,233 SANTA'S CELL PHONE NUMBER. 71 00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:49,733 HOW'D YOU GET THAT? 72 00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,133 I KNOW SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS AN ELF, 73 00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:53,600 AND IF ANY OF YOU ACTS UP, 74 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,500 SO HELP ME, I WILL CALL SANTA, 75 00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:58,167 AND I WILL TELL HIM YOU WANT SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS. 76 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,733 YOU WILLING TO RISK THAT? 77 00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:02,633 MNH-MNH. 78 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:05,267 OKAY. 79 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,733 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 80 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:11,567 GABRIELLE SOLIS, WHO LIVES DOWN THE BLOCK, 81 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,700 BROUGHT A SPICY PAELLA. 82 00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:17,067 SINCE HER MODELING DAYS IN NEW YORK, 83 00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:21,100 GABRIELLE HAD DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR RICH FOOD... 84 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,700 AND RICH MEN. 85 00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:26,300 CARLOS, WHO WORKED IN MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS, 86 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,300 PROPOSED ON THEIR THIRD DATE. 87 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:31,433 GABRIELLE WAS TOUCHED WHEN TEARS WELLED UP IN HIS EYES, 88 00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,067 BUT SHE SOON DISCOVERED 89 00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:36,433 THIS HAPPENED EVERY TIME CARLOS CLOSED THE BIG DEAL. 90 00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,833 GABRIELLE LIKED HER PAELLA PIPING HOT. 91 00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:40,833 HOWEVER, HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HUSBAND 92 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,533 WAS CONSIDERABLY COOLER. 93 00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,567 IF YOU TALK TO AL MASON AT THIS THING, 94 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,833 I WANT YOU TO CASUALLY MENTION 95 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,467 HOW MUCH I PAID FOR YOUR NECKLACE. 96 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,233 WHY DON'T I JUST PIN THE RECEIPT TO MY CHEST? 97 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:51,400 HE LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH HE PAID 98 00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:52,633 FOR HIS WIFE'S NEW CONVERTIBLE. 99 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,167 LOOK, JUST WORK IT INTO THE CONVERSATION. 100 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,833 THERE'S NO WAY I CAN JUST WORK THAT IN, CARLOS. 101 00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:57,333 WHY NOT? AT THE DONOGHUE PARTY, 102 00:04:57,367 --> 00:04:59,200 EVERYONE WAS TALKING MUTUAL FUNDS, 103 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,700 AND YOU FOUND A WAY TO MENTION 104 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,300 YOU SLEPT WITH HALF THE YANKEE OUTFIELD. 105 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,333 I'M TELLING YOU, IT CAME UP 106 00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:04,567 IN THE CONTEXT OF THE CONVERSATION. 107 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,100 HEY, PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO STARE. 108 00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,500 CAN YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, PLEASE? 109 00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:08,500 ABSOLUTELY. 110 00:05:08,533 --> 00:05:11,267 WE WOULDN'T WANT THEM TO THINK WE'RE NOT HAPPY. 111 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,233 BREE VAN DE KAMP, WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR, 112 00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:16,400 BROUGHT BASKETS OF MUFFINS SHE BAKED FROM SCRATCH. 113 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,367 BREE WAS KNOWN FOR HER COOKING, 114 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,167 AND FOR MAKING HER OWN CLOTHES, 115 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,067 AND FOR DOING HER OWN GARDENING, 116 00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:27,733 AND FOR REUPHOLSTERING HER OWN FURNITURE. 117 00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:29,567 YES, BREE'S MANY TALENTS 118 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,467 WERE KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD, 119 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,333 AND EVERYONE ON WISTERIA LANE THOUGHT OF BREE 120 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,667 AS THE PERFECT WIFE AND MOTHER. 121 00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:39,700 EVERYONE, THAT IS, EXCEPT HER OWN FAMILY. 122 00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:43,400 PAUL. 123 00:05:43,433 --> 00:05:44,767 ZACHARY. 124 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,200 HELLO, MRS. VAN DE KAMP. 125 00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,667 BREE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO ALL THIS TROUBLE. 126 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,100 IT WAS NO TROUBLE AT ALL. 127 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,300 NOW, THE BASKET WITH THE RED RIBBON 128 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,767 IS FILLED WITH DESSERTS FOR YOUR GUESTS, 129 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,500 BUT THE ONE WITH THE BLUE RIBBON 130 00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:54,733 IS JUST FOR YOU AND ZACHARY. 131 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,667 IT'S GOT ROLLS, MUFFINS, BREAKFAST-TYPE THINGS. 132 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,200 THANK YOU. 133 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,733 WELL, THE LEAST I COULD DO IS MAKE SURE YOU BOYS HAD 134 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:03,233 A DECENT MEAL TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE MORNING. 135 00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,300 I KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MINDS WITH GRIEF. 136 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,467 YES, WE ARE. 137 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,700 OF COURSE, 138 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:12,300 I WILL NEED THE BASKETS BACK ONCE YOU'RE DONE. 139 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,067 OF COURSE. 140 00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:20,533 SUSAN MAYER, WHO LIVES ACROSS THE STREET, 141 00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,733 BROUGHT MACARONI AND CHEESE. 142 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:25,533 HER HUSBAND CARL ALWAYS TEASED HER ABOUT HER MACARONI, 143 00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:27,800 SAYING IT WAS THE ONLY THING SHE KNEW HOW TO COOK, 144 00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,500 AND SHE RARELY MADE IT WELL. 145 00:06:30,533 --> 00:06:31,500 IT WAS TOO SALTY 146 00:06:31,533 --> 00:06:34,733 THE NIGHT SHE AND CARL MOVED INTO THEIR HOUSE. 147 00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:35,700 IT WAS TOO WATERY 148 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:38,800 THE NIGHT SHE FOUND LIPSTICK ON CARL'S SHIRT. 149 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,333 SHE BURNED IT THE NIGHT CARL TOLD HER 150 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,667 HE WAS LEAVING HER FOR HIS SECRETARY. 151 00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:53,733 A YEAR HAD PASSED SINCE THE DIVORCE. 152 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,700 SUSAN HAD STARTED TO THINK HOW NICE IT WOULD BE 153 00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:57,533 TO HAVE A MAN IN HER LIFE, 154 00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,467 EVEN ONE WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF HER COOKING. 155 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,500 MOM... 156 00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:03,567 WHY WOULD SOMEONE KILL THEMSELVES? 157 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,500 WELL... 158 00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:07,167 SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE SO UNHAPPY, 159 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,100 THEY THINK THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS. 160 00:07:10,133 --> 00:07:11,567 BUT MRS. YOUNG ALWAYS SEEMED HAPPY. 161 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,133 YEAH, SOMETIMES PEOPLE PRETEND TO BE ONE WAY 162 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,700 ON THE OUTSIDE WHEN THEY'RE TOTALLY DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE. 163 00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:18,300 OH, YOU MEAN LIKE HOW DAD'S GIRLFRIEND 164 00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:19,700 IS ALWAYS SMILING AND SAYS NICE THINGS, 165 00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:21,567 BUT DEEP DOWN, YOU JUST KNOW SHE'S A BITCH? 166 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,467 I DON'T LIKE THAT WORD, JULIE. 167 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,567 BUT, YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT EXAMPLE. 168 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,400 Julie: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 169 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,667 SORRY I'M LATE. 170 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,333 HI, SUSAN. 171 00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,333 HEY. 172 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:06,133 SO, WHAT DID CARL SAY WHEN YOU CONFRONTED HIM? 173 00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:08,533 YOU'LL LOVE THIS. HE SAID... 174 00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,800 "IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. IT WAS JUST SEX." 175 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,500 AH, YES, PAGE ONE OF THE PHILANDERER'S HANDBOOK. 176 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,433 YEAH, AND THEN HE GOT THIS ZEN LOOK ON HIS FACE, 177 00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:17,200 AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW, SUSAN, 178 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:20,133 MOST MEN LIVE LIVES OF QUIET DESPERATION." 179 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,400 PLEASE TELL ME YOU PUNCHED HIM. 180 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:22,533 NO, I SAID, "REALLY? 181 00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,467 AND WHAT DO MOST WOMEN LEAD, LIVES OF NOISY FULFILLMENT?" 182 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,067 HMM. GOOD FOR YOU. 183 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,167 I MEAN, OF ALL PEOPLE, 184 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,633 DID HE HAVE TO BANG HIS SECRETARY? 185 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:30,267 I HAD THAT WOMAN OVER FOR BRUNCH. 186 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,633 IT'S LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER ALWAYS SAID -- 187 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,400 AN ERECT PENIS DOESN'T HAVE A CONSCIENCE. 188 00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,433 EVEN THE LIMP ONES AREN'T THAT ETHICAL. 189 00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,533 THIS IS HALF THE REASON I JOINED THE NRA. 190 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,167 WELL, WHEN REX STARTED GOING TO THOSE MEDICAL CONFERENCES, 191 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,633 I WANTED IT IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND 192 00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,300 THAT HE HAD A LOVING WIFE AT HOME 193 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,833 WITH A LOADED SMITH & WESSON. 194 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:46,733 LYNNIE, TOM'S ALWAYS AWAY ON BUSINESS. 195 00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,133 DO YOU EVER WORRY HE MIGHT? 196 00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,700 OH, PLEASE, THE MAN'S GOTTEN ME PREGNANT 197 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,633 THREE TIMES IN FOUR YEARS. 198 00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:54,233 I WISH HE WAS HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 199 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,800 HA HA HA. 200 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,567 SO, SUSAN, IS HE GOING TO STOP SEEING THAT WOMAN? 201 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,767 I DON'T KNOW. 202 00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:11,733 I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS. I JUST... 203 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,633 I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO SURVIVE THIS. 204 00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:17,500 LISTEN TO ME. 205 00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:20,433 WE ALL HAVE MOMENTS OF DESPERATION. 206 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,067 BUT IF WE CAN FACE THEM HEAD-ON, 207 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:26,200 THAT'S WHEN WE FIND OUT JUST HOW STRONG WE REALLY ARE. 208 00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:33,733 SUSAN. 209 00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:34,733 SUSAN. 210 00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,133 I WAS JUST SAYING 211 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,567 PAUL WANTS US TO GO OVER ON FRIDAY. 212 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,267 HE NEEDS US TO GO THROUGH MARY ALICE'S CLOSET 213 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,567 AND HELP PACK UP HER THINGS. 214 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,100 HE SAID HE CAN'T FACE DOING IT BY HIMSELF. 215 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,600 SURE. THAT'S FINE. 216 00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,733 ARE YOU OKAY? 217 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:47,567 YEAH. 218 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,400 I'M JUST SO ANGRY. 219 00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:51,100 IF MARY ALICE WAS HAVING PROBLEMS, 220 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,300 SHE SHOULD HAVE COME TO US. 221 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:53,833 SHE SHOULD HAVE LET US HELP HER. 222 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,367 WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS COULD SHE HAVE HAD? 223 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,700 SHE WAS HEALTHY, 224 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:58,100 HAD A GREAT HOME, A NICE FAMILY. 225 00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:59,167 HER LIFE WAS... 226 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,267 OUR LIFE. 227 00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,667 NO, IF MARY ALICE WAS HAVING SOME SORT OF CRISIS, 228 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,367 WE'D HAVE KNOWN. 229 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,367 SHE LIVES 50 FEET AWAY, FOR GOD'S SAKES. 230 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,433 GABBY, THE WOMAN KILLED HERSELF. 231 00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,300 SOMETHING MUST HAVE BEEN GOING ON. 232 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,400 I WOULDN'T EAT THAT IF I WERE YOU. 233 00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,433 WHY? 234 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,100 I MADE IT. TRUST ME. 235 00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:34,233 HEY, HEY, DO YOU -- DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH? 236 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,200 NO, I JUST REFUSE TO BELIEVE 237 00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:37,167 THAT ANYBODY CAN SCREW UP MACARONI AND CHEESE. 238 00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:41,067 OH, MY GOD. 239 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,700 HOW DID YOU -- 240 00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:45,800 IT TASTES LIKE IT'S BURNED AND UNDERCOOKED. 241 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:47,600 YEAH, I GET THAT A LOT. HERE YOU GO. 242 00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:49,133 HA HA. 243 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,800 UM... 244 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,300 HA HA. THANKS. 245 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,633 I'M MIKE DELFINO. 246 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,767 I JUST STARTED RENTING THE SIMMS HOUSE NEXT DOOR. 247 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,500 SUSAN MAYER. I LIVE ACROSS THE STREET. 248 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,300 OH, YEAH, MRS. HUBER TOLD ME ABOUT YOU. 249 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,233 SAID YOU ILLUSTRATE CHILDREN'S BOOKS. 250 00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,667 YEAH, I'M VERY BIG WITH THE UNDER-5 SET. 251 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,633 HA HA HA. 252 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,067 WHAT DO YOU DO? PLUMBER. 253 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,167 SO IF YOU EVER HAVE A CLOG... 254 00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:12,800 OR SOMETHING. 255 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:15,767 HA HA. 256 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,733 NOW THAT EVERYBODY'S SEEN THAT I BROUGHT SOMETHING, 257 00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:21,333 I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST THROW THIS OUT. 258 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,100 HA HA. 259 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:33,200 OW. 260 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,167 EASE UP, YOU LITTLE VAMPIRE. 261 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:41,400 LYNETTE, I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 262 00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:44,133 ARE YOU AWARE OF WHAT YOUR SONS ARE DOING? 263 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,067 Boy: CANNONBALL! 264 00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:52,700 [ BOYS YELLING ] 265 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,600 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 266 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,400 WE ARE AT A WAKE. 267 00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,367 WHEN WE GOT HERE, YOU SAID WE COULD GO IN THE POOL. 268 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,667 I SAID YOU COULD GO BY THE POOL. 269 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,200 DO YOU HAVE YOUR SWIMSUITS ON? 270 00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,567 YEAH, WE PUT THEM UNDER OUR CLOTHES 271 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,833 BEFORE WE LEFT. 272 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,800 YOU THREE PLANNED THIS? ALL RIGHT. 273 00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:12,233 THAT'S IT. GET OUT! 274 00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:14,400 NO! NO? 275 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,633 I AM YOUR MOTHER. 276 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,233 YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY. COME ON. 277 00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:20,600 WE WANT TO SWIM, AND YOU CAN'T STOP US! 278 00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,633 HERE, FATHER. 279 00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:35,733 GET OUT, OR I WILL GET IN THIS POOL 280 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:36,833 AND JUST GRAB YOU. GET OUT! 281 00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:38,200 GET OVER HERE. 282 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:41,800 GET -- GET OVER HERE! 283 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:46,400 ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME YOUR ARM. GET BACK -- 284 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,800 YOU -- OOH! 285 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,367 MOVE IT! 286 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,567 THAT'S RIGHT! GET OVER HERE! 287 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,367 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 288 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,133 MOVE IT! 289 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,267 UGH. 290 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,067 OUT! GET OUT! 291 00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:14,300 PAUL, WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. 292 00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,700 ONCE AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. 293 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,833 GO. 294 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,800 Mary Alice: LYNETTE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO CONCERNED 295 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,200 ABOUT MY HUSBAND. 296 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,067 HE HAD OTHER THINGS ON HIS MIND -- 297 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,567 THINGS BELOW THE SURFACE. 298 00:13:36,867 --> 00:13:38,600 Mary Alice: THE MORNING AFTER MY FUNERAL, 299 00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,833 MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS QUIETLY WENT BACK 300 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,333 TO THEIR BUSY, BUSY LIVES. 301 00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:48,333 WHILE SOME DID THEIR COOKING... 302 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:52,100 AND SOME DID THEIR CLEANING... 303 00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,767 AND SOME DID THEIR YOGA... 304 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,767 OTHERS DID THEIR HOMEWORK. 305 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,133 HI. SHH. 306 00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,200 [ BARKS ] I'M JULIE. 307 00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:03,433 I KICKED MY SOCCER BALL INTO YOUR BACKYARD. 308 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:06,300 OH, OKAY. WELL, LET'S GO AROUND AND GET IT. 309 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,333 STAY. 310 00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:08,667 [ DOG BARKS ] 311 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,167 HIS WIFE DIED A YEAR AGO. HE WANTED TO STAY IN L.A., 312 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,667 BUT THERE WERE TOO MANY MEMORIES. 313 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,067 HE'S RENTING FOR TAX PURPOSES, 314 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,833 BUT HE HOPES TO BUY A PLACE REAL SOON. 315 00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:16,800 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT OVER THERE. 316 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,433 HEY, I SAW YOU BOTH FLIRTING AT THE WAKE. 317 00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:20,233 YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY INTO EACH OTHER. 318 00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:22,200 NOW THAT YOU KNOW HE'S SINGLE, YOU CAN ASK HIM OUT. 319 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,300 JULIE, I LIKE MR. DELFINO, I DO. 320 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,400 I JUST, UH, 321 00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,567 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M READY TO START DATING YET. 322 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,400 OH, YOU NEED TO GET BACK OUT THERE. 323 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,667 COME ON. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU'VE HAD SEX? 324 00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:35,600 ARE YOU MAD THAT I ASKED YOU THAT? 325 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,400 NO, I'M JUST TRYING TO REMEMBER. 326 00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:39,267 I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE ANYMORE. 327 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,700 IT WEIRDS ME OUT. 328 00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,800 I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. IT'S JUST... 329 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,233 WHAT? 330 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,067 I HEARD DAD'S GIRLFRIEND ASK 331 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,467 IF YOU'D DATED ANYONE SINCE THE DIVORCE, 332 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,067 AND DAD SAID HE DOUBTED IT. 333 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,300 AND THEN THEY BOTH LAUGHED. 334 00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:04,200 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 335 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,233 [ DOG BARKS ] 336 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,167 HEY. 337 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,800 SUSAN. HI, MIKE. 338 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,533 I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT. 339 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:17,267 I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT SOMETHING BY EARLIER, BUT... 340 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,233 ACTUALLY, YOU'RE THE FIRST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD TO STOP BY. 341 00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:20,233 REALLY? 342 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,100 SUSAN KNEW SHE WAS LUCKY. 343 00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:25,067 AN ELIGIBLE BACHELOR HAD MOVED ONTO WISTERIA LANE, 344 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:27,067 AND SHE WAS THE FIRST TO FIND OUT, 345 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,200 BUT SHE ALSO KNEW THAT GOOD NEWS... 346 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:30,133 HELLO THERE! 347 00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,700 TRAVELS QUICKLY. 348 00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,833 EDIE BRITT WAS THE MOST PREDATORY DIVORCéE 349 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,667 IN A 5-BLOCK RADIUS. 350 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,067 HER CONQUESTS WERE NUMEROUS... 351 00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:42,667 VARIED... 352 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,500 AND LEGENDARY. 353 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,700 HI, SUSAN. I HOPE I'M NOT INTERRUPTING. 354 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,133 YOU MUST BE MIKE DELFINO. 355 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,300 HI, I'M EDIE. 356 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,733 BRITT. 357 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,633 I LIVE OVER THERE. 358 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,100 WELCOME TO WISTERIA LANE. 359 00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:05,233 SUSAN HAD MET THE ENEMY, AND SHE WAS A SLUT. 360 00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,233 THANK YOU. HA HA. WHAT'S THIS? 361 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,067 SAUSAGE PUTANESCA. 362 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,133 IT'S JUST SOMETHING I THREW TOGETHER. 363 00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:12,833 WELL, THANKS, EDIE. HA HA. 364 00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:15,733 THAT'S GREAT. 365 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,567 I'D INVITE YOU BOTH IN, 366 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,633 BUT I WAS SORT OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. 367 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,733 OH, I -- NO PROBLEM. 368 00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,367 I'M LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT. I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI. 369 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,433 AND JUST LIKE THAT, 370 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:25,233 THE RACE FOR MIKE DELFINO HAD BEGUN. 371 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,700 FOR A MOMENT, SUSAN WONDERED 372 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:29,567 IF HER RIVALRY WITH EDIE WOULD REMAIN FRIENDLY. 373 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,400 OH, MIKE. I HEARD YOU'RE A PLUMBER? 374 00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:35,333 BUT SHE WAS REMINDED THAT WHEN IT CAME TO MEN... 375 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,667 DO YOU THINK YOU COULD STOP BY LATER TONIGHT 376 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,800 AND TAKE A LOOK AT MY PIPES? 377 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,833 WOMEN DON'T FIGHT FAIR. SURE. 378 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,800 THANKS. 379 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,267 BYE, SUSAN. 380 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,500 YOU CAN'T ORDER ME AROUND LIKE I'M A CHILD. 381 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,833 GABRIELLE. 382 00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:56,167 NO. NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT GOING. 383 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,200 IT'S BUSINESS. 384 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,700 TANAKA EXPECTS EVERYONE TO BRING THEIR WIVES. 385 00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:01,400 EVERY TIME I'M AROUND THAT MAN, HE TRIES TO GRAB MY ASS. 386 00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:03,500 HA HA. I MADE OVER $200,000 387 00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:05,200 DOING BUSINESS WITH HIM LAST YEAR. 388 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,133 IF HE WANTS TO GRAB YOUR ASS, YOU LET HIM. 389 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,267 JOHN. OW. 390 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,767 MR. SOLIS. YOU SCARED ME. 391 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,700 WHY IS THAT BUSH STILL THERE? 392 00:17:21,733 --> 00:17:24,267 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DIG IT UP LAST WEEK. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME LAST WEEK. 393 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,667 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES. 394 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,767 JUST TAKE CARE OF IT. 395 00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,733 I REALLY HATE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME. 396 00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:34,267 AND I REALLY HATE 397 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,233 THAT I SPEND $15,000 ON YOUR DIAMOND NECKLACE 398 00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:37,600 THAT YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT, 399 00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,133 BUT I'M LEARNING TO DEAL WITH IT. 400 00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,800 SO CAN I TELL TANAKA 401 00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:43,067 WE'LL BE THERE TOMORROW NIGHT? 402 00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,400 JOHN. 403 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,633 WE HAVE BANDAGES TOP SHELF IN THE KITCHEN. 404 00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:47,767 THANKS, MRS. SOLIS. 405 00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:53,667 FINE. I'LL GO. 406 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,733 BUT I'M KEEPING MY BACK PRESSED AGAINST THE WALL 407 00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,567 THE ENTIRE TIME. 408 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,800 SEE? 409 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:01,167 NOW THIS IS WHAT A MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT -- 410 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,300 COMPROMISE. 411 00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,600 IS YOUR FINGER OKAY? 412 00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:11,700 YEAH, YEAH, IT'S JUST A SMALL CUT. 413 00:18:11,733 --> 00:18:13,133 LET ME SEE. 414 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:16,133 HMM. 415 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,433 YOU KNOW, MRS. SOLIS, 416 00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:35,067 UM, I REALLY LIKE IT WHEN WE HOOK UP, 417 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,600 BUT, UM, 418 00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,167 WELL, YOU KNOW, I-I GOT TO GET MY WORK DONE, 419 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,533 AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE THIS JOB. 420 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:45,367 THIS TABLE IS HAND-CARVED. 421 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,667 CARLOS HAD IT IMPORTED FROM ITALY. 422 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:51,067 IT COST HIM $23,000. 423 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:54,100 YOU WANT TO DO IT ON THE TABLE THIS TIME? 424 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,100 ABSOLUTELY. 425 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,100 WHY CAN'T WE EVER HAVE NORMAL SOUP? 426 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,733 DANIELLE, THERE IS NOTHING ABNORMAL 427 00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:15,767 ABOUT BASIL PUREE. 428 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,233 JUST ONCE, 429 00:19:17,267 --> 00:19:19,600 COULDN'T WE HAVE A SOUP THAT PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF? 430 00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,533 LIKE FRENCH ONION OR NAVY BEAN. 431 00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:24,467 FIRST OF ALL, YOUR FATHER CAN'T EAT ONIONS. 432 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,533 HE'S DEATHLY ALLERGIC. 433 00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:27,300 AND I WON'T EVEN DIGNIFY YOUR NAVY BEAN SUGGESTION. 434 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,300 SO... 435 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,267 HOW'S THE OSSO BUCO? 436 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,200 IT'S OKAY. 437 00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:34,233 IT'S OKAY? 438 00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,500 ANDREW, I SPENT THREE HOURS COOKING THIS MEAL. 439 00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:39,100 HOW DO YOU THINK IT MAKES ME FEEL 440 00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:41,567 WHEN YOU SAY "IT'S OKAY" IN THAT SULLEN TONE? 441 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,633 WHO ASKED YOU TO SPEND THREE HOURS ON DINNER? 442 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,067 EXCUSE ME? 443 00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,367 TIM HARPER'S MOM GETS HOME FROM WORK, 444 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,233 POPS OPEN A CAN OF PORK AND BEANS, 445 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,100 AND BOOM, THEY'RE EATING. EVERYONE'S HAPPY. 446 00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,167 YOU'D RATHER I SERVE PORK AND BEANS? 447 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,833 APOLOGIZE NOW. I AM BEGGING. 448 00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:00,833 I'M SAYING, DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SERVE CUISINE? 449 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,233 CAN'T WE EVER JUST HAVE FOOD? 450 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,233 ARE YOU DOING DRUGS? WHAT? 451 00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,100 CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR IS ONE OF THE WARNING SIGNS, 452 00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,133 AND YOU HAVE BEEN AS FRESH AS PAINT 453 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,067 FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS. 454 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,367 THAT CERTAINLY WOULD EXPLAIN 455 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,800 WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM. 456 00:20:11,833 --> 00:20:13,433 TRUST ME, THAT IS NOT WHAT HE IS DOING. 457 00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:15,333 SHUT UP. 458 00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,133 MOM, I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM HERE, ALL RIGHT? 459 00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,367 YOU'RE THE ONE ALWAYS ACTING 460 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,300 LIKE SHE'S RUNNING FOR MAYOR OF STEPFORD. 461 00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:22,033 REX. 462 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,367 SEEING THAT YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSEHOLD, 463 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,200 I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOU SAYING SOMETHING. 464 00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:30,067 PASS THE SALT? 465 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,800 Mary Alice: THREE DAYS AFTER MY FUNERAL, 466 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:47,433 LYNETTE REPLACED HER GRIEF WITH A MUCH MORE USEFUL EMOTION -- 467 00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:49,033 INDIGNATION. 468 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,700 TOM, THIS IS MY FIFTH MESSAGE, 469 00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,633 AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T CALLED ME BACK. 470 00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:55,167 WELL, YOU MUST BE HAVING A LOT OF FUN ON YOUR BUSINESS TRIP. 471 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,567 I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. 472 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,067 WELL, GUESS WHAT -- 473 00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,233 THE KIDS AND I WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN, TOO, 474 00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:01,700 SO UNLESS YOU CALL ME BACK BY NOON, 475 00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,267 WE ARE GETTING ON A PLANE AND JOINING YOU. 476 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,700 MOM! 477 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:06,800 NOT NOW, HONEY. MOMMY'S THREATENING DADDY. 478 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,633 MOM. NO, I -- 479 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,733 WHERE ARE YOUR BROTHERS? 480 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,733 NOODLES -- MY FAVORITE. 481 00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:20,467 LYNETTE SCAVO? 482 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,567 CRAP. 483 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,167 NATALIE KLEIN. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 484 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,767 LYNETTE. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? 485 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,500 YEARS. 486 00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:31,100 UH, HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S THE FIRM? 487 00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:32,067 GOOD. 488 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,333 EVERYONE MISSES YOU. 489 00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:35,067 YEAH. 490 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,200 WE ALL SAY IF YOU HADN'T QUIT, 491 00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:37,467 YOU'D BE RUNNING THE PLACE BY NOW. 492 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:40,133 YEAH, WELL... 493 00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:41,333 SO... 494 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,167 HOW'S DOMESTIC LIFE? 495 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,700 DON'T YOU JUST LOVE BEING A MOM? 496 00:21:46,733 --> 00:21:48,267 AND THERE IT WAS -- 497 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,533 THE QUESTION THAT LYNETTE ALWAYS DREADED. 498 00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:52,467 WELL, TO BE HONEST... 499 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,733 FOR THOSE WHO ASKED IT, ONLY ONE ANSWER WAS ACCEPTABLE, 500 00:21:56,767 --> 00:21:58,400 SO LYNETTE RESPONDED AS SHE ALWAYS DID. 501 00:21:58,433 --> 00:21:59,733 SHE LIED. 502 00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:03,167 IT'S THE BEST JOB I'VE EVER HAD. 503 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,567 [ PEOPLE GASPING ] 504 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,467 Boy: OH, YEAH. 505 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:13,533 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. 506 00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:15,067 YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T GET? 507 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,067 WHAT? 508 00:22:16,067 --> 00:22:18,100 WHY YOU MARRIED MR. SOLIS. 509 00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:23,233 WELL... 510 00:22:23,267 --> 00:22:26,600 HE PROMISED TO GIVE ME EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. 511 00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:28,500 AND DID HE? 512 00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:30,800 YES. 513 00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:33,633 THEN WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY? 514 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:38,533 TURNS OUT I WANTED ALL THE WRONG THINGS. 515 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:42,433 SO DO YOU LOVE HIM? 516 00:22:42,467 --> 00:22:43,733 I DO. 517 00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:46,233 WELL, THEN, WHY ARE WE HERE? 518 00:22:46,267 --> 00:22:47,433 WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? 519 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,600 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP ONE MORNING 520 00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:52,067 WITH A SUDDEN URGE TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT. 521 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,633 HEY, CAN I HAVE A DRAG? 522 00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,633 ABSOLUTELY NOT. 523 00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:02,100 YOU ARE MUCH TOO YOUNG TO SMOKE. 524 00:23:03,733 --> 00:23:06,300 AH. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT ME USING 525 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:08,333 YOUR CHILD-SUPPORT PAYMENTS FOR PLASTIC SURGERY? 526 00:23:08,367 --> 00:23:09,500 STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. 527 00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:11,667 YOU'RE JUST ASKING HIM OUT TO DINNER. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 528 00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,133 YOU'RE RIGHT. 529 00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:16,233 SO IS THAT YOUR PROJECT FOR SCHOOL? 530 00:23:16,267 --> 00:23:18,233 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN FIFTH GRADE, 531 00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:19,400 I MADE THE WHITE HOUSE OUT OF SUGAR CUBES. 532 00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:20,800 STOP STALLING AND GO 533 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,833 BEFORE MIKE FIGURES OUT HE CAN DO BETTER. 534 00:23:22,867 --> 00:23:26,600 TELL ME AGAIN WHY I FOUGHT FOR CUSTODY OF YOU. 535 00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:28,633 YOU WERE USING ME TO HURT DAD. 536 00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,333 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 537 00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:34,700 OH, GOD. 538 00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:43,233 HI. 539 00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:44,633 HEY, SUSAN. 540 00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,600 ARE YOU BUSY? 541 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:47,767 NO, NOT AT ALL. WHAT'S UP? 542 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,500 WELL, I -- 543 00:23:49,533 --> 00:23:51,767 I JUST, UH, WAS WONDERING IF, UM... 544 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,633 IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE THAT YOU, UH... 545 00:23:55,667 --> 00:24:00,367 I-I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF... 546 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,800 EDIE. 547 00:24:02,833 --> 00:24:04,067 HEY THERE, SUSAN. 548 00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:05,367 WHAT ARE YOU -- 549 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,067 I WAS MAKING AMBROSIA, AND I MADE TOO MUCH, 550 00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:09,167 SO I THOUGHT I'D BRING SOME OVER TO MIKE. 551 00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,433 WHAT'S GOING ON? 552 00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:13,100 UH, SUSAN WAS JUST GOING TO ASK ME SOMETHING. 553 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,633 I HAVE A CLOG. 554 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,500 EXCUSE ME? 555 00:24:22,533 --> 00:24:23,833 AND YOU'RE A PLUMBER, RIGHT? 556 00:24:23,867 --> 00:24:24,800 YEAH. 557 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,367 THE CLOG'S IN THE PIPE. 558 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,300 YEAH, THAT'S USUALLY WHERE THEY ARE. 559 00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:30,167 WELL, I'VE GOT ONE. 560 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,067 OH, OKAY. WELL, UH, LET ME GET MY TOOLS. 561 00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:33,833 NOW? YOU WANT TO COME OVER NOW? 562 00:24:33,867 --> 00:24:35,600 YOU HAVE COMPANY. 563 00:24:35,633 --> 00:24:37,067 I DON'T MIND. 564 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,300 YEAH, JUST GIVE ME TWO MINUTES. 565 00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,400 I'LL BE RIGHT OVER. 566 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:51,767 THAT'S IT. JUST STUFF THE HAIR DOWN THERE. 567 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,533 I STUFFED IT. IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO CLOG IT. 568 00:24:53,567 --> 00:24:55,600 HERE. OKAY, LOOK. 569 00:24:55,633 --> 00:24:57,133 PUT IN THIS PEANUT BUTTER. 570 00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:00,833 AND THIS COOKING OIL. 571 00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:03,500 MOM -- AND THESE OLIVES. 572 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:05,300 MOM, I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S NOT WORKING. 573 00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:06,267 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 574 00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:07,600 OH, GOD. 575 00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:08,833 THAT'S HIM. 576 00:25:08,867 --> 00:25:11,500 HOW AM I GOING TO STOP UP THE SINK? 577 00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,467 WELL, HERE'S YOUR PROBLEM. 578 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:22,633 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY STUFFED 579 00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:24,533 A BUNCH OF POPSICLE STICKS DOWN HERE. 580 00:25:24,567 --> 00:25:27,633 I'VE TOLD JULIE A MILLION TIMES NOT TO PLAY IN THE KITCHEN. 581 00:25:27,667 --> 00:25:29,633 KIDS, YOU KNOW? 582 00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:31,567 HA HA. 583 00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:36,200 ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO PUT IN YOUR ORDERS, 584 00:25:36,233 --> 00:25:37,700 AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH YOUR DRINKS 585 00:25:37,733 --> 00:25:39,067 AND YOUR PLATES FOR THE SALAD BAR. 586 00:25:39,067 --> 00:25:40,267 THANK YOU. 587 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:43,733 ANDREW, DANIELLE, NAPKINS? 588 00:25:43,767 --> 00:25:47,233 THEY HAVE VIDEO GAMES. 589 00:25:47,267 --> 00:25:49,467 COULD WE GO PLAY UNTIL OUR FOOD GETS HERE? 590 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,233 ANDREW, THIS IS FAMILY TIME. 591 00:25:51,267 --> 00:25:53,600 I THINK THAT WE SHOULD ALL -- GO AHEAD AND PLAY. 592 00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,067 I KNOW THAT YOU THINK I'M ANGRY ABOUT COMING HERE, 593 00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:05,433 BUT I'M NOT. 594 00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:07,100 YOU AND THE KIDS WANTED A CHANGE OF PACE, 595 00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:08,500 SOMETHING FUN. 596 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:10,233 I GET IT. 597 00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,167 PROBABLY WE'LL WANT SOMETHING HEALTHIER 598 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,433 TOMORROW NIGHT, THOUGH. 599 00:26:13,467 --> 00:26:15,300 I'M THINKING ABOUT CHICKEN SALTIMBOCCA. 600 00:26:15,333 --> 00:26:18,567 I WANT A DIVORCE. 601 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:23,067 I JUST CAN'T LIVE IN THIS -- 602 00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:25,267 THIS DETERGENT COMMERCIAL ANYMORE. 603 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,633 THE SALAD BAR'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 604 00:26:27,667 --> 00:26:29,400 HELP YOURSELF. 605 00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:31,433 THANK YOU. 606 00:26:31,467 --> 00:26:36,600 UM, I THINK I'LL GO GET YOUR SALAD FOR YOU. 607 00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:49,800 BREE VAN DE KAMP. 608 00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:50,800 OH. 609 00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:52,500 HELLO, MRS. HUBER. 610 00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:55,400 WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TALK AT MARY ALICE'S WAKE. 611 00:26:55,433 --> 00:26:57,333 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 612 00:26:57,367 --> 00:26:59,733 BREE LONGED TO SHARE THE TRUTH 613 00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:02,833 ABOUT HER HUSBAND'S PAINFUL BETRAYAL, 614 00:27:02,867 --> 00:27:04,267 BUT SADLY FOR BREE, 615 00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:06,333 ADMITTING DEFEAT WAS NOT AN OPTION. 616 00:27:06,367 --> 00:27:07,800 GREAT. 617 00:27:07,833 --> 00:27:10,533 EVERYTHING IS JUST GREAT. 618 00:27:10,567 --> 00:27:12,667 OKAY, WELL, I GOT YOU THE HONEY MUSTARD DRESSING. 619 00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,367 THE RANCH LOOKED JUST A LITTLE BIT SUSPECT. 620 00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,533 ARE WE GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I SAID? 621 00:27:26,567 --> 00:27:28,067 IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO DISCUSS 622 00:27:28,067 --> 00:27:29,700 THE DISSOLUTION OF MY MARRIAGE IN A PLACE 623 00:27:29,733 --> 00:27:31,700 WHERE THE RESTROOMS ARE LABELED "CHICKS" AND "DUDES," 624 00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,300 YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND. 625 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,200 WHAT'S IN THIS? 626 00:27:37,233 --> 00:27:39,333 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT'S IN THIS? IT'S SALAD. 627 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,333 [ Coughs ] WITH -- WITH ONIONS? 628 00:27:41,367 --> 00:27:42,433 WHAT? 629 00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:44,200 YOU PUT ONIONS IN MY SALAD. 630 00:27:44,233 --> 00:27:45,433 NO, I DIDN'T. 631 00:27:45,467 --> 00:27:47,100 [ WHEEZES ] 632 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,233 OH, WAIT. 633 00:27:51,267 --> 00:27:54,100 [ METALLIC SCRAPING ] 634 00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:01,467 THE SOUND THAT AWAKENED MY SON 635 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,267 WAS SOMETHING HE'D HEARD ONLY ONCE BEFORE, 636 00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,600 MANY YEARS AGO WHEN HE WAS QUITE YOUNG, 637 00:28:07,633 --> 00:28:11,467 BUT HE RECOGNIZED IT INSTANTLY. 638 00:28:18,267 --> 00:28:21,233 IT WAS THE SOUND OF A FAMILY SECRET. 639 00:28:40,267 --> 00:28:42,433 Mary Alice: SEVEN DAYS AFTER MY FUNERAL, 640 00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:46,533 LIFE ON WISTERIA LANE FINALLY RETURNED TO NORMAL, 641 00:28:46,567 --> 00:28:48,567 WHICH, FOR SOME OF MY FRIENDS... 642 00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:51,233 WAS UNFORTUNATE. 643 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,533 MOMMY, MOMMY! 644 00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:55,533 NOW WHAT? 645 00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,100 DADDY'S HOME! 646 00:28:57,133 --> 00:28:58,633 [ BOYS CHEERING ] 647 00:28:58,667 --> 00:29:00,300 HA HA. 648 00:29:00,333 --> 00:29:01,800 HEY, IS ANYBODY HOME? 649 00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,733 HEY! 650 00:29:03,767 --> 00:29:05,667 HEY. 651 00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:07,433 I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU FOR A WEEK. 652 00:29:07,467 --> 00:29:09,767 I HAVE TO GO BACK TO FRISCO IN THE MORNING, 653 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,700 BUT I GOT YOUR CALL. YOU SOUNDED A LITTLE FRAZZLED. 654 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,500 YEAH. 655 00:29:13,533 --> 00:29:15,067 IT'S BEEN A LITTLE ROUGH. 656 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:16,467 HI. YEAH. MMM, PEACHES. 657 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,300 DADDY, DID YOU BRING US ANY PRESENTS? 658 00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:21,100 OH, GOD, PRESENTS. WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME SEE. 659 00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:27,167 OH. [ BOYS CHEER ] 660 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,767 BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU 661 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,633 UNLESS YOU PROMISE ME TO GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW 662 00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:32,600 AND PRACTICE THROWING IT FOR 20 MINUTES, OKAY? 663 00:29:32,633 --> 00:29:34,167 YOU PROMISE? 664 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,200 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! GET OUT OF HERE. GO. 665 00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:39,767 WHO'S OPEN? GO OUT! DEEPER! DEEPER! 666 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:40,833 TOUCHDOWN! 667 00:29:40,867 --> 00:29:43,367 OH, MY GOD. OH. 668 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:45,633 HA HA HA. 669 00:29:45,667 --> 00:29:47,133 OH. 670 00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:49,433 OH, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING. 671 00:29:49,467 --> 00:29:51,400 I'M EXHAUSTED. I LOOK TERRIBLE. 672 00:29:51,433 --> 00:29:53,067 I'M COVERED IN PEACHES. 673 00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:55,067 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY. I GOT TO HAVE YOU. 674 00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:58,400 WELL, IS IT OKAY IF I JUST LIE HERE? 675 00:29:58,433 --> 00:30:01,367 ABSOLUTELY. HA HA. 676 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,100 HA HA HA. 677 00:30:03,133 --> 00:30:04,400 I LOVE YOU. 678 00:30:04,433 --> 00:30:07,233 AND I LOVE YOU MORE. 679 00:30:07,267 --> 00:30:08,567 OH, BABY. 680 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,767 OH, WAIT, I GOT TO TELL YOU, 681 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:10,833 I WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH SWELLING, 682 00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:12,233 SO THE DOCTOR TOOK ME OFF THE PILL, 683 00:30:12,267 --> 00:30:13,400 SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO PUT ON A CONDOM. 684 00:30:13,433 --> 00:30:14,367 CONDOM? 685 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,400 YEAH. 686 00:30:15,433 --> 00:30:16,700 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? LET'S RISK IT. 687 00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:18,567 LET'S RISK IT? 688 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,500 YEAH. 689 00:30:24,367 --> 00:30:26,233 OH. [ Groans ] 690 00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:31,233 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRIED TO KILL ME. 691 00:30:31,267 --> 00:30:33,233 YES, WELL, I FEEL BADLY ABOUT THAT. 692 00:30:33,267 --> 00:30:36,133 I TOLD YOU, MRS. HUBER CAME OVER, AND I GOT DISTRACTED. 693 00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,767 IT WAS A MISTAKE. 694 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,100 SINCE WHEN DO YOU MAKE MISTAKES? 695 00:30:39,133 --> 00:30:41,567 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 696 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,600 IT MEANS I'M SICK OF YOU BEING SO DAMN PERFECT ALL THE TIME. 697 00:30:45,633 --> 00:30:49,233 I-I'M SICK OF THE BIZARRE WAY YOUR HAIR DOESN'T MOVE. 698 00:30:49,267 --> 00:30:51,200 I'M SICK OF YOU MAKING OUR BED IN THE MORNING 699 00:30:51,233 --> 00:30:53,200 BEFORE I'VE EVEN USED THE BATHROOM. 700 00:30:53,233 --> 00:30:55,667 YOU'RE THIS PLASTIC SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE 701 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:57,233 WITH HER PEARLS AND HER SPATULA 702 00:30:57,267 --> 00:31:00,567 WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE "WE OWE THE HENDERSONS A DINNER." 703 00:31:02,867 --> 00:31:04,800 WHERE'S THE WOMAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH... 704 00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:09,267 WHO USED TO BURN THE TOAST 705 00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:11,233 AND DRINK MILK OUT OF THE CARTON... 706 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,133 AND LAUGH? 707 00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:20,433 I NEED HER. 708 00:31:20,467 --> 00:31:23,133 NOT THIS COLD, PERFECT THING YOU'VE BECOME. 709 00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:31,467 THESE NEED WATER. 710 00:31:44,433 --> 00:31:46,533 BREE SOBBED QUIETLY IN THE RESTROOM 711 00:31:46,567 --> 00:31:48,067 FOR FIVE MINUTES, 712 00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:51,300 BUT HER HUSBAND NEVER KNEW, 713 00:31:51,333 --> 00:31:55,433 BECAUSE WHEN BREE FINALLY EMERGED... 714 00:31:55,467 --> 00:31:59,500 SHE WAS PERFECT. 715 00:32:05,267 --> 00:32:07,167 I FOUND MY EARRINGS. WE CAN GO NOW. 716 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,533 WAS JOHN HERE TODAY? 717 00:32:08,567 --> 00:32:11,067 WELL, YEAH. 718 00:32:11,067 --> 00:32:13,267 THE LAWN HASN'T BEEN MOWED. 719 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,433 I'VE HAD IT. 720 00:32:14,467 --> 00:32:15,733 WE'RE GETTING A REAL GARDENER. 721 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,200 WHY? ARE YOU DEAF? 722 00:32:17,233 --> 00:32:19,567 I JUST SAID HE'S NOT DOING HIS JOB. 723 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,700 IT'S DARK. YOU JUST CAN'T SEE THAT THE LAWN HAS BEEN MOWED. 724 00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:24,367 IT HASN'T BEEN. FEEL THIS GRASS. 725 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,567 I'M NOT FEELING THE GRASS. 726 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,233 LET'S JUST GET GOING. COME ON. 727 00:32:27,267 --> 00:32:28,533 WE'RE LATE. 728 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,533 TAKE CARE OF IT. YES, SIR. 729 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,467 THERE'S TANAKA. 730 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,433 TIME FOR ME TO GO INTO MY DANCE. 731 00:32:46,467 --> 00:32:47,700 GOOD LUCK, SWEETHEART. 732 00:32:51,233 --> 00:32:52,400 OH, EXCUSE ME. MA'AM? 733 00:32:52,433 --> 00:32:54,833 YOU SEE THAT MAN WHO JUST WALKED AWAY? 734 00:32:54,867 --> 00:32:56,833 CAN YOU MAKE SURE HE HAS A DRINK IN HIS HAND 735 00:32:56,867 --> 00:32:59,533 ALL NIGHT LONG? 736 00:32:59,567 --> 00:33:01,567 YES, MA'AM. 737 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:28,800 OOH! 738 00:33:34,267 --> 00:33:35,533 OOH! 739 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,433 SUSAN? 740 00:34:35,467 --> 00:34:36,167 SUSAN. 741 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,500 OH, MRS. HUBER, HOW YOU DOING? 742 00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:38,600 NOT TOO WELL, I'M AFRAID. 743 00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:41,467 I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO SOOTHE MY STOMACH. 744 00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:42,667 OH, IT'S UPSET? 745 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,067 YEAH. 746 00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:45,500 I HAD THE WORST MACARONI AND CHEESE AT THE WAKE. 747 00:34:45,533 --> 00:34:47,067 IT'S BEEN RUNNING THROUGH ME EVER SINCE. 748 00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:48,067 OH. 749 00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:49,500 AND I NEED TO BE AT MY BEST. 750 00:34:49,533 --> 00:34:52,067 EDIE BRITT'S SON IS SPENDING THE NIGHT TONIGHT. 751 00:34:52,067 --> 00:34:54,533 HE'S SPENDING THE NIGHT? 752 00:34:54,567 --> 00:34:56,100 APPARENTLY, EDIE IS HAVING A GENTLEMAN FRIEND 753 00:34:56,133 --> 00:34:57,433 OVER FOR DINNER, 754 00:34:57,467 --> 00:34:59,333 AND I THINK SHE PLANS ON ENTERTAINING 755 00:34:59,367 --> 00:35:02,067 INTO THE WEE HOURS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 756 00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,767 OH, HERE'S SOME ANTACID. 757 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,100 HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS? 758 00:35:08,133 --> 00:35:09,367 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 759 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,433 THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 760 00:35:10,467 --> 00:35:13,267 MIKE CAN'T LIKE EDIE BETTER THAN ME. HE JUST CAN'T. 761 00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:14,600 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 762 00:35:14,633 --> 00:35:16,600 MAYBE THEY'RE JUST HAVING DINNER. 763 00:35:17,567 --> 00:35:20,167 YOU'RE RIGHT. THEY'RE DOING IT. 764 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,400 EDIE? 765 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:46,700 EDIE? 766 00:35:52,433 --> 00:35:54,067 HELLO? 767 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:55,333 ANYBODY HOME? 768 00:35:58,467 --> 00:36:00,233 I NEED TO BORROW SUGAR. 769 00:36:00,267 --> 00:36:01,567 Marvin Gaye: * COME ON 770 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,533 * OH, COME ON 771 00:36:03,567 --> 00:36:04,733 * WHOO 772 00:36:04,767 --> 00:36:07,133 * LET'S GET IT ON 773 00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:10,233 * OW, BABY 774 00:36:10,267 --> 00:36:13,500 * LET'S GET IT ON 775 00:36:13,533 --> 00:36:15,600 * LET'S LOVE, BABY 776 00:36:15,633 --> 00:36:16,567 * LET'S GET IT ON 777 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:17,567 Edie: OH, MY GOD. 778 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,100 OH, YES. 779 00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:20,800 OH, MY GOD. GIVE IT TO ME. 780 00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:22,633 Mary Alice: AND JUST LIKE THAT, 781 00:36:22,667 --> 00:36:24,767 THE POSSIBILITY SUSAN HAD CLUNG TO, 782 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,800 THE MAYBE OF MIKE DELFINO, 783 00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:31,800 WAS GONE FOREVER. 784 00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:34,267 AND DESPITE THE PRECARIOUSNESS OF HER SITUATION, 785 00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:37,333 SUSAN TOOK A MOMENT TO MOURN HER LOSS. 786 00:36:46,433 --> 00:36:48,200 [ GASPS ] 787 00:36:48,233 --> 00:36:49,233 OH! 788 00:36:49,267 --> 00:36:51,233 OH, MY GOD. 789 00:36:55,767 --> 00:36:58,267 OH! OH. 790 00:37:02,267 --> 00:37:05,467 IT DIDN'T TAKE SUSAN LONG TO REALIZE 791 00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:08,233 THIS WAS JUST NOT HER NIGHT. 792 00:37:08,267 --> 00:37:10,067 Edie: IS SOMEBODY OUT THERE? 793 00:37:10,067 --> 00:37:11,733 [ SMOKE DETECTOR BEEPING ] 794 00:37:11,767 --> 00:37:14,233 OH, MY GOD! THAT'S SMOKE! 795 00:37:18,667 --> 00:37:19,700 [ SIRENS WAILING ] 796 00:37:19,733 --> 00:37:23,533 Woman on radio: CODE 14, CALL FIREFIGHTERS 130, 92, 797 00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:27,200 SCOUT 24, PATROLMAN 42... 798 00:37:30,433 --> 00:37:33,567 CANDLES UNATTENDED IN THE DEN. 799 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,167 PARAMEDICS SAID SHE WAS LUCKY. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. 800 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,167 OH. 801 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,367 SHE RAN OUT WITH NOTHING ON. 802 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,800 SHE WAS HAVING SEX WITH SOME GUY WHEN THE FIRE STARTED. 803 00:37:41,833 --> 00:37:43,733 WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? 804 00:37:43,767 --> 00:37:46,267 HE GOT SMOKE INHALATION. HE'S AT THE HOSPITAL. 805 00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,833 SUSAN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 806 00:37:48,867 --> 00:37:50,367 YOU LOOK AWFUL. 807 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,200 I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 808 00:37:52,233 --> 00:37:54,100 I-I JUST, UH... 809 00:37:54,133 --> 00:37:57,533 FEEL REALLY BAD FOR EDIE. 810 00:37:57,567 --> 00:37:58,567 OH, HONEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT EDIE. 811 00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,700 SHE'S A STRONG LADY. 812 00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:00,667 ABSOLUTELY. 813 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:01,833 SHE'LL GET THROUGH THIS. 814 00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:03,700 SHE'LL FIND A WAY TO SURVIVE. 815 00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:06,200 WE ALL DO. 816 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:09,700 COME ON. 817 00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:14,233 ARE YOU READY? 818 00:38:14,267 --> 00:38:18,067 SHE'S LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 819 00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:20,567 ALL THE OTHER HOUSES COULD HAVE CAUGHT ON FIRE. 820 00:38:27,067 --> 00:38:28,500 WOW, WHAT HAPPENED? 821 00:38:28,533 --> 00:38:30,367 MIKE. 822 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,100 AND SUDDENLY, THERE HE WAS, 823 00:38:32,133 --> 00:38:33,600 LIKE A PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES. 824 00:38:33,633 --> 00:38:36,467 I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE -- 825 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,267 UH, WHERE WERE YOU? 826 00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:40,100 I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE MOVIES. 827 00:38:40,133 --> 00:38:41,733 EDIE HAD A FIRE, HUH? 828 00:38:41,767 --> 00:38:43,233 YEAH. 829 00:38:43,267 --> 00:38:46,633 YEAH, BUT SHE'S FINE NOW. 830 00:38:46,667 --> 00:38:48,133 EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW. 831 00:38:48,167 --> 00:38:51,833 AND JUST LIKE THAT, SUSAN WAS HAPPY. 832 00:38:51,867 --> 00:38:53,667 LIFE WAS SUDDENLY FULL OF... 833 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:55,633 POSSIBILITIES. 834 00:39:00,733 --> 00:39:04,600 NOT TO MENTION A FEW UNEXPECTED SURPRISES. 835 00:39:08,767 --> 00:39:09,700 Man: HELLO? 836 00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:10,700 HEY, IT'S ME. 837 00:39:10,733 --> 00:39:12,067 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YET? 838 00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:14,433 NO. NO, NOTHING YET, BUT DON'T WORRY. 839 00:39:14,467 --> 00:39:17,133 I'M DEFINITELY GETTING CLOSER. 840 00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,633 Susan: I BROUGHT SOME CHAMPAGNE. 841 00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:28,300 I THOUGHT WE SHOULD HAVE A TOAST. 842 00:39:28,333 --> 00:39:30,433 THE NEXT DAY, MY FRIENDS CAME TOGETHER 843 00:39:30,467 --> 00:39:33,667 TO PACK AWAY MY CLOTHES, MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS, 844 00:39:33,700 --> 00:39:36,300 AND WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY LIFE. 845 00:39:38,233 --> 00:39:40,267 ALL RIGHT, LADIES, LIFT 'EM UP. 846 00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:41,467 TO MARY ALICE -- 847 00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:43,300 A GOOD FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR. 848 00:39:43,333 --> 00:39:45,367 WHEREVER YOU ARE, WE HOPE YOU'VE FOUND PEACE. 849 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:46,333 Bree: TO MARY ALICE. 850 00:39:46,367 --> 00:39:48,333 TO MARY ALICE. 851 00:39:54,433 --> 00:39:56,400 LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 852 00:39:56,433 --> 00:39:58,833 YOU GUYS CHECK OUT MARY ALICE'S CLOTHES? 853 00:39:58,867 --> 00:40:00,767 SIZE 8? HA. 854 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,100 SHE ALWAYS TOLD ME SHE WAS A SIZE 6. 855 00:40:03,133 --> 00:40:05,033 GUESS WE FOUND THE SKELETON IN HER CLOSET. 856 00:40:05,067 --> 00:40:07,333 NOT QUITE, GABRIELLE. NOT QUITE. 857 00:40:07,367 --> 00:40:08,733 WHAT'S THAT? 858 00:40:08,767 --> 00:40:10,633 IT'S A LETTER ADDRESSED TO MARY ALICE. 859 00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:11,833 HOW IRONIC -- 860 00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,700 TO HAVE SOMETHING I TRIED SO DESPERATELY TO KEEP SECRET 861 00:40:14,733 --> 00:40:16,600 TREATED SO CASUALLY. 862 00:40:16,633 --> 00:40:18,367 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT'S PRIVATE. 863 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,033 IT'S OPEN. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 864 00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:33,067 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 865 00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:34,367 I DON'T KNOW, BUT CHECK OUT THE POSTMARK. 866 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,500 OH, MY GOD. SHE GOT IT THE DAY SHE DIED. 867 00:40:37,533 --> 00:40:40,433 DO YOU THINK THIS IS WHY SHE... 868 00:40:40,467 --> 00:40:43,300 I'M SO SORRY, GIRLS. 869 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,767 I NEVER WANTED YOU TO BE BURDENED WITH THIS. 870 00:40:47,433 --> 00:40:50,600 OH, MARY ALICE, WHAT DID YOU DO? 59936

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